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redstrewn · 6 months

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As inspired by Musa's inclusion of the song "Hamlet" into their Leander playlist, I have Cliffsnotes-ed the play (because I never read/studied it before) and go on a whole unedited, completely disorganized, messy ramble about it in association with Leander. (More brainstorming than coherently presenting an essay lmfao.)

Advisory

Please bear in mind I haven't read the actual text and I'm just going off summaries off of literal Cliffsnotes. So if you want to scream at me for interpreting things the wrong way or just completely getting things wrong, be kind, but I welcome you to do so lol.

Originally this was going to be part of my response to Musa's ask linking their playlist, but this got pretty long so it's a separate post now.

Now onto the actual ramble

I'm cliffsnoting this and GAD DAYM this is wild. the blurring of deception and reality is really interesting and on topic. self-fulfilling prophecy but more like self-fulfilling....persona lol? self-fulfilling visage idk self-fulfilling mask!!! yes. self-fulfilling mask. growing into the mask for real.

Also the topic of justice/honor/societal values...making me think of Leander's appearance of caring for doing "better" than the Senobium. it kind of appears simplistic, when yeah it's pretty much a given the Bloodhounds are doing some dubious shit. "Doing good" becomes a complex, muddied thing. Is it a "the end justifies the means" kind of thing? Morals morals morals. Hero of lowtown. Such a seemingly shining beacon of hope. But as they say, the brighter the light, the darker the shadow. The hypocrisy of societal values and hamlet as a focus...I think abt Leander giving me hypocrisy vibes fr. Often comes from people who deem themselves perfect lmao. Narcissists especially. On brand. Plus I'm thinking because of the magician tarot, and his behavior in the demo, he's the "psychological horror" option on the uquiz: which plays into the internal conflicts kind of thing. Conflicting ideas within a person and the struggle over that. I already rambled about that on my faustus post so i'll save you from that again lmao.

Hamlet's recklessness is the result of realizing that the moral codes he once held to be of value are no longer applicable and, perhaps, broadly irrelevant.

Leander for real sooo seems to hold on to morals, which is funny because he's a monster all the same. Speaks so disapprovingly of the groupmind and the Senobium's cruelty (again the hypocrisy). He's canonically described as a ringleader, so it's interesting to see how far he slips from his first perceived moralities and further to darkness--and how far he tries to justify everything he does maybe. I don't know. Again, "end justifies the means." I keep thinking of that Ursula K. De Guin quote, "The end justifies the means, but what if there never is an end? All we have is means." Which like...lol quite relevant with Leander's themes of endlessness. "Mages lust for power, it's always their downfall." When does it end???? It ends only when his life does.

The political corruption in Denmark deeply affects Hamlet, and he develops an obsession with physical corruption, decay, and death.

As Hamlet works to uncover the “rotten” core of Denmark, he is shocked and dismayed by both the actual deaths he comes across and the figurative deaths he stumbles upon—like, for instance, the death of honor or decency. In this way, Shakespeare implies that physical degradation is indicative of broader forms of spiritual, political, and social decay.

HUUUUHHHHH......Talented mage son that was meant to attend the prestigious but messed up academy...leaves his cushy nest to pursue his own dreams. Dislikes said academy. Leads a group of "do-gooders" that have the same feelings. States he's better than that academy. Speaks like a stickler for morals. Decorated with symbols about the cycle of life and immortality. Hm. Yeah. Interesting and fun. I keep thinking about how he gives me the vibes that he's dying and desperate. I don't know if he's actually dying but I get the vibe he's running away from something, partying and working and not resting adequately as he does. There's a "decay" somewhere, I feel like. I mean, Vere fucking hates him and he can see into souls. Hates him enough that he's the one listed in Vere's dislikes instead of Kuras. What the fuck is going on with Leander, spiritually? ROFL.

This leads to one of the play’s most important moments of reflection on the inevitability of death and decay. Hamlet reflects on how all the things he knew of Yorick in life—his wit, warmth, and physical attributes—are gone forever.He realizes that this applies to all people, no matter how great or small. He is both saddened and comforted by the process of decay, inquiring of the gravediggers how long it takes for flesh to rot off of bones.

It took me reading this paragraph to realize Leander's dislike of Ais's groupmind can be because they're technically dead. I mean, if Ais's flowers and the seemingly "last letter" notes on the Seaspring pillars are anything to go by. It's like a grave. People speculate the uptick of Ais's flowers are associated with actual more deaths happening, whether from drinking from the Seaspring or generally due to the state of their world. Jeez.

Hamlet's fixation on death shows that he feels powerless to stop what is happening in Denmark.

It took me reading this sentence to see how Leander's lust for power can be attributed to the final, insurmountable fact that is death. I mean yeah, I got the fact that he was power hungry to get to godhood and seems to be allergic to death, but my dumb ass didn't really like. Connect that the lust for power is directly specifically because of death and not just like....wanting power for the sake of doing good for all. But then again, maybe overcoming death has something to do with his idea of doing good. I don't fucking know. How much is his "do-good" is sincere and how much of it is just a front to his hidden selfish agenda? Is he even conscious of his hidden selfish agenda? Or has he near-completely deluded even himself and not just other people that he has completely pure and righteous nature?

After all this I don't have a good conclusion paragraph. I'm just stewing shit in my mind. It's good food. Thank you. I may have stretched shit completely irrelevant to Leander and still made it about him anyway, but that's my hobby babeeyyyyy. Feel free to drop some thoughts. I'd be surprised if anyone actually reads this brainvomit lmao

#redstrewn leandering

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mythvoiced · 1 year

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🌙 S𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬.

1. What does your muse smell like?

Whatever scent seems most suited to a given situation. Sarang is a con-artist and a perfectionist, she can hardly blink without first studying and researching how exactly she should blink given the surrounding circumstances and potential observers, so colouring the air she occupies with particular perfumes according to the impression she’s trying to make seems like a given.

More often than not, though, other than choosing particular scents she feels are usually carried by the group of people she’s trying to mimic/pretend always having been part of, she seems to prefer ‘classically femminine’ scents, I’m talking anything that is soft and non-disruptive and vaguely reminds of period dramas and innocence. She herself doesn’t particularly enjoy being associated with, say, virginity in a holy sense, but she’s found that being small appeals to a wider demographic than given alternatives.

All in all, she’s most definitely wearing something artificial, something that adds and wasn’t acquired naturally via exposure to certain things. Otherwise, she could easily carry the faint scent of that particular type of chalk used by athletes and given types of performers, the kind to absorb sweats and guarantees a stronger hold? That because she’s kind of a climber at times.

Then, there’s the potential of a feint remnant left behind by the whatever she may use to wax the strings of her bows.

But, yeah, anything natural is usually masked up.

2. What do your muse’s hands feel like?

A lot softer than they should be.

Sarang is an archer and a climber, her athleticism doesn’t make as much of an appearance in threads or even my yelling about her due to lack of opportunity, but because Sarang values her independence so much and her anonymity even more so, she does enjoy being quick, quiet, and stealthy if given the opportunity, and not necessarily walking through the front door.

Then, of course, there’s the fact that she doesn’t use special gloves or anything of the sort when handling a bow (or any kind of weapon), even though she could, which should lead to calluses at the very least on the tip of her fingers.

Alas, Sarang’s immortality is characterised by her body simply fixing any given injuries by ‘resetting’, regenerating the area to its ‘original’ state, which means the very developing of calluses is impossible for her.

Therefore... they’re soft.

3. What does your muse usually eat in a day?

She doesn’t really care so there’s no true ‘usual’. It’s not because she won’t die even if she refuses to eat - which isn’t what’s prompting her to not care as much because almost starving to death without ever quite dying does not sound like fun. It’s because she simply does not care. She’s never had food missing, back in her youth (pre-immortality) she was a daughter of a relatively well-regarded Yangban family, she never had to worry about food, she never had to care, it’d show up eventually.

After she died and became a knight, for quite some time, the worry was taken from her again, and although the switch from food of the time to whatever the Order feeds their knights can’t have been too easy, Sarang was already digging herself neck-deep into plans and strategies and caring about what food she was consuming simply wasn’t on her priority list.

So nowadays she simply eats whatever she happens to stumble into. She doesn’t cook, she rarely eats at the same place, she’ll walk into somewhere, order something on the menu she has a secure enough idea won’t disgust her, and boom. Or other times, she’ll just eat whatever is in someone else’s home lmao

4. Does your muse have a good singing voice?

Nah. Sarang is beautiful and deadly, making her a good singer as well doesn’t sit right with me. But she’s not a bad singer either, she won’t have birbs spontaneously crash down from their trees in an attempt to be freed of her croaking, but she’s really not got much going for herself. It’s just vaguely okay, nothing special, hardly defined, and probably just breathy humming. Luckily, she doesn’t like singing so she still gets to win here.

5. Does your muse have any bad habits or nervous ticks?

Oh boy WELL, I’ll use Ro’s system and split them into two separate paragraphs hoping I can keep my thoughts in check like that.

Bad habits: Just about everything Sarang does outside of a job is a bad habit if directly related or considered from the point of view of whoever she’s subjecting herself to. To be more direct, Sarang has a disregard for the feelings (and schedules) of others that has gotten bad enough that she will literally go out of her way to mess with someone in a given field. This leads to poor time-management skills where she’ll waste an entire day on nonsense and then have to catch up on eating and sleeping as afterthoughts. For that matter, she’s got little interest in the most mundane types of self-care, she’ll do the skin-care routine and respect herself and her voice, but also literally not eat for two days because she doesn’t value that as much as other things.

Nervous ticks: Sarang is always touching her hair. It usually looks as though part of her act, she moves the strands according to the impression she’d like to make, slow sensual tucking, shy twirling, anything like that. But in truth, she simply started taking advantage of a tick that was already deeply ingrained in her, she’s always done this. She does the tapping her fingers on surfaces, or on herself (crossed arms, legs, so thigh and bicep for one), relatively often; she makes repeated noises that I lack the vocabulary to describe, nothing loud or out there, but if you pay attention you’ll catch her. The trick here is, the one she works on, to always make it look casual and bored rather than nervous.

6. What does your muse usually look like / wear?

Whatever will get her what she came here to get. From cute gardener denim overall with colourful hairclips (what a sight, when can I write this) to floor-length tight-fitting black dresses with a split, whatever works for the circumstances, that she’ll wear.

When she doesn’t have or want to create a given picture, she prefers anything that gives her mobility, meaning, unlike all the flower dresses she wears, she actually prefers pants as well as some sturdy boots that are good for running and climbing. You’ll probably find her dressed like a YA hunter lady, just slightly to the left because she’d actually choose realistically useful gear.

Though, she will braid her hair, it’s just a tighter hold than a simple ponytail.

7. Is your muse affectionate? How much? How so?

Now this one’s a lil tricky because? Yes and no? Depends on which Sarang we’re talking. A Sarang on the job can very well be quite affectionate, if... you know, the usual, it helps her get what she wants to get. But the affections here are shallow and acted, they hardly feel like affections even if you don’t know she’s faking them.

Sarang in an actual genuine context where she could be genuinely affectionate, well, she’d probably hold herself back from being too outright. She does have the ability to harbour a lot of fondness for people, she can care very deeply. But to get her to show affection? If she does get to that point, she’s a lot about... caretaking, in a way. Being a protector, of sorts. But also an aggressor on someone else’s behalf, the kind of ‘I’ll take revenge for you’. Although I feel that’s a different answer to a different question.

She’s a lot about gentle touches as well. Thumb across skin, holding both your hands, caring for your wounds, brushing your hair out of your face, short momentary lingering touches that she tries to take back later.

8. What position does your muse sleep in?

All curled up baby, fetal position to add that extra layer of ‘oh this muse is definitely traumatised’. While she knows for a fact she will come back even if she’s killed, so technically she mustn’t fear death, she still, let’s say, respects the pain that could lead to it and would rather avoid it - not to mention to unmentionable that she knows if she fell asleep in the wrong place, anyone could go for her in other ways if she wasn’t trained to keep that from happening.

So she keeps an arrowhead tightly gripped in her hand, shoves said hand under her pillow, and then curls together as tightly as possible.

9. Could you hear your muse in the hallway from another room?

Probably not but it’d also depend on circumstances - it’s always circumstantial with these assholes, I swear- She does have a relatively ‘soft’ step and definitely shoots for a quiet one, but she’s rarely wearing footwear that aid her in that, be it heels or even some chunky boots, they tend to make noise. As for whether you could hear speak or so from another room, she doesn’t talk a lot or very loudly if she can help it, so probably not. You might be able to make out her voice being there, sure, but not necessarily what she’s saying.

✨ TAGGED BY: @tewwor TYSM ♥

✨ TAGGING: @voxvulgi @theimpalpable @wantedformanysins @intergalacticxmisfits @kamipyre @vulpesse @lcghthouse @wellfell @eclavigne @the27percent @thegreenswillcome @seekesotsibteadmist @astremourante @derelictsouls @grimesucker @guttersniper & YOU

#;ooc #the success;about #long post tw #been a lil obsessed with Sarang lately MWAH #but holy shit Ro the way i was losing my mind reading your answers for Clarence pls stop i love him so why do you have to be so funny--#i SCREAMING i wrote 'feral' position on accident but why is that still somehow accurate

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fox-buried-in-maple-leaves · 1 year

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another oc ask game w ohm ♡

- local ohm kisser

have i ever mentioned that ohm says trans rights

🛏️ What does your OC’s bed look like? What would they like their bed to look like?

