#everyone has them whether you realize it or not

[cometblaster2070]

genuinely just OBSESSED with this hc that apple is a complete and utter MESS when it comes to her relationship with darling.

like it's such a funny contrast for the people who know her because this is Apple White; she is calm and polite and put together, and in all the years she dated daring, she was so fucking chill about everything.

daring dating other girls? didn't give a shit. everyone's wondering why they aren't affectionate in public? well, they're just teenagers they have forever after yk. when will they go steady? they have the rest of their destinies to worry about that.

you get my drift; apple does not give a single shit when it comes to this relationship because she is so in control of it. the actual 'relationship' aspect isn't really important to her and as such she's so composed in terms of her relationship with daring.

but throw DARLING in the picture and then there's apple running around like a headless chicken, being absolutely CLUELESS about what to do now that she actually has feelings for someone.

i'd like to have an entire episode of darling and apple going out on a date where there's basically a reverse situation of the dexven date ep where raven keeps trying to hype apple up and keep her calm while thinking 'dear god was i really like this???'

meanwhile, apple's hyperventilating over here just thinking about what to wear, what jewelry will match with her dress, if she's overdoing it or not, whether she should get darling a gift or something, what if she's overdressed or underdressed, and will darling like the food where they're going, and if darling even likes her at all the way she likes darling-

in the end raven grabs dexter and she says fuck this shit you and i are going undercover and tailing them, im too worried for this lesbian disaster.

dexter agrees because he's just come from helping rosabella hide all of darling's armor and assorted weaponry and they had both enlisted the help of the wonderlandians to make sure darling didn't have a breakdown every 3 seconds every time she realized she was actually going on a date with apple.

shenanigans are ensuing and rosabella and raven are getting the worst of it by this point, but they love apple and darling too much so they put up with it.

#ever after high #eah #shitpost #eah headcanons #headcanon #apple white #darling charming #raven queen #rosabella beauty #daring charming #dexter charming #yes i am once again writing about them #dappling #darlapple #darling x apple #apple x darling #the wonderlandians find this extremely amusing and exasperating #lizzie constantly mutters off with her head under her breath while kitty gleefully knocks all of darling's shit on the floor #maddie tries to make her tea and gives advice in riddlish #while alistair strategizes and bunny ensures darling makes it on time #it's a team effort #also lsiten #apple may be the most accomplished teenager on the planet #but she is also allowed to be an absolute flustered disaster when faced with darling #vice versa #darling can take down the most horrific monsters without breaking a sweat #but asking a pretty girl out??? bye #yes in case you were wondering apple was the one to ask her out

[balkanradfem]

The christian side of tumblr found a post where I made a little joke about how religion puts women into servitude and it's going around gathering bible quotes and arguing whether this is about christianity or other religions x_x I never thought this day would come.. I didn't think christians were on here. And even though the majority of people arguing are christians, I never wrote down 'christianity', I meant all abrahamic religions.

I'm itching to go argue but I know deep in my heart there is nothing to be gained. These people are eager to mock and personally attack whoever is disagreeing with them and that is not a honest intellectual discussion that I crave. I think if you're religious you just have to avoid thinking things like 'why is that so' and 'isn't that awfully convenient' and 'what if this promised thing fails to materialize' because once you start having those thoughts, the entire thing falls apart.

I remember being 15 and realizing that the christian god has no actual use of us, no point in caring about us whatsoever, and no incentive to pay attention to what we do or don't do, but humans very much have a need to believe in the higher power that works to their personal advantage, and that there's someone 'up there' who will make things alright for them, that they have a higher purpose and that if they follow certain rules it will pay out. And this was enough for me to figure out that god didn't create humans, but humans created god, because humans have a need of a god, while god has no need or use for humans at all.

It was only later when I learned about feminism that I realized it wasn't only that, but that it was specifically made to control, exploit and oppress women, praising them for endless servitude, sacrifice, submission and platitude, all while consistently telling them they're filled with sin and never good enough. It's now ghoulish and bizarre to me that the symbol of their faith is a m*n being brutally tortured, that what we feel is holy is endless suffering and pain and death. We're told to aspire for that. That has nothing to do with spirituality, nothing to do with human nature or healthy and happy human lives. It's a worship of death.

