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#finally watched the social network
fishandshesmygills · 8 months
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the social network (2010)
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eat-men-like-air · 1 month
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SORRY MY PRADAS AT THE CLEANERS! Along with my hoodie and my fuck you flip flops, you pretentious douchebag!
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torchiiko · 3 months
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i Had!! a super awesome day btw !! :3
i had fun shopping & i got a door hanger so i can finally hang stuff up
in flight rising i got a ton of cool drops from battling!! i got a bunch of genes & even!! an unhatched egg!! which are very cool & rare!!!
& i made mutual server & im excited abt it i hope ppl like it as much as i do xp
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372516177474646362 · 9 months
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'Hand Covers Bruise' by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross from The Social Network (2010) is something that can be so personal
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saltpepperbeard · 4 months
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Be a Lighthouse - Fight For OFMD Season 3
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Hi everyone. The news of our cancellation is both incredibly devastating, and quite shocking considering the trajectory of the show and its fanbase. Everything looked like it was lining up in a positive fashion...only for the rug to get yanked out from under us.
I cried. I went numb. I stared at the wall for a while.
But then, something sparked. Like Ed who was resolved to his fate in S1Ep4 only to rocket back upwards, I was struck with a realization: we need to be a lighthouse!
Fanbases have campaigned before, and have gotten results. Sense8 was able to get a two hour finale to properly wrap everything up. Lucifer was able to get picked up by Netflix after being cancelled by Fox. Brooklyn 99 was able to get picked up by NBC after being cancelled by Fox. And many more examples.
Be it a proper renewal, a finale wrap that entails Ed and Stede's wedding, or the attention from another network, I say we fight that good fight. So, here are some ways we can be heard; if you think of any additional points, please feel free to add them!
If you don't cancel your Max Subscription, continue watching the show and leaving feedback on Max's online feedback form. I had a kneejerk reaction when cancellation was announced and pulled the plug...only to sit back and reconsider. I want them to still get my metrics. I want them to still see the show means something to me. And whether that's through words or statistics, I feel like that's something.
2. Follow @renewasacrew and keep up with their resources/campaigns. They're very active and passionate, and have already come up with different ways to fight for our show.
3. Sign the petition to give us just that little bit more of a chance to have our voices heard.
4. Stay active on social media, and stay positive. Continue sharing how much this show means to us. Continue creating. Continue loving. Use hashtags like-
#RenewAsACrew
#SaveOFMD
#RenewOFMD
#BeALighthouse
#OFMDSeason3
or anything equivalent on any and all OFMD-related posts. Keep the buzz about it going on social media. Comment on posts, keep spreading the word, and get the light burning.
5. Renewasacrew has given us another outlet; an official HBO email address. Write an email detailing your personal experience with this show, and how significant a third season would be.
6. Tweet/email other platforms to pique their interest. Be it Amazon Prime, Hulu, Netflix, or whoever else, let's see if we can't catch someone else's attention. A romcom with iconic LGBT representation seems pretty enticing if you ask me!
This show means the world to me. Y'all mean the world to me. So let's show them why. Let's show them why, and get the proper ending we, the cast and crew, and the characters all deserve.
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ccsainzleclerc5516 · 2 months
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Lovers
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader (y/n)
Warnings: smut!!, cheating
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the background of the story: a few months ago you decided to visit your friend Sophie who lives in Monaco. Sophie has been in a relationship with Carlos for a while, and his teammate Charles is in a relationship with a girl (Ava) who isn't with him for the right reasons and doesn't really care about him. due to a combination of circumstances, you stayed in Monaco to live in Sophie's apartment and started running social networks for Ferrari, filming behind the scenes and similar things. From the very beginning, you and Charles have a love-hate relationship. He keeps sending you mixed signals and you never know where you're standing with him. A few weeks before you locked yourself out of the apartment, you shared a kiss that you couldn't stop thinking about…and neither could he.
Y/n's POV
After about half an hour of waiting in front of the locked door, the elevator opens and the eagerly awaited Charles steps out. Of course he had to be the one to come and 'save' me because who else would it be? Our relationship has not changed much in these months. Somehow I also accepted that that kiss happened once and that was it. After all he is taken so I forced myself to stop thinking about him entirely.
As he steps out of the elevator, at first he doesn't say anything but just smirks at me.
"Please, just don't say anything." I say as he comes in front of me pulling out the keys from the pocket of his jeans. He was looking as handsome as always wearing a simple white oversized t-shirt and light washed baggy jeans. No one could ever pull off rings, bracelets and sunglasses the way he does with his perfectly messy curls.
"Y/n." He says putting the key into the lock. "Wasn't going to." As the door finally opens I see smoke coming from the kitchen. My lasagna..
"No, no, no, no!" Horrified and worried, I start repeating, running towards the kitchen, begging God that I didn't set someone else's kitchen on fire and that only the lasagna was harmed.
"What is happening?" Charles runs after me.
"Oh thank God.." I breathe a sigh of relief when I see that nothing is burning in the kitchen except for my lasagna, which turned completely black.
"What exactly are you thanking God for?" He asked mockingly, watching me take the tray of unrecognizable lasagna out of the oven.
"I'm thanking Him for not accidentally setting this whole apartment on fire."
"You're a real danger Y/N." He laughs leaning over the counter. "Like in every possible way." And I join him. I feel like I'm in love with these so beautiful and yet so rare moments of laughter with Charles.
"Thank you for coming here with the keys. I really don't know how else I'd manage to enter the apartment since Sophie and Carlos are in Madrid."
"That lasagna would be a nice thank you for having to come here, but since you're such a great cook.." He mocks again, but I don't mind it.
"Oh stop it!" I wave my hand and open the fridge to see what's left in there. "Well, I don't have anything else left to offer you except beer?"
"I'll take it."
One beer for me, one for him, one for him, one for me, and then again one for him, one for me and so the hours went by without even realizing that it was already dark outside. We were sitting on the floor on the carpet in front of the couch. The TV was on, but we got into talking so much that no one paid attention to it.
"I still can't believe Carlos and Sophie are getting married." Charles says taking another sip from the bottle.
"I personally think it's a bit too fast 'cause they've been together for only like a year, but if they feel like that's it, then I'm all for it. He's head over heels for her."
"Yeah, I guess when you know you know."
"Besides, it's perfect timing since she's pregnant with him so-"
"What?!" At that moment I realize that my tongue works faster than my mind and I pour out Sophie's secret to Charles.
"Oh no no! Forget it please!" I don't know what was I trying to achieve with this? Maybe erase his memory?
"Sophie's pregnant? Carlos is going to be a dad?!" He asks unable to wrap his mind around the fact.
"Yes, yes they're having a baby, but please be quiet about it because literally no one knows but me. Carlos is just about to find out."
"Oh my God..I can't believe it." I notice that his face drops a bit. He doesn't seem all that excited about the rather exciting news. After all Carlos is his best friend. Or at least one of them.
"What?" I ask. "Aren't you excited for him?"
"I am, of course. But it just got me thinking how so much good things is happening to him - he's getting podiums, every weekend he gets better and better, he's getting married, now excepting a child and then I'm over here feeling like I'm fucking stuck in a place..I don't know." This is the first time that after 3 and a half months of knowing Charles he is showing his vulnerable side. He is finally opening up to me and we're finally having a meaningful conversation.
"Why are you feeling stuck in a place?"
"I don't know how to explain it. Nothing's pushing me forward, I feel empty. I feel like I'm waiting on something, but it's not coming." I'm trying to read between the lines what he is trying to tell with this, but unsuccessfully. "I'm fucking struggling."
"Charles.." I listen to him with a heavy heart and wish to hug him and wipe the sadness away. "I'm sorry that you feel this way. What about Ava? Shouldn't she be your motivation?"
"She should be my motivation." He says with a sneer. "Except that's not the case. I once wanted her to be the one to push me forward, but now I'm not even sure if I want it to be her. She's never fucking there and I got tired." I remember when Lando said that he's never talking about his relationship with them and yet here he is talking about it to me, almost a stranger to him, even though it's obviously painful for him to share his feelings.
"If the relationship no longer makes you happy and fulfilled, then why not put an end to it?" I honestly ask him dying to know his answer.
"It's not as simple as it seems. She's Ava Wolff." He says taking a look at my eyes. "And I would like to change the subject now."
"Okay." I decide not to push it. The time will come when he will say that too. "But, just so you know I like you tonight." I say trying to light up the mood and succeed when he chuckles.
"Really? Well I guess better late than never. But, just so you know I've liked you since the Monaco GP." He says and starts playing with the red bracelet I gave him that day for good luck remembering how devastated he was that day because he didn't perform well and his girlfriend wasn't even there at his home race.
I start to stir in place from his words trying to hide the fact that he made me blush. He notices it anyway and pulls himself closer to me.
"Why are you so nervous?" He asks calmly looking straight at me as I tried to look anywhere but his mesmerizing green eyes.
"I'm not." I say quite softly and uncertainly. He scoots even closer to me, so close that I can feel the warmth of his breath on the skin of m neck. He is facing me while I am facing the TV. My heart is beating so harsh I can feel it pounding against my rib cage.
"Y/n.."
"Hm?"
"I've been trying really hard to forget about it," He says, referring to the kiss we shared, as he moves a strand of my hair behind my ear and keeps his palm on my cheek. "I just can't seem to." Before I can even think of anything to say, our eyelids slightly start closing and our lips meet.
At that moment everything becomes less important, neither of us breaks the kiss, we decide to save the "this is wrong" and "we shouldn't, we have to stop" for later.
He kissed me so delicately, his lips softly brushed mine. He was so careful caressing my cheek with his thumb and the kiss was so tender leaving me wanting more.
"Charles.." I breathe out whispering.
"Don't overthink this, please. I'm dying to kiss you over and over again." His words were enough to erase any doubt in me whether I wanted this or not. They got me hooked eagerly wanting more of whatever this was. Once the kiss turned from gentle to passionate, then firmer and more determined, I knew I desperately needed him in every way that there is.
"I want you." I was trying to refrain from moaning since he hasn't even touched me properly yet and I was already a mess.
"You have me so easily. Come here." He pulls me into his lap so I straddle him without breaking the kiss. I worked my mouth against his while his hands were roaming my body under my oversized t-shirt. Once he reached the bra clasp he stopped for a second to take a look at my eyes asking for permission to remove it.
"Take it off." I whisper and seconds later the bra was thrown to the side. With one hand he cupped my breast and with the other he pulled me down making me grind on his stiffened crotch. He threw his head back groaning as I pressed myself against him.
"Fuck, take these off." He says tugging at the hem of my shorts. I obediently do as he orders, taking my t-shirt off along the way and in a matter of seconds I'm sitting in his lap only in my panties completely revealing myself to him. He takes a second to admire my naked body with hungry eyes and slightly parted lips eyeing me up and down.
"You're so beautiful, fuck." My heart flutters at his sweet comment even though I didn't want him to be sweet-talking to me. I wanted him to tell me how much he wanted me, what he would do to me, and how he wanted to have me.
His hand found its way to my panties rubbing me over them feeling the now already damp lace fabric. "You're soaking, is this for me? Have I made you feel this wet?" He wasn't even trying to hide the smug on his face. I gasp at his words and his touch, but he wanted to hear me. "Answer me."
"It's all for you." He pulls my panties aside and starts rubbing small and slow torturous circles on my clit.
"This isn't the first time that you're wet for me now is it?" He murmurs against my lips and I gulp panting. "I know it isn't. I know you've been thinking about me." He glides his fingers over my wet folds up and down before he slips his middle finger inside me. I wince at the the coldness of his finger, but soon start moving my hips against his hand.
"Look at you.. So hot, so eager for me. I've been getting hard thinking about you and your innocent lips wrapped around me even though they're anything but innocent." He slips another finger inside me and I almost finish right away at the profanities that he's telling against my skin. I start to unbutton his pants while he takes of his shirt. He lifts himself up on the couch and I stay down on my knees between his legs. I pull his boxers down his legs revealing the long shaft that sprung off his hitting his lower stomach. I decided to tease him a little and start working my tongue everywhere but the tip where he needed me the most. Once again he throws his head back in pleasure desperate for my touch around him and I enjoy every second of listening him moaning my name. I lick his balls and gently dig my nails into the skin of his thighs. He tries to grab himself, but I stop his hand and put it back on the side.
"Wrap your lips around me, you're driving me insane." I smirk as I see him on almost begging for me. It doesn't take long until I do ad he pleases taking his shaft and giving it a few strokes before I start bobbing my head up and down paying special attention to his aching red tip.
"You're taking it so well for me, so fucking beautiful." His words are prompting while he's moving hair out of my face and collecting it into a ponytail so he can lead my head. I continue doing what I was fastening my pace until he stops me taking my chin between his fingers.
"I don't wanna cum like this and if you continue I sure fucking will. I need to feel you around me. Do you want me to fuck you, hm?"
"Yes, Charles fuck I do." I pant as the aching feeling between my legs rises. He pulls me up by my elbows and I straddle him again as he pulls me again for another long kiss his tongue fiercely wrestling mine. He takes his shaft into his hand prepping it a bit before positioning it on my center. I don't wait for him to pull me down on him, I do it myself rolling my hips against him at first slowly so I can adjust to his length and enjoy every second of the feeling of him inside of me.
"Yes baby ride me, you're so good for me. You do it so good." Butterflies errupt in my stomach at him calling me baby. His thumb brushes over my lower lip and I hold onto his hand. His other hand slides down to rub circles on my clit again and I feel my legs starting to shake.
"Oh Charles, Charles.." I cry out his name clenching around him.
"Eyes on me." He lifts up my chin making me look him in the eyes while I come undone around him and he starts working his hips upwards wanting to prolong my climax. I try to squirm away as the excessive feeling of pleasure overwhelms me and sensitivity takes over. Charles stops me by tightly wrapping his strong arms around me hugging me and hiding his face in the crook of my neck leaving trail of small gentle kisses.
