#ed/stede fic

[ofmd-alsaurus]

they knew exactly what they were doing when they put Ed in a cat collar and had him tell Stede to practice his captain voice on him. they knew the fic we would write. they fucking KNEW.

we're always like "omg they're making this season specifically for US" and it's so true, but now it's so especially fucking true... like goddamn. like this show is specifically engineered to produce more weird PWPs by alsaurus. even if I weren't possessed by the voices of Ed and Stede being insane and in love, I would feel obligated to write this shit. when will I ever have these exact days between episodes 5 and 6 to write this shit? this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

anyway, luckily for me and everyone, I AM possessed by the voices of Ed and Stede, and I AM compelled beyond reason to write down the weird shit they get up to in my head.

so please enjoy Kitty and the Captain, let me know what you think, and then sit tight until the next episodes make me even more insane ✌️

#ofmd s2 spoilers #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd fic #ed/stede #ed/stede fic #gentlebeard #gentlebeard fic

[elapsed-spiral]

Prize Every Time (E) is one today!

This was my first long Flag AU that strayed further from the plot of S1 and I think it came out well. Give it a read if you like:

You've Got Mail vibes (but, I'd argue, with a better resolution and more British seaside theme parks involved)

Rivals to lovers! Penpals to lovers!

Sex fantasies involving getting plowed while bent over a self-service checkout

Stede briefly dressing up as a Christmas elf called Sprinkles. It's a Christmassy fic, sorta!

#ofmd #ofmd fic #gentlebeard #gentlebeard fic #ed/stede #ed/stede fic #blackbonnet #blackbonnet fic #I think someone was thinking about doing a podfic but I don't think that happened so if you wanna podfic this lemme know!

[bizarrelittlemew]

calling it right now that season 3 starts like this

#so confused about people saying the season finale feels like the end because to me it didn't at all #there's like 5-10 issues immediately set up for another season #they're in a happy place at this point because they've both realized their love is bigger than anything else #and makes it worth working on their problems together #the problems are still very much there #both of them have deep self esteem/self loathing issues that haven't been resolved in the week since ed woke up #ed doesn't know about stede's trauma #they haven't talked through anything #and they'll be shit at starting/running an inn lmao it's not gonna go well #and those are just some of the internal issues #then there's prince ricky and all the authorities that would very much like to get their hands on both blackbeard and stede bonnet #because stede just full-on kept using his government name after faking his death. nice one #the crew are not “gone” they're more like off to college for a bit but will probably run into trouble immediately #again because while they escaped to the ship they didn't eliminate the threat (the british empire) #it's not a forever goodbye #ok this got super long already anyway i have a whole fic marinading in my brain until i've finished these 4 wips i'm in the middle of ✌️ #hope we get a renewal soon because i want to see the rest of their story!! #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd s2 #ofmd #our flag means death

[sweet-little-goldfish-stede]

Thinking about how DJenks saying Stede is Stede Bonnet the 15th and how that insinuates his father's name isn't Edward like it was in history, freeing up the potential for Ed to take Stede's last name without it being weird. Which is sweet and fun in its own right, but given ofmd hijinks this means they could maybe use their married names without revealing their identities, like:

One day while the boys are having a nice breakfast in town, someone approaches them, waving a wanted poster.

"Edward Teach. Stede Bonnet. The jig is up!"

Stede sighs. Not really the reaction expected of a pirate on the run with a bounty on his head.

"Not again," he mutters. Looks to his companion. "Do you want to explain this time?"

Their would-be capturer frowns. "Explain what exactly?"

"There's been a misunderstanding," Ed provides, "I'm Edward Bonnet. He's Stede Teach."

"Common misconception," Stede Teach chimes in.

"Unfortunate coincidence," Edward Bonnet adds.

"So....you're not pirates?"

"Christ, no. Innkeepers."

"We own the Mermaid." Stede takes a lazy sip of his tea, completely unbothered by the intrusion. "Near the beach."

"Oh. Well. That's alright then."

