#he had to deal with dazai and chuuya's growing up years. he was probably there when kouyou went through her dramatic tragedy. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chuuyasfanboy · 5 months

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Just had some random thoughts so pulled up an old blog I never used and am now deciding to write fics! I've had this stuck in my head for two days now but like- Skk as parents... enjoy <3

Wrote three sections! One with Chuuya, one with Dazai, and ofc them together. It can be read from either adopted or blood perspective, I hope? Kind of scattered, I was just goin for it guys

Iffff you liked this, please req something! I'm having major bsd brainrot and I need ideas...

Soukoku as Parents Platonic x Gn!Child!Reader

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The SILLIEST father EVER guys.

For actual years he was fully under the impression he HATED all kids with a passion. I mean guys look at how badly he treated Aku-

Well then he had you and things changed

It's just something about you being his kid, not a subordinate or random kid on the street

He's your dedicated apologist

In fact, he encourages your mischief!

When you were younger, it was a lot harder to handle you. He even found himself on his last fuse sometimes. Usually, he left Atsushi or Yosano to deal with you

He didn't want to revert to old habits and accidentally traumatize you :(

When he can handle himself, though, he's only halfway controlling you-

He's right along with you in the heinous activities half of the time

Hiding Ranpo's candy (for as long as it lasts), misplacing Kunikida's glasses, hell you two have probably snuck into the infirmary and changed the sheets to something very colorful and very childishly wolf themed...

He's not really a mature dad, nonono. But he's doing his best

He fully supports all of your wildest interests, even tries out some of the more entertaining ones

He struggles to act excited when you're younger and all your interests are very out of his range, but as you grow older he's actually a bit intrigued by them sometimes

Best birthday gift ideas, too. He's very creative when he wants to be.

He also has way more money than he should be ALLOWED to have

For your Sweet Sixteen, he most definitely got you an obsessively large custom pinata of your favorite character...

He makes sure EVERYBODY gets you gifts, because you are his world and thus you must be everybody else's as well

He really does try to keep you out of work, and especially away from his suicide biz

Maybe HE doesnt have a reason to live, but he certainly doesnt want you picking up those thoughts, because he knows you have a real big destiny to live up to someday

I mean, what would the world be without you?

When you hit the age of 13 though, its really hard to hide anything from you

You're so scary when you grow up! And you're way too smart!!4

Did you get that from him? oops...

Now, he doesnt have any plans of living that long, but if you do grow big and strong and smart one day, and you join the ADA, he's definitely got some favoritism.

Surprisingly, Fukuzawa actually gives you your first few proper missions with him

(Because he knows Dazai will not be letting any harm come to you, he trusts Dazai with his life and he knows you trust Dazai even more)

If you have different plans for adulthood though, he's still so supportive

If you go to uni, you're going to have to show him off

Why?

Because, guys, he's a dilf

Nobody's gonna be mean to the kid with a dilf father, they all want him

He jokes about it constantly

But rest assured, stupid and immature uni kids are NOT his type, no matter how nice the ones his age look

He's got his eyes set on that waitress and at least four other men at the moment

If you go straight into the workplace instead of uni, he's going to use his connections to get you a good job early!

Fukuzawa has a good way with words and Dazai himself is a pretty good reference contact

Just tell them he's your teacher, or something

It's not like they'll know his hobbies, he's wayyyy too big a mystery for that

Overall: 7/10 dad

A little rough around the edges, but he's trying hard to improve himself for you

And he's trying hard to give you the best life he can offer

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Did I say Dazai was a dilf?

I lied out of my ass.

Chuuya is the real dilf here

But we'll get to that later! (Just know he has plenty of men and women at his feet and they're definitely being way too nice to you because they want him so bad guys)

You're SO SO SO SO spoiled.

UNREASONABLY so

So bad you might even be a little bit of a brat growing up

It's fine, not toward him, he almost never says no to you so theres no need

There's absolutely no amount of money that can't be spent on you.

Luxury clothes, professionally cooked dinners, fancy rooms, home staff, the whole works

Despite all that though, he's insistent you go to a public/private school

He's not tutoring you, wont even hire one

It's not because he CAN'T, it's because he KNOWS how important it is for you to get your sense of independence early

Sure, you'll always have financial support, even if he dies (Trust fund babyyyyy)

But thats not what's actually important to your future

You need social skills, you need friends, you need and education and the taste of disappointment

Dont worry, though, he's not sending you unprepared

You're not eating school lunches unless you want to (but fuck why would you?)

He's sending you to school with top notch food every day

And clothes

And supplies

Plus, you'll have a tutor at the ready for anything you need a little extra help in

But for the most part he keeps as far as he can out of that section of your life

You friends are yours, not his

He's polite when they have sleepovers, and he's more than willing to host parties and hangouts

But he doesn't try too hard to impress them, and he doesn't talk to them unless its related to you

Because as much as he loves being around kids (a real big father he wants to adopt everybody he sees)

He doesn't want to impose on any boundaries YOU may have

As a side note though, he's still very observant of your relationships with them

If he overhears any manipulation, or shit talking (about you or not), he's not going to let it sit and exist

If it comes to it, he will contact the parents (And holy fuck they are TERRIFIED i mean imagine a publicly known MAFIA EXECUTIVE contacting you to tell your kid fucked with his ABSOLUTELY NOT GUYS)

If you're into any extracurriculars, he is ALWAYS there

Even if he's overseas on a mission, he has some lower rank attend and clears his schedule so he can watch through a call

Also guys, he practically funds your school?

Your teachers are terrified to cross you because if they do there will be NO SALARY

You complain about anything that happened? He's fixing it up in any way he can

You are his ANGEL, NOTHING will ruin your day as long as he can prevent it.

When you grow up, your options are very clear in his eyes

Either you go to uni and live independent of the mafia, or you inherit his spot when he dies

If you go for neither, he may be a bit shocked, but he'll hesitantly step back

He'll see how it goes, but he's not very confident at first

If it goes well? Fuck, great! He's always in your corner rooting for you

If it doesn't go so well, you always have him as a backup

He'll always be there to take you back with open arms and give you a second, third, fourth, fifth, etc chance. Always

If you do join the mafia, there will be no low rank experience for you

You're straight to the upper ranks. At first, you'll probably be in a position similar to Akutagawa under Dazai or how he was under Koyo

Direct subordinate, his apprentice, his prodigy

And when he dies, you're next in line for his exec spot

There's not even a worry about your skillset, he knows he's trained you well, ability or no ability.

Finally, back to the dilf topic I've mentioned at the beginning

If you go to uni, he has the same problem Dazai had, but WORSE

Fuck guys, he swears he tries to keep out of your friendships, but suddenly everyone's adults and they wont leave him alone.

It's at this point he stops hosting your events (except birthdays) and separates himself

No way is he getting involved with crazy college kids, no way

Overall: 9/10 father

He's a bit absent in your social circle, but he's your dad and thats that

He screams support from the stands and that's really the best you can ask for in a dad <3

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theyre so pathetic together-

theyre all the entertainment you need growing up

constant bickering (lovingly)

they dont involve you in all that

it comes with them both being in seperate factions, but they BOTH work very hard to keep you out of the professional lives

you're their kid, they dont want you in any of the doublesided danger that could get you in

you're probably a secret to everyone except the ADA and the other mafia

And your existence is on a need-to-know basis for everybody else

Dazai is the more present figure in your life, simply because Chuuya has to be a bit more distant

It's the nature of his line of work, anyone he's seen with is a target, and he doesn't want that to be you

He will be at your schooling events still, though. He will be YELLING AND SHOUTING in the stands

Into sports? Every time theres an unfair play he will cuss the living daylights out of the ref

And they just have to let him because theres nothing they can really do about

Dazais the same way, but with less scare factor and way less vigor

After games, he's going to complain WITH you about how lame the whole thing was if you lost, how everything was judged unfairly

They may not get along the best together, but they love each other and especially love you, so they're improving for you

Read: Chuuya is making them improve for you

Dazai thinks hes the victim in all this!

But oh well, if Chuuya makes him apologize when they argue in front of you, he will

When you're all grown up, they both encourage you to find your own path

You've got the chance, thanks to them, and they dont want you involved in their little wars

It's not like you can join any sides, because who would want to be against your dad :(

So really your only choice is moving out, maybe even away-

If you really do want into their business, they both insist you join the ADA

It's safer there for you, and Chuuya would rather have to order his men to not under any circumstances EVER hurt you, than have to watch someone he can't control put you in danger

Plus, he knows Dazai will keep you in the safest position possible

Overall: 7/10 together

They're a nightmare at dinner, and Dazai is sleeping on the couch almost every night

But they adore you and every move you make, so there's no way you're feeling unloved at all

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amber-sekio · 5 days

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One-shot Prompt

Title: And if you can forgive, love will truly live

Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs

Ship: Dazai x Reader

Prompt: “'Sorry for showing up like this.’ You sighed, your shoulders relaxing in silent defeat. ‘Come in.’”

TW: mentions of death (Oda), mentioned bad home life though not explicit

!Gender of reader is not specified!

A/N: I do plan on making a 2nd part where the reader and Dazai talk things out and get in a relationship, not sure when I'll finish it though

The word count for chapter 1 is roughly 2k

Also, this will be posted on my ao3, link on my master list

You had known Dazai for a long time, perhaps not as long as Chuuya has, but that’s beside the point.

While you had grown up around shady people and been dealing with said shady people’s shady shit pretty much your whole life, courtesy of your shitty, shady parents, you hadn’t actually joined the Port Mafia until you were 17. Two years older than Dazai and Chuuya, but joined the Mafia around roughly the same time Chuuya had.

With your ability, it didn’t take long for you to begin to climb the ranks. It wasn’t like you were trying to specifically reach the rank of executive, but gradually, you crept closer.

About a year and a half after you had joined you had made a name for yourself, and that was also about the time you had met Dazai and Chuuya for the first time during a bigger mission.

You had somehow managed to become something like friends with them on that mission and had become a somewhat regularity to be paired with them on large missions. You were tough enough to handle both their eccentric personalities as well as teasing enough to get along with Dazai and passionate enough to friend Chuuya.

It was a weird trio you had formed, often being the one to defuse them when they began to bicker. And of course, apologizing when they disturbed the everyday citizens with their fighting when the three of you had time off to just be kids.

Over time, you had begun to grow closer and fonder of Dazai, being able to relate to him more often than one probably should, but whatever. Sometimes, the two of you would find each other silently sitting at the docks staring off into nothingness, neither of you would talk, just simply get lost in your endless thoughts while enjoying the presence of someone who was similar enough to understand you.

On one such occasion Dazai had broken the endless silence of the waves below your feet; inviting you to join him to meet with his bar friends. That was when you met Ango and Oda. They were pleasant company and you had found yourself growing attached to them just like you knew Dazai was, though he would’ve probably denied it at the time.

So, when Dazai disappeared one night with no traces, followed by learning of Oda’s death. You knew.

That didn’t make it hurt any less of course. Especially with how his sudden departure shed light on your feelings for him.

While Chuuya presented himself to be finally rid of his presence, you both knew that Dazai leaving had hurt both of you. You had chosen to tell Chuuya Dazai’s reasons for leaving, not wanting the anger of Dazai’s leaving to grow into hatred, besides, Chuuya would’ve pieced it together eventually.

And like that. Everything continued. The Port Mafia didn’t mourn over its losses. Executive duties called.

So, when after 4 years of no contact, to say you were surprised at his being in the ADA would be an understatement.

You hadn’t had the chance to see him yet like Chuuya had but you were there to witness Chuuya’s drunken midnight rant after having invited you over.

“Oh, trust me, he’s as shitty a mackerel as he always has been. He hasn’t changed a bit.” Chuuya slurred off, grumbling under his breath as he laid his head down on the counter.

You were both sitting at the kitchen island, a bottle of some expensive wine brand, open and mostly empty now, was on the counter between you.

You sat with your body facing Chuuya, your head resting in your palm, elbow against the counter.

“Mhm. He hasn’t changed a bit huh?” You spoke more for the simple sake of speaking, entertaining the drunk man before you. You didn’t need clarification of something you already knew.

Dazai had always been capable of doing good. He just didn’t care between doing good or bad, it made no difference to him. He’s only working for the light because it’s what Oda wanted. Dazai not changing wasn’t a surprise. So Chuuya’s following words were a little less than expected.

“Actually…” He paused, slurring off again before clarifying his words, his head remained poised on the counter. “He looked… brighter?” He seemed to question his own words before continuing. “Brighter and healthier. He seemed…” Chuuya trailed off again but not due to his drunken state. He stopped himself from finishing his train of thought.

“Happier?” You finished for him.

He didn’t respond.

After that, you had practically forgotten about Dazai now being in the ADA, too busy with missions and the seemingly never-ending, growing stack of paperwork.

That was until tonight.

It had been a grueling past few days, rainy weather, long meetings, missions to assign, missions to report and file, and of course your endless stack of shitty paperwork that had somehow found itself in your home office, taking up even more of your own time which was already short considering your importance to the Mafia.

After you got home, sometime around the dead-ass crack of dawn, you had only grabbed a cup of coffee, one of the larger mugs you owned, before heading to your office for more work.

Sometime, while in the middle of reviewing some report, you had fallen asleep, lulled by the endless pitter-patter of rain hitting the window in your office.

You had slept most of the day away and upon waking, it had already grown dark outside, probably around 9 or 10 at night now, and you were thankful to whatever divine being had granted you a day off today because you would have been so fucking late. You chose to willfully ignore that Mori-san was technically the one who made your schedule. He was a good boss, competent in his decisions, but he was no divine being.

Stretching in your chair, you could feel the soreness of your muscles from the previous day of work. There was a tightness in your back, worse than it normally was, courtesy of sleeping in your chair.

A knock sounded on your door, soft when it made its way to your ears but still clear as it cut through the silence of the penthouse you called home.

You dragged your body to your door, still completely dressed head-to-toe in your typical Mafia outfit with the addition of a few wrinkles, your shoes clacking noisily on the floor.

“Coming!” You called out before the person waiting behind your door could think to knock again.

Reaching your door, you work through your security system before opening your door, behind, a man you hadn’t seen for 4 years.

Your tiredness slipped away from your body as you gasped. Your body now on alert as you stared at him.

He was dressed in, presumedly, his ADA outfit, light in color. His bandages still covered his neck, probably the rest of his body, but the ones that used to cover his eye were gone. He had clearly gained weight since you had last seen him, though he still lacked a significant amount of meat on his bones someone his age and height should have.

Chuuya was right, he looked happier. No. That was wrong. He didn’t look happy. He looked… sad? Guilty?

They weren’t emotions you were familiar with seeing on him. Sure, you had seen both emotions on people in the Mafia during interrogations… but on Dazai? No. He hardly ever even faked them.

He did look brighter though. Healthier.

He also looked- no was drenched. His clothes were darkened by the rainwater still pouring outside. Dripping water on the carpeted floor. You could see a few dark spots on the floor down the hall, marking his trail.

He beat you to a response.

“Sorry for showing up like this.”

You sighed, your shoulders relaxing in silent defeat. “Come in.”

You stepped to the side, letting him in.

You closed the door behind him as he observed the expensive and modern decorations. It lacked any personality, at least to an untrained eye. If one looked closer, you could make out a knick-knack here or there that didn’t quite fit the rest of the rather drab decorations.

It lacked vulnerability.

Your bedroom, though, where only you went into, your interests bled out.

“I assume your room has more personality than this, no?” Dazai’s tone was off. A half-hearted attempt to lighten the mood.

“Vulnerability isn’t something Mafia Executives have the luxury to indulge in often.”

He didn’t respond.

“You can hang your coat on the rack.” You spoke, staring at his back as he walked into your home. “And take your shoes off.”

You turned down the hall towards your room, leaving Dazai to settle.

As you walked you called out to Dazai, not facing him. “I should have some clothes that fit you.” Then as an afterthought, “I want you to take a shower.”

When you walked back into the living room with some clothes, Dazai had actually listened, his coat was hung up and his shoes were in the genkan, he had also taken off his socks, probably soaked after being out in the rain.

You walked up to him, handing him the clothes. “Go take a shower. There should be some rolls of bandages in there, though I’m not sure how many I have left.”

He took the clothes from you silently, then: “Thank you.”

You looked him in the eyes, trying to discern how much you didn’t know about him anymore. How much you needed to learn about him.

“Have you eaten?” You spoke calmly, trying to ignore the thoughts and feelings swirling inside you without end.

“I-…” He hesitated. “No. I haven’t.”

Without another word, you left him to go take a shower. It was probably a good idea to make something to eat anyway, considering you were currently running off of a single cup of coffee.

