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catindabag · 4 months

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TBOSAS on Crack short take (70)

*They’re our totally real, not fake secret babies!*

Coryo: Hey, Fest, have you seen Sejanus? He has been missing since I told him to get some paper towels for art class.

Festus: Did you check inside Dean Highbottom’s broom closet?

Coryo: Yeah, but he wasn’t there.

Festus: Under the floorboards?

Coryo: Still not there.

Festus: Inside your locker?

Coryo: He’s claustrophobic.

Festus: The food pantry?

Coryo: No, not yet, but-

Sejanus: *runs in crying* My love! My love, my Snow Angel, hug me!😭

Festus: Found him.

Coryo: Thanks.

Felix: Hey, Sej, can I ask for a gumdrop? I need some sugar to keep me awake for our next class.

Sejanus: Not now, Class Pres! I’m sad! I need my Coryo to give me my daily hug and kiss!

Felix: Okay.☹️

Coryo: Babe, where have you been?! I was worried sick about you getting stuck inside a dusty broom closet again!

Sejanus: *hugs Coryo* Urban told me that Jasper told him that Dennis told her that Diana told him that-

Coryo: Sejanus, my love, slow down! I don’t understand what you’re saying!

Sejanus: Professor Demigloss is going to give us another surprise quiz about the Districts again!

Coryo: Right now, right now?!

Sejanus: Yeah!😭

Felix: Is that even allowed?!

Livia: Surprise quiz my ass!

Iphigenia: Are we in trouble?

Hilarius: Should I call the National Security or something?

Apollo: Please be fake news! Please be fake news!😣🙏

Gaius: Lol. Demi-Dementia-Gloss really is losing his mind.

Iphigenia: Breen, that’s mean.

Gaius: But was I lying?

Iphigenia: No. You’re right.😔

Clemensia: Whatever. I’m reviewing.

Coryo: Babe, are you 100 percent sure about what you’ve heard from Urban?

Sejanus: Stupid Ban Ban doesn’t know how to lie when he’s super angry about something. Anderson also told me about it.

Felix: Where’s Andie anyway?

Sejanus: He’s currently crawling in a vent with his stolen goods.

Coryo: But you do know that Professor Demigloss has a severe case of dementia, right?

Sejanus: I wish I wasn’t, my love! But Andie accidentally overheard the old man mumbling to himself and Mr. Fluffy Feet that he’ll give our class a surprise quiz today!

Festus: Why?! Why us?! What did we do to deserve this?!

Sejanus: We didn’t attend his birthday party last week!

Festus: We were never invited to his stupid party in the first place!

Sejanus: I know!😭

Felix: I was, but I didn’t go.

Coryo: Class Pres, you’re a Ravinstill. You’re always invited.

Felix: I know.😔

Apollo: Coryo, weren’t you invited to his birthday party as well?

Coryo: Yes, I was, but Sejanus and I were too busy-

Sejanus: F*cking. We were too busy kissing and fu-

Clemensia: We know, Plinth! You don’t have to repeat yourself.

Palmyra: How old is Mr. Glossy anyway?

Sejanus: A hundred? I’m not sure.

Gaius: Who’s Mr. Fluffy Feet?

Apollo: Oh, that’s just Demi Dementia’s precious teddy bear.

Gaius: That’s kinda cute.

Apollo: It’s a spy cam teddy bear.

Gaius: Nevermind. That’s creepy.

Hilarius: My father has one too!

Felix: We know, Hilari. We know.

Hilarius: And my mother also bought a hundred of-

Clemensia: We don’t want to know about what your freaky mother bought last week, Hilari!

Coryo: How did Andie even manage to eavesdrop on that mumbling old man?

Sejanus: He was hiding behind the curtains.

Coryo: Let me guess, he was trying to steal the professor’s car keys again.

Sejanus: And wallet.

Festus: Nice! Now we can buy ice cream and popcorn for our weekly movie night!

Clemensia: You can’t spend our professor’s money, Creed! You don’t have the right!

Festus: It’s our money now.

Clemensia: No, it’s not!

Festus: Clemmie, according to the laws of ✨finders keepers✨-

Clemensia: That’s not a real law!

Festus: It’s our money!

Iphigenia: Free money!

Hilarius: I love money.

Coryo: I need money.

Sejanus: By the way, Andie also stole Mr. Fluffy Feet before he escaped through the vents.

Felix: Just because?

Sejanus: just because he can.

Coryo: Of course he did.

Palmyra: Good job, Anderson!☺️

Gaius: That’s great! Now we have our very own spy cam teddy bear!

Hilarius: Yo, we should hide it inside Highbottom’s office!

Gaius: Yeah! Let’s do it!

Clemensia: That’s illegal!

Hilarius: What do you mean by illegal? My crazy mother does it all the time.

Clemensia: Your mother is a freak!

Hilarius: My father does it too!

Clemensia: Your creepy old man should be in jail right now!

Hilarius: But-

Clemensia: No! Not another word from you, Heavensbee!

Hilarius: Hilari is sad now.😢

Clemensia: Cry harder!

Gaius: Then we shall hide it inside Professor Click’s car instead.

Clemensia: That’s still a crime!

Gaius: Then we shall hide it inside Monster Gaul’s lab!

Coryo: That’s a good idea.

Sejanus: I concur! Let’s do it.

Clemensia: Ugh. This is why I’m the only “normal” person in this group.

Festus: But seriously?! A surprise quiz before lunch?!

Coryo: Maybe it’s going to be super easy? Professor Demigloss did taught us about the Districts and their respective industries before.

Sejanus: And I’m from District 2!😀

Clemensia: Obviously.🙄

Festus: But I’m not ready! I haven’t even studied!

Apollo: Bestie, you don’t study.

Festus: Sometimes! Well, once or twice a month. I’m not sure.

Felix: Really?😒

Festus: Don’t judge me! My pet rats are my only study buddies at home!

Coryo: What is District 4’s major industry?

Festus: Catfishing. Duh.

Coryo: Right. We’re doomed.

Festus: Then ask me another question!

Coryo: Fine. What’s District 12’s major industry?

Festus: Pole dancing!

Clemensia: It’s coal mining, you fool!

Felix: You’re killing us, Creed. You’re really killing us.😩

Festus: I’m doing my best!

Clemensia: Your so called “best” is currently lying dead in the gutter!

Festus: Why are you so mean to poor Festus Creed today?! What did I do?!😭

Coryo: What’s the main export of District 1?

Festus: Chocolate coins!

Felix: You’re hopeless.😔

Festus: Then give me something obvious!

Sejanus: Here’s an easy one! What is District 2 known for?

Festus: Throwing bread to the dead!

Clemensia: That’s incorrect-

Sejanus: That’s right! How did you know, bro?

Festus: Coryo told me.

Coryo: I did.

Sejanus: My Snow Bae is the best and the brightest!😍

Coryo: Of course I am.

Clemensia: I’m surrounded by f*ckin’ idiots.

Felix: Am I-

Clemensia: Yes, Class Pres. Yes, you are.

Felix: *starts crying* Somebody give me a tissue! I’m allergic to harsh criticism!😭

Prof.Demigloss: *walks in* Good morning, class!

Everyone: *stands up* Good morning, Professor Demigloss!

Prof.Demigloss: I have a great surprise for you brats today!😊

Felix: Is it kleenex?

Palmyra: Are you pregnant?

Clemensia: Monty, please stop saying such nonsense.

Palmyra: Are we having a super secret baby shower?😀

Coryo: No, we’re not.

Palmyra: Oh, Panem! Coryo, don’t tell me!

Coryo: Tell you what?

Palmyra: Are you pregnant with Strabo Plinth’s baby right now?!

