#he loves her so much he's put her memory on such a pedestal that it now feels unreachable

[sadokasochism]

I am destroyed over the whole god/worshipper dynamic and have no idea how to adequately put it into words.

I mentioned in another post that Mizi could not fathom Sua ACTUALLY dying, or comprehend what death really meant, and attributed this to her relatively comfortable and sheltered life as the pet of Shine. She was not taught to conceptualise death as a loss, and she never faced any opposition to that world view. From what we know, she might have never really known true, lasting pain or loss before the end of Round 1.

However, her reaction could also be due to her placing Sua on a pedestal as her personal god and universe. She viewed Sua as her absolute everything, and why would any faithful worshipper believe their god could be killed? Only, while Sua was everything to HER, that perception did not carry over to their captors. Mizi's love and devotion was not enough to save Sua. Forces stronger than them both took her away like she was nothing.

How must Mizi have felt, having her perception of Sua as the centre of the universe shattered that way? Coming to the violent realisation that Sua was just another human, and that humans are indeed that vulnerable and disposable? That Sua could now only exist in memories and in the visions that haunt her? That Sua is not a god, but a ghost?

Now we look at Till's perception of Mizi. Again, in an earlier post I mentioned the tragedy of Till falling for someone who did not have a reason to leave. He had a lot of blind faith in Mizi, and it could be said that he idealised her as a paragon.

It's not hard to see how he reached this point. The poor kid had not been shown a lot of kindness in his life, and so meeting someone who was genuinely good and so full of joy must have had a huge impact on him.

However, his faith is still a blind one, but in a different way to Mizi's blind faith in Sua. He is happy to endure any amount of horrible treatment and does not expect anyone to help him. He doesn't resent Mizi for being so close to their captors, for her dreams stopping at Alien Stage. He doesn't resent her after he gives up on his chance at freedom and is subjected to who knows how many more years of pain and torment at the hands of their captors (Not that Mizi is at fault, Till made his own decision that Mizi likely never even knew about).

He sees Mizi's innocence and ignorance to the cruelty of their reality as something wonderful instead of a character flaw that prevents her from saving herself or her loved ones.

Sua has the same issue, seeking comfort and bliss within Mizi's brightness instead of acknowledging the cruel reality of their world. Maybe she felt sharing her perspective with Mizi would dim Mizi's bright spirit, and so she was more than content to wait out the clock with her god.

Maybe Sua felt that meeting Mizi, loving her and being loved by her in return, was nothing short of a miracle after the life she had lived before Anakt Garden. Maybe she felt in light of that, aspiring for something like freedom or a long, long life of happiness with the person she loved the most was asking far too much. The time she got with Mizi was already a miracle, why expect or demand anything more?

If Sua was afraid of Mizi losing her brightness, no wonder she was so affected by Ivan's lecture about becoming a source of trauma for Mizi after her death.

Ivan's view of Till as his god is a bit different. He is similar in that he doesnt seem to demand his devotion be reciprocated, he just wants his god to acknowledge him as a person, as someone that is at least PART of Till's universe, if he can't be all of it.

He is also very willing to become a martyr for his god while expecting nothing in return but Till continuing to live. He acknowledges Till as vulnerable and falable in a way that Till doesn't with Mizi, and Mizi didn't with Sua. He knows damn well that while Till is the centre of HIS universe, their captors certainly do not hold Till in that same regard. He knows that love and devotion in a vacuum does not save anyone.

Which is why he was always the one to free Till, to try and escape with him, and why he pulled the stunt he did in Round 6. Ivan knew that actually making an impact in this world required personal risk and sacrifice, because their captors don't give a fuck if you're in love or if that other pet-human they're about to kill means everything to you.

Till knew this too, but his idealised version of Mizi is too perfect to be broken and beaten down by this world the same way the rest of them have been. So he's still shattered by Round 5, seeing how far Mizi has fallen and then not knowing if she's alive or dead, but knowing for sure she is far out of reach. I wonder, did he regret not running away with Ivan at that point? Did he wonder what all those years of suffering were for, if he was just going to end up losing Mizi anyway? If this world was able to break her too, no matter what he did?

Mizi is gone and changed forever, and nothing he did could stop it. His love and devotion and sacrifice wasn't enough. He failed his god.

In Round 6, Ivan is faced with the same thing. His god has lost his fighting spirit, is changed forever, and Ivan's love and devotion wasn't enough to save him. The last thing he can give is his life, and hope that will be enough. Just like Sua. But he was never Till's god, was never even part of his universe, he probably won't even leave a ghost behind. So, the choice is obvious, really.

They're all so desperate for hope and connection in this lonely, painful existence that they make a person their entire universe, and then are repeatedly crushed when they are shown again and again that their soul-consuming love for one another is seemingly meaningless in a world that views them as infinitely disposable.

#alien stage #alien stage mizi #alien stage sua #alien stage ivan #alien stage till #alnst #alnst mizi #alnst sua #alnst ivan #alnst till #mizisua #mizitill #ivantill #basically i will never know peace again

[wowa-bublord]

In your au has Zack tried to get to Aerith at all and if not is there a reason?

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED. If you asked Zack why he hasn't contacted Aerith, you would get a whole lot of excuses

And when Zack asks himself, he tends to make excuses too. It's been too long, it's not the right time, it's too dangerous to see her when he's unsure whether Shinra is still looking for him or not.

but I think, while Zack does genuinely think these things, these are reasons why he's hesitant to see her, the main reason is that he doesn't know if he's the same Zack she used to be with. Being on the run required him to hurt other people, other troopers, who- while they were after him, and it was self-defense- were soldiers just like he was. Possibly even young soldiers or child soldiers, judging by the how young the characters we know were when they joined. He feels as if he can't be the Zack he was when he knew her. That somewhere along the way, the person she loved died and he stole their place in life. Would the old Zack have killed so many people, while knowing that they were in the same situation he was?

Would Aerith still love him, knowing that he did?

he doesn't necessary love fighting. But he doesn't necessarily feel bad doing it, either.

#my art #zack lives au #zack fair #aerith gainsborough fanart #he loves her so much he's put her memory on such a pedestal that it now feels unreachable #he's worried if she saw him as he is now it would disgust her #if he's going to make an appearance to her again he feels like it needs to be perfect. and he feels decidedly un-perfect. #Aerith/zack/cloud is endgame though 😈😈 #i have soooo many thoughts on them i loooveee aerith/zack #ffvii #ff7 #zack fair ff7 #aerith ff7 #zack fair fanart #thanks for the ask !!!

[themattress]

Untitled Kairi Post

Y'know what? In a way, Kairi was tragically doomed as a character from the very beginning.

"Oh, because she was a love interest and damsel in distress!"

No. Myths, fairy tales and, well, Disney movies have used those tropes for ages, and if you're doing a story where a huge point is the influence of those things, it's kind of a given that the leading lady be a love interest and damsel in distress. And the writing is smart enough to put a twist on the trope given that Kairi's distress is much less than it appeared to be because she's Sora's love interest and he's her's, and after Sora saves her she saves him right back.

"Oh, because she wasn't a playable character or party member!"

No. It would have been nice to have the playable puzzle solving-based Kairi sequence they initially planned at Hollow Bastion, but I can understand why it was removed given how it would slow down the pace following what is perhaps the signature sequence of the game. And in any case it doesn't have any bearing on how things went for the rest of the series, given that Riku also was not a playable character or party member (he just had a crappy AI when pretending to help you fight Parasite Cage all so that he could kidnap Pinocchio).

"Oh, because she was stuck in a coma the whole game!"

NO! God damn it, how much must the game beat the point into your stupid head!?

And who could forget?

Stop laughing right now.

Kairi. Not just "her heart". KAIRI. Since the heart = the person.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, it exposes some serious sexism if one goes with the "Kairi was in a coma" line for KH1 and yet says "Ventus was inside of Sora" post BBS, since it's literally the exact same situation except that Kairi was always awake within Sora's heart as opposed to Ventus only waking up at the end of 3D. It's why Sora felt things regarding Hollow Bastion, why he experienced the memory of Kairi and her grandfather, and why he saw and heard Kairi multiple times. He wasn't hallucinating; that was always really her.

So, enough beating around the bush. What did I actually mean, then?

Well....let's start at the beginning.

Kairi's arc in the original Kingdom Hearts is not just told through the writing. Utilizing a video game as a visual/audible medium, it is also told through animation, voicework and music. During her introductory cutscene, we see Kairi asked by Sora if she remembers the world she was born in before being sent to Destiny Islands. "I told you before. I don't remember." She answers this sincerely. "Nothing at all?" Sora responds. That's when we see this detail.

"Nothing." Kairi is lying. She doesn't remember everything given the trauma caused by being forced out of her old home, but she does remember just enough to understand why it was traumatic. She had a comfortable life there, and a family. She was happy. And then it was all gone in an instant. Now, on Destiny Islands, she is similarly content ("Well, I'm happy here.") and fears risking that same loss. And yet a small part of her still yearns for the past. She loved what she can recall of her past, as she loves her present. She fears only the future.

Riku's fixation on his existential woes and the mysteries of the universe, while also putting her up on some sort of pedestal like she's something special, is not helping at all. Something about it feels wrong to Kairi...wrong and uncomfortably familiar. It's making her very anxious.

But Kairi has someone to lean on and help her keep up an optimistic, cheerful front, perhaps enough to talk herself into believing it: Sora. And during this scene, we hear the track "Kairi I":

This track reflects Kairi's character in this moment. While there is a subtle undercurrent of worry, her heart is strong enough to not let it get to her and look on the bright side as she looks out to the sun setting over the ocean. With Sora's reassurance, she is able to feel as though her home and friends won't change or go away no matter what happens on her, Sora and Riku's planned voyage, which allows her to feel anticipation for it. All finally feels right.

Of course, things were not right, and Kairi ended up in heart form as her body and soul were lost to darkness along with Destiny Islands. From Kairi's POV, she is now in the Station of Awakening (aka Dive to the Heart) and can do little but watch Sora's adventures as she can see them through his eyes, not fully putting it together why she can and where she truly is.

In the scene at Merlin's House, we get to hear "Kairi II".

While it's similar to "Kairi I", there is now a more somber and mysterious feel to it given the present circumstances. While she doesn't know if Sora can hear her, Kairi wistfully waxes nostalgic over how Merlin's House reminds her of the Secret Place on Destiny Islands. And while Kairi feels sad over missing that place, she's also happy that there are places like it elsewhere in the universe. She's clearly learning as much from Sora's journey as Sora is.

Finally, we hear "Kairi III" in the flashback with little Kairi and her grandmother.

And while it starts out reflecting Kairi's childhood innocence, it ends up turning...almost sad. The reason why being one of the most overlooked details of the scene: at the end of the grandmother's story, she disappears, and little Kairi is shown moving her head all around looking for her. This isn't actually part of the memory, but a reflection of Kairi's heart. She knows that she had a grandmother and that her grandmother isn't here anymore, but she can't remember how her grandmother "left". But she at least still exists...within her heart.

Speaking of which, once Kairi's heart returns to her body and Sora loses his heart in the process, Kairi puts her foot down. She may have learned how to better deal with and accept change and loss, but a line still has to be drawn somewhere and Sora is that line for her.

Thus is she able to save him. Later, we see her worry about the future and things changing again when she questions whether anything can be the same between her, Sora and Riku again after the corruption Riku had underwent. Once again, Sora boosts her optimism.

More importantly, he helps her learn, as he does, that even when separated you can take strength in keeping your loved ones (metaphorically) in your heart, and that even if things change and Kairi is cut off from the people and things she loves, they will always exist within her heart, just as with her grandmother and the story she told her about light and darkness.

