#he is 19 why make him look 8 or younger weirdos

[sugarbear2001]

People who draw Luffy to look like a little kid in ship art and doujinshi are weird af.

#allys diary #he is 19 why make him look 8 or younger weirdos #Tbh myreading manga should ban that kinda shit but i know they wont #one piece #monkey d. luffy

[blueteller]

TCF Summary Arc by Arc (Part 6/8)

Every TCF story arc in a nutshell

Volume 6: chapters 500-599

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(Due to convoluted nature of the following segment, let me introduce you to a temporarily different summary format:)

Welcome, to the 4-Way-Battle Event! [Contestants:] Team 1 – Cale Henituse & Choi Han, conducting revolution with Princess Jopis! Team 2 – Bud Illis & the Elves, rescuing the survivors of the 1,001 mercenary squad! Team 3 – Clopeh Sekka and Witira, protecting the World Tree from intruders! Team 4 – Alberu Crossman and Taylor Stan, defending the North-Western Territory of the Roan Kingdom from invading forces!

[Supporting Roles:] Team 1 – joined by Raon, Mary, Tasha, On, Hong and the Molan Assassin Squad! Team 2 – joined by Rosalyn and the Sun Twins! Team 3 – joined by Archie and Paseton! Team 4 – joined by Lock and the Tiger Tribe!

[Schedule:] Team 1, Versus; Queen Elisneh the First! Team 2, Versus; "Mysterious Endable Forces"! Team 3, Versus; Dorph and the Lion Tribe! Team 4, Versus; the White Star! (All taking place at the same time!)

Round 1: Battle at the Molden Kingdom! Team 1 wins! (Elisneh, your illusion power sucks… Cale's "greatest fear" is waking up in Korea and eating ramen??? Wait Pendrick, bad idea, no don't give Cale that stick-!) Team 1 retreats to support Team 2! *Cale coughs blood and/or faints counter: 19* *World Tree Branch & Fake World Tree have been added to the Inventory*

Round 2: Battle at the Gate to the Demon World! Team 2 gets away safely! (What's up with that thirsty Vampire…? Cale, are you SURE you wanna be allies with that weirdo??) Teams 1 & 2 retreat to support Team 4!

Round 3: Battle at the Lake of Despair! Team 3 wins without issues! (Witira, my Queen, you're so cool 🤩 Lol Dorph you loser, get dunked on)

Round 4: Battle at the Stan Territory! Team 4 persists! The enemy retreats upon the arrival or reinforcements! (Gasp! Crown Prince Alberu is revealed to be a Highest Grade Magic Swordsman!? His popularity skyrockets!!!) Team 1 arrives to save the day!

(Now back to regular summary format!)

Conspiracy Theorist White Star Strikes Again! White Star: *holding Alberu up by the neck, about to dramatically reveal his Dark Elf form to everyone* *The Cavalry Arrives!* Cale: Let him go. White Star: *actually does* Cale: …wow you actually did?? White Star: Of course. Your dragon would have stabbed me in the back otherwise Raon: Huh, how did he know? Cale: You don't even look pissed off? White Star: I took some time to think about it. It all makes sense now Cale: (…why do I have a bad feeling-?) White Star: Obviously, you're my Destined Rival, the Chosen One of a God Cale: … Cale: (WTF???) White Star: At last, a worthy opponent. Our final battle shall be legendary! Cale: (Oh HELL no!!! Is he trying to destroy my slacker life dream?!) Cale: You're just saying that to confuse my allies and run away!! White Star: That's right Cale: Wait what White Star: *disappears* Cale: (Well f***) Also Cale: *accidentally radiates charisma* The Soldiers: Gasp! Our Commander HAS been chosen by the Gods! Alberu: (…I should probably stop him, but honestly I'm too tired for this s***)

To the Endable Kingdom! Cage: Hey Cale, the God of Death wants to make you his Saint. Whaddya think? Cale: …That motherf***ing God of Death!!! (Does HE want to ruin my dream, too?!) THE ANSWER IS NO! Cage: Cheers! *pulls out wine glasses* Cale: Your highness, PLEASE stop those ridiculous rumors about me Alberu: … Cale: It's too late, isn't it Duke Fredo: *shows up in a crow form* 'Sup everyone, 'tis I, your friendly neighborhood Vampire. Give me some of your blood pls Cale: No. Duke Fredo: Shame. Be my son then Cale: Wait what Duke Fredo: I have an artifact that stores the appearance of my younger self. I use it to pretend that I have a son Cale: So…? Duke Fredo: So I can give it to you to infiltrate the White Star's secret kingdom Cale: Wait, so I get to play a spoiled brat?? *excited* Duke Fredo: No, no. My son persona is very polite and well-behaved. Also, he's the White Star's favorite nephew Cale: … Cale: *rants* HYUNG, CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS S***!? Alberu: *dying from laughter*

Naru Time! Cale: *Naru mode on* Naru!Cale: *looks gloomy and depressed* Endable Citizens: Poor Young Master Naru! He must be so heartbroken about his father being in a coma! Naru!Cale: (…I can't f***ing believe this) Naru!Cale: …That evil Cale Henituse, I will never forgive him! White Star: There there, my dear nephew, cheer up *pats him on the head* Naru!Cale: (This bastard, using the hand that already I RIPPED OFF OF HIM…!) Naru!Cale: *looks even more depressed* Solena & Melundo: (Wow, this human is amazing at this!) White Star: Naru, let us hug before I go Naru!Cale: (…should I kill him?) The Ancient Powers: CALE, NO, YOU'LL DIE Naru!Cale: (Goddammit.) *White Star and Cale hug, traumatizing Cale for life* Choi Han & Raon: *watch everything hidden in a closet* Raon: Poor Human! He's so great at acting! Choi Han: *emotional* Cale-nim… you truly are strong… Duke Fredo: *snickers inwardly while playing dead* Naru!Cale: *dying on the inside*

Cale Henituse Orders a Hit on Cale Henituse Fredo: The White Star has a device that can turn him into a member of the Demonic Race and every citizen of this kingdom is cursed so that they can't destroy it. Cale: I see, THAT'S why you needed me Fredo: Correct. You also need to attend the Nobles' grand assembly in my place Cale: So I can do whatever I want? Fredo: Sure thing son. Have fun Cale: Thanks, father! *munches on cookies from the White Star* Raon: Oh wow these are tasty! Cale: (I know, right?) Choi Han: So, are we going to loot them? Cale: *confused* No? Why would you think that?? Choi Han & Raon: (…Don't we always do that??) Choi Han: Then what are you going to do, Cale-nim? Cale: I'm going have them go to war against Cale Henituse. Choi Han: I see- wait what Endable Nobles: *at the assembly* (Hmph, what can a weak little kid like him do…?) Naru!Cale: LET'S GO KILL CALE HENITUSE White Star & Gersey: ??? White Star & Gersey: *actually want to do their demonic stuff in the background* Wait, that's- Endable Nobles: (A chance for a promotion!!!) Endable Nobles: YES, YOUNG MASTER NARU, LET'S GO KILL CALE HENITUSE White Star & Gersey: (…well s***) Naru!Cale: *radiating naive confidence* Uncle, please let me lead our warriors to victory! White Star: *pressured* …I shall think this matter over Naru!Cale: *drops info on Cale Henituse's "biggest weakness" into Count Mock's lap* Count Mock: Look at this my Liege! With this, we can totally defeat Cale Henituse! White Star: …seems legit. Go ahead then

Chilling in Endable Fredo: You've seen the streets, right? You know we're simply people like the rest of the world? Cale: Yes, I get it. You just want to have a place for dark attribute races to live in peace, so you want to be the King of this place Fredo: That's right. So, to show my good will, I saved 500 of the mercenaries you sent to spy on the Gate to the Demon World Cale: But you won't release them just yet, right? Fredo: Correct, I want to have the high ground of course Cale: *Uno Reverse Card* But now you need me to complete your plans, so I have the high ground Fredo: …well played, son Choi Han: Cale-nim, we found Fredo's secret notes on the White Star… But why is his name "Cale Barrow"? Why was he cursed on the same date as our birthday?? And why does his face look like Kim Rok Soo??? Cale: (WTF???) Cale: …you know, whatever that means, I don't even care. Alberu: *shows up in his Dark Elf form* Alberu: Hello. My name is Bob. Cale: Hi Hyung, 'sup? Alberu: …did you get fatter?? Cale: I guess so. Hey, White Star's cookies are better than yours. Alberu: *legit upset* I-is that so…?

Attack on the Black Castle Count Mock: *points at the castle inhabited by a bunch of Dragons* See this enemy base? There are only weak people there! Let's conquer it!! Endable Forces: *immediatelly all get captured*

First Contact with the Sealed God Cotton: *leads Cale and co. to a secret shelter* Ok, so here are the mercenaries, all safe and sound Cale: Great, time to infiltrate the Temple of the Demonic God Cale's Group: *sees the statue of unmasked White Star* Wow this statue sure is ugly, I wonder who this is Cale: … Cale: (…Well, at least I never made an expression like that) Cotton: …well s***. Gersey spotted us!!! Eruhaben: I'll slow them down Cale: *enters into a room with 8 monster statues* Cale: WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL (Why are there unranked monsters from Korea here as statues?!?!) [Mysterious Black Hand Appears] White Star & Gersey: WAIT, NO! Cale's Group: Wait, why are they-? Cale: *gets captured by the Black Hand* *One Continent Away* Cage: F***!!!! Young Master Cale's Vow of Death was cut!!! Everybody: …Is Cale DEAD!?!? *panic* *Meanwhile:* Cale: The hell is this…? Sealed God: Hello. I am pure evil incarnate. Wanna become a member of the Demonic Race? Cale: How about NO?! I want to be a slacker, you crazy bastard! Sealed God: What a funny joke. Cale: Actually, I'm not joking- Sealed God: Anyway, I will MAKE you want me. *dumps him into a test* Cale: What kind of-?! Cale: *wakes up as 20-year-old Kim Rok Soo*

Genre Change: Welcome, to Monster Apocalypse! Park Jin Tae: *beats KRS up* Hey Kim Rok Soo, admit that I'm the king of this place already! KRS!Cale: Oh yeah, this was the time when Park Jin Tae was the king of the shelter… PJT: (…he finally admitted it???) PJT: …I guess we're done for today, then? KRS!Cale: (Ok, so this is right before the monster flood that kills everyone in the shelter. Is this real or an illusion…?) Sealed God: I'm always watching you, waiting for you to give in~ KRS!Cale: *ignores yet another god simping after him* (It feels real, so I'm going to act like it. Let's flip this whole thing over) KRS!Cale: Ok, I got an announcement everybody. I awakened my ability PJT: (He's an ability user now??) What kind of ability…? KRS!Cale: Foresight. And we're all going to die tomorrow Everybody: (WTF???) PJT: You got any proof? KRS!Cale: You would have saved my life and fought to the end to protect this place despite projecting yourself as an irredeemable a**hole. Also, you're a multiple ability user. PJT: !!! PJT: …I suppose you're telling the truth then… We're all going to die? KRS!Cale: It's okay, I got a plan- Choi Han: *suddenly shows up* KRS!Cale: (Choi Han???) The Koreans: Who is this?? Choi Han: *smiling* I'm someone who came to pay for his meals (Me and the whole fandom: *cries*) KRS!Cale: How… how are you here?? Choi Han: You're imprisoned in a black orb right now. This isn't time travel btw, this is probably just a different universe. I made a deal with the God of Death to cut off some of my lifespan to help you. Only the part where I outlive Raon, tho KRS!Cale: Are you crazy?! Choi Han: I didn't want to be left alone. (Me: Seriously, I am crying right now) KRS!Cale: …I am sorry. And thank you. Really, thank you very much. (Me: *ugly sobbing*)

Time Travel Fix-It, Korean Style! Koreans: *deliver KRS's "foresight" message to nearby shelters* KRS!Cale: *makes detailed plans on how to effectively use everybody's abilities to surive* Choi Han: *slays the monsters true Protagonist Style* The Koreans: *shocked* …H-huh? KRS!Cale: Ok so the Grade 1 monsters are the biggest problem, but there will be only 7 of them PJT: "ONLY" seven??? (This bastard is crazy…) KRS!Cale: We can do it. Oh, and let's call those two people currently hiding one building over The Koreans: Huh?? Kim Min Ah & Bae Puh Rum: What's going o-? KRS!Cale: I'm going to teach you how to fight monsters properly now. KMA & BPR: Huh??? Cale: *fights like a boss despite his emaciated body and less-than-half powered Ancient Powers* PJT: (I don't care what other abilities there are… this foresight ability's the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life…) *Cale coughs blood and/or faints counter: 20*

Enter Tigeru KRS!Cale: (I remember hearing that some of the Grade 1 monsters can talk… perhaps I can negotiate with them?) Dark Tiger: Hello. My name is Alberu Crossman Everybody: (WTF???) The Koreans: …Is Kim Rok Soo a monster-charming fairy tale princess or something??? KRS!Cale: …ok, how is this possible?? Dark Tiger!Alberu: I made a deal with the Sun God to help you just like Choi Han- KRS!Cale & Choi Han: You sacrificed your lifespan too?! That motherf***ing God of Death!!! Tiger!Alberu: No, I- wait, you sacrificed your lifespan?! Choi Han: … Tiger!Alberu: We WILL talk about this later, Instructor-him. But for now, Cale please explain what's going on. KRS!Cale: … KRS!Cale: …Are the children doing well? Tiger!Alberu: *sigh* (I knew he'd ask that first) Yes, the children are well KRS!Cale: Are they eating well? Tiger!Alberu: Yes, they are eating well KRS!Cale: I see. I'm a transmigrator. Tiger!Alberu: Huh? KRS!Cale: I possessed Cale Henituse's body two years ago Tiger!Alberu: Huh?? KRS!Cale: My real name is Kim Rok Soo and I was 36 when I transmigrated Tiger!Alberu: HUH??? KRS!Cale: Also Choi Han's my friend's uncle/paternal cousin once removed. He's actually super old Choi Han: *nonchalantly* That's right, I dimension traveled at 17 and I'm actually older than your grandfather Tiger!Alberu: …You motherf***ing bastards Tiger!Alberu: … Tiger!Alberu: I'm still the Hyung tho.