"That's it. You're doing so well for me. Can you keep going?" I nod my head yes and he's quick to turn me over and lay me down onto the couch. He pulls himself out of me and presses himself against my stomach his lips never leaving my neck. I tug on his hair with one hand and with the other slide my nails down his back.
"Kiss me." I plead and he does so. He teases me with his tip going over my now too sensitive and wet folds.
"Will you be able to cum for me one more time?"
"I don't know.." I whisper with a trembling voice. "But I don't wanna stop." That's all it takes for him to push himself deep inside me tiredlessly working his hips in and out of me.
"You're so fucking tight." He attaches his lips to my hard nipples flicking his tongue arounf them and nibbling on them making me whine out his name.
"Charles..oh yes."
"So fucking hot hearing you moan my name." He says. "Fuck, what you do to me..Touch yourself for me."
I slide my hand between us down to my clit making quick circular movements and the sight of me touching myself drives him completely crazy it has him rolling his eyes and panting.
"Fuck, baby I'm close, I'm gonna cum." He starts moving his hips faster hitting my walls making me clench myself around him and screaming out his name as I finish one more time. Seconds later he pulls out stroking himself at fast pace and cumming all over my stomach.
Barely catching his breath he gives me a peck on the lips before falling onto me and I close my eyes playing with his locks.
Leaving Charles on the couch, I get up and head towards the bathroom. I slide down my now completely soaked panties and step inside the shower. As the lukewarm water hits my skin, I let out a deep breath and close my eyes letting myself go through all the emotions that have accumulated in me in the last few hours.
Guilt washes over me because I don't feel guilty and because I know I'd do this all over again with him. I have never before experienced something so passionate, sensual, exciting and satisfying, something that left me wanting more of him. I find myself smiling thinking about him and what we just did, but even though i don't want to let myself expect anything, I forgive myself this time because i'm still under the impression of him tightly gripping my body, kissing me all over my neck and calling me 'baby'.
I hear the sound of the shower door opening and soon Charles' hands are resting on my waist and his lips are pressing against my shoulder. I smile tilting my head to the side.
"You're washing me off yourself already?"
"I was hoping you'd come." I turn to face him wrapping my arms around his neck. He leans in to kiss me only this time slowly and gently. "Can I ask you something?" I ask and he nods. "Are you drunk?" He chuckles at my somewhat funny question. It was clear to me that he couldn't get drunk from 3 cans of beer, I just wanted to check how aware he was of our actions. I wanted to get out of him how he felt about this, I wanted him to tell me something, even though at the same time I was afraid of what I would hear. I didn't want anything to ruin these moments, even though I was very curious and impatient.
"Drunk off of you only." I blush leaning my head into the crook of his neck, but he sensed what I was getting at. "Let's not think about anything and enjoy the moment, okay?" He presses a kiss to my forehead and I feel relieved although on the verge of overthinking this.
"Are you tired?" He asks quietly against the skin of my neck.
"A little bit." I gasp letting my eyes close. "Why?" Just as I asked the question, I felt him slowly pressing himself against me.
"Because I can't get enough of you." His tonuge slides over my bottom lip asking for permission and I let him in without any hesitation. "I want to hear you moan my name again." He says into my ear abruptly turning me around and pressing me against the shower wall. He pushes himself inside of me and starts thrusting in and out again further and further.
"Charles.." The slapping of our wet skin echoed throughout the bathroom.
"How are you so tight, fuck.." His pace picked up and I could feel both of us were close. "I'm close baby, I'm not gonna last long."
My back was arched and I held onto the glass with my palms. Soon my legs started shaking and his hips stuttering against me as we both finished at the same time. The moans filled the small space inside the shower as we were coming down from our highs. I was so weak, the strength in my legs long gone I would've fallen down if he hadn't held me.
"Are you okay? Talk to me." He asks gently caressing my cheek.
"I am." I smile assuring him with a kiss. "Let's take a shower and go to bed okay?"
"Okay."
After we showered and dried off with towels, we went to my room and got into bed. Neither of us said anything, he just pulled me close and held me tight around the waist as if I was going to run away any second. There wasn't even any need to say anything. Being in his arms, feeling his breathing on my skin felt so safe, so intimate that I wished this would never end.
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loveemagicpeace · 5 months
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✨Mercury Retrograde✨
✨Mercury, will be moving backward in retrograde motion from Capricorn to Sagittarius, starting from 13 December until 2 January. This Mercury will be serious but at the same time optimistic. If you are planning a trip, it is better to check beforehand that everything is in its place. Remember to stay relaxed and go with the flow to enjoy the Christmas spirit. You might bump into people you haven’t spoken to in quite some time.
⭐️Capricorn rising - Since this retrograde is in your sign will gain a lot. You can start thinking more about your appearance, personality. During this time, you can also do more for your appearance. Exes are coming back for sure. Long-lost friends are reemerging, and it’s a lot happening all at once. During this time, you can meet a lot of people you haven't seen in a long time. You are the one in control here. You can decide whatever you want and whatever you don't want. If you want someone to come back in your life it's okay and if you don't kick them out. The start of a new cycle is coming. It’s time to remember the person you’ve always been.
☁️Sagittarius rising-there will be a lot of emphasis on your values ​​and the things you value. Mercury will forcing you to reflect on your self-worth and spending habits. You’re being exposed to different people with different mindsets right now. This retrograde will force you to correct the bad habits that have made your sense of self dependent. Now is not the best time to make major decisions when it comes to your appearance, especially if you’re considering getting a tattoo or a dramatic haircut.
💚Aquarius rising- This retrograde is lighting up your chart’s 12th house, the hidden zone of isolation and the completion of cycles. You can spend a lot of time thinking about the past. Your sign is most likely to deal with exes during this retrograde, too. Take a long walk. Have a conversation with your inner self. Do whatever it takes to know what your inner voice sounds like. You may find yourself mingling in certain crowds from your past during the holidays, especially if you’ve changed a lot since you last saw them. You could find yourself suddenly at odds with your friends and extended network, feeling as though you don’t fit in.
💘Pisces rising- you will spend a lot of time in your dreams, goals, decisions. You will be much more social than usual. You will probably go to some events or be in more public places. You have to watch out for friends ( new people) because they can quickly turn into enemies. Maybe there can be some drama about friendships. Mercury will re-enter your 10th house of career, legacy, and public-facing image. You may run into complications related to social media. Now is the time to finally settle what needs to be settled in your profession.
❤️Aries rising- The most public part of your chart is being lit up by this Mercury Retrograde, so people are watching you. There can be a lot going on & you can go on a trip or you can go somewhere for a short trip. There can be things about work also. While this retrograde offers opportunity to develop relationships, too, be careful in doing so. It’s time to think outside of the box when it comes to problems related to your social standing.There may be people who need you. You may be returning to abandoned or unfinished projects and reworking the direction you’ve been headed.
🫧Taurus rising- there can be a lot of hidden things & some secrets coming out. You can feel more isolated or doing things in the shadow. Maybe you can be more inspiring to deep things and being deep with people or having deep conversations with people or finding out some truth about someone or something. Missing a bus or plane can very easily happen to you. This could confuse your inner compass and take you down an unexpected path. Allow the wind to take you somewhere that is both fascinating and confronting.
💚Gemini rising- this mercury retrograde will affect your 7th and 8th house. So this mean it could be all about your relationship , starting a new relationship or having maybe problems in your relationship or something change in your relationship in general. Something related to finances, investments ,money from other people. This retrograde could trigger deep sensitivities, especially when it comes to unfinished business from your past that you’re still not over.
⚡️Cancer rising- Relationship drama incoming! This retrograde is bringing back your exes. Things are going to feel different for a while as you adjust. Time to start processing how much progress you’ve made, because you don’t need someone else to complete you. You may find that you did certain projects incorrectly, directing you to correct your errors. This time can also be important for your health. You will start to think more about your body.
💋Leo rising- Life can be a kind of a mess right now. It’s time to take a long look at the habits you rely on and the routines that carry you through your day. This mercury is great for you to just be in your comfortable bed watching some good movie. This retrograde could conspire to bring you back into the embrace of an old lover, allowing you to remember what lights the spark in your life. It could also bring you back to creative projects that you’ve abandoned, reigniting your inspiration.
🌛Virgo rising- You always feel Mercury retrograde intensely. You can think more about people from the past with whom you had a good time. Maybe you can think more seriously about the person who gave you a good feeling. You can think more about your romance or falling in love. Maybe you can think more about having fun and taking a risk. This can challenging you to reconnect with the things you’re truly passionate about. You may even reconnect with a former flame that can remind you what you desire and how your desires have changed. But also will be in your fourth house of home and family, which could bring up early childhood memories that are difficult to talk about.
🌸Libra rising-some things maybe will not go the way you wanted them to go. There can be miscommunications or you're just not being in the mood to have conversations with people. Packages can be late and things will not go as planned as you would like them to go. Maybe some things in home can go wrong. But this is also a perfect opportunity to declutter and spruce up your living space. This will allow you to refresh your home without committing to a drastic change. It will encourage you to heal your relationship with your roots.
❄️Scorpio rising-Mercury Retrograde is in your chart’s communication zone, and that means that finding the right thing to say is tough. Make sure that you will double check your emails , text & everything. Maybe you can change your perspective on some things or something can come over on your mind or you can think about things that usually don't think about. You may spend the holidays dealing with money-related stress. Just enjoy in the little things and be comfortable with the things you like food, music ,friends. It’s all about being comfortable and enjoying.
-Rebekah☁️🍸🫧
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cipheramnesia · 4 months
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I saw you tagged the post re: X with 'stop joining Bluesky' -- can I ask why that is?
Because Twitter has always been a godawful form of social media, news, and networking. Elon Musk turned it into something unusable but in its usable state it had and continues to have an appalling effect on complex ideas and nuanced information. The nature of its character limit forced everything to a reductive sound-bite which effectively enshittified information propagation online, and its enshrinement as the "official" social media site for any person or entity to issue information or communication through dragged everyone down into the same level of garbage communication and analytical skills.
A website like Bluesky which only has "the same interface as Twitter prior to Elon Musk" as a selling point, isn't better for anyone. A short form character limited blogging site is fine as a gimmick and okay for simple person to person communication, which was more or less the original purpose of Twitter. It's absolutely shit for a central hub site for global information. The idea that Twitter's short form format and layout made it useful and popular needs to die immediately. The idea that information should be shared universally in short bites needs to die immediately.
What happened with Twitter, not with Elon Musk's purchase, but from the instant it gained media dominance, is fucking horrible, possibly one of the worst things to happen to online communication in its entirety. Go anywhere you want to get away from X, but for all that is good and hopeful in the world do not put any version of whatever constitutes your "personal official online presence" onto any site resembling any iteration of Twitter.
There is a window of opportunity to finally, finally be free from what Twitter did, but it is closing fast. I don't think very many people remember what it has been like watching information literacy collapsing in real time around Twitter, and I don't think there is much hope of killing that format, and I don't think it's going to solve every problem. But if somehow we do find a way to drive a stake not just through Twitter itself but the foundational ideals it represents, we will have made forward progress.
Kill the idea of Twitter that lives in your head. Don't reproduce the same mistakes just because it's familiar to use. For all our sakes, tweets must die.
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togrowoldinv · 6 months
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Everything Has Changed
Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader
You’re vying for the Avengers to choose you as one of the Shield agents to go on a mission with them. Nat performs her own evaluation and you grow closer
Note: Some soft Nat! It was going to come out yesterday but my nephew was born lol. Enjoy this one!
Natasha Masterlist 1, Natasha Masterlist 2, Natasha Masterlist 3, Main Masterlist
“Agents, we will have a very special guest for training today,” Maria Hill’s voice sounds from the entrance of the gym.
You and all of the other agents stand up straighter in her presence. Soon, she’ll be choosing the best agents to go on a mission with some of the Avengers.
You have been working extremely hard to make sure that one of those agents is you.
Agent Hill walks to the center of the room. You keep your attention on her as she instructs everyone to warm up. It’s hard to pretend not to notice when the special guest arrives. Her steps are light, but her presence is undoubtable.
Still, you keep your focus on warming up with the other agents. Some simple stretches and laps to get your blood flowing.
“Okay, focus up,” Maria says, bringing everyone together.
Chatter erupts at the sight of her standing next to Maria. The Black Widow. Natasha Romanoff. You were all expecting the usual special guests, like Steve Rogers or Agent Coulson.
“For training today, I’ve asked Agent Romanoff to join us. As she will be on the upcoming mission, she has some say in what agents will come along,” Maria explains. “Agent Romanoff, is there anything you’d like to share?”
Natasha takes her time before she answers. You wonder what is running through her head as she looks at each and every agent in the room. You swear her eyes linger on you for the longest amount of time.
“I’m not one for speeches,” Natasha finally speaks. “That’s more Cap’s area of expertise, as I’m sure you all have had to deal with.” A few chuckles fill the room. “Let’s see what we’re working with.”
Agent Hill gives everyone assignments for the next hour of training. She and Natasha walk around and observe. You never hear Natasha say as much as two words as she watches. At the end of the hour, the agents circle up again.
“I will choose a few of you to spar with me,” Natasha explains. She says a few agent’s names before she says yours at the very end. Your heart drops to your stomach.
“The rest of you can be dismissed,” Maria Hill adds. The five agents that were chosen, including you, remain in the room.
Natasha goes in order that she called the names out, so you are the last to spar with her. Everyone else lasts under a few minutes with her.
“You ready?” She asks you, a smirk on her face.
“Yes ma’am,” you reply, trying your best to sound confident.
Nat swings first, not pulling her punches at all. She lands a blow on your ribcage. You respond by taking a lunge at her, but she blocks your attempts at hitting her. You try not to let it rattle you.