You decided to not bother to cook and instead pulled out two packets of ramen in part because you were still tired as fuck, and you didn’t know if Dazai’s eating habits had changed or not.

It was better to settle for something simple that he might eat if you were lucky.

It didn’t take long for the ramen to finish heating up and for you to place it in two bowls so you placed them on the table. You were about to go check on Dazai when he turned the corner into the living room.

Something was off, he had changed into the clothes you got for him, and his hair was still wet, dripping water off of his soft curls. He seemed… hesitant -nervous? More so than he had been before taking a shower.

“I made ramen.” You spoke, realizing you had been looking for a bit too long. You gestured to the table with the two bowls full of still steaming ramen.

“Thank you…” His voice was quiet, low. He clearly wasn’t bothering to hide his hesitancy, or perhaps he was just failing miserably in trying.

You sat down at one end of the table and busied yourself with eating. You watched him shift over to the seat adjacent to you.

Your eyes widened in upon noticing. “You’re not wearing your bandages?”

He shifted in his seat, avoiding your gaze.

“The hoodie and shorts are soft…”

The ‘and I trust you’ went unsaid but understood.

Your face softened around the edges.

“Eat.”

He responded with a nod before picking up his chopsticks.

Soon enough you had finished your food, and though Dazai only ate half, it was more than you were expecting him to eat. You placed your dishes in the sink to deal with another time before returning to the table, though you remained standing. Dazai had yet to get up.

“Do you want to watch something? I have a day off so…” You trailed off awkwardly.

He looked up but he didn’t quite meet your eyes.

“Sure.”

The only light currently on was the blue light emitted from the television that was playing some show you were hardly paying any more attention to. After a few episodes, you had shifted from sitting awkwardly on opposite sides of the couch to where Dazai was now practically lying on top of you. He was lying his head on your chest with his face turned towards the screen, invested in whatever show it was that was playing. You had let him pick. You were far more interested in watching as he relaxed into you as you ran your fingers through his now, mostly dry, curls.

“Tired?” Your voice no more than a whisper.

“No…” He responded; a hint of a tired whine interlaced in it. A tone his voice always had when he was tired just didn’t want to sleep in lieu of whatever he was currently doing, which at the moment was watching a show while cuddling with someone he hadn’t seen in 4 years.

“Sure~.” You teased as your nails gently scratched at his scalp.

He grumbled something softly into your chest.

You knew how bad, how dangerous your next thought was. It could end badly for both of you, but you couldn’t help when the words slipped from your tongue.

“Why don’t we go to bed hm?”

He responded with an unintelligible whine, pressing his face further into your chest, as he wrapped his lanky arms around your back.

You sighed softly but even if he had clearly put on more weight, he still wouldn’t be able to put up much of a fight against you physically speaking. You gathered what remaining strength you had in you as you wrapped your hands around his waist before shifting to a sitting position. Then you secured your arms under him to lift him up in your arms.

“Come on, you lanky beanpole. Time for bed.”

The talk could wait for tomorrow, after all, he couldn’t leave with his clothes still in the washer.

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #dazai bsd #bsd dazai #minor angst #kinda fluff #at the end at least #and with dazai being willingly vulnerable #dazai x reader #reader x dazai #readers gender not specified #bsd fanfic #bsd chuuya

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nonhumen · 1 year

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a comprehensive list of dazai's bonds within the port mafia (because despite what dazai would have you believe, he has a lot of them)

tw for drug abuse, child abuse, self harm, and suicide

mori: i've already spoke at length about how dazai views mori here, but he is the closest thing dazai has to a father figure. he'll never admit it, mind you, and it's not a healthy relationship in the slightest. but he also cannot deny that mori is the man who pretty much raised him. dazai is essentially mori's heir since he sees a lot of himself in dazai and so has taken to teaching him how to be more like him so dazai can one day rule the port mafia. that also means that dazai committing suicide is not an option and so has made sure to keep dazai dependent on him. for starters, he is the only one to ever treat dazai's wounds and so is the one person intimately aware of his exposed body (no, i do not believe mori ever sexually assaulted him and that is not a line i am willing to cross). secondly, mori would give him uncontrolled doses of pavinal to get dazai addicted. as his doctor, mori is the only one allowed to administer the opioid to dazai which in turn keeps dazai reliant on him for the drug.

odasaku: HIS BEST FRIEND. at first curious about him because of his ideals of never killing anyone despite his bloody ledger, dazai found that oda is another person he feels he can connect with. this is mainly because oda doesn't scold him or shy away from dazai's suicidal mania. that ease of being himself around him is why dazai values oda's presence. in time, as they became drinking buddies, it turned into a friendship transcending hierarchal boundaries. though oda is older, dazai is his boss and so there is a mutual respect between them. unfortunately, dazai is unable to put words to the bonds between human beings and does not realize that he could call oda his friend until it was too late. this is a platonic love, maybe even a brotherly love on oda's side (dazai is so emotionally stunted that he does not know the nuisances of different types of love at this point).

ango: HIS OTHER BEST FRIEND. ango definitely acts as a big brother to dazai more openly than oda does despite him being the second youngest of the trio. while he is definitely one to scold dazai about his morbid antics but i think that mutual respect and interest between them softens the blow. plus, they are both agents who deal in information and so have probably worked together closely on mafia operations before. he opens up to ango initially because oda is there to mediate whenever their personalities clash. same as with oda, their relationship grows into a comfortable friendship when they become regular drinking buddies. on the flip side, ango is the first true betrayal dazai has ever felt in his life which is why he holds such a deep grudge against him compared, say, mori. but their shared pain in the loss of oda is the thread that ultimately keeps their friendship intact. ango is the only one to know where dazai was during his two years in hiding and the only one to have seen him during his opioid detox.

chuuya: i have also written at length about how important chuuya is to dazai here so i will try to keep this short. chuuya is his partner, his first friend, the first person to ever make him feel something besides the hollowness in his heart. their entire relationship is built on absolute trust, which is something dazai had to learn how to even do. because of this, chuuya is the first one dazai chose to reveal parts about himself to. whereas mori basically forces dazai to open his heart to him, dazai actively chooses to allow chuuya to see him and the depths of his despair. chuuya is also the first person dazai's age that he ever felt connected to and the first friend he ever had. he loves him, though dazai cannot pinpoint when this happened because he is so unaware of his own feelings. it is only after he leaves the port mafia that he realizes he has romantic feelings for chuuya.

akutagawa: their relationship is very similar to dazai and mori's except dazai is now in the mentor role. because of his upbringing as mori's pupil, dazai doesn't know how to be kind in his teaching methods. he is physically and mentally abusive to akutagawa and, while this doesn't condone his actions, he believes himself in the right because he warned him that he would not be kind. but i do believe it all comes from a place of caring. he sees great potential in rashomon as an ability and believes akutagawa and become a great asset for the mafia is he only learned to not attack on sight. it is why the only time dazai validates him is after he worked with atsushi against the guild. this is a one-sided love. dazai is very aware of akutagawa's fanaticism for him and uses this to his advantage to heel his subordinate when he needs to but will never return akutagawa's feelings.

yumeno / q: yumeno is dazai's first foray into taking care of a child and it goes horribly wrong. unlike akutagawa who dazai found after learning to feel more emotions, yumeno is result of a very young dazai being put in charge of another life. yumeno ends up serving as a sort of experiment for dazai about the human mind. this is around the same time mori is filling dazai's head with texts about game theory and so he tests a lot of the social science aspects out on yumeno. he analyzes the human heart by pulling theirs apart, seeing how far he can use them before their mind breaks. of course, no one stops him or tells him that his treatment of yumeno is wrong. if anything, mori actively encourages dazai to continue learning through his abuse. in the end, their mind does break and dazai is forced to seal them away. he feels no compassion for them as they were only something to be studied.

elise: this one is actually kinda cute. i see elise as a little sister to dazai, especially during his early years in the mafia when he stuck by mori's side more often. they get into arguments a lot about little things and so is also someone who brings out dazai's childish side. they bond over complaining about mori and you can't take this away from me. their relationship thins when dazai becomes an executive and gets more responsibilities.

kouyou: they know each other by association more than any meaningful connection. she is not someone dazai can connect with and is very quiet around her until she ends up taking chuuya under her wing. when his personality grows, he is familiar enough with kouyou to want to annoy her as he does with those he likes to keep at arm's length. this is where calling her ane-san comes from after hearing her distaste for the title when chuuya calls her that. when he becomes an executive, dazai does end up working more closely with her and becomes one of the few people who see both the childish and dark sides of the demon of the port mafia.

#ooc.#i am incapable of writing short descriptions #suicide tw #self harm tw #drug abuse tw #child abuse tw #this was mainly so i can talk about the lupin trio #but i thought i would just write all my Thoughts down #i really feel like im missing someone tho this is agony #𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈 : WAKE ME FROM THIS OXIDIZING WORLD OF A DREAM / CHARACTER STUDY

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sirenascales · 3 years

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-> double black [part five] 18+

-> Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai

-> Who knew getting fired from work could lead to this?

-> Content: SMUT, slight angst, violence, murder, swearing

The killer is revealed! What surprises are in store? [Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai]

2,420 words

warning: mentions of domestic violence and rape, violence and straight up murder

note: here we go... this is the second to last chapter :) hope you all enjoy reading! no smut again lol

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Final || masterlist

"This place... is creepy as hell," I mumbled under my breath, glancing curiously over at Dazai as we climbed out of the car and started walking towards the large abandoned factory. "Are you sure this is where Ranpo told us to go?"

"Yep~ He's usually never wrong, so there must be something here we can find~" Dazai sang, nonchalantly walking inside the factory. I sighed deeply and quickly followed him, shivering at the creepy aura it gave off.

"Ugh, does somebody really hide out here? It's giving me the creeps," I whined, hugging myself and rubbing my hands up and down my arms.

"What if there are ghosts here?" Dazai wondered and I shuddered deeply, fear striking my heart at the mere thought.

"Don't say that!"

"Will you two shut up?" A third voice spoke up and my eyes widened in surprise.

"Chuuya? What are you doing here? And... who's that?"

In the middle of the factory, Chuuya stood before a man tied up to a single chair, a linen bag over his head. Chuuya had a deep frown on his face, obviously extremely irritated with something.

"Wh-who is that?! Please, help me!" The man begged, howling in pain when Chuuya kicked him in the stomach.

"Shut the hell up!"

"Is that the one?" Dazai asked and Chuuya nodded. I looked at them in confusion.

"The one... what?"

"This," Chuuya started. "Is the one that's been stealing from the Port Mafia for well over a year. Along with that bastard Taichi."

My jaw fell open in shock, not expecting that at all. "Wh-what do you mean stealing?"

"Exactly what it sounds like. Taichi was in charge of moving product and bringing back the cash from the Northern area of the city. He's been getting his hands in the product, selling them little by little on the side to line his pockets." Chuuya seemed to grow angrier and angrier by the second as he explained. "We've been investigating that thief for three months and we finally pieced it together. Thanks to you." Chuuya's angry gaze is now on me and I feel my heart drop to the ground.

"What do you mean? Me?" I stuttered, looking over to the man as he began to struggle in his chair. He rocked from side to side, pleading loudly for his life.

"Please, let me go!"

There was a large bang! followed by a scream as Chuuya swiftly brought out a handgun, shooting the man right in the head. I was the one who screamed.

"I hate disloyalty," Chuuya spat, his voice cold. His equally icy glare narrowed on Dazai, who didn't even react to the man being killed, unlike myself. My now shaking hands were clamped over my mouth, in shock by what I've just witnessed.

"So tell me," Chuuya began, now turning to face me. "How is it that you knew that Taichi was meeting a drug dealer... the dead man at your feet specifically?" He didn't even give me a chance to answer before he continued. "How did you know that? Were you there?"

I rapidly shook my head, heart thudding in my chest. "No!" I exclaimed, taking a step back.

"Really? Taichi was killed in the South. That wasn't his area, and he wasn't even assigned to move the product. Hasn't been for months since the investigation started." Chuuya's voice was even, and it sent shivers down my spine. I took another step back. "Well? Explain yourself."

I gulped, absolute fear coursing through my body. I could feel the sweat slide down my temple and. "W-well, I overheard him talking about what he does for you. So! I just assumed..."

Chuuya scoffed, laughing dryly. "Plausible, yes." He dug into his coat's inner pocket and I gasped sharply when he held up my knife. I was stunned, thinking I had lost it, but Chuuya had it all along. Suddenly, that day I went to visit him in his office ran through my head, and I realized that was when I last saw my knife. Fuck.

I felt a sense of dread wash over me.

"I know you take excellent care of this knife, clean it regularly. Except for the blood in the hilt."

"And the bloody clothes I found under the sink in your bathroom," Dazai finally spoke up and I gasped sharply. "You probably should have thrown those clothes away before you had me sleep over. You know I like to snoop," He continued on as I clenched my shaking fists. Dazai circled around so he and Chuuya now stood before me, tall and intimidating. "You're the killer, aren't you? Actually, you don't have to answer that. We already know that you are."

I didn't say anything, my lips pulled in a thin line as I stared at the ground. I started to breathe a bit heavily, heart pounding and my blood boiling with the anger and rage I tried to keep at bay from the moments I wake up in the morning to the time I go to sleep at night.

"Well?" Chuuya yelled, growling. "Aren't you gonna say anything?! You killed him!"

I lifted my head up, and the two men looked genuinely surprised at the look in my face, eyes dark and narrow and full of anger. I was seething, but I couldn't help the sick, twisted smile that grew on my face. "And what if I did?" I asked, tilting my head to the side. "Hell hath no fury, right?"

Suddenly, there was an almost inhuman shriek as a figure jumped out from behind the men, knife brandished and slicing right at Dazai. Dazai luckily dodged it, the figure landing on its feet before standing tall. Dazai and Chuuya are both shocked, as they now stared at the perfect clone of myself. The clone didn't give Dazai any time to process, running towards him again and slicing almost wildly with the knife in hand.

"My, what a turn of events!" Dazai exclaimed a bit excitedly, taking in my clone's features. She looked exactly like me, except she looked more wild, her face contorted into one full of rage, anger and anguish with a seemingly endless stream of tears pouring down her face. Her movements were erratic, cries leaving her mouth as she lunged for the attack.

Meanwhile, I had engaged in a fight with Chuuya, but even I could immediately tell just how outmatched I was and that I had no hopes of beating him. Still, I threw a punch at him, able to get him right in his cheek, but he quickly retaliated with a harsh kick to my side. I cried out in pain, clutching my side.

"Are you crazy," Chuuya hissed. "Ability user or not, I'm one of the best martial artists in the Port Mafia! You're not beating me!" He dodged yet another of my punches, jumping back before he kicked me again right on my torso. I grunted in pain, falling on one knee.

"I'm afraid I don't like you," Dazai told my clone as he ducked down to dodge a wild swing. He quickly shot up, successfully headbutting the clone. She cried out in pain, covering her face with her hands as she fell back, Dazai reaching out to grab one of her wrists. As soon as he did so, she disappeared, his ability coming into effect. He let out a tired whew! dusting his hands off before turning to the fight between Chuuya and I.

Even if Chuuya did outmatch me, I tried to keep fighting him, until he suddenly grabbed me and threw me hard on the ground. I gasped, the wind knocked out of me. "Fuck!" I cursed, struggling to breathe as I tried to stand up. I am forced right back on my knees, a hand pressing on my neck. My anger disappeared, and by then, I knew that it was Dazai.

Now that all my anger, and fury was gone, all I had left was the immeasurable despair that settled in my chest, tears now freely sliding down my cheeks. I couldn't stop my sobbing, feeling the two men's wide eyes on me.

"He was beating her!" I cried out, just desperate for them to hear me out before they passed their judgements on me. "Taichi... was beating Keiko and... I never knew! She's been my best friend ever since I moved here and I never had a clue! Not one! Until that day she called me.. when I was at your place," I glanced at Dazai, lip quivering as I struggled to continue. "I went home and when she came over... I knew something was wrong I... then she took off her clothes and there wasn't an inch of her skin below her neck that wasn't covered in bruises I-"

I choked up, covering my face as I started to sob uncontrollably, the pain of once seeing my friend who was so full of life, looking like a scared, beaten animal as she stood before me. As I cried, Dazai and Chuuya looked at each other, just stunned beyond words.

"I knew..." I spoke up after a moment. "That one of these days, he would actually kill her. That's why she was so afraid to leave him. He was already beating her, and raping her, what would stop him from killing her if she defied him?! Huh?!" Even with Dazai still holding onto the back of my neck, I started to grow angry. "So, I killed him. I killed him before he could have a chance to kill her!" I then stared at Chuuya in his blue eyes. "And I'll do it again."