This is why, in the end, Kairi is able to let Sora go and yet still feel content.

From "Hikari" (JP):

I'll stop doing pointless things like thinking about the future. Today I'll eat delicious things. The future is always before us, Even if I don't know it.

From "Simple and Clean" (EN):

 Regardless of warnings, the future doesn't scare me at all.  Nothing's like before.

This is a really good, really well done character arc.

It's also a very human character arc.

Yes, there are a lot of fantastical things going on, but when you put all of that aside, what are you left with? A young girl moves away from her old home and everything that she ever knew and loved, which gives her anxiety about the same thing happening with the new home and everything that she's come to know and love from it, which now includes a certain boy. She fears the future; she fears change. In the end, she ends up staying in her new home - but the boy moves away! However, through her time spent with him she's learned to accept this because he'll always be a part of her heart, which is something that won't ever change.

When put that way, it sounds positively mundane, and by and large the KH fandom - and Tetsuya Nomura himself for that matter - don't want or like mundane stuff like that. They want the crazy, the overdramatic, the angsty, the flashy, the anime tropeyness they're familiar with. This is why they were unreceptive to Kairi's arc to the fullest degree, as in many of them are literally unaware it even happened because they were too busy fixating on the archetypal Japanese media-style dick measuring contest between Sora and Riku (which is also far deeper than they tend to give it credit for, btw, but I digress). And if that's the case, then the question gets raised: why bother focusing on or expanding Kairi at all? She doesn't "sell".

THIS is why Kairi was doomed from the start. It's not her fault. But it's sadly the truth.

#Disney #Square Enix #Kingdom Hearts #Kairi #Opinion #Analysis #Kairi Deserved Better #This has been a PSA

[melonteee]

About Sanji being feral with men/older men, I remember reading once in a fanfic how an OC or SI (I can't remember which ^^; ) suggested that the reason why Sanji is nice to women and rude to men is because of his family. That at a young age he formed the mindset that women tended to be good people while men tend to be bad people because when he was young only women (his mom and to an extent his sister) were the only ones to treat him with kindness while the men in his life (his brothers and father) treated him like shit.

That kind of makes sense and I can no longer unsee it.

I'm so sorry this got so long because I have so much to say about Sanji and his perception of gender so read under the cut LMAO

Anon the SECOND his WCI story was revealed, that was the literal first thing I noticed. As always, Oda has an incredible show don't tell ability - and while it is implied (and maybe Oda didn't have the intention), there's certainly an idea that Sanji puts women on a pedestal due to how men abused him.

But considering Reiju helped Sanji, and how there were maids around Sanji who were also kind to him, along with his own mother, I'd say it's extremely intentional. Reiju also isn't exactly the nicest person either, like she's presented as a total grey area. It's not that Reiju was kind to Sanji just because she was a 'nurturing' big sister, but because she was the only one who didn't have her emotions literally programmed out of her. Reiju still gave Sanji a tough time, and still didn't help him unless it was behind Judge's back, but she still showed him more kindness than Sanji's father or brothers EVER did.

While there's an obvious misogyny in Sanji, and it IS undeniable, it certainly slides much further up on the misandry scale. When he was first brought into the world, the only people nice to him were women. His first memories and first acts of care and love came from women. He was allowed to cry around his mother, he was allowed to let his guard down around Reiju, and he was allowed to be his 'emotional' self with the women that surrounded him. It is undeniable Sanji has elevated women up to a being higher than men, and much higher than his OWN existence. This has all mixed and formed inside him due to his time with the Vinsmokes AND his time with Zeff.

After all, combine Sanji's first and only real acts of affection coming from JUST women, with Zeff's ideology that women are NOT to be harmed, of course you're going to create a boy who idolises women as this holy deity.

Not to go a bit off track, but it's why this idea that Sanji HATES himself, and why he has ZERO self worth, is ALSO something people tie to his gender. Does Sanji take pride in being a 'manly man', or does he think that's what he needs to be for women? Does Sanji compensate his hate for his own self by being this extremely overdone, heteronormative gentleman? By projecting his love onto beings he believes he can never be nor measure up to?

When of course, these 'beings' are just women. Just people, like himself.

The discussions surrounding Sanji and gender, combined with his abusive male environment and this clear confusion/hatred for men, is WHY there are many who have picked up this idea Sanji perhaps does not want to BE a man. It can be called a stretch, or wishful thinking, but it's something people within the queer community have seen nonetheless.

After all, we have SEEN Sanji's happiness upon being perceived as a woman - TWICE.

Sanji quite literally has a deadname he refuses to be referred to as.

And now, with his current mutation happening, he is becoming afraid of - and displaced IN - his own body.

Sanji is such a weird and complicated character to fathom, honestly. It could VERY well be these were all things Oda just accidentally tripped and banged head first into, but WCI as a whole had a pretty big focus on not JUST familial roles, but expectations and roles of GENDER as well.

Katakuri's need to be stern and emotionless as an older brother, Pudding's abuse due to the fact she wasn't 'pretty' enough, Big Mum's daughters being married off unless they proved they can serve some OTHER purpose, Sanji's brothers forcefully cold and emotionless, Reiju needing to bottle her own emotions with fear of being bullied, SANJI'S bullying due to being an emotional boy, Judge HIMSELF being made fun of for his crying.

Combined all with Reiju telling Sanji "You're a boy, don't cry!"

WCI was fucking RIDDLED with gender discussion and gender expectation that comes with blood family, but this idea is pushed to the side due to the themes of familial abuse being the most prominent. Yet a BASE of familial abuse IS expectations of gender roles that comes WITH a nuclear family.

As much as people don't want to see it or CAN'T see it, Sanji's character and arc includes areas of toxic gender norms JUST as much as it covers blood family abuse. It's just something that's taken to an extreme in this hyper fiction setting, and thus, it can become invisible beneath the surface. But I see it! And obviously, you see it too anon!

Sorry for the rant I am just VERY passionate about Sanji's complicated relationship with gender LMAO

#ask #melonask #Sanji #SORRY AGAIN LMAO

[nonbinarycollector]

mob and tsubomi is one of the core relationships of mp100. i don't mean it in a "true love" way, tsubomi doesn't like mob romantically and never will. it's that she MOTIVATES him. she makes him feel self conscious, not in way of inducing anxiety, in the way where he wants to work to better himself and improve. tsubomi has never cared if he's psychic or not. she is the first, and for a while, only example mob's ever had of someone disregarding his powers and treating him like any other kid. she never put him on a pedestal or seen him as inferior, she's never used him for his powers, in most memories we see she is blunt and honest. mob really values honesty, even if harsh. he wants to be able to speak his own mind too narratively, if he didn't like tsubomi he would have never joined the body improvement club, and that was PIVOTAL to the plot as it led to a domino chain of important events. she is always influencing the story despite barely being around, because mob admires her so much. he wants to be a dependable person for her, he wants to be the kind of confident and self assured she is. her presence in his life encourages him to do better and be better. it makes him think he CAN be better her importance is only shown further in the ???% arc. if it weren't for being in his life, he wouldn't have faced himself, the turmoil and guilt he's going through, how much he's drowning in his unwillingness to accept who he IS. that car crash was an accident, unfortunate, and could not be planned. but his strong desire to see tsubomi, and to be himself, for her, leads into him finally facing who "shigeo kageyama" really is. tsubomi is essential to mp100. she's self reliant, confident, honest, and pushes mob to be better every day. she is a fascinating character and she was never meant to be a shallow love interest the guy gets in the end

#mp100 #mp100 spoilers #mob psycho 100 #mob psycho 100 spoilers #tsubomi takane #takane tsubomi #shigeo kageyama #mp100 s3 spoilers #mp100 s3

[moonsgemini]

seeking arrangements - i

summary: Lola's sister is getting married and the best man happens to be her cheating ex. In a desperate attempt to impress her family and show her ex she’s moved on with a hot date Lola turns to the advice of coworker pointing her towards the direction of a male escort. Rafe Cameron was the perfect man to take to any event for just $8,000. Her family won’t suspect a thing and when the wedding’s over they’ll never see each other again. Right?

warnings: escort!rafe x oc, mentions of a cheating ex, escort talk ??, fluff I think

wc: 4.1k

an: I love the movie the wedding date so I wanted to write a series based off of the idea, I hope you all enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it (:

series masterlist

Lola opened the door to her apartment shedding her rain coat and hanging it on her coat rack. The last of the May rain was really getting the best of her this year. She loved living in the city because it was walkable but she didn’t love it when it rained because she got soaked on her commute home. Her cat, Sailor, jumped down from the window sill of the living room and came to greet her rubbing her head against her legs purring lightly.

“Hi sweet girl, did you have a good day today?” Lola asked the black fluffy cat as she bent down and picked her up. Cradling her like a baby and kissing her face. Lola got lucky with a cuddly easy going cat. She felt like Sailor was her closest and most trusted friend.

She set Sailor down and walked over to her room with a content sigh. After changing into some comfy clothes and washing her makeup off she laid on her big grey couch. Her plans for the rest of the evening were to lay on her couch and get Chinese takeout, catch up on emails and watch her favorite show. Her favorite activities. After putting on friends as a little background noise she pulled her laptop out of her bag to check her emails. That’s when her memory of her morning at the office came back to her, her face flushed as she looked at the drafted email in front of her.

Rafe,

Hi my name is Lola and I’m in need of a date to a wedding. It’d be more than a date actually, I need a fake boyfriend in about two weeks for 5 days. It’ll be June 12th-17th in the Hamptons. My sister is getting married in the hamptons and my family is kind of nuts and obsessed with me getting a boyfriend. My ex boyfriend is also the best man in the wedding, and if it was like a regular break up it’d be fine but he cheated on me for over a year of our relationship so I want to show that I’ve moved on. I may seem desperate but I kind of am. Did I mention that I heard of you through a work friend whose cousin has a friend who hired you for some event. So if you’re interested please email me back and if you’re not then please forget I ever emailed you.

xx Lola

“oh God,” she muttered as she read it over. Did she sound desperate? maybe.

Eight months ago Lola’s sister Penny had called her squealing with excitement. She barely let Lola say hello before she was spilling the news about how her boyfriend, now fiancée, Harry had proposed to her. How he did it in the most romantic way while they were on vacation in Italy. It was hard for Lola to feel excited for her sister but she still put on an amazing act like always. All her life Penny had outshined and beat Lola in everything. She was the younger shining star that their mother put on a pedestal, little sister never did anything wrong. Penny won first place in science fairs, always got the boy, never had to try hard to get her dream job. It all seemed to come easy to her.

Three years ago Lola moved after graduating from college because she got an amazing job at a publishing office. She even got cute apartment and she felt like she was finally coming into her own. Penny came to the city when her and Harry were just friends to see him, of course seeing her sister wasn't her main priority. But she figured she’d kill two birds with one stone and invited Lola to dinner with them, where then Harry invited his best friend Thomas. They immediately hit it off and soon after he was her everything. She thought she’d be the first to get married, until two years into the relationship she found out the scum bag had been cheating on her for a year of the relationship. Lola was surprising him at work with lunch when this girl from his office crawled out from under his desk.

Ever since Penny had given her the news of the engagement she had face-timed or called Lola almost every week for the first few months whether it was about what flowers should be the center pieces or how many tiers should the cake be. Along with breaking the news that Thomas was going to be the best man, Penny just mentioned it in passing like it was no big deal. As if her sister's cheating ex wasn't going to be an important part of the wedding.

