#half is crack posts

[cuelovecrime]

everyone who's working on the subtitles is doing god's work, honestly

#I love how the stacy fakename bit still cracks them up so much #this episode is soo funny and I still got half an hour left to go #watching mentopolis #d20 #dimension 20 #mentopolis #d20 mentopolis #mentopolis ep 3 #hunch curio #mike trapp #brennan lee mulligan #my post

[iamnmbr3]

Harry: So I chose someone a little bit unusual to go to Slughorn's party with me but-

Ron: Oh no. Oh no. It's happening isn't it? It's actually happening.

Harry: What?

Ron: Is the person very blond?

Harry: Yes.

Ron: With silver eyes?

Harry: Yeah actually. How did you-

Ron: And do they idolize their father and repeat all of his crazy views as fact?

Harry: Yup! You've guessed it! Or did someone already tell you I'm going with- Ron? Are you alright?

Ron: I can't believe it. It happened. It actually happened. Hermione and I saw this coming but oh Merlin.

Harry: What's wrong with taking Luna?

Ron: Luna? .... Oh. Oh. LUNA. LUNA LOVEGOOD.

Harry: Obviously.

Ron: YOU'RE TAKING LUNA LOVEGOOD! THANK GOD!

Harry: ...Yes. Who did you think I meant?

Ron: Nevermind but wow you sure have a type huh?

#no but for real i will never get over harry taking luna in book 6 right in the middle of his draco obsession #and describing her as having a habit of 'repeating her father's bizarre views as fact' and noting her hair and silver eyes #i swear fics are subtler #drarry #crack #drarry crack #Harry Potter #harry potter and the half blood prince #harry x draco #draco x harry #h/d #harry/draco #harco #my post

[elementroar]

This is the "Why ABA and Paracelsus can feel horny" lore/theory post

The main Paracelsus deepdive post is a monster that I'm building in Google docs cos Tumblr can't handle it while it's WIP. This is a separate lore/theory monster I want to get out of my system first.

Here's my theory why ABA is consistently portrayed as being horny for Paracelsus from the start.

Translated excerpt from the Night of Knives Vol.2 audio drama CD, released in 2004 (20 IRL years ago):

Her being horny wasn't so much portrayed in-game in XX/AC+R really, prolly engine/sprite limitations and all; but then STRIVE happens and we get:

It's not just her being horny, and knowing exactly how to rizz Paracelsus up, and clearly has been doing this in her pocket dimension for a while now. PARACELSUS CAN FEEL HORNY NOW TOO!

And I stg I'm not joking...I think there's a legit lore reason for this.

Cos by the end of her arcade mode's flawless ending and according to the latest interviews with Daisuke-san and the game directors, it's explained that Paracelsus' form depends on what ABA thinks of Paracelsus, as well as her general mental stability.

ABA thought Paracelsus looked like a key, and he morphed into a key as part of his nature, which naturally makes him always fit to his wielder's preferences. In my deepdive I'll explain in more detail, but in addition to that, Slayer figured out that since ABA also saw Para as her hopeful "key to the future", Para's heart also began to change to basically fit her ideal of what he is.

So if ABA finds Paracelsus sexually attractive, and has made very obvious physical advances on him for years, then it follows that if she's horny for him, she can make Paras horny for her over time too, just like how Para is getting more key-like subconsciously just by being with her all this time.

I don't think this is entirely involuntary on Paracelsus end. I believe how much he wants to react to his wielder's emotions is still in his control...unless they become truly insane like with ABA's Jealous Rage being emotionally powerful enough to override Paras' ability to maintain his key form.

Also he reverts to his 'sharp teeth' design when he gets rizzed up, so he's losing his composure again and prolly holding back most of his...response. It's actually kinda telling cos Para used to just disassociate, ignore, scold ABA when she tries to make advances on him, so him actually responding now and to this degree is...interesting. And ABA seems very aware of this.

And for the bigger question of why ABA, an artificially created human would be created with the ability to feel horny...

Ok, crack theory time, it might be linked to why she apparently can summon an actual alchemical gate just whenever she wants, and even use it as her private pad. ABA doesn't just wanna rizz Paracelsus up as a key, she wants him in a human body since the start too.

Y'all remember Ghostbusters, and what the Gatekeeper and the Keymaster have to do to open the gate...?

