#doing what is right isn't always easy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

scintillyyy · 2 months

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can you really talk about tim's tendency to idolize and place dick on a pedestal and his semi-entitlement to understanding dick without also talking about dick's tendency to project his own feelings and insecurities onto tim and also his semi-entitlement to his right to try and micromanage how tim should feel and react about things. i, personally, cannot.

#dick and tim #anyways trust me when i say that none of this is meant in a negative way because this is what i Like about them lmao #forever thinking of the M/F fight where dick expects that tim will go alone with his line of thinking just because he says so #and is shocked when tim doesn't and instead has his own thoughts and feelings abt the matter #and babs has to tell him that tim isn't him & had a fundamentally different experience to him #it's like hmmm very realistic to me #the way they do this to each other in a way that almost is depersonalizing but like isn't actually #it's more just that they understand each other so well most of the time that it's easy to forget that they're their own person #with their own thoughts and feelings #like hm. there is something very realistically siblings about it in that #older siblings do tend to try and dominate the relationship with their thoughts and feelings because #their first memories are of being expected to lead their sibling and the sibling usually comes at a time when the older sib is v possessive #so the older sibling conceives the younger sibling as belonging to them and being kind of a hm extension of them vs their own person #meanwhile the younger sibling has no knowledge of a life where the older sibling doesn't exist #and the younger sibling's experience is that of observation of the older sibling from basically the very first day of life #so the younger sibling will often see and perceive the older sibling in very interesting ways #they're always learning something with thay observation good or bad #and thus probably develop more instrinsic understanding than even the parents do #and conflict comes because each is their own person but it's hard to see them that way sometimes #anyways there's also another thread where for dick it's hard to conceptualize tim's family of origin as real compared to them #but that's like mainly headcanon just know i'm right and it's interesting

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dont-offend-the-bees · 7 months

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Shit bro first hormone appointment in two days hold my hand

#am excited and scared #idk how honest i should be really #and idk what the guy's like #and I'm excited from a personal standpoint (holy shit yes hormones finally)#but scared/worried from a yknow. societal standpoint.#doing this in 2023 on terf island probably isn't the best move #and idk it's kinda daunting when i could write a laundry list of cons #and the pros list basically just amounts to 'makes me happy c:'#but like. i guess that's transition in a nutshell right?#we don't do this shit bc it's easy #if i could be content with the easy option (i.e. present as cis)#i would do that #bc i fucking hate expending any effort for anything abjsjdjfjdjjsd #aaaaaaa. two days to go.#might all be moot ig. they might reject me out of hand #and if they don't there's a good chance they'll reject me at the second appointment bc of my health #but yeah excited and scared is how I'd put it #but i simply don't think I'll ever know for certain that this is what i need until i try it #because i can second guess/talk myself out of ANYTHING. no joke.#and I'm soooo fucking. tired of being that bitch who's always waiting for shit to happen.#or waiting for the perfect time or whatever #waiting and thinking and waiting and thinking it's all i dooooooo #i need to get out of my fucking head #and i need to do fucking Something that deters perfect strangers from clocking me as female within seconds of knowing me #despite how fucking bewildering that feels to me as like. a soft masc presenting individual. who really doesn't get where they got that from #anyway its not with the gic but it is on the nhs #it's an appt with a local endocrinologist #so if anyone else has been prescribed hormones that way and has any advice/insight on how this appointment might play out dm me lmao #mr. bees speaks

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carefulfears · 10 months

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and the fact that mulder cries a lot makes me want to cuddle him forever 😭😭

everything is so hard for him all of the time!! i love him.