There are promises that religious people make towards women, to make them believe it's a path towards true love, or endless rewards for being 'faithful' and 'pure' or a life where they feel safe from disasters, safe from being abandoned and betrayed. There's nothing in life that can guarantee that. Religion can however, offer certain people a community, it can provide services where you come and listen to stories, and stories come with morals (convenient and confusing morals, but people love engaging with moral-type stories and feeling they've learned something), it provides rituals and celebrations that cultures have integrated in their life (after it destroyed the original rituals and celebrations, but we don't talk about that), and it can provide a common ground of understanding for people (sadly the common ground is that women exist to serve and that this is natural). Sometimes it also provides a feeling of superiority for some people, enabling them to mock, humiliate and patronize others for their 'lack of religion'.

So I understand there are community related reasons a person might feel safer within a religion and having this common ground and community, common beliefs, familiarity and stories, rituals and celebrations, it doesn't come off as a horrible thing, especially when the majority of the culture does it. But other things it brings are painful for women, and often hidden. Encouraging hidden suffering, sacrifice, servitude, centering torture and death, and admiration of torture and death, instead of celebrating nature, life, the world we live in and how we interact with it. Centering males as creators when everyone alive was created by women. Dismissing wars, rape, terrorism, weapons of mass destruction, genocides and male brutality, while endlessly shaming women for having feelings and not doing a good enough job pleasing the violent males. And generally making a hell for women when they have any thoughts about sexuality or lust.

I know me writing about it here will not have any effect on people personally attacking me for being ignorant and uneducated, but it feels good to write down the thoughts I've been having all day! Being forbidden from thinking in certain direction, forbidden from questioning my own beliefs, is something that plagued me for a big part of my life, and I will not have it anymore. I can say 'this is awfully convenient' when religions declare that m*n are leaders and women are supposed to follow and serve. I can say that putting up statues of a m*n dying in torture is fucked up and morbid. I can say that making me believe that I would go to hell, for not following every order I've been given, is a horrid thing to do to a female child. And I'm happy and grateful that I can think and say whatever I want, without any threat of damnation ever looming over me.

#religion #radical feminism #radfem #religion critical #misogyny in religion

[fishermanshook]

GANJI GUPTA HEADCANONS.

( batter ) aka GANJI GUPTA.

TW: MY H/C’s 😨 , this layout is giving cheese , grammar and spelling warning

INTRO

Who is Ganji Gupta? And how do you know him? As a friend, a loved one, or as a nobody?

*manor au where they are trapped inside.

꒰wc꒱ 641

GANJI GUPTA, also known as the manor's one and only Batter, acts as a lone wolf. He most likely won’t start conversations and will keep his answers short. Though, it’s just another barrier he puts up out of the need for protection. He doesn’t know who he can confide in here and, in his eyes, everyone seems to be another untrustworthy person out for their wants and needs. That’s all that they are sized down to at the beginning.

GANJI GUPTA struggles with being alone, at least, less than most others. He has experience with the feeling, but everyone caves eventually. He, on the other hand, can withstand it for quite some time.

GANJI GUPTA who, after quite some time, starts to warm up a bit more to the manor inhabitants. Realizing that it’s better not to hold any grudges if you’re going to be stuck here for all eternity.

GANJI GUPTA enjoys the company of others most when they play cricket with him. It doesn’t even matter if they’re good or not, he finds the act endearing and appreciates it more than anyone could imagine.

GANJI GUPTA would need a partner who takes things slow with him. Someone who understands that he (sometimes) has his moments, and will give him the time and space to sort through them. That might mean leaving your side for a while or hitting some cricket balls as far as he possibly can, imagining that all his anger flies away with it.

               ↳ However, there are moments where neither of these things can help him and he needs you instead. Help him to breathe again, and talk him through it instead. Distract his mind from thinking about why he was so upset in the first place. Just, don’t treat him like a child.

GANJI GUPTA who can’t help but feel jealous as you laugh and joke around with the others. There’s a part of him that sometimes wishes he too could enjoy the company of the rest but is too shy to say it. Although, if you happen to pick up on it, grab his hand and pull him into the conversation. He’ll find the flow, eventually.

GANJI GUPTA also hates the pit of spitefulness that pools in the bottom of his stomach when he notices someone else flirting with you. He goes red in the face with his arms crossed and looks furious. The Batter can’t seem to grasp how other people aren’t yet aware of your relationship and is quick to wrap an arm around your waist and come up with some lossy excuse to pull you away elsewhere.

↳ You can't help but whine a bit as the Batter pulls you away. You had a friendly conversation going on with the “Prisoner”, what’s the matter? As you continue your complaining, it dawns on Ganji that, you hadn’t realized he’d been trying to court you the entire time.

GANJI GUPTA will always use his last cricket ball to benefit you in a match. Whether it’s to save you from your third chair or to help prolong your kite, he never hesitates to use it for your sake. He’s gotten some rather harsh comments on it before, but he just ignores them and carries on with his day.