It was mentally exhausting but Lola couldn’t complain. It was her sister she had to help her and be there, she had to be a good big sister. Every time during those calls Penny would find a way to weasel in the question, “so do you have a date yet?” Lola hated that question. It was like Penny knew her sister couldn’t find a date. Every time Lola would say the same thing, “Not yet Pen.” Then she’d say, “I think Thomas is still bringing that girl from soho.” Almost as if she was trying to chip away at Lola’s finally mended heart. The last time Penny called about and asked that god forsaken question Lola blurted out a lie. “Actually yeah I-I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months but uh I didn’t want to invite him until I was sure about him.”

The lie came out almost too easy and she immediately regretted it. Where was she going to find a date. Especially someone who would want to spend 5 days with her crazy family. She had rested her head on her desk with a loud thud after she hung up the phone, catching the attention of Fiona.

“You good over there?” She asked peaking over at her coworker.

Lola lifted her head facing her, “I’m royally screwed.” She explained the situation to Fiona about the imaginary date she was taking.

“Who the hell am I going to find in a week,” Lola groaned tugging at her hair.

Fiona hummed in thought, “Okay you’re probably going to say no, but I may have a solution.”

Fiona explained how her cousin’s friend hired a male escort to go with her to a work party. The woman had been tired of going to work parties alone for the last few years and took matters into her own hands. The cousin’s friend had found him after he did a small anonymous segment in a magazine about male escorts. She knew the magazine’s editor and found the guy. Lola thought Fiona was crazy if she thought she would do that and immediately shut the idea down. But after some contemplation she timidly asked how she could get in contact with the guy, which led to the typing up of the email. She didn’t send it because she wasn’t sure if this would be a smart idea.

Lola read the drafted email over and over again, hovering the mouse over send. What could go wrong? A lot actually. Her whole family could find out and she’d be the laughing stock of the century. After that thought she definitely wasn’t going to send it. Maybe she could just go alone and tell her sister that her and mystery man broke up. As she was about to delete it Sailor jumped onto her lap and her fingers slipped and pressed down on send.

“Sailor! Fuck,” she gasped as she sat up, the cat getting off of her and standing on the ledge of the couch.

I guess there’s no turning back now, she thought to herself. She was honestly hoping he wouldn’t reply, but for some reason the rejection would make her feel worse.

-

Saturday’s were Lola’s favorite because she would go to her favorite deli and get a bagel, then head over to the farmers market. She had spent the whole night before refreshing her email with a glass of wine in hand waiting for Rafe’s reply

She was headed back home her shoulders carrying reusable bags filled with produce. Her favorite part of the day was over, but she couldn’t help but be anxious to get home and check her email. She hadn’t let herself check before she left the apartment or while she was at the market. It was 2pm now he has to have replied by now.

She made her way into her apartment unloaded the bags onto her kitchen counters before almost running to the living room where her laptop sat on the couch. Lola took a deep breath before opening her email, closing her eyes as her new messages loaded.

“Sailor this is your fault if he rejects me,” she muttered as the cat stared at her from the window sill. She looked back at her screen and the email with the subject title Hamptons Wedding staring at her. He had replied, her heart rate instantly picking up. She didn’t even know if this guy was good looking now that she thought about it. What if he ended up being some murderer? Before her racing mind took over she opened the email.

Lola,

It sounds like you’re in a sticky situation, so I’d like to help you out. Hopefully we can discuss all the details and the prices in person to get to know each other better. If you’re free this afternoon we can meet at Lucy’s in Manhattan at 6pm. Let me know if that works for you.

- Rafe

“Holy shit,” she gasped. Lola looked at the corner of her laptop at the time, 2:48pm.

Rafe,

That sounds great, I’ll see you then!

xx Lola

She quickly scrambled to her bathroom after sending her reply. It was her hair wash day and with about two and a half hours left to get ready she needed to start now.

As she was getting ready her mind was racing. What if he was ugly? But he did this for a living so she was sure that he had to be good looking. Hopefully not too out of her league or else how would her family believe her. How would Thomas believe her. What if Rafe thought she wasn’t pretty. Lola felt like she was getting ready for a blind date with the way she meticulously did her hair and winged her eyeliner. She had to keep reminding herself that this was just a business transaction, she didn’t need to impress him. Well maybe she did because he could totally reject her and turn down the idea.

When she was finally ready it was 5:21pm. She stared at herself in the mirror hoping her black dress and knitted cropped button up and boots looked good. She gave herself a small smile in the mirror and grabbed her bag. Kissing Sailor goodbye she headed out the door. The bar wasn’t too far from her apartment just a short 15 minute walk. She wore her headphones and listened to Taylor Swift trying to keep her mind elsewhere. Lola arrived to the bar and found a booth towards the back, she sat on the side facing the door so she could watch for her mystery man.

“Can you I get you anything to drink?” The waitress asked.

“Oh uh can I get a cosmo please,” Lola smiled politely. The waitress nodded and headed over to the bar.

Lola fidgeted with the rings on her fingers, eyes glued to the door. The door opened and a man walked through, probably just slightly taller than her with dark hair. Maybe this was him she thought as she sat up straighter, but he walked over to the other side of the bar greeting some other men who were already sat there. Her posture deflated a bit, maybe she was somehow being stood up. The waitress brought over her cosmo and she thanked her quietly. Taking a couple gulps to ease her nerves, almost finishing the whole drink.

The door to the bar opened once again and a tall man walked in. He was extremely handsome, chiseled features and dirty blonde hair. He was wearing a green button up and black jeans a silver chain around his neck. He stood at the front looking around until his eyes met Lola’s. He grinned and walked over to her. She couldn’t believe that this was Rafe, she felt like he was definitely out of her league.

“Hi, are you Lola?” Rafe asked even though he knew it was her. Her nervous demeanor and doe eyes definitely gave her away. His clients tended to have a certain anxious look to them, but she seemed different. She was also a lot younger than his usual clients, she seemed like she was his age but he was used to taking women in their 30s out. Rafe immediately thought she was pretty and he wondered how she couldn't find a real date to take.

“Hi yeah that’s uh me,” She smiled as she shook his outstretched hand. He sat down across from her and she really got a good look at him. He wasn’t just handsome he was hot. His eyes were blue and he had a bit of scruff as well as a bit of a mustache. His hair was parted down the middle his dirty blonde hair framing his face.

“So let’s talk business?” He asked breaking her out of her trance.

“Oh yeah, so I’ve never done anything like this ever. I just I really don’t want to go alone to this thing.”

He nodded, “Yeah that’s understandable, especially since you said your ex is the best man.” Rafe had been to a few weddings as a hired date but never one where his date was in the wedding party.

She raised her eyebrows and sighed, “Yeah just the icing on top of the cake. We were together for two years and I found him cheating on me with his coworker. I think he felt so guilty that he told me how he had been cheating on me for a year of our relationship because he felt like the spark had gone,” she laughed bitterly, “But the douche bag felt like faking it for a year with me would hurt less than a break up. I shouldn’t have dumped all of that on you.” She laughed cheek’s getting hot as she realized she’d told her tragic love story to some stranger.

“It’s fine, kind of what I’m here for. I’m sorry he treated you like that. No one deserves that. I'm also here to make sure he sees what he missed out on,” He smiled sincerely.

The waitress walked over, “Hi can I get you anything to drink?”

“Oh yeah can I just get a tequila soda,” he looked over at Lola’s empty glass, “and another one of whatever she’s having.”

“I’ll be right back with that,” she smiled.

“Before I give you a price or anything like that I just want to know a breakdown of the whole thing. I know you said five days in the Hamptons,” Rafe said folding his arms over the table. Lola couldn’t help but stare at his arms, it had been a while since she had been on a date so she couldn’t help but stare at the greek god in front of her.

Lola nodded, “Right, it’s five days and we’d be staying at my parents Hampton’s house. My dad’s a doctor and my mom is an interior designer, my mom is a bit of a nut,” she chuckled, “But uh there will be a cocktail party, rehearsal dinner, bachelorette and bachelor party, a couple of family barbecues, there’s this tradition where we all play baseball. Just a lot of events leading up to the actual wedding.”

Rafe was really fascinated by Lola, he could tell she was an anxious person. He could also tell she didn’t know exactly how beautiful she was and he had a feeling that may have something to do with her family.

“Sounds like pretty standard wedding stuff, I usually am just the date to the actual wedding but it all sounds fun,” he shrugged.

She shook her head, “You won’t be saying that after you have to hear my sister whine about every little thing and my mom hits on you after her sixth glass of wine.”

“I can handle drunk moms, I promise. For the five days it’d be $8,000. If you wanted to do any intimate stuff then that costs extra,” He couldn’t help the small smirk that formed on his lips. He knew that she was going to refuse the intimate stuff because she didn’t seem like the type but he kind of liked seeing her squirm.

“Oh no I’m good, I just don’t I won’t,” she stuttered with a flushed face, “I won’t need the extra.” Lola was a pretty good saver so the money wasn’t a problem for her, and as much as she hated to say it she was a bit of a trust fund kid.

He chuckled, “Okay, so you pay the day that we leave. We can get our story together now so that if any questions come up like how we met we can answer them.”

“Alright, so uh what’s our story?”

Rafe pursed his lips thinking for a second, “Uh we met here. You came in after work for a drink, I came up to you flirted and the rest is history. Our first date was at Romano’s and we’ve been together for six months?”

Lola nodded her head taking a sip of her new cosmo the waitress had just brought over, “What if they ask me about you? Like who you are what your job is?"

“I’m a real estate developer my company is Cameron Development. I have two sisters and I’m from North Carolina,” He took a sip of his drink. He didn’t know what he was giving her real details about his life but he felt like he could trust her. She had a warm aura to her that was pulling him in.

“How old you are? College? Favorite foods? Are you allergic to anything?” She asked nervously trying to get as much information as possible.

“Sweetheart they’re not gonna ask that much I promise,” he chuckled, “but I'm 25, I didn’t go to college my dad passed on the company to me. My favorite food is any pasta, I’m not allergic to anything. I also need to know some things about you, to make it fair.”

She sighed, “Right. Well I’m really boring. I'm 24 I grew up in New Jersey, I went to Syracuse and majored in english. I work at a publishing company and I have a cat named Sailor. I hate mushrooms and I’m allergic to bees.”

“Tell me more about your family,” He leaned back in his seat and she swore everything he did was just too attractive.

“So my sister, Penny, she’s the one getting married. She’s my younger and only sister. She’s always kinda been the golden child, her fiancée Harry is a nice guy despite who his friends are. My mom is nuts she prefers wine over water. My dad is the only one in my family who really sees me, he’s a great guy,” She smiled lightly, “Uh my cousin Tabitha is crazy but like the good kind, she’s always a good time I love her. Everyone else like my aunts and uncles are all kind of kooky.”

Rafe smirked, “Kooky eh? I think I can handle that. All seems like standard wedding guests.”

Lola started fidgeting with her rings, “I-I really can’t thank you enough for this. I’ve never done anything like this before. I just really hope we can convince people.”

“Lola you don’t have anything to worry about okay? I promise we’ll be convincing, I’m a professional remember. It’s my job to make you feel good about yourself and talk you up to your family,” He gave her a crooked smile, “Now I just need to hear more about this dick ex boyfriend.”

She pushed away the warm feeling in her stomach that rose when he said he was going to make her feel good, “Oh god. So uh he works in finance and he thinks he’s some big hot shot. When we broke up he immediately got with the girl he had been cheating on me with, I think he's actually taking her. He’s self obsessed and arrogant but I was too blind in love to see it. Someone had finally paid attention to me and I ate it up.”

“So definitely a grade A douche bag, we’ll make him jealous Lola.” Rafe reassured.

She nodded giving him a tight lipped smile. There had been a question itching at her to ask him, “so how did you start doing this?”