“Try again,” she says. “Follow my eyes. Try to see what I’m going to do next.”
You nod and reset your feet. This time you manage to block her first swing, but the second one lands hard on your abdomen. You fall back a bit but regain your balance. This process repeats for a few minutes before Nat calls it.
You sigh and fall back in line. Maria dismisses you all for the day after explaining that the five of you are to attend a Stark event tonight. There is more to the job than just fighting, she says.
The rest of the day is spent with you preparing for the next day and getting ready for the party. Stark events are notoriously good opportunities to network, so you prepare yourself for being socially burnt out by the end of the night.
Once you arrive at the party, you find the other agents and get a drink together. There is a lot of laughing and cutting up. Someone brings up Natasha and things get a little more interesting.
“I’m just saying someone that beautiful cannot be as good as they say she is,” one agent says.
“I don’t know, man. I’ve heard she has more kills than anyone else here combined,” another adds.
“Guys, come on she’s just a pretty face,” someone says.
“No,” you jump in, your voice a little too loud. “She’s a hero. You guys know that. She is not just a pretty face,” you say.
You storm off and don’t notice that Natasha was standing near you. She heard everything. Nat walks by the agents and they all look away sheepishly. The bartender hands her the drinks she asks for and she leaves the room.
Standing on the roof of the building, you look out onto the city. You don’t know why it got under your skin so bad that the other agents were calling Nat’s abilities into question. Maybe you just don’t like bullies.
Your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of heels on the concrete. You turn around to assess the threat.
“Sorry if I startled you,” Natasha says.
“No, that’s okay.”
“Mind if I join you?” Natasha asks, offering you a smile. You nod. She walks your side and holds out a glass to you. “I wasn’t sure what you were drinking.”
“Thank you, Agent Romanoff,” you say, accepting the drink.
“Natasha is fine,” she says. “Or Nat.”
“Y/n,” you offer her your first name.
“I know who you are, y/n,” Nat says.
“Oh.”
Nat takes a breath and rests her arms on the edge of the building. You don’t know what to say, but it doesn’t feel awkward.
“Maria will tell you tomorrow, but you were selected for the mission,” Natasha says.
You can’t help the smile that creeps onto your face. It’s what you’ve been working for for so long now. You take a sip of your drink and look out at the city again.
“Are you excited?” Natasha asks, taking note of your body language.
“Yeah,” you answer. “Thank you for choosing me.”
“It was a group decision. You’ve earned it, y/n. You went toe to toe with everyone, including me,” Natasha says.
“I’m pretty sure I didn’t go toe to toe with you,” you say with a light comedic tone to hide your frustration.
“You did,” Nat argues. “Well, more than anyone else did. Seems to them I'm just a pretty face."
"You heard that?" You ask her, turning to face her. She nods. "I'm sorry."
"It's alright," Nat says. "I'm used to it. I also heard you defending me."
"Oh, yeah."
"You don't think I'm pretty?" Natasha asks, a hint of teasing in her tone.
You're sure your face cannot hide your reaction to her words. A heat creeps up your neck.
"Oh, no. You're so beautiful, Natasha," you say.
"You're beautiful, too. Very much so," Nat replies.
You smile shyly. Natasha feels herself falling for you. You realize how late it is when your phone dings in your purse.
"I should probably get some sleep so I can be ready for the mission," you say.
"Right," Nat agrees. "Maybe after the mission, we can see each other more often."
"I would love that," you reply.
"Goodnight, y/n."
"Goodnight, Natasha," you reply.
Before you step away from her, she leans close and drops a kiss on your cheek. It's soft, and delicate but perfect.
You can't wait to get to know her better.
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vaspider · 1 year
Note
youve got a lot of really great thoughts on a transphobia and homophobia, tbh more critical thinking than most people on here, and i was wondering how much you knew about the theory of rapid onset gender dysphoria/if youd be comfortable sharing your thoughts on the ridiculous idea
It was explicitly invented by transphobes as a means of delegitimizing trans identity, and that invention was backed up by a "study" in which the person running the study never spoke to any trans people or to any professionals providing care for trans people, only spoke to the parents of trans minors, and those parents were specifically recruited from forums for anti-trans parents.
The paper which supposedly coined ROGD was taken down for a while and corrected. Further studies have found no basis for ROGD.
What's really interesting is in the cache of emails which became public earlier this year from a former detransitioner there's a paper trail which pretty clearly indicates that the term was actually created on a very heinous website called 4th/wave/now (forgive my anti-search slashes, these people are awful) well prior to the study.
Hey, you want to guess where the parents for this study were recruited from? If you guessed "the one where the term was invented," you're right!
But wait, there's more!
It appears from the journalistic work done by Mother Jones, Jude Doyle, and Julia Serano, that this term was created by an anti-trans activist who works extensively with right-wing think tanks and who went to great lengths to hide that she invented the term.
Jude Doyle:
Finding anti-trans narratives that would “sell” to the general public was a constant concern for this crowd, and Shupe says it didn’t much matter if the narratives were based in fact or not. Marchiano, for instance, eagerly watched the spread of the ROGD theory — “[transfeminist writer and researcher Julia] Serano has already written a takedown,” she exulted in one August 2018 email. Shupe suspects Marchiano’s role is larger than the public knows: “Marchiano never explicitly said she is the inventor of ROGD, but the evidence points to her, and she’s listed as a contributor to the [Lisa Littman] study on PLOS One,” she writes to me. “My ‘opinion’ is that Marchiano and the 4thWaveNow folks are behind the ROGD study, and Littman merely fronted it for them to make it appear unbiased.”
Jude Doyle again:
On July 2, Shupe sent Marchiano a link to Jones’ blog post telling her “you’ve upset Zinnia again.” (Shupe had a tendency to send Marchiano news of ROGD, and to attribute the theory to “you” — that is, to Marchiano — whether Marchiano was explicitly named or not. In the communications I’ve reviewed, Marchiano does not reject the attribution.) Marchiano responded by saying that Jones had done something to “make her nervous” — namely, she’d dug up a blog post about ROGD that Marchiano had written under her own name.
Julia Serano:
If all of this is true — that Marchiano ran YCTP and invented ROGD — then it would follow that Marchiano was also likely skepticaltherapist, the supposed parent of a trans child who invented the idea of “transgender social contagion” in the first place.
Julia Serano again:
Also on March 15, 2016, at 6:07am (so very early in the day, likely before the aforementioned YTCP piece is published), skepticaltherapist posts her final comment on 4thwavenow before mysteriously disappearing. In a reply to someone named Starrymessenger, skepticaltherapist says: 'I wanted to mention that this month’s Psychotherapy Networker is focusing on trans youth issues, and the tone of each article is uncritically celebratory — lots of mentions of “courage,” and “bravery.” You may need a subscription or at least an account to comment, but I have so far.'
At the time of this comment, "Lisa" is the *only* person to have posted a comment on this particular Psychotherapy Networker article, as the 2nd comment doesn't appear until later that evening (7:30:15 PM on March 15th; both 4thwavenow & Psychotherapy Networker appear to be based in the U.S., so the should be only a few hours apart, if at all). Therefore, "Lisa" and skepticaltherapist must be the same person.
Did you catch all of that?
This is a fraudulent "diagnosis" explicitly invented by an anti-trans psychologist who at times has used sockpuppets to manipulate online conversations, claimed at times to be the mother of a trans child, or maybe it was her friend who had the trans child, or maybe she just knew somebody who just randomly decided he was a trans boy after going on tumblr. (Boy, does Lisa Marchiano hate Tumblr, lol.)
After inventing this diagnosis and pushing it on a forum for parents who don't like that they have trans kids, Marchiano then approaches a different researcher and uses this other researcher to launder this term, launching it into the verbal stratosphere, while explicitly working with right-wing groups who used this "evidence" to manufacture anti-trans bills. This list of right-wing groups and individuals includes the Alliance Defending Freedom, the "American College of Pediatricians," -- not to be confused with the American Academy of Pediatrics, the legitimate organization, ACPeds is a fringe right-wing group.
They literally made all of this up, this idea that transmasculine people specifically are being "infected" by online sources, and then they laundered it through a shitty study and tried to hide the laundering they did, so that shit like this can happen:
The president of the American Principles Project, a member of the coalition, recently told the New York Times that his group’s goal is to eliminate all transition care, starting with children because that’s “where the consensus is.”
This isn't about protecting children or any bullshit like that, and it's not about this fallacious "disorder" because it doesn't exist -- and they know it doesn't exist. They know it doesn't exist because they were the ones who made it up.
Like... what else is there to say? It's like if I made up Purple Big Toe Disease and claimed that all people taller than 5'10" and born on a Tuesday have Purple Big Toe Disease and should not be able to buy aspirin, because it's G-d's plan that people who have Purple Big Toe Disease should not prevent themselves from feeling the pain that G-d has planned for them, and then I asked someone to write a paper about PBTD and pretend I wasn't the one who made it up so I could point at the paper and be like le gasp, PBTD is the number one problem! We need to stop everyone over 5'10" and born on a Tuesday from being able to buy aspirin! And then some dude in South Dakota starts writing up bills in consultation with a bunch of Evangelical lawyers to deny basic health care to people over 5'10" and born on Tuesdays.
If it sounds fucking ridiculous, it's because it is.
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sarcasticassian · 5 months
Text
Steve only starts lying once all the kids have moved out of Hawkins, their families going with them, some left straight after Vecna was defeated, like Eddie and the Sinclairs and Byers-Hoppers, they immediately move out, the others finish high school and Robin and Nancy have already left to go to college, Robin tried to get Steve to come with her but he had to stay and look after Dustin, Eddie tried to get him to come with him and Wayne but again Steve said he had to stay and look after Max but now they're all gone and Steve is alone in Hawkins
Eddie and Robin still asked him to move out to live with them, they'd both ended up in California in the music business but for some reason Steve still stayed, deep down worried that the monster would return and someone would have to look after them, he tells Robin and Eddie about the final touches to the rebuilding efforts, his newly blossoming social life and the dates he goes on each week in an effort to find the one, chattering away to Eddie about this band he heard on the radio, he speaks to Eddie more than Robin, she's at work a lot or with her new friends but she'll always snatch the phone of Eddie if she comes home when Steve has called
Steve is lying about his social life though, he rarely leaves his big, cold, empty house, his parents long gone, he goes to work, watches the final pieces of rebuilding slot into place from behind the counter and he goes home, flinching at noises he thinks he hears and staring into space for long periods of time before he snaps to attention and fears something is coming for him, nothing ever does though
he manages 9 months by himself, alone in Hawkins, before he cracks, he's speaking to Eddie on the phone, clutching the plastic so hard it might crack and Eddie is jabbering on about a new band he went to see this weekend, his voice warm and happy as he blabbers on and Steve isn't saying anything, closing his eyes and letting Eddie's voice wash over him, letting it be the only thing he's aware of and as soon as he hangs up he starts to pack a suitcase, shoving in anything he cares about and its only half full when he closes it, then he gets in his car and drives to the airport, he parks the car in one corner and goes into the building, he buys a one way ticket to California and waits for his plane
when he gets to California he realises he's not sure how to get to Eddie's house and he can't afford a taxi to take him all the way there so he asks a nice looking elderly gentleman how to understand the bus network and the man offers to drive him instead, says he's off to see his niece who lives close enough so Steve hops in, tense and untrusting but desperate enough that he grabs the offer, the man is quiet and he reminds Steve of Wayne, the few times he'd met him and slowly as they crawl through LA traffic Steve relaxes, tells the guy he's going to stay with a friend who he's missed since he left and the man smiles a little, Steve asks to be dropped a couple blocks away, not wanting to cause trouble for this man and he walks the rest of the way to Eddie's, going off street names and the directions the man with the truck gave him
it starts to rain when Steve is a block away, he thought it was supposed to be sunny all the time in LA and later Eddie will tell him it usually is Steve just has shit timing, but he turns up at Eddie's door, sodden and nervous and a little pathetic looking but he knocks on the door, unsure if Eddie will even be in but he hears clattering inside and then the door is being yanked open, Eddie stares at him before he's leaping forward and wrapping Steve in his arms, Steve starts to cry immediately and Eddie ushers him inside, it all comes pouring out like the rain he's just left behind and he tells Eddie everything, how he was withering away in Hawkins but he couldn't leave, not until today or yesterday, his times have gone funny
Eddie just lets Steve curl up in his arms and holds him, lets him get snot and tears all over his shirt and doesn't mind when the wetness of Steve's jeans starts to soak into his own, Eddie just strokes his hair and tells him its gonna be okay and Steve believes him, closes his eyes and lets Eddie's voice wash over him again but this time its not the only thing he's aware of, he feels Eddie's warm hands on his thigh and in his hair, feels the firmness of Eddie's chest against his side and he can smell Eddie too and Steve lets himself drown in it all
he's content enough that hours later when Robin bangs down the door, like she could sense Steve was around, he lets her bully him out of Eddie's lap and lets her curl around him protectively and Steve screams at himself internally for not coming here before but he's safe now, he has Robin and Eddie here and he smiles into Robin's shoulder when he feels Eddie's fingers tangle with his and squeeze gently
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blackopals-world · 11 months
Note
I liked your ´ I Found Home ´ Twisted Wonderland fic could I PLEASE request a part three where everyone else finds out about her son and her books! I have a feeling some of those boys would be a blushing mess. PLEASE I NEED MORE I CAN ´ T GET ENOUGH! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEEEAAASEEE!
I Found Home
Part 3
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 4) (Part 5)(Part 6)(Part 7)(Part 8)
Implied relationship
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Leona
"The Tracker"
It's usually very busy in the kingdom this time of year. Handling the harvest, taxes, keeping an eye out for droughts, and other things that pop up. These things are part of his responsibility as the official grand duke. His brother gave him a good chunk of territory after it was confiscated from a group of inept nobles. He stated that Leona more than deserved it after uncovering their faults.
