#gonna be real here chief some of what I'm finding has me like You Are White And Terminally Online

[grammarpedant]

*sigh* someone has submitted an intriguing prompt to the Aspec Murderbot event that i'd love to try filling. it's basically "loveless aro Murderbot," the prompt makes it sound cool and fascinating to explore, but every time I try to search "loveless aro" to get, y'know, some perspective on an identity and way of life that I'm new to, what I find has me like "what the fuck are y'all talking about (derogatory)" and "what the fuck are y'all talking about (genuine)" what the FUCK are y'all talking about can someone please point me to Any kind of resource that explains What people mean by it when they use this term for themselves and why they use it that isn't, like, the aro wiki page that basically just explains that it's for people who don't identify with the concept of love. like i got that part thanks, can you say more that's a little more internally coherent. this is a sincere if frustrated request for help, btw.

#I'm hangry today I had to wake up earlier than usual to send my ma to a medical appointment only to find the snow cancelled driving as a co #concept. #I'll cheerfully admit I've only just scraped the surface of googling this shit but i figure my shitty search skills would be less valuable #than Just Asking someone who knows anyway #verso talks #gonna be real here chief some of what I'm finding has me like You Are White And Terminally Online #a lot of focus on the narrative of platonic attraction (not convinced this is meaningfully exists in amatonormative society) and like. #How I Personally Feel In My Heart About These Things #can you stop navelgazing for one fucking second and say something politically coherent? since you're not doing the dishes either way. #anyway not to trash the concept of loveless either. i kind of vibe with it but from a specifically non-white non-xtian political pov #which is perhaps the problem.

[therapycat21]

All Right Now Part 4

Travis Kelce x Famous!Reader Description: The reader catches the eye of famous footballer Travis.

Warnings: None

Social Media AU

I’ve been on cloud 9 since that night, he has been texting and calling me almost every day, calling just to ask if I was feeling okay, what kind of flowers I liked, and how I preferred cats over dogs. For the first time, it feels right, actually true and real. Compared to the last few years and the relationships I’ve been in, this falls at the very top of my list.

Ever since that night at the restaurant I’ve been counting down the days until I get to physically see him again, we both have been so busy with life that I'm only able to see him on Facetime.   

But today is the day of his game against the Jets and I'm so excited to finally see him again, and bring my mom to her first football game. 

My thoughts still swirling, I’m interrupted by a knock on the door, checking the time, I know it’s my mom. I run to the door and open it to see my mom in full Chiefs gear, also wearing a #87 jersey like me. I give her a giant smile before we pull each other into a deep hug. “Ugh, I missed you so much Mommy,” I tell her, getting a little emotional from not seeing her “Oh I missed you too my baby” Our hug lasts a few more seconds before we let each other go. “So, how's Travis?” she asks. Yes, I already told her about him, I can’t not tell her, we’re way too close for me to keep secrets from her.

I try to hide my smile but inevitably it pops out “he’s good, he called me today before heading to the stadium, he’s a little nervous” I tell her, she frowns slightly “Why’s he nervous, he plays absolutely amazing” she tells me “we know that but he’s more nervous about how they'll treat me cause we all know they're gonna be ticked off about me being there and doesn't want it to give me bad press” I tell her slightly frowning.

I look over at her after not hearing her say anything. She is slightly smiling “What are you so smiley about?” I question

“Oh nothing, this is just the first time I’ve ever heard one of your boyfriends actually be concerned for you, your feelings, and your safety.”

 I sigh turning back around and gathering my things to leave “We have not had that talk yet Mom, so please refrain from saying anything about that to him.” “Oh honey if you think that man does not want to be your boyfriend, you are very mistaken, if only you saw how he looks at you,” she tells me grinning.

Looking at her confused, I question “What do you mean how he looks at me?” she belly laughs from the doorway looking at her phone “From when you guys went out to dinner that night, I’m looking at the picture now”. I look at her in a panic and rush to open my phone and find what she is talking about. Opening Instagram I see a post from ENews.

Mouth agape in shock “Oh my god, I can't believe they saw us.” I say out loud. My mom laughs loudly “Honey no offense but you're a famous singer and he’s a famous footballer, of course, they would’ve found out. Look It’ll be okay I promise” I sigh a little in relief from her reassurance.

But I still have to let Travis know, that is what gets my nerves to skyrocket not knowing how he’ll take the information. I shake my hands a bit to shake off some of the nerves hopefully “Ohh man, okay let’s go, we will be even more late if we stay here” I tell her smiling at her assuringly. We both left the apartment.

1 Hour Later in The Chief's Family Suite

We both found our seats and ordered ourselves drinks and some light food. I lean over to my mom “So? How is it so far?” I question smiling at her “Oh honey this is so fun, I wanna do it every weekend” she tells me smiling. 

Before I respond we’re interrupted by someone calling my name I turn around to see Kylie and the two girls. I jump up to go greet them “Hey you guys, I didn’t know you were coming today,” I say while hugging Kylie she hugs me back responding “I know Jason decided last minute to come so his mom didn’t have to drive by herself” I nod smiling before turning my attention to the two girls and bending down to reach them “hey pretty girls” before I can fully greet them they both rush in to hug me “ugh I just love seeing you two” I tell them, letting them both go and standing back upright.

 “Oh you guys, this is my mom Katalina. Mom this is Kylie Travis’s sister-in-law and these two beautiful girls are his nieces” I introduce them. My mom stands to greet them pulling them each into a hug “Oh it is so nice to meet all of you, I heard so much from y/n, do you wanna sit with us over here?” she asks. Kylie smiles before nodding and guiding the girls into the seats between me and her. I look around searching “Where’s Jason?” I ask Ky “Oh he’s grabbing some drinks and snacks with his mom, he should be here soon.” she lets me know “Their mom is here?” I question with a twinge of fear lacing my voice. I can tell she noticed because of the sympathetic look on her face “Don’t worry Trav and Jason have been telling her amazing things about you, I know she’ll love you” she reassures me. I give her a small smile before turning back to my mom waiting for the game to start.  

A few minutes go by before we hear the oh-so-boisterous voice of Jason Kelce. Me and mom turn to face the sound and see Jason with a smaller and shorter woman. We wait for them to greet Kylie and the kids before I stand up to greet Jason “Hey, there my girly!” he says reaching to pull me into a bear hug.

 Laughing I hug him back before letting go and introducing him to Mom, he reaches around and pulls her into a hug before guiding us to meet Donna who he said was his mom's name. “Momma, this is y/n and her mom Katalina” I smile about to reach out and shake her hand before she laughs and pulls me into a motherly hug “Oh it is so nice to meet you sweetheart” After a few seconds she lets go “it’s so nice to meet you too, Travis talks about you all the time” I tell her smiling, she laughs “touche my dear” she smirks at me. I blush before introducing her to my mom. After all of the pleasantries are done we all sit down. My mom was on my right, Donna on my left with Jason and the kids, and Kylie on her left.

The game finally starts and we finally see Travis run out onto the field with the other players. Once the players are settled on the field I see him look over and up straight at me with a soft fond smile on his face, he slightly waves at me before turning back to the game.

I blush and turn to see his action brought attention to me in the suite. I look down to see some of the crowd taking pictures and videos. I catch the eye of one of the fans before smiling, blowing them a kiss, and waving at them.  A few minutes of this go by before everyone goes back to the game with fans occasionally looking back up here at us. In the meantime, me, my mom and Donna are all laughing and making jokes together. (if only I knew what gonna come from that on the internet). 

And as expected I look up from the field to the jumbo, smiling as I see my own face. I give a quick smile and wave before turning around and showing my jersey number with a proud smile on my face. Everyone gives a laugh before I sit back down and the jumbo goes back to the game.

The laughter halts for a moment after seeing Pat throw the ball and Travis jumps to catch it, everyone stands up jumping and cheering as Travis runs to make the touchdown with them winning the game against the Jets. The stadium breaks into hollers and screams, me included. Kylie still standing screaming for Travis reaches over and hugs me before Donna pulls me into a hug. We all hug each other before everyone calms down as Travis does his touchdown dance.

As the excitement dies down, everyone starts to gather their belonging. I’m then approached by one of the workers. “Hello, we were asked to escort you down to Travis and the car is that okay?” he asks me I look over at my mom, and she gives me a smile slightly pushing me towards the doors “go, it’s okay Donna and I are gonna go out to eat and talk some, okay” I smile reaching over to give her a big hug telling her I love her, I do the same to Donna “tell him he played amazing for me and I love him” she tells me I give her quick nod before nodding to the man and rushing over to go see Travis.

After a few minutes of walking, we hit the elevator the man guides me in before pushing the button to go down, a few silent seconds go by before the man slightly turns towards me “I’m sorry if this is unprofessional but Is it okay If I get a picture with you for my daughter? She loves your music” I look at him “Absolutely and believe me you’re not being unprofessional, how about I make a video for her, what’s her name ” he smiles reaching to fish his phone put “Her name is Jessica” I smile as he turns to video and I lean over to say a few words to her before he thanks me to put his phone away. I grab my phone and ask for his information “Is it okay if I get your information, I’d like to send her some stuff if that’s okay” I ask. He looks at me in shock before hurriedly nodding at me “Of course, you just made me the father of the year” he jokes at me, we laugh and talk a few more before the doors open and we’re greeted by Travis leaning against the wall with a few teammates. He gives them quick goodbyes before I walk out.

He makes quick strides toward me lifting me into a deep hug, his face pressed into the side of my hair. “Oh I missed you so much,” he tells me still hugging me. I relish in the feeling of his warmth before responding “I missed you too” he lets me go putting my feet back onto the ground “Oh by the way your mom asked me to tell you that you played amazing and she loves you” he gives a fond smile before it turns quizzical “you and my mom talked?” he questions. I panic a little “I’m sorry I didn’t know she was gonna be the—” he cuts me off with a laugh “Baby, it wasn't a bad thing you talked to my mom I was just surprised I thought she wasn't coming to this game that’s why” I sigh in relief happy he isn't upset “yeah Kylie said Jason decided to come last minute and drove your mom too” I tell him. He nods understanding.

“Anyway, did you wanna go home and watch a movie and chill for the night?” he questions. I nod profusely, excited for a chill night in before a concert the next day. “Yes please” I smile at him he gives me a nod before grabbing my hand and turning me towards the doors using his other hand to brush the back of my head pulling my forehead to kiss it “Oh you’re so adorable,” he tells me before stopping abruptly “what’s wrong?” I question he turns towards me “I was about to walk out this door exposing us to the world before asking you if you’re okay walking in public together yet?” I blush a little before raising my hand to his cheek “I am totally okay with being seen in public with you” I tell him proudly. He blushes turning his head down before nodding and clasping my hand in his leaning down and brushing his lips over mine. “Alright let’s go announce to the world I am the proud boyfriend of the infamous y/n l/n,” he says pulling my arm. “Ho ho hold on there a sec, boyfriend?” I question pulling my arm from his hand to get him to stop walking. He looks at me sideways “Um yeah, In case you didn’t know we’ve been together since I even looked at you that cool with you?” he smirks at me staring intensely. I blush underneath his gaze I ponder for a second “Yeah, yeah it’s cool with me.” I tell him before turning back to the door.

He nods also turning back to the door and we are then blinded by flashing lights as we are engulfed in the sounds of flashing cameras and screaming fans.

Why does this feel like the end??? Do yall want more of this series or no???? please let me know...

Taglist:

@whitemanswhore3

@bxdbxtxh15

@cixrosie

@kkrenae

@the-untamed-soul

@calirindo

@armystay89

@hotwheels1108

@awatt31

@bobthe-turmpetman29

@goldenharrysworld

#travis kelce #travis x reader #travis kelce imagine #kansas city chiefs

[adarafaelbarba]

Pleading Innocence - Joe Velasco x reader

AN: this thought has been stuck on my mind since the previous episode when Liv started the investigation... I'm kinda projecting my own anger towards her here ... soooooooo 🤪 This piece also has a Terry + reader friendship, where he's given her the nickname bee ... cause I think it's cute 🥰 And without further ado ... good reading ❤️ please reblog if you like the fic, would really help me out 😌❤️

WC: 1352

“You’re a real hypocrite...you know that right, Liv?” Glaring at your Godmother as you stood in her office, she looked gob smacked. 

Although you absolutely adored her, and loved all the moments you had spent together for as long as you could remember, you easily got angry with some of the decisions she made.

“Excuse me?”

“You have no problem defending Mr. Humphreys or your old partner detective Stabler! But as soon as it’s detective Velasco, you assume guilt!”

“They were both innocent—”

Your hands shot up in the air in frustration. “That is not the point Captain! The point is you didn’t assume the worst in them, even when it seemed they were guilty. But before even hearing Velasco’s side of the deal, you assumed his guilt! He’s done nothing but try and earn your respect. And you just stab him in the back at first opportunity!”

You could feel how people were looking at the two of you now through the windows covering her wall into the bullpen, not that you really cared. Hell, let them talk.

“You don’t even know Velasco! You’ve been here five minutes, detective—I’m certain he’s done what he confessed!”

“You didn’t really know Mr. Humphrey’s before he came to you!”

Fin stepped in then, suggesting you take a walk.

“Perfect idea, sergeant. I’ll go have a chat with McGrath.” You glared at Liv once more before leaving the room, grabbing your bag and jacket off the back of your chair on the way out.

…

You’d almost made it to McGrath office when Terry called you on facetime, asking what the hell you were doing, going above Liv.

“Chief McGrath hired Velasco, surely, he wouldn’t vouch for him if he was crooked or a killer. And then I’m talking to Velasco after. Get his side.”

“Wow, not so fast bee—you heard Cap, we’re not to talk to Velasco about this case!”

“Terry—he’s going in here blind. How would you feel if that was you being thrown to the wolves?”