He laughed, “I’ve been waiting for you to ask, everyone always does. I uh kind of needed money and this girl from my hometown paid me two hundred bucks to take her to a Christmas party because she didn’t want to go alone. It sort of spiraled from there, but this isn’t my only job.”

“What else do you do?” She tilted her head curiously. He really didn’t need her to be doing cute things like that.

“That’s top secret, I don’t want to give out too much of myself for business reasons,” That was sort of a white lie because Rafe had in-fact told her what else he did but she didn’t need to know that Cameron Development was real.

“That’s understandable.”

After talking a bit more to get all their ducks in a row they left the bar, Rafe paying for their drinks despite Lola’s refusal. She was beginning to feel confident that they’d be able to pull this off. It was almost 10pm now as they walked side by side.

“How far do you live?” He asked looking over at her.

“It’s a fifteen minute walk,” She said looking up at him. Now that they were walking side by side she could really see their height difference. He was so much taller and broader than her, she felt light headed just thinking about it. Thomas had only been slightly taller than her.

“Let me walk you, it’s late.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive sweetheart, I can’t let you walk home alone.” He smiled.

The walk was filled with small talk about Lola’s job and her cat. Rafe barely spoke about himself but she knew it was to keep himself as anonymous as possible. They reached her apartment a lot quicker than she’d liked. Not that she would actually admit that.

“This is me.”

“Alright well you have my number so text me any other details I need to know, I’ll be here to pick you up in about a week. I know you have some doubts and anxiousness about this whole situation so if you need some reassurance don’t be afraid to reach out to me, but I promise this will all be fine.” He smiled hoping to ease her nerves.

“Thank you Rafe, really. You have no idea how much this means to me.” She smiled.

“Just doing my job sweetheart.”

“I’ll see you in a weeks then, goodnight Rafe.” She said before walking up to her apartment with butterflies in her stomach at the pet name he had used.

“Night Lola,” He waved before walking off in the direction of his apartment.

Lola wasn’t really regretting accidentally sending that email anymore. She only slightly regretted it because she didn’t expect him to be so handsome and charming, she would easily get sucked in to something that wasn’t going to be real. But she’d do anything to not face her family and ex alone.

As Rafe walked home he couldn’t help but think about Lola. His clients were usually older women these days, he also didn’t take on as many as he used to. Lately taking random women out to Christmas parties, fourth of July barbecues, and weddings didn’t feel as good as it did when he was 20. When he got Lola’s email he felt himself drawn to her, she seemed sweet and truly hurting about something. She didn’t sound desperate in the way other women did, she sounded hopeful. Rafe knew he would be royally screwed if he didn’t get his head in the game.

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron series #rafe cameron #rafe cameron au #rafe cameron smut #rafe fanfiction #rafe fic #rafe cameron outer banks #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron x oc

[fizziepopangel]

“Welcome to our home of healing! Our resort of restoration…”

Charlie made everyone in the hotel friendship bracelets with little Hazbin Hotel charms she had specially made.

She absolutely keeps scrapbooks. She has one full of photos with her and Vaggie that she’s been filling since their first date, and another full of her friends from the hotel (most are candid photos that they don’t realize she’s taken).

Charlie has done research on the animals each hotel resident seems to resemble. She cried for two hours when she accidentally stepped on Husk’s tail after finding out how important a cat’s tail is and the damage injuries can cause to it…. It did hurt, but he was overall ok and he honestly wasn’t that upset with her, but she still hasn’t quite forgiven herself for the incident and she is beyond careful of where she steps now.

Niffty teaches Charlie to sew after she tore her blazer jacket.After reconnecting with her father, she uses her new found sewing skills to sew her dad a stuffed duck by hand with a little hat that matched his…. The duck was lopsided and awkwardly stuffed but Lucifer loved it nonetheless and put her gift on a literal pedestal. And yes, this did make her continue using her poor sewing skills to sew little stuffed animals for all the hotel’s residents.

After learning about Sir Pentious’ crush on Cherri and Angel’s crush on Husk, she sewed them both little stuffies. Angel’s was a cat that, despite its odd shaped and poor stitching, did kinda resemble the hotel’s bartender, and Sir pentious got a little pink bomb stuffie.

Aside from Vaggie and her father, Charlie is closest to Sir Pentious.

Charlie is the one to propose to Vaggie.

Despite her childlike drawing that most see during her pitch for the hotel and her planning on the wall when she has her miniature breakdown, the princess of hell is actually a rather talented artist and she painted the portrait of Sir Pentious for his memorial after his death during the battle against the angels.

In an attempt to bond with Angel Dust, Charlie asked him to go shopping with her to update her wardrobe. She was worried about the things Angel would pick out for her at first, but rather than shopping, Angel showed her designs he had sketched out himself for her. She was so excited she commissioned him to actually make a few of them. She goes to him before actually going shopping now.

Although she is known for being kind and avoiding conflict when possible, after finding Angel and Cherri having one of their girls nights and watching one of their favorite shows, Charlie became obsessed with crappy reality shows with great amounts of drama that end in violence and screaming matches.

After Dazzle’s death, Charlie started letting Razzle sleep in bed with her and Vaggie since she often heard the little demon goat sniffling as he slept alone for the first time since his creation. Vaggie couldn’t say no when faced with a depressed little demon goat and her girlfriend’s puppy-dog eyes.

Charlie isn’t a big drinker and rarely ever actually drinks, but on the rare occasions she does, it’s usually a game night activity with the others and she usually ends up being the type of tipsy/drunk that causes her to giggle at everything and then end up falling asleep in the most awkward places and uncomfortable positions. Pretty much everyone has taken a turn carrying the sleeping princess to her room or to her girlfriend to return her when this happens.

Charlie took first aide classes to be able to go out after each yearly extermination to try to help those who had been injured in during the the angelic attack. She only stopped to try to focus on the hotel, but plans to try to get back into it once she has more support for the hotel and it’s guests, even trying to convince her dad to go with her.

Unbeknownst to everyone except her partner, Charlie has nightmares about the fight between everyone at the hotel and the angels. She knows fighting was necessary, but she can’t help but wonder how things could’ve turned out if they were able to come to a peaceful resolution.

She writes short, silly stories…. And sometimes little romantic scenarios between her and Vaggie.

Within the seven years her mom has been gone, Charlie has still tried to call her everyday, leaving voicemails about every milestone she’s reached so far. She’s had one–sided conversations with her mother’s voicemail about the start of the hotel, her relationship, and even her getting back into a better place in the relationship she has with her dad. She hasn’t heard back, but she knows her mother is checking them messages because the voicemail box never gets full. It gives her hope despite not hearing her mother’s voice aside from the short voicemail message.

#fizziepop thoughts #vivziepop #hazbin hotel #hazbin headcanons #charlie morningstar #charlie hazbin hotel #charlie x vaggie #lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel lilith #charlie being charlie #charlie is hopeful for so much good #she's precious

[hunterbunter3000]

Krueger being a seat sniffer isn’t shocking tbh 💀 that man def already picked out the names of his and Sweetheart’s future kids and wedding plans detailed in a binder (is he manifesting or delusional; who knows lol!).

He also def has a shrine dedicated to Sweetheart openly in his room, atleast the other boys have the decency to hide their shrines in their closet 😤😂

LMAOOO STOP THATS SO HIM (AND FUCKING EVERYONE ELSE)

He has like- three binders and two notebooks he has for Sweetheart and his future with her. Like it's just FILLED with where they would live, how many kids they would have, tHEIR NAMES, the colleges they would go to, the house he wants to get when they get married, THE WEDDING

MANS IS EVEN PLANNING FOR THEIR RETIREMENT LIKE-- KRUEGER??? he's delulu and manifesting for this to happen!! Let's cheer him on! ✨️🙏 PFFTT-

And yes. He has a shrine of Sweetheart. OBVIOUSLY. THE MOMENT YOU WALK IN its right there in your face. It's sitting on a small table-like stand and it's FILLED with framed pictures of Sweetheart and heart shaped candles around them. There's a long frame with gold on it, and inside of it is a nail set he got her his first time ever (that was three years ago 💀) She told him it was coming off, and she was so sad because he got it for her (he fell in love with her more because of that) so he helped her get them off, and he told her that he'll throw them away.

S I K E

once she left he threw them in his pocket so fast and ran off to his room 💀💀 and then there's a pedestal on the table, and it has a small, marble bust of Sweetheart he paid someone to do on etsy (HE LOVES ETSY IM NOT CHANGING MY MIND) and what's crazy is that all of its glued down to the table, and there's a button behind it, so he presses that button when Sweetheart comes around and the table top flips, being empty and he places magazines on the clean top 🧍‍♀️ THE MAN HAS A SECRET CONTRAPTION FOR HIS SHRINE

(You can't deny the fact that he prays to it as well. You CANT)

He's down horrifically bad. He wants her sO BADLY

well get tf in line BIG BOY CAUSE SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE

They don't really have shrines like Krueger (because he's delusional) but everyone does have a picture of Sweetheart or some sort of gift she's made them somewhere in their room. Or on them.

Like Alejandro has a small gold locket of Sweetheart he wears around his neck and NEVER TAKES IT OFF-- and when he's about to go on a mission, he kisses the locket, says a small prayer and puts it under his shirt, so he knows that he's protected and has someone to go back to (why am I making myself cry)

Rudy has a picture of Sweetheart framed with a letter she sent him on his desk with the little things she's made him. He reads the letter every time he misses her (WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF)

Ghost wears a braided friendship bracelet Sweetheart made him. (Its black and blue with lil skulls) He hides it on his left wrist with his glove, but he still wears it. When he's not around Sweetheart, he plays with the ties and smiles

Soap has like a little collage of pictures of Sweetheart and him on a corkboard. They take pictures when they're in a new country or state and collect weeds of flowers and give it to each other (SO CUTE I LOVE SOAP) and his sketchbook is FILLED of Sweetheart-- like he remembers what she looks like so much he sketches her from memory. And he uses a separate sketchbook for her, he calls it "Sweet's Looks".

Gaz only has one picture of her, and it's on his phone. It's Sweetheart cuddled up on his side, hand on his chest while watching a movie. It's obviously his home screen wallpaper (not his lock screen he can't handle that) he also has a little basket of different rocks Sweetheart has given him because she has a little basket of rocks he has given her as well (they're birds I tell ya)

Price has a photo of her in his hat. That's why he never lets anyone touch it, and his heart beats a little quicker when Sweetheart wears is hat cause he's nervous she's gonna see the picture (she has, and it's her and Brutus together and she squeals everytime in her mind)

Roach has a picture of Sweetheart taped to a bear. 🧍‍♀️ don't really wanna go into that one--

Alex has like- one of those photo booth type of pictures. Yk the ones that come in threes or fours. They went to a mall and Sweetheart HAD to get some. Alex uses his as a bookmark.

Now Horangi is like Krueger. He DOES have a shrine but it's in his closet. You will NEVER SEE IT.

König would have a shrine in his closet as well, but it's SMALL. Like two pictures and a good luck letter she wrote to him when he was on a mission. He's so soft for her good lord.

Graves has like.... I don't know a paperclip? That Sweetheart gave him? Think he still has that pen that Sweetheart forgot to take back. Still counts.

#i do graves so dirty HAHAHA #cod headcanons #modern warfare #modern warefare 2 headcanons #mw2 headcanons #call of duty headcanons #john price #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #horangi #konig #philip graves #sebastian krueger #gary roach sanderson #alex keller #kyle gaz garrick #alejandro vargas #rodolfo rudy parra #black fem reader #black reader #cod oc #black!reader #fem!reader #cod imagine #task force 141 x y/n #141 sweetheart headcanons #141 sweetheart #hunter's ask lounge ☕️

[revelisms]

Braindumping about Silco and Vi, because these two are such fantastic narrative foils for each other—and, in the same breath, completely cut from the same cloth.

