#discworld fic

[skyriderwednesday]

'Little'

Asked to describe Rufus Drumknott, the majority of people who even knew who he was would probably start out by saying that he was ‘a little man of below average height’. This bothered Vimes for a number of reasons.

(G Rated, 350 words, HC: Vimes is Short)

Asked to describe Rufus Drumknott, the majority of people who even knew who he was would probably start out by saying that he was ‘a little man of below average height’. This bothered Vimes for a number of reasons. It was certainly true that Drumknott wasn’t tall by any stretch of the imagination, and being seen mostly in relation to Lord Vetinari diminished his apparent scale considerably. That wasn’t his fault, a man can’t help an eight-inch height difference between him and his employer, and certainly shouldn’t be blamed for another man being tall. It would be like saying that Cheri was short because she was standing next to Detritus. …just because she was standing next to Detritus. It wouldn’t be fair. After all, Cheri was short for multiple reasons, chief of which was called Being A Dwarf. Secondly, calling him ‘little’ neglected the fact that Drumknott was sturdy and dependable. He was like a pit pony, he wasn’t ever ill, and he pulled his own weight and then some. He wasn’t loud in his personality and he kept to himself, but so did a good stone wall. People only paid attention when one fell down. In his experience, it was always the quiet ones you wanted to watch anyway. A loud man would tell you exactly what he was thinking, but people very rarely took any notice of the clerk sitting quietly in a corner. Even if they did, they’d have to be extraordinarily observant to realise that he was taking notes under his knitting. If he were to really dig through why Drumknott being called ‘little’ bothered him so much though, Vimes eventually had to admit that it was a matter of personal offence. If they were going to insist that a five foot six man was ‘little’, what kind of judgement would they pass on a man shorter than that? A man who was five foot three, for instance, and, purely for demonstrative purposes, named Samuel Vimes. Yeah, no way in hell was a man three inches taller than him ‘little’. He’d kick anybody who said otherwise.

#discworld #discworld fic #sam vimes #rufus drumknott #heyyyyyy it's me back with 350 words of vimes projecting his height insecurity #anyway my actual concrete 'how tall is vimes' number has slipped from 5'4 to 5'3 now #5'3 is just a better number to me lol

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

downey/vetinari being married for like.tax reasons/you cant make us go to court against each other reasons and vimes finding out and having an anyeurism (side note i love your discworld stuff!!)

hahahahaha my favourite plot idea ever. I will always bless the person who first came up with it - glorious, we're all better for it.

I have gone and put it over on AO3 as I prefer the formatting there to the body of a tumblr post.

Title: orchid fatalis

Pairing: Downey/Vetinari; Vimes/Sybil

Characters: Vimes, Sybil, Vetinari, Downey (with a cameo from Drumknott)

Summary: What it says on the tin! Old marriage for tax reasons, Vimes has heart failure.

I hope you enjoy! :D

#discworld #lord downey #vetinari #vimes #discworld fic #the smallest compliment #I added it to that collection of drabbles and prompt responses #orchid fatalis #which is a midsomer murder reference - it's the episode with the prof who would be the love child of Downey adn Vetinari #she looks like Vetinari and has the love of plants of Downey - also Downey's casual approach to morality #ask #reply #writing #anon #downlock #downey x vetinari

[alynnl]

Hmmm, I'm curious about Discworld - Out of Commission!

This one is an old Discworld idea, centering around Ponder Stibbons, who is my favorite of the wizards. I actually wrote two different versions of it, but 2.0 is closer to my heart because it focused closer on the friendship between Ponder and the other wizardly oddball, Rincewind.

It's never been published but I did write a good chunk of it before getting distracted and putting it on the back burner. I might go back and finish it someday though.

Here's the summary I wrote for when it was supposed to be on AO3:

Ponder Stibbons, the most hardworking wizard in the Unseen University (and possibly the world) has hardly taken a day off. When he comes down with a fever, he has no choice but to get his bed rest. At first Ponder loathes his situation, until he spends time in Rincewind’s company.

