#don't advance anymore

[starsonmarsy]

.

#family #i really need to stop looking at jobs when i realize how badly i need to get out of this house because i just end up frustrated and crying #lmao #my body is a trainwreck physically and mentally and i'm severely socially inept #i cannot do most basic adult life skills because my mom intentionally wants me to be dependent on her because is more important #i have higher support needs than the average person but growing up i was left to my own devices #so things that made me gifted and smart and oh so advanced for my age start being normal for everyone else when you #don't advance anymore #then you don't have a lead anymore you're just average. and then you don't progress and now you're behind for the first time #and you can't cope #this is a whole lot of words to just say that i'm useless and lowkey a waste of space but 🤪 #i know i'm being mean to myself i'm just. ugh #i just wish i could be a functional human being #vent #delete later

[ghosthunterbuck]

beer & apologies

(buddie) (722 words) (7x04 coda)

It’s late, later than any reasonable person would show up on a friend’s doorstep, but Buck’s got this bright, warm feeling in his chest and all he wants to do is apologize so he can share it. For a split second he thinks about knocking, but that feels a little too much like going backwards. Instead, he lets himself in and hangs his key on the hook.

“Eddie,” he calls quietly into the still house.

“Kitchen.” The reply is soft, easy, like Eddie was expecting him.

Buck steps into the room and holds up the beer he brought.

Eddie looks up at him and grins, soft and warm in the glow of the lamplight. “What’s that for?”

“This is ‘sorry for acting like a teenager and spraining your ankle’ beer,” Buck says, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “Seriously, I’m sorry.”

Eddie sighs and pushes an empty chair back from the table with his foot, gesturing for Buck to sit. “I’m sorry too,” he says.

“No, no, you don’t—" Buck starts.

“Yeah, I do,” Eddie interrupts with a wry grin. “You should definitely be sorry-er, though, so I’ll take the beer.”

Buck snorts and sits, setting the six pack on the table between them.

“We didn’t—well, I didn’t…”

“I know,” Buck says. “I was just—”

“I know,” Eddie says softly.

A few, quiet moments pass, and it’s comfortable, exactly what Buck was missing the last couple of days.

“Hey,” Eddie says suddenly, sitting up a little straighter, “at least now I know why you always said no to basketball.” He smiles, loose and just a tiny bit mischievous.

Buck splutters. “What? No! I wasn’t that bad,” he protests.

Eddie lifts his injured ankle and raises an eyebrow.

“Okay, well maybe, but—”

“Uh-uh,” Eddie says, “no buts. You haven many talents, Buck, but basketball isn’t one of them.”

Buck ducks his head and grins. “Maybe I’ll get Tommy to teach me, then I can beat you without playing dirty.” Saying Tommy’s name out loud gives birth to a few giddy butterflies in his stomach.

“You two make up?” Eddie asks.

“Yeah,” Buck says. “He uh—texted me.” The butterflies turn to little rocks.

“Good,” Eddie says, “that’s good.” He grabs a beer and twists the top off. “I really think you guys will get along, if you give him a chance.”

“We, um. Yeah. We probably will.” Buck grabs a beer of his own and stares at the label.

He doesn’t—he didn’t mean to lie. It just kind of… came out. Which, it’s Eddie. Buck knows he could tell him exactly what happened, right now, and it’d be fine. It’d be completely fine because it’s Eddie and he knows Eddie would be cool about it, probably even happy for him! But when he goes to open his mouth it just. Doesn’t.

“How’s—uh. How’s Marisol?” he asks instead, tripping over his words.

Eddie shrugs. “She’s fine, same as always. Apparently Christopher got her to play Fortnite, which, according to him, was a disaster.”

Buck laughs, shaking his head. “That kid,” he says softly.

“That kid,” Eddie agrees. He takes another swig of beer and sits back.

“Hey, wait,” Buck says suddenly. He lurches forward and snags the bottle out of Eddie’s hand. “You can’t have this, you’re on pain killers.”