Neat, he always makes his bed. Queen size, he always sleeps on the side nearest to the window furthest from the door. The other side almost always remains neat, unslept in. The sheets themselves are a navy blue, the comforter is a light purple with a white design. Every time he has to wash his sheets he has to painstakingly pick his long ass hair out of the sheets, its very annoying. Sorry if you end up eating a few strands.

🐁 Capybaras are friend-shaped. What shape does your OC have?

He's the shape of someone you can trust but is always fluctuating, there's no definition. It makes him dangerous.

🌧️ What is the favorite thing for you OC to do on a rainy day?

Read in front of the fireplace wrapped in a warm blanket. Maybe even bake something that smells sweet and warms the cottage.

🪨 Someone gifts your OC a shiny rock. What do they do with it?

He'll put it on one of his bookshelves, tucked beside several other mysterious items you can only assume are gifts.

🐹 Which would be your OCs favorite Pokemon? What kind of trainer would they be?

In our AU, Ohm is the professor of the Zima region! He studies pokemon isolation in reference to people. His most notable pokemon is an Espeon named Luna.

🎲 If your OC played a pen and paper RPG, what class would they pick? Warrior, mage, thief, ranger, cleric, paladin, druid, necromancer, bard (or other, if that’s not enough).

So this is interesting, I have thought of Ohm as a DnD class which would be a Grave Domain Cleric/Phantom Rogue. But if he CHOSE a role to play? Either a Life Domain Cleric or the homebrew Dream Domain Cleric!

🎮 If your OC lives or would live in the modern world, would they like video games? What would be their favorite game?

Yes lol- he'd use them to destress after work. But the thing is he LOVES horror games? How is that destressing, Ohm??

👎 Is there someone your OC can’t stand, despite them being on the same side or sharing basic values?

I want to say Kaeya but they are best friends most of the time LMAO- Uhh who else.. Oh I forgot! Seamus Pegg, the Seneschal. They don't get along AT ALL. They're on the same side, but they don't view things the same way. Varka has had to come between them several times.

🌈 Does your OC speak more than one language? If so, how many and which?

(Fantasy) Japanese, German, English, French, conversational Mandarin, and he can read/write Latin. I think there's more? But I can't remember right now. Either way, both of the twins are Polyglots. Languages also come naturally to them.

In non 'canon' Ohm can also speak basic Icelandic!

🥪 On a scale from ‘burns water’ to '5 course menu’ how well can your OC cook?

You won't be disappointed if he cooks for you. He's a better baker, but he's one of my most passable lmao-

📚 Your OC has to improvise a 10 minute lecture about a topic of their choosing. What do they chose?

You give HIM a topic and he'll improvise a ten minute lecture on it, he's that good.

🪄 Does your OC have any special powers? If so, are they normal in this OC’s universe?

Yes, and some of his abilities are normal but rare. Allogenes aren't supremely common unless they changed the lore again. But they're not not normal. It's his immortality and transference abilities that aren't considered normal.

🎨 Does your OC have any craft skill, as a hobby or profession? If so which?

He can sew ^^

🌳 Would your OC survive for a week on their own in the wilderness?

Yes lol, easily. He has several times, for longer too.

🌊 Has your OC ever seen the ocean? If not, do they want to? What do they think of it?

Ohm is terrified of water, and given he was born in Inazuma.. Lol. He also hates getting near the water in Liyue. He's not a fan of water, let alone the ocean. "Too vast. Too unknown."

🥞 Does your OC take proper care of themselves, like getting enough sleep and eating properly?

He tries to, but he forgets to eat and sleep and drink water frequently. He's very busy.

🤝 Does your OC have someone they want at their side when they are scared? Who?

He wants Sulien ): he wants his brother home.

🌌 If your OC has a nightmare, what’s it most likely about?

Ohm frequently deals with nightmares regarding his karma. He can get physically injured from these nightmares, which makes them all the more terrifying. And he can't do anything about that.

🪤 What is one thing that could be used to lure your OC into a trap?

Just say someone needs rescuing honestly lol

🎒 If your OC had to pick three things of all their belongings to keep, which would they chose?

Excluding his favours, since he can't exactly part with those. His brother's fox plush, his parents' destroyed visions, and a photo of him and the ragnvindr brothers when they were younger.

🕐 Was there ever a time your OC would have given everything to turn back the clock 5 minutes? What happened?

Stares at when he got marred and then lost his brother in less than 5 minutes, looks back at you. anyways i think he'd do that differently.

🎭 What is the one thing your OC regrets most? Would they undo it, considering how their life turned out?

Going to Snezhnaya, man he regrets the fuck outta that. He thinks about the what ifs all of the time.

🔪 What does your OC think how they’ll die?

Ohm was supposed to die young, he wasn't supposed to keep going. He knew he was going to die doing his duty. That was a fact of his life from a young age. And he feels betrayed that that was stolen from him.

📅 If your OC had one day left to live, how would they spend it?

Alone, thankful.

#☾*✲⋆. Essence of Myrrh #⋆｡°✩ Ohm

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mindfulwrath · 4 years

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More immortal Fake AH Crew? More immortal Fake AH Crew.

#ahfic #ragehappy #fahc #immortal fahc #fake ah crew #fanfic #for a given value of ''immortal'' lmao

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alucardownsmyass · 3 years

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Hi! I'm new to the Hellsing fandom and want to start fanfics for Alucard! I really love the way you write him and you seem to have so much understanding of him so I was wondering if you could help please? So say his bride is a virgin and they are about to bed each other. Would he make sure to turn her into a vampire first? What would he be like and what would their lives possibly be after? If you have any hc's or opinions, I'd love to hear! It's probably very self explanatory but I'm new and he's difficult to write haha! It is okay if you don't want to answer!

WELCOME AND THANK YOUUU! i've been waiting for someone to ask me something like this for so long!! i've never posted them, but i have a bunch of notes written down regarding his lover being untouched. most are from years ago though and need to be edited lmao. i'll type up something new for you that hopefully helps you understand his character a bit more! if not, PLEASE tell my dumbass to redo it.

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just to set you in on some background! being a virgin had so much more meaning back during the times when he was human. the real, historical vlad drăculea literally used to demand that women who lost theirs before marriage suffer impalement, so it's pretty precise how significant one's virginity was to him! 😭 bram stoker of course based his dracula novel on some of the history of vlad iii, so this is probably why the whole 'vampires loving virgins' became a thing. hirano based his version of dracula on both the real vlad and the novel, so this also explains why maintaining your virginity in the hellsing universe is important, and why deflowered humans turn into ghouls. it's a very clever reference imo!

not to mention, it's all just a bunch of religious nature—like where the bible says that you can only participate in sex after marriage, and ancient christianity put virgins on such high pedestals because it was viewed as being pure. of course, vampires are seen as demonic beasts, so that is also where their obsession with virgins stem from—they want to taint their innocence; your typical demon vs. god / good vs. evil trope. but you'll find that alucard is quite far from demonic or evil despite the things he's done. you have to look deep, but there is a layer to him that doesn't make him so much the monster that he thinks he is. he cries, has nightmares, cares for people even if only a few and harbors regrets. monsters don't have, feel or do any of those things.

he'd want his partner's first time to be extremely beautiful and eventful. keep in mind that he was sexually assaulted once; he wouldn't wish what he went through on anyone, so he'd want them to also enjoy their first time because he himself did not get the chance to. if they want him to be gentle, he will. if they request he roughen it up, you bet he will. it's their virginity. he's not going to put himself first during a moment in one's life where he was taught had value. he adores them and wants to show them just how much he does. i have always viewed him as an 'actions speak louder than words' kind of man. perhaps it is rare that he'll say "i love you" but he will damn sure show it.

you also requested headcanons and questioned if he'd turn his lover, so i'll put a few examples below! god, writing them is probably gonna make me tear up lmao. i hope these end up helping you, and thank you for coming to me for the question!

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he'll give you a choice if you want to become a creature of the night or not before he begins, hovering his lips over your fluttering pulse. he'll leave a few kisses against it, just for you to know where his bite shall implant lest you desire vampirism. immortality, in his eyes, is only to be given to those who are deserving—and to him, you deserved his kingdom and more.

say yes, and he will ask if you are sure in your decision one final time. have confidence in your answer and look him in the eyes so he knows for certain that you're willing to place your hand in his for the rest of your life. for eternity. say yes again, and you will feel his hand gently craning your chin to the side for the exposure of your neck. "it's going to hurt at first, my queen, but you wouldn't have come this far if you were unfit of bearing the brunt of a little pain, now, would you?"

if you choose no and wish to remain within the womb of humanity, he will most definitely respect your decision; not only out of love, but because you chose to stay the same. that's something he didn't do in his past, so he admires that. he will be more protective of you, though, since you did not choose to be a vampire and are more vulnerable in comparison.

he appreciates humanity and it's ongoing cycle of ages, and would adore witnessing you grow as the years begin to mold your skin into wrinkles and your hair to grays. even when you become too old that you can barely stand, he will vow to be the reason that you continue to walk. of course, the most difficult part will be having to witness you in your deathbed, but he will always remember you as the light that casted upon his darkness, the one that gave motive for him wanting to walk the dreadful earth for a bit longer. your grave will remain the very first thing he visits every moonrise, a reminder that perhaps, for the first time in his existence, he isn't truly alone.

#hellsing #hellsing ultimate #hellsing alucard #alucard #alucard hellsing #hellsing ova #kouta hirano #hellsing anime #anime #ova #headcanon #hellsing headcanons #alucard x reader #vampire

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allmerlin · 2 years

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hi!!!! how would u make merlin better in general like if u were the writer; what would u have done differently?

I think it’s been over a year since you sent this lmao (sorry). But alas, here we are. I’m rising from the grave to make headcanons come alive.

I would’ve made at least 1 season about the aftermath of Merlin revealing his magic to Arthur. I think a big appeal of the show is the anticipation of that reveal (which is why they constantly make it Almost happen) but I also think they did viewers wrong in not giving us the whole satisfaction of that. We never got to see Arthur unwrapping the secrets, his reaction to hearing about certain events, how his values would change and how his friendship with Merlin could potentially evolve. Like Merlin - we never really got any closure.

I would’ve scrapped the whole “Merlin is immortal” thing because fuck that trope. It makes the character too strong and makes the shit he goes through have much less impact. Even though I know this fandom has had great fun with our modern!aus and reincarnation stuff, it’s still an ending choice I strongly disagree with as it not only takes away the mythical feeling of the show but also, again, provides no closure.

Elyan and Gwaine wouldn’t have died. :) Lancelot would have died but would not have been dishonored or brushed over- the impact on Merlin, including consequences of him once again having no one who Knows on his side, would be focused on more.

Late seasons Gwen and Gwaine would have been ‘truer’ to the past seasons of them. Gwen as a queen should still be allowed to be lively and partake in trouble and be Merlin’s best friend!! Gwaine should not have gone from “I hate royalty” to “I’ll kill this wizard for insulting my King” without ??? any reason???

Morgana- the shows’ greatest and most understandable villain deserved a FAR greater death than being fucking stabbed. Where’s the epic duel? Where’s emotion, the heartbreak? They also shouldn’t have made all the shows’ “bad guys” be oppressed parties revolting (especially in later seasons). It’s strange and makes it so much harder to sympathize with the main characters. Complexity of good and bad is not negative in itself, but it requires the show to actually fully embrace and explore that complexity first.

Uhh what else? I personally would’ve loved if magic and How All That works was explored more in the show. You know, in depth. Also like the dragons... more of them. Less Kilgharrah, but more stolen dragon eggs!! Gwen should get one!! Mithian should’ve been in more episodes and the iconic trio of Arthur, Merlin & Gwaine should’ve appeared together in the later part of the show. I would have made the show more queer because why the fuck not?

There’s more stuff, obviously. Also some things that is more difficult for me to explain in a tumblr post I’m writing on the spot; general tone of the show etc. I’ll add more to this if I ever find the energy and/or more comes to my mind.

I also want to NOTE that all of this is reliant on me having the creative freedom of doing whatever the fuck I want with the show. I know the writers of Merlin obviously had a budget and guidelines / certain amounts of episodes and seasons. This is not an attempt to shit on the writers of the show, it’s just my personal opinions. Because despite of being utterly terrible in aspects - this show has made me laugh my ass off, provided me something safe to sink into during less than fun times, and given me indescribable amounts of joy.

#bbc’s merlin #merlin meta #asks #if you’re still out there somewhere anon....#u have my love and apologies #I appreciated the ask I’m just dumb!!#merlin

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 3 years

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What’s your opinion for Leo’s reaction to finding out the mc was immortal as well- not necessarily a vampire, maybe they’re some other type of supernatural. I’m really curious because Leo seems like he’s mainly in love with the mc bec they are human.

Hi lovely!!! Always wonderful to see you, hope you’re well! 💛💛💛💛💛

Tbh I think my opinion remains the same about something like this? I'm going to link to an ask I wrote up a while ago, only because it's v pertinent to the subject matter and good background for what I’m going to expand on here.

That being said, I'm happy to kind of tl;dr/expand on what I talked about there. Basically I had the feeling that Leonardo choosing MC as a lover was more circumstantial--regarding the state of his life in the moment, regarding his general feelings about vampires and vampire society, and regarding his unresolved trauma as a young kid.

I guess my answer to that question--and forgive me if it seems like a cop out--is that it really depends, I feel? I think his attraction has a lot more to do with the kind of person somebody is, their sensibility, more than it has to do with mortal vs immortal. If it was an immortal MC that showed ridiculous fortitude and self-control, measured patience and maturity, I really don’t see him not noticing that? I think he would be wary at first (assuming it’s all a front) but with time would likely feel a great deal of love if they were interested in a life together. If they were able to see and understand what he needs and answered those needs, I guess I just really doubt his ability to say no. It’s all he’s really looking for, and the fact that he hasn’t found it after so long really speaks to his frightened evasiveness and the rare nature of that kind of unshakeable strength.