I keep wishing they had more scenes together, another square-off, something to put them head-to-head—because there's so much potential for them to counteract the layers of each other.

At the root of it all, Vander's looming between them, this monolith of a presence that ties their pasts together. But above that, still, we have Jinx—who not only is their driving tension, but their greatest possibility for reconnection.

Here, we have Vander's daughter—someone who, for all intents and purposes, has become what he wanted, but who has also been someone he saw too much of himself in; who he did his best to reshape, instead of enable, and who put him on a pedestal, and truly saw him as hers, more than perhaps anyone (except, well, Silco).

Vi treasured Vander, fully looked up to him as her father—and losing him shattered her. In between all the layers of it, there's this underlying thread in his actions towards her, a tension that just sits with her through Act 1—Do as I say, not as I do (or, rather, as I did).

Here, we also have Vander's partner—someone who knew him before, knew what he was, what he resented, and what he became, instead; and who bears the scars of what all their fallout grew to be. Someone who holds the memory of him tangibly, in multiple respects, as though it is something he physically cannot sever: Vander's knife, the Drop—and even, in some ways, Jinx.

Silco is still clinging to the idea of Vander, throughout the entire series. To the potential in their reunion at the cannery; to the reassurance of what he knew him to be (I knew you still had it in you; Vander wasn't the man you thought he was); to this need he has to still speak to him, even after everything.

But Vi was raised with the burden of being the eldest; being the one most capable of providing protection—and, as a consequence, with the burden of responsibility.

She's not only a sister to Jinx. She's a guardian to her—and in many respects, a stand-in mother. And Silco, as a surrogate father, is standing right in the middle of that. A roadblock between "Powder," as Vi knows her sister as, and "Jinx," as Silco knows his daughter to be.

Right at the forefront, we have so much conflict here. Vi is so similar to Vander, to the point that she is nearly his spirit incarnate—so much so that having her resurface from a presumed grave just sets fuel to fire for a vendetta Silco has never been able to snuff out.

But beneath that—far beneath that—they have so much in common. Vi's headstrong rebuttals in Act 1 about going against Piltover and striking them down, about being made to feel lesser her whole life and needing to fight against it, just sings with Silco's anger in the cannery (You'd die for the cause, but you won't fight for one?).

These are two kindred spirits, two revolutionaries willing to do anything for their city and those they love, and who aren't afraid to fight for it. Who want to fight for it.

But trapped between it all, we have Jinx. Someone Vi is not willing to sacrifice (i.e., her memory of Powder), and who Silco, by the end of the series, isn't willing to sacrifice, either (i.e., his loyalty to Jinx).

Vi, of course, could never fathom Silco being a father to Powder (how could she, after he is the reason Vander was taken from her?)—and looks for justifications for her hatred, in everything he does.

But the unfortunate truth of the matter is that for all Vander cherished and nurtured Vi as a vision of himself—so has Silco, to Jinx. He sees himself in her. He has empowered her, cherished her. He is so incredibly tender with her, in his own ways. And—for all his absolute faults, his skewed morals, his tunnel-visioned zealousy to achieve Zaun—he is a good father to Jinx, just as Vander was a good father to Vi.

The question I keep finding myself mulling over, though, is whether these two could find elements of that, once again, in each other.

There are so many things Silco isn't—not only in Vander's shadow, but simply in the character that he is. He doesn't come in swinging; he plots, he strategizes, he fights with words. He isn't a warm presence, or a jovial one; he's chilling, he's dry, he's distanced. There are countless contradictions one can draw between the two of them—and so many layers one can tease apart, on how their opposites attracted each other, how they worked (a balance that will no longer ever be).

But there are so many things Silco is. He's critical, he's fiercely rational, he knows how to weave a crowd around his finger with a single intonation. He admires the outcasts, the scrappers, those that have dredged through society to claw for what they can. He surrounds himself with them—and he operates alongside them, as an equal as much as an usurper.

He's a flavor of parenthood Vi didn't receive, but could have—the one that would have validated her need to fight; who would have taught her that strength comes in numbers, not in one's single ability to protect; who would have seen her snarkiness, her quick wit on her feet, and taught her to use it to her leverage.

The tragedy of the whole series is that Jinx needs them both to have balance in her life—to keep the tether of her child self and her trauma from splitting her apart at the seams—yet for Silco and Vi, as the narrative destines them for (and as it destined Silco and Vander for), any semblance of a connection between them is doomed for destruction.

There's too much they hold fiercely to themselves, in their own traumas, that they cannot set down—even for the sake of Jinx's needs. They are equally selfish, in that way. They want the version of Vander that they are not willing to let go of; and they want the version of Jinx that they know her to be.

But they could change. They could.

Silco did, by the end. Chose his daughter, his legacy, over the cause, over his vision of progress. And Vi did, too. Chose "peace," chose to set down the gauntlets, chose politics (and—arguably—complacency, in the same way Vander did) as the path forward.

But what if they set it all down, for Jinx? What if they became what she needed, on both sides? A father who sees her, nurtures her, like Vander saw and nurtured Vi—and a sister who loves and protects her, like Vi loved and protected Powder; who could learn, maybe, to love and protect "Jinx," too?

And maybe—just maybe—Silco and Vi could learn to appreciate each other, for all their surface hatreds. Find mentorship, find balance again, in each other. And through it, Vi could learn that protection, responsibility, isn't the only quality to strive for. That even she can be nurtured again, too.

#yes this is rapidly becoming the entire basis of heron blue and yes this is the central premise of the WIP i'm working on #shhh #listen these two are just #hhGHGHGH #silco and jinx have that special dysfunctional flavor of daddy issues out the roof #but let's just talk about vi with all that for a second #like???? #yes she will loathe silco until her deathbed for taking vander from her but like...vander gave this girl parentification issues for DAYS #there's some complications big time on both sides #arcane #rambles #arcane meta #arcane vi #arcane silco #arcane vander #i know i have completely left caitlyn out of the equation here #honestly - i could see their relationship developing more...genuinely's not the right word but? #separate from the context of vi being freed from prison? #something that comes more naturally from them seeing each other in their own contexts/working environments #and admiring/appreciating each others' opposites all the more for it #also just like #this is what jinx NEEDS it is the whole shakespearian tragedy of the entire conflict with these three #and the total angst ball of what that *could* be is just divine

[dracowars]

Can you please do a Draco×reader... After the war when they are going to get married in a month or two and she tells him that she can't conceive as she's infertile and feels terribly bad and want to call off the marriage... But Draco comforts her and tell that their are many options out their for having a kid and she don't need to think about the society... Do only if your comfortable... Thank you ☺️

strongest | draco malfoy

pairing: draco x reader

word count: 1,3k

summary: where y/n tells draco she can’t conceive

a/n: i hope i could make this justice <3

warnings: angst, mentions of infertility, mentions of pregnancy

universe: harry potter

Turning in all different directions in front of the large mirror framed with silver ornaments, you contemplate your form. Dressed entirely in white, you meet the eyes of a bride whose sadness is almost unbearable. The white veil fastened in the bride’s hair falls to the ground behind her and combines with the long lace train of wedding dress.

Again and again, your gaze and your hands wander to your abdomen, your palms absently stroking your belly while dark memories make their way into your thoughts.

“Y/N will give birth to an heir to the Malfoy family.”

“Y/N is perfectly suited to continue the Malfoy bloodline.”

“She will make us happy with a boy.”

“She will make us all proud.”

Exhaling heavily, a tear runs down your cheek, which you immediately wipe away with your thumb and take a closer look at the woman in the mirror in front of you. She will never make anyone proud, you tell yourself. She just can’t.

The dull knock on the door startles you and you quickly take a last look in the mirror before you get down from the small platform and walk barefoot towards the door. As soon as you open it a crack, you meet your fiancé’s content eyes.

“Draco! You can’t see me like this yet!”, you cry out indignantly and hide your body behind the door so that only your head is sticking out around the corner.

“I am sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you, but we should choose the wedding cake when you are ready”, he says with a smile at the sight of you, his future wife. The affection he has for you is clearly written all over his face and he does not even try to hide it. Not then, not now.

“Give me a moment and I will come downstairs”, you nod in agreement, lean the door ajar and slip out of the expensive wedding dress as carefully as you can, removing the veil from your hair while doing so. Quickly, you throw on your dark dressing gown, which hugs your body just in the right spots.

Before you can leave the room, however, your inner self pulls you back to the large mirror, in which you look at yourself from the top to the bottom again. You do not notice how Draco, who has now opened the door wider while waiting, is watching you.

“You are so beautiful”, he breathes, completely in love as he sneaks up on you, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind so you now both look at each other through the mirror. He rests his chin on your shoulder and his eyes meet yours in your reflection. His hands slowly slide over your body and finally rest on your stomach, which suddenly puts your entire body on high alert.

All of a sudden, you reflexively push Draco, who has just planted kiss after kiss on your bare neck, away from you with unintentionally much force.

“Don’t”, you say so softly you can barely hear it yourself. Concern then spreads across your fiancé’s face after he sees your devastated form and he cautiously takes another step towards you, this time one level down since you are still standing on the pedestal.

“Are you alright, sweetheart? What’s wrong?”, he asks you concerned, his eyes giving you clear indications that he does not understand what is going on and why you are suddenly reacting like this when he has not actually done anything. And that is what hurts you the most. He immediately looks for the fault in himself, what he might have done wrong that he caused such a reaction in you. What he does not know, however, is that you are the one at fault.

“I don’t think I can do this, Draco”, you admit, slumping down at the end of the huge four-poster bed, your face in your hands. Your heart is pounding in your throat and your hands are shaking as fear washed through your veins. You always wanted to hide this vulnerable side of you from him, but you can no longer even control your body and your thoughts when he touches you, let alone looks at you.

“What do you mean by that?”, Draco asks carefully, and you feel the mattress next to you sag a little as he sits down next to you. You do not even have to see him to know the worry is all over his features. In his voice, however, you can hear fear as well as concern. “Please, Y/N. Talk to me or I can’t help you. Is it about.. the wedding?”

His words make you laugh out a little humorlessly, followed closely by a deep sob as you finally look up and search for his hands, which you then clasp with yours on your lap to reassure the both of you. For him to even consider that you would not want to marry him is completely silly considering that there is nothing you would rather do in this world. But he does not know that and everything he sees at this moment gives him the wrong signals. His fiancée seemingly collapsing for no reason because her future husband touched her.

“.. do you not love me anymore?”, Draco speaks up insecurely and you feel him squeeze your hands a little more to reassure himself that you are still here, even though he is absolutely not sure for how long you will be.

“I love you with all my heart and more than anything else in this world”, you reply immediately, and you can clearly see how his stature relaxes a little. A small, sad smile creeps onto your lips before you look away and, freeing yourself from his clenching grip, you smooth the velvet fabric of your dressing gown with one of your hands.

“Then what is it? What is bothering you, darling?”

“I- So- This wedding-“, you stutter out, not sure how to put it, while simultaneously fighting the urge to fall into his arms and cry. You have already lost far too many tears, which is why you look at the ceiling and quickly blink them away as they threaten to fall. With the tip of your ring finger, emblazoned with your brilliant engagement ring, you gently dab the skin under your eyes before taking in a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself for what lies ahead. If you can even prepare for it.

“I can’t wait to be a part of this family and to call you my husband, Draco. It’s just.. I know there are certain expectations of me, but what if I can’t meet them? What if I just.. can't?”, you breathe softly, seeing Draco frown, not really understanding what you are trying to get at. “You are the heir to the Malfoy family and at some point, you will need an heir as well. Your family wants me to give you a child. But I can’t.”

