#haha depressing much

[panthermouthh]

And I said, “Hello, Satan

I believe it’s time to go.”

#my art #southern gothic #been too depressed to create anything but I’ve made this today #the little rhyme has been in my head for a few weeks #spilled ink #I guess do people still use that tag for poetry or am I old lol #I’ve been writing in my journal pretty much daily and sometimes spitting out little poems like this #not much energy for art #so I’m not gonna pressure myself to keep it up #I’m just gonna enjoy the fact that I made this #I hope ur all well <33 #the devil #by the way this isn’t meant to be fan art of Robert Johnson #but it’s inspired by him and the stories of musicians who sell their souls to the devil #I am still thinking very hard and have mostly drafted a cornstalk fiddle comic #god knows how long it’ll stay in a notebook haha #my comic #comics

[torchstelechos]

I do think its really important to remember that SY was suppose to be the villain character but its only because of his kindness and newly gained life that he didn’t end as one. In the very beginning of the story we learn that Peerless Cucumber Bro often left comments on how SJ didn’t get his dues and needed to be punished more, and only after he transmigrated did he acknowledge how awful of a death SJ had. He also made point to explain that he only read the book for LBH, which he noted to enjoy his decisive actions and deft ability to kill. Markedly, he liked his brutality and personality over the erotica that the majority of PIDW fans enjoyed. Peerless Cucumber Bro is someone who loves action and the ability to cut right to the chase, something that he does not do and most likely has difficulty with in his world.

Speaking of, it is something to note that Peerless Cucumber bro is rich. He had head chefs, he could pay for a 6k+ chapter book of erotica in 20 days, he noted that he could not understand SJs envy and ambition for power since he lives well, and he even noted to himself that his family was well off. He is incredibly wealthy, and it shows. Which is important to note because he, not once, showed any guilt or remorse on dying and leaving his family behind. Yes, he sometimes refers to people as being similar to his family but he never showed any pain for losing that life like he did when he lost LBH. This is important because I genuinely think SY was depressed and self destructive to himself, which goes against popular HC that he was chronically/terminally ill (I do like this HC and like how its portrayed in fanfiction). It would explain how he ended up dying all alone by himself, and how blase he was to his own life and death.

SQQ is a self destructive force who ended up dying three times, and didn’t feel anything about death itself. He was worried about others and the effect it had on them, but for himself it was up and on again like it never happened. He does not care for his health, had self isolated as SY to the point he died alone, and has a horrible self esteem to the point that he continuously agrees when other people put him down and often calls himself the villain. Even though we have seen the evidence of someone who is always being thrust into new situations and awful plots, he calls himself lazy and easy going. He hides his thoughts and feelings behind his fan and has a remarkably thin face. At the very base of his actions and his thoughts, he is self destructive, powerful, and smart. This is the set up for a villain.

However, when shown the actual people in front of him and forced to act as SJ did towards LBH and his disciples, he flinches from it. He notes that it happening in front of him was different. His entire self soothing comedy monologue went quiet when he had to enforce the Endless Abyss scene, and grieved for the childish innocence he killed from one of his favourite people. SY was set up to be the villain and obviously thinks of himself as one, but can not act as one. If he had the choice LBH would have been his sticky sweet white lotus disciple for as long as LBH wished to be.

His kindness, as seen in the book, is what turned him from being “the scumbag villain” to the protagonist we see in the novels. Which, yes, he is a protagonist! He even has the protag halo that LBH has and its very funny in the meta way for SQQ not to realize this, but thats for another post. But he loves his disciples, he loves his peak lord siblings, he loves his Binghe, he loves his new life, and he is kind. That is what kept him from being the villain he sees himself as, his kindness and love for others. Whether that be romantic, platonic, or familial, he loves the people he has met and he treats them kindly. That is why it is important to remember that he was set up as the villain by everything in the story we do not see, but what we do see is him continuously changing the story to fit a new genre that lets as many people as he can save live. Sorry sorry, I just think about SY being set up as a villain so much. It changes a lot of views I have on the series when I remember the duality of SYs story and character development.

#SVSSS #scumbag self saving system #Shen Yuan #shen jiu #shen qingqiu #luo binghe #Meta #I think?? Haha I dont usually do metas but I dont know how to write fanfic for this series #so Im just writing down my thoughts on the characters #Like how if we see this from the PIDW characters POV SY is truly a villain #Its just something that makes me laugh because he is a villain just as much as he isnt! #what a wonderful complex character to write for. This type of story. #I wonder if Peerless Cucumber Bro would forgive me for writing meta about him?? I think he would be kind of happy but utterly disgusted #ew fans that actually think im complex even though Im a really simple person with no hidden motives -SQQ probably #I love this fucking idiot so much I relate to him on a spirtual level and think he was probably depress to the point of having A Plan. #if you know what I mean #because I still think him reading PIDW entirely in 20 days marks a special occasion for something and if its not for the final chapter... #Anyway #I love this stupid sweet potato of a character #Oh! New tag! #Sweet Potato SQQ #for archiving puproses on meta for him #Probably not good meta I didnt even add quotes or page numbers Im just talking out my ass from what I remember #Watch me write an essay on this lmao

[dcvina-claires]

do you ever think about how kitay had a photographic memory which means that every detail of golyn niis was literally frozen in his brain for the rest of his life haha

#me vs adding ‘haha’ to the end of incredibly depressing posts #he actually deserved so much better though :( #chen kitay #the poppy war #tpw #the dragon republic #tdr #the burning god #tbg

[curioscurio]

When the blood work comes back completely normal and you're relieved but still left with no answers

#i guess it really is just. all psychological. i need this lack of energy and motivation and sleepiness to quit though.... #the sweating may just be. a forever problem. hyperhydrosis forever sigh. maybe im just constantly dehydrated from sweating so much? well! #i went in bc i was convinced i had diabetes but it was just a yeast infection combined with my other depression symptoms. #but like the tiredness and stuff has been going for awhile the armpit marks only just showed up #well thats why theyre called depression and anxiety DISORDERS i guess haha

[kinos-fortress-2]

idk comfort characters moment ig

#i should REALLY stop doodling around and start doing more serious art #anyways this is not shipp art btw i dont shipp them for me they are like brothers best friends even #demoman #miss pauling #tf2 #team fortress 2 #kino art #idk i just feel like drawing sad demo i think he got too much going on in that little head full of beer and depression... #and well he just needs a hug and venting for real and not making it much of a joke #IDK I WAS JUST LISTENING TO MITSKI AND LAMP AND BOOM sad doodle i guess #i think for demo is a bit hard to find a good time to vent and well his team kinda sucks for that #same goes w miss p this two are full of shit in their heads so why not listening w each other and crying idk #its been a time since i have draw demo... #those fucking hands... i hate often times drawing hands #idk why i made tf2 sad art i think is funny but who cares cringe is free look at me doing lovey dovey and sad art haha laugh at this guy

[nariririri]

from my insta story. 🫡 im so ready for redbulls a league of their own

#dunno where to post this there isnt much of a lolesport following here #and i dont want to post art on twitter its depressing #nari draws #naridoodles #my art #t1 #t1 faker #t1 keria #t1 gumayusi #t1 oner #t1 zeus #oner looks so young here haha #zeus is the easiest to draw for me

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Just know the urge to rewatch the breakfast club is plaguing me and it’s entirely your fault what have you done to me /j lol

LOL DUDE I was literally just talking with one of my sisters about how I'm kind of itching to rewatch that movie now lmaooo you *should* you should actually!

#asks #(also the reason I haven't rb'd the piece yet is cause I sent you that last message then got hit with the sleep deprivation beam haha) #(and today I went out) #(aether's version too aether if you happen to see this I absolutely saw thank you love ya lol) #BUT ANYWAYS YEAH #I just showed my sister ur b.c. art (she doesn't know d&dads she's just heard me babble about the Close boys a lot lmao but she likes b.c.) #and she went ''OH SLAY'' hahaha #she was saying how she used to be obsessed with that movie but doesn't like it as much anymore #Me though? I saw that movie when I was 15 and depressed out of my absolute mind so. I think it deserves a fresh watch loool #the criminal was my favorite because I am. how you say. predictable. #but I wonder if I would feel differently now... #looking at your piece specifically though I've been thinking ''shit I kinda wanna write the au now''- #which is to say that I think *you* worsened *my* brainrot hahaha #anyways yeah you know what yeah Mack me personally I think you should fr yw for the urge jaheklfhl

[crumchycow]

I drew Pete!! In chalk pastels

Poor lil guy...

#pete phongsakorn #pete saengtham #kinnporsche the series #vegaspete #kinnporsche fanart #omg i was like haha ill draw it in blue for colout symbolism #horrible idea do mot draw people in blue its so hard ugh #but like in kp blue is sadness and depression and red is like predator/threat so thats like vegas and petes thoughts and anguish about vegas #i got the colour symbolism off a redit post i have not actually studied the colours in kp too much #my art

[skinnypaleangryperson]

The problem with me is that I don't write fanfiction. I write goddamn entire universes.

#I saw a girl on BoJack Reddit today at talk about how much the Reddit helped her depression #haha #All it did for me was make me even more suicidal because they despise fanfic writers so deeply on there and writing is all I have #I'm getting back into raw portrait painting because I was inspired after going into the museum today #cheating with digital art and getting away with it without having to make anyone feel cheated or stolen from is great #but really it's not worth it because it feels so empty

[todayisafridaynight]

would it be okay if u told me why u like aoki😭/gen😭😭😭😭BEEN TRYNA LIKE HIM FOR SO LONG I JUST CANTT but i love ur art so much so i still consume it otherwise lol

i liked tohru adachi in high school and tbh i think that alone is enough of an explanation for why i ended up liking aoki

#snap chats #haha see i told you last post's tags were relevant #anyway vLKVJEVLKAEJVLKJ IM CRYING ANON youre so funny. this is the funniest ask i coulda got thank you so much #i dont know why i like him either <- yes i do #fine lets get Real Talk about it #well first off all i thought he looked hot rolling out the elevator and i was playing the eng dub and i think his voice sounds hot there #and thats like. not athing that happens to me ever <- literally thought sawashiro was hot two frames into the game but anyway #i like politician characters. or characters that are in a position of power ESPECIALLY if they have to act like they dont suck balls #like i very much love the idea of the power of charisma and that type of thing not to mention the 'strategizing' as aoki puts it #that comes with politics. LIKE HE SUCKS DONT GET IT TWISTED HE SUCKS BUT //shrug emoji// #like its why i love the mine rggo stories i like seeing mine's thought process and how he uses his intelligence #smart's sexy to me idk what to tell you but moving on #its fun watching him lose his cool too ESP IN HIS FIGHT LMAO HE STOMPIN HIS FOOT LIKE A TODDLER SHUT UP #i also really love the arakawa family in general and thinking of aoki's relationship with each of them makes my brain explode #especially him and sawashiro that shit is painful to watch and i love it so much #i also thought him going from goth to republican was the funniest shit in the world like i howled at that AND i was distraught #aokis so interesting to me from the notion that he IS loved by his family but he has so much hatred for himself it eats him up #and as a result he cant be happy no matter what he does- how hes constantly seeking validation even if it's nothing meaningful #his lil. Dog-Eat-Dog world world belief to ichi also appealed to my edgy depressed high schooler brain. sorry. #his speech at the lockers also got to me. unfortunately. sorry everyone i empathized too hard it got too real it wasnt funny anymore #like as much as i complain bout the very end the ending is what solidified me liking aoki if not also cause of ichi's impact in those scene #plus... analyzing him and the environment around him is so much fun too.... #idk reasons for why i like aoki also boil down to personal reasons. he still sucks tho so i cant be upset when people hate him LOL #i probably have more reasons or could elaborate more i love rambling but i mean. who really wants to read all that 💀💀 #maybe for a character that WASNT the worst but. aoki is so LMAO #thank you for loving my art regardless :) im sorry i have to be attached to the worst guys ever

[shima-draws]

Big shoutout to One Piece for awakening my motivation and inspiration to draw when it was dormant for *checks calendar* over a year

#It’s been a LONG ass time since I’ve drawn this much. And this often #Like I want to say since 2022 probably #I think depression was a big part of why I just. Did no art last year #(And also the fact that I was physically unable to for 6 months haha thanks back problems!) #But yeah. YEAH. I haven’t been this motivated and hyperfixated since I was churning out Tododeku AUs #I missed this I really did 😭 It’s soooo nice to want to draw and have ideas and be willing to actually sit down and do it #Thank you OP for my LIFE. #Shima speaks #Again I’m just sitting here and letting the inspiration lead me #Another reason why I’ve been drawing so much is bc I KNOW I’ll hit a wall at some point #So I want to churn out as much art as possible before then…LMAO #Me to me: Draw draw draw DRAW DRAW BEFORE YOU STOP WANTING TO #Me: Yes boss okay boss on it boss!

[stillcominback]

🎀 🎀 🎀

#hi friends! #local cryptid laurel making a quick little dash appearance just to check in tbh 💗💗💗 #miss you all and writing loads but life continues to be a lot lol 😮‍💨 #still job hunting which has been really rough in general but also mentally #then raising my daughter aka puppy who I love but takes a lot of my time and energy 🐶 #BUUUUUUT a couple things! #1 - i’m better at checking into discord these days so if you would like to plot/write there and/or make servers to do so I would LOVE THAT #2 - RE: depressing job search - I’m working on opening up my own small shop!! #I’ll be starting with a collection inspired by The Traitors aka one of my fave shows atm #but will be doing all kinds of designs going forward! #I’ll drop more info here once we officially ✨launch✨ #but I would love to get more followers on our IG page and just get some hype/interest going! #so if anyone wants to check us out to see what’s to come (soon)! the IG is sonichedesigns #(and the website is thatsoniche but it’s not fully opened yet!) #I’m nervous but excited because I’ve always wanted to do something like this but never really had the time or creative/mental energy #so maybe the stars are aligning who knows! #LOVE YOU ALL and hope to catch you on discord at least! #(again not abandoning tumblr or rp at all! just don’t have much time for it so my blogs are basically for aesthetic things and w/e I have #time for haha 🤪💗 but discord I would love to do more writing and stuff so hmu or ask for my handle! MWAH!) #💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

[iluw]

#sorry for being depressing #haha pain #tw depressing thoughts #depressiv #meow #kitty #cat #cats #depression memes #i hate it so much #depressing shit #this is depressing #tw depressive #mentally fucked #i feel numb #tw vent

[toaster-trash]

Sometimes I remember that my sanity is actually dependant on a few fictional characters from 200 years ago, like not a silly haha joke but that I genuinely don’t have any other support system or healthy coping mechanism other than reading about and engaging in fan content for these fictional Victorians, and then I am like “uh oh. Goodness me. I may be in a bit of a sticky situation. A pickle, if you will.”

Anyway ahahahah something something humorous tumblr post as a coping mechanism ahaha something something

#am I genuinely mildly scared? mayhaps but I will not be admitting that properly #on a more genuine note though I have been feeling very unstable and very panic induced recently #the depressive issues just get considerably worse by the knowledge that I genuinely don’t have anyone in real life to help me #if things get even slightly worse than they’ve already shown they can get #I don’t get on with my parents very well despite the whole #‘haha my family member said this thing about gothic literature’ #is there much point to posting this? probably not #but between severe nightmares very often as well as slowly physically deteriorating more and more #and my general mental health getting progressively worse and worse #there isn’t much ELSE I can do and making a shitty tumblr post about it won’t make it any worse #and if nothing else if I end up doing something stupid at least people know what it’s a product of #I am scared to be honest #depressive episodes and dysphoria I can deal with but there’s nothing I hate more than geniune instability #if anyone genuinely has any advice or MINDS talking I would really appreciate it #it’s not like it can do any more harm #and like I said I don’t exactly have any good friends or family members #or teachers or anyone else #I’ll stop with the hashtags now sorry #just throwing my thoughts into the void #gothic lit #classic literature #gothic literature #classic lit #frankenstein #dracula

[ahwait-no-yes]

i have big ruikasa brainrot,, the moon and sun

#ruikasa #kamishiro rui #tenma tsukasa #rui kamishiro #tsukasa tenma #rui #kamishiro #tenma #tsukasa #project sekai #psekai #pjsekai #JJ tries to draw #I've literally read a good chunk of ruikasa fics on ao3 to the point where im now writing my own to fulfill my needs #also i know ive not been drawing much I'm sorry #seasonal depression rlly is hitting hardest this year #I hadnt drawn anything for a month till now #which js a long time when its me haha

[nosostros]

hey I'm back from the dead to drop a pic of my oc Iris. they're a bi skater with amnesia

#iris #I'm developing this story so much I got so many script pages rn like I'm actually in development lmao this will take a while #my ocs #noah's doodles #I'm quite rusty at drawing #also sorry for dropping off the face of the planet for a year or so haha I got depressed