I also think a lot of his hinging away from purebloods (true immortals, in other words) is that he 100% does not want his familia having any involvement in his meaningful relationships. Which might be why he shows more acceptance towards turned vampires, or potentially different supernatural beings.

But I also don’t like giving a vague answer without some kind of explanation as to how I got, to that conclusion, so a boatload of analysis follows below the content warning.

Spoilers for Leonardo’s route and a few mentions of JPN ver content:

I think he has less of an obsession with the idea of mortality, and more like a constant association of goodness and freedom and maturity with humanity. And while it's understandable, there are signs that--when he has the proper time and space to heal--his views seem to soften from those extremes. I mean his decision to live with Comte is pretty much his first step in that direction; it was him acknowledging for the first time that vampires aren't inherently loathsome or incapable of normal living. (On a revealing note, I think it says a lot that he agrees with MC that she is living in a “wolves’ den” but also feels the need to clarify the men are basically the domesticated equivalent. They don’t pose the same threat other vampires typically do to humans because of their lifestyle and sire.) Additionally, his tsun-like behavior towards Comte also seems to solidify this concept for me: Leonardo’s trying to come to terms with something he's sworn to reject since he was young, but also can't entirely deny that Comte is as chill and mature as purebloods come lmao

[There was also an event in the JPN ver–which seems to be approaching the ENG version rapidly, though only the first part is here right now–in which Leonardo fully offers to turn her. MC is essentially on her death bed, and Leonardo doesn’t want to lose her after so little time together; it’s MC that rejects the future as a vampire out of sheer principle. Even more noteworthy is that, when a reincarnation of MC is reunited with Leonardo in modern times, he is revealed to be exceptionally shaken by that loss. There are suggestions he can’t take losing her again, which could mean succumbing to the desire to bite her.]

Two things I feel are necessary to hit home:

The first being that, at least within the storyline so far, the most mature and human-like vampires we’ve seen are Leonardo and Comte. They seek to emulate the maturity they see reflected in the human beings they’ve known all their lives. Given how vampire society and their hierarchies work, I get the feeling humans are nothing more than amusing tools to them--a way to survive and creatures to exercise control over. There’s an objectification and delusion that comes with what I’ve seen, and I think it’s important in this discussion? If the vast majority of vampires behave this way (because I’m ngl, Leonardo and Comte don’t seem very keen on remaining in touch with other vampires all that much) then it only makes sense they prefer the company of humans who can at least share this sensibility of “been there, done that--stop hurting people bc you’re bored/repressed, grow up.”

One event story where this was exceedingly evident was actually Leonardo’s proposal story. If y’all remember, an old pal/acquaintance of Leonardo’s finds out he’s gunning for a human woman and basically goes “lmao not on my watch.” His name was Adam iirc, and he felt he had every liberty to try and pressure Leonardo into turning MC. Failing that, he insisted they should break up and not be together anymore. Now, on the one hand, it’s fair to say that he was looking out for Leonardo in a way–he didn’t want him to end up miserable and alone when she was gone. But at the same time I feel that Adam’s behavior is deeply revealing of vampire society as well lmao. He doesn’t really try to understand the situation, just immediately assumes it’s the only appropriate outcome. It does insinuate a lowkey cultural disdain for humanity: they are imperfect, they do not last or cannot have real value without preservation. If Adam was really Leonardo’s friend, wouldn’t he realize that Leonardo considers vampirism nothing more than a burden that he would wish on no one, much less his future wife? Additionally, wouldn’t he also keep in mind that Leonardo considers human beings beautiful just as they are? Since he fails these basic requirements to understand Leonardo, my impression is that he is influenced by the larger vampire culture to some extent. Furthermore, it underscores just how thoroughly Leonardo has been trained to keep his cards close to his chest for fear of ridicule/violent reprisal: no vampires know his true feelings on the matter because he would be vehemently rejected outright.

[One can also offer that maybe Adam wasn’t being malicious, maybe vampires find human women they fall in love with all the time and turn them (or any other permutation of companionship that occurs), so he doesn’t understand why Leonardo wouldn’t. But even then, to try to force them to break up if she doesn’t turn? A bit overkill imo but also revealing--Leonardo’s will is being ignored for the sake of upholding a kind of ill-founded superiority complex lmao]

While Leonardo does have a somewhat overbearing need to control the pacing of his relationship and who sacrifices what, I don’t think it’s wrong to be cautious--to want to think things through. I think it’s fair to be afraid that the person you’re with can’t handle what you’ve seen/known. But that also leads me to a core issue I have with MC: she doesn’t inspire much confidence that she can handle the life he’s lived, and that’s a problem of both incapacity and incompatibility. I have to wonder how he reacts when he’s with somebody at the same maturity level, or at the very least somebody with whom he can see her strength with time. When MC’s life was dying out he was desperate enough to accept biting her because he didn’t want to lose her–human or not. It’s MC that rejects this solution, which leads me to further believe that he just doesn’t care about the divide when it comes down to it; it has more to do with his difficulty with being vulnerable and fully trusting someone to care about him. (Assuming they also have the fortitude to stay hopeful and relatively strong over the course of a very long life.)

In line with that, the second thing I think it’s important to acknowledge is how deeply hurt Leonardo is as a result of his family treating him like a fool/black sheep. He outright says and heavily insinuates that his family would write her off as worthless, that they’d never accept her--that's his first thought:

Leonardo: “My familia would call you frail. I think you’re strong and beautiful. You do more with your time than we try to do with ours.”

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MC: “And those letters were from your familia?”

Leonardo: “Yeah. I don’t talk to them or see them anymore. We don’t agree...on a lot of things.”

[Brief intermission here. But lmao. Who does that sound like? If any of you guessed Isaac, that’s exactly what I’m alluding to. Isaac says in his own route smth along the lines of “Why bother trying to get through to people when no amount of talking does any good or gets you any closer to being understood?” Which also explains the way they get along to uncanny degrees: they find comfort in making things/researching because it means being able to avoid the distress that comes with being blatantly misunderstood by others. Their pain simply comes in different dimensions; for Leo it’s about loss and hiding who he is out of fear of rejection, for Isaac it’s about betrayal and people turning on him--ultimately abandonment for both. But I digress, back to the main argument.]

Leonardo: “Once they discovered my location, they began hounding me with letters again. They don’t want me to be with just anyone...They want more purebloods. I’m no more than one half of an equation for them.”

There is a clear implication that his desire to choose somebody that truly makes him happy means jack shit to them. They keep talking over him and trying to wear him down to force him into what they want. It’s no wonder--imo--that he has such a hard time just saying what he wants in his life, to feel like he has the freedom to wish and pursue anything freely. It’s no wonder he just expects MC to spit on everything that’s important to him. It appears as though only other human beings in general and Comte have ever come close to understanding him.

At some point MC realizes that his insistence on being compagni provvisori was originally just another act of sacrifice, and that he was fine with giving up his time and a little privacy if it meant she would be safe. The thing she doesn’t seem to realize in the course of this--and he struggles to say it until later on--is that it stopped being blind generosity. He really did start to fall in love with her, and that’s the whole reason things became even more messy; because he didn’t anticipate not being able to let go on top of the vulnerability. And it’s a big part of why he’s hesitating to speak. He feels he has no right to those feelings, and that he’s imposing on her--not that he’ll be welcome.

And when she did finally admit those feelings were welcome, it was compounded by the parroted views of his family and larger vampire society as a whole. Saying that she herself wasn’t enough, that she had to become a vampire to make him happy. Imo that sounds very potentially retraumatizing given his experiences (people trying to force him into marriages with other vampires who didn’t remotely understand or care about him because it was “the right way of things”). It’s no wonder he freaks out and does something incredibly stupid and insensitive–which is pretty insanely ooc for him.

Leonardo: “...It shocked them. Quieted them down a bit. Hard to get peace when your familia is immortal. Grazie, cara mia.”

Leonardo: “You’re strong, and you’re kind. So probably you won’t cry while I’m here to see it. But when I’m not looking, you’ll cry. If I had done that to you (bitten her, in other words), you’d still be crying when I wasn’t watching... Maybe it’s selfish of me, after what I did, but I just wanted to make you happy. You always look pretty, cara mia, but your smile takes my breath away...It’s not your destiny to love someone who will only make you cry.”

This man literally cannot handle anyone deeply sad or in despair. He’s always going to try to cheer people up and care about them, but general tragedy/emotional discord affects him very powerfully--and it’s likely a reflection of what I’ve mentioned before. He can’t bear to see people feeling helpless or miserable because he’s just been there too many times to be able to cope. He wants to help and heal (even if he’s suffering from prolonged compassion fatigue), but he knows that his powers are limited--even if he is a pureblood.

And the thing is? While it’s misguided to believe she would cry alone when it comes to the context of healthy romantic love (bc the idea would be that you lean on each other when something upsetting happens) he has zero reference point. He was not born as a result of authentic love (his parents never married, he was the result of a procreative arrangement), his family talks over every wish and belief he has and they still claim it’s done out of love/honest concern for him. One can only imagine the serpentine and obnoxious lengths to which his family has deceived or tried to force him into reconnecting with them. Every person that ever did know him/care about him in a real way is gone. Love, for him, has only been a series of losses that left his heart hollowed out; I don’t really blame him for expecting further disappointment and isolation and exhaustion.

He’s also not wrong in the sense that he partially saw MC do what he outlined, and it’s a big part about what he loves about her. When she was feeling alone and lost–powerless–all she did was shrug and move forward. That doesn’t make it hurt any less, but focusing on what you can do instead of what you can’t do is healthier. And they both have the tendency to hide when they’re in pain or feeling lost, all because they don’t want to trouble anyone. Remember that when he says this, it’s a reflection of himself too: because even if he was heartbroken beyond measure, all he would do is hide it every second; he would never expect anyone to see right through him or care.

I mean I tend think of that one post I saw that talked about how people often see themselves as a social burden when most of their life has just been a series of neglect and loss. They don’t really have a concept of “you’re not heavy because I want to stay with you. It’s my choice to care about you.” How do you feel worthwhile an existence when four hundred years later your family still won’t treat you with basic dignity. The men in the mansion also all look to him for guidance and soothing because of the kind of person he is–he’s either silent in the periphery or helping. He never betrays so much as an inkling of insecurity or distress.

I mean the whole reason Leonardo comes to the mansion is because he has absolutely no issue helping Comte in a pivotal time of need without seeking much of anything in return. Remember that Comte explains how Leonardo came to the mansion in response to Comte’s distress about the future. This makes sense considering Comte was rapidly trying to stop Vlad by beating him to the punch, and had only enough time to plan the basics. He had no certainty things would work out, much less that his boys would thrive. But Comte, unlike the boys, has become acutely aware of how much Leonardo is hiding his fatigue and despair in the course of being helped. As such, he wants to return the favor--and tries to be a good friend to him as much as he can (handles his insane familia, keeps things light and silly time between them, takes him seriously as a person, doesn’t pry beyond what’s fair.)

[I also think of that psychology concept of “the good enough mother.” It’s not always about being perfect every second of your life. It’s about paying attention and acting where it really counts. I feel like people who grow up under an enormous burden of neglect or parental/mentor abuse have a hard time coming to terms with the idea. This notion that just trying is enough for a lot of people, that showing them they’re not alone is enough to make difficult memories bearable. Because it’s the oppressive silence and apathy that tends to kills people, imo--not people who mean well. But Leonardo doesn’t really understand any kind of reciprocal or non-self-emptying model because the concept is beyond him. He has no experience with it beyond Comte and a select few humans he’s befriended.]

Let’s continue on this point of MC crying where he can’t see her, shall we? The reason this scares him so much is not because he doesn’t care, or doesn’t want to make the effort. It’s precisely that he cares to the point of madness. It’s that he is legitimately convinced nothing he has to say, nothing that he can do, no part of him is enough to ease what she will have to trade away to stay with him. The core issue is not one of disregard or objectification, I find it to be more about his belief that he just isn’t enough. He doesn’t trust that anyone can love him to the point where just the sight of him or time with him can heal. And while there is a foolishness to this belief, it’s understandable when you consider where he’s coming from. You can call it selfishness, but it just feels involuntary--he has a lot of fear when it comes to love.

I mean Comte even says it himself? His words here always strike me: “I want you to understand, it’s because he cherishes you just as you are--more than he cares about his future or his well-being.”

Comte is openly identifying the way that Leonardo has a tendency to give more than is healthy. That Leonardo isn’t hesitating because his feelings are lacking, he’s doing it because he knows it’s going to hurt like a bitch trying to love her and never ask beyond what feels reasonable. (Spoilers: no request is reasonable. That’s the problem here. He’s convinced he deserves nothing.) Therefore turning her into a vampire to stay with him is--consequently, to Leonardo--out of the question. This is the literal hingepoint at which Comte and Leonardo divide; Comte simply tells MC he’ll take full responsibility for asking so much of her. He intends to make her happy with every single resource and skill he has at his disposal. Even if he doubts his ability or fears losing her to vampire rhetoric madness, he’d rather try than live with the regret and immediate loss. Leonardo is more resistant because of his dour outlook, that her fear of immortality is never going to be something that either of them can overcome. And/or he’s likely afraid she’s only going to regret being together after so long, and might succumb to the ridiculous sort of power/greed complexes vampires seem so attracted to by nature.