GANJI GUPTA deals with frequent night terrors that wake the both of you up. He’s quick to apologize, brushing it off as if it were nothing. Unfortunately, the tears in his eyes give him away. You don’t ask what they were about, and you probably shouldn’t for now. All he wants is to fall asleep in your embrace with the reminder that you’re here. That you are alive.

note: you thought I was gonna post that painter fic? erm whattttt? why would you ever think that???? that’s so weird what….

fishermanshook — no stealing , translating , plagiarizing or reposting my work on other any other sites + reblogs adored !!

#⋆˚ 💗˖° HEAD OVER HEELS! #idv #idv x reader #fanfiction #identity v #ganji idv #ganji gupta x reader #ganji x reader #idv headcannons #headcannons #ganji gupta #identity v x reader #Idv fluff #Idv angst #identityv #identity 5 fic #identity v fanfic #identity v x you

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

Questioning NPD, and already prof. dx'd autism and OCD culture is (lengthy and vent-ish, but not really with the latter):

📌 Carefully orchestrating this whole ask.

📌 Thinking every day about how much criteria you meet. **It's nearly all of it**, but you're still unsure if the things you've been prev. dx'd with would cancel it out or not.

📌 Stigma and misconceptions making you second-guess yourself.

📌 "-But I don't constantly or overtly seek attention/admiration..." Though I DO desire it, fantasize about seeking it, and get upset or disappointed when I don't receive what I'd like/had expected (when I do so). I'll think about it for a bit and feel a mild (?) sense of entitlement, then scoff "whatever" in my head.

I'm also afraid of people thinking I'm pathetic if I try too hard, so that's why I don't.

📌 ^ Comparing your competence in something afterwards, then being like "🤔🧙‍♂️😏" (silly ass emojis ik) when you notice that you're better or on par with whatever someone/everyone else has presented.

📌 ^ Moral OCD kicks in not long afterwards. I'll be writing a book if I elaborate.

📌 Struggling to find resources on covert presentations of NPD besides "10 signs of a covert narcissist" (it's mostly emotional abuse shit) or "the covert narcissistic mother." 🫠 Like bro please.

📌 Being afraid that by claiming you have "narcissistic traits/tendencies" and potentially learning it's all something different later that you'll seem like a fool (I feel like there's irony in this).

📌 "What if it's just C-PTSD?" (Also questioning) + "What if I suspect what could be C-PTSD is just my OCD and *some trauma.*" The fear of seeming like a fool to people (generally and those you'd seek help from) 2x.

📌 "I'm also aware of how my actions affect others sometimes, and I'm pretty self aware..."

I KNOW it's a misconception/overgeneralization that narcs 'can't have empathy' (also dude how do you think I manage how others potentially perceive me lol). I ALSO KNOW that self-aware narcs exist (like on here, hello...), but man...

A therapist once told me that I seemed too self-aware to be one as the 3 (yes) previous people they had experience with "typically only came in due to other problems like depression or perceiving others having 'the issue,' then were later diagnosed."

Self-doubt plus a lack of resources is a Bitch...

📌 That same one also used Donald Trump as an example of a narc (not that I'd disagree since I've read a bit of that one book about his family that was made by.. I think his Niece? Who's a clinical psych, but lmao...), wasn't aware of certain terms I'd bring up, and would accidentally skip questions (brought a pocket diagnostic manual with me, so I knew).

They were nice, but it made me go "hmm I think I'm more competent." Fear of being 'an arrogant fool' with that one (esp. as they've gone through schooling and I haven't.... *Yet* 😏), but seriously. Makes me teeter between whether I should just go with self diagnosis or seek out a more qualified professional (realized that one didn't specialize in pds besides BPD, so..) whenever I'm more prepared (both bringing up that fear again).

📌 OH AND BEING ASKED "Do you exploit others?..." with a waiting stare. Maybe others have no problem admitting that or other unpleasant things, BUT WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WANNA SAY THAT!!! 😭 (I actually don't - at least not harmfully or often? But still).

📌 Obsessing/having intrusive memories and thoughts about people who've rejected you, left you out, did relational bullying, and/or perceived you as somehow 'less than' and were condescending towards you. Fantasizing about either winning their approval (more of a younger me thing) or overpowering them; either directly proving them wrong/that you've actually been better than them/putting them in their place or becoming famous for something unique/grand. ALL for **Years** and it sucks because it's likely that I barely exist in their minds, and I've yet to move on.

