#goddamn so funny

[macaroni-rascal]

not @lerayon making me laugh so hard and so loud in our chat that it woke up my cat

#goddamn so funny #still giggling

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

#normally I don't chronicle my dreams here but fucking hell that one was funny #I think this would genuinely make tumblr better tbh #@ staff do this cowards #spy has thoughts #my life is a sitcom and i am my own laugh track #functional website #spy's smash hits #Glock function #edit for everyone in the notes saying 'everyone clapped' #I know I can't prove to you that it happened for real you're just gonna have to trust me on this #but I swear on my goddamn life I'm not making this up #I make so many conscious puns that sometimes my subconscious cooks up a real good one

[captainsaltypear]

based off a headcanon i came across the other day that i cant get out of my brain (the original headcanon's under the cut)

#fnaf #fnaf movie #five nights at freddy's #vanessa shelly #william afton #vanessa afton #five nights at freddy's movie #vanessa #vanessa fnaf #why is this headcannon so goddamn funny to be ive been wheezing about this for the past few days thank you @rainbowesprimkle on tiktok #pear post #scheeze art

[b-e-e-h-o-p]

DID YALL KNOW THAT SOMEONE MADE SPEEDRUNS DEDICATED TO HOW FAST THEY CAN GET TO THE PUNCH SOLAS SCENE 💀💀💀

#8 GODDAMN MINUTES HOW??? #THEY USED SO MANY GLITCHES JUST TO PUNCH THIS STUPID EGG MAN #dragon age #dragon age inquisition #solas dragon age #dragon age solas #solas #dragon age funny #solavellan #dragon age speedrun #dragon age speedruns #speedrun #speedruns

[pinkgibbon]

anton chigurh goes to stardew valley

#every1 in the notes asking me why I made this 🙄 art isn’t about why! it’s about why not! why don’t you marry safe art if you love it so much #i got a better shirt for him eventually but i dont have a pic of it #roleplaying as him was the only way i was finally able to bring myself to do joja route #no country for old men #stardew valley #i like to think of him as being magically stuck there for an indeterminate amount of time and trying to survive w/o murdering the whole tow #anton chigurh #marnie stardew valley #i better not see ANY marnie slander!!! #how do u tag them #stardew valley marnie #sdv marnie #morris stardew valley #sdv morris #stardew valley morris #i was not gonna romance anyone obviously but i really enjoyed drawing that pic of him w morris so i got the marry morris mod and it is so #goddamn funny. just the idea of. anton chigurh x morris. me and friends r having the time of our life with it. i even made fanart. #which i may post later if i feel like it #my art #fanart #ncfom

[theminecraftbee]

witness today: docm77 managing to cause himself to completely and totally bluescreen on the spot,

#hermitcraft #docm77 #joe hills #zombiecleo #vintagebeef #THIS IS SO GODDAMN FUNNY THE MOMENT DOC SOMEHOW STARTS TALKING ABOTU DOG SHOWs #AND EVERYONE ELSE IS LIKE. WHAT??? #it's SO GOOD.

[nesperus]

mentopolis is an absolute blast so far

#d20 #d20 mentopolis #mentopolis #dan fucks #i cant believe thats his actual name its so goddamn funny #daniel fucks #conrad schintz #< he’s my favorite btw #dimension 20

[monttagues]

who gave them the right to be so fucking funny

#text post tag #WHY is this so funny. goddamn. #fantasy high #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #dimension 20 #kat watches d20

[steddietogo]

Robin is hiding under Steve’s bed so she can grab his leg and scare the shit out of him when he comes in. Except, she knows she’s fucked up when she hears voices outside his bedroom. Plural. Her best friend in the whole wide world is, unfortunately for Robin, not alone. She knows why anyone would be seeing the inside of Steve Harrington’s bedroom. And they’re taking their own fucking sweet time as well probably making out on their way— yuck.

The door swings open when Robin is contemplating the least disastrous way she could escape the bedroom and in walks Eddie Munson. Relief floods her chest as she realizes now she doesn’t have to destroy her reputation already hanging by a thread. Then she also realizes she could scare both dumbasses, two birds one stone.

The two are still standing too far from the bed and Robin tunes out of their conversation choosing to use her brain power to mentally will them closer to her. Which is why it takes her completely by surprise when Steve— her straight ass best friend STEVE— leans in and kisses Eddie right on the mouth.