“It’s my apology beer!” Eddie protests.

“Nope, two sips is plenty. I can’t hurt your ankle and your liver on the same day.”

“It’s after midnight, it’s tomorrow,” Eddie pouts. “Give it.” He makes a halfhearted attempt to grab it back, but Buck holds the beer aloft.

“Nuh-uh, absolutely not,” Buck says. “You can drink your apology beer this weekend.”

“My apology beer is going to be flat and stale,” Eddie replies, unimpressed.

Buck rolls his eyes. “I’ll buy you a new apology beer, alright?”

“Promises, promises.”

“I will!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Eddie laughs. “You better. Want to bring it over on Saturday? We can watch the game.”

Buck’s grin falters a little bit, even as that warm feeling bubbles up in his chest all over again. “I uh- can’t, sorry.”

“What, you got a hot date or something?” Eddie asks with a laugh.

Buck takes a long swallow from the beer he stole from Eddie. “Yeah, something,” he says with a hollow laugh.

He feels like a liar.

#i have returned and i come bearing fic #i straight up don't remember my tagging system so #oh well #911 #911 abc #911fic #buddie #buddiefic #911 spoilers #abbie writes #its a coda friends you know what im about #also i'm gonna revive the tag list tomorrow so sorry in advance to anyone who sees this and then gets a crazy late tag!! #or doesn't want them anymore lol

[yet-another-haven-of-dollya]

Even today, as I heal my sorrow, I keep waiting and waiting for you I kept on yearning, to the end of time and space, As if I was dreaming of Shangri-La

...So now, let's dance, that very fateful waltz "Would you like to have this dance?"

Song: Waltz of the Moon Rainbow (Kagamine Rin - Sweet) Couple: Pure Vanilla Cookie x White Lily Cookie (cookierun kingdom)

#Sorry for not being very active guys I'm busy doing commissions and practice for the advanced art class I kinda don't even play game anymor- #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #cookie run fanart #purelily #white lily x pure vanilla #pure vanilla cookie #white lily cookie #Anyway I love them so much every OTP of mine deserves at least one dance drawing. AT LEAST ONE #I LOVE THEM SO FCKING MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THEIR REUNION FOR YEARS #LITERALLY #Oh um and the song is one of my favs please consider listen to it-

[lover-of-mine]

Buddie Countdown to Season 7:

61 days.

For Anonymous.

#911 #buddie #911edit #buddieedit #911 on fox #911 fox #911 abc #evan buckley #eddie diaz #my edit #buddies7 #911hiatus2023 #otp: you don't need to pretend with me #eddiediazedit #usercam #imma milk as many of this as i can sorry in advance #im tired of subtitling oaksasokasas #and i cant think of parallels anymore #so were gonna go with this for the next few days #911verse

[thelaurenshippen]

this is a genuine question not at all meant as a rude gotcha, but I feel like I've seen lots of people cite the relatively low barrier of entry as a huge advantage of podcasts as a medium, "if you have access to decent audio tech you can make a podcast" etc etc. So where does the need to sell a script come in? Is it a financial thing, and IP thing, something else?

this doesn't read like a rude gotcha at all, it's a really good question! there is a much lower barrier to entry when it comes to podcasts compared to tv, film, theater, etc. (though not as low as writing a book if we're talking about hard resources - you can technically write a book with just a laptop and a dream and then self publish! though as a writer who has written a lot of scripts and four books (3 published) writing a book is a much bigger psychological burden imo lol).

the need to sell a script, for me, is entirely a financial thing. if I had the money to produce podcasts at the level I want to entirely independently, I would! I know how to do it! but, unfortunately, I really only have the funds to produce something like @breakerwhiskey - a single narrator daily podcast that I make entirely on my own.

and that show is actually a great example of just how low the barrier is: I actually record the whole thing on a CB radio I got off of ebay for 30 bucks, my editing software is $50/month (I do a lot of editing, so this is an expense that isn't just for that show) and there are no hosting costs for it. the only thing it truly costs me is time and effort.