#i love that he cries on screen so much #it means so much in terms of characterization of male heroes that i'm too tired to get into right now #but i also think of when my friend ali talked about how like...what a show of vulnerability it is #in those moments he isn't the invincible protagonist who always charges forward and always makes it out #he's traumatized and he's SENSITIVE and things do not come easy to him. he's afraid. he's lonely.#that ending shot of reduxes just knocks me breathless every time because that IS what it feels like.#that IS what success or barely making it through or 'the best news ever' feels like sometimes #earlier in the ep when he comes to scully's room and she's asleep and he just SOBS next to her. trying to muffle his cries in his hand #so he doesnt wake her. and the next day he's like :) oh i stopped by last night :) didn't want to disturb you :)#it's like actually haunting. and there is no part of THAT that is a heroic crusader.#when everything is 'okay' in the end and everyone is in the room RIGHT BEHIND HIM celebrating and he cries again...god.#it's like the tags i referenced yesterday talked about. it just all hits him at the same time.#there is never any respite on this show even when there's a miracle

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em-dashes · 9 months

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now that suddence is out to betas i'm oscillating between getting more and more self conscious and overthinking about everything that might be wrong with the story vs. knowing that is literally THE POINT of betas and i can't in good conscience let my story slide out into the world with a bunch of faults i didn't catch simply because i was too close to it

#em dashes #DON'T GO EASY ON ME I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING #i just need all my betas to know that I KNOW my story isn't perfect in its current state and that's exactly why it's out for critiques #i think there's always some part of you that wishes the critiques will come back squeaky clean. no notes! absolute perfection!#bc then you'd feel proud! you'd feel like you know what you're doing! like you're a PRO!!#however i gotta remind myself that not even professional writers can crank out perfect stories right away #they all have editors and peer critiques to help them #and i have to be careful about equating critiques as personal failures #because they aren't!! they're there to help!!!#anyway. enough venting for now #it's been a while since i got peer critiques so it's a little unnerving lol #but also also i just saw a very good breakdown of an episode of buffy that deals with grief #and i couldn't help comparing it to suddence which also deals with grief #and thinking 'wow. why didn't i do this. why didn't i do that. am i doing this all wrong'#AHH! writing is a very scary profession sometimes #but to be proud of myself for a second #i've never been so confident as to even show so many people my writing. let alone to receive critique on it #it's so strange to think there was a time where i kept all my writing bottled up and didn't talk about it to anyone even on tumblr #i began posting in 2018. that's not that long ago. that's only five years #and yet it feels like a billion years ago. i was still in university. suddence didn't even exist yet #wow. time is so weird

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hollowflight-propaganda · 3 months

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Me: has my sixth sudden crying spell of the week

Also me: "yeah but I'm probably not ACTUALLY depressed"

#gonna be honest boys. I have been feeling like dogshit #started with me having a good ol' existential spiral at 4 am a week ago and now I don't even know what's bothering me #and then there's all of the bad stuff going on making me anxious for myself and everybody on top of everything #all the abhorrent transphobia has been making me feel worried for the future #(as if the passing of time doesn't already horribly scare me but I digress)#idk man. I already feel like I'm unequipped for the future because I've realized I never thought I'd still be alive right now #majority of my childhood was filled with adults preaching at me to think about where I'd be going in the afterlife so I did just that #that plus they were the type to believe that the rapture is soon cause “the signs are all coming true”#so I always thought that either that would happen or I'd die before now #well. I'm still here and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.#and I'm lonely. really fucking lonely and I'm going mad cause of it #never had actual friends besides the kids I was with at my old private school. now they're all raging conservatives who mock minorities #I was able to get away but moving on isn't as easy as I hoped #it'd be so much easier to betray all my beliefs and act ignorant again so I can have my friends back #but of course I can't do that. I can't throw out who I am and all of the wonderful people I know who would be “sinful” in their eyes #idk man. I think I've finally reached the breakdown I've been feeling coming for the past two years #fuck. sorry for this trauma dump of a post. I've just felt numb for months and now everything's catching up to me #needed to yell about it I guess #vent #phoenix prattles

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etoilesombre · 2 years

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I really appreciate that one of Fetch’s main motivations is feeling important and special. I think we often focus on characters wanting love, or safety, or power. What Fetch wants is to be the main character.

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majimassqueaktoy · 2 years

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Will never get over Majima going back to the Tojo clan after finally breaking free 20+ years later just because Kiryu asked him to. Like... The loyalty. The love. Majima does have a good heart underneath it all. That doesn't negate that he's done bad things. That he's harsh and cruel and brusque... But he's does love genuinely. Too genuinely I think.