Enter Choi Jung Soo & Lee Soo Hyuk KRS!Cale: Ok, the first unranked monster is going to appear soon, so we're going to Seomyeon, Busan. Lee Soo Hyuk will be there, too. PJT: *realizes that Lee Soo Hyuk is going to be furious at him for beating up KRS* (…well s***) KRS!Cale: On the way, let's help some other shelters. We'll be picking up more allies from other places The Koreans: …Huh? KRS!Cale: Also I made allies out of 2 more talking Grade 1 monsters off-screen The Koreans: Huh?? KRS!Cale: Also we're launching a counteroffensive against the monsters nearby as they're waiting for their turn The Koreans: *who went from hiding in fear from the monsters to fighting them within the span of 24 hours* …HUH??? KRS!Cale: *using Alberu as a steed* Hyung, please roar Tiger!Alberu: …You son of a b**** Tiger!Alberu: *roars* Joo Ho-Shik: *sees KRS!Cale* (…I can make a religion out of this) Joo Ho-Shik: I HAVE FAITH! *uses Faith Power to make everyone stronger* Choi Han & Tiger!Alberu: *snickering* (Why hello Clopeh 2.0) KRS!Cale: (IGNORE.) Tiger!Alberu: …hey, isn't that Choi Jung Soo? He looks just like you described him Choi Jung Soo: …wut's goin' on?? KRS!Cale: *beams at him happily* We're taking your group with us. Btw, Choi Han will be teaching you sword arts CJS: *is confusion* KRS!Cale: *arrives at central shelter in Seomyeon* Tell Lee Soo Hyuk that if he won't show up right now I'm going home Messenger: *panicking* Sir, some people are looking for you! Do you know someone named "Kim Rok Soo"? Lee Soo Hyuk: …Kim Rok Soo? That punk? Messenger: He says that if you won't show up he's going home! LSH: That does sound like Kim Rok Soo... LSH: *shows up* Hey you! …Have you been eating properly? You look terrible KRS!Cale: Not as terrible as you LSH: ...It really IS Kim Rok Soo! LSH: *hugs him* LSH: It's been too long. …Thank you for surviving, Kim Rok Soo (Me: 😭😭😭) KRS!Cale: Why don't you move away? LSH: *even happier* Wow, you haven't changed! (Me: I am slayed. I'm dead. A ghost is writing the rest of this summary…) KRS!Cale: Anyway, this is Alberu Crossman-Hyung- LSH: "Hyung"? How old are you? Tiger!Alberu: Me? I'm 25- LSH: I'm older then. I'M the Hyung. *smug* *Cale coughs blood and/or faints counter: 21*

Gearing Up for the Final Boss KRS!Cale: Ok let's get everybody here, I don't want to say this more than once Shelter Leaders: *show up* So, who's this punk who claims to know the future? What a waste of our time, hurry up! KRS!Cale: *starts reciting exact numbers of survivors at each of their shelters* Shelter Leaders: (…WTF.) KRS!Cale: So a monster stronger than anything we've ever seen before is going to show up. With my plan, we're going to achieve an overwhelming victory. If you don't wanna join and learn how to defeat those, your loss. *mike-drop* Shelter Leaders: (…well f***. Looks like we all gotta fight that thing) KRS!Cale: Ok, so the monster will show up at the shore and go through a subway. It can split in two and use electricity and sonic blasts. Also it's skin is nearly impenetrable LSH: Sounds great. Excuse me for a moment, I gotta go educate someone. *beats PJT to a pulp* CJS: *learning swords arts from Choi Han* (Something is clearly up… this guy has my family name and uses similar techniques… who the heck is he???) *Back in the Roan Kingdom:* On, Hong and Raon: So how is our Human doing? Alberu: *sweating* Alberu: He's… doing great. *thinks of all the blood and monster fighting going on in Korea* (Cale you bastard, how am I supposed to "keep it positive"?!) The Sun Twins: We found a lead about something that could help us against the Sealed God! "Only someone who's overcome the curse of the sun will be able to bring out the memories buried underneath this boulder"… Alberu: *remembers the boulder with the Crossman family curse on it* Ok, let's see.. Alberu: *puts some blood on it* *AI spear appears* Taerang: Hello sir, I will be your best weapon against unranked monsters Alberu: Well, well, would you look at this… *Unbreakable Spear Taerang has been added to the Inventory* *Meanwhile, in Korea:* KRS!Cale: So we all trained up and made a plan. Everybody ready? LSH: Yup! PJT: *having survived LSH's "educational" sessions* …y-yup, sure… JHS: *whispers* I have faith…! KRS!Cale: Ok, everybody to their positions [A Wild Electric Eel Appeared!] The Koreans: *stare at the Godzilla-sized monster* (…Well f***.)

End Volume 6.

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#tcf #trash of the count's family #lcf #lout of the count’s family #summary #story arc #tcf funny summary series #tcf humor #tcf hilarious moments #tcf volume 6

[jaskiersbard]

Oh my god how dare you like a popular version of Romeo + Juliet and how dare you like an Oscar winning film about your special interest? So problematic of you (I’m being sarcastic, you do you, other anon is just a weirdo)

Oh my god I know, it’s so funny?!?

Like let’s be totally upfront here: do I like Leonardo DiCaprio as an actor? Yes. He’s a brilliant actor who makes good movies. Does that mean I’m okay with him dating 19 year olds? Nope, that’s very fucking weird and he needs to start dating women who are at the very least 30. (Apparently he isn’t dating the 19 year old model he was pictured with, they were just sitting together at a party, but my point still very much stands, he does have a very wrong habit of dating only under 25 year olds even now he’s in his 40s).

As for his movies, specifically the two the anon seemed so pressed about… I like Romeo + Juliet, and I have since I was 13 and I watched it in English class. I love William Shakespeare’s plays, and I love watching them be performed in any medium, especially R+J (side note: the NT Live version of Romeo and Juliet with Jessie Buckley that was filmed during COVID in an empty theatre is also amazing). Not only am I an English/writing nerd, I’m also a drama nerd - I fucking ADORE a bit of William Shakespeare. I love Baz Luhrmann’s movies as well, I think he’s an amazing director, I’ve seen nearly every single one of his movies and loved them (R+J, Moulin Rouge, Great Gatsby, Elvis etc). I love the soundtrack of the movie. I love the other actors in it like Claire Danes, John Leguizamo, Harold Perrineau, Miriam Margolyes, Paul Rudd etc. That film is a fucking trip from start to finish and I love that I’ve seen people younger than me discover it because I genuinely think it can help younger generations understand Shakespeare a little more and ignite an interest in his works.

I first watched Titanic aged 7 or 8 so it was very much a film I saw a number of times from a young age. Last year I became interested in the real life Titanic sinking and everything related to it, which led to it becoming my new special interest - I even went to an exhibition in London on the day after the 110th anniversary of the sinking last year. I made a whole post over on @alwaysahiccupandastrid about how accurate James Cameron’s movie was, which is why I rewatched the film last year and fell in love with it - the romance is lovely, but I was genuinely more fascinated by the effort and attention to detail Cameron put into the movie, from the costumes and sets to the depiction of the sinking. No, it’s not 100% historically accurate, some liberties were taken, but the accuracies by far outweigh the inaccuracies. I adore Kate Winslet and think she is one of the most beautiful women on earth, and I look up to her for various reasons. I love the performances of the other cast, like Kathy Bates, Bernard Hill, Billy Zane, Bill Paxton, Gloria Stuart etc. I’ve spoken before on my love for it, and I was fortunate enough to see it in cinemas this past February due to there being 25th anniversary screenings. Whether you like it or not, it’s undeniably one of the best films made and I stand by my love for it.

Yes, I think Leo is great in the two films aforementioned, and I love Jack Dawson especially. But he’s not the only reason I watched either of them, or any film, and it’s highly disrespectful to belittle someone expressing a love for any film by claiming they’re only interested based on one actor, as if they can’t enjoy a film for multiple reasons. I enjoy a lot of Leo’s films and his performances, absolutely, because he’s so talented - but that doesn’t mean I agree with whatever the fuck he’s doing in his private life.

To add, I am very much a cinephile who enjoys a variety of movies: often times there’ll be a huge surge of posts about one movie then another surge of a different movie/show/whatever because I just go into the tag for it, mass-queue stuff, then come back and do the same thing for another movie/whatever. Some films are new, some films are from years - even decades - ago. Certain films being older doesn’t negate them being good!

Stay safe, lovely people!

#asks

[shijiujun]

Okay I’ve decided to do a single rec after I finish one novel hahaha because if I wait to get around to it all it’ll never happen! Anyway because @sarah-yyy​​ has been reading it and I’ve gotten a lot of asks/replies on this, I’m just going to do one huge list for one of my faves so everyone knows what’s going on and where to find things XD

- Part of Min’s ‘Why You Should Read’ Series -

Summary: 

This is set in a historical setting where men can marry other men, but it’s usually reserved for sons who were not borne by the official main first wife of the patriarch of the family, i.e. a son born by a concubine in a family may be forced to marry a man to keep him from being able to become the next family’s patriarch for example. This is because any family’s next leader needs to be able to have children with a wife who married in as a zheng shi (lawful wife), and not a ce shi (second wife) or any other concubines/mistresses etc. Most of these men who marry other men have to take them as their zheng shi and lawful spouse in a sense, and the same goes for the royal family.

The story starts with third prince Jing Shao, who was forced to marry Mu Han Zhang, a Marquis’ second son, by the Empress and Emperor, thereby officially and effectively cutting him out of the race for the throne. He’s mocked by the public as everyone knows what this means, and for the next 10 years, he neglects Mu Han Zhang, blaming him for his predicament, and deliberately showers his three other concubines with affection in front of him, but 10 years later, when Jing Shao is accused of treason, everyone leaves him except for Mu Han Zhang. They are chased to the edge of the cliff by soldiers, and Mu Han Zhang dies in his arms having taken an arrow meant for him earlier, and Jing Shao jumps off the cliff with his dead body, and promises that if there’s a next life, he will do everything Han Zhang says, and love him.

He wakes up immediately on the night of his marriage with Han Zhang, and realizes that he’s been given a second chance to make everything right. Han Zhang is definitely afraid of him, humiliated and angry when he first wakes up after how rough Jing Shao was with him earlier on their wedding night, and he has no memories of their past life. Jing Shao then sets to SHOWER HAN ZHANG with affection, love and basically everything, because he realized that this is the only person who stayed by his side until the end, and then he falls in love with Han Zhang properly this time, and also deals with every single person who maligned and schemed against him in his previous life, with Han Zhang by his side.

Read: 

Novel (Online) | Novel (Print) - Not Available | Novel Translations | Manhua (You’ll have to download the KuaiKan app, the chapters are currently all free)

Characters:

1. 景韶 Jing Shao - 3rd Prince and is the first out of his three other brothers to be given a title 成王 (cheng wang). He’s referred to as 王爷, and also 小勺 (xiao shao) by Han Zhang. Went out on his first war when he was 14, and was thus given a title before any of his brothers. He’s known for being a merciless, cold and fierce army general/commander, but this was before his second life with Han Zhang, where he puts on like his doting mode and is basically a dumbass XD who listens to Han Zhang with a lot of trust, which is cool and all.

He marries Han Zhang when he’s 19, and in his first life he was very reluctant and resistant, and neglected Han Zhang for 10 years, until he was charged with treason and hunted down. 

In his first life he wanted to snatch the throne, even from his blood-related brother Jing Chen, but more out of spite than anything else because he felt he was dealt an unfair hand by having to marry Han Zhang. Not only that, but Jing Shao is not his father’s favourite son, and he always felt that the emperor was biased against him. Anyway, a huge accumulation of daddy and anger issues, which is fair.

When he realizes that Han Zhang died for him, he decides he will be good to Han Zhang if they are reborn in their next life.

2. 慕含章 Mu Han Zhang - The 2nd son of Marquis Bei Hou’s, born to a concubine. He’s called by his 表字 which is 君清 (jun qing) by Jing Shao. Official First Wife Bei Wei Hou-furen and her son (who is in line to inherit the Marquis title from his father) has bullied him all his life, and wanted to push him into greater desperation by marrying him to Jing Shao, knowing he will suffer at the hands of the supposed merciless/heartless wangye. He has a weak body because of an accident when he was younger, and in his first life he was really sick after being neglected for 10 years, and knowing this in their second life, Jing Shao does everything he can to take care of him.

He is incredibly smart, has a brain for business and sales, and is also very good at handling people, especially scheming ones. He aids Jing Shao in the beginning of their second life, and then Jing Chen later as well, as both brothers begin to fight to put Jing Chen on the throne, against the 1st and 4th Princes. Is an incredibly good tactician in war as well.