Robin claps a hand over her mouth to stop her from screaming. Her best friend a boy kisser? Her Steve?

Robin is nothing if not committed to the bit. Eddie would be proud. She waits till they get close enough even though it pains her to exist in the same room two boys are making out in. They’re play fighting, then Eddie shoves Steve into the bed and it’s now or never.

Robin reaches out at grabs one black jean clad shin and Eddie goes yowling and jumping up in surprise like he’s in some cartoon.

#platonic stobin #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #This was in my drafts for so goddamn long I don’t have the energy to finish it #But it’s kinda funny I guess so enjoy?🤷🏻‍♀️ #mine

[shit-talker]

The 141 have a ridiculous run of inside jokes that is continuosly ruining their lives, such as;

1.) If someone says, "You love it really," to you, you immediately have to agree with them, no matter what the circumstances. Otherwise, you lose the ability to do it back. This has resulted in many weird fake confessions, including one time in which Soap got fed up with people making your mom jokes at him and went on a rant about it. Ghost glanced at him in front of a room full of cadets and just went, "You love it really, though," and Soap almost died as he sadly nodded and replied, "Yeah, I do."

2.) If something even remotely sexual sounding is said about you, you must always say, "You're damn right I do/am/will," back. This backfired once when they were in a defreif and Price said something about Gaz "coming through the back door" and Gaz, without think, winked and replied "You're damn right I did," In front of everyone and got in trouble for mild insubordination. (The others almost died laughing as he realised what he'd done, who he'd done it to, and who he'd done it in front of (aka Price's bosses))

3.) When talking about Roach, they will always act like he's died. He hasn't, but none of them can stop the joke, and it always makes all of them crack up, even Roach. This once caused major panic, as once when Ghost was discussing their latest mission with Laswell, he said, "It was fine because Roach - God rest his soul -" and Laswell had about two minutes where she thinks Roach has dropped dead and she didn't fucking know.

4.) They will always make up bad stories for how they met Ghost, if anyone ever asks. It doesn't matter what the truth is, or who they're speaking to, when asked, all three of them will reply with some made up, overly dramatic or down right boring story on how they met. These stories ranged from Ghost, saving them from a shark attack (Gaz), Ghost selling them assorted drugs as a teenager (Roach), and most devastatingly is when Soap told a distant relative of his that he met Ghost after "finding him with my older brother, behind his wifes back" he does not have an older brother, and so there is no wife.

5.) They always reference the "Malibu incident." None of them have ever been to Malibu. Nothing bad has ever happened there, but now they've created a whole conspiracy in the British Army about a coverup that happened in Malibu. Price knows about this one and finds it endlessly funny, so he goes along with it, never directly mentioning it but refusing to deny it when someone asks. If anyone ever asks about the details of it, they just give a deadpanned look as if the other person should already know and say; "Don't make me say it." There are rumours. Like, a lot of rumours.

6.) Roach claps every time someone says, "I'll be there for you" because once he clapped at the wrong time during the friends intro and had been paying the price ever since. It doesn't happen often, but sometimes you'll just hear him clapping - not even in the tune to the friends theme. Just random clapping. If any of the others hear it, they almost always reply with "That's a fuckin' joke" in a really disappointed tone. It's confused a lot of people.

#call of duty #cod mw2 #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #kyle gaz garrick #gary roach sanderson #john price #kate laswell #they spend far too much time together #so their humour has kind of melded together to make their own goddamn language that nobody else ever understands #and they can't explain it either #because it always takes too long and by the time theyre done its not even funny #so they just look crazy to everyone #price knows about most of these but absolutely refuses to take part in them #except for malibu #because he actually finds that one funny #task force 141 #cod 141 #shit talker talks

[davestriderpostscratch]

hussie calling doc scratch’s ancestor tale “troll fanfiction” implying that some or all of it was possibly fake is one of the most insane pieces of dialogue in the comic could you fucking imagine if he was just lying. just made all of that shit up

[95-6qrsk2rx9uq42069nnnnnjthewolf]

i think tim is high maintenance the way a boarder collie or austrialian shepherd is. like you have to make sure they're not only given space to expend energy but you have to specifically let them get the herding instinct out and challenge them intellectually or they start destroying ur home

