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#he sucks at representing women
seneon · 3 months
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wtf is mashle and why is every guy i’ve seen in it so fine😕😕
harry potter but 2d with a magicless boy who uses raw abilities and YES OML
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sttoru · 1 month
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Trueform sukuna who never kisses his concubines. EXCEPT he only kisses his favorite concubine aka reader 😞🎀
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𝝑𝑒 synopsis. you’re the only one deserving of lord sukuna’s.. direct affection.
tags. true form!sukuna x concubine!reader. fluff, suggestive at most. uhh exhibitionism ? kinda but nothing crazy sexual happens, so pda. size difference. reader gets called ‘doll.’
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you’re standing at the entrance of the estate, along with some other concubines. four of them. uraume is there with you as well. you’re all awaiting the one person you’re serving; ryomen sukuna.
it’s silent. the women don’t dare to speak up nor do they dare address you in a menacing manner because of uraume’s presence. you’re thankful for them. you really don’t want to have another petty fight with the concubines. not before your little trip to the village nearby.
you’re all accompanying sukuna to meet up with an infamous clan leader. it’s official business, but you’re needed as a sign of your lord’s high status. you’re basically his trophies that he likes to show off.
“interesting choice of clothing,” sukuna finally shows up. you all bow, showing respect. you look up and only then realise that he’s addressing you. his eyes wander over your figure, “who’s chosen that for you?”
you glance down at your kimono. it’s a beautiful red—suiting the color of sukuna’s eyes. your hair is put up in a neat bun, with a matching crimson hairpin that represented who you belong to.
him.
“my lady-in-waiting, my lord,” you say quietly. you cannot see it, yet can easily feel it; the jealous glares from the four women. they’re dressed in the exact same color red, yet their lord hasn’t paid them any mind. not even a glance.
sukuna just hums in response and makes a mental note of your answer. at least his human servants are good for something. he continues to shamelessly check you out.
“lord sukuna,” uraume interrupts carefully. they bow their head once the king of curses looks their way with a stoic expression, “we’ll have to leave now if we wish to make it there at dawn.”
it’s a gentle reminder, but there’s some urgency in their voice. sukuna rolls his eyes—he may have some official business, but he’s not attending that. not before taking care of other more important stuff first. “silence,” he comments to uraume, heavy steps heading your way afterwards.
your eyes meet his. you blink in confusion, eyelashes fluttering. the sight makes sukuna’s hands twitch at his sides. the way you stare up at him with such naïveté is making him want to destroy it.
you’re unsure what sukuna wants from you. as he orders, everyone stays quiet. you watch as his big hands wrap around your body—your waist engulfed by his warm palms. your eyes widen, but before you can question his actions, your lips are sealed by his.
it’s rare that he does this. kissing sukuna is a privilege. one that no one has ever gotten the honour of having, except for you.
you’ve tasted him. you’ve felt his tongue slither against yours. you’ve had his saliva mix with yours. you’ve had him grunting in your mouth.
you’ve had it all.
no one says a thing. even as your feet are lifted from the ground by the sheer strength of sukuna’s grip on your small body. to reach his lips properly, he has to pick you up and hold you against his chest. it’s his favorite thing to do.
“pretty thing,” sukuna coos with a grin. you can feel his lips curling up menacingly against your mouth. it makes you whine. you instantly shut up once you realise that you’re still outside and surrounded by others—who are basically waiting on you two to be done.
you’re embarrassed to the point that you want nothing more than to hide your face against sukuna’s chest. but he will not let you until he’s had his fill. your tongues swirl around each other passionately, followed by him sucking on your bottom lip and biting it with his sharp fangs.
“my lord,” you whine quietly. you know this’ll end up like that one time in the garden. where he shamelessly took you in front of his servants. you’re unsure if it’s a smart thing to do right now. sukuna has an appointment to go to after all.
his mouth doesn’t stop interlocking with yours. his thick fingers tug at the hairs on the back of your neck, causing you to part your lips in surprise. the king of curses takes his chance and explores your warm little mouth. the one that he’s claimed as his the moment you became his concubine.
you tug at his sleeve as a reminder. sukuna grumbles in annoyance, but he knows you’re right; he should let go. his bottom set of eyes dart over to uraume for a second and upon seeing their expressionless yet determined face, he sighs.
all that official business can suck his dick.
sukuna finally detaches his lips from your now wet and swollen ones. you’re breathing hard, trying to catch your breath. you’re flustered to the point you actually bury your face into sukuna’s chiseled chest. you’re sure this’ll be the only talk around the estate for the upcoming week. you’ll become the victim of some more. . . bullying.
the king of curses notices that you don’t let go of him at all. he grins at the sight of you so desperately clinging onto him. he tries to undo the little mess he made of your once neat hair in the meantime.
“what? want me to carry you all the way there, doll?” sukuna raises an eyebrow, teasing you as per usual. you don’t let go of him since you’re still cooling off. you’ve never really kissed outside of the bedroom. it always happens behind closed doors, so this one time took you by surprise.
you shake your head and plop down on your feet again. “no, my apologies, my lord,” you straighten the material of your kimono and don’t even dare to look at the others. uraume would understand, since they’re used to their lord’s antics, but the concubines will cause big trouble once you’re back home.
sukuna nods in acknowledgment. he still got that evil smirk on his face. his thumb brushes the smudged lipstick from the corner of your mouth, cleaning up his mess once again. he’s nice enough to do so today.
“heh.” sukuna lets out an amused chuckle before walking away and ahead of you—the others silently following, as do you. you’re right behind him, on his right side, as he turns his head to yours, “just so y’know, i’m not done with you.”
you know sukuna isn’t. you can easily tell by the way that he didn’t even bother to wipe the lipstick from his own lips. he’s wearing that stain like it’s a medal of sorts. evidence that you’re the only one he’s ever going to show such affection to.
either way; you’re in for one hell of a ride once you’re back from your little business trip.
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kn11ves · 9 months
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rverytime trans people tell other trans people to lose the peircings, lose the colourful hair, lose the thick eyebrows, get surgery, lose weight, an angel dies
#i know most people just want to look like whitsociety wants them tk but for gods sake women you have a face and boys you can have a#fashion which represents your gender identity#im so serious i get so upset they always tell teans women to get surgery foe their ''thick brow bone'' their faces their cheeks get laser#for their facial hair#then tell trans men you cant fuckingwear anything that isnt boring ever. your skin is too soft your body is too soft ts so fucking#upserting for tela i real a comment that was like your skin looks smooth and soft you dont pass towards a trans men its like fucking what.#and he even passed as a cis boy#goodness gracias women can have a face and men can have skin#AND THEIR SHOULDERS THEY ALWAYS BITCH ABOUT PEPPLES SHOULDERS you have mans shoulders tjeire too thick you have womens shoulders theyre too#soft meanwhile had the person not speciifed they wiuodnt be aboe to tell#most teanspassimg subreddits are jusy a way for trans people to hate themselves furhtwr. i know what its like to want to pass i want peoppe#to think im amab too. but losing everything that you like and makes you feel happy isnt worth it#spending thousans and thousands of dollars on surgerh and makeup isnt worrh it its fucking not#yiure allowed to helage a face specially towards WOC urealooqes to have a face it incoudes body hair it includes ''masculine'' featjres#its your fafe its your race its okay. you dint have to look white youre beautuil its not hyg boxing stop it stop it its suck youre fine#youreokay youre a woman km so sick over this
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dyketubbo · 1 year
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girl help i have a hater
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fairuzfan · 2 months
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Would you rather have a president that enables a genocide? Or would you rather have a president that vilifies immigrants, promotes facism, dismantles the rights of women and minorities, emboldens white nationalists, worsens the wage gap, defunds vital services, AND enables a genocide?
It's an unfair and unreasonable question to ask. I know. Unfortunately those are our choices for president. It sucks, but it's a 2 party system. And until any change is made where a 3rd party vote is no longer equivalent to not voting at all, it's better to just vote blue for the presidential election. Not because Democrats are the "lesser evil", but because NOT having a Republican president will prevent further suffering of Americans and will lessen the risks of minorities' rights being threatened and revoked.
The president chooses the members of the supreme court who hold lifelong positions and whose legal decisions have decades-long ramifications. Trump picked 3 of the 11 current members who currently hold a Republican majority. It was that supreme court that overturned Roe V Wade and that decision is harming thousands of people today in multiple states.
Biden already nominated one SCOTUS, and in his next term he could appoint 1-2 more Democratic members who would work to protect rather than erode American rights.
The Trump administration was lethal for thousands of Americans for a multitude of reasons, including his failure to properly respond to and then proceeded to politicize the COVID-19 pandemic.
As awful as it sounds, as hard as it is to believe in the moment, ESPECIALLY with the atrocities Biden is perpetuating in Palestine right now, don't believe for a moment that this genocide would be even slightly less cruel under Trump. The difference is Trump's cruelties would extend to Americans as well— especially immigrants.
The point I'm making is the only ethical choice for this election is to vote for Biden, but at the same time that vote is not the same as condoning his actions. Don't let voting be the end all for political action, and I hope you understand why this choice is necessary in an unfair voting system. Please participate in your local elections, Call your representatives. Continue demanding a permanent ceasefire and an end of Israel's occupation over Palestine. And please keep helping Palestinians.
I think it's quite wild to say people domestically haven't been dying under Biden. Hundreds of thousands disabled people have died during the Biden presidency due to covid. I myself only got covid because people around my family stopped masking. Even some of my family members stopped masking because of the CDC thing. There have been countless other things that I'm too tired to list as well that directly contributed to the death of people.
I'm sorry I don't know why you sent this I'm not going to change my mind. I'm not voting for the man that killed people I know and lied to our faces about it.
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lyinginthesnow · 11 months
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i like to entertain myself by thinking about Bad Succession -> (alternate reality succession where it sucks). constant sepia-tinted flashbacks to traumatic childhood memories, with echoey abusive dad dialogue. post-car accident kendall is haunted by a hallucination of the waiter everywhere he goes. shiv has girlboss moments where she triumphs against misogynistic men and they learn not to underestimate women. once you get started you can’t stop.. the ideas are endless. they would try to make kendall into a rebellious bad boy type with personal demons. he would have a scene where he stares into a cracked mirror to represent his fractured psyche
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bangtanintotheroom · 2 months
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Plug & Play (M)
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• Pairing: Guitarist!Hongjoong x (F)Reader
• Genre: Non-Idol!AU, Rock Band!AU, Smut, Strangers to Lovers
• Rating: 18+
• Words: 10.3k
• Summary: Tonight is the night that you quit being a bystander and make a move towards the guitarist on stage with the devilish smile.
• Warnings/themes: a rock show!, swearing, drinking, pining, Y/N is a horny bean, Hongjoong and his dangerous smiles 🫠, Yeosang the wingman, flirting, making out, semi-public sex, oral (f. receiving), mentions of oral (m. receiving), dirty talk, fingering, fingers in mouth, finger sucking, protected sex (be responsible!), clothed sex, multiple orgasms
• Notes: SHE’S HEEEEERE 🗣️ the manifestation of my new love for yet another leader hehehehe 😚 I don't have much to say other than thank you to @the-boy-meets-evil for doing a look-over, everyone enjoy and think of blond, rockstar HJ the whole time!
• Taglist: @loveateez @mellikestoread @itza-meee @roomsofangel @minisugakoobies @minttangerines @kiestrokes
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“I’m gonna fuck him.”
Yeosang stared at you from behind the counter, wondering if he heard you right amidst the clinking glasses and rock music.
“Excuse me?”
“I said, I’m gonna fuck him, Yeo.”
“Who?”
You rolled your eyes, rotating ninety degrees to point at the object of your desire on the stage.
“Him.”
There was little surprise on your end at the scoff you heard from behind.
“You’re still on that mission?”
Your head whipped around incredulously. “Yes! Why are you shocked by this?”
Yeosang’s expression reeked of indifference as he wiped some bottles down.
“Because I thought you would have given up by now.”
“I don’t give up easily, dude—” Your eyes watched as that certain someone tuned their guitar strings. “—especially when I really want something.”
And you really wanted the man you had in your sights.
Your roommate Yeosang worked as a bartender at a small yet intimate venue where many up-and-coming bands liked to perform, in hopes of recognition. He invited you to visit one night, knowing you loved to get a peek at new music. You couldn’t refuse the offer, especially when he snuck you a couple of free drink vouchers.
When you had come by the first night, you were surprised at the amount of people hanging both outside and inside the building. The couple of times you had stopped by previously to drop something off, only half of the room was filled. But this time had attendees hugging the wall and the bar counter, shoulder to shoulder.
Once you managed to reach Yeosang, you waited until he wasn’t scurrying with shot glasses to ask if there was a special occasion. He answered mid-pour and said one of the local bands was playing soon and their loyal fans flocked in when they got word. Leaving him to his work, you melded into the crowd, studying what the demographic was.
The ratio of women to men was in favor of the former, making you wonder just what kind of group was performing tonight.
You got your answer when the lights went down and screams erupted around you, nearly rupturing your poor eardrums. But when the lights came back on, you could see why.
Five insanely gorgeous men were spread across the stage, each with an instrument in their hands.
They all had their own aura, represented by their outfits and the expressions on their faces. Although, there was one in particular that caught your attention.
The one holding a shiny black guitar like it was his child.
His platinum blond hair caught your eye before you took in the rest of him. You liked how the sharp angles of his face had areas of softness that could disarm even the coldest of people. His outfit was flattering and a good balance of comfortable yet showy. But his smile was what nearly knocked you off your feet.
The way his white teeth would often flash while he strummed his instrument had a grin coming up on your own face. You could see that he was someone who cherished his craft by the way he’d keep up with the other members’ pace. And he would never stay in one place; you’d often catch him jumping around on the stage, from standing next to the drummer to nearly teetering on the edge in front of fans.
Plus, he was just adorable. But the cuteness would go into its hiding place at times, leaving a man that began altering your brain chemistry.
Too many times did you find your breath hitching whenever he’d throw his head back, mouth agape as he got into the music, fixated on the drops of sweat rolling down his neck. Or whenever he’d lower his head, looking up into the crowd with the wickedest of smirks that had you fantasizing about a certain position that would grant that view as well.
Before your mind could fully catch up on whatever was happening in front of your eyes, cheers erupted around you. You blinked into reality and watched as the band waved and thanked everyone for attending tonight before making their way off the stage. You were jostled into moving when an attendee bumped your shoulder, shooting an apology to your still form.
Desperately needing to decompress, you ran to the bar to catch Yeosang as he finished making a tray of shots. He could tell by the look on your face that he made a good choice in inviting you out before your mouth began running a mile a minute. You didn’t care if he wasn’t able to hear half of your ramblings, running to continue doing his job as a sudden wave of people came by.
Your excitement had to get out of your system somehow.
But it turns out even that wasn’t enough.
You would keep thinking about the handsome guitarist on a day to day basis, at the most inopportune moments. It didn’t help that you would look up the band’s music online and listen during your commutes and free time. They legitimately made good tunes, playing to their strengths and composing lyrics that wouldn’t escape your head.
Lyrics that were joined by the constant flashing of a devious smile.
And so you found yourself returning to the venue for their next show. To say Yeosang was stunned by your surprise appearance was an understatement. You managed to shrug it off and say that you were starting to become a budding fan of Halazia.
It was technically the truth. He didn’t need to know about your other reason…yet.
With this visit, you were hoping you’d catch the blond doing something that would kill your interest or that your eye would wander onto some of his bandmates instead.
You realized by the end of the performance that it was futile.
Not even the drummer going shirtless halfway through to show off his well-muscled physique could completely distract you from the fully clothed one wailing on his guitar. Trudging out of the building with two cocktails down had you realizing how doomed you were.
When your titillating thoughts started forming into full-blown fantasies, you had to come up with a solid way to get them to disappear. At first, you hoped your hand and a few explicit videos would be enough, but even that got old after a while.
Which led to your current objective as you watched the band continue to set up for the night.
It might be a pipe dream, but you wouldn’t know unless you tried, right?
Yeosang thought it was ridiculous, but never said it was impossible or a bad idea. He begrudgingly supported you from the sidelines, even if he called you crazy at times. A true friend, through and through.
“Oh, don’t I know it. You kept hounding me for weeks to help you put your bookshelf up.”
“And you did such a fantastic job! Shit would have fallen apart if I did it myself.”
Yeosang shook his head at your flattery, yet the tiniest of smiles tugged at his mouth. “Uh huh.”
Giggling, you picked up your glass and finished off the last sip. After you set it down, you sensed a person coming up to stand next to you.
“Yeosang!”
The bartender grinned at them. “Yunho! Amazing job, as always.”
“Ah, stop, you say that every time. Do you mind if I put in an order?”
“Not at all. What would you like?”
Curiosity got the best of you and you looked up to see what this Yunho looked like. Imagine your surprise when you saw the bassist of Halazia standing next to you. Damn, he was tall.
“Two rounds of shots and eight beers, please.”
Yeosang lifted his brow in that fashion of his before replying, “Eight? Not ten?”
Yunho sighed and shrugged. “Seonghwa is feeling fussy tonight and San needs to be able to walk home.”
“Makes sense. Alright, give me a few minutes.”
“Thank you!”
Yunho seemed to notice you watching the conversation now, giving you a polite smile before heading back to his table. Your eyes followed him until he sat down, switching targets to take in the blond man with a megawatt smile next to him. Just watching as he threw his head back and laughed had your heart pumping faster.
You couldn’t hold off any longer. You had to do something tonight.
Your mind began coming up with a plan on how to approach while you turned back around, watching as Yeosang began putting together the drinks.
“Damn, big order.”
“Tell me about it. They must be parched after their performance.”
You studied the two trays as he started filling it with shot glasses and beer bottles, knowing that he’d have to make two trips to get everything there.
…or just one trip, if he had an extra set of hands.
You could see the lightbulb start to flicker on now. A simple yet effective plan to get within speaking distance of the man who had been plaguing your thoughts for the last couple of weeks came to fruition. You committed to your decision just as the bartender finished up the order.
Okay. Showtime.
“Hey Yeo—” Your roommate paused as he was reaching for one of the full drink trays. “—need some help there?”
Yeosang blinked owlishly at your offer.
“Oh, uh, I don’t know, Y/N. It wouldn’t be good if you dropped these.”
“Hey now, I used to be a waitress, remember? Come on, it’ll save you some time.”
You watched as he pondered for a moment, grinning in triumph when he nodded.
“Alright, grab one and let’s go.”