not every show I want to make is single narrator. a lot of the shows I've made involve large casts, full sound design, other writers, studio recording, scoring, and sometimes full cast albums (my first show, The Bright Sessions had all of those). I've worked on shows that have had budgets of 100 dollars and worked on shows that cost nearly half a million dollars. if anyone is curious about the nitty gritty of budgets, I made a huge amount of public, free resources about making audio drama earlier this year that has example budgets in these ranges!

back in the beginning of my career, I asked actors to work for free or sound designers to work for a tiny fee, because I was doing it all for free and we were all starting out. I don't like doing that anymore. so even if I'm making a show with only a few actors and a single sound designer...well, if you want an experienced sound designer and to pay everyone fairly (which I do!), it's going to cost you at least a few thousand dollars. when you're already writing something for free, it can be hard to justify spending that kind of money. I've sound designed in the past - and will be doing so again in the near future for another indie show of mine - but I'm not very good at it. that's usually the biggest expense that I want to have covered by an outside budget.

but if I'm being really honest, I want to be paid to write! while I do a lot of things - direct, produce, act, consult, etc. - writing is my main love and I want it to be the majority of my income. I'm really fortunate to be a full-time creative and I still do a lot of work independently for no money, but when I have a show that would be too expensive to produce on my own, ideally I want someone else footing the bill and paying me to write the scripts.

I love that audio fiction has the low barrier to entry it does, because I think hobbyists are incredible - it is a beautiful and generous thing to provide your labor freely to something creative and then share it with the world - but the barrier to being a professional audio drama writer is certainly higher. I'm very lucky to already be there, but, as every creative will tell you, even after you've had several successes and established yourself in the field, it can still be hard to make a living!

anyway, I hope this answers your question! I love talking about this stuff, so if anyone else is curious about this kind of thing, please ask away.

#answered #writing #audio fiction #producing #also I say I don't like doing it anymore #but that's exactly what briggon andrew and I are working on #it's gonna be a show where we just split profits equally bc I can't afford to pay them lol #and I'll be sound designing it myself #so apologies in advance #also my GOD lauren can you be succinct once in your GODDAMN LIFE #why are all my posts so long i'm so sorry #also I don't get into it in this post #but using my book example as a jumping off point #obviously it is MUCH more complicated than that #bc self publishing/promoting/etc. #and writing the book in the first place! #is an ENORMOUS effort #as is making an audio drama! #also the grand irony in this #is that the show i was referencing in my original post is a show i first came up with to do independently lol #a two person show for briggon and andrew in fact #and then I happened to mention it to some producers I know and they liked it #so that's a show I COULD make for no money! #but they want to pitch it out and there's no harm in asking around #and in the meantime i just came up with another show for briggon and andrew haha

[conretewings]

Quick sketch of a scene from the short fic I'm working on with a younger Viktor. Rosemary is in it and Vander makes a cameo. This will make more sense when you read it which if my dumb-dumb brain cooperates should be in a day or two.

#sketch #arcane fanart #arcane vander #arcane viktor #arcane oc #aaaaaaaah #it feels weird posting my art #it's utter garbage but I don't....completely care anymore? #apologies in advance to grumpyoutlaw #I feel like this is a childs scribble compared to your gorgeous art

[meownotgood]

top one moment that changed my life

#I'll just never get over this panel... hrrrnnfgff #he's so beautifulllll I just look at him here and... smiling........ #I love the first iteration of topknot it's so adorable #just a little tuft #eventually it will grow big and strong #the way his suit is... the way it.... I'm...... #losing my mind today sorry in advance #i can still remember how I felt the first time I read this chapter #I saw this panel and I was like oh yeah. that guy. he's gonna be my favorite #he's just my type #the scene of him getting kicked in the bawls only added to my crush btw #still pondering every day how I went from 'oh yeah this guy's kinda silly I like it' to... to #don't even know anymore #aki <3

[oh-warizoro]

When ch 1044 and 1045 were released and all the chaos was unleashed, I remember having a very obvious question

"How come the power of human human no mi: model Nika is connected to rubber?"