#ofmd #ofmd fic #stede bonnet #gentlebeard #ed teach #our flag means death

[stitchyarts]

art for The Hostility Industry 15k of weirdo innkeeper fic

#gentlebeard #ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #ed teach #stitchyart #my fic

[areyoudoingthis]

"why hasn't stede told ed about his trauma yet" does he even know there's any trauma to tell him about at all should be the question.

that man's been so repressed and tightly wound his whole life that he wouldn't even know where to begin opening up. he knows ed loves him and he still runs off to hide alone in his room after he's killed a horrible man who poked at his insecurities and triggered his deepest trauma right after insulting the man he loves.

he doesn't turn to ed for comfort when he's upset, he doesn't even process that he's upset, he just sits in his room flashing back to his childhood and panicking. he gets comforted anyway because ed loves him, but where ed's offering conversation stede takes physical relief instead, makes himself feel better without processing anything he just went through.

he's aware that ed loves him, and he's getting better at loving ed because he's a good observer and a very fast learner, but does he even know what being loved looks like. does he even have an idea of the immensity of what ed is offering.

he says "i know" and he means it, but he still fishes desperately for compliments five minutes later because he's still that insecure, still worried that if he doesn't measure up (to the kind of pirate blackbeard and zheng are in this case), he's gonna get left behind.

i honestly don't know what it would take to convince him that he can share his past with ed, that he can tell him about his fears and his self doubt and ed won't leave him for it, won't think weak and soft and not good enough the way everyone else in his life has before.

#welcome to my mind right now this fic is shredding me apart #ofmd #stede bonnet #alex watches ofmd #i think one of these days ed's gonna make a casual comment about something completely random and it's gonna trigger the breakdown of the #century #and he's gonna have to spend a whole week comforting stede at regular intervals #it's gonna be great for them terrible for me who has to write it

[prepare4trouble]

Does it bug anybody else how people seem to consider Ed and Stede to be old? I mean, they’re not kids, but Taika and Rhys are in their 40s. They aren’t ‘old men’. They’re at the beginning part of what most people would consider to be middle aged.

And maybe this is just a me thing, since I’m not that much younger than them, as I approach my 42nd birthday next week, but I’m not old. I mean, I’m not a kid, but I barely even feel like an adult most days.

And yes, I do know that for a pirate in those days, 48 or so would have been considered ancient. I know the real Blackbeard died in his mid to late 30s and Stede Bonnet at 30. But that’s reality, and OFMD is not supposed to resemble reality. If it did, it would be a very different show.

Anyway, I’m not having a go here, and maybe to younger fans they really do look like two decrepit, ancient, old men, or maybe people are just joking around, but more likely this just seems a bit like a byproduct of the film and TV industry’s obsession with youth. I think people are surprised (not in a bad way, just pleasantly surprised) to see people not in their 20s depicted as being in love, and having sex, and all those things that we’ve been indirectly told for years can only happen up to a certain age. And then to see it in a queer romance too, that just makes it stand out all the more, and compared to a lot of the other media people see, these characters do seem older. Because they are.

So I think what I’m saying isn’t, “Hey, stop calling them old!”, which I guess you’re welcome to do if you really must, it’s more something along the lines of, “It shouldn’t be unusual to see these kinds of relationships, and if it was more normalised then maybe people wouldn’t think they were old.”

But it’s also to remind people that calling them old perpetuates that idea that romance in your 40s and beyond is unusual, and that’s not a good thing to be telling people, even by accident.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ed teach #stede bonnet #taika waititi #rhys darby #it’s just #I read a fic where they were written like they were literal OAPs #and it was probably written by some 16 year old #so I kinda get it #but at the same time I don’t #y’know? #or maybe I’m just old

[edwardbabygirlteach]

GUYS I MADE THE CAKE

The cake topper caused some sliding But 🥹

#ofmd #our flag means death #edward teach #stede bonnet #blackbeard #gentlebeard #ofmd s2 #blackbonnet #ed teach #roach ofmd #ofmd roach #samba schutte #cooking with samba #40 orange cake #bakery #baking #listen things went down hill quick one the cake topper went on okay #we belong awake #we belong married #WBA fic #such great heights

[spirker]

I thought Valentine’s was a good day to share some lighthearted fic recs.

These are all Ed/Stede, under 6k words and zero angst.

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

Naughty Office Guy - @clairegregoryau / Rated E / 5.8k words - this is a modern AU PWP where Ed is caught watching porn at work by IT guy Stede. Very hot, with a cute twist at the end. I’m currently working my way through this author’s latest work ‘Synchronicity’ which is an Olympic diving AU that I am absolutely loving so far.

Like An Angel - @piratecaptainscaptainpirates / Rated G / 1.7 k words - a very sweet modern AU meet-cute between T4T Ed and Stede. All of this writer’s work is brilliant, I recommend checking out their multi-chapter fics as well.

A Day in the Life of Model Employee S. Bonnet - @xoxoemynn / Rated T / 5.8 k words - another adorable modern AU meet-cute. Stede is a postie who abandons his route to join famous hair model Ed Teach on a photoshoot.

The Sea Beast - @hibyefics / Rated E / 2.3k words - a post season 2 fic where the boys enjoy reading an erotic novel of questionable quality. This story is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read in this fandom. I love all this author’s work so much 😆

Truly Docked - @ofmd-alsaurus / Rated E / 4k words - idk what to say about this one. If you like your smut to be a bit weird and funny then this writer has got you covered. I gave myself a stomach ache laughing over this one.