He took a deep breath. “I’d be pissed and scared. But I wouldn’t want you or anyone to take a fall to warn me.”

“Terry—”

“I’m serious, y/n.”

“Velasco is gonna hate me if he finds out I knew but didn’t tell him.”

And there it was. Your real motive for wanting to help Joe. You could see it in Terry’s eyes that he knew there was more that wanting to save a friend.

“How long have this been going on, bee?”

“I’ve loved him since the first time I met him. He doesn’t know though. I never had the guts to tell him.”

Terry gave you a sympathetic look. “You must really love him if you’re willing to risk your career for him.”

That made you let out a small, teary chuckle. It was true. You would risk your life for him. Had this been a few years ago you would never. Your past was filled with once sided love, and troubled relationships. Past you would never have done this.

“You’re the first one I’m telling about this, so promise you won’t tell anyone.”

“I promise bee.” Terry looked at you in anticipation.

“I’ve been looking into transferring. Captain Murphy said there might be a position opening in Hate Crimes. If not Duarte says they could always do with more detectives.”

Terry looked stunned, taking a step back. “You’re leaving?”

There was nothing you wanted more than to hug your best friend. But you made a mental note to do it later when you saw him.

“Just need to get the papers signed at my new precinct, and then I’ll had in my notice with Liv. Regardless of this case or not. I wouldn’t be able to work with Joe anymore. Especially not if I told him how I felt. Liv would kick Joe off the force before I even got a chance to leave. So, it’s better this way.”

“Still hate that you’re leaving though bee.”

“Yeah, same.”

…

Several hours late you were back in Liv’s office, looking in on the interrogation that’s going on between her, Fin and Joe. Your heart ached as you watched him, wishing you could go in and hug him.

Terry and Grace stood opposite sides from you, rubbing your back, and making sure you didn’t run in to the room.

“They’ll see they were wrong about him; don’t you worry.” Grace tried. But it sounded like she wasn’t too sure about her own statement.

For the most part you just stood in silence. Tears streaming down your face as you saw how broken Joe was getting over this.

At a point you couldn’t keep looking, turning to lean your forehead on Terry’s shoulder, your own shaking as you started crying more.

Your biggest worries were that they were right about him, but more so, you didn’t want them to wrongfully convict him either.

“He’ll be okay, bee. You’ll both be.” Terry said softly, rubbing your back which also holding you to him.

You almost didn’t notice when they wrapped up in there, or when Joe asked, “Can I leave?” If it wasn’t for Grace speaking up to say they were done for the day.

Liv appeared in her office then, looking at the three of you. “We should talk, y/n.”

The others scurried out, leaving you in the office alone with her.

“Not tonight. I’m too tired.”

“I’m serious, y/n, that little stunt of yours earlier should have me filing a disciplinary action against you.”

“Then do it. Just cause you’re my godmother doesn’t mean you can’t write me up. You’d do that to the others.”

She gave you a warning look.

“But either way, it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m moving to a different precinct. Murphy offered me a spot in the hate crime unit. I’ll start on Monday.”

“y/n--!”

“No, Aunt Liv, it’s done. We shouldn’t have worked together in the first place. Work and family shouldn’t really mix.”

She gave you a sad look then, stepping forward a little. “Can you reconsider?”

“No. I’m sorry. I can’t.”

Then she nodded, putting on her best smile. “Well then. Thank you for your time here. And I hope your time with them will be good.”

You hated how a rift between the two of you had been created. But it was for the best that you left. Hopefully it would salvage the friendship.

…

Stepping out of her office again, you didn’t look back. Just went to grab whatever items you had, everything stored in your desk.

You left the building shortly after, skipping on the goodbyes.

“You’re leaving?” Jumping slightly at the voice, you turned to see Joe, leaning on his bike.

“Yeah, I was offered a new job.” Wasn’t a complete lie.

“Wait—I meant leaving as in going home—you quit SVU?!” He stood up then, moving to you. 

Maybe having so little that you could fit it all in your backpack has its perks? “I’m sorry Jose. I wish I could have told you earlier. It’s just—it’s been so hectic recently, and then the interrogation happened, and well—fuck it—I love you, Jose. And that’s one of the reasons why I can’t work the same precinct as you. I just—thought you should know.”

He stared at you, mouth agape. Then snaps back to reality and rushes forward, pulling your face to his and kissing you. “I—I—I care for you too, y/n.”

“You don’t have to say it until you’re ready, Jose, I can wait.” His eyes glassed over with tears at what you said, which made you melt against him, kissing him more, never wanting to stop.

“Let me give you a ride--”

“Yours please, I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

He nodded, pulling you in for a secure hug, “I don’t want to be alone either.”

Grabbing the spare helmet he had in the seat compartment, Joe helped you fasten it, then helped you onto the bike itself. “Hold on tight darling.”