How is a gomu gomu fruit's awakening the power to turn imagination into reality?

I mean... This awakening grants the user freedom, not just of spirit but freedom of how to use power too. Luffy's ability to manipulate reality while in gear 5 seems to show that.

So??? Why rubber? Why does the fruit give the user a rubber-like body? What does that have to do with anything?

I was totally not re reading Skypiea when I noticed this.

Of course it's white they're in a cloud sky instead of a water ocean, but it's the fact that they use "pure white". White would've been enough to get the point across, right?

Guess where else have we seen that exact expression!? Oda's drafts of Gear 5!!

And the chapter after that? Guess what?!

We learn island clouds in Skypiea bounce just like rubber.

There's no need for Oda to make them bounce, but they do! Exactly like when Luffy turns the environment around him to rubber due to the awakening.

Let's not forget that Skypiea is where we first hear about the "Sun God" and we see Luffy's sirouette resembling the "Sun God Nika" transformation.

So would it be insane to think whatever Luffy has going on during his gear 5 is clouds?!! More specifically island clouds just like the ones found in sky islands.

Think about it.

Rubber was unknown to the people in Skypiea, and sea clouds/island clouds don't survive in the blue sea under natural conditions. Most likely 99% of the blue sea population has no idea what an island cloud is or what their properties are.

For all intents and purposes rubber was the best description blue sea people could give to the power of the fruit. If the fruit hasn't awaken in 800 years, it means no one has seen that transformation (which clearly is not just a “rubber fruit” awakening) EVER?! since the end of the void history gap. You would have no way of knowing. You would just think it’s rubber.

Now what does clouds have to do with the Sun God?

Well other than "they're in the sky" I'm not sure 😂 but someone that dreams a lot is said "to have their head in the clouds". The same way imagination and thoughts in manga are depicted with a floating cloud above the character's head.

It seems to be a perfect physical and symbolic representation of dreams! That's the theme of skypiea and the true pinnacle of piracy - dreams and freedom. It’s what the whole story is about!

#opspoilers #op spoilers #opwmspoilers #opmeta #luffy #human human no mi model nika #It's fucking clouds isn't it??? #I've been staring at the void for too long trying to articulate a decent explanation of my afternoon discovery #And don't get me started on how dials have to be ancient tech from the ancestors of the skypeians #and possibly even from THE ancient kingdom!! #the way pagaya and Gan fall talk about them... It just feels like it and that they don't know how to make dials anymore #Plus skypieans were from the moon #and super technological advanced. They has mecha and all! #And vegapunk has managed to make sea and island clouds in egghead #They can definitely be #manipulated and maybe even man-made #Also pyrobloin!!! It's a component from both Kairoseki and cloud islands! #I have too many thoughts running through my mind. #Maybe another day ill post about some of the other stuff but for now CLOUDS?!! #I needed to get that out bc it's so stupid but... One Piece is stupid?!! Right??? #I think I might've just gone insane #§mine #ch: 1044 #ch: 1046 #ch: 1061 #ch: 237 #ch: 238 #ch: 1053.4 #§optr #§opmta

[misc-obeyme]

Arsenios's story is at exactly 25k words right now. 🙃

I'm sorry, I should be keeping this nonsense to myself but I was just surprised it was such a perfect round number.

Anyway, that's it, that's all I had to say. Good night.