#See that's the funny thing about Majima like I'm not trying to woobify him but it actually would be so easy to lmao #like he's much more interesting to Not Do That #but fundamentally he doesn't fuck with civilians unless they fuck around first that is #He has strong moral stance around woman and kids generally...#He's an environmentalist #shjsadhjajfks sorry the environmentalism will always get me #He will knife attack you but like 🥰 its such a pretty knife #anyway- what I mean by too genuinely and its something I relate to is:#He will give someone he cares about the shirt off his back- would die for em... but like look where its got him.#Kiryu asking that was not right plainly. And I dont blame Kiryu fully- he doesn't actually know too much of Majimas story but he does know #that Majima's strong and trustworthy and decently moral compared to many others of their ilk- if majima said Kiryu i hate this i cant do it #Kiryu would not expect him to stay. The issue is that Kiryu doesnt realize Majima wont ever say that #He'll swallow lead and suck it up and fundamentally thats so goddamn sad #And again this isn't against Kiryu bc I know Kiryu's heart is good its just that Majima's is too #Kiryu is an idealist in a lot of ways. Majima's the realist that picks up the pieces.

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thriev · 1 year

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i think one of caroline's big conflicts has always been about the lines she'd cross for her friends. how she'll call herself a 'good' vampire who is above slaughter and creating victims out of people for fun, but how at the end of the day there isn't much she wouldn't do if one of her friends's lives were at stake. and having it be about her friends is good and well but i decided to give her an extra layer of angst by making it about her instead. by having her kill damon i gave her an extra thing to worry about because now caroline knows she'd kill for her own survival, and she has killed for her own survival, and this was before she became a vampire. which means she was always capable of it, even when she was nothing but a harmless human girl. and idk! i just think it's tasty. it's interesting. i think it's always been a constant battle, for caroline, to be a good person. it's a constant effort, and she can't really afford to even slip up once, and i think it'd just be fun to explore all that.

#out.#sometimes care's made out to be this paragon of vampirism. like it's vampirism done right #and i argue that it's just vampirism done good. but not necessarilly vampirism done /right/#bc vampires are meant to be killers. they're meant to Eat. they're meant to outlive everything and everyone #so in a sense sometimes klaus has it right i think LFJSG just going apeshit all the time and ruining everyone's lives (including his own)#i think that's what vampires were made for.#caroline actively challenges that. Constantly. because she keeps reinforcing that all that behaviour is a /choice/ at the end of the day #and she's right!!!!!! (ripperism aside?) it Is always a choice. vampires just usually always make the easier one #caroline's had a life of making hard choices though. not hard as in morally ethically difficult but as in. personally #she has to try very hard to be kind. to be caring. she's always been passionate but she has to learn to channel it correctly #over the years it gets easier. it becomes more ingrained. but at first a bitch was really struggling #so. u know. making hard choices. doing the challenging thing instead of the easy thing? caroline's an expert <3 #all THAT to say her real battle isn't really with her humanity vs her vampirism #it's about the uglier side of her humanity that she's always tried to keep hidden vs the 'good' side of her that she's trying to preserve #i think about that line in the show a lot where tyler(?) says to caroline 'i guess they just expect better from you'#and care going 'what? like it's easy for me?'#bc it's not!!! it's hard!!! but it looks so easy everyone assumes it is like. baby girl's struggling Believe me

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giantkillerjack · 1 year

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Junji Ito makeup test #1

OR

Figuring out what I need in order to create a music video parody of the song "Gloria" by Laura Branigan, but make it about Tomie. I will be playing the part of a 1980s pop disco singer in the style of Junji Ito. This is high art in progress, people! 😘😂😅

photos of first test:

additional digital notes made using Clip Studio:

main takeaways:

So first off, where the fuck did my stage makeup go??? I had no idea it was missing until today!! I ended up using the makeup from when I used to perform as a mime. (Not a joke, but in a larger, cosmic sense, kind of a joke. 😆 I'll probably do it again sometime. I was adorable as a little soft butch gay mime!)