Coryo: Pregnant with who?!

Palymra: *suddenly touches Coryo’s stomach* Oh, Snowy, I’m so happy for you! You’re pregnant!

Festus: Congratulations, bro.

Gaius: Yey! A new baby!

Palmyra: Strabo’s baby.☺️

Sejanus: What the heck, Monty! What is wrong with you?! My Coryo, my

love, my Snow Angel is currently pregnant with my baby!

Palmyra: Highbottom’s baby?

Sejanus: My baby!

Coryo: Sej, Babe, I’m not-

Sejanus: *touches Coryo’s stomach as well* Oh, Coryo, my love, this is our baby, right?! Our baby!😫

Coryo: Why are we suddenly talking about me being pregnant?! I’m too poor to be pregnant right now!

Hilarius: Yeah! What if I’m the one who’s pregnant with Mr. Plinth’s secret baby?! What now?!

Coryo: Shut up, Hilari! You’re not pregnant!

Hilarius: Fine! We’re both pregnant with Strabo Plinth’s secret baby!

Coryo: What?! I don’t want to share a baby daddy with you!

Hilarius: Why not? It’s going to be fun for the whole family.

Coryo: Because Sejanus is my baby daddy, you fool!

Sejanus: So is my Snow Bae really pregnant with my baby?😍

Coryo: I’m not pregnant!

Hilarius: We’re both pregnant.

Gaius: Does that mean that Strabo Plinth will be forced to pay child support to both homeless Hilari, poor Coryo, and their “totally real, not fake” secret babies?

Coryo: Yes, but I’m not pregnant!

Apollo: Not yet.

Coryo: Apollo!

Apollo: I’m just telling the truth.

Prof.Demigloss: Well, congratulations on your first pregnancy, Mr. Snow. I hope to see you and your husband holding your secret baby soon.😊

Coryo: I’m not- F*ck it. Whatever. I’m pregnant now.

Sejanus: 23 more to go!🥳

Prof.Demigloss: Good for you, Mr. Plinth. May your bloodline never end. However, we will be having a surprise quiz today. So surprise!🥳

Hilarius: Can I just claim to be pregnant with Strabo Plinth’s baby? I need some fast cash right now.

Sejanus: Sure. Go ahead. I don’t care. Welcome to the family.

Coryo: Hilari, you’re a virgin.

Hilarius: So?

Prof.Demigloss: Ah! A miracle! Congratulations on your first pregnancy as well, Mr. Heavensbee.

Hilarius: A miracle indeed!

Festus: Sir, I have a question!

Prof.Demigloss: Who are you again?

Festus: I’m Festus Creed and I’m not pregnant.

Prof.Demigloss: Ah! The professional dumpster diver!

Festus: That’s correct!

Prof.Demigloss: So what’s your question, Mr. Creed?

Festus: What is District 12’s major industry?

Prof.Demigloss: Pole dancing.

Coryo: What the heck?!

Festus: I knew it!

Prof.Demigloss: Great! Let’s begin!

Gaius: Wait! I have a question too!

Prof.Demigloss: Ah! The zoo keeper!

Gaius: Sir, what is District 4 known for?

Prof.Demigloss: Catfishing.

Clemensia: I’m going home.

Coryo: Clemmie, don’t leave!

Clemensia: Congratulations on your first pregnancy, Bestie.

Coryo: Thanks.

Clemensia: But I’m going home!

Coryo: Clemmie, stay! I’m pregnant!

Hilarius: We’re both pregnant!

Sejanus: Soon, my love. Soon.😍

Felix: But what if I’m the one who’s pregnant?!😭

Livia: Aren’t you a virgin too?

Felix: Oh, Panem, help me! I’m a virgin, 17, and pregnant!😩

Androcles: *suddenly falls out of the vents* Yo, Felix, is it mine?

*Meanwhile, in Highbottom’s office*

Prof.Sickle: Hey, Cassy.

Drunk!Casca: What?

Prof.Sickle: I heard that Mr. Snow is currently pregnant with Mr. Plinth’s baby.

Drunk!Casca: My gorgeous Crassus Xanthos Snow is pregnant with my baby?! That’s great! That’s wonderful! I’m telling Capitol News!

Prof.Sickle: I’m just kidding-

Drunk!Casca: *is on the phone with Lucky Flickerman* Hello?! Is this Capitol News?! Yes, this is Dean Highbottom speaking. No, I’m not drunk. My darling Crassus and I are having a baby! A real baby! Yes, it’s mine- what do you mean by delusional? I’m not delusional!😫

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cc-2020 · 3 years

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Me, vibing in the #Dead Palpatine tag on ao3:

#fu cking hilarious #sheev palpatine #dead palpatine #order 66 #star wars #ao3

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xiaophobic · 2 years

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atlas do you actually like gorou or not because i’ve been trying to figure it out and i’m having a hard time... /hj (pls your gorou posts are so funny why are you bullying him like this akshdjfh)

I LOVE HIM SO DEARLY HE IS MY LITTLE WOOF WOOF /SRS HE IS JUST SO SERIOUS AND ITS FUNNY TO ME SO I MAKE FUN OF HIM FOR BEING A DOG

#every time gorou is brought up you can assure i am going to make fun of him for being a lil dog #one day i will write him serious but he is just so funny and pictures of dog are so FU CKING HILARIOUS #THERE ARE TEARS IN MY EYES #atlas.asks #atlas.moots

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chasing-posts · 2 years

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So I finished Backwarder, and I know for this episode I could talk about the backstory, and the glimpse into Master Fu's old life. Also the older character who was introduced and themes of love.... but honestly...

The main thing that stood out to me this entire episode... was Hawkmoth using a public, train washroom...as his layer...to akumatized some random old lady and holding up the entire train as he...fakes this bathroom emergency to be hawkmoth in public and it's just...

ITS HAWKMOTH ON THE SHITTER FOR 20 WHOLE MINUTES. And he's doing his usual thing. Monologuing, talking about his evil plans, being all "oo wash bwahaha" and ...he's in a public washroom! This is the closest he's ever been to being caught. And his son knocking on the door, the panicked "occupied" his SON CHAT NOIR TRANSFORMING RIGHT BESIDE HIM IN THE OTHER STALL...

It's just...really funny. I keep imagining people hearing him on the other end and trying to contribute it to his... "stomach ache/ constipation" and just...this elaborate, sneaky, well known billionaire coming out of his house for the first time in months... having to fake a shit and akumatized people in a public bathroom!!!

IS NO ONE ELSE SEEING HOW HILARIOUS THIS WAS?!?!

Oh and Marinette messing up the letter was super predictable. We all knew it was going to happen. It was inevitable... also her hatred of Kagami for just existing his disgusting. She woke up all her friends to rant at them just because Adrian was going off with another girl for a weekend.

If there is one aspect of Marinette's character I LOATHE, it's her jealousy and sabotaging nature towards any girl that so much as glances in Adrian's directions. It takes her out of being "relatable and shy girl with crush" to "yandere, stalker who will ruin you if you so much at glance at this boy she likes, who does not even know she's interested."

It's truly messed up. And after season 2's ending, with her giving him a kiss on the cheek, you think we would have been way past this.

#backwarder #master fu #is a coward #in every sense of the word #miraculous les aventures de ladybug et chat noir #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupen chang #adrien agreste #gabriel agreste #honestly #hawkmoth was f*cking hilarious #hawkmoth on the shitter #pfft #kagami tsurugi #she is a queen #she deserves respect

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jhinnyjaxy · 6 years

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I’m bouncing back and forth between drawing some Cute Jhax and my dumb sketches of an equally dumb DW/LoL crossover au thing that cracks me up for some reason.