Throughout the story, Rincewind does his best to take care of Ponder with the knowledge he has. But it's these two sharing company that really leads to Ponder's eventual recovery. I hadn't written the ending, but I had it clear in my mind.

Instead of returning to where he was before he got ill (running here, there and everywhere trying to run the Unseen University as we see him in Unseen Academicals) - Ponder returns to the High Energy Magic Building - and Hex - where he wants to be first in order to continue the research he chooses to do.

He asks Rincewind if he'll come with him, to which he ultimately says "yes" and it's the start of a deeper (still platonic) bond between these two, as well as a real research partnership that will be good for both of them.

Ridcully, the Librarian and some of the other wizards make cameos, but Ponder and Rincewind are at the front and center of this one.

#WIP asks #ask game #replied #Out of Commission #Discworld fic #one I think I might finish one day #given the right time and circumstances

[higgsbison]

A thing I've really grown to appreciate when writing Discworld stuff, is how the style's designed for you to mash together a random shower thought, a cool fact you know and the most obnoxious pun you could think of, and then just plop it straight into the middle of whatever actual plot you're going thru AND you also get to call it worldbuilding.

#discworld #my fic #ngl I took a little victory lap around the house fuelled by just how awful carpe diem or die by carp is #that's a fine groaner right there several friends would stop talking to me if I said it in a discord call

[lancrewizzard]

On one level, I get why people want Rincewind to finally do magic, especially in fanfic. The man's been through absolute hell multiple times, insulted, dismissed, underestimated, and generally used as the universe's chew toy. It only makes sense to want him to achieve his dreams.

But I can't emphasise enough how important it is, thematically and character-wise, for Rincewind to be inherently incapable of doing magic. In a way, he's the inverse of a wizard, in that it would be more accurate to say that magic uses him. One of the eight great spells used him as a portable spell book, he was a sort of grounding rod for excess magic in Sourcery, and he's a tool of the gods, which themselves need the magic weakened reality in order to exist on the Disc.

Rincewind's stories aren't about overcoming one's weaknesses or finding hidden strength. He's not a hero, he's just someone who happened to be there. Rincewind's stories are of survival, and it's important that that's all they're about. At their heart, these are books about a man who isn't that strong or smart or brave or good or special in any way, but he still survives situations that no one should ever have to face and helps others along the way.

Giving Rincewind magic makes him Special TM, and that stops him being special as a character. Discworld is full of inspirational heroes who chose to do the right thing, and so became important from their choices. Rincewind means more to me as a character, because when you're fighting physical and mental illness, surviving is often the only victory that matters.

#Rincewind is Important #I'm having thoughts and feelings and barely putting them into words #this discworld ramble brought to you by me wanting to write a little fic and my brain not cooperating #i'm having a time and rincey is my special little guy #and seeing people not understand his uselessness being part of what makes him such a special little guy makes me sad

[tossawary]

One of my favorite Discworld books is actually one of the more obscure ones, "Moving Pictures", which is about the invention of films and the movie business in this fantasy world that has dwarves and trolls and wizards and so on. It has its rough patches like every early Discworld book, but Ginger's speech about people who were born in the wrong time or wrong place for their dreams really gets to me in a good way, and I love all of the references to classic films and commentary on fame and creativity. It also has classic characters like Gaspode the Talking Dog and C.M.O.T. Dibbler, and it introduces Detritus's romance with another troll named Ruby.

Perhaps most importantly to me is that this book introduces Ponder Stibbons, who is a wizard, and who goes on in later books to be one of the most important members of the Unseen University (he holds like twelve different positions), in that he's one of the few people who can competently manage a project and so ends up managing nearly everything. (Bear with me, it's been a while since I read any Discworld and my memory is a little rough.) In "Moving Pictures", Ponder is the classmate (roommate?) of a fellow named Victor Tugelbend, who is one of the main characters.