Leona gained the freedom to rule how he desired with no input or control from his family or counsel. The people respected him and his knights swore loyalty to him.
Ruggie became an aid obviously and is still the only one to keep up with Leona. Despite Jack being strong enough to become a knight he became a botanist.
While Leona is not king, he still basically is one. The only time he's ever had to follow orders is when his brother begs him to attend functions in the capital, which Leona usually ignores.
Recently Cheka started staying at Leona's castle for the summer to learn how his uncle rules his region. Thus ends the lion's peaceful days.
Ruggie sometimes takes the cub to his old neighborhood to learn of its past. The slums no longer exist as Leona created a project to help those living there and created new jobs to support them. The idea wasn't his alone. It came about when Yuu proposed a plan to help Ruggie community. She knew a few examples from her own world to solve this problem and together they made a plan.
She was an incredible woman. Falena had insisted had she become his sister-in-law.
"Listen to me brother, you don't meet a girl like that every dynasty. You need to do something now or never."
Now did become never. Leona learned the hard way that lazing around doesn't stop the world around you from moving forward with or without you. Without Yuu.
Maybe she would have stayed if he asked. He doesn't know. He moved on.
Opportunity was a window and it was closed until someone opened a door. A gateway in this case. There was a way to see her again.
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"I don't know how you do this. One moment you're a velcro baby and won't let me put you down the next you're gone." Yuu watched Grimm bolt for the sandbox.
Yuu had gotten the go ahead from Grmm's doctor and social worker to introduce him to the outside world. He was finally secure enough to interact with people his age.
He liked the sandbox which meant extra laundry to Yuu. She checked her bag for a change of clothes when she was stopped by someone.
"Excuse me? Miss I couldn't help but ask. Are you the author of the Lost Princess series?" The woman asked.
"Yes, actually I-" Yuu was cut off.
"It's so amazing to meet you! My children love your books and I love that new romance novel you put out. I heard you were working on a t.v show based on the kids books." She asked in excitement.
"Yes, a network reached out about it but I wanted it to suit my vision and a lot is going on with it. Besides that, I have a family and I can't be away from my son for long." Yuu explained.
"I see, I understand completely. My girls need to be watched like hawk. How old is yours?" The mother seemed to switch gears the moment kids were brought up. She was clearly an attentive mother as she occasionally looked over to where her daughters were on the swing.
"He's 4 now. Over there in the sandbox." Yuu said pointing towards the box except he wasn't there.
The other mother looked around questioning.
"I saw another kid other there a minute ago with a small boy. Do you know if he has a friend here?" She said with a thick edge to her voice.
"No, he doesn't know anyone but me. He hates strangers! Grimm?! Grimm?!" Yuu ran for the sandbox and yelled for her some.
The other mother called for her daughter's and told them to stay close as she called for Grimm as well.
In the back of her head Yuu knew what was going on. She had read stories about predators using kids to lure in other victims. Her son was kidnapped!
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Leona stood at the door of a small house in a quaint neighborhood. The house had to be hers. The scent of desert roses and clove was everywhere. That was her favorite perfume.
He knocked a few times but there was no reply.
Cheka(who insisted on coming and Leona had no choice anyways) investigated everything around until a door slammed open in the neighbor's yard.
"Scram you little urchin! Stay out of my garden! She yelled at Cheka as he rooted around the flower bed.
"Who are you calling an urchin?" Leona growled as Cheka took cover behind his uncle.
"You let your son tear up people's yards? You are no better than that hussy that lives here. Are you dropping off another one of her noisy bastard kids? Keep him! I don't want another one running around here!" The old woman ranted.
Leona doesn't advocate punching old women's remaining teeth out but this woman was making him a believer. But he wasn't going to do that in front of Yuu's house in public.
"I don't know who you're calling a hussy but I'm looking for Yuu. Since you are already so nosy you must know right?" Leona asked as politely as he could muster.
"Like I'd tell a thug like you." The old woman said.
"That's fine. If you can't say anything useful you might as well not speak." He said casting a silence curse on the old bat.
The crone tried to flap her gums more but nothing came out as she tried to yell and rant some more.
"Cheka, it's time to practice tracking." Leona picked up a trail that did go too far. Yuu must be on a walk.
Cheka excitedly bounded off with Leona a few yards behind.
When they made it to a park Cheka sped off before Leona noticed.
The old woman said Yuu had a kid. Damn things did change. He should have expected it, kind of. He knew she liked kids and would volunteer to babysit Cheka all the time but knowing she started a family was unexpected.
Was he jealous...no. Why would he be? She didn't owe him loyalty especially when she believed they would never meet again. They weren't even together. So what if he never saw anyone after her and turned down every engagement? She owed him nothing. It was enough to spend what time they did have together.
"Look!" Leona snapped out of his revelry as Cheka brought a small boy over to him.
The boy was small, looked to be less then half the age of Cheka, and held a bright yellow plastic hand shovel.
"Oh no." Leona already had a bad feeling about this. "Cheka what do you think tracking means?"
Cheak puffed out his cheeks as he picked up his new friend from under under his arms like how a toddler picks up a cat.
"I followed the scent and I found him." The cub replied.
The boy had little awareness of what was happening thankfully. But Cheka had a point, the boy smelled like black clove, cinnamon and faintly of desert roses.
"Cheka you can't just take a kid from a playground, even if you are a kid yourself. Put him back before I get called a kidnapper." The instant 'kidnapper' left his mouth the latent survival instincts in the boy went off and he sprinted for the bush and disappeared.
"Shit." Leona muttered.
"Shit." Cheka echoed.
"Not you! Find him before his mom-"
"Grimm! Grimm! Where are you!" Yuu's voice echoed across the park.
He's going to die. He's going to die and I'll all be this brat's fault.
He wasn't overreacting, he is under-reacting. Leona has seen this woman do a hundred-meter dash just to hit her friends upside the head. She once tried to fight a referee after getting a red card and it took Jack and Sebek to pry her off.
Leona managed to find Grimm as he climbed up a tree.
"I swear if you fall from there," Leona growled under his breath.
Cheka tried to follow him up but Leona yanked him back down by the back of his shirt.
"You stay here, go distract Yuu." Leona ordered
"Aye!" The cub mock saluted before bounding off again.
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Yuu began to feel lightheaded as she searched every corner of the playground. She asked every parent and child if they had seen her son.
She pulled out her phone and began dialing for emergency services. Just before she pressed the call button she was ambushed from behind.
Two arms circled her stomach and squeezed. Yuu yelped and grabbed one of the hands. Prickly claws dug in firmly.
"Nanna!" A familiar voice called for her.
It was Cheka! Little Cheka wasn't so little anymore. Well, he was taller at least and was still very much a cub.
If Yuu wasn't so frantic she would have squeezed him to death tighter than Floyd but a mother's mind isn't so easily swayed. Grimm first, reunion second.
"That's the boy from earlier!" The other mom said "He took your son!"
HE WHAT?!
Before Cheka could run he was grabbed by the ear.
"Cheka Kingscholar!" Yuu yelled. "Sorry about all this trouble Amaranth. I'll handle the rest from here."
Amaranth laughed a bit leaving Yuu to parent.
Cheka yelped as he struggled to escape.
"Sorry Nanna! I just thought it was funny and I wanted to play with cousin!" Cheka squirmed "He's with uncle I swear!"
Yuu dragged the cub by the ear back to where Grimm was still in the tree.
Currently, Leona was trying to grab the boy while Grimm reflexively hissed and spat like a feral cat. Grimm only did that when he was really scared. One of the side effects of being locked in a basement with only a cat for company for who knows how long.
"I said I was going to hurt you, now stop trying to bite me!" Leona tried to grab him by the collar.
"Mama!" Grimm called out as he dodged Leona again and climbed higher.
"I'm trying to take you to her! Do you want to be left up here?" Leona managed to snag the boy this time by the waist and hauled Grimm up in a position that would keep them stable but not in biting range.
"Grimm no bitting! It's safe! He won't hurt you!" Yuu called out.
Leona worked his way down and as he made it to the lowest branch dropped the squirming toddler in Yuu's waiting arms.
Immediately the boy wiggled around to wrap his arms around his mother like a koala.
"I'd really like an explanation for what's going on but I'm tired and Grimm is overdue for a nap." Yuu sighed.
Leona agreed wholeheartedly.
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"So you missed me, my prince?" Yuu laughed as she pulled the leftover leaves and twigs out of his hair.
'My prince' he remembered when she used to call him that when she wanted to tease him. The boys couldn't hear at least, they exhausted themselves and were currently napping.
"No one has called me prince in years. Most just say, Grand Duke." Leona sighed in relief as Yuu combed out his locks.
"Fancy~" Yuu sang before her tone shifted "You've changed, Leo."
"That's your fault. You changed me."
Yuu couldn't pretend he was lying. She wouldn't leave Leona alone back then.
She recognized that Leona was in pain and asked-begged him to get help. She taught him to recognize his feelings so he could explain what was wrong. It was hard for him to accept that help but in time he improved.
Yuu forced him to eat healthier and made excuses everytime she wanted him to do something more then sleep.
"These guys keep harassing me. I can't go alone." She'd say poking him in the ribs until he caved.
When they had bad days. They'd sleep cuddled up beside each other.
"You don't need to fix me." He'd complain but he didn't mean it.
"I'm not. I just don't want to see someone else go through what I did." She said.
Leona wasn't an idiot. He knew she was more fragile than she let on but it never mattered to him. She was the strongest person he knew. So he believed in her words and got his life together.
"Change is good. I've changed too." Yuu responded.
"I've noticed. So where's the dad? Not in the picture?"
"Never was. I found Grimm and took him home. He has his quirks but he's a good kid."
"I've noticed, his bites were just full of kindness." Leona said holding out his nicked hand.
Yuu rolled her eyes, he could heal himself with magic but was being dramatic.
"He was just scared. Besides his teeth aren't nearly as sharp as Cheka's." Yuu scoffed as she intertwined their hands.
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While the adults got cozy the kids were up to trouble.
"So this book is about the king of beasts?" Cheka asked puzzled.
"It is about the lost princess and how she met the king of beasts. He wanted a war with the enemy kingdom and worked hard to win. The princess taught him that the war was dumb and he should be a good king instead." Grimm said flipping the pages.
"And then they get married and live happily ever after?" Cheaka asked.
"No! The princess has to go home and goes to the underwater city to get help from the sea folk. The princess can't get married." Grimm argued.
"I dunno, I think the princess is going to marry the beast." Cheka smirked.
"What do you mean?" The boy asked tilting his head.
"Ask your mom. We are going to be cousins soon. Shihihi" Cheka cackled using Ruggie's laugh.
"Mom?" Grimm scrunched his nose in thought before realizing "MAMAAAA!"
Grimm cried as he stumbled down the stairs.
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threelionsgirl · 3 months
Note
Hey can you write one where the reader has a crush on Mason, but he says he only sees her as a friend, and that he has a crush on the reader's friend. But after y/n moves away from him, he realizes that he was always in love with her too. Please, with a happy ending!!!!
confessing love | mason mount
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warnings: fluff, a bit of angst maybe? word count: 3767 notes: I LOVED THIS ONE!! remembering that english is not my first language, this has not been revised!!! i hope you like it :) masterlist | requests are open!
Y/N's camera lens traveled around the pitch during Manchester United's training sessions. And she loved her work as a visual media creator for the club's social networks. Combining her passion for football with her passion for photography was perfect. She was living a long-planned dream. Y/N was trying to get the best angles of the training session led by coach Ten Hag. She laughed a little when she saw Rashford and Casemiro play with the ball through the camera lens. He captured good moments of the two of them until she looked for her next target. That's when her lens passed Mason Mount. Y/N always liked to take pictures of Mason last because when her camera found him, it was hard to take the focus off him. She followed him all over the pitch, looking at him through her hyperfocus lens and taking more photos of him than of any other player. Of course, she knew it was a bit unprofessional, but no one needed to know, since she was the only one operating that camera and on the website and social media, all the players received the same publicity. The ones that remained, she kept in her personal collection.
Mason was running around the pitch, until he received a ball from Shaw, which he took on his chest and sent into the back of the net. Y/N made a point of capturing every moment as he celebrated by smiling, messing with his hair in a cute way and every bit of how his body reacted and the expressions on his face. Until he looked directly at her and realized that the camera was pointing at him. Mason began to make faces that made Y/N laugh as she recorded everything, without missing a beat. The truth was that Y/N was very friendly with all the players, they were nice and good company for going out and doing something fun, and nothing was more than friendship, but she had to admit that she had developed a special bond with Mason. She knew that with him, she didn't just want friendship, it was much more than that. But she felt too cowardly to admit it to him. He came running towards her, and she lowered the camera, finally taking the focus off him. She didn't need a camera to observe Mason Mount when she had him so close. "Too much work today, Y/N?"
"I'm always very busy, Mase." Y/N wiping the camera lens. Ever since she'd discovered her crush on Mason, she'd been a bit awkward around him because she found it hard to look at him and talk to him without looking like a lovesick idiot. A shiver ran through her body when he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and squeezed with his other hand. "You need a break to relax, you work too much." Y/N was going to ask him what his ideas were for her to relax, but she wasn't so bold. "Today is Maya's birthday." Maya worked in PR at United and was one of her best friends at the club. Working with her was amazing. They always went out together whenever they could. "Oh, I know, she invited me." Mason smiled in a different way, which made a thousand butterflies fly around in Y/N's stomach. "So, I'll see you tonight, right?" She hugged the camera, too nervous to answer and stuttering Y/N just shook her head up and down. Mason left a kiss on her cheek and pulled away when Ten Hag called out to him. Y/N stood there watching Mason walk away for God knows how long, that kiss on the cheek was capable of melting her entire system. She was so caught up that she didn't even notice when Marcus approached.