I've yet to heal/grow from this internalized shame and whatnot in full (plus there's more I could add into it like familial shit, the compassion/thoughtfulness I've had for those people despite what I've mentioned above - like ik they've had their own issues, etc.) I mean, I have been doing better... I've noticed my own growth, but it's been a painfully slow process.

📌 My mom being like "*you're not like your dad!!*" when I talk to her about narc stuff; further feeding my self-doubt/questioning. Also yeah it's likely that my paternal side has tendencies and that my dad has NPD. Way more than me actually LOL (plus I also likely get the OCD from his side, but y'know... Lots of them are old, they're Latinos, and idk what's up w my cousins since I rarely talk to them).

- Uhhhhh can I please claim 🌀🪄?

.

#npd culture is #questioning npd culture is #npd + ocd culture is #autistic npd culture is #autistic npd + ocd culture is #npd #actually narcissistic #actually npd #narcissistic personality disorder #cluster b #autism #asd #autism spectrum disorder #ocd #obsessive compulsive disorder #-🌀🪄

[calinaannehart]

The Parts We Play

Chapter 3

The entire drive home after shift Eddie can’t stop looking in his rearview mirror at Buck’s truck. It’s enormous, bigger than Eddie’s, and the latest model. A Ford F-150 Raptor, with blacked-out windows and custom matt paintwork, and which probably cost three times Eddie’s yearly salary.

Every time he looks back at it he feels another jolt in the pit of his stomach. There’s an A-list celebrity following him. An A-list celebrity who got paid, according to Chim, over $3 million for his last movie is following him back to his house. To meet his son. An A-list celebrity who—

Fuck.

An A-list celebrity who is going to see Eddie’s tiny little two-bedroom house, his poor excuse for gardening, his kitchen sink full of dishes, and his fucking boxers that are probably still hanging on the clothes horse because the fucking dryer has broken for the sixth time and Eddie can’t afford to replace it until his next paycheck.

He contemplates calling Carla, asking her to stash the offending articles of clothing in his room, but remembers his phone is in his duffle bag on the back seat. He also realizes how ridiculous he’s being, it’s only underwear. Everyone wears underwear, even Buck. Unless they decide to go commando, that is. Does Buck go commando?

Fuck.

The turning to Eddie’s street springs up on him and he takes the corner way too fast, yanking the wheel around sharply to avoid mounting the curb, and glancing back in his rearview once more in time to catch Buck breaking to make the turn safely. He indicates as he approaches the driveway, rolling down his window and pointing to the curb out front to indicate that’s where Buck should pull up, and hopes he can get inside the house to deal with the laundry before Buck makes it out of his truck.

He has no such luck, however, the second Eddie has closed the driver’s side door Buck is by his side, surprisingly full of energy for someone who has just completed their first night shift in a fire station and managed roughly only twenty minutes sleep in the back of the engine on the way back from a call.

“I thought Rodriguez was a wanna-be rally driver,” Buck grins, pointing back to the corner of Eddie’s street. “But with the way you took that turn, you could give him a run for his money.”

“Just a little tired,” Eddie lies, rubbing at the back of his neck while eyeing Buck’s truck and contemplating whether it’ll be safe parked out on the street. Maybe he should have gotten Buck to park on the driveway instead, Eddie’s truck is worth less, but then it’s a safe neighborhood with a very low crime rate which is rare in a city like LA.

“You sure you wanna do this now? I can shoot off, let you catch up on some sleep—” Buck thumbs back over his shoulder at his truck, turning slightly as though he’s about to make a start toward it.

“No!” Eddie blurts quickly, embarrassing himself with how desperate he must be coming across. “I mean, I won’t be sleeping until later anyway. Carla, Christopher’s home health aid has another client today so it would have just been me and him anyway.”

“Oh, ok,” Buck nods, squinting at Eddie. “If you’re sure I’m not gonna be intruding?”

“Not at all,” Eddie glances at his watch. “We’ve probably got half an hour before Chris is up, that’s time for at least three coffees.”

Buck practically skips up the path next to Eddie. “Three? Jesus, I’d be bouncing off the walls after the second.” Eddie doesn’t add that Buck doesn’t need any caffeine to be bouncing, the man is pretty much the human equivalent of a space hopper. Eddie opens up the front door, leading Buck through, and is met instantly by the offending presence of the clothes horse, his boxers hanging pride of place on the top wrung.

“I’ll just…um,” Eddie starts grabbing at the items, bundling them in his arms and hiding them from view, only moving to head to his bedroom when he thinks he has them all. But a polite cough and a tap on his shoulder stops Eddie in his tracks and he turns to find Buck holding a pair of boxers that had evaded him. Eddie’s whole face flushes which is completely and utterly ridiculous and just makes him feel like an even bigger idiot, but then again, Evan fucking Buckley is holding his boxers out to him.