3. 景琛 Jing Chen - 2nd Prince, Jing Shao’s blood related older brother who is handsome af too. His title, given later in the novel, is 睿王 (rui wang). He was misunderstood by Jing Shao in the first life as Jing Shao thought it was his brother who led to him marrying Han Zhang, and because he’s not very good at expressing himself and shows his concern to Jing Shao by nagging at him, Jing Shao always thought he hated him. In their second life, Jing Shao already knows that Jing Chen loves him and did a lot for him in his first life, and so trusts his brother and supports him right off the bat, because Jing Chen is indeed the most suited person for the throne.

He has a wife and a concubine, 3 sons and 2 daughters at this point. He ends up helping Jing Shao a lot, and when he realizes that Han Zhang is way more adept at politics and the whole scheming thing than Jing Shao is, he begins trusting Han Zhang a lot more as well! There’s a surprise with Jing Chen hahaha which I loveee and could see, but wasn’t sure until they confirmed it in the last few chapters AHAHAHAHA.

Other Notable Characters:

1. Song Ling Xin (Second Wife) on the left, and two other concubines on the right

They’re pretty much vying for Jing Shao’s attention, but at this point apparently he hasn’t slept with any of them before. Song Ling Xin is the daughter of the Military Department’s Head Song An, and Jing Shao married her initially out of interest. The right most concubine (I forgot her name oops) was a gift given to him by his oldest brother, the 1st Prince. The two of them played a huge role in Jing Shao’s downfall back in his first life, and so in his second life, he especially detests Song Ling Xin. Plus the three of them keep bullying Han Zhang in the beginning, but thankfully Jing Shao is like: “Anything my Jun Qing wants”. They don’t stay around for long either, watch as Jing Shao gets rid of them like he’s swatting flies.

2. Xiao Yuan & Zhou Da-Ge

This is another male couple who’s been married for 7-8 years if I recall. Xiao Yuan is one of Jing Shao’s important allies and friends in the second life, because in Jing Shao’s first life, this was one of the only young officials in court who spoke up for him when the accusations of treason came about. Zhou Da-Ge is his husband, who is a cook running a restaurant in the city. Whenever Zhou Da-Ge bullies Xiao Yuan in bed a little too much, Xiao Yuan punishes him by making him wear colourful clothes out (pink, bright yellow, purple, etc.) and thus he has a reputation for being eccentric and a weirdo, but oh well, all for love.

3. Gu Huai Qing

One of Jing Shao and Jing Chen’s most powerful allies, and he becomes blood-sworn brothers with Jing Shao without realizing who he is. Later he takes a liking to Jing Chen.

(Will update with photos when they come out, but they’re a bit further into the story so we won’t have them for a few months yet ahahaha)

Amazing Scenes:

Jing Shao & Han Zhang first looks in the manhua

Jing Shao being THAT clingy husband and helping Han Zhang to wear his clothes properly so cute!!!!!

Han Zhang and Jing Shao in their first lives (10 years later), about to die, sad and then Jing Shao jumps down the cliff with Han Zhang’s corpse, regretful cuz he a dumb bij

Jing Shao unable to resist kissing Han Zhang’s cheek, realizes what he’s doing, and gets embarrassed LMAOOOO 没出息!!!!!!! (This is different from the novel, because in the novel Jing Shao just kisses and is done with that, the embarrassment part is drawn in only in the manhua hahaha)

Other Things I Like in the Novel:

Jing Shao is like, he does a 180 entirely and he is very cognisant of all his faults and what he did wrong previously, and how badly he treated Han Zhang, so he legit forces his brain to go “I will listen to Jun Qing from now on” and he really sticks to it!

Loves kissing and teasing Han Zhang, but doesn’t force him into bed after their wedding night, and instead goes to Xiao Yuan and asks for tips on how to make his partner feel less scared about sex

The both of them end up with a pet tiger?!! That’s called Xiao Huang (little yellow) LMAO

They nap together a lot which I love <3333

Jing Shao knows he’s bullied at home, so when they go back to the Marquis Bei Hou manor, he holds Han Zhang’s hand in front of everyone to let them know Han Zhang has someone to back him up

Brings Han Zhang to war because he “cannot concentrate if Jun Qing isn’t with me at all times” - and asks for special permission to do so

Han Zhang notes that since he married Jing Shao, as the ‘wife’ he is supposed to serve Jing Shao, but it’s always Jing Shao serving him - Getting water for him, bringing him to baths, putting clothes on for him, putting food in his plate if it tastes nice, massaging his back and waist etc. - and best is he doesn’t have to deal with any in-laws?!! HAHAHA

Jing Shao gets revenge on those who hurt Han Zhang when he was younger for him, and the outcome is pretty hilarious but well-deserved

EPILOGUES are cute af!!!!

#the wife is first #you own my all #qi wei shang #妻为上 #danmei #danmei novel #stebeee recs #min's why you should read

[multifandom-girlie]

𝐅𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐞

Imagine: Your parents think your bringing home a boyfriend for Christmas but you don't have one, so you ask someone really nicely to be your fake boyfriend.

Pairings: Human!Klaus x Human!Reader

Warnings: none.

Words: 1895

I was just walking out of Mikaelson Enterprises- where I work as Klaus Mikaelson’s assistant. When I get a call. I look down at the screen and notice an image of my mother pop up. Great. Just what I need after a long day of work. I decided to pick up the phone otherwise she will just hound me.

“Hey Mama. What’s up ?”

“Hello Sweetheart, I just wanted to make sure you were still driving down tomorrow and ask how you are ?”

Crap. I forgot I was meant to be driving home tomorrow.

“Uh yeah, I’m still coming down. Also I’m good, how is everyone ?”

“Good apart from you brother, he got into a fight on his last day of school.”

“Mama, don’t go to hard on him you know he’s having a difficult time at the minute with Dad. I’ll talk to him when I get there.”

“Okay I won’t. Anyway I’m excited to meet this new boyfriend of yours.”

“Uh what are you talking about Mama ?”

“Well you promised you were going to bring your boyfriend home this year so that we could all meet him.”

Shit. When did I say that. Damn my mother for having a good memory at such an old age. What am I going to do ? I could say we broke up….but that would break her heart. Fine. She wants a boyfriend of mine, then she’ll get one.

“Yeah sorry Mama, it must of just flew past me just a moment ago. I’ve had a really long day at work and not much sleep.”

“Are you sure your okay to drive down ?”

“Yeah I'm sure. I gotta go Mama, I love you.”

“I love you, Sweetheart.”

I ended the phone call and stood there debating with myself where to find a boyfriend within the 19 hours before I have to leave. Bearing in mind, I still need to cater to my own needs first like sleep, food and most certainly hygiene. The problem is I can’t just go out on a date and invite him to my parents house. Preferably it needs to be someone that I already know and who doesn't have plans. I’m screwed. I know that everyone I know has plans for christmas. The only person that wasn’t was my boss, but that is in all ways wrong. Even if we have hooked up a couple of times. That’s it, if I promise to sleep with him hopefully he’ll do this for me. God forbid something goes wrong.

I walked back into Mikaelson Enterprises and passed Camille, the receptionist with a big fake smile. She’s hated me ever since she found out I got assistant to Klaus and not her but truthfully it’s because she’s too ditzy and clingy too Klaus, since she has the fattest crush on him but moving on. I got out the elevator, once it reached the top floor where Klaus was. I headed to his door and knocked.

“Come in.”

I opened the door and he looked up from his paperwork with a confused look on his face.

“I thought you’d left Miss Y/L/N.”

“Yeah I did, but my Mom called and reminded me about something. Which is actually why I’m here. Could you please please be my fake boyfriend for the week.”

He looked at me and chuckled. He stood up from his chair and leaned on the front of his desk, just in front of where I was seated.

“Your fake boyfriend for a week ? For what ?”

“Christmas.”

“Where ? Why ?”

“My hometown. Also it’s because my mom thinks I’m bringing home a boyfriend and she’s going to be so disappointed when I don’t bring anyone back.”

“What do I get out of it ?”

“What do you want ?”

“I want to take you out on an actual date afterwards.”

Woah this just went down an unexpected pathway.

“What ? You want to take me out ?”

“Is there a problem with that ?”

“No ! There’s no problem, unexpected is all.”

“Right okay then, I’ll arrive at yours with my belongings tomorrow morning at 9am.”

“Perfect. I’m leaving at 10am.”

I smiled at him and walked out, surprised by what had just happened. Nevertheless, I got home ate my dinner, showered and went to bed.

When I got up the next morning, I brushed my teeth got some coffee and put my bags in the car. Once I was ready I looked at the time, 8:59 am. I heard a knock on the door and thought it as weird that it could be Klaus since it had only just turned 9am. Weirdo. As soon as I opened the door, I led him to my car and drove off just after he had secured himself in.

______________________________________________________________

13 Hours Later

Luckily Klaus was asleep for the most of it, so I just listened to my music and drove. He woke up with around an hour left on the drive, so we actually had a nice normal conversation. As soon as I pulled up outside the house, my mom and dad were stood outside waiting for me. I got out the car and ran to my dad, who has his arms wide open for me. I jumped into his arms and he held me very tightly and kisses my head. I giggled when he spun me around.

“Hi Daddy, I missed you so much.”

“We all missed you so much more sweetheart.”

I pulled away from my dad and pulled my mom in for a tight hug.

“Hi Mama.”

“Welcome home baby ! Now where is he ?!”

“Oh right.”

I ran over to Klaus, grabbed his hand and quickly whispered in his ear.

“Follow my lead okay.”

He nodded and I held his hand and walked over towards them. We stopped in front of them and my mom couldn’t stop smiling, my dad however didn’t look massively impressed.

“Mom, Dad… this is Klaus Mikaelson. My boyfriend.”

“Mikaelson as in Mikael and Esther Mikaelson ?!”

I looked at my dad confused as he said that, how would he know his parents already when me and Klaus weren’t actually dating. I haven’t even met them and they are the owners of the company I work for.

“Uh yes sir.”

“Dad, how’d you know that ?”

“Me and Mikael don’t get along very well that’s all.”

“Right, well it’s Christmas Eve and it’s getting late already Y/N you’ve been driving so long, why don’t you and Klaus go and unpack in your room and then come down and see everyone to drink some hot cocoa and watch films.”

“Okay Mama.”

I took Klaus in and was immediately bombarded by my youngest niece, Skylar.

“Hey Sky, I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too Auntie Y/N, who is this ?”

“Sky, why don’t you give us 5 minutes and then I will come down and tell everyone okay ?”

“Okay Zia.”

I smiled at her, loving the fact she’s started to embrace her Italian side now than pushing it away.

“So that’s why I don’t understand you when your mad sometimes ?”

“What do you mean, Klaus ?”

“I mean, you speak Italian when you get mad.”

“Oh right, yeah I try not to but it’s just natural.”

“So your fluent ?”

“Oh yeah my whole family is, I was actually born in Italy but we moved here when I was 2 for my Dad’s work, since he used to work in the army.”

“That’s quite cool.”

“Thankyou.”

We headed to my room and I started to unpack until I saw him just standing at my door, not doing anything.

“You know you can unpack if you want, I’ll leave you 2 drawers. There’s not much room elsewhere in the house with everyone here. So your gonna have to stay with me.”

“Okay.”

When we finished unpacking, we headed downstairs so I could introduce everyone to Klaus and reunite with my family.

“Hey everybody !”

Everyone turned around with massive grins and I managed to get around and hug everyone.

“Before we go any further, everyone this is my boyfriend Klaus Mikaelson.”

“As in Elijah ?”

What the hell is with my family knowing everyone but him in his family.

“Okay wait, your the second person to mention another one of his family members. Who else knows any Mikaelsons ?”

Three of the eleven-excluding myself and Klaus- raised their hands. My younger sister, my father, my younger brother and my sister’s boyfriend. Eventually, we found out Camilla had slept with his older brother Elijah, my father we already knew had met his parents, Christian used to be friends with Klaus’ younger brother Kol and Blaine used to date Rebekah and while back.

We eventually got over that and sat down as it was late already to watch a film and drink hot cocoa, I felt bad about leaving Klaus isolated from everyone even if Skylar was fussing over him. So I sat next to him on the couch and put a blanket over us before the film started and Skylar relaxed on the other side of me, hugging my side.

Twenty minutes into the film, my nerves from sitting next to Klaus watching films and drinking hot cocoa with my family lessened and I relaxed a bit more. That was until, Klaus put his arm on the back of the sofa and I started to fall asleep-causing me to fall into his side. When my head hit his chest, my eyes opened immediately almost as if they never closed in the first place.

“Sorry, I’m so tired.”

He chuckled and rested his hand on the side of my head bringing it back to his chest.

“It’s fine, it’s what couples do…also you have been driving all day. If you fall asleep, I promise I will take you to bed.”

I looked into his eyes and smiled before I pushed the boundaries I had made in my head and wrapped my arm around his stomach. My fingers brushed against the warm skin on his stomach as his sweatshirt had rode up a bit. I blushed very much and I’m return I felt a chuckled vibrate on my cheeks and Klaus’ hand rest on my hip as my shirt had rode up a little too. I looked up at him and without even taking any thinking time his hand gently but quickly pulled my lips closer to his and pressed them against mine. We made out for a few minutes before pulling away.

“There’s nothing weirder than making out with your boss whilst my 9yr old niece is staring at us.”

We chuckled and looked at her and she immediately averted her eyes.

“I don’t care who’s watching, I’ve wanted to do that for years.”

“Seriously ? Why haven’t you ?”

“I can’t make a spectacle in the workplace.”