Dear Ed (sorry, wrong chat) - @chaotic-neutral-knitter / Rated T / 3k words - this one is sooo good. Mary and her widows reading group find some of Stede’s letters to Ed. They try and decipher the (not so) hidden meaning.

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd fan fic #ofmd fic recs #ed and stede #gentlebeard #valentine's day

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

I think I'll always be a little surprised that it's such a common headcanon that Ed and Izzy have had a romantic/sexual relationship in the past, or that Ed ever viewed Izzy as a potential romantic interest. For me, the way that Izzy manages to have this nearly parasocial relationship with someone he talks to every day and thinks of Ed in a sexual way, along with how Ed likely sees Izzy as a parallel to other cruel older men in his life, is what makes their relationship so fucking fascinating in the first place.

Izzy's attraction to Ed is just so clearly unreciprocated! I don't think Ed realized Izzy was attracted to him until s1e10, when Izzy strokes his face and looks down at his lips while threatening him, and he looks deeply uncomfortable and upset. When Izzy confesses his "love" in s2e1, saying "I have love for you," like it's a disease, like it's something shameful he possesses, Ed basically bluescreens. If someone responds to a love confession by saying "oh come onnnnn" I just don't think they feel the same way, man, sorry.

And I love how Izzy is paralleled to Ed's abusive father in the first season, in a similar way to how Hornigold shows how fucked up Ed's relationships with older men are in season 2. They all hurt people Ed cares about, and when Ed retaliates against controlling behavior, they frame his reaction as revealing an integral capacity for violence that's somehow unique to Ed, proof something is wrong with him. Ed's relationships with older men consistently re-traumatize him.

"I loved you, best I could," is such a juicy line, and I think it really shows Ed's headspace at that moment - he's just tried to get Izzy to kill him, basically saying "you told me I had to be Blackbeard or I was dead, and I can't do it, so you need to finish the job," and Izzy just mocked him for being too scared to kill himself directly. Ed was never, ever going to be able to meet Izzy's expectations for him.

The most interesting thing about Ed and Izzy's relationship is how they see each other so wildly differently, I think. Izzy sees Blackbeard as the ideal of piracy to the extent that he doesn't see Ed as a three-dimensional person, and Ed's projecting his daddy issues onto this mean White guy. They, fundamentally, do not understand each other. It's so fucked up and I love it so much.

#ofmd #our flag means death #izzy critical #i'm just so tired of seeing fics where it's framed as ed “cheating” on izzy with stede because ed does not see this guy romantically

[elapsed-spiral]

Here's the weird thing wot I wrote for JanAUry, enjoy!

Title: Different Dimension Pairing: Ed/Stede Rating: Teen Summary:

Id and Steve are- But Ed and Stede are- But Ed and Stede are- *

A love letter ficlet to AUs in honour of JanAUry. Unbetaed.

#Ofmd #Ofmd fic #blackbonnet #Blackbonnet fanfic #Ed/Stede #Ed/Stede fic #Gentlebeard #Our flag means death

[thedarkcaustic]

caught in a waking dream by whatkindofman

#Edward Teach #Blackbeard #Stede Bonnet #OFMD #our flag means death #ofmdedit #ofmd season 2 #gentlebeard #ed x stede #blackbonnet #taika waititi #rhys darby #edit based on fic #darkcausticedit

[xoxoemynn]

Good morning emy, idk if you've thought about Stede waking Ed up with sweet morning kisses today but if you haven't, this is your reminder to do that 😇❤️

In another life, Stede preferred nighttime to day. 

At night he could be alone. Well, he had to share a bed with Mary, yes, but he could feign sleep, and therefore it was easier to imagine he was alone. All nice and quiet and peaceful. No expectations to speak of. And then he could drift off to sleep as he rotated through some of his favorite fantasies in his mind — captaining a pirate ship, going on adventures on the high seas, swashbuckling in a fab red swishy coat and some smashing leather boots, oh, and maybe even a sash so it’d twirl all around him as he leapt to and fro, and…

Anyway!

Point is, Stede loved nighttime, because it was the only time he could fool himself into thinking he was happy. There was nothing he looked forward to more than putting on his nightcap and tucking himself into bed for a long night of dreaming.

But now? In this life?

Stede loves the morning.   

He loves the way the sun’s rays stream into the window of the bedroom he shares with Ed. He loves stretching out his arms and wiggling his fingers to get some circulation back into them before he pulls Ed into a tighter embrace. He loves the sleepy little noises Ed makes as he settles himself into Stede’s chest. He loves gently running his hand through Ed’s hair and seeing if any more silver strands sprouted overnight. 