Vote here which one u wanna see.

#{The Person}#sorry im way weird but its fu cking hilarious imo

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cutiepisenpai · 4 years

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Kinktober 2020 Day 6

Spencer Reid X F!Reader (2nd person POV)

Warnings: Smut of course, nipple play, vaginal fingering, unprotected vaginal sex.

The team doesn’t have a current case and all paperwork is caught up so it has been a day of fun and games at the BAU until there was more work to do. You had a great idea to keep yourself occupied in the meantime. You had taken a series of sexy phones and saved them for an occasion just like this one. The team was in the BAU room playing a game of poker and you had already lost so you sent a photo of yourself in a lacy bra along with a text reading (You turn me on like no one else ever has) to Spencer from across the table. You watch as he opens his phones hearing the ding of his notification and immediately he blushes a deep shade of red placing the phone face down on the table. You laugh to yourself as the two of you make eye contact and he glares at you. You wait a few more minutes before sending another. This one is the matching panties, a mirror shot with the text (I love it when you kiss me...down there). This time when the phone dings he takes a deep breath looking up to you before opening the phone and you see as his breath hitches. You look back down to your phone but you can feel the daggers he is staring at you. Now that you’ve got his attention you send continuous message back to back; A photo of yourself in a silk nightie laying on your back nipples perky (I don’t like sitting here at work when I can could be home doing filthy things with you), Photo taken from a high angle you’re on your knees (I had a very naughty dream about you last night and it has been replaying in my mind all morning), the last photo was you in an open robe with nothing underneath (I know you’ve been thinking about me all day… Do you want to stop thinking and start doing?”). The team is now suspicious of all the messages Spencer is receiving and starts to question him and you use this time to sneak out of the room and go sit and wait in one of the empty offices. You undo the top buttons on your blouse showing sufficient cleavage and sit back across the empty desk. It’s not long before Spencer is walking through the door with a deep scowl on his face. “Did you think that was funny?” He asks. “Not at all. It was hilarious, and if it bothered you that much you could have just sent a message back for me to stop. But I think you were enjoying it.” “You shouldn’t be sending those types of messages at work.” He growls. “We aren’t really working, we are not on a case, there’s no paperwork to do. I think you’re just mad you lost at poker.” He steps forward and places a hand between your knees running his hands up your thighs beneath your skirt. “Spread your legs” you do as he says, “You’re already this wet just from the thought of what I would do to you.” He says stroking you over your panties. You take a deep breath in an attempt to keep your composer. “Oh honey I have been fantasizing about you all morning, thinking of all the ways I wish you would fuck me if we weren’t here at work.” “Tell me” “Tell you?” You ask, “Yes, tell me what you were fantasizing about.” “ I thought of you bending me over and fucking me over a desk.” You say tapping the wood desk suggestively. He leans down kissing over your exposed chest undoing the rest of the button on your blouse. With your shirt completely undone Spencer flings it across the room, reaching behind you he undoes your bra with ease and it disappears into the unknown as well. Spencer’s lips come back down to your chest kissing down reaching your nipple and he licks over the nub before taking it into his mouth sucking. His hand makes its ways back to your panties teasing you through the fabric, when his fingers slip under the fabric prodding at your entrance you moan loudly and you can feel him smirk against your skin. He continues his torturous teasing switches between your breasts, adding another finger bringing you to your brink before pulling both of his hands and his mouth from you. He smirks down at the desperate mess you have become. “Get down, pull your skirt up, and bend over.” Spencer says. Stepping back to undo his own parts, you do as he says. Once you are bent over the desk Spencer pulls down your panties your knees, he rubs his cock against your slick folds both groaning at the feeling as he slides the head in. He stops right there not pushing further in yet, “Tell me what you want.” He says and you grumble under your breath. “Tell me or I’ll stop.” “Pl..ease.” You whine. “Please what.” “You’re a fu..cking pain in… the as..ass Spencer.” “I mean I can’t say I haven’t thought about that but I don’t think this is the right place to try something that new.” He mocks you. “Ugh Spencer! Please just fuck me! Please!” You cry out and Spencer finally sinks all the way in but he doesn’t stay there long. Pulling nearly all the way out before immediately slamming back into you. He sets a brutal pace fucking you hard and fast, the room is filled with the sounds of skin slapping you loud moans and Spencer's equally loud groans. His fingers make their way to your clits rubbing feverishly and soon you are reaching your climax screaming loudly as you come. Spencer pulls out coming across your ass. You stay there trying to hold your tired body up. The two of you get cleaned up and fix your clothes and when you leave the office you run into Rossi and he knowingly smirks into his mug of coffee, “Word of advice kids. None of these rooms are sound proof and voices tend to carry.” He says walking away leaving you two flustered and embarrassed.

Taglist:

@yokaimoon @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @groovygoob @mac99martin

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #Smut #kinktober #kinktober 2020 #reader insert #Female reader #x reader #second person pov

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yarrowleef · 3 years

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Daffodil, Laurel, Lily, Sunflower, Violet, and Wisteria? Also Begonia but I'd like to know your favorites of the old covers and the newer/reprint covers. And the Russian Warrior Cat covers too! Some of their art is quite pretty.

laurel, violet and sunflower answered previously

Daffodil: When did you first start reading the series?

Start of third grade when I was 8 years old, which I believe was 2007!! .......so like literally most of my life I have given to these cursed cat books. I remember The Sight was the most recent release. It was the first real book series I ever read, and I think I went through the first 2 series within a couple months.

Prior to that I just read stand-alone books and I only read because I wanted to win “accelerated reader” points....i couldn’t do sports, so reading was the only thing I could win at AND I DID WIN. but warriors was the first thing I read that I was actually like...into. and realized I could read for reasons OTHER then winning the most points.

Lily: If your five favorite characters were foods, what would they be?

asdfghgfdxs I honestly have no idea how to answer this question, in part because I don’t think I even have 5 favorite characters. I suppose Firestar is doritos out of obligation. What else can he be?? I mean ok flaming hot cheetos maybe seems more fitting on the surface because ~flame-y~ but lets be honest, Firestar is a bit too bland a character to be spicy. He is one of my favorites for nostalgia sake, I mean it’s Firestar, how can I not be fond of him?

I also have a soft spot for Scourge just because of the sheer ridiculous audacity of him. I wish he’d come back as an evil ghost. Anyway, when I was about 9 and going through my brief (incredibly unfortunate) twilight phase (I was just jumping on the popularity bandwagon tbh) I went to Hot Topic right before one of the movie premieres and they had this...edible bag of blood? it wasn’t actual blood obviously, but I remember it was advertised as being really high in iron to mimic blood, but it was really this sickly sweet mystery juice packaged inside of a fake hospital blood bag. I of course bought it because I went through my edgy phase early, and for some reason thought it would look cool to pretend I was drinking blood. It was the most disgusting liquid i have ever consumed but hey it did also have the unpleasant metallic tang of blood because I guess they were going for authenticity over edibility, so it’s not like I didn’t get what I paid for (or rather what my mom paid for, because i was 9)

Anyway, Scourge is that. He’s awful fake blood juice from the Hot Topic in the mall.

That's all I got.

Wisteria: Are you looking forward to the Warriors movie?

YES ABSOLUTLEY!!

don't get me wrong, I fully expect it to be terrible. Embarrassing even. I expect they will try to change it for a wider audience appeal, and of course it will end up bad, BUT IT WILL BE SO FUNNY!! I have this inescapable morbid curiosity about it, like I really want to see what they try to do. Like watching a train crash. I can't help it.