“Your such a twat, Thank You for doing this. Your making it hard for me to say no to that date you asked me on. Unless you promise me that is not the last time you kiss me like that because…wow.”

He chuckled and kissed me again. I can quite easily say that I do not regret lying to my mom for once in my life. If it wasn’t for me lying, I wouldn’t have got this opportunity.

MASTERLIST

#klaus mikaelson #klaus x reader #klaus mikealson x reader #the vampire diaries #the originals #christmas #december #countdown #italian #the originals imagines #to imagine #imagines #tvd imagine #the vampire diaries imagine

[addictedtomanga]

Shoujo manga recommendations - living together/neighbors

1.      Konyakusei 

Sachi Hanaoka has just lost her parents to a traffic accident and her fear of living alone becomes reality. To add on to her troubles, Kouichi Saonji, the young landlord of her apartment, approaches her and requests that she prepare to vacate since she is now be unable to pay rent. Alternatively, Kouichi proposes a solution: he and Sachi will get married and she will act as his caretaker. Not only will her expenses be covered, but it would also serve as a method to quell his family's nagging for him to find a wife. Despite the lack of genuine feelings between them, Sachi finds herself drawn to Kouichi and accepts his offer. But will the newly wed couple be able to fall in love, or will they remain strangers forever?

2.      Sugar Family 

Since Yuuka's mother died at an early age, Yuuka turned out to be the one taking care of her child-like father. Right before high school started, Yuuka's dad announced his remarriage with Satou Masami. Masami-san turned out to be a reliable, responsible person, so Yuuka finally thought she's off the hook. That is, until she finds out about her new older brother...

3.      Kyou mo Uchi de Machi Awase

After a fire, a middle-aged man meets a homeless single mother and her son at the convenience store. He is instantly reminded of someone he used to know over a decade ago. Could it be...?

4.      Kyoudai Gokko 

Growing up, Rio Takara has always wanted siblings. So when her parents decide to move overseas without her and tells her she will be living with two people around her age, she's cautiously optimistic. But they turn out to be brothers who fight like cats and dogs. Is this what having siblings is like?

5.      Kamiki Kyoudai Okotowari

Iroha was raised by her single mother, but when her mother remarries, they move in with her step-father and his 3 sons. To Iroha, this will be the first time she's living with men. What will happen to Iroha's new life!?

6.      Monokuro Shounen Shoujo 

Kureha Mimachi, a 15-year-old girl, has just transferred into Shiritsu Kenhono High School. However, there is something weird about this school, it is actually a school where the Princes and Princesses of the beast-kind go to...?! Even though Kureha is human, she is there as a way to help the students their lives peacefully with humans and has the role as the "rabbit". Will she be able survive without being eaten by the students...?!

7.      Mademoiselle Butterfly 

Our heroine is a girl who lives as a geisha in Japan. She has a male childhood friend who's always been kind to her and is her favorite. He's a painter, only he paints on human body parts, and she loves it when he paints beautiful butterflies on her arms. She goes to visit him one day and finds a naked woman lying in his room. Immediately after, she gets a customer who's rich and very interested in her. The thought of being away from her friend pains her, but is everything really too late?

8.      Mayonaka Lolita 

After she took some medicines, Michiryuu became suddenly a little girl. People used to say that she was really perfect. That's why she wants to came back to normal quickly. But the only condition if she wants that happen is to find "a personn she'll love". But that's completely impossible for her! So what will happen to Michiryuu...?

9.      Mayonaka ni Kiss 

Natori Nono is a very tough school-girl, she lives with her widowed mother Ayame and her younger brother Takumi in a very small apartment, where she does all the chores. Her boyfriend wants money from her, because he's really poor, too. But one day, Nono discovers that her mother remarried! She married Ichijou Hayato, the owner of the 'Ichijou Group'. Now, Nono lives there (in unaccustomed riches) with her mother, her brother, her stepfather AND her new stepbrother: Ichijou Kasuomi (his father calls him Omi-kun)!!! At first, Nono thinks Kasuomi is not nice. But what will happen next?

10.  Harem Lodge 

Midori lost her mother when she was young and now her father's gone too. But her dad left her with a surprise: a fiancé named Tetsuya. So now, Midori has to live in a good-looking men only apartment (Harem Lodge), which is actually filled with weirdos. What is going to happen to her? Well we just have to wait and see...

11.  Hyakujuu no ou ni Tsugu!

This is the liberated area where you listen to girls will, a girls high school! in this class, there's a king. Me, Yuka! My friends are counting on me and boys are afraid of me! But that kind of paradise will suddenly break up by a thirty-year old man!! dates will take place in golf areas and kisses will have the taste of smoke...

12.  Last Notes 

Haru and Aki are the masters of the branch store - an old-looking and very unusual shop. It sells only one thing: a special kind of incense that, when burned, allows the user to see and speak with the spirit of the dead person that appears in the smoke. Every customer has a different reason for calling up the dead, and how they use this unusual opportunity is up to them...

13.  Hapira Hajimaru 

Asai Sachi's luck has always been considered dreadful. After becoming the class president, she meets Kurono Hyougo, a guy with a frightful face who bears various gruesome rumours behind his back. Hyougo had been living alone in an apartment; but when Sachi mistakenly reveals that Hyougo is a minor, he had to be kicked out. Fortunately, Sachi's father is a realtor, and suggested to have Hyougo live in their unused detached house. Would Sachi's bad luck turn upside down upon meeting Hyougo?

14.  Hana o Meshimase

After Shion's mother passed away, she was left with her father who loves to gamble and evade his responsibilities as a father. Due to that continuous pattern, Shion moves in to live as a live-in employee with 25-years-old florist Shun Mamyuuda. As she begins to learn the value of flowers and life, will she also find her place in love?

15.  Good Morning Call 

Nao Yoshikawa stays behind to live by herself when her parents leave to inherit her grandpa's farm in the country. On the day she moves into her new apartment she soon discovers that it was rented also to Hisashi Uehara—a cute, super-cool and popular guy from her school. Not only did their housing agency unexpectedly close down, the landlord of the apartment tells them that they had to pay more for their apartment then they had expected. With both no money and no home to return to, Nao and Hisashi decide to live together as flatmates.

16.  Nanako Robin 

Yoshino Nako has a saying. "If I'm happy, I can do anything!" In her sister's place, Nako-chan steals the groom of an arranged (political) marriage and helps them elope. But when the Hayami group starts failing, she must pay the consequence by housing the delinquent brother...

17.  Momo Raba 

Chieri (Cherry) was living an ordinary life, until her sister Ichigo (Strawberry) suddenly left her child Momo (Peach) on Chieri's doorstep. Momo is an infant; how is Chieri supposed to take care of a baby while still in high school!? To make matters even more frustrating, two guys are fighting for Chieri's love...!

18.  Men’s Life 

Mio's life is changed in a big way due to an encounter with Rin, an upperclassman who is one-year-older, and...!?

19.  Tonari wa Nani o Kuu Hito zo 

Inaba Suzuna is trying her best to make a campus debut and to have many friends in Tokyo. Until she realized that she miserably fails at living alone. Fortunately, her neighbor, Seto, comes and saves her from dying of starvation. Bright campus life is still far away for Suzuna, but at least, she has a very dependable neighbor!

20.  Yumemiru Taiyou

While loitering in the park, Shimana Kameko, who intended to run away from home and skip school, meets a suspicious man in a kimono. This man, who had been locked out of his house, offers Shimana a place to stay. However, he requests she fulfill three conditions in exchange for her tenancy!?

21.  Taiyou no Ie 

After her mother abandoned her and her father remarried, high schooler Mao Motomiya is left feeling like she doesn't have a place where she belongs. One night, her childhood friend Hiro Nakamura finds her in a shrine eating cheap convenience store food and offers to take her to a restaurant. Their subsequent heart to heart leads to Hiro suggesting that Mao move in with him. To Hiro who has lived apart from his younger siblings all these years after their parents passed away, bringing his family back together in the once-lively Nakamura home begins with the first step of giving Mao a loving place to belong. When Mao reluctantly accepts his invitation, she is surprised at how easy it is to settle in with her longtime friend. Now she must deal not only with mending her relationship with her father and helping the oldest Nakamura brother attain his goal, but also her growing feelings for Hiro.

22.  Tsubaki-chou Lonely Planet 

Oono Fumi is a poor second year high school student. Because of her father's debts, she's kicked out of her own home and has to rely on her own connections to survive. Thus begins her life as a live-in housekeeper for a reclusive writer...

23.  Faster than a kiss

Losing their parents, Fumino and her brother hop from one relative to another. Getting tired of all those movings, she finally decides to quit school and work to support her brother on her own. As they sat on a park bench, her teacher appears in front of her and agrees to her demanding of marrying and supporting both her and her brother!! Is he serious or just playing around...!?

24.  Kiss/Hug 

Ryuu, a super-business-like transfer student from England with black hair and blue eyes just arrived! During the night of the Tanabata festival, Ryuu and Yukino became attracted to each other at first sight. He then declares, "You will be mine!" This brought confusion to Yukino, who has zero experience in love. But could she actually be falling in love?

25.  Kanna to Decchi 

Our heroine Kanna is the daughter of the famous builder in town. One day a boy with a hammer appears to train under Kanna's father?! The heart pounding love story of a handsome apprentice carpenter.

26.  Sabaku no Harem 

Mishe a strong willed girl raised from poverty has caught Prince Kallum's attention. Attention as in, "you will become one of my concubines," thus begins Mishe's adventures into Prince Kallum's world.

#manga #shoujo #romance #living together #neighbors #cohabitation #sugar family #kyou mo uchi de machi awase #kamiki kyoudai okotowari #monokuro shounen shoujo #mademoiselle butterfly #mayonaka lolita #mayonaka ni kiss #harem lodge #hyakujuu no ou ni tsugu #last notes #hapira hajimaru #hana wo meshimase #good morning call #nanako robin #mens life #tonari wa nani o kuu hito zo #yumemiru taiyou #taiyou no ie #tsubaki chou lonely planet #faster than a kiss #kiss hug #kanna to decchi #sabaku no harem #momo raba

[malkaviansyndromes]

i was inspired by quimton so i did the 93 question meme for lestat :)

1. What is their gender? male, but like, gay rat male

2. What is their sexuality? men

3. What is the meaning behind their name? Do they have any nicknames? it’s from iwtv, which he never read, he was an edgy goth weirdo and thought it sounded cool. erin calls him a rat but he doesn't have any actual nicknames

4. Do they have any siblings? How many? Are they older or younger?  Which sibling are they the closest with? he doesn't have any siblings but will try to adopt younger friends as "siblings" 5. What’s their relationship with their parents like? What about other relatives? when he was alive his relationship with his dad was...Not great. aside from his mom he didn't talk to his family. his sire is dead lol

6. What would they give their life for? his friends or husband probably, if it had to be anything

7. Are they in a romantic relationship? With who? How did they meet? yes! he's in a relationship with märchen and has been for a while; mär found him shortly after his embrace and made sure he was accepted into the camarilla rather than getting axed for being an illegitimate fledgling.

8. What do they believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them? he has no idea and doesn't really want to think about it

9. What is their favorite color? Favorite animal? probably some sort of hideous tie between black and pastel pink. he likes cats

10. What are some of their talents/skills? he can draw, and also has a decent head for computer science and math

11. If they could make a mark on history, what would they like it to be? he would want to either be part of some massive political change to keep people from suffering, or solve the problem of quantum gravity

12. How old are they? When is their birthday? 23! he was born on march 5th

13. What do they do for fun? video games. eat a bunch. annoy his friends. he's a simple man

14. What is their favorite food? How often do they get to eat it? cheeseburgers...his husband lets him eat food any time he wants even though it's disgusting and bad for him since he's a vampire

15. What was something their parents taught them? nothing really specific beyond to be the terrible way he is now

16. Are they religious? sort of?

17. Where were they born? illinois unfortunately

18. What languages can they speak? Where did they learn these languages? english is his native language. he took french in high school and lost most of it, and has tried to pick up a little german from his husband and online. he knows a pitiful amount of japanese but only out loud, surprisingly not from anime so much as listening to tons of japanese music with subs

19. What is their occupation? idiot. he does odd jobs for the anarchs and helps with their computer shit sometimes

20. Do they have any titles? How did they earn them? nope

Personality: 21. What is their favorite thing about their personality? that he cares about shit

22. What is their least favorite thing about their personality? he has bad self esteem so a lot of things

23. Do they get lonely easily? YES but he's also a bit of a hermit socially

24. Do you know their MBTI type? no i used to

25. What is their biggest flaw? probably having a bad temper and making snap judgements

26. Are they aware of their flaws? So Much All The Time

27. What is their biggest strength? he's pretty empathetic

28. Are they aware of their strengths? he denies they exist

29. How would they describe their own personality? "awful little animal"

30. When frightened, will they resort to “fight” or “flight”? freeze probably, but flight if that doesn't count as an answer

31. Does this character ever put somebody else’s needs before their own? Who do they do this for? How often do they do this? yes, for pretty much anyone he likes even a little, and very very frequently

32. What is their self esteem like? BAD

33. What is their biggest fear? How would they react to having to face it? losing the people he cares about. he would Give Up On Life if he was alone

34. How easily do they trust others with their secrets? With their lives? weird little guy who is extremely paranoid but simultaneously too trusting. he tries to ignore his misgivings to give people the benefit of the doubt, doesn't always end well for him

35. What is the easiest way to annoy them? don't listen to anything he says. if he's being ignored in a conversation he will be furious

