#from a mentally ill shawty who is trying to get better

[whorhees]

Ghost from your past {Creed III}

Adonis x wife! oc x onesided! Dame

Description: Spoilers for Creed 3. Jade, Adonis, and Dame were all friends when they were teenagers. However, things changed when they all grew apart. Adonis and Jade were able to rekindle their love for each other and even start a family, they get revisited by a ghost that they’ve been trying to forget about.

Authors note: I’m mentally ill for these men so I wrote more self indulgent shit. I’m gonna see how many chapters I can string out, it’s pretty weird that I’m going in reverse anyways but who cares.

{face claim @/aerincreer on Instagram}

Jade sat in her window, staring out at the street.

It was about nine pm, and nothing good happens on the streets of LA past eight. But she was waiting for something, more like someone.

Just then, the lights of a car slowly pulled into view and stopped in front of her house. She grins, leaving her window seat to go downstairs. She tip-toed past her father sleeping on the couch and walked out the front door. She had to push open her gate so it wouldn’t make a loud noise if she punched in the code. Afterward, she ran up to the car and leaned in the roll-down window.

“What you sneakin' around for shawty?” Dame grins as he stared at the light skin girl. “I was just comin' by and seein if you were up. Don’t you got class in the morning?” “Both of y’all got class in the morning” She props her arm up on the window, glancing over at Adonis. He was always nervous to talk to her, even after all these years. “Hey Donnie, why so quiet?” The boy cleared his throat, shaking his head. “That’s funny coming from you. Didn’t you just start learning how to talk?”

Jade rolled her eyes. “Yeah, six years ago. Shut up. Where y’all rolling off to?” “My match,” Dame says proudly, tapping the bag that Adonis had on his lap. “I’m ready to win baby” “Ooh! Can I come? Please?” Jade smiles, leaning towards the back seat. “You said one day I can see your boxing matches, come on Dame!” “Nah Shawty” Jade frowns, her bottom lips forming into a pout. “Why not? C'mon, you promised!” “I know I did. I keep my promises baby, You’ll see me. Check it” Dame fully turns towards her, placing his hand on top of hers.

“You’ll see me, my face plastered everywhere. My name on them announcement posters like Mike Tyson, and, you’ll be there front row when I beat his ass. You and Donnie” Jade’s smile began to grow on her face. Her head cocked to the side, “You better not be lying. Because I still think it’s unfair that I can’t see you fight” Jade backed away from the car, “I’ll see you guys tomorrow”

“Bet. The same spot as always” He nodded, putting the car in drive. “Now sneak back into your castle Rapunzel” Jade flipped Dame off before sneaking back into the gates, locking them behind her.

Adonis looked at Dame, nearly having stars in his eyes. “..Cause one day, I’m gonna save you” He pulled away from Jade’s house and went into the main road. “You like her?” Adonis asked, staring out the rearview mirror. “…Something like that.” Dame turns to his friend and grinned. “When I make it, I’ll do my thing with you, bro. Scoop out some ladies, then settle down with her.

I have it allll planned out”

“Come on Honey and Blue” Jade walked out with dry towels as the twins climbed out of the pool. She promised them that on the first warm day, they could do so, but it was drawing close to the sun setting. “Your dad is going to be home soon” Blue removes his goggles. “Will I get to show him my picture I made today?” “Of course, after you take a bath” Blue grins and ran into the house to a bathroom. Jade turns to her daughter, quiet like always. She signs to her.

‘What’s wrong?’

Honey glanced at her, shaking her head. She moved closer to her mother and leaned into her. Now she got it, she missed Adonis. That’s all. “Don’t worry, he’ll be home soon” Jade picks up the little girl and took her to the bathroom.

Hours passed and Adonis wasn’t home, it was weird. He would usually call if he was going to be at the gym late. She sat on the couch with the twins, watching Blue’s favorite Tv show while honey curled up next to her. The front door finally opened and Jade stood up. “I’ll be back, Blue watch your sister” “Okay mama”

Jade walked down the steps to the front door, her arms crossed. “And where were you?” Adonis turns towards her, a smile on his face. “Baby-“ “I called you multiple times Adonis. You had me worried sick!” Jade playfully smacked his arm. “You aren’t gonna believe who I ran into” Jade tilts her head, her eyebrows knitted together with confusion. “Who?”

“Man…This place is nice…” Jade peered passed her husband, her arms dropping to her side and her eyes widened. “What’s up lil lady?” “Dame…?” He smiled, walking passed Adonis. “At least someone remembered me first. No bullshit” He held his arms out, looking at the woman. “What? No hug for me?” Jade had conflict in her eyes. “Yeah, of course!” She hugged the man, it was strange. Seeing him after all these years.

“And who are these little rascals?” Jade’s eyes snapped open and she pulled back from the hug. She turned around and stared at the twins who stood there, Honey held her brother’s hand who greeted the stranger with a hard unwelcoming stare. “Oh, Dame. These are the twins, Honey and Blue” “Twins…y’all had twins?” Dame crouched down to the height of the children, extending his hand. “Im Uncle Dame”

Blue looked at his parents, his glare didn’t falter. “You’ll have to forgive them. The twins aren’t too fond of strangers” Dame chuckled and stood back. “It’s cool, I would be lookin at a nigga weird if someone I aint know was in my house” Jade glanced at Adonis before walking over to the twins. “It’s bedtime babies, I’ll be up soon okay?” Jade moved Blue’s face gently to look at her. “Okay?”

“…okay” Blue took Honey’s hand and lead her to their shared bedroom.

“How is it possible that they both like you and Adonis? That’s just crazy” Dame turned back to the couple that stared awkwardly at him. “Dame, how have you been? Would you like some dinner?” “Oh please, I would love to” Dame took off his jacket and placed it on the coat rack near the door. “I’ve been cool, Just got out. Tryin' to get my PO off my back” “That’s good…” Jade led the two men to the kitchen, and the chef was finishing up the meal. “Yeah, how have you been Jade?”

“I’ve been okay” Jade moved to put the plates on the table for the three of them. “Got your modeling career off the ground? I had all your shoots when I was in the pin” Jade sat beside her husband. “Did you? I always look at my early work and cringe a bit” “Nah, you still look as good as the last time I saw you” Dame watched as the chef poured the food onto his plate. “Private chef, glass floors…yall really went all Hollywood huh” Adonis chuckled and reached for his fork. “Yeah, I guess you could say that”

“No really, you guys don’t come around the hood no more.” Jade sighed as she picked with her food. “Nothing is for us there anymore. Times changed Dami” Dame smiled, pointing his fork at the girl. “Not long enough if you still callin' me Dami. It’s fine”

It was a long awkward silence, mainly on Jade and Adonis’s part. They didn’t know what to say to the man, he felt like a stranger again. The boy they grew up with, someone they just locked away and tried to forget about…he’s here in their house. “So, what do you plan on doing now that you’re out?” “I want to get back in the game” Jade rose her eyebrow. “The game…As in boxing?” Dame smiled. “Yeah, Adonis promised to put me on”

Jade side-eyes her husband quickly. “Did he…” “I told him I’ll see what I can do” Adonis corrected them, stuffing his face full of food. “Okay,” Jade pushed her plate away. She suddenly lost her appetite but she decided to look at the two men. “You know you can always come to us if you need something” “You don’t need to worry about me, Jade. I’ll get it all together” Jade stood up and gave Dame another hug before going upstairs to check on the kids.

~

Jade sat on the edge of the bed biting her thumb, she couldn’t sleep. She was on edge, her heart ridden with guilt. The door creaked open and she turned her head, Adonis stood in the doorway. “Hey,” He came over and sat beside her, leaning his head on her shoulder. “God I feel so horrible” She mutters quietly. “I stopped writing him a few years ago around the time me and you were getting together, I just couldn’t-“ “Hey, Hey” He grabbed her shoulders, making Jade look at him.

“It’s not your fault…You did more than me” Adonis kissed her forehead. “I never even got any of his letters.” Jade took a deep breath and nodded. “Alright…What did you promise him?” Adonis rubbed the back of his head. “Dame wants a shot in the world league to get the belt” “What?” Jade said astonishingly. “We’re getting old, even you are retired! Dame wouldn’t even have a shot against half those young guys now” “Way to have faith in him” Adonis chuckled. “Faith? I’m being real.” “The man said he kept himself in shape, so we can see”

Jade fell backward on their bed, sighing. “Just…Don’t do anything you’ll regret. You…We don’t owe him that much just because we knew him” Adonis stared at his wife as she pulled the blanket on herself. “At least, that’s what I’m trying to tell myself. I’m gonna come by the gym tomorrow to see so myself” Adonis kissed her forehead, stroking her face. “It’s going to be okay…I’m going to check on the kids” Jade snuggled deeper into the blanket. “Mhm…Okay”

Jade tried to fall into a deep sleep, but her thoughts couldn’t help but linger on her old friend. I don't owe him anything, she tried to convince herself. He made that decision by himself, she reminded. But god, it didn’t help her from feeling less bad.