Warriors is a silly series. I have a feeling this is why a movie hasn't been made yet, even I would have no idea who to market it for. Yes it's violent and touches on very dark topics, but the fact that its about cute little cats with very dumb names coupled with those dark topics in a way makes it look even MORE silly. I don’t think Warriors will ever have wide appeal outside of its fanbase, the concept looks too ridiculous if you’re not someone already into animal xenofiction like this, but a movie is inevitably going to try to have wider appeal anyway because that's what movie studios feel they need to do. They will either water it down, or worse, try to go a more family friendly comedy route since that’s how general audiences are used to seeing animated talking animals and they think that's the only “”safe”” way to market an animal movie, which will 100% ruin it either way. The second one is more likely, I mean why else do you think they hired the guys who wrote kung fu panda, and the recent alvin and the chipmunks and Spongebob movies to make the script?? [no shade to kung-fu panda, it’s good in it’s own way, but it is not the same vibe as warrior cats at all]. For me, this is simultaneously the absolute best and the absolute worse scenario, because like, it’s horrible, its an insult to everything I love about the warriors world, i have surreal nightmares about it, but it’s so horrible it f*cking hilarious ya know? how can you not be a little curious to watch that train crash (and the outraged reaction posts that will inevitably follow)????

A warriors movie will be bad, I can't see any way that it won't be bad, and honestly? I think that's ok. I don't need a good movie, I simply need a good laugh, and then I'll go back to watching fan animations which will always be more interesting anyway because they don't feel the need to have ~mass appeal~

Listen, we don't actually need a good official adaptation. In some ways, a good adaptation might be bad for the fandom. The fandom is cool because of how wildly different and creative it is, the series is so bare bones with no consistent official art that people can go nuts with it. I worry on the off chance we get a really good adaptation, it might take over the books. People might be less likely to draw/create with their own wild bonkers interpretations of canon in favor of sticking closer to what the official adaptation presented us with, and idk if I want that. I also def don't want to deal with searching "warrior cats" for the rest of my life to only bring up gifs/discussions of the movie/tv show, rendering material and fan creations for the books almost impossible to find. This is something i've suffered with when other books i like get popular adaptations, where as series with bad adaptations (like percy jackson) I have less trouble finding content about the books.

Begonia: Which book cover is your favorite?

So of the old covers I admit i have a soft spot for the darkest hour, it was my favorite as a kid and I know I tried to redraw it several times. Warrior covers have a tendency to blend together, there’s only so many ways to draw mysterious cats fighting, but I think this cover is one of the most memorable for me, if only for the center art (shout out to the old Fire and Ice cover though, I also really like the center art on that. I wish the box had kept being used for more than just a single cat face in the later series)

but now that i’ve gone and looked, I really really like the full cover art for Tallstar’s Revenge, the colors just look super nice and match his eyes and everything. Tallstar having a fun and more unique looking design gives it extra points. Maybe I just like warm tones idk. And shout out to Wayne for also imagining the moor as a golden-brown field even though it’s probably supposed to be green.

out of the new covers, I like the vibe of Dark River, it just looks spooky and mysterious......and I think this artists cats look better from the side, they are always a little crooked from the front (honorable mention to Place of No Stars cover, I really like the colors and the ominous vibe, it definitely had an impact when I first saw that cover, I just don’t love the look of the cats faces blown up close from the front. The more I look at it the more off it becomes, but the colors are cool)

and I definitely agree the Russian warrior cats art has a very charming look to it, I like seeing it whenever it comes across my dash, but unfortunately I’m having trouble finding a catalogue of it to look at so I can’t pick a favorite

#warrior cats #ask #yarrow speaks #ask game #LMAO typed out half a response then put it in my drafts and forgot for 4 days #LONG POST

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prompt-master · 3 years

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Naegi goes to a small pocket circuit racing place every so often, has a disco nightlife, helps the people of Japan with batshit insane shenanigans, ends up in various scams of equal or more so batshit insanity, and has karaoke days. Also ( if yall get it ) Fuyuhiko is basically Naegis Amon to his Kiryu. Love this yakuzaLite!Naegi au!!!

That sounds FU-CKING HILARIOUS SKXKXKDK

I have not finished Yakuza 0 (which I really should I was having sm fun) but who's going to be the giant 10 foot guy that walks around and beats the shit out of you for your entire wallet

#ask #danganronpa #makoto naegi #fuyuhiko kuzuryu #yakuza au #that guy TERRIFIES ME btw #just like how the reaper in p5 horrifies me #any kind of enemy designed to be op intil youre ready scares me cuz ill come across them and just go 'SCATTER'

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kalypsichor · 4 years

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platonic teddy girl beatle!reader hc's being like john all mischievous and shit

ehehe i made myself laugh with this one

if anyone says “hey arsehole” both you and john will answer

george does it all the time and it cracks him up

people will give you shit for being the only girl but one hard glare will shut em up

and if not you’ll throw your jacket to ringo and give them a shiner with no hesitation

“damn, i didn’t know you could hit like that” “why, you into that sorta thing?”

when aren’t you and john pulling pranks on the other beatles?

john thinks it’s hilarious to pull silly, dirty tricks

exhibit a: replacing paul’s hair product with lube. paul almost runs john’s head through his guitar... “you’re fuckin lucky i love my bass more than you”

exhibit b: putting itching powder into george’s favorite leather jacket... except paul accidentally mistakes it as his and the rest is history

poor paul is the brunt of most of john’s havoc tbh

you’re more into the weird pranks. you’ll build them up slowly until a big, often satisfying reveal

example: sticking more and more coins to the bottom of ringo’s snare drum every day until one day you remove them all and he smacks himself right in the nose picking it up

it’s fucking hilarious but also ringo looks so sad and his nose is all red and you feel so bad that you immediately hug him and apologize

john walks in on you cooing and petting ringo’s face

“being nice to ritchie, eh? that’s the best prank yet”

good thing you and ringo have so many coins to throw at him

okay, but you thought these were bad? one time of john’s tricks goes wrong and gets you instead... and that starts an all-out war

no one is safe from your chaos. the band doesn’t have a productive practice for three weeks. one of ringo’s drumsticks gets stuck in the ceiling.

it isn’t until you and john accidentally knock over george’s cookies chasing each other around that it stops. the youngest beatle stands up quietly from his seat as everyone stares in horror at the bits of chocolate chip on the floor. no one speaks. he looks up from the scene and fixes you two with a glare so murderous that john clutches your arm. paul backs out of the room and ringo slides behind the drum set.

then, george grins

“shit, john-” “don’t stand there like that fucking run”

#beatles headcanons #john lennon x reader #paul mccartney x reader #george harrison x reader #ringo starr x reader #john headcanons #paul headcanons #george headcanons #ringo headcanons #asks

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smokeybrand · 2 years

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Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Welcome to the Hotel California

I’m a huge fan of Kung Fu flicks. Primarily old school like Enter the Dragon and Drunken Master but i have a special place in my heart for some of the newer ones like The Raid and Kung Fu Hustle. Specifically Hustle. That’s actually one of my all time favorite films. It’s a whole ass masterpiece. When i heard that Feige wanted to make a Shang-Chi flick, i found that questionable. In my head, the only way this works is if it’s a throwback Kung Fu flick. Shang-Chi is the Marvel equivalent to Bruce Lee (Who actually existed in the 616 and was canonically the strongest fighter until he died) and is the strongest hand-to-hand combatant in the entire 616. That said, the creation of Shang-Chi is hilariously problematic and, after the Kung Fu boom of the seventies that saw Marvel buying the rights to Fu Manchu and creating Iron Fist, Shang-Chi was relegated to the D-list. Dude has no stories, narrative, to pull from. Mans is a blank slate, which piqued my interest. How do you make Shang-Chi relevant? Well, his movie is out on D+, i passed on it in theaters because the Wuha, and i can finally check it out. Did Feige pull this sh*t off?