“I pegged you as more of a briefs guy,” Buck smirks, but it’s not an unkind smirk, on the contrary, it’s more teasing and there’s a spark in Buck’s eye that can only be described as flirtatious. Eddie snatches the boxers from Buck’s hand, stuffing them into the pile in his arms.

“S-sometimes,” Eddie stutters, backing away when he realizes how close Buck is standing to him. “Boxers don’t sit well under the uniform so I tend to wear briefs at work—” Eddie slams his mouth shut, utterly perplexed as to what on earth possessed him to share that titbit of information with a Hollywood movie star.

Read on AO3

Please support me by reblogging so I can reach a bigger audience!

#911 fanfic #911 #911 fanfiction #evan buckley #fanfiction #eddie diaz #bobby nash #911 abc #911 on abc #calina writes #calina anne hart #calinaannehart #don’t just like reblog

[yourqueenb]

Feeling another random burst of self confidence (probably due to lack of sleep honestly) so have a heavily made-up eye reveal I guess? 😂

#this is from my bridal makeup trial back in December #and tbh even though it’s not exactly what I wanted I still really liked it and the overall look looked good in my engagement photos #we’re gonna change a few things for the day of but yeah #no one asked but I actually like my eye shape for the most part #I feel like they can look kind of sleepy or a bit too small sometimes in photos where I’m not wearing as much makeup #or any at all #but I still like them especially since they look like that less often now #maybe it’s bc I’ve kind of grown out of that and I haven’t really noticed until recently #or maybe it’s just bc I’m getting a little better at taking photos lol #either way if you’re a teenage girl or a woman in her early 20s and you have these random but prominent insecurities like me #I just wanna say that you’ll get past them/grow into them #maybe it’s just those awkward teen years or maybe you’re not completely comfortable with how you look or taking pictures yet #but it’s okay you’re beautiful in your own way #and it’s okay to have insecurities too #everyone has them whether you realize it or not #I def still have other things I’m insecure about #but it’s important to talk and think nicely about yourself even when it’s hard #so that’s what I’m doing here #I’m gonna try to keep practicing that from now on #hopefully I can keep it up bc I really do think too negatively about myself sometimes

[ilovedthestars]

here's the thing. yes, some pieces of art are "better" than others. there are many criteria you can measure that with--technical skill, creativity, clarity, conceptual depth, successful execution of the artist's intentions, etc., and i do think it's useful to clarify which ones you're using as a measuring stick. but like, of course you can evaluate art. of course you can be critical (in the "art critic" sense) of art. (among other things, that's one of the most important ways to get better at making art yourself.)

however. when it comes down to evaluating what gets to count as art. what art even gets to have a seat at the table. i will go to bat for the thing that isn't as "good" every single time.

you can say you think a piece of art is bad. you can say you think it lacked technical skill, or clarity, or conceptual depth, and you consider those important elements of a successful work. i might even agree with you. but if you think that means it doesn't matter, someone is going to die on this hill and it isn't going to be me

#this is not apropos of anything #or like directed at anyone in particular #just to be clear #i just had a Thought that triggered something in my art student brain and made this click #because i am being trained how to critique and evaluate art. i know how to objectively and subjectively judge whether something is 'good' #('good' in scare quotes bc that is such a vague metric. i tend to use 'successful' more often) #but the second someone calls something 'bad art' or 'not even art' i will be ready to back it up instantly #and i realized that it boils down to acting like something doesn't matter because it has failed to meet a certain standard #i think all art matters. i think that doodle of a cat you drew in the corner of your math notebook matters #i think that poem you wrote when you were in second grade matters #i think that song you made up and recorded on a voice memo and then cringed when you listened to it later matters #i also think those abstract expressionist artists that everyone loves to hate on matter btw #their art doesn't speak to me that strongly but that doesn't mean it didn't have anything to say #everyone has something to say. and you can have opinions about what they said or how they said it #but you don't get to tell them to stop talking #that includes when that someone is yourself btw #anyway #this has been my monthly-or-so evening ramble #i've been overdue for one honestly #stars has thoughts

[skeleticals]

i think they should make the border smaller so they force people to get out of their caves and so the ggn can have actual fun content. this is a pvp centered event so !

