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what your favorite Tolkien ship says about you
Sam/Frodo - looking back on your childhood, you can pinpoint Lord of the Rings as the beginning of your crippling addiction to soft gay cottagecore
Aragorn/Legolas - you still have that poster of Orlando Bloom from a tiger beat magazine that you taped to your bedroom wall when you were 10
Legolas/Gimli - you are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of height differences
Aragorn/Boromir - you are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of dying tragically, like if you cry every time
Aragorn/Arwen - your ideal date involves being carried off into the sunset by a buff man who drinks nothing but respect women juice
Eowyn/Faramir - you spend your days panhandling outside Peter Jackson’s house for footage of the deleted wedding scene
Eowyn/Merry - you saw Eowyn stabbing the witch king and you were like, “god I wish that were me”
Arwen/Eowyn - your ideal relationship dynamic is just girls being friends, gals being pals
Elrond/Celebrian - you just want good things for Elrond, and really, who wouldn’t?
Galadriel/Celeborn - you were thrilled when “Barbie is everything, he’s just Ken” became the hot new meme
Sam/Rosie - you are heterosexual
Galadriel/Sauron - you are extremely heterosexual
Bilbo/Thorin - you have written at least one fix-it fic where Thorin and Bilbo raise baby Frodo together
Thranduil/Bard - you’re just here for the dilfs
Thranduil/Thorin - your ideal relationship dynamic is that one meme that’s like “fuck you” “fuck me yourself, you coward”
Melkor/Sauron - your addiction to edgy boys got so bad that one day you were like “hey you know what’s better than one edgy boy? two edgy boys”
Maedhros/Fingon - you have a thirty page google doc citing HoME quotes that you incest—I mean insist—are proof that Maedhros and Fingon are Gil-galad’s true parents
Fëanor/Nerdanel - you have gotten into at least three heated internet arguments with people who think Fëanor is a fascist
Celebrimbor/Annatar - your ideal date involves getting pinned up against the wall by your sworn enemy as they place the tip of their sword just underneath your chin and then use it to tilt your head up a little
Celebrimbor/Narvi - half of you are coming here from shipping gimleaf, half of you just want Annatar to get eiffel towered
Túrin/Beleg - you are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of the “I’ll cut your throat” “you’re beautiful” scene from Princess Mononoke
Haleth/Caranthir - you’re always a slut for MEN! GETTING! PEGGED!
Glorfindel/Ecthelion - your ideal relationship dynamic is verified himbo, certified morosexual
Maglor/Daeron - you are a film believer in the inherent eroticism of dramatic breakup songs
Beren/Lúthien - you are J. R. R. Tolkien
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What Your Favorite Nevermore Ship Says About You
Lenore/Annabel Lee- The internet asked you to choose between friends to lovers and enemies to lovers, but you said “por que no los dos?”
Pluto/Eulalie- You’re always a slut for keeping things canon and keeping things wholesome
Montressor/Ada- You unironically ship Joker with Harley Quinn
Montressor/Will- You want a hot evil guy to step on you and call you names
Duke/Pluto- No matter what fandom you’re in, you will find a way to make two cute boys kiss each other
Berenice/Eulalie- Your favorite ship dynamic is “the quirky one and their long suffering best friend”
Merry/Mourn- You used to be really into The Onceler
Annabel Lee/Prospero- You are heterosexual
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what your favourate hxh ship says about you
(totally stealing this format from eldena doubleca5t because i wanted a hxh version)
KilluaxGon-you just wanted good things for Killua, and really, who wouldn't
LeorioxKurapika-you actually prefer the '99 adaptation
IllumixHisoka-you're really into bdsm despite never having tried it yourself
ChrolloxKurapika-your either really into bondage, really into femboys, or most likely, both
HisokaxGon-you know my joke's gotta be fbi open up
ChrolloxHisoka-you're a strong believer in the inherent eroticism of begging your senpai to notice you
ChrolloxIlllumi-you're a strong believer in the inherent eroticism of being done with Hisoka's bs
HisokaxIllumixChrollo-your horniness knows no bounds. Your thirst can't be quenched, can it?
MachixHisoka-you enjoy being rejected by strong women
PhinksxFeitan-maybe you're the rare Phinks fans, but most likely you're a Feitan fucker who's too embarrassed to ship him with y/n
UvoginxShalnark-you're always a sucker for things that are so sad, like it you very every time
PokklexPonzu-you're always a sucker for things that are so sad, and you're heterosexual
PalmxKnov-you unironically browse the teacher crush tag on Tumblr
PalmxGon-this one's also fbi open up, but you're also heterosexual
KomugixMeruem-you're a strong believer in the inherent eroticism of a board game addiction
ZenoxNetero-you skipped past the dilfs straight to the gilf zone
ParistonxGing-you're a strong believer in the inherent eroticism of watching all the joy seep out of someone's eyes as they realize they have nothing left to live for
AmanexCanary-i don't know how you, a Yuri fan, made it into the hxh fandom, but good on you for making the most of it
GonxRetz-don't you mean Gonxwho?!
VergeixBisky-you just want a strong woman to crush your head between her thighs like a watermelon
PakunodaxChrollo-you have been secretly in love with your best friend for the past twenty years, but sure, you'll definitely tell them someday
NobunagaxHinrigh-your speed and dedication are only surpassed by your ability to disregard the impending train wreck
KilluaxIllumi-you strongly identify with Killua, but you're also an Illumi simp. Or at least, i reaaaly hope this is what's going on here…
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