I think Leonardo is still coming to terms with the idea that he isn't alone in the world in a lot of ways, and I think he's also coming to terms with the idea that immortality does not equate to evil. Sure, human beings on average are probably more open to flexible modes of thinking and living compared to vampires--their maturity is in some ways guaranteed due to the instances they're forced to adapt to survive. However, just one look at the ruling class and oligarchies of all kinds (even just stubborn human beings) reveals how they are not immune to the same sort of megalomania, arrogance, and thoughtless violence purebloods/vampires are capable of.

So I guess I hesitate when it comes to the thought that he only loves her because she's human. If anything, I think he loves her for the fact that she's very rooted in reality--not quite so bound by the extremes that trouble him. It's one of the many reasons I believe Leonardo needs a lot of maturity and patience; the ability to differentiate between his panicked/overwhelmed/hurt reactions versus his calm is a skill in and of itself considering his capacity for concealment. To say nothing of getting him to slow down when this happens, too.

I suppose I think about it in a way that’s similar to how Napoleon’s main story narrative is framed. While Leonardo’s route doesn’t focus on the grandeur of being a former emperor, there is a clear insinuation here that he also craves normalcy? Just a little life, with a person he loves dearly, where he can rest and be himself for once. I think because he gives off such an appearance of steadiness, people fail to see that he is barely holding on--not to mention the kind of experiences he’s been deprived of (the exact security and understanding he so expertly emulates).

Closer to your question, it’s worth mentioning that Leonardo’s life goal for a while was the creation of an immortal human being--in that he fully recognized human beings could not offer what he needed as they were.

He loves humans because of their adaptability, their frequent desire to keep seeking out hope and making the best of the broken pieces they have. But then again, it has more to do with the nature of how frequently that sensibility occurs in humans vs vampires (and immortality in general): mortality does demand some level of necessity to change and grow. Which is one of the largest trauma points for him; the vampires around him just refused to grow up, always demanding at him like children and obsessed with their power complexes.

Thing is I also don't know enough about vampire society to know how correct this perceived ratio is. However, given Comte's similar avoidance of other vampires and general inability to live with them (he and Vlad were literal childhood best friends and Comte can't stand him anymore lmao) I think Leonardo may have more validity here than people give him credit for. Which begs the question--why did he quit trying to make a human immortal? What was it that stopped him? Was it the horror of what needed to be done to achieve it? Or would a potential companion start to fall more in love with the idea of immortality than they do with life itself/him? I think it’s a worthwhile question to ask, given the disdain he seems to aim at Shakespeare in particular--once human, but now emulates all of the violence and insatiability marked by vampirism.

This is where the transition from human to vampire/immortal contains another hingepoint: is Leonardo so incapable of finding a middle ground because he feels like any choice he makes will be a wrong one? Marry a human, deprive them of a normal love where they can grow old together. Marry a human and turn them, what if they are reborn with immortal wounds/psychological harm? What if time proves they get bored of him or hateful, what if they begin to act like the predatory purebloods he hates so much? Marry a pureblood/immortal, and be hounded by his family for heirs--risk being with somebody who will never love him or their children, and only inspire more misery in the world.

Does it make sense how this can really start to become an anxious downspiral for someone like him? How the personal insecurity and life history comes together to just compound stress endlessly?

That's the thing that's important here, I think. Leonardo just needs somebody who is open-minded, firm, and not easily deceived. If one takes a look at Leonardo's main story route, the whole reason everything goes to shit so disastrously is because MC stops listening at a critical point. Granted Leonardo could have been more forthcoming for sure, but when she started assuming Shakespeare was right instead of seeing how Leonardo was feeling/reacting, she responded in ways Leonardo wasn't prepared for. He never wanted to shake her faith or insinuate whatever she is is not good enough for him, and tbh I think Leonardo downspiraled because it was just the same thing all over again. What he is--a vampire and immortal--keeps ruining everything he wants with his life.

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp meta #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp leo #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp comte #can you tell i think too hard about these things kjhdglshf #sorry this reply took me a little longer than i meant to--but i really did want to do the topic proper justice!!#leonardo is such a dear person to me and I can't help but sympathize #people are free to disagree with this but it's just how i feel about the topic #the more i see about him in event stories--the sense this his trembling heart is slowly easing--the less i can believe such things matter #to him all that much tbh #i also think the event where he loses her is just all the more telling too?#i feel like if it really was a matter of principle and not love he would have just accepted it #humans have a v short lifespan--what can be done #sort of reaction #but that's not how he reacted at all: he was a man beside himself with dread and sadness #and even when he meets her reincarnation he can't help but want to be with her again #iirc he starts shaking at the slightest mention of when she died--and shows a lot less ability to resist the urge to turn her #so anywho brief summation is that i think this is more about so many sad boy hours and fear of widespread immortal megalomania #than it is abt hatred for immortality #he has no confidence good things can last without being warped--and that's the key issue here #'nothing gold can stay'#long post #rambles #not incorrect quotes #if you manage to read this without falling asleep i applaud you ajkhldghkfjsdg #thanks for the ask tho--i love any excuse to yell abt leo <333

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adifferenttime · 3 years

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Andrew Ryan vs. Robert House

On almost every House post I make, someone in the notes will reliably reference Andrew Ryan. I totally get it - they look similar, they're based on the same guy, the parallels are so clear that the NV dev team added an achievement for killing House with a golf club - but I think these commonalities tend to engulf both characters, blotting out some of their more interesting ideological/personal differences. It's useful to examine them in relation to one another, but part of that is figuring out what distinguishes them, which is just what I’ve attempted to do.

It's difficult for me to talk about Randian objectivism because I don't think it's sound enough to address on its own terms, but considering this is the philosophy Andrew Ryan has adopted, I kind of have to. What I’d identify as the core premise of Randian ethics is this: altruism is a moral wrong. Some Randians have argued that isn't really what they believe - that the real point is anything resembling altruism is self-interest in disguise - but they're departing from the beliefs of their icon when they make those claims. Per Rand:

The irreducible primary of altruism, the basic absolute is self-sacrifice – which means self-immolation, self-abnegation, self-denial, self-destruction – which means the self as a standard of evil, the selfless as a standard of the good.

The way Rand defines altruism is by linking it to self-sacrifice, which she uses to differentiate it from kindness or benevolence. Aiding others at no cost to yourself is benevolent, but not altruistic, and therefore not evil. Sacrificing your happiness to help another human being is, from Rand's perspective, evil, as is any philosophy that prioritizes the other at the cost of the self. This whole idea has been broadly rejected by most scholars on account of it being really fucking stupid. What justifies the leap from "man is naturally selfish" to "selfishness is good"? If selfishness is moral, wouldn't the most moral behavior be to exploit others through whatever means necessary, favoring force over the market? Rand defines happiness as "using your mind’s fullest power," achievable only when you "do not consider the pleasure of others as the goal," but why is this the only definition? What if your only options are self-sacrificial in nature? How do you weigh them if neither sacrifice is linked to values, individual achievement, or "your mind's fullest power" at all? Rand didn't care because she was too busy trying to ethically justify cheating on her man with her best friend's husband, but nonetheless, this is the philosophy Andrew Ryan’s adopted. He claims that "Altruism is the root of all Wickedness," in what's almost a direct quote from Rand herself.

To that end, Ryan builds a system that doesn’t just accept selfishness but actively incentivizes it. Every other principle he expresses is subservient to the ideas that selfishness rules man, and that for Ryan to act on his own selfish impulses is the highest good in the world. His lesser political principles (individual liberties, negative rights, the creation of a stateless society) don’t matter to him as much as the central precept from which they stem: that selfishness is his moral imperative.

What is the greatest lie every created? What is the most vicious obscenity ever perpetrated on mankind? Slavery? The Holocaust? Dictatorship? No. It's the tool with which all that wickedness is built: altruism.

It doesn't come as a particular surprise to me when he starts imprisoning dissidents or executing rivals or banning theft (standard practice in most societies, but not what an egoist would pursue; if you can get away with taking it, you deserve to have it, or so the thinking goes). I’ve seen him described as a hypocrite, but I don’t think that’s necessarily true considering everything he does is in line with his opposition to altruism. He'll adhere to his other principles only if they don’t sabotage his pursuit of personal power. This is evident in the fact that he only adopts a negative perception of Fontaine when his own interests are threatened, but doesn’t give two shits what Fontaine might be doing to sow conflict and harm people before that point. A guy named Gregory asks Ryan to step in against Fontaine early on before Fontaine's fully established himself as a threat to Ryan's power, and Ryan's extremely blase about it.

Don't expect me to punish citizens for showing a little initiative. If you don't like what Fontaine is doing, well, I suggest you find a way to offer a better product.

Contrast this with how he reacts when Fontaine has risen as a genuine business rival. This is from the log titled "Fontaine Must Go."

Something must be done about Fontaine. While I was buying buildings and fish futures, he was cornering the market on genotypes and nucleotide sequences. Rapture is transforming before my eyes. The Great Chain is pulling away from me.

This double standard is the natural outgrowth of his prioritization of self-interest. If your most deeply-held belief is that you should never give up your interests for others, ancillary rules become flexible in times of personal crisis, and Bioshock makes the case that putting someone like that in charge of a city will leave you with a crumbling, monstrous ruin.

Superficially, House has some similarities. Ryan executes political rivals; House has you blow up a bunker of his ideological opponents. Ryan is the highest authority in Rapture; House is the absolute monarch of Vegas. Their goals and moral codes, though, are almost diametrically opposed. When you ask House why you’re expected to trust him when he’s openly admitting to installing himself as the despot of the New Vegas Strip, he says this:

I have no interest in abusing others... Nor have I any interest in being worshipped as some kind of machine-god messiah. I am impervious to such corrupting ambitions.

Most of his resources are devoted to large-scale, impersonal projects, aimed either at building the power of Vegas or securing his long term goal of “progress” as he sees it. He’s rejected selfishness as a moral good because House is very far from Randian objectivism. He's a Hobbesian monarch.

In that respect, he shares an outlook on human nature with Ryan that I deeply disagree with (that human beings are essentially selfish), but in terms of what that means for the structure of a utopian society, House takes a very different position. From his perspective, human nature breeds suffering, not industriousness, and the only way to stamp out conflict - and, in a post-nuclear age, ensure the continued survival of the human race - is through a strong sovereign. The purpose of a state as laid out in Leviathan aligns very, very closely with the one House expresses.

...the foresight of their own preservation, and of a more contented life thereby; that is to say, of getting themselves out from that miserable condition of war which is necessarily consequent, as hath been shown, to the natural passions of men...

The monarch's successes are reflected in his society and the well-being of humanity as a whole. To subvert his goals is to subvert society's goals, and to doom humanity to the war, death, and suffering that exist in a state of nature. When you destroy his Securitrons/kill him, he doesn't plead for himself or get offended on his own behalf. He accuses you of betraying not him, but mankind.

Single-handedly, you've brought mankind's best hopes of forward progress crashing down. No punishment would be too severe. Fool... to let... personalities... derail future... of mankind? ...Stupid! Slavery... the future of... mankind? What... have you... done?

An important corollary of this idea which again distinguishes House from Ryan appears in Leviathan’s description of the political/moral responsibility of a monarch to his subjects:

...that great Leviathan, or rather, to speak more reverently, of that mortal god to which we owe, under the immortal God, our peace and defence. For by this authority... he hath the use of so much power that, by terror thereof, he is enabled to form the wills of them all, to peace at home, and mutual aid against their enemies abroad.

Hobbes and House give the monarch virtually unlimited power but match it to the monarch's duty, which he lives to fulfill. His obligation is to speak for the people, act for them, and protect them from all threats, internal and external. House generally abides by this, orienting his decisions around his goals for society irrespective of the personal cost (the negative consequences of his actions are a product of his fucked evaluations of what’s best for society, not personal greed). It’s not just a departure from Ryan’s philosophy but a complete refutation of it. He's almost died for what he's misidentified as the greatest good.

Given that I had to make do with buggy software, the outcome could have been worse. I nearly died as it was…. I spent the next few decades in a veritable coma.

This is not the behavior of an egoist. This is the behavior of an extremely arrogant but marginally altruistic (from a Randian perspective lmao) guy. This is some distorted “from each according to his ability” shit if you’ve managed to convince yourself your abilities exceed those of everyone else who has ever lived and that you can get the Mandate of Heaven by being really good at statistics.

The reason these guys develop such similar structures and hierarchies despite the ideological gulfs between them is because both of them are elitists who’ve experienced a massive failure of self-consciousness. They’re unable to conceive of other people as being fundamentally like them. Ryan separates people into the clearly-delineated classes of “producer” and “parasite,” ignoring the fact that everything he’s ever “produced” was reliant on a huge, coordinated effort between workers, architects, accountants, middlemen, and others, all of whom, in conjunction, contributed more to the realization of his dreams that he ever could have alone. Rather than realizing his own position is more parasitic and reliant on other people’s labor than that of anyone else in Rapture, he adheres to his doctrine of selfishness even when it’s not reflective of reality and is ruining the the lives of an entire city of people. He deludes himself into believing he’s a superman among ants instead of one flawed man who is reliant on the goodwill of others to help him survive, as are we all.