A salute was given as you hopped off your stool, carefully reaching for one of the trays and lifting it above your shoulder. Muscle memory took over as you balanced it, waiting until Yeosang came out from behind the counter and led the way. You made sure to not run into anyone and kept an eye out for any sudden surprises, thankful when you reached the table in one piece.
And even more thankful at one of the pairs of eyes that landed on you.
“Our savior!”
The one man you recognized as the lead singer rejoiced as you and Yeosang set the trays down on the table, bringing a giggle out of you.
“Jongho, I didn’t hear water in Yunho’s order…”
Yeosang’s playfully stern tone made Jongho wave a hand in the air. “Water, shmater, we’re big boys! We can hold our drinks!”
“We can, not this one, though.”
The next one that piped up was the unusually beautiful man you saw strumming away at his rhythm guitar, pointing to the pouting drummer who now wore a white tee.
“Hyung, don’t call me out like that!”
“San, we had to carry you out the last time, we’re not looking for a repeat.”
Your focus was now on the object of your desires as he gave San a strict yet concerned look, the expression only making him look even better.
“You won’t, that’s why I passed on the beer!”
The guitarist made an unconvinced sound. “We shall see.”
Yeosang chuckled and interjected, “I’ll bring some water over, just to be safe. Sound good, Hongjoong?”
Now you learned that the man you had been eyeing up was Hongjoong, trying not to stare too hard as he grinned at your friend.
“Definitely.”
He caught you off-guard by shooting you a smile now.
“Better to be safe than sorry.”
Your reaction was delayed, but you managed to give a nod, forcing yourself to follow Yeosang as he headed back to the bar. Only then did you realize you were holding a breath in, exhaling as you leaned on the counter.
“Fuck.”
“I thought you were going to hop on his lap for a moment.”
You shot a scowl at Yeosang as he worked on getting the water together.
“Yeo, I’m not that shameless. I was just…taken aback.”
He looked up to give you an unconvinced stare, paired with a lifted brow.
“Sure, let’s call it that.”
He looked back down in time to miss the middle finger you shot. While he continued, you started reining yourself in from the very brief encounter.
You learned two things; Hongjoong was his name and he was even more handsome up close. Stage lights weren’t over exaggerating his sharp features, his nose and jaw looking like they’d be able to cut glass. His grin was blinding and the teeth beneath them were damn near perfect.
Although, you wished you had mustered enough courage to say something to him.
It would be somewhat awkward to go back empty-handed and start a conversation with him, especially with his bandmates right there. Just because you wanted to get in his pants didn’t mean you wanted to come off as nothing but a groupie to them.
“Here.”
Your thinking was interrupted when two full pitchers of water were placed in front of you, prompting you to look at Yeosang with bewilderment.
“Maybe this time you can actually talk to the guy.”
His suggestion finally clicked, your eyes widening in gratitude.
“I fucking love you, Yeosang.”
He smiled and shook his head, giving one of your hands a pat. “You can tell me through your teriyaki chicken, Y/N. Go on.”
With a megawatt grin and a mental note to pick up some chicken to cook tomorrow, you lifted both pitchers before turning to make your way back to the table. You had to make sure your hands didn’t shake the closer you got, not wanting to spill water on any of the guys.
As soon as you were close enough, you cleared your throat to capture their attention.
“Your water, gentlemen.”
Setting the refreshments down brought a small wave of cheers.
“Thank you! Maybe we can get San out of here in one piece tonight.”
“Aish, stop!” San batted at Jongho’s head, the vocalist dodging as he snickered.
You grinned at the two’s antics, straightening up when you realized something.
“Oh, I should get you guys some glasses. I’ll be right back.”
You quickly turned around and power walked to the bar, asking Yeosang for a small stack of drinking glasses before returning.
“Here you go.”
“Thanks. Are you new here?”
Your head shook at Seonghwa’s question. “No, I don’t even work here. Just helping my friend out while he gets slammed with customers.”
The pretty guitarist smiled softly.
“That’s very nice of you.”
Your cheeks couldn’t help but warm a tiny bit, shooting him the same look. “Thank you. He has to listen to enough of my ranting at home, might as well ease his pain somehow.”
Yunho blinked curiously before asking, “You’re roommates?”
“Mhm.”
He made a sound of understanding, yet another voice cut in before he could say anything.
“Thought you looked familiar.”
You focused your sight on Hongjoong, recognition on his attractive face that had your heart beating a little faster.
“Me?”
“Yeah—” His mouth quirked. “—thought I saw you hanging around Yeosang the last few times we were here.”
Oof. You weren’t sure how to react to him basically saying that he recognized you from afar. It wasn’t a bad thing, at all, considering your end goal, but you were surprised he even remembered with the amount of people in this building.
All you could muster was a scratch of the back of your neck, trying not to fluster further under his gaze.
“Haha, that’s me, always bugging him.”
Hongjoong gave a soft laugh, eyes scrunching in humor. It only made you more bashful, trying your best not to rub the toe of your boot into the ground.
Noticing that Yunho was roped into a conversation with the others now, it left you alone with the lead guitarist.
A window of opportunity!
But for some reason, you couldn’t muster the words to continue speaking with him. Even though he continued to acknowledge you with his gaze, your eyes averted to watch the stage behind the dining tables.
“Hey.”
Your ears perked up, looking down to see Hongjoong eyeing you with curiosity.
“What’s your name?”
A lifesaver.
You had to hold back the large grin you wanted to give, settling for a polite smile instead.
“Y/N.”
He returned your expression, nodding before replying, “Nice to meet you, I’m Hongjoong. Actually, you probably already knew that.”
With a little more confidence, you replied, “I actually didn’t. I’m pretty bad with names, plus I was too distracted by your performances to really focus on that.”
Hongjoong lifted a bleached brow, cocking his head.
“Oh yeah? You like us that much?”
You nodded with little shame. “Absolutely. I’m surprised you guys aren’t a household name by now.”
Hongjoong grinned, although it was paired with a slight flush of his cheeks.
“Stop, we’re not that good.”
“But you are! Look, I’ve been seeing local bands since I was a teen and I can say you guys are one of the best.”
Something a bit sobering slithered in his eyes as he stared you down, lips straight as a line.
“No bullshit?”
Now you managed to keep the gaze steady.
“None whatsoever.”
It was another few seconds before he finally took your compliment, appreciation written all over his face now.
“Thank you, Y/N. We really appreciate it.”
“Of course! I wish I knew about your music earlier—” You frowned. “—I’ve only seen you guys play a couple of times.”
Hongjoong shrugged, saying with more positivity, “A couple is better than none.”
You could see he had a point so you nodded in agreement. But all of a sudden, you wondered if you were bothering him. He had just finished a harrowing performance; maybe he wanted to kick back and relax with his friends, not indulge you with conversation.
“Hongjoong?”
“Hm?”
This hurt to say, but—
“If you want me to give you some space, I can.”
The musician gave you a look that came off as bewildered. “I don’t mind. Unless you have somewhere to get to?”
A hand came up to wave in the air as you placated, “No, I don’t, but I’d hate to impose—”
“Looooving youuu~ Is easy ‘cause you’re beautiful~”
Out of nowhere, singing erupted, prompting both you and Hongjoong to look at the source of the sudden noise. What greeted you had you chuckling.
“Seems like the drinks are already starting to set in.”
The blond’s wisecrack had you raising a brow as you both took in Jongho holding San’s face as he crooned a love song to him and Yunho waving his hands to the beat while Seonghwa pulled his phone out to record the tender moment.
“I can see that.”
Hongjoong scoffed in amusement and shook his head.
“Every time.” He glanced aside for a moment before looking at you again. “Maybe we should move somewhere quieter.”
The suggestion made your heart skip, unaware of what the intentions were behind it.
“Oh?”
“Yeah—” His sudden beam erased any doubt you had. “—I can’t get to know you with all this noise here.”
You uttered a silent thanks to both Yeosang and whatever being resided in the sky for giving you this opportunity. You held back a bit as you grinned and said, “Lead the way.”
Hongjoong was quick to stand up, grabbing his two beer bottles before jerking his head towards the stage. With a quick glance to make sure his friends were still occupied, you began following him. He walked to the foot of the stage and sat his drinks down, using his hands to lift himself and sit on the ledge. You followed suit, taking care to make sure your skirt didn’t ride up, sitting as close as possible without getting in his personal space.
As soon as you were situated, a bottle turned up under your nose.
“Thirsty?”
You blinked at the offer. “You sure? It’s your beer.”
The blond shrugged, wiggling the brown glass a bit.
“My beer, but I’ll make it yours now.”
A chuckle came out as you accepted the drink, peeling off the half-open cap before taking a sip.
“Thanks.”
“No problem. So—” Hongjoong took a sip from his own bottle. “—are you a regular here?”
You shook your head.
“Surprisingly, no. I’ve been to almost every venue in town except for this one. Figured I’d give Yeo a rest from seeing me at home and work.”
Hongjoong snickered, lips curled in humor.
“Understandable. I’m guessing we were your first show here?”
“You were. Have you guys been playing here for a while?”
He hummed, looking up in thought before responding, “Kind of. This was our seventh performance here, but we’ve been playing at other places too. I’d have to say this is the best looking one, by far.”
“Let me guess—” Your mouth twisted up on one side. “—you’ve performed at Miroh?”
The way Hongjoong grimaced was enough of an answer for you.
“Sadly. Never again. Yunho almost got a bottle to the head because his amp was a little too loud.”
“Yikes.”
The two of you decided to move away from the topic of horrendous dive bars and to lighter ones, from behind the scenes knowledge about Halazia to what you did outside of going to concerts. You liked that Hongjoong had an equal part in the conversation continuing, not wanting to come off as desperate and scrambling for something else to talk about.
Not that you couldn’t find anything.
He was rather easy to talk to, paying close attention whenever you spoke and answering your questions with thoroughness. The way he would motion with his hands at certain points endeared him to you, smiling and giggling with admiration at his theatrics. It was also fun just to watch him, in general.
“So how do you like living with Yeosang?”
The subject change surprised you a bit, but you answered after finishing off your beer. “No complaints on my end. Well, except that he can be a space cadet at times.”
Hongjoong snickered over the lip of his bottle.
“Not surprised he’s still like that.”
Your ears perked at his statement, giving him a curious stare.
“Still?”
“Mhm. We used to live together, at one point.”
If you were in the middle of drinking, you would have had to hold back from choking or spitting in shock.
“Really?!”
Hongjoong nodded, lips stretched at your stunned reaction.
“He mentioned having a roommate before me, but I never would have dreamed that it’d be you.”
The musician shrugged and replied, “To be fair, I wasn’t around much. Spent most of my time at the studio or at work. I only moved out when Seonghwa got a spot open at his place.”
Following along with his explanation, you decided to be mischievous and question, “Was it that or did you drive poor Yeo crazy?”
Hongjoong feigned offense, a twinkle in his widened eyes as he leaned back.
“Y/N, are you accusing me of being a bad roommate?”
You couldn’t hold the urge to lightly tap your foot against his, smirking with impishness.
“And what if I am?”
Lifting a bleached brow, the guitarist leaned towards you, making your heart beat quicker with how close he got. Close enough for him to whisper, “Then I’d have to defend myself against that.”
Your eyes remained locked with his, jerking your chin lightly before challenging, “Go on, then.”
Hongjoong seemed pleased with your encouragement, setting his now empty bottle to the side as the gleam in his eye shone brighter.
“I was well-behaved. Kept the place clean, rotated chores, minded my own business. Yeosang almost didn’t want me to leave.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah—” He chuckled. “—gave me the biggest pout when I gave him the heads up. Made me feel like an asshole.”
Your eyes rolled with no hint of annoyance. “Sounds like Yeo. But I guess you really helped take care of the guy, huh?”
“I sure did.”
Hongjoong lightly knocked his knee into yours, but it remained pressed as he purred, “I like to take care of people close to me.”
Whatever wholesomeness that statement would have had was erased by his actions. You welcomed the touch, though. It merely boosted your confidence and will to step closer to your long-awaited goal.
You did your best not to overthink as you gently rubbed the side of your foot on his calf, lips twitching at the subtle shift in his expression.
“What about the people close to Yeosang? Would you take care of them too?”
Hongjoong’s eyebrow ticked at your question.
“Of course.”
Play coy, Y/N.
“It would be nice if I was included too…”
After you trailed off, nothing was said. Only sounds from the rest of the bar came through, various conversations mixing with background music from the speakers. But you weren’t too focused on that right now.
No, you were hyper-focused on the way Hongjoong was watching you.
The way his eyes traveled down your face and over your form let you know that digging in your closet for this outfit was worth it. Everything only became sweeter with what he said next.
“Taking care of you would be a pleasure.”
The heat underneath his words took your interaction to the next level, bringing a light feeling to the base of your gut. Thinking about what ‘taking care of you’ would entail erased the last bit of caution you had.
“Then maybe you can help me with a problem I’ve been having.”
“Shoot.”
You laid one of your hands on his jean-covered thigh, faintly feeling the muscle underneath twitch.
“Ever since I started watching you guys perform, I’ve been wondering something.”
Hongjoong jerked his chin forward, prompting you to continue. Not wanting to take a chance at someone walking up and overhearing at the last minute, you leaned in closer, almost brushing your lips against his ear to breath out, “I keep thinking about what it would feel like to fuck you. Something about you caught my eye from the jump and I haven’t been able to shake the idea. But there’s only one way I can figure it out.”
Your head pulled back enough to get a clear view of Hongjoong’s now intrigued face, shooting the sugariest of smiles at him.
“Will you help me solve my problem?”
Even though it was becoming clear that the blond shared a mutual attraction, a part of you couldn’t help but prepare for rejection. But your fear was allayed when he presented you with a low chuckle, followed by a smirk that was rife with teeth.
“Of course, Y/N. Although—” Now he came close to whisper in your ear. “—I don’t think we’re gonna find out by sitting near all these people.”
The underlying sensuality in his voice brought a pleasant shiver down your spine. Were you actually about to sneak off with Halazia’s main guitarist to help satiate the improper fantasies you’ve been having about him?
Yes. Yes you fucking were.
“Then do you mind if we have some one on one time?”
The hand that reached for your own to take it into a firm grip let you know that you hit the jackpot.
“Not at all.”
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You were sure the rest of the guys eventually noticed and picked up on what you two snuck off for, but you couldn’t care less about what they thought. Your wish was finally coming true.
Hongjoong led the way, clearly more familiar with backstage than you were. The two of you passed a handful of workers, the man in front of you giving them polite greetings and acknowledgments. It was nice to see that he wasn’t one of those snobby types of rockstars.
He stopped in front of a door with a sign that said ‘Reserved for Halazia’, going for the handle before turning it and pushing. His hand let go of yours, only to motion you in first with a smile. You gave one of your own and stepped into the room, looking around with curiosity. It was a typical dressing room, nothing too chaotic.
But the best part was that it was empty, perfect for what was about to go down.
“So…”
You turned around, hearing the door shut and lock before Hongjoong approached you, lips curled akin to someone ready to indulge in the sweetest dessert of their life.
“Is this a much better spot?”
Your mouth twisted in humor, nodding as you replied with delight, “Much better.”
“Good.”
The both of you looked into each other’s eyes, bodies thrumming with energy that was ready to be unleashed at any moment. Although, no one made a move for a moment.
That is, until Hongjoong chose to take a step forward, leaving the tiniest of spaces between you two.
Having him so close directly in front of you had even more of an effect than before, his fresh scent invading your nostrils while your heart pumped faster. It got worse when a hand came up to brush some hair behind your ear, his touch making you bite your lip.
Hongjoong noticed your shift and chuckled, “Nervous?”
You shook your head.
“No, just…excited.”
His grin only widened at your admission, sliding his hand down to gently cradle your jaw.
“Same. Didn’t think I’d ever get to be up close and personal with Yeosang’s pretty friend.”
Although you were melting inside at the compliment, your eyebrow raised in amazement.
“Really?”
“Mhm.”
“So why didn’t you make a move first?”
You hoped to trip him up, but the guitarist didn’t seem fazed, straight teeth almost blinding you.
“I wanted to see how badly you wanted me.”
His low response brought a mixture of exasperation and lust to you, your eyes rolling as you huffed, “You rockstars and your egos.”
Hongjoong laughed at your quip before leaning in to plant his lips on yours, ironically making the first move into what was expected to go down in here. Not a second passed before you kissed back, upping the pace a bit. The two of you got lost in each other until he started walking forward, forcing you to step back to avoid having your toes crushed.
He managed to distract you with his skills as you suddenly felt something hard press against your spine. One of your hands went back to feel a smooth surface behind you, realizing that he had walked you towards one of the vanity tables.
A nip to your bottom lip made you focus on the bigger picture once more, answering back with a bite of your own. The groan that rumbled against you was nothing short of satisfying.
Hongjoong pulled apart to pant softly, “Nice to see you’re not shy.”
You brought a hand to the nape of his neck, absentmindedly playing with the short, blond strands as you queried, “You think I’d be back here with you if I was shy?”
He conceded with an amused ‘no’, allowing you to pull him back in for another kiss. The longer this went on, the warmer you were beginning to get. You skipped on a jacket tonight, leaving you with a thinner, long-sleeved shirt on top, but the leather skirt below seemed to be the cause of your rising temperature.
Time for it to go.
You released Hongjoong’s neck and reached back to unzip your skirt, only to feel his hands take a hold of yours. Lips pulled away to give him a confused stare.
“Uh uh—“ He released you before grabbing onto the hem and pushing it up with a smirk. “—the skirt stays on.”
Well then. Whatever he wants, he gets.
You nodded, bringing your hands away from the garment as further approval. He pecked your lips in gratitude and went for the top of your stockings next, shimmying them down until your boots interrupted the journey. Humming at the inconvenience, he unzipped before sliding them off your feet and tossing them to the side. You didn’t even get a chance to wiggle your toes as he continued relieving you of your tights, letting them join your shoes.
The slightly cool air hit your now exposed legs, but the heat Hongjoong directed up at you next erased it.
“Sit on the table.”
A shiver ran down your spine at his command, bringing your hands behind to hoist yourself onto the vanity. The guitarist was quick to stand and slot himself between your spread legs, taking your mouth in another hungry kiss. Even though he was doing an excellent job occupying you with his tongue, you could feel his fingers run down your hips until he brushed the soft skin of your thighs. You enjoyed the sensations, lulling into a pleasant vibe until he traveled inwards and stroked a finger along the front of your panties.
You felt him hum before he released your lips, giving you one of his sharp smirks.
“I hope you haven’t been like this all night.”