And you planned on never letting go.

~~~

Tagging: @thatesqcrush @storiesofsvu @plaidbooks @beccabarba @itsjustmyfantasyroom @detective-giggles @muchadoaboutcj @misscharlielulu @cycat4077 @alwaysachorusgirl @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @bisexual-dreamer02 @xoxabs88xox @beatrice-san @meetmeatyourworst @bullet-prooflove @mysoulisasunflower

#my writing #svu24 fic #law and order svu #law and order svu x reader #joe velasco x reader #joe velasco

[hesbuckcompton-baby]

BAND OF BROTHERS TERROR AU. TELL ME. NOWWWW

OK!!!! I'm not going to put everything in here because I don't want this post to end up HUGE (EDIT: this post ended up massive anyway), so I'll talk about the main components and some stuff I like, and if people want me to go more in-depth and discuss other side characters I will.

Tagging people who commented on the original post in case y'all want to read @latibvles @fearlessjones

Herbert Sobel is the original captain of HMS Erebus - he is the Sir John Franklin figure, he's incompetent, and whilst many of his higher-ups know he is ultimately not suited to such an expedition, they let him lead anyway because they like him, and they hope he will finally get some glory amongst all his failure. However, perhaps his key flaw is his keen dislike for the captain of the HMS Terror, Richard Winters.

Ok, I KNOWWWW people are gonna think that Nixon would be a better fit for this role, because he arguably resembles Crozier much more, but WAIT. For those of you who haven't read the book, it is said that the HMS Erebus has absolutely NO alcohol in its stores because Franklin does not drink. If this is the case here too, and Lewis Nixon is stuck as Sobel's commander, this will send him insane over time. Nixon and Winters are very competent leaders, so for this AU to work I need to break them, and what better way than to weaken Nix from months of withdrawal at sea with Captain Fucking Sobel? Combine this with Winters refusal to indulge him with his own alcohol stores, and now there's a wedge driven between the two before they're even stranded.

But even so, Winters needs something that will impede his own leadership, and for him, I think that's his sense of responsibility for his men. Winters is always striving to find a solution that will cause the least amount of damage to his men - he wants them safe, and he doesn't care if they have to turn this ship around and head home to do it. But he can't. By the time they get stuck in the ice, there is no possible solution he can come up with that won't result in his men's suffering or even loss of life, and this leaves him jaded, wearing him down as the situation becomes even more dire and he has to watch more and more of his men killed by the cold, sickness, and the Tuunbaq. This will get to him, and it will impede his ability to think rationally.

Right, now for the Lieutenants. On HMS Terror, you have First Lieutenant Harry Welsh, Second Lieutenant Buck Compton, and Third Lieutenant Henry Jones. Whilst Welsh and Compton are very competent, much like their captain, Jones has risen through the ranks due to little more than wealth and connections. Whilst he could not purchase his commission, his family manage to pull the right strings, and now he's here with very little experience and absolutely NO respect from the men, already making way for the system of leadership to be undermined before things ever get serious.

On the HMS Erebus, Captain Sobel (And eventually Captain Nixon, once Sobel is killed) have First and Second Lieutenants Ronald Speirs and Carwood Lipton. These two are excellent in a crisis, and when the crew becomes despaired as Sobel's incompetency and Nixon's declining health as a result of his withdrawal, they are given the heavy burden of trying to raise morale and keep the men's trust as the situation grows ever more dire.

Chief Surgeon of the HMS Terror Eugene Roe has gotten a lotttt more than he bargained for with this expedition. Yes, he takes his job seriously, and yes, he came here to help people, but more than anything he just wanted to be a part of something real, to see the Passage with his own eyes and know he had helped to make a difference. But now his surgery is crammed with victims of the Tuunbaq and men displaying very unusual symptoms that he doesn't quite understand. He's losing sleep and he's losing hope, and he doesn't know quite how to cope with the knowledge that he isn't as good as he thought, and he truly cannot save these men.

Captain's Steward David Webster believes he's made for more than this. He's educated, no small feat when half the men on the Terror can scarcely even read, and he feels his skills are wasted running around after Captain Winters. But he comes from a high-ranking Naval family, and if he ever wants to make something of himself there's little option but to work his way through it unless he wants to be stuck doing this forever. As time passes, he begins to grow bitter at his position, which is why when Caulker Roy Cobb begins disparaging Winters' leadership, his words begin to make sense to Webster.

I've planned roles for all of the notable characters in BoB but I do not want to write a fucking novel on this post, so please let me know if you want to see more!

#bob terror au #band of brothers #the terror #the terror amc #dick winters #herbert sobel #lewis nixon #harry welsh #buck compton

[paldean-ranger-brandy]

✘ Your opinion on each regions ranger system

✖️ - no lies ask game

WOW that is a lot! I'm gonna be honest with you chief I will not be doing that. I have proper opinions on the union chapters I've worked directly with, but for the others I can really only give you what I've heard through the grapevine. I'll go in order of where I worked;

Almia: never actually worked here, but I did go to ranger school here, and ranger school involves a brief placement in a local base. Almia's chapter is... fine. They do a LOT of advocacy, a lot of research, test out a lot of new initiatives. Any time there's new tech upgrades Almia gets first crack. There's also no pokemon league here, and a LOT of rangers which means for the most part it is extremely peaceful. I find almia's chapter a bit performative tbh. Almia rangers are the first to tell you how they think things should go, even tho most of them have very little experience with all the problems competitive pokemon trainers bring. Also that's where head office and top rangers are. Yucky.

Fiore: My first REAL ranger job was in Fall City, so most of my experience is in that hub. Kinda similar to Almia, no real league, no competitive trainers, and a fuckton of rangers. They tend to be a lot more chill overall compared to Almia. Not in Fall City mind, Joel ran that place like a fuckin boot camp. I forgive him for it tho, he was finding his feet as a base leader. The union here is fine, but I will say there are a LOT of people-pleasers in Fiore that the citizens just kinda walk all over. Fiore citizens are so fuckin needy, they are most of the reason I don't wanna go back there.

Hoenn: my Homenn. I am extremely biased but this is top tier. Number one. Best of the best. Hoenn has the most knowledgeable rangers in the entire union simply for the fact that Hoenn's eco-systems are INSANELY diverse. Hoenn has every eco-system under the sun coupled with an insane weather system and has a team of dedicated rangers who collectively know all of it inside and out. I'm super proud to have spent most of my career in Hoenn. Rockstars, every one 🖤

Johto: trash region. Competitive trainers everywhere, breeding and releasing pokemon en masse into the wrong habitat. So much burnout among the rangers, especially the leadership. Union is grossly underfunded and disrespected by the rest of the region. There are some rangers out there trying their best to make a difference, but it's such an uphill battle that they end up burnt out in a week. That's just what my experience was tho.

Paldea: this place rules. Not as good as Hoenn, and largely funded by the league itself which is not unheard of but also isn't super common. This chapter is also decently new, Geeta was the one who pushed and negotiated getting us set up here. They fuckin did it right though, our chapter has enough freedom to run all the extra programs and workshops that make us actually able to make a genuine difference. Pretty heavy on the regulations, but most of them are rooted in sound logic so I'm not so bothered by this. The ranger school that's being run through N-U academy I think is gonna end up one of the best outside of Almia, they are killing it over there. Plus Joel is with me again 🖤 yay.

This got long. The only other regions I kinda know about are Kanto (similar to Johto), Galar (brand new and kinda suspicious), and Alola (fuckin top tier).

#paldea is somewhat understaffed tho so if youre looking for a ranging job come here #we'll train ya up so good #ranger lore #pokeblogging #brandy chat #2/10 #ask game

[masterwords]

Pairing: Hotch/Morgan

the hope of all we might have been

Summary: Peter Lewis is dead, and Hotch is released from Witness Protection into the wilds of Chicago. What's he gonna do? Well, he's heard that Derek has moved back to Chicago...maybe there's a chance at a new beginning waiting for him.

Words: 5.2k

Warnings: Um...none? I can't think of anything. It's pure fluff.

** THE CHICAGO TIMES COLLECTION MASTERLIST **

Notes: Part One of the Chicago series, a foundation for the whole thing. A new life for these sweet, soft old men. (It's on AO3 too, if you prefer to head on over there.)

**

“Peter Lewis is dead.”

Those four words should have felt more comforting than they were. They should have filled him with relief, knowing that he could have his life back. He could walk confidently back into his suits and into his office.

Except, now faced with those words, he found he wasn't that naive. He could have his name back, and he could have his freedom back, but that life was forever dead to him.

A month or two and maybe it would have been possible, but a lot happens in a year and that was no longer his department, no longer his team. And maybe he didn't want it anymore, maybe that was the real truth of it. Maybe the last year was hell, was torture, was nightly arguments with Jack about missing family and ruined lives, I hate yous and I'm sorry's spread thick and sour over everything they touched. Maybe it was hell, but they'd seen their way through it, and were emerging on the other side.

Not unchanged. His heart no longer beat for the BAU. If he went back, Jack would surely never forgive him.

But they had Chicago. Of all the places on the map they were offered, Chicago called to him with her endless towering gray structures, a bone kingdom to wander through and hide within. No one stood out here, no one was looking here. He liked it. The anonymity was ripe and comforting. More than that, the opportunity to knock on a familiar door after all this time, to be right near someone who could look into his face and recognize him for who he really was...that was the hope he'd held onto. Some days it was firm, others like water through his fingers.

“Did you hear me, Hotch?”

“Yes, I'm sorry,” he muttered, dragging himself back to Emily's voice on the other end of the line. He'd gone somewhere else. “I heard you. Peter Lewis is dead. How did it happen?”

“Oh, don't you dare start questioning ethics here, mister. It was justified, I've already signed off on the reports. You're missing the important point here with your pigheadedness...you're free, Hotch. No more hiding. You can do whatever you want. So...speaking of...do you want your job back?”

He blinked owlishly and watched as the room turned to taffy, the walls stretching tall and thin and long and wiggly. Quickly he sat, fell with a plop onto his too hard couch in his display room decorated apartment and tried to find words. Any words.

“Hotch?” She was getting impatient. He could be incredibly frustrating, but this was a new low even for him.

“I'm sorry. I - “

“Okay, you don't have to make a decision now. You can think about it for a few days. I know this must be a shock, you need some time.”

“No. I've given it plenty of thought. Time is not something I've lacked recently. I won't be returning to the BAU.”

“Okay that's fair. But what about the Bureau? There's a spot for a Section Chief, you'd be working with Andi Swann's unit. I know you and she are good friends.”

“My time with the Bureau...” he paused, licking his dry lips. It was a thought he'd had many times over, rehearsed, knew inside and out. But saying it outloud and thinking it were two very different things. “I'm retiring from the Bureau, effective immediately.”

Emily nodded, biting her lip. This wasn't entirely unexpected, but it did hurt to hear it. She couldn't prepare herself for this reality. Classic Emily, using her favorite tactic for self-preservation: avoidance. How many times would it take before she learned it didn't actually save her anything? “I was really hoping you wouldn't say that...but I get it.”

“There's no place for me there anymore. And things with Jack are strained, at best...I suspect he might never forgive me if I went back after this.”

She nodded. “Yeah. That makes sense. Sure.” She was hurt, offended a little if she was being honest with herself. The office felt a lot less lively now, surrounded by his books that she would have to pack up. All this time she'd refused to put down any roots, to change a thing. His nameplate was still in the top drawer, his photos of Haley and Jack neatly stashed...everything else as it was. She came in every day and sat beneath his law volumes and his binders, kept his handwriting all over the files, she lived in his shadow because this was his space. No roots for her, she was just a placeholder. And now that lie was exposed. A lie she should have accepted months ago. “So, what will you do? Who even are you without serial killers to catch and victims to save?” She tried to laugh, a forced little squeaking sound that came out more like a gag. She choked on her shame.

To his credit, he ignored it. “I'm lecturing at Northwestern Law currently. They've offered me a position, but with the stipulations of protective custody being what they are, I couldn't very well accept. I may ask them if that offer still stands.” Thinking aloud more than anything. His mind still hadn't really caught up to his mouth, to the way he'd officially told Emily he wouldn't be back. That Unit Chief was no longer his title, hadn't been for long enough that he felt entirely separate from it.

“Isn't that where Morgan went to school?”

The smile, just barely ticking up at the corners of his mouth, was involuntary. “It is. I walk by a trophy case every morning with a photo of him on the football team. Isn't that funny? The world is so big, yet so incredibly small.”

“Will you see him? Before you come back to Virginia I mean?”

He paused, quietly contemplating that assumption...would he move back? He supposed he had to make a choice about that as well. Jessica would expect it, certainly. And he did miss her. He'd walked away from Jessica and Roy, away from his mother, away from Sean.

He'd continued dumping money into Sean's account while he served his sentence, untraceable funds. Cash from his pocket to a US Marshal who handed it off a number of times until it entered Jessica's bank account, after which it was divided among she and Sean. Every month, when that deposit was made, the two of them could at least be comforted that somewhere he was alive. Still alive.

Of course if Lewis really wanted to, he could have found a way to trace them...but he didn't seem to be that motivated. Or clever. He hadn't counted on Hotch leaving the BAU behind, cutting all ties. By his calculations, Hotch should have dug in harder, turned to hunting him exclusively, the way he had Foyet. He anticipated having the full attention of Hotch and the BAU turned to him and when that hadn't happened...he was more than a little distraught. Did Hotch feel guilty that the BAU found themselves targeted on his behalf? Certainly. Many times over he would hear news through official channels, the Marshals, letting him know and each time he was more and more convinced that he had done the right thing but also that he should be there to stop innocent people being attacked.

The problem was, he understood why Foyet targeted him. It made sense. But this? Peter Lewis didn't make sense to him. Nothing he did made sense. Hotch didn't fit his profile. It didn't matter anyway...Lewis thought he could be Hotch's focus in the same way Foyet could, but he failed to consider Jack. When Foyet attacked, he had hardly seen Jack. He was nothing more than an absent father with nothing to lose. Now he was a full-time father with everything to lose. Playing the same game with a different man would yield different results.

Anyway, the cash was the best option and his only way of communicating with the people he loved. Lewis could have watched their accounts, hacked the banks, figured out who was making the deposits, track them all the way back to the Marshals and Chicago...but he didn't. He tried to lure Hotch out in other ways and now he was dead. That part didn't sit well with him.

“I'm not sure if we'll be returning to Virginia. I'll keep you posted.” There were some things, very important things, that he needed to do first. Things he promised he would do if protective custody ended while he was still in The Windy City. He was not in the habit of breaking promises.

- - - - -

“Agent Hotchner!” Fran exclaimed in her breathy smiling voice, opening the door wide to him. “It's so nice to see you!”

“Aaron,” he corrected with a smile. “It's just Aaron now.”

“Oh, right, silly me...Derek told me about your situation...but I assume that since you're here on my stoop, your situation has improved?”