House, too, thinks he’s exceptional. Unlike Ryan, he acknowledges the necessity of the worker to a functioning society, but while he’ll accept his reliance on that labor, he doesn’t trust the laborer enough to share political power. House knows he’s invested in humanity’s survival and the creation of a better world, but he refuses to consider that he might not be alone in this goal. He chalks up the existence of the Legion to fanaticism/the ambitions of a sultanistic dictator and attributes everything the NCR has done to greed, without it ever occurring to him that the massive harm these nations have done was partially motivated by the same goals he’s devoted himself to - and that the atrocities he’s committed since his rise to power are, in some respects, very similar. House knows himself to be invested in the well-being of humanity, but he’s too arrogant to ask himself if his methods are wrong or trust other people to build a new path, one that doesn’t necessitate his complete control over the land and people of the Mojave. Ryan and House’s worldviews are distinct, and their flaws, as highlighted by their respective narratives, say some interesting things about how each set of devs view power and the pitfalls of elitism.

Anyway. If you put these two men in a room, they would probably try to murder each other, and I think that’s great.

#Robert House #Andrew Ryan #fallout meta #bioshock meta #fnv #bioshock #fallout new vegas

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noobsomeexagerjunk · 3 years

Text

Friends in Low Places: A Dream SMP Theory

(I really should have posted this sooner but hhh even writing essays can get tiring lmao)

The coveted revival book, the book of dark secrets, the most powerful thing a person could possess—how did Schlatt acquire it in the first place?

It's a question first mentioned since Season 1, made more significant in Season 2, and now a narrative tool in Season 3. Below are semi-organized thoughts and rambles on its origins, some derived from headcanons and other reasonable conclusions that attempt to answer the question above.

Something of particular note concerning Schlatt are the bits and pieces known about his backstory and life before joining the server. What is known is that his business endeavors in SMPLive and his friendship with ConnorEatsPants (and debatably, Slimecicle and Michael McChill) in SMPLive are truths he carries with him in the Dream SMP.

Of his pre-Dream SMP friendships, his relationship with Connor is the most narratively significant, bringing humanity to his person and motivation to Connor. Given how close they are with each other in canon, it can be said that they know each other (and their secrets) better than anyone (besides possibly Quackity, given his relationship with Schlatt).

What we know about Connor and Schlatt, as far as my deduction is concerned, weirdly gives us an explanation to Schlatt's intial access to the book in the first place!

Let's look at Connor. He is marked by these identities of note: businessman, necromancer, time traveler, immortal.

We know he's a businessman because of his involvement with Schlatt & Co., being the "co." in the name. He's also showed having interests in economy and politics, interests that while willingly not acted upon, seem more benevolent (at least, by the framing of the greater narrative) in inclination. He expressed desires to make his own money, despised L'Manburg for its manner of government, and more or less appears reasonable in similar matters compared to most people on the server. When he came to Las Nevadas, he knew when to stop gambling! He just got threatened into gambling himself into a loan by Quackity and an armed Slimecicle.

The next big thing, and the most relevant to the theory is Connor's identity as an necromancer—one of the few things he arguably canonized (along with the immortal and time travel hcs) in his "Killing Someone in the Dream SMP" stream/"Big Lore on Dream SMP" video. For as early as his arrival on the SMP, Connor has expressed several times his desires to revive Schlatt, revival specifically being one of his major character goals as seen in his diary. Given this implied repeated attempts (and that one joking revival attempt during the party stream) one can say that Connor has some knowledge concerning revival, but clearly not enough to conduct revival successfully. He could be close to figuring that out though, given the revival book.

The other two things about Connor is his time traveling and immortality. These were more headcanon than the necromancy one, but because of the supposed affirmation by the CC himself, I'm treating this as canon. I mean, it's supported by Tales and Connor's presence there. (Which to be fair, prompted the said headcanons in the first place.) These identities give explanation to his nonchalance and apathy in behavior, as well as his rather astute insight, as seen when he found Tommy at The Bench directly after the Community House confrontation. These also support some of Connor's random offhand statements, like learning things from centuries ago or hoping to not cause a paradox. Another note to be made is that these identities clearly influence Connor's worldview as an individual, expressing desires to specifically "end mortality" and knowing very well that in light of Karl's secret (that he perhaps shares to some degree?) that the swirly colorful man ought to "see a doctor."

Now that we have this down, we have to remember again Schlatt and Connor's closeness—it is very likely that Schlatt knows all these things about Connor in the first place.

One can deduce then that Schlatt could have been motivated to have a revival book because of Connor.

Bear in mind that Connor canonically doesn't know about the book's existence; when asked about it by a dono during one of Connor's Dream SMP streams around January-February 2021, he stated having no idea about what the dono had been talking about.

So can the book still be for Connor? Yes! Given some unspoken and mostly assumed details about Schlatt and Connor's relationship in between SMPLive and Dream SMP, the possibility is very high, that Schlatt may have independently sought a revival book as a gift for his immortal, time traveling business partner with desires to master necromancy.

We have no concrete way of knowing the Book's source, but we know that Schlatt's a crafty, con-man of a businessman, and one that's smart enough to attain legitimate magical items. Proof is the magical rod he used in Tales from the SMP: The Haunted Mansion.

Some additional thoughts on this matter I want to talk about here is Schlatt's actions with the book.

Based on Dream's word, Las Nevadas Chapter 1, and the canonical resurrections performed by Dream, everyone knows the revival book works.

And that is interesting, as he communicated to Quackity that he believed the revival book was fake, particularly because of it being written in "moon runes", and just bluntly claiming that he had no means of proving the book's legitimacy. Why did he give it to Dream given this knowledge?

Well, when remembering how Dream valued the book to the point of hiding its source of value for all of Season 2, it's very likely Schlatt might have tried to con Dream. We know this backfired because, well, in buying into the con, Dream manage to somehow prove the book's legitimacy. (I see why people call the CC a tryhard—the behavior literally bleeds into the character.)

How did he do it? That's a question hopefully answered soon. Tommy being revived may have been what pushed Schlatt to make the bet with Quackity in the first place. As we know, the winner of the bet is still in the air.

Basically Schlatt may have gotten the revival book initially for Connor's use but ended up losing it to Dream anyway

#dream smp #dream smp theory #jschlatt #connoreatspants #dreamwastaken #karl jacobs #quackity #tales from the smp #las nevadas #long post

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

Note

HI, IT'S ME! YOUR LOCAL CHAOTIC WEIRDO!!!!! I'M BACK AGAIN LIKE I AM TWICE EVERY WEEK

IT'S MY BOY DAVID THIS TIME! WHY AM I SO HYPER! MAYBE BECAUSE THEY KISSED! AND I HAD TO SUPPRESS MY SCREAMS BCAUSE IM IN CLASS AND THE REST OF MY FAMILY IS OUTSIDE MY DOOR (NOT LITERALLY OFC)

OK OK OK OK OK OK

MAX AND DAVID ARE AT THE LONDON INSTITUTE YESYESYESYES

He rather liked that part in a story – when the hero fell, and everything seemed bleak. It always meant that hope was just around the corner. Because darkness never lasted. It was always followed by light. There was nothing more beautiful than that kind of sunrise.

THIS

I literally live my life by this analogy

AHHH DAVID IS ON HIS TRAVEL YEAR AND MAX IS WITH HIM

SCREAM

well i can't scream because my mom is sitting right there and I have class in 4 minutes so imma smile really wide

“Are you planning to read the entire library during your travel year?” Max chuckled.

“Of course not,” David replied. “I will need longer than a year to accomplish that goal.”

Me.

Wait

does max not being able to make portals have something to do with his lineage?

demon parent

ok so my programming class started 2 minutes early but screw programming I'm gonna be studying minds not this shit

ok that's a very bad attitude for someone who needs good grades in this year

Max was always hungry.

this is so me

KIT

THEY MENTIONED TY

also if David doesn't become an institute head in the future THEN WHAT'S THE POINT

“Where is the kitchen?” Max interrupted.

max is such a mood

He had told Max that he had centuries to perfect his magic, that there was no need to rush it. Max had given him a noncommittal nod and nothing more.

HE'S GONNA MAKE THE BEST PORTALS YOU'LL SEE

“I won’t tell the Consul,” Kit winked.

At the mention of the Consul, David straightened up. He had been trying to get into Alec Lightwood’s good graces for years now. He didn’t think sharing a room with his son would do him any favors.

DAVID UDUCDFUHKDUHVUHSDH

PLEASE IF WE DON'T GET A CUTE ALEC AND DAVID SCENE SOON

KIT CALLED TESSA MOM

oh my god

Word was that Mr. Herondale had gone back to his obsession with brewing tea.

JACE

I have so many emotions right now but all I'm gonna say is that I'm so so proud of Rafael

“Do you not want to sleep with me?” Max asked.

UH-

WELL-

DAVID STOP THINKING ABOUT THE FUTURE AND ALL THE SHIT

STOP IT

OH MY GOD THE ONE BED TROPE

MAX IS IN HIS ARMS I'M ABOUT TO-

takes a deep breath don't scream. everyone outside this door thinks you're taking programming class

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY

AWW JULIAN PAINTED PORTRAITS FOR THE INSTITUTE

The one of Will Herondale and Tessa Gray – A love that had transcended reality and lasted a lifetime.

The one of James Herondale and Cordelia Carstairs – A love that had started with a lie and then blossomed into nothing but happiness and devotion.

The one of Lucie Herondale and Jesse Blackthorn – A love that had been so powerful that it rewrote the past.

The one of Jace Herondale and Clary Fairchild – A love that had walked through hell and shaken up the heavens.

And then there the final one. The one of Kit Herondale and Tiberius Blackthorn – A love that had survived distance and darkness and doom.

This omg...

He wanted a love story. The kind he read in the books. The kind he saw in these portraits.

But he wasn’t a Herondale. He wasn’t sure if he was destined for that kind of love.

HEY

DON'T THINK LIKE THAT

The first part though

same

He might have been a little too excited. It was biologically impossible to control yourself when you find a stranger reading your favorite book in the whole world.

SO TRUE

“I see you already made a new friend,” Max said.

He sounded a little…odd. As if he was not pleased that David had made a new friend.

honey...

take a guess

can I jump in and bash their heads together?

“You are thinking of conjuring chocolate syrup, aren’t you?” David chuckled.

“How do you always know what’s on my mind?” Max chuckled back.

Because I know you, David wanted to say. I just wish I knew what’s in your heart too.

OH MY GOD I CANT WITH THIS

“You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup!” Max was yelling, standing on the chair.

They residents laughed harder, and David shook his head fondly. He hoped one day Max would pursue a career in theatre. He was a born showman.

can I have chocolate syrup?

also, the way David is just so fond of him like DYUSDGYJCDYUJM

“By the angel, do you have to be a drama queen about everything?” the boy next to them muttered – not so quietly.

David blinked. That was uncalled for.

But Max being Max was completely unfazed. “Of course I do. My Bapa would be personally offended otherwise.”

exactly you rude little shit

Max often pretended like people’s words didn’t hurt him - just as he pretend that fire doesn’t burn or wounds don’t bleed.

wow ok stop calling me out

Is max jealous??????

is he??????

how are people so good at languages like damn

“Oh my god,” Max groaned. “Is he already telling people to check on me?”

LMAO

using mundane medicine...

that's risky

but it's also something that WILL help

can't warlocks tamper with the blood samples?

A part of him wondered if that’s why he had agreed to send Max away to London – at least for a week. Because sometimes you didn’t want other people to see you were hurting.

alec I really goddamn hope you're dealing with this well

some of whom had even decided to die than get help from a warlock.

alright then gets my knives but you chose this :D

Nobody brought a book down for breakfast if they didn't like to read.

yes but sometimes also to seem busy so people won't bother you or you won't look alone.

“I know,” the boy said as he walked past them to the gate. “I sat on the stairs and thought about life for a few good minutes.”

his family is the one who took over David's previous institute (i can't spell that. marse- marselli- wat??) methinks.

The gang always visited whenever all of them were in the city together. They would have so much fun! Of course, the 'fun' mostly entailed Rafael stopping Georgia from drinking random potions she found in the stalls, Selena stopping Lexi from opening a psychic booth to help people talk to Raziel and of course David stopping Max from running to the gambling booths.

LMAO, I CANT WITH THIS-

Rafe: I am anxiety.

me at any given moment

EW TESTICLES HE'S EATING THOSE-

ok maybe I'm the only person who's really picky when it comes to food and doesn't eat the majority of things

“Anything on Magnus Bane?” Max asked.

“No,” the woman snapped and shoved some of the letters into a bag and hide it under the table. “Leave Magnus Bane alone!”

“Appreciate your loyalty,” Max winked at her and started examining a diary.

I like her.

"Everyone should be participating in this" -my programming teacher

me, an intellectual: participating in what?? goes to the class web THE FUCK IS THAT

“Something for the shadowhunter?” the woman smiled. “Perhaps an unpublished snippet from the Beautiful Cordelia?”

“Do you have any love letters?” David asked.

“Hmmm,” the woman went through the pages. “I do have a correspondence between an Iblis demon and Christopher Lightwood? Would you be interested in that?”

if u don't mind I would love to see both of those-

you know I just remembered I have a computer assignment I need to submit by the end of this week fml

“Never fall in love with an immortal,” she giggled again. “We don’t like staying in one place.”

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

MAX WHERE ARE YOU

why are we using x and 3 in programming class what the heck is going on

“I’m not just some warlock,” Max said, his voice low. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.”

GIVE HIM THAT NECKLACE BACK

we usually have programming once a week on our physical school days and those are fun because my and my friend are continuously passing notes and talking to each other through writing

The scene where Max fought off all the evil people who tried to steal his valuable belonging. He would fight without breaking a sweat and throw magic fireballs at everyone and then get his necklace back. And then he would kiss David in front of everyone and it would somehow rain all of a sudden.

But life wasn’t a movie or a book. Life was just life.

life's boring

fuck life

I just heard a student ask "why are we not taking out the values of b and c" BESTIE I THOUGHT WE WERE DOING PROGRAMMING AND NOT ALGEBRA?????