#I apologize in advance for the monster of a fic that I'm about to bestow upon all of you #this dumb story was supposed to be SHORT #and then I got CARRIED AWAY #and now it's LONG #what am I gonna do with myself anymore I don't even know #feel free to skip it if you like #and I swear I'll get back to canon characters soon #late night nonsense posting #misc rambles

[monkey-d-ezekiel]

personal

#i just don't know how to manage. my low self esteem anymore #i realized today how miserly i've become #i don't spend on anything more than the essentials and even there i cut costs #i see other people spending money on themselves and i just feel perplexed #on their hobbies and stuff too. i cannot fathom spending money on things which don't enhance my “productivity” #i feel like i don't deserve it and i just can't consider my happiness important or put effort into it without feeling guilty as hell #i feel it all kinda stems from how i was raised and how my parents rarely spent money on me outside of what's needed to “advance in life” #and i was called a spoiled kid and made to feel ashamed by my dad for wanting more than my books n stuff #i still feel like im extorting someone or taking advantage of them whenever i have the urge to buy something for myself #even though it's my money now #i just wish i could enjoy pointless things without guilt #personal #vent post

[albeckett]

reading about that woman in california who was shot and killed just for having a pride flag outside her store...

#she wasn't even lgbt at all she was just an ally. man #im just venting and this is my own personal opinion but idk im not sure how safe it is to be out and open at this point #like i know it's not advancing the cause and i know it gives homo/transphobes what they want. but i think the general populace is rapidly #getting stupider and meaner and like? i dunno. i personally don't want to take chances with normies anymore #homophobia tw #gun violence tw

[shopcat]

i've decided if some sort of theoretical atla animated film about the earth avatar has to be set in the modern verse it should either be like INCREDIBLY different from ours to stop things from being ... bad. and that the spirit world influences have really ramped up so that it still feels like magical realism or w/e. but alternatively it would just be really good if it wasn't set in like the 2020s but very obviously the 70s-90s that would be awesome for me personally

#🐾 #like yeah yeah nostalgia media isn't all that different #but i would probably be a little disappointed if it's just incredibly normal modern worlds and they've all got smartphones #i feel like the point of atla being set in these different times is to highlight these particular differences #like it ISNT the normal world there's spirits and magical bending of the elements and now the spirits have been free to come and go #for 80+ years. #i also was brainstorming what a vaguely engaging story could be that didn't feel like just a repeat of atla and tlok #and i feel like there being no actual tangible Big Bad would be good #also thought about like. maybe bending and spirituality itself has dwindled in a way or bending in particular #and maybe people who bend are seen as these like really spiritual people and there's just not as much faith around it anymore as technology #advanced. also how the politics of nonbenders affects that ... #like an avatar whose job it is to restore balance back in the world bc no one is bending anymore. or doing it the right way #BUUT i also don't know if i like that bc again i like that their society does hinge on bending and it's what makes it unique #but maybe bc it'd be a movie it wouldn't feel weird bc it'd be a shorter story #like lightning benders run their electricity .. cmon #anywya other than that i'd like the ways things could all interact. in my dream world if it's super modern it'd be solarpunky #like how korra was steampunky... would make sense w the spirit worlds connection to plants #and nature :)

[random-rabid-creature]

Hey you goobers can anyone tell me chrome or google alternatives and some good free ad blockers

#please i don't want to support them anymore #and i refuse to leave youtube to get my sweet sweet video essays but i at least don't want to give them my money #can ad blockers work on apps. ptobably not #h says stuff that nobody needs to know #thank you in advance!

[fulltimeinternethomo]

the dan and phil hyperfixation has hit me like a bus to the point i had to make a separate blog so i don't die

#dan and phil #don't mind me just gonna spam for a min apologies in advance #fully can't handle sitting this shit out anymore when the content tm just keeps coming and don't stop coming

[kokoronbain]

Having the chance to have Amazon Prime so I can watch freely and already Hazbin Hotel is great

And having functionnal substitles in RIGHT time would be better too 💢💢💢

#it happens to me more than once that substitles are too in advance comparing to what characters say #so the substitles spoil me what next and i don't enjoy anymore #wth is wrong with amazon prime on that srl??? #i had to watch in my native language so #by chance it's well dubbed but i wanted listening the original version :( #hazbin hotel #mood #my comments

[craycraybluejay]

Randomly a post I made in October is blowing up-- hi random peoples who like my good awesome take.