A giggle left as you bucked your hips forward. “I plead the fifth.”
Hongjoong chuckled and pressed his forehead to yours.
“Poor baby. Lemme fix that for you.”
With lightning precision, his fingers dove up to grasp the elastic, tugging the damp fabric down until it was pulled off and tossed to join its friends. The air hitting that area only exacerbated just how wet you were, thanks to the man in front of you. Although, he was swift in covering you with his hand, digits beginning to tease with confidence.
“Oh…”
The soft exclamation left when you felt him travel upwards and circle your swelling clit. He applied just the right amount of pressure to make a pleasant heat begin to form in your belly. Just when you were about to close your eyes in bliss, Hongjoong slid back down to play with your folds, the slickness allowing him to glide with ease.
“You’re so fucking wet, baby. All this for me?”
Your reply meant to come out as words, but the way he spread you open made it turn into a positive hum. He chuckled at you, bringing his free hand up to rest a thumb on your swollen lips.
“You like how I’m playing with this little pussy of yours?”
“Yes—”
Hongjoong began stroking his thumb over your mouth, choosing to match the rhythm with the one between your legs, making your eyelids flutter.
“Is this what you thought about every time you watched me play?”
You breathed out, “I don’t know if I should say yes. Your rockstar ego might over-inflate.”
Hongjoong laughed, little offense in his tone. “I wouldn’t mind the push.”
You played as if you were mulling over a decision, trying not to crack the facade at the mild pout on his lips. Just when he was about to ask, you directed a smirk at him.
“This is tame compared to what’s been running through my head.”
Now you captured his entire attention, eyes burning with curiosity.
“Oh yeah? Indulge me.”
This time, you didn’t want to hold back, nonchalance coloring your face as you looked dead into his eyes.
“I’ve thought about how your fingers would feel inside me.”
The image of his digits flying across the fret of his guitar only emphasized your current pleasure, spurring you on.
“Wondered if they’d play me as well as you play your guitar.”
A low hum came from Hongjoong at your words, dark eyes twinkling with sensuality.
“I think I’m answering your question right now, no?”
A sudden strum to your quivering bud followed, making your hips jerk.
“You are—“ It took a second to find your breath. “—but I still have a couple more.”
“Oh?”
It was a struggle to speak past the moans building in your throat as he continued, but you powered through.
“Thought your head would look nice between my legs.”
You wouldn’t call yourself timid at all, but even this was a new level for you. To be so blunt with someone who you had only known for a short time was crazy. But the spark lighting up on Hongjoong’s face took away whatever shock you had at yourself.
“Is that so?”
Your nod brought the most salacious smirk from him. He moved his hands away from your body, disappointment at not having his touch anymore hitting you. But he was quick to bring up your spirits, placing them on your knees before spreading them further. He then dropped down to the floor, gaze still steady as he raised a brow.
“Like this?”
Your pulse spiked at the sight. It was a nice start, but it wasn’t quite there yet.
“Come closer.”
Hongjoong obliged, cheeks nearly brushing your inner thighs now.
“How about now?”
Much better.
“Perfect.”
The guitarist chuckled, blinding you with his smile.
“Good. Now you can sleep at night.”
A mix of a scoff and a giggle escaped, leaning down to give his forehead a gentle poke.
“Thank you for your services.”
“Any time, baby. Although…”
His voice trailed off as his eyes lowered, looking directly at your exposed cunt. “While I’m already down here—”
You had little chance to prepare as he darted forward and ran his tongue over the entirety of you, ripping a hitched gasp from your throat.
Shit.
Clearly the one lick wasn’t enough for Hongjoong, going back in with a few more that had your head tipping back against the mirror. Soft pants left you, morphing into stronger moans when he directed attention onto your clit. You could feel vibrations from him at times, feeling pleased to know that he was enjoying this as well.
“Fuck, Hongjoong—”
He pulled off, lips glistening as he husked, “You taste fucking amazing, baby. Gonna make sure I get my fill tonight.”
Your lower body bucked at his words, shifting forward until your ass nearly went over the edge of the table. The blond shot you a grateful look for giving him more access, hands sliding up your trembling thighs to take a firm hold of your hips before continuing his actions.
You were trying your best to keep your eyes on him the entire time, but he was too damn good.
Certain moves would make you throw your head back, whining as Hongjoong worked you up with his mouth. You got frustrated at one point when your skirt partially obscured his handsome face. A grunt left your lips before you reached down and tugged the offending fabric up even higher, giving you a clearer view of him eating your pussy.
Watching him had you transfixed, seeing his eyes closed for a good moment as he indulged in you. Though they would open up soon, focusing on you with a heat and precision that you’d only see a fraction of while he was on stage. You weren’t uncomfortable with the stare at all.
It turned you on beyond all belief.
Your fingers tangled into his short, blond strands, feeling the slight perspiration on his scalp. Whether it was leftover from the show or because of the current situation, you didn’t know. You gave the lightest of pulls, subtly asking for more.
Hongjoong raised a brow before moving his mouth away, just a few centimeters. He then went and stuck his tongue out, running the flat of it from the bottom of your slit up until he reached your clit, giving it a harsh flick.
“Oh fuck—“
A short chuckle washed over your area before he did the move again. And again. And again.
“You’re gonna kill me, swear to God.”
The musician giggled at your claim, eyes and nose scrunching with humor.
“You’ll live. But in case you don’t—“ You felt something prodding your entrance, looking down to see one of his fingers there. “—I need to see how good this pussy feels first.”
Hongjoong began sliding it in, your grip on your skirt tightening as he stretched you out a bit. He was quick to start thrusting, pausing at one point to curl and search for that sweet spot inside. When you felt him brush against it, you squeezed around his finger, bringing a triumphant smirk to his face.
“Right there, baby?”
“Right there—!”
He paired his cooing with a solid pump into the area, ruining whatever composure you had. There was no mercy as he kept on with the movements, making you squirm on his digit as a ball of pleasure started to form in your gut. Unable to take anymore of his teasing, you pulled his head closer again before pleading, “Keep eating my pussy, please.”
Hongjoong had no qualms about your begging, groaning lowly before diving back in.
The dual sensations of his mouth and finger working together pushed you higher and higher towards a precipice. Your own lips were babbling praises and noises to let him know how fucking good he was at this. He never pulled off to banter like before, laser-focused on your pleasure. All you received were his sharp brown eyes, watching you like a hawk.
Just when you felt yourself getting close, you tugged at Hongjoong’s hair. He pulled off, albeit reluctantly, shooting you a questioning stare. You gave a wobbly grin, bringing him back in until his wet lips were level with your pulsating nub.
“I come easier this way.”
Thankful for your advice, the guitarist winked before giving his undivided attention there. As you expected, your high raced towards you in no time, showing itself as you cried out and clamped down on his still thrusting finger. Your entire body trembled while he continued to roll his tongue over you, hand letting go of his hair at some point so as to not pull any strands out by accident.
Finally, the tremors stopped, making you slump against the mirror like a limp noodle. Your eyes couldn’t help but shut, feeling more tired than content thanks to the good orgasm.
A good orgasm at the hands (and mouth) of Hongjoong.
“You still alive up there?”
The teasing made your eyes open, shooting a deadpan expression down at his beaming face.
“Nope. Died and went to heaven. Murderer.”
Hongjoong cackled at your quip, standing up to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. “I’ll send my condolences to Yeosang.”
Now you laughed, reaching for the lapels of his star-printed jacket to tug him in for a deep kiss. Your tongue was quick in meeting up with his, tasting the lingering of your arousal. The longer your lips were locked, the faster your desire returned, wanting to take this even further. You needed to see how his cock would feel inside you, fucking you until your eyes rolled into the back of your head.
Hongjoong removed his lips to catch his breath, hot puffs of air washing over your swollen ones before he husked, “Satisfied?”
You knew your answer right away.
“Would you be mad if I said no?”
The guitarist’s head shook. “I was hoping you would say that—” He took the chance to come closer, pressing his concealed cock into your bare thigh. “—didn’t want to let you out of here just yet.”
Your mouth twisted into a delighted smirk, pleased at the mutual feeling.
“Good, because I also thought about how it would feel if you fucked me.”
Now that you threw your final thought out into the open, the goalpost looked clearer than ever. Especially when Hongjoong presented you with the slyest grin you had ever seen on him. The ones he would give on stage paled in comparison to this.
“Is that right?”
When you nodded, his hand came up to hold your chin. A thumb tapped against it as he purred, “The feeling’s mutual.”
A peck landed on your lips before Hongjoong stepped away to head to the opposite side of the room where a few duffel bags laid. He began rummaging in one of them, standing once he found whatever he was looking for. That something was revealed to be a condom when he turned around. You were glad he wasn’t averse to protection; as horny as you were for him, your safety came first.
But just as he was about to make his way back, a few knocks came from the door.
Your expressions matched with irritation as you both frowned at the interruption. Hongjoong gave you an apologetic look before calling out, “Yes?”
“Hyung, it’s me!”
Because you were further from the muffled voice, you couldn’t decipher who was there until the guitarist swore quietly.
“Jongho, I’m in the middle of something right now.”
“I know, but I really need something from inside! Can you just grab it for me, please?”
Hongjoong pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes closed as he seemed to debate on telling his bandmate to either leave or give him a moment. He went with the latter as he stomped over to the door, unlocking and opening it enough to poke his head out and avoid Jongho witnessing you in your partially-undressed state.
“What do you need?”
“Hyung, I need some condoms.”
“Why didn’t you pick them up when we were in here earlier?”
You could picture the vocalist shrugging, wide eyes adding to his defensive expression.
“I didn’t think I needed them! But Lia sent me a message a few minutes ago and she lives right down the road, so…”
You heard Hongjoong sigh before telling him to wait one second. He shut the door, turning and mouthing an ‘I’m sorry’, to which you waved him off with little bother. A momentary interruption was better than losing your entire chance.
He ran back to his bag to grab a handful of the foil packets before jogging back to the door, opening it and stretching his arm out.
“Here. Now can you promise you or the others won’t bother me until I come back?”
“Of course, captain! Have fun!”
Hongjoong shook his head at his bandmate’s well wishes, but saw him off with a chuckle and a humored goodbye before shutting and locking the door once more. With a swiftness, he turned and ran back over to you, a sheepish grin on his face.
“Sorry about that.”
“No worries.”
Hongjoong looked grateful for your nonchalance, setting the condom down next to you before shucking his jacket off and tossing it to the side. Your eyes couldn’t hold back from raking over the skin now exposed, toned arms and shoulders causing your mouth to water. Just as you peeped the ink scrawled on one of his inner biceps, he started undoing his pants, bringing your attention to something even more interesting as he lowered them.
He caught your stare, smirking at how little modesty you had before reaching for the foiled wrapper. His hands were steady yet swift as he opened and slid the protection onto his stiff dick. As soon as he finished, Hongjoong grabbed your hips, tugging you down just enough to rest his tip against the apex of your thigh.
“Ready for me, beautiful?”
With little apprehension, you reached between your bodies to take a hold of him, lining up with your weeping entrance before giving him a confident nod. As soon as he earned your approval, the musician shifted forward, parting your folds until he started spreading you open. Both of your breaths hitched at the sensation, feeling his ringed fingers dig further into your hips.
“You’re just swallowing me up—“
Hongjoong’s gritted growl made your walls pulsate around his cock for a moment, proving his observation correct. Once he got in as far as you were pleased with, you took a hold of his waist before husking, “Fuck me already.”
A sharp inhale was all you got as you felt him slightly pull out before entering at a quicker pace. The rhythm built up soon enough, giving you the friction you oh so desired.
You were finally getting your wish.
Hongjoong was no slouch in this department, delivering strokes that were the right balance between gratifying and not quite enough. Perfect to have you whining for more a few minutes in.
“Hongjoong, give it to me—”
“Mm? Want me to fuck you harder, baby?”
The hold you had on his shirt tightened.
“Please.”
The chuckle you received had a thrill running down your spine, only to be replaced with a sharper sting as soon as he started plunging into you harder.
“So generous, letting me fuck this pussy how I really want to—”
Between the elevated pleasure and the way he hissed out his words, you were living the dream. You tried to fire back with your own quips, but couldn’t keep up with the way the blond was doing you and staring you down with those dark eyes of his. All you could do to let him know how good you were feeling was to tug him into messy kisses and rubs of your hands along his clothed torso. It seemed to be enough for him, judging by the groans you’d hear or feel.
At one point, Hongjoong pulled away from your lips, his own bearing hints of your smudged lipstick. Your fixation on his appearance was interrupted when he boldly stated, “Wish I could’ve been more thorough about this.”
Your head tilted as you asked, “What do you mean?”
His mouth twisted as if you made a joke, pausing his hips to make sure you focused on what he was about to say.
“I mean, I would’ve liked to do this somewhere a little more private. Because it’s a shame I can’t see all of you right now.”
His admission made your pussy flutter around him, watching as he looked over your still-covered body with heavy and curious eyes.
“Wouldn’t mind having more time to see what else is running through this pretty head of yours.”
He wanted to know what else you would have done with him, huh? There was one little act that you both skipped over, for time’s sake.
“Actually…there’s one thing I forgot to mention.”
Hongjoong’s brow lifted as you took a hold of one of the hands on your body and brought it close to your swollen lips. Making sure to keep eye contact, you rested his index and middle finger on your bottom lip before purring, “I’ve thought about how nice it’d be to suck your dick.”
Before you could get a reaction, you slipped his digits into your mouth, starting to gently suck them as if you were actually carrying out your wish.
The variety of emotions that came over Hongjoong’s face only upped your confidence, bobbing your head carefully to really sell the act. Only then did he finally say something, husking, “Fuck, baby— I’m really missing out right now, huh?”
A wink was what you gave, followed by your tongue beginning to swirl around the appendages, eyes fluttering shut as you pictured a different scenario.
Hongjoong leaning against this very vanity table, pants and briefs pulled halfway down. Watching close as you sat on your knees and worked his cock over with your mouth. You could feel his hips tremble occasionally, surely holding back from the primal urge to fuck into your hot and wet cavern.
But just as you were getting deep into your fantasy, the fingers slipped out of your mouth. Your eyes flew open as you made a mild noise of surprise, only for them to widen at the hungry look on his sweat-beaded face. The same hand was quick to grab your jaw, Hongjoong leaning in so close that you could feel his harsh breath mingling with yours as he hissed, “Next time.”
He didn’t give you a second to process his foreboding words as he took your lips into a starving kiss.
When he finally pulled away, his forehead laid on yours as his hips went up to a reckless pace, burying his cock so deep that your back arched at the sharp jolt of pleasure racing throughout your body. This gave him the opportunity to attack your exposed neck with bites and kisses, pausing at times to growl sheer filth into your ear.
Everything combined had your body giving in to Hongjoong completely, leaning back against the mirror as all sorts of sounds surrounded you.
The slight creaking of the vanity and the jostling of the bottles sitting on it.
The smacking of his damp skin against yours.
How the groans leaving him gradually became tinged with a hint of whining as time passed.
Deducing that he was getting close to his end, you took his hand and slid it between your hips to give him a hint that you needed some help. He was quick on the draw, pushing your hand up as he began circling and rubbing your swollen clit with a saliva-covered fingertip. This only made a long moan escape you, head throwing back as it didn’t take long to catch up with your partner.
“That’s it, baby— Gonna make this little pussy come all over my cock.”
Hongjoong’s thick declaration made your legs wrap tight around his waist and your hands grasp onto the damp skin of his bare shoulders, holding on as he continued transporting you towards your end. You could feel his thrusts become a bit off-centered, but they were still enough for you to enjoy, and more than enough to bring another orgasm.
You announced it through a strained cry of the guitarist’s name, digging your nails into him as you trembled between his tense body and the mirror. It only took a few strokes for Hongjoong to join, swearing through gritted teeth as he plunged into you as far as humanly possible, throbbing as he filled up the condom.
Once the euphoria stopped running through your veins, the urge to slump backwards came strong. You followed your body’s wish, letting out a sigh of fatigue and satisfaction. A soft chuckle sounded near your ear.
“Tell me about it.”
The tiniest of laughs escaped you before taking a moment to simply enjoy the peace in the room. After the two of you got your bearings, it was inevitable that you’d part ways and head home with your respective parties.
But for now, you’d enjoy the way Hongjoong silently hummed into the crook of your neck as you ran your fingers up and down his back.
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Yeosang was polishing the last of the clean glasses and talking to San when you strolled up to the bar, a pep in your step.
“Hey guys!”
Your roommate looked up, scrutinizing your appearance with a knowing smirk.
“Well, look who finally returned.”
You waved him off, only to now hear San teasing, “I hope you didn’t wear him out too much.”
A light laugh came out as you grinned at the drummer.
“He’s still standing on two legs, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Good, the guys and I decided that none of us should be carried out tonight.”
The two of you giggled before he stood up from his stool, stretching muscled arms into the air.
“I think we should start heading out as soon as hyung is put together, I’m sure the two of you are tired.”
Yeosang shrugged, although you could see the slight lidding of his eyes.
“Take your time, I still have to do an inventory count.”
San shook his head. “No no, you definitely need your rest, it’s been nonstop for you. I’ll go gather everyone.”
You were grateful for his insistence, knowing how stubborn Yeosang could get when it came to his job.
“Thank you, San.”
A soft smile was directed at you before the drummer went off to get all of his bandmates together. Now that the two of you were alone, you spun around and gave your friend a winning grin.
“Mission accomplished, Yeo. And it was so worth it.”
Yeosang flicked a brow up at your declaration while grabbing his tablet to take inventory.
“Please don’t give me details. I still have to work with the guy on a weekly basis.”
“I’m not, I’m not! Just letting you know that I got my wish and now you won’t have to hear your horny freak of a roommate lament on how badly she wants Hongjoong’s dick.”
He shot you an exasperated look, clearly not as enthused about the news as you figured he’d be.
“Excellent.”
Snickering, you gave it a rest, leaving him to his work so the two of you could go home ASAP. You turned to take in the venue, noting the janitor sweeping up the last bit of trash and the busboys wiping down the tables that were sticky with alcohol. A few minutes passed before you spotted Halazia, minus Jongho, emerging from backstage. The men wore varying expressions, but all seemed to have a hint of exhaustion as well.
Although, most of your attention was on one specific member.
Hongjoong looked to be the most energetic of the group, eyes alert and responses swift. You weren’t surprised, considering what the two of you went through recently. It might be a different story when he reached home, though.