36. What is their sense of humor like? Give an example of a joke they would find humorous. "penis music," basically any joke about communism, horribly deep fried memes

37. How easy is it for them to say “I love you”? Do they say it without meaning it? he says it easily and a often, but not without meaning it unless he wants to feel guilty enough to vomit

38. What do others admire most about their personality? erin says "his friendly personality and jokes and level head when it comes to important things"

39. What does their happily ever after look like? having a normal life without being afraid of poverty or being alone

40. Who do they trust most? Is that trust mutual? probably erin and märchen, so yes

Physical Profile: 41. What does their laugh sound like? Do they snort when they laugh? How often do they laugh? he cackles like an awful little witch every once in a while

42. What is their favorite thing about their physical appearance? his anime heterochromia

43. What is their least favorite thing about their physical appearance? looking like he's 12

44. Do they have any scars? If so, what are the stories behind those scars? he has a scar on his eyebrow from when he was 2 and tried to climb a bookshelf and it fell on him and he had to get stitches. also....some less funny ones

45. How would they describe their own appearance? "bad" or “sexy” no in between

46. How easily can they express emotions? How easily can they hide emotions? he can express them well but hates to do it. he is way too good at hiding them

47.  What’s their pain tolerance like? he's a little wimpy but trudges through it

48. Do they have any tattoos? What are the stories behind those tattoos? no tats!

49. Do they have any piercings? just his ears

50. How would you describe their style of clothing? How would they describe their style of clothing? we would both call it "hot topic dumpster dive"

51. What is their height? Weight? 5'0", haha that's secret

52. What is their body type? Are they muscular, chubby, skinny, etc? a little round and chubby

53. What is their hair color? Eye color? Skin tone? his hair is actually a light golden brown but he dyes it black. his eyes are grey-blue (he doesn't always like the color) but one of them is red now due to damage during his embrace. he's pale as fuck

54. What is their current hairstyle? What have been some of their past hairstyles? Which was their favorite hairstyle? current hairstyle is a very short half-buzzed kind of thing, which he likes best. he's also had it normal short. up until he was like 16 or 17 he had it very long

55. What is their alcohol tolerance like? What kind of drunk are they? How bad are their hangovers? PITIFUL, he's an extreme lightweight. cuddly drunk or sad drunk. his threshhold for hangovers is high but they're abysmal when he gets them

56. What do they smell like? Why do they smell like this? (Is it the things they’re around or a perfume they wear?) he smells like cheap soap and cigarette smoke thanks to being in the last round often. sometimes he wears body sprays

57. How do they feel about sex? Are they a virgin? a lot of complicated ways. unfortunately he has had sex and will do it again

58. What is their most noticeable physical attribute? his height, he's VERY short

59. What does their resting face look like? Do they have RBF? he has just a little bit of RBF but mostly neutral

60. Describe the way they sleep. he steals all the blankets and is a sleep cuddler. he refuses to put his nine fucking thousand stuffed animals anywhere but ON his bed

Environment: 61. Which season is their favorite season? he says summer up until it's actually summer. he likes spring and fall

62. Have they ever been betrayed? How did it affect their ability to trust others? yeah, he's had some complicated experiences with friends and family. he isn't always trusting but usually consciously decides to trust anyway because he generally thinks it's irrational not to without a reason. this often backfires on him

63. What is always guaranteed to make them smile? his friends or husband cracking jokes

64. Do they get cold easily? Do they get overheated easily? yes and yes, at least when he was alive. he had reynaud's syndrome when he was alive so he got dangerously cold in his hands and feet Very easily

65. What’s their immune system like? Do they get sick often? How do they react to getting sick? he's dead now so he doesn't get sick at all, but when he was alive he would generally try to plod through it until he couldn't anymore

66. Where do they live? Do they like it there? los angeles. sort of? big cities are exciting to him, but only to visit, so living in one 24/7 is probably driving him crazy (or crazier)

67. Is their bedroom messy? What about their bathroom? Kitchen? Living room? he tries to keep things a LITTLE tidy but generally every space he maintains on his own is some level of disastrously disorganized

68. How did their environment growing up affect their personality? his parents were broke, so in terms of environment, being anywhere much swankier than a lower middle class house makes his eyes fall out of his head

69. How did the people in their environment growing up affect their personality? he was raised to tough it out and show as little emotion as possible in regards to All Life which is the real reason he treats absolutely everything like a joke

70. How do they feel about animals? Do they have any pets? he loves animals. his husband has a ghoul cat that violently hates both of them

71. How are they with children? Do they have any? Do they want any? he's okay with them, but a little awkward. he would rather jump off a cliff than have any though

72.  Would they rather have stability or comfort? he'd rather have somewhere to turn to than live in a stable environment if the stability was along the lines of "everything is consistently uncomfortable"? i don't really get this question lol

73. Do they prefer the indoors or outdoors? indoors a little but he does still like the outdoors

74. What weather is their favorite? Do they like storms? very sunny weather (sad for a vampire). he does like snow and rain, but only if he can stay in

75. If given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen? he'd probably draw his husband lol

76. How organized are they? he has never been and will never be anything even remotely close to organized

77. What is their most prized possession? the teddy bear his mother passed down to him from when she was a kid

78. Who do they consider to be their best friend? erin :3

79. What is their economic situation? not great. he's very broke; his husband has a little more money than he does and helps support him, but the two of them have to watch their pennies for sure. lestat usually lives with his husband but stays at his own abysmal apartment/haven on occasion just for vampire paranoia safety reasons.

80. Are they a morning person or a night owl? night owl, which is lucky for him

Miscellaneous: 81. Are they bothered by the sight of blood? not blood on its own, no

82. What is their handwriting like? extremely messy

83. Can they swim? How well? Do they like to swim? he can swim okay. he really likes it

84. Which deadly sin do they represent best? wrath probably

85. Do they believe in ghosts? he would have to be stupid not to at this point

86. How do they celebrate holidays? How do they celebrate birthdays? with food, usually, which makes his being a vampire kind of difficult. he likes to celebrate birthdays with presents and cake. if he and his husband weren't vampires he'd bake mär a cake every year

87. What is something they regret? probably the way he acted when he was in the camarilla, it wasn't particularly pretty because he was very, VERY upset about his embrace. he regrets having to have killed people to escape, and also regrets the weirdness of having to let go of most of his mortal friends

88. Do they have an accent? if you consider boring midwestern nothing voice an accent. 89. What is their D&D alignment?

chaotic good 90. Are they right or left handed? right handed

91. If they were a tweet, what tweet would they be? there are so many tweets in the world. probably the one about revving your motorcycle and lying dead on the pavement

92. Describe them as a John Mulaney gif. why would you assume i have enough of these on hand to do that?

93. What’s the most iconic line of dialogue they’ve ever said? he says stupid shit all the time it's hard to know

#ask to tag? i don't think it gets too heavy

[sephiratales]

oc interview

I got tagged by @gugle1980, thank you so much <3

Eso queens

1. What is your name?

Drachan-Karr : Drachan-Karr

Elvi : Elvi the Tiny

Ver’drani : Ver’drani

Liv : Liv Steelmaiden

2. What is your real name?

D: Good question, I don’t know if my parents gave me another name

E: Elviranen

V (crosses arms): Ver’drani

L: Liv is my real name.

3. Do you know why you were called that?

D : No and I don’t really care.

E : My parents told me the Green whispered them this name.

V (frowns her eyebrows and does not answer)

L: My mother chose my name to honor a great warrior

4. Are you single or taken?

D: It’s private!

E: I’m not interested in that

D (elbowing Elvi): But there are rumors about a certain blond and beautiful elf queen...

E: It’s only because people want to hear a tragic and impossible love story between a tiny bosmer and a queen. Ayrenn is my friend and we’re both happy with this.

V (muttering): Single...

L: So between Seryn and you...

V: Yes...

E: I’m sorry Ver’drani.

V: And you Liv?

L: I’d like to say taken but... *sighs*

5. Have any abilities or powers?

D: I’m a dragon-knight, so I can immobilise and set fire to the enemy.

E: I have healing magic and also a bit of ice magic to protect myself *claps hands* oh and I can invoke Nanu ! Look at him !

*Elvi invokes a huge brown bear. The interviewer screams, the rest laughs*

E: He is nice if you’re nice with us. *smiles*

V : I have the ability to kill you in a second if you dare to annoy us with your questions.

E : Ver’drani, you should not say such things.

V: It’s just an answer.

L: I’m a templar, I can throw light spears and burn enemy with a sacred light.

6. Stop being a Mary Sue

D: Do anyone of you know what it means?

E, V, L : No

7. What’s your eye colour?

D: Black

E: Golden brown

V : Red

L : Green

8. How about your hair colour?

D: Black

E: Reddish brown !

V: White

L : Dark red

9. Have you any family members?

D: No

E: My parents!

V: My mother is still alive, I have two brothers.

L: My father, my two older sisters and my younger brother.

10. Oh? What about pets?

E: I have Nanu! *pets the bear* Oh you like the scratch on your head, yeah my little buddy!

*The others laughs*

D: We also have another pet, Liv’s dog : Brutus.

*The dog appears, hearing his name. He is a big black mastiff*

L: He is from Morthal, he was so cute and little when I saw him playing with a woodstick bigger than him.

V: I can’t imagine him to be small... *Brutus heads towards her, asking to be pet* Yeah, you’re a big boy now.

11. That’s   cool   I guess, now tell me about something you don’t like.

All : Molag-Bal !

12. Do you have any hobbies/activities you like doing?  

D: Spending time together around a fire or in a tavern.

E: Drachan and I, we often cook together, with the ingredients Ver’drani and Liv brought us.

L: We also like to talk while we are sparring or training.

V: So it’s not very efficient training. But we also have our own activities, Liv reads a lot, I meditate, Elvi wanders to take care of all the green she sees and Drachan likes to sing, it’s very beautiful and calming.

D: Really?

V*blushes*: Yeah...

13. Ever hurt anyone before?

D: What a question, yes.

14. Ever… killed anyone before?

L: Yes.

15. What kind of animal are you?

D: A dragon apparently.

E: Hm... Bosmer are animals?

V: No, that’s just what stupid people say about the bosmers. Don’t mind them. You’re a beautiful nyxade, tiny and circling around us.

E: And you’re a snake and Liv is a bear!

L: Why not. So I can hibernate during winter, fine for me.

V: A snake...

16. Name your worst habits.

D: I swear.

E: I’m clumsy.

V: I watch people with deadly eyes.

L: I punch people and things

17. Do you look up to anyone at all?

D: No...

E: Drachan, you don’t know how to lie!

D: Oh shut up!

V: I just broke up, so not really.

L: Yeah...maybe?

V: Maybe? It’s more than a maybe with you. Though, I’m not sure he will catch the hint, he may know...*Liv put her hand on Ver’drani’s mouth*

L: Sssh !

18. Gay, straight, or bisexual?

E: Don’t caaaare !

L: Straight

V: Lesbian

D: Lesbian

V: Really? I did not... *blushes* Oh nevermind

E: Are you... Ouch, don’t pinch me !

19. Do you go to school?

L: No, my mother gave me lessons at home.

D: School of life is enough for me

E: Yes

V: No, Ashlanders don’t have school. At last, not like you mean it.

20. Do you ever want to marry and have kids one day?

E: No

D: Maybe, if I find the right person.

V: Same for me

L: No.

21. Do you have any fanboys/fangirls?

L: My niece and nephew. My sister always read them my letters, only the adventure parts. I can’t wait to see them again.

V: We have a bunch of weirdo who honor us because we defeated Molag-Bal.

22. What are you most 😨 of?

D: I’m not very fond of Aelyid ruins.

E: Spiders

V: Lich

L: I’d rather not to talk about it

23. What do you usually wear?

V: Why do you need to ask? We wear clothes, stupid.

24. Do you 💛 someone?

E: I love everyone !

D: It’s more a potential crush.

V *deadly eyes to the interviewer*

L: Yes, I think so...

25. When was the last time you wet yourself?

V : Can I kill him? He annoys me?

D: No, we promised, Ver’drani, you promised.

V *grumbles*

26. Well, it’s not over yet!

V *takes a bottle and empties it* : By Vivec’s booty!

27. What class are you? (High class, middle class, low class )

E: Liv says we’re the kicking ass class!

28. How many friends do you have?

L: The number does not matter as long as you can trust them.

29. What are your thoughts on pie?

L: I must admit Drachan makes the best pie in the world.

D: Thank you.

30. Favourite drink?

L: Mead!

V: As long as it burns

E: Tea

D: Beer

31. What’s your favourite place?

D: Our house in Mathiisen

*The others agree*

32. Are you interested in someone?

E: No!

D: Maybe

V: ...

L: Yes

33. What’s your bra cup size and/or how big is your willy?

V: Are you sure I can’t kill him?

L: Yes.

34. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

D: Lake, sea serpents are aweful.

V: Lake is not always better.

L: A sauna, you should try ladies.

35. What’s your type?

V: Not sure for me, but I can say someone here is interested in tall white-haired dunmer with a mechanical arm...

L *grinning her teeth* : I will kill you, I swear.

V: I love you too.

D: I can understand her on Dunmer.

36. Any fetishes?

V: Go...

L: Don’t you dare!

V *laughs*

37. Seme or uke? Top or Bottom? Dominant or Submissive?

D: I’m gonna let Ver’drani kill you if you continue with these kind of question.

E: Yeaaah, it means meaaat!

V: As long as you don’t put him in our meal, you can do what you want with his body.