#tim drake #red robin #jaytim #i think cohabitating would require resigning yourself to your gear going missing for 2-5 business days before returning slightly improved #or coming back to the microwave disassembled across the couch #this happens and jason is like ok im gonna pop over to the gcpd and grab u a cold case do Not touch my stand mixer #but also have to stop him from reaching critical levels of boredom that results in poking the league with a stick #because then gotham is being overrun by ninja 2 months from now #this is harder for jason to curb because an incensed ra's is so goddamn funny to the both of them #dcu #i know tim hating the ceo job is easy whump but consider he needs minimum 5 plates spinning at all times to keep the Thoughts at bay #and WE probably is such low stakes for manipulation tactics its stress relief at this point

[turtletoads]

thinking about those cora lives aus but they never explain how he’s alive, so i always assume its this scenario

#havent posted in a bit hiiiiiii *waving aggressively #my art #fanart #digital art #sketch #one piece #one piece fanart #donquixote doflamingo #donquixote rosinante #one piece corazon #one piece doflamingo #trafalgar d water law #originally from ad/vent/ure time #its 4 over here sooo good night 🤠 #rosi could never shoot his brother but its funny to think about #edit: this shit is so fuckigm embarassing to me now. i had a goddamn nightmare after drawing this #jeueysus. this shit fucking sucks im so sorry i subjugated you all to this

[starry-bi-sky]

more clone^2

snippet 21: Danny is Bruce Wayne's Clone and--

Star, with the rest of the A-List girls: alright ladies! it's time for our quarterly 'cutest boys' list! Now I'll get straight to the point, in our number one spot is--

All girls, in unison: Danny Fenton

Star, writing it down on a whiteboard: and for our number two spot--

---------- Snippet 22: clone meet clone

Ellie, dramatically: Danny!

Danny, equally dramatic: Ellie!

Ellie, pushing past him and looking around: where is he! i wanna see the little guy!

Damian, with a sword, brandishing it dangerously: *in arabic* don't come any closer, stay back!

Danny, wrapping an arm around Ellie's waist and pulling her back: woah, woah - he's still adjusting to everything

Danny, turning towards Damian with his google translate open: [please don't stab her. this is Ellie my clone.]

Damian, lowering his sword in disbelief: 'there's MORE of you?

-------------- Snippet 23: Ellie has the same epiphany as Danny

Ellie:...hey Danny

Danny, pouring over his arabic book: hm

Ellie: since I'm your clone, and you're a clone of Bruce Wayne, and Damian is a clone of Damian Wayne, does that technically mean I'm his mom - uh. dad-mom?

Danny:

Ellie:...its a fair question

Danny: .....*deep sigh* you're his cousin until further notice.

------------ Snippet 24: wait for me ii (hadestown, live vers.)

(i'm not sure of the context, but i've been thinking of Danny saying this to Damian during a serious moment for days. the snippet title is the song that the dialogue below is from)

Danny, fixing up Damian's wraith suit: the meanest dog you'll ever meet

Danny, zipping up damian's jacket: it ain't the hound dog in the street. he bares some teeth and tears some skin, but brother,

Danny, adjusting Damian's gloves, pausing to look him in the eye: that's the worst of him.

Danny, he holds a finger up to Damian's eyes and points it at him: the dog you really got to dread, is the one that howls inside your head

Danny, grabbing damian's mask and smoothing it over his eyes: it's him whose howling drives men mad, and a mind to its undoing

------------ Snippet 25: Danny is Bruce Wayne's clone-- (Battinson Vers*)

Ember, in the middle of a fight with Phantom + Wraith:

Ember, knocks off Phantom's mask for the first time: lets see what ugly mug you're really hiding under there, Phantom--

Phantom: *the wettest, most pathetic looking pretty boy on the planet*

Ember:

Phantom, dryly: what, did your mic die out or something? all that caterwauling finally make you lose your voice

Wraith, unsheathing his sword: *vibrating with baby brother rage bc he knows EXACTLy why Ember is silent*

----------- Snippet 26: Damian is finally starting to play nice :)

Dany: hey... guys.... whatcha doing

Damian, hanging out with Sam: Me and Manson are plotting ways to crush the Mayor's plan to cut budget funding for the city parks and cut down the native trees

Danny: oh, i see.... is this safe?

Sam: probably

Danny: hm.

------------- Snippet 27: digging up cold case

Danny: ....if Damian is out with Sam tonight with their plot against the mayor....