I now remember why I stopped using the dry cake face paint and switched to wet paint in a tube BUT I CANNOT FIND THE TUBESSS

I'm out of eyeliner in general, but for this, I need some kind of extra thin/fine eyeliner and preferably more than a thimble-full of paint for it.

Maybe I can thin out some matte black face paint and also get like a really nice fine brush? I guess it depends on if the paint is water-soluble.

I should probably check to see if I already have these materials, which would be SO MUCH EASIER IF I COULD FIND MY FUCKING STAGE MAKEUP--

Either way the lines need to be super thin, straight, clean, and parallel to each other. Or I could look at the rougher cross-hatching Ito sometimes uses, but I suspect tidier lines will look best with makeup.

Luckily, I already have an entire burlesque/drag act where I make myself look like a character from a black and white film. Between that and the mime thing, I theoretically have all the white gloves I will ever need lol. I guess I'm going to need white leggings, since the light gray ones won't work for this. Junji Ito is not generally greyscale as much as literally black and white.

Do I own makeup primer? I feel like yes. It definitely sounds like a good idea.

I KNOW FOR A FACT I DIDN'T THROW OUT MY STAGE MAKEUP because I had quality skin-safe glitter in basically every color, and only a FOOL would throw that out!!!!

Gloria is a song from 1983 with disco balls in the music video. Do I want to incorporate more style choices from 1983? Should I buy a wig? Something with shoulder pads maybe?? I guess that means I can keep the thick eyebrows...

Actually upon further research, I do need a sequinned shirt for this. Possibly a sequin leotard with a shiny belt. And leg warmers. OH! And a jacket with just the biggest shoulder pads I can find! Or at least the closest thing I can find to this outfit in one trip to a thrift store

Every 1980s music videos seems to have a person with their hair and clothing flowing in the wind. Now, I could buy a fan. But much funnier and cheaper would be a shot of my hair blowing in the wind that then pans to a friend furiously fanning me with a piece of cardboard or something. (Which means I'd need either two people helping with this shot, or I just have to accept that the shot's going to look kind of blurry by doing the zoom-out in post. Oh gods, I would have to write a proper shot list ahhhhhh--)

Honestly, blurry footage seems fine in some parts. I'm probably going to add some dreamy soft filters anyway to make it look like pre-digital 35mm film from an 80s vid.

I'm going to need some fake blood to splatter at me in the middle of the video. Obviously. So I guess that bit will need to be filmed outside.

The good news is the fact that the nearest easiest filming location for me is a alley full of dumpsters is actually really appropriate for this video. XD

Should I do the distressed eyebrows that a lot of Junji Ito characters have? Note to try that in the next test along with a The Crow-like smile. (My go-to high school Halloween costume. Damn, I have been painting my already pasty-pale face even whiter for a while now! 😅)

Other progress made on this project today:

I recorded myself singing a voice memo along to the rhythm of the karaoke version of Gloria that's on YouTube, but in it, I'm singing in the key that is appropriate to my voice. (A couple half-steps down, I think.)

Next step will be to load that clip onto my computer and adjust the karaoke version to match its pitch. And then like, practice the song with my new personalized backing track.

If i actually finish this, I'll have to re-record the backup vocals to say the right name.

Also the next step will be to see if my interest in this lasts long enough to at least get me to find my frickin' stage makeup.

Additional notes:

The original music video for Holding Out for a Hero is exactly the right energy for this, and now I absolutely need shots of me in front of (badly green-screened) flames, on my knees while singing passionately and directly at the camera and presumably wearing kneepads tbh

Omg what if I included a little "photoshoot" sequence and really fucked with the photos to make them all blurry-body-horror nasty as they flash by real quick?? Get like, a glitch effect in the mix hell yeah 😎😎😎

Edit: Omg i just remembered I have these short-shorts with a reanimator quote on the ass! ("Blasphemy? Before what god?") i know what shorts to wear for this now!!