"After Taichi dropped Keiko off at my apartment, I snuck out through the emergency stairwell and back exit to follow him. The building is old, so I knew there were no cameras."

I carefully kept the hood of my hoodie over my head as I followed Taichi from a distance, a determined look on my face, one that said that I will not stop.

I soon followed him into the alleyway, where I hid behind a dumpster and watched him do his drug deal. He was grinning and laughing, acting smug and it was honestly fucking disgusting.

"I waited until he was completely alone before confronting him. He didn't expect to see me at all."

"What the hell are you doing here?" Taichi demanded, glaring at me. He wasn't that nice, friendly guy he played himself to be anymore. "What the fuck are you doing in Port Mafia business?"

"I honestly don't give a fuck about the Port Mafia. I do give a fuck about Keiko, and you're going to stay the fuck away from her."

He just stared at me, before he threw his head back and laughed loudly. "Okay... okay, stupid bitch. That was kind of funny. Just go back home before--"

"And before he could finish his sentence, my clone stabbed him right in his back."

I watched Taichi fall to the ground, my clone falling on top of him, shrieking as she stabbed him over and over again in a rage filled flurry. There was blood everywhere, some even spraying on my clothes as I watched.

Then, I stepped closer, pulling out my knife and landing one more final blow right in his chest, killing him.

"And he was as good as dead."

"... was Keiko in on this?"

Keiko opened the door to my apartment, letting me rush inside before closing and locking the door. She turned to look at me, eyes wide as she took in the blood on my clothes.

"Did... did you..." she stuttered softly, and I nodded.

"He's dead."

Keiko burst into tears.

"You know the answer to that already."

I was sitting on the ground now, head hung low as I stared at my hands. "I killed someone," I said softly, eyes burning with tears as I clenched my fists. "But when it comes to the people I love... I will do it again. So," I turned to Dazai. "Turn me into the police." I then turned to Chuuya. "Or just shoot me in the fucking head. I'm not strong enough against either of you... I just ask that you keep Keiko out of this. She has suffered far too much already."

I kept my head down, Chuuya and Dazai standing above me. Chuuya had a displeased look on his face, though Dazai's expression looked a bit forlorn.

"You'd do anything to protect your friends," Dazai stated and I looked up at him, looking broken, and small. Dazai gritted his teeth, frowning deeply.

"This is so fucked up," Chuuya grumbled, his mind moving at a mile a second as he rubbed his temples. Taichi was as good as dead anyways, seeing as him stealing from the Port Mafia was punishable by death. So what the hell is he supposed to do now? Chuuya growled in frustration.

"Did you guys..." I started, voice small as a thought plagued my mind. "...know all along...?" I bit my lip, keeping my gaze on the floor. "And when we-"

"It's not what you think," Dazai spoke up, knowing exactly what I was thinking. "You were just sloppy. But I don't blame you for panicking, bella."

"I knew as soon as you brought up the drug deal," Chuuya spoke up and I scoffed, laughing at my own stupidity. "I just wanted to fuck you 'cause of that dress."

Dazai snorted while I couldn't help the short laugh that escaped my mouth despite the situation. I shook my head, sighing deeply. I just decided to accept their answer, as this wasn't the right time to dwell upon my insecurities. I glanced over to the dead body of Taichi's accomplice, thinking he was probably going to die by the Port Mafia's hand anyway.

Dazai followed my gaze, tilting his head a bit as he tapped his chin. "There is no DNA evidence," Dazai recalled and Chuuya narrowed his eyes at him.

"Yeah, so?" he replied, stuffing his hands in his pocket.

"So," Dazai started, glancing over at me still on the ground. "There is no proof of her involvement. Man, just what will I tell the Boss now?!" Dazai threw his hands up dramatically, Chuuya's eye twitching in annoyance.

Still, the Executive kept his mouth shut, taking in the meaning of Dazai's words. Then, he looked over at me, blue eyes staring me down before his lips twitched upwards a bit.

"Oh yeah... I won the race."

-End

tags in replies!!

#bsd x reader #chuuya x reader #dazai x reader #chuuya smut #dazai smut #yeehaw!!!

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charmspoint · 3 years

Note

Top 5 characters that live in your head rent free 🤔

For this ask meme

Oh god ONLY five??? GOOD QUESTION. This is gonna be hard to both decide on and rank fairly uhoh lets see, this ranking his shifty as hell depending on what I’m into atm obvs

5. Tsurugi Kamiya from Servamp

Does he look like a knock off Izaya? Yes. Is he? Very much no.

Tsurugi is like my no 1 reason for getting back into Servamp, I left right in the middle of his arc and I ;-; IS HE OKAY??? DID HE GET AWAY FROM TOUMA??? DID HE BECOME WRATHS EVE??? NOBODY TELL ME I’LL FIND OUT ON MY OWN.

Servamp was one of those shows where I didn’t really have a fav main character for a good while until this guy showed up. This guy is an absolute crazy little monster I can’t overemphasize on this, his coat is used as a fucking straight jacket I’m not even kiddin

You get introduced to him and he’s scary and terrifying because he’s so strong, like he’s one of those strongest in the series characters and since he and the heroes are on semi opposing sides he is a serious threat. So you get introduced to this guy who seems borderline crazy and feral and then...you get to see him goofing off with his two boyfriends and their kid and it’s just

The domesticity!!!!Look at it!!!! It’s so fucking cute aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, they are so cute together OT3 of C3 ftw, MY SON. Like Tsurugi had a horribly abusive childhood and was basically raised like an attack dog and his previous partner :) well he do be trying to seriously kill him don’t he. But look! He found his own little family he can be semi normal in!! Until is torn apart by his abusive adoptive father figure :D!!! I ABANDONED HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT ARC AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im sorry this got so long on this particular character none of the others will be so long i just miss him TSURUGI ILL CATCH UP FOR YOU!!!! Maybe he should have been no 1 hbjhbjh fucking sleeper agents am i right

4. Izaya Orihara from Durarara

Ah yes, the og queen bitch. Has my taste for villains ever recovered from Izaya? No. If your villain isn’t at least a bit like Izaya I’m not interested. Durarara was one of my first serious fandoms and Izaya was the first character I ever wrote for and I think you can explain me as a person if you consider Izaya was my all time fav at 13. I can’t really say anything about Izaya that hasn’t been said thousands of times before, I love how goofy and overperformative he can be, I love how there’s so much in him once you crack him open, I love how good of a villain he is for a messy story such as DRRR, puppeteer villains are really a league of their own. We need more puppeteering twinks, maybe then I’d be more into villains yaknow.

3. Hawks from Boku no Hero Academia

To no ones surprise!Him! I’ve been drifting off from BNHA recently what from catching bad case of JJK what from just reading n watching more other stuff and honestly that’s probably good because I’ve been into BNHA for a couple of years now as my main fandom and I really could have used a break. Not to say I don’t like BNHA anymore tbh I think right now BNHA is the best it’s ever been just ya know, drifting. That being said my love for Hawks will never die, god what a good boy and we got his backstory too aaa ;-;. BNHA was just like Servamp, something I liked but didn’t really have a fav character in until this random support character strolled in and won my heart. God I love how much we got on Hawks. He’s completely different from his initial impression and his unrelenting strive to do good despite being thrown from one horrible situation to the next is just ;-; HES SUCH A GOOD BOY. He’s selfless to a fault, literally putting everyone before himself and putting himself down for not being able to achieve more than is humanly possible I’m just ;-; I WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY. He just makes my heart happy, he’s good and warm and hardworking and in a manga where trauma plays such a major role in so many characters it’s so good to see Hawks there, having been through three different types of hell and still coming out unnerving in his goodness. All I want for him is to have a good life and to one day be able to smile for real.

2. Gojo Satoru from Jujutsu Kaisen

Again no surprise since I’ve been so into jjk lately. Satoru is p high up rn cuz I’m mainly into JJK now but god knows where he will actually settle. He’s not even really my favorite character in the show, that goes to Inumaki, but this is a list of who I think about the most (tho all of these characters are either no 1 or no 2 for their shows) and boy my brother and foxy can tell you I’m constantly thinking about this bitch. I didn’t really care about him that much at the start but then I got to Hidden Inventory and OH BOY MUCH TO THINK ABOUT. Satoru is such a wonderfully complex character whos evolution you can clearly follow through the years. He’s under so much pressure as the strongest sorcerer to deal with everything and he has to operate in that system trying to change it for the better while at the same time trying to make sure his students arent sacrificed in the name of that change. He has a very goofy disposition but along side with Nanamin who’s a lot more explicit about it, it’s clear he cares about mental state of his students a whole lot. He knows this world is terrible and that the will come out of it with scars and that he can’t protect them from all of it, but he balances protecting and letting them grow as much as he can. They need to grow so jujutsu society can change after all, but they also need to be protected so they don’t fuckin die before that can happen. This is without all the many many opinions I have on Hidden Inventory and SatoSugu as a whole, how they influenced each other, how differently they reacted to their shared trauma (Funny how everyone on this list is fuckin traumatized) and what resulted from it. How their fucking love story is dramatic enough to be a Shakespeare play. Also I like it when he’s long and goofy ahahah

1. Chuuya Nakahara from Bungou Stray Dogs

Not to objectify men on main but I couldn’t choose a picture

If there is ever a day when I don’t go feral over Chuuya I’ll probably be dead. He not only lives in my head rent free he owns the place.

HES SO UNDERUSED.

BSD has such a great setup with Chuuya, like he’s ex partners with the mentor of the main character who got betrayed and abandoned when the mentor left shared evil organization. Sounds like grounds for drama right? YOUD THINK SO. Like Chuuya and Dazai have such a great and interesting dynamic and you can feel how strained it is from the distance and betrayal and they bicker and fight as their defining relationship trait BUT there is such a strong underlying trust to all the fighting. These two trust each other with their whole lives and that hasn’t changed despite everything, despite how much time has passed and how much that trust had been tested. So you’d think he’d be an important character :) HES STUCK IN SUPPORT HONESTLY HES STUCK IN BACKGROUND UNLESS HES NEEDED TO DO SOMETHING COOL AAAAAA. Chuuya is literally one of a kind, I’ve never seen a character with such a good design and such an cool power and such an interesting relationship to one of the main characters and such a love and support from the fandom BE SO UTERLLY AND COMPLETLY WASTED. Even when we get Chuuya scraps they rarely build on relationship he has in canon but just throw in new random ones at him (tho that’s a broader problem of Kafka throwing new characters at the plot instead of developing the one he already has really). We get a hint of a cool fight with him? Completely cut out, More often then not it just feels like he is benched because he’s so damn strong there would just be no plot tension if he went in and broke some heads (which is also a problem with Satoru, guys stop writing op characters if you’ll just put em on the bus aaa). Anyway he’s completly and utterly wasted by the plot.

And it’s such a waste because he’s such a good character. Like he’s a member if the villain organization and is obviously by that very vicious and violent but also so empathetic and kind to people he considers his friends. He and Dazai have the brawn and brain thing going on and stg Chuuya is like the only brawn I can think of that is classier then their brain. Look at how this guy dressed, he’s high class gay, hat, choker, coat, gloves, he is bringing in the looks. I love how he can actually be completely calm and rational and put together but then put him with Dazai and it’s back to ‘we are 15 and we will scream out heads off at each other’, they are so childish.

Anyway I love Chuuya he deserves to be treated better and I will never stop screaming about Chuuya ever

#anon #lucy rants #ask game #this one was the most fun so far aaa i like to geek out #sorry it took so long anon but i had lots of fun with it <3

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tia-dreamer · 5 years

Text

SoukokuWeek2019 Day 4

Prompts:

Price - Debt and Payment - “Take a good swing at me and everything is even.”

Nice, normal mornings weren’t really something that was familiar to the people working at the Armed Detective Agency in Yokohama. So when one such morning rolled around quietly, when suddenly there were no emergencies or extra chores to do and even Dazai was only lazing around on the couch, everyone distrusted it. Immensely. These sort of morning’s always came with too steep a price. In the two hours since the work day started Dazai had caught six people sending prayers to various deities, seen Ranpo case the room, twice, and had been enduring looks from every single person in the office. Even from the Chief! It really wasn’t fair. Dazai had nothing to do with this, and he had, for once, little inclination to stir up trouble.

Though that was suspicious in it’s own right, maybe, so even he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

And drop it did, about fifteen minutes later, when the door to the office was flung open violently, in a way that hinted at a kick more than an enthusiastic push. Dazai saw a good amount of people relax, from his vantage point, and then blanch.

He heard the croaked sounds of breaking floor panels and familiar footsteps before he ever caught a glimpse of their surprise visitor. He buried his head more in the couch cushions. No, Chuuya was annoying on the best of days and he didn’t want to get kicked around again for some tiny issue that the Chibi blew out of proportion to compensate his stature.

“Ah, Nakahara-san?”

Weird, Kunikida sounded perplexed.

“Heh?! So you all do know me. Wonderful. So where is the Spoiled Brat?”

Dazai hadn’t heard that nickname in years- what-

“Aaaah- What happened, Nakaha-”

“What do you think, de-tec-tives?”

Dazai had a bad feeling about this. But the conclusion his brain was shoving at him sounded disastrous and he really needed to check it, before he started believing it. So he sat up, made his way over to the opening of the visitor booth and turned to look out into the office.

“Chib-eh?”

Well. Fuck.

Staring back at him was a tiny - and for once he didn't mean his height, though that of course was a fact as well - version of Nakahara Chuuya. A fifteen year old version, to be exact. Same clothes, but short haired once again, and he couldn't see that one scar on his jaw that Chuuya had gotten at 17.

“Fuck me, did you let someone stretch out your skeleton, asshole?”

That pulled Dazai out of his stupor. His response was reflexive as always.

“No, I just think Chibi shrank overnight. I didn't know you wanted to compete for the ‘tiniest microbe’ competition so badly you’d get yourself de-aged Chuuya.”

“I just woke up to a stranger poking me with needles and an older version of your little shackle freaking out. I don’t know what happened, okay?”

A huff, but less aggravated and much more indulging than he had heard it in years. Dazai let a smile slip onto his face.

“Well, Chuuya most probably ran afoul of an ability and now I get a flashback to Mini-Chuuya. Maybe I should send them some flowers? Chuuya gets a lot less cute when he grows… or rather, when he ages. You don't really grow, Chibi, even though I tried watering you.”

“Oh fuck off.”

“Wait what?”

Dazai decided to ignore his coworkers in favour of interacting with a much less jaded version of his ex-partner. Not to mention that Chuuya was actually scared, considering he hadn't risen to half the bait Dazai had slipped into their conversation. It had always been the easiest gauge for his mental state.

And Chuuya must be wondering what the deal was with Dazai at the ADA of all places. Maybe he didn't want to see it right that moment, but he would get the picture soon enough. Dazai didn't want anyone else to see that confrontation.

So he went and slung an arm around his ex-partner-turned-child-present-partner, ignoring how Chuuya didn't even try to shrug off the contact, and tried to grin at the whole office, all of whom were staring in shock or horror at the scene. Ah, silver linings, those were a thing people prattled on about sometimes, didn't they?

“Well, I guess Chuuya and I will see if I can’t find a rogue de-aging gifted, so we’ll be going-”

“Dazai-kun.”

Dazai stiffened as Fukuzawa-san stepped into the office proper, looking somewhat more severe that usual.

“Ah, yes, Chief?”

“Mori-sensei just informed me that their Executive went missing after a run in with a very curious ability user. It seems he is no longer missing, though.”

Dazai felt the startling and unfamiliar urge to shove Chuuya behind him and hide him from view, even as the 15-year-old stepped forward instead, straightening out and jaw stubbornly set as he stared at the man who fought with Mori on even footing. Not that Chuuya actually knew that.

“I didn’t go fucking missing. And who wants to know that anyway, I don’t answer to you.”

Dazai wasn't aware of whatever face he was making, but it was probably a pained one. A cornered Chuuya was never a good thing. Even now, Dazai could hear the floor creak ominously, and Chuuya was tensing like he was readying himself for a fight. This was… less than ideal.

After a quick moment of contemplation Dazai reached out to pull Chuuya back towards him, hand mostly on his left shoulder, but very deliberately also touching the side of his neck.

“Down boy.”

“Not a dog, Dazai. Two weeks of no names, remember?”

Oh. That made the age Chuuya had been… well, de-aged to much easier to pinpoint.

“Ah, it has been seven years for me, Chuuya. But I’ll be nice and refrain anyways, how’s that?”

A kick against his shin, and then Dazai’s face was pulled down a good foot until it was almost level with Chuuya’s.