38. Camping or indoors?

L: Camping

E: But being indoors in our home is nice too.

D: Camping in the court of our home.

39. Are you wanting the interview to end?

V: YES!

40. Now it’s over!

V: Finally! Never again.

*She leaves without a sound, disappearing in the shadows*

E: Ver’drani, wait for me! You forgot you bag!

*Drachan-Karr and Liv stand up and shake the hand of the interviewer*

D: Sorry, they’re a bit rude. I hope we did not frighten you too much. Have a nice day.

L: Goodbye.

Sorry it was long =)

I tag @jonhseed, @fantasmagoriam, @uriellactaea and @pixiedurango

#tagged stuff #my ocs #Drachan-Karr #Elvi the Tiny #Liv Steelmaiden #Ver'drani #eso queens

[dingoes8myrp]

Random Survey

Found here: @question-meme​

1. Name one of your favourite characters: Ellen Ripley (Alien). I would argue she’s the model for every strong female hero that came after her in cinema (or one of them. Jamie Lee Curtis’s Laurie Strode and Linda Hamilton’s Sarah Connor get honorable mentions). 2. Name one of your favourite villains: Glory (Buffy the Vampire Slayer). She really gave Buffy a run for her money, and in my opinion, she was an impossible villain to follow up. She was also an interesting foil to Buffy herself. Glory was powerful, put in a position she didn’t want to be in, and all she wanted was for things to get back to normal. She had an appreciation for fashion, kicking ass in style at all times. Her superficial attitude and quippy humor greatly resembled Buffy’s pre-calling personality. Glory was definitely a tough act to follow. Honorable mentions: Lucifer in Supernatural: 5.05 - “The End,” Paul Spector in The Fall, The werewolf in Silver Bullet. 3. One actor that you look up to and why: Keanu Reeves. Talented actor, badass, and from all accounts a very kind soul. 4. One actress that you look up to and why: Nicole Kidman. She’s intelligent, talented, and elegant. 5. Favourite episode from any show you watch (or just an episode you love): From a show I currently watch, Supernatural: 12.11 - “Regarding Dean.” This was a very good use of the supernatural as a metaphor, and Jensen Ackles delivered a heartbreaking performance of a man slowly succumbing to memory loss. From any show ever: One Tree Hill: 8.01 - “Asleep at Heaven’s Gate.” This show wasn’t afraid to experiment and throw in a risky episode here and there. This episode was not only well written, but beautifully acted and it delivered a jaw-dropping twist. This was one of those episodes that hopped genres, but did it so seamlessly I never noticed. 6. Favourite show and why? Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It was the first world I got lost in. I fell in love with the characters and the universe. I still am. 7. If you could live in any fictional universe which one would you live in? Harry Potter. I wanna go to Hogwarts. 8. Name 3 OTPs: Nathan and Haley (One Tree Hill), Buffy and Angel (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Rory and Jess (Gilmore Girls). 9. One character you have a crush on: Oz (Buffy the Vampire Slayer). Honorable mentions: Derek Morgan (Criminal Minds), Charles Gunn (Angel the Series), Rick Grimes (The Walking Dead), Asa Farrell (Outsiders). 10. One of your favourite fandoms to be in and why: Outsiders. They’re such a dedicated, enthusiastic group, and I’ve never had anyone be unkind to me in that fandom. 11. Describe (insert show here) in three words: Penny Dreadful: Gothic, scary, sexy. 12. Favourite book: Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice. Honorable mentions: The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. 13. One band that you love: Just one? Damn. Fleetwood Mac. My honorable mentions would be a mile long here, so I won’t do that to you, gentle reader. 14. Favourite cast: Friends. 15. If you were a fictional character in (insert show here) what would you probably be doing and what life do you think you would have? Angel the Series: I’d end up in Fred’s shoes. It’s totally me to open up a book, read from it aloud, and end up opening a portal to some ooky dimension. 16. Who do you think is a misunderstood character? Faith (Buffy the Vampire Slayer). She was a young woman in pain who didn’t get the help she needed. Then she made a mistake that condemned her but would not have condemned Buffy due to their differing histories/reputations. Sure, the murder spree was a bit much, but she could have been helped long before that if someone had just asked a few important questions. Like, maybe Giles. You know, the resident guy who’s supposed to watch the slayers. I’m not saying she’s blameless, but misunderstood for sure. 17. Which character do you wish you were siblings/best friends/dating with? Siblings: Rory Gilmore (Gilmore Girls), Best friends: Xander Harris (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Dating: Nathan Scott (One Tree Hill). 18. Which Hogwarts house are you in? I’ve gotten both Slytherin and Griffindor. It must depend on my mood. 19. What are three things you've learned from one of the shows you watch? From Stranger Things: 1) Friends don’t lie, 2) It’s never a bad time to add a new member to your party, 3) Never give up on the people you love, even when they’re lost in some weirdo alternate universe and everyone thinks they’re dead. 20. If you could be a writer for any show you wish, how might you develop the plot/characters? It would definitely depend on the show. I’d love to take a crack at Carnivale making it slightly more accessible as far as the lore went. 21. What's one of your favourite quotes from a show you watch? “I like the quiet.” Xander, Buffy the Vampire Slayer 22. Favourite type of AU? The kind featuring doppelgangers of beloved characters in the ultimate “what if” scenario.  23. Write a brief headcanon for one of your OTPs: Buffy and Angel (Buffy the Vampire Slayer). Buffy is in her forties and has somewhat retired from active slaying, becoming more of a trainer and counselor for slayers and watchers. Angel becomes human. Suddenly Buffy’s a cougar dating a younger man and they have all kinds of jokes. Angel secretly loves being able to joke with her about how she’s getting older because it means she’s having a long and happy life, which she once thought would be impossible. Buffy has no idea this is why he jokes with her about it and gets super annoyed with him (“I’m NOT old! Hello? Which one of us has had a bicentennial again?”). 24. What's one show you don't watch but you're still in the fandom? Game of Thrones. I try once in a while to read the books. 25. Why do you love the shows you watch/books you read/fandoms you're in? All for different reasons. I like universes with rich settings or lore that I can study and sink my teeth into. I like well developed characters I can invest my time in. I like fandoms where we can debate our different theories and opinions without being lashed out at (which is a rare find nowadays).

#dingoasks #buffy the vampire slayer #angel the series #supernatural #carnivale #penny dreadful #one tree hill #friends #aliens #nicole kidman #keanu reeve #stranger things #gilmore girls #i'm sure i'm forgetting something

[nanyoky]

(oc questions - all - for the Mercys?)

You got it toots!

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

Maxine Elizabeth and Leopold. Old family names.

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

For the residents of the house, The Mercys is very much a title that’s used more often than either of their given names. Even in school their classmates probably referred to them together a lot of the time.

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? 

Not many good childhood memories outside of each other and Charlie. Both have mixed and complicated feelings about parents. ((spoilers!!! no one cares nell this isn’t a real movie)) Leo doesn’t remember much of his biological dad except things were Not Good. Max remembers her mother, but mostly remembers her being sick and being scared at hospitals and such. Their best memories are the two of them with Charlie. They could sometimes be alone with her for days at a time and it was the most peaceful time they ever had.

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents? 

Not Good ™. On all counts. The exact details of the family backgrounds would ultimately depend partially on casting, but the ones I’ve toyed with most have been: Dirk is the old fashioned sort to expect his wife to care for children and for him to pat them on the head occasionally and pay for their upkeep. That never worked out so well, since Max’s mother got sick when Max was very young, then after she was gone, he was alone, then Marlene and Max did NOT get along from day one. So his and Max’s relationship was always distant and begrudging and strained. Then Marlene I’ve sort of pictured as an immigrant from somewhere- coming to the US with her first husband, then leaving him and marrying Dirk. She saw this as a lateral move at the time, but had a rude awakening upon finding that everyone in her new country sees her as an “exotic” trophy wife (she bleaches her hair but still has a strong “foreign sounding” accent). With her first husband, she was distant due to a toxic relationship and Leo didn’t receive a lot of attention. Then Marlene starting taking barbiturates and nothing ever improved. Sometimes, she would occasionally try to strike up a closer relationship with Leo, but her efforts never lasted long so he learned not to get his hopes up.

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

Their relationship with Charlie is an odd mix of siblings and parents/child. The age gap wasn’t enough for them truly to act as parents, but the older they got, the more they felt responsible for her. Charlie always idolized and trusted them unlike anyone else and they had an enormous sense of responsibility to live up to this. So, naturally, they have always viewed her death as their own failure more than Dirk or Marlene’s.

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

Both of them were not exactly anti-social during school, but had only small circles of friends that shifted and changed gradually as they aged. They had kind of a reputation for being “stuck up” because everyone knew they had money, but they didn’t know much else about them. Were actually pretty normal, if a little reserved from a lot of social neglect early in life. They dropped out after Charlie died and Dirk and Marlene left and never finished high school. Both were average students. Max was that kid who had a different book with them every day. Leo didn’t pay enough attention to be a good student, but he was always a good writer and pretty logical, so he got by.

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? 

They always had a few friends, but none were lasting. After Charlie’s death, they deliberately cut ties with everyone they knew and moved around for a few years before returning to Duluth. None of their school friends would likely recognize them now.

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals? 

The Mercys have always had a cat or two. They’ve had Katherine for a couple of years now. It’s good for them to have something outside themselves to care about and look after.

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals? 

Both of the Mercys are pretty good with animals as they are usually pretty calm and affectionate with them.

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

They are both very good with children, though they have actively avoided them since Charlie’s death. Their thoughts on the possibility of parenthood are…. complicated. When they were younger, the idea was terrifying- because of what it would mean for them. Teen pregnancy freaks a lot of people out, but they were next level paranoid. Then, after Charlie, they couldn’t bear to think about it for a long time. Gradually though, they both started to consider the idea. Part of them wants to, in a way, recreate the “family” they had with Charlie, but the idea would mean considering a child to be her replacement. Which they fully realize is fucked up. So… they sort of want a kid, but don’t want to open that emotional can of worms without some delayed grieving they really don’t have the energy for.

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

They have both cut out red meat since their teens.

12. What is their favourite food? 

Max loves wild rice soup and it’s the only thing she knows how to make from scratch. Leo loves going to late night diners for waffles.

13. What is their least favourite food?

The smell of ham makes Leo gag and Max hates potato salad

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

They remember everything they ate the day Charlie disappeared. Max had the last of the cheerios for breakfast, so Leo had to make oatmeal. They had school lunch of chicken and gravy. Then they got takeout for dinner on the way home- eggrolls and lo mein from Taste of Saigon in Canal Park. They got an odd number of eggrolls and rock paper scissor-ed for the last one. Max won, but they ended up splitting it.

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

Nope. Thus plot and Autumn. They tried to cook between the hired chefs, but meals were absolutely heinous in those times because Anabelle used their bad cooking as just another excuse to criticize them. Mina tried as well but didn’t have any better results.

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it? 

Since they were became homeless as teens, Leo’s become sort of a packrat. He’s that guy that saves everything “just in case” he might need it or make it into something useful later. Max has to regularly go through all their stuff and throw out the real garbage he saves.

Max has an extensive collection of boots- since shoes are the one article of clothing they really can’t share. She also has like- twenty different silk and satin fancy slips and negligees but if you tell anyone you’re dead.

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

No on all counts. Aside from drivers licences (expired now), no pictures probably exist of them past age 14.

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

Max is an epic adventure reader. LOTR, Dumas, you name it. Leo likes more modern lit. Realistic fantasy/scifi- David Mitchell and the like. Max loves classic films- cinema icons from 60s or earlier (their cat Katherine is for Katherine Hepburn). Leo is a total weirdo who is obsessed with live action/animation mashups. Who Framed Roger Rabbit is his alltime fave. They don’t watch a ton of tv, but when they do, it’s something weird like Pushing Daisies or something tame like National Geographic.

19. What’s their least favourite genres?

They really can’t handle any of Charlie’s favorite movies anymore.

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

Not much for musicals. They listen to music in the yardhouse or while they’re working out in the stables or garage. Both very much into the classics as far as rock and some old country (cash and williams and the like) but Leo also likes indie alternative rock.

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

Max has a quicker temper- or rather, gets angry more easily. Any little comment from Anabelle sets her seething and in a bad mood for hours. It takes a lot more to set Leo off, but he goes from 0 to FIGHT ME in no time at all. ((See: Mr. Thackary mentioning his mom))

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

Definitely “if i insult you to your face, it means we’re friends, but i can’t say it if I mean it because then it’s awkward” people. Will call each other and Autumn names all the time. Pretty generic and mild for the most part. “Dumbass” and “Bastard” and the like. Mina is a weird one because they know that’s not how she operates so they don’t want to upset her, but also she can tell they joke around with Autumn that way, so she feels a little left out. They try more gentle ribbing just to make her feel better.

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

Max has a terrible memory and Leo has a good one. Drives Max crazy if they ever have an argument about something that happened more than a few days ago.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

Both of them are huge babies about having a soft mattress and lots of pillows. Even in their own bed, they both have trouble sleeping sometimes. Sadly enough, it’s the good dreams that keep them awake- dreams they have Charlie back and everything is fine again. 

Leo sleeps on his back and if he’s alone- STARFISH. But when Max is there more floppy easy cuddles. Max, on the other hand, is nothing but knees and elbows in her sleep and it is a Problem.

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

Both the Mercys have a pretty dark sense of humor at times. Leo can be markedly darker, but also sillier in his humor, whereas max is more dry.

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions? 