#black oc #black writer #creed #creed iii #adonis creed #michael b jordan #jonathan majors #dame creed iii #self insert #black characters #x black oc #adonis creed x reader #old friends #black girl oc

[nmsthim]

#imabigasb$$$$

IMABIGASB$$$$ #16big #13itch I love my life give me my round ain't no bald headed trick x2

ya love this right here a trick off the books ain't no pork and bean STUFF eat my dust just living life baby ain't A fool for two repping and stepping I love my ninjas tho we reaching the hilt of it. custom made bust down they calling me back to the streets big talk big stick hella rounds,

I got some blicks I'm the talk of the town the head mistress the mistress diaries I'm her the one and only he love me and get it for me making sure I don't miss my menses a page off the black books miss Mary on a whimp who is him get yo wig split solid like a rock bling Miami, off of bricks hos in different area codes drip in designer ain't the weakest link Mr.I I'm about that action facts over fiction spend it how I live it get it and I'm A winner checks blowing digits get like me shorty hoping for my dream beat like a freak CHORUS

OOS coming after me yelling whoop that trick I'm getting paid to split these gs split and dip. honey I'm coming home and its for a fee I'm fresh and so clean mouth full of Gleece bleed where's the fleece I'm A freak in the sheets leave a block head on the streets boss mentality head over heels in my big ass Bentley never too much for me check OOS and balance ninjas don't get at me if I ain't send for ya. ya peep but stay sleep motivate but y'all can't relate ain't weak in the knees, I'm in y'all mentions bow legs looking like the best pair in show collecting heads like its war warm up to me for the best in me tell them ill be coming around the Mountain crazy eyes on me I'm on one break them eyes as I walk by switch the walk with a smize like what like whatever whenever wherever you know I've been better so sick of love songs anyways break the ice ice baby come and talk to me open up to me talking about some honest tea pity party need to get past me princess pea, piss of by everything everyone on one what we gonna be music to my ear I'm getting tired of the STUFF talking street bulky walking , zombie hunting, acting green does it do something for ya ,forward this message to 20 ppl

CHORUS tax that BUTT because I'm what you ought to be going for the gold I'm coming through Smooth smooves and unaltered carbon I'm adulterY porn over 18, asking dude where's my car? behind the wheel in the latest model I love being me yeah me picture me rolling couldn't imagine me doing anything other what its been and come and earn it work it girl you know you prefect A plus for the try trump card getting by black card so I'm always fly peep the green card yeah I'm the reason why. stay strong never be complacent no lying ho can stop this parade don't rain on my parade say what's on you mind since you got something to say better surroundings caused for times like this from dusk til dawn I got what's coming for me rocking the latest designer things rings blings chains gains Hanes a cat walk thru pop my color my collar I'm fresh and famous too... get like me, ain't another shawty like me and right away is another bust open up to another opp hater blockers on me I won't be stopped treat or trick yourself into a block head strong money on my mind click flash a selfie and get a bigger picture swarm my way I'm putting ways out like its free dinner I got the keys and status knock y'all out the frame changed that game had to plead the fifth if that's what you mean with these kids and yo man I just might stay never sleep on these hos tell them get away tellem get back back, back to back, back to black, CHORUS..... miss me with that bull spit heavy hitter, hit em up style and let soul's boy tellem put those opposing in a coffin rock em sock em drop em clock em out empty out the pockets clips and wallet mistaken me for you friend or something what do you want from me? do my dance at the end since I'm free balling , balling so hard Ware at the point that it osama a clown and it all falls down never new a love like this found a pick me up after the end to a beginning put some respect on my name replay the last clip respect the technique nameless and blameless in your eyes Alexa couldn't figure me out free balling like mike and Iverson had to post up alone zooming down the alley like you owe me something collect calls like I just came from the pen jail bait have them clicking and saying my name no complaints, no shoes, no shirt, no service bed set, game, and match, ain't no cheap thrills thriller this vanilla he a wanna be big kill king me and check my mate with a few whirlwinds you don't know what's coming for you me myself and I I love me like I'm A classic ,A fan, an icon awesome! good job! thanks! no prob! Eat you up like its a pinched giveaway getting struck by Cupid,call it lucky strike, green lightning.. Gas lighting never stopping pocket watching got to think twice. never switch up balling like we took Arab from soulja call me a stronghold if I ever beg, its bigger war on drugs I'm that blood thinner no cap if I got a prob ya peep the turn of events ima get right with ya.

Chorus

#relatable memes #audible #music #album #sing #rap #rhymes

[ssparksflyy]

hihi!! my 18th birthday is coming up soon and no one’s really been getting excited with me, so I was kinda wondering if you’d be willing to do a Leo Valdez x fem! (Daughter of Poseidon, not that it really matters) Reader fic? just like, basically him hyping up her birthday and just being super excited for her?? i just need some good ol’ comfort from my childhood comfort character lol!! thank you so much, hon, and I hope you have an amazing day 😌😌

ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.

go shawty, it's your birthday ! ๋࣭ ⋆｡ °✩

pairing: leo valdez x fem!reader summary: leo washes away your fears of growing up with his excitement of a future together. warning(s): none! just fluff ♡ word count: 876 a/n: hihi! tysm for requesting ♡ i hope u enjoy this and it fits what u asked for :)) sorry this is kinda short :( school has been a pain lately and i havent had much motivation but i wanted to get this out so ♡ also hope u have / had such a great birthday! finally legal, babyyyyy!

the lake had always been your favorite part of camp.

to you, it was such a convenient place to be. the lake managed to comfort you through any emotion, like it moved with you. if you were feeling a little down, the water would be soft and slow, matching your mood. if you were there with friends or leo, the currents would pick up, mirroring your rush of happiness.

you found yourself looking out at this very lake, the waves coming in calmly, the sea breeze comfortably hitting your face. you heard his footsteps on the dock, but didn't turn around. you already knew who it was.

"hey water girl" leo said, plopping down next to you on the edge of the dock, letting his feet dangle off of it, but just barely graze the water.

"hi fire boy" you said, looking at him and giving him a soft smile.

he returned it, and lifted his left arm up. you leaned into him and allowed him to put his arm around your shoulder. you put your head on his shoulder, and he put his on top of your head. you two had done this so often, you didn't even need to say anything anymore. it just happened.

"whatcha thinkin' about, pretty girl?" leo asked softly.

you knew you didn't have to hide anything from leo. even if you did, you knew he'd manage to get it out of you. he'd continue asking you about what you were hiding, and would then try to guess it. you always gave in eventually, he just had that effect on you. you didn't like hiding anything from him anyway, it felt unnatural. so you told him the truth.

"im just a little scared for my birthday." you said, looking out into the ocean, noticing how the current was picking up. not in a happy way, in a way that mirrored your worries and quick heartbeat.

leo took his head off of your shoulder and looked down at you. "why?" he asked.

"growing up has always just been a little scary, i dont know." you say, pursing your lips and looking down at your feet, watching them lightly skid across the water.

it goes quiet for a second, the only sound being the waves crashing onto the shore. leo's the one to break the silence. "well you know what, i think you should be looking forward to your birthday."

you let out a dry chuckle and look up at him, "and why's that?"

"cause a little birdy told me that your super awesome boyfriend is throwing you a party, i think your invited, but im not sure. ill have to check with him. its gonna be so cool, like the whole camp is invited, except the jerks, so maybe you are invited. it's totally gonna be better than the stoll's new year's party."

oh gods you remembered that party. pollux managed to get ahold of mr. d's alcohol cabinet and lets just say everybody (over 16, because mentally, you were in cuba) woke up with a splitting headache.

"oh and! i heard he wanted to take you shopping and already got premission from chiron to do it? i dont know, the guys kind of like obsessed with you, it's sooo funny to watch."

and it was. leo was noticeably blushing, and his body was getting warmer. you couldn't help but laugh at him.

he continued to talk about the benefits of growing up, which really cheered you up. he talked about moving in together, having to work for long hours, and hating it but it being worth it when you came home and had dinner together, followed by falling asleep together. he talked about adopting a pet together, maybe a goldfish. he talked about growing old together and always being by each other's side.

the water's current remained strong, but this time it was a good thing. leo managed to pick up your spirits, he always could. you could tell he was enjoying it as well. these pictures he was painting were enough to leave you both smiling and slightly kicking your feet.

"so yea! really, you should be excited to grow up, and you should be excited for your birthday, maybe i wont shove your face into a cake" leo said, finishing the picture he painted of what your lives could look like in the future.

you couldn't help but laugh. it wasn't a mocking laugh, it was a genuinely happy one. the thought of leo planning out your future together was enough to make you want to actually jump for joy. now he was sharing it proudly, oh boy you were surprised your heart didn't run out of your chest.

"you still scared of growing up, mi amor?" leo asked, his smiling beaming.

"not anymore, thank you leo." you said, a grateful smile on your face.

during his talk, he had taken his arm off his shoulder and turned his body to face you, still remaining close. you did the same. now, you sat up and cupped his face. you connected your lips and leo happily kissed you back, his hands resting on your waist.

the kiss was long but sweet, like a promise to your long future together.

a/n pt.2 : hi again! hope u enjoyed thisss, i love me some leo fluff ♡ sorry i havent been posting much this week, again, school is a oain in the butt :( but! finally got this out so time to finish my other requests ♡ have a wonderful day / night !

peace from manhattan,

percy jackson

#percy jackson #percy jackson x reader #pjo #pjo x reader #heroes of olympus #heroes of olympus x reader #hoo x reader #leo valdez x reader #leo valdez x you #leo valdez #by bells ♡⋆ ࣪.