“Don’t fucking patronize me, shitty mummy. I’ve been in worse situations and you don’t need to fucking coddle me. You never did before.”

He didn’t so much as blink at the rapid change in perspective.

“Ah, but last time we were both irresponsible teenagers. I’m an adult now and you're still tiny.”

Another kick, hitting the exact same spot with pinpoint accuracy, before Chuuya stepped away and to the side, eyes never leaving the people around them. He smirked.

“I call bullshit. That one over there is younger than me, and considering she has her own desk and a knife that she’s been grasping at for the last five minutes, I doubt this place is any less of one that employs children.”

The grin turned wolfish as he met Kyoka’s gaze head on. “And I’ve definitely killed more people than her. You're not coddling her. So you can shove your adult responsibilities up your ass.”

Again, both of them ignored the offended gasps and exclamations from their audience. Dazai had to admit they weren’t used to that. He didn’t call them out either, and didn't want to be called out for his own hypocrisy any more than them. But Chuuya had always been blunt and sharp-edged at the same time.

So a rueful sigh was the only reaction Dazai allowed himself.

“Very well, Chuuya. But fighting’s still not in the plan right now.”

“Quite right.” Fukuzawa interrupted whatever Chuuya had had to say to that, and gave them both a quelling look. Thankfully Chuuya only glared, uttering a “Tch,” before falling silent and focussing on Fukuzawa-san as well.

“Nakahara-kun. I will inform Mori-sensei of your whereabouts. Considering your temporal displacement, you might be under considerable stress, so I will negotiate terms with him to have Dazai and you stay together and for the ADA to take on your case to reverse whatever happened to you.” His gaze shifted to Dazai, who felt himself straighten, relief coursing through him. “Dazai-kun, please show Nakahara-kun to our infirmary. We should at least make sure that there is no unexpected strain on him.”

And then the white-haired man turned on his heel to step back into the hallway.

“Eeeh?” Chuuya fixed another glare at Dazai. “What is he-”

“Chuuya.”

The redhead narrowed his eyes at the taller man. “Urgh. Fine. I don’t want to stay near an audience anyway.”

That was as much of a concession as Dazai could hope for, not that it meant that Chuuya had surrendered to whatever plan the people around him were making. Dazai knew that with a surety that came from years of being stuck next to Chuuya in these sorts of situations. So he led the way towards the infirmary and Yosano-san, and hoped against hope that it wouldn't blow up in everyone’s faces. After a few steps, a third set of those made themselves known, and both of them turned around, almost simultaneously. The little out-of-synch movements were a stark reminder that this wasn’t his Chuuya- his time’s Chuuya. They came face-to-face with Kunikida, glaring and pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“I do not believe leaving you alone with a Mafia execute is a good idea, Dazai-kun. For your safety and ou-”

Dazai threw a quelling look at his partner. He really didn’t need Kunikida to give Chuuya more information on what the situation was like. It would complicate things immensely and-

“Oh come off it.” Chuuya swatted at Dazai with a hand and shook his head.

“I don't have the full picture but you've obviously left m- the mafia. I’m an executive and that guy is your new partner. And we’ve had run-ins that were less than friendly. I won't be here that long, so I don't much care because for now you’re a somewhat more annoying version of my partner as far as i'm concerned, so don't sweat it, okay?”

Abort. Deflect.

“Chuuya is really giving his brain a workout today, are you sure you won't drop dead from exertion?”

A quicksilver grin as Chuuya gave him the finger. “You’re the one with no stamina to speak of, spoiled brat. That's the whole reason why you can't call me names, remember? OR are you getting amnesiac in your old age?”

The grin that took over Dazai’s face then was completely involuntary, for the record. And he got a pleased little grin in return as Chuuya noted that yes, Dazai remembered quite well. But then Chuuya’s expression hardened as he looked back to Kunikida.

“You wanna come, you walk in front of us. You obviously trust Dazai, but I don't trust you at my back, mullet-man. Not even if shitty Dazai does.”

In the face of one person already on the verge of a conniption, and the looming threat of Yosano-sensei, Dazai was actually loath to poke Chuuya by admitting that he had grown his hair out to at least resemble a mullet in the furthest sense as well.

Instead, he took a few steps, laid a hand on Kunikida’s shoulder and then dragged and pushed him towards the infirmary in front of Chuuya.

Yosano caught one glimpse of the Chi- of Chuuya and slammed the door in Kunikida’s face. Dazai genuinely didn't know who had the funnier reaction: Kunikida, who was squawking something about decorum and basic curtesy, or Chuuya, who stared and then started laughing. Dazai was probably the only human in existence who could see the flash of calculation that made Chuuya’s eyes glow before the redhead, seemingly impulsively, started cackling and jeering about scared old ladies.

And it was effective. Chuuya knew as well as Dazai did how to coax people into certain reactions. For Dazai, it was a learned skill he used in accord with his observational abilities - he was brilliant at figuring out exactly what to say, but Chuuya got people. And an impertinent teenager calling her old? Yosano-san hauled them all into the room after less than ten seconds of loud taunting.

What followed was a rapid fire check-up that went over surprisingly smoothly, considering that Chuuya didn’t know her and had never taken well to strangers prodding him, and that Yosano-san only ever interacted with him the time he had attacked their hide-out. It was a less than ideal situation for a cordial visit. But the two of them spoke little, and interacted mostly through gestures and nods and really, it almost seemed like they had come to an understanding right under Dazai’s nose without making it apparent in any way. How had they done that?

But then they were done, and Yosano swept out of the room, “to update Fukuzawa-san on the situation”, and Kunikida and Dazai both stared after her. Chuuya apparently hadn’t felt the need to do the same, because he was flopped down on the bed and had pulled out a phone he was holding above his head and by all appearances engrossed in.

Kunikida fell for it like the utter fool he was. Dazai almost wanted to shake his head, but then again, most people didn't expect a 16 year old to deliberately thump his nose at them or try to aggravate him. And Kunikida would see the child before the 16 year old mafia member and mass-murder weapon just because he was lounging around, playing on a phone and affecting a careless attitude. Chuuya had learned exactly how to take advantage of people’s misconceptions. He’d routinely seen Dazai pull the same move, after all.

“Are you not the least bit cornered about your situation, young man?”

Moments like these, Dazai could see exactly what the math teacher had been like once upon a time. He had a certain “adult-to-child” demeanour that was, if Dazai was being honest, and he always tried to be so as little as possible, very aggravating.

“‘Course not. The boss can’t stand missing an executive and the mummy misses the older me- I’ll essentially cease to exist as soon as they find whoever did this. And that won’t take long with the port mafia on the job.”

“Do not talk so casually about death!”

Chuuya turned his face towards the blonde man. “Your partner was literally humming that bloody suicide song of his when I arrived.”

“Dazai should never be a standard to which to hold yourself-”

“I fucking know. Get off your high horse, mullet-man. I’m not suicidal, I’m realistic. And I haven’t ever seen that waste of bandages as someone I wanted to be like in any capacity.”

“Aww, Chuuya, you’re hurting my feelings!”

“Fuck off, Dazai, you don’t have feelings that can get hurt.”

It was telling how complacent Dazai had gotten within the ADA when it took honest effort to suppress the minute twitch at that. Kunikida seemed too just get more aggravated.

“Now-”

“Oh please. You may know this version but Dazai is still the same shithead who manipulated my friends into stabbing me in the back and also literally stabbing me just so he could get a minion of his own.”

Blue eyes glared into Dazai’s direction. “Not to mention that he also decided that clumsily flirting with me would be a good idea afterwards because he had no people skills and wanted an obedient little housewife and attack dog in one.”

Kunikida sputtered. Dazai just wasn’t sure what to think of Chuuya airing out their past in front of his current partner. Especially because the blonde started muttering something mostly unintelligible, and the only words Dazai caught were something to do with “straight” and “terrible” and Dazai really didn’t care to know exactly what made Chuuya chuckle at that. He could extrapolate it anyways, thank you very much, especially when Chuuya calmed down and shook his head at the former math teacher.

“You guys completely fell for his shitty obfuscation didn't you. Figures.” And then a mean little grin spread over his face.

“I was his first kiss.”

And when Kunikida, predictably (really, Dazai needed to teach his partner something about composure in the face of obvious distractions. Then again, he had never needed to teach that before) lost his calm once more, Dazai was all to aware that Chuuya’s grin was a mirror image to his own.

Chuuya had picked up a lot just by watching him. And Kunikida’s denials continued, much too Chuuya’s obvious amusement. “Ya’think the guy knew other people he’d get into a five foot radius off? Fuck no.”

And that, apparently, was too much for the blonde’s brain, because it evidently gave up on processing anything it had been occupied with for the last minutes, to instead fixate on Chuuya’s vocabulary.

“Language.”

“Fuck you I lived on the streets for 7 years.”

Dazai now really wanted to laugh at the way Kunikida turned purple, but Kunikida might implode if he did that, so instead he raised an eyebrow at the sixteen-year-old and raised an eyebrow. He was met with a sharp grin.

“I don’t think most girls will appreciate that sort of language.”

Chuuya’s head turned so quickly towards the blonde again that Dazai almost got whiplash, and the face Chuuya wore was one of utter bewilderment.

“I literally just told you that I own Dazai’s first kiss. I’m fucking gay, what the fuck would I care what some civilian chick thinks about me?”

Dazai still tried, but now he really couldn't hold back his laughter. Oh, that was precious.

And that was the scene that Yosano arrived back to: Chuuya glaring incredulously as Kunikida squawked and Dazai laughed at the whole situation.

Chuuya was remarkably quiet and almost… well, not exactly docile but definitely more agreeable than expected as they made their way out of the ADA and as Dazai started herding him towards Dazai’s own flat. He was not going to leave him out of his sight, and he had sensibly decided not to think about the reasons for that.

The calm lasted until they had turned three corners and Chuuya dragged Dazai along in two consecutive loops, executed to catch any possible tails and really, Dazai fell into step with Chuuya way too easily. It had been a habit before they both turned 18, to shake any tails and trip up Hirotsu when they wanted less supervision.

It was plain discomfiting. Everything was nostalgic in ways that bothered Dazai. The Mafia had been horrible, and still was. But these weren’t bad memories. Ambivalent mostly, though he couldn't help a certain fondness when it came to the pure life that Chuuya exuded as 16, arrogant and confident and settled into a space that he could fit himself into.

Seeing him like this, Dazai only just realised how much the PM had broken his partner in the later years. He knew how it had broken himself, but he hadn't been watching closely enough to see the same thing happen to Chuuya.

Evidently though, it had.

Just for a moment he wondered how much he himself had contributed to that. But that almost made him want to throw up, so he turned towards the currently 16 year-old to start some other nonsensical discussion and met Chuuya’s own narrow-eyed stare.

“What is she going to want?”

“Huh?”

Chuuya levelled a glare at Dazai. “The Doc Lady. You said you trust her with your life, but you also said she is an acquaintance,” Chuuya affected air quotes, “of the boss’s.”

“Chuuya, Yosano-san’s not like that.”

That had come out more placating than Dazai had intended. And Chuuya, understandably, growled at that.

“Bull. Ane-san said it's... like, Debt and Payment. It's a ‘principle of human interaction.’ And seriously, you know as well as I do that His acquaintances never do shit for free.”

Dazai hummed noncommittally as he steered them around another corner, smoothly avoiding the police outpost on that street.

“Yosano-Sensei is possibly the person least likely to ever become one of Mori’s typical acquaintances, Chuuya. There is quite a bit of bad blood there, from what I have gathered.”

And incredulous look.

“What, you haven’t gone snooping and gotten your hands on the whole story? When did you grow a sense of respect for other people’s privacy?”

“Imagine trying to spy on Ane-san, Chuuya.”

That single sentence made both of them wince as they looked at each other out of the corners of their eyes. If he had been a lesser man, Dazai would have shuddered. Spying on Ozaki Kouyou was as good as signing a warrant for eternal torture- not death, but unending, eternal torture. Dazai was not a fan.

“Fact is, Yosano-Sensei may know Mori, but she is not the type to ask for payment from a 16 year old. Maybe it will be different once you are back… to an older age, but I doubt you will care all that much.”

There was a huff.

“Alright, we’ll see.”

“Aww, doesn’t Chuuya trust me?”

The bristling came as no surprise, even as Dazai made sure to smile extra-irritatingly.

“Not as far as I can throw you, shitty mummy. You know that.”

Dazai shrugged. “Well, you are here.”

“Because there is nowhere else to go! At least you’re honest with your fucking shady shit.”

The brunette stopped and rolled his eyes. “Of course, Chuuya, but I did mean that you are here- this is my apartment building.”

Chuuya stared up the clean, if somewhat old high rise and raised an eyebrow.

“You’ve really moved up in the world, now, haven’t you,” he quipped, voice laced heavily with sarcasm. Dazai very obviously bend down a little to smile at him. “Well, since Chuuya never went up all that much I did have an advantage, didn’t I?”

He got a rude gesture for his trouble and a quick hand snatched the keys and stomped inside.

“Fuck off!”

Dazai trailed after the teenager, smug grin firmly settled on his face until they both were in the elevator and Dazai pressed the button to his floor. It was a quick ride, and then Dazai made a beeline for his door and was overtaken by Chuuya as soon as he had discerned which door Dazai was heading towards. He let them both in.

The apartment Dazai lived in was the complete opposite of his staff-cleaned room in the Port Mafia. After two years in hiding that had been intentional. Possibly the most deliberate decision he had made during those years. It wasn’t vast or clean-cut, it wasn’t a stylish combo of monotone colours and the lights and window blinds weren’t automated.

Not to mention that he had to take out his own trash which… he should have done two days ago, judging by the state of his overflowing bin.

And he knew he had a spare futon somewhere because Yosano had gotten a new one for her place and the old one hadn’t been threadbare yet… he just wasn’t sure where exactly it was.

Chuuya, evidently completely unbothered by the state of Dazai’s flat, had slipped off his shoes and made his way down the hallway meanwhile to peer into every room until he found the kitchen. And he’d already found the Onigiri Dazai had planned on having for dinner, as well as two cans of canned crab from his emergency stash.

When Dazai entered the room, Chuuya wordlessly shoved the cans at him and proceeded to dog into his Onigiri and Dazai very belatedly remembered that Chuuya had been a bottomless pit during his teenage years. He didn't even know if that had changed. He made a face at the redhead.

“Were you not planning on eating me out of house and home, Chuuya?”

“Fuck off, I’m hungry, and tired and its not even 6. You don't have shit to cook and I’m not going outside again. You’ll just drag me along into another disaster.”

“I think Chuuya is the disaster out of the two of us.”

Chuuya snorted.

“Yeah right. That little assassin girl was great at detailing exactly how much shit you get up to while you were talking to that boss of yours.” A click of his tongue and a bite as he watched Dazai sit down opposite him. “Seems to me like you just walk from one shitshow into the next ever since you left the PM.”

Dazai took a very deliberate bite of his crab.

“Shitshows are universal when you’re around ability users, Chuuya.”

The redhead rolled his eyes at him.

“Oh fuck off with your evasive bullshit. I already said I don’t care, didn't I? I know exactly what the Port Mafia is like.”

Dazai stared at him for a moment. Maybe this version didn't care, but his partner did.

It had been overly blatant during both their reunion in the basement and during the Lovecraft debacle. Dazai just hadn’t noticed that he had been stepping on someone’s trust at the same time. Words didn’t matter. And neither did words spoken as Chuuya slumped over in exhaustion. Those were negligible. But that his partner, a version of his partner that didn’t know him half as well too, had chosen to come to him when faced with a situation that could have had multiple available solutions?

It drove home what Chuuya had already said a few times. He did trust Dazai. Not just in the “we have to work together and you’re my ball and chain and you won’t let me level the city” kind of way, but genuinely trusted him to search him out in a vulnerable situation.

Dazai swallowed another bite and got up, making a deliberately stupid little wave at Chuuya and made his way out of the room to find the second futon.

This wasn’t something to think about now, when Chuuya watched him closely enough that he might even be able to decipher Dazai’s thoughts.

Older Chuuya and his preconceived notions was much easier to lead around the nose.

He ignored the catty “coward” comment that drifted after him.

Dazai’s phone rang at 3 a.m. that night.

Chuuya had sat up straight on his futon before Dazai even turned to the side to reach for it, a dark, lanky silhouette in the room that was only illuminated by the sliver of a waxing moon.

He picked up the phone and accepted the call from a blocked number. And really, at this time, there were very few people that would call him.

“Dazai-kun.”