After nodding at whatever Seonghwa said, his head turned, blinking as he caught you watching him. A blinding grin was quick to come on before he made a beeline your way, making your pulse quicken. But he stopped next to your sitting figure rather than stand in front of you, his gaze on Yeosang as he typed.
“Yeosang, we’re gonna head out now.”
The bartender looked up, only to refocus on his tablet after giving the other a nod. “Stay safe. Great job, as always.”
Hongjoong chuckled, scratching the back of his neck in slight bashfulness.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you saying that, man.”
“Well, you better. Before you guys get snatched up by some big record label and I’ll need to go through security to speak to you.”
You giggled at his quip, receiving Hongjoong’s eyes now. “He has a point. We might be demoted to fans at this rate.”
The blond’s mouth twisted into a smirk as he continued to look at you, saying, “Oh, I could never forget you guys.”
Thank goodness Yeosang wasn’t paying attention to the way you were being stared down by the man who had his hands all over you not long ago; he definitely would not have let you live it down.
“Yeah, we’ll see about that. Have a good night, Hongjoong, tell the others for me.”
“Will do, Yeosang.”
Hongjoong slipped his hand out of his jacket pocket before holding it towards you.
“Y/N.”
You blinked at the formal gesture from someone who was up in your guts, but brought your own hand up to allow his to take a firm grasp.
“A real pleasure meeting you. Well, officially, I mean.”
A short laugh left as you teased, “Likewise, Hongjoong. I guess we’ll see each other at your next show?”
He kept a hold of your palm as he flashed his perfect teeth and winked.
“Absolutely.”
You almost didn’t want to let go, but you allowed the musician to pull away. But then you felt something odd. Looking at your palm, you spotted a piece of paper, folded over and over until it was a tiny square. Thinking that Hongjoong left something by accident, you prepared to call out until he brought a finger up to his lips.
The motion quieted you when he glanced sideways at Yeosang before looking at the paper and then at your face. With that, he turned and headed towards his bandmates to exit the establishment, leaving you to stare down at your hand.
Whatever he left was meant for your eyes and your eyes only.
Curiosity took over as you carefully unfolded the note. You had to bite back a gasp at what was scrawled inside.
‘So we don’t have to wait for the next show to meet up’
xxx-xxxx
Fuck!
You almost slipped and swore out loud, but managed to hold it in. Peeking at your friend to make sure he was still occupied, you stared at Hongjoong’s neat writing, processing this new info.
He actually gave you his number! Was this how groupies felt? Or were you a step above them?
Either way, this was an unexpected development. It was luck that you were able to get close enough to Hongjoong to sleep with him, but to get this as well felt like a miracle.
“Hey.”
You swiftly brought the paper down to your lap as you peered up to see Yeosang, hands now free from the tablet.
“Are you ready to go?”
With a smile that might have been a little too enthusiastic, you nodded, slipping the note into your pocket.
“Absolutely.”
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©bangtanintotheroom, 2024. Crossposted to AO3. Do not repost to other sites or copy without permission.
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genderkoolaid · 3 months
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I hate how sometimes as a transmasc guy I feel like I'm betraying the cause kind of. Like I end up feeling awkward about stuff that's supposed to be great for women because it's not for me anymore.
Most recent time came when I stumbled upon some reddit drama over women only parking spaces which are in better lit areas close to the exit. I don't want to side with the "I guess I'll identify as a woman for ten minutes while I park" types but sometimes I feel like I'm forced to shove myself back into the woman box if I want that safety.
Also the many "girls in STEM" opportunities. Like it's good that they're there, but I hate having to either feel really uncomfortable but still get the opportunity or try and navigate that world how a man would while I still look and sound like a cis woman.
Also this one orchestra I'm in, where a while ago we were trying to pick a composer to commission, and the director noted that he decided not to put any white male composers on the recommended shortlist. Again, I get where he's coming from, but then I worry that once I transition I'll be just another white male. Maybe that would net me some opportunities if I pass well, but it hurts a bit knowing that in some people's eyes I'll fade into the boring grey amalgamation of suits and ties oppressing everyone else.
I think this is a pretty common experience.
This is what happens when feminism fails trans men & other gender-oppressed people who are not women. Cisfeminism in general forces trans people to fight over who gets to count as a woman & therefore be deserving of feminist support, because the feminist framework being used was never made for us. The fact that trans people who aren't women- or aren't exclusively women, or are read as cis men- are vulnerable and under-represented goes ignored & we struggle to have our voices heard.
Its also part of the harmful ways trans men are expected to act in order to have our identities respected. We are expected to pass, go stealth (or at least not bring up being trans "too much"), and never talk about how our experiences differ from those of cis men. Nonbinary & genderqueer transmascs are expected to either dissociate themselves from men or never talk about being NB/GQ. We are told we are othering ourselves when we point out that groups in which cis men are heavily represented have never featured trans men to any remotely similar extent. It sucks and its part of "affirming" transmasc erasure: instead of being erased through misgendering, we are erased by having our transness ignored so no one actually has to confront societal & individual bigotry against trans-men.
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kamotecue · 3 months
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imagine a KCC fic where they are trying to hide their relationship from the media but the fans are catching them doing everything (like walks together, going on holidays Mcfoord type shit) and they’re just debating wether to co form it or tease the fans
secret's out ✮ k. cooney-cross
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pairing: kyra cooney-cross x fem!reader
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a soft hum escaped your lips as the australian wrapped her arms around your waist, pulling you closer to her as she softly chuckled against your skin. she leaned against you, hiding her head in the crook of your neck as you softly smiled at her actions. it wasn't easy being a long distance couple, you both represented the australian team - you as a striker, and her as a midfielder, completing each other perfectly as you both had a few plays. the midfielder plays in the women's super league, playing for arsenal, the team you had supported since childhood while you play in the french league, alongside ellie carpenter, a national and club teammate of yours.
"i missed you" kyra's voice was softer than usual as you chuckled at her, before placing a lovely kiss on the crown of her head. "missed you too, sugar."
"we have a few more hours before the team dinner, is there anything you'd like to do?" you asked, as the midfielder stepped back to properly look at you, her eyebrows furrowed as you patiently waited to know that she was thinking of things to do. you noticed how she grabbed your hand softly swinging it, as she hummed and that's when you knew she had already decided on something.
"how about the arcade, and then let's settle for ice cream." you raised your eyebrows, ice cream before dinner - wouldn't that ruin the appetite. but you gave her a nod, giving her a small grin as she led you away from the hotel and onto the streets. the arcade was only a walk from the hotel, as you had your camera in hand - clearly taking photos of the day, as the two of you had been soft launching your relationship. the fans have noticed it, and certainly your national teammates have too, but they've always thought that the pair of you two were just best friends.
"ha! you lose." kyra shouted, as you chuckled at the loudness of her voice. subtly glancing to see if anyone had heard, and they did - but they had averted their eyes as you softly shook your head at your lover who snickered at your screen. you were always competitive, the both of you were - but if there was a game that you unfortunately suck at would be the car racing games.
"you always choose this game to break the tie" as you walked forwards, kyra instantly grabbing your right hand - interlocking your fingers together as you walked side by side, leaving the arcade and searching for an ice cream shop. you were scrolling through instagram, taking a peak at the photos you both posted on your individual stories, sooner or later there was bound to be a tiktok edit about it.
"thinking about the hard launch soon, love?" kyra asked, as she peaked at your phone - passing it to her as she hummed, stopping on a photo. it was a picture of your silhouette. "i like this one"
"because it's the one you took right? but yeah, i find it amusing - we're pulling a mcfoord move." you joked, making her laugh - but it's true, the irish and your fellow national teammate have been soft launching their relationship.
the two of you continued to talk about life, simply catching up as there were a few stories you never told her - just like there were stories she didn't tell you. as the two of you walked to the resturant where the team dinner was held, you watched as she went through the photos you took, quickly picking a few as she showed you.
"let's hard launch these." kyra said, as you came to a stop, flipping through the photos. the first one she chose was a mirror picture of you two, you were the one in front as kyra was the one in the back - you both made a heart shape with one hand.
the rest were simply photos that you two were being carefree, dancing when the sun was close to setting, or her sticking her hand out in the air as you rode the bide safely making sure that you both wouldn't fall - it would be collateral.
when she jumped you on the bed, as you had finally said yes to be her girlfriend - it was after camp had ended. your mother wanted to meet kyra, a simple dinner and when that dinner was over - you brought her to your room - the pictures you had hanged was something she loved.
and lastly, her personal favorite - her hand on top of yours. it's something she loved, she wore your ring in the picture, like she always does.
safe to say, as the mini collage hit the internet, you did get teased by the veteran players of the team. charli was the one teasing kyra the most, as you softly enjoyed it.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
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y/nl/n: i guess it was never a secret, was it?
tagged kyracooneyx
liked by katie_mccabe11, kyraandy/nfan, alessiarusso99, and 572,325 others.
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s-4pphics · 1 year
Text
tag, you're it! (e.w.)
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ITS PRIDE MONTH PUSSSSSSYYYYYYY 
omg this is kindaaaa…. yeah
imma lil proud LOL hope y’all like it 
wc;cw: 14.2k, ceosdaughter!ellie, tagger/artist!oc, ANGST!!, mentions of depression and suicidal ideation, illness, parental death & brief mentions of funerals, descriptions of foster care/homeless shelters and poverty, both oc n ellie have daddy issues, MOMMY ISSUES!!, brief mentions of drug addiction(coke), homophobia DURING PRIDE MONTH🤨🤨, internalized homophobia and misogyny, ellie is a horny touch starved loser n kinda stalkerish?, mentions of criminal injustice(police, prisons, etc.) i hate it here, rich ppl being demons, SMUT!!!!! MDNI!!!!, light descriptions of masturbation, potential dubcon!!, sexual tension😟, bratty subbottom!ellie, mean domtop!oc she carries her dick on her like a glock lol, slight fearplay, KNIFE PLAY/BLOOD, DIRTY TALK, finger and strap sucking, fingering, pussy eating, MOMMY KINK!!, nipple play, squirting <333 n creaming <333, riding, reverse cowgirl, slapping(FACE!!! ass titties), hitting it from the bbbbback, loss of virginity, masochism LOL, a lil ass play LOL, pretty taboo themes catch it
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“She’s… I genuinely believe she’s deranged, your honor! She’s… uncontrollable! Look at what she’s done to our city! Civilians can see her tracks everywhere they go, and it’s disgusting! Not to mention she’s a pervert!” 
You rolled your eyes as you listened to the high-pitched, ongoing shrieks of one of the wealthiest women in the state as she spat belittlements of you to the judge. 
You were… fucked. 
You adjusted in your uncomfortable chair, leaning back and crossing your arms over your chest, turning your head to eye your lawyer, arching a brow at him as you waited for his defenses for you. He looked… scared shitless, to say the least. 
Yeah. You were definitely going to fucking jail. 
Were these pieces of shit really going to treat you like Satan himself for pulling a measly, little prank? Has April Fools truly lost all meaning?
A couple of days ago, on April 1st, you took it upon yourself to spray paint ♡GIRLDICK♡ across the largest building in the city, which just so happened to be owned by the Miller family, if anyone even bothered to call their cultist bond that. Their wealth swiftly accumulated when the now deceased founder of the organization, Joel Miller, discovered some new form of AI technology… or whatever the elders at the shelter told you. His death shook your city years ago; You weren’t sure why it was so moving for people, but R.I.P, you guess. 
You assumed they were just another group of elitist fuckers, but he must’ve been decent at the most; You still remember his memorial broadcasting on the small TV at the shelter as the other residents mourned in solace. 
Regardless, you hope all their institutions across the nation collapse one day, preferably with the rest of them inside. 
The broad in the black, silk suit kept pointing her finger at you, and it took everything in your spirit to not get up out of your seat and rip it clean off her hand and shove it down her throat. 
Not every tag you’ve done around the city has been rooted in “perversion”. There’s nothing perverse about… loving girldick. It’s a way of life!
Fuck security cameras. 
Unbeknownst to them, you’ve already been coined as a hidden talent in the city, at least according to some people you know at the shelter. You’re faceless in the eye of the public, but that separation doesn’t negate their appreciation for your artwork. You even went viral for the mural you painted of your father for his birthday two years ago, even though the fucker that posted it on Instagram hadn’t included your signature. You could bet millions of people have seen it by now, and you gained absolutely nothing from it. 
But, of course, your form of creative expression was being reduced to a jizzing penis. You've created countless mosaics around the city that represent the purest forms of love and sex, and now you are being blasted for being some sort of corrupt sicko. You only drew what came natural to you, and if people felt a way about it, they could choke on the fattest girldick known to humanity. You hate rich people.
Your father didn’t sacrifice everything he had to teach you the complexities of sketching for your name to be attached to outlines of dicks. You didn’t grow up watching your father skip meals so he could get you a new water paint set for your birthday every year for your art to be lawfully ridiculed. The only comfort this situation brought was that you knew he would’ve found the sloppily drawn cock hysterical. You still remember his laugh after all this time. 
You miss him dearly. You probably could’ve been just as rich, if not more, as the bitch at the other table if he was still here with you. He would’ve ensured you didn’t stray off into the life you live now. 
Being in foster care was the dissipation of your joy. You were considered a problem child very early on: fighting the caretakers when they tried to calm you, cursing at them, stealing, and nobody wanted to adopt you because of that, regardless of your talents. You were set up to fail too early, and you despised the world because of it. 
Your record was horrendous, and you were going to jail. You fucking hate rich people.
… Except the Miller's eldest daughter. She gets a pass. 
And she keeps staring at you. 
Every time you caught her sparkly eyes, she blushed and looked forward, her freckles surrounded by a deep red that rushed down her neck. She was dressed much less… sophisticated than her mother: her hair tied back in a low bun and littered with black bobby-pins, a dark-blue sweater, rings on her thumb, black pants, and clean Vanz. 
You knew a lesbian when you saw one. You could barely hide your knowing smirk. 
“My child doesn’t need to be exposed to such… nauseating ideologies! Think of the children of the city and what they’re forced to see because of vile people like that,” she pointed at you again. You were this fucking close to stabbing her with that pen in front of you. 
Your daughter’s gay, Mrs. Miller. 
“With all due respect, ma’am,” the judge started. What kind of backwards shit was this; Wasn’t she supposed to be respecting him? “It’s important that we stay on track. You’re specifically suing her for vandalism— “
“Ongoing, unchecked vandalism! This is not her first charge, your honor, it’s her seventh! She’s… she’s— “
You tried to tune her out, looking around the congested space of the courtroom, and you caught eyes—shiny, green eyes— on you. Again. 
She was fiddling with her hands in her lap, her teeth picking at the dry skin on her bottom lip. But she didn’t look away this time. You watched her eyes trail over your face, down to your jaw, your neck, your chest, only to come back up to your eyes. 
You did the same, taking in the dots on her soft cheeks, her eyes, her pretty nose, and mouth, looking her up and down, biting your lip, letting her know you were gauging her. She was cute, you had to admit. 
“—sentenced to three years in federal prison— “
You looked up in shock, feeling like your body had been dunked into a tub of ice water and left to die, instantly stiffening at the announcement of your sentence, the sound of the slamming gavel nearly putting you six feet under. 
You couldn’t do anything but stare at the judge in disbelief as he organized his papers emotionlessly, your lawyer putting his hand on your shoulder. You knocked it off and glared at him. You looked over to the table, the family already up and taking their leave, Mrs. Miller’s hand tightly enclosed around her daughter’s wrist as she dragged her out the wooden doors.
Two security guards were already walking towards you with cuffs, gripping your arms too roughly to pull you up out of your seat and latching the metal around your skin. You started to panic as they walked you towards another set of doors.
“Wait, wait, my backpack, I need my— “
“You aren’t allowed to have anything on you. Your property will be held by the court until further notice.” 
“But— “
“No buts, and don’t resist,” you felt the security grip your arm harder, and your anxiety peaked, your panting breaths hardly leaving your body.
You didn’t resist. You couldn’t. Your life was shattering around you in slow motion, loose shards slicing through you with intent to kill. 
You allowed the brawly men to drag you… anywhere. You didn’t care anymore; You were tired, and no longer had the urge to fight left in your heart. 
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Ellie was brought up in isolation. 
Homeschooled, no friends, no purpose outside of being the vessel to represent her family name, creating the next line of heirs for her father’s company. 
The benefits of his successes had simply… appeared when she was fifteen. 
She remembered how he went from being present, gave her the utmost attention, played sports with her, taught her how to sing and self-defense with his past down switchblade, to not, completely cut off from society as he barricaded himself in his study and worked relentlessly on new forms of technology. Being an only child brought nothing but loneliness for her after a while. 
But then they were rich. They moved to an affluent neighborhood and into a two-story house in a matter of months, driving Porches and buying out stores. Wealth appeared, but the relationship with her family suffered because of it. 
Her father fell ill, and after a multitude of hospital visits, teary farewells, and a memorial, he was gone. Merely a memory that hardly seemed real. Her and her mother’s relationship became even more unsteady after his passing. 
Ellie’s mother swiftly took over the company in an almost authoritarian way. She interacted with society in a robotic, rehearsed manner. Mechanical, soulless, the only proof of her humanity exposing itself when she snorted white powder. 
Her mother had brought up the idea of marriage the second she turned eighteen, a year before her father’s passing, saying that there were multiple well-off men that were eager to be with her, willing to give her children. Multiple. 
Men…. children… having children with men. Money. The empire. Her mother.
It all made her nauseous. 
… But art didn’t. 
She’d always kept her journals secret. Left in a box on the highest shelf of her walk-in closet where the maids couldn’t find them.
She expressed everything that she couldn’t to her mother on paper. Her depression, her insomnia, her desire for death, her mourning, the need for sex with non-men, any form of physical connection, something—anything that made her feel human, normal.
She needed a fucking hug. A kiss. Sex. She wanted to fuck.
The first time she saw your artwork on an abandoned building as she chauffeured to the museum, she’d nearly fainted. 
It’d been two women on top of each other, the most intimate parts of their body covered with the other’s hands and skin. One had her head between the other’s legs atop blankets and flowers as the other… apparently in the middle of an orgasm. Her mother always made the point of sex sound so… stiff. Lifeless. Merely a factor of procreation.
But your art was so erotic. Sensual. So full of pleasure and softness and care. 
She’d almost jumped out of the car and onto oncoming traffic to get a closer look at every detail, but the car was too quick. She couldn’t even get a fucking picture. 
And she was soaking. How the fuck was she going to explore a museum when she was dripping like this?! 