The Great

The fight choreography is f*cking spectacular. It pays homage to almost every type of Martial Art film which came before. I saw a little bit of Crouching Tiger in there and a lot of Enter the Dragon. Definitely a bit of China Connection and some of Jackie Chan, too. I absolutely loved every fight in this thing and it made for fantastic visuals.

The Good

I adore this Asian representation. Aside from the cast, there was lots of Mandarin influence in this thing. It’s more an amalgamation of all Asian cultures but the Chinese aspects really stand out. From the food, to the culture, to even the dual names, all of it really rang true to what i now about the Chinese way of life. When we finally got see Ta Lo, i recognized so many creatures from Asian folklore. There were kitsune or, considering this is a very Chinese-centric narrative, Huli jing. There were Shiisa and Dragons and those weird horse dragon things. It was really a sight to behold. This is the first time I've ever experienced something so thoroughly Asian in a big budget Hollywood production.

While on the subject of representation, this cast is loaded with Asian faces. That, i think, is the strongest aspect of this entire movie; Finally giving our Asian brothers their own Black Panther moment. I always love watching Awkwafina do her thing but it was a legitimate pleasure seeing Fala Chen, Michelle Yeoh, and Benadict Wong, steal every scene in which they found themselves. It was awesome seeing Ben Kingsley again, too. The cast was very strong, particular in two performances, but a complete let down in another.

Tony Leung as Xu Wenwu was absolutely amazing. Her really delivered on hi performance as Shang-Chi’s dad. As far as i can tell, Wenwu is an original character to the Shang-Chi mythos, kind of an amalgamation of the classic Iron Man villain, Mandarin, but a lot less problematic. I think this was a positive change, especially considering how strong Leung’s portrayal turned out and the fact it gives an anchor to what is effectively the MCU’s first, original, character. All credit given where due, as great as Leung was in his role, he was absolutely outshined by...

Meng'er Zhang! Yo, whee was this chick hiding? She was outstanding as Shang-Chi’s estranged sister, Xu Xialing! This performance was a whole ass vibe. Strong, aggressive, dominant but still incredibly emotional and even more vulnerable. Walking that line is testament to an actor’s ability and Zhang definitely nailed that sh*t. It’s funny because everyone was praising how strong a villain Leung was but, for my money, it was the Zhang show the second she popped up in Macau. I really, really, like Xialing.

I have to say, this thing had some of the bet action set pieces in the MCU to date. But that’s kind of a no-brainer as this is basically a kung fu film. If you’re set pieces, the stunts and fights, aren’t on point, what are you even doing? a few of them I've been before, that one on the scaffolding is definitely a thing that has been done to death in the genre, but they were all still really exciting to see, nonetheless.

The plot is a little derivative but as a framing device for dope ass fisticuffs, it works well. A lot of the charm can be found in the relationship interactions between the principal cast. I loved the way Shang-Chi interact with his sisters, Katy and Xialing. And, yes, Katy is definitely this man’s sister. You can’t tell me he wasn’t adopted into that family.

The overall writing s really tight. I as surprised by how many callbacks worked and the lack of glaring discrepancies. They even worked Trevor Slattery in there and made it feel very organic. Also, the explanation of Mandarin was f*cking hilarious.

The soundtrack is pretty f*cking dope. There’s a good mixture of modern hip-hp and traditional Chinese music. It blends very well and add a ton of authenticity to the movie about magic wristbands and dragons.

The Meh

Simu Liu. Like, Shang-Chi, himself, is a little dry for my tastes. We have fantastic leads in the MCU. Some are Charismatic as f*ck, like RDJ and Chadwick Boseman. Others are just earnestly endearing like Chris Evans and Tom Holland. Some are just goobers with hearts of gold like both the Chrises Pratt and Hemsworth. Liu has none of that just yet. He feels a little stiff, unsure of how his character should be just yet. A lot of that, i think, is because of the plot but some of it has to be the choices Liu made to bring Shang to life. It not a problem that will take you out of it but this feels a lot like pre-Ragnarok Thor. It took Hemsworth a while to find his version of the character and i think Simu might being working through the same process.

This thing was fun as f*ck until the last thirty minutes or so. It was unique and really delivered a new experience for the MCU until it didn’t. The ending to this thing aggressively devolves into the Marvel Formula and, while it’s fine, i wanted something different. You could have gone in so many different ways, leaned into the strength of the martial arts put on displayed the entirety of the film, but nah. CG clusterf*ck it is! Which is kind of dubious because...

The effects are really hit-and-miss. Sometimes, they’re exceptional. The realization of how the ring work was very well done. Other times, they’re dogsh*t. There is a frame in the whole bus scenes that looks so f*cking fake, man. Hell, even Morris is questionably rendered and that thing was integral to the climax of the whole damn film!

The pacing is weird. Like, it never really drags and the two hours flu by but, i dunno? It feels incredibly rushed? Shang-Chi is over two hour long and it feels like it needed more time to tell this story. Sh*t is real weird, man. I think it would have been better as a D+ series but then that opens up it’s own can of worms

The Bad

Whoever the f*ck played Razor Fist was trash. straight basura. He’s this massive dude and never gets the opportunity to be menacing. I never once felt like Shang-Chi or Xialing were in danger when they faced off with this cat. Also, his razor fist looks like sh*t. Some more of that wonky CG i referenced earlier.

The Verdict

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings was a fun time but nowhere near as great as the hype would have led you to believe. This thing is a mid-tier MCU outing. It’s nowhere near as good as Black Panther but substantially better than, say, the Ant-Man films. It is a solid origin story and definitely feels like a throwback to Phase Two in a lot of ways but definitely one of the strongest from that era. This film is filled with exceptional performances, Tony Leung and Meng'er Zhang being absolute standout, from a cast lousy with oft neglected Asian representation. Indeed, that Asian flavor runs deep, coloring everything about this film which really gave it it’s own feel. The martial arts are amazing to see and the overall aesthetic was a feat for the eyes. That said, Simu Liu has a long way to go in being a stand-out MCU lead and some of the effects look unfinished. That, and the fact this thing feels like is should have been longer to tell this story, really tarnishes Shang-Chi’s shine. Overall, i had fun with this film but is it an integral part of the MCU? I wouldn’t say so. Do you need to see this one to stay up on the overall workings of Feige’s master plan? Not really. It’s an entertaining origin story for a promising new character but not much else. Xialing is f*cking amazing, though. Give her a f*cking movie1 I’d watch her Ten Ring shenanigans with fervor!

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xnxadultstore · 4 years

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Top Swear Word Coloring Books for adults only

Swear Word Coloring Books appear to be VERY standard proper now. There are some horrible ones.. and by that, I imply for coloring.. unhealthy paper, boring designs and so on. The ones under all obtained respectable rankings from lots of of colorists so they need to meet your cursing and coloring wants.

All of those books CONTAIN ADULT LANGUAGE & ARE NOT INTENDED FOR CHILDREN

Immerse your self within the calming exercise of coloring, whereas embracing the therapeutic expertise of swearing like a sailor.

Swear Word Coloring Books for Adults

Sassy Sayings, Snarky Sarcasm and Saucy Swears

Click to Order Amazon US, UK or Canada

Work Sucks!: An Adult Coloring Book to Relieve Work Stress:

Volume 1 of Humorous Coloring Books Series by Mark Thompson a brand new participant to the humorous coloring e book recreation. This one is all about work with sayings in regards to the workplace, good to slide into your drawer for break time or go away it within the break room for your workplace mates.