Both usually get more comfortable and friendly with others when they’re in a good mood. If it’s just the two of them, they’re just stupid affectionate and playful. Lots of snuggles and movies and snacks and giggling like kids.

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

They are sad most of the time. Max only cries when she wakes up from a dream about Charlie- Leo hasn’t cried since Charlie’s death. Max would probably fight anyone who saw her cry.

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Losing one another is definitely their biggest fear now. Max tends to sort of freeze up when afraid, while Leo usually takes action in the moment, then freezes up when he pauses to think to hard about his fears.

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective? 

It depends on who that person is. But they have very strong protective tendencies, so they would have to REALLY hate someone to mock or use someone else’s fear.

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

They stay pretty active for work, but they would never “work out” for the sake of it. They’re both pretty strong, but don’t do much in the way of cardio.

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

Ahhh yup. The drunk scene with Autumn is a regular occurrence if they can’t sleep or want to celebrate something. Max is more cheerful when drunk and definitely very snuggly. Huge affectionate drunk. Fun Fact: Leo getting overheated and taking off his jeans in that scene is 100% based on one of my roommates at university. When she drank, she would always complain about how hot it was and strip down to her underwear. Sometimes her head would get stuck in her shirt. So that’s drunk Leo. Max being an affectionate drunk and Leo taking his clothes off drunk means there is a lot of giggly clumsy drunk sex in the yardhouse and it is very stupidcute. They’re both pretty standard hung over- grumpy and slow. When Autumn or Mina drink without them, they go full on mom friend.

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

The Mercys share the same wardrobe (aside from undies and shoes). They have picked up a collection of layers from thriftshops and such throughout the years. Max’s checkplaid coat is a prized possession. It’s the warmest thing they’ve got. When they left the house the first time, max bleached her hair a goldy-honey blond and kept dying it. But since Mina hired them, it’s been growing out ever since. She wears hats most of the time anyway, so the dark roots are barely visible, even tho it’s gotten past her earlobes. Leo has been thinking about cutting his hair again, but Max is trying to talk him out of it because she not so secretly likes it long. No makeup in years. Max misses it sometimes.

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

From Autumn’s trips to the yardhouse we know this: Leo is a boxers and undershirts kinda guy, and Max is all about the lace and silk and satin. That makes it sound like this story is much sexier than it is.

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

Fairly fit from all the physical work, but in an average sort of way. They are about the same height-pretty average. They both have moments of vanity in between not really thinking about their own body much at all.

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? 

Max and her silky intimates. Leo sometimes watches the same movie over and over again just because he doesn’t want to get up to change it. THeir relationship with one another is…  complicated. They both feel guilty and decidedly unguilty about it.

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

They both have gotten pretty good at auto repair throughout the years. Max is stupid good at climbing. Trees, rocks, buildings. She sits out on the roof of the yardhouse when she’s annoyed with Leo and it is very frustrating. She’s also an amazing speed reader with high retention. If they ever need to look up how to do something, Max will read an article or book- paraphrasing outloud to instruct Leo as he tries it. Secret time: way back when he was very little, Marlene made Leo take dance and piano lessons. He hated it and found ways to skip out on the lessons pretty early on, but he still retained quite a bit. Now he just likes dicking around with weird little diy projects- fixing things and improving things around the yardhouse- making new candles out of the drippings and blunt ends of old ones.

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

Max reads constantly- and fast. She’ll read anything, but has a soft spot for epic adventures. Tolkein, Dumas, that kind of thing. Leo likes to read, but he’s slower and prefers quick, fun genre pieces.

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

I think they admire people who have found their place and are comfortable in their lives. They realize what a rare thing that is and are struggling so much to find some sort of homeostasis, they really appreciate those who are self aware and self assured at the same time.

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging? 

Definitely phonecall or text people. If communication other than face-to-face is necessary at all.

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

Coffee drinkers. But there’s a case of redbull in the yardhouse basement for emergency situations.

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

Max is definitely bisexual because she and Autumn will not stop with the ust no matter what I do. These bisexuals. I can’t take them anywhere. I assume Leo is straight, but he doesn’t interact with any men other than the accountant, so this could very well be a case of my characters keeping secrets from me.

Well, the two of them are in the rare situation of finding their soulmate at a very early age, so really, the venn diagram of “qualities I find attractive” and “qualities of my partner” for both of them is pretty much a circle.

I think they get a lot of what they need from one another, but they could stand to work on their relationship and their lives outside of one another. Even when it’s fairly stable, codependency is pretty damn unhealthy.

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

Goals are really just to keep one another safe and hopefully work back towards something resembling the people that Charlie loved so much.

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

I always thought Marlene came from a very traditional Catholic family. She only seemed to go to church when things were going well and she was feeling stable tho, so Leo has mostly good memories attached to religion. After Charlie disappeared, he leaned hard into Saint Philomena icons and such because it felt better to pray than do nothing.

Dirk, and Max’s mom, were never religious so she doesn’t have many feelings on the subject either way. She might have some bitter thoughts towards it from time to time, but won’t badmouth anything she knows is comforting to Leo.

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most? 

Definitely winter people. *Stefano from SNL voice* Hot food. Stiff drinks. SNUGGLES.

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves? 

That’s a hard one. Obviously people find them a bit off putting and weird most of the time. But Mina and Autumn at least also trust them and believe them to be capable, and in that, sort of develop fondness for their weirdness. I think for both of them, their sense of self is wrapped up in their sense of one another, so they aren’t very objective about themselves as individuals. That is a very wishywashy answer but here we are.

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

They have never been very good with the first impressions, but they are pretty accurate to their typical behavior. Whether others warm up to them after getting used to it or not is up to that other person.

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

In my constantly running mental “Charlie lives!au,” the mercys are expected to attend all kinds of high end social gatherings. They hate them on principal more than actual dislike of being at them. But they find ways to make them fun for themselves. Embarrassing Dirk and Marlene in any way they can mostly. subtly needling people they don’t like. Etc.

Leo doesn’t like dressing up, and Marlene is always trying to tell Max how to dress so it’s a point of tension. Max will always do the exact opposite with her clothes that Marlene wants, so if she gets the “show some leg and pop some cleave- we need these people in a good mood” order, she shows up in high necks and full skirts; if it’s “keep it classy, we need to be a wholesome all american family here,” she’s nothing but slink, open backs and thigh slits.

Once Charlie gets older and starts to attend these gatherings as well, they are on constant alert, making sure she doesn’t interact too much with the wrong people.

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend? 

Well, as the story stands they don’t attend any parties. The closest they get is drinking with Autumn in the one scene in the screenplay. They like that just fine. 

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

Leo still has a picture of Charlie and a Saint Philomena charm in his truck that he’d freak if he lost. Max has a beaded bracelet from her mother that only Leo has ever seen. She never wears it, but keeps it in a go bag just in case they have to make a quick run for it.

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials? 

They definitely have a go bag. Big wad of cash, basic survival materials in case they have to keep off the grid. fake ids. They’ve got it covered.

#essayofthoughts #winter gothic #mercys #max #leo #charlie #ft. dirk and marlene #omg i love my children so much #my sad damaged babs #LET ME WRITE MORE FOR YOU EVEN THO YOUR OFFICIAL STORY IS BASICALLY COMPLETE #long post

[rosaryteeth]

found an ask meme just so i could answer some questions because i’m BORED i need something to do

1. Are you a virgin?

no

2. Does anyone besides you know your bra/penis size?

i don’t even know my bra size anymore 

3. Do you know anyone who has any STDs?

not that i know of, but it’s not rlly yknow...widely discussed i think

4. Were you married when you first lost your virginity?

no

5. Do you swear under celibacy?

no lmao sometimes i wish i did bc i don’t have sex often enough and celibacy would give me a voluntary reason to not have sex

6. When did you first lose your virginity? If you haven't, when would you like to?

i was 19, the summer after my sophomore year of college

7. Have you ever gotten tricked into aphrodisiacs or alcohol for sex?

no yikes 

8. Have you walked in on someone masturbating/having sex?

no 

9. Have you ever seen someone masturbate or have sex with their permission?

kind of?? it was over facetime and i couldn’t see anything below the waist 

10. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?

honestly i’ve really never had sex in a weird place. it was only weird to me bc of the situation but the last time i had sex was in the guy’s family’s house, and his family is like super well known in my city so it felt like a weird accomplishment to get railed inside their home

11. If you had to chose one, would you have outdoor sex or car sex?

i’ve never done either, but there are so many pros and cons to both. pro, outdoor sex would have more room, but con, the thought of getting like grass or dirt or any foreign bits in my vagina sounds terrible. i think i’d rather do it in a car

12. When was the age you first masturbated? Whether you knew it or not?

i was 14 when i reeeally did it, like gave myself an orgasm and vaguely knew that was what i was trying to do. but i started messing around with myself some when i was 13, i just had no idea how my anatomy actually worked

13. Have you ever helped someone "finish"?

yes

14. Have you ever had an erection in the past month? (clitorial counts, too)

i guess (i never think of it as a clitoral erection lmao that just sounds so weird to me)

15. When was the last time you have had an erection? (clitorial counts, too)

uh like two nights ago, i masturbate almsot every night just because

16. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?

thankfully no one can see these clitoral erections B)

17. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)

it used to be just clitoral (just hands or a vibrator), but in the last few months i discovered crystal dildos and now that is where its at

18. What is your bra/penis size?

again i have no idea

19. Has anyone seen your private parts other than yourself or a family member?

yes

20. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?

i guess crystal dildos are kinda strange

21. Do you like rough sex or intimate sex better?

why can’t it be BOTH

22. When was the last time you masturbated?

tuesday night i think

23. When was the last time you had sex?

in november lmao it’s been too long

24. When was the last time you watched porn?

probably the last time i masturbated 

25. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?

yes, i bought my first vibrator two years ago when i was 19, and yes it still works 

26. Guys: Circumsized?

welp

27. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?

my NECK i will be putty in your hands if you touch my neck

28. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?

i mean....everything

29. Girls: Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?

no, i don’t really have a ton of feeling in my nipples, never have

30. What color/type of underwear are you wearing?

navy blue from victoria’s secret 

31. Have you ever sent someone a picture or video of you in the nude?Did it include sexual actions?

yes i’ve sent pictures of myself that were sexual but i’ve never sent one with actual nudity

32. Have you ever posted a picture of image of you in the nude on a website? Did it include sexual actions?

yes, i’ve posted ~tasteful nudes~ here and on my finsta for my friends. none included sexual actions

33. Have you ever anonymously sent/posted a picture or video of yourself in the nude? Did it include sexual actions?

no

34. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?

no

35. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?

it’s been a while. i think i had one a few weeks ago?? i forget

36. Which wet dream was your favorite?

honestly i don’t rlly have sexual dreams very often, and when i do they’re more frustrating than anything because i always wake up as soon as the actual sex starts 

37. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?

yes, idk if he’s entirely my friend, probably more of an aquaintance, but it’s someone i’ve had sex with before & would do again

38. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?

i wanna get spit roasted by mads mikkelsen and hugh dancy as hannibal and will

39. Have you ever masturbated with someone?

over facetime, and also kind of during sex?? like only for a minute

40. Have you ever took a shower with someone that is not a family member?

no, shower sex sounds scary i’d probably slip and die 

41. Favorite sexual position? If you are a virgin, which position interests you?

i fuck with a good missionary, no hate to that (like when you alter it with leg positions especially). i’m also a big fan of being on my side with the guy like kneeling upright

42. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

SO MUCH. literally like one of my biggest kinks 

43. Are you into any BDSM?

i’ve never really done any, but i’m very open to it

44. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?

yes kind of. it’s always been people i’ve had sex with before, and either it’s just not possible at the time bc of whatever reason, or they’re not interested anymore 

45. Turn on's?

dirty talk, degradation, anything to do with my neck, spanking, man anything if i’m into someone sexually everything they do will turn me on

46. Turn off's?

idk about specific things during sex, but if i don’t feel a sexual vibe connection with somenoe, i’ll never be attracted to them so it’ll just never happen

47. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone? Was it about anyone other than your lover?

yes i’ve had sexual fantasies, mostly just reminiscing on past sexual encounters. i guess other times that i fantasize (in the present situation), there’s no specific person involved in the fantasy 

48. Have you ever had phone sex? Video sex? Chat box sex?

i used to have facetime sex when i was in a weird tumblr relationship

49. What was the weirdest thing that has ever turned you on?

i guess when i realized i was so into being called a slut, it was a little weird. i just never thought it would be my thing

50. Do you like dirty talk?

SO MUCH. 

51. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?

i can be quiet if i have to be, but also can get loud if it’s allowed. usually i’m pretty quiet during masturbation, but every now and then i’ll make some sounds 

52. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?

yes, a couple times with my ex. once, his roommate came home while we were in the middle of it, and we didn’t realize he was back til he pounded on the wall and told us to shut up. then twice, his mom interupted us. the first time, she definitely knew what was going on bc she wasn’t home when we started and we didn’t know she came back. the second time i don’t think she had any idea, she just called him out to look at something or something, and he had to very hastily try to pull himself together 

53. Most embarressing sex/masturbation story?

getting caught by my ex’s mom was pretty embarassing 

54. Most hilarious sex/masturbation story?

i guess maybe that’s kinda funny too? thankfully i have no funny or embarassing masturbation stories 

55. What kind of porn do you like to watch?

i’m a fan of the locally grown organic content on tumblr, usually people masturbating is my go to

56. First type of porn you have ever watched? (ie. lesbian, hentai, threesome)

i think it was a group of girls masturbating together

57. What was the most recent type of porn you have ever watched? What category was it under?

last time, i just scrolled through a porn blog on tumblr and looked at whatever came up

58. Most hilarious/stupidest porn you have ever watched?

that porno with the thing about the lemon tree that was a meme a few years ago

59. Have you ever fantasized over someone older than you? How much older? Younger? How much younger?

yes, technically. 2/3 guys i’ve been with are older than me (one only by a few months, the other by two or three years), and the other  is younger than me by a year and a half 

60. Favorite sex toy (if any)?

crystal dildos are life changing 

61. Have you ever had to break up with/divorce someone because you weren't satisfied with their sex?

no, but that’s a true fear right there 

62. Have you ever used anything/gotten any surgeries to improve sexual performance/feel?

no

63. If someone you knew asked for a nude image, would you do it? What about a tumblr follower?

if it was someone i was interested in, yes. if not, then no, likewise for a tumblr follower. 