You’d given her one of the strongest orgasms she’d ever had in her life when she returned home that day, and she didn’t even know who you were. She’d spent hours with her hand between her legs as she thought of your creation while her mother was out working, moaning and crying out as loud as she wanted, and she wasn’t even embarrassed. 
She would sneak out in the darkest clothes she had when her mother passed out on the couch, and just walk. Specifically in search for anything with your signature that she’d memorized like it was her own. She’d taken pictures of your content, memorized them, got off to the suggestive ones in secret, and appreciated your love and passion for your craft. 
She’d even started recreating her own depictions of eroticism. All with women. They never looked the same: different heights, all skin tones and body types, anything that she could think of, she drew it. She’d tried to envision what you looked like after only a few weeks, and she prayed her envisions were at least somewhat accurate. 
She never could draw self-portraits with precision, but she knew it was her. She was always in the middle of the raunchiness that she conjured up in her mind, being touched everywhere, tied up, beaten, completely ripped apart and forced to forget the suffocating world around her. Her reimagining's of herself would be drowned in pleasure, sometimes by you, by herself, by faceless strangers. Anything she wanted. 
When she saw you for the first time, she almost couldn’t control herself. 
She’d felt like a fucking creep as she ducked behind parked cars to watch you paint all over an abandoned freight train behind a trashed building. The streets had been silent as she watched you decorate the metal cart in floral interpretations of pussy, her heart in her throat. 
You looked gorgeous and focused and tired. So, so tired, only in sweats and a tank top with a hefty bag strapped to your back. She assumed you kept your art supplies in there.
Ellie couldn’t keep her eyes off you when she’d seen you during your court hearing. 
You were just as gorgeous as the first time she saw you, but, somehow, even more exhausted. Far away, not really present, but she couldn’t blame you. And she couldn’t stop staring, enthralled by you. Even in your grayest moments, you made her feel vibrant. And that brought her guilt.
But it also made her lustful. Hungry. 
And she couldn’t stop staring. 
When her mother dragged her out of the hearing, she was enraged, even more so when she degraded you on the way back to the car. 
You fucking stared at that whore the whole time!
Don’t ever, in your life, embarrass me again. 
I’ll throw you in the gutter with that rat if you ever disrespect me like you just did in there. Do you understand?
Ellie didn’t even know what she did to garner a response this aggressive, but she was used to it. And, for the first time in her life, she didn’t care. She didn’t give a fuck. 
At that moment, she knew what she had to do.
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It was your fifth day in prison, and you felt nothing. 
You didn’t cry, you didn’t plead, you simply succumbed to your destiny in silence. Your father would be so disappointed if he were alive. 
I raised a fighter, so you fucking fight!
But you couldn’t. You were tired, and you wished you could stay asleep, never to wake up again.
You’ve been working like a dog since you got here, and you accepted it. This was your life, and you felt nothing. 
Until your cell unlocked. These fuckers were probably here to shit talk you again. 
They cuffed your wrists and led you somewhere. You didn’t care where, keeping your head down as they encased your arms in a calloused grasp. You hoped this location would be your last forever. 
They led you into an empty room and uncuffed you. You saw the old sweatsuit that you’d received from the shelter, and your heartbeat sped up. You looked at the security in confusion. What the fuck were they doing? What were they about to do?
You could barely hear what the officers were saying, jumbled words of bail bond and cash payments molding together and sounding like a foreign language to you. They undid your handcuffs and pointed towards the clothes, murmuring for you to change so they could transport you back to the courthouse to retrieve your belongings. 
What the fuck is going on?
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When you returned to the shelter, you inspected your bag. After nearly scrubbing your skin off while showering. 
The contents were all in their original condition, each individual item wrapped in plastic with small notes attached to them. Except for your dick. You assumed the court had no comments. 
Your paint, your brushes, random hairpins, your notebooks. They were all there in their original condition. Thank god. 
What you didn’t expect to see was a new jacket, sweatsuit, and small note wrapped in the same plastic from inspection. 
You ripped the plastic open and retrieved the note, unfolding it and… confusion, arousal, and fear rushed through you, shocking your body as all your feelings shot down your spine. 
It was a sketch of… you. And a girl bent over with her hands bound behind her back as you fucked her. An… incredibly familiar looking girl. 
A freckled girl. A rosy-cheeked girl. The rosy-cheeked girl from a week ago with the psychotic, sadistic mother.
Her expression in the sketch was pure ecstasy. It looked like she was screaming, her cheeks shaded dark with water-paint and her hair a reddish-brown, thrown in all sorts of directions. Her eyes wild and erotic. Yearning. Teary. Her pleasure seemed dream-like.
And you looked just as gone. Head tossed back, sweaty with your dick shoved inside her pussy, your nails digging into the soft skin on her hips, small, but deep, bloody scratches following the painful glide of your fingertips that make the red blotches on her backside. There were small doodles of strap-ons and pussies smudged, erased, fixed to perfection that seemed almost manic. Obsessive. 
You looked at the bottom of the crumpled piece of paper, a small signature across the bottom of it. 
♡GIRLDICK♡
Come back home. Five days.
E.M.
… Come back home? You don’t have a fucking home. And who the fuck is E.M? Your heart was beating against your chest, climbing up your throat in an attempt to escape your body entirely. You couldn’t stop your eyes from flying across the sloppy penmanship. 
… ♡GIRLDICK♡
E.M.
M. 
♡GIRLDICK♡
M.
… Miller Enterprise. 
Miller. 
… Freckles. 
…. What in the fuck. 
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It was almost dark, and you were shivering as the wind blew past you. 
It had been five days. 
You were eyeing the large building in front of you from across the street, a giant M slapped across the top of it, windows galore, hoodie on your head and trembling hands shoved in your pockets. 
You could see the last bit of employees trickling out of the building, clad in suits and tight pencil skirts, heavy briefcases and clicking heels. 
You could also see the fresh white and black paint covering where your spray-painted dick used to be, and it made you chuckle to yourself. You were almost tempted to recreate it with your new snagged bottle of acrylic. It supposedly glowed in the dark. 
But then you saw a dark shadow in the corner of your eye, hurriedly moving past the glass of the entrance. 
Your heart raced instantly at the thought of being discovered, and you followed the body's movement. You could see it was Ellie the closer she got to the glass, dressed in a black sweater and comfortable pants, and her same shoes from the court hearing. She looked antsy, a bit on edge, but curious. She was anticipating seeing you. 
You could see her messing with the keypad on the door, the loud sounds of locks clicking over the bustling streets. Flashes of red, swiftly replaced with flashes of green shined through the maxi-glass, and she looked around at all the doors. What was she checking for?
She seemed satisfied with her job, and she slid the entry door open, leaving it slightly ajar so she could slip something between it. 
She gave one last glance at the system before bolting back inside and down the lengthy hallway before all the hall lights shut off. 
Did she… did she just disable all the alarms for you? 
Now, you were the one anticipating meeting her. 
You ran across the street the second you got a chance, hurdling through traffic before running up onto the sidewalk and treading the stairs. 
You looked down and noticed two pens taped together, holding the door open. You picked them up and inspected them, a glossy, silver M near the gel tip. 
You stepped inside before anyone noticed, the door automatically shutting behind you before the same green lights came on, a robotic voice confirming that the doors were locked.
You were inside the Miller Enterprise, and you were terrified.
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Ellie was so nervous. 
She’d been checking her Chanel watch all day, obsessively monitoring the windows to see if anyone that resembled your form had arrived, but she was disappointed every time she looked. No sign of you, yet.
The later it got, the more anxious she became. Did you see the note she left in your bag? Was it too forward? Did you think she was fucking crazy? Did you hate her for what her mother did? She prayed not. 
She was currently pacing around her mother’s—father’s—dark office, every step of her shoes echoing in the nearly empty room. She hasn’t been in here since she was seventeen, and it brought just as much anxiety as it did the first time. 
This will all be yours when I’m gone, don’t fucking ruin it. 
She hated everything about this space. Every aspect of her dad was completely gone. All his pictures, his vinyl, his pens and pencils, his nameplate. Everything. All of it, completely void of emotion. 
She hated it, she hated it. 
But then she heard a clang in the hallway, and her anxiety picked up even more before she could process it. 
She quickly made her way over to the exit, peeking her head through the doorframe and examining the hallway, searching for you. The noise had to be you! You really came! She could feel her nipples getting hard already.
But she saw no one. No one was in the dark hallway. 
… Fuck.
Why did she shut the system off? The lights wouldn’t come on!
Her hands instantly got clammy, her heart racing, and her knees shook. She hadn't felt like this since she was a kid, and she was horrified.
Someone’s here to hurt you, someone’s going to come in and hurt you!
You never leave doors unlocked! He always said to lock your doors, never, never, never—
She couldn’t stop the intrusive thoughts from taking over her entire body, reaching into her pocket and pulling out her father’s switchblade, pressing its latch down to expose the blade. She slammed the door shut and walked over to the large window and tried to steady her breathing. She looked out of the glass and inhaled harshly. 
Keep your grip tight when you strike! 
Calm down calm down calm down—
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“Boo.” 
You saw Ellie jump with a hard gasp before spinning to face you, a fearful look on her face and her switchblade in hand, pointed edge towards you. 
You could see her chest rise up and down with every shaky breath she took, her body trembling and cheeks flushed. You felt like your body was going to burst into flames, but you hid it, grinning slyly at her as you stepped forward. 
Deep breath. 
“Hi, Ellie.”
Another step forward. She took two back, nearly pressed against the glass. 
“Y-You,” she stuttered as her eyes darted around nervously, and you could see her cheeks flushing in the darkness, “How’d you get in here?” 
“I think you know how.” 
You shrugged, the contents of your bag shuffling on your back. You pointed towards the large, stretched windows behind her that oversaw the entire city, the hustling streets and lights beaming into the dimly lit room from the last bits of sunset. 
“View’s incredible,” your mockery littered in sarcasm. Don’t let her know you’re scared. 
She took a bold step forward as her brows furrowed, anger twisting on her doll-like face. You took two, as well. You saw her eyes dart to your feet before meeting your gaze to hiss at you.
“There’re cameras on every floor of this fucking building! I press that button,” She darted her small knife towards the enclosed, red button on the side of the wall, a large print of EMERGENCIES ONLY directly above it. “And every cop in this city’ll show up and take your ass back to the fucking gutter where you’re supposed to be.” 
… How the fuck was she going to threaten you when she told you to come here?! What was she playing at?
She pointed her weapon back at you. You ignored your confusion and raised an impressed brow before walking forward without pause, pulling her mother’s chair out from under the desk, the wheels squeaking against the marbled tile. You saw the grip she had on her knife tighten. 
You smiled at her. “You’re pretty good with a knife, honey.” 
“Fuck you. Don’t fucking call me that.”
“I dunno,” you scoffed, twirling on your heels as you took in the luxurious space around you. “I can bet my bottom ass dollar that you like it.” 
Her glare hardened, and your smile brightened. You finally moved to sit in the chair, the plush leather molding against your body and stuffed backpack. You scooted back under the desk and rested your elbows on the hand-carved rosewood, completely calm. At least outwardly. Your insides were jittery from adrenaline. 
You quickly inspected the contents of the desk: her mother’s matching rosewood nameplate, some loose paperwork with large sums of money scattered on them, dark pens and markers, and a signed restraining order. With your name on it. 
You’re apparently not allowed a hundred feet within the perimeter of the building. 
… Funny. 
“Press it.” 
Her scowl hardened, “What?” 
You pointed a lax finger towards the button as you looked up from the document, “I said press it. You want me gone so bad, right?” 
She didn’t reply, her fingers fidgeting around the knife as she adjusted her grip. Her eyes nervously flitted across the room, all over the white floors, back on you. 
“You’re not gonna press the fucking button.” You spat with a devilish smile. “And I know why.” 
“Fuck you, you don’t know sh— “
“You paid my bail.” 
You heard her release a shaky exhale when you sliced through her words, her eyes widening in shock like she saw through you, and you knew you had her. Your smile widened as your nails pattered where you tapped on the desk. 
“Uh huh. Why’d you do it?” 
Her throat moved as she swallowed, and you almost laughed. 
You reached into your jacket pocket and pulled out the piece of paper that kept you company in your small cot during your restless nights, unfolding it and holding up the explicit depiction that she left in your bag days ago. You pressed her as you swung the chair with your foot, “Think somebody’s got a little crush. Mommy’s gonna be so upset with you.” 
“FUCK YOU!” She marched towards you until she was in front of the desk, her scent enclosing around you before you felt the incredibly sharp blade against the side of your neck, and you stiffened in terror. You looked at her in shock, studying her expression. She looked pissed, but you saw… something in her eyes that made your core squeeze tight. 
It was vulgar, needy, and you hoped she missed your body’s excited shudder at her crude rage. 
She didn’t. Curiosity shone behind her lust and fiery, her enraged shrieks shook your eardrums. 
“You’re fucking worthless! You really think anyone’s gonna care about you rotting in a fucking cell?! You’re… you’re nothing! You’re a low life! You’re… you’re! —“
You deadened your own eyes as you slowly moved to stand, but she pressed the knife deeper into your skin as she leaned over the desk, your faces closer together. You stiffened and felt a sting on your skin, and a drop of wetness. Your pussy squeezed, and you could feel sweat looking under your jacket. 
“Gonna kill me, Ellie?” You glared at her, your heart pounding with fear and exhilaration. 
Say you want me. Say it, sayitsayitsayit!
Her eyes were vengeful as she scanned your face, but you saw that glint grow behind the harsh overcast. Something you craved just as badly as she did. 
“Really want mommy to see her precious girl killing somebody on camera? Hm?” 
“She,” her breath shuddered. “wouldn’t give a fuck if it were you, I promise.” 
You barely whispered your reply as you leaned even closer, your nipples hardening under your sports bra and your underwear clinging to your wetness. 
“Then do it.”
The heavy breaths she released hit your face in a burning wind, and your core tightened once more. You could see the aggression on her face slowly dissipate, that giddy sparkle in her eye overtaking her pupils as they darkened. 
You felt the cold steel pull away from you slowly, her hand coming down on the desk, — unfortunate— and it threw you into action.
Your hand flew up to her throat and squeezed the sides, and you heard the clatter of the object as it hit the wood. You heard her suck in a choked breath as her eyes glossed over, suddenly desperate and wanton and scared like you’d been seconds before. She looked like a neglected kitten, and it made you hold her neck in tighter constriction. 
She whimpered aloud as she attempted to gasp, her hand coming up to grab your wrist, but you snatched it away with your free hand, and it limply dropped to the desk, her body submitting. 
You leaned in closer to her, and her eyes squeezed shut, lips puckered, silently begging for you to kiss her. You snickered. 
You let her neck go and slammed your palm across her blushing cheek, a loud crack! filling the room. 
She cried aloud, looking like she was about to burst into tears as she jumped off the desk and backed away from you, her hand pressed against her searing cheek. You rose to your feet and circled around the desk, rushing towards her until she was pressed up against the window. Tears were running down her face. You shoved her closer against the glass, grabbing her cheeks to force her to look at you. 
“You’ve been watching me, haven’t you? I got a little fan, is that it?” 
“N-No— “
“Yeah, I do. Fuckin’ stalker. Probably gotta whole shrine t’me in your fucking room. Does mommy know that you worship me? The lowlife who fucked up her building?” You snapped at her.
She flinched at your tone before she choked out a gasped sob, “I j-just liked what you m-made.”
“Stop crying, Ellie.”
She nodded as she sniffled, wiping the tears off her cheeks. You grasp loosened on her cheeks as you cupped her face, your thumb brushing away the wetness on her already bruising skin. You noticed how she leaned into your caress. It made your heart jolt.
“Look at me,” you whispered. 
She hesitantly met your eyes. 
“You wanna kiss me?”
She looked down at her shuffling feet, and you saw her fist clench. 
“Answer me.” 
“Y-Yes, wanna kiss. Just… just one?”
You hummed in satisfaction, inching closer towards her like you did previously. She stiffened but shut her eyes tightly, her plush lips poking out in a pucker once more as your noses touched. You chuckled and whispered, your lips brushing against hers as you spoke. 
“You ever kissed anyone, baby?”
She sighed out an uneven nuh uh, her mouth chasing yours. You grinned wider.
“Oh? M’gonna be your first kiss?” 
She whined out a needy uh huuuh! 
You stuck your tongue out, slowly running the wet muscle over her lower lip, and you felt her whole body tremble against yours. She brainlessly stuck her tongue out to lick yours, but you pulled back. She tried to follow you, but you yanked her head back by the small bun at the back of her head, the soft strands curling around your fist. 
She let out a moan, and your tongue licked up her exposed throat, leaving a trail of spit up her chin, all the way to her mouth. 
You relented and connected your mouths, and she let out a shocked noise into your mouth. You slipped your tongue in her gaping mouth, wet, smacking noises filling the room as you kissed her hotly. She couldn’t keep up with your quick movements, her lips and tongue moving sloppily against yours. Her spit was all over the outside of your mouth. 
You felt her hands come up to your hips to grip your jacket in a tight fist as she moaned into your mouth. 
The noises she let out were so sweet: little, excited gasps and whiny keens as she tried to pull you closer. 
You released her hair and grabbed her chin to move her head to the side. You kissed down her neck, and she jerked against you. Her breaths increased in pace as you pecked her sweaty skin, lapping your tongue all over the side.
You sucked into the skin under her ear, right under her jaw, pulling her sweater down to mark her collarbone. 
“Pleeease, pleaseplease, ah— “
You mumbled in between gentle sucks, “What, Ellie? Talk.” 
You felt her hands grab your hips tighter, but she said nothing. You pushed her hands off you roughly and looked at her with piercing eyes. She shrunk into herself when she met them. 
“When I tell you to do something, you do it. You understand?” 
She nodded quickly. 
“So fucking talk,” you gritted out. 
“Want,” she whispered with a sharp gasp. “Want you.” 
You smirked, “You want me?”
“Mmhm!”
You shoved your backpack off your shoulders, the thud echoing when it hit the floor. 
“Want me to do what?”
She paused before looking down at her feet again, twiddling and picking at her fingers as her face burned red. 
“Um…” 
You rolled your eyes and turned away from her, but you felt her hand grab your wrist and you stopped. You looked at her in annoyance. 
She looked at you tentatively, her breathing shaky. 
But then she slowly brought your hand in between her legs. 
She shivered as she placed her hand on top of yours, making you rub her cunt back and forth. She released pleased sighs as her lashes fluttered, her head falling back against the window as she looked at you up and down. 
“P-Please?” She licked her lips. “Wan’you here.”
