I was so hurt, I needed to get away from things. I put on my own sweater and my fallshoes, and ran. I ran without stopping to the park by the river and almost passed out when I basically collapsed onto a bench.
The moon was shining so brightly that once in my life I was thankful to the government for not fixing the city lampposts. The moonlight flickered on the gentle waves, and though I was still breathing heavily, I found the dance of light and water relaxing. Thankfully, and awfully strangely, no one was out that night.
I stared blankly in front of myself for God knows how long, with my elbows on my knees, thinking about nothing. With a sharp breath I straightened myself and leaned back and crossed my arms and legs. I was still staring mindlessly at the water. Then it came. The inevitable river of my own, sprung from eyes, flowed. I couldn't see anything just the silvery sparkles. I looked up at the sky hoping my tears would stop falling, but they did not.
I remember crying felt so good, so relieving that I started laughing a bit. I wasn't sobbing violently, but I let it all out. And it felt so much better than any other time I could recall. Some time passed again after I'd calmed down.
As I was sitting there, admiring the moon, tired smile on my face, legs pulled up and rested my chin on my knees, someone suddenly sat down beside me and spoke.
"Good evening."
It was him. I recognized him and I knew he didn't: I was wearing a sweater he'd never seen and I pulled my hood over my head. I only nodded in response.
"I don't know anyone else I could say this to." Then he said I was only a stranger and the chances of us meetings again were low. Because I didn't respond in any way, he continued.
"I messed up. Me and my fian-" he sighed, "my ex-fiancee, I guess, had a fight."
"And?" I whispered, so he wouldn't recognize me, looking in front of me. "Did you have fights before."
He scoffs.
"Plenty. Sometimes playful, sometimes not, but we've always come to an agreement, a compromise and could speak openly and honest." He paused for a moment and sighed longingly. "But I decided to be a dumblebee and forget how much I love her."
"What did you do?"
"I... cheated."
"Do you think she'll ever forgive you?"
"Yes..."
"But?"
"But she'll never forget."
He started crying. He grasped his hair with both hands, crunched over and stared at the pavement with wide eyes as tears fell.
"I've just scarred the one that I care for outmostly for the rest of her life. I mean, she already had trust issues!" he yelled, taking me by surprise. I've never seen him so upset, so emotional, only once.
"Seriously! How screwed up is that!" he laughed softly with a thrown back head.
"You could always give her some space. She'll need time to recover. Let her reach out to you," I suggested still in the same pose.
"You think she would?"
I nodded.
"Heh. I guess I'm just scared she won't be there when I go back."
I was choking on a lump in my throat.
"I think she will."
No, she won't.
"Bless you." he stood up. "Thank you for listening to a sad, pitiful man."
I couldn't look at him. I was confused. Thoughts were running in circles like crazy sheep. He cheated, but he was truly sorry. He lied, but he was truly sorry. He knew he shouldn't do something like that, yet he did so anyway. I couldn't figure it out.
But communication is key in every relationship, let it be romantic, platonic, familiar or whatever. If you don't talk it out, you won't my it through.
And if I postpone this matter, when will I solve it? The sooner the better.
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Happy Friday!! Today on the blog I’m sharing some fall outfit inspiration and finally sharing my thoughts on everything I bought in the #nsale Even though it is over, some pieces are still affordable and I’m sharing which ones are worth the extra money 😉 check out my post (link in bio) and let me know, which piece is your favorite? 🍂🐿🎃 • • • #fallfashion #fallfashion2018 #fallshoes #fallinspiration
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Fall shoe bootie, suede, comes in this Gorgeous Blue and a classy black. This pair will set that outfit off just right. BOOT AND SHOE SALE #womenbooties #shoebooties #fallshoes #dressshoesformen #suede #bluesuedeshoes @val.omniviewshop https://www.instagram.com/p/CFI8cVQnB6G/?igshid=7souooy86s5o
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#Repost @enzoangiolini (with @report.for.insta) ... Fresh twist on a classic: the Philoni pointed toe bootie, available @nordstrom. #enzoangiolini #fallshoes (at Durham, North Carolina) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6MG8kMJt4f/?igshid=5ykcrwodik1s
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