Click right here to Order Amazon US, UK or Canada

You Can’t Fix Stupid – Swear Word Coloring Book

CLICK TO ORDER AMAZON US,UK Or CANADA

Have a Nice Life A**Hole

Click to Order Amazon US, UK or Canada

Make Life your B*tch Coloring Book

A Must-Have Coloring e book for each breakup! Funny traces like “I Faked it Every Time” and “Lying through your teeth isn’t flossing” and extra. Feel higher quickly as you fill in belongings you SHOULD have stated to that jerk. All pages are one-sided so you need to use markers, coloured pencils or gel pens.

Click to Order Amazon US, UK or Canada

Peace, Love & F*cking Happiness: An Irreverently Positive Adult Coloring Book

Another from Sasha O’Hara’s line of Irreverant Coloring Books. It incorporates 35 one-sided footage to paint your frustrations away.

Fresh out of F*cks Swear Word Adult Coloring Book

An Irreverent & Hilarious Antistress Sweary Adult Colouring Gift Featuring Funny Modern sayings for Mindful Meditation & Stress Relief from Honey Badger Coloring.

Hanna Canner has four extra Swear Word Coloring Books with fabulous evaluations on them together with:

The Swear Word Coloring Book for Prudes!

This coloring e book incorporates a hilarious assortment of the best swear phrases and uncouth sayings―all delicately wrapped in stunning illustrations to paint and show. Each hysterical sample is printed on sturdy, tear-out pages good for framing, gift-giving, and residential adorning. With greater than 60 pages of picturesque profanity, like”Poppycock”, “Jeez Louise” & “Dad Gummit”. Unlike among the Sweary coloring books, the phrases on this one are in all probability belongings you heard your Mom say.

Features: -62 unique items of art work to paint and revel in -Perforated pages for straightforward framing -One-sided printing so colours don’t bleed by means of -Instant stress reduction and humor

Mommy Drinks Because You Cry: A Sarcastic Coloring Book

Chill the F*ck Out: A Swear Word Coloring Book

Color Me F*cking Calm: Swear Words to Color

Adult Swear Word Coloring Book

50 Shades of Bullshit – Dark Edition

This coloring e book is printed with a black background so the colours actually pop and your image seems extra completed with out quite a lot of effort or carrying out your black Pitt Pen

Click to order Amazon US, UK or Canada

F-ing Adult Coloring Book: Cussing, swearing, physique elements, euphemisms

“I absolutely adore this! It’s perfect for stress relief at the office (of course, I do have to hide it from the bosses!). The pictures are funny and both detailed enough to keep me entertained, but not overwhelming that I feel as if I will never get them done.” (From Amazon Reviews)

Cuss Word Coloring by Sasha O’Hara

Cheer the F* Up by Sasha O’Hara

Sasha’s coloring books are typically much less graphic than some I’ve seen so for me are extra gratifying as a result of I prefer to share my coloring and I’m not comfy sharing sure phrases on social media. Don’t get me fallacious.. it’s a cuss phrase coloring e book but in addition tends to be extra humorous versus vulgar. Let us know what you assume through social media.

Click to Order US AMAZON

This is the primary Swear Word Coloring e book I’ve coloured in and thought it had some good designs, because the evaluations now we have learn by means of on Amazon, the print on this e book was inconsistent, among the traces have been light and the primary image I coloured in utilizing Tombow Brush Markers and the paper did disintegrate so I like to recommend NOT utilizing artist grade markers and stick to coloured pencils or extra of a wonderful tipped marker just like the Staedtlers.

Sasha O’Hara was our high promoting Curse Word Coloring Book artist final yr so apparently, everybody loves her books! Here is an inventory of Sasha’s Irreverent Adult Coloring Books

Cuss phrase coloring books click on to order Amazon US UK Canada and on Book Depository

Creative Insults for Foul-Mouthed Beasts – A UK Sweary Coloring Book by Squidoodle – Steve Turner

Click to order Amazon UK

Swear Word Coloring Books for individuals who hate their jobs! That’s a enjoyable idea for certain.

I F**ing Quit! A Color Your resignation letter Swear Word Book

Do your Job and your Boss suck! How about your coworkers? Can’t stand to smile for one other obnoxious ungrateful buyer? Rid your self of the job blues by coloring within the fantasy phrases you would like you possibly can say.

Fred Kills His Boss

My X’s title is Fred, and this illustration seems means an excessive amount of like him. I assume I can buy it for him for Christmas eh? Anyway, this seems to be a enjoyable stress reliever when you’ve got ever had a fantasy about killing your boss.

Click right here to Order Amazon US

F*** This I’m Coloring

A curse phrase coloring e book with express language with the phrases adorning by a number of templates of designs together with geometric and flower backdrops. The illustrator Jacqueline Monique has additionally included “Bleed blocker” pages you possibly can tear out to place behind your designs so the markers don’t bleed by means of. The print high quality is nice. At the again of the e book are clean templates full with cuss phrase phrases you can doodle on your self. The artist comes from a household of artists. We requested the place she obtained the inspiration for the e book. “As for the book, it’s a funny story. A friend of mine made me really angry one day. I was so upset, I got a surge of inspiration and channeled it into a single coloring composition of swear words. I shared one at work with a frustrated colleague and next thing I know other colleagues were asking for copies. So I decided to make an entire book within that genre. We’re still friends btw”

Political Swear Word Coloring Books for Adults

FU** Trump Cuss Word Coloring Book for Adults

Still upset in regards to the election.. this would possibly assist.

We Shall Overcome! How To Survive the Presidency of the Angry Cheeto

Another Anti-Trump Coloring Book for Adults to attempt to coloration away the anger of the election with some hilarious notions to paint in like

Love Trumps HateThis Pussy has ClawsImpeachment WatchResist the FurorPower to the PeopleWe Shall OvercombStay WokeReal Men Are FeministsGrab Him By His (tiny) Balls

Swear Word Coloring Book for Parents

Unleash your Inner Parent on this coloring e book designed to de-stress the haggard parental models. Filled with phrases and phrases you’ll by no means say to your little one however are considering in your head.

Swear Word Coloring Book: The Jungle Adult Coloring Book featured with Sweary Words & Animals

Click to Order Amazon US Amazon UK Amazon Canada Book Depository

Greetings! *sshole

Swear Word Adult Coloring Book –

Dozens of inappropriate swear phrases possible Coloring Pages designed for AdultsEach Swear phrase is Designed with cats, canines, butterflies patternsThe Variety of Pages Ensure there’s something for each ability degreeYour Choice of coloring device can be utilized (Pens, Pencils, Markers, Crayons and so on)

Click right here to buy

Slutty Coloring Book

This one has nice evaluations however is aware of that’s it a smaller e book designed to tuck simply into your purse or briefcase for stress reduction wherever you go. 30 single-sided eight×eight pages on this e book. When you click on to buy you possibly can see every of the phrases which are illustrated on this swear phrase coloring e book.

Click to order The Slutty Coloring e book -Silly Kinky Words Featuring Dirty Talk, Cats, Dogs, Animals, Flowers, and Relaxation US, UK or Canadian Amazon

Swear Word Coloring Book: An Adult Coloring Book of 40 Hilarious, Rude, and Funny Swearing and Cursing Designs

This coloring e book has a lot of UK curse phrases and phrases in it which for some cause all the time sound way more cultured that phrases the Yanks prefer to say…. for occasion Knob Goblin. I’ve no thought what which means nevertheless it sounds humorous.

Angry Sweary Cats Coloring Book for Adults

Cats with potty mouths entertain you on this enjoyable de-stressing e book for cat lovers.