You scoffed in shock, and her thighs squeezed down on both your hands. You pressed your palm closer against her, and her hips bucked into you. 
You moved closer to her, your clothed chests pressed together. 
“Move your hand,” you spoke quietly, just for her to hear even though you were alone.
She dropped it limply. You pressed your palm into her covered clit, and she moaned. 
You leaned in, your lips brushing her cheek as you spoke.
“Baby just wanted her pussy touched? That’s why you acted out earlier?”
She didn’t speak as she panted heavily. You brought your hand up to slap her cheek again, and she released a pained cry as her hips twitched. 
“Talk!”
“Yes! Needa… need t’be touched!”
“Tell me where.” You brought your hand back down to her pussy as fresh tears slid down her cheeks. 
She sobbed. “A-Anywhere!”
You leered at her soft face. “Yeah? I get t’choose?” 
She nodded quickly, her eyes screaming touch me, please! Make me cum!
“Open your mouth, honey. Stick your tongue out.”
She mewled softly, but did what you asked, her shiny, pink muscle glistening under the beaming city lights. 
You brought your hand up, rubbing your index and middle finger on her soft tongue. 
“Get ‘em wet.”
She hummed as she sucked them into her mouth with no hesitation. You felt her tongue messily swirl around your digits as she sighed contently, and you pressed an encouraging peck on her cheek. 
You slowly fucked your fingers in, pulling them out, only to push them back in again. You almost awwed aloud when she chased your digits every time you pulled out. She was already drooling for them. 
You pressed her tongue down as you fucked in, and she gagged on them. Her eyes shot open and they instantly watered, her throat tightening around you. 
“Bet you suck a mean dick,” you muttered before you could stop yourself. 
She moaned loudly as you fucked deeper into her mouth, pressing down on the back of her tongue. 
“Oh, yeah? Want mine down that pretty throat?”
She garbled and nodded as much as she could with your fast thrusts in her mouth. You couldn’t wait to fuck it open. 
“Snooped through my shit, didn’t you? Saw my fucking cock and creamed yourself? That’s why you bought me new shit?”
You saw her bring a hand down to touch her pussy, her hips bucking into her own hand, chasing any stimulation. You grabbed her wrist and pulled it away from her. 
You finally eased up on her throat and pulled out completely, lines of slobber connecting your fingers and her mouth together. You cut them with your own tongue, her spit clinging to the edges of your mouth. 
You planted a smacking kiss on her lips before you shoved your hand down her dark, flared pants and into her boxers. 
She squealed when you immediately found her clit with your spit covered fingers, the slippery bud sliding between your already drippy fingers. You watched her hand fly to the white windowsill for balance as your hand went wild on her cunt. 
“Such a wet fucking pussy. Feels good, baby?”
Her brows creased as she nodded, her body rocking with your movements. “A-Ah! —“ 
“Uh huh. You touch yourself like this when mommy’s at work? Hm?”
Her head shamefully jerked in confirmation. You could see her now: her pretty legs spread on her plush bed, her sopping pussy squeezing at the thought of you fucking her just how she needed. She’d be grabbing at her tits as she flicked her clit, desperate to cum all over her blankets for you. Your pussy was so wet. 
“You think about me when you do it?” You knew the answer, but you needed her to say it. Confirm that she thought about you just as much as you thought about her. 
“Yes! Yes, yes!”
“Fucking whore, no wonder she hates your guts.”
She moaned louder at your degradation. “S’c—coming! “
Your fingers were practically vibrating on her cunt, her clit thumping as her orgasm built. “Get my fingers nice’n sloppy, angel, c’mon— “
She reached down to grab your wrist as she jumped on your fingers, but before you could slap her, her body tensed, and her eyes rolled into her skull. You felt her clit pulsate under your touch, and you knew she was cumming.
“Fuckmemommy!”
You couldn’t stop the shock that appeared on your face as you watched her thrash on your hand, gasping out, asking you to please fuck me, mommy! Need you to fuck me!
You just massaged her through it, pressing your hips up against hers so she couldn’t run from your touch. 
“Wan’mommy to fuck you, angel?” you mumbled in your daze as your pussy dripped, your brain barely registering what you just said.
“Yespleasepleaseplease, gimme— “
“Fuck, baby, need mommy inside you?” Your heart was pounding in your ears. 
“M-Mhhm!—“
“Gimme your leg,” You lifted it up with your free hand, bringing it up so it came around your waist.
You slid your fingers down to her twitchy entrance and slipped the tip of your pointer finger inside. You almost moaned at how her walls clung to you, sucking you in deeper, milking you.
“Tightest fuckin’ pussy,” you mumbled to her, and she whimpered when your finger arched inside her. You prodded around until she slumped against you, pushing her hips down on your finger. You leaned in, your lips brushing her ear as you cooed right there? yeah? feels fuckin’ good?
She couldn’t even speak. She just plopped her head onto your shoulder and sloppily kissed your neck. Your cunt clenched and you flinched when her soft tongue licked into the small slit she made earlier. You heard her hum as her tongue swiped a line from your collarbone to your cut; She was licking your blood up like a fucking dog!
It made you punch that spot in her harder, and she cried out against your skin, her nails digging into your forearm. 
You slowly pushed your middle finger in, and she sobbed as she stretched around you. You arched your thumb out to rub her clit as you poked that spongy spot in her pussy; She was so loud for you. 
“Like when I touch you there?” 
“I like it, like it s’much!” You felt her nodding mindlessly against you.
“Gonna cum on me again?” you spat at her. 
“Fuck yes!” 
“Know you’re gonna cum hard, can’t even fuck you like I wanna, squeezing me so tight.”
You dug your fingers as deep and fast into her as her cunt would allow. Her walls were choking the fuck out of you, practically screaming for them to stay where you were pressed inside her. How the fuck was she going to take you fully?!
The thought of breaking her open made you shake, “Gonna make this pussy take me. Can’t wait t’give you this fucking dick.”
Then she started screaming out for you, trying to get you closer, wrapping her arms around you, her leg dropping onto the floor. “Ohgodohgodohgod, m’cumming, mommy, I’mcu—AH!”
You almost fell back when she went limp on you, her knees buckling as her slick coated your fingers, your palm, her panties. You used your weight to push her back against the window, her head thudding against the glass like before, but she seemed too engulfed in her desire to care. You almost brought your hand up to comfort her sore spot, anyway, but you stopped yourself. 
You took her in: practically dangling off you as she wailed from orgasm, her face beat red, the bun at the back of her head almost loose, her eyelids fluttering. You sneered at her, a nasty grin on your face. 
“Atta girl, so excited for cock, ain’t she?”
She could only grind out yesyesyes between her teeth, her fingers still squeezing down on you as you rubbed her clit, her orgasm slowing down. 
“You gotta make me cum first, m’kay?” 
“W’na make… mommy cum!” she nodded like a bobblehead as she slurred. 
“Yeah? Want mommy’s cum in your mouth?”
She wept desperately, “Yes, please, need it!”
You grinned, catching a glimpse of your desperate reflection in the mirror. You’re so glad she was too fucked out to notice.
“C’mon, honey.” 
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Ellie stood in front of you as you sat in her mother’s chair, her shoes kicked off. 
Your bag was tossed next to you as you stared at her, noting her fidgeting stance. She wasn’t looking at you, at all. She was looking down, specifically at your occupied hands. 
You’d picked up her discarded knife from the table, inspecting its rusty, scratched design, slightly bloody blade, retraction. You couldn’t stop fiddling with it. 
“W-What’re gonna do with that?” You heard her ask. 
You ignored it. “Where’d you get it?”
“It was my dad’s.” Her voice went sharp. 
“What kinda father lets his baby play with such sharp objects?” You said in between sarcastic snickers. 
“He’s fucking dead, who cares.” 
You finally looked up at her sharp tone, examining her tense face, and your playful smile slowly dropped. She tried to appear as if mentioning it didn’t bother her, but you recognized that look in her eye from anywhere. Grief fucking sucks, no matter how much time passed.
“… Hm.” 
You looked down at the blade again, then back up at her, “He taught you how to… handle it?” 
She shrugged, her brows raising as her arms crossed over her chest. You nodded. 
Your arm was suddenly incredibly itchy. “Mine taught me how to… draw n’stuff.” 
You looked off to the side awkwardly as you reminisced on the first pack of colored pencils he’d bought you. You remembered how particular he was about the art utensils and their conditions. You didn’t realize that he was trying to ensure their quality because he couldn’t afford another pack until you got older.
Always make sure these bastards are sharpened! That’s true precision!
“… Cool,” you heard her say, and you looked at her, “Were you guys, uh, close?” 
“Mhm,” You nodded stiffly, and silence surrounded the two of you. Ellie awkwardly nodded as she stared at the floor, and your lips twitched before you turned to stare out the window.
Some time passed in pure silence before you heard her speak. 
“… Still wanna, uh… D’you still wanna fuck?” 
You looked at her as she fumblingly scratched the back of her head. Her eyes met yours as her ears burned. You grinned as your shoulders rose.
“Up to you.” 
“Like… I still wanna if you do,” She nibbled on her bottom lip. 
You leaned back in her mom’s seat. 
“Ellie.” 
The deep tone of your voice made her look up, her eyes shining like crystals as her arms dropped to her sides. 
“Yes?” 
“… C’mere.” 
She moved, her sock-covered feet padding on the floor until she was in front of you. 
You looked up at her, your hand coming up to play with the hem of her sweater. 
You spoke softly, “Off. C’mon.” 
She grabbed the back of her top and lifted it over her head, her bare chest jiggling with her movements. She tossed the fabric to the floor. 
You eyed her chest like you were going to swallow her whole, her perky nipples urging you to reach out and pull on them. Her pussy is so fucking sensitive; Were her nipples just as bad? Worse? Could she cum just from you touching them? Fuck, she probably could—
“Are they… Do you like them?” 
Her soft whisper cut through your gawking. You met her eyes through your lashes as she squirmed in front of you. 
Your hands came up to grab her hips, massaging them gently. 
“Yeah, baby. They’re so pretty, fit you perfectly.” 
She sighed in content, “T-Thank you.” 
You planted a soft kiss to her tummy as you looked at your thumb around the elastic of her pants to pull them down. 
Her stomach jerked with every sharp breath as your lips moved on her bare skin. You felt her hand come up to your shoulder to grasp it as she stepped out of her pants. 
Your hands traveled upward to grab both her tits in a rough squeeze. She wheezed and arched her back so you could get closer. You heard her murmur a quiet fuckme, and you looked up. She was watching your every move with wide, curious eyes. You held her gaze as you licked up her torso, and she whimpered. 
You brought your hands back down to grab the back of her thighs, moving her closer to your lap. She placed her hands on your shoulders as she climbed on top of you, and you sucked her nipple into your mouth. 
She grinded down onto you and moaned, and your eyes fluttered shut. Your tongue made circular movements on the pert bud, and you hummed at the taste of her soft skin. Her head fell forward as she gasped right in your ear, and it made you suck on her hard. 
Her hips were jerking on top of you, trying to fuck down onto your clothed thigh as her nails plunged into your back. 
“Feels so… mmh!”
You brought your hand back up to her other tit and played with her nipple with your fingers. 
And then you slapped it. Hard. 
She let out a sharp squeak and mindlessly bounced on top of your leg; You could feel a slight dampness building on your jeans, and you scoffed at her, sneering when you pulled away. You hit her other tit just as hard, your spit transferring onto your palm. 
“Ah! Fuckfuckfu— “
Smack!
“Yes!”
SMACK!
She squealed. “M’gonna cum!”
You reached up to slap her face before pulling her hair to the side with a tight fist. 
You quickly grabbed her switchblade off the desk and unlatched the blade, the sharp edge popping up. You instantly pressed it to her neck, and she choked on a ragged pant. 
The lust in her eyes was accompanied by fear, and you grinned. 
“Don’t get scared now. You were waving it around earlier. So ready to fight, huh?” 
She shuddered, rutting down on your leg again, and you pressed the sharp edge into her skin harder. Her eyes shut tight, and two fat tears fell down her cheeks. She nearly bounced on you. 
“I could fuck you up right here, you know that, right?” 
“Please, mommy, needa cu—!”
You moved the knife away and released her hair, slapping her in the face again. “Shut the fuck up, you nearly slit my fuckin’ throat and now you wanna fuck. I should leave right now, fucking brat.”
She sobbed, “Nonono, please don’t leave, mommy don’t go, m’sorryI’m— “
“Mommy, don’t go!” you mocked. “Get on your fuckin’ knees.” 
You kept the blade pressed against her jugular as she clumsily shuffled to the floor, her cries shaking her body. 
“You wanna apologize?” She nodded jerkily, minding the silver edge on her vein.
“Yeah? Wanna make mommy feel better?” You said with a mean pout. 
“Mhm!”
You sloppily kicked your boots off and shoved them under the desk. 
“Take m’pants off, baby. C’mon.”
She moved quickly, unbuttoning and tugging your jeans and underwear down your legs as she sniffled. She yanked them off with a hard tug, and her eagerness made you giggle as you lifted your hips. You unzipped your jacket and pulled it off your shoulders, tossing it to the floor, leaving you in your black tank top. You could’ve sworn you saw a glimpse of a grin on her face as she eyed your breasts before she dived towards your cunt. 
You shoved the knife closer against her, and you saw blood pool at the edge of the blade. She looked up at you with an anxious expression. 
“I didn’t say you could touch me. Ask nicely.” 
She looked confused as she mumbled brokenly, “Ask you what?”
Your brows furrowed at her, “My mistake. You probably never had to ask for shit in your life.” 
Her bruised cheeks glowed red as she looked down in embarrassment. 
You grinned slyly. “Say, mommy, may I eat your pussy, please?” 
Shock overtook her expression before she rolled her eyes at you and looked to the side.
“You’re fucking cra— “
You yanked her dark hair back and pointed the end of the blade against her bruised jaw. Her ragged breaths hit your face.
“Say it.” 
“Y-You're not gonna hurt me,” she stated unsteadily. 
“You don’t know shit about me, and even if I did hurt you, you’d want it. Admit it.” 
She avoided your gaze and her lips quivered. 
You continued. “You’d let me do anything I want because you’re disgusting. A filthy fucking slut with a silver spoon in her mouth.”
You huffed at her with a frown. “And you like girls. You’d be just as worthless as I am in her eyes if she found out.” 
You nodded over to her mother’s nameplate, and her eyes shut like she was a child getting scolded for stealing candy at the store. 
“I’m right, baby? You don’t want a husband? Don’t wanna get bred for the empire like she wants?”
She shamefully shook her head as tears fell down her face. You didn’t even know if she was in that circumstance or not, but by her reaction, it seemed to cut her deep. You ignored the searing pain in your chest.
“Mhm, so,” you turned her head so she could look at you, her red eyes burning through yours. “Something you wanna ask me?” 
Her mouth dropped open in submission.
“M-Mommy, may I… May I eat your pussy, please?” 
You smiled in satisfaction, placing a gentle kiss on her wet forehead. 
“Yes, baby, you may.” 
You pulled the knife away from her and set it on the desk, grabbing her chin to plant a kiss to her mouth. She whined happily into yours. 
You pulled back and adjusted your position, leaning back with your legs spread, the underside of your knees hooked into the armrests of the seat, your cunt on full display for her. Your sopping pussy was right next to her face, and you saw her eyes flutter in delight. 
“Want me t’show you how?” 
She nodded intensely. 
You brushed away the flyaway hairs on her forehead, your hand planted on the back of her head. 
“Spit on my clit, babe. Get it nice n’wet.” 
She released a glob of spit right onto your pulsing bud,
and you sighed as it dribbled down to your hole. You tilted her head back, remnants of slobber collecting on her chin. You gathered spit in your mouth and pulled her lower lip down, her mouth falling open. You spat onto her tongue, and she moaned, tilting her head down to spit it out all over your pussy. You bit your lip so hard; you almost drew blood.
You reached down and spread your lips, your throbbing clit poking through. You could see her trembling as she eyed you. 
“Wanna taste, Ellie?”
“Yeah, please, mommy,” she choked out. 
“Lick me, then, honey.” 
She wasted no time, the tip of her tongue circling around the nub instantly. Your mouth fell open at the sensation. The pink muscle was so soft, the licks slow and gentle, barely there. 
“Doing so good, baby, take your time,” you sighed out. 
She keened at your praise; her lashes flitted like butterfly wings in Spring as she rubbed your clit in deep licks. 
“Fuck, Ellie, s’so sensitive,” she whined against you, eyes begging for your approval as she watched your expression. You caressed her burning cheek with your pointer finger, and she licked deeper.
“Fuck, baby, that’s it, making me so happy,” her eyes rolled shut as she tongued you, sliding her tongue all over your pussy in slow strokes. 
You moaned out every time she came up to lap at your clit. You guided her head down to your hole, and her tongue slipped inside, slurping up all your slick. You were gasping her name out as her tongue wiggled inside you, swirling all over your walls. 
“Such a good girl, fuck, El!” you groaned out as wet sounds filled the room. “Wanna make mommy cum?”
She hummed excitedly and nodded, her tongue moving back up to massage your clit. You tightened her grip on her head, forcing it to move back and forth her hums shaking your clit. 
She moved her head faster against you when she sucked your clit into her mouth, and your head fell back against the chair as your eyes rolled back. Your thighs were shaking, toes curled as you squealed out encouragement. You needed to cum, she was going to make you cum!
“Get me there, pretty, m’— gonna make me fuckin’ cum— “
“Wan’mommy’s cum, please?” she sloppily murmured against you. 
“Gonna get it, baby, m’right there! —“
She was fully moaning all over your clit, “Gonna fuck you so good, angel, fuck yes!”
You peeled your eyes open and looked back down at her when she released your clit to moan aloud. Her drool and your pussy juice were all over her pink lips as she sighed and whimpered in pleasure. You couldn’t see what she was doing, but her forearm was moving frantically as quiet shhlcks filled the room. 
“Ellie.”
“Mommym’gonnacum— “
“I swear to g— “
“S’so wet, oh god, please!” 
SMACK!
Her head flew onto your thigh at your hard slap to her face, and she screamed out as her body tensed up. You watched her with a scowl as she squealed out m’cummimgsohardmommy against your skin, a puddle of drool forming on your skin. 
You yanked her hand out of her boxers, and she whined in protest as her orgasmed died, her hips bucking back into the air. You stood up, pulling her up by her waist and bending her over the desk, holding her down by her neck. 