She could say that Marcus was one of her best friends. He was the first person she had been close to since she started working at the club. She felt she could count on him for anything. "When are you going to tell him?" "What a fright, Rash!" She looked at him unconcerned. "You need to stop this!" "And you need to stop running away from my questions, Y/N." "I don't know what you're talking about…" "Come on, you don't lie to me. You've got a thing for Mase." They both watched Mason from afar. She looked at her friend and rolled her eyes. "How do you know that?" "I know you, honey." He laughed, pinching her nose. "Do you think I don't notice how you spend hours and hours stalking him with that camera?" "Yeah, I have a crush on him, so what?" "So you're really going to leave without exposing your feelings?" Marcus raised an eyebrow and Y/N bit her lip. A few weeks ago, she had received an offer to become a Real Madrid staffer. Moving to Spain wasn't in her plans, but the offer was too good to turn down. Her photos had been successful, and she was getting recognized for her talent, but she still didn't know if she would actually accept. She loved Manchester, she loved United, and she loved the players with whom she was already familiar. To change would be to leave that behind. Leaving Mason behind.
"I haven't decided yet. It's a good opportunity, of course, but…" "I bet having Mason would make you say no to the proposal." "Rash, you don't know what you're talking about." "I'm just suggesting it. I'm going to miss you, and I'd rather you didn't go, but I understand, and I'm advising you, if you go, go without this weight on your back." Rashford winked at her and turned back to the pitch. Y/N took one last look at the two of them before heading to the administration building, she needed to edit those photos and publish them. She knew she had a big decision to make, wondering if her friend Marcus was right. Would Mason be a good reason to make her stay in England?
Later, Y/N was at home getting ready for Maya's party when she received a message from Mason:
mase: do u want me to come and pick u up?
The truth was that Y/N didn't need a ride, but Mason's invitation was impossible to refuse. The minutes she spent in his car in the passenger seat, watching his profile drive through the streets of Manchester, were almost magical. So she quickly replied that yes, she wanted his ride. What she really meant was that she wanted his company at every moment of her life. She finished getting ready in an hour, which was about the time Mason pulled up in front of her house. In the car he seemed very excited about Maya's birthday party and for some reason that was giving Y/N confidence. Maybe Marcus was right, and she should get those feelings out soon before they suffocated her. Maya's birthday was taking place in a fancy hotel and Y/N was enjoying it with her friends, her Manchester United friends and, of course, Mason. He was great company at parties, always daring her to knock back shots of booze or asking her to dance. On the one hand, Y/N loved him, but on the other she felt sad. Every touch he made on her waist or anywhere on her body sent shivers down her spine, and when he looked at her smiling and fiddled with her hair without taking his eyes off her?
She couldn't resist. But the worst part was seeing other girls flirting with Mason when he was with her, and not being able to do anything about it, since Mase wasn't someone she could call her own. So she decided to hide in the bathroom for a while. What was supposed to be five minutes turned into almost thirty, and she decided to go out and look for Marcus. She needed her friend more than anything at that moment, but instead of finding him, she bumped into Mason, who looked five times more altered than the last time she'd seen him. "Mase?" "Y/N! You're gooone!" He said in that slurred, shuffling voice. "What happened to you, Mase? I leave you for a few minutes, and you decide to drink the whole bar?" He moved his mouth laughingly, and she supported him with her shoulders, helping him to walk. Mason in that state meant it was time to go home. She knew the friend she had. "Where are you taking me?"
"To your house." "I'm usually the one who takes the girls there." "Funny." She laughed and pulled him away. They arrived in the parking lot and Y/N guided Mason to where he had parked his thousand-euro car. "The key." She held out her hand, and Mason slipped his hand into the front pocket of his pants without complaint and handed it to her. He wouldn't let just anyone drive his car, but in that state he either obeyed Y/N or he obeyed Y/N. "There. Here we are. You can get to your room on your own, can't you?" she said from outside, in front of Mason's door, who didn't look very well, but well enough to get into his own house. He looked at her worriedly. "How are you going home?" "I'll manage, Mase. I can order an Uber." She shrugged, wanting to get out of there. "Not at all. You can sleep here. I'll drop you home in the morning." He suggested, taking her by the hand and leading her into his house, but Y/N didn't move, letting go of her hand. Mason seemed somewhat loving, but she needed to remind herself that whatever he was doing at that moment, he wasn't in his most sober state. Alcohol could easily manipulate his actions, and she didn't know what was real. "I'm not sleeping at your place."
"Why not?" He frowned at the refusal. Normally, Y/N never said no to him. "You've slept here before." "There were other people along." She said quietly. It was those parties that got a bit out of hand and went on until late, and everyone thought it was safer to spend the night than to drive drunk. "And what's wrong with not having other people?" He asked, moving closer. So close that Y/N could have sworn she felt something in her body fail. It could have been her heartbeat or her breathing. She gave a half-smile, refusing to answer that question. There were all the problems in the world spending the night with a guy she couldn't call her own. It was too much of a disservice to her poor heart. "You look strange." He pointed out, looking right into her eyes. "You were weird the whole party." "I wasn't."
"I know you, Y/N. Yes, you were." Mason took another step forward, holding one of her shoulders. "You don't want to tell me why?" Y/N analyzed for a few seconds, hating that moment. She knew Mason wouldn't stop until he got an answer out of her and that's when she thought of the response she'd gotten from Rashford that morning. So she took a deep breath, making one of the two decisions she needed to make at that point in her life. "This is going to sound really stupid…" "You can tell me anything." "Look…" She looked away, but Mason held her face and his touch felt so good, it brought the best feeling in the world to her heart. "I'll say it straight away, okay?" He warned and Mason nodded, interested. Y/N took one last breath and quickly poured the words over him. "I like you, that's all. I know we're friends and that I shouldn't like you, but I do and I couldn't keep it to myself any longer. I like you. Holy shit! I didn't want to like you, but I do, so what am I going to do? Hell! It's not my fault, I'm not in charge of my heart. Mase, I can't be around you without my heart leaping three hundred times and I need to know what you're thinking right now!"
Mason blinked, a little stunned by the revelation, and felt something bad inside him. The alcohol in his brain wasn't letting him think straight. "Shit…" He muttered softly, letting go of her shoulder. "Y/N…" "What?" she asked, bracing herself for what was perhaps the worst thing she could hear.
"You know I think you're amazing, right? I like you a lot Y/N you, but not like that…" He concluded and the sentence almost made Y/N's world come crashing down. That was definitely not happening. She felt pathetic. "I was actually interested in Maya…" Mason swallowed before saying it and that was the end of the world for Y/N. She could deal with unrequited love, but a relationship between Mason and her best friend? It was too much for her. "Oh my God…" She took a step back, wanting to get out of there and holding back any tears that might fall. "Mason." She whispered and he continued talking as if that wasn't the worst thing he was doing. "I'm really sorry." Y/N couldn't look them in the eye, the street seemed less painful. "We can still be friends after that, right? Nothing have to change…"
She suddenly looked at him, hurt. How could he ask her that after saying he liked her best friend? "I-I…" She stammered. "I don't know if I can go through with this until I'm sure I've gotten rid of all my feelings for you. Bye, Mason." Y/N turned her back on him and walked away as fast as she could. She couldn't do that. Walking away was the best option, until she no longer felt anything, until she saw Mason Mount as just a friend. The problem was that for Y/N it could last a lifetime.
A few days later…
Mason felt strange, he could even say a little unhappy. An unbearable emptiness. Ever since Y/N had left him, he hadn't seen her for a few days. What was that withdrawal? He couldn't even say. He even thought about asking Maya, but he felt like such an idiot after that conversation. He really had an interest in the girl, but after what had happened with Y/N, Mason didn't care, he just wanted to get that feeling out of him. Because his current condition was: he missed a girl with whom he was hopelessly in love. Like almost all of his clubmates, he was always asked what was going on between him and Y/N. Mason always denied any love interest. But it wasn't possible! Could it be that only they didn't see what everyone else saw? Or at least, only he didn't see? Maybe what he felt for Maya was just physical attraction and the person he really liked was Y/N. It had been so long since he had liked anyone and when this person appeared, Mason was terrified.
She was the one who greeted him at the CT with a smile every day and made him laugh with the photos she took of him while he was distracted. It was fun how she would blackmail him with those photos to ask for favors like buying her a milk shake or autographing his shirts. Even though Mason never said no to her, he loved their dynamic. He also liked having her at all his games, cheering him on and giving him a big hug when the game was over. Shit, Mason wanted that back. He wanted Y/N back in his life, he understood her pulling away, but he wasn't going to let it continue.
"Rash, do you know where Y/N is?" He asked Marcus as soon as training was over. "Y/N? She's resigned, Mase." Marcus replied a little sadly, but it had been Y/N's decision and he would respect it. Mason, on the other hand, looked shocked. "What do you mean?" "She received an offer from Real Madrid. Yesterday was her last day. She must be on her way to Madrid…" Marcus looked at his watch on his cell phone. He had managed to say goodbye to Y/N the day before. "Right now." "You can't be serious." "Serious. We've lost the best photographer in the world to a Spanish team." He felt a little guilty. "Do you think…"
"If she went to stay away from you?" Marcus concluded, holding Mason's shoulder. "Don't think too much of yourself, the proposal was very good, but yeah, I think what you said to her may have influenced your final decision." "Damn. I was such an idiot." "Yes, you were." "Do you think I can reverse it?" "If you want to, you can, but please, man, try not to hurt my friend anymore." That hurt, but Mason nodded and understood that it was up to him. Marcus gave him some details, but told him that it might be too late. Y/N was leaving for Madrid at that moment and Mason might have to wait a little longer. Mason found himself defeated for only a few minutes before he realized that if he really wanted her forgiveness, he would have to want it badly and to show it he would have to start right then and there. He left CT like a hurricane in his car and drove as fast as he could to the airport. He wore a hood over his head to avoid being recognized, it would slow him down too much. He looked at the screen and boarding for the next flight to Madrid had already started and Y/N was probably already in the departure lounge. He went to the nearest counter and bought the first ticket he saw. At the counter, while waiting to pay, he thought he was acting out a scene from the clichéd movies Y/N liked, but he couldn't have cared less. Y/N was worth it and if he hadn't been such an idiot, none of this would have been necessary. After passing through the boarding gate, Mason looked as quickly as possible for the flight gate, when he found it he saw the queue forming and Y/N was currently first in line, handing over her documents before getting on the plane.
"Y/N." He shouted so loudly that not only Y/N but most of the people present looked in his direction. She felt someone taking her headphones off and when she looked back she was surprised. "Mason?" The girl went static when she saw him. He came closer and she took the document back and walked over to him. It hurt so much to see him again, but she was curious and a little surprised. "What are you doing here?" "I'm asking you. I can't believe you'd leave without saying goodbye to me." She looked at him a little guiltily. "Besides, you forgot something of yours with me." "What?" "Me." He said quietly, holding her face. At that point, Y/N's brain was going haywire, as if she couldn't imagine that Mason Mount would come to the airport after her to propose. "Answer me this, why did you say that day that you didn't want to like me?" She swallowed. "Why… Because I knew you wouldn't like me back and that would ruin our friendship, like it did." "And how did you know that was true?" Mason arched an eyebrow and Y/N looked around for something to get her out of that situation.
"Well, you told me yourself." "I lied." Mason shrugged his shoulders feeling bad, even worse with the face Y/N was making. "Oh, you lied? Lied that you were interested in my best friend? What did you want with that? To make me feel bad?" Y/N took a deep breath because at that moment she was starting to get angry. "That hurt me so much, you have no idea, and now you come here after me thinking I'm going to be with you whenever you want, Mason?" She finished saying it and took a step back, at which point Mason realized that things were getting very bad for him. He approached her holding her hands, willing to make things right with Y/N. "I'm not proud of it, it's just that I was a bit terrified Y/N. I haven't liked anyone like that for a long time and I loved our friendship, but I didn't even know how much I liked you." He confessed and Y/N had to admit that it shook something inside her. "I found myself smiling for no reason until I realized that I was thinking of you. And that I couldn't waste another day of my life without you. Please give me another chance!" Y/N hesitated. This was difficult because on the one hand she was very hurt, but on the other, the fact that Mason Mount had come up to her in an airport and declared himself like that was all she had ever wanted.
"But what about Maya?" "I have nothing to do with Maya, I never have, and I don't want to. Please understand that." Y/N hesitated for a moment, looking at Mason for sincerity. She sighed, allowing herself to consider the possibility of a second chance. "Mason, it's not easy to forget what happened, but…" She looked into his eyes. "If you've really changed, if you're willing to be honest this time, then maybe we can try again." Mason let out a relieved sigh, his eyes shining with gratitude. "I promise, Y/N, no lies. I want to be more than a friend to you, I want to be someone you can trust." Y/N smiled, giving in to the moment. "All right, Mason. Let's start again, but this time, no secrets. Bring out your true feelings from the start." Mason agreed, determined to make things right. "I'd like that. And I promise I'll make up for any hurt I've caused." The two hugged, deciding to put the past behind them. "So, what's the next step?" Y/N asked, trying to keep things light. Mason smiled. "A date, maybe? Something simple, just to get us started."
Y/N laughed. "That sounds good. But this time, no made-up love triangles, right?" Mason laughed along with her. "Absolutely. Just the two of us, no complications, but…." "What?" "Let me kiss you now? I didn't want to wait until the date." Y/N laughed along with him, letting herself go and kissing Mason as she had always dreamed. And so, with laughter and a promise of honesty, Mason and Y/N took the first step towards a new beginning, redefining not just their friendship, but building something more meaningful and true.