“I know there wasn’t anyone to protect you before,” Magnus Bane had said. “But we are here now. We will protect you. This will protect you.”

He hadn’t wanted it back then. He didn't even want it even now.

He didn’t want something to protect him. Most importantly, he didn’t want to cover his scar. He didn’t want to hide it. He wasn’t ashamed of it. It wasn’t a mark of a victim. It was the mark of a survivor.

So, David had smiled and given the bracelet back.

“I never wanted to be protected,” David had replied. “I only ever wanted to be loved.”

The warlock had smiled at that and given David a hug. It had felt different than other hugs he had experienced since he had come to New York.

It wasn’t just the magic. Magnus Bane carried so much love inside himself you could literally feel it through him.

I'm gonna cry during my programming class (where we're doing variables apparently all of a sudden??)

this is so beautiful

“I wasn’t talking about Bapa,” Max said now. “I was talking about the other one.”

David chuckled at that. “Oh, yeah. He is definitely going to kill you.”

what flowers would you like at your funeral?

so Jackson has family troubles

I've definitely got that

yeah I know what it's like to be jealous of someone else's perfect family

JACKSON WTF

Is he trying to ruin max's relationship with his family???

oh hell no

JACKSON THE AUDACITY

“One stolen necklace, One broken nose and One bruised cheek,” he said. “And you’ve been in London for less than a day.”

kit seriously? but is he wrong though?

“This is what I get for falling for a Lightwood-Bane,” David sighed and walked through the portal.

WELL AT LEAST HE'S SELF AWARE

Jackson...

in some ways, I can empathize with him. my younger self anyway. but Jackson this is not how you do things

There was a moment of silence and then Magnus Bane giggled.

“I do love it when the quiet ones go feral,” the warlock grinned.

MAGNUS

NOT.THE.TIME

(me too)

“David!” Mr Herondale gasped. “Is your hand okay?”

yup that's Jace y'all

David hated violence. He hated fighting – which he was often not allowed to say out loud considering he was a shadowhunter.

But it was the truth. He hated hurting people – or even things. It made him feel sick.

“It’s alright, Chouchou,” Mr Herondale ran a hand through David’s hair. “Next time, just-”

“Use my words?” David asked.

“Just don’t get caught,” the man winked.

and that is why I would never want to be a shadowhunter.

I know saying that doesn't do anything but when I first read tsc I wanted to be a shadowhunter really badly and damn that was some time ago but now...violence of any kind is my biggest trigger idek why. and I hate that so much because what kind of a person gets triggered by loud voices and fighting EVEN ON SCREEN??? I usually just push myself to watch stuff because it's dumb. I refuse to see trigger warnings before reading a book or watching a show because damn it, I should be able to stand those things I'm, not a child. and it may be doing me more harm than good but I shouldn't feel like this in the first place

okay...that was long

ANYWAY

“David, I appreciate you standing up for Max,” the Consul said. “But next time, please try not to punch anyone in the face.”

“Yes, sir,” David nodded. “Because it’s wrong.”

“Because it means more paperwork for me,” the Consul groaned and then straightened up. “But yes. Absolutely. Very wrong. No punching people!”

LMAO ALEC

Jackson...

I was wrong then

He was grinning. Magnus Bane must have raised hell in the shadow market.

that must have been fun

Max was doing that thing where he was not trying to pout but he was mostly definitely pouting. It made David want to kiss him. But then the Consul spoke, and David reminded himself he didn’t want to be the third person to get punched in the face this evening.

well-

“I understand that Jackson has been through a lot. But that’s not an excuse for him to hurt those around him. I learned that lesson the hard way. So, you shouldn’t excuse his behaviour.”

someone's trauma and pain is never an excuse to hurt others

but that doesn't mean we should invalidate their trauma either

“You can stay back and try to help him. I won’t stop you,” the man got up now. “But if he tries to hurt you-”

“You will unleash hell?” David chuckled.

“Worse,” the other man grinned. “I will unleash Lexi.”

that is much much worse

Books brought him comfort in so many ways. Just holding one in his hands automatically made him feel better.

oh my god

he gets it

I always have a book with me when I'm out even if I'm not gonna get the time to read it because just the weight and comfort of it in my hands or in my backpack brings me so much comfort and helps with my social anxiety so much

no one understands when I try to tell them that

you get it...

someone gets it finally

AYYY IRENE

“David, it’s very sweet that you want to protect Jackson,” Kit pointed out. “But literally no one is buying that. Not even Irene.”

The lynx purred on his lap as if she agreed with Kit.

“I could break into a liquor cabinet,” David said a little indignantly.

David is the nicest you can get

David wouldn’t. Apparently, everyone already seemed to know that - even the lynx he had met five minutes ago.

we are solving something in class and it's really quiet because we're all doing our work (I'm reading the fic so-) and this one person had their mic open and they kept on whispering their steps and it was so weird I cant-

BUT YES DAVID IS A CINNAMON ROLL. EVEN THE LYNX KNOWS

“We were talking about shitty fathers,” Jackson pointed out. “You’re welcome to stay.”

“I’m gonna need something stronger than red wine for this conversation,” Kit chuckled.

I remember that bitch

David used to do it when he was a child. He used to pretend his life was a story. He used to pretend everything that happened to him was happening to some other boy – a boy who wasn’t real. A boy who lived inside a book. Because it hurt a little less when you pretend like it wasn’t happening to you.

But the pain was still very real.

OK YOU CAN STOP CALLING ME OUT NOW

“I fucking hate ogres,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Was your father an ogre too?” Jackson asked.

“He was more like a harpy,” Kit snorted. “He was always flying and fleeing. I didn’t know how deep his talons were in my head until it was too late.”

you really like traumatizing all your characters, don't you?

I really fucking hope the ogre got what he deserved

and if the angel is dead then fuck everyone

“I mean, there was that time when Sebastian Morgenstern turned my father into the endarkened, and then he went around killing people. So, I would say he was more like a zombie,” the man was explaining now. “The zombie father tried to kill me but my brother killed him first.”

“Good lord!” Jackson said in shock.

Kit chuckled softly. “Boy do shadowhunters need therapy.”

they really do

He knew about those from New York. He knew Mr Herondale and Miss Fairchild went for one together.

YES GET THEM THERAPY

“Yikes,” Kit chuckled. “I’d prefer something classier. How about London Boys?”

“None of us are from London though,” Tiberius pointed out.

“The Beatles are not actually beetles, Ty,” Kit chuckled. “It’s just for pizazz.”

damn guys

Then the idea of a band turned into a possible YouTube channel where they would react to cute animal videos.

YS DO IT

“When people do awful things, really awful things, at one point we stop being surprised. Like what Valentine did to his children or what our fathers did to us or what those women did to Rafael. We might have been shocked or disgusted. But it wasn’t unrealistic, was it?”

“I guess not,” the boy said.

“Even when they did the most unimaginable acts of cruelty, it somehow managed to fit into our imagination. We accepted that the world can be unrealistically cruel. The kind of cruelty we will never understand. But why isn’t it the same for kindness? Why is that when someone is too kind, we automatically feel uncomfortable? We judge their intensions or think they are just pretending to be nice. We think they are being unrealistic. Why is that?”

we get so used to cruelty that kindness feels weird

“But that’s how our life works, doesn’t it? It’s a giant ball of what ifs and could have beens and if nots. What if my father had loved me instead of hurt me? Could I have been kinder if I was hugged instead of being abused? Would have I been a different person if not for my trauma? Our lives are an endless collection of theories about our real selves. The one didn’t we never had the chance to become.”

THIS

I used to spend a bunch of time on the what-ifs but those are useless. so screw the what-ifs and live in the present

“I guess we’ll never know, Jackson. None of us will never know how we would have turned out if things had been different for us. We never got the chance to be who were meant to be. Instead, we became who we had to become to survive what we went through. We will never know our true selves. We only know the version of us that made it through all the trauma.”

“Christ, that’s depressing,” Jackson said.

“It is,” David nodded. “But we made it through. We survived. I think we should focus on that.”

you survived. that's what matters

“There is nothing wrong with wanting to be rescued,” David smiled.

I wish I had heard this before...

maybe I don't always have to be strong. maybe it's ok sometimes just want to be saved.

I'm so happy that both Jackson and David found each other

David had learned Gaelic. Jackson had learned how to play the piano.

They had laughed and lived and loved and learned.

And they had survived – one day at a time. The London Boys.

they survived.

I know I'm always key smashing and screaming but these words, these lines, all these chapters mean so so much to me.

“You’ll write to me, won’t you?” David asked, hugging Jackson closely.

“No,” Jackson replied. “I will FaceTime you like a normal person, you weirdo!”

David laughed at that. “I prefer letters. They are more emotional.”

“I’ll text you,” Jackson countered. “With emojis.”

oh to have someone write me letters.

I love writing letters

once at the end of a school year, I wrote little letters to everyone in my class anonymously. even the people who had been mean to me. that was like 1-2 years after my transfer to that school and everyone practically hated me but I wanted to do something nice because who knows what someone is going through. I ended up not putting them in people's desks...

I threw them all away :)

but writing letters is superior

I often write my feelings down and give the letter to someone rather than talk to someone

if you receive a letter from me or a custom-made gift...you have reached my ultimate friendship

oh my god. THIS IS HOW I SHOULD TALK TO ONE OF MY FRIENDS ABOUT MY FEELINGS

It's kind of been a mess between us and I want to talk to her but I didn't know how to.

this is why i shouldn't send asks-

JACKSON CATCHING UP ON MAX AND DAVID

“You know what it means,” Jackson grinned harder. “Also, if that wanker tries to break your heart, I will break his face.”

“You know he is the Consul’s son?” David giggled.

“I’ve done it once and I will do it again,” Jackson shrugged. “He better treat you right.”

"wanker"

I HAVE A BRITISH ONLINE FRIEND AND THEY CALLED OUR AMERICAN ONLINE FRIEND A WANKER

AND OUR OTHER BRITISH FRIEND JOINED IN

WHILE ALL THE NON-BRITISH PEOPLE WERE LIKE "huh"

Lexi had cut her hair even shorter. Her girlfriend apparently got something called an undercut.

“Just in case someone dared to assume we were straight,” she had winked at him.

how many years has this fake dating been going on...

CENTURION SELENA

fterA the twins went to bed, David stepped out of the institute and went looking for his heart.

"went looking for his heart"

OH FUCK I FORGOT TO JOIN MY CLASS

MAX STOP DEPLETING YOUR SELF GODDAMN

And then somewhere along the way, Max’s heartbeat had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.

Max, with all his chaos and drama and danger, had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.

oh my god that's a parallel from canon

“Tell me why.”

“Ain't nothing but a heart break!!"

Max-

Max could make fireballs that killed demons on the spot. He could summon things from anywhere. He could heal people with his eyes closed. He was one of the youngest warlocks allowed to visit the spiral labyrinth.

Max was a warlock in every sense. A good one. A great one even.

he is so talented...

Only idiots would underestimate Magnus Bane’s power.

EXACTLY

He is probably going to be Consul like next week.”

David chuckled. “Next week?”

next week????

“Yeah, his smoking habits,” Max rolled his eyes.

Rafael wasn’t the smoker in the family. He knew who it was, but David would never open his mouth. It wasn’t his secret to tell.

this keeps on getting better

“It’s my hair!” David laughed.

“And you’re my David!” Max argued. “I say you are not allowed to grow your hair.”

MY DAVID

“I don’t want to downworld-splain it to you.”

Max blinked and then laughed. “You don’t want to what?”

“Downworld-splain,” David mumbled. “It’s when shadowhunters explain downworlders how to be downworlders.”

they were SO close to kissing

I'm gonna get in there and lock them in a closet together and tell them to FUCKING GET WITH IT

Remember who you are. Remember where you stand.

remember who you are. remember where you stand...

I know this is supposed to be about portals.

OH MY GOD THEY KISSED

THEY KISSED

IM SO CLOSE TO SCREAMING CLASS AND EVERYONE OUTSIDE THIS ROOM BE DAMNED

OH MY GOD DAVID FELL

reminds me of when alec fell down the stairs-

OH MY GOD I'M GONNA SCREAM

WE'RE GONNA GET MORE MAVID CONTENT SOON I'M SCREAMING INTERNALLY UYDRVFY7VSDU7UYVFSDUYGCADUYIGJCDSHJKGDVCSUGISDVHVF

ok, I have a computer assignment to get to and tests to study for. BUT I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO MUCH!! THEY FINALLY KISSED I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!

Also I know I tend to go off track and you can totally ignore that. i just go crazy. BYEE

This live blog gives me so much life you don't even know. I am go glad you enjoyed the chapter. I love hearing you rant about it. It's refreshing lol.

And I looooooove the lil anecdotes you share in between. Also wtf is a programming class like nobody wants to learn programme what kind of hetero nonsense I-

FINISH YOUR ASSIGNMENTS AND STUDY FOR YOUR TESTS I'LL SEE YOU SOON :)

#lbaf

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mevekagvain · 3 years

Text

Chapter 93 - Fancy chair, love it.

- So my theory is that Raizel just never learnt how to write in Lukedonian either.

- Tbh the janitor is suspicious. Like how hard was he googling M-21?

Chapter 94 - SUYIIIIIIIIIIII

- Ah geez the first of the racistly depicted characters.

Chapter 96 - Suyi getting mad at the kids for complaining about Hansu is so funny like when she first appears you think she's perhaps a stuck up celebrity or a pushover but it turns out she's just a really sweet friend.