Oh! Another idea! What if the video starts with me reading Tomie and then closing the book and picking up the nearest microphone-shaped thing and using that to start singing - and every 30 seconds or so of footage, it quietly changes to a different item (one of which is absolute the black wand vibrator that I have XD)

Note: I can easily shorten the song if I only have funny shots planned for like 2/3 of the song length. No need to get too repetitive.

#original #I lost over half of my belongings due to bedbugs a couple years ago and I'm still extremely bitter about it so I really hope that #i am right that i kept the makeup. it was precious to me i would have kept it. still so bitter about losing my sewing machine and my guitar #and all my lovely nail polish and all my kitchen appliances and my organizational systems. bottom line is i deserve 1000 presents #and that bedbugs are the scariest creature on the fucking planet. and that i WANT. MY MAKEUP. but i am 99% i have it somewhere still #my character as a mime is a lot like Wes from DST but i hadn't played that game yet at the time. like a very soft harpo marx.#always wrong place wrong time and overenthusiastic in silly soft-hearted ways. their name is JJ Juniper.#tomie Kawakami #tomie #like I want to be completely clear I am a literal clown XD and this video project is very much clown shit and that is on purpose 😅#the inspiration for this project came from the fact that the names Gloria and Tomie have the same rhythm. and that's basically it.#what's it like being a genius you ask? well I would say it isn't easy except it absolutely is incredibly easy XD #if I finish this project it will be like all of my other junji Ito fan work.#which is to say it will be an EXTREMELY detailed and lovingly crafted shit post that takes many dozens of hours to finish #so that's good.#image descriptions #at the very least I found my regular makeup. which is very much also for performing but contains less glitter and face paint #for the raised eyebrow line - what do drag queens use for that?#by the way I absolutely do not have all the white gloves I'll ever need bc nothing in this world stains faster #than a cheap white glove on a clumsy man! but that is okay they are incredibly cheap #OMG if I use my cane to dance in this video I should bedazzle it! also in general I wouldn't mind having a bedazzled cane

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noxtivagus · 1 year

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i get distracted so easily but i promise i'll get more done ! eventually aaaa 🫶🏼

#🌙.rambles #i find it so amusing how wnvr i have a new interest i always get into it so deeply #a week ago i listened to sm architects songs n searched up sm lyrics n read articles too n now this week it's #switched to the 1975 n i'm listening to sm of their songs too n reading even more articles n watching stuff n YEAH N #oh dear. i shld be doing my assignments due like 24 hours from now n they're easy n i'm nearly done #that's the thing i'm srs nearly done but i keep on getting distracted 😭 n then other stuff too i wna do but forget hflkasdjfd #can't blame me though bcs isn't there just so much to life? n other than all these responsibilities n. survival i suppose. in this society #i just want to live n. learn everything. understand as much as i can and be understood.#be at peace w all the contradictions in life.. 'always' is never possible but i do know i'll endlessly keep on going on until my end #sorry. that doesn't really make sense i just contradicted myself 💀 theres rlly just sm n. it's weird bcs.. i've rlly known extremes so well #like w apollo i have a twin i know how it is to have. such a deep and close relationship with another person. we're like #familial soulmates fr so ik how to direct my energy so.. yk yeah so IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN BUT #maybe a better comparison is. yk when i love something i'm super passionate about it. obvious i have phases here n then but #i have. a wide range of interests but. arghhh no not quite that as well. so.. the range n that intensity? coexisting?#n it's overwhelming often bcs it's too much. n in the past trying to do more than i could rlly drained me like. sm at the same time #but then yk that time for me where i mostly just played ffxiv. uh. help i don't know how to say it n then i forgot what i was gna write #ah. it's just a lot. i really can't write it enough. such is one of the limits of being human #but.. the strong thought i have of how these stuff make more important things more meaningful is just #at the same time there's. another thought that battles it w a similar intensity. n i feel too deeply i think too much of it #but if you were to ask me how i was doing right now i'd say. perhaps stressed yes but i'm doing alright right now. actually maybe not #HELP NO I'M NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE I'M CONFUSING MYSELF W MY OWN WORDS 😭 dw tho i am fine just rather frustrated with time #i want to do so much but yk i have these priorities that i need to do.. i mean. not really 'need'. but.#ah i just love thinking of how life is in relation to society n its people n then w. i forgot how to say it.. but yk. just the universe #it's so heavy thinking about these heavy things so often. the intense desire to understand n be understood..#to learn and to be learned. or maybe these songs r making me think of how. there's just so much. in life n death n everything #there's so much i don't know n again n again i keep on saying that while there's so much i don't know in every single aspect #there's.. people that r specifically one of my greatest weaknesses w just how unpredictable we are. i love it though but at the same time #it's uh. yeah. thinking of time n the past n present n future n how it's filled with so much is something that i want to #i want to take all of it in but it's also so overwhelming n i'm just at odds with my own self rn but i'm fine #words aren't enough honestly. but i want to convey it somehow. so i'll do what is right for me. in time.