“Stop fucking with me, Ellie.” You pulled her boxers down under her ass, taking in the sight of her still pulsating cunt and her twitchy ass. 
She spat at you over her shoulder, “Or wha— “
SMACK!
She groaned out in pain against the wood when your hand connected with her asscheek in a fiery slap, your hand burning. 
“Motherfuc— “
SMACK! 
You hit her and hit her. And hit her again. And again. Until she was jerking away from you, her hips bucking against the desk and your handprints covering her ass in a cherry-red tint. 
You don’t even remember how many times you slapped her, but she was sobbing out apologies against the desk, asking for your forgiveness over her tears.
“You done fucking around?” Your hand felt like it was in flames when you dropped it on the desk.
“Yesyes, mommy, I won’t—sob— won’t fuck up again!” 
“I was actually gonna eat your pussy out,” you scoffed out nastily, and she only cried harder at the insinuation that you weren’t anymore. “You don’t want that, you don’t want me fucking nice.” 
You pulled away and walked towards your discarded
bag on the floor, digging through it and pulling your dick out, stepping into and adjusting the straps as you watched her bruised ass jiggle with each wail. 
Your dick stood up as you walked back over to her. You gave her one last hard slap on her marked ass and pulled her up by her arm, shoving her onto her knees in front of you so she was trapped between you and the desk. 
You could see her wiping away tears, but you grabbed her chin, forcing her to look up at you. 
“You want dick so bad? Get it wet so I can fuck you.” 
Shock appeared on her face.
“Y-You’re gonna fuck me with that?” You watched her inspect the size of you. The length, the girth, all the ridges. Her breathing got heavier the longer she stared.
“Now you’re fucking scared, really, Ellie?”
“I’m not sca— “
“Talk back again, and I’m leaving. You’re getting on my fucking nerves.” 
She glared at you, but looked down, straight at your tip, then back at you. 
And then she spit on it, a fat glob of saliva dribbling down the sides of your cock. Her hand came up to wrap around the base, rubbing her spit into the silicone. She held eye contact with you as she stuck her tongue out. You reached down and placed your hand on top of hers, slapping your tip on her slobbery muscle. 
“Good fucking whore, good n’sloppy,” you let go to pat her still-red cheek with a heavy hand, and her pretty eyes hardened, her blush deepening. She dropped her mouth open, her lips curling on the tip as she sucked on it. You bit your lip as you watched her tongue swirl around you.
She moaned around the silicone, her eyes filthy. Her hand spread her spit up all over you as she took in your inches slowly, jerking you off and slobbering on you at the same time. She looked like a fucking pornstar, like she practiced for this, like she wanted to impress you, and you shook like you could actually feel her mouth. Your pussy was desperate to cum, but you pushed it aside and watched her. 
She released you with a wet pop, her tongue flicking around your tip like she was lapping at your cum, and you couldn’t stop the moan that left your mouth. 
“Nasty slut, goddamn— “
She smiled like you just called her the prettiest girl in the world before sucking you back in, her head bobbing up and down as she slurped you up. There was so much spit on your length that it started dripping onto the floor.
You bucked forward, your hips moving on autopilot, and she choked on you, her hand coming up to your thigh to squeeze it. You ignored her grasp and fucked into her mouth harder, pinning both her arms above her head on the desk. She gargled around your dick, and you could only imagine the tightness of her throat with each gag. 
“What, baby? Don’t like it? Want me t’stop?” You gritted out. And you thrusted deeper. She moaned and her mouth opened wider.
She was making wet noises around you, her head thudding against the top drawer of the desk when you fucked in. You fucked your entire cock down her throat, and she gagged hard. 
You pulled out and let her go.
She fell forward and coughed hard, her drool pooling down on the eggshell floors as she choked. You watched in irritation as she heaved.
“Get up,” her gasps slowed as she breathed in deeply, and she lifted her head to glare at you from her hunched position. 
“Get up.” 
“Fuck you,” she spluttered.
“I’m gonna. Get up.”
Despite her bitterness, she slowly stood and instantly bent over the desk with her scarred ass poked out towards you. You chuckled when you saw both her holes pulse in excitement.
“That’s how it is?” you slapped her asscheek, and her hips bucked back against your hand. 
“Uh huh,” you heard her crackly mumble dazedly. “Need you t’make me cum.”
“Seemed alright doing it yourself a few minutes ago.”
She ignored you, and you smirked, “Need your cock, mommy, pleeease, please— “
You reached out, running two fingers over her drenched slit, and she pressed back on them as she sighed in pleasure. You slowly slid your fingers down to her clit, and she moaned aloud, her thighs jerking. 
“Look at this fucking pussy, jesus.” 
“I-It’s pretty?”
“Yeah, baby, fuck,” your mouth watered when you saw her walls clench. “Can’t even be mad, you’re so fucking hot.”
“Then fuck me,” she whined out sweetly, looking at you over her shoulder. 
You leaned down until you were eye level with her pussy, her walls squelching and squeezing repeatedly. You bit your lip and kitty-licked her cunt, her slick painting your taste buds as her smell surrounded you, and she jumped at the feeling. 
“Taste like fucking honey.” 
“So do you, made me so wet,” she exhaled as she shivered in anticipation. 
“S’gonna hurt,” you whispered, more to yourself as you eyed her tightness. 
“Don’t care.” She pushed back on your face.
“Put your hands behind your back. Don’t move them.” 
She shuddered and obeyed instantly, her hands overlapping at the wrists at the small of her back. 
You pressed one last kiss to her pussy before standing upright, “You move your hands, I stop.”
“Not gonna move, mommy,” she whispered in between unsteady breaths. “Make me feel good, please. Please, please.”
“Shh. Got you, baby. Open your legs,” you caressed her back and she squirmed. You felt goosebumps rise all over her skin, and you smirked.
The gap between her thighs widened even more for you, her cunt on full display. You could hear her beckoning you to pop the tip inside her in tiny, desperate whispers, and it made your core clench. 
You inched closer to her until the back of her thighs pressed against the front of yours. You wrapped a hand around your wet dick and brought it up to her slit, soaking it in her gooey slick and sliding it between her silky lips. Her cunt was already soaking your entire length and you didn’t even fuck her yet. She was subtly pushing back on you, trying to get you inside her. 
You heard the enthusiasm in her voice when she keened, “Mommy, please, it’s right there!”
“Mhm, I know, I see it,” you mumbled wetly, her gooey cunt looked so pretty under the light of the city, shining like glitter.
“Making mommy so wet baby, such a pretty girl,” you brought your cock back up to her slit and pushed forward, slowly popping the tip in her snug opening. She squealed loudly, and you saw her fists clench at the end of her spine as her walls clung to you, pulling you in.
“Yesyesyes, oh god, mommy, fuck, uh huh!”
“Yeah, baby? It hurts?” 
“Nooo, feels s’good, oh shit! —“
You slowly pushed in another inch, gauging her reaction for any discomfort, your thumb moving on her hip softly. She tried to push back to take you deeper, but you held her hips down.
“Fuck mefuckmefuckme— “
“Gonna be my good girl, baby? Gonna take it nice’n deep?” 
“Yeah, mommy!”
You pushed in even deeper, and you could feel the resistance of her cunt the more you slid in. You couldn’t stop the moan you released when she said your name. 
“Y-You’re splitting me open, ffuck— “
You pressed in the last bit of your dick, her ass resting at the top of your thighs, your hands propping you up on the desk as you leaned above her, placed on either side of her head. She was sighing heavily in satisfaction, and you could see her glossy eyes rolling. 
“Feelin’ good?”
She nodded slowly, “U-Use me, mommy, please use me t’cum, fuck.”
“Gotta take care of my girl first,” you fucked out of her slowly before snapping your hips, fucking all your inches back into her, and she screamed. “Such a tight pussy.”
You bent down to kiss her pretty back, down her spine as you stroked her deeply. You’d barely completed your fourth stroke before you felt Ellie tense up under you, her body shuddering as she moaned quietly to herself. You snickered at her. 
“Baby’s cumming?” you licked up her spine again. 
You could only see her nod in jerky headshakes from where you stood, her cheek pressed against the desk. You looked down at where you were connected, and you could see how her walls struggled to choke your dick. You grabbed her wrists in one hand and fucked her through her orgasm, your free hand sneaking under her hips to rub her clit. 
The second her body relaxed, you saw the muscles in her back flex again, the arch in her back deepening, “Mommy, think—m’cumming again, oh god, motherfu— “
“How many are you gonna give me, angel?” you rubbed her clit faster, fucking in harder. 
“I feel it, I feel it, fuck!” She wasn’t listening to anything you were saying as she yelled in her pleasure. You could see how much she was wetting your cock, lines of her slick forming every time you pulled out of her. You angled your hips downward when you fucked back in, and she shouted your name out, her warnings of her orgasm echoing in your ears. You released her clit and pinned her down by her neck again. 
“Like it right there, baby? That’s the spot?” You could feel your core squeezing with every cry she let out, her voice completely broken, her squeals scratchy. 
She was babbling about something, but you weren’t listening, the squelchy sounds of her cunt increasing in volumes as you forced your dick in her, stirring her guts up. 
You looked down and saw her ass squeezing with every quiver of her cunt, and you licked your lips. You let her wrists go and brought a hand to your mouth, sucking your thumb in to wet it before rubbing her ass with it. 
She let out a loud slew of ah ah ahs before you felt a burst of wetness on your thighs, dripping down onto the floor. Her entire body was jerking back onto your, her rosy ass jiggling every time she hit your hips. 
But then you heard a slam above her shouts of pleasure and mommy!
You looked up to check on her unsteady form as she continued to drench your lap, her hand resting on the back of her mother’s nameplate, her fingertips digging into the wood as she screamed in her euphoria. 
It made you fuck her harder and pull her hand away from the dog tag. You didn’t even care about punishing her anymore, you needed to cum. You’d been riding that edge since you got here, and you knew you were going to cum so hard.
You leaned over her body and grinded into her, moving her hand away from the plate and sitting back up in its position. You grabbed her by her spit-coated chin so she could look dead at her mother’s name. She whimpered and tried to look away from it, but you tightened the grip on her face to keep her still. 
“Look at it, baby— “
She sobbed, murmuring how hard she was about to cum again, her eyes fluttering as she stared at it, her cheeks glowing like apples.
You bent down to her ear, “You embarrassed, angel? Huh? Wanna close your eyes? Gonna squirt on me again?”
She was looking dead at the plate, “You’re so deep, mommy, fuck yes, m’gonna!—“
“Nasty fucking slut, taking it so good,” You looked up at the clear window as your thrusts picked up pace again, the entire city shining through the glass in all its glory. Every light of every building, people roaming, honking, noises of construction. It was all beneath you, and it was all theirs. The strap was bumping on your clit with each thrust. 
“Look at your city, baby,” you lifted her weightless head by her wild, knotted hair and made her look into the distance as you groaned in pleasure. “Gonna be all yours one day, can do whatever you want with it soon.”
“Fuuuck— “
“Uh huh, you like having that power? You can get whatever the fuck you want— “
“M-Mommy!”
“Just need a baby, right? Gonna g-give her what she wants? Gonna give her that precious heir, that golden child?”
“Yesyesyes! Wan’your baby, ge’me fucking pregnant!”
You moaned at her begging as you babbled mindlessly to her, “Gonna cum in you, fuck, need it… t’catch— “
She was screaming about how your seed was going to catch in her womb, how hard she was going to squirt again, begging you to fuck her harder, hurt her, make her bleed, make her scream. You could feel your senses leaving as your orgasm built as she pushed back on you, and you moaned her name in her ear. 
“Fuuuck, Ellie,” your clit jerked, and you let her go, her head falling onto her arm in front of her as she yelled in euphoria. “Gonna make that bitch raise my fuckin’ kid while I’m gone? Huh?”
She didn’t even react to your slip of your departure, “Yeahyesyesyes! Fuck, I’m cumming!”
You felt another spray of liquid drip down your legs as you drilled her, and it triggered your own orgasm. Your clit jerked as your release rushed through you, your walls clenching as your body shook on top of hers, grinding against her to ride it out. You could almost feel the sensation of filling her up, her cunt sucking your cum deep inside her. 
She was still moaning above you, wringing the last bits of her orgasm out on your cock. You whined against her sweaty skin, the aftershocks moving through you. 
You felt her go completely lax underneath you, heavy sighs leaving her parted lips. 
You both caught your breaths in soothing silence. 
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After Ellie asked you to show her how to kiss properly, the pounding of your heart refused to slow down. 
You were seated in her mother’s chair once more, her wetness still coating you in stickiness as she straddled your lap, her arms around your neck as she gazed at you nervously.
“We just fucked, why do you look like that?”
Her brows creased, “Like what?”
“Like you’re scared.”
“I’m not scared,” she whispered, her eyes flickering down to your lips before looking back up at you. 
You only hummed at her, brushing your noses together before leaning forward, grabbing the back of her neck to pull her down to you. Her eyes shut tightly, and her lips puckered in front of yours, and you pulled back, grabbing her face to stop her.
“Stop doing that, just relax.” 
“… What’d I do?”
You mimicked her, poking your lips out stiffly before breaking out into a grin. She huffed with a tiny smile, shaking her head, “Sorry.”
You shrugged, uncaring. She looked down, “Where do I put my tongue?” 
You snorted, “Nowhere yet.”
You craned your neck up slowly and connected your mouth with hers gently, your lips molding against hers. She sighed and leaned closer into you, her arms tightening around the back of your neck. You felt a sharp sting in your chest at her delicate touch, and you pulled away. A soft smack filled the room when you separated. She smiled softly, “That was cute.” 
You nodded stiffly, murmuring a mhm, before looking down. Out the window. Behind her. Anywhere but her eyes. 
You felt her nuzzle against your cheek, kissing it gently, “Are we… uh, fucking again?” 
“You want to?” The pounding in your ears was giving you a headache. 
You felt her nod. Another kiss to your cheek. Another pull in your heart. 
Your hands planted on her hips, lifting them so she could sit on you, but she grabbed your wrists to stop you. 
Her hands latched onto the hem of your shirt, attempting to pull it up and over your head, but your hand caught her wrist. Not harshly, but stern.
Her eyes softened at your masked expression, releasing the gentle grip on your shirt, “I’m, uh… I’m sorr— “
“It’s fine. Ready?” you grabbed the base of your dick in your hand, and she mumbled a quiet yes. 
You felt her hand come on top of yours as she helped you guide it to her entrance, and your breath shook as you exhaled.
Her hips came down on you at her own pace, your free hand resting on her hip. She gasped when it slipped inside, her hands coming to support herself on each armrest. 
“Feels different like this,” she whispered huskily.
You smirked, “I know, take your time.” 
She nodded, slowly sinking down on you. You saw her eyelids get heavy as her walls caught on every ridge of you, her head falling back in her pleasure. Her soft locks disheveled all over her head, her bun nonexistent as her bobby pins stuck out from every direction. 
She slid in too deep, though. She let out a pained gasp as she caught herself on the chair, her brows furrowing. 
“Okay?” you checked in.
She nodded, her lip in between her teeth, “So deep like this, fuck… don’t know if I can go all the way down.”
“It’s fine, babe, make yourself feel good.” 
“H-Help me?” her breathing was picking up as her hips bucked. 
Your other hand flew to her hips, digging into her soft skin as you guided her hips on you. You eased her into a deep grind, and her hands flew behind you, landing on the headrest behind you. 
Her head rested in the crook of your neck as she followed your movements, her wet moans hitting the side of your neck. The sensation of her breath on your skin made your pussy clench. 
“Am I—gasp—doing good, m-mommy?” 
“Fucking me so good, baby, shit,” you whispered in her ear, and she moaned aloud in yours. She sped up on you, the harness digging into your clit with each swivel of her hips. 
Your hands moved down to grab her ass, spreading her cheeks before slapping them, grabbing the plush of them in your hands. She fucked you harder, and you felt her spit drip on your neck as she wailed into your skin. You threw your head back on the headrest when she sucked on your neck, right on your open scar.
She lifted her head up and looked at you with gentle eyes, her hands moving down from the headrest to grab your cheeks in a soft touch. She was panting on your mouth, her lips brushing against yours with every jump on you. She was so close and she smelled so good, her lips soft. 
She whispered dreamily, “Can’t stop cumming— “
Your eyelids fluttered, “Then don’t. Give it to me, m’so close— “
She grinded harder as she leaned down to connect your lips in a honey-sweet kiss. You reciprocated against your brain's desires. 
Push her away. She’ll never be yours! This is all she wants from you!
Tears built in your eyes as your peak approached, her moans increasing in urgency against your mouth. You sucked on her bottom lip, biting it hard. This is the most eager you’ve felt since you touched her. 
“Cum with me, pleasepleaseplease— “
“I’m gonna, baby, fuck me hard!”
She was going crazy on your dick, full-on bouncing on you, taking it all despite her protests earlier, and you felt yourself tipping. Your pussy squeezed and soaked the harness as your orgasm pulled in your gut. You looked down at your cock, and it was drenched in her white, sticky substance. She was creaming all over your cock as she used you. It made your eyes cross in your skull as your euphoria hit you. 
You were so loud as your nails tore into her skin, your moans matching hers in volume. You felt another splash of fluid on you, and you came harder, another wave crashing through you. You would’ve curled in on yourself if she wasn’t on top of you. 
You felt her tongue slide into your hungry mouth, swirling around yours as you shouted through your high. She was making you feel so good, and you couldn’t fucking think. 
You felt like you were cumming for minutes before the harsh pulses slowed into soft twitches, her hips slowing, and she bent down to kiss you. The touch was soft, sweet, undeserved. You stiffened, on guard immediately. 
She was close, she was too close. Her soft caresses on your face snapped you out of your intoxication, pulling away from her mouth and grabbing her hips to pull her off your dick. 
“T-Turn around, Ellie.”
“Huh?” she asked softly, her eyes teary and delicate. 
“T-Turn around,” your voice trembled.
“O-Okay.”
She was too fucking close. 
She lifted off you, planting her feet on the ground and you spun her. You pulled her down on your lap, her ass in front of your cock. You grabbed your tip, pushing it past her entrance, and she mewled. She took it with ease, mewling out as her back arched into you, swallowing you whole as she sunk down again. 
She planted her hands on your knees and immediately bounced on you, her toned ass meeting the base of your harness with every jump on your cock. 
You could see her pussy suck on your inches, suffocating your girth, her walls clinging to you. 
You grabbed her neck and pushed her forward slightly, and she cried out in painful pleasure. You planted your feet on the floor and fucked up into her. 