Victor begins the book as a career student, in that a wealthy relative left him a great deal of money exclusively for school; so as long as he STAYS in school, all of his living expenses are paid for. If Victor graduates, that's the end of the money. If Victor drops out, that's the end of the money. But if Victor manages to hit a specific mark range in the 80s every year, then he gets to stay on for another year and try again, and so Victor is perhaps the most dedicated and knowledgeable wizardry student in the university's history, because you have to know what the right answer is in order to intentionally get a certain number of the questions wrong, so that you can continue to coast along on your college fund.

Ponder's graduation is (accidentally) Victor's fault, because Victor runs away to get into the movie business. (I won't spoil what happens, but it's VERY funny.) Now, I like to imagine after the events of the book, after Ponder holds a faculty position in the university, Victor comes BACK to the university occasionally as a disgustingly well-paid external consultant, which drives Ponder UP THE FUCKING WALL. Like, people are so stingy all of the time but SOMEHOW the university budget has room to bring your offensively handsome dropout roommate back just to say, "Hmm, yes, that looks bad. Have you tried turning it off and on again?" I'd throw a fit, honestly. (As soon as Ponder has enough seniority, he probably puts his foot down to stop this if Victor isn't actually useful. Maybe he is, idk, but maybe not for THAT consulting fee.)

I also like to imagine that Victor Tugelbend and Theda "Ginger" Withel are still together, maybe even still acting (badly? mediocre-ly? decently?) together, in some dingy little theatre (Ginger is the director and runs their acting troupe like a tyrant) where the front seats are regularly filled with middle-aged folks who still sigh over the memories of moving pictures. (Moving pictures are now, presumably, VERY illegal in Ankh Morpork.) Victor and Ginger have only because even more attractive as they've gotten older, which is EVEN MORE OFFENSIVE to poor Ponder because his former movie star former roommate is married to another gorgeous former movie star?! I'd throw another fit.

Anyway, I think Ponder deserves to have an affair with a pair of aging former movie stars. I like to imagine this purely because I think it's funny. He seems kind of busy for marriage, so joining someone else's marriage part-time might be good for him. It probably makes most of the rest of the Unseen University faculty breathlessly envious and that really does it for him.

And I think that this affair would OF COURSE be covered by every newspaper and tabloid in the city, including The Times, and William de Worde and Sacharissa Cripslock don't fully understand why their entertainment reporter is so breathlessly excited about people who were famous over a decade ago? (Supermarket tabloids love to tell me about alleged affairs of people who were famous 20+ years ago.) The article on Victor Maraschino and Delores De Syn's failing marriage* is their bestselling newspaper in months and William puts his head down on his desk in despair. (He's fine. This happens on a weekly at least basis. He just needs a minute.)

*Victor and Ginger are very happy with this situation, actually. They're going to take Ponder to dinner to go on a double date with Ruby and Detritus soon. Victor and Ponder are going to get distracted arguing about some of the Inadvisably Applied Magic research projects, but that's fine, because Ginger wants to talk to Ruby about this one-troll-woman-show concept. (Detritus will proudly hand out tickets at the Watch station and accidentally intimidate all of his coworkers into accepting the invitation.)

#tossawary discworld #fic ideas #spoilers #long post

[zagreuses-art]

Chapter 1: Putting the commander to bed (also posted here on AO3)

I am starting a series of sketches based on scenes from "Putting the Commander to Bed" by Judin on AO3, which is a fantastic fic that I have been rotating in my head since I first read it. I hope to do one for each chapter, and maybe a full illustration for my favorite chapter. We'll see how it goes!