“Mori-san!” Dazai chirped, deliberately chipper, as he watched Chuuya tense and straighten. “What seems to be the problem at this hour?”

“I do fear for your intellect, if you cannot deduce it from the situation, Dazai-kun. But very well. We have found the hiding place of the ability user that affected Chuuya-kun, so we would be very happy if you could make your way there post haste.”

“Ah, but it is very early, Mori-san, don’t you think?”

“Fukuzawa-dont has assured me that you will be happy to help and resolve this issue as soon as possible, Dazai-kun.“

Dazai sighed. There was little he could do to stall for time in this. And with the way Chuuya was up and grabbing the day clothes at his side, he knew so as well.

He suppressed another sigh. “Very well, Mori-san, send me the address and we will make our way there.”

He almost grinned the pause that followed.

“You might remember Chuuya at 16, Mori-san, I won’t be able to keep him from going without grievous harm to myself and we both know I would rather avoid that.”

“Very well. See that you don’t dawdle,” came the terse reply, and then the call broke off. Dazai pouted slightly at his phone. Mori could really bet indescribably rude.

And still, he rolled out of bed and made his way towards his wardrobe, pulling out a somewhat darker attire than he regularly wore nowadays.

When going into an area undoubtedly swarming with Port Mafia goons though, he was very much conscious that this would make it just a little easier for him to blend in and keep the tension at a minimum. Not really necessary normally, but he was walking in there without any sort of back-up this time.

Dazai went into the bathroom after Chuuya came out, completely dressed and hair still wet, but not dripping all over the place like Dazai sometimes left his own.

And fifteen minutes later they were stepping outside again, heading towards the nearest subway station as some other blocked number send him coordinates. The train ride was filled with a mostly tense silence, with Chuuya obviously caught up in his own thoughts and Dazai trying to puzzle out whom he would have to deal with in the next half hour. Hirotsu was almost a given, but he didn’t know whether Mori would send Akutagawa and Gin-chan just to complicate matters or if he would not, to facilitate a quick and successful mission.

It was a bit of a toss-up, and as such not something Dazai was particularly happy about.

When they did get out at their final station, they both noticed the suited men waiting for them at the street corner. Dazai only just caught the undecipherable look that Chuuya send in his direction before they met up with the men and were lead down a few alleyways, only to stop in front of what looked like a shop in the middle of renovations, and one that was awfully quiet.

“Huh, is the show over already?”

A familiar voice reached them from the door. “Dazai-kun, Nakahara-kun. You’ve missed the exciting part.”

Hirotsu-san stepped out a minute later, looking as unruffled as always, even in the face of a way-too-often-seen traitor and a de-aged superior.

The older man gestured for them to step inside.

“We’ve already captured the ability user, and Mori-sama was asking for a quick resolution of the matter, so if you would, Dazai-kun?”

Dazai hummed and turned to look at his de-aged partner, feeling his smile turn... weird on his face.

“Well, Chuuya, that was a very short-term solution to your fear of aging, don’t you think?”

“At least I don’t dress like a grandpa, half the time, you fucking waste of bandages.”

A sharp grin and a shove that did make Dazai stumble, even though he had seen it coming.

“Now go and resolve this fucking mess, you procatinating disaster.”

“Stop trying to order me around brat, you’Re to tiny to look down on me.”

But Dazai went and turned around, walking past the row of grunts and Hirotsu to stand in front of the obviously unconscious man. It was a male, most probably over 40, lying in the dirt and obviously at least somewhat post-torture. Dazai couldn’t find it in himself to feel bad for him. He’d attacked Chuuya after all. And speaking of Chuuya-

“Just a minute.“

“Chuuya-kun?”

Hirotsu’s face looked vaguely disapproving as the teenager ran past the goons and right at Dazai, who, really, had expected this. Chuuya would want to get in at least one hit, he’d known that.

But then, suddenly, Chuuya was right in his face, and Dazai knew that look. It was stubborn and fixated on him and really, it felt nice to be looked at like that. Like someone wanted him. Like someone cared.

It felt a lot less nice when he considered that this was an out-of-his-depth sixteen-year-old who had latched onto him for all the wrong reasons.

Dazai didn‘t want this Chuuya. He had outgrown this Chuuya when Chuuya himself had outgrown that age. He still liked the boy, loved him, maybe, but in a distant sort of way. Like a memory, perhaps, and definitely not in a way that would make him comfortable kissing a teenager. Especially with all these people around him.

So he stepped back. And, really, the look the boy gave him was… it hurt Dazai possibly almost as much as it seemed to hurt Chuuya. But this was the right thing to do. The thing Oda would have nodded his head and smiled at him for.

But Chuuya’s face… Dazai crossed the distance he had put between them himself and hugged the redhead.

There were… so many things he could have said, but none felt adequate because, in the end, Chuuya had been right. This version of him would cease to exist- would, for lack of a better word, die. And though they both had always been more than familiar with the harsh reality of their own mortality, it still had to be scary.

So he hugged his younger partner and felt gratified, maybe and slightly humbled, as he felt the smaller male hug him back and bury his pale face in Dazai’s vest. And then Dazai reached back with the other arm to blindly grasp the forearm of Chuuya’s attacker.

There was a shocked gasp, and a cut-off yell, and something pulsed in Dazai’s arms before the rapidly aging body crumpled to the floor, heavier than Dazai could manage to hold up with one arm. Instead he went down with him, kneeling as he tried to lay Chuuya down gently, head cushioned on his lap.

Just from the way his jaw was clenched Chuuya was almost certain that Chuuya was living through a condensed amount of growing pains. Of course he wouldn’t scream. Both Dazai and Chuuya had learned very, very early on in their mafia careers that screaming often only made things worse.

And then Chuuya‘s hair was back at normal length, slightly wet looking and Dazai would bet that Chuuya would take a 30 minute shower the moment he got back to his own home.

Most people would have stayed unconscious after something like this. Chuuya woke up half a minute later, scowl on his face and eyes narrowed.

“Fuck that was a fucked up trip.”

“Well, if Chuuya hadn’t decided he wanted to try out the newest de-aging treatment this could have all been avoided, but Chuuya’s brain is possibly too small to think of the consequences.”

Dazai knew that it wasn’t his best work. Really, he did, but the actually amused snort his partner made was just about worth it.

He didn’t stop the Chibi from sitting up, didn’t try to help because that would have just resulted in a fist in his face, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave just yet either.

He should have. Dazai knew he should have, but it just wasn’t something he was willing to do right this second. With a certain amount of absentmindedness he noted that Chuuya didn’t seem to want to stand up just yet either, was resting back on his hands and staring up at the ceiling.

Dazai managed to do the same thing for one, strangely peaceful moment as well, and then he was caught off guard the second time in the last fifteen minutes as Chuuya, once again, decided to get right into his personal space.

He was clutching at Dazai’s collar again, the brunette noticed vaguely, as he stared into still narrowed blue eyes.

It wasn’t the same soft look the sixteen-year-old version had levelled at him. It was harder, more bitter and held a wealth of history but at least it was really Chuuya’s. And so were the words.

“You don’t get to pull away and deny me after you coddled me this whole day, bastard.”

Chuuya kissed him before he had really processed the words.

All things considered, it was one of the chaster kisses between them, but Dazai could feel his blood rushing towards his face anyway. They were in public. Hirotsu of all people was standing not 10 meters behind them and the first thing Chuuya did after a day under the influence of a quirk was kiss him? When had he stopped being capable of predicting the Chibi?

Dazai kept sitting on the floor when Chuuya stopped pressing their lips together and stood, barking orders at the Port Mafia members surrounding them. And then he swivelled around to glare at Dazai and point a finger at him as Dazai finally started to stand up.

“And don’t you fucking vanish! We need to talk about some things. I’ll come by tonight, and don't you try avoiding me. I need to go do fucking paperwork now.“

Dazai stared at the tiny whirlwind that was his partner and sighed. Really, today was already not his day. He had just been planning to hide on the Agency’s sofa for a while. So, really, he didn't feel like having a talk with Chuuya. Those always ended with a bloody nose, even if you could talk and blackmail himself out of everything. The grin he affected was, Dazai admitted to himself, deliberately shady.

“Ahh, Chibi, how about this: You take a good swing at me and everything is even right now, so you don’t have to come and search me out later.”

To be honest, it was kind of impressive that Chuuya had even heard him over the ruckus the Mafia Goons were making around them. But he evidently did? Because he sent an exasperated glare into Dazai’s direction.

“Are you fucking… Urgh.” Then he took Dazai’s wrist and dragged him out of the room and down the hall, ignoring Dazai’s questions in favour of looking at doors and finally pulling both of them into something that looked like an office. The door was shut with a kick, and then Chuuya was in Dazai’s personal space, hands coming up to grip at his shirt collar and pulling Dazai down until their foreheads were almost touching.

“Listen to me for once in your goddamn life, Mackerel. What you did was decent. Really, fucking decent, ok? I know, you're on the side of the light and all that blah blah blah. But I didn't expect shit as a 16 year-old. You would have had an easier time not trying to coddle and protect me from your own friends. No one would have blamed you. You wouldn't have done so at any other time. So there's something that actually changed. I didn't think so before, and somehow I think you didn't either. So take this situation as proof, got it?”

Dazai thought back to leaving Chuuya, exhausted from corruption, lying on a battlefield. Thought of a sixteen year old version not even shrugging off his arm, as Chuuya let go of him and stepped back a tiny bit.

Then Dazai felt a punch on his shoulder, much less painful that it could have been and shifted his focus to stare into Chuuya’s eyes.

“We have more to talk about. I mean what I said. Be home tonight. I’ll hunt you down if you’re not, but you wont like it.” Dazai made a show of pouting.

“Ah, but who says I like Chuuya near me at any time? You’re annoying, Chibi.”

A snort, utterly amused. Oh. That was… not the intended reaction.

“Yeah, try selling that to someone who didn’t see you light up when I was talking about our little bets and who didn’t see you shuffle around your whole living space just to keep me near you. You know as well as I do that there are more than enough places that you could have shipped me off to, but you didn’t.”

“That’s because no one knew whether the ability would have adverse effects on your control, so of course it was safer to keep you supervised, Chuuya.”

Dazai was trying - really, really, trying - to extricate himself out of whatever this situation was starting to devolve into. But Chuuya wasn’t rising to his bait, wasn’t even huffing or stomping off, and all of that made Dazai decidedly less certain what he was dealing with now.

Not that he got another chance to try and get back into familiar waters when Chuuya just grinned at him, and then turned to strut out of the door.

Dazai let his head fall back to stare at the ceiling once more. He needed to get a grip. And then he needed to figure out exactly what had happened in the last two days and what had changed.

This was important. But for now he would make his way home and bury himself in his futon. It was too early to deal with such a weird day.

57 notes · View notes

leonawriter · 5 years

Text

Stray Dogs and Tiger Cubs (pt.17)

Also on AO3

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Characters: Dazai, Atsushi, Yosano, Kunikida, Chuuya, Akutagawa.

...

"O-o-ow-!"

"Oh, grow up, Dazai. Maybe if you hadn't gotten yourself into that situation in the first place, you wouldn't be in this one now. Atsushi's a better patient than you are!"

"Atsushi-chan can heal because of the tig-ow! - so that doesn't count. And you know I hate pain."

Atsushi himself, completely unharmed despite everything that had happened just earlier, looked over at Yosano with wide eyes.

"Is... is Da-san going to be okay?"

Dazai put on his most morose expression.

"I'm going to die," he said, putting his free arm not currently being manhandled by Yosano, over his eyes. "A long, slow, and painful death. It's awful."

"Don't be ridiculous, Dazai. Atsushi-chan, stop making that face, he's not dying, even if he wishes he was."

He lifted his arm away to find that yes, Atsushi was doing a very good job of making him feel guilty as hell by looking that concerned.

"I'm just joking, Atsushi-chan~"

"You did get pretty beat up, though. Otherwise I wouldn't still be picking out bits of what can only be described as debris out of your hands. What were you doing, fighting a wall or something?"

"Or something," he said in a tone that was meant to be far more carefree than it came out, what with Yosano dabbing at yet another sore patch and making him wince.

"Da-san did say that Aku-san had been mean to him too," Atsushi said, making Dazai have to fight not to laugh.

Aku-san? So, Akutagawa has become Mr. Bad Guy now? Well... it isn't as though he hasn't earned it.

...

"I see you brought the girl back with you," Kunikida says stiffly.

It wasn't as though he wasn't concerned by everything that was going on; just the sight of Dazai's face had been enough to shock him speechless for a good moment when the small group had returned to the Agency. Dazai was the one out of all of them that was the hardest to kill, to the point where most of them had stopped being concerned at his disappearances a long time ago, expecting that he'd turn up sooner or later, or someone would eventually drag him back to them like a lost dog.

Seeing evidence of the fact that he wasn't somehow invulnerable and that those damn bandages of his probably hid worse, was more than a little unsettling, and he was still attempting to find his balance from the reminder.

"Of course," Dazai said, sounding nowhere near as concerned by any of this than he had any right to be. "She asked so politely not to have to go back to the mafia, so she's staying here for the time being, watching over Atsushi-chan."

He noticed the shift in honorific, and wondered if that meant anything, but made a mental note to ask Dazai about that later, since there were far more pressing problems right now.

"Yes, but - this is the mafia. Not some small gang that Kenji can encourage to just let the matter drop! And aside from that, she's a wanted murderer. The police are going to be after her!"

For a moment, Dazai doesn't respond, just staring over in the direction of where Atsushi is talking to Kenji, who then puts his hat on the small boy's head, which completely covers his eyes until his pushes it up so that he can see, a clear smile on his face as he looks over in their direction. In Dazai's direction.

Dazai smiles, and for the first time, Kunikida finds himself wondering if perhaps Dazai looking after Atsushi might not be the worst thing in the world, for either of them.

"I know that," his partner says at last, voice soft and low and reminding him of when they'd first met, with all of his secrets and no reason to be trusted yet. Reminding him that a lot of the things that he had distrusted Dazai for back then still haven't been answered, even if he's been able to trust the other man with his life for going on two years now. "We don't need to worry about the mafia for the moment, though," Dazai continues brightly, and the sense of something being swept under the rug and hidden away again makes Kunikida grind his teeth. "And I already have an idea for what we can do with her, too."

"Don't need to- do I even want to know what you mean by that?" He pinches the bridge of his nose. "And that'd better be a good idea, because for the life of me, I can't think of anything."

It wasn't for lack of trying, either, but-

"The mafia are busy right now, because someone made a very bad mistake in thinking that they could make them into fools," Dazai point out, and Kunikida shuddered. "Ah, well, because of all of that, and me being Atsushi-chan's guardian, it means that we'll be having to talk with them on even terms to figure out what happens next, which definitely won't be any fun. With any luck they'll just let it drop and go after the one who set up the bounty, but..." Dazai sighed, and trailed off.

"But?"

"Kyouka-chan's the more complicated situation." And there was the serious expression, back again. "And my idea can only work if it's what she truly wants."

"And that is?"

Dazai just smiled enigmatically, damn him, and didn't answer.

...

"Akutagawa. Oi, Akutagawa, listen to me." Chuuya sighed. He'd had to listen to silence interspersed with coughing all the way back to headquarters, and then he'd had to force the damn coat of the overgrown bratty teenager just to get him to be treated. Mori had left him in his care for the time being, to boot. "Look, do you even have any idea why everyone's mad at you."

"...I went against orders."

It was the same stiff and unyielding tone Akutagawa had used against Mori earlier, and it didn't give him any feeling of hope that anything had actually sunk in.

"You do that all the time," he says, waving that idea out the window. "Hell, I went against orders by letting a traitor loose, but in the end, it was the right decision. So what's the difference? And that was a question. I'm expecting an answer."

"Chuuya-san is an executive," came the response, in the same tone as before, making Chuuya put his hand to his head. If he hadn't been getting a headache before, he definitely was now.

"Well, yeah, that helps, but mostly it was because I got good information out of it. Boss likes it best when he's got all the information, not just bits and pieces of it."

Which was similar to Dazai, come to think of it, though he wasn't sure if that was something the Boss had taught Dazai, or if it'd just naturally always been something the mackerel'd had in his head.

"I..." for a moment, he almost thought he'd imagined that, it was so quiet, even and especially with the fit of coughing. "I just... wanted to be stronger. Strong enough... he..."

Chuuya sighed. Leaned back on his chair, and stared at the ceiling, wondering just how many times his (ex) partner had told him how much he hated people who only threw around their strength without using their heads.

"You don't... really get Dazai, do you Akutagawa," he said, glancing back down.

Akutagawa blinked, and it took Chuuya a moment to realise that the expression he was now wearing was one of confusion.