Cursing Cats: A Very Sweary Coloring Book for Adults Only

This was one of the best assessment on Amazon. “You actually need to relieve stress whereas coloring properly then simply open this e book and begin cussing and coloring away with these very naughty kitties…..You get 24 designs of cats spelling out the precise curse phrase with expressions on their face to die for……Their little faces really appeared Surprised or in Shock whereas their our bodies bend in all totally different positions to spell out unhealthy phrases……The designs cowl your entire web page….

They are printed on one facet of the web page…..On very skinny white paper as a result of Cat’s simply don’t care sufficient about the place they go.

Click to Order Amazon US, UK or Canada

The sweary coloring e book for adults: 50 filthy swears

Single – sided pages Sized to border at eight.5 x 11 printed on white paper. Each web page varies from average to complicated intimately some pages have a mosaic really feel whereas different phrases are comprised of flowers, prospers, and butterflies

Click to Order The Sweary Coloring Book For Adults

Make Today Your B*tch – Swear Word Coloring Book for Adults

“My middle finger salutes you.” If you ever need to give your boss a center finger, this unconventional grownup coloring e book is the proper treatment for the itch of your tender thoughts. The 26 pro-artists ready illustrations match completely with the phrases and phrases you need to converse out loud however by no means dare to. Now it’s THE time to take away your civilized masks and revel in your true self.

Memo’s to Shitty People: A Delightful & Vulgar Adult Coloring Book

Click to Purchase: US, UK or Canada

Do you may have a horrible, incompetent neighbor?

Does your annoying coworker by no means shut up?Do it’s important to take care of shitty individuals each day?Are you looking for a novel novelty reward for your greatest buddy?

Sometimes, you simply have to SWEAR at somebody…

Granny Swears Coloring Book

Adult Coloring Book with swear phrases that Granny would say. “Well Bless Your Little Heart,” or “Son of a Biscuit!”

Click to Order Granny Swears Amazon US

Granny Swears Black Edition Coloring Book

Swear Word Colouring Books for Adults

Adult Coloring – Naughty & Nice

Naughty and Nice is on the tamer facet of the cuss phrase coloring e book world.

More Beautiful Swears is by the identical Artist “Color Me Naughty” and is just like Naughty & Nice.

***Sicles – Adult Coloring Book about “pop” sicles

Holiday Swear Word Coloring Books for Adults

The Swearing Elf – A Coloring Adventure for Adults

Click to order Amazon US Amazon Canada Amazon UK

Happy F***ing Holidays – An Irreverent Christmas Holiday Coloring Book

These books truthfully aren’t my factor however I acquired this e book from Sasha O’Hara a couple of days in the past and I actually am having fun with it. Christmas actually does carry out the worst in some individuals and this web page largely has cute/naughty pages in it. My first one to paint was “Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle” with the brand new gel pens I used to be reviewing (loved each) after which the “BITE ME” gingerbread man. My subsequent web page would be the cocktails web page with “Holiday Survival Kit”. Click to Order Amazon US Amazon UK Amazon Canada

Bah F***ing Humbug Release Your Inner Scrooge

Click to Order US Amazon UK Amazon Canada Amazon

ALL BOOKS CONTAIN ADULT LANGUAGE NOT INTENDED FOR CHILDREN

If you’re looking for horny grownup coloring books, you can see lots of these listed right here!

This checklist goes on and on.. please notice that whereas these books are a enjoyable solution to blow off steam that the majority of them that I’ve seen in particular person aren’t the best high quality printing or paper so don’t count on artist high quality paper.. these are largely simply for enjoyable. If YOU Have created one that you just assume is above common, please ship me a duplicate to assessment.

If you might be new to Adult coloring books listed here are a few pages that can assist you get began.

I STRONGLY advocate downloading the Hobby Lobby & Michaels App to your smartphone. That means you all the time have the coupons with you. Being the clumsy particular person I’m.. I ALWAY neglect the coupons at house or within the different automobile or the opposite purse.. you get me, Right?

AMAZON PRIME – If you aren’t a member you must look into it.

You get free 2-day delivery each day at Amazon with Amazon Prime. You can attempt it for free proper now.

If you might be new to coloring or simply need to dive in a bit deeper make sure to learn our expansive provide suggestions together with our ideas and tips articles.

*How to Get Started with Adult Coloring Best Colored Pencils *Best Gel Pens *Best Markers that Don’t Bleed Through the Paper * Background Supplies *Coloring Tutorials *13 Tips & Tricks for Colorists

You can even be part of our Coloring Book Addict Facebook Group Here.

The post Top Swear Word Coloring Books for adults only appeared first on XNX Adult Store.

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myheartisarollingthunder · 7 years

Text

Stubborn Idiots

Levihan Week Day 3: Sense or Masquerade

Summary: The tale of two idiots

As soon as Levi and Mike stepped out of the meeting room, they noticed a group of people buzzing in front of the bulletin board. The two intimidating men stopped not far from the crowd. Levi's body language suggested that he would rather not join in the crowd and let Mike find out what's going on. Levi raised an eyebrow when he didn't move.

"Haven't you heard?" Mike asked distractedly as he rubbed his own nose. He's not a fan of crowds either. "There is a masquerade carnival at the end of the week."

"The f*ck?" Levi crossed his arms, appeared to be unfazed but his question betrayed him. "You above ground people are always up to something. Can’t you people calm your assess down?"

"It's just the way it is." Mike shrugged then he smiled. “I will be going with my squad, you know, to spend quality time with them. You should do it.”

“I'm not interested in this shit.” he frowned.

“You don’t have to take them, if you don’t feel like it.” Mike paused, giving another thought if he should say it. “You can ask Hanji to go with you.”

That suggestion made Levi froze, ears perked up, waiting for Mike to say more. Not that he was interested in asking the abnormal being out but he knew that she had been busy lately, she could use a break. Erwin can be really persuasive when making his subordinates work and Hanji would happily answer his calls. And his calls were more frequent than usual these days. In fact Hanji and Erwin were still in the meeting room, discussing.

“So, what? I have to wear a mask to go?” Levi finally broke.

Mike smirked, feeling proud of himself. “Yeah.”

“Wipe that smug off your face, Zacharius.” Levi glowered.

“Whatever you say.” his hand over his lips to hide his smile.

---

After the meeting and extra discussion with Erwin, Hanji went to her office to continue her work. Their last expedition was a big failure, many of their sponsors were backing out. It was up to Erwin and Hanji to find more money.

Hanji was too focused on writing, she almost threw away her pen when her door suddenly slammed open. Only one person dared to do that, she didn't even bothered to turn to see who did it. Let him do all the work of walking to her. She hadn't have the time to attend his whims. Not now.

As Hanji was writing, a mask flew over her head and fell on her parchment. Hanji stared at it for a while as it was an unlikely object that she had ever received from Levi. Hanji looked at him, eyes squinted, shoulders raised and hands drawn together pointed to the mask.

“We're going to the carnival.” Levi simply said as if he was giving an order to his subordinates.

“Do you even know what is in a carnival?” Hanji asked. When Levi didn't respond, Hanji rolled her eyes. “People. There are people. Lots of them. All sweaty and touching each other. No personal space at all.”

Levi cringed, but only barely.

“Everybody in the corps knows that other than dirt and filth, the thing that you hate most are people.” Hanji made her point. As soon as she said it, she turned again to her work, hoping that this clean freak would leave her alone.

“Don't make this about me, Four Eyes.” he warned. “You have been cooped up in here for too long. The only time you ever leave this stinky room is to meet Erwin.”

Hanji whirled around to face him. “Is this your way of telling me you're jealous?” she laughed. “Well, you can't keep Erwin all to yourself. Look, I promise I'll return him to you when we secure Duke Franz’s money, okay?”