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blujayonthewing · 1 year

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I JUST wanted to do some rp doodles someone stop me from rabbitholing on worldbuilding functional architecture and interior design in a world where roughly half the common population are between three and five feet tall

#I've thought about this a LOT in passing like... just in general like #halflings and dwarves are common enough in most dnd settings that the world would HAVE to be accessible to them #it doesn't make sense that it wouldn't! like it's easy to be like 'oh this [dwarvish/ halfling/ elvish] settlement is sized for that race'#but in the campaigns I'm in any place that isn't A Dwarven Stronghold or A Gnomish Village or whatever is always very mixed race #SO-- how are public places constructed to accommodate? how are bar and shop counters constructed for people to do business over them?#it's very easy to handwave inns because a small person can fit in a medium sized bed very easily but #would inns offer some smaller rooms with smaller beds to get the most possible money out of their building's space?#anyway all I wanted/ needed right now is 'how high is a bar' and 'if aubree's standing on something how high would that put her'#but now I wanna know exactly what she's standing on gjfhkjgfd #like ideally STEPS but you wouldn't want steps extending out too far where taller people are trying to stand or sit ??#are there fold-down stepladders built into the bar? is there just one dedicated spot for smallfolk to order if they don't wanna sit down?#HMMMM #about me #my art #dnd #my ocs #aubree

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time-teller · 1 year

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vent

#vent #don't think i have seasonal depression but i hate the end of the school year being during spring #because then i have to think about the fact that i'm not even close to graduating #it took me 3 years to finish core classes because i kept failing and having to retake some due to procrastination that i feel is controllab #le but probably isn't and i think i have an underlying issue but i don't have a diagnosis. and i don't think i'm getting one anytime soon #because my sister is going to college next school year and our family is going to be short on spending money #and i feel guilty that it feels like im wasting my parent's money #whenever we visit family they always ask when i'm graduating and next year will be my fourth year but i'm not and i feel like a fucking #fool. and yes i see a lot of posts about college positivity and that it's a marathon not a race and that it takes everyone different #amounts of time to graduate but it does nothing if it feels like im wasting it all away over something i can easily control but what if #it's not that easy to control? i need a psychiatrist but the last time i tried to get an appointment they put me on a 6 week wait list that #i never heard from besides one call asking if i still wanted to be on it #and i can't go to my previous doctor anymore because i'm 21 now and have to go to the one my parents use #previous doctor told me i seem fine and didn't have anything wrong with me #and i feel like she's right #but this excessive procrastination didn't start until high school and where did everything go so wrong? why can't i complete school work in #a timely manner anymore? i was able to do it just fine in my first semester but ever since i went on a 2 day vacation it's all been downhil #and i can't seem to recreate the success of getting A's and B's that semester again

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darklight-owl · 1 month

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So what does Ochette look like in your furry AU?

Honestly? I've been thinking of being super self indulgent and making beastlings giant insects. Or arthropods in general. Spider Ochette is not off the table. Cus like it would still have that "divide" between them and vertebrates (who would be the equivalent to humans in this case) while still keeping them as animals who are seen as lesser.