[prettyboykatsuki]

sometime self-care isn’t face-masks and nice music. sometimes its trying to clean your room and breaking down half-way through, but finishing. sometimes it’s going to the grocery store and buying food that you want to eat, even when you don’t feel like that’s okay. sometimes its talking yourself into a shower for 20 minutes because its daunting. detangling knots out of your hair bc you’ve been too tired to brush it. it’s making a dentist appointment for a toothache and crying afterwards because you hate phonecalls. cleaning your piercings. sometimes its being honest with your therapist. sometimes it’s clearing out cups with mold or cleaning your car or finally brushing your teeth so you stop feeling that weird film in your mouth.

sometimes it’s really fucking ugly. crying and heaving. i know how bad it can get. it’s hard to get better. it’s hard to think of anything other than tomorrow. it’s telling yourself that it’s okay even when it doesn’t feel like it. like cradling yourself in your arms. 

it’s okay. i know it’s so much harder than you can tell people around you. that it’s so ugly, but you did it. it’s okay that you don’t have it figured out. you lived. im so proud of you. you did great. 

#mental health tw #ask to tag #aristotle.txt #from a mentally ill shawty who is trying to get better #to all of u

[lmjupdates]

Lauren Jauregui on her Sense of Self, the innate magic of spirituality, & her upcoming EP

Portrait by: Halie Torris

Portrait Reference Photo by: Munachi Osegbu

Interview by: Isabella Vega

Photos by: Tristian Hollingsworth

One of the most surreal moments of my life was sitting in the Zoom room, waiting for Lauren Jauregui to enter. There was a plethora of thoughts swirling in my head, mostly nerves - I had never met someone who I had such a deep cosmic connection with, someone I'd spent the last eight years following and looking to guidance for.  What if they weren't all I thought they would be? Then, I spotted the Lauren Jauregui Edition of Coup De Main on my desk shelf, and that's when it hit me: I had manifested  this entire conversation. God put this person in my path for a reason, all those years ago, and I was about to find out why. As I let her into the Zoom, I had no idea the emotional journey the next forty five minutes would lead me. What unfolded was something I always dreamed, and somehow, almost predicted: that in meeting the woman I had spent a lifetime loving and learning from, in truly baring our souls and sharing our life philosophies, a few of my internal puzzle pieces would click together with every laughing breath and anecdote dripping off of her with intellect and authenticity. I present to you: a candid conversation with Lauren Jauregui - how she describes her Sense of Self, her ideas on the current mental health movement, and her upcoming EP.

Isabella: How would you describe your Sense of Self in one sentence?

Lauren: I guess my sense of self is just kind of… This is complex now that I’m sitting and thinking about it! I’m like ‘what does my sense of self mean?!’ I guess it’s just kind of the awareness that I’m embodying. Yeah, like, how much I’m showing up for myself and the self care aspect of all of it. That’s usually when I feel the most sense of self, when I’m aware of my body and my mind and my heart and how it’s feeling, so self-care.

Isabella: Now more than ever, there seems to be a growing awareness/spread of information on mental health, a sort of movement throughout social media platforms. Is there any facet of this growing movement that you would want to change or is there anything you would like to add to the conversations?

Lauren: I mean, I think there is always room for improvement in how we approach things. Again, this is a topic that is new to all of us as a collective, we’ve been under the oppressive thumb of capitalism, imperialism, and colonization for a very long time, and we still live in a settler-colonial state. I think that the disparities between how mental health affects different people is definitely a nuanced conversation. I think that acknowledging state violence can not just be talked away is important, and I don’t think that we talk often enough about how people of color’s mental health suffers because there are systemic things in place to oppress them and to hurt them. That are still in place and that we still debate and that we still have to have conversations about, which has been centuries of people talking about whether or not it’s ok to brutalize people of color.  I think bringing that into the conversation a lot more - state violence’s impact on our mental health. A lot of the time we are just, like “Oh, I’m traumatized because my parents treated me a certain way” or “I’m traumatized because this person did something to me” but what we don’t really address is those behaviors of other folks like parents - something I’m trying to acknowledge is saying “I know my parents didn’t have the tools, and that’s something I’m learning through my mental health journey.” That’s not something I understood off the bat. I thought that the things that had happened to me in my life were the reasons why I was this way.

When you start going into the journey, and when the journey involves the spiritual element of the journey. That’s another thing, I would love to have more conversations about spiritual illness. Where the lack of faith and the lack of belief in self is the root cause of a lot of depression and anxiety. That disconnect from God and the disconnect from the belief that reality can be what we manifest it. We have to take responsibility for the way that our world looks right now, and the way we look, and the way we operate and hold one another or don’t. It really has to come down to every individual person wanting to show up for themselves more and understand themselves more.

I would like to have more conversations about the connectivity between everything, the intersectionality between this stuff.

Isabella: I love that. As someone who’s religious and has a very strong spiritual connection to all of that, that’s what I love about you so much - a lot of people are scared to talk about religion and spirituality, whilst you just go there, and talk about something that is so foundational to our beings.

Lauren: Yeah. I’ll challenge that a little bit and say it’s not necessarily religion. I feel like religion can be an instrument used to pin us against each other. It’s about spirituality because God is a reflection of us and lives in each of us. That’s why God looks so different everywhere because everywhere you go, God looks like the people there, because God is self. Self is God. As far as, like, when you think of the higher self, when you pray, whoever you pray to - this being is here for you, and you see yourself in them. Whilst you can understand that they are there for the rest of the world, as well, that connection regardless of religion, that understanding that there is something greater than yourself, is benevolent?

Isabella: Yeah.

Lauren: And that’s so important. I think we often forget about that, and I know that my darkest times were when I forgot that God existed. And when I didn’t trust in God and their vision for me. A lot of times, we feel like things are happening to us, but really, they’re happening for us.

Isabella: So, I’ve heard whispers through the grapevine of there being an EP in the works. Congratulations! I’ve been waiting!

Lauren: Hahaha!

Isabella: How do you plan on continuing your pure self expression through the release of a shorter form project and an eventual album?

Lauren: Well, I think that music is where I am the most self-expressive. It’s my safe space. I think writing in general, whether that’s my journal, or if that’s my notepad, or wherever. I used to just think a lot, and thinking a lot really messed me up, it gave me a lot of anxiety, and I used to think in loops, which I still do, but I’m better at catching myself now. That self expression is just a pertinent element of why I do music. I feel like I naturally just wanna talk about feelings! I’m just an emo shawty, I really love to put my stuff into words, and I feel like the challenge of putting it into a three minute or four minute song is kind of dope, because you get to kind of get it out. You don’t have to think about all of the things, you have to curate what you’re talking about and how you get the audience to understand your storyline in a concise, intentional way. Whether that’s short form or long form, it’s definitely my approach to making art.

Isabella: I love that! So, I don’t know how much you can say, and it’s alright if you can’t say much! I just wanted to know - what’s the vibe? I know you’ve worked in the past with the brilliant Kid Harpoon, who helped make Fine Line by Harry Styles, which is my favorite album of all time and saved me in so many ways, so will you two be working together on this project?

Lauren: On this specific EP, I am not working with him. I have other songs with him, because he and I make beautiful music together. I love Kid Harpoon. He’s a good friend and a really beautiful collaborator. On this EP, nothing’s produced by him on it, that’s not to say that we won’t work together again or the songs that we made won’t be released in some other format, but this one, I’m almost done with mixing now.

Isabella: Oooo!!!

Lauren: Yeah! I’m just in the process of getting all of the visuals together and making sure everything is packaged nicely and looking good for everybody!

Isabella: I’m so excited!

Lauren: Yes! I think it’s very close, and while I totally understand why everyone is expectant of something from me - I get that and I totally understand - this process of making this music has been WAY more profound than just the music itself, it’s been a huge rediscovery of self. It’s been unlearning like no other. It’s been a messy and painful and joyous process in all kinds of different ways. To me, it’s been so much more than what I can give people. That’s the beautiful after effect to me, so people feel seen, heard, and safe, like there’s someone else who understands where they're at. I focus a lot on the things that I think about, so I hope that whoever listens to it can feel the potency of the self-discovery that went into this and realize why it took so long. Self-discovery isn’t something you do in a couple of weeks, especially everything that I’d been through. I’m a very sensitive soul, and everything that went on really shifted my perception of self into a very toxic place that I needed to come out of, I really needed this time. Everyday, it’s made me trust more in God and God’s plan. Everytime I thought I had it figured out, ready to release, every single time, God would derail and say “Wait, there’s something bigger.” Every time, I was like “God! Let me put out this freaking music!” Isabella: Hahaha!

Lauren: And God’s like “yeah, yeah! I know! But people have to know who you are! And YOU don’t know who you are! When you know who you are, then we can give it to the world!” I know who I am now!