He loves placing gentle kisses on whatever part of Ed he can reach — the top of his head, above his eyebrow, on his cheek, on his nose, down his neck and back up again. 

He loves how Ed feels wrapped up around him, all warm and languid and liquid, like a big, gorgeous cat sunning himself in love. But in a way that doesn’t sound weird. Because that does sound weird. A bit. 

But still. 

Stede loves mornings.

All nice and quiet and peaceful. No expectations to speak of. 

Just love.

Ed rolls over in Stede’s arms, taking one of Stede’s hands as he does. Smiling, Stede turns his focus to the new area of skin Ed very kindly bared for kisses. He peppers soft kisses all over Ed's back, gentle and sweet, each one a reminder to Ed:

Hello, my love.

I’m here.

I love this life we’ve built together.

We’ll get our first guest at the inn some day.

You’re beautiful.

You’re wonderful.

You’re mine.

And then Stede feels Ed pull his hand to his lips, and Ed presses a kiss there, and Stede squeezes his hand back.

“Morning, love.” Ed’s voice is still raspy with sleep, just one more thing Stede loves about the mornings. “Have a good night's sleep?”

“Yes,” Stede replies, and tugs Ed closer to him. “And now I can't wait to start our day.”  

#ask #blakbonnet #OFMD #Our Flag Means Death #Ed x Stede #Blackbonnet #Gentlebeard #Edward Teach #Stede Bonnet #My Fic #I'd been saving this ask for a rainy today #that rainy day is apparently today #love and smishes all of you

[justsomecouscous]

'in my relationship I only want a guy who's 6ft and has muscles' this 'I want a girl who has a big ass and boobs' that

Nah FUCK that

I want someone to lovingly hold my face in their hands and look adoringly at me then kiss me while the fans scream and cry from happiness after waiting for 5 seasons and the old bitter white men to sit seething in their arm chairs

#I wanna have it like the gay men do in the fluffy ao3 fics #I want them to cradle my face and kiss me while we cry from happiness cause we just won the battle/war fr #Do it like stede and ed do babe #What if we had a rlly cute first kiss just to piss off old homophobic white men 👀 #ed x stede #Merthur #bagginshield #aralas #cherik #You name a cute gay probably enemies to lovers fantasy ship then it's probably been my 2 month long hyperfixation at some point #geraskier #lokius #solangelo #ineffable husbands #wesper #wolfstar #jedtavius #sambucky #also shout out to the lesbians too fr #lumity #catradora #gwen x morgana

[areyoudoingthis]

I am SO grateful that ed and stede exist as characters exactly as they are. I'm so grateful for these two men who are traumatized and messed up and struggle to even like themselves, who are terrible at communicating, who make enough mistakes between the two of them to fill an entire ocean. I am so grateful to watch them struggle and be seen and be loved and reach out for the things they want and are maybe starting to believe that they deserve. I'm so grateful that the show lets them fall in love and get together exactly as they are, that it doesn't say they need to wait until they've become some unattainably perfect version of themselves before they have permission to have that. i am so grateful for ofmd

#ofmd #there are no other shows like this one #I'm so tired of media that repeats the same idea that you need to hit a list of predetermined therapy milestones (determined by who???) #before you can fall in love #I'm honestly tired of fic that does this with ed and stede too #because guess what #you can live in the 21st century with access to therapy and dsm diagnosis and a bunch of different medications and you can be doing all the #right things and still be a trainwreck!!! #putting in the work doesn't mean you're gonna become perfect and never have problem again any more than falling in love doesn't mean you'll #never have problems again #I'll forever be crying on my knees levels of grateful for the unique writing on this show #for saying that it's okay you can be a mess you can take one step forward and three steps back and you'll still always be deserving #of love and grace and forgiveness #you don't have to do anything to deserve you deserve it just because you exist #i love this show with my entire heart #alex watches ofmd

[babykittenteach]

"They sat on the edge of the heated indoor pool, jammies rolled up to their knees, hands almost touching, legs dangling in the water. They’d abandoned their robes and slippers on one of the poolside chairs. Ed wasn’t gonna say anything, but he was a little bit chilly without it."

-from "A Little Haunting, Isn't it?" by @adamarks, done with permission.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ed teach #stede bonnet #fanart of fanfic #right so I'm not really personally much of an AU person #(yes i'm aware that means i'm in the wrong fandom) #but I have had that conversation with Jay a few times and I opted to read this fic anyway to see what Jay likes about them #and idk where it's going but I like his voice so far #and I'm a sucker for hand moments #art i'm proud of