- Suyi being stunned by Rai's looks but not falling for him (same with Yuna) is one of the things I always liked about Noblesse. Like sure in the first meeting they get blushy but I'll just jot that down to the inherent beauty of nobles since I can't relate to it at all.

Chapter 97 - Frankenstein's house always being stocked with so much food because the kids just started coming over daily is hilarious. Even funnier since Frankenstein obviously thinks it's overkill but is the one stocking up anyway.

Chapter 98 - Regis and Seira 🥺 Seira's og outfit was the best one she had like it only goes downhill from here folks.

Chapter 99 - It would have been so funny if Frankenstein went "they must be cosplayers" instead of realising the two were nobles.

- Regis taking all the initiative shows how it's his roadtrip coming of age journey which is pretty clever. Also Seira's just like that but still.

- Shinwoo stop exercising in class bro. Do not flex on the rest of us this is so rude 😭😭😭

- Regis confidently saying he's a noble in class to humans he doesn't plan on mind controlling... Baby boy why are you so dumb? How is this hiding your identity??? And Seira just lets him,,, good for her.

Chapter 100 - Ah yes their elegance boner at seeing Raizel... nobles are so fucking weird.

- M-21 thinking he won't get any information because of his time at the Union and thus being surprised at how open Frankenstein is is actually really sweet. Like yeah I still think Frankenstein is an unethical and questionable person but he is kind to most humans (werewolves and nobles can go fuck themselves I guess lmao).

Chapter 101 - The second hand embarrassment I felt when M-21 called the two noblesse... how do I even consume content?

- Yeah 100% most union members don't know the difference between nobles and vampires. I bet they'd classify jiangshi as either mutants or werewolves. Or to be more specific, that would be the classification given to low leveled members. On one hand I think it's dumb that the Union gives members twisted information because how would they even use it? But on the other hand it makes sense since it prevents said members from seeking nobles for help. After all, if they believe even the 'noblesse' are vampires that drink blood, than obviously they won't see them as possible escape routes.

- 'Noblesse only applies to one person'. Yeah because Rai's brother is fucking dead. And so is whoever was his predecessor/parent.

Chapter 102 - Those bullies got backup so fucking fast like Shinwoo literally just asked Regis and Seira if they were okay then boom! They're back.

Chapter 103- Regis going ??? essentially when Shinwoo tells him to take care of Seira is so funny like yes ofc he's confused she's literally a clan leader + noble females aren't physically weaker + noble women work out just like the men.

- Rude, Regis. You can't just ask someone why they're mingling among humans. You're doing that too. Who doesn't mingle among humans smh. Even cats and pigeons mingle with us.

Chapter 105 - Love how everyone else in the household is so sick of ramyeon like Raizel stop please you're being selfish.

Chapter 106 - Frankenstein is the definition of the 'right in front of my salad?' meme at Regis and M-21 arguing at the dinner table. Then there's Seira and Raizel just waiting for the noodles to get soggy so he can't even eat. Wish Urokai could see him getting tortured like this.

- The soldier rejecting backup because he knows the enemy is the Union hurts my heart. Wanting to prevent casualties... iwi

Chapter 107 - Shark how tf do you not know about South Korea? That's one of the asian countries people actually know about. I guess maybe it's because this is from around a decade back? K-pop is more recent and made the country more visible I guess.

- Ah yes Takeo. Forever known as "the first time I read Noblesse and he appeared I thought he was Marie's sister since they had the same hairstyle". Like I thought that before even learning about the Aris Taivra fiasco. My power 😔

- Oh don't worry M-21, Frankenstein stopped experimenting on people 830 years ago. You know, as one does.

Chapter 108 - Shark has like no general knowledge. Geography? History? Tf is that I guess.

- Tao saying they're the worst possible people for the job is so funny like yeah he's right. "All we do is massacre people in warzones why are we in Seoul?"

- The rest of the squad complain or are confused about the peace meanwhile Takeo is vibing. He's the normal guy TM of the group.

- Ah yes noble lore. If you take canon at face value than the fact that nobles were around when humans first emerged and there being about 2-3 clan leaders before the current generation means you can estimate their lifespan. Ofc it differs wildly depending on how you interpret the 'first humans' part. I'll assume there were 3 generations before the current generation (mvp lord being the third generation) and won't be adding the current generation since a 0.5-2k years is kinda meaningless. I'll also be assuming that mvp lord entered eternal sleep at around the same age as his predecessors and that he would have died soon from old age anyway (since canonically they do have limited lifespans). If we assume it's just the first human ancestors (7 million years ago) than the average pureblood lifespan is 2.33 million years. If we assume it's when homo sapiens started to emerge (300k years ago) than it's 100k years. If it's about modern humans (130k years ago) than it's 43.3k years. Regardless I'll ignore it since my hcs are that nobles are effectively immortal unless killed and that the 2-3 clan leaders is a misconception due to a mix of Gechutel just straight up lying, because there are clans that have had fewer clan leaders, because I have nobles settling on Lukedonia only 30k years ago, and because Gechutel is factoring in his own age of 10.2k so it's more like 'There have been 2-3 Ru clan leaders before the Ru clan leader 10k years ago since after we settled in Lukedonia'. There's also the possibility that nobles didn't have lords or clan leaders until a few thousand years ago in canon but the species has existed for much longer.

- 'Nobles are individualistic... They don't despise humans but don't love them either.' Humans w/ ants. Now if the ants were capable of speaking with us it'd be exactly the same situation.

Chapter 109 - "What were they researching here?" Since when does the Union research anything aside from human modifications Kranz? Why do you even need to ask? More seriously this means that the Union doesn't actually only do human experimentation and weapons lmao. The other shit just isn't relevant I guess. It's a shame, I'd have loved to see how a lab focused on like, fixing up polluted waters, would be fit into the story.

- The fact that Tao beat Jake up is never mentioned enough. Also confirms that Jake was lying out of his ass about being the strongest.

- Marie being the weakest assassination squad member is interesting like I know why Crombel doesn't need bodyguards as the reader but you'd think the Union would be suspicious of him not having a stronger bodyguard. Also I still can't believe the Union doesn't bother learning who the members are aside from the ones Crombel tells them about like. Bro???

- Shark calling Takeo uptight is hilarious because the guy literally just shot the falling ceiling light which is the opposite of uptight. Either he was preventing them from getting hurt/being caught or he wanted that to happen considering the fact that he shot it and it shattered. And then he just goes back to leaning against the wall. Takeo please 🤣

Chapter 110 - And Shinwoo's still staying over at Ikhans place. Wonder when he's gonna move back. I really love their dynamic like yeah I beg my sister to get me food all the time too. Also love the apron and skeleton hoodie.

- Shinwoo went through the five stages of grief pretty quick huh? Like yeah it's his own misunderstanding that Ikhan is dating someone but still. Homophobia is annoying as always though.

Chapter 111 - Suyi paying for their food is so sweet of her and also I relate so much like yeah mood that's me and no I don't want to be paid back.

- Takeo,,, the fact that he just hands his wallet over because he doesn't like violence and doesn't want to beat them up,,, my heart. Otoh... how did he even get cornered in an dark shady alleyway lmao.

- Aris managing to make herself look like a teenager as Taivra is interesting since Takeo says he wants her to be able to go to school like Yuna and Shinwoo when he's treating them. I guess she looks younger without makeup.

- Takeo just straight up pointing his gun at Shark in public because he mentioned Taivra... anger issues much? I understand why but taking your gun out is an overreaction.

#noblesse #raining while reading

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laufire · 3 years

Text

Supernatural s3

It’s so unfair that the season that has Ruby AND Bela is so short :(((. I was done with it waaaay too quickly, and now I’m speed running through s4 xD (which, like the first time around, is Strong Mixed Feelings territory).

-My girl Ruby!!!! I was so happy to have her back, I kept grinning like a loon every time she was on screen. It’s quite interesting watching the 1.0 and 2.0 versions so close to each other, instead of as they air. I have... Thoughts, on whether Ruby as a double agent was something planned or that they decided as they went, but that’s for the s4 post. s3!Ruby really doesn’t come across as one (“I don’t believe in the devil” oh I wish sometimes xD, I love my nonbelievers), imo, but the beauty of such a device is that you can rationalize anything she does as devious if you want to xD

And it goes without saying that I love her interactions with Sam. THIS SHIP ISTG. I love how immediately ~attuned to her he is lol, his present and instinctive concern for her even if he tries to mask his interest as “practical”. And all the repeated times Sam’s conflicted between her and Dean -like when he deviates Dean shot (wasting one of the Colt’s bullets lmfao) or during the argument about the virgin sacrifice xD. And the “that’s my boy”/ “little fallen angel on your shoulder” quotes!!! Ruby 1.0 deserved to be railed by Sam too, smh.

My favourite episode of hers is “Jus in Bello” (which would be my fave of the season just by virtue of having both Bela and Ruby in the same episode lol. Not interacting, of course, the world as we know it wouldn’t have survived). I just love that she gets that final moment of I TOLD YOU SO to the brothers xD. I really like how she expands on the demonic lore of the show- I love, LOVE the detail about how all demons used to be humans, how they’re souls corrupted in hell. And that in her past life she was a witch (there was this really good fic in Spanish fandom about it... I need to hunt it down).

BTW, though I think her interactions with Dean in that episode are interesting, it really hammers home how much I hate him sometimes xD. Can you stop saying misogynistic slurs for TWO GODDAMN MINUTES, DEAN (and as we know from as early as this season, only HE can have demon/monster friends!! What a fucking hypocrite xD). I freaking love the moment in the finale when she viciously yells him about how she wishes she could see him in hell lmao (and how it foreshadows that when she shows sympathy later, it’s actually Lilith in disguise lmfao). I hate Dean gets the last word in their dynamic, tbqh. Until the s15 cameo, at least xDD

One thing that’s been bothering me xD: the French fries. Demons are vulnerable to salt, like other spirits, right? (and hey, look what a nice piece of foreshadowing that was). How does that translate to food lol. Because Ruby adores French fries, and they obviously contain salt. It’s like spicy food for humans? Or like pineapple? Inquiring minds etc. xD

-I still cannot believe Bela Talbot was only on the show for six episodes lmao. Her presence still lingers in the watchers’ heads so much?? Which is understandable because she’s Lead Girl Material if there was ever any lol. The care with which they styled her even?? You don’t do that for just any character lmao (I mean, just look at most of SPN’s female characters for comparison xD).

Her ship with Dean could’ve really been something, too -even if I hate Dean in it, I can’t deny it packs a punch, narrative-wise. I mean, the Batcat undertones alone!! The fake married undercover shenanigans!! And I think it’s really interesting that she’s such a blind spot for him; Dean’s unusually intuitive about people, but with Bela he takes everything at face value and she can fool him like no other (while, OTOH, is Sam who questions her facade and wants to see more). If he hadn’t been such an idiot (and such an asshole) he could’ve had a really powerful ship. Sucks to be him lol.

Anyway. Man, I love her. So much. I love how Gordon’s threats to kill her don’t work on her, and I love that the show basically said “Bela killing her abusive parents is good, actually” (I’m so tired of forgiveness narratives, you guys. This entire show is founded on revenge, so let me get my revenge fantasies in peace!!) xDD. And I love, LOVE that she withheld that truth from Dean, that she decided he wasn’t worth it. OTOH, you know, fuck the fans that got her written out, definitely; but on the other, I do love how her story ended (and that it was a clear "fuck you" to shitty fans). Doesn’t stop me for wanting to read and re-read (and maybe write!) even more “Bela escapes hell” fix-its, but still.

Also, very important question: what happened to her cat?? It’s the cat alright?? I’m going to headcanon that she left them with that cougar friend of hers lol.

-So. THE DEAL. Okay. Oof. I love this storyline, a lot. A loooot. I love the conflict it creates between the brothers (as long as there’s still conflict and Sam hasn’t yet started taking everything lying down I can enjoy that part of their narrative lol). I love Dean’s initial forced giddiness about “making the most out of his last year” and I love the moment Dean decides he does want to try to live because it makes the last few episodes all the most desperate and cruel (and hey, I’ve heard he only went to hell because the season was cut short due to a writers’ strike... if that’s true that’s so funny lmao).

My absolutely favourite part however? That you can FEEL Dean’s unvoiced resentment towards Sam. For Dean having to die for him, even if Sam never asked him to. He lashes out to Sam repeatedly through the season, but it really came to ahead in the dreamspace episode, where Dean confronts another version of himself that talks about how Sam was “dotted on” (the revisionism asldfkaf). This show is absolutely ruthless when it comes to showing you its characters’ ugly, unfair reactions to things and it’s my favourite thing evah.

Speaking of the dreamspace episode, OMFG. I loved both brothers there. Dean’s hallucination, seeing himself as a demon? And how he let out his anger about John?? Beautiful, truly (regarding John, I also loved their different reactions when it looked like his spirit had contacted them: Dean jumping on it and Sam detached skepticism). But my favourite part has to be when Sam uses the villain’s abusive father against him. Like. Damn. That was cold-blooded o.0

The second-to-last episode, when Sam tracked down that Frankenstein doctor to try and make Dean immortal was ABSOLUTELY HORRIFYING OMG. I loved that. I love that Sam wanted to use it for both them. It was some scary shit. I also love the scene where the crossroads demon questions whether Sam really wants to break the deal, I’m gathering it’s going to be nice foreshadowing later on in the show lol.

Anyway. I also found Dean’s death scene more impactful than Sam’s. Partially because of the horror of it, but mostly because I think at this type of scenes, Padalecki is better. Sam’s grief felt more real, Dean’s got me out of the scene (it’s the voice, I think. Sometimes Ackles’ voice takes me out of scenes, it sounds... forced).