(Insect and spider pictures under the cut just in case)

As for Ochette I was thinking of making her a tiger moth:

Because they have this thing where they disrupt bat echolocation as self defense which I thought was fitting for her since she's the only person in the village who knows how to fight it seems. Also weirdly makes sense with the monster capturing mechanic.

But then I thought like a carnivore would obviously suit her way more. So that's why I was thinking letting her be a spider. Wasps were another really good option but Wasp Lore (tm) can be really fucked up. And while I love them with all my heart and find them cool as Hell Ochette is not that edgy. And mantises are more about lying in wait than actively chasing prey down. Maybe I'll let Juvah be a mantis.

Anyway look at these jumping spiders!

I think I'm gonna end up going with Spider Ochette tbh. The color palette is pretty good and the name pun is impeccable. So. Arthropod beastlings it is :3

#i ended up having to make my own lore for this lmaoo this always happens #i'll find some way to implement the ears into the design lol. the tail is easy that can just be the abdomen.#anyway what do i do about the animals tho??? i think i can just have anthros and regular animals right- like this isn't CoU i can do that #mutuals #zakaria / evil-city

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ineffectualdemon · 2 months

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Since the OP made their post unrebloggable (and blocked me. Both actions they are well in with their right to do)

I'm going to make my response it's own post because I think the point is important

-

As someone who is autistic and has BPD and CPTSD and loads of trauma yes you sometimes need to change how you interact with others to keep people around

When I was 13 I hit the few friends I had when I was angry

I had to change that in order to keep those friendships

When I was in my early 20s if I was losing an disagreement with my husband I would threaten to kill myself. My husband told me it hurt him and was cruel and manipulative behaviour, because it was.

So I worked hard to change that to keep my relationship

It's easy to say "I shouldn't have to change for others" and that's true to an extent. You shouldn't change your interests or passions or dim your light. And you should have space to be imperfect and flawed and not have to pretend your ugly bits aren't real. But if something you are doing it causing other people harm you kinda need to change that.

That's called "living in a society"

People adapt to each other and make space for each other in their lives. You adapt to them and they adapt to you

You start being more diligent about throwing away the empty toilet roll because it really bothers them. They start warning you before they run the blender because you hate loud noises

I stopped threatening to kill myself because I was mad I was losing an argument and my husband stopped being so vocally judgemental amount media he personally dislikes

There is a certain type of person who heard the phrase "your emotions are valid" and took that to mean "my emotional reactions and my behaviour are always objectively correct because my emotions are valid and if you have an emotional response or react to what I'm doing negatively then you are wrong and you can't be hurt because my emotions are valid"

And that's a recipe for disaster

Your emotions are valid to feel. They are how you feel and there are reasons you feel the way you do

However, your reactions and behaviour are something you can learn to control and can be irrational

We live in a society and we as people change each other as we interact and that isn't necessarily a bad thing

#relationships #friendships #behaviour #mental health

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inkskinned · 18 days

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it's because the bear wouldn't kill me just for being a woman. the bear doesn't kill me for fun. the bear can be shouted at, and will leave me alone. the bear won't make a tiktok complaining about how i crossed to the other side of the path when i saw him coming. if a bear kills me, it's just being a bear: it cannot understand logic. it is not acting out of malice - just fear or hunger.

bell hooks once wrote about how porches might be the only outside space left for women - it is still the domain of the house while it is also outside-but-safe. when i am in the woods, i am in the bear's home, and he has a right to defend his property. outside spaces - anywhere at night, certain parks in the day - those are often implicitly "owned" by men. i cannot explain the feeling of knowing when you have entered a man's "territory." you walk into a place and just know you are in their space. you get a sick sense - you're in danger.

the other day a group of about 8 men were fooling around in the woods while i walked my dog. i had to go around, take the extra 3 miles just to avoid them. it's okay, i like walking. this wasn't even a #feminism moment. it was just a tuesday.

what a plain and easy question. only one of the situations is seen as a tragic accident. i would rather die and have a park bench erected in my honor rather than have my family questioned about why they let me, an adult, walk in the woods in the first place when i should really be at home in the kitchen.