"Get... Dazai-san? That's... it's pointless to even try. Anyone who attempts to understand him falls into a cognitive prison, a dead end with no way out."

"So that's what you think, huh." Dazai really did a number on this kid, whatever it was he did. I dunno if the worst thing is that Dazai doesn't even seem to realise what it is he's done. It's a damn good job he looks like he's treating that weretiger kid better, or... eh, I dunno. "That's your first mistake, then."

He expected some sort of response, a rebuttal, maybe, but all he got was Akutagawa's head turning away in an immature way of saying he didn't want to talk about it, or that's what it seemed like.

The most baffling thing was, Chuuya had worked with Akutagawa before this, and he'd never been this bad. The fact that he knew exactly what was causing it all only made it more frustrating.

"You start thinking of Dazai as some great mystery you're never gonna be able to solve, and it's a self-fulfilling prophecy you've got there. Sure, trying to get inside his head's like trying to stick your hand in a bag full of cats, and trying to figure out his plans is sometimes like trying to get 'em all in a line, but... motivation in general? Like, why he'd be pissed off right now? That's not too hard. He's as human as anyone, you and me included."

He was aware there was a certain amount of irony about that particular phrase and including himself in it, but... it fitted. All too well. But he wasn't about to explain personal things like that, not to Akutagawa, and not here and now.

"After all," added, carefully watching Akutagawa's reaction, "from what I heard, that kid's ability's less like how your Rashomon practically has a mind of its own, or that girl's Demon Snow, or ane-san's Golden Demon, either. Even just from what I saw, it's more like..." Like a softer, fluffier, version of Corruption that's less lethal to the user, came the unwelcome but unfortunately accurate thought. Right down to the fact that they both seemed to need Dazai to stop them once they'd started. "It's still the kid, it's just the shape that's changed."

He stands, hands in pockets and hat shading his eyes as he turns to leave the briefing room he'd appropriated for their 'discussion' a while back.

"But-" the one word paused him at the doorway, full of so much desperate emotion it'd be impossible to pick it all apart. "Dazai-san... Dazai-san never... never once treated me like that! What - what has one kid got, that I- I couldn't-!"

"Yeah? Welcome to the club, then. Personally, I'd say it's because he's an ass who finds it easier to piss people off than stay to deal with the fallout, but... that's just me."

In the end, it sucked, but that was the way things were. Besides, he didn't have time to play therapist when it felt like there were a million other things he needed to be doing right now along with making sure Dazai's mistakes didn't blow up in everyone's faces.

#bsd #bsd stuff #bungo stray dogs #Leona fic #dadzai au

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good7luck · 5 years

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Bungou Stray Dogs movie Dead Apple guidebook

(more under the cut)

* Excuse my personal opinions

I’m still surprised this guidebook was published so early - only around 1 month after the first theater release, when the movie was still screening... Maybe due to this - I’m personally not so happy that I feel they tried to fill the contents mainly with a lot of mere screenshots too hard (aka too many frames), even compared to previous guidebooks for S1 & S2. I still personally wish they made this book one or a few months later AND filled the pages with more of other contents, like related merchandise and bonus illustrations (for theaters or BD/DVD) etc.

btw the above pages are NOT an example of too many screenshots I personally have a problem with, sorry for the possible confusion ^^;

No offence to Chuuya fans, but I’m pretty sure the one shown on the broken glasses is not Chuuya but Dazai. This illustration was from Newtype magazine, and I’m glad they decided to include this here :3 I’m happy they put Dazai, Oda, and Chuuya illustration (also from Newtype magazine) as well X)

There were a few full pages that solely focused on Chuuya & Ango and Chuuya & Dazai, which might not have bothered me...if only they decided to give Atsushi & Shibusawa some pages similarly :/ To be fair, there were a few pages for Atsushi & Kyouka & Akutagawa (and Dazai & Shibusawa & Fyodor, too), but seriously... Atsushi & Shibusawa, who were supposed to be the main protagonist and the main villain, got less than half a page :/

Chuuya & Dazai pages did have the suggestive fan-service screenshots (even in a pretty big size lmao). I personally feel so disappointed and disgusted that these dirty scenes not only had to exist in the first place - but also are casually, perpetually used in BSD official promotions (magazines, merch, etc) and endlessly cheered and uploaded by so many people. It’s sad I’ll probably need to keep seeing it and deal with it for years (unless I give up on BSD completely and leave the fandom permanently). Not to mention similar or worse “official” “canon” stuff could be made next time to please some perverted part of the fandom again. At this point, I’m glad I haven’t really shipped Dazai x Chuuya at least, or I would’ve felt even more insulted worse. Believe it or not, I sincerely didn’t want to come to feel like this about Chuuya and DaChuu (and Dead Apple and BSD in general) for real, how sad. It isn’t fun or pleasant at all to get to feel betrayal and repulsion. I genuinely wish something like this wouldn’t ever happen again in BSD...*sighs*

I’m still not over this Dazai illustration and the early idea for him by Asagiri-sensei XDDD I’m pretty sure Asagiri-sensei has practiced a lot to draw Dazai XDD and Dazai here does look quite nice XD I’m also very curious just how on earth Dazai was supposed to come back to the normal ADA life after becoming the king of Yokohama XDDD No offence, all of this is so fun and funny XD

There was some mention here that they set Atsushi as a weak and normal/ordinary person, and while I get their intention...I still can’t help but think Atsushi in the movie was so terribly depicted. His whole character developments from the early entrance to the S2 (and even 55Minutes, cuz apparently Dead Apple was supposed to happen after 55Minutes, ugh) - all of this was almost ignored and forgotten, as if Atsushi alone was thrown back to the early entrance time in the past (or worse). movie!Atsushi was not supposed to have to repeat similar character developments, as if he alone could barely grow up or learn anything from the whole S2 etc :/ while other characters were shown sooo cool and mature overall, even compared to their canon characters :/ Like, seriously...they could’ve made other characters shine without making Atsushi overly scared and immature, not at the cost of Atsushi’s previous character developments he had worked and fought for so hard - it’s just super unnecessary and maybe even rude.

I’m happy to see 35-sensei’s artworks here, like character designs and a full illustration of Dazai, Shibusawa, and Fyodor ;w; Agatha looked gorgeous XD In Rakugaki Note, 35-sensei’s BSD artbook, 35-sensei commented on 4-years-ago-Chuuya (and Dazai) merch that past!Chuuya looked too same as his current appearance XD and so 35-sensei wished to have a chance to re-design his past appearance someday. I’m glad they finally got the chance :3

Despite all the negative feelings I personally have with the guidebook and the movie, I still believe this guidebook is worth to have as a BSD fan :D

-END!-

#bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #dead apple #bungou stray dogs dead apple #bsd movie #bungou stray dogs: dead apple #bsd dead apple #bungou stray dogs movie #not tagging anyone #i good7luck bought these #good7luck

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avoresmith · 6 years

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au where anyone other than atsushi is the main character, go

Kyouka

Kyouka is the most obvious option here, as her character arc literally follows Atsushi’s beat by beat and does it better because she gets to be seen having actual flaws and conflict while Atsushi’s point in life is just to Be Very Good.

She’s an orphan who was beat down badly by the universe and needs to make peace with her Gift and how it’s uncontrolled presence in her life has played a huge part in all of the painful garbage she’s had to deal with. She has to learn to not just value her own life (Atsushi) but learn to believe she is capable of using the same abilities she used to kill to help people and that there is value to that (Dazai). She has a connection to Akutagawa, a better one than Atsushi, who just thinks that guy is a dangerous asshole, as Akutagawa fucked her up by trying to 'help’ her the same way Dazai 'helped’ him (which echoes the fact that Dazai fucked up Akutagawa by trying to teach Akutagawa the way he was taught by Mori). This creates a way more dynamic and interesting victims vs their abusers and cycle of violence story that they were TRYING to do with Atsushi and his abuser that falls completely flat, on account of how that guy wasn’t actually a character and we are just told we’re supposed to sympathize with him because ‘life is complicated’ instead of actually shown the ways in which life is fucking complicated.

This would also allow for a narrative of victims vs their abusers where ACTUALLY HAVE, A VICTIM, CHALLENGING THEIR ABUSER AND DEMANDING THEY DO BETTER instead of what we currently have which is 1) Dazai flees Mori and hates him (legit) 2) Akutagawa seeks Dazai’s acknowledgement forever (no?? buddy) 3) Atsushi cries when his abuser died trying to maybe be nice to him for once finally =‘( (ohmygod).

Also, while Dazai and Atsushi mean... something?? to each other, it’s practically only relevant in Atsushi’s arc as something to yell at Akutagawa about, and while we can Assume Dazai Has Feelings we basically never see Dazai impacted by Atsushi. However, if it was Dazai who stops Kyouka from killing herself and takes her out of the mafia we have Dazai directly engaging with his perspective on suicide, and saving someone from the mafia in a way he was never saved, and this leads into him Also Engaging With All Of That, which then could be a continuing theme within their relationship.

(And I didn’t Go In This Direction because my central argument is that Kyouka already does everything Atsushi is doing if better and if given more focus could dramatically improve the manga, but also her relationship with Kouyou could also be given more prominence, and then holy shit, we’d have two important ladies instead of just one!)

In this AU Atsushi honestly doesn’t even need to exist. Kyouka could make friends with Kenji instead, and they could have adorable hyjinks where Kenji teaches her how to be polite to people and then they both get way too extra if politeness fails.

(MORE UNDER THE CUT)

Akutagawa

This would probably have to be a darker manga, or Akutagawa would have to be less garbage, but as one of the only characters with multiple interesting relationships he is kind of a natural point to focus around. He has Gin, Higuchi, Kyouka, (thREE WOMEN) and Dazai as far as relationships that already important, and Chuuya and Mori and Kouyou are all characters that could be explored more if the manga was more mafia focused. While the mafia aren’t actually villains anyway, this change would make them more sympathetic, but Akutagawa would still be a really interesting MC, and this would fix the fact that Atsushi is only interesting around Akutagawa.

Unlike Atsushi, Akutagawa has clear wants, motivations, and character progression, so Atsushi makes a lot more sense as Akutagawa’s rival character than the reverse. Boy with garbage life collides into the boy his master replaced him with, only to constantly seethe with anger that this asshole was so fucking lucky. Eventually discovers that his rival’s life actually wasn’t that easy but still can’t comprehend why his rival doesn’t appreciate what he has enough, or why this prick is worth more to his master than he was. Cue a compelling dynamic of Akutagawa improving himself relentlessly while not fully understanding what path he is on, but desperate to get out of the trashfire of his life. He thinks this means earning Dazai’s approval but in fact it means learning he doesn’t need to be a terrible human being to survive.

This would make Dazai far LESS sympathetic, but Dazai sucks so that is only fair.

Dazai

Okay, I won’t lie, Dazai would a SUPER CHALLENGING perspective character for a manga. What makes Dazai’s writing so amazing is how deftly he handles the unreliable narrator, which is hard to do when we don’t actually see the world via the MC’s perspective. And while I am happy to rag on BSD all the live long day, I do think one if it’s strengths is that it picked up on what an interesting character Dazai-types would be viewed exclusively from the outside, and has managed to portray that sort of peculiar contradiction of personality traits quite well.

HOWEVER, despite being the most popular character, we never really get to see Dazai having a character arc. We know he has improved, we know he has wants and is actually probably working very hard to get his life in order, but we only know any of that from the end of the light novel to the start of the manga. We don’t actually get to see Dazai having conflict, confronting his fears, making hard choices, and growing as a person.

However, while we never really see it in the manga, given what we know about Dazai’s history, we can probably assume that the choices Dazai makes to help Atsushi is something that actually impacts Dazai quite a bit. The last time he put himself in this position the result was Akutagawa; a challenge which Dazai completely failed on many levels, even if the result was technically a very loyal and capable mafioso and thus something Mori would have slated as a win. Dazai engaging with what it means to teach a human without himself knowing how to be a good human, and probably in the process also learning about ‘goodness’ via someone like Atsushi who is naturally inclined toward the heroic, would actually give Atsushi an interesting place the narrative.

This would make Dazai waaaaaay more sympathetic, as we would also presumably see him struggling to adapt to ADA life, see his masks slip more often, and more signs of the fact that for real these last two years of being around decent human beings from 9 to 5 is probably the first time in his life he’s dealt with such people. We’d also get to see that he’s probably still depressed, drunk, and suicidal, but may be able to chart the ways he gradually becomes less so and what prompts those improvements.

Kenji

Kenji is also a nice boy who wants to talk it out but then will beat the shit out of you if that attempt fails. What if instead of being a 2D one time gag character he actually had a motivation and a character arc to engage with? He could more or less follow the same story beats Atsushi sets up, just done better and with less redundancy. Kenji would make an interesting foil for Akutagawa since by all appearances his life wasn’t garbage, and his ceaseless tone deaf optimism in the face of Akutagawa’s ceaseless tone deaf fury would be, if nothing else, pretty fucking entertaining.

Kunikida

wOW ANOTHER HEROIC CHARACTER WHO USES VIOLENCE TO RESOLVE CONFLICT. IT’S LIKE THERE ARE A BUNCH OF THESE. What if Kunikida being Dazai’s partner was at all narratively relevant and they had a dynamic that went deeper than Dazai aggravating Kunikida for the lulz and Kunikida being willing to trust Dazai when the chips are down.

Since Kunikida is slated to be the next leader of the ADA he makes a potentially compelling choice as a protagonist, as it would be an easy way to involve all of the (MANY) under appreciated ADA characters, by having their future boss learn what it means to actually work with and appreciate the backgrounds of his various future underlings. It wouldn’t need to be slated specifically as ‘Kunikida Is The Heir’ but given that it’s a shounen manga it could be effortlessly set up that way, and unlike Atsushi, Kunikida has a LOT of obvious flaws. He is naive, inflexible, emotionally vulnerable, distrustful, impatient, judgmental, and gullible. He also has CLEAR WANTS (Idealism) seeing him struggling for something fundementally unattainable and the ways he learns to update his ideal of idealism, in part by overcoming his individual flaws and in part by realizing that while idealism might be worth seeking it cannot be achieved. He would have a lot to learn from every member of the team, and in doing so could give them more importance to the story.

Yosano

you waNNA KNOW WHO IS GREAT AND DEEPLY UNDER APPRECIATED?? YOSANO. IT’S YOSANO. AU where actually Yosano is the main character. If you need a more compelling argument than that IDK what to say to you.

Tanizaki

What if Tankizaki had a narrative purpose other than gag and deus ex ability.

Mishima

AU where Mishima Yukio is in the manga, he’s an ex-government worker who was fired for being a bit too radical but he deeply respects and is super gay for Fukuzawa’s aesthetic and agrees to join the ADA. Rather than being Dazai’s protege he fancies himself Dazai’s rival and is intent to expose what garbage he is but the joke is on him because everyone knows that including Dazai.

None the less, Mishima also is a more callous and aloof person who wears a friendly mask and via picking at Dazai he picks at himself. The more fixated he gets on exposing Dazai, the more he has to confront the fact that the world is more complicated than he wants it to be and it frightens him to examine the degree to which he doesn’t feel he actually belongs among society and thus tries very hard to construct a place for himself in it with his radical behavior and exacting standards, whereas Dazai accepts that he just should go in the trash.

Dazai, in response, really doesn’t like being picked at effectively. Everyone else within the ADA accepts the masks he wears without question, never actually confronting his suicidal ideation or talking to him about where he comes from, even once they know about it. Mishima, in his relentless pursuit of being able to classify and deconstruct Dazai to overcome him, does just this, and frankly it sucks a lot for Dazai because Mishima would be the first person to A) learn the grueling details of his past and B) understand how fucked up that is for someone like Dazai who is only hiding his sensitivity and C) still look him in the eye and tell him to get his shit together. Mishima becomes the first person since Odasaku who actually understands Dazai but this time it is the worst because Mishima is mean.

Dazai counters by ruining Mishima’s life in the most extraordinarily petty ways as frequently as possible.

Atsushi

ALTERNATIVELY. Atsushi actually is a good protagonist.

HERE IS AN EXERCISE, WHAT DO EACH OF THESE SHOUNEN HEROES WANT AND HOW DO WE KNOW?

Edward Elric: wants the philosopher’s stone, will do basically anything for it, we find this out in chapter 1.