A sense of relief takes over your body after you finally say those terribly heavy words out loud, lifting some of the load off your shoulders after all these years that you hid this secret. In Draco’s eyes you meet sadness and at first wonderment, which is quickly replaced by acceptance and pure adoration.

“I would never end things with you just because you can’t give me a child, Y/N. I don’t love you for that, but for the person you are. My parents might want an heir so they can rest assured that their empire is in good hands, but never in my life would that affect how I feel about you”, Draco replies earnestly, running his thumb over the soft back of your hand. “I love you and if we actually want a child because we want it, then there are other ways we can. We can make it happen.”

“D-Draco.”

“I am incredibly proud of you for telling me, sweetheart. I can’t even imagine how much you must have suffered under this extreme burden”, he smiles at you encouragingly and gently strokes a strand of your hair behind your ear, resting his warm pam on your cheek. “You are the strongest woman I have ever met, and I can’t wait until you are all mine.”

#draco malfoy #draco lucius malfoy #draco malfoy os #draco malfoy one shot #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy fanfic #draco malfoy ff #draco malfoy imagines #draco malfoy fic #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco malfoy angst #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy one shots #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x y/n #draco fluff #draco angst #draco os #draco one shot #draco one shots #draco ff #draco fic #draco fanfic #draco fanfiction #draco imagine #draco imagines #draco x reader #draco x y/n #hp imagine #hp imagines

[queeoretician]

Initial thoughts on The Unwanted Guest below the cut:

Well, damn. There sure is a lot going on here, and I'm all about it.

Front and centre is the concept of the permeability of the soul, and there's so damn much to chew on around that. Then we have Dulcie! Dulcie! She and Pal finally get to talk, both dead but still kicking! She would have liked Gideon! And we get more direct insight into Ianthe's psychology, which is a nasty little treat.

The first place my mind went was to Paul - if Pal and Cam were already experiencing memory transference, then maybe they saw some kind of soul merger as inevitable, and that was another push towards doing it intentionally, doing it right. But writing it down now I'm less sure of that inference. And the fact that Pal and Dulcie got to talk, really talk, was both wonderful and all the more bittersweet if (I'm assuming) Pal's and Cam's individual souls no longer exist to reunite with Dulcie in Alecto. I have to say, when I first read Nona I didn't really get why people found the birth of Paul to be so sad, but I've come around on it since then. (I should write more about that sometime...)

Regarding the permeability of Ianthe's soul, one thing that occurred to me is that her genderfuckery vibes over the past two books are probably not Ianthe Tridentarius's identity, but a new thing formed of the (imbalanced) gestalt that is Ianthe Naberius. I really hope Alecto gives us more on gender and lyctorhood and soul permeability! I imagine this is all the more jarring for Ianthe with how she's so deeply anchored to her relationship with Corona, to find her ego boundaries to be permeable in relation to Babs. I firmly believe her shell-shocked reaction to the birth of Paul was at least in part her thinking "oh shit, did I eat the wrong person?" If she had wanted this kind of erosion of self with anyone (and I'm not sure she did), it would have been Corona. Having it happen with Babs by accident is a real slap in the face.

Which brings me back to my wild theory for Alecto - Corona will (at least try to) pull a Paul with Judith, and Ianthe will utterly lose her shit. This story really underscored just how little Ianthe understands her sister, which we already saw some of in the embassy scene. Sure, Corona isn't the flawless sword hand that Babs was, but in BoE she's shown herself to be a canny operator and a decent fighter, which Ianthe is steadfastly in denial of. At the end of the day I believe the story of Ianthe will be of someone who loved without understanding, who put her love up on a pedestal and at the same time belittled her as someone both more and less than she actually was.

Another thing that I latched onto was the argument about whether lyctors' cavaliers' souls provide a truly perpetual source of energy or not. Ianthe was pretty adamant that they do, but that honestly came across as arrogance or bravado. There's a strong parallel between lyctoral power and nuclear power, and all kinds of nuclear activity eventually reach a point past which they no longer emit appreciable energy, so I feel confident in saying that lyctoral power also diminishes over a long enough timespan. I'm less sure of whether this will come up in Alecto, though - I would be quite surprised if we saw a 100,000-year timeskip (but if we did that could be super fucking interesting).

Back to more direct applications of soul permeability, I have to imagine there's been some exchange of something between Jod and Alecto, at least before he locked her in the Tomb. That could go in all kinds of interesting directions that I haven't yet had a chance to contemplate adequately.

Speaking of Alecto, the John chapters of Nona seem like a pretty clear case of transference between her and Harrow. I wonder - were those happening concurrently with the Nona chapters? If so, it would make for a nice symmetry between Harrow and Alecto/Nona.

Either way, we've got a gross messy soul transference hookup graph with Gideon<-->Harrow<-->Alecto<-->John (gross) - I'm dying to know more about what this means for each of them (especially with Tazmuir's "if Gideon's soul is a happy meal" line from this interview).

So as usual, Aaaaaaa there's so much to chew on and so much more I want to know and I can't wait for Alecto aaaaaa...

#the locked tomb #the unwanted guest #tlt meta #tlt spoilers #the unwanted guest spoilers #ianthe tridentarius #ianthe naberius #prince ianthe naberius #palamedes sextus #dulcinea septimus #naberius tern #paul tlt #coronabeth tridentarius #crown him with many crowns #john gaius #alecto tlt #nona tlt #harrowhark nonagesimus #harrowhark the first #gideon nav #kiriona gaia

[nobodypunk]

Do you think Yuki truly loved both Kaname and zero , cause she was satisfied with zero's blood but with Kaname's blood her thirst wasn't entirely quenched ?

A Vampire Knight ask in MY inbox?? *Debby Ryan hair tuck* (Thank you I've literally been dying to talk about VK at any given moment)

So I think that Yuuki loved them both, yes. But if we're talking "True Love" I think it's a lot more nuanced than that. (I'm also going to ignore the FAMILIAL dynamics in this rant bc we already know)

Let's talk about Yuuki's relationship with Kaname:

Kaname saving Yuuki from a "bad vampire" is her first human memory. He visits on occasion and is nothing but kind, caring, if not distant towards Yuuki. Yuuki finds herself seeking out his attention and looking forward to seeing him as it's a rare treat. She has only ever known since she was small that he will a) protect her , b) be kind to her, and c) he's "not like other vampires" because he is her savior. The only identifier of his vampirism she has as a child is his fangs, other than that seemingly nothing else about him is like a vampire.

In middle school, she accidentally sees Kaname feeding on Ruka and this challenges her opinion of him "not being like other vampires". She's introduced to the reality that a) Kaname is a vampire, and b) that she does not truly know him. Much like realizing that though our parents may have raised us, though we have known people all our juvenile lives, it doesn't mean we know everything about them and the intricacies of their character; That they are people, and not the objects of affection that we have placed on a pedestal.

After this realization, Yuuki puts distance between herself and Kaname, using "-sama" and treating him differently due to her anxieties around vampirism and her glorification of his saving her (in her mind, the only thing that separates him from not being the vampire that wishes to feed on her and cause her harm, the "bad vampire").

I feel as though much of Yuuki's feelings towards Kaname at the start of her time at Cross Academy are romanticized anxiety (she has feelings of anxiety and is uncomfortable around him, but those feelings are easily mistaken for feelings of "butterflies", excitement, or attraction). She has conflict within herself: being afraid of Kaname as a vampire, not knowing his true intentions and character, as opposed to her experience of being saved and his kindness towards her. And throughout the series of events at Cross Academy, because Kaname withholds the truth from her, lies to her, and consistently gaslights her, all she has keeping her afloat is faith that he has good intentions. That's not a true or healthy relationship because there is no trust or communication between them.

It isn't until after Yuuki is turned that truth is finally being obtained and Kaname comes clean about his actions for the past 10 years. They are able to build some intimacy between them. He finally shares his vulnerable past with her, as he views this as a chance for her to unconditionally accept him. However, Yuuki remains in conflict, because he has withheld the truth for so long, and she feels personally responsible for his suffering. When she suggests they start over as equals in the relationship, Kaname takes this as her ultimate rejection of him (though they have both consistently tried to bear one another's burdens).

Kaname then sets the stage for his self sabotage and plot to indiscriminately kill all purebloods and to do so he feels he must estrange Yuuki (and Adiou) from him in order to do so uninhibited.

Kaname betrays them (or appears to, even though I feel that's almost worst) and later Yuuki confronts him that she will never abandon him. Which I find to be one of the good examples of Yuuki's love. She will love him despite that which he has done, but she still believes in stopping his destruction and holding him accountable for what he's done.

Ultimately, Kaname tells her that when they were together she couldn't smile from her heart (the motif for true love), but she was the light of his life. He then sacrifices himself for the greater good (which conveniently absolves him of everything he did prior) and he remains a monolith looming over Yuuki's life.

I think Yuuki had great love for him but do I think it qualifies as "true love"? If things had been different, I think they could have had a successful relationship, but ultimately I find them deeply incompatible. Kaname is too depressed and has 10,000 years of firmly rooted self hatred to be capable of having a relationship, and Yuuki will never truly understand him and what he went through, and has immense guilt over it. Did they have love for each other? Absolutely. Did they have trust, open communication, and all that entails with a healthy relationship? Absolutely not. I don't think that either of them could provide the other with what they needed.

Let's talk about Yuuki's relationship with Zero:

Their relationship starts as Yuuki seeing Zero suffering and she decides to be his caretaker, soothing him and stopping his self harm. She recognizes his fear and pain and can sympathize with it. They build a friendship in which they are around each other constantly, and feel comfortable to tease one another, tutor and take notes for the other, and talk about serious topics. They have a friendship. (Which I feel like Kaname and Yuuki never had)

Zero is then revealed to be a vampire to Yuuki in the most literal way, a vampire who drinks her blood. Yuuki again has her reality shattered, but takes the blame for not noticing. She catches Zero trying to unalive himself and she takes responsibility for his life upon herself. And it isn't until later, she learns that Zero will inevitably become a Level E and be ended, that she thinks of the only possible solution: to sacrifice herself to prolong his life. For me this is the ultimate example of her love, that she would put her life on the line for his (especially with her fear and anxiety about vampires).

Yuuki then tries to make their "unforgiveable, forbidden acts" as pedestrian as possible, to put Zero at ease. Zero acknowledges her suffering and takes full responsibility for it. He opens up about his past to her, and she inserts herself into the Shizuka drama to try and save him again. Zero asks her "What am I to you?" because he has always known of her feelings for Kaname, and is confused why Yuuki would sacrifice herself time and time again if she didn't have love for him. When Yuuki tries to answer this for herself, she thinks about how she doesn't want him to disappear, she wants him to smile, and how she should be afraid of Zero but she can't look away.

Zero always encourages her not to pretend or hide her feelings, which is when she asks him if she would be stronger if she was a vampire because she's been feeling insecure about her lack of identity. She's afraid that expressing this fear to Zero has hurt him, and so she WILLS HERSELF TO REMEMBER HER PAST WHICH STARTS UNRAVELLING JURI'S SPELL ON HER.

In this period, Zero does nothing but support her and offer her solutions to find the truth about her past. He tells her that his life is hers, and that she is his priority and she can burden him with her thoughts and feelings, and she has every right to do so. He helps her confront Kaname on multiple occasions.

When Zero comes to check on Yuuki in one of her hallucinations, she admits that being Zero's caretaker was her own selfish way of giving herself identity, to help her compensate for having no memories and no family.