Isabella: That’s amazing to hear. I really hate when fans try to claim the intimacy of “knowing you” when we only know the public version of you, but I’m a very big empath, especially with the public figures I vibe with, I choose them very wisely. I’ve followed you for a very long time, so I can see the change from “Expectations’'' to “50 Ft.”

Lauren: Right!?

Isabella: Yeah! You’re a new, spectacular whole, and I hope you know how proud I am.

Lauren: Thank you!!!! I’m proud of you, too! You’ve been on this journey with me.

Isabella: Thank you! I really think I have! It’s taken a while for us to put this interview together, and I really feel like God put us together at the perfect moment, because mentally, I feel like I’m in the perfect place to meet you.

Lauren: God’s timing is something else!

This introduction and interview has been condensed for the online format. The full interview appears  in Issue 2: Rumination, open for orders until June 10th. If you've read this whole thing - I love you to actual pieces - use code 333 at checkout for a special discount!

https://www.senseofselfzine.com/product-page/issue-2-rumination

Source: https://www.senseofselfzine.com/post/lauren-jauregui-on-her-sense-of-self-the-innate-magic-of-spirituality-her-upcoming-ep

#lauren jauregui #interview #postedbymarina

[bunny-xoxo]

Bunny’s 200 follower event

request: ok this is for my baby, my shawty, my luv xoxo, my bitch, my world, my EVERYTHING 😩 @plutowrites her request was sent in private so imma keep it that way ❣️ please enjoy baby 💓

a/n: ok so I know you got boyfie kenma but this is who I’d match you with excluding that scary mf 😌😙 sooo say hello to boyfie #2 & #3

Reading your request, you have been matched with...

(づ￣ ³￣)づ Tsukishima Kei

I just knew eventually we’d come to this Pluto 😪 let’s address the mental illness that is being with Tsukishima 😪 IM JUST KIDDING PLS

Ok but no fr everything you’re looking for in a relationship? ^ this guy got

Tsuki is so funny idc

He’ll constantly be whispering snarky remarks in your ear about people around you and just absolutely dog on them and it’s SO funny

And sometimes he’ll just look at you after Hinata said something stupid like 😒 and ITS SO HARD TO NOT BURST INTO TEARS

Like this boy is gonna have you in stitches

And he’s so smart with it too like he’s so witty

He’s also the kind of guy where if you’re dying after he said smth he’s gonna look you up and down with a smirk cause he’s proud of himself LMAO

He’s also not clingey but a lowkey simp

Like he’d never in his fucking life admit to being a simp

But the speed at which he flips his phone when he thinks he might have a notif from you

And the way he will listen to the SAME song on rpt in those mf headphones if it reminds him of you

You’re his home screen too AND HIS EARS WOULD BURN SO BRIGHT RED WHEN YAMS FIRST NOTICES IT

Cause he’s using his phone to text his mom or smth and sees the home screen and is just 🤭😳😏 ~tsukiii

And Tsukis just

😒😐😳🙂

“Give me my phone, you can walk home.”

HES JUST SHY ABOUT LOVING YOU OK

Tsukishima is so decisive too I-

You’d be taking like 3 seconds too long to decide and he’d decide for you LMAO

Or you’d just give him a ~look like 😳🥺 and he’d just know and he’d roll his eyes and figure it out LMAO

Pls you’ll be somewhere and won’t know what you want to eat and you’re getting nervous cause your guys turn to order is coming up and he’d just order something for you he’d know you’d like and after just pull you into his side and kiss the top of your head

“You’re such an idiot.”

you’re VERY lucky he’s good at making good decisions LMAO

Ok he is going to be squishing your cheeks literally all the time????

Like you do anything and he’s grabbing your cheeks with one hand and moving your head back and forth while he talks to you in the mocking baby voice ya know?

“Oh you think you’re so smart baby~”

He’s mean but like, it’s ok cause it’s him and it’s h-hot 😦🤢 and he loves you obviously 🙄

 bitch you said banter that borderlines mean? This bout to be your favorite song^ all he DOES is bully

It’s his love language at this point

Your name in his phone is baby 🧡

But he says it’s just your name LMAO

Until you call his phone so he can find it and you see your contact name

Pls bully him about it he deserves it

It does not matter that you’re tall he will call you tiny literally any chance it makes sense

Can you reach things on the top shelf?

Yes

Does he care?

No

And he will grab it for you and be like

You’re too tiny I got it 🙄✋🏼 LMAO

Okok you mentioned you have eczema

One of Tsukis ways of showing he really does love you is taking care of you

He notices you’re getting low on your cream?

He already went to the store to get some for you

You’re having a flare up and feeling a little insecure?

He’s kissing your temple and whispering how beautiful you look today in your ear, hoping you’ll think about the way his hand is running up and down your arm and how he’s breathing down your neck, and the way the skin behind your ear is burning now from the second kiss he placed, rather than the way you’re eczema is making you feel

He’s a little more affectionate in public that day than he normally would choose to be

It’s subtle, things like intertwining your fingers and kissing your hand before pulling you in his direction rather than the way he’d usually hold your pinky and lightly tug you his way

Or coming up right behind you to look at something you’re showing him, towering over you with his chest against your back

“That’s awesome.” He says it sarcastically but still leans down to press a kiss to your cheek

“C’mon let’s get what we actually came for stupid.”

Even when he’s driving you guys there and back his right hand is resting on your thigh instead of the wheel, only moving to adjust the radio

He notices and his solution to bad thoughts is “think of me instead then bitch”

He keeps literally any and everything you’ve EVER made him

You met in highschool and now live together while you’re in college?

He still has those first things you made him in highschool in a little scrapbook album he made after a couple years of being together

Ok he eats the treats you bake in moderation in front of you ,,, but you’ve come across him more than once getting a midnight snack

🍪😦🧍🏻😅

Crumbs around his mouth and all LMAOOO

ok while he wouldn’t understand the basketball obsession completely he WILL put on a Raptors jersey and sit and watch every game with you and love your reactions

He’s even recorded games for you if you were too busy to watch it and then when you have the time to watch it he IS WEARING HIS JERSEY AND TURNING IT ON ALREADY AND YOURE JUST 🥺🤲🏼

But he’s just 😒 don’t make a big deal out of it

He takes things you’ve baked him to lunch every day bye

OK IM GONNA STOP NOW LMAO

Your vibe reminds me of...

Another suitable match for you would be...

(づ￣ ³￣)づ Jean Kirschtein

OK LISTEN THIS WAS SO HARD

I was reading and I was using my brain HARD I almost said Eren but I don’t think he’d be making smart decisions for y’all... and that mf is too indecisive y’all would really get nothing done LMAO

Apparently I just really love you and Jean

Okok ANYWAYS

Literally the most reliable and attentive mf

He’s a MASTER at being a simp without being too clingy

Always buying things you need from the store (he’s a lil bit of a rich boy too cmon now)

He remembers ALL of your favorite snacks and drinks

And when they change he makes a mental note of it

Literally a quarter of his brain is a roladex of your favorite Haribo gummy’s it’s ridiculous LMAO

He absolutely refuses to share things you bake him with literally anyone

God forbid Sasha gets a whiff, he swears he’ll fist fight her

ITS NOT JUST CAUSE ITS GOOD EITHER

He thinks it’s so special cause you made it for ~him so why tf should someone else get a taste 🤨☝🏼

He’s not even a lowkey simp at this point

The way he’d spoil you pls...

Like at some point you’re like Jean I- I only need so many necklaces

Yeah he’ll just move on to the next thing

Ok this a lil saucey but he’s definitely the type to buy you lingerie he wants to see on you

And if you’re feeling nervous or insecure he’s gonna be all over you and saying all kinds of things in your ear since you’re too shy to make eye contact

Your face is buried in his chest and he’s just running his hands down your sides and whispering little things in your ear like how pretty you are for him and how good you are for trying this on for him

ANYWAYS

He would love to bake with you as a date 🥺🤲🏼

I don’t think he’d be that great ... but he tries!!

And he gets to spend time with you, even if you are laughing at him 🖤

Another one who’s a decision maker

He’s gonna ask you more than tsuki would LMAO but ultimately he’s taking charge in the relationship

He just loves you so much pls

Your vibe reminds me of...

Baby I hope I did this justice 😪🤲🏼 I’m literally in love with you they better watch out... 🔪🧍🏻‍♀️......

Requests are open until February 26th 8:00 pm PST

-🐇out

#snk matchup #snk #snk x reader #snk headcanons #aot #aot matchup #aot x reader #aot headcanons #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan matchup #attack on titan headcanons #attack on titan #hq!! #hq x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu matchups #tsukishima headcanons #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei #jean kirschtien #jean kirschtein headcanons #jean kirschtein x reader #🐇200 follower event❣️

[swearronchanel]

9.01

Ok it took forever to find a working link here we go

1965..

- Omg the ceiling falling on her during labor gtfo

- “Where do we begin? What marks the start of any new adventure?” Tell me, Mature Jenny

- I’m so emo ugh a year ago today (well tomorrow) I moved to London for the semester 😭 I miss it so much..