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final-script · 27 days
Text
It Wasn't Good But… |LS2
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Pairing: Logan Sargeant x Reader
Sumary: It wasn't a good weekend but…
Warnings: English is not my first language !!!There are probably many mistakes (I will correct them later).
Gif: norrisgp
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Your work in social networks allows you to create content, of all kinds, at almost any time and almost anywhere in the world.
You could also show the world some of your hobbies.
Everything could vary, sometimes you would show them, a quiet day in your apartment, maybe with a tutorial on how to bake cookies in between and the next, you could be showing them your essentials for an upcoming trip.
Which was happening at this moment, you were recording to your followers how you were preparing to live one of the best weekends of your life.
You had been invited to experience a full weekend of F1 from inside the paddock, it was not your first Grand Prix, because you had already attended several, being a fan of the sport for many years, but it was the first one you would experience of this magnitude.
Williams Racing, they were the ones who had invited you to live the experience.
They provided you with everything, flights, lodging and of course the corresponding passes. 
(...)
On Friday I showed up for free practice, where from the garage I could see how everything was developing, I was also able to meet Lily, Alex Albon's girlfriend, who confessed that she knew me and liked my content.
At the end of training, I finally got to meet Alex and Logan, who to my surprise recognized me.
Unfortunately we had a short conversation as both guys were supposed to attend a meeting, but with the intention of meeting again, hoping to have more time.
Unfortunately that couldn't be the next day either and almost would be on race day if not for a "shy" Logan Sargeant coming up to me, inviting me to watch the race from his side of the garage.
(...) 
L- Where will you watch the race?
Y/N- I don't know, I guess from wherever the team tells me.
L- i... Would you like to see it from my side?, after all you are a guest of the team and I don't think they will have a problem if you do.
Y/N- if you wanted me on your side, you just need to say it.
You joke, which caused a slight, but noticeable blush on the pilot's face.
L- I... It's okay if you don't want to.
Y/N- I'm kidding, I'd love to be on your side.
The blonde smiled happily and said goodbye to go through his pre-race routine.
Sadly for the team, it wasn't a good race, but they still remained optimistic.
L- I'm sorry we couldn't give you a good show.
/N- it may not have been a good day, but I'm happy I was here.
(...)
Days later on your Youtube channel and other social networks you published the material of everything you experienced over the weekend.
And it won't have been a good weekend for the team but, I can say that I enjoyed it and I returned home happy for what I experienced and with an appointment, thus setting a next meeting with the blond rider.
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ANOTHERS
FORMULA 1 MASTERLIST
Many First Times - Arthur Leclerc X Reader
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dpr-stay · 9 months
Text
Cupid | LH44
Lewis Hamilton x Reader
Warnings: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, reader is a press officer, don't think gender is stated specifically, implied sexual content, second chance romance, she is not edited, zhou guanyu does not crash, and there are swears.
WC: ~7.7k (kill me now)
I literally hate this, im so sorry. I haven't edited it because it's late but I hope it's not bad. I'll edit it tomorrow. also how is it so longgg, it was supposed to be 5k at best. (why have i written two fics about exes having dinner?)
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Being Valtteri Bottas’ PR Agent was a wild ride. From being hired by him in his early days at Williams, to his successful years at Mercedes, and now at Alfa Romeo, you’d gotten to know the man through all stages of his career. You’d been there to field off questions about his declining performance at Mercedes and had been the first one to slam open the door and start yelling at him after the ‘cheated-on-his-wife’ rumours started floating around.
However, the paycheck was good and, when he wasn’t causing you to spend many nights in meetings about his public image, you didn’t mind the guy, happy to have to follow him around the world for most of the year.
The whole Formula One thing was also a bonus, you having been hooked on the sport after your Dad introduced it to you at an early age. You’d spent countless hours watching your dad watch the car’s speed by on his tv set, finally deciding to pay attention to the race after a few years. And boy, did you love it. 
You’d spent many an early birthday present forcing your parents to take you to the Grand Prix nearest to you, saving up for months to be able to afford the tickets and the travel. Something about the sport just intrigued pre-teen you, nothing to do with Michael Schumacher at all.
So, when the chance to be a F1 driver’s personal PR agent had landed on your advertisement agency’s desk, the place you had worked in the early days of your career, you had snatched it up quickly. The work started well before the start of the 2013 season, you having to meet the man himself and quickly getting adjusted to the many people you’d need to know to network for the guy. 
You’d also met Maldonado’s PR agent, one from the Williams team, who quickly brought up the ideas of doing interviews and press releases between the two drivers. You were swept into the world of the sport, beginning to get into the swing of things. 
Years passed, as did teammates, and Valtteri got signed to Mercedes alongside Lewis Hamilton. You didn’t know if your employment would carry over to Mercedes, but a team shirt and a letter letting you know about when Valtteri’s responsibilities started being mailed to your house confirmed it pretty quickly.
The atmosphere at Mercedes was more professional, though the team still treated each other as family. You’d often see engineers leaving together, going to go get drunk and celebrate Lewis’ common wins and Valtteri’s less common, but still happening, wins. 
You’d often spend hours at a time bargaining for spots for Valtteri in interviews and in PR related spots, and it worked. He was a well-known man, your job was practically done. The bosses were (finally) appeased, Valtteri was happy, and you could finally relax after years straight of stressing about social media and whatever the hell a vine was and if that was still relevant.
And then you’d gone and got yourself trapped in an elevator with Lewis Hamilton. 
Being a Mercedes employee, though only temporary, you’d met Lewis often during interviews and team meetings. However, you never really know a person until you spend five hours sitting opposite each other in a broken-down elevator, only being able to see each other by the light of your phone's flashlight, waiting for some sort of help as there was no signal.
Your conversation had started off hesitantly, you incredibly intimidated by the several-time world champion and him having a fleeting idea of who you were. The conversation had eventually fizzled out till the lift jolted, and a creaking sound echoed into the cavern of the contraption.
Your telling groan that you couldn’t hold back elicited a concerned “You alright?” from Lewis and then you eventually had to tell the professional F1 driver, who raced cars at over 200km/h every other weekend, about your fear of small spaces.
He hadn’t judged you for it, something which you thought was rather nice, and had even tried to adjust for you, moving to the very other side of the small box. Granted, your feet still touched, but you thought the sentiment was nice. 
He was more down to earth than you expected, you knew he wasn’t a prick but you weren’t expecting him to be… kind. Soon enough, after a few more questions about why you were afraid of small spaces and other questions, you both had spiraled into boundless conversation. 
You had talked about things you’d never talked about with someone, let alone a practical stranger, his soothing accent making it easier to open up to him. Things like the future and where it would take you, uncertainties about both your careers, even relationships, the type of conversations you only have trapped in a suspended metal box in the dark. 
Lewis was a fantastic person to talk to. He’d listen when he needed to and returned your conversation with equal energy, as though he actually wanted to be part of the conversation. For some reason he had decided to trust you and had talked freely to you, showing you a side that you doubted many people had seen.
Maybe it was the fact he couldn’t see your face or maybe you just gave off a trustworthy vibe. You didn’t know. All you knew was that, all of a sudden, you were one of Lewis Hamilton’s most trusted confidants. 
Even after someone had finally realised you were missing and exactly where you were, calling more firemen than necessary to bust open the lift though you supposed that’s what you were supposed to do when a ‘Sir’ was trapped in an elevator, Lewis had asked for your phone number and had continued to text you.
You’d met up a few times over the season, quickly becoming incredibly close friends who told each other everything. You’d had to deal with a few teases from Valtteri, who’d shut up when you reminded him who controlled the public’s opinion of him. 
During the off-season Lewis had invited you to come to his house for dinner. You’d went, it was lovely, and then you’d unknowingly experienced the moment of truth in your weird friendship/developing relationship. 
You’d been sitting at Lewis’s dinner table, eagerly chatting to the man about your family, leaning in closer and closer until the both of you were nearly leaning over the table. He’d cooked for you, an act you found incredibly sweet for the multi-millionaire who probably had ten private chefs on speed-dial, and you’d spent the evening wining and dining. 
You had both finished your main courses, talking about everything and anything when a loud bang had come from the upstairs of the man’s house. He glossed right over it, ignoring the loud sound. You had been about to comment on it but, at his nonchalance, you deigned not to. 
The conversation had continued, you both moving from his table to the couch he owned, which probably cost more than your salary earned you, when another loud sound, which sounded suspiciously like a bark, reverberated through his open-plan house. 
He sighed loudly at your questioning look, deciding that he couldn’t ignore it this time. He opened his mouth to speak but, before he could utter a syllable, the tapping of claws sounded against the stairs located, conveniently, in view of his living room. 
You looked up and there stood one of the largest Bulldogs you had ever seen. It was almost majestic, the way that he stood there on the steps, panting as though he’d just run a race. His brown coat was shining in the twilight glow, his muzzle a white colour in comparison to the rest of his body.
He took a few steps down the stairs, tripping on one before regaining his posture. You could only watch in wonder, mouth agape, as the beautiful beast padded down the steps and took a turn, approaching you head on.
The dog was a thing of beauty, his droopy face conveying no discernable emotion except from being tired. He slowly made his way to the couch, you doing nothing but watching as he trotted along the hardwood floors. You didn’t catch Lewis staring at you warily as you were only focused on the thing that younger you would’ve fought a clan of savage chipmunks in order to have.
The dog eventually made his way in front of you, plopping his behind down on the carpet and staring up at you questioningly. You didn’t know what emotion your face was conveying, you only knew it was very silent.
You cautiously reached a hand down to rub between his ears. After a second of your rubbing he made a gruff ‘woof’ sound and you couldn’t help it, an entranced whine releasing from your throat. Collapsing onto the floor beside the dog, you forgot about Lewis, focusing completely on the magnificent specimen of a dog. 
Roscoe, as you’d soon come to know via a fond Lewis, took to you as soon as you took to him. Within a minute the dog was letting you handle him as much as you’d like, rolling over on his back to let you get his stomach and vigorously licking your arm as you pet him. Praises spilled from your lips abound, making sure to let the bulldog know just how much of a good boy he was.
At a cough you turned from your spot on the floor to face Lewis, the radiant grin he had on his face making you feel as though you’d passed a test of sorts. Roscoe also turned to look at Lewis before turning back to you and huffing. 
He moved forward, stepping on your legs, trying to sit on you, before falling off the slope onto the carpet. You then picked him up and cuddled him, trying to keep eye-contact with Lewis as you did so. Lewis’ eyes had turned into half moons as he watched you love on his dog, his smile consuming his face.
“I’m glad he likes you, I don’t know what I would’ve done if he didn’t.” He admitted, placing his drink on a wooden table that stood beside the couch. He then slowly slid from the couch onto the floor beside you, leaning his body down till he was face-to-face with Roscoe and gave the dog a kiss.
“He’s got good taste.” You commented and Lewis released a laugh, glancing up at you.
“Me or the dog?” He asked after a second and you paused, overdramatically placing a finger on your chin and tilting your head as though you were thinking. You then shrugged and he laughed again, you not missing the incredibly familiar twinkle in his eye as he looked at you.
After that, you’d found that Lewis was a lot more eager to meet at his house. Roscoe, accompanied by the sheepish man, was bowling you over nearly every time the door was opened to you. Lewis had also made the trip to your house, though you doubted he’d seen a house as small as yours within the last ten years. He seemed to like it though, settling in quickly and even staying there when you were at work. The off-season had continued like that, casually building your relationship between his training and your many meetings with Alfa Romeo, trying to settle the discussions about your contract after Valtteri’s move.
You’d finally gotten somewhere just before the season started after having to plead to not be replaced by an inside hire, Valtteri backing you up and stating he wouldn’t race without you. Alfa Romeo had accepted and then you finally had the contract you’d wanted. 
You’d left the meeting, Valtteri in tow, before turning around and hugging the man for having your back before you both said goodbye and made your way home and to the gym respectively.
The uber ride you’d hired was peaceful, the man staring straight ahead as you looked out the window, your small apartment building coming into your view. You smiled as you saw it, thinking of the Lewis you’d left in bed that morning, having to pull yourself out before him to go to your meeting. 
The climb up the steps (the elevator didn’t work which Lewis hadn’t complained about when you’d explained it in embarrassment) had seemed to take forever no matter how fast you climbed. When you’d finally made it to your floor, you had to practically drag yourself across the hallway to your door, unlocking it with force after the lock had gotten stuck.
Immediately you could tell something was off, the place seemed colder than that morning and it didn;t have to do with the fact the thermostat had broken a few months ago. All the lights were off and there was no noise coming from within, a telltale sign that Lewis was somewhere within whether he was listening to music or talking to someone. 
That was ok, though, he might’ve been at a meeting like the one you’d had, though you doubted there would be less than 7 zero’s on his contract. But that’s the difference between a big team and Alfa Romeo, you work with what you get.
You looked to the side table, placing your keys in the bowl, noticing the absence of Lewis’ keys. But that made sense if he was at a training session or a meeting, so you continued into the apartment, losing components of your outerwear as you went. 
You’d lost your scarf and blazer as you’d made your way to your bedroom, prepared to change from your business outfit into one of Lewis’ many shirts when you opened your closet. A quick rummage and you couldn’t find any. Weird.
You checked again before moving to another part of your closet and noting the lack of his hoodies or jumpers, which was even weirder as you’d stolen a few of them last week. You turned and moved to your dresser, an old antique wooden piece you’d picked up from an op-shop a few years ago after seeing it and falling in love.
You’d opened your drawer specifically for pajamas and found everything you’d acquired through your time of living independently but Lewis’ shirts. Moving to the many drawers Lewis used specifically when he’d stay over, a small inkling of panic settled in your stomach however you ignored it and opened the drawer.
Nothing. There was nothing left in the drawer. You quickly opened all his other drawers, almost pulling them out of the dresser with the force you were applying. All of them were empty. This caused the inkling to grow to an uneasy pool. Maybe he’d taken them to wash them at his place?