When Yuuki is turned, Zero is blinded by his hatred. They kill Rido together but Zero is in conflict with her. He confesses his feelings, and doesn't expect her to reciprocate, and asks if her worries are gone now that the has her memories. He then promises to kill her then next time he sees her. (Spoiler alert, he doesn't) Yuuki sobs as she doesn't want to be his enemy, realizes his feelings for her, and decides to lock away her feelings about him.

Every interaction they have after that, is stumbling, and awkward. She's admitted to Kaname that her thirst cannot be quenched by him alone, that she desires Zero as well.

When she reinstates the nightclass, she still worries about him but their relationship is different, and expresses a desire that things go back to the way they were between them. They say things like "treasure yourself more" to each other, Zero still shows he cares and his intentions are not to kill her, but he's struggling with his hatred. Then Zero finds out that Kaname has puppeteered him all along, and they team up against Kaname's murder spree.

Then we have the masquerade where they pretend not to know each other, and they share a kiss. Yuuki speculates that if they were both human, that would have been the normal course of action for them. Then she takes his memory because she plans to give up her life for Kaname to be human, and she can't bear the thought of Zero thirsting for her/grieving her. Kaname admits to her that Zero's love for her wasn't orchestrated by him (which both Zero and Yuuki were uncertain about). Zero remembers like two days later, and decides to accept her for who she is, to fight WITH Kaname against the vampire hoards because he loves Yuuki more than he hates Kaname.

After Kaname dies, Zero tells Yuuki that he'll always be there for her and to take her time. He is a surrogate father to Ai, and bloodshares with Yuuki, he is EXTREMELY patient with her and her anxieties around loving after Kaname, and their relationship overall is communicative, loving, and healthy. And Zero makes her smile from the bottom of her heart.

I think that they make mistakes with each other, they've had their pit falls but overcome them, they have an understanding of one another and they ultimately love and accept one another. I think that she was able to experience true, unconditional, romantic love with Zero. Her thirst may not have been quenched fully, but Zero gave a lot more than he took in the end (honesty, communication, reciprocation, etc) .

And she still had love for Kaname after he was gone. It was a love that colored her life. Even Zero acknowledges that the way Yuuki cares for him, was learned from Kaname. It's simultaneously sad and unfair, and beautiful and romantic. We are made up of our experiences, and love in toxic relationships isn't a fault, but toxic behaviour is.

Well anyway, that's my big long rant on that.

#LONG POST #vampire knight #yuuki kuran #yuuki #yuuki cross #yuki kuran #yuki cross #zero kiryu #zero kiryuu #kaname #kaname kuran #zero #i like seeing all sides #and i'm not here for a shipping war #zeki #everyone is valid in liking the character they like and shipping the ship they ship

[incorrecttowerofgodquotes]

Gundam: The Witch from Mercury Season 2 Episode 11 Discussion

- Martin was me the entire episode, freaking the fuck out

- Eri vs Suletta is such a great fight. The two love each other, but their viewpoints and morals are on such opposite wavelengths. Eri, much like Suletta in the past, is doing everything for her mother because she wants her mom to be happy. The Eri we see is simply lines of code reconfigured into what could possibly be construed as a human being. She has Eri’s memories and feelings, but she hasn’t, can’t, grow up, unlike Suletta. Suletta loves her mom, she wants to be there for her, but she can’t accept killing people. She’s realized just how much heavy a life is and so she moves to protect it.

- Peil and the SAL have taken the mantle of final boss. If they really cared about punishing the Benerit Group, they would arrest the leaders, not shoot them with a giant fuck you laser while children are on board all while supporting the people who make nuclear child body doubles. The League is doing exactly what Delling did during the Vanadis incident, right down to the “I’ll take responsibility (but I really won’t)” shtick.

- However what’s interesting is how out of place Elan seems to be. He isn’t sitting down with the Peil ladies, he’s standing off in the corner, staring at his own reflection, and I think this shows a lot of us got his character wrong. Elan is just another child the Peil ladies are taking advantage of. He only got where he was due to sheer luck that the AI picked him, if not, he probably would have either ended up as the other body doubles or dead and discarded. It’s common with abusive parents that they’ll choose a “golden child” and use that child to put down the others, and Elan seems to fit in that mold. I hope he breaks out just like El5n and creates his own life.

- God the Schwarzette is the best fucking Gundam. Between it and Calibarn, how are they ever going to challenge it in the future? It has space rave lasers, it’s sword is the GUND bits and it can become a wing, and it has bisexual lighting.

- Lauda is too good for every one of his haters. He’s been second string to Guel for his entire life, his very name “Lauda Neill” is just a reminder of how he’s a mistress’s child. But here he proudly proclaims himself as “Lauda Jeturk.” His feelings for his brother come from both admiration and self-worthlessness. He puts his entire identity into being Guel’s brother so when Guel falters, he does as well. He wants Guel to rely on him. He wants to be his equal. He put Guel on such a high pedestal because he was everything he wanted to be.

- My poor son Guel. He’s always loved his brother, no matter the fact that they come from different mothers, but as always he has trouble understanding others. Also, we get to see a far darker part of his psyche that most others might have missed. In his fight with Shaddiq, despite being stabbed, he managed to eject and save himself, but here he waits for death. Guel has been keeping himself moving with the idea that his family still needs him, but once Lauda seemingly rejects him, he loses all that energy. He hasn’t recovered from the trauma and pain he’s been through, he’s only simply masked it. But in that moment, he’s perfectly fine with dying because he believes it would be better for everyone

- But best girl Felsi says fuck that! She reminds Guel and Lauda that the world is so much bigger than them, and that there are people who still care about them. They can’t ignore their problems, they need to talk through it. Lauda’s insecurity and Guel’s suicidal nature and guilt, these are things that can’t be held within or else they’ll bubble over and end in tragedy. Felsi the hero says cut the bullshit, and I love her so much for it. I need Felsi merch right now

- El5n was another MVP of the episode. I’m surprised just how talented he is with a gun and shoot outs. Does he have experience, either from his past life or current one? And the fact that he didn’t hesitate to get the head shot off of Prospera says so much. He’s ruthless because he has a purpose. He ain’t letting anyone die unnecessarily, but he also recognizes when the doing needs done

- And Belmeria really stepped up as well. She’s spent the entire series running away from the consequences of her actions but here she finally stands up and protects the children who have been abused by the system she supported. Her diving to protect Miorine from getting shot was beautiful, and you can tell El5n really appreciated the gesture.

- Miorine is the best wife. That’s it, that’s the tweet

- Right when Eri was about to merc Miorine and co, something interrupted them, and I believe it was Notrette, Miorine’s mom. We never learned how Miorine’s mom died, so it’s possible she also got sucked up into the data storm and resides in Quiet Zero, and that’s why Delling was working on the project. She also added a failsafe so her daughter could shut it down, one that speaks words of love. Mother of the year

- The fact that Eri’s final act is to protect her sister and mother is so sad. She never had the chance to grow up, she’s forever stuck in stasis inside a giant hunk of metal. Quiet Zero offered the hope that she could finally escape and travel the world as herself, but it still wouldn’t give her herself back. However, Suletta can still live on, and so she valiantly protects her from the big laser, giving one final smile to her little sister. I hope she can finally rest in peace.

- But will Prospera allow that. She’s watched her daughter die twice now. Everything she worked for, all the lives that were sacrificed, they now all mean nothing. The world has rejected her once again. Whether she can accept it and become a better mother to Suletta is to be seen, but I don’t think she’ll follow that path.

Really hoping we get that second half so I can see the Peil girls get fucking incinerated. Also can we paint the Schwarzette red and give it to Guel? Double the points if it’s revealed he’s bisexual.

#gundam #g witch #gundam witch from mercury #ericht samaya #suletta mercury #guel jeturk #lauda neill #prospera mercury

[bestworstcase]

thinking about summer’s epitaph again. thus kindly i scatter—it’s like

summer rose was the perfect huntress. supermom. special, qrow tells ruby. the best of us. in the poem, the speaker finds the last rose of summer still in bloom, still alive, and because it’s the only one left, plucks it—kills it—and scatters the petals. thus kindly i scatter/thy leaves o’er the bed/where thy mates of the garden/lie scentless and dead.

odd thing to put on a gravestone, isn’t it? if summer rose were really dead, i’d take it as an insinuation that raven mercy-killed her, but… summer rose is clearly not dead, and ‘the rose of summer’ means ‘summer’s rose,’ i.e. there’s a stealth pun logic for interpreting ruby as the rose, and:

i didn’t have a choice, i did what i had to do i made a sacrifice, but forced a bigger sacrifice on you i know you’ve lived a nightmare i’ve caused you so much pain but baby, please don’t do what i did i don’t want you to waste your life in vain

the speaker plucks the rose to symbolize his own despair: soon may i follow/when friendships decay/and from love’s shining circle/the gems drop away/when true hearts lie withered/and fondness is flown/oh! who would inhabit/this bleak world alone?

summer rose is a mirror—ruby’s literal reflection, in the ever after—and her allusion to this poem is reversed accordingly. she leaves her rose (ruby) behind in the circumstance described in the poem’s final stanza: friendships decay (team strq fallen apart), true hearts lie withered and fondness is flown (raven), and ruby has to inhabit this bleak world alone. i made a sacrifice but forced a bigger sacrifice on you; summer left her family behind to do what she feels is right, and condemned her daughter to grow up in the shadow of her mother’s pedestal.

yet the empathy and identification with her rose is still present and expressed through this plea for ruby not to do what summer did: i don’t want you to waste your life in vain. by being ozma’s ‘smaller soul.’

but there’s also an element here of the epitaph saying something about the ones who chose it—taiyang and qrow, presumably—and their perception of summer and what her presumed death is doing thematically. in their eyes she is the rose; she left and never came back and they at some point chose to believe that she died. symbolically, they ‘kill’ summer rose—they make her into a dead hero—and so, thus kindly i scatter.

rwby is played with the “die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain” trope in V9 with both ruby and jaune—ruby when jaune explodes at her in a manner reminiscent of his obviously biased recollection of alyx, jaune in the literal sense that he becomes a tyrant—and i think that theme is going to come to fruition in a big way with summer. because…

remember how qrow reacted when he found out raven was ‘with’ salem? his kneejerk reaction was to disown her. he lionized summer—they all did—gave her a noble hero’s death, a beloved memorial, a shining posthumous pedestal. thus kindly i scatter. she’s been with salem fourteen years. she will, presumably, have some thoughts and feelings about how she was remembered.

#the rose has thorns or something

[womanexile]

Chole or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

Your hologram stumbled into my apartment

Hands in the hair of somebody in darkness

Named Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

And I just watched it happen

As the decade would play us for fools

And you saw my bones out with somebody new

Who seemed like he would've bullied you in school

And you just watched it happen

Complicated Freak-“she got wrapped up in somebody else”

IION?-“was it over when she laid down on your couch? Was it over when he unbuttoned my blouse?”

This Love-“tossing turning, stuggled through the night with someone new”

Harry might have watched her date other people but he didn’t like it.

Happily-“you don’t understand, what you do to me when you hold his hand”

Just a Little Bit of Your Heart-“I don’t ever ask you where you’ve been and I don’t feel the need to know who your with” “I know I’m not your only but at least I’m one”

Him (HS unreleased)-“I don’t want to hear about him”

Woman-“I’m selfish, I know but I don’t ever want to see you with him” “He’s right where I should, where I should be”

Someday-“and I won’t lie, its hard seeing you with him”

If you wanna break my cold, cold heart

Just say, "I loved you the way that you were"

This could be a reference to Taylor feeling like she has to constantly reinvent herself in order to stay relevant. Him saying ‘I loved you the way that you were’ means that he didn’t need her to stay relevant, he would love anyway.