[ID: a pencil sketch that had been digitally colored showing Vetinari leaning over a sleeping Vimes and resting a hand on his neck. Vetinari sits on the edge of the bed, Vimes is turned away from him and looks troubled, the room is in shades of blue with highlights of orange from the light coming in from a crack under the door. Vimes's armor is discarded on the floor. End ID]

#discworld #vimes #samuel vimes #vetinari #havelock vetinari #vetvimes #putting the commander to bed #its really an outstanding fic #extremely tight watch style plot as well as a great romance plot #mind the tags tho it is kinky so if thats not your thing dont go in blind #my art #digital art #traditional art #sometimes you just need to be gently steangled to sleep by your boss #you know how it is

[apuckishwit]

See, it's a METAPHOR

A preview of Chapter 31 of Rolled a 1 on the Check, Rolled a 20 on the Save by APuckish_Wit on A03

The boys are acting weird.

Not bad weird or anything. He doesn’t think that anything’s wrong per se. They’re just super giggly and clearly are having private conversations in their Discord messages that they’re not letting him in on. Like…way more private conversations than they usually do during a gaming session.

It's their last gaming session before a two-week hiatus so he can attend Origins (and take a little side trip to Chicago to meet the man of his—increasingly explicit—dreams face to face for the first time and hopefully sweep him off his feet with his epic love confession), and he’s been planning an epic cliffhanger for the last month. He just needs to get Will or maybe Dustin to take the bait and convince the others to investigate the Upside Down version of the mysterious Apothecary Brenner’s estate. Ordinarily he wouldn’t care too much, besides being a little miffed that they aren’t giving his masterful storytelling its proper attention…but Steve’s acting weird, too.

He has been for the last couple weeks, honestly. Again, not so much a bad weird. He’s just been quieter than usual. Distracted, almost. Eddie kind of feels like Steve is only half paying attention to their conversations lately, but when he asks about it, Steve just says he’s fine. Has something on his mind that he’s trying to work out. Eddie tries not to be saddened that Steve hasn’t asked for his help or opinion…Steve’s his friend, not his significant other (no matter how much Eddie’s hoping, praying, and fantasizing that that might be different soon) and if Steve doesn’t want to talk about what’s bothering him, he doesn’t have to.

He tries not to let the weirdness get to him, and in the end it’s actually Lucas who takes the bait and convinces them to check out the apothecary in case there are any healing potions or herbs that could be useful. The boys howl in delighted outrage when Eddie springs his trap—dozens of the sentient vines that have been harrying the party bursting from the floor and walls of the apothecary as soon as they start searching the building and ensnaring Xerxes, Will the Wise, and Sir Stephen as loud, ominous footsteps descend from the building’s upper floor.

“And that, unfortunately, is where we’re going to have to leave it for the next two weeks,” Eddie announces gleefully, eliciting more howls and bright laughter from the boys. “I do thank everyone for joining us tonight, and don’t forget to check out my Twitch and YouTube channels for live streaming events from Origins next week! I’ve got a great panel planned and a few announcements about future projects!” For some reason, that sets off more laughter from Dustin before he quickly mutes his mic, and the boys all sign off much more quickly than usual, until it’s just him and Steve in the Discord.

“You excited for the convention?” Steve asks. In the background, Eddie can here pots and pans being moved, the clink of dishes and running water. He closes his eyes for just a moment, pretending that he’s right there with Steve, the two of them debriefing their day together over the remains of a nice dinner. God, what is his life that he’s fantasizing about clearing away dirty dishes?

It would be worth a fantasy if it was with Steve, though.

“So be honest—scale of one to ten, how fucked are we when whatever it is gets down those stairs?” Steve asks, and Eddie lets out a short bark of laughter.

“Eh, I’m not saying I’ll definitely get my first character kill in…but you might want to have a backup ready.”

“Already done.”

“Is it a human paladin named Stephano?”

“No,” Steve replies in mock-offense. “It’s a human barbarian named Stefan. Totally different.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Eddie says, so much fondness coloring his tone he was sure someone looking at him would be able to see cartoon hearts circling his head. “Dustin will hate it.”

“You say that like it’s not my main motivation.”