You stepped back from the dressers, incredibly confused and vehemently denying the growing panic in you. You walked, not ran, into your bathroom. The lonely toothbrush sitting on the counter sent a strange feeling, almost like adrenaline, rushing through you. Opening the cupboards under the counter you noted the loss of his extra face wipes and the moisturizers he insisted on using. 
You ran to your kitchen, not seeing anything off, before slamming into the back of the couch in your open plan apartment in your haste to get into the living room. The action caused pain to ring through your shins but you barely registered it, the missing cd’s that normally sat on the table your tv was balancing on that he had insisted were better than Spotify the only thing you were focused on. 
A quick look down the hallway to the door of your apartment only furthered your dread, noticing details you hadn’t seen before. The missing stack of shoes that he normally toed-off at the door and the missing extra wallet he left on the side table in case someone broke in almost confirmed your fears.
But what really set in the fact that he’d packed up and left was the missing leash that normally hung from a hook you’d installed specifically on the back of your front door. The inscribed ‘Roscoe’ on the hook seemed almost mocking from your place on the couch, but you couldn’t really acknowledge it, the tears filling your eyes blurring your vision.
You stood up from the couch and stormed back into the bedroom, slamming the open drawers shut, not hearing the splintering of the vintage wood. You picked up your phone from your bed that you’d tossed earlier in your haste to become relaxed, and opened your messages.
He hadn’t sent anything to you explaining his leaving and when you went to send a text (‘??? Where are you’) the message that you’d been blocked popped up at the bottom of the screen. You could only stare at the screen for a second, the implications of what he’d done sending emotional shockwaves through you. 
You barked out a sardonic laugh, your hand flopping from its position in front of you to be held uselessly at your side, your phone slipping from your grasp onto the floor. The world went still for a moment before you lifted a hand to cover your vision, the tears slipping from your eyes wetting your hand.
You sat alone on your bed that had, not even 24 hours ago, contained what you had thought was your future. You couldn’t find it in yourself to be angry at this point, the grief for something that was evidently never meant to be controlling your thoughts. A long deep sigh left you before it was interrupted by a sob. And then another sob.
You ended up falling asleep alone that night, still dressed in the smart pants and white shirt you’d worn to your meeting. Your only lullaby was your sobbing, not the sound of his gentle humming, something which you kept reminding yourself of. 
Valtteri had commented that you’d seemed sad the next time he’d seen you but neither of you had addressed it past that, him knowing when to keep his mouth shut. He especially knew to shut up after the intense glare you had fixed him. 
The season had started again and, while you were prepared for your duties as a PR agent, Valtteri’s full calendar being proof enough for that, you weren’t sure you were prepared to see Lewis again. Especially after the news that he was already seeing someone else had come out a week before the first race.
You’d returned Valtteri’s knowing glance with as much strength as you could muster and promptly ignored his further pitying look, choosing to feel sorry for yourself at home that night. You’d also ignored his attempts to try to get you to talk to Tiffany, you liked the woman but you didn’t think you should burden her with your ridiculous, because that’s what it was looking back, delusions that you could’ve been something more than just a summer fling to Lewis Hamilton.
You’d successfully managed to avoid Lewis the whole first couple of races, eventually beginning to see fleeting glances of him throughout the paddock. Seeing him for the first time with his partner had hurt but, looking at her, you couldn’t exactly blame him.
She was gorgeous and, after you’d done a bit of searching, was exactly his previous type. She was wealthy and had a respectable job, someone worthy of being with him. You’d made sure to avoid him after that.
You kept on at work though, determined to be the best goddamn PR Agent Alfa Romeo had ever seen. And you were succeeding. Valtteri was getting brand deals and after more positive press around him and his dedication to the sport regardless of his company, you were finally able to relax. 
And by relaxing, you meant getting wasted at a bar. In fairness, last time you’d relaxed you’d ended up more broken hearted than you’d ever been, so releasing some steam at a bar had seemed an appropriate route.
And it was, being able to drink away your sorrows and spill your guts out to a bartender in a small rundown pub in the middle of Canada was the perfect way to unwind. You hadn’t told the whole story of course, you resented the guy for what he did to you but you didn’t want to tarnish his reputation, but it was nice to tell it to some random person who probably didn’t even understand the way you were switching between Swedish, English, and Finnish. 
You’d woken up the next morning with a heavy weight off your shoulders and a nice Canadian man in your hotel bed, sending him off with a promise to call before promptly adding his phone number to your phone. Valtteri could tell something had changed when you’d walked into his driver’s room the next day, prepared to tell him about his schedule. You greeted his questioning look with a smirk and he shook his head, a disbelieving look on his face.
You’d found that you hadn’t thought about Lewis the whole day, when you’d settled into your hotel bed the night after the race. A warm feeling had spread through you at that, the knowledge that the man no longer consumed your thoughts making you feel good inside.
The next race weekend you were ready to go, the British GP making you pumped. You weren’t so pumped when Valtteri DNF’ed and were mentally preparing answers for the Finn as the race continued, briefing him on every response you could think of in relation to the gearbox issue. Zhou Guanyu did well in his race though, so the garage was quite excited for him, even though Valtteri hadn’t finished.
When the interviews had rolled around after all of the celebrations, you were following Valtteri on the walk to his first interview, eventually stopping to the side of him as a mic was held in front of him and the cameras had started rolling. 
Typical questions such as if he was happy for his teammate and if he was happy with the car were asked, some weirder questions such as if he thought the car’s not-working had to do with some obscure political issue before eventually the interview was wrapped up and the Finn moved on to his next interview, you following him.
You could see other drivers beginning to arrive in the area, being interviewed before you quickly looked away, not wanting to see if he was close. You’d managed to avoid him thus far today, how hard could a few more hours be?
You’d thought that before you heard the faint but tell-tale bark of Roscoe and you had to force yourself not to turn around and run to the dog. Lewis had mentioned bringing the dog to his home race at some point while you were together, so you weren’t exactly surprised at Roscoe’s presence. 
Valtteri’s interview was continuing in the background of your mind as you thought over the nights you’d spent cuddled with Roscoe and Lewis. Did you miss him or Lewis more? Did Lewis even miss you?
Valtteri nudged you in the side, his eyes wide and you snapped back to reality, staring at the interviewer.
“Pardon?” You asked, politely trying to make it seem as though you just hadn’t heard them and were paying attention.
“I just asked if Valtteri preferred Mercedes or Alfa Romeo.” The interviewer filled in and you turned to Valtteri, a questioning look on your face. Surely he could handle that question? He vehemently shook his head. Alrighty then.
You brought out both your hands in front of you, prepared to gesture out an answer for Valtteri to say. But before you could a large force had pounded into your back, knocking you to the floor and landing on top of you. The weight was heavy but it was warm and… was it licking you? “Roscoe! Oh my god, I am so sorry!” A voice came from behind you.
Oh no.
While you had been mentally preparing an answer for Valtteri, Lewis had been walking around the media area, Roscoe in tow on a leash. The dog had been restless ever since he’d entered the pen, Lewis echoing that sentiment as he saw a brief glimpse of you. He wanted nothing more than to run to you but he couldn’t with media responsibilities weighing him down.
Eventually the interviewer’s fill of Roscoe was full and he was able to do a little bit of wandering around the area. Lewis had handed the leash of the now-agitated Roscoe to Angela as he went to go answer some more questions, the press incredibly curious about the dynamics of the car.
Angela, bless her soul, had tried her best to wrangle the dog, but his continuous pulling and barking was beginning to annoy some of the media. Seeing this, Angela had decided to just let the dog pull her away, Roscoe almost dragging her as he went. 
He had pulled her almost completely across the room before he got too violent and managed to rip the leash from her hands, leaving Angela stumbling in the dust as he began to run. Lewis had watched this happen, and continued to watch in horror as Roscoe ran up behind you.
One gigantic leap and you were pushed to the floor, the big bulldog nuzzling into your neck. The world seemed to almost go quiet before Angela ran over, trying to grab the collar of the rabid dog, asking if you were ok.
Lewis had started to move over, dismissing the reporter who he was talking to as he made his way to his dog and his ex-lover. He saw you roll over on the floor, a small sad smile on your face as the dog began slobbering over you. A few more steps and he was in front of you, scolding Roscoe and apologising as he effortlessly grabbed the dog’s collar and pulled him back.
You tried not to look in his eyes, knowing all your effort of trying to get over him would be null if you saw his face. You ignored the hand he extended, instead smoothing down your clothes as you sat on the floor, only pulling yourself up when he awkwardly lowered his hand, framing it as if you just didn’t see.
He knew though, he’d developed the unfortunate skill of reading you.
You didn’t look at him as you assured him you were fine and that he should continue with his interviews, only sparing a glance at Angela who looked at you with a regretful hint in her eyes. You didn’t want to think about that more than you had to, waving them off to more interviews. 
You turned around before you could see Lewis leave, thankfully not seeing the longing he had displayed over his face as he turned away, back to his interviews. 
Would you have been able to hold it together if you’d seen the look he’d shot you? No. Were you when you watched it back after the weekend? Also no.
You turned back to Valtteri, cracking a quick joke, before he got back to his interviews. You spent the rest of that day picking gravel out of your palms, trying to forget about the whole interaction. You wouldn’t let this break your progress, the handsome Canadian man in your contacts getting a ring that night as you tried to distract yourself.
After a few days of you cursing Roscoe for trying to see you while also feeling as though you should arrange some sort of custody agreement so you could see the beautiful beast, a notification had popped up on your phone. It was a recommended tweet, a news article about how Lewis had apparently split from his “new fling”. 
That sent you spiraling, questioning why on earth the algorithm had thought to show you this and wondering what you’d done wrong in your past life in order for this to be what was happening to you.
You’d only become more confused a day later, when Angela had sent you an email, saying that Lewis would like to meet up and apologise because of the media backlash. The thing was you’d seen no media backlash, people just finding the dog's enthusiasm funny. 
If there was any sort of trouble, you’d have seen it, it was your job after all, so you were left sitting on your couch, pondering what was the point of the meeting she was trying to set up.
You’d aired the email for a few days, wondering what you should do. You wanted to say yes, to talk to Lewis again and ask him what had happened, but you didn’t want to get hurt again. And you knew you’d be hurt when you saw him doing perfectly fine without you.
The fact that Angela was waiting for you to respond didn’t cross your mind till you received a text from an unknown number, politely asking you to respond. The older woman had waited till she knew you’d read the text, about five minutes, before sending a more desperate text. That had your eyebrows raising unwillingly, confused about why she had sent three “please”’s in one paragraph.
Regardless you fell victim to knowing how hard it was to try and manage a driver's personal and professional commitments and said yes. Only because you felt bad for Angela was what you kept telling yourself.
Eventually the day had come and you were dreading it, lying on your couch until the last second possible. The thought of canceling had popped through your head multiple times but it was too late now. The only way you could back out is if an emergency happened or you died on the way to the private restaurant Angela had insisted on booking, saying that even though the meeting was supposed to be platonic, it shouldn’t be aired to the public.
A deep sigh left you as you pulled yourself up and walked to your bedroom, dressing yourself in business clothes. You wanted to put effort in, but knowing that you’d definitely be embarrassed if you showed up glammed out and he showed up in a shirt and jeans, you decided against it. It was a business dinner anyway, simply to smooth over a wrong that had been committed against you. 
But it wasn’t a wrong, it was Roscoe pushing you over, which could hardly be considered a wrong and was more the dog testing the things he could get away with.
The real wrong was what Lewis had done to you. You hoped that you could get through the ordeal without talking about it, showing up and then posting a picture to Lewis’s instagram or something about how it was all good to appease the critics.
Except there were no critics, it was just Lewis wanting to have dinner with you. Or maybe it was just Angela trying to meddle. Maybe he was going to try to apologise for him ghosting you? You didn’t know if you would accept it.
You might’ve been able to accept it if he’d been honest from the start, telling you that he wouldn’t want you past the end of the break so you could quickly shut down the relationship before it started and move on with your life.
A thought that’d you always try to flush from your mind sprung to the front of it as you wondered. Maybe you were being too harsh. You’d never explicitly expressed what you were, maybe you had just been overthinking it the whole time you were together. Or rather, not together. 
But that would’ve been unfair to you anyways, you reassured yourself. Him letting you get a taste of his future before exempting you from it was a cruel thing to do to anyone.
A ring from your phone let you know that you should’ve been out the door at this point. You quickly cursed before grabbing your essentials and running to your entryway, pulling your shoes on, before grabbing your keys from the side table. 
After locking your door, you ran down the stairs to your apartment building and hailed a taxi. Luckily traffic wasn’t too bad, so you were able to arrive at the restaurant on time, quickly hurrying inside and getting led to your table.
You never had to worry about being late though, as Lewis wasn’t there when you got to the private booth. It was fine, he came from the other side of town so he’d probably only be a few minutes late.
It was about twenty minutes later you’d sighed and decided to ring Angela. Ironically, she didn’t pick up. You couldn’t help the bark of a laugh that left your throat, shaking your head at the sad reality of your situation.
Ghosted by two members of Mercedes. Maybe it was a good idea for Valtteri to move when he had, otherwise they may have just stopped picking up the phone. You gave him ten more minutes before trying Angela again. The same response. 
At this point you were sick of being made the fool of. Perhaps it was your fault for believing your dispute could be resolved, your fault for believing you were worth showing up for. You stood up with a pressure at the back of your eyes and began the walk from the private booth all the way at the back of the swanky restaurant to the exit.
Before you got even five meters from your table, the door to the restaurant slammed open. Everyone turned to stare at the heavily breathing world champion as he took a second to recoup himself. He didn’t let himself look at anyone in the restaurant as he straightened his suit and turned to the host, who looked a little shell shocked. A quick exchange later and the host stepped back from the little podium he was stood behind. 