Fool’s Gold-“and in knew that you turned it on for everyone that you met”

Make My Day (HS unreleased)-“I don’t want you perfect, Don’t want you sweet, But you make my day and make my whole week”

If you wanna tear my world apart

Just say you've always wondered

You said some things that I can't unabsorb

You turned me into an idea of sorts

This suggests that he put her up on a pedestal, so that the idea of her was better than she herself was.

Trouble-“if I could have a hundred things, not one of them could compare to you”

You needed me, but you needed drugs more

Question…?-“but you were something, it was one drink after the other”

As It Was-“why are you sitting at home on the floor? What kind of pills are you on?”

Harry has several song on his album about cocaine usage and he did admit to writing some of Fine Line on psychedelic drugs.

And I couldn't watch it happen

I changed into goddesses, villains, and fools

Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules

All to outrun my desertion of you

And you just watched it

If the glint in my eye traced the depths of your sigh

Down that passage in time back to the moment

I crashed into you, like so many wrecks do

Too impaired by my youth to know what to do

She analyzes every ‘sigh’ from her partner, strolling down memory lane in search of clues that might explain his departure. Taylor questions whether she appeared ‘too much’ like previous girls (crashed into him), perhaps overly enthusiastic (too impaired by her youth)

So if I sell my apartment

And you have some kids with an internet starlet

The 1-“You meet some woman on the internet and take her home”

Right where you left me-“I’m sure that you got a wife out there, kids and Christmas but I’m unaware”

Will that make your memory fade from this scarlet maroon?

Maroon-“and I wake with your memory over me”

Like it never happened

Could it be enough to just float in your orbit?

Satellite-“I go round and round, satellite”

Can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses?

Can we watch the ghosts of us with the same reverence, admiration and respect we watch wild horses? Wild horses are beautiful in their wildness, but man always want to tame them. Can we look at them without wanting them to be anything else than exactly what they are?

This Love-“your smile, my ghost, I fell to my knees”

Two Ghosts-“We’re just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me”

…Ready for It?-“but if he’s a ghost, then I can be a phantom”

Cooler in theory, but not if you force it to be

It just didn't happen

The 1-“and if you wanted me, you really should’ve showed”

So if you wanna break my cold, cold heart

Say you loved me

And if you wanna tear my world apart

Say you'll always wonder

'Cause I wonder

Will I always

Will I always wonder?

The 1-“I persist and resist the temptation to ask you if one thing had been different would everything be different today?”

Cardigan-“I knew you’d haunt all of my what-if?”

Question…?-“does it ever feel like everything just like second best after that meteor strike”

Guilty As Sin?-“they don’t know how you’ve haunted me so stunningly”

Super Pretty(HS unreleased)-“I was waiting here, my love, After all these years, do you think of me, In the way I think of you?

#haylor #taylor swift #harry styles #the tortured poets department #chloe or sam or sophia or marcus

[kirimoochi]

this is how it feels, to fall in love with you (pt 2).

₊˚ ᗢ kazuha x gn!reader, angst with a happy end.

⤷ based on d4vd's "this is how it feels."

The Raiden Shogun had tried everything in her power to break through the ice. She had hundreds of her soldiers line up with their weapons, hammering away at them with everything they had. She thought with their years of experience and training, they might have been able to break at least a single petal. But at last, even with months of trying, it never chipped. Even during hot summers, the ice never melted. It only rained small droplets of snowflakes. A special kind that would last a little longer than a regular one. 

Mothers and children found it interesting to see that they were shaped like maple leaves. The flower would always drop more and more during autumn. They began to wonder if the person inside once loved someone. And loved someone you did, dearly. As you live in his memories, he does in yours. 

The Shogun notes that it was a hydrangea flower. It was beautiful and prideful, every flower surrounding you seemed so meticulously crafted that even the wisest and oldest of Inazumans couldn’t replicate it. She understands from her scholars that they mean forgiveness. However, she does not know who it is directed to. She is certain that you were not begging her for forgiveness. For you were a hindrance to her plan. A thorn in her side to this idea of eternity. And now you remain encased in layers upon layers of ice, unable to be broken free from your prison.

Perhaps you were asking your husband for forgiveness. She laughs to herself. Someone of your noble status cares so much to a dying clan, sacrificing not only your family’s legacy but also your dignity for a fugitive. In this unbreakable ice, you will remain still for months, years even. It was humorous. She laughed a little while longer but couldn’t help but feel her voice die out shortly. A pitiful koto player who dreamed of playing the shamisen on open waves was reduced to nothing more but a statue placed on display. It was a cruel fate, she admits. To put you on a pedestal for all who oppose her. Though it was a lesson that needed to be taught. 

A sakura-colored fox likes to whisper in her ears though. Stories of your love for the autumn-colored man. She thinks of it as a tragic tale. Two lovers destined to be far apart. It has become popular with the small children and youth that she decides to push a small book about it. The Shogun dares not to dabble in such things. She does not see the meaning behind your sacrifice. Nor does she understand your desire past eternity. 

She presses her hand against the surface, feeling slightly sentimental. There was a strange sensation coming from you. Though your body may have frozen the tips of her fingers when she pushed hard against it, it sent shivers down her spine. The kind she could only feel when beside her beloved. She notes that beneath these layers of ice was the love that she longed for. Love that she couldn’t comprehend. When she stared at your floating body, she couldn’t help but press against the front of her chest, searching for a heartbeat. 

She wonders if these visions, blessed by her and her so-called acquaintances, possessed more than just control over these elements. If they could breathe with life just as humans did. Or even share aspirations. They could reflect a person’s inner being, something that she as a god couldn’t see. Perhaps this is why the Cryo Archon gave you her acknowledgment. She must have seen something in your future. Did she predict this lonesome future for you? Or did she save you? Was it your love that kept you away from the Shogun’s grasp?

Whatever the answer was, you would remain here, waiting for someone. 

When Kazuha steps foot into Inazuma once more, alongside the Traveler, he felt the winds call to him. They were louder than ever and so he decides to enter the courtyard with a small disguise. Tugging the large straw hat over his eyes, he glances around the small stores.

A lot of things haven’t changed, and he doesn’t think of it as something to be proud of. Shops that he has grown to love, and storefronts that housed hundreds of customers have all stayed the same. When he peers to the left, the smell of sweet dango entices him. It brings back memories from when you and he would walk through brightly lit festivals. 

Your hand once held onto his tightly as you smiled. He still remembers the beautiful yukata you wore during the summer, and how the moon shined a light on your skin. The feeling of your warm hand wrapped around his calloused fingers felt lovely. Your laughter had always cheered him up no matter how ugly you might think it sounds. Memories crept up on his mind and it took everything in his power to push them at bay. He wants to remain focused on this mission. For it would dictate the future of Inazuma. 

A small child pushes past him with a giggle. He watches as they held up a small snowflake, shaped like a maple leaf. His heart stops beating for a moment. The boy leaps up into his mother's arms as she coddles him, plucking the leaf from his hand and raising it to the sun. It slowly melts away as the two of them smile and leave. And with this, his legs push him towards the sound that grows louder. If he could describe what it sounded like, he would have said it was someone crying. He rushes past the crowd and reaches the center of Inazuma, where you rest peacefully encased in ice.

His eyes widen in horror as he runs towards your body. Men call out to him for his reckless behavior but his ears are deaf to the noise. His hands press against the surface desperately as he grows teary. If you were to see him now, would you still cry? Would you get mad at him for abandoning you? For not doing enough to get you off this wretched island? The cold doesn’t bother him as much as the ache in his heart. If anything, it was comforting. The only thing he could have felt from you. 

So this is where you were. 

Trapped in this ice structure for months on end. Alone. Crying. You were put on display for Inazuma to see. For them to receive your love that was meant only for him. He could feel his knees grow weak as he leans his forehead against the statue. His body was beginning to feel weak and his stomach was growing ill. He resists the urge to throw up. 

You look beautiful as ever. Even when you were caked in dirt and grime, when your clothes stayed the same as that night, you haven’t changed. Perhaps you’ve aged just slightly but it was nothing compared to your radiant smile that he so desperately wishes to see. Oh, how he wishes he could hear your shamisen. For those fingers to entangle themselves in his blond locks. To hold him close when he cries. 

He has never once forgotten about you. When he recites his poetry, he thinks of you. When he presses a leaf against his lips to create a melodious tune, it was for you. The Captain of the Crux Fleet had once asked him if he loved someone as dearly as he loved freedom. 

It did not take him long to conclude that he had loved you. Perhaps since the day you met him in the crowds after your performance. When the two of you shook hands underneath the glorious moonlight, or when he reached out, your name ripping itself from his throat on that very night, there were many times he fell in love with you. Days felt lonesome without your laughter. Hours were long without your songs. And minutes felt deafening. 

But he is here now, back in Inazuma to oppose the Raiden Shogun. Here to create the dream that you and he thought of. A place that the two of you could live freely in. He wants to hear your shamisen once more. To see you play over open skies with nothing more but a smile on your lips. He wants to see the look in your eyes when they shine with determination. 

He presses his lips against your icy statue, swearing that by the end of it all, he would return for you. Even if the lands were to shake with thunder, or the ground splits in half, he will remain by your side. Just as you’ve been waiting for him, he will wait for you. 

He leaves with a slight smile. Thankful that he was able to see you. 

The day the Vision Hunt Decree ended was the time Inazuma felt the blossom of a flower. The Raiden Shogun raised her head to the sky in interest, letting out a laugh as she stared down at the Kaedehara clan’s child. The look in her eyes said enough about the situation. The land of eternity watched as icy maple leaves fell from the clouds. 

When one lands on Kazuha’s hands, he took no time to run to the center of the courtyard. Traveler and his companion Gorou only looked at each other before chasing after the man. The two heard stories and were desperate to see if you had awoken from your slumber. 

Gasps and cries echoed throughout the land. The blond-haired man pushes through the crowd and held back his cries when he sees that the ice was melting. Water filled the courtyard as women and children watched in awe as soldiers break through the statue, freeing themselves. They are wet and confused, they look around as people gathered around.

Families ran towards their men, mothers holding their sons in their arms as they wept in joy. They were alive. Unscratched and scared of the future, but alive nonetheless. After months of praying they reunited with their children and fathers. It was a happy sight, the Traveler comments. What they were truly interested in though, was the way Kazuha slowly approached your figure. 

He pressed his hand against your exposed cheek, gliding his thumb against it softly as he whispers. From the waist down, the ice was still melting. He pushes back your hair to see your face. He sees that your chest was slowly breathing in the air once more, and it only takes a few more seconds until you open your eyes. With trembling hands, you reach out to hold onto him.

“You came back,” You whispered, albeit with a weak voice.

“I wouldn’t leave without you,” He pushes his forehead against yours, the warmth of his body comforting you. “I missed you.”

You laugh, unable to contain the happiness that has blossomed in your heart. He pulls you close to him as you smile brightly. He has grown much older now. A lot more mature than the last time you saw him. And you think that long hair fits him well. 

Holding onto your hand he kisses the ring on your finger, looking deep into your eyes as he smiles: “I love you.” 

A cheeky look you have. Pushing yourself forward, you wrap your arm around his neck, pressing his lips against yours for the first time in years. He felt his body melt alongside the ice. His now muscular arms reach for your waist, tugging you out of the ice as you both bask in the sunlight. 

“I love you too.” 

Tags! @maehemthemisfit ♡♡♡

#₊˚ ᗢ kirimoochi #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #kazuha #kazuha kaedehara x reader #kazuha kaedehara #kazuha x reader