64. Have you ever told someone any wet dreams/fantasies you've had about them?

yes, when i had sex dreams about my ex (while we were together), i told him about it

65. Do you like to have sex like they do in pornos?

i’m not sure?? does anyone have sex like in pornos?

66. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?

i think i told my ex i masturbated to him (also while we were together, i’m not a weirdo)

67. Are you able to be secretive when you masturbate? (like able to be quiet so no one can hear?)

yes

68. When was the first time you achieved orgasm?

when i was 14 and realized where the clitoris is 

69. Is there only one way so far that you have been able to achieve orgasm? (ie. only by using toys, only from 1 positon,only from masturbating a certain way)

only by myself, so far i’ve not been able to orgasm with a partner. they’ve all put in a noble effort, but i think i’ve accidentally conditioned my body to only be able to cum by myself 

70. Favorite type of oral?

giving B)

71. Strangest sexual positon you've tried?

i don’t really think i’ve ever done anything that crazy as far as positions go

72. Have you ever made up a sexual postion?

no

73. Girls: During sex, vaginal or anal?

obviously vaginal is number 1, but i’ve done anal for a very brief amount of time before, and i’m open to exploring it more

74. Girls: During masturbation, clitorial, vaginal, or anal?

clitoral and vaginal (only vaginal if i have a toy)

75. Do you like to be dominant or submissive?

submissive

76. Have you ever masturbated to someone?

yes 

77. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn't there when you needed them?

yes

78. Have you ever had a one night stand

technically?? it wasn’t supposed to be a one night stand in the technical sense, but we ended up only having sex once 

79. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?

yes, i’ve had two. one of them was barely beneficial at all, one of them was a lot better, and maaaaybe still beneficial?? but i don’t really think he’s into it anymore

80. Have you ever had sex with someone who wasnt your partner?

in the cheating sense, no, but i’ve had sex with people i wasn’t dating (while i was single otherwise)

81. Has any of your partners had sex with someone else?

also in the cheating sense, no. all of them have had sex with people other than me though, i’ve never been someone’s first 

82. Have you ever gotten pregnant? Were they your lover's or someone else's?

no thank GOD 

83. Birth control or condoms?

birth control 

84. Do you ever masturbate to porn?

yes

85. Does anyone know you masturbate? Did you have to tell them?

yes, i think all my friends know just bc we talk about all sexual shit

86. Did your parents ever find out you were sexually active?

my mom knows i lost my virginity to my ex, but she has no idea i’m still technically active

87. Do you have any STDs?

no 

88. Have you ever masturbated to a fictonal character or celebrity?

no

89. Have you ever had sex during "7 minutes in heaven"?

no i’ve never done 7 minutes in heaven at all

90. Spit or swallow? Or do you not like oral?

swallooooooow

91. Have you ever been rejected for sex? Have you ever rejected someone else?

yes to both. i’ve been turned down by a former friend with benefits, and i’ve never been specifically propositioned for sex and turned them down, but i’ve turned down guys i know were interested in me

92. Do you have someone who said they are willing to take away your virginity if you havent lost it by a set age or if you just want to have a good time?

lmao i did before i lost it. i didn’t want to have sex with them, but they always said they’d be happy to take it for me by a certain age. i just wanna have a good time fam

93. Have you ever experiented with the opposite sex?

yes

94. When you first lost your virginity, was it intended or spontanious?

kind of both?? i’d been dating my bf at the time for a little over a month, and it was known we both wanted to have sex, and he knew i was a virgin so he wanted to wait til he was sure i’d be okay. we kind of vaguel talked about it happening this one weekend, but then the night i thought we would do it, we didn’t because it felt too weirdly planned out. we ended up spontaneously having sex two days later

95. Has anyone ever walked in when you were taking a shower with someone?

no

96. Did you ever tell someone once you lost your virginity?

yes i told so many people lmao. i think the first person i told was clayton, bc i always told him i’d text him immediately after. so like 40 minutes after i texted him like GUESS WHAT I JUST DID

97. Does your lover know if you have masturbated?

i assume they’ve all assumed 

98. Does your lover know that you want to have sex with them but can't?

i don’t really have a lover. i saw the last boy i had sex with on new year’s eve, and i would sleep with him again if he wanted, but i’m not sure if he realizes that/is interested 

99. Do you like masturbation?

of course

100. (Asker's ask) If i were to ask you if we could have sex, would you say yes?

well i asked myself so B))))))

#personal

[momentsofmendes]

Do ya? Part One

“Do you remember your first big heart break?” “First, last…latest. Yeah that sort of pain never really leaves you. You’ll know what I mean about that one day.” I answered her. “Latest? Ah.” she smiled at me knowingly. “What?” I laughed. “I wondered why you were suddenly free and eager to come over here on vacation.” “It’s not a vacation, as you yankee-doodles say. It’s a holiday. An eight week long holiday which I am using to forget the boyfriend that just left me. We lived together, so I’m now homeless until I start university in approximately 10 week’s time.” I tried to sound jovial about the whole thing, was pushing the whole ordeal to the back of my mind and trying to focus on the positives which were a) a whole summer in New York with a friend b) freedom c) I was finally starting university in September - about four years behind the rest of my friends who had always known what they wanted to do. I hadn't been so lucky. I had to venture out in the scary world of work to discover what I really wanted to do with my life. “Guessing you don't want to talk about it, but I really want your advise. I haven't even had my first kiss yet and its so hard to meet guys. Especially now that I’m in college, they all want one thing.” she rolled her eyes. I loved that she still had something innocent about her. He had yet to experience a lot of things, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. She hadn't experienced the heart wrenching experience of someone leaving you, falling out of love with you. I had one guy I was seeing for a few weeks cheat on me with one of my best friends. The funny thing about that ordeal was that if she’d just told me in the first place I would have told her that I wasn't that interested in him. We haven't spoken since. “One of the positives of this break up is that I can now put the money I saved for a house towards university. 10 weeks to go.” I raised my glass. “To new beginnings, and to my stories putting you off men forever.”

~

Vanessa’s idea of cheering me up was steering a semi drunk me to what looked like a concert venue. “Who’s playing?” I asked. “I cant tell you.” “I need to know, if its someone hot you’re supposed to throw your knickers at them in appreciation. What do I throw at this person?” The knicker throwing was an old saying, pretty sure it was something my mum’s generation did back in the Rod Stewart days. She laughed, a bubble forming from her nose. I erupted into uncontrollable laughter in unison. “Throw whatever you brits throw at each other.” “In that case I need to crack into my emergency tea supplies and load up on ammo.” I dug around in my hand bag before I came across what I was after, not really sure why I had packed them in there and not my carry on, and pulled out my box of Dorset Tea. “I’m sure that this mysterious person will appreciate my efforts as I’m sure they too recognise how hard it is to get a decent cup tea here. “You’ve been in the country for four hours.” she laughed. “Precisely, I’m gasping.” It quickly became apparent that the person who's concert we were attending was a big deal, the queue outside extended way down the street. “You don't mind waiting here while I grab the tickets from over there do you?” she pointed towards the end of the line and then over to the box office. I shrugged. “We love to queue.” She didn't get that I was making a joke, but I didn't expect her to either. I observed the other people in the queue, a mixture of ages and both men and women. All were dressed pretty normally, no band shirts in sight to give away who it was. I wondered who she liked and tried to work it out. It couldn't be one direction due to the current hiatus and the fact that the queue was relatively calm and not awash with screaming teen girls. She came back over a few moments later which surprised me, brandishing what looked like VIP passes. “For you.” she said, passing me one of the neck worn passes. “Wow, fancy. Where do you get the money for this stuff?” She tapped the side of her nose and whispered. “My dad’s in the garbage disposal business.” “I think I’ve worked out who it is, and he is definitely going to appreciate my tea bags.”

~

“Give me love like her. ‘Cos lately I’ve been waking up alone.” We sang along loudly, every word felt like it was stretching my lungs to capacity, and by the end of the concert I was hoarse and a little dizzy and hot from being packed in so close to everyone else in the crowd. “There’s a bar in the VIP area, I’ve been here before.” she guided me through the crowd, most were dispersing out into the foyer of the venue to go home, but not us, oh no. Vanessa was resourceful. I’d have to ask what she meant about her dad later on, it was probably an inside joke that I didn't get, just like she didn't get so many of mine.

“So what is a cheeky nandos? Ed mentioned it between drunk and don’t.” “Why don't you ask yourself?” I giggled, pointing in the direction of the very bar we were heading for that she had turned away from to question me. “He’s right there.” “I can’t!” “Why not? Take a tea bag with you for a conversation starter.” I was half joking but thought it would actually be the sort of thing he might find funny, or at least memorable. I could imagine him going on the Graham Norton show and being questioned about the craziest things fans have ever done, giving him a tea bag in a New York concert venue had to be up there with some of the craziest things he’d ever experienced, surely. “Fine but I’m approaching it from the ‘my friend is a crazy weirdo from the uk that carries tea around in her purse’ angle.” “Fine but remember, never put the milk in first.” I shoved her in Ed’s direction, watching closely as she tottered off towards him, her heels making herself head and shoulders above most in the room, she really didn't need them. I positioned myself at the bar and looked at the tender, wondering if he was going to ask me for ID and if he would accept my UK driving license as proof enough of my age, or whether I should have brought my passport with me. I ordered a cocktail, something with a weird name, it was the only thing on the menu without a rude name. “You don't look old enough to be drinking.” the voice came from behind me, it was accented but not one that I could place. I was terrible at recognising regional accents. I knew for sure that he wasn't from Jersey like Vanessa, she had a very memorable twang to her voice. I turned and looked at him. Tall, slim but well build, very handsome with dark brown hair that quaffed up at the front, and a strong jaw that wore a goofy smile. I sized him up. “Neither do you, does your mum know you're out?” “She does actually, she’s here.” he laughed. The tender came back with my drink and I turned fully to the guy and held out my hand. “I’m Elle.” “Shawn.” she shook my hand, somewhat awkwardly which made me feel like a nutter for even offering it. “Which one’s your mum then?” I asked, sipping my drink. It was fruity, and way too sweet. “That one over there.” He pointed then laughed awkwardly. “She’s a brit too.” “Ha that’s funny, I didn't expect to meet quite so many while I was over here. I was here for some escapism.” “She made me come over because she noticed you getting teabags out and giving them to that very tall girl. Looks like she's making a big impression on Ed by the way.” I leaned onto my tip toes and peeked over his shoulder at Vanessa, who was in hysterics, as was Ed, both bent double. “I knew that would work.” “Are you from the same place as the tea?” I shook my head, snapping back to our conversation rather than spying on my friend over his shoulder. “Yes - well where the brand is from. Tea isn't really grown in the UK, everyone knows its all imported. We like to pretend that we invented it though.” “You’re kind of funny y’know?” he smiled at me, a really big smile and I went all melty. Forgetting that I had vowed to be a boy free zone for the rest of my life, or just the next three years while studying. “Funny looking?” I probed. “Definitely not - you’re hot.” “Wow you american guys are forward…” I laughed, widening my eyes. “I’m Canadian.” his cheeks gained a blushed hue and I smiled. “My apologies, I don't have a good ear for accents - and all I know about Canada is hockey, maple leaf, moose, cold, Justin Bieber…” I laughed awkwardly. “Well Elle. I’d like to give you a lesson if you have time. How long are you on vacation for?” He looked hopeful, reaching into his pocket and fishing out a phone. “I’m on holiday over here for 8 weeks, pretty much the whole summer. Do you live here?” I asked. “At the moment.” he nodded, running his hand through the back of his hair, making it stick up even more. “I’m doing some work here, a uh project.” “You’re old enough to work?” I joked. “Hey - I’m probably no younger than you are. You’re what? 19?” I laughed. “Try 22. You’re 19?” “18 - but I’m very mature for my age.” he assured me. I wouldn't have been able to guess that he were only 18 if he hadn't said anything. He had soulful dark brown eyes that seemed older and wiser than their years, like they had really seen the world and had a story to tell - I liked that. “I’m sorry to dash Shawn but I think my friend just did something embarrassing and needs a swift escape. I’m going to go and save her.” I smiled, touching his wrist, the hand that still clutched the phone. “Wait - Elle. Can I- Can I have your number?” I took the phone from him and typed my number in, ensuring to include the +44 prefix at the beginning and advised him to whatsapp me so that I didn't get a horrendous roaming bill from O2 higher than my student loan. He just smiled, shaking his head lightly with a suppressed laugh. His parting words as I brushed past his shoulder were “She’s different.”

#shawn mendes #one shot #imagine #shawn mendes one shot #shawn mendes imagine