You quickly scampered back to your seat, making it just in time and plastering an unimpressed look over your face. Looking back up, you could see Lewis scanning all the patrons of the premises before his eyes paused and locked onto you. 
The simple action of making eye-contact, a luxury which you had refused yourself during your bump with Roscoe, sent a lick of emotion down your spine. You couldn’t exactly read his face, you didn’t know what he was choosing to display or doing unwittingly after being played by him for months, but you believed he was relieved. 
When he arrived at the table he waved off the host with a small ‘thanks’ before sitting down in the seat opposite to you. It was silent for a few seconds, you both continuing eye contact. You were trying to find anything you could recognise in his eyes while he was just looking at you, at your face. 
“I’m sorry for being so late.” He spoke finally, a slight tilt growing at the corners of his lips. You didn’t respond and the awkwardness won him over after a few more seconds, something that was quite uncharacteristic of him. He coughed.
“The lift wouldn’t work, I’d left my keys, then no one would pull over. I tried to call you but my phone died, so I just ran trying to get here.” He said and averted his eyes, a mannerism you’d recognised as a nervous tick the couple of times you’d seen it. You didn’t know how to reply so you let your emotions take hold.
“Your call wouldn’t have gone through.” You said blankly and he looked back to you, before chuckling awkwardly. You didn’t find it funny.
“You would’ve had to unblock me first.” You needlessly elaborated, getting some sadistic enjoyment out of the way the man squirmed. He continued his awkward laughing, you joining in to laugh sardonically.
You didn’t know where this feeling, of needing him to a sliver of the uncomfortableness he’d caused you, had come from. The feeling you got from his discomfort wasn’t pleasure though, it felt empty as though it was pointless in the long run. You supposed it was, he wouldn’t remember you in a few years and your small petty actions wouldn’t even matter when he married the princess of some country. 
He cleared his throat, drawing your attention from your musings to his face.
“I wanted to apologise.” He stated bluntly and you raised an eyebrow. Yeah, no shit. He caught your expression and winced. 
“I should’ve had Roscoe on a tighter leash and not have given him to Angela. It was my fault-” You tuned him out as he continued, shaking your head in disbelief. Yeah sure, it was why the meeting had been arranged, but you’d genuinely thought he might’ve talked about the elephant in the room at some point. Maybe you were judging harshly though. Maybe after a few minutes he’d start talking about the model he’d piped the other day or the Albanian billionaire who wanted to be his sugar mommy.
You’d forgotten that he could read you like a book and had stopped when he realised you were no longer paying attention. He reached over the table to wave a hand in front of your eyes, an action that was very rude, and you reacted accordingly. You turned to face him, affronted, and he smiled at your expression before his face turned serious and he breathed a deep breath.
“I didn’t know if you’d want to talk about what had happened.” He said finally, staring down at the table, and you scoffed, crossing your arms in front of your buttons. You started to talk, the words leaving your mouth before you could properly think about them, hurt blurring your thoughts.
“Of course I would love to recount the time I came home and I found my place ransacked.” You said, the fakeness of your enthusiasm leaking into your words causing him to flinch.
“I’d love to talk about the messages I sent you before I realised I’d been blocked. Sure, let’s talk about how, not even two weeks after telling me you thought we’d have a future together, you’d completely left me, without a word of discussion.” You finally let out, almost strangling your throat closed so as to not let more of the hurt out. This was a work-related dinner after all and you didn’t want to draw more attention than Lewis already had.
His face had fallen, an incredibly unfamiliar look coating his face and you tried to stop yourself before you spoke, trying to tame the biting uncertainties in your head.
“Was it because I’d moved companies?” You questioned and he looked up. “Should I not have followed Valtteri?” Your question floated in the air and he shook his head, a sorrowful expression taking over his face.
“Then why?” You asked after a second and he paused, not responding. You, tired of his silence, thought about all the reasons you’d gone over in your head, and settled on the one that made the most sense to you. Looking back, it was probably the most unrealistic, but it made sense to the angry and sad mindset you had.
“Was it because I couldn’t afford everything?” His head snapped up, shock colouring his features. “I could’ve moved to a new apartment if it bothered you, having to stay over at my place. I knew you didn’t do a lot of things that break because I couldn’t pay, but you could’ve told me if you wanted to. I do have a savings account I could’ve dipped into.” You said quietly, looking down at the table, all the fight having been sapped from your body. 
You were tired. You didn’t know what the time difference was between you and Canada, but you were sure that you could set an alarm and wake up to spill your guts to the stranger, it was better than telling anyone you knew. 
Lewis called your name but you didn’t look up from the table, hoping to not see any form of confirmation in his eyes. He reached a hand over the table, this time to not be rude but to lift your chin up and look in your eyes. He contemplated for a second before speaking softly.
“I thought it was what you wanted.” He said and you reared back, completely shocked before he continued.
“You kept going to meetings with Alfa Romeo and I thought it was your subtle way of telling me to fuck off. You know, that you had more important things to worry about than a driver from your old company. We’d never talked about what we were and I just thought…” He paused for a second here, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked at the wall before looking back into your eyes.
“I thought I could bite the bullet, leave before you could tell me to go. And it worked in the end, you’ve been doing exceptionally well. I haven’t seen a bad story about Valtteri in months.” He said and withdrew his hand as he leaned back against the chair behind him.  You processed his words for a moment before he cleared his throat, drawing you back to look at him.
“I would never, by the way.” He disclosed quietly and you tilted your head. He continued. “I don’t mind if you have the money or not, for that break your apartment was the best place for me.” 
The use of the present tense threw you off for a second, leaving you to rearrange yourself in your seat and clear your throat as you thought of a response. You couldn’t, opening your mouth but no words coming out. He’d stunned you into silence. You finally found your voice after steeling yourself for a second. “W-what about umm… what was her name?” You asked, a stutter permeating your words. He just sighed, letting his head fall slack to stare at the table. 
“It was a mistake.” He said quietly, and guilt for the poor girl rushed through you. “I thought that after I’d let you go I should at least try to find something as a replacement.” He looked up at you.
“I couldn’t though, no one could match to you. But I couldn’t leave her without a reason.” 
He leaned further back in his seat, his voice terse as he spoke. “She gave me plenty of reason after I caught her in bed with her ex.” You winced at the tone of his voice and gave him a second to collect his thoughts. Even if he was trying to break it off, it’s never a good feeling to be cheated on. 
You spoke up after a second, trying to clear the silence between you and deciding he should know about your fling after you’d ended if this dinner was going to way you thought it was.
“I met a man in Canada.” You said hesitantly and you saw his shoulders drop.
“Oh.” He said quietly, before shaking himself out as if he was a cat and plastering a smile on his face. Lewis made eye-contact and asked you a question.
“What’s his name?” Fake-enthusiasm permeated his question, as though he was trying to hide his disappointment. 
You didn’t want to address that, though you knew you had to. Could you take him back? You didn’t know for sure if he would leave you again, which scared you. The whole idea of taking him back scared you, though the thought of more time with him that wasn’t spent trying to avoid looking his way made you hopeful. You tried not to feel that way, knowing that you shouldn’t base your happiness on the man.
But he had apologised and explained his reasoning. As much as you wanted to curse him out for not talking with you, it did make sense. Feelings of inadequacy were present in every person, no matter how remarkable they were.
Look at you, already being hypocritical over your own words. You’d said you didn’t know if you’d take him back, but now you were already planning it. Was that pathetic? You didn’t like to think it was, but maybe you were wrong, ignoring your dignity in favour of the man.
God, if only the world was more simple and less complicated. If only you hadn’t gotten locked in an elevator, if only Roscoe hadn’t been as adorable as he was, if only you’d said no to this dinner. If only you’d just talked about your feelings from the start instead, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.
Too late now though, you supposed, snapping back to the present and leveling eye-contact with Lewis. You contemplated your words, knowing they’d probably either be the start or the end of your time with him.
“I don’t remember.” You said finally, staring at Lewis’ face as a smile that he tried to contain spread over it.
“You don’t remember his name?” He asked, almost trying to confirm his words and you shook your head. He couldn’t control his smile, trying to mask it behind a cough. You only started to grin in response, looking into his eyes as they slowly turned back into half-moons.
A cleared-throat startled you both out of your bubble and you turned to the waiter, who looked as if he had just watched a soap opera play out in front of him. He awkwardly held out menus to the both of you and you quickly accepted them, apologising for making him stand awkwardly for so long.
When he’d left you both had looked at each other and exchanged smiles. The dinner had continued and it was as lovely as Lewis himself. That is to say, very lovely. 
After paying and making the walk to Lewis’ house, you both stumbled into Lewis’ abode, not able to keep your hands off of each other. However a large obstacle had stopped you from taking it further, namely the heavy weight of the british bulldog that decided to settle himself on top of you the second you’d walked through the door.
You could barely hear Lewis’s laughter over the sound of Roscoe licking the side of your face, you muffling your own laughter into the carpet. 
When you’d next seen Valtteri, he’d only taken one glance at your neck before shooting you a smirk, the knowing glance he had on his face making you roll your eyes as you pushed him to his interviews.
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i got stuck halfway through but i just wanted it overrrr. Hopefully it's not too bad, let me know in the comments.
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toadlessgirl · 1 year
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Okay, time to get pretentious and REALLY talk about this shot.
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So put on your over-analysis goggles, and let’s talk about the Imperial Cog, Renaissance-era military forts, 18th century prison architecture, the military-industrial complex, the surveillance state, and why this single shot of Mon Mothma standing in a doorway in “Nobody’s Listening!” (the 9th episode of Andor season one) is making me so feral I want to kiss Luke Hull and his entire production design team right on the mouth.
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For those of you not in the know - the shape on the screen behind Major Partagaz is the crest of the Galactic Empire - often called the Imperial Cog. It appears throughout Star Wars media on flags, tie fighter helmets, uniforms and as a glowing hologram outside ISB HQ.
In canon it was adapted from the crest of the Galactic Republic. 
irl it was created by original trilogy costume designer John Mollo. Mollo has stated that the symbol was inspired by the shape of historical fortifications.
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Bastion forts (aka star forts) first appear during the Renaissance with the advent of the cannon. Their shape eliminated blind spots, allowing for a 360 degree field of fire.
An apt metaphor for the Empire. Powerful, imposing and leaving you with nowhere to hide.
The Imperial crest also strongly resembles a gear or cog - hence the common “Imperial Cog” nickname.
Given how inextricably linked military and industry are, it’s also an apt metaphor. Both alluding to the Empire’s massive industrial power, and how it treats all of its citizens with a startling lack of humanity, valuing them only for what they are able to produce for the Empire.
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The idea of the cog is repeated in the shape of whatever it is that they’re producing in the prison. They’re literally cogs in the Imperial machine making more cogs for the machine... while inside a larger cog.
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This shape, in relation to a prison, also references something else which was almost certainly intentional on the production team’s part.
In the 1791 British philosopher and social theorist Jeremy Bentham proposed a design for a prison he referred to as the “panopticon” - the name derived from the Greek word for “all seeing”.
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The basic design for the panopticon was a large circular rotunda of cells with a single watchtower in the center. The plan would allow a single guard to theoretically observe every cell in the prison, but more importantly cause the prisoners to believe they are under surevillance at all times, while never being certain.
Later philosophers (notably Michel Foucault) used the panopticon as a metaphor for social control under totalitarian regimes or surveillance states. The perceived constant surveillance of a panopticon causes prisoners to self-police due to the belief they are always being watched, even if they don’t know for certain that is true. They live in constant fear even if nobody is actually watching them, even if “Nobody’s Listening!” 
The idea of the metaphorical panopticon has in more recent years been adapted to many other examples of social control: CCTV, social media and business management...
Like the concept of cubicles in an open floor plan office.
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So that all being established - let’s finally talk about Mon Mothma’s apartment.
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The cog shape is everywhere. There’s hardly a shot where at least one cog isn’t visible. Every room is connected by cog-shaped doorways.
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The shape serves as a backdrop to most scenes, often centered and featured prominently.
(Side Note: The cog also appears as a repeated pattern on room dividers with the interesting added detail of intersecting lines that make them resemble spider webs.
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The fact that Mon is often filmed directly through these web-like screens (particularly when conducting rebellion business) leads me to believe that this was a very intentional choice.
Even in the very heart of the Empire the nascent Rebellion is starting to build a web of networks and intelligence.)
I had originally presumed that the repeated appearance of the cog was just Luke Hull and his production team adding some brilliant visual storytelling to their already amazing sets. But the following line from episode ten leads me to believe they intended for these details to have an in-story explanation as well.
When speaking to Tay and Davo Skuldon about the apartment Mon states that “It’s state property. The rules are strict on decor. Our choices for change are limited.”
While it’s unclear whether the “state” in this instance is Mon’s home planet of Chandrila or the Empire itself - that second option makes the decor even more insidious.
If Mon’s apartment is Empire property that means the shape of the doors is intentional in-world, not just for the sake of visual storytelling. It means that this was a conscious decision by the Empire. A reminder to even the richest and most powerful of its citizens that they are always watching - whether you can see them or not.
Which brings us back to our original shot.
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My favorite thing about this shot isn’t just that is shows how very alone Mon Mothma is. 
It isn’t just that she’s in the heart of the Empire, surrounded and dwarfed - just another cog in their machine.
It isn’t just that’s she trapped in her own metaphorical prison, worrying her self sick about who may be watching, not safe even in her own home.
What makes this shot truly extraordinary to me, is that right in the midst of the Empire you can see a new symbol forming.
Forming with Mon Mothma right at the center.
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It’s a bit blocky, still constrained by the the harsh lines of the Empire, but giving how intentional every design decision on this show has been I find it pretty hard to believe it’s there by accident.
A symbol that will one day adorn the helmet of a boy from Tatooine.
One that will come to represent what all rebellions are built on...
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