She ushered him inside, nearly tugging him out of his pea coat and hanging it up in the hallway. He nodded, rubbing his sweatered arms briskly in the warmth of her home. He'd almost forgotten how inviting and warm she kept this place...he'd almost forgotten a lot of things, it seemed.

“It has. Jack and I were released this morning, the man who was threatening us has been...dispatched.” He couldn't use the uglier words with her. Silly, considering her son was an FBI Agent and former police officer, and she'd been married to a police officer. She knew all of the ugly words. But he could save her having to hear them now. “I had heard that Derek and Savannah moved to Chicago and was wondering whether you might have some way for me to contact them?”

He could have just asked Emily or called Penelope. He could have gone any number of ways, but the first thing he promised himself upon release was a friendly face. Not a phone call, a face. Fran's face. She'd always been a beacon.

“OTZ! OTZ!” A small, chirpy voice followed by the thunder of little feet slapping on hard wood floors snapped him to attention. He furrowed his brow, stared in confusion as a toddler came rushing straight at his knees. “OTZ!”

Fran laughed. “He's saying Hotch. He knows you.”

For a moment, he was so stunned he couldn't breathe. His lungs were pure fire. How Hank knew who he was by sight hadn't even registered through the immense pressure that came with simply knowing this was Hank. This walking, talking little human who he had last seen when he was brand new. “This can't be Hank...” he muttered, closing his eyes, picturing his large hand in that bassinet, Hank's tiny hand wrapped around his finger.

“He's growing so fast.”

Speechless, he stared down at the little boy who was wrapped around his knees. How could this much time have passed? Sure, he'd seen the way time had darkened Jack's hair and eyes, until the parts of him that resembled Haley were fewer...until he looked like a Hotchner. Time did that, but so slowly it felt like a crawl. “Hank?”

“ANK! ANK!” he squealed, backing up. “OTZ!” He pointed at Hotch and grinned, clapping. “OTZ HEEEE!”

“Yeah, baby, Hotch is here...” Fran cooed, lifting him into her arms. “Your daddy is gonna be so surprised. But aren't you supposed to be napping, mister?” Hank pressed his face into her shoulder and hid there for a moment. “Naughty naughty.”

“ANK SEEP.”

“Yes. Hank sleep or daddy is gonna be madddddddddd at Grandma.” She turned to Hotch with an apologetic smile. “I'll be right back. Please, have a seat. I'll get you some coffee.”

She didn't need to be gone long, but Hank never stopped babbling. At least he was planning to stay in bed for the time being, she lamented. He was a good boy, easy to put down for naps, not easy to keep there.

“Is your son excited?” she asked, handing him a mug of coffee. He breathed it in deep.

“He doesn't know yet. I didn't want to disrupt his day at school, so I'll tell him after basketball tonight.”

“Will he be excited to go home?”

Hotch, for the second time that day, contemplated his answer. “I haven't decided what we'll do. I'm on contract through the end of the year at Northwestern, and I'd like for him to finish the year where he's at.” That answer came out of nowhere. Apparently somewhere on his walk from his apartment to Fran's house he'd come to some sort of temporary decision, though he hadn't realized it until now. Some clarity was beginning to descend on him. “Jack likes his school; he likes this city.”

Fran's face lit up. “Derek will be glad to hear that. He should be here in about an hour to pick Hank up, would you stay for supper?”

“Jack has basketball practice until 6,” he started, not really sure how that factored into his answer. “I'll need to be home by then or he'll worry. We've developed a fairly rigid schedule this last year.”

To absolutely no one's surprise, Hank didn't stay in his bed. The excitement of someone new in his surroundings, someone from what Hotch could only infer were some sort of fables told about him...well that was simply too much to sleep through. “OTZ!” He came toddling out in nothing but a diaper, rubbing his sleepy eyes, holding a book to his chest. “Otz yeed?”

Hotch frowned, glancing at Fran confused. “Does he want me to read to him?”

“A dad knows...” she whispered with a soft smile. “That's his favorite book. It's called The Gruffalo, and you'd better do the voices. He's very particular.”

The book was an easy read, but there were a lot of voices and he had to dig deep, drawing on the days that Jack used to beg to be read to. One story after another, Jack sometimes wanted to drag bedtime all the way to sunrise if you'd let him. Hotch's voice went high in places, scraping and breaking as he became the mouse, and then dug low and deep when he became the Gruffalo. Hank was enthralled.

None of them noticed Derek standing in the entryway to the room behind them, his arms folded over his chest, silently taking in the view. “You do a better Gruffalo than I do,” he said when the book was closed. “But your snake could use a little work.”

Hank, with all his might, leaped off of Hotch's lap using his legs as a jumping off point. A younger man might not even flinch, but he was acutely aware in that moment how much those bony little hands and feet hurt when they dug into his thighs. Still, he turned and took a full look at Derek standing there in athletic shorts and what looked like a worn-out high school p.e. t-shirt and couldn't help smiling. “It's nice to see you too.”

“What are you doing here?” Derek, with his son now in his arms, entered the room. The closer he got, the more nervous he seemed to be.

“Peter Lewis is,” he began, but Derek nodded dismissively, not wanting him to say more in front of the kid. Hotch could appreciate that.

“Yeah, Penelope called me to let me know. So you're out of custody then? No more government babysitters?”

“We are. I haven't had an opportunity to tell Jack yet.”

“And you uh...you just...”

“Came here? Yes. I started walking to clear my head and ended up here. I hope you don't mind.”

“Mind?” Derek asked, breathless before letting Hank down. The little boy waddled off toward the toys in the corner, content now that his dad was home. Now that he'd heard his story and wasn't in trouble for not napping. Slowly, Hotch pushed up off of the couch, his knees creaking and groaning after being seated for so long. He extended his hand for a shake, quick and formal, but Derek wasn't having any of that...with both hands, he tapped Hotch's shoulders and pulled him in for a hug. A huge hug, wrapping him up tight, and Hotch couldn't help but hug back. He circled his arms around Derek's waist and tightened his grip. “I'm so damn happy to see you. I was worried sick. No one would tell me anything. I thought I saw you once...but what could I do about it?”

Standing and wiping the tears from her eyes with the tip of her shawl, Fran cleared her throat. “I'm going to go put on more coffee and start supper. Leave you boys alone...I think you have some catching up to do.”

Catching up. Hotch just wanted to look at Derek. He was ripped backward through the fabric of time to the memory of those first few weeks after Derek left the BAU, those days that seemed so long and so slow. He couldn't remember a time without him being there. Good days, bad days, always there.

Until he wasn't. “I missed you,” Hotch admitted quietly. Like it was a sacred secret, like Derek didn't know it already. “I was happy for you, when you made the decision to leave. To be with your family. And I knew that it would be difficult to adjust after working together so long, but it never occurred to me just how much I would miss you.”

Derek laughed at the admission and how inadvertently sweet it was, if not a little silly given the situation. “Of course you missed me. Why didn't you just call me ya dork?”

Hotch couldn't seem to fathom an answer to that question. Such a simple thought that had never really occurred to him. But Derek understood, even still. They'd always understood one another plainly with few words. It was more or less a miracle that Hotch is even here now, except that Derek could see something had changed in him. There was a lightness now that he hadn't seen in years, a burden that seemed to have been lifted.

“I've decided not to return to the BAU.”

“No?”

“That part of my life has reached its conclusion. I can't do that anymore. I've been lecturing at Northwestern Law, it's a good fit. I'll stick around until the end of the school year and make decisions as it gets closer.”

“Are you saying you might stay here in Chicago?”

“It's on the table.”

Derek beamed, he couldn't hide it and saw no reason to try. This was a new life they were both living. “That's great news.”

Hotch, realizing suddenly how long he'd been hogging the conversation, abruptly changed course.

“I've been so rude, enough about me, how are you? How is Savannah? And fatherhood?”

Derek didn't hesitate. He didn't feel inclined to beat around any bushes, not today. Not now. “Savannah and I split. It's all good though. Funny, we got into it over my job over and over...it took so many tries before I could meet her parents, you know? But we made it, we did it, and then her job is the nail in the coffin, man. She was given the opportunity to go into the field with Doctors Without Borders, and we were like okay, cool, we'll try it. She grew up dreaming about it, I can't say no to her dream even if it's bad timing.”

Hotch nodded, thinking briefly about Beth and New York first, then Hong Kong. He knew all too well about timing and letting something you love go.

“Anyway,” Derek continued, “to absolutely no one's surprise, she fell in love with it. After a lot of debate about what was best for Hank, we decided it was probably best if we split so there wasn't so much to discuss or figure out, not so much pressure. Don't give me that look, man, it's all good. We go visit her every couple of weeks wherever she is, Hank's a world class traveler. We talk to her every day. It's really good. I love the shit outta that woman.”

Hotch hadn't taken a breath it at least thirty seconds, trying to parse the information given with what he knew about Derek and his ability to put a positive spin on any situation. He was searching for the lie in his smile.

“Seriously, Hotch. It's good. We're goin' down to Brazil on Thursday for a few days to see her. She's finishing up a 6-month assignment there, then she'll be here for about two weeks, and it looks like she's off to Uganda for a few weeks before she gets her next long-term assignment. We're not sure if we'll be able to go visit her while she's there, her job is going to be working with patients with Ebola.”

“Does that worry you?”

“A little, not gonna lie. But she's a hell of a doctor, and it's a really solid program. They don't mess around.”

Fran poked her head into the room during a momentary lull to ask Hotch, once again, if he'd like to stay for supper.

“Yes! Of course, another time. Derek, will you be staying?”

“I would love to,” he started, smiling, “but I really should be getting home. Jack will be back soon. Another time I hope.”

“I uh...well I was gonna offer to give Hotch a ride home. If he wants. You good with that moms?”

“Go, go. I suppose I'll just invite the neighbors over. Someone has to want to have dinner with me.”

- - - - -

It went a little too easily from a short car ride through the streets, Derek shocked to find how close they'd been this whole time, to Derek and Hank setting up camp in Hotch's apartment so they could continue catching up. The place was small and tidy, not really very decorated but there were a few paintings of boats hanging around and at least that reminded him of Hotch in some small way while the rest of the place looked cold and lifeless. Boats.

Hank rushed around the place with Derek hot on his heels, pulling dangerous things out of his hands, sliding furniture to quickly cover up outlets and ultimately trying to carry on a conversation while stopping his child from constant suicide attempts. “I'm sorry,” Hotch said quietly, trying to help where he could while making dinner. “I suppose it's been a long time since my home has been baby proof. I'd forgotten.”

“No worries. Maybe we can have dinner at my place next time though...”

Next time. Hotch smiled at that and nodded. Before he had a chance to formulate an adequate response around the thunder of his heartbeat in his throat, Jack's key was in the lock. Tap tap tap, they key turned, then another click click sound. Their little secret code. It wasn't necessary, probably, but Jack had been pretty scared at first and Hotch was willing to do whatever it took to ease his mind. Besides, it had become something kind of fun, a highlight in the doldrums of their days when they could act like secret undercover spies entering their lair.

“That's cute,” Derek said, noticing right away. “Remember when we went undercover in Texas?”

“How could I forget?”

Jack was inside before they could extrapolate, before they wandered down memory lane. This was a dangerous peace here between them, without the looming BAU rules and regulations, without wives and jobs and all of the other reasons they'd used to tamp down this strange electricity between them.

“Dad?” Jack asked, confused as he dropped his backpack on the ground just inside the doorway. There was a hook on the wall for it, but that more or less remained empty. Hotch had long since given up enforcing that one, it had only caused trouble and he was very much of the mind lately that the less friction he needlessly caused, the better. There were more important things to dig in on, like keeping Jack's identity a secret while he was trying to live as normal a life as he could. “What's going on? Do we have to leave again?”

Derek, not one to shy away, walked straight up to Jack and wrapped him in a hug. Something he was sure, at one point, might never happen again. The boy seemed to have grown a full foot since he'd last seen him and god did he ever look like Hotch all of a sudden. His features were far too serious for a boy his age.

“No, buddy. We're out. Peter Lewis is dead.”

“Really? He's really dead? We can go home?”

Hotch nodded soberly. “I figure we'll finish the school year here and make some plans. Does that sound alright?”

Without answering the question, Jack kicked out of his shoes and a look of pure excitement flashed over his features. “Can I call my friends and tell them my real name?!”

“Sure buddy. Dinner will be ready in about a half hour.”

Dinner went late, all of them enjoying the company a little too much as it dragged from afternoon to evening. Dessert was punctuated with Hank's wide yawns and sleepy eyes while Jack worked on his homework in his bedroom, albeit a little distractedly while he called every one of his friends to explain to them his situation. By morning the kid would be a legend in the hallways. Hotch would have preferred a little more discretion, but at Jack's age that was a lot to ask.

“I've kept you too long,” Hotch said, staring at the incredible little toddler in Derek's lap. The reminder that time hadn't stopped. A beautiful and tragic understanding. “This is the first time I've actually talked with anyone but Jack in nearly a year, I've been greedy. You need to get Hank to bed.”

“No, man, I'm...I don't wanna go. You workin at the college tomorrow?”

“I have a full day of lectures.”

“Can I pick you up for lunch? I'm working at the high school, my schedule's not too rough these days...”

That was all it took to set regular lunch dates. Every day that passed made it harder for him to consider that leaving Chicago was an option.

The week that Derek and Hank were traveling made it abundantly clear just how badly Hotch wanted Derek in his life with something akin to permanence. He'd forced himself to live without him once out of respect for duty, but that wasn't an issue anymore. He simply wanted this.

They resumed lunch dates immediately upon Derek's arrival back home. He had stories to tell, some funny and some sad, some too incredible to be believed. "You should come with us next time," Derek said before he really considered what he meant by an offer like that. He couldn't take it back, and didn't want to, but it came with some heavy realization that he was getting in pretty deep here already.

"Yeah," Hotch replied without any fanfare. "It might be nice to get out for a while. It has been too long since I've traveled for anything other than work."

Some days Hotch packed them lunches, leftovers from dinner the night before or simple sandwiches like schoolboys. Spring had begun to take root, tiny little green buds opening to flowers and leaves, the sky turning blue, clouds spun like cotton candy and everything felt new.

Even Hotch. Derek would show up at the university in his P.E clothes, a little sweaty, ready for a walk through the campus or winding through the endless streets before heading back. Hotch hadn't bothered to clock his miles; he knew very well that the effort Derek was putting in to get there and back every day was more than him simply showing up at the door to his classroom. It was the reason he insisted on making lunch, it was the least he could do.

At the Ohio Street Beach, a favorite spot on the warmer days, Hotch felt a buzzing in his chest like a beehive overflowing with honeyed sweetness. He stopped, his feet sinking into the grainy sand, and grabbed Derek by the hand, pulling him close. Around them the city swirled, children screamed and played in the sand and splashed in the water while mothers and fathers called out to them to be careful, not to go too far. There was eye contact, charged and heavy, as they stood in the shadow of the lifeguard post and before he even realized what he was doing, Hotch was leaning forward ready to kiss Derek. Right there in public. Absolutely certain it was the right thing to do, the only thing to do. His body craved that closeness, felt wrong and naked without it.