I also really enjoyed how the time loop episode wrapped around this subplot. It managed to be both heartbreaking and mind-numbly hilarious lmfao. Like?? All the deaths?? Were so pathetic?? I tip my hat to Ackles because I don’t think most actors could carry plots like this half as well lmfao.

Sidenote, it’s always a trip to see The Trickster God knowing that fucker is Gabriel. Archangel “hey Mary do you accept God knocking you up” Gabriel. Which I guess isn’t exactly a thing in this show?? Since according to the wikia SPN Jesus was “just a man” (and let me tell you, I’m tickled pink by the fact that out of ALL mythological figures, specifically all CHRISTIAN mythological figures, the show decided to go “nah” on Jesus Christ. I mean, I guess he’d take away from Dean’s, Sam’s and Castiel’s resurrection narratives, but still. It’s so funny!!).

-Gordon Walker remains a superbly acted and fascinating character with extra racist nonsense alsdkfjasdf. But I can’t deny I loved seeing him as a vampire. He was terrifying. And I’m definitely shipping him with Kubrick, ouch xD

-The Ghostfacers episode is... something. As in, incredibly exploitative and homophobic and with an egregious case of BYG (and the first where I’d say it’s incontestable to claim the trope was used. s1 and s2 are muddy territory given the circumstances, IMO, but this one is 300% BYG), but so successfully manipulative my heart hurt for Corbett and Corbett x Ed still. Fuck them for that ngl. I do still enjoy how anti-Winchesters they all are though xD

-3x01 introduces the one nice marriage of hunters so far, between a black couple. The man dies in a gross, horrifying way within the episode ofc (because he was Mean to the the brothers duh). She makes it out alive, and since she doesn’t reappear in the show she gets to live. So for now black women have a sliiiiiightly better track record in SPN than track guys there: they get to appear in a few more episodes and be more fleshed out (Victor, Gordon), but as long as they’re only in one episode they get to live!! (Cassie, Tamara).

-Rufus and Bobby are exes, right? Right?? Probably still married in some state? You know that post about how when gay marriage was legalized across the USA there were a lot of issues because some couples had split and never bothered to divorce, since it was only legal in one place? That post was made for them. Pity Rufus is a black man, and as such has a limited number of allowed appearances before he’s killed off ¬¬

-I would’ve enjoyed Dean’s moments with Lisa and Ben more (it’s just so RIGHT that in this moment he’d want Ben to be his) if my knowledge of future spoilers didn’t perpetually have me in a state of “pls keep this guy away from kids” lol.

-They had Harmony’s actress (BTVS) and they made her a vampire!! The show’s hard on for the Buffyverse is a bit of a hit and miss but I can’t say I don’t relate xDD.

-I know Jensen Ackles can sing (in fact thanks to youtube I know a few of the actors can... is there a musical episode. Does this show have its own OMWF. I need to know). So why. WHY. Does he sound like that during “Dead or Alive”??? I actually like the scene but he sounds so off-key lmao.

-BTW, I found out that apparently Katie Cassidy and Lauren Cohan originally auditioned for each other’s roles añslkdfjasf. I can’t picture it. Ruby 1.0 is Ruby 1.0 and Bela is Bela xD. Although I’ve seen each playing roles that could meld with the other, just. Nope. Good choice on the casting there lol.

#talking to the void #my thoughts #spn thoughts #supernatural #spnruby #samruby #bela talbot #deanbela #deanruby #sam winchester #dean winchester #gordon walker #ruby 1.0 #spn gabriel #ghostfacers #alan corbett #bobby x rufus #spn s3 #the winchesters get to have a tag I GUESS

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fellhellion · 3 years

Note

Eva Yan for the character thing

favorite thing about them: I really love Eva’s romantic idealism. As tragic as her end is in Daniil’s scenario, the idea of giving soul to something static is honestly very beautiful to me. Especially with the dimension of the Cathedral originally being designed to produce and effect the flow of time. I don’t quite understand all of it but I think the aspiration was beautiful, if incredibly tragic in how she tried to do so.

least favorite thing about them: In 2 it’s def the racism :/

favorite line: The line she has about having an overflowing amount of soul :) but also the exchange she has with Artemy where he calls her a town flower and she calls him a bitter root is cute.

brOTP: Her relationship with Daniil is very endearing in Classic to me, there’s a notable warmth between them in their interactions and even just the contrast between an idealistic, romantic dreamer and someone who values the concrete scientific method and such makes for an interesting variation in their perspectives. And it makes it all the nicer when they come to more of an understand of one another.

OTP: I have a soft spot for Eva/Daniil but my ultimate ship is Eva/Aglaya to be honest. I found a really good fic on it and have been smitten ever since.

nOTP: Nothing that I can really think of to be honest. random headcanon: Nocturnal End Eva has a herb bride wife :D

unpopular opinion: OKAY I HAVE A LOT APPARENTLY BUT my biggest one is that Eva staying in the Nocturnal End is actually incredibly interesting but we should have at least some idea why. She’s torn between the Steppe and the Cathedral and I don’t think it’s a simple matter of fetishisation (though that def does appear to be a part of it), but rather how she conceptualises her “overflowing” soul and connection to immortal miracles. I feel like for being the notable exception to stay in Town for that ending we should’ve been given at least a partial indication of why that is, have more interactions with her during quests when you see Daniil and such.

song i associate with them: AGAIN IM SO SORRY I DONT KNOW MUSIC

favorite picture of them: the classic models are so fucked up lmao look at her HANDS

#ask games #thank u for the ask bro!#transdankovsky

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yfere · 5 years

Text

Shipping Calculus! Live Updates from C2E69

What an episode! Easily in this mathematician’s Top Five for Drama and Cinematography but ah…. *kicks Angst Points program* the heartbreak is really going to kill me one of these days. Thank you to @softazelma @critiquingsoul @hla-rosa and @alarnia for helping out with data entry! Masterpost here.

+50 to Sam/Debate The speed with which he comes….up with good talking points is commendable, but his stamina leaves something to be desired

+52 to Liam/Politics See above.

+20 to Jester/Her Inner Dominatrix as she adds a snazzy whip to her fighting repertoire! An incredibly tactically useful weapon, as it has the ability to restrain and drag people by force across the battlefield! Not to mention how it can be used for Indiana Jones Shenanigans! Point loss because tragically she is not yet Proficient in making people beg for mercy whipping, and despite best efforts, could not manage to use it at certain……key parts of the battle this episode

+15 to Caleb/Fjord as Fjord continues his “lmao we have to take a short rest so CALEB can IDENTIFY things” excuse to make the party let him regenerate his spell slots. Caleb following immediately behind Fjord’s approach of the sarcophagus either to Save This Curious Troublemaker or because he, too, is a Curious Troublemaker. Caleb throwing up a Wall of Fire, a Certified Caleb Panic Spell to help rescue Fjord from the Laughing Hand and…..company.

+29 to Caleb/Caduceus Hoo boy, these guys get a LOAD of battle points this ep, with Caduceus Standing! In Front of Caleb! To protect him! And nearly dying! Caleb in turn deciding that That’s Just Not Acceptable and #WidogastShaping into KING KONG, and SMASHING Caduceus’ attackers, SCREAMING in the Laughing Hand’s face, before scooping up Caduceus like a wee bab and carrying him safely out the door. Both damsels in distress, both knights in shining armor! Caduceus clutching at the Periapt, one of Caleb’s gifts, because he’s so near death! Shouting at Caleb not to hit himself! Then, as they both agree on the necessity of warning others on what happened in the tomb and support each other in planning their next steps out, Caduceus!! Thanks Caleb!!! So quietly!!!!! And Drops The Honorific while doing so, that is a classic Romance Moveeeeeeee

+2 to Caleb/Self Hatred as he self-crits himself with a punch in the face. It’s pretty on brand for him, honestly.

+16 to Caleb/Jester What these two lack in Battle Points they make up for with Cute, as Caleb gifts the swhip to Jester while Effusively Complimenting Her Strength and she thanks him for it! Jester hanging from the whip and saying hello to Caleb, who is Charmed To Death by the silliness and pushes her so she swings! Jester protecting Caleb’s back in marching order! Jester telling Nott that she can rely on her and Caleb above all else, and once again complimenting Caleb’s handsomeness and his nice chin! She Really Has A Thing for that chin, huh?

+5 to Nott/Matchmaking as at this point we can see Nott is just trying to set Jester up with all of the guys in the party. Fjord, Caleb, probably Caduceus next, the point is she wants Jester to get some lovin’

+50 to Obann/Playing Himself as, after avoiding a series of attacks from the Mighty Nein in a Very Cool And Villainous Manner, he manages to bean himself with the very tomb he exploded. Smooth.

+5 to the Mighty Nein/The Angel of Irons as Obann tells them they’re blessed by her, to come as far as they did! Gosh, it’s almost a shame they killed this guy, it looks like if they joined his cult they could have gained some rank in it! Some people are bad guys just because they’re better at it, y’know?

+15 to Jester/Fjord as most attempts at Battle Points didn’t work out (+20 to Dice/Cockblocking), but with Fjord effectively distracting the Laughing Hand from Jester with a Balgura to absorb punishment. Jester backing up Fjord’s awkward “Can I get a HEY” shtick. Also, Fjord thinking Jester’s investigation of the mirrors is a good idea, that is some Detective Solidarity right there. Many point gains for how Fjord is Suspiciously Into Jester having the whip, but point loss as they Massively Disagree on the Yasha situation and what it means.

+10 to Beau/Nerdom for identifying the likely location of Caduceus’ Kiln! She’s just a walking encyclopedia, look at her. Also Beau trying very hard but to no avail to understand how the Angel Blood Statues work—even help from Caleb only yields the same old Pre-Calamity nonsense, ugh.

+9 to Jester/Beau for Jester trying to mimic Beau’s parkour in battle! Majority of ship points gained because Lavorregard was said in game, you guys really need to make this your official ship name, I’m begging you.

+14 to Beau/Yasha as Beau supports Yasha’s desire to stay in the front, but stays just behind her in Marching order. Asking if Yasha is feeling okay, and also asking “What about Yasha??” when the party begins their escape from the tomb, and defending Yasha’s agency and choice to the others later

+40 to Beau/Search and Rescue. In a move recalling her rescue of Nott from the lava of the Fire Giant’s cave, this time Beau, she of Little Strength, through sheer force of Friendship YANKS a nearly-dead Fjord away from an IMMORTAL CHAMPION OF A GOD and carts him off to safety behind the door, in the most clutch of moves!

-100000 to Yasha/Being A Team Player Between refusing protection from the rest of the party and………other things, twas not a great week for this one

+20 to Yasha/Family Reunions as she’s reunited with Obann and her new brother! Critical Role, showing us some great family values tonight!

+17 to Nott/Yasha as Nott fucking….breaks our hearts by giving Yasha a protective flower even after she stabs her, and reaching out to her as the door shuts! Point loss for Nott’s reaction to Yasha stabbing her being to mock Yasha for not stabbing her harder.

+24 to Jester/Yasha as Jester also supports Yasha’s desire to be in the front, listens to some more celestial music with her, and stays with her to confront Obann on the top of the tomb. Trying so hard to bring her through the door, through Charming and Whipping alike, and screaming after Yasha when it shuts on her. Defending Yasha more than anyone else afterwards, wanting to talk to her more than anything, and not being able to think very clearly about next steps because of her grief. Point loss for, y’know, the stabbing

+20 to Nott/Jester as Jester is Incapable of directly lying to Nott, and admits that she has the flask. Nott only being sad that Jester wouldn’t talk to her about her concerns, and saying she “couldn’t stay mad” at Jester. Them talking about how they can rely on each other, how Jester is always standing beside Nott, and Nott confessing how she’s scared and she just wants to be on an adventure right now and not think about anything else. Jester confessing in turn how afraid she is! Hugs, that most wonderful of #BodyContact! And Nott being a little salacious in loudly announcing No One Should Make Upskirt Paintings of Jester, though +4 to Pants/Cockblocking for that literally being impossible. Point loss for Jester’s heartbreak over Nott immediately getting drunk again after her flask is returned.

+9 to Caduceus/Fjord as Caduceus very sincerely mimics Fjord’s “Hey,” and for all but shouting that no one is stupid after Fjord puts himself and the rest down for not anticipating Yasha’s actions. Caduceus’ Bless coming in Very Useful in allowing Fjord to score a killing blow. Point loss for Fjord seeming to doubt whether the Kiln is actually going to be helpful for this current situation.

+10 to Caduceus/“Staff” Dysfunction as he just can’t use the damn thing to finish……off Obann

+8 to Caduceus/Jester as Caduceus in Peak Cute tries to dodge Jester swinging her whip all over the place, saying in a Highly Suspicious Manner that she can really deal some punishment with it, and getting tripped up by it as he tries to make his escape. Dare I say it….this boy is Whipped.

+1 to Nott/Yeza Yeza was mentioned! Nott loves him, it looks like.

+40 to Fjord/The Laughing Hand/Exandria’s Next Top Model as the Laughing Hand does a walkway and pivot as he’s introduced. Fjord, too, is given a Fashion Runway Of Fire by Special Effects Man Caleb Widogast, who wants to see Fjord to snatch the competition from the jaws of defeat

+900 to The Laughing Hand/Dental Insurance because more teeth means more chance of cavities. You can only imagine how many toothbrushes this guy goes through.

#critical role #cr spoilers #shipping calculus #widofjord #widojest #fjorester #lavorregard #beaujester #clayleb #fjorclay #beauyasha #jestasha #nottasha #nott the best detective agency #clayvorre

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