i worked in retail and food service. i have had women say and do absolutely heinous and abusive things to me - not because i was a woman, but because i was there, and they were angry. the way men treated me when angry was different - it was because i was a woman. you can always feel the difference, how there's an undertone of i'd hurt you worse if i could get away with it. i keep seeing people try to cite stupid statistics. why is there always a strange rage whenever women agree on things? like men can argue their way out of our lived experiences? it isn't a buzzfeed quiz - which of these traumas are you? 10 super cute ways not to fear strange men.

i have actually (thrice!) seen a bear in the wild, by the way. i died each time, obviously, and am a ghost writing to you. (it was scary but completely and utterly fine). the second encounter was a black bear with her cub. she looked at me like - do we have to do this or are we good? my dog was busy sniffing a bush, completely nonreactive. i felt like i was in a sitcom: feminist poet reacts - does she actually mean she'd choose the bear? my only thought was - she's so beautiful. her paws are massive.

and there's a part of me that feels the rage spinning out in a corner. why do we have to come up with quippy little comments in order to teach men empathy. would you rather die in a car accident or due to a mugging? and would you rather your house burn down due to an electrical fire or due to arson? gee willikers - it's almost like we're human people, and want to risk the accident versus the intention.

i would rather my last thought be oh shit, a bear rather than i'm a person too. why doesn't that matter? why don't you care?

#writeblr #warm up

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sensitive-neuvi-enthusiast · 7 months

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No Nut November; How long are they lasting?

Self explanatory. How long are these horny ass men lasting in No Nut November (sure as hell longer than me, heh)

Content: Sexual themes. MDNI. Fem!reader. Gojo, Geto, Nanami, Choso, Toji. Not proofread.

Gojo

A Day. I'm giving this man at least a day, mostly because he'd be so stubborn about it. He wants so badly to prove to you that he can do it. Could even beat you in the challenge. You didn't even really make it a challenge, you simply mentioned it and he took off with it. But you had to admit, it was pretty funny to watch him try. Gojo is touchy by nature so he's always grabbing your waist, your ass, your tits. Everything. So ultimately, he ends up teasing himself so much that he fails the next morning. Which means, you fail too.

Getou

A week or two. He has more self restraint than our white haired man above. And unlike Gojo, he wasn't necessarily too interested in it until you mentioned it. And how you really wanted to try it, just to see what happens. He humored you and didn't touch you (sexually) for a whole week (or more.) In the end, you were the one who couldn't stand it. Which is how he found you, naked on your shared bed, knuckle deep in your pussy moaning for him to just fuck you. He lost then.

Nanami

Three days. Don't ask me why it's so specific, it just feels like he could last for a little. Again, he'd humor you when you talked about the challenge. But you didn't make it easy. Wearing those skirts you knew he liked, resting your hand on his inner thigh when you'd cuddle. Accidentally bumping your ass against his crotch when you moved passed to get food from the fridge. Three days of this and he lost his patience, bending you directly over that counter you so shamelessly pressed yourself against.

Chosou

Hour. Oh honey, I don't see him lasting more than an hour. In fact, he even asked you about it. Having heard some others talk and he wanted to try it. You already had an inkling that he wouldn't last long, especially since he brought this up while you were getting ready to go for bed. Dressed in your cute little night clothes as you slipped into bed, your ass pressed against his front as you made him wrap his arms around you. He laid there for all of 45 minutes, dick already straining against his pants before he softly whimpered by your ear. Begging you to let him touch you, to make him cum. Of course you agreed, you never really agreed much about the challenge anyway.

Toji

Whole Time/None. I feel like he could go either way. Either lasting the entirety of the month or simply pulling you to bed, fucking you as soon as you asked about the challenge. Toji really isn't one to ignore his desires, unless, he gets to watch you squirm from it. If the mere thought of his big dick, hard in his pants, leaking but he makes no moves to touch it gets you all horny and excited? He'd last all month. But best believe when the months over, he's pumping all your holes full of his cum. And if he decides to say "fuck the game/challenge," he'll just fuck you right then and there.

A/N: What a naughty post for a challenge such as this. I lost already anyways♡

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