#guilty gear strive #paracelsus guilty gear #my theory #I needed a quick diversion #my post #long post #surprise ghostbusters #nothing really alchemy related but the whole Gatekeeper and Keymaster 'joining' thing is just...right...there #a.b.a guilty gear #aba guilty gear #half-crack theory

[amber-laughs]

there is just no universe where catelyn likes jon i’m sorry. she knows about R+L=J? ned made traitors of her and her children, put jon’s safety above their’s and is now an even bigger threat to their lives. she hates him. Rhaegar wins and he’s prince jon? he’s still the product of the event that the entire country had to go to war for and probably got her father killed in the process. at the very least she resents him. maybe even hates him. modern au? he’s just the cousin with the teen mom that gets high with her son in the basement and sneaks arya razor blades or whatever. she hates him!

#turns out i’ve already posted the bottom half of this post verbatim lol #their relationship is too fractured from even before his conception #i’m sorry y’all she’s never playing mommy to that boy #even tho he’s my son who deserves all the love and affection this world has to offer #that one girl who really doesn't play about jon and catelyn #jon snow #catelyn tully #valyrianscrolls #asoiaf crack #well kind sorta #catelyn stark #game of thrones #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #asoiaf meta

[teecupangel]

[Desmond Miles has successfully saved a Levantine village during the Third Crusaders after waking up in the past.]

Grateful civilian: Thank you, stranger! You have saved our village from the cruelty of war. May we ask who you are so we may know the name of our savior?

[Desmond Miles believes he cannot say ‘Desmond Miles’ because that might accidentally create a ripple effect in the future.]

[Desmond Miles believes he cannot use any of the names of the ancestors who haven’t been born yet especially the Kenways because of how important they are to his history.]

[Desmond Miles has not yet processed the shock of dying a painful death and waking up in the past and his brain is blanking.]

Desmond: Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad.

[The people Desmond Miles have saved now believed their savior’s name is Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad.]

[Desmond Miles has committed identity fraud.]

[… and he will continue to commit identity fraud.]

#we interrupt teecup’s attempts to replying to all the pending replies + asks #to post this half-crack(?) idea #brought by joongdok identity fraud love language #im sorry guess ive been taken in by orv #one day i might even get an actual orv x ac idea #for now… #assassin's creed #desmond miles #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed #altaïr ibn la'ahad

[dcxdpdabbles]

#dcxdpdabbles #dc x dp crossover #Danny on his crack #Poll post #I like seeing how my half backed ideas do

[coveredinbees]

My favourite character trait of 1950's!Tim is that he's a sweet, little jellybean 99% of the time. But then you feed him one alcoholic beverage, and he turns into the brattiest sub ever.

Y'all, do not give Tim a single alcoholic beverage. It's the FT equivalent of feeding a mogwai after midnight.

#fellow travelers #jonathan bailey #I have to make my weird crack posts now #Because the second half of the season is going to be too sad #tim laughlin #Matt bomer

[fan-fricking-fiction]

Pit babe ft. commentary textposts

special shout out to @supanuts, i live for your posts

#i'm once again here to say #i love y'all sm #i live for the tumblr bl drama commentary #also @supanuts the fact that the second half is all your posts is a coincidence i swear #i love your posts what can i say #bl crack #bl textposts #pit babe #pit babe the series #charlie x babe #charliebabe #alan x jeff #alanjeff #thai bl

[post-it-notes7]

a small collection of Mir Falspar drawings

#mir falspar #kirby right back at ya #galaxy soldier army #post's art gallery #he usually tries to keep the cracks on his actual body covered #though there's only so much he can do when anything he puts over them just starts deteriorating #thus you have the half-torn look of his sleeve and cape #and an incredible threshold for denial if someone asks about it

[heartfullofleeches]

[Yandere, sobbing over the first kill they commited for monster reader and the metaphorical monster they've become for the sake of love]

You, completely unaware, but remembering the way humans comforted their young from videos- or pets. (The two are scarily similar): There, there. Good human. [Pats their head]

Yan, tears drying instantly: Welp, there goes whatevers left of my moral compass.