Their lips met briefly, and Hotch closed his eyes, letting instinct lead where his head couldn't fathom. When Derek broke the kiss, sucked in a small breath, he couldn't bear to open his eyes, afraid he'd done something very very wrong. The apology danced on the tip of his tongue.

“I can't do this,” Derek whispered against Hotch's lips. “I can't get attached if you're gonna pack up and move back to Virginia.” Hotch felt his chest constrict, his breathing shallow and pained. “I know I'm already in too deep, but I can still...”

He was being so vulnerable that speaking above a whisper would surely destroy it all. Hotch didn't say anything, just stood there frozen in the moment, waiting. “We're doing pretty good since Savannah left, you know? We're good, Hank and I, but we can't...I can't get attached to this and say goodbye. And I really can't do another long-distance thing, man. It's hard enough with her and the travel that comes with it...”

“Derek,” Hotch whispered, smirking, fully understanding the panic in Derek's voice. He took a deep breath and finally struck up the bravery to open his eyes, to meet Derek's frenzied stare. “Could you stop talking for a moment?”

Derek laughed nervously and nodded, his turn to hold frozen in the moment. Waiting for the answer he hadn't dared to let himself hope for. Not at his age, not at this point in his life. “Jack and I decided to stay. We like Chicago, and it isn't much of a flight to visit Virginia. We're looking for a new apartment right now.”

He found, before another word was spoken, that Derek was plunging into a kiss with all his might. No more waiting, no more timid steps or whispers. Hotch and Jack were staying, and he could have this.

“You asshole," Derek whispered, pressing their foreheads together. "You could have told me sooner."

"And miss this moment of panic?"

"Jerk." Derek grinned and kissed him again, softer this time. He found himself unable to stop. "I've got plenty of room in my house,” Derek said between kisses, gasping for breath when all he wanted was to dive back in. “Move in with me and Hank.”

#aaron hotchner #derek morgan #hotchgan #hotch x morgan #criminal minds #fanfiction #jack hotchner #emily prentiss

[mad-maximoff]

𝙎𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙮 𝙁𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙆𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙧

Oscar Isaac!DetectiveXReader

(I’m uploading the first chapter of this new series here and if you like it I’ll keep posting it! If not than it’ll stay on Wattpad🤭)

Summary: For 5 years, there's been a serial killer on the loose in New York. Homicide detective Oscar Isaac has been hunting this guy down since then. He is haunted by the female victims this animal puts in his path. He has the help of Cherry, a prostitute working the street. Can Cherry help Oscar catch the killer? Or will the killer consume Oscar?

Warnings: Language, talks abt murder (this chapt isn't spicy yet;))

Word Count: 1,043

18 deaths in 5 years. I've been the lead Detective on the case since the first murder took place. All women. 9 of them were normal women off the street. 9 were hookers. Still innocent women. No matter their profession. It's been eating me alive.

"Ey yo hombre? Tienes gasolina eh?" I walked out of the bodega on 5th Ave in the Bronx listening to two guys conversation. "Compra gasolina, te refieres a hierba. Vamos a tener un problema." I took the first bite of my breakfast sandwich flashing my badge at the gentlemen who darted when I took another step. "Pollos!" I wanted action, they fled. Too many guys lean on my black beauty, sure, a 67' Impala is snazzy. You never anything like it around New York. My cases have been piling up at the station. All the same. Someone's mom, daughter, or friend goes missing. Then we find them in the alley. It's his same MO. The women are cut in pieces. Left arm gone, a part of their ribcage, and the cherry on top. The killer cuts a smiley face on the victim's face. Slits their eyes vertically and slices ear to ear across their lips. Reason's why we call him The Smiley Face Killer. A mouthful but it serves its purpose.

I arrived at the station as a rookie told me they needed me down at the morgue. "Jesus Sánchez, what do they get for me?" I threw my coat over my chair at my desk, adjusting my belt. "Another one. Number 19."

"For fucksakes!"

·:*¨༺ ♱ ☠︎ ♱ ༻¨*:·.

"Ey! How's my homie huh?" My closest and dearest friend Detective Pedro Pascal met me at the stairs. "Qué Pasa! The morgue still needing me?" I cocked my head behind his to see the morgue down behind us. "Nah, man! I already debriefed with the nerds in the freezer. Chick looked better in a paper bag." He joked hitting me with the case file in my chest. "Jesus man, have some compassion. Someone was murdered again." The slab to the chest winded me for a minute. I'll never admit he's stronger than me, but fuck did that hurt. "Oscar, come on. We have a really traumatizing career. We need to make light some days. Speaking of, are you going to the bar tonight? My treat. Bravest or McSorleys?" Pedro threw his arm around my neck as we both exited the morgue from the stairs.

"Nah, man. I'm good tonight, thanks for the offer though. I don't want to rub elbows with trigger-happy rookies. I'm up to my neck in paperwork this Smiley Face killer's gonna drown me."

"Fuck man...don't stress. Anyway, the girl lying on the slab had a lot of new info."

"Whatda you mean Pedro? New info?"

"Yeah, well, the chief said Smiley only hunts women in Manhattan, but most of the women were near the Lower East Side. Red light district."

"Hookers paradise, but what about the other women? You know? The non-prostitutes?"

"In kilometre radius of the Red Light. Besides, the two last calls the victim Rose called were Cate and Cherry."

"Jesus Christ, I know women of the night don't like to use their real names but damn! It's going to be like finding a needle in a haystack!" We both made it back to our desks and I slumped in my chair. I fidgeted in the pocket of my jacket to find my packet of cigarettes. I booted up my laptop to write all the information in the case file under this sick serial killer's hefty file. The question remains.

Is he or she after women because they have a deep-seated hatred for women? Prostitutes?

Pedro and I worked late into the night. Pedro was making calls. I wrote down the contacts in the newest victim's phone. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, it comes with the territory. Some tough phone calls home. With everything I do under this badge, calling a victim's family is the hardest. Screaming moms, muffled fathers' tears, angry siblings. You are either loved or feared. However, that isn't the reason I became a cop at first. I did it to somehow make a difference. It's cheesy. Every rookie says the same. To make their city and town better. Once you see the things I did you don't care if your doing the right thing. You just make sure you come home in one piece.

"So...Pedro! I searched up this phone number and this Cate number is linked to the red light district's top nightclub." I finished the last puff of my cigarette flicking the butt in my trash bin.

"Oh shit! Echo?" Pedro swiveled his chair chuckling to himself. "Haha! Where do you party? No. The Core."

"Oh hell no! That place is diamond tier man, you can't even get in the door unless you're screwing one of their girls."

"So is your mom available? I need to get in?" The eruption of laughter echoed throughout the station. Pedro's jaw flung open hitting his desk. "Haha! Go to hell! I'm just saying, the chick who owns the joint won't let cops in. Let alone a detective. The woman is disfigured. Cate Blanchett is terrifying." I turned my chair to back up my shit and call it a night. "Cate Blanchett? Where in the hell have I heard the name somewhere.." I whisked my coat off my chair. "Some of those young hookers we booked a couple of weeks ago spoke of Cate. Maybe Rose was one of her girls."

"So what is she a pimp?"

"I have no clue, Detective Isaac. Go home. You need the sleep."

"Uh-huh, that's what I'm doing tonight. Noche." I lit another cigarette pulling the door wide open.

"Buenas noches!"

There is only one person left on Rose's contacts. Cherry. I'll have to haul my ass to the red light district just to find this chick. This Cherry is one chick that will be hard to find. One drink might help me think of my game plan tomorrow.

#fanfiction #oscar isaac fandom #oscar isaac #oscar isaac fanfiction #thriller #serial k!ller #wattpad story #detective fiction #pedro pascal #cate blanchett

[wellntruly]

knighthooded replied to your post "Happy Day After Oscars Day"

oh man I've for some reason kept putting off going to see The Fabelmans (partly due to those trailers you mentioned) and Aftersun (because I need to be emotionally ready) but it sounds like I've got some tickets to buy

amelodie replied to your post "Happy Day After Oscars Day"

I've similarly been putting many of these off, so thanks for the insights and encouragement! I'm really curious about these parasocial critic friends though. Who are some of your favourites to follow?

Oh man, my close personal friends! Many of them responded to The Fabelmans and Aftersun so similarly to me, while also some others really did not!! But maybe the true ~magic of the movies~ was the different ways they affected us all along.

Here are some of my folks and where you can find them:

Richard Lawson, Chief Critic at Vanity Fair His reviews are on VF.com, and he's one of the co-hosts of the 'Little Gold Men' podcast, one of my stalwarts. Next week I believe they will be doing my FAVORITE episode of the year, the one right after the Oscars where Joe Reid (stay tuned) comes on with his spreadsheet of what's coming out this year and, sight unseen, they have to make their wild guess of what's gonna win Best Picture. Do they replay their predictions from the year before too? Oh you bet. A riot. I'll add the link once it drops.

David Sims and Griffin Newman, co-hosts of the 'Blank Check' podcast David is a film critic at The Atlantic, Griffin is an actor and comedian, and 'Blank Check' is their podcast where they cover directors' filmographies, in...depth. These episodes are long as hell. You know you're lost in the sauce when you realize that's become a feature not a bug. I have an intro episode! It's the start of their Bob Fosse miniseries from last summer, on his first movie musical, Sweet Charity (1969). I mean first of all you should absolutely watch Sweet Charity, dazzling and a hoot, but even if you don't see it first, this episode is so great. A lot of it is from their dossier on Bob Fosse (the Fossier), as the introduction of this series, so it's a lot of fascinating history and context of both Broadway and Hollywood at the time, but also they're just all in a particularly bouncy mood and it's a treat to listen to. Ben Hosley, their weird little sound guy of a producer, is basically discovering in real time that maybe he loves musicals?? It is so fun. Anyway. Lots of running bits, sure, lots of guests also (hi Richard!), LOTS of hours, but I just vibe so much with the way these two love movies.

Joe Reid and Chris Feil, co-hosts of the 'This Had Oscar Buzz' podcast Let's just stay on the podcast train for a stop longer. Joe and Chris are both Oscar historians and freelance critics, popping up on places like Vanity Fair and Vulture. Their podcast has the pretty brilliant premise of covering movies that once had dreams of Academy Award nominations, but it all went wrong. Their appreciable cattiness is perfectly suited for this. They also have really good film festival recap episodes, for the current year. Edit: Ahh I forgot my intro episode! It is this one from February on Magic Mike XXL, a film I have not seen, with special guest, their friend Pamela Ribbon, the reason we got this moment, and every moment in this episode where I almost crashed into something laughing.

Emily St. James, of, sigh, I guess just Twitter right now Emily was recently laid off from her job as a cultural critic on Vox, in the on-going horrors of the media job landscape. I'm sure she'll be somewhere else soon, and can't wait. I've actually followed her longer than anyone on this list, and this is where this gets so delicate and complicated!, but you may actually be more familiar with her under her old name, as she's been a noted voice in especially TV criticism for decades, and really shaped The AV Club for years.

Fran Hoepfner, Bright Wall/Dark Room, 'Fran Magazine' First found Fran through BW/DR, where she still turns out incredible essays on the regular, now a loyal subscriber to Fran Magazine, her stellar newsletter, and she is easily the best Letterboxd reviewer in the business (not a business). She's just so astute and so funny, how the FUCK does she do it! Best in the business!

Demi Adejuyigbe, of one million things but on Tumblr: the 21st of September music videos He's just on Letterboxd, but we should be so lucky. Any time I have relayed a Demi Letterboxd joke to someone they've lost their mind. Most recently it was him calling the white love interest in RRR Phoebe Waller-Bridgerton.

I've just realized that of course, ALL of these people are also on Letterboxd. Haha what a dumbdumb! I've gone back and made all their names links to their Letterboxd profiles.

Well I hope this is more than you asked for!! Will update with more people I've surely forgotten.

#replies #knighthooded #amelodie #podcasts #Little Gold Men #Blank Check #This Had Oscar Buzz

[octoberland]

I've been digesting the Loki season 2 finale and have a lot of conflicting thoughts. I'm hesitant to post here because I feel like I always end up upsetting people when I share my candid thoughts. But where else is my autistic ass gonna brain fart this shit? I feel an overwhelming need to share my love of fandom with people but it's not something I can often indulge in in real life. So here goes, in no particular order.

I ended up having to mute a particular tag here. I firmly believe that everyone has a right to ship what they want. But it was difficult for me to find posts that were just about the show or character. It seemed like every post was about that particular ship. FWIW, I don't have a particular canon ship regarding Loki. I'm ecstatic that he's bisexual but other than that he is not a character that I feel needs romance. In my fanfic I do ship him with Darcy. I'm sad they never got to meet onscreen. But not because I think they would fall in love. I just think they'd be really funny together.

Anyway, that finale. I am a fan and reader of the comics though if you quizzed me I don't know how well I would score. So my thoughts are mostly around the MCU plus a bit about Norse mythology.

I liked season 1 better than season 2. Season 1 had a very cohesive narrative both visually and with the story. For me, there was not a disappointing episode in season 1. I think that was in large part due to Kate Herron's passion for Loki and the amount of thought and research and hands on work she did for that season.

As much as I love Justin Benson and Aaron Moorehead, I think their chaotic style - combined with changes in the writers' room- led to a disjointed season 2. Some episodes were great. Others felt like they dragged.

Here are some of my chief complaints/disappointments overall of the finale and season:

Season 1 built up this romance between Loki and Sylvie as though it were a key focal point and then it pretty much got dropped in the second season. I don't ship them but I would have appreciated at least one realistic conversation between them about how he felt. Or even a conversation with someone else about how he felt. It just seemed like the whole thing was sort of abandoned? I know he looked for her and cried a bit but it was all very vague.

The crying. He seemed to cry a lot this season? And of course we do need to see more men crying onscreen but it felt like a little too much. Kind of out of character. The opposite of rage isn't crying. So if they were trying to show growth by having him cry a lot it just didn't hit that way for me.

It honestly felt like it ended on a low note. I don't just mean for Loki. Everyone seemed kind of sad and unhappy. And I know it's not a show about happiness but I guess for me there's just so much bad in the real world right now that I needed to see a message of hope. I needed Mobius on a jet ski. I needed Sylvie doing something nice for herself. I needed the people at the TVA to do whatever would be fulfilling for them.

And honestly? I needed to see Thor and Loki together even if it was just quickly. Loki had the power to go anywhere and any when and not once in all of that did he go see his brother to say a proper goodbye? Or even to his mother for that matter? I understand he loved his friends at the TVA and that's a good thing but it felt like everyone else in his life was forgotten. He never even made mention of them.

All that being said, I LOVED seeing Loki come into his power. Though it's interesting that both he and Thor only truly came into their powers after losing everything. Which leads us back to the sadness of the ending. I'm glad they didn't kill Loki. And I'm glad they didn't kill Sylvie. But I'm sad that Loki is stuck doing the one thing he came to fear most: living life alone. He has not had one single moment of happiness in this arc and I hate that.

In a way, his ending is reflective of the Norse mythos. True, he's not bound by a snake and being tortured by venom. But he is essentially trapped. And were he to let go then all the worlds would end.