- THE BEACH BOYS😍 hell yea the tunes

- I WISH THEY ALL COULD BE CALIFORNIA GIRLLLLLSSSS

- Love Trixie’s robe, I need one

- Here’s her damn electric shaver 😂

- RIP Churchill, except not really bc you know racist, eugenist, etc😂

- You tell em Patrick! He sucks

- The turners now have a cohort of children and now rabbits lmaoo

- Tim’s been sent to boarding school, see ya never bro

- ANGELA SPOKE ?! HOLD THE FREAKING PHONE ITS ONLY BEEN HER WHOLE SILENT LIFE ON THE SHOW SJSJSJS IM SHOOK

- WAR HORSE

- skip that funeral Phyllis

- Terry wants to look after his mom how pure

- I want his camera ugh, wait till I get a vintage film camera

- Ok not to ruin the mood but Nonnatus was demolished once before, this is repetitive (I know the 60s brought demolitions but still lol)

- 7 months in squalor 😭 so sad ugh

- Phyllis to the rescue with some polite fighting words

- The cucumbers on the eyes 😂😂 I love them

- Here comes the tights competition lmaoo

- GORGEOUS GAMS, my new blog name

- Cyril gazes at them? 😂😂 who is looking at ankles? I’m weak

- I love her modesty it’s sweet lol, and I love Trixie who is modest in other ways😂

- Phyllis and sister hilda dancing and holding hands is pure AF

- I really like her, I want sister hilda’s backstory! but sister Francis tho - eh lmao I’m not sold yet

- Fred and his first wife’s picture omg let me rip my heart out, I’m glad he’s got violet now 😭

- But the little moment is realistic, we should see Patrick mention Marianne

- sorry Churchill I’m not mourning

- Trixie’s houndstooth coat is a look

- “Your values which I respect” I love her 😂

- Lucille doing the cross, felt

- Terry and his mom in the flat !! my heart

- Love my nurses showing off their legs even if this is a filler storyline *cough Trixie deserves better 1965*

- I love that Phyllis took the photos, we love a supportive mother figure

- The baby in the trash can I can’t 😭😭 it’s not just a thing of past and it’s heartbreaking

- I love Fred ok, he’s just a pure older white man. There are few

- I forgot Sgt Wolfe existed oops

- Like primrose hill ugh my heart I miss London

- Mother Mildred back on her bullshit and I love it

- She’s annoying in the best way 😂

- Sister Mj 😭 if she passes this series IM OUT THIS B! I can not handle *insert Lucille Bluth from Arrested Development saying I won’t hear it and I won’t respond to it*

- Is this Valerie’s bitch ass cousin LMAO ??

- Val pls go see your grandma, I cant stress this enough pls all of you go visit your grandmas if possible, life is too damn short and I know it too well

- Terry is the cutest child omg love him

- “Will he look like me?” Just rip my heart out would you ??

- So is this lady the mother?

- I’m calling it

- HOW DO YOU SPELL LACTATING LMFOAOAOAOA

- sgt Wolfe out here on his law and order detective shit

- What’s up with Terry?  he better not die or I’m fighting

- If something happens to this poor kid I’m going to be personally offended

- “It’s not convenient right now” me at anything, everyday of my life

- Lucille is so cute even when she’s trying not to panic

- Phyllis to the rescue, again

- I love babies but this show just makes me not ever want children LMAO

- If I have to get up on my knees to push out a baby, just slice me open

- Idk why but i wish they would’ve wrote Phyllis telling someone she gave a baby away that she obviously had out of wedlock. Don’t ask why I just feel like it could’ve worked?

- Omg the diphtheria in his mouth🤢vaccinate your damn kids !!!!

- “Everything is supposed to be moving forward” FELT THIS SHELAGH! the world seems to take 2 steps forward and 15 back..

- also loving her new hair tho

- “I haven’t got all day” mood af, Stan Phyllis Crane

- “We’ll be whichever of those you need most” Mother Mildred knows what to say

- I’m glad Trixie is there tho

- Miss Higgins is lowkey underrated, she’s only been a gem lately

- “There’s nothing worse than feeling unfresh” true af Trix, I would’ve never survived without indoor plumbing or soap or anything

- Shawty delivered her own baby?!! She’s BRAVE brave

- DID THE PRIEST KNOCK HER Up?? IM CALLING GOD

- “MOTHER Mildred” put some respect on her name

- I smell shadiness in this church

- SOMEONE HAVING A MENTAL ILLNESS DOES NOT MEAN A PERSON IS BROKEN !!

- Mother Mildred PLS throw some hands for the sake of the Lord almighty

- “Smells of his chemistry set And clearisil” ahh yes what all the cool kids smell like these days you know 😂😂 rip Tim, not gone just moved away till who knows when

- ANIMATED GIBLETS LMAOAOA NOW THTS MY NEW BLOG NAME

- I love shelagh when she says random ass shit 😂 reminds me of her sister Bernadette days

- But Where’s sister Julienne in all this??

- “And I would feel more at ease if i remained” TELL EM MILDRED

- Not too sound so gen y or whatever us late 90s babies are but this priest is only giving me ~bad vibes~

- The Reggie pic😭 I love it

- Fred adding the newspaper clip to his memory box I can’t take it

- Violet my blue eyeshadow queen, I love it (I’m wearing it again in 2020, it was a look that one time)

- “Family meant no space” 😭 I just want terry to get better and reunite with his momma and new sibling

- Omg Brenda 😭 where is your ex? I will wring his neck out

- Trixie😭😭 the childhood traumas tonight whew,..

- It makes me so sad ugh

- Sister Hilda has a velvety accent if that makes sense lmaoo

- “Do you know who the father is? FATHER” MOTHER MILDRED DRAG HIM! YOU KNOW IT AS I DO

- Omg this little girls arm! help her

- Trixie’s two piece little set is so mid 60s and cute

- “I was running away from something that was hard and it was too easy” felt that Val

- But I’m so glad she’s gonna go see her gran

- TERRY IS OK GOD BLESS 😭

- “Pass the tea cakes to this end” LMAO I guess I am Mother Mildred

- Sister Julienne is like probably like thank God Mildred is finally leaving 😂

- They won runner up! 😂😂

- FISHNETS LMAO I love it

- Aww sister Frances made a blanket, pure

- SLAP HIM WITH THE CANE MILDRED

- it’s her pimp cane😂 I love it when you call me big mommaaaa

- I KNEW HE WAS THE FATHER!!! I AM PERSONALLY CALLING THE LORD TO SMITE HIM

- Violet framed Betty’s photo wow bye let me ducking cry my eyes out

- I love the buckles <3

- So what’s the next move with the demolition??

- “The past is never lost to us, we carry it with us...”

- THEY GAVE TERRY TIM’S BLAZER WOW MY HEART !!!!!

- “...the way we embrace it has the power to change everything” 😭😭

- Aww the Turner babies and rabbit babies

- Ok that was a good episode 😭

#call the midwife #my commentary #well here i am once again haha #taking on 1965 aka 2020 #yes im late af lol american problems

[dealersofatlanta]

Part 1:Chapter 3 (pt. 1)

(X and Heiress, Tiana will be introduced in the other half of this chapter)

Year: February 3rd 2011 

Omari: age 26

I stood by my car watching Ace come through the gate. “Aye my nigga” Ace said smiling. He had been in jail for 2 years after killing Mamas crazy ass boyfriend. “You been working out nigga?” I asked him. My brother was almost as lean as me. He laughed. “I had nothing better to do man” He told me. “How was Mama?” He asked me. Our mom had been diagnosed with a mental illness, she had to get admitted. I been paying for her care. I shrugged. “Good I guess, she still want nothing to do with us” I told him. He slowly nodded. “Uh you heard anything about J?” He asked me. I shook my head. “Nah, Her aunt reported her as a runaway, she been missing since you left. I tried to ask around and shit but they aint seen her” I told him. He sighed. “Well what’s next?” He asked. I smiled. “Demetri wants you to start your training, he still wants to hand shit over to you”.

 “Yeah girl you already know” My nigga Teej was caking on the phone with some girl he met a week ago. I smacked the back of his head. “Business time nigga get off the phone” I told him. He sucked his teeth in. I pulled up my sweats that was sagging, as we walked into the basement. Over the years Demetri grew as a father figure for me, always watching out for me and taking care of me, he looks out for me like his son along with his son X. We like brothers. Then I met Teej. He wanted in, after he seen my whip. Teej, and K.C and Slim are my main niggas. My riders. X and Ace, Demetri are my family. “Welcome home Ace” Demetri greeted him. Ace smiled and dapped him up. “Thanks for real fam, for putting money on my books and getting me out sooner than later” He said to Demetri. “Only the best for my boys” He told us. “Aight lets get to business” He pulled out a map. Demetri planned a big heist on the Eastside. He wanted there merch, they had been stealing from us for a minute especially since they got more men and crews then us. “Ace ima get you trained by my trainer Jai, he the best assasain on my team, I heard you never miss a shot, I need that on my team. Get set up and meet him upstairs, and Ace here’s the keys to the Lambo I just got you, my men only have the best” He said to him. Ace ran upsairs cheesing. “Aight so O, I need you to get everyone together and Im putting you in charge of the plan, I have a deal I need to set up” He left me downstairs to orchestrate everything. “Teej, you always late for this you need to be on time, K.C get Joe and Nash the heads up to get getaways cars set up. Teej I need you to get the guns and start scoping the place out. Ima get Slim to hack into they cellphone and emails to see when they about to drop the merch. Demetri came back downstairs. “O, let me holla at you right quick” He said. I followed him upstairs. “I need you to drop of some money to my daughter Tiana, she lives on the east side” He told me. I looked at him crazy. “Daughter?” I asked. He nodded. “Yes, I had been unhappy in my marriage and I stepped out on Keish, got my side piece pregnant. She’s 14, I will give the address I just need you to handle that for me. I nodded.