Gon Freaks: Wants to find his dad, chapter 1

Luffy: Wants to find his dad, chapter 1

Allen Walker: wants to save everyone from akuma because dad feels, chapter, idk, like 3

Naruto: Wants the acknowledgement of his village, works tirelessly for it. We find this out in like chapter 1. (yeah I know naruto is bad don’t @ me but look the MC had a clear motivation)

(AV have you read any shounen manga since 2001-- nO)

Atsushi: Wants... uh. To not starve??? This need is met in chapter 1. Wants to... be.. a good employee...? Wants to beat Akutagawa because... he’s bad....??? Wants to... make Dazai proud...?

It’s not impossible to write a story with a MC who isn’t clearly motivated, but it’s a fuckload harder to make it compelling and you prrrroobably need to have some other kind of clear focus to replace the fact that your MC does not. IE if you are specially exploring the story of an unmotivated hero, you frame his actions around the fact that he is really just doing things by route and how this separates him from the people around him who actually have priorities in their life.

Or, if you want to be like ‘Atsushi’s motivation is that he cares and wants to help!’ LOOK: If they are sO HEROIC that they just nEED TO BE THE HERO ALL THE TIME (Allen Walker) either because they lack self worth (Allen Walker) or are so empathetic that they can’t help but try to save everyone (Allen Walker), you narratively frame the story around them so that it highlights this as both a strength and a weakness of their character. The inability to save everyone vs feeling like your life only has value if you can save everyone is deeply fucked up and should haunt your MC.

The manga starts to slightly course correct Atsushi after waaay too many chapters, which is why he starts having an actually interesting dynamic with Akutagawa. But now he wants to ‘overcome his abuser’, and though this itself is extremely unclear as to what it means. I suspect it means ‘continue to do the exact same shit he’s being doing until he believes in himself’ whichhhhh is boring. It could work if the framing is consistent and Atsushi begins to have actual conflict with his own behavior and the way he treats his life as disposable and his suffering as unimportant.

He could also use some flaws, which, again, we only see signs off later in the game with his Akutagawa relationship. Atsushi can be forgiven for not realizing that Dazai was horrible to Akutagawa, since neither Dazai nor Akutagawa will ever explain that, but he is still pretty shitty to Akutagawa deliberately! And it’s nice seeing him be a little prick.

If everything that is happening now with Atsushi had happened from the beginning, you know how you are supposed to start a shounen manga with the protagonist actually doing anything interesting or important, the manga would be much less bad. If Atsushi had more than like 1.5 flaws and a .75 motivation now, the manga would also be a lot better.

I don’t actually like this idea as much as all of my other ones, but if he MUST be the MC, what if he was actually good at it at all.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #op me #media musings #manga #what if this thing i loved was good #nothing aggrieves like missed potential #i didn't think about most of these #before i started ranting #but actually i like a lot of these ideas #plz put mishima in manga #kyouka not bieng the mc is the biggest betrayal #but i'd read the kunikida manga #and the kenji #maybe not the tanizaki

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pitch-black-hearts · 7 years

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Autistic Chuuya HC

Okay, okay, I was going to put this off while I wrote something but I cannot. Slay me @fy-soukoku

(And yes, I, writing this, have autism.)

So basically, I like to hc that Chuuya has at least some mild form of autism, and so I want to share my specific headcanons with you poor tumblr users. Under a cut to not be obnoxious lol.

Sensory Chuuya wears lots of layers, ones he can add on or take off as needed, all made of different fabrics but all of them look relatively soft. He doesn’t button the top of his shirt, but he wears a choker which has some semblance of pressure around his neck, which can be comforting. (Same with his harness things. Pressure is comforting, but restrictive clothing causes anxiety.) He also wears a hat, like literally all the time. Maybe he likes the feeling of it on his head, maybe he wears it because he’s sensitive to bright lights; maybe they’re a special interest. His hair is another point, the way it’s cut. He likes to twirl around and fidget with the long part, but having all of it long felt too heavy; he doesn’t care if people think it looks weird. This man wears seamless socks okay.

Gloves Okay, these get their own bullet point. Chuuya wears gloves, black fingered gloves. They’re not or fashion, they barely work with his outfits. They aren’t because he’s afraid of leaving fingerprints, he’s in the fucking mafia it doesn’t matter. No, Chuuya wears gloves so that he doesn’t have to come in contact with uncomfortable textures and liquids, so he doesn’t have to worry about touching germs, so that he has something to fidget with that isn’t super obvious. He wears gloves because he likes the smooth feeling of leather on his fingertips, the drip of crimson from pitch black fabric after a job, the feeling of peeling them off at the end of the day.

Weight This man’s favourite stim is pressure, or the lack thereof. Floating around, weightlessly. Walking on ceilings and walls and feeling his weight shift with each change in surface. Making his clothes and blankets weight heavier on top of him when he needs that extra pressure. Playing with the gravity against him and how he can make it easier or harder to lift his arms or walk around. His ability is perfect for stimming okay.

Wine Tell me this man doesn’t have a special interest for wines. He loves them, the different tastes that can be achieved from grapes, the history behind different ones. He had a huge collection even as a lightweight, and he loves listening to music and sipping at different ones every day when he gets home. He has lists of wines he owns, has owned, wants to own or try. He’ll kill a man to get at his wine cellar. He uses wine glasses in public for appearance, but at home he just uses a plastic cup so he doesn’t have to worry about dropping it or squeezing too hard.

French Chuuya likes French, it’s a beautiful language. It runs easily across his tongue, soft and fragile and with less syllables than Japanese. It’s his first language, and he still thinks in it even after years of speaking and reading and writing another language. He loves the soft tones of Kouyou’s voice when she talks in it, the slow melody or quick talking of French music, he just loves French okay. He thinks it’s easier to speak than Japanese. French Culture is probably a special interest.

Empathy Chuuya struggles with empathy, especially after growing up in the mafia, where empathy isn’t the best thing to have. He doesn’t fully understand why Dazai wants to escape, or what to do when Kouyou is sad, or really anything about dealing with Akutagawa’s feelings. He’s learned some, but he doesn’t really get it sometimes.

Trust Chuuya arguably trusts too easily, especially when in the mafia you aren’t supposed to trust anybody. He trusts Kouyou, but that’s because she raised him. He trusts Dazai, even though the asshole abandoned him. He trusts Tachihara who has done LITERALLY NOTHING to earn this trust. He trusts Gin despite the fact that she kills people on a regular basis. He sort of trusts Akutagawa. It’s a mess.

Social Cues Kouyou put a lot of time in teaching a younger Chuuya social cues, he relies on them in his life even when he struggles to pick them out himself. What to say when and why, when to give a smile or drop a hint. How to be manipulative because he’s learned to say what people want to hear. Mori terrifies him in his own way because Chuuya can’t find emotional cues with him.

Stimming This man fidgets, I dare you to tell me otherwise. He taps his feel, or his fingers against his hip. He messes with his hair or his hat, he tugs at his gloves or takes his jacket on and off. He probably has a stim toy or six at home that only Kouyou and maybe Dazai know about. (Because the asshole likes to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong.)

There’s more, but I’m probably already rambling and these were the ones I found most important to list.

#nakahara chuuya #autism #autistic headcanon #gdi cypress #feel free to contradict me

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bungou-stray-haikyuu · 7 years

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Upcoming Fanfics

So, I’ve had quite a few ideas in my drafts for a while now and I thought I may as well show them all to you so you guys can decide on which one you want me to write next alongside my Soukoku, but not really oneshot collection (or if you’d rather I just focus on that).

So, my ideas are:

[Doesn’t have a title yet] - I have a super angsty fanfic all about Dazai going mad, torturing Chuuya, and the consequences of that (I’m sorry Chuuya you know I love you)

Shadows Searching in the Night - Ok this was inspired by the song Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey and I’m not actually sure if this is going to be a oneshot or if it’ll be a few chapters...I’m thinking more oneshot, in which case it’ll go into my Soukoku, but not really collection but I’ll tell you all that if I actually make a decision. For info about the fic itself...obviously, listen to the song but basically, it sort of revolves around the first lines about the boy and girl getting on midnight trains and all that and about not stopping believing but I don’t want to give too much plot away so I won’t say any more.

Kiss it All Better - Another song inspired fic ( Kiss it All better by He is We) and yes, I did think of both of these in the same day. Again, listen to the song to get a vague idea BUT I have a slight problem with this fic...Chuuya x Reader...or Chuuya x Dazai...please keep in mind the Chuuya x Reader will most likely be more romantic (only because I don’t ship Soukoku romantically I’m sorry) unless I have a very high demand for romantic Soukoku but either way, it’ll be angsty so enjoy!

Blood - This is the fanfic based on that theory I thought of a while ago about Dazai’s blood still containing his ability and so his blood could be put into pellets and fired at people to have their abilities nullifies and the like. It’ll have angst and will be a pretty serious fic, I think, so don’t expect it to be that lighthearted.

[Doesn’t have a title yet] - Ok so this one is actually based off a roleplay and basically...vampire Chuuya which, I absolutely love, so it’s going to be angsty but I don’t know the plot yet but it’ll probably revolve around Chuuya turning into a vampire and having to deal with that so potentially quite a long fic?

[Doesn’t have a title yet] - So, this untitled fic will probably be a oneshot maybe two chapters (?) about Chuuya and his hair - basically addressing the question of ‘what if Chuuya doesn’t actually want long hair and he’s been forced to grow it for all these years?’ Although I only actually thought of the comparison around halfway through writing the idea down, it’s a little bit like Nagisa from Assassination Classroom and the whole ‘thing’ with his hair. It might be a oneshot but since it revolves around Chuuya rather than Soukoku, it would just be a standalone fic.

[Doesn’t have a title yet] - This is the fic based on the theory that Dazai’s bandages hide the injuries he gets from using his ability - see my previous post where I technically ‘announced’ it. Again, no idea for the plot but it’ll be quite angsty given the topic and Chuuya will probably get involved because Chuuya always gets involved in my fics.

I think that’s about it, I have more drafts but they’re all oneshot ideas I’ll be sticking in Soukoku, but not really so I didn’t put them here - they’ll be surprises.

Anyway, if any of them take your fancy or if you want to know more, give me a shout and I’ll be glad to help. If there’s a high demand for one of the fics, I’ll ‘bump it up’ so I write it before the rest, otherwise, I’ll write them in this order which is the order I thought of them in.

Oh, another note - as you can see, a lot of my fics are angsty but I’m hoping the funny/lighthearted/jokey fics will come in the oneshots I’ll be doing for Soukoku, but not really. As always, please do feel free to request a fic and I’ll always prioritise requests over my other fanfics so the client (sounds kinda formal but technically you are so...) doesn’t have to wait too long for their fic.

That’s about it so I look forward to hearing which fics you’re interested in (if any) and I’ll make a decision based on both Tumblr comments and Instagram comments. (Considering I’m not a very big account, it’ll most likely be a couple of comments and I’ll just push them to the top so I’m doubting this order will change very much unless I somehow get a hoard of comments.)

Finally, have a good day/night and I’ll post the ‘results’ in a few days.

#lookin' for advice #from me to you aka useless updates

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bungou-stray-dogs-indulgences · 7 years

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how would fukuzawa, yosano, dazai, atsushi, chuuya, akutagawa, and koyou react if they are suddenly 'attacked' by their s/o, who jumps at them and starts peppering them with kisses?

Fukuzawa Yukichi

Never in a million years can you sneak up on Fukuzawa, no matter how hard you try. From the moment he comes within fifteen feet of you, he’ll notice you tucked away in your hiding spot, waiting for him. He’s puzzled, and doesn’t quite know if he should call you out or not, so he simply stares at you quizzically until you decide to strike.

When you spring at him, Fukuzawa’s even more confused. A single eyebrow rises as you mount your attack, and he watches you, unsure if he should even as what you’re up to. When you reach him, though, and begin assaulting him with kisses he immediately catches on to your purpose. A satisfied smile stretches across his face as you speckle his skin, lips trailing every inch of his face. After a few moments he lets out a laugh.

Without warning, Fukuzawa suddenly flips the tables and sweeps you up into his arms, squishing you in a gigantic, tight hug. He chuckles as you squirm in his grip, but holds firm. Fukuzawa plants a few kisses of his own across your cheeks before setting you down, satisfied. He would never say something so dreadfully cliche out loud, but he’s thankful that he managed to find someone as energetic as you. You spirit helps him feel as though he doesn’t have quite so many years hanging heavy on his shoulders (he may not be all that old yet, but some days, he definitely feels like it).

After you’re safely on the ground again, Fukuzawa captures your chin between his thumb and forefinger and tugs you into a deep kiss. Slowly, he massages your lips with his own, pulling you into pure bliss with his teeth and tongue. Where kissing’s involved, Fukuzawa’s hard to beat, and it’s going to take a lot more than a simple surprise attack to one-up him.

Yosano Akiko

If there’s anyone that gets wrapped up in their work, it’s Yosano Akiko. Sneaking up on her is no big task, especially if she’s engrossed in paperwork, or perhaps a novel she’s been reading lately. All you need to do is lie in wait until she’s focused on something, and you’re practically guaranteed a successful surprise attack.

After you’ve pounced on her, Yosano simply laughs, setting aside whatever was occupying her to fully concentrate on you. Once you’ve pulled her away from something, there’s no escaping her notice; she’s 100%, completely focused on you now. You can’t slip away from Yosano even if you want to.

Yosano wraps her arms around you, looping them underneath yours so that your hands still have free range as she holds you. She plants one chaste peck on your lips before pulling back in a silent command to proceed. Yosano remains in your grips, basking in the affection you’re showering her with. No kisses will ever be enough to satiate her voracious appetite for your love, but as long as your lips keep ghosting across her skin, she’s temporarily satisfied. Giggles bubble out of her chest as she threads her hands through your hair, tugging you closer to her skin if she thinks you’re not keeping a fast enough fast.

When you’re through, pulling back in an attempt to halt the kiss attack, Yosano immediate grabs for you, tugging your face to be about a breath from hers. “I didn’t say you could stop,” she points out, voice somewhere between a purr and a whine. Be prepared to be showering Yosano with kissses for hours, if you ambush her; she won’t let you go free until she’s satisfied, and that may take a long time.

Dazai Osamu

If you think you can surprise Dazai, you’ve got another thing coming. From the moment the idea entered your head to attack the man, he’s had an inkling that a plot’s spinning around in your head. While Dazai’s curiosity prods him to confront you, he also wants the surprise to be genuine. Thus, even though he expects some kind of trick from you, Dazai still lets your sneaking around carry on uninterrupted.

Dazai’s nothing if not an actor; even though he knew something was up, he acts completely surprised when you pounce on him. Flailing wildly, Dazai yelps, pretending like he’s stuck in a life-or-death battle. “Kunikida, Atsushi, someone!” He cries out, grin spread wide across his face as he lets you blanket his skin in kisses. “Help me! I’ve been trapped by a wily vixen!” Dazai falls to the ground, laughter bubbling out as you sprinkle kisses all over his cheeks.

“I won’t go down without a fight!” Dazai proclaims. Suddenly, his fingers dive into your sides, tickling furiously. It’s not the first time he’s used such dirty tactics, and it probably won’t be the last! Dazai tickles you mercilessly until you’re both rolling on the floor, tears leaking out from all the laughter.

Whether you win this battle or not all depends on if you keep kissing Dazai. If you dodge his wiggling fingers enough to keep peppering his face, or if you start tickling him back, he’ll cave within five minutes. “I’ve been vanquished…” Dazai laments, sitting up to plant a kiss of his own on your nose. “I’m truly no match for you, my darling __________.”

Nakajima Atsushi

If Atsushi’s wrapped in what he’s doing, slipping into your hiding place and springing out on him is nearly effortless. He’s completely oblivious to your presence until your arms suddenly twist around him, mischief in your eyes and a grin spread across your face. He’s nearly thrown off balance and almost topples to the ground, but Atsushi doesn’t care. He’s already smiling (albeit a bit nervously) before you even plant your lips on him.

The moment you start spreading kisses here-there-and-everywhere all over Atsushi’s face, a crayon-pink blush explodes across his cheeks under your lips. He explodes into a fit of adorable giggles, throwing his arms out before wrapping them around you in a tight hug. Atsushi squirms under the volley of smooches; he’s ridiculously ticklish, and the fact that you’re simply not letting up isn’t helping anything!

As long as nobody else is watching you, Atsushi inevitably catches your kissing bug and soon returns a few pecks of his own. His arms playfully tighten around you so that you’re trapped, and then he starts lightly peppering kisses along your cheekbones in between the little smooches from you. Soon a competition’s raging between you; who can kiss the other the most without being interrupted by a kiss?

If anyone else is around, Atsushi soon grows too embarrassed by your little shower of affection and buries his face in your neck, laughing. He giggles out a breathless “Stop! Truce, truce, I submit!”. Honestly, though, Atsushi doesn’t really want you to knock it off. He’s perfectly content if you ignore his pleas, and go on splattering kisses across his skin.