So what does the future hold? I'm not sure. I think we've seen the completion of Hiddleston's arc as Loki. He might pop up here and there again but doubtful as the main Loki. I'm guessing we'll see either kid Loki or Young Avengers Loki. Personally, I'd love to see Agent of Asgard Loki. Whoever it is, they will have some big shoes to fill.

So these are just some of my thoughts. Not gospel. Just one person's feelings about the show. I will say, ironically, I do feel inspired to write which is something I haven't done in a while. Ironic because of him becoming the God of Stories. Though I gotta admit, the way he kind of sneered at Ouroboros for being a writer stung!

#loki #spoilers #loki season 2 #tom hiddleston #mcu

[sburbian-sage]

HEY, not sure if you get a lot of cherubs so maybe you can’t answer, but I HAVE a problem.

CHERUBS are generally either destructively or creatively inclined, and that tends to correlate strongly with our morality. IT’S also impossible to hide, because it seems to also correlate with whether or not we’re DERSE or PROSPIT dreamers.

I AM a destructively-inclined, DERSE dreamer.

MY other half is of course a creatively-inclined PROSPIT dreamer.

BUT despite our differences, we pulled though our first session together. I THINK because we didn’t know we would be playing forever.

NOW however, it’s our second session.

WE’RE teamed up with humans in this session, and they hate me. THEY think I’M EVIL, and that my other half is good, just because of the creative/destructive distinction…

I GUESS that a lot of stuff on the networks corroborates that, and my other half is going full-throttle on turning them against me. BUT I DON’T think I’M THAT bad, and I THINK if they would just hear me out, they’d realize that my other half is horrible and delusional, even if they have a saccharine veneer to them.

HOW do I get them to stop judging me, and get them to listen? THEY all have me blocked now, so I CAN’T just message them, and I THINK they’ll attack me if I JUST show up… MAYBE not since it would hurt my other half as well, but I’M BAD at keeping my cool, and I’VE NEVER had to interact with anyone besides my other half before, I FEEL like I’LL JUST incriminate myself if I TRY to talk to anyone in person. THE only reason I’M ABLE to send you this message is because with text, I CAN spend hours wording everything exactly right, and even then I WORRY that I’VE SAID something wrong, or not been convincing enough…

MY classpect this session, in case it’s relevant, is MAGE of RAGE.

I am going to be real with you chief, I've never heard of a "Cherub" before. I know there's Humans, Trolls, and I think birds or psionic dog things as valid player species, but never a Cherub. I'm not gonna write you off as some sort of prankster, because dismissing inquiries out of hand discourages further inquiries, it would be a crime to deprive the world of my advice, and it's possible I have some network issues that has kept this information hidden from me (in which case this must be correct as soon as possible), so I'll operate as though everything said here is true.

First thing's first, given how your "destructive inclination" seems to be an inborn part of you as part of your species' weird dualism thing, and people are judging you based off that, I think it's safe to say that everyone here (but you) is kind of racist? This isn't part of my advice, because running up and saying "hey guys stop being racist" to the guys that hate you will be the opposite of helpful, but I'm just pointing it out and earning positive reputation online by denouncing bigotry because it's bad!

Another unfortunate piece of news is that your classpect this session is fucking you over. Rage gets a bad rap among players and is subject to lots of misconceptions, because people think it's about anger and hate and stuff, and your coplayers will probably say "oh so you ARE going to destroy everything, if not because of your weird Cherub thing but because of your aspect". It's not that, just to clarify, Rage is about authority, control, and influencing events and moods from the outside (as opposed to Heart which influences nature from the inside). And worse yet, Mages are Cryptical classes who are not meant to be direct or forthcoming, they complexify the situation in passive manner. This means that coming forward and having an honest conversation will be actively penalized by the game.

I guess the first thing you could do is try finding out what specifically they've been saying about you. The references to "other half" seems to imply that you share the same body, which, I have no idea how that works and I'm pretty sure it breaks several fundamental aspects of the game, but if you can "switch over" while they're with someone, you at least have a few seconds to ask around. I know you kids with your internet think that if you can't use Pesterchum then you can't talk at all, but you can just ask in person (as you said, they probably will not attack) or leave a message or something. Most people feel inclined to respond in those situations, shunning is pretty abnormal behavior. Messages are probably best considering your self-admitted lack of interpersonal skills, but if you do talk in person, keep what you want to say in mind but don't rehearse, because it's easy to come across as inauthentic and if they break the script, you'll flounder. As far as keeping your cool, this is a skill you'll have to learn yourself. When I talk with someone who's frustrating me, I usually calm myself by remembering that I'm right, they're not, and that if I don't give them a reaction they usually get worked up themselves.

While I said before that your classpect is hurting you in some respects, there might be ways it can help. Mages invite complexity and mystery to the session, and often operate by leaving "triggers" for other players to activate, and this is a good opportunity to leave behind those aforementioned messages. If one of said triggers really helps the player because it invites control over something they were having trouble with, and it's clear you left it, this does a lot to endear yourself to them (as well as disprove any "evil" allegations). If worst comes to worst, you can use the signature ability of Rage, issues commands to things, and command them to [tell me why you hate me] or [listen to me]. I would advise against commands like [stop believing my other half] or [stop believing I'm bad] because those sound suspicious and they aren't permanent, the former are just small "stops" where they'll be forced to hear you out. I would also try talking to your other half (if you can? how does that work???) and see if you can't convince them that this behavior is self-destructive bullshit that jeopardizes the success of the session and potentially their own life considering you two share a body.

My last pieces of advice is that if worst comes to worst, "saccharine veneers" never last long. The archetype of "is super sweet and kind but is actual an awful abuser" is pretty common on the internet, and it's only a matter of time until the jig is up. As long as you don't do anything incriminating, things should work themselves out. Also, you might be a bit too kind or otherwise aren't that familiar with your current aspect. It's impossible to block Rage players. People who have tried either have the messages come through anyways, or their chat clients open themselves up/the computer turns itself on to receive the message. So you can always use that. Just don't come across as too desperate.

#ask and receive #cherubs #mage class #rage aspect #coplayer drama #sburb #replay value au

[greenandbluebubblegum]

Hey, you guess it Kinnporsche anon here!!

Hope you are doing good today!!!

I just finished episode 5,AND I JUST WANNA SCREAM. First, Kim and Chay are the cutest, my heart can't handle. Kim is already going soft for Chay, too precious. I'm sure if he is going to execute his plan, bc we can already tell he is going to fall hard for Chay!

Chay and Porsche reunion was so cute!! I hope we can see more from them!! (Chay making his way too my heart, he is so cute! If something happen to him, I am starting a war)

Vegas was so hot this episode. Like I know he is sus, and is probably plotting something really bad. But not gonna lie, him in the motorcycle scene was a yes for me

Now. Kinn and Porsche. HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO SAY!!!!! the first scene in the bed where we can see Kinn worries omg, this was so soft!! Then the parallel with their respective hook up mix with flashback from their night together??? So hot????

Plus, the tension between them, like we can feel they want to jump on each other and kiss, the actors are so Damn good for being able to make us feel that. Chief kiss really.

My heart melt when I saw Kinn's reaction when he realised he hurt Porsche (and, I'm sure Porsche was not just talking about the punishment). His walls did fall, he was really vulnerable for some seconds there (then he came back to his old self, but these few seconds was so 😍). Then the last scene, Kinn was so cute, trying to follow Pete advice. He is trying to make things better with Porsche. I hope they are going to have a real conversation, heart to heart, so they can kiss.

AND THE LAST IMAGE??? Where are they?? Ugh I can't wait to watch next episode!!!!! (if I saw correctly, they are handcuffed together, which is going to be interesting)

Also, Pete the first shipper of Kinnporsche. (his friendship with Porsche is everything!).

I still have so many question for who is the mole???? Maybe Kinn friends with benefits???? Big and the other one?? (I find their meanness to Porsche very sus) (please Big, don't be a bad guy, you're too pretty to be on the bad side).

Korn is also very sus?? He is always associated with the chess, maybe a image for him Controlling everything?? I'm sure he has something to do with Porsche. Why he is acting the way he is with Porsche when he never done it before?? Maybe he is the one that killed his parents?? Or maybe his parents was working for Korn, and they died while working?? Maybe that's why he is so trusting of Porsche, bc he knew him since he was a child? Or he trust him bc of his parents??

(sorry it was quite long, but I have many things to say after this episode, hope you don't mind!!! If you do tell me, I making it shorter next time!! 😊)

Have a good day darling!!!!

Hi! my darling!!! first at all I love your long anons so don't worry about it!! 💗💗 it's so fun to read your comments and thoughts about the series!!

So now!!! SCREAM TOGETHER ABOUT EPISODE 5!!!! 🤩🤩 So Kim, he really thinks he is being subtle about all his investigation with Chay lol honey you are not, he is lucky Chay is his fan and oblivious but, yeah Kim is going to have a hard trying not to fall for Chay because he is so precious.

Chay and Porsche 🥺🥺🥺 my heart, they are so sweet and cute!! Porsche loves Chay so much and viceversa! I can't! If something happen to Chay I'll be 🔪🔪🔪

Now Vegas, where can I start with him? he's wow but also 👀👀 because we know he is plotting something to defeat the major family but I can't stop looking at him, I'm the meme of 'I'm looking respectfully' hahaha 🥵🥵 (Also I know something that's gonna happen but I won't spoil you jijiji)

Ok KINN AND PORSCHE OMG!! the bed scene, Kinn knows he did it wrong and he is trying to kind of apologise but he is so bad at it!! (you dummy) and Porsche is so confused, I think it is because he didn't expect to feel what he felt!! 🥺 Then the way they tried to be professional and Kinn being scold by his father don't help their situation so a mess! But they can't resist each other, when Kinn was 'I don't care what you do' and then at night he was waiting for Porsche!!!! (I wanted to scream 😩) And the parallels of them trying to hook up with other people but they can't! AAAAAAAAA They are ruined for other people right? 🤭🤭 My poor loves!!!! 🥺 Also they are so stubborn!!

Thanks god for Pete!!! Telling Kinn that Porsche seems strong but inside he is a sensible person!!! You Go Pete King!!!!!!! 👑👑 also Kinn trying to control his temper was so funny!!! at least he is trying lol

Apo and Mile (Porsche and Kinn) are such a good actors 🥰🥰🥰 they are doing such a good job with their characters!! standing ovation really! Love them 💕💕

YES THEY ARE HANDCUFFED TOGETHER! I can't say more but next episode is 😍😍😍😍😭😭😭😭

About the mole, I'm sure Vegas has something to do in there but I don't know who can be, I'm like you here. I really think Big has a crush on Kinn hsjsjjss so that's why he hates Porsche so much lmao

Korn is really an enigma right? He has everything calculated but I think he didn't expect to Kinn being so affected for Porsche! I feel bad for Kinn because he wants to be a good son and good for his family but he deserves happiness too 😭😭

Look how long this answer is hdhsjjss ohhh an important thing, when you finish the 6th episode you have to go to YouTube and watch KinnPorsche Side episode!! It's important for the plot but I think they have to do it like that because episode 7 has a lot of things! The side episode it's only like 8 minutes but what 8 minutes 🤭🤭🤭

Anyway see you soon!! I'm having a lovely day thank you!! Hope you are the same!!! 💗💗💗😘😘😘

#anon #kinnporsche

[abbatoirablaze]

Bunk Mates, Chapter 7

Word Count:  2.7k

Warnings:  mentions of smut, sexual situations

Alex’s POV

"Ike you have to tell him before something happens," I said, shaking my head. Jan Damme cocked his head to the side, and I shook it, "babe. You guys could give the chief something. You can't go around replacing lotion with mayonnaise because he took it from you.  He could seriously get sick!  Please…just...Ike…"

"Are you serious?" Shorty laughed. He turned to Tad, "these guys are about to poison the hell out of the chief. Should we say anything to him?"

"Not our monkeys, not our zoo!" Tad exclaimed as he took another bite of his breakfast platter.

"Babe," Ike said worriedly over the line, "he's been looking glossy all morning. He has hardly said anything to us, and it's just me and Andy here with him."

"Well, where's Penisi, Lucy, and Granny?"

"Lucy and Granny had some bet going on about whether the dispatcher is a girl or guy, and cap disappeared."

"Ike, I know that Andy wants to prank the chief, but this is legitimately dangerous. You guys can't do that to someone."

"So, do you think I should rat Andy out?" he asked.

"Yeah." I answered.  I looked at the guys at my table, "do you guys think Ike should tell the chief that he and Andy were pranking him before he gets seriously sick?"

"Duh," Jan Damme stated as if it were obvious, "manslaughter is real, honey."

"Not our monkeys," Tad repeated. Shorty shrugged his shoulders, agreeing with Tad, “not our zoo…I’m not getting involved.”

"Oh god," he said. It sounded like he was nervous, "what did I do? Alli what did I do?  Wait…manslaughter?  I didn’t slice him up…"

"Ike it's okay babe," I said slowly, "Breathe. Okay?  Manslaughter is a term.  It doesn’t mean you took him to a slaughterhouse and butchered him."

"Okay."

"Now, go and find the chief and explain everything, okay?"

"Alright."

"I'm gonna go enjoy the rest of my breakfast with the guys, okay?"

"Alright."

"I'll see you tomorrow night at your place?"

"Yeah."

I could hear the smile in his voice.  I smiled at that.  We said our goodbyes and disconnected. Each of the guys on the C-shift were staring at me, "what?"

"You are so smitten with Crystal," Jan Damme said dreamily, “that’s cute…”

"Doesn't it bug you how stupid he is?" Shorty asked, “he literally thought manslaughter was something entirely different.”

"He's not stupid."

"Girl," Jan Damme laughed, "that boy's head is full of rocks. He's cute, but there's nothing there."

"He's just not smart about traditional things," I said defensively, "but he's an amazing fireman when it comes down to it.  And he’s probably one of the fastest people in the state when it comes to emergency medical needs and diagnosing people. And he's sweet, and caring."

"And that body is a damn fire all by itself," Jan Damme giggled, adding in, "Alex, you're lucky, girl. I know a few girls from other stations that have been trying to get on Ike Crystal’s to do list for a hot second. How'd you manage it?"

"I don't know," I admitted with a shrug, "I mean we were friends first, which I guess is probably the most important thing. I mean even when I was seeing Lopez. We always talked about stuff and got to know one another...”

“You mean after you two kissed at the strip club.”

“We didn’t kiss at the strip club, Tad,” you laughed, throwing a home fry at him, “we kissed at his apartment…and then we cuddled the whole night.  And then the night of the super blue blood moon some whacked out chick bit him. We hooked up that night...so I guess I have some partied out girl to thank for me and Ike getting together."

Tad cocked his head to the side, "you mean to tell me you would have never gotten together with Crystal had some chick not bit him?"

"Well, I didn't initiate it," I began, "to be honest, he turned me down once before so I kind of just assumed he wasn't interested in me. You remember how Aaron got all pissy with me towards the end of our relationship? That was because I was drunk from the strip club the one night me and Jan Damme went, and Ike took me to his place to sleep it off. Well, I tried to sleep with him, but he turned me down faster than when we get a call.  He let me kiss him but that was it."

"How did we not know about this?" Shorty asked, stopping eating his breakfast.

"What do you mean?"

"Karma is beautiful!" Tad smiled.

"Aaron stole Tad's girlfriend before. Ike taking you off Lopez is the sweet sort of revenge that is just amazing," Shorty laughed, "oh man. That's perfect."

"I didn't do it for some sort of revenge," I said, taking a bite of my French toast, "but you're welcome, Tad." 

"An annual beefcake calendar, what's that?"

"Oh, it's when the guys from the stations find a way to raise funds by creating a calendar. It's a big thing here."

"But beefcake," I asked Tad, "why's that?"

"Usually, the only stations that participate don't have any of their women firefighters involved," he shrugged, "it's been an ongoing thing. Normally, it's just A-Shift. We let them have it."

"Why don't we make one?"

"It's their way to raise money," Tad shrugged, “and we try not to step on their toes…you know, more than we already do by being the best shift here.”

"I mean I would kind of like to do it," Shorty added in, "is there any way we can make one, Cap?"

"Jan Damme," Cap said from his chair, "what do you think?"

"Why not?"

"Alright. I think I can talk to Terry," Tad nodded, "I think A-shift is doing a food theme. What would you guys want to do?"

"Hey C Shift," Chief McConkey said, coming into the room, “how are we doing today, guys?”

"Chief, what are you still doing here?"

"Well, I had to finish up some stuff for Council woman Price. Had to run her through the idea for the beef cake calendar."

"Would it be too late for us to take part in it?" Tad asked.

"You guys know that it isn't going to be the same as it normally is, right?" he asked, "Council woman Price has made it clear that there is to be no nudity. She's even going to be putting it up in the school."

"Well, what theme are you guys using?" Jan Damme asked.

"The food pyramid," Chief smiled, "Captain Penisi came up with it."

"Does it have to be educational?"

"No," Chief said shaking his head, "but if you guys do want to participate you will have to come up with your own theme. We can make a challenge out of it. A shift versus C shift. The better calendar will be our official one."

"Sounds great," Tad smiled. He turned to us, "alright guys...what theme do you want to use?"

"Are we really doing this?" I asked with a laugh. I was looking over the piece of paper that Tad had printed out, detailing what our calendar was going to be.

"Hey if we're doing this, we're going all the way," Tad smiled, "everyone remember to bring their costumes and props?"

We all nodded in agreeance and started getting ready. First up we were going to do the group shots. Those were alright. The only one I was not happy for was October. Granted I was wearing a bra, but to be decoratively covered in extinguisher foam, and then standing outside in the cold morning air. Me, neither Jan Damme were happy campers.

By the time A-Shift rolled in, we had finished up most of the calendar, getting done May through December.

January, Shorty laying on his side in front of a fireplace, a blanket hanging off his lower half.

February, Alex in red and black lingerie, seductive, Valentine’s Day themed.

March, Tad as a shirtless lumberjack with a bird on his finger for world wildlife day. Surrounded by woods.

April, Easter. Jan Damme is wearing bunny ears and in boxers, holding an easter Egg as if he's the bunny.

May, Group shot for National Nurses Day. Alex and Jan Damme are sexy nurses. Shorty and Tad are patients.

June, School's out. Shorty in a Grease style manner leaving a school, throwing papers up in the air.

July, Group shot for fourth of July. Guys are all in trunks and BBQing. Alex is in a bikini. There is a party going on.

August, Back to school. Alex dressed up as a sexy school girl.

September, Remembering 9/11. Tad in front of the memorial, saluting.

October, Fire Prevention group scene. Shorty and Tad in their fire pants, suspenders, no shirts. Using a hose to hose down Alex, who is holding a match, and her top half is covered in fire extinguisher foam but wearing lingerie. Jan Damme holding a candle, also covered in foam, only wearing boxers. In the background the house is burned down.

November, Jan Damme cooking a meal, in nothing but an apron.

December, Christmas group scene. Tad in red pants, no shirt, with suspenders. Alex in a Christmas teddy. Shorty and Jan Damme in elf boxers as everyone prepares toys.

Chief McConkey pulled in as Jan Damme was doing the April one.

"Oh, he's just hippity hopping into hearts now," he said, trying to make a joke. JD smiled at cap, and he turned to Tad, "you guys keeping up with the direction?"

"Yes sir."

"And there's no oil anywhere?"

"Why would we need oil?" Shorty asked.

"See," Terry said, his finger pointing excitedly to Shorty, "I like that answer. You wouldn't need oil.  You wouldn’t need oil!"

"Exactly Chief." Cap smiled, "Hey you wanna join in on this? We could make you June!"

"What's June?"

"School's out," Shorty said happily, "you'd get to dress up like Danny Zuko from Grease."

"No thanks," he laughed, "I'm gonna get everything set up for the A shift. You guys almost done out here."

"Yeah," I nodded, "we just have three more to do."

"Excellent, keep up the good work." 

It wasn't until my turn when I noticed A shift start to come in.  

"Come on Alex," Tad said, "you're up.  

Well here goes nothing. 

Ike’s POV

"Hey, you guys know that chief is letting C shift do their own version of the calendar?" Cap asked.

"Oh no way," Luce said, throwing on her robe, “what are they doing?”

"Yeah, I saw them this morning when I was adjusting the thermostat," Granny admitted, "I came in and they were cleaning up extinguisher foam off themselves."

"WHAT?" Lucy all but yelled, "oh come on, that was so my idea."

"It was Ike's girlfriend wearing it," Granny shrugged, "and that Jan Damme guy."

My head snapped up so that I was looking at them, "What?"

"Yeah man," Granny laughed, "I ever tell you your girlfriend has got a banging body? Because damn."

"Not cool man."

"Yeah," Cap agreed. I smiled at him for sticking up for me, "you can't just say that about Ike's girlfriend. You have to give us details."

"Woah, woah," I said realizing that he wasn't sticking up for me, "No offense cap, but I don't feel comfortable with you guys talking about my girlfriend and her body like that."

"That's nothing," Granny smiled, "you should have seen some of the other stuff they had her doing."

My eyes got wide, "what?"

"Yeahhh," he drawled out, “it was sawft.”

I looked at cap, "chief said no nudity. Right? They can't get naked."

"Listen Ike, some women should have disclaimers on them. Like they look so good it should be illegal to be that hot...and with lingerie on..."

"Wait, what?" cap asked, standing up and taking a few steps to the door, “When?  We have to go see.”

"I don't know," Granny groaned, "listen, I don't have my bush. Alright. I don’t think that’s a good idea, especially without my bush.  They’re gonna crush us.”

“What do you mean?”

“Chief and C shift made a deal that whoever’s calendar was better we’d use as the official one,” Granny sighed, “and they’re gonna win.  And it’s because you guys made me lose my mojo.  I told y’all I'd be like Sampson without his powers, but did any of you listen? NO!"

"I think what Granny is saying is that Alex looks hot af!" Andy laughed finally jumping into the conversation.

My eyes went wide, "I gotta see this."

What was she doing down there?

I didn't like how the guys were saying she was any type of way, and it made me feel nervous. What if they were taking advantage of her? Or what if the c shift guys were ogling her?

I rushed down the stairs, ignoring what everyone was saying behind me. When I got down there, Tad, the C shift captain was telling Alex to take her robe off. She dropped it and my breath left me.

"Shit!"

"If you guys are going to be ogling her, please leave," Tad said firmly, "We respect our fellow shift mates here, and don't need commentary."

"Alex."

"Hey," she said nervously. She waved to me from her spot on a pretty red carpet they picked out. There was a part of me that was angry, but the other part of me was jealous.  She bit her lip, “hey guys.”

How much of her had the C shift guys seen?

They didn't seem fazed by it at all.  Why weren't they fazed by my girlfriend mostly naked in front of them. 

"Alright, Alex.  Give us sexy.  Act like you want to seduce the camera!" the photographer said.  She looked around the room and focused on me.  The photographer stepped in the way, but she continued to look at me as she posed.  She acted like she was crawling forward, and then there was another pose where she sat partially on her legs. 

She angled her body and cocked her head to the side, but she looked sexy.  

"Alright, I think we got the shot." the photographer smiled, "next one up?" 

She thanked the guy and grabbed her robe, before going around the rest of A shift.  

"Alli," I said quickly.  She nodded to the hallway, and I followed her out, "what was that?" 

"That was February," she said excitedly, "the guys and I thought Valentine's Day would be a good theme." 

"You're not wearing anything." 

"I'm wearing lingerie," she giggled, giving me a little peak of it again.  My breath hitched in my throat, "Chief Terry said we weren't allowed to be naked, so we worked around it.  We're gonna sell so many calendars." 

 "Alli." 

"Ike, are you upset about how I look?" she asked. 

"YES!" Before I could think of how to describe to her how my girlfriend being mostly naked on a calendar for everyone could upset me, I saw the hurt in her eyes, "NO.  I just-" 

"You're embarrassed of my body?" 

"What?" I asked, "NO!" 

This is so much further in the opposite direction than how I felt. 

"Then what is it?" 

I could see the tears threatening to spill over, "baby, I love your body.  You have an amazing body.  I just-" 

"You just what?" 

"I'm jealous," I admitted, "I mean, I know you guys are gonna sell a ton of these things, and I guess I'm just worried that you'll find some completely ripped and chiseled af guy and just dump me." 

"Ike," she whispered, taking a few steps towards me, "I don't care about other guys.  I did this to help the station raise money, and it seemed like a fun idea...but if this kind of thing hurts you, I won't do it again." 

"You promise you wouldn't like leave me or something?" 

"Would you leave me for a girl you give lap dances to?" 

"No," I said quickly, "you're my girlfriend.  That's my other job.  None of those clients mean anything to me.  I don't care about any of them.  I just like dancing.  I couldn't leave you.  I love you." 

"What?" 

"I love you." 

"You love me?” she whispered, I smiled and nodded, before closing the gap between us, “I love you too, Ike.”

I love this woman.  

Chapter 8

#tacoma fd #firefighters #trutv #ike crystal #andy mywani #terry mcconky #lucy mcconky #lucy mconky #granville

[maeve-is-annoying-about-books]

Lucah: Born of a Dream is fucking rad and I'm gonna rant about it okay thank you

So. I received a Gift from a friend. And like... Damn I don't know what I was expecting but it sure wasn't that fucking meme about nihilism. Is it about nihilism? Was that the authorial intent? I don't know, I'm not fully for-real finished with it yet but the thoughts won't let me work normally. We're gonna exorcise them here at the halfway point. For reference, these mad ravings come after finishing the "neutral route" and having started new game + up to the first checkpoint. And, hey, Lucah deals with some really harsh topics, and while they're more artistically alluded to in the game, I will be dragging what I find out into the light in plain text. So, content warnings abound. Suicide, depression, and abuse chief among them.

Where... can I begin? Lucah is a game about fighting an evil cult. You wake up on a beach and go about wordlessly raising havoc on the way to an incomprehensible goal, fighting off nightmares in a dying world as you walk towards a beckoning tower. All the while and for every death a meter ticks up, threatening to get to 100% corruption as Darkness enters you. All this to fight the thing the church leader has become atop his throne so that you can... What? Jump off and hope there's water below. Not to soften the landing but to cleanse the soul upon impact.

This... leaves many questions. Namely, "What the fuck is going on? Did he just-? Did I just-? That person called me what? Does everyone have two names? Why? I thought I was-? And who are Anna and Naomi anyway?"

That's the trick. You can get led along with words but the real understanding of Lucah is in grasping the meaning of its mechanics. Playing through it, I find more relevance in its tones of guilt and nihilism. Not the edgy kind of "nothing in life matters", either. Something bigger still. All through the first part of the game, the beach, the way seals behind you, pushing you forward whether you want to or not. You almost can't get lost because the Darkness is so aggressively chasing you. The message is clear, move or die.

But like... why move? The game doesn't really dangle anything but exploration and vague answers. Having played to the end we can see Lucah's partial thoughts but it's all so very devoid of inherent meaning. Michael/Christian is the one with the holy mission from Father. He has an end goal, he wants forgiveness and love. Lucah? They're just here, pressing forward because there's nothing else to do. But... That hollow reasoning is also your salvation from the fates the others fall to. Each one is giving their life for a greater goal and getting nothing in return for it. Because the powers they pray to have nothing to give. Because there is nothing left in Lucah's world.

I don't think it's any coincidence that the move that fills your corruption meter empowers you. Entreating nothingness is your tool to fight off those who create intricate systems of guilt to serve themselves as much as it helps against the Nightmares present in everyday exploration. It's also REALLY EASY to overdose on and put yourself in a position where you max out your corruption. To fade away into that nothingness. You have to balance your transformation, or not entreat it at all, or you'll never finish the game. But what else is there?

Well, there's the cult/church. There's even someone in it who offers to reduce your corruption but... I don't know. Do I really trust people who ran a bloodsport arena, put children they abused in it, and ascend into unthinking monsters? I certainly couldn't make Lucah take absolution. From them? After that? This church is the epitome of religious abuse, and the start of new game plus only confirms it. They renamed the children, tried to mold them into whatever they wanted, instilled fear about the big scary world beyond. Even though they are an active force making it that way. "Be afraid of the Nightmares!" They say, and then make another one with their own two hands. Anything to reach their own ascension. The world was put there for them, the heavens are their right by virtue of birth. So no. I do not need your help clearing my corruption, thank you very much. I will go my own way.

What is Lucah's way? I don't know. They're so quiet. One single time, dialogue options appeared around them, but I couldn't pick anything but silence. Like I was reading Lucah's racing thoughts as they were asked why they fight if not for salvation. Not picking what I felt. No, there was no concrete reasoning there. I think it is in the other things, though. You find a little buddy that shoots things and travel with it. Michael has one too, they don't talk. They're never talked about, so what am I supposed to do but supply my own meaning? The same for the virtues, and the mantras. The same for my style of combat, even. I found it best to simply wait for parry chances. Take it easy when a nightmare shows up, then methodically break it down my using the Mantra of Thanatos. And the game... just let me. It said "cool, you having fun?" And y'know what? Yeah, I kind of am. On my play I didn't need to embrace nothingness and I didn't need salvation, I just carried on and hoped I could at least save Michael. Now on NG+ I wish I could save the others too.

There's something very similar to the feeling of Nier in Lucah's story. That even though those worlds are effectively doomed you're still there. There's still awhile longer to ascribe your own meaning to things. Or just climb a tower because it's there. Explore a house, play a game, find little motes of meaning I can add onto the tapestry that is Lucah and make them truly their own person.

Yeah. That's what I think Lucah is about. This neutral, first playthrough anyway. The opening of NG+ has already set something new up, so let's see where it takes us.

#Lucah: Born of a dream #long little essays #play this game #Lucah born of a dream #seriously the metatext is very finely done #you don't need the story you just gotta get lost in the sauce a little

[tottwritesfanfic]

alright i want to apologise in advance a bit, because I recently tripped and fell into another BNHA fixation, and it's sorta getting in the way of my other stuff.

So. If I look as if I've jumped fandoms for the next however long...I really haven't. I just added to the pile, and I'm returning to my old VR AU because holy ensemble cast, it sure does scratch that itch.

...is it bad that ensemble casts are basically a prerequisite for any fandom I might get invested in enough to write for?

Anyway, not the point. The point is that I'm channelling my current obsession into NaNo this year (as co-ML for Kent's region I try to give it my all when I participate!), so I'm afraid everything else is probably not going to get much love for the next few weeks or so.

Probably. I know what I'm like, and I usually find it hard to stick to one project at a time, especially if I don't want to burn out. TBH, that's the other reason I'm doing this - so far, the only part of this AU i've posted is a standalone prequel fic which no one really cared about anyway because it had no ships. So if I burn out and this goes nowhere, at least I haven't left anyone hanging, right?