#qsmp #chatter #from every perspective I've been watching bbh just looks like a huge pussy and since I haven't gotten to watch his povs I'm really hoping - #he has a plan to just fucking kill everyone/actually pvp w ppl that doesn't involve spawn camping #and once i started watching etoiles pov i realized that red team also look like huge pussies. #not necessarily neg of any cc it's just a bit annoying considering this is a pvp event whether they like it or not! #it doesn't matter if you're bad at pvp all that matters is that at LEAST you try #and whats even sadder is that etoiles is promising them that they aren't gonna get their stuff once they kill them all they want is blood

[grinchwrapsupreme]

One thing Being Human does really well is show the different ugly ways trauma can manifest - anger, sadness, becoming convinced of things that aren't true - and how conflicting traumas can result in actively hostile relationships

#don't click on the tags unless you want to read so so much #being human uk #i was thinking about this a lot especially wrt the first ep of season 2 where george is being SUCH an ass to nina #and it's a great example of like #they are both going through something extremely traumatic #like to the point where they cannot support one another at all #nina's whole perspective of the world has just changed and she may now be a monster #meanwhile george has killed someone - the thing he's feared most since the beginning - and they didn't show it but #presumably he would have woken up covered in herrick's viscera #like those are two insane things to process no matter who you are #and annie and mitchell cannot help them so they're both just lashing out at each other wondering why no one cares #george and nina have to relive the trauma of being infected every month when they change and go through that painful process #mitchell relives the trauma of being turned every time he feeds or sees the victim of a different vampire #all three of them have to be reminded they are monsters and are a danger to everyone around them #including themselves #and annie relives her trauma every goddam day living in that house #and every time she sees owen #whether she realizes it or not #and she tries to remedy this by feeling needed #and that's another thing about the show!! #how all of them show specific responses to trauma #george and nina react with fear and intense anger #mitchell reacts with a stand-in for addiction - seeking substances or trying desperately to avoid those substances #annie reacts with memory loss and the desire to be needed #and all four of them react by trying to have a normal life while being convinced that they can never have one #and so much more!! #the scene in the second episode where tully tries to kill himself and george just walks away? #that is not normal!! #george is so convinced of being a monster that he will behave like a monster #yes he goes back for him but that initial response is so indicative of what the trauma has done to him so early into the show

[lloydfrontera]

i know it's the logical conclusion and realistically it makes sense to point out that people can only like you so much. but. i really want lloyd to be proven wrong. i really want him to realize there's no limit to how much someone can love you. i want his parents and javier and julien's approval rating to keep going up even when lloyd thinks there's nothing more he can do to earn their love for him. i want him to be able to learn that sometimes love can keep growing every day for no other reason than because the other person is choosing to love you over and over again. i just want him to feel loved just for being him and not for what he does is that too much to ask for?!?

#lloyd frontera #tged #the greatest estate developer #i know it's probably not what the novel is going for but!! i can dream!! #like yeah it's realistic that at one point he won't be able to make people's approval of him keep going up #because there's only so much he can do to make them like him #but like!! love doesn't work like that!! your actions do matter when it comes to whether someone loves you or not #but at one point it also comes to the other person deciding to keep loving you! to choose to keep building upon that foundation!! #and i want lloyd to experience that!! #i want him to realize that yes there is a point where he won't be able to do more to earn more approval from them. but that it doesn't #matter because they love him and everyday they spent with him is one where they love him more #im sorry im a sucker for characters finding out how loved they are by their family and friends do you still think im hot #one thing i do have to say is that tged has always been very clear that actions do matter when it comes to people liking or loving you #like it starts with lloyd taking over the body of someone who by his own actions had made it so everyone hated him #and so he had to earn back the trust and approval of everyone around him #but that's an extreme case! it wasn't even something he had done! but it definitely influenced how he approached everyone around him #because instead of having to just start from 0 and naturally build relationships like it's normally done #he had to work twice as hard to repair what og lloyd had broken #idk i just think it's fascinating and i would love if the novel acknowledged how unfair and actually a little fucked up it was to give him #a system where he had to earn points from his relationships with others and always be aware of how much they either liked or disliked him #(something that would fuck with the self esteem of anyone) #while also putting him in the body of someone who had already done so much to burn bridges with everyone and his damn best to be disliked #but i know it's probably too much to ask for 😅 #i talk a lot <3