“Fuck! Your dick feels so fucking good! Oh my—agh!”
You saw even move cream spread over your dick with every fuck inside her squishy walls. You were moaning with her, fucking her harder, faster, the hand on her neck moving up to pull her hair hard. The sound of wet skin slapping accompanied the sounds you both made in your pleasured state. 
You were going to cum so fucking quick, “Fuck, Ellie, shit— “
“I’m gonna cum so hard, mommy!” your hand in her hair flew down to her hip, grinding her down harder on you. You moaned at the feeling.
“Yeah? Already?” You were right behind her, those euphoric waves pulling in your gut.
“Fuck—fuckyes!”
“Want it so bad, get it all over this fucking dick, baby— “
Her hand that'd been playing with her tits flew down on top of yours on her waist, her fingers lacing with yours tightly as she shouted, screaming your name. She met your harsh thrusts as she bounced, and she squirted on you again, and you watched it gush out of her, wetting your stomach and harness and the chair beneath her, the sound of splattering liquid on the floor making you cum the hardest you ever had. Your vision whitened as your orgasm crushed you. 
She kept cumming on you, and you kept cumming for her. The pleasure didn’t stop, and all you could do was scream her name out like she did yours, hold her hand tighter as your brain melted. She rocked back and forth on you, prolonging your orgasm, making you cum harder. It just kept building in intensity, the aggressive pulses wracking through you, your toes curling as she milked you, and all you could do was take it.
You blacked out in her mom’s chair, the last thing you remember seeing was her pulsing, squirting pussy, pulsing ass, and the auburn stars that painted her entire back. 
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Some time passed, your lashes fluttering open as you felt soft touches on your face. 
You were met with delicate, green eyes, Ellie looking at you with a softness you hadn’t seen in years. It felt foreign, deep, and it made your heart pick up in panic. 
You pulled away from her touches and looked around unsteadily. 
She was too close. Too fucking close.
The office was a mess: clothes everywhere, the floor was soaked, the whole room smelled like sex and pussy, desk askew, its contents thrown everywhere, Ellie’s tears and puddles of spit all over the surface. You could even see splatters of… her on her mother’s restraining order against you. 
You were suddenly terrified, moving into action and guiding her off your lap so you could stand. You undid the straps of your dick and stepped out of it, cringing at the drying stickiness, and throwing it into your backpack.
You heard her speak from behind you, “Hey, hey, you okay? What’s wr— ‘
“Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine, I gotta go,” you said tensely. Unwelcoming. Guarded.
“Did… did I do something?” She sounded too soft, too gentle. 
“No, Ellie, I just, I gotta go,” You dressed erratically, pulling your underwear up and jeans on, wincing at your cum sticking to your garments. 
You could hear the crack in her voice, “Can I… do you need help or— “
“Ellie, I’m fucking fine. I’m fine, okay? Forget it.” You spat over your shoulder as you repacked. Don’t look at her, don’t fucking look at her. 
She sounded just as anxious as you did, “W-Why are you so upset with me all of a sudden? What’d I do— “
“You didn't do shit! Can you fucking drop it please!”
Her breath shuddered, “I thought… I thought we were… okay?” 
You whipped around to face her, an incredulous look on your face. Your heart shattered when she flinched, but you yelled at her anyway. Why the hell did you look at her?
“Why the fuck would we be okay?! Did you forget how we fucking met in the first place!” You pointed behind her to the soiled court order, “We’re never going to be fucking okay! Get that through your fucking head.” 
You reached down to grab your heavy bag, throwing it over your shoulder in a hurry. You felt like you were going to suffocate. You needed to go. Right now. You turned towards the door. You hadn’t even shut it all the way when you came in. 
“I’m never going to see you again, am I?” 
Your own tears fell at the dejected acceptance in her voice. She sounded so broken, and it was all your fault. 
But you knew this was for the best. The two of you could never exist together in bliss, even though meeting her was the most human you’ve felt since you were a child. Since your father was alive. 
But you were too different, too damaged. All you would do is hurt each other, you would resent each other, grow to hate, to regret. The world was too cruel, and she was not prepared for its harshness. You were barely prepared, and you lived it every day. And you promised yourself to never go through the despair of loss again. You walked towards the door and heard her release a quiet sob. 
“No,” you pulled the knob, the spacious hallway being another reminder that you didn’t belong. Not here, not anywhere. Her mother was right. 
You were worthless. Held no value in this society. 
In another life, you could’ve been something great. Your cards could’ve been different, better. You could’ve made your father proud. The two of you could’ve been happy.
“You won’t.” 
You left the same way you came, moving in urgency before her sobs lured you back to take her in your arms, against your will. 
Maybe in another life. 
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hi lol OOOOOOWEEEEE 
this was heavy sorry gworlies i love sad shit 
don’t hate me too much? 
omg tell me what y’all thought or whatever *looks away shyly 
thank u 4 reading if u did :3
hi taglist love yall @cherriessxinthespring @ellieswifee @elliespookie @belovednanami @sevikasimp @saturnsellie
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1K notes · View notes
Idk. Hearing Idaho state representatives debate free menstral products as if they just learned periods exist and can't be controlled is... kinda weird to me.
It's like a cis-man going up to a cis-woman and being like "Did you know women can't control their menstral cycle and it hurts really bad?" As if he just learned that 5 seconds ago.
It's 2023. Please stop talking about this as if this is new information and start stating it as if it's obvious facts.
Less "We know now girls can't control their periods" and more "Why the fuck can't they get access to menstral health. It sucks enough without them having to pay for pads and tampons on top of it."
-fae
1K notes · View notes
claireelle18 · 5 months
Text
Lucky Charm
Prompt: When no one knows that they’re secretly married, but after scoring in the Stanley Cup playoffs he sees her in the stands wearing his jersey and holding the kid no one knows he has…and he’s almost knocked on his ass because he can’t take his eyes off her, and the moment is featured on national TV.
The day had been a long one of keeping up with the rambunctious toddler. Of course she wouldn’t exchange it for the world. Between the two parents, she agreed to be the stay at home mom while he provided for them.
It was a last minute decision to be down there at the arena, let alone up against the glass. She wasn’t sure how her girlfriend managed to get the tickets, pretty sure she had them, but the other guests bailed on her. 
“Linds, I can’t come! I’ve got no one to watch Salem tonight.” 
“Sage, just bring her! I have enough tickets for all of us. She can sit between us. Besides I bet she would love to see her Daddy play!” Salem had just recently turned two-and-a-half, and had only seen her Daddy play on tv and during the open practices.
“Sails you wanna go watch Daddy play?” She giggled and clapped. 
“Daddy?” The toddler questioned her mama.
“Yeah, baby. Daddy is at work. Want to go see him?” She nodded, and clapped more. “Okay, fine Linds we will see you there! Text me the tickets!” 
“Yay! I promise you’ll have fun!” 
With the heavy amount of traffic, both automobiles and pedestrians, it took a little longer to get past security than originally planned. Which meant warm ups were just wrapping up when the pair met up with the friend. “Hi ya Salem!” Salem laughed and waved hi back to her Aunt Linds. “You just missed him, but he will be back out soon.” 
The two women chatted as Salem watched the lights and people all around her. He wasn’t a starting player for the game, so she observed him on the bench. He was so sucked into the game, not knowing she was there, so close. 
First intermission came in a flash. He had a few shifts during that first period, and she could see how as the game progressed he became more comfortable. Before anyone knew it, second period was under way. Now they would be scoring on the goal the three sat behind. Sage cradled Salem on her hip as she wasn’t tall enough to see over the boards the action of the game. 
Her wedding ring glittering off the arena’s obnoxiously bright lights, casting tiny rainbows across the floor, as she held onto her daughter. Her daughter’s wide cerulean blue eyes captivated by the speed of the men whizzing around the large frozen sheet.  “Daddy! Daddy!” The young girl cheered as she caught her first glimpse of him, her long dark curls bouncing as she squirmed around.
He was back across the ice, then back in front of her again. His next shift he lead the puck, finding the back of the net past the Avalanche’s Georgiev. As he comes around the back of the net in a celly, he sees both, and cannot take his eyes off of them. 
His teammates flock around him, and he almost gets his ass slammed down to the ice because he gets run into. His only savior being Yanni Gourde and Adam Larson catching him. Even then he cannot seem to break the little trace he’s in. “If you’re watching this round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, you may have just witnessed Vince Dunn almost get taken out by teammates because something outside the rink, in the crowd is distracting him,” an announcer calls. 
No doubt that would be the hockey meme of the night, and for the weeks to follow. The Kraken social team was quick to use the gif made from it to post about taking the lead. 
@seattlekraken: “us when we realize we have the lead currently” 
Salem squeals again in excitement as she sees him smiling at her. She can hear the clicks of cameras sounding off around her as he smiles at them. Sage’s jersey proudly representing her last name of Dunn, and Salem’s with Daddy across the back and Vince’s number. He blows Salem a kiss and a sticking tongue out face, causing the previous reaction to repeat, before skating off. 
After winning the game, which gave the Kraken the lead in the series, the biggest question was asked during the interview, “what was that almost landing on your ass about?”
“Well, I-uh…I honestly didn’t expect to see my wife and our daughter standing there right behind the glass,” he smiled. “It definitely caught me off guard, in a good - I mean great way.” 
“So that was your daughter?” A report repeated. 
“Yes, my wife and daughter were here tonight. Now if you don’t mind, I would love to go see them, so please one final question.” He bounded off, in search of his favorite people. Adam had her outside the locker room, chatting and occasionally bouncing Sails up and down. 
“Daaadddyyy!” She screamed when she spotted him, taking off from everyone else. 
“Hey my little pumpkin!” He grabbed her kissing her cheek. “I see you came to Daddy’s work!” She nodded vigorously. 
“Come on you three, take a family picture!” Linds cheered, pushing Sage into her family. A few photos snapped of the little family.  “Glad you were able to not cause too much chaos tonight,” Sage teased Vince. “Even if you’re still leading in PIMs this season.” He jokingly goes to nip the tip of her nose in retaliation and Salem pushes his face. “Bad daddy. No bites!”
*New Instagram Post - posted photo series of Sage and Vince with Salem’s face not shown, back of her jersey is though* 
@vincedunn: “you could say I had my lucky charms in the building tonight”
Comment reply: @sagedunn: “yeah we know you mean @adamlarson 🙄” 
Reply: @vincedunn : “if I meant him then why are you sporting my last name on that jersey then? 😜😘” 
Reply: @sagedunn: “that’s because he’s forced to work with you” 
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sampersandman · 27 days
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[MetalInsider] a couple of the times recently Brendon has talked about the themes of Masculinity. I may add on to this as I recall stuff, because there is actually depth to the stupid dick jokes throughout the show and the movie, it’s just happens that he’s explicitly acknowledged that more recently
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where he’s basically talking about the scene where Nathan reconciles with the band and apologizes to Abigail, he’s literally reconnecting with them and consummating the relationship. But this theme is present in A LOT of the show, like I can’t stress enough how many times a dick joke doubles as some metaphor for their characterization. For instance, “Black Fire Upon Us” (the episode) has the alternate title “Dethrelease” because it followed Dethrecord, where they’ve finished it and now they’re trying to release the thing, But it’s also called Dethrelease because half of the episode is spent on the band (minus toki) trying to suck their own dicks. They’re interrupted by Toki being hurt and they talk to each other about how they’re not supposed to care about each other, go back to trying to suck themselves off (unsuccessfully) and throwing a release party (celebration of themselves) which gets cut short because mordhaus is attacked by the people who want revenge on Dethklok for how they’ve been hurt by the band’s selfishness. At that point they’re finally forced to be selfless but it’s too little too late and their manager is dead, and they can’t get their release. Going Downklok follows the same logic, with “going down” taking on 3 meanings. That scene in the movie becomes the final answer to it.
idk it’s just sad that there’s like 0 people around who actually want to talk about it because I’m pretty fascinated by the whole thing but I feel weird talking about this lol
especially for how long he’s been addressing it,
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October 2009 November 2009
Like he reflected on it in that month’s time and came back with that answer haha, but it stuck. back to another recent interview;
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I’ve considered it a lot and I think that with the movie there’s an overarching theme for all the characters where they have to confront their relationship with masculinity and what they consider femininity, in addition to what they literally call “gay” throughout the series (emotional investment and sincerity). In the show, their relationship with women and femininity is represented by their respective mothers. And in the movie, in order to finally mature, they have to embrace their “feminine sides” so to speak. Which is more or less the point of this line:
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what-even-is-thiss · 1 year
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I'm kind of fascinated by Ares/Mars as a character. Understandably he's not very well liked. Because he generally represents the undesirable parts of war. Bloodlust, fighting, terror, chaos.
But he's also a god of courage, and a god you want on your side when you go into a war. He also seems to respect women more than other Greek and Roman gods, generally. There's few direct references to him forcing himself on people that I've found. They exist, and many of the references to his lovers are vague so we can't be sure what the women thought of the situation so that should be kept in mind.
His daughters are often prominent in the myths, founding the Amazons and becoming various queens and notable warriors within that tribe. In fact, I'd wager his daughters often take a bigger space in our collective consciousness than his sons, Queen Hippolyta being among one of his most famous children. And he gives courage to his daughters in equal measure to his sons, giving one of his infant daughters the ability to suck milk from her dead mother and survive by force of will.
He's also surprisingly weak. He loses a boxing match against Hermes when they fought over a woman. He gets trapped in a jar for several months by giants. He isn't always on the winning side.
In the Orphic hymn 65 to Ares it says he is "pleased with war’s dreadful and tumultuous roar." but also, it asks him for peace. "Stay furious contests, and avenging strife, whose works with woe embitter human life;... for arms exchange the labours of the field; encourage peace, to gentle works inclined, and give abundance, with benignant mind."
Ares Mars is confusing. Like he's still an embodiment of some of the worst parts of war, but he gives power to the worthy regardless of gender, he's the one you go to to beg for peace, he's the one you go to for courage. Also, he's not indestructible. I think I get why the Romans smushed him together with a fertility god. You need land for agriculture. What's the only way to get more land in the ancient world? War. And Rome, above anything else, was into farming and war. Putting the two together isn't as illogical as you think.
I also always think off how Athena Minerva is almost universally loved even in the present day. But why? She's also a war god. She gets to sit in the tent seeing soldiers as chess pieces while Ares is on the field with them. Arguably she is just as responsible for carnage and woe as he is.
When death goes missing and the mortals are left to suffer through their wounds, never dying, it's Ares who notices. Not Athena. Not anyone else. He's also the one who does something about it and goes to save him.
Do I like Ares? No, not really. Like anyone else I don't particularly enjoy war. In fact, I wish it didn't exist. However, I do think that as a character he's way more complicated than he's often given credit for.
Also one of his sons is a literal dragon. Hell yeah.
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pinkomcranger · 3 months
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my thoughts on Saga Anderson and the lack of spotlight on her in fanworks
Hmmm…this has been bothering me since I waded into the fandom after AW2 dropped. WHY DOES 99.9% OF THE FANDOM SLEEP ON SAGA WHILE IT'S HALF HER GAME???
I DON'T understand the fixation on Casey (even though I adore him and he's the other half of my OTP), or Zane to the point that when Saga is in ensemble art, she's relegated to being the "bro". And for what purpose? She has just as much build up and storyline as Alan himself. She certainly has more screen time than FBI Casey. I see posts going "oh, I love Saga so much, she was so badass" and then almost nothing when it comes to fan work.
Do y'all understand, how, as a black woman, this frustrates me to NO end? I go to her tag on AO3, see new fics, get excited...just to see she's the bro or footnote to CaseyWake. I've literally been brought to TEARS over this. Saga was written with SO much love and care, and it's so obvious. She was not the stereotypical sassy, angry, loud black woman that we tend to get when we're even thought of at all.
And it's genuinely PAINFUL to see all of the love, all of that care, ALL OF THAT RESPECT, IGNORED by fandom because you want to focus on the white men. Because why? I get it, het is so icky for most of you, fine. But to not even give her fanart/fics just on her and her daughter? It's terribly egregious.
Saga Anderson is genuinely a role model. She's smart, warm, funny, dedicated, sympathetic and passionate. She will change REALITY just to save the ones she loves. She's NEVER had to deal with anything like the Bright Falls situation and she came through it with such GRACE. She saved the fucking day. She did what Alan couldn't do in THIRTEEN YEARS. And she gets no recognizance in fanworks?
And I know the majority of this fandom happens to be made up of women, at least for fanworks. You truly mean to tell me you can't, at all, even a little bit, relate to this woman? You can't make her the focus, instead of a background character? The white men are easier to understand and draw/write for?
I can't tell anyone who to like, or who to ship, nor would I ever try to, because on the internet, it seems like het is icky despite how amazing the woman is. But I've seen comments towards andercase fanart going "Saga, no, you're married!" But shipping CaseyWake in the same breath, despite Alan being married and getting back to his wife being the main motivation for Alan to do anything at all.
It comes off as hypocritical, it comes off a wee bit "I don't know what to do with this black woman...hmm, let's just make her root for CaseyWake" I'm left feeling that Sam and the team love Saga more than the fans ever do or will. And that fucking sucks. Because to put so much thought into a character and love the character, just to be ignored?
That hurts, really really badly. I genuinely enjoyed feeling like I was represented. I loved having a character I could relate to, one I could understand. But it feels like I'm in the minority. When she tells Alan he's not alone in this, this is THEIR story...well, that was the truth for me, and I wish others felt the same way.
I genuinely adore the works Saga has gotten that focus on her, and I see so much love and care put into them. It just somehow feels like fandom made this game into CaseyWake 24/7 and it's icky.
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sevensoulmates · 1 month
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I've never been more convinced then I ever have of Buddie canon and I think we're about to get Buddie canon confirmed in the bachelor party/wedding episode.
I think these 2 episodes, 4 and 5. One told through Buck's the other told through Eddie's are clearly telling a story of two separate queer journeys. One of acceptance(Buck) and the other of repression(Eddie).
I think this episode is going to end with Eddie doubling down on his relationship with Marisol because Buck being bisexual is going to draw feelings inside of Eddie that he is absolutely terrified to explore and he thinks that being with a woman is just going to make those feelings that are getting stronger and stronger for Buck go away, they won't.
Then in episode 6 which is the Bachelor Party/Wedding episode, as Ryan said Eddie is going to let go, have fun and see where it takes him. When Ryan said that I have never been more convinced that something is happening between Buck and Eddie after the bachelor party and it's going to be something very non platonic that will be the reveal that Buddie is canon.
I'm very much inclