#he shouldnt have gotten hit like this but its so funny | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

1990jeevas · 3 years

Note

I love it when people talk about things they're passionate about, tell me something cool!! Anything you want, just something you find interesting or want to talk about :D

hello anon my beloved, I am in a bad mood so you will be receiving a passionate, yet lowkey of pissy rant about why villainizing bakugou makes me wanna vomit and its NOT just because I'm a dumbass kinnie :)

tws: child abuse (emotional and physical), near death expierences, bullying, kidnapping, suffocation, lots of trauma in general tbh. if you've seen bnha then basically just keep all the general triggering plot stuff in mind incase i missed any warnings

also, note: I havent caught up on bnha in a minute, I'm at like the start of the war arc but I barely remember shit there tbh so like. probs missing new stuff. also bnha spoiler warnings lol

so, for starters, the homie bakugou has like,, a good handful of issues that come from his childhood that explain why he's an ass. he was always praised and never actually reprimanded for being a twat which led to him having a huge ego that ended up fucking him over majorly. this ego was something that his mother acknowledged him having, but literally didnt try to fix it with anything other than violence. see here:

like, instead of trying to help him, she hits and insults him, which is probably what led to his weird inferiority/superiority complex. being constantly told by others that you're outstanding and one day you'll be a top hero because you're rude and aggressive and then going home and being hit by your mother for those exact same behaviors is bound to fucking confuse a child.

so like, now that we've established that its definetly canon that his mother (parents? I think he said parents at some point but masaru doesn't seem like the type so 🤷) hits him though we don't know how much or how often (though if bakugou was as much of a little shit back then ((which as far as we've seen- he was)) then it was probably often), lets talk about how regardless of all that 1) hitting your kids as "discipline" not only doesn't work but is abusive lol like idc if it's spanking/popping them on the mouth for talking shit, slapping them across the face "on occasion", etc. shits not okay 2) hitting your kids!!!! does not work!!!!!!!! it is literally PROVEN not to work!!!!!!!! hitting a child who has done something wrong doesnt teach them to stop doing something it teaches them to be scared of you, which will cause the child to withdraw, removing part of their support system (assuming said abusive parents would even offer that up) and will most likely lead to them thinking they're a bad person, not that their actions were bad, which are two different things. so, ya know, that would clearly have an effect on a kid. like, as someone with a mother who reminds me all too much of mitsuki: I have acted like a complete shitbag and taken my anger out on people to feel better in the past because of the way my mother treated me. though it was nowhere near what bakugou did, I still know first fucking hand what a mother hitting and insulting her child will do, especially if they have no proper outlet for that (friends, a safe place to vent) which bakugou never fucking had.

theres also the fact that just talking to your kid the way mitsuki does (saying it's his fault he was kidnapped because he's weak, all while hitting him) is not??? okay?????? ive seen people arguing that this was just a joke in poor taste but like her son was KIDNAPPED and even if it was a "joke" there's literally NO WAY that would EVER?? BE FUNNY??????? she just sounds like the kind of parent who at the very least says shit without thinking that would traumatize bakugou (because being told right after being kidnapped it's your fucking fault by your mother is absolutely traumatizing) but it comes across as her being emotionally abusive.

mitsukis character as a whole comes across as a shitty mom who doesn't realize she's a shitty mom and thinks bakugou being an ass isn't at least partially her fault even though she's admitted to realizing he has always had an ego problem and doing nothing to fix it except for hitting and yelling which obviously did nothing but make him just as loud and violent as she is.

this is obviously not the entire reason why he's a dick but he was never properly taught that the shit he was doing wasn't okay and people not stopping it and/or praising him endlessly even tho he was a bully is basically the same as encouraging it, thank you very much.

moving on from that, let's talk about bakugous other traumas and how he naturally responds to them. hint: it's with either full blown panic or a fight response (verbal or physical, though usually physical. also sometimes it's the panic followed by the fight response.)

so far in bnha (keep in mind that I am not caught up, I've only read up to the beginning of the war arc and i barely remember those bits so) bakugou has...

nearly died via sludge villain (he was unable to move and was being suffocated to death- keep this in mind)

lost for the first time ever and against deku of all people (this nearly sent him into a full blown panic attack, likely because of that sexy little inferiority/superiority complex combo. think of this as like. gifted kid burnout lite. he has always been the best of the best and now suddenly he is being beaten by somebody who has always been weaker than him, which immediately makes him start thinking he was never actually that good, he's actually a fucking failure, a goddamn fraud)

won the sports festival by default (bakugou counts this as yet another failure because todoroki didnt try his best. had bakugou lost to todoroki full strength, he would've taken 2nd place with a bit of bitching, but he still wouldve taken it rather than refuse the medal as it would be a reminder that he failed. instead of accepting that like UA shouldve, the staff chained and muzzled him on live television and then had all might, his fucking idol, force the medal into his mouth. remember the sludge villain incident and how he couldnt move and was suffocating to death? yeah.)

been kidnapped because of the way he reacted to winning during the sports festival (he was aggressive and tried to refuse the medal because he felt he didnt deserve it and was then retraumatized by being chained up and muzzled. his "villainous attitude" was a fucking trauma response, do not tell me otherwise)

was then chained up once again by the LOV after being kidnapped,,, do we see the "retraumatize bkg" theme yet?

"ended all might" (he literally blames himself for all mights retirement because had he just not have been weak, all might wouldve had more time, right?)

my point with all of these is that bakugou has been severely traumatized and has then had his trauma responses (aggression, fight) used to further demonize him. not all people with trauma react the fucking same and the way the fandom just refuses to acknowledge anger as a valid form of trauma response is gross as hell.

moving away from that topic, bakugou has literally never had any actual friends, they all just used him and didn't care about him which absolutely will fuck up a kid, especially one who already has all that other shit going on. bakugou deadass never had a support system or people to help him grow as a person, let alone properly work through his fucking emotions so it's not surprising that he would take out his bullshit on the one person who tried to help him especially considering he saw dekus actions as him thinking he was weak. bakugou was raised to not seek help, he thought somebody strong shouldnt ever need it, so for somebody like deku (who bakugou percieved as weak and helpless already) to offer up help? deku must obviously think bakugou is even weaker than him, what other explanation could their possibly be!

speaking of which, there's his heaps of insecurities that he basically hid by being a twat and bullying others for most of his life. kid was so insecure he bullied deku for fucking years cause he thought deku looked down on him, thought he was better than him, etc. and that only got worse bc his idol then decided to take deku in, train him and even give him his quirk. there's probably some shit im missing but still he's got issues and always has had issues. that being said, he's actually improving and working them out now which is what makes him a really good, interesting character. it's also nice to see a character who is a dick without some tragic backstory (like his backstory is sad but its not the classic "my family was fucking slaughtered and i turned into a raging bitch who murders people" type shit) bc that rarely happens and it's like most assholes don't actually have a story like that they're just assholes lol

now lets talk improvement! lil bitch has been getting better since he got into UA and im so happy abt it!! he had a rough start what with deku suddenly having a quirk and all but like he is really improving now and it highkey shows that bakugou just mostly needed people who 1) didn't constantly praise him and actually criticized him instead 2) actually fucking punished him doing stupid shit and 3) some motherfucking friends

Since going to UA he's gotten actually feedback from teachers about his weaknesses and how to get stronger, he's lost against others, hes been told he has a shit attitude and is a dick, told he should be nicer and leave deku alone, etc etc. He hasn't gotten in trouble too much with teachers but others give him shit for what he does and aizawa has punished him too, while still acknowledging that bakugou is an amazing and dedicated student, something which no one else had done up til that point. and uh???? homie actually has friends who like,,, don't use him and also call him out when he's a dick. like specifically kirishima has done this shit and him and bakugous relationship is clearly very healthy and beneficial for the both of them. makes me feel all happy n shit, ya know

bottom line is: while it is absolutely valid to dislike or even hate bakugou because he is a massively flawed person who has been very cruel to others, villainizing him for the way he acts which in large part seems to be from a lack of guidance, a shitty mother and heavy amounts of trauma, is fucking awful. his actions cannot be fucking excused, he needs to apologize and continue to grow, but he is also a fucking teenager, who is just now being told that the way he acts is unacceptable by people who dont fucking abuse him (and I swear to god if any people who think mitsuki isnt abusive interact with this fucking post I will fullstop hardblock you, I do not fucking care) and actually treat him like a normal person instead of some prodigy child or someone who needs to be fixed.

people are free to debate my points or whatever bc I know some of this stuff is up to interpretation but like. dni if you're just here to say you hate bakugou for xyz reason or that he's irredeemable. also especially dni if you compare him to fucking endeavor yall bitches make me gag.

anyways thxs for the ask anon <33 sorry this is a kinda messy info dump lol

#shit self #asks #boku no hero academia #long post #bakugou katsuki #yes i am a bakugou kinnie shut the fuck up /lh #this is all /nm btw its just so much easier to make my long posts aggressive yk #this is just how i talk irl but Better Formatted #info dump #kinz #anti mitsuki #discourse #bangerz

108 notes · View notes

brelione · 4 years

Text

Jessies Girl (Pope X Reader X JJ)

Summary:Pope is crushing on JJ’s girl.

Pairings:JJXReader, Pope X Reader

Warnings:Mentions of sex, swearing?

Jessie is a friend

Yeah, I know, he's been a good friend of mine

But lately something's changed that ain't hard to define

Jessie's got himself a girl, and I wanna make her mine

Pope watched you and JJ cuddling up at the fire.You were sitting on his lap, his arms around your waist as he whispered into your ear, watching as you laughed at whatever stupid thing he was saying.

You looked over to JJ, raising an eyebrow.Pope frowned, knowing that he shouldnt feel this way.JJ was a friend, a good friend.But since you came along Pope found himself getting aggravated, shifting in his seat as he looked down at his root beer can.

You had kind of just showed up out of nowhere, a leather jacket over your bikini and a book in your hand on the beach one day.Of course everyone had taken a liking to you, especially JJ.Pope never stood a chance, JJ stealing you within three days.

And she's watching him with those eyes

And she's lovin' him with that body

I just know it

And he's holding her in his arms late, late at night

Your attention was on JJ, smiling as you watched him balance on a rock. “JJ!You’re gonna die!”You giggled, your hands in the pockets of your brown leather jacket.He smiled, jumping down.John.B had laughed too, shaking his head at the two of you.

JJ picked you up, carrying you on his back as the five of you headed for your destination.It was the one smooth part of the beach that didnt have a ton of small, sharp rocks.You guys set down your chairs, only bringing two and a blanket.

JJ held you against his chest, all of you sitting in a circle as you ate your sandwiches.Pope watched you, seeing how you were whispering into JJ’s ear, your knees on either side of his thigh.

Pope rolled his eyes, knowing that you were probably mumbling something filthy into JJ’s ear.He just wished he could be JJ in that moment.Once you guys were beginning to settle down you had gotten up, pulling off your shorts, slowly letting your jacket fall.

You were wearing a black bralette and high waisted black bikini bottoms, your locket dangling from your neck, the heart resting right between your breasts. “I feel like we should go swimming.”You told them, already heading for the water.

Pope felt his face heat up, smiling as he tugged off his shirt, watching as you ran into the water, laughing and shrieking at how cold it was.JJ ran in after you, pushing you into the cold waves.

You wrapped your arms around JJ’s neck, your lower halves hidden by the dark water as you kissed him.Pope didnt even want to imagine what the two of you were doing, knowing what was going on.Kie and John.B didnt pick up on it though, too busy splashing eachother.

You know I wish that I had Jessie's girl

I wish that I had Jessie's girl

Where can I find a woman like that?

Pope couldnt do much about his feelings, confiding with Kie late at night. “You know, I wish that I had (Y/N).Where can I even find a girl like that?”He sighed, resting his head against the couch.She frowned, shrugging.

“California, I guess.I wish that I had her too if im being honest, its not fair that JJ just swooped in.Do you think all California girls are like that?”She asked, trying not to daydream about it.Pope huffed, hearing the bed frame hitting the wall.

“God, I hate them.”He grumbled.Kie laughed, sighing. “You gotta move on, Pope.I mean yeah, shes great and shes pretty and funny and creative and perfect but she’s JJ’s girlfriend.You cant just sit around being grumpy because you’re in love with her.Just be happy that JJ got to her first and not some kook.”She smiled, trying to cheer up the boy in front of her.

Pope sighed, looking over to her. “Yeah, yeah okay but no other girls are exactly like her.Shes the only one who’s ever made me feel like this.”He explained.After a few moments the shaking of the wall finally stopped, moans flowing through the air.

Pope held a pillow over his face. “I hate this.”He repeated.JJ opened the bedroom door, wearing only pajama pants as he made his way into John.B’s kitchen to get a can of soda, turning to see his friends awake. “Oh….hey guys.”He muttered, quickly going back into the room.The dim lighting didnt hide the scratches along JJ’s back and the marks on his neck. “Gross.”Kiara grumbled.

i'll play along with this charade

That doesn't seem to be a reason to change

You know I feel so dirty when they start talking cute

I wanna tell her that I love her, but the point is probably moot

Hiding his feelings was becoming difficult as your three month anniversary with JJ approached.He didnt see why it effected him so much, seeing you and JJ being so sweet with eachother.He felt so uncomfortable when you two started acting all cute together.

“I love you.”You whispered into JJ’s ear, combing his hair with your fingers.He smiled, looking up at you. “Love you too.”He smiled, feeling you kiss his forehead.Pope was sitting in the chair in the corner of the room, hearing the whole thing as he tried to pay attention to the tv.

He rested his chin against his palm, feeling lonely as he saw you poking at JJ’s head while JJ tried to catch your wrist in the process.Pope wanted to tell you that he loved you, that he had his life with you fully planned out, that he loved you more than all the Marvel movies and that he wanted to make you the happiest person on earth.

But he knew that was a stupid idea, that you didnt feel the same.If you did feel the same you wouldnt be with JJ, you would be with him.But there would always be that part of him that ached to tell you his thoughts, to tell you everything he loved about you, to tell you everything he could.But that wasnt possible.

Cause she's watching him with those eyes

And she's lovin' him with that body

I just know it

And he's holding her in his arms late, late at night

Midsummers was a nightmare for more reasons than one.Kiara had invited you, taking you dress shopping.Your dress was a darker purple, the material reaching just above your knee, the top part was rather low cut.

Your eyes had been on JJ the whole time even when you were standing next to Pope while he tried to make conversation with you. “Um...i like your dress.”He muttered, hands in his pockets.

You raised an eyebrow, smiling. “Thanks, its so uncomfy though.”You laughed.He chuckled, calming a bit.He never really got the chance to talk to you alone. “I mean, at least you wont have to stay in it for that long.You guys just have to stay until after the speech or whatever, right?”He asked.You nodded, looking into the crowd of people for your boyfriend.

“So how’s the food and stuff?Im not really allowed to leave this general area.”He gestured to a single patch of grass.You giggled, sighing. “I dont know, they probably poisoned it or something.THey’re demons, Pope.You gotta do an exorcism.”You grinned.

He smiled, biting his lip. “Yeah, let me just grab my bible.”He reached into his pocket, pulling out a tiny piece of paper. “Perfect.”He smiled at the sound of your laughter, proud of himself. “Wow, we better hurry up before the demon comes out of Ward and attacks one of us!Look!His wife has the devil horns!”You gasped, pointing over at Rose.

He smiled. “Wow, im so rich and my botox was 50% off!Im better than you!”He made his voice high pitched, watching as Rose talked.You laughed, watching Ward. “My breast implants were only three million!But it fell out in my bath tub!”You made your voice deep, laughing when Pope snorted.

A few people looked over, the two of you turning around. “Oh my god-watch us get kicked out.”You looked over your shoulder, grinning when you saw JJ. “Hey, im gonna go talk to JJ.I’ll catch up with you later.”You smiled, giving him a quick wave before heading to see your boyfriend.Pope sighed, watching as JJ embraced you in a tight hug.He was funny to think that he would ever even have a chance.

You know I wish that I had Jessie's girl

I wish that I had Jessie's girl

Where can I find a woman like that?

Like Jessie's girl

I wish that I had Jessie's girl

Where can I find a woman...

Where can I find a woman like that?

As the five of you made your exit, JJ had picked you up and spun you around. “Later, Losers!”You shouted, making an L on your forehead and sticking out your tongue before you guys ran off.Pope smiled, amused.The way you could switch between soft and sweet and tough and reckless was something that never failed to amaze him.

He sat as close to you as possible at the fire, looking at your hand that held JJ’s, frowning.Kie glanced at him, shrugging slightly. “Pope, you failed the exorcism.Im disappointed in you.”You told him, grinning when you made him smile. “Sorry, Captain.”He replied, chuckling when you got flustered by the nickname.JJ’s forehead wrinkled a bit, not understanding the joke.

“Did I miss something?”He asked.You shook your head. “No, babe.Just an inside joke.”You winked at Pope, grinning at JJ’s confused face. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”You told him.

Part of Pope was glad that you felt comfortable joking around with him, excited that he had his own inside joke with you while the other part of him just wished you’d ignore him entirely so he wouldnt have any hope of being with you.He didnt even know what he wanted anymore, the one thing he was certain of was that he wanted you.

And I'm lookin' in the mirror all the time

Wonderin' what she don't see in me

I've been funny; I've been cool with the lines

Ain't that the way love's supposed to be?

That night Pope had stared at himself in the mirror of John.B’s bathroom.He pulled at his hair, trying to figure out if that was the problem.Was it too long?Too short?Were his eyes too dark?Was his smile not nice enough?What did you see in JJ that you couldnt see in him?

He was basically just a watered down JJ with rational thoughts, good grades and better logic skills.He had gotten you to laugh all night at midsummers, making you smile, making you happy.He had been pretty cool with his jokes, saying them at just the right time.

He had read plenty of romance novels in private, observing the traits of healthy and toxic relationships.This was always how it went, the guy would make the girl happy and make her laugh and then eventually they would fall in love.Isnt that how love is supposed to be?

@outerbongs @copper-boom @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl @simonsbluee @jiaraendgame @khiaraaa-in-spacee @on-socks-off @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @rae131415 @popeheywards @nas-marie-loves-u @28cnn @sexytholland @yuxsh06 @ifilwtmfc @cherryobx @poguestarkey @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @poguestyleskye @judayyyw @sunwardsss @meaganjm @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @jj-fic-recs @homophobicclownmoviestan @jj-iz-bae @natalie-kate-98 @negativity4you @nxsmss @ofmaybankheart @broken-jj @joshy-obx @curroptbunnie @outerbnx-stiles @angelreyesgirl100 @hannahhh-marie @sadnessrehab @purple-vodka-99 @annmariek8 @harryswigss @imagines-07 @pink-meringues

#pope heyward #pope x reader #pope outer banks #pope heyward imagine #pope heyward headcanon #jj maybank #jj maybankxreader #jj maybank imagine #jj x you #jj maybank oneshot #outer banks #jj x reader x pope

126 notes · View notes

huntsman-ash · 3 years

Text

RWBY V8E4 LiveThoughts

And were back at it again, this week with turkey and Italian preserved sausage as a snack! Lets see what RT has for us this week.

Oh, 20 minutes. Are they normally this long?

Oh, wait, the openings almost 2 minutes long. Thats more like it.

And now to Robyn and Qrow. Seems Robyns actually liking Qrow a little bit now.

Guess the cells aren’t secured if a fly got into Schnee’s. This a “Fly on Mike Pence’s face” reference?

Qrow sounds more growly again. Did he get smacked back two seasons by Clover dying?

If by “darkness” you mean “Tyrian” then, yes. Also dude, its Clover. He was shit anyway. All the Aces are shit. Dont feel too bad about him.

And he’s got a point too. If Clover had thought with his head instead of his dick (yes, Im sure they were gonna fuck, Fair Games totally a thing), he probably wouldnt be dead now, and Tyrian would be the one with the sword through his chest.

But of course this is RWBY and V7/8 so things cant go their ways.

Ouch. Deep thoughts of Qrow. And some interesting stuff from Robyn too. I still think I’d prefer hopeandharmonizing’s Briar, though.

Marrows glare gives me life. Hare’s just a moron right now though, but thats no real surprise. She’s immature emotionally. Honestly, shes...kind of like a less bad version of our current President. Always has to be the best at everything, fastest, leader, whatever.

Thats probably why this is grating on her so much. Even though shes TECHNICALLY the Ace’s leader now (I think? Seemed like she was Clovers lieutenant, so by rate of succession she’s in command now)

A glance at the little floating control pad... “Clerance access only”. Okay, that...seems weird. Shouldnt it say something like authorized personell only? Maybe it means access by clerance only or something.

Then Robyn’s name, and then process ID 4591-27. No idea what thats useful for but its there.

Also Marrow seems to be the only competent member of the Aces rn.

Ah now we get to see some of the hills around Atlas. For those of you who have seen my headcanons on the Hunter-Killers and their base of operations, Fortress Academy, its out in these hills somewhere.

The music sounds like a boss fight.

The screen on Ren’s hoverbike reads “HVB Rhino” and “HD5800″ I can only assume HVB stands for “hoverbike” and Rhino must be its name, like how the dropships are Mantas. No clue what the number is.

Also apparently the cold in Solitas is so bad it corrupts machinery?

Ahh, good, some action. Lets see what we get now. Ohh, teamwork. And again, signs that aura allows you to move faster and farther than a normal human

Heh, it really is like a boss fight, like the chase scene at the end of the first Viking level in For Honor.

Oh, and it can call for reenforcements literally out of nowhere? Or is the whole tundra of Solitas just CRAWLING with Grimm?

Yes, yes it did just call for backup, Yang. Maybe these are all forward scouts and ambush units from the Grimmstorm. They did say its the biggest...

Another banger from Casey Lee Williams...

What the hell happened in Solitas to cause this geography? Seriously, its a line of bridges over a gap in two cliffs...that cant be natrual, not that equal in distance.

Man, those bikes didnt even last half an episode...I guess thats fair, they are facing obsurd odds. Or maybe they just want Yang to be the only one with a bike.

And there goes the dropwall. Woops.

Also you can just kinda see it but they bounce off the rock and thats why they slow down. Useful.

Also this part with them falling off the edge reminds me of the ending cutscene of Halo 4s Forerunner level, where Chief flies out of a portal and almost goes sailing off a cliff in a Ghost. Except here, the bike stays on the land and THEY go off the cliff.

I paused at just the right time cause YANGS FACE XD

Holy shit what are Ren’s weapons cables MADE OF? The one atop him is holding him AND the weight of his two teammates. And the one below has both Jaune and Yang. No sign of slippage or breackage at all.

Ahhh there’s the whaleship (Monstra? Fuck it Im gonna keep calling it the whaleship). So yeah my headcanon now is the mountain its right next too is Menachite, where Fortress is.

Oh hey back to the Schnee manor of all things! Does...this mean military invasion of the Schnee grounds. Hey Whitley. Lesbians are here.

Someone make a video cut of Weiss banging on the door to the “Knock knock open up the door its real!” part of that one song.

Hehehehhe. Nice Weiss.

Also convenient about the house staff. Good thing RT doesnt need to animate them or Willow now...

I hope the staff took some of the silverware and some paintings on the way out.

Why is MAY the one carrying Nora.

Ah so now they’re stuck out there with no cell service. Hehe.

Ah okay so the cold in Solitas DOES eat aura. Good, my headcanon still kind of stands.

I wonder, does wearing proper cold weather clothing (like bundled up stuff) help? Or does it cut right through...

Why is JAUNE the one hauling the bike? Isnt Yang the strongest? Or maybe they take turns.

Ahhh inter-team talking. Also, outpost. Hmm. Atlas one? Overrun if I had to guess. Unless he saw Fortress. Which I doubt.

I do love the circling shot here, with the light on Yang’s hair and the shadows on Ren. Its...really artistic and emotional. GREAT WORK RT.

Rens got points. And hes saying stuff I myself have been saying for ages, which is good. I wonder why this is how Ren is now...working with the Ace Ops? Being afraid of loosing Nora? No one tell him what happened last episode.

Also, Jaune’s hair seems to have gotten less crazy in recent episodes. It looks less like a banana and more like a close tactical cut.

Yangs got a point.

Ahhh and now we get to see the inside of the whale.

SALEM FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP SHOWING THE FUCK OFF. SERIOUSLY. WE GET IT.

...this is gonna be a really criingy torture section, isnt it.

Someones gonna take that “hound didnt break you” line in the WRONG direction

It is amusing the only thing holding Oscar down is the Hound actually.

Ah so they’re still searching the remains of Beacon.

Also I like how Salem calls them “her forces” as if its anything but a random bunch of expendable monsters. Like, bruh, you cant search anything with THAT.

Ignoring the boring chat between these two, notice how the Hound’s shoulder literally flexes and shifts when Salem touched it. I dont think this thing is solid at all aside from the head and the bone claws...the whole thing is just amorphous Grimm material that can adapt to whatever situation it requires. A specialist unit. A...Hunter hunter.

Yo what the fuck was that. Magic? Huh. Did we actually SEE magic for once in the show? Only took us 8 FUCKING SEASONS...

Doesnt seem to be anything but an energy blast/pain never firing though. I assume his auras still gone, cause its completely singed his shirt, but it didnt do much else.

...Im not impressed.

She really needs to stop touching his face, its creeping me out.

HAHA SHE CANT DO IT HERSELF SHE HAS TO RELY ON HAZEL BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. I think we know where she stands now, doesnt she...say what you will about her letting Hazel have his vengeance (which is very valid, even he admits hit), but me? I think she A) cant actually beat up on Ozma herself because she still cares and B) shes almost out of magic too. Its weakened as the Gods have been gone and shes been forced to rely on the Grimm and on pawns. Basically, once she and Oz are both gone? That’s it for magic. Remnant will belong to the Grimm...and to technology.

At which point without Oz around to hold them back Atlas is going to go fucking BONKERS and basically ensure the Grimm get pushed back into a corner and then finally permenantly STAMPED OUT.

More Whale insides. Seems like most of its empty grandious spaces. Or possibly muscle? Hard to tell. Either way theres a lot of open air in there...with tight corridors. If you fired a thermobaric warehead into one of the chambers the resulting blastc could possibly blow the doors off and send a raging fireball through the entire thing...Hmm. Filing that away for later.

NEO IS SO SHORT ITS FUNNY TO ME. I know its just positioning BUT SHE LOOKS EVEN SHORTER IN THIS SHOT THAN USUAL.

More note on the Hound; the “flesh” around its right shoulder spike actually sinks down when it stops moving. Its neck shifts and moves too, like the material isnt solid, but recirculating.

I also dont see any eyes. And it looks like it has some kind of...forehead mouth? Def looks like teeth down the ridge of its spine.

Oh boy yeah that...whole thing is basically melting in on itself.

I wont lie; hearing Cinder get berated by CORTANA (and yes, I still hear Cortana in Salem, espeically now that the two characters are kind of one and the same, both megalomaniacal leaders of giant armies, bar the fact that one of them is about a TRILLION times more dangerous than the other because one of them has access to Guardian Custodies and the other one is...well kind of lame and has to have beefy dudes beat up on small children etc) is pleasing to me.

Get fucked, Cinder.

And THERE is Cortana again too.

Neo Marry Popins’s Ya’lling is fucking CUTE. And I love her little smirk.

Wait the whale’s that close?

..oh my...hold on.

...thats it. THATS ATLAS’S AIR FLEET!?!

12 AIRSHIPS? 12? EXCUSE ME!?

ARE YOU LEGITAMETLY TELLING ME THE BIGGEST MILITARY ON REMNANT HAS FEWER AIRSHIPS THAN THE SMALLEST NAVY ON EARTH HAS FRIGATES? YOUR FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT? THERE HAS TO BE MORE SOMEWHERE. THIS IS A JOKE, A STRAIGHT UP FUCKING JOKE.

...

No, thats...thats it. Thats Atlas’s airfleet. 12 tiny vessels. I swear it was bigger last season...

...HA! HAHA! HA! Oh, Ironwood, and Atlas as a whole...you deserve everything your about to get. I hope you die SCREAMING, and that when your bodies fall bleeding and shattered to Mantle, the people down there will realize that, no. You cant just assume Hunters will do all the work for you

THIS IS REMNANT. ITS KILL OR BE KILLED. YOU EITHER MAKE A FORCE POWERFUL ENOUGH THAT THE GRIMM RUN FROM YOU OR YOU DIE INSTEAD. ATLAS FAILED. NOW THEY SUFFER.

Emerald stop simpin.

Also that is...the SHITTEST outpost...I have ever seen in my life. My overall thought process of Atlas is...sinking even LOWER than before.

Though it seems more like a waystation. Bed, Dust, some dudes coat on it. Dead heater. Its probably a rest spot for Specialists out in the tundra.

Ren does the emo sit. Lol. Yang even says it. Brood himself to death.

Alright whats this now...something forcing itself out of the tundra?

And thats it for today! Cool ass concept art at the end there too.

#rwby #rwby spoilers #spoilers #rwby v8

9 notes · View notes

nico-idc · 3 years

Text

random vent because i'm numb rn and feel like it

This is a vent post, ill probably talk about su!cide, self h*rm, eating disorders and depression. I’ll also cuss a lot, and things will not be censored. Also, this may seem insensitive to people experiencing any of this, sorry about that. Dont read this if youre triggered by that.

Also, this is my experience with mental health. Everyone deals with it differently.

So, If anyone doesnt know, I have depression and anxiety. And right now, I’m feeling numb as it’s often described by people with depression. But, numb isn’t a very good description. I can still feel. I’ll still smile if you tell me a joke, or if something funny is on a video. I’ll still cry if there’s something super sad. Emotion is just watered down. I feel it, but not as much as I should. Me and my boyfriend were talking, and i couldnt tell him I loved him. It’s not becuase I dont love him, but I just cant feel much of anything, so I dont want to tell him I loved him. Becuase If i did that, I felt as though I was lying. The funniest thing is, I randomly started crying. Still felt nothing, but hey, I had tears streaming down my face. Who fucking knows why.

I havent been doing to great for a while now, but this is the worst i’ve ever gotten. Ive never felt numb before. I mean, I’ve felt myself starting to go through the motions, but i’ve never gone completely numb before. And before this i’ve had a few mental breakdowns. Hell, I’ve sat in a corner twice in the past month or so doing nothing but sobbing and begging myself not to move so I dont grab something sharp and cut myself. (I did not relapse, don’t worry). and recently I completely broke down over simply eating a cereal bar, got through it, ate it. I’m good now.

Figures. That does seem to be my experience. Oh no, big bad issue one time, then magically I just talk myself out of my bullshit, and im fixed. Ha ha, yet I act like I have all these issues. I mean, I didnt even attempt to starve myself, just thought “oh, friends and family wont let me” and didnt. Had a breakdown about a year later, been fine since. Cut for a few months, went to therapy for a few months, stopped cutting. had a few breakdowns about a year or two later, then was fine. was suicidal for a while, went to therapy for a bit, was happy for months. Had breakdowns every now and then, fine now.

ha ha, first time I say alot of this is online. Figures. I’ve done that a lot too. My boyfriend has found out a bit about my depression through this site. Becuase I cant talk to my boyfriend about my shit, but hey random people on the internet! hear about my problems.

So on another note, I recently found a song that describes part of depression pretty well. It’s called “i’m not dead” by boyinaband. it’s linked below, I’ll copy paste the lyrics, and explain how I relate, and what the lyrics mean to me, becuase why not? (lyrics will be in bold)

undefined

youtube

I'm not dead

I'm not fixed, but I'm not giving up yet

Basically, this means that im still here, im still depressed, but I’m still trying to fight depression.

I'm sick of saying that I still don't have anything done

I hate telling friends I'm trying something just to give it up

I never commit to anything, I just say I’ll do something, then decide I dont want to.

I'm still unsure of my emotional state

I'm still incapable of focusing lately

I don't feel like creating

I'm tired of asking Google how to find motivation

I’ve been on break from writing for months now. tried to get back to it, lost concentration. I think this is self explanatory.

I don't think I've ever made

Something that's as good as I'm capable of

Ha, I dont put in enough effort and commitment to make something as good as possible.

I hate not having a reason to look my best

I only ever take care of myself with the intent to show the internet

I mean, I dont try to show the internet, but I only take care of myself when other people will see me.

If what made me successful was an imposed sense of stress then

I am so so glad that I hated myself

The only thing that makes me do things is extreme stress.

I didn't luck into this position

I struggle with decisions

I mean, im not in any high position, but I do struggle with decisions.

I wouldn't be my own friend

I'm too inconsistent

I’m inconsistent as hell. I’m in like 10 group chats, don't talk in any of them for months, then just show up like “hi, havent talked to you all in ages, but hi”.

Without immense pressure nothing ever gets finished

If these words make it to your ears it'll be a fucking miracle.

Yep. I went on whole rant about this on wattpad. Without pressure to do something, I don’t do it.

I'm fortunate to know more good people than most do

I wish I had more friends I could be physically close to

I dont personally have a lot of friends that dont live in my city, so the last line isnt an issue, but I do know a lot of good people”

I'm pretty good at like 20 different skill sets

At the expense of never being great at any one of them

I’m good at quite a few things. Drawing, math, even writing. But im not great at it. I’m average.

I wish this beat hit harder

I wish more syllables rhymed

I know 99 percent of people really don't mind

I dont personally relate to this, seeing as I dont make music.

I think collaborating forced me to finish things

'Cause I was terrified of wasting famous people's time

Oh yeah. Group projects would not get done if i wasnt scared of wasting my partner’s time.

I wish I could focus on what I define priority

I wish I was as grateful as I want to be

Dont really relate to these things

I wish I knew more people who were mentally stable

But if I did,

I wouldn't let them waste their time on me while I'm disabled

Oh yeah. Id love to have a friend who isnt depressed, but I wouldnt let them see that im fucked up becuase i dont wanna drag them down.

I feel alone

I know I'm not

I have a lot of friends, but I still fell alone in this world

I used to talk to lots of people.

Lately I've stopped

They didn't deserve it,

I've been a terrible friend.

But I couldn't bear to let myself become boring to them

I ignore group chats all the time. no reason. Probably shouldnt.

I don't let myself get my hopes up.

I love people who do.

Something good happens? what could go wrong? that is my thought precess.

I never know if what I say I feel is the truth

I have no damn Idea what I think, so its so hard to know what the truth in my head is.

I wish I didn't instinctively try to be less specific

So more people could relate, when they read along with the lyrics.

Not lyrics, but if i write/explain something, I immediately generalize things so its relateable.

I can be happy in the moment

I am not when I reflect

I smile watching youtube, but then I look back and think about how I wasted time.

I distract myself with gaming, waiting to get better

I hate it

Youtube will cure depression right? /s

I wanna do the most good, and prevent the most hurt

But I've gotta put on my own oxygen mask first

This is just an important phrase I try to remember when I’m down. for people who dont do well with metaphors, he’s saying that if you want to help people, you need to help yourself first.

I can't predict what I'll do.

I can never be sure

I am terrified of making promises any more

I can't face my work,

I feel sick from the word

I genuinely believe I'm capable of changing the world

Don’t relate much here, except for the more positive, upbeat tone the song takes on, and i feel that this part, the part above and everything below is dave fighting his depression.

I still think I can get better

I’m holding onto hope.

I still think I can create and get pleasure from it

I hope so, I want my art and writing to improve.

I'll keep aiming to make my emotion and my logic agree

The eternal stuggle. I always try to get the two to line up, it rarely works. I try to use logic more often though.

And become the best version of me

Always trying to improve myself.

I don't want to stop!

There’s alot this could mean. I dont want to stop creating. I dont want to stop fighting. I dont want to stop getting better. I dont want to stop living. I relate to all these things.

I’ll expand on this more later, it’s too late now for me to continue this

#cussing tw #swearing tw #tw suicide mention #tw self harm #tw eating disorder #vent post

5 notes · View notes

elijahfitz · 4 years

Text

and introduction.

meet elijah.

hey guys! im lina! im 18 and im in the cst timezone. im currently a freshman in college and ive also been rping for like 6 years now ( i started on the neopets chat boards. if thats not an embarrassing fun fact idk what is ) but i havent rped since this summer since school was and still is kicking my ass. im really into musical theater, marvel & dc, and disney! i also used to be a lifeguard at a great wolf lodge for 2 years so if u want any funny stories about stupid children, or even just wanna be friends, lmk! im also SUPER sorry this intro is so late. i was gonna do it yesterday but then my friends wanted to hang and it kinda went downhill from there. im actually posting this like 20 min before i have a lab practical so i wont be able to reply until late tonight, but like this post to plot or anything!

some fun facts abt elijah:

he was adopted when he was around 3-4? he was abandoned and left on the back of a merchant cart headed to corona, where he was then discovered and then put into the local orphanage since no one was sure where he came from or who left him. all he had was a stuffed bear (named wooly), a basket of water and fruits to eat, and a letter that explained that:

his name was elijah

he was 2 (born on february 28th)

his parents couldnt care for him, so they hoped he would be found by a kind soul who could either take care of and love him, or else get him to someone who could

they loved him and only left him in the hopes that he would have a better life

he lived in the orphanage for almost 2 years and the few months before the 2nd anniversary of his arrival, rapunzel & eugene visited the orphanage that eugene grew up in and fell in love w/ eli, promptly adopting him soon after. he barely remembers anything about his abandonment and time in the orphanage, but always wanted to find his birth parents and let them know how he turned out. he kept the bear and basket in his room but carries the letter around with him in his wallet wherever he goes.

his full name is elijah frederic fitzherbert. he was given the middle name frederic in honor of his grandfather.

but, he much rather prefers eli. doesnt mind formalities but insists on people who know him to call him by his nickname. except he HATES being called “highness” bc he thinks it sounds stupid. he wont get upset per se if u keep referring to him as “your highness” but he will get annoyed

he very much wants to fulfill his role as “corona’s golden boy” by contributing back to his people. he worries for the kingdom more than he worries for himself and is always trying to prove that he is worthy of being a prince rather than just some random kid who got lucky enough to get adopted. most of his days are spent doing modest favors and helping out the townspeople or visiting the villages surrounding the kingdom.

when he’s in the castle you can almost always find him in the kitchen! boi loves to bake and cook. he loves the way food can bring joy to everyone. he often makes goods to give to the townspeople or the kids at the orphanage, where he volunteers at least every 2 weeks when hes not busy w prince stuff.

has an acute fear of disappointment. he feels so much pressure to prove his worth that came from growing up thinking if he did anything wrong he’d be sent back to orphanage, esp since his parents had another child. they wouldn’t want or need him anymore. he mostly got over this when he broke a vase when he was 12 and tried to run away from home, except he fell out the tree that he used to climb out his window and broke his leg lmao. his parents assured him that no matter what he did they would still love him and never abandon him, and his dad also taught him how to climb trees and roofs without dying (much to his mom’s chagrin). even tho hes pretty much over it, it kinda lingers subconsciously. thus, he overcompensates in everything he does and gets overly anxious about small problems

growing up he thought the stories that his dad told him about his past were so cool, despite the fact that he would almost always only hear those stories when he was being taught lessons of what he shouldnt do. he used to run around pretending to be flynn rider and his dad played along, planning play heists for them to do together (think scott & cassie in that one scene from ant man and the wasp) but they stopped when eli hit that age where he thought it was embarrassing to play w his dad. but, it really helped him bond w eugene and help him work on his coordination bc eli is CLUMSY AF

eli legit trips over nothing at least twice a day.

he bonded w his mom through art tho, which eventually turned into aesthetic desserts and meals! thats another reason why he loves baking and cooking so much.

when his 1st sibling was born when he was 5 at first he was jealous. he didnt get much attention at the orphanage due to the fact that there were so many kids and he was just starting to get used to the idea of having parents didnt have tons of kids always trying to win their affection and attention. he thought having a little sibling was the worst thing in the world and would hide from his parents bc if they couldnt find him they couldnt send him away. he hated his sibling.

until he met them. the second he saw their chubby face he was hooked. he swore that he would do anything and everything for them. and that continued when his parents adopted his other siblings as well. he absolutely adores them and acts like the protective older bro role

thankfully, with such a large age gap eli never rlly had to go through any of those petty squabbles that siblings usually have. he was always pretty protective of them tho and would fight when he thought they were being reckless and dumb out of his own fear that if they got hurt he would be an awful big brother (again, fear of disappointment)

he loves to travel bc his mom would always take him to these extravagant kingdoms and on these amazing sightseeing trips

this boy is hopeless when it comes to love. i can imagine lots of ppl liking him on top of all the ppl throwing themselves at him bc royal, but him being completely oblivious and thinking that no one likes him.

he had rlly bad ADD as a kid but its gotten better as hes grown. he still occasionally struggles w executive functioning tho and always gets rlly frustrated when he cant focus or remember

like i said earlier, clumsy af. no coordination. the only athletic ability he ever had was horse riding and running

that said he has a horse named may (short for mayonnaise. dont ask

he likes music a lot. prob learned piano at a young age

he probably is at the party bc royals? idk

EDIT: although (currently) unknown to eli, his true birth mother is maleficent. when eli was 2, his birth father took him away from her and had her suppress eli’s natural born powers. his father realized he was unfit to care for him, so he was the one who abandoned eli.

wanted connections!!

obv his parents and siblings? i mean cmon

one ( or both???? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) of his birth parents!!!!! they dont have to know that eli is their son or mayb they do and are too scared to tell him, but being trapped together will eventually make it revealed

childhood friends! people he met when he traveled w his mom or met at royal social functions? i rlly also want friends that he would hang w at all the royal galas and stuff and they would go do dumb stuff like look sneak out and look for secret passages of make bets of who could dump more crab cakes into the stuffy duchess’ purse when she wasnt looking

people who know him solely through his family

someone who likes eli and eli legit has no clue, no matter how much they flirt and drop hints

people who hate eli! or even just dislike him, which makes him upset bc he doesnt like the idea that there are ppl who dont like him in the world. mayb bc sometimes he gets super highstrung when things arent going how they should b and he like lashed out at them once or something. maybe they hate his parents and on principle hate him. idk

someone who was w eli in the orphanage

past relationships? i feel like hes never rlly had a bad breakup tho, its just that they prob just didnt work out. hes also bi so they can b any gender. hes still looking for his otp

idk, legit anything. send me those plots man

#spelled.intro #this got LONG #i am so sorry #but hello i am lina #like to plot !!!! pls. im desperate

8 notes · View notes

clonerightsagenda · 7 years

Text

#tuesjade #i called what i was doing kid shuffles #just bc kidswap seems to generally be switching their designs and aesthetics around #which is cool but not what i was doing #kid shuffle #kat writes fic #? i guess

27 notes · View notes

like-a-bag-of-potatoes · 7 years

Text

With You By My Side - Four

A/N: I have said this before and I’ll say it again. This series is gonna be 90% angst. By now you all know that the Reader is sick with terminal cancer, so it shouldnt come as a surprise that its gonna be a bumpy ride. I will try and warn appropriately in each chapter, but if I do miss something, please let me know. Also, thank you for all of your feedback, keeps me motivated and inspired. An last but not least, thank you to my beautiful beta @thorne93, you are a life saver.

Characters: Jensen, Reader.

Warnings: Sick reader, some angst, some fluff, probably some language.

Wordcount: 1453

Catch up HERE

*Not my GIF*

Once Jensen parked his car in your driveway you all but jumped out and walked inside the house as fast as your body would allow. Jensen watched you disappear through your door from the car, taking a deep breath to collect himself before he followed with the small bag you had brought with you to and from the hospital. He couldn't imagine the things that were going through your mind at this point, all he knew was that he needed to be here for you.

You threw yourself down on your bed and let a few quiet tears fall from your eyes. There were so many things that ran through your mind, removing the stitches, starting chemo, getting sicker, dying. You were scared, of course you were, but you knew that Jensen was going to be there with you every step of the way, you knew that nothing in this world could keep him away because that was the kind of man he was, and that was only one of the many reasons you loved him. Guilt clenched at you as you realized he was downstairs alone, probably confused as to why you gave him the cold shoulder, probably struggling with this as much, if not more, as you were. at least you had him to lean on, but who did he have? You had told him not to tell anyone what was going on, but you realized now that he would need someone to help him through this as well.

You didn't know how much time had passed when you finally emerged from your room and joined him downstairs, finding him by the kitchen table with a coffee in his hands.

“Hey,” you tried quietly.

“Hey,” he responded with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. “Do you want some coffee?”

“Please. The stuff they serve at the hospital doesn't really qualify as coffee,” you joked as you sat down across from him. There was a few moments of silence as he got a mug ready and placed it in front of you before taking a seat himself. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course,” he assured with a slight nod.

You bit your lip as you thought about how to word yourself. “First I'm really sorry for the way I acted at the hospital and in the car. It's just that today was the first time I saw… myself after the surgery and it hit me a lot harder that I thought it would, and then when you came to hug me I kind of panicked because I was afraid that you would be able to feel that I'm… different, if that makes any sense.”

“You never have to apologize to me, (YN). And you certainly don't have to be afraid of me.” The hurt and honesty in his emerald orbs hit you square in the chest. Of course you knew he would never judge.. Or whatever it was you were afraid he would do, but you couldn't really explain it to yourself and definitely no to him, so you just shrugged it off and started to fill him in about what was coming next.

“I know what lies ahead of me, and I'm guessing it's gonna be a long and bumpy ride, I just don't want you to feel obligated to be here with me,” you finished.

“There's nowhere else I would be, you know that,” Jensen said with half a smile. “I really appreciate you being honest with me though.”

“Well… I don't really feel like I have time to beat around the bush,” you half joked.

“Not even a little funny,” he chuckled halfheartedly, a little spark returning to his green orbs.

“I think I want to enjoy the rest of my coffee outside while watching the sunset. You care to join me?”

Jensen didn't even hesitate to follow you outside, your backyard was one of his favorite places in the world, the view over lake Austin was just a small part of it. This was where he had first met you, where the two of you had gotten to know each other, where you had spent countless hours just hanging out and goofing around. One night you had even made love out here under the stars, covered only by the darkness of the night. Yes, this was definitely one of his favorite places.

He took a seat next to you in the grass, gently wrapping his arm around your shoulders. At first your body tensed under his touch and he was reminded about what you had said earlier about him feeling you were different, but just as he was about to remove his arm and apologize he felt your body relax into his, a content sigh leaving your lips.

“I love you, (YN),” he whispered before placing a featherlight kiss to your hair.

“I love you too, Jensen.”

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence as you sat in the yard and watched the sky change colors in time with the setting sun. This had always been one of your favorite places to be, and having Jensen by your side just made it that much greater.

You woke the next morning to the smell of bacon and pancakes wafting up from the kitchen.

“You didn't have to do all of this,” you said, smiling at the sight before you. Jensen was wearing a pair of pajama pants that hung low on his hips, a white henley t-shirt that clung nicely to his body, his hair still ruffled with sleep, and then to top it all off, your very pink apron was tied around his waist. “Although, you do look fabulous,” you grinned.

“I think this apron really brings out my eyes,” he said in a serious tone, but the slight crinkle in the corner of his eyes told you he was joking. “How are you feeling today?”

“I'm okay. Still a little sore, and getting dressed is a bitch, but all in all i'm doing good,” you answered honestly.

“Listen,” he started, motioning for you to take a seat and handing you a cup of coffee. “We have two weeks left of filming up in Vancouver before hiatus, but I talked to the guys up there this morning and they think that if we work through the weekend I can be done with my scenes by Sunday, which means I can come with you for chemo on Monday. And don't worry, I didn't tell them what it was for, just that it was personal and very important to me,” he rambled on.

You didn't quite know what to say. There he was putting heaven and earth in motion just so that he could be with you and support you through your first treatment, and on top of all that he couldn't even tell anyone why he was asking them to flip the schedule around. Without even thinking you stood from your chair and walked over to where he was standing, wrapping your arms around his waist and hugging yourself tight against his strong body. “You didn't have to do all of this you know,” you mumbled into his chest.

“I know, I wanted to.” He wrapped his arms around you, reveling in the feel of you in his arms, taking comfort in the familiar scent of your shampoo mixed with what was uniquely your smell.

“Thank you,” you said, releasing your hold on him a little so you could look into his eyes. “But you don't have to keep this a secret. I'm not saying you should scream it from the rooftops, but you can tell your friends and the people you work with. It's not like I'll be able to keep this secret forever anyway,” you told him.

The two of you were standing so close, wrapped up in each other’s arms, looking into each other's eyes. In this moment it was hard to remember that you were broken up, it was hard not to lean up on your toes and softly press your lips to his. For a moment you just stood there like you were glued in place, unable to move away.

“Breakfast!” Jensen exclaimed suddenly, effectively bringing you back to the present.

The two of you ate in silence, both aware of the pull you had felt towards each other just a moment ago. You were still completely in love with this man, how could you not be, but you han no plans of telling him that. Having him by your side as a friend was more than you could have ever asked for, and you were not about to push him away by confessing your undying love for him.

Tags: (add yourself to my taglist HERE)

All things spn:

@frenchybell @itseverythingilike @percywinchester27 @feelmyroarrrr @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou @mrswhozeewhatsis @you-know-whodoesthat-crazypeople @drbagels123 @sandlee44 @buckysmetallicstump @torn-and-frayed @thereisnolumos @tia58 @charliebradbury1104 @devilgirlsarah @shadowexorsist009 @bea789 @supernatural-jackles @mariairwin666 @madamelibrarian @atc74 @you-didnt-see-that-cuming @hanny-writes-spn @livelylaynie @therewillbeblood @ruprecht0420 @samgirlforeverandalways @youremycrimsonpain @melonberri @iamnotsaneatall @donnaintx @fangirlextraordinaire @fernandasvaldi @moonstar86 @deanwinchesters-67impala @aquabrie

All things:

@clairese1980 @girl-next-door-writes @spontaneousam @supernaturalyobessed @mogaruke @idorkish @ashleychinrock @grace-for-sale @artherra @homara-the-red-clan @avasmommy224 @we-know-a-little-about-a-lot @mayasmedberg @iceninekiller-blog-blog @starstruckblizzardqueen @winchesterswantmypie

WYBMS:

@devilgirlsarah @iamnotsaneatall @donnaintx @fangirlextraordinaire @akshi8278 @keepcalmandbeajunkie @mayasmedberg @pretty-fortune @acreativelydifferentlove @supernatural0826 @fernandasvaldi @you-didnt-see-that-cuming @smittyjaws @foreverwishingilivedinabook @viviandarkbloom06 @tornjeansandabrokenheart @sleep-silent-angel

#spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #jensen ackles #jensen x reader #jensen ackles fanfic #spn angst #spn series #WYBMS

125 notes · View notes

heterophobicloki · 7 years

Note

it seems so hilarious to me that the 15 year old who is running this blog seems to think they know everything like an adult, when by your logic, you're still a CHILD. people can ship whatever they want without your pathetic, childish ass slating shit people like. I ship otayuri because it's cute as fuck. I ship otayuri because when I was at the age of 15, my boyfriend was 19. and our relationship was healthy and normal, and 6 years on we have a child and are engaged (1)

i was gonna reply with “come off anon to insult me you coward ive never pretended to know everything but i know adults shouldnt date children seeing as that affects me as a child and being a child doesnt mean i cant speak about things” but heres my actual response. It got a little long, so its under the cut

According to all known lawsof aviation, there is no way a beeshould be able to fly. Its wings are too small to getits fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't carewhat humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow!Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry?- Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening?- I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your fatherpaid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate.We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz.- Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.- Bye! Barry, I told you,stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam.- Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel?- A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school,three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I tooka day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry.- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie?- Yeah. - You going to the funeral?- No, I'm not going. Everybody knows,sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel.Such a hothead. I guess he could havejust gotten out of the way. I love this incorporatingan amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp...under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men.- We are! - Bee-men.- Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oitygraduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your careerat Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennasinside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like?- A little scary. Welcome to Honex,a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee,have worked your whole life to get to the point where youcan work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant PollenJocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected,scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctivegolden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot.- She's my cousin! - She is?- Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right.- At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspectof bee existence. These bees are stress-testinga new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes?- Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement,the Krelman. - What does that do?- Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it.Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs aresmall ones. But bees know that every small job,if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the jobyou pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life?I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees,as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?"How can you say that? One job forever?That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only haveto make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could theynever have told us that? Why would you question anything?We're bees. We're the most perfectlyfunctioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe thingswork a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you knowwhat I'm talking about. Please clear the gate.Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!- Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's likeoutside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks!- Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters!You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were.- I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knowswhere, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a PollenJock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollenthan you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol.Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing itand the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies?Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys.- Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerousbeing a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned meagainst a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat,and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my!- I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today,wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patchsix miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh?- Barry! A puddle jump for us,but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am.- You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy?Are you bee enough? I might be. It all dependson what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices.- But you only get one. Do you ever get boreddoing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you justmove it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm.It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad,the more I think about it, maybe the honey fieldjust isn't right for me. You were thinking of what,making balloon animals? That's a bad jobfor a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not surehe wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes.- I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're goinginto honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer?- No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now.I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Geta gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today!- Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobswill be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available?- Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations!Step to the side. - What'd you get?- Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first?- No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open,not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman?- Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See?He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up.Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling,stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven,lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, whatdo you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patchin quadrant nine... What happened to you?Where are you? - I'm going out.- Out? Out where? - Out there.- Oh, no! I have to, before I goto work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave,there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that.- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you.- OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know,bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always,watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs,birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reportsof root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it,babbling like a cicada! - That's awful.- And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one,absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check.- Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check.- Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias,you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader.We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid.It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close?- No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle itover here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one.See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, moreflowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowersseems to be on the move. Say again? You're reportinga moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good.Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys!- This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him?- I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey,because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something!- I'm driving! - Hi, bee.- He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move,he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension levelout here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you closethe window please? Ken, could you closethe window please? Oheck out my new resume.I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time.This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my specialskills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they'reflabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sunhaving a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter.At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them!This thing could kill me! Why does his life haveless value than yours? Why does his life have any less valuethan mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. Youdon't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him.It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone outis also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there.- Bye. - Supposed to be less calories.- Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life.I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law.You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it?"You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking.- Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine.I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure thisis very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me.I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposedto be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you.It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee.- Yeah. I'm talking to a bee.And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful.I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that?- What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess."Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny.- Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something?- Like what? I don't know. I mean...I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee.- I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous!- Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't.- Have some. - No, I can't.- Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where?- These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you knowanything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cabas they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church.The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon?I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive,but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do?- Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer ora doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really?- My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just electedwith that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area.I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes?- Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee.- Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am?- Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great.Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks!- Yeah. All right. Well, then...I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank youso much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go.We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing.- It was amazing! It was the scariest,happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believeyou were with humans! Giant, scary humans!What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things.They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV?- Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back?- Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You sawwhatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now youcan pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well...- Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!- No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider?- I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing,with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law.You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa.- Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talkingto humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s!One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life!And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb.- It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat.That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is?- No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot!- Listen to me! We are not them! We're us.There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can denythe heart that is yearning? There's no yearning.Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee,my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee.- Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days!Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisionsto think about. What life? You have no life!You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill youto make a little honey? Barry, come out.Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here.- I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me?- Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going?- I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge paradeof flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses,that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surroundedby flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the rosescompete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one.How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't yourun everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see.All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease.It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting.It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully.You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out.Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?!- It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody.Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages.Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got thatdown to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.- I'll bet. What in the nameof Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here?Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor?- I never heard of him. - Why is this here?- For people. We eat it. You don't haveenough food of your own? - Well, yes.- How do you get it? - Bees make it.- I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring.You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic.- It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this!This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools,hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?!I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottomof all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done?- Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out,with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something.So you can talk! I can talk.And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff?Who's your supplier? I don't understand.I thought we were friends. The last thing we wantto do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossedthe wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunchfor my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knewwhat hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anythingthat moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms.I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you?- He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?!- Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade!- Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything haveto be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes!Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington,I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee!- Moose blood guy!! - You hear something?- Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars,as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goesis where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight.- We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own.Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble?- You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack.See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world.You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up,get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leavethe building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys!- Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here.Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brainthe size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker.- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of thisknocks them right out. They make the honey,and we make the money. "They make the honey,and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you'rein a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here.We had no choice. This is your queen?That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolenon a massive scale! This is worse than anything bearshave done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are takingour honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory.These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What?- Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend.And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could.- Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you wantto do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives.Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember youcoming home so overworked your hands were still stirring.You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put itin lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt.- No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can stingthe humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's onlyfull-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.- And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human racefor stealing our honey, packaging it and profitingfrom it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here inour studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies,out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kidfrom the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraidto change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus?Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinkingof stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee communityis supporting you in this case, which will be the trialof the bee century. You know, they have a Larry Kingin the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a showand suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from theguest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week!They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attackat the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke!I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please.Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee?- Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello.- Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, sizeten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing.You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam herehas been a huge help. - Frosting...- How many sugars? Just one. I try notto use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, peopleare giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic!- Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worsethan a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make upfor it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.- I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done withthe humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home,"without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scenehere in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits,because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselvesif a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humansdon't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinationalfood companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to staybehind the barricade. - What's the matter?- I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The HonorableJudge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York,Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representingthe five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representingall the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery,your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believedit was man's divine right to benefit from the bountyof nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy worldMr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiatewith the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-captureHollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism!Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen,there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee.Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees.We invented it! We make it. And we protect itwith our lives. Unfortunately, there aresome people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys!I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey,you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like thatall the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhaydenof Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also ownHoneyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepersfor our farms. Beekeeper. I find thatto be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employany bee-free-ers, do you? - No.- I couldn't hear you. - No.- No. Because you don't free bees.You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would bean appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashingthrough your living room?! Biting into your couch!Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before?- I was with a band called The Police. But you've never beena police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so herewe have yet another example of bee culture casuallystolen by a human for nothing more thana prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feelinga little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first,belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spoton ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resumethat you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoilthat's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is thiswhat it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless beesso you don't have to rehearseyour part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson!I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella.This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step onthis creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court!- You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it!- Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully niceof that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken!- Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late.I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste,so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left.I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself.The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit.Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating withchopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to findthe rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment,but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just whatI was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razorfor his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that?- Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why isyour life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing.- Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey!I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to bethe nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?!Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things buggingme in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from ridingon this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificialsweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's gotan aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kindof barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it.Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomeryis about out of ideas. We would like to callMr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he'sconsidered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you'vegotta weave some magic with this jury,or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I haveto do to turn this jury around is to remind themof what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers?- Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask youwhat I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends?- Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two.From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birthto all the bee children? - Yeah, but...- So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry...- Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee,aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection!- I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venomis coursing through my veins! I have been felledby a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat themlike equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thingthey know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me.- I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercywill come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybeesversus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legalteam stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy.- Hey. - Is there much pain?- Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters isyou're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteriadownstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there'sa little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then...and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry.I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We'rejust a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to usif they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels.That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in,but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurseto close that window? - Why?- The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke!But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall.Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result,we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor,haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enoughof this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allowthese absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compellingevidence to support their charges against my clients,who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissalof this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to considerMr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof?Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor!You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this?This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly,let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked,"Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addictedto smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slavesto the white man? - What are we gonna do?- He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please,free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honeywill finally belong to the bees. Now we won't haveto work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversionof the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren,and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right?- What do you mean? We've been living the bee waya long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory.What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdownof all bee work camps. Then we want back the honeythat was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorificationof the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly,bad-breath stink machine. We're all awareof what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseousfor a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer toleratebee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honeyin bogus health products and la-dee-da humantea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down!- Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail.Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believehow much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating?- They're home. They don't know what to do.Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his wayto San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humansliked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world!I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was mynew job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understandwhy they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing.Honey really changes people. You don't have any ideawhat's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me?- This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to makehoney would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers.Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affectsthe entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here,couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me.- Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry...sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving?Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses paradein Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekendbecause all the flowers are dying. It's the last chanceI'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses.Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers!- Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know.That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not.Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake.This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet.I wanted to help you with the flower shop.I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it'sgreater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses,the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plantand flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've gotback here with what we've got. - Bees.- Park. - Pollen!- Flowers. - Repollination!- Across the nation! Tournament of Roses,Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothingbut flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside,we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess,and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit?- What are you? - I believe I'm the pea.- The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.- I'm getting the marshal. You do that!This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we dois blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport,there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float?- Yes. Has it beenin your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger.- It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun.Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll havejust enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? Wehave just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers,this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weatherin New York. It looks like we'll experiencea couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowerswith no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up thereand talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get helpwith the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talkinginflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal?- Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!- Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers.This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24Bplease report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster,a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat,they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke?- No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome.I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious,and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboardhave flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that?- Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing morethan a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?- Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry!We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have somelate-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful sceneis developing. Barry Benson,fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane,loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the areaand two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute.There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Bensonand his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a beeshouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wingsand body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air!- Got it. - Stand by.- We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of beesdoing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well,it makes a big difference. More than we realized.To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get beesback to working together. That's the bee way!We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow!- Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover?- Forget hover. This isn't so hard.Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we wereon autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me.- And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's getbehind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do,you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling!We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentratewith that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together.You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it! - Hold it!- Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowersfor a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow.- Hello. All right, let's drop this tin canon the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee.- Thinking bee. Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute.I think I'm feeling something. - What?- I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac?- Get some lights on that! Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower.- OK. Out the engines. We're going inon bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one!- Which one? - That flower.- I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry!- This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this planeflying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid.Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it!You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five!- Right. Barry, it worked!Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of courseI saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you.- But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is coveredwith the last pollen from the last flowersavailable anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey,pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species,this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjustMuseum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfectfit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needsto make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll beworking late tonight! Here's your change. Have a greatafternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that?It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me.And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feellike a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry.Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me?My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite.All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie.Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry.Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks!It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?!- Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly.- Sure is. Between you and me,I was dying to get out of that office. You have gotto start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee!- Me? Hold it. Let's just stopfor a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decisionduring a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody.Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

#asks answered #anon #why is this first part of this worded like your not talking... to me... ur in my inbox...

9 notes · View notes

artistictrance · 7 years

Text

lgbt+ meme?

what is your sexual orientation? - demisexual :3c what is your romantic orientation? - demiromantic, so a full demi lol side note: demiromantic/demisexual is a person are ppl part of the ace community, they prefer to build a strong bond before even entering a relationship [and yes, im aware that most ppl are like this, but with demis its a bit more harder to feel attraction towards someone else without building a friendship first. of course nothing wrong with not finding anyone attractive, and no, it doesnt mean youre "picky"] what is your gender? - a female demigoddess cause why not B) [female] what is your sex? - like i said above, a female demigoddess [female] what pronouns do you use? - she/her/they/them how long have you been in the lgbtqa+ community for? - i have no clue tbh, i didnt realize i was demi till like...what?...2-3 yrs ago??? but then again, looking back during my middle/high school yrs ive always been demi and never noticed cause i thought i was straight [tho thats still kind of true, if that makes sense??? idk im still figuring it out] have you ever dated anyone in the lgbtqa+ community? if yes, explain what they identify as - ive been a single pringle so far my whole life how did you find out about the lgbtqa+ community? - tbh i didnt know much about the lgbt+ [besides gay/bi] till like college when i joined tumblr, so mostly from tumblr then some from school too (: do you have any friends in the lgbtqa+ community? -its funny cause my irl friends are mostly straight [minus 1 who is bi-curious], while the majority of my online friends are either gay, ace or both [with a few exceptional straight friends]. theyre all pretty great :3c have you ever been at a pride event? - no, but from the pictures ive seen it looks super fun! on a scale 0-10, how confident are you with your sexuality? - hmmm i guess 10? but i do remember when i first figured it out i was self-conscious about it cause i thought i was one of /those/ ppl who just picked a random sexuality to look "cool" till after some hard thinking/teaching, ive realized im ace af and proud B) on a scale 0-10 how confident are you with your gender? - idk, i dont really think much about it??? not sure how to explain it, but even if i identify as a girl, i dont really see myself as one? [maybe thats just my mind being mean to me and separating myself from all the other girls and yadda yadda. long explanation] are you out to anyone yet? - my mom and brother know, and all my friends do too but i guess most ppl just forget/dont remember what demi is do your parents know about your gender/sexuality? - yeah my mom knows, tho she has a bit of trouble understanding it, but i do my best to remind her and teach her again, and again do you ever get misgendered? -tbh i dont even know :/ i remember one time some guy in hs called me a guy cause of how i was dressed? [school hoodie and some jeans] but then again, he was a pretty annoying and stupid person so i dont really count it plus i wasnt the only girl wearing something like that on a cold day have you gotten any hate for your gender/sexuality? - not gender, but ive had close ppl tell me that "ppl shouldnt label themselves like this, it doesnt make sense" so obviously that hurt ;v; in all honesty, do you think that theres a sexuality that might not be valid? - no, all sexuality is valid. tho those toxic/nasty ones, i dont label them as "sexualities," i label them as "ppl who shouldn't talk to me, or my dogs, ever" do you own any pride merch? - nope, im not sure where to find some cool ace merch. [there was this kickass sweater my friend showed me and i love it to bits, but there was no link to buy it, i cri T v T] plus even if i did, idk when or where would be a good time to wear them ;v; do you think that theres a possibility that you might change your mind about your orientations/gender in the future? - i know im pretty confident in being demi. as for gender, idk, i just have to see : P what are your thoughts on people that identify as cis? - cis? you mean that store "cause it's spring"? [i kid you not, thats an actual store name, ive seen it with my own eyes] lol jk, i identify as cis [???], but besides me, they good folk (: [of course those who bully peeps who dont see themselves as cis are just bullies and i dont want you near me or my dogs 8) ] what are your thoughts on people that identify as straight? - nothing wrong with it, if youre cis, youre cis just remember my cis folk, dont judge or be mean to those who are trans, bi-gendered, etc. theyre ppl like you if someone saw you on the street, would they realize that you are in the lgbtqa+ community? if yes, why? - honeslty idk, i dont think aro/ace ppl really have a "look" to them? [ive tried looking it up and nothing much comes up other than pride clothing] other than we're hella good lookin' folk, be aware of us plus most of the creepy guys that hit on me think im allo. so i just feel like a cleverly disguised spy lol [alloromantic/allosexual or "allo" for short = basically means that ppl who are not aromantic and/or asexual ] on a scale 0-10 how familiar are your friends and family with the lgbtqa+ community? - since i teach my mom and brother stuff about this whenever i get the chance, theyre pretty ok [tho my mom has a hard time remembering the ones outside the "basic" ones like lesbian/gay, bi, pan. it mostly has to do that spanish is her 1st language so english can be confusing for her] as for irl friends, idk. i hardly talk to them about this, i doubt they even remember/know im demi but for my online friends, im pretty sure they know, lol This tag is almost over, did you enjoy it? - it was fun, i hope more ppl are aware of the aro/ace community and possible learn a few things about it :3c i want more ppl to know more about the aro/ace communities cause even if our population is kind of small, we're still here...eating all the food at the parties...petting all the cute animals > v > do you love yourself for who you are? - of course, sure it was kind of hard to get to where i am, and at times i still dont really feel part of the lgbt+ community, but i try to at least accept myself (: shout out to my sweet friend @dirtydaggy for suggesting i do this, it was fun thanks again friendo cX also check out their journal! [they did the same meme too!!!]

also im gonna tag:

@lunarprinc3 @thatsweaterdude

if i miss anyone [friends/mutuals] or you would like/not like to be tagged in the future, let me know c:

#Nightly Posts #tagged #i guess i should tag this as #personal #too? since it does relate about me?

2 notes · View notes

unproduciblesmackdown · 7 years

Text

if you were around for the pre-end-of-mh days you might remember times i like to talk to myself extensively, pointlessly, and dumbassedly about my own thoughts, which go nowhere and solve nothing. literally ignore me, talking about bring me the spider cup, i wanna prank crimmins natcho. my proclivity towards trying to figure out mysteries is matched only by my total inability to do so.

firstly i was like ok, this doesn’t necessarily mean eno knows who this guy is, which i think is true but unlikely. he’s probably met him before and while i think it would be funny if this is all some roundabout unnecessary revenge scheme by someone who considers eno his rival, i’d think it was more likely eno was kind of in a position like wallace where maybe they just worked in the same place. (sidenote: he is so clearly evil how do people share an office with him. please fix this mess jerry)

becoz the thing is it was a bit strange eno said he couldnt take a client via a social workers request with the reasoning that he’d left that life behind him? because he is a therapist now after all. but it would make more sense if he used to maybe be associated with / work for a company like that. i dont even know anything about privatised versions of social work but maybe it could work like that. and maybe he worked with crimcrom because sure, maybe crimmins just murdered his way into head of a company or other unsavory methods, and/or maybe also he has actual experience in the field. because maybe he was working at the same place as eno?

because honestly if i was going to take a very vague guess of where the social work is involved here, its that if youre going to do terrible dangerous medical experiments on people, you take people who have connections without the wealth/time/stability to investigate or else just people who wont be missed at all. people whose debilitating struggles and unstable situations you actually have documentation of. and it does seem like everyone with someone missing was relying on kent and co. to find them, because they couldnt themselves, because their sibling/whomever had been targeted for that exact reason, that their family/friends wouldnt have the means to find them. probably this has been going on for a while and most people are just killed and those who arent are kinda just chucked out somewhere to be found by whoever

anyways, the thing with eno, the idea he was working with/for a company earlier is a bit confusing too because its confusing that kent and yumi were killed but eno wasnt? theres the chance that the attempt simply failed, but i had thought that maybe because eno wasnt the semi-public face of the effort like kent was or an official worker like yumi, maybe nobody who put the hit out knew he was even involved. but since im guessing we’re guessing crimmins was directly/indirectly involved in the Day Of Murder and he knows about eno, thats not true……but then its a bit fuzzier why eno wasnt killed if he wasnt just helping out as a friend but sort of associated with his work, like yumi was. maybe it was part of a longer con, like as might be made clearer soonish. because unfortunately i really doubt crim would show his hand like this if he wasnt secure in everything favoring his schemes currently

it also makes sense that eno had been in a position like yumi’s because im also assuming eno thinks its his own files that someone had got hold of. cuz if yumi and kent had the same papers, surely eno did too. and if he was just keeping them to himself it would be one thing but if he was using them with his work like yumi was, then maybe it happened like he said it did only with his file/company in place of yumi’s. which makes sense coz of why he is so uncomfortable and why he was so surprised about it. probably he didnt suppose it had happened until kip said it did, and he suspects it was on his end that it happened but doesnt want to say it because its unpleasant and because he doesnt want to say it to kip.

i was hoping that gayness would be the wrench in the gears aka kip wasnt supposed to learn of the link between kents files and wallaces, but maybe he actually absolutely was? it would make sense why crimmins was so keen to make sure wallace got kip to work with him. because unless it is remarkably nuanced i doubt part of his plan involves trying to get wallace to directly harm anyone, cuz obvs he wouldnt, he is just motivated to not get fired and hopefully do good work. but it seems like a safe guess that kip would see wallaces papers even though kip really should be getting paid for this, and maybe crimmins was assuming that kip had already seen kents file? because if he had worked with eno and gotten his files, he would basically know what must be in kents files. and it apparently wasnt a secret that the files had made it out of the fire with kip

but its a hell of a con because its like, it seemed like a bonus that kip realized the coincidence, because why would crimmins want kip to suspect that wallace is somehow connected with the scheme that kent was investigating / his family and yumi were killed for? but apparently he could guess that kip would meet with eno about it, because i guess he’s tracking one or both of them. speaking of, im hoping that kip hasnt just gotten jumped. im sure its a concern on the best of days that eno told him to be safe, but it seems ominous

just like it seemed ominous when kip told wallace he trusts eno more than anyone. wallace sure learned a lot in those couple of days, namely: he already knows where kip lives exactly and who with and that they are good friends (not sure how coincidental it is that they live in the exact same building, maybe its just convenient), who kip’s ex-boyfriend is and where he works and who he works with and that he and kip have Strong Feelings for each other, who kip’s therapist is and that he sees him once a week and is a old and close friend whom kip trusts above all others, and i’m sure wallace has been able to pick up that kip has a dead brother and theres a story behind it and its a touchy subject. i mean, that’s mostly completely irrelevant info to put into a report, but maybe not if it was relevant to mention that he was working with kip since after all his boss had told him to. but probably crimmins was guessing that if wallace was making headway at all, he had got hold of kip. and since apparently he has eyes on people, that helps too. fix it jerry

im not thinking that its ominous that kip trusts eno so much because he shouldnt or because eno has been lying all along or something—like, if eno suspects himself for being involved in something now, im supposing he hadnt thought so before or hadnt considered it mattered because everything about how everything happened was moot because nobody was going to be continuing the matter and everyone was leading totally different lives. and as for currently, its not like i think eno is like, having the past catch up with him aka he’s betrayed kip or anyones trust before. i mean maybe eno has some totally unrelated dark secret that can be held over him, but even then i doubt that it would be anything where he would be forced to do something to endanger kip to protect himself. rather, i’d guess he might be given more of a non-choice in which he has to do something that will endanger kip because the threat is of causing kip immediate harm. what seems worst is that crimmins is really showing his hand early here maybe, or anyways, he thinks that theres no possible way for eno to prevent whatever crim wants to have happen. which is like, bad

and if he knows how much kip trusts eno, which he probably does, thats bad too…

if wallaces only purpose though was to show kip the files he had, that also has to mean rousing kip’s suspicion…..also, if kip had known about kents files before he’d seen wallace’s, wouldnt he potentially be immediately suspicious enough of wallace to cut off ties with him? maybe that doesn’t matter idk. b/c tbh it seems like theres only so much you can do w/ wallace while preserving his “unwitting involvement in an evil scheme” status, you cant ask him to do anything non-job related. unless his reports are doubling as surveillance or something. but he wouldnt do anything he thought was harmful or over his bounds. even asking him to get kip involved was weird, but at least crim seemed to accurately count on wallace caring too much abt his job to object with stuff rather than simply doing what he had to to keep it

like, clearly something about kip is important to crim’s schemes but how could i guess what. because im guessing we dont have enough information yet, but even if you gave me the info we have now and told me to fill in the blanks however i wanted, i couldnt come up with anything. im really really dumb as hell and not creative enough to take the ventures required to come up with accurate theories. but ok, medical experiments, it could just be anti-monster, but it could also be pro-human which happens to be anti-monster aka more exploitative. cuz it doesnt seem like theyre “Kill All Monsters” as much as “its fine if monsters die but if theyre alive we’ll just dump them somewhere because we just literally assign them no value unless somehow they’re useful towards whatever’s going on here.”

coz kip has two powers: 1) he’s a beloved semipublic figure, and 2) ice and he’s cold

and he has one majorly exploitable weakness in that he’s very afraid for his surrogate family, generally more scared than the average person of being murdered horribly, and knows he has good reasons for that and also trauma

but it seems like if crim wanted to get hold of kip by threatening his loved ones, he could do that at any time? why would wallace need to be involved at all; he wouldnt. why does he need to tip kip off about his own schemes. why did he need to wait five years? why has there been this five year gap? simply development of the mystery scheme? or is it because kip has moved back to c and/or because kip is a semi-public figure again

coz reading between the lines but im supposing that kip had earnestly and strongly intended to follow in kent’s footsteps but was presumably discouraged from this when his family was murdered. but even tho he only told wallace about moving back to c because roy and molly missed it, in the intervention that gets sprung on him and other hints, it sounds like kip still considers himself dedicated to helping people like kent did, which is what his sjw blog is, but he’s majorly aware of the danger of that and unwilling to get anyone killed this time, which is a major limitation, seeing as that happened to him before and everyone is disappeared all the time w/o repercussion. except the repercussion of one tiny group of people who look into it and get murdered, except for eno

but also kip must not have been doing any Helping The Public stuff before he moved to C, because when he says he has to help wallace to justify having thrown so much away, and considering how he’d lost so much in the fire, presumably what he’s thrown away is his life with pascal. im guessing he couldnt have made roy and molly split from him even if he tried, but pascal apparently could be parted from. for like a week, but whatever. he’d been dating pascal before the fire, but if he hadnt been involved in any position of openly helping monsters before the fire and hadnt before moving back to C, that explains why he tried to convince pascal not to go with them.

anyways, uh, see ive lost track of what i was saying. that, while kip is so afraid for the safety of those too close to him, he can also be pressured into a riskier position. but thats by his friends and himself. but maybe if he’s going to be given false information he thinks is from eno, he could do other risky things too. cuz i doubt theres any real protection, as if kent and yumi and eno werent trying to be safe. im guessing kip’s just trying to keep his head down and his cards close to his chest. its frustrating because technically he was right to be immediately suspicious of wallace to the point of associating him with the death of his family and being afraid of helping wallace, but not because wallace’s personal intentions arent good. but still its going to be really awkward if kip gets an idea of what wallace is associated with. cuz its an extremely delicate process that would allow wallace to figure out what was going on and break the news to kip and have kip trust him, so delicate that i doubt it exists and anyways the odds are not in its favor. but its frustrating because i want people to not be friends and not feel betrayed by their bosses and each other and even better, to be friends working together to resolve murders and an evil scheme

anyways. what does crim need from kip. stuff he knows? i doubt he’s trying to corrupt kip’s blog, or otherwise exploit the fact that kip’s probably a trusted community figure. for starters, crim’s already been getting away completely with abduction, murder, arson, etc, for years. unless theres some new Phase of the plan that requires something new. but again, it seems like a big ol coincidence that kip and co moved to C five months before wallace was moved into their exact building with the goal of getting involved with kip, tho wallace obviously doesnt know about all that stuff yet. why does it matter that kips in C. did crim not know where he was prior? did he need kip to be involved in the public sphere so that he could catch hold of him by sending out a social worker too naive and earnest to focus on the suspicious evilness of his new boss? did he just not need kip yet???

it seems strange to consider that crim could like, blackmail or threaten either kip or eno longterm. like, is he about to make a move here. because yeah they both have reasons to be extremely protective of people, which can be leveraged. but like wallace, i dunno how far they could be pushed with doing anything obviously harmful, or doing anything for anyone so obviously evilly motivated. or how long such a chokehold could be maintained. eno being threatened with kip’s wellbeing and being pressured into manipulating kip in one way or another is one thing, and even then how could he be threatened more than once. how could he be expected not to do something to warn someone if the pressing is let up for even a moment? is the point to abduct eno maybe and make kip feel even more afraid, because that would probably admittedly be super effective, but i imagine kip would just withdraw completely from things like being involved with wallace, blogging, etc. but to try to coerce kip into doing something by threatening multiple people is trickier, and what could kip do?

the thing is that i could see kip as being targeted for the ice thing, because thats another coincidence, that he has a really strong ability that seems pretty unusual even for monsters. like, freezing freshly brewed hot tea in a few seconds is really something. and i’m supposing he survived the fire by freezing himself / ice protection, which is really really something. and maybe the fact that he’s also an sjw who’s always scared that someones going to get hurt or killed is just a way to get to him. coz maybe, even probably, kip wasnt supposed to survive the fire, but just be another casualty because crim and co do not give a shit about bothering to spare any monsters life. but the fact that he did, using ice, and that he had his brothers files, all probably wasnt a secret. i mean, the surviving and the files part definitely wasnt, but just knowing the place was on fire and he survived ok probs implies that he had the ability to protect himself somehow, and thats a really impressive ability

so like maybe whatever traits theyre looking for makes kip the ideal target. maybe for once they felt like they couldnt just steal him away normally, but idk why they wouldnt. for example if crim just wanted to kidnap kip, maybe he just has. but that seems like wallace wouldnt need to be involved and eno wouldnt need to be involved and why wait til he’s in C? he doesnt need flushing out to be stolen off the street; he travels to B at least once a week on a schedule and he walks to work.

again, probably theres necessary info we dont even have that will fill in a missing piece here, but even now im too stupid to expand on the stuff we know to imagine up something that would fill in that blank. im too horrible at reading/understanding peoples motivations to even fully Get basic interactions sometimes, and im too uncreative to even come up with stuff like say, guess what crim’s trying to develop over there. maybe theres something about moving from development to initiation that needs kip’s particular involvement (??how??). but why has there been five years of them having been left alone in D, maybe, although how do we even know that

idk all i know is im stupid and i dont like that everyone is going to be even more miserable and endangered and mysteries are a trial for me because i want to die and dont want to have to deal with dying on a cliffhanger, i’ll be an angry ghost. ive probably forgotten a tangent or two i wanted to touch on and that makes me an angry pre-ghost. w/e

0 notes

xasherahx · 7 years

Text

Confused

Im so confused right now. I dont know whats up and down on my feelings. I was at a job interview yesterday. I didnt expect to get the job seing how i knew i didnt met the requirements, and i know i did all i could and more. Yet today when they called and told me i didnt get the job i felt sad, but happy at the same time. No im sitting here at the middle of the night feeling pathetic and weak, yet strong and like i accomplished something. I literally feel like im going to throw up cause its causing a weird ache in my chest. I feel like i should just give up on everything, yet im desperately looking for something to cling onto to not do that.

Ive started talking to this guy over a page on the internet. We have already decided to just be friends and wait and se what happens after we actually met. And im fine with that. I dont wanna rush into anything when im as fragile as i am right now. Yet im sure im falling for him at times. Like I wanna talk to him all the time. I stalk his instagram and facebook and other pages to se what hes up to. And when i se that he have liked a picture of other girls, my chest hurt. But then the next time i dont feel anything at all? Like sure we have talked about sex and such and im basically his slave, but that doesn't mean i have anything to say. One of the first things he said when we started talking about it is that im free to do whomever i please when im not around him. And of course the same goes for him. Even tho im as mono as a human person can be. Yet he makes it seem like he just want to be with me even tho his sex-drive is out the roof?

The best thing with this guy is that he respects me and seem to be honest about things. If i answer something stupid he still answer the questions (most of the time). He cares alot about my mental health. Alot more then ive ever done. Or anyone else have to be honest. Hes a really sweet funny guy. He takes time out of his free time to talk with me and to learn me how too play league of legends, just so we can play together. He praises me when i do good things, and he dont scold me when i fuck up in any shape or form. Hes patient whit my negativity and self hatred. He tries to help me get better. He makes me feel good looking at times and he makes me smile and laugh even when i feel like shit. And im starting to crave for his attention more and more for each day that pass. But yet again, i dont think its a crush? But i have no idea what else to call it.

He have in just some weeks sneaked his way into my head and broken down the walls one by one and gotten me to open up about things i thought id never tell anyone (and that is making me raise my guard even more cause i have no idea how to act). He have gained my trust in no time at all. Not fully but its not far from it. And just that is a huge achievement, seing how i barely trust my friends ive known my whole life. I dont feel like i deserve him in any kind of way. But yea i dont think i deserve anything or anyone.

Then there is this really nice sad guy ive just talked with for a few days. I feel like i can be myself when i talk to him. Hes kinda cute, nice and all. The typical guy i know i tend to fall for. Thing is, hes 19. And i know age is just a number but its setting me off so badly. And he seems so sensitive. I feel like if i stay around ill tip him over the edge that hes already balancing on. But i dont want to stop talking to him. He said hes happy i listen when he opens up and hes happy that we talk. But i dont know. I feel like im setting him off by telling him about things. And i haven't even opened up that much yet.. Barely cracked the lid. And i dont want to scare him away just cause im fucked up.

And then we have my so called best friend that ive known since i turned 13. Everything changed after he and creepie broke up. He changed. He started lying about things before that but he never treated me bad until last year. The one person i trusted fully flipped the coin and turned into something and someone i dont know anymore. The one person i felt like i could actually talk to invited me over to stay with him for a week then, during the days i was at creepies place, decide that a tinder chick that he basically just want to fuck is more important then his (his own words) best friend? His best friend that took money she didnt have just to go and visit him cause HE was feeling depressed and hated being alone. So he changes his plans making me break down and get pissed off enough to jell at him. And he still to this day dont understand why i actually got mad, at least what i think. His new girlfriend is a really sweet girl. Hit it off with her directly. And she forced him to talk to me about it. He apologized about him acting like a cunt but something in his eyes made me feel like he still had no idea what he had done to me. What he had caused. I went to him before new years. I was so nervous i had to take my anxiety pills. That should say it all.

Ontop of all this shit AF is at my back about me getting a job. They thing i should get a job that basically marks me a Mentally broken person. Just cause i haven't been able to land a job yet. Just cause i cant the tom understand that i literally CANT work with anything unless i have a interest for it. They dont understand when i tell them im 110 % sure i have Asperger's. Ive also gotten the paper saying they are looking into it and that im in line for the next part of it. Yet they seem to think im just lazy and stubborn.

But ey at least i got that going for me. The psychiatrist finally agreed with me. Almost 2 years later im finally getting somewhere with that. Just had to slip between the chairs 3 times before anything happened, but you know thats normal and can get brushed aside by saying sorry. At least thats what the three people i met think. They thought i had read up about it and knew what i was talking about at least. Of course i know what im talking about. I wouldnt be sitting there if i didnt. Ive lived with it my whole life. I just didnt realize it had a fucking name until my brother got the diagnose some years ago.

Back to the topic males i guess.. Lately ive started talking to more and more males. I keep carving some sort of recognition. Even tho its not the right kind. All they do is want to put their dick in me, yet i keep talking to them, “flirting”. And i dont like that at all. Ive never needed someones acceptance before. Ive never craved for someone to lust for me either. I have no idea why im changing like this. I dont like it but i dont think i can stop it. I know its a new way for me to hurt myself. Ive basically switched cutting to sex. Just havent physically fucked anyone yet. And yea i still cutt when i cant handle my anxiety so. Guess i havent replaced it at all. Just added another bad habit.

My parents are soon out on the road cause the state have taken their house and they cant get a apartment. All cause they where late on one payment. One fucking payment in 10 years. And thats enough for them to loose their home? They aint allowed to get a place with a rent higher then 5000 skr a month. There are literally no apartments for that low rent out there right now. They found a house outside of linköping that my dad fell inlove with, but its like 12000skr a month so they aint allowed to take that one. So in the end of next month my parents will most likely be living in a caravan on a friends garden. And my brother with his girlfriend and her parents. Cause thats totally a way to handle it. And cause of all this ive gotten to take the role as my moms shrink. Every time we meet its always something new she need to vent about. And i cant handle it. It makes me even more stressed about the situation then i already am. My life should be enough. I shouldnt have to handle hers aswell. But i cant say no to her. I cant open up to her about my problems cause shed break then. So ill just have to keep the mask up i guess and break down when i get home after every visit.

Ive started working out abit aswell. I know ive lost some weight, i can even se it myself. Still i feel like i hate myself more and more for each day that comes. I feel like my life is never going to get better. I feel like im drowning. And i have no idea how long i can stay afloat.

0 notes

derpaholicraccoon · 7 years

Note

You like jazz?

Actually I don’t. But I’ve always wondered you know about jazz and how in tune it seems to be to bees ya know and that always leads me to think of how beyond all known laws of aviation a bee shouldnt be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to getits fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't carewhat humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow!Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry?- Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening?- I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your fatherpaid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate.We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz.- Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.- Bye! Barry, I told you,stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam.- Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel?- A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school,three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I tooka day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry.- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie?- Yeah. - You going to the funeral?- No, I'm not going. Everybody knows,sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel.Such a hothead. I guess he could havejust gotten out of the way. I love this incorporatingan amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp...under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men.- We are! - Bee-men.- Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oitygraduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your careerat Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennasinside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like?- A little scary. Welcome to Honex,a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee,have worked your whole life to get to the point where youcan work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant PollenJocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected,scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctivegolden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot.- She's my cousin! - She is?- Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right.- At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspectof bee existence. These bees are stress-testinga new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes?- Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement,the Krelman. - What does that do?- Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it.Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs aresmall ones. But bees know that every small job,if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the jobyou pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life?I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees,as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?"How can you say that? One job forever?That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only haveto make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could theynever have told us that? Why would you question anything?We're bees. We're the most perfectlyfunctioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe thingswork a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you knowwhat I'm talking about. Please clear the gate.Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!- Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's likeoutside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks!- Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters!You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were.- I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knowswhere, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a PollenJock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollenthan you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol.Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing itand the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies?Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys.- Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerousbeing a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned meagainst a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat,and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my!- I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today,wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patchsix miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh?- Barry! A puddle jump for us,but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am.- You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy?Are you bee enough? I might be. It all dependson what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices.- But you only get one. Do you ever get boreddoing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you justmove it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm.It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad,the more I think about it, maybe the honey fieldjust isn't right for me. You were thinking of what,making balloon animals? That's a bad jobfor a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not surehe wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes.- I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're goinginto honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer?- No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now.I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Geta gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today!- Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobswill be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available?- Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations!Step to the side. - What'd you get?- Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first?- No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open,not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman?- Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See?He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up.Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling,stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven,lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, whatdo you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patchin quadrant nine... What happened to you?Where are you? - I'm going out.- Out? Out where? - Out there.- Oh, no! I have to, before I goto work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave,there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that.- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you.- OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know,bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always,watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs,birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reportsof root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it,babbling like a cicada! - That's awful.- And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one,absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check.- Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check.- Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias,you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader.We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid.It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close?- No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle itover here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one.See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, moreflowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowersseems to be on the move. Say again? You're reportinga moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good.Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys!- This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him?- I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey,because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something!- I'm driving! - Hi, bee.- He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move,he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension levelout here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you closethe window please? Ken, could you closethe window please? Oheck out my new resume.I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time.This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my specialskills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they'reflabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sunhaving a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter.At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them!This thing could kill me! Why does his life haveless value than yours? Why does his life have any less valuethan mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. Youdon't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him.It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone outis also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there.- Bye. - Supposed to be less calories.- Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life.I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law.You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it?"You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking.- Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine.I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure thisis very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me.I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposedto be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you.It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee.- Yeah. I'm talking to a bee.And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful.I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that?- What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess."Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny.- Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something?- Like what? I don't know. I mean...I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee.- I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous!- Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't.- Have some. - No, I can't.- Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where?- These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you knowanything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cabas they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church.The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon?I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive,but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do?- Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer ora doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really?- My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just electedwith that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area.I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes?- Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee.- Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am?- Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great.Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks!- Yeah. All right. Well, then...I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank youso much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go.We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing.- It was amazing! It was the scariest,happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believeyou were with humans! Giant, scary humans!What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things.They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV?- Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back?- Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You sawwhatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now youcan pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well...- Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!- No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider?- I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing,with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law.You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa.- Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talkingto humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s!One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life!And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb.- It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat.That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is?- No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot!- Listen to me! We are not them! We're us.There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can denythe heart that is yearning? There's no yearning.Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee,my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee.- Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days!Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisionsto think about. What life? You have no life!You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill youto make a little honey? Barry, come out.Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here.- I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me?- Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going?- I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge paradeof flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses,that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surroundedby flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the rosescompete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one.How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't yourun everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see.All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease.It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting.It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully.You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out.Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?!- It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody.Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages.Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got thatdown to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.- I'll bet. What in the nameof Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here?Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor?- I never heard of him. - Why is this here?- For people. We eat it. You don't haveenough food of your own? - Well, yes.- How do you get it? - Bees make it.- I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring.You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic.- It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this!This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools,hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?!I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottomof all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done?- Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out,with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something.So you can talk! I can talk.And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff?Who's your supplier? I don't understand.I thought we were friends. The last thing we wantto do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossedthe wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunchfor my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knewwhat hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anythingthat moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms.I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you?- He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?!- Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade!- Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything haveto be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes!Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington,I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee!- Moose blood guy!! - You hear something?- Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars,as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goesis where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight.- We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own.Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble?- You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack.See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world.You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up,get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leavethe building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys!- Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here.Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brainthe size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker.- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of thisknocks them right out. They make the honey,and we make the money. "They make the honey,and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you'rein a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here.We had no choice. This is your queen?That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolenon a massive scale! This is worse than anything bearshave done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are takingour honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory.These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What?- Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend.And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could.- Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you wantto do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives.Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember youcoming home so overworked your hands were still stirring.You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put itin lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt.- No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can stingthe humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's onlyfull-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.- And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human racefor stealing our honey, packaging it and profitingfrom it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here inour studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies,out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kidfrom the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraidto change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus?Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinkingof stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee communityis supporting you in this case, which will be the trialof the bee century. You know, they have a Larry Kingin the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a showand suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from theguest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week!They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attackat the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke!I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please.Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee?- Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello.- Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, sizeten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing.You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam herehas been a huge help. - Frosting...- How many sugars? Just one. I try notto use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, peopleare giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic!- Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worsethan a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make upfor it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.- I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done withthe humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home,"without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scenehere in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits,because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselvesif a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humansdon't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinationalfood companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to staybehind the barricade. - What's the matter?- I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The HonorableJudge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York,Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representingthe five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representingall the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery,your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believedit was man's divine right to benefit from the bountyof nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy worldMr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiatewith the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-captureHollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism!Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen,there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee.Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees.We invented it! We make it. And we protect itwith our lives. Unfortunately, there aresome people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys!I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey,you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like thatall the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhaydenof Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also ownHoneyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepersfor our farms. Beekeeper. I find thatto be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employany bee-free-ers, do you? - No.- I couldn't hear you. - No.- No. Because you don't free bees.You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would bean appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashingthrough your living room?! Biting into your couch!Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before?- I was with a band called The Police. But you've never beena police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so herewe have yet another example of bee culture casuallystolen by a human for nothing more thana prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feelinga little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first,belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spoton ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resumethat you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoilthat's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is thiswhat it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless beesso you don't have to rehearseyour part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson!I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella.This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step onthis creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court!- You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it!- Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully niceof that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken!- Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late.I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste,so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left.I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself.The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit.Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating withchopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to findthe rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment,but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just whatI was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razorfor his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that?- Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why isyour life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing.- Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey!I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to bethe nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?!Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things buggingme in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from ridingon this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificialsweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's gotan aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kindof barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it.Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomeryis about out of ideas. We would like to callMr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he'sconsidered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you'vegotta weave some magic with this jury,or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I haveto do to turn this jury around is to remind themof what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers?- Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask youwhat I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends?- Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two.From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birthto all the bee children? - Yeah, but...- So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry...- Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee,aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection!- I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venomis coursing through my veins! I have been felledby a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat themlike equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thingthey know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me.- I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercywill come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybeesversus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legalteam stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy.- Hey. - Is there much pain?- Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters isyou're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteriadownstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there'sa little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then...and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry.I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We'rejust a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to usif they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels.That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in,but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurseto close that window? - Why?- The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke!But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall.Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result,we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor,haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enoughof this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allowthese absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compellingevidence to support their charges against my clients,who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissalof this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to considerMr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof?Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor!You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this?This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly,let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked,"Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addictedto smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slavesto the white man? - What are we gonna do?- He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please,free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honeywill finally belong to the bees. Now we won't haveto work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversionof the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren,and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right?- What do you mean? We've been living the bee waya long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory.What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdownof all bee work camps. Then we want back the honeythat was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorificationof the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly,bad-breath stink machine. We're all awareof what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseousfor a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer toleratebee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honeyin bogus health products and la-dee-da humantea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down!- Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail.Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believehow much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating?- They're home. They don't know what to do.Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his wayto San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humansliked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world!I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was mynew job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understandwhy they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing.Honey really changes people. You don't have any ideawhat's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me?- This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to makehoney would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers.Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affectsthe entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here,couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me.- Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry...sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving?Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses paradein Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekendbecause all the flowers are dying. It's the last chanceI'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses.Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers!- Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know.That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not.Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake.This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet.I wanted to help you with the flower shop.I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it'sgreater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses,the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plantand flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've gotback here with what we've got. - Bees.- Park. - Pollen!- Flowers. - Repollination!- Across the nation! Tournament of Roses,Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothingbut flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside,we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess,and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit?- What are you? - I believe I'm the pea.- The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.- I'm getting the marshal. You do that!This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we dois blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport,there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float?- Yes. Has it beenin your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger.- It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun.Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll havejust enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? Wehave just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers,this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weatherin New York. It looks like we'll experiencea couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowerswith no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up thereand talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get helpwith the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talkinginflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal?- Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!- Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers.This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24Bplease report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster,a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat,they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke?- No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome.I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious,and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboardhave flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that?- Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing morethan a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?- Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry!We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have somelate-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful sceneis developing. Barry Benson,fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane,loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the areaand two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute.There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Bensonand his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a beeshouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wingsand body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air!- Got it. - Stand by.- We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of beesdoing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well,it makes a big difference. More than we realized.To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get beesback to working together. That's the bee way!We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow!- Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover?- Forget hover. This isn't so hard.Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we wereon autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me.- And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's getbehind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do,you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling!We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentratewith that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together.You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it! - Hold it!- Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowersfor a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow.- Hello. All right, let's drop this tin canon the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee.- Thinking bee. Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute.I think I'm feeling something. - What?- I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac?- Get some lights on that! Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower.- OK. Out the engines. We're going inon bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one!- Which one? - That flower.- I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry!- This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this planeflying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid.Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it!You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five!- Right. Barry, it worked!Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of courseI saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you.- But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is coveredwith the last pollen from the last flowersavailable anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey,pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species,this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjustMuseum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfectfit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needsto make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll beworking late tonight! Here's your change. Have a greatafternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that?It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me.And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feellike a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry.Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me?My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite.All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie.Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry.Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks!It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?!- Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly.- Sure is. Between you and me,I was dying to get out of that office. You have gotto start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee!- Me? Hold it. Let's just stopfor a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decisionduring a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody.Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

#personal #ask #anon #anon asks #answers #bees #hope this was worth it

0 notes