[scarletiswailing347]

so the unfortunate thing about me is that, when it comes to the media i consume, i tend to have one 'anchor' (very rarely two) to keep me interested

this is necesary cause i have an incredibly hard time being interested in things in general so i have to purposefully spend my focus on one thing so that i can keep being interested in it cause otherwise i just kinda feel meh about the thing, i mean ill still watch and enjoy it but i wont be as interested as id like to be and may even drop it eventually after struggling to keep interacting with it (this is unfortunately what happened with empires, x-life, yogscast, and the lsmp seasons without mumbo in it)

if i ever drop that anchor whether purposefully or not then i lose interest in everything that ive ever connected to its rope -- i could still enjoy them sure but then at that point theyll just be like every other filler content in my life, like music when im washing the dishes

for hc its mumbo, for dsmp and smplive it was schlatt, for the scrunkly squad its boosfer and baablu

for lifesteal its zam

idk what happened behind the scenes but ill be honest its not looking good and theres a possibility i might have to drop him :/

#mine.txt #not sure yet tho cause without enough context it just feels like im doing something unnecessary that the affected party (lila) #may not necessarily want #i mean intuitively it seems like something that someone would want #guy who hurt you loses support? sounds great right? #but thats not really something everyone wants and i am Very Sensitive to feelings of intrusion whether by me or other ppl #either way im def gonna loosen the hold at the very least #i mean i Could look for another anchor but its a lot harder for me to attach to an anchor if they were attached to another anchor before #so for me to stay interested in something even after the anchor dropped there has to have been another anchor at the same time #like boosfer and baablu with the scrunkly squad #even if one of them drops i can still stay interested in ss (although i may become more focused on one inner circle more than the other) #also ill be honest i just dont really care enough about lifesteal in general to do that #what a shame i really liked zams character too #both drawing and making stories of him #just gonna go hard on baablu and mumbo if it ever happens ig #oh man just realized im gonna drop gen too if and when it happens #nooooo not my saturday morning cartoon T-T #it is what it is ig its not the first time this has hapenned and it wont be the last #honestly the best option for me to stay interested in something is for the plot/lore to be my anchor #unfortunately that very rarely happens cause of how character-driven a lot of stories are #and esp with cc-content its even moreso considering its nature #...just now realizing this May be part of the reason why i love mystery stuff so much #yeah the characters are important but they mean practically nothing without the plot like they wouldnt act the way they do without it

[dylanconrique]

i need lucy to be taken care of. she always goes so far out of her way to help others in need and i love that about her, but i don't think she's had a real break since her recovery from being kidnapped and so much has happened to her since then that i just need her to be hugged and taken care of. not only by tim, but by everyone else too. 🥺💗

#*and this is icarly! #the rookie #tim bradford #lucy chen #otp: you know me so well #she's always been my fave and has had my whole heart from the very beginning that's why i need her to be taken care of 🥺💗 #idc in what context whether she's physically mentally or emotionally hurt i just need someone to wrap this girl up in a big bear hug #tim needs to quote to her 'you take care of everyone but who takes care of you?' can you IMANGINE?!!! #like 'let me do it. let me take care of you.' #breaking my own heart over here 😭😭😭😭😭 #ngl i love angela and nyla as a due but it would be nice to see lucy included with them on occasion 🥺 #watching tonight's episode made me fully realize just how not easy my baby girl has had it :( #sure she's officially dating the man of her dreams but eho does she really have to fall back onto when things aren't working out with them? #ik that's a big question to ask considering their relationship rn is secret and apparently no one has caught on to their little charade #but.... #idk i'm just over analyzing her plotline this episode outside of her relationship with tim and it got me spiraling in my lucy chen feels

[daisyachain]

The brain has been going TsumeTsumeTsume for 2 hours. Admitting he knew from the start what Hige was. Sitting curled up away from the body. Watching the people he kept together when even Kiba couldn’t do it get torn apart. Not running away and still not being able to make a difference. The snarl! The lying! Two of the best English voice actors who have worked together forever screaming at each other! And best of all—I can’t believe I forgot—he knew he’d never be the one!

Which doesn’t just mean he knows he’s ordinary. No, rather, he wondered, he thought, he felt the pull and the desire to be there, he wanted to give himself up to it, and he knew that he would never be enough! All this time he’s been striving towards a goal he had already realized didn’t exist.