Anyway. I woke up at 4 and i cant sleep and my tummy hurts and i would bet you five whole dollars (im stingy and poor, fuck off) that it was from a nightmare im lucky not to remember and if i fall asleep again i will. like ik i need sleep to function but this shit is stupid and i feel well rested enough to do the important stuff. maybe i should habitually start smoking a little weed before bed-- it (usually) prevents dreams or at least remembering them. excaberated psychotic symptoms vs. ptsd. yay exciting choices. yknow what would really fix it tho. personally destroying the monsters who did that shit -_-. then if i had any "nightmares" it'd be bloody revenge and well then those arent nightmares theyre affectionate mental retellings. happy little dreams. a gory menagerie of evil. yeah yeah violence isnt justice blah blah but if healing requires forgiveness like you say it does then i dont want to heal-- i want to get even. i dont forgive what happened. it was needlessly cruel, an unnecessary abuse of power, and so deeply fucked up that it feels like it came straight out of one of those horror movies people vomit at. i dont forgive the "people" that made it happen, and i don't forgive the people who allowed it to happen, either. i don't forgive you for not caring enough and i don't forgive me for not being wise enough and adult enough at the time to get out of it but most of all i do not forgive the ones who directly did that and the knowing bystanders. god, i hate the bystanders. closing their eyes, shrugging their shoulders, "there's nothing i can do." there always is. sure yeah you think im so cool you care about me so much where the FUCK were you????? why should i feel bad for having to make Me or You decisions to survive. you looked the other way when it was just my survival vs. your biases and simple life. why should i hesitate to be selfish for my life when you're selfish for much less. and why am *I* the villain for wanting to eat and have a roof over my head and be treated with dignity and not be sick anymore but you're not for having all that with ease and still wanting to take more and give nothing? what in the world is the point of your power and nice things if all you do is hoard it and ignore everyone? even people you supposedly "love." i still don't forgive you. you could have at least tried. why are you entitled to protection and safety but i'm not. why are you entitled to your human rights and i'm not. why is it that you're so okay with this ugly picture. and you know what? i'd still burn the village to get you out of the hell i was in when you wouldn't lift a finger for me. because love is stupid like that. real love. anything less is cute bullshit.

#delete later #yes i will eternally resent you for not saving me #i didnt expect it from Them #but i was stupid enough to really expect it from you. to really believe you would #because you love me-- right? #because you don't want preventable horrible things to happen to me-- right? #i don't know what to believe anymore #the memories are coming back and i don't remember a single living breathing person who lifted a finger to help me #i just remember pain. and fear. and hopelessness. horror. terror. all of it #i remember pain. and not just the mental. sickness. hunger. the advancement of my illness from what it was before to what it is now #my body remembers when i forget #the stomach issues used to be not as bad. i still struggled but i could eat and i had some skin on my bones #after. well #after what happened it got so much worse #my body stopped trying to fix itself at all. everything hurts #eating hurts. not eating hurts. when i get anxious i want to hurl my entire stomach lining #i cant fix my illness but revenge will be a dish that doesn't hurt at all #and wouldn't it be nice to have one meal-- one day-- where it didn't hurt at all #i miss before. i miss when i could be scared of horror #i miss what it felt like to eat. it felt so good i think. i can barely remember now #mostly i miss not having this ambient paranoia whenever i talk to anyone or go anywhere or even really touch the internet at all in any way #it will happen again #is what it tells me. they want it to. stay away from them. #dont look at them dont talk to them but most importantly dont be yourself #no-- not that version of yourself either. none of them #they don't care about you. they just want their easy ignorant life and will happily sell you out #i'm tired. #i could settle for a lonely little life but i cant even have that because thats also Bad and also something i apparently #Deserve to be hurt over. i Deserve it see so its fine to do that to a human being #as it turns out the only animal without a soul is human