Eddie laughs again, gathering his laptop up and heading out into the living room. Gandalf is waiting at the door to his recording room, immediately winding around his ankles as he makes his way over to the couch. A copy of Men at Arms he’d gotten from the local library is lying on the arm of the couch, face-down and open to the page they’d left off on a couple days ago. “You up for more of Sam tonight? We’re getting to the thrilling finale.”

“It’s his wedding—how much more chaos can there be?”

“Oh, Stevie, Stevie, Stevie—haven’t you been paying attention? There’s always more chaos in Discworld.”

“Hah, true. But, um—he and Sybil get a happy ending, right?”

Eddie tilts his head, curious at the sudden shift in Steve’s tone. He sounds almost…tentative. “I mean—do you want spoilers?”

“Maybe? Shut up, I know it’s stupid. I’m just…rooting for them. They’re so different, but they really love each other.”

Eddie can feel the soft, goofy smile splitting his face. “That they do. And yeah, I promise, they get a happy ending. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not perfect. Sam gets caught up in his work…kind of a lot now that I’m thinking about it. But they always make it work. Sir Terry wasn’t real big on fairy-tale perfection. His storytelling is so real. Sam and Lady Sybil…they have problems and challenges, but they just keep, I dunno, choosing each other? No matter what. So the differences don’t matter in the end, and the mistakes can be forgiven.”

Steve is quiet for a moment. “Choosing each other. I really like that.”

Gandalf leaps up on Eddie’s lap, and he absently scratches behind the cat’s ears. “Yeah,” he says softly. “Yeah, me too.”

#steddie #steddie fic #steve x eddie #stranger things #stranger things fic #rolled a 1 on the check rolled a 20 on the save #fic preview #steve harrington #eddie munson #Discworld as a love language

[blackboard-monitor]

personally i will never ever read (let alone write) discworld fanfic, because to me pterry's work has always perfect and untouchable in a way that to interfere with it in any way would be sacrilege

#absolutely no hate to any discworld fic authors #i recognise this is not necessarily an ideal way to relate to literature #but it's just how i feel #incidentally this is also why i've not seen series 2 of good omens #mine #terry pratchett #discworld #fanfiction

[adverbian]

The Crowley/Leonardo da Vinci fic idea has expanded into an actual plot, sort of, hung around the conspiracy to assassinate Lorenzo de Medici (Easter Sunday, April 26, 1478).

I’m diving into in April Blood: Florence and the Plot Against the Medici by Lauro Martines, concurrently with what I was already reading, Leonardo da Vinci by Walter Isaacson.

Y’all, if I pull this off, the endnotes are going to be unreal. There will be so much excited information.

I have actually outlined a plot for the first time in my life. Well, since last September, when I started writing fanfiction.

It isn’t much of a plot, mind you. But just the fact that I outlined it at all.

Also, like, the Medicis have a whole different interest level to them now that I recognize some of the Discworld source material. There’s a reason Vetinari is a pun on Medici. And We Can Rule You Wholesale could very easily have been the anthem of the Republic of Florence under the Medici, who were bankers and really did own everyone.

#my fic writing #good omens #discworld

[skyriderwednesday]

"What do you think of me growing baby marrows?" Sybil asked.

"You can grow whatever you want, love," said Vimes.

"No, I want to know if you like them. They can be quite prolific."

"I don't know if I've ever had baby marrows, Syb."

"Don't you? Havelock calls them courgette."

He shook his head. "Doesn't ring a bell."

"Oh well, I'll put them on the list anyway. They're an easy vegetable to grow."

Vimes, there is a lot of courgette in your future.

Sybil that's about twelve understatements.

#discworld #discworld fic #fic excerpts #see in the 'vetinari peels an orange and intimidates a dodgy merchant' one #a.k.a. oranges and glass houses #i mentioned that sybil was growing peas #and so-- #allotment fic

[des-fangirl]

!!!!!!! THIS?? recommend this vetvimes fic to you DEFENITELY now let me scream under the cut-

i like how the fic is written, also author gets points for *'s being right under the lines it refers to (I've seen them being placed in the very end of fic, this way is cooler ty)

aaaa all this might sound awkward but I. WAS LITERALLY GIGGLING & KICKING MY FEET JUST NOW. ALSO SHAKING MY HANDS IN AIR. AND PLAYING WITH MY LITTLE DRAGON TOY AND HUGGING MY PLUSH SNORLAX and if i did all that while reading ONE fic it means that fic was GOOD!! and i wanted to share this hphpah

ABOUT VIMES!!! HIS REPRESSED (GAY) THOUGHTS!! GOSH i love this so much it was good to read AND UGH MY STUPID OLD MAN YOU'RE HURTING PEOPLE AROUND YOU BY IGNORING SOMETHING YOU CANT QUITE UNDERSTAND, i know staying the same is easier and he's used to ignoring this Silent part of him by now, but i really hope he gets to change in the next chapters, if they are planned!!

also (i hope i got it right) @magpiesketchins is the author? SORRY FOR TAGGING YOU AA i hope this post with me screaming will make you happy pff- 

#fanfic #vetvimes #my face is BURNING this fic made me feel. so many things #des-shitpost #discworld #don't wanna tag it too much #even tho it's kinda a recommendation and i WANT more people to read this fic #my blablablahs are...apsnwbwhwj #(( #I DESPERATELY NEED TO SHARE MY FEELINGS & LOVE OK!! #also magpiesketchins #so you started reading the series at the start of January and now it's you personality (read this in your tags lol srry) #WHY ARE WE SO ALIKE??/POS #<]] #that's it im tired im done talking #weee

[old-stoneface]

i have written and released a new vetvimes fanfiction. i wanted to explore vetvimes through romantic violence instead of sappy romance. this one is markedly more complex than the last two, and it was extremely enjoyable writing in third person omniscient instead of limited :)

#i think this is my best one yet. so. hope you like it! #the idea behind it is like....what if vv actually physically fought each other #and shoutout to cal for giving this puppy a once-over for me xoxo #my fics #sam.txt #vv #discworld #vetvimes #discworld fanfiction

[higgsbison]

Hahaa what if I told you I went sicko mode after realizing Dracula Daily is happening again and started writing the very obvious Discworld paralel in roughly the same style.

#discworld #havelock vetinari #lord vetinari #lady margolotta #the picture is symbolic they have not met its just a grad student complaining for 1000 words rn #my fic #my art #paprika hendel is not directly mentioned but vaguely alluded to

[evilphrog]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Discworld - Terry Pratchett Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Nobby Nobbs & Havelock Vetinari Characters: Havelock Vetinari, Nobby Nobbs Additional Tags: The People's Revolution of the Glorious Twenty-Fifth of May, Book: Night Watch (Discworld), Blood, Unlikely Friendships, Nobby is the most underrated character of all time, Canon Compliant, Crack Treated Seriously Summary:

I set out to make a brief crackfic based on this tumblr post about how Nobby and Vetinari probably knew each other as children. It ended up being far more sincere than anything with that premise has any right to be.

You can all blame @cakesandfail for this one.  I wrote it all in an hour because I couldn’t stop thinking about Nobby and Vetinari as childhood friends coworkers

#discworld #havelock vetinari #nobby nobbs #night watch #the glorious 25th of may #my fic

[magpiesketchins]

New fic!

Gen rated, set post Going Postal, just over 3k words.

Moist Von Lipwig meets Sam Vimes for the first time face to face, they get to know each other a little better. Bastard recognises bastard.

Basically a self induldent double character study that I hope you all enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing. Vimes had some fun lines in this one 👀

#Discworld #discworld fanfic #moist von lipwig #sam vimes #going postal #gnu terry pratchett #my fic