Danny, turning towards his desk: then that means I can work some more on Mrs. Witherbury's murder case that she asked me to solve without Dames guilt-tripping me into bed :)

Danny, settling down at his desk with a thermos full of coffee: i'm glad sam and damian are finally getting along

--------- Snippet 28: sparring

Damian, frowning: your reflexes are incredible but your combat is downright awful, brother. it's truly a miracle i didn't skewer you upon our first meeting

Danny, got his ass kicked by his 7yo brother: *groaning in pain* not everyone has super secret assassin training, Damian. And I don't really have time to actually practice anything.

Damian: Mrs. Fenton knows martial arts and her form is proficient enough, I'm sure she would be delighted to teach you if you asked. I will join since I need to keep my skills sharp and my training was unfinished when I arrived here.

-------- Snippet 29: daytime surprise

Phantom, fighting Skulker in broad daylight: *under his breath* at least Lancer's english test will get canceled for this...

Phantom, dodging a blast from Skulker: *in ASL, furious* don't you have anything better to do, you fuck!?

Skulker: foolish ghost child, speak! I know you're capable of it - speak before you lose the ability to

Phantom: *flips him off instead*

Wraith, sending back a ecto-blast with his sword: please pay attention, phantom

Phantom, doubletaking: *in a hissed whisper* what are you doing here!? it's a school day, you should be at school!

Wraith: Tt. If the boot fits.

------------ Snippet 30: guilt

Danny with his head on his desk, his elbows propped up as he massages his hands: hn

Damian, lurking to the side with a guilty look on his face:

Damian: can i....

Danny, silently holding his hand out to Damian: hrm

Damian, immediately taking it and doing the massages + finger exercises: ...im sorry

Danny: hm... I forgive you

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc crossover #dpdc au #dpxdc au #dp dc #dp dc crossover #danny fenton is not the ghost king #clone^2 #this made me realize that Danny's ghosts PROBABLY don't know what he looks like under the mask for a WHILE #they just know he's a pain in the ass and also human and also insistent to get them back into the ghost zone #danny being the battinson bat clone is THE funniest thing to me like goddamn. you're a drowned kitten #does this imply that none of his rogues have seen his face in the two years before he got damian? yes. but wraith knowing why ember is #silent and being indignant with baby brother rage is so funny to me. protective little siblings ftw >>>> #dany being battinson bat makes so much sense because clone danny has no powers and runs around in a hoodie and jeans and baseball bat #and battinson is the exact amount of lanky and tall wet rat that seeing phantom WOULD be unsettling if you saw him at night. #also sam and damian get along but i dont know or think that damian would ever trust her tucker or jazz like he ever would with danny #he likes them and trusts them to take care of danny and him (to an extent) but he like. TRUSTS trusts danny. #hhhh fuck danny is permanently the battinson bat in my head fUCK. it makes so much sense #danny resorts to Batman Grunts when he’s overtired + in pain + unfocused

[transjudas]

You're a highly regarded member of this crew.

#rewatching and this is still so funny #like goddamn #black sails #blacksailsedit #james flint #jamesflintedit #captain flint #billy bones #hal gates #blacksailssource #perioddramaedit #perioddramasource #perioddramacentral #periodedit #perioddramagif

[tiredrobin]

leonide listening to murderbot talk to ART (who is, at least by her assumption, a human captain or something) and MB being like "fuck you" vehemently and ART being like "you haven't spoken to me like that in weeks. i've missed it" ... like this woman is listening to a robot (well, construct, one that presumably isnt a rogue because it's still protecting humans) swear at a presumed human, and yet no one else—NO ONE ELSE AT ALL—is acting like this is odd. it's odd!!! from her perspective, it's fucking weird!!!! and then later she's like "is that really a secunit?" because people are being kind to it, iris repaired its environmental suit, and it's talking back and snapping at people and behaving so unlike a secunit one can't help but think it sounds like a person. she's already in an extremely distressing situation, and her life is in the hands of crazy people who treat their bot-human construct like it's just some other guy. i do not feel any genuine sympathy for her, but just imagine what that must feel like. i'd be silently losing my mind.

#the murderbot diaries #tmd #robin rambles #its so funny. its so goddamn funny #murderbot doesnt even have to bother entertaining her constant dehumanizing views because its surrounded by humans that wont let that stand #and its also too busy saving everyones lives to give a shit #system collapse #murderbot