#kelsey liveblogs wolf’s rain #this time around i realize he really is the team caretaker #whether he likes them or not he looks out for and cares for everyone in his radius. the gang the wolves even the people #he reaches out to hubb. he fulfils Hige’s request. he spares Kiba the choice between them #more than any other character he has cared for the ones around him. while also being a douche about it #you never forget your first. and now he’s mom’s fave too <3

[victory-cookies]

add another tally to ‘genetic potential for having adhd’ boys. first tick being the fact that my grandfather has it. Second one being that. well I don’t know what my dad has going on but it’s something. Third one being that my sister’s therapist just told her she may have adhd

#at this point I feel like all signs point to audhd #just. the everything about me and the way I am #and then the fact that my family members seem to have smth going on whether they realize it or not #I should probably go see a therapist again #crazy that my sister is getting consistent therapy before me (to be fair she did have some major shit happen #but I also had some major shit happen. I wanted to off myself. I just failed to keep up with seeing my therapist) #problem is I so fear just being one of those ‘tiktok told me I had autism’ people #I fear that I have incorrectly self diagnosed and that there’s actually nothing wrong with me #and I’m just a lazy ass with middling social skills #but then going to get diagnosed is such a big thing. It’s also scary plus it requires me to like. Take initiative #but god. Idk. #Watching the jaidenanimations video where she talks about her audhd diagnosis really hit #like the way she describes stuff hits way to close to home #so it feels like another tick on ‘it’s probably adhd or autism or both’ #and I have this all the time. Basically everyone I know has at least one of those and I feel like I really relate to them #in a lot of relevant ways #but then I try to bring up the possibility to my parents and they just shut it down like ‘lol no you don’t’ #idk. hellworld. I think I am rawdogging mental illness but who knows. Life goes on either way

[fxa]

tumblr is my only social but occasionally i do indulge in visiting other sites and looking up people i didn't like in high school to rejoice in how awful their lives are now

#one of my school bullies had 3 kids and another on the way when we were 20 lol. few years later and now she has 5 kids. different dads too #idc how toxic it is to say this but i love to see a good failure story #like yeah it turns out everyone saying “they bully you because they're unhappy. your life will end up better than theirs” was right! #my life IS better than 100% of the people i hated by the end of high school whether they bullied me or i simply didn't like them #mfw i have a steady white collar job with a pension waiting for me + the best health insurance + i put >25% of each paycheck into savings #it's not like i'm living a high life but none of those people will ever see a retirement working fast food in our hometown til they die 😳 #the funniest ones are who i ended up graduating college with. like babygirl we both had the same opportunities... you CHOSE fast food? okkk #my awesome job isn't even specific to my degree. literally anyone with a bachelors can do it. liiiiiike #keep complaining to facebook about working at Popeyes with your bachelors girl imma bump up my TSP from 10% to 20% real quick #TBH there is not a single person from elementary/middle/high school that i would voluntarily “reconnect” with #the older i get the more i realize i didn't like a single mf from school even if i thought i did at the time. except for my number 1 bestie #i remember at about 16 i slowly cut off all my other friends for various reasons. literally could not have improved my school life more #i didn't make a single friend in college whatsoever and by god was i so happy. i would go to college forever if it were free #professional loner student #damn no wonder i got a personality disorder slapped onto my record 🤨 like ok girlfreak calm down with the edge (@ myself) #anyways thank you social media for letting me see this on the days i wake up feeling petty!!!!!!!!! #bluh

[sitronsangbody]

Please, please be considerate of your fat friends' needs and limitations. Fat bodies are heavy to carry around. I move about the world slower than my thin peers, and I've often had to choose between pushing myself to keep a pace that takes absolutely all my energy, or being left behind, when walking in a group. I don't always feel safe to ask that everyone walk slower, because there's a prevalent idea in society that fat people need to exert themselves as much as possible at all times in the service of weight loss, and that we never "really" need rest, therefore it's a good thing whenever we're exhausted. Fat people and thin people alike are taught that fatness is a flaw, one that fat people ourselves are to blame for, so we're not entitled to any accommodation or consideration. A friend of mine who is fat recently told me about a dinner party she went to where the chairs were far too small for her and she was sitting very uncomfortably. After the meal she politely suggested moving the party to the couch, but the others didn't want to. She spent another couple of hours in unnecessary pain, and didn't dare tell them about it. I love my thin friends, but some of them just don't realize that I weigh probably twice as much as them, and yet I balance it all on the same size feet and carry it on about the same size bones. I'm like if they had a whole other them to carry around at all times. Why would that not have an impact on how I function? Please - take us into consideration when we're part of activities. Ask us which activities work and which don't. Adjust the pace so no one has to be dry heaving and sweating barrels on what's supposed to be a casual walk. Make sure venues have seating that fits us. Make it safe for us to speak up if we need something. When we do, don't treat us like we're the problem. Finally: yes, we have heard of losing weight. Even those of us who might (and many never will, whether you like it or not), won't do it on a moment's notice. If your response to "fat people deserve accommodations" is "what if they weren't fat though", you're playing a fantasy game. It's pointless. We are fat and we are here and we do partake in society. Work with that.

#fat liberation #fatphobia #musings