Also, if you want to take a peek at any of the decidedly excessive worldbuilding notes I've been putting together for the last couple of weeks, just hit me up. So far there's like...10k of it, including my musings on how the hell to turn quirks into VR hacks which make sense on a digital platform. Some of these are more straightforward than others, let me tell you.

I am also decidedly in love with how OFA/AFO works in this setting, but that's for me to know and you to find out if I ever get as far as posting this damn thing.

also also dropping this here because I can and it gives you a bit of an idea of the setting: In the AU, basically the surface of the planet got screwed over a couple of hundred years ago, and everyone lives underground, logging into a VR world where they can roleplay as pre-disaster humans for the sake of their sanity for their waking hours. Quirks are basically government-sanctioned hacks which people apply to their VR accounts, because ultimately it was easier to legitimise and legislate them than try and get people to stop doing that. A chief problem in the story is dealing with the fallout of an entire world of people who no longer remember how to touch grass. (It's a lot more serious than this, but basically my planning seriousness is inversely proportionate to the tone of the fic itself, and I just. I cannot talk about my work in any other way.)

Here's a snippet from my planning document to give you an example:

Aizawa is just a regular-ass dude who got his hero licence in spite of his Exploit rather than because of it. He’s also IRL ripped because his eye problems aren’t exactly conducive to 16 hours of screentime a day. This is why no fucker has heard of him, because all his heroics happen in short, irate bursts before he logs out to dose up on fucking eye drops.

His chief strength in this AU is not a borderline gamebreaking exploit, it’s the fact that he can, like, actually function in the real world a hell of a lot better than most folks.

Which meeeeeeaans, that he becomes 1A's teacher in the real world, after they all realise they need to buff up for this shit because they’re (mostly) totally clueless on how to function outside of the Interface. In this fic, UA is basically 1A's super secret offline school where they learn proper fitness and agility, and the physical, mechanical skills they’re gonna need in order to pull off the heist of the century. Hahaha, Aizawa is gonna be That Guy who is super strict about everyone’s screen time lmao.

#tott's life #progress update #bnha stuff #Interfaced With Reality #ah man it actually feels good to be able to type that series title again? #I genuinely really loved working on this AU before #and i'm super excited to work on it again #not least of all because there are SO MANY THINGS which the manga has made more interesting since i last did anything with bnha

[harmcityherald]

I was 100% correct about the dispensary. patients will still need to pay 200$ to get their medical card while jimmy joe bob in front of me gets scott free AND there's no days for patients only. just think they say you (patients) get all these great deals we run instead. recreational dont get that measly 20% off. the great deals that ain't so great and you are out of stock now anyway. you people fucking suck. give me my weed you fucking pirate. I have to tell you the loyalty I had to this place is now dead. I need to find a patients only dispensary. dont exist. why? capitalistic greed. lies from the state oh we will set aside the highest strains for patients. the ones that cost the most, mind you. boy what a fucking favor. im so beside myself. if it were fucking true. stock is fucking gone. I had to choose what I didn't want and pay extra for it. I made no bones about it. cash out all my points Im not coming back here anymore. you shit on your patients who are supposed to be your priority. so Im on the lookout for a better experience as a real patient with my fake ass medical card that I have to continue to pay for according to some shitstain in a suit up in Annapolis state hall who has never even smelled weed but he sure is taking my 200 a year for the weed license which in the state of MD you get cannabis card you can not get a concealed carry license. so Im gonna bet the recreational shitheads have no such restrictions only us patients who followed the rules and paid our dues diligently. we bare the brunt of the taxation laws. we gotta pay for the license, we can no longer carry concealed protection but the fucking crips ahead of me in line have no problem whatsoever. fuckong state of Maryland. what a fucking joke. we pay higher taxes than the rest of the country to live in a crumbling city infested with rats and 9 times out of ten has been honored as the murder capital of the entire united fucking states. they tax you coming and going and even once tried to tax us for fucking rain. rain!! they tax us dry like wringing out a rag for every last drop of blood they can suck from you. and in Baltimore we see none of those taxes go towards anything usefull. our roads are like endless crumbling pot holes destroying our cars and defacing our neighborhoods. my neighbors and I all have 4 wheel drive suvs and its even tearing them up because these fucking side streets are like mountain ranges. its fucking unacceptable. those taxes we pay in the fucking billions goes nowhere in the city or county except into the deep pockets of all the corrupt politicians in baltimore. and don't even try to tell me that the Baltimore city in Baltimore County police forces are in fucking cahoots with the area gangs. They stand back take their cuts and only see what they want to see. Unless of course, which we've had quite a few of them in Baltimore, are the cops that are totally on the take and are out there making their own money on drugs and prostitution and whatever else they can get their hands on. I know I've been guilty at times of saying all cops are bastards but I'm actually too intelligent to actually fall for that because there are some good cops out there and they sure are drowning and swamped in a sea of the fucking corruption. And don't even try to tell me that the politicians and the police in Baltimore are in the pockets of the gangs. There's so much money to be made and they sure are making it off the backs of the citizens of Baltimore. So as far as I'm concerned from the top down from the politician and the police Chiefs down to the officers working the street and into my dispensary where these fucking clowns are pretty much doing the same corrupt things that All State agencies do. The best thing to remember is that your dispensary is not a state run agency it is a for-profit business and they do not really give a fuck whether you are patient or a drug dealer or a teenager hookin school if you got the money baby they got the stash. Fuck them patients. We going to get paid.

I hate America. And somehow I'm supposed to feel a privilege through all this as if I'm privileged in some way. Every fucking thing under the sun is a crock of shit. Learn it early and you won't be disappointed by the amount and tonnage of shit that you will find in your life. Thank you very much ciao now and have a good day I'm going to go be miserable somewhere else.

[bucky-at-bedtime]

Stucky Fic Recs

So basically I went through all of my ao3 bookmarks and collated a list of some of my favourites (I couldn't fit all of them on this list, so if anyone shows interest there might be a part two).

Please read tags and descriptions of the works before reading, some of them are pretty dark or extremely horny so just make sure you check that the fic is for you!!

Please please please send me your favourite fics in return! I am always happy to hear fic recs, headcanons and any other ideas/comments you all have!

Without any further ado, here are a few of my favourite Stucky fics:

‘Not Easily Conquered’ series by dropdeaddream, WhatAreFear

Rating: M, Words: 117,692

https://archiveofourown.org/series/115516

“I told you, you heard me: I told you never to follow me into Hell. Now I’m not vain enough to think that’s why you’re out here now — if there’s any person in what’s left of this God forsaken planet who’s part of a bigger picture, it’d be you. But I’ll keep saying it until it sticks. You got nothing to prove. I’m not worth much, I damn well know that, but I’ll ask you anyway: Stay for me. If you leave me alone in this world I’ll turn into something terrible. I’ll turn into the nasty creature that’s growing inside me. This war, it’ll swallow me whole”

[To me, this fic is like the classic Stucky 101 fanfic – if you're a Stucky fan and you haven't read this, I highly recommend it. The authors explore the Steve/Bucky relationship in such an interesting, tragic, emotive way and I cry every time I read it. I couldn't praise this work enough.]

‘Ain’t No Grave’ series by spitandvinegar

Rating: M-E, Words: 131,789

https://archiveofourown.org/series/426577

"Yeah, he never calls me by my name," Steve says. "It's always champ, ace, hotshot, that kinda thing."

"Man, that is flirting," Sam says. "That nicknames thing, he is flirting with you. He's just working his way up to calling you baby or something."

Steve goes redder than a damn coke can. Sam pumps his fist. "Yes, I am so right, I am wise as hell. He did, didn't he?"

"He called me sweetheart," Steve says grimly, "because he's a drug addict with brain damage."

"Or because he looooooves you," Sam says. Captain America throws a cookie at his head. Sam eats it, because he deserves a treat for being so damn wise.”

[I'm currently re-reading this fic and absolutely loving it. The way spitandvinegar writes Bucky's road towards recovery and Steve's entire characterisation – it's all just so good. It's another one that covers some pretty dark themes, so make sure you're checkin those tags!]

'Einherjar' by thecommodore_squid

Rating: M, Words: 71297

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7157024/chapters/16249814

But Steve was fine.

Sure, he hadn’t seen Bucky in months, and sometimes he was at the punching bag so long that his skin started to peel off to expose the bones of his fingers, and sometimes he couldn’t find the energy to drag himself out of bed, and sometimes he went weeks without sleeping, and sometimes he thought about throwing himself head-first off the nearest tall structure, but he was fine.

He was absolutely, perfectly, one-hundred percent, fucking fine.

AKA In which Steve learns how to deal with his shit, and Bucky learns how to stop leaving.

[basically the definition of a recovery fic, I absolutely adore it. This is tragic and amazing and makes me cry and smile. It’s got a bunch of fantastic cameos and It really just ticks so many of my boxes.]

‘Like real People do’ by 2bestfriends

Rating: E, Words: 67,775

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19887376/chapters/47103217

“"Ask me what?" demands Bucky. "I didn't hear a question."

Steve licks his lips. "Will you stay with me? Will you come back home, Buck?"

"Home," repeats Bucky in a small voice, and then he's crying for real.”

[Basically soft lumberjack!steve and lonely twink!bucky being horny and in love. This is a comfort fic for that’s really just about my favourite boys falling in love.]

‘This City Bleeds it’s Aching Heart’ by anonymous

Rating: E, Words: 34,537

https://archiveofourown.org/works/835829/chapters/1591736

“The one where Steve and Bucky pose as a happily married couple while on a mission for SHIELD, to catch an international arms dealer hiding in a suburban neighbourhood.”

[The plot in this one is just a good time and i think it’s just a really fun take on the fake relationship trope. Also some really great characterisation.]

‘Home is Wherever I’m With You’ by cydonic

Rating: E, Words: 88,570

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18868081/chapters/44783077

“Bucky kisses Steve and Emma goodbye before they leave for school, which is why – partway down the road – Amelia turns to him and asks, “why are you and Daddy kissing?”

Which is definitely a conversation Bucky’s been expecting since Steve just did it, but it still takes him by surprise. Again, he thinks he should wait for Steve, but Amelia’s not the sort of kid to let anything rest. Plus, Bucky’s taking her to school where she will undoubtedly share the story with anyone who’ll listen.

He also stops to think that Steve’s asked him to stay, which means Bucky must be trusted with their happiness and well-being, at least in some small capacity.

Bucky clears his throat and searches for some explanation that will help Amelia make sense of this sudden turn of events. “Because we love each other,” is all he comes up with.”

[Bear with me, this is a House Flipper!Bucky Au. And dad!Steve. I just love a found family trope I’m not gonna lie to you. Another comfort fic that warms my lil heart.]

‘Lucky Seven’ by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves)

Rating: E, Words: 94,364

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7033105/chapters/16002481

“Back from where--?” James says, the sentence ending in a distinctly undignified squawk as Steve sweeps him up in his arms, bridal-style, and starts carrying him upstairs.

James tenses momentarily then relaxes into Steve's arms and throws back his head and starts laughing. The laughter peals out of him, his body shaking, his amusement occasionally broken by little gasps of pain.

“What's so funny?” Steve frowns.

“You are,” James says, still giggling. “You're ridiculous, Steve Rogers.”

“Behave. Or I will drop you,” Steve growls.

[The shrunkyclunks modern AU of my dreams featuring Mechanic!Bucky and cap!Steve and some really beautiful writing.]

'Dishonor On Your Cow' by mandarou

Rating: E, Words: 111695

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10659162/chapters/23589582

“Sergeant Barnes?”

“Oh, hell no, don’t call him that, man,” Sam warned.

“Captain Fuck Off!” Barnes shouted over him. “Fight me!”

Steve didn’t know whether to laugh or just slink away. He managed to combine the two by pacing two steps and snorting instead. Like a bull.

“I’m gonna need you to calm your ass, Barnes,” Sam said as he went limp again, obstructing Barnes’s struggling under him. “This is so undignified. That is Captain goddamn America.”

“Captain goddamn America!” Barnes repeated, louder. And angrier.

Steve cleared his throat again. “I’ve been looking for you,” he told Barnes.

“I hope you brought lube this time!” Barnes shouted.

[I’m not gonna lie it took me a minute to get into this one but by the end I was crying with them, laughing with them, and just really in my feels. Some very insane things happen so here’s a few of my favourite tags: ‘Seargent Barnes is done with your Shit Steve’, ‘blatant disrespect of a man’s motorcycle’, ‘Steve you ding dong’ and ‘PR nightmares in the form of Supersoldiers’.]

Propietary Information by Notlucy

Rating: E, Words: 85141

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11964402/chapters/27054777

“Okay, so Bucky Barnes has a crush on Steve Rogers. The guy's gorgeous, talented and, oh yeah, the Chief Design Officer of the biggest tech company in the world. In other words: he's so far out of Bucky's league that he might as well be in a different stratosphere.”

[We were never gonna get through this list without a Sugar Daddy!AU (I have a weakness). This one is… saucy and sexy and sweet and uh pretty kinky so read the tags and all. I’ve read it a few times, and I love the way the author has written Steve in this one, he just makes my heart go '!!!']

‘Roots Have Grown’ by AustinB

Rating: M, Words: 17280

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6912451/chapters/15767941

“Bucky is a mildly agoraphobic veteran with funds to spare, who becomes enamored with the cute blonde guy in his building.

So when Steve mentions needing a roommate to cut down on rent costs, Bucky decides it would be a good idea to volunteer.”

[Another weakness of mine is Roommate AUs, and this one is phenomenal. I tend to go for post serum!Steve stories more often, but this is a pre-serum Steve that I just adore.]

‘The Cold Never Bothered me Anyway’ by icoulddothisallday

Rating: E, Words:75562

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11728869/chapters/26425530

“Bucky Barnes has spent his whole life in a state of mild hypothermia. Steve Rogers has spent the last 70 years in the ice. The two things aren’t related until, suddenly, they are. Shrunkyclunks soulmate AU (AKA the awkward bb au).”

[I think this is the only soulmate AU in my bookmarks? I would totally be down to read more though! This one is really fun and really enjoy Bucky’s characterisation here!]

'War, Children' by Nonymos

Rating: E, Words: 106615

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5373050/chapters/12409394

“After Bucky was released from the hospital, it only took him a couple of weeks to give up on himself. Difficult to believe in any kind of future when the simple act of staying alive was almost too big an effort.

Out the frosted window, across the street, there was a tiny homeless guy burrowing under an awning.”

[An interesting exploration of Bucky’s PTSD with a trans!Steve which was a cool take on his character too!]

'The Company You Keep' by orbingarrow

Rating: G, Words: 51191

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3468605/chapters/7613072

“Hurt, hungry, and on the run, the Winter Soldier doesn’t have a lot of safe options to go to for help. Figuring that any friend of Captain Steve Rogers is unlikely to be HYDRA, Bucky takes a chance and reaches out to the first Avenger he can find.

It works out better than anyone could have expected. Eventually.”

[hurt/comfort, recovering Bucky, protective Steve, found family and domestic avengers, need I say more? I absolutely loved this one]

#stucky #stucky fics #stucky fic recs #fic rec