#I should no operate a phone when I'm half awake #yandere oc #yandere #yandere imagines #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere scenarios #yandere headcanons #yandere insert #yandere blurb #crack post #yandere text

[disastergoose]

it’s murphin time

#I am so stressed about work and personal stuff so I’m compensating by focusing on Starstruck again #and this is one of my favorite scenes ever from my fave season #it’s murphin time #a starstruck odyssey #big barry syx #gunnie miggles rashbax #Siobhan’s reaction all the way through this was half the reason I needed to post it I was cracking upppppp #also Emily’s first expression #emily axford #siobhan thompson #lou wilson #zac oyama #ally beardsley #intrepid heroes

[curiosity-killed]

that post-work crash nap

[ALT ID: A digital illustration of two people napping on top of each other on a wicker chaise.]

#tumblr user fantasiavii if u see this pls know your tags cracked me up enough i almost made this way post canon #to when these two would have their older tats #but unfortunately the siren song of mid-twenties disasters is just. too relatable #my art #story: tcp #calsir #ch: callebero #ch: sirion #things that happen immediately after this: #a) Callebero's neck cramps up from going straight from hunching over his desk to passing out like this #b) Sirion tries to sit up in concern and discovers his hair is caught in Callebero's ring chain #c) his arms are also both completely dead from being pinned between caleb's weight and the wooden frame #d) callebero's legs are also not doing great after having sirion + half his equipment draped on top of them #e) two of arradine's most lauded military strategists and warriors are defeated by a poorly timed nap & wind up fully on their asses on the #floor

[abrahamvanhelsings]

imagining the things graham gore could and would have done to edward little's cervix had he lived a little longer

#man of unparalleled confidence good grace and good humour versus god's perfect little sub who's always trying his bestest #joke post but im something is cooking in my brain abt their potential dynamic actually. #there's some real potential between them i know it. ned's awkwardness and sense of duty versus graham's natural charm and grace #and overall stability as a person. they could be something to each other #< making things up about men who never interact where we see them do it #the terror #you say to me 'curry you're just describing jfj' no see jfj is half a front hiding deep seated insecurities #gore on the other hand. i think of him as a man who was rly completely at ease w/ himself and his position in the world #ned would be like admiring him feeling a little inferior probably #and gore would be like you're kind of awkward but in a cute way and you have a good heart ill take u under my wing. ur better than u think #going to stop now nobody cares abt this crack ship lmao. but i do

[tweetsofyj]

#coffee #this is so stupid #but I laughed for like half an hour after making it #why is the camera angle so cinematic #yellowjackets #taissa yellowjackets #taissa turner #yellowjackets memes #yellowjackets text posts #incorrect yellowjackets #yj crack #yj memes #tawny cypress

[gentlemens-amnesiac]

I saw some fanart and decided that sure, I can let this consume my life for a while

#better half (game) #better half #better half fanart #i just saw the lack of fandom and i was bored #decided to make art #better half nemlei #crack post

[a-s-levynn]

"Even if the sky cracks in mourning / And the heavens just won't open up for me" A Series of Small Offerings - II/12 - day20

#a series of small offerings #sleep token fanart #elaboration on this piece further down in the tags because this one may confuse people i think #(also please note that i firmly believe that the from the room below version of this song is the superior one) #(so the art was made with that version in mind because that is the version that lives rent free in my brain for reasons) #i've been thinking so much how to approach this one.. i knew pretty much since i've made the challenge that i will go with this line #specifically because i refuse to hear it as the lyrics sites and spotify tells me to hear it (as it appears in the post) but instead #i don't hear the 'the' in any version of the song i'm sorry that is just not there #so i'm convinced it is 'as the sky cracks in mourning' #(sky cracking-lightning;sky mourning-rain) #which is also exactly how the song feels to me #being a sad wet cat of a person standing bare feet in a strom and just crying 'why i was i so blind to my own hubris' #specifically in relation of finally (and far too late) understanding you fucked up a relationship so bad it still hurts years after #if you've ever felt anything remotely similar you know what i'm talking about #and you get why i refuse it being 'in the morning' instead of 'in mourning' #vessel i #vessel #vessel sleep token #vessel fanart #sleep token band #sleeptoken #levynn tries to draw #sleep token #edit: i don't mean to offend those who stand behind the line being 'in the morning' btw i just don't hear it #and i don't think i'm correct. i'm correct for me. not in your stead. half the lyrics can be heard at least two ways #edit2: appearently i'm actually right about something for a change.. a truly unusual turn of events #see comments for referrence pls #also edited this post to the correct lyrics #but leaving the tags for context 'cause thw original version of the post has been rb-d before editing i think