 6 months later: July 6th, 2011

 “Ever since I can remember I been poppin my collar, poppin my collar, poppin collar ever since I can remember I been working these hoes so they better put my money in my hand” I sang along to Three 6 Mafia bumpin as I sat in my truck waiting for my nigga Teej to pull up. “Man where is this motherfucker” I said to myself. I heard music blasting. I seen Teej pull up, he was blasting Rick Ross “Boss”. I sucked my teeth in. I grabbed my glock and put it in my back pocket. I got out my whip, and locked it. “Nigga you late!” I said. He turned off his car and got out. He laughed. “Man sorry, I was getting some play play from my shawty” He told me. I rolled my eyes. “Man fuck love you supposed to focus, we got a big drop, Demetri blowing up my phone” I told him. He pulled up my sweats that was sagging, as we walked to the meet up. We was meeting my mentor and our boss Demetri. He was more like a father figure. I was kicked out at 17 and he raised me like his son along with his son X. Then I met Teej. He wanted in, after he seen my whip, He was selling stolen phones at a Texaco across from Cascade. Demetri had us meet him in Bankhead to meet these niggas to get some more pills. He said niggas been going crazy over these Xanz he recently started selling. He wanted to cop more, but he wanted the best kind, word on the block a nigga named Pharaoh only had them. He was in Zone 1. Demetri ran all of Atlanta, but Westside was our major selling Turf. When we got over to the spot. We see Demetri in the middle of the deal. He looked over at us and waved his hand over. “Yall late” He said sternly. As soon as he looked at us, I could see the nigga that he was meeting with pull out his gun. It felt like slow motion. “Demetri!” I yelled grabbing my gun. The nigga shot multiple shots into Demetris body. I see him drop to the ground. Teej started shooting back, the dealers niggas hopped out the whip and started shooting back. Our crew shot them before they could shoot back. I ran over to Demetri and grabbed his body to safety. I pulled out my phone and called Sharita. The number 1 rule was to never call 911 but to call Sharita. She ran an underground hospital in her basement for our crew only. I was shaking waiting for her to answer. “Mari whats up?” She asked. I was breathing hard trying to keep Demetri with me. “Demetri is shot, its bad Rita. Real bad” I said. “Calm down Omari, Q and Sammy it’s a code 1 boss down!” She yelled. “Stay calm Omari, we are on the way” She hung up. I heard more shots and I see one of our boys hit the ground. “Teeej!” I yelled. Demetri grabbed at my shirt as he was struggling to breathe. “Hold on D, man help is on the way” I told him trying to keep it together. Teej ran up to me holding his chest. He was shot. “He good?” He asked. I shook my head. “You good?” I asked. He sat down against the wall breathing hard. We were in a car garage. I was praying hard, I didnt want to lose my bestfriend and the man I looked up to. My phone rang. It was Sharita. “Omari listen to me, we just listened on the cop scanner and the police are 7minutes away, you got to meet us away from there or you will get arresred and Demetri will die” She said. “Teej, is down too” I told her. “Go Omari!” She yelled. “Come on Teej we got to go”. He got up holding his side. He tried his best to help me. Demetri was going in and out. I got to my car. I tried to get Demetri in the car. Teej dropped to the ground and Demetri went limp. He started closing his eyes. “D! Come on man” I yelled. I heard the police sirens. “Go O!” Teej yelled. I shook my head man. “I can’t leave yall!” I yelled. He shook his head. “Ima be fine, man we both can’t go down, this was my fault anyways”. Sharita was calling again. I looked at Teej. He waved me off. I got in my car and sped off. I met Sharita at the address she sent me. “Wheres D?” He asked. I looked at her with watery eyes. “He didn’t make it” I told her. Q and Sammy sighed deeply.

 4 days later: August 10th, 2011

 The cops arrested Teej, after they took him in to the hospital. Demetri was pronounced dead the scene. The niggas who killed him was dead as well. Teej killed them. 3 of our niggas died. At the funeral everybody showed out. We all loved Demetri even though he was ruthless he was loved. He gave everybody a chance. At the end of the funeral we had a big meeting. “Okay so Demetri had handled everything just in case something like this were to happen” Maxwell his bodyguard and best friend said. He pulled out a letter. “He leaves 10 million placed his son X’s, he wants X to go to college and get a degree and learn the business. He leaves $10,000 for Keisha Demetris Wife, he says he knows that you been cheating on him, and going behind his back. He leaves 10million for his daughter Tiana once she turns 18 who he concieved will still married to Keisha. He says he’s sorry for not telling X sooner, but he needs him to watch over her now. $50,000 to her mother Melissa, who he is sorry he never stepped up sooner. Omari he wants you to take over the business and make smarter decisions. He knows that you will accomplish more than he ever could. Ace he leaves you with the gangs the Ace of Spades. He says you are now the leader and he need you to watch over Zone 4-6 he also leaves you guys 100 million dollars to split evenly. He knows you will create an empire, the house is you guys. He needs you to take care of Ace, X and Tiana. He says yall are family now” Maxwell said. “$10,000 fuck D, he can rot in hell for all I care. I birth that nigga his first son and he do me like this! Trifflin ass mother fucker!” Keisha yelled leaving. X stayed to himself. Tiana was crying in her mother’s arms. I sighed looking at Ace my little brother. “So, we knew who killed D yet?” He asked. I nodded. “Yeah somebody from The Eastbound crew, we will handle that later we got to get Teej out of jail and shit” I told him. He shook his head. “My trigger finger itching” He said. I sighed. “It always is, crazy ass” I said getting up. I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. I made moves without D all the time but now I got to completely shit was weird. “You got this youngblood” Maxwell said to me.

 3 months later: November 5th 2011

 After the funeral, we tried to get Teej out, but Demetri Scott was a well-known drug kingpin. The cops tried for years to catch him, and at the worst possible time the judge we normally had on payroll, was reinstated and a new judge was at Teej’s trial. Teej was sentenced to 10years for not snitching. It was a minor sentence that what they were going to give him, but our lawyer bargained the best he could. Teej, had mentioned how he was seing this shawty or whatever but shit just wasn’t going to work out. I took it upon myself to tell her, so she wouldn’t think he just dipped. I see her walk in from getting off the bus. She seemed like she had a lot going on, but she was very pretty. I got out my car and debated about saying anything. “Man fuck it” I got out my car and jogged up to her. “Hey”.

 Naomi: age 20

I rushed into work. I put my shit up and ran to the time clock to clock in. I worked at Forever 21. I know not the best job, but I just needed the money to make ends meet. I was full time back stock associate. I didn’t have to try too hard to look cute coming into work. I would work 7 days a week and go to school 5 days a week. Even though I’m only 20 years old I plan on being a millionare before 30. I know thats wishfull thinking, but I know God has a big plan for me. I just feel it. I hadn’t heard shit from Teej my boyfriend well ex in a while. I had seen he had gone to jail on the news for killing somebody. I was hurt and confused at first. But I wasn’t in love with him really. Before I could even go sit in the back, I heard someone yell out to me. “Hey” I heard. I turned around to see a tall fine ass guy. “Hey, my name is Omari” He said. I slowly nodded. “Um okay” I said turning back around. “Um my bad, I just seen you walking, and you are very beautiful” He said. I looked down and smiled. “Thanks” I said. “Yeah um, I know this shit is weird, but can I like take you out maybe we can kick it or something?” He asked. I laughed. “I’ll think about it” I told him. He smirked. “Name?” He asked. “Naomi, Naomi Richards” I told him. He pulled out his phone, and it seemed like he was texting something. “Okay and your number sweetheart?” He asked. I laughed. “You smooth as fuck its 678 890 6754” I said. “I get off at 8 tonight” I told him. The fuck he came from I thought. He licked his lips at me. “Ima call you”. He said before leaving. “Who is that?” My friend Valentine asked. “Girl, I don’t know but he can definitely get the business” We started laughing. “Didn’t you just get out of a relationship though?” She asked. I shrugged. “Girl he went to Jail, I’m not riding or dying for nobody I aint in love with, we were just kicking it ya know” She nodded. “Got it”.

 Work was kind of slow, my manager Jessica allowed me to leave early so I can catch my train. My phone vibrated.

  I was kind of nervous to meet up with Omari tonight. Uhh why did I agree, I thought to myself. I was walking down the street almost near my house. I lived in College Park, Atlanta. I was 20 years old, living with my gay cousin Teddy and my Auntie Vi. My parents moved back to Michigan after I graduated from Highschool, I wanted to stay in Atlanta.

 “Baby girl don’t you ever get too comfortable, (comfortable) yeah to left to the left if you want to leave be my guess you can step, feeling irreplaceable listen to Beyoncé’, well okay I’ll put you out on your b-day” I sang along to Lil Wayne- “Comfortable”, while I was doing my hair in the mirror. It was 7:45 and I wasn’t trying to do too much but I wanted to be cute still. “I'm not saying this to shake you up, I'm just saying this to wake you up

It’s all good when we making love

All I ask is don't take our love

For granted, its granted. My love for you, is real.

Baby if you don't love me

Somebody else will, so baby girl

Don't you ever get too comfortable” I continued to sing into my flat iron as I bumped my bangs. “Well somebody is happy” Teddy said. I smiled. “I got like this date tonight” I told him. He smirked. “Ooh with who?” he said sitting on my bed. I shrugged. “This guy I met at work today named Omari” I said spraying my Sweet Pea perfume from Bath and Body Works. “No last name? Girl we need a last name to find his Facebook” He said. I groaned. “Dang I know, to make sure he aint got no baby mama drama, no bitch. I mean he has a car” I told Teddy. “Ehh, but what kind of car? I’m tired of these bummy niggas. I mean we both aint got no car either but if me and my nigga ain’t got no car, oh helll nah” He said. I started laughing. “Shut the fuck up, but you right though”. He pointed at me. “Imagine being cold cause yall both walking, bitch no mam” I was laughing hard as hell. My cousin always had me dying. My phone rang. I see it was Omari. “Hello?” I answered. “What up shawty, I’m outside” He said. I smiled. “Okay, I’ll be out shortly” I told him. I hung up the phone. “Okay, I’m gone Teddy Bear” I said to him. He smirked. “You getting some dick tonight?” He asked. I shrugged. “Mmm I got class in the morning so maybe” I said smirking. I rushed outside so Omari wouldn’t have to wait too long. I walked up my drive way and got in his car. He drove a 2012 Lexus. He must be rich or something. I thought. “Hey beautiful” He said smiling at me. “You must have done this before this can’t be your first time” Drakes “The Real Her” softly played as I was putting on my seatbelt. He had his iPhone on the aux. “I’m shocked, a nigga that bumps Drake” I said to him. He smiled. “Yeah man, he be doing the damn thing” He said. I laughed a little a nodded. “I’m glad actually, I just got the CD, this is best one yet” I said. We went to Camp Creek to eat Chipotle. It was cool outside, it was about to be fall so we wasn’t cold or too hot, so we decided to sit outside alone to talk and eat. “Favorite Movie?” I asked. He started to think hard. “Man, I don’t know that’s tough, I’d have to say Juice” He said. I smiled. “Juice why Juice?” I asked curious. He shrugged. “Shit dope, Tupac went hard on that one” He told me. I smiled. “Yeah, I agree” I said. “Mmm let me guess your favorite movie is love & basketball?” He said. I laughed. “Okay the movie was good but no I have so many it’s hard to pick” I told him. “I can agree with that as well, so tell me about yourself, how old are you?” He said looking at me seriously. “I’m 20, I’m in school for Fashion and Design, I live with my Aunt and my cousin Teddy he’s like my best friend, I of course work at Forever 21, I work full time and go to school full time this is the first time I been out in a while actually” I said to him. He nodded smiling. “Dang 20, I’m old then. I’m 26, I am a business man. I have a brother named Ace, my dad died when I was 7, my mom is in a mental facility right now” He told me slightly smiling. I nodded slowly. “Wow, um is she okay?” I asked. He softly smiled. “Um last I heard she was fine” He said. I nodded. “You ever been to Star Night?” He asked. I looked at him crazy. “It’s this place that I know downtown where you can ride this 4D space ship ride for up to 3hrs, it’s a little pricey but whatever, it’s like you’re really in outer space, they close @12am” He said. I smiled. “I’m down” we got up and threw our food away. “You sure now, you know you got class?” He said playfully. I nodded. “Yes, I’m sure” I said. He grabbed my hand. We got in the car and listened to some more Drake. “Word on road is that clique about to blow, you aint got to run and tell nobody they already know, we’ve been living on the high, they’ve been talking on the low, but it’s cool know you heard it all before, that’s why I ask you how you mean, how you mean what you heard about the team?” We rapped together in the car. He had his hand on my thigh swerving through traffic. He was fine as hell, making me feel some type of a way. He had the mentality of a boss. I liked that. We pulled up the place, it was empty as hell. “Um is it closed?” I asked. He smiled and shook his head. “For everybody else but not for us” He told me. He grabbed my hand again. He banged on the glass door of the facility. The door opened revealing some nerdy guy. “Wazzam fam” He said dapping the guy up. “Aye this my patna, Slim he works here, and he works for me” He said. I smiled. “Hi, I’m Naomi” I said. He gave me a head nod. “Wazzam”. We walked inside. I could tell it was a Nasa Muesum, something of the sort. We walked into a big room with a space ship looking thing. Slim gave us some our 4D glasses. “Ima give you the keys O, you know how to turn it off” He threw him the keys. Omari dapped him up. “Aight be safe fam”. Omari grabbed my hand as we walked into the mock space ship. He pressed a button, and quickly sat down. “Seatbelts baby girl” He told me. I buckled myself in. It felt like we were lifting off like a plane. I felt turbulence and shit. “Woah what the fuck” I said holding on to Omari. 10 minutes later a sign popped up signaling we can take off our seatbelts. He pulled out his phone and started playing Drake again. He leaned over me slowly and undid my seatbelt. He licked his lips looking at me. I instantly was turned on more than I was before. “Uh um what type of business do you do? Is this your business?” I asked him. He laughed a little. “I will eventually tell you, in due time if you want to stick around” He said. I grabbed his chin closer to me and we started making out. This nigga had me in a fake space ship, listening to Drake. Yeah he can get the draws. He stopped the kiss and grabbed my hand and bought me to the back of the ship. He had to have planned this because it was a pallet on the ground with Rellos and Wine, and snacks. “You smoke?” He asked. I nodded. “Duh” I said laughing. We talked for an hour smoking and drinking. “You got any other men you got lined up?” He asked me. I shook my head. “I was talking to one nigga but he in jail, I guess. We wasn’t serious but I was feeling him” I said smoking my blunt. “You feeling me?” He asked. I shrugged. “You aight” I said smiling. He drunk henny from the bottle and put it down. He started kissing me again. I normally don’t have sex on the first night but oh well.

  Jade: age 19

 I inhaled the blunt, as I sat and watched Davis play cards. “Yooooo uno my nigga! Uno!” He yelled. He looked over at me. “Baby go fix me a drink” He said. I looked at him high as fuck. “What?” I asked. “I said fix me a got damn drink” He said sternly. I got up and went over to the liquor table. I put his ice in his cup and bored him some grey goose. I stumbled from being drunk, and high. I passed him his drink. He smacked my ass. “Thanks” He said smiling. “It’s a shame you keep her all to yourself” His friend Deon said shaking his head. “Cause Im the only man that been up in there and I want to keep it like that” He said. His friend shook his head. “She got a baby face, nigga would pay high price for her, niggas like me” Deon said. Davis looked over at me. “She been making me a lot of money dancing though, aint that right baby” He said to me. I nodded slowly. Deon put a stack on the table. “$1500, one hour?” He asked. I got up feeling sick, I went towards the back. “Aye, where you going?” He asked me. “The bathroom” I stumbled. He nodded. I went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I had been with Davis since I was 16, I fell for his charm, his money. I gave him my virginity and everything. He bought me anything I wanted. He then started getting me into pills, smoking weed, and selling me to men to dance for, sometimes hitting me if I don’t listen. Maybe this is love. I don’t know. I got myself together looking at the makeup I put under my eye. Davis had seen me smiling at the waiter earlier today when we went out to eat and punched me in my face. I heard banging on the bathroom door. “Baby come on out” I slowly opened the door. He grabbed my face softly and kissed me. “You know we been short on money so I need you to just fuck Deon for this 1500 real quick” He told me. I shook my head. “Noo!” I yelled. He sighed. “Go in the room and get undressed it’s just an hour” He said pleading with me. “I love you, I need this please Baby” He said. I nodded slowly. He gave me some pills. “It’s X” He told me handing me some liquor to chase it down. I slowly went to the room to get undressed. I cried silently to myself. I heard a knock at the door and quickly wiped my face. “Come in” I said. I see Deon come in then another guy I never seen. I shielded my body. “Um why is he in here?” I asked. Deon smiled. “My homie here wanted to join in” He said. I shook my head. “No, Davis!” I yelled. Deon smiled. “Davis went out for a while, we paid 3000 for you pretty girl” He and his friend started to get undressed I tried to keep my tears in.

 I laid in bed feeling dirty. After Deon and his friend left. I got up feeling crazy as fuck, high and geeking from the pill and being drunk. I got in the shower and cried to myself sitting under the shower faucet. “I heard the bathroom door slam. I jumped up. “Get out now!” He yelled. I quickly got up and turned off the water. I tried to grab my towel, but he snatched it from me. He held a belt in his hand. “Davis, what’s wrong?” I asked shaking. “You fucked two niggas?” He asked me. I nodded. “They said they paid you” I said. “But did you get my permission?” He asked. I shook my head. He came at me and grabbed my hair. “You aint nothing but a hoe, I can’t marry no hoe” He said. He unraveled his belt. “Davis, Im sorry” I said crying.

  3 weeks later: December 14th 2011

  Ace: age 20

 Since Demetri died, I been taking over things for O, developing my crew for my terf. Training hard every day, I felt good everybody knew not to fuck with me on the eastside. “Hustle, Hustle, Hustle Hard, Hustle Hustle, Hustle Hard closed mouths don’t get fed on this boulevard” I rapped riding around in my Lambo. I pulled up at my friend Deon bachelor party “Yoooo Ace what up blood?” He said dapping me up. “What up fam” I met Deon when I was in juvie. “This your crib nigga?” I asked. He nodded. “Yeah made a come up” He said. I smiled. “Aye I aint mad at ya bruh”. He smiled. “Well I got entertainment soon, for the niggas in my ball room” He said. I nodded and started to walk around the party, checking my surroundings. “Okay fellas we have a nice sexy treat for you in the ballroom” Deon said grabbing the mic from the DJ. I followed the niggas into the ballroom. It was dark, and a pole was set up. “Fellas get your money out and give it up for Sweet Caramel!” The DJ yelled. A spotlight was on the stage, and the music started. A girl with all white lingerie on came out. “This is for you, you my #1, spotlight big stage 50,000 fans screaming in a rage” Usher “Superstar” played. I was mesmerized by her dancing. “I’ll be groupie baby, cause you are my superstar, and as your number one fan, give me your autograph sign it right here on my heart” The song played. Niggas was whistling throwing dollars. She slid down the pole facing the crowd. I see her face, she looked very familiar. I got up closer towards the stage. “Now you know I how feel, your truly special, your love is legendary to me”. I could see her face clearly. Jade? I thought. Jade? My Jade? My heart dropped as she stood up there naked as fuck. I could feel my face getting hot, I wanted to kill all the niggas in here drooling over her and throwing money at her, she was better than this. She slowly crawled over towards me seductively. Our eyes met each other’s as the song ended. I knew instantly she knew who I was. “Damnnn give it up for Sweet Caramel” All the niggas cheered. She grabbed the money looking at me and she walked off the stage. “Now give it up for Honey Glaze, the baddest” He yelled as “Aint no way around it” By Future played. Deon came up to me. “How you are liking my mini strip club?” He asked. I forced a smile. “It’s dope, can we get private dances?” I asked. He smiled and nodded. “Yeah, ask my nigga Davis over there he takes all the payment for the girls” He told me. I walked over to this clown ass looking dude Davis standing by some big dudes by a room with a velvet rope. “Aye what up Patna, how much for shawty Carmel?” I asked. “500 for a dance, $2000 to fuck” He said. I clenched my jaw “To fuck?” I asked. He nodded. “Yeah” He said. I pulled out $500. “You can pick your song” he told me. He moved the rope and let me through. I went to the iPod that was hooked the speaker. I see a song I wanted to listen to, it was a song I felt was right. I sat in a room with hookah and liquor. She came out as the song played. She started moving to the beat. “Hey there pretty girl, you know exactly what got, I don’t blame you at all, you can’t resist it, especially when the lights so bright, and the money so right” Drake HoustAlantaVegas played. She danced in my lap. “Why are you doing this?” I asked in her ear. She ignored me and kept dancing. “And she danced to this song, and she dance to this sooong” Drake sang. “I been looking for you since I got out” I said to her. She slowly grinded on me. “You left me” She simply said. I put my hands on her hips as she moved. She slowly moved my hands. “You don’t have to do this J, I told you I would always make sure you straight” I said. “She just stuck in HoustAtlantaVegas” The song slowly ended. “Times up” She said before leaving. If she thought I was leaving her here she got me fucked up. “Times up player” Davis said. I walked out seeing 3 niggas was paying in bands. “Yall all trying to fuck?” Davis asked. The niggas nodded. “Which one?” He asked. “Carmel” One of them said. Davis nodded. “Aight”. I walked out the house and went to the car and grabbed one gun and put it in my pants in the back then I grabbed my silencer, I closed my trunk. I pulled out my trap phone. “O, I need back up” I said. “What the fuck you got yourself into Ace?” He asked. “Long story, I need back up and cleanup” I said. He sighed. “Aight send location”. I walked back into the house. I was checking how many men I had take out. Security was blocking the door still. I seen that Davis nigga icing his hand. “You good nigga? I asked. He nodded. “Yeah man just got to keep bitches in check ya feel me?” He asked. I slowly nodded. “Yeah, I want another Dance with shawty” I said. He shook his head. “She upstairs with 3 niggas right now it might be a minute” He said. I nodded. I went over to the stair case, everybody was too busy to notice me. I got upstairs and heard niggas laughing. I tried to open the door, but it was locked. I knocked on the door. “We busy in here” I heard a nigga say. I knocked again. The door swung open. “Man, the fuck you want?” He asked. I pulled out my silencer and shot him in the head. I walked in and seen Jade pleading with the men as one of them is pinning her down. I shot them both. She jumped up crying. She looked at me, I seen she had a bloody nose. “I wasn’t bout to leave here without you” I told her. She stared at me in shock. I went through the drawers in the room, I found some basketball shorts and a big t-shirt. “Put these clothes on” I told her. She quickly put them on. I grabbed her face and looked over her face. “That nigga Davis did this?” He asked. She looked at me with tears and nodded. I grabbed her hand as we walked downstairs. “Yo where you going with my girl?” Davis asked talking to Deon by the stair case. “We leaving” I simply said. He shook his head. “You not leaving here with my girl nigga” He said. “Aye nigga, you might want to chill” Deon said to Davis. “Man I aint scared of him”. I pulled my gun back out, and I shot him in the leg. “Shit!” He yelled. “You been selling your girl, hitting your girl” I said to him shooting him again in his dick. “I’m sorry! Please!” He yelled. “Put your hands up!” I yelled at him. He was screaming on the ground. “Man fuck this you loud as hell” I said shooting him in the head. Deon jumped back. I shot security coming around the corner with their guns. “Yo chill Ace” Deon said. “He payed to run a train on me” Jade said. I looked at her. “Who?” I asked. She pointed at Deon. “Look I’m sorry, she just a bitch man, she aint worth it” He said to me. “You were in juvie with me, you was my homie, so you remember how I told you I had a shawty back home right?” I asked. He nodded. “Some girl named J something” He asked. “Jade” I told him. “Say hey to Jade” I told him. He looked at both of us. “Fuck, man I’m sorry”. I nodded. “Me too” I shot him in the head. Thank God for the DJ blasting music. I grabbed Jade and we quickly ran to my car. I threw my guns in my trunk under the mat and got in the car and sped off. “What was that Ace, what the fuck!” She yelled. “Jade a lot had changed since we last seen each other” I told her, speeding through 285.

 We pulled up at a condo. “What you need from here?” I asked her. I broke into the Condo. She ran upstairs. I looked around and seen pictures of Jade and that nigga Davis. She ran back downstairs with a book bag. “You got what you needed?” I asked. She nodded. “I just needed my journals and my cds” She simply said. We quickly went back to the car and headed to my place. We was silent the whole ride. We when pulled up at my house, she looked at the house then me. “You live here?” She asked. I nodded. “Yeah” I said. She followed me inside. “You have 3 cars?” She asked. I laughed a little. “Yeah” I said. She sat down on the couch admiring my crib. I sat across from her. She looked at me as she played with her hands. “I thought you got locked up?” She asked. I nodded. “I did, I got out earlier this year. I been working with O and shit” I said. She slowly nodded. “Why were you with that nigga Jade?” I asked. “When you got arrested, you left me. Rodney tried to rape me, my aunt caught him and she tried to fight me so I left. I had no where to go, so Davis picked me up. I thought he was my knight and shinning armor or some shit, but he just was like a pimp and I was his hoe” She said wiping her face. I looked down. “I’m sorry for leaving, my mama man she was getting beat by Greg. I just wanted to save her but I should’ve saved you instead” I told her.  She started laughing.  “You did though” She said. I smiled. “I’m sorry you had to see that side of me, but this is my job I kill people I sell drugs I make money” I told her. She shrugged. “I’m not judging you Ace” She said looking at me. She got off the couch and came over to me. I looked at her. She leaned in, and we started kissing. I wasn’t used to feeling this type of way about Jade. I had feelings for her but, I couldn’t figure out what they were until I was in jail and she was all I thought about. “I don’t want you to think I’m trying to fuck or take advantage of you” I said. She shook her head. “Ace, I always been in love with you. I always wanted to kiss you” She simply said. I shook my head. “I don’t know man” I told her. She sighed. “I ain’t never felt this way about anybody it’s scary to me J, just give me time” I told her she nodded. I went to my liquor cabinet and took a shot. I kept thinking about her kissing me, and dancing on me. Man Fuck it. I walked back into the living room and kissed her back.

Supporting Characters:

Teej: (Dave East)

Slim: Romeo Miller

K.C: Lil Durk