Nakahara Chuuya

Catching Chuuya unawares is a truly difficult task, but if you’re truly commited, you can sneak up on him if he’s on the middle of some important paperwork or something of that nature. He sees you coming before you reach him, naturally, but he stays still, letting you pounce on him without a fuss, even if he’s a bit confused.

As soon as your lips start hitting his skin in light little kisses, Chuuya’s face breaks out in a grin as his arms wrap around you. You’re just so cute, he can’t handle it! A laugh rumbles out of Chuuya’s chest as he stands still for a few beats, just appreciating this sudden burst of affection.

Chuuya, though, is never one to be outdone, even by you. He doesn’t let you smother his skin for long before his arms shift and he’s suddenly sweeping you off your feet, his strong arms capturing you so that you can’t resist. As soon as you’re pinned in his grasp, comfortably encircled in his arms, Chuuya turns the tables.

Chuuya peppers you with kisses instead, a grin plastered against his face as his lips travel all over your skin, attacking here and there until you’re a blushing, giggling mess. He does relish affection, to be sure; but with things like this, why receive when you can give? Chuuya loves to get your face flushed and laughter bubbling from your chest, and he’ll do anything to make you smile.

Ryunosuke Akutagawa

For how guarded Akutagawa is, pouncing on him from the shadows in a sneak attack is surprisingly easy. Dealing with him afterward is the tricky part. When your arms clasp around him, intending to pull him into sweet little kisses, he immediately tenses. Akutagawa’s attack mode flips on instantly, and it’s a good thing you’re planting your lips on the back of his neck, because otherwise Rashomon might’ve skewered you. The only thing that saves you from a self-defending smack is the fact that Akutagawa recognizes you’re the only person that would dare kiss him.

Sighing, Akutagawa turns to face you, the tiniest of carnation pink blushes blooming across his face as you lean to splatter kisses across his cheeks. After you’ve thoroughly covered his face, he sends you a glare (there’s no real heat in it, of course; Akutagawa’s just upset that you could’ve been hurt by catching him off guard). “You know I don’t appreciate surprises,” he grumps, though he doesn’t push you away. He immediately panics when he notices your face fall, obviously hurt by his words. “I suppose, though, this one’s fine…” Akutagawa trails off before deciding he can’t just leave you crestfallen and without kisses.

Tipping your face to his, Akutagawa sweeps his lips over yours, settling once you’re firmly comfortable in his arms. He lavishes affection across your mouth, teeth and tongue slowly working against yours as you melt into his grip. Akutagawa cuts it off when you’re both out of breath and have entirely forgotten his less-than-thrilling reaction to your surprise kiss attack. “Next time,” he requests, planting a tiny kiss on your nose for good measure, “warn me, and I promise I’ll enjoy every kiss you give.” With that, Akutagawa’s back to his business like nothing ever happened.

Ozaki Kouyou

Nobody sneaks up on Kouyou; no matter how hard you try, you’ll never be able to spring a surprise attack on this woman. From the moment you get positioned, Kouyou’s entirely aware where you are. She knows you’re up to something, even if she’s not sure what. Kouyou won’t call you out; your antics intruige her too much for her to ask you just what you’re up to. She simply waits, side-eyeing you, until you make your move.

“My, you’re excitable today,” Kouyou chuckles as you spring your attack, peppering kisses up and down her skin. Usually, she’s not one for bubbly displays of affection, but when you’re wound up, she can’t help but catch a bit of your vivacity.

Kouyou lets you smother her in light kisses for awhile, leaning into you. Gently wrapping her arms around your waist, she simply basks in your presence, a tiny smile flirting with the edges of her lips.

Eventually, Kouyou grows restless with your sweet display. Catching your chin between her thumb and forefinger, she halts you mid-kiss. “Now, my dear, you know you shouldn’t be so teasing for such a long time,” she purrs, tugging you flush against her. Pulling your face to hers, Kouyou plants her soft lips gently against yours, slowing shifting against your skin. Slowly but surely, she takes control of the kiss, letting her tongue slip out to taunt your mouth. Kouyou doesn’t mind sweetness, and she’ll accept any affection from you; just don’t be surprised when she pulls you down into something deeper, shifting the mood from lighthearted to sensual in a few expert moves.

#Bungou Stray Dogs #Dazai #Chuuya #Akutagawa #Atsushi #Kouyou #Yosano #Fukuzawa #Yukichi Fukuzawa #Yosano Akiko #Atsushi Nakajima #Nakahara Chuuya #Akutagawa Ryunosuke #Dazai Osamu #Bungou Stray Dogs Headcanons #BSD Headcanons

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lenin-it-to-win-it · 7 years

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“Aftermath: Part One”

Chuuya has managed to defeat Fyodor and find the chamber where Dazai has been held captive for several weeks. Dazai has survived- and there ends the good news.

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(Note: there’s a lot of blood and mutilation in this one, implied torture, that sort of thing. Also thanks to @noticemedazai and her beautiful drawing of limbless Dazai (except I guess he was kneeling not legless lol rip me) for inspiring me to write this fic! Part Two coming soon, possibly this week but more likely next because I start school again tomorrow and will probably be pretty busy.)

*****************************************************************************************************

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Chuuya could hear the distinct sound of water droplets shattering against the floor with eerie regularity, each drop striking the ground with a predetermined pattern that reeked of the inevitable. The sound seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at once, somehow both amplified and stifled by the oppresive darkness that pervaded the chamber. With every passing moment, Chuuya could feel his lungs growing heavier, as if the blackness was a tangible force infecting his body.

Sickly white light from the outer corridor trickled in like a stream of pus oozing from a half-healed sore, retreating as the door began to close. Chuuya cocked his fist and struck the door at full force. The decaying wood splintered with a resounding crack. Even the doorframe groaned and threatened to collapse in on itself, but the stone walls surrounding it on all sides remained intact. Light flooded through the now-open doorway, and Chuuya had to close his eyes for a moment to adjust to the glare.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

The sound, Chuuya had discovered, was coming from one of many exposed pipes rusting on the ceiling. Chuuya stared at the pipe, then at the grayish water bleeding out of it, the water falling not in an uninterrupted stream but in numerous fragmented drops. It was easier to focus on the pipes, to trace the downward path of the water droplets than to look anywhere else.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

If he tore his gaze from the pipes for even a second, Chuuya would have been forced to confront the metal table that had been wheeled in and set against a particularly bloody portion of the wall, taking note of the constrast of the sharply glistening steel and the dark, damp stone walls, the congealing coat of blood the only similarity between the two. Of course, had Chuuya been paying attention to anything but the solitary staccato striking of water droplets against ground, he might have found subtle distinctions between the way blood clings to stone, so tenderly, almost lovingly, sinking deep into every shadowed crevice, while blood abhors the sleekness of steel, deigning to form nothing more than shallow pools on the table’s mirror-slick surface.

Drip. Drip.

The smoothness of the table was interrupted only by a motley collection of bloodied blades in all sizes, from daggers to scalpels to a serrated something that bore a suspicious resemblence to a hacksaw, as well as a few instruments of torture Chuuya would not have recognized, even if he had shifted his attention from the rusting pipe. Much more easily identifiable were the ragged chunks of dark brown hair, torn, bloodstained bandages, and bits of flesh that littered the table.

Drip.

The monotonous music of water droplets had ceased to leave any impact on Chuuya’s mind, forcing his ears to reconcile themselves the only other sound in the chamber. The prisoner’s breathing, barely audible when Chuuya had first entered the room, rose in a ragged crescendo, every sharp, uneven breath piercing Chuuya’s heart.

Dazai.

Even in his state of not-noticing, Chuuya had not been able to avoid the simple wooden chair placed almost perfectly in the center of the room or the familiar figure tied to it. At least, Chuuya assumed Dazai was tied up- he had made no motion to escape- but all he could see of his partner was the back of his head and a fraction of his neck that rose over the solid back of the chair.

Though Chuuya should have been able to see Dazai’s arms on the side of the chair, he couldn’t. After a moment of blank panic, Chuuya realized his hands were probably bound behind him or maybe in his lap. That was it. That had to be it. Choking back what could have been bile or a scream, Chuuya pushed forward, slowly making his way to the center of the room.

The bandages around Dazai’s neck had come unwound at some point, revealing a wide gash near his hairline as well as several smaller, paler scars closer to the base of his neck. The few tattered strands of fabric that remained had been soaked so thoroughly in blood that they were dyed black at the edges.

Dazai’s thick chestnut curls had been torn off in uneven chunks, exposing a bare scalp riddled with welts. Chuuya’s fingers curled up in phantom memory of all the times he had ran his hands through that hair. The beginnings of a sob started to rise in Chuuya’s throat, but he beat it back down, clenching his hands into fists. So Dazai had lost some hair. Was that the worst that Russian bastard could do? Surely Dazai Foremost-Torture-Expert-in-the-Port-Mafia Osamu could handle worse. The thought rang false the moment it crossed Chuuya’s mind. Uneasily, he flashed back to an altercation that had occured a few years ago: the whipping incident.

Dazai had been against using the whip from the start, but Chuuya had pushed and goaded until his partner finally relented. Chuuya had relished it at first, the rush of power, the sense of total control, the smack of leather against flesh, Dazai’s oh-so-self-assured voice deteriorating into desperate cries of pain, then Dazai had turned over, revealing the tears staining his cheeks. Regret flooded through Chuuya instantly, and he reached for his partner’s face, planning to wipe away his tears, but Dazai had slapped Chuuya’s wrist aside, anger burning in his dark eyes.

Dazai said something bitter, Chuuya retaliated with something defensive, and then Dazai replied with the only words Chuuya recalled from the argument:

“I don’t like pain.”

Spoken through tight lips and gritted teeth, tears still shimmering in his eyes, those words shook Chuuya to his core. “Dazai,” he said as softly as he could manage. “I’m sor-” Dazai stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Chuuya felt his apology shrivel up and die on his lips. “Sorry you’re such a fucking bitch!” he screamed at the closed door, savagely swiping at the tears pricking his eyes. “Good luck if you ever have to deal with real pain, asshole!”

Now, as his harsh words came rushing back to him, Chuuya couldn’t ignore the bitter taste of guilt in his mouth, hot and acidic as blood. “Dazai!” he cried out in a voice on the verge of breaking, reaching for his partner’s shoulder with a trembling hand. Chuuya had long since lost his gloves in the battle to reach the chamber, so his hands were bare. The instant his hand made contact, Dazai howled with pain. It was not a human sound but a wretched, bestial cry of agony that made Chuuya’s blood run cold.

Chuuya snatched his hand away immediately, but his fingers came back damp with blood. “Damn it, Dazai,” he whispered, staring down at the stream of blood as it wound a serpentine path down his wrist. His partner’s only reply was a slight hitch in his shallow, feeble gasps for air.

Suddenly, Chuuya realized he still hadn’t seen Dazai’s face. He closed his eyes for a moment, giving himself a moment to gather his strength before facing the extent of the damage. “I’m Port Mafia, after all,” he thought to himself in the darkness behind his eyelids. “I’ve seen it all before. I can handle this.” He walked around the chair, his footsteps echoing like gunshots in the small room. “I have to.” A shiver ran down his spine. “Dazai needs me.” Chuuya sucked in a deep breath and opened his eyes.

Dazai’s head hung limply against his chest, as if his neck was broken, and even his breathing seemed to have faded into nothing. What remained of his dark hair obscured his face. On instinct, Chuuya reached out and grabbed Dazai’s chin, forcing his face upward so he could meet his partner’s eyes. Dazai did not scream but whimper, a small, pitiful little sound that forced a gasp out of Chuuya. Biting his lip to keep from crying out again, Chuuya kept his hold on Dazai’s face.

Dazai’s face was thinner and paler than Chuuya had ever seen it, his skin not white but rather translucent, entirely devoid of color beneath a mask of dull blue, violet, and greenish-yellow bruises. There was a burn on his cheek that had eaten away so many layers of skin that Chuuya half-expected to be able to see the inside of Dazai’s mouth. Gashes and half-healed scars fractured his face. One eye was filmed over in red, the other swollen shut entirely. Chuuya wondered if Dazai could see at all. His face was empty of any recognition.

Chuuya struggled to find his voice. “Dazai, it’s me,” he choked out, every word grating against his throat. “Chuuya.”

Dazai’s lips worked soundlessly to form Chuuya’s name. His bottom lip had been sliced open too recently for scabs to coalesce. He could not speak, but his eyes seemed to focus on Chuuya’s face for a moment. “Uuu?” he whimpered. His mouth fell open, and Chuuya noticed that several teeth had been chipped and shattered, the rest torn out entirely, and all that remained of his tongue was a quivering mass of bloody flesh. “Uuu?”

Chuuya’s eyes burned with tears. “Yeah, that’s right, Chuuya’s here,” he whispered, stroking Dazai’s ruined cheek with one finger. “I’m gonna get you out of here, okay?”

Just as the leaking pipes once had Chuuya transfixed, Dazai’s face now held his undivided attention. Chuuya had been so focused on Dazai’s face, the face of the man he had loved and hated for so long, that the thought of looking away didn’t so much as cross his mind. He might have stared at Dazai’s face for minutes or hours longer if a sudden lapse in Dazai’s breathing didn’t give Chuuya the idea to check his pulse. Chuuya reached for Dazai’s wrist only for his fingers to close upon empty air. Slowly, he raised his eyes to where Dazai’s arm should have been.

His arms were not tied behind his back; they were truncated at the elbows. A cursory glance downward revealed that his legs had received similar treatment.

In all the time Chuuya had known him, Dazai had been covered in bandages, but there were no bandages concealing the mangled lumps of flesh and bone protruding from where his arms used to be. The cruel irony was not lost on Chuuya. Against his will, a crooked smile contorted his face and he began to laugh, quietly at first and then so loudly his echoed shouts of laughter resounded like rolling thunder in the confines of the chamber. Hot tears coursed down Chuuya’s cheeks as he stumbled back from Dazai, the same rictus smile carved upon his face.

“You’re probably even shorter than I am now,” Chuuya said through a hysterical giggle. “But it’s okay, you’ll be okay. I’ll take care of you. Don’t worry, Dazai, I’ll take good care of you. . .” Chuuya slid his knife out of his pocket lifted it to Dazai’s neck.

Dazai was trembling. It wasn’t a shiver of fear but rather a bone-deep shuddering, as if something solid had broken apart at his core until at last he shook so violently even his pupils seemed to convulse within his irises, like he was already dissolving, already becoming something less concrete than flesh, something less than human. His shuddering dark eyes met Chuuya’s cold blue stare. Once more, his lips struggled to fit themselves around the syllables of his partner’s name.

Chuuya pressed the flat edge of his knife against Dazai’s lips. “Be quiet!” he snarled, dragging the back of his hand against his eyes to beat back tears. “Just-” A tear slid off Chuuya’s face and shattered on the bloodstained ground as water fell from the rusty pipes above.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

“Just- just let me-” With shaking hands, Chuuya brought the knife to Dazai’s neck, gripping the handle with both hands.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Dazai closed his eyes, arching his neck forward to meet the blade.

Drip. Drip. Dri-

Chuuya tossed his knife to the ground and threw his arms around Dazai’s quivering shoulders. His tears mixed with blood on Dazai’s cheeks. “I can’t do it,” he whispered, gripping Dazai’s shoulders so hard his knuckles paled. Chuuya lifted his tearstained face and gave Dazai a shattered smile. “If you want to die, you’re gonna have to do it the hard way, mackerel. I’m too damn selfish to let you go.” Chuuya slipped an arm around Dazai’s back and wound his other arm beneath the remains of his knees. “Come on, then,” he breathed, his words hot in Dazai’s ear. “Let’s get you home.”

#bungou stray dogs #soukoku #here come dat fic o shit waddup #mm i dont like this one as much as my last fic tbh #but part 2 is gonna be a lot better im sure #bc that one will have some actual fuckin dialogue which is like the one thing i can sort of write well lol #i just hope this fic isnt too boring #a lot of standing around and looking at things ahh #also idk if I had chuuya react enough?#like I got too caught up in the descriptions at times that I dont think i really took the time to step back into chuuya's thoughts on it #also holy fuck my sentences are so long in this #i wanted it to feel drawn out and painful but also like idk if it lessens the emotional impact?#maybe choppier syntax would have made the pain feel more immediate?#also i was gonna end it with chuuya using corruption and killing himself and dazai which would have been a stronger ending #but then i ended up getting a fuckin great idea for part two so i kind of need dazai and chuuya to stay alive a bit longer lol

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