Hanji understood where Levi's weird behaviour came from; she had been hogging for Erwin’s attention for weeks. Of course Levi felt neglected, but the future of her research was at stake. Surely Levi would understand because if they fail this proposal, budget for his precious black tea would be in danger too.

But Levi can be a stubborn pain in the ass. She was told that his stubborn ass only rivaled by her own. So it was unsurprising to Hanji when Levi didn't budge at all. Instead he just stared at her with his fist clenched tightly.

“Duke F*ckhead will be f*cking around the carnival. He won't be in his office or whatever fancy mansion he works anyway.” he said. “Tell Erwin you're taking a break this weekend.”

Hanji sighed and pushed her glasses to her head.

“No.” Her patience was running thin by the second. “Don't make me repeat myself. I'm not in the mood for one of your stupid banters.”

When Levi refused to move, Hanji took matters into her own hands. She rose from her seat and dragged Levi by his hand towards the door.

“What the fu…” Levi resisted the tug.

“GET THE HELL OUT.” she yelled, not letting go of his hand.

Levi in turn yanked her to him and clasped their hands close to his chest. His eyebrows were pulled together, lips narrowed and face red with rage. They were so close, she can feel his quickened breath on her face. It could be hilarious if they were not annoyed at each other because Levi was shorter than Hanji and he had to look up to make eye contact. He was not intimidating to Hanji at all.

“Don’t touch me with your filthy hand.” he seethed. “Or I’ll break it.”

As anyone who had been threatened, Hanji acted out. She kneed him in his groin so hard, he grunted. Hanji grabbed his hair with her free hand and dragged him across the room again. Trying to kick him out of her office. Levi put a foot in front of Hanji’s own which made her trip and both of them fell on the carpet inelegantly. They got up quickly and without missing a beat, engaged in a fistfight.

They were used to this. They always challenge each other to a sparring match. Most of the time Levi won, much to Hanji’s dismay. He was humanity’s strongest after all. Unfortunately for Hanji, this time was no different than their regular casual sparring.

Just as Hanji tried to hit Levi straight in his stupid jaw, he avoided and locked her right hand with his own as he reached for her head. When he got a good grip on her ponytail, he pushed her down while his other hand lifted her abdomen. It sent her spinning and landed hard on the floor. Son of a bitch knocked the wind out of her.

“You know what,” he looked down on her, “do whatever you want. F*cking idiot.”

When Levi opened the door to leave, there were a few people in front of the room. Most had their worried expression, probably wondering what their squad leader and captain were doing in the room. Moblit passed through them and as soon as he saw Hanji lying on the floor, he started to wail. Levi stomped out of the area. He had enough of Hanji for the day, week, month, life already.

“YOU BROKE MY GLASSES, BASTARD!” was the last thing he heard from her.

----

“This is stupid.” Oluo mumbled, loud enough for his friends-and Captain Levi- to hear.

“Oh, stop it Oluo!” Petra nagged. “You're only acting this way because Captain Levi joined us.”

“But really, why would people cram themselves like this?” He took off his mask and glanced at it, “Made us wear a mask too.”

“Legend says that back in the days, a king wanted to partake in a carnival that stopped by his kingdom.” Eld explained gladly, as if he had known this information for too long and can’t wait to share it with others. “But as a king, he can’t be seen mingling with his subjects. So the king released a royal decree that stated those who wants to join the carnival MUST put on a mask.”

“Heh.” Oluo chuckled. “Do you think King Fritz is among us tonight?”

“Not sure about King Fritz, but that’s Duke Franz.” Petra pointed to a flamboyant figure wearing an equally flamboyant mask. He was cheering on an arm wrestling match in front of him.

“How can you tell?” Gunther finally joined in the conversation. “His face is covered?”

“Other than his loud and obnoxious mask? He likes to gamble.” Petra pointed to the two arm wrestlers. “I bet he placed a bet on one of those two.”

“Definitely not on the skinny one.” Oluo said.

Five of them unknowingly observed the match from far. They can easily watch from where they were standing because the match was on an elevated platform. It seemed like everyone around them were watching it too. Not long after that, they were cheering on the players. Despite the huge difference in size, the skinny one was not letting it off easily. Eventually, the bigger person gave in and let their hand pin by their skinny opponent. The crowd erupted into a roar as the unlikely winner won.

The winner jumped off the platform in a very ungraceful manner and fell flat on their bum. There was a collective ‘ooff’ when they fell. Levi wasn’t sure it was because the crowd felt the pain or felt embarrassed for that person.

“What an idiot.” he mumbled under his breath. Oluo nodded in agreement.

Levi saw the winner in mask shook hand with Duke Franz and they whispered something to each other. Others may not noticed this behaviour but it looked like a serious conversation. Only then Levi realized the appearance of the skinny person. Yellow button up shirt, messy ponytail, long legs and there’s even a pair of goggles on top of the mask.

“Wait a minute. That’s my idiot!” Levi blurted.

The four of them simultaneously stared at him then turned to take a look at the said person.

“Now that you mentioned it Captain, you’re right.” Petra said in disbelieve. “That is..”

“Squad leader Hanji.” Oluo finished what Petra wanted to say, also didn’t quite believe what he saw- or rather what he heard.

“She’s walking towards us!” Gunther frantically reported. “Your orders, sir?”

He crossed his arms close to his chest and ‘tch’ at the sight of Hanji getting closer. “Stay put and if any of you mentioned to anyone what I said earlier, I’ll have you hang by your throats. All of you.”

“Haa.. I thought I sensed a grumpy vibe around this area.” Hanji giggled and smacked Gunther’s shoulder, which he didn't appreciate at all. “Did you see I beat that titan sized man there? Heehee.”

“That was awesome, squad leader!” Petra gushed. “You gotta tell us how you beat him!”

“Have a healthy breakfast every morning of course!” Hanji joked. Then she leaned in a little bit to get closer to the group and whispered, “and that guy was actually Mike, but shh, don't tell anyone that.”

Levi snorted, “Figures.” He wasn’t even looking at Hanji, instead he was paying attention at the rides not far from them. Under that mask, she can tell he was scowling.

“Thanks to Levi for giving me the idea or else I would still stuck in my office forever.” Despite the fact that Levi was ignoring her, Hanji tried her best to cheer things up. “Because I won that arm wrestling match, the Duke agreed to give us money. Which means... black tea is not cancelled!”

Levi still looked away, not acknowledging her. The rest of Levi squad exchanged uncomfortable glances.

“That is good news, squad leader!” Eld was kind enough not to leave Hanji hanging. “Umm. I think we will continue our outing. If we may, Captain?”

Levi nodded slightly. They saluted Levi and Hanji and left them alone.

“How long are you going to keep this up?” Hanji asked, her hands on her hips.

“For however long it takes for you to get out of my sight.” he uttered without any consideration.

“Even if I told you I saved your black tea supplies?”

“You are still dead to me.”

“Come on. You can’t stay mad at me forever.” Hanji pleaded. “I even forgave you for throwing me on the floor the other day.”

“I didn’t apologize, stupid.”

“But you wanted to, right?” she teased him by standing next to him and nudged his shoulder.

“Go to hell.”

Levi walked away from her. Hanji followed closely hoping that she would annoy him enough into submission. Despite the fact that Levi can be a stubborn pain in the ass, he eventually paid for most of their rides and games in the carnival.

Levi thought that the masquerade carnival was not bad. Not bad at all.

Inspired by this The part Levi threw Hanji on the ground was taken from the third gif of this

#levihan #levihanweek #hanji zoe #levi ackerman #levihan fanfiction #snk fanfiction #hange zoe #sorry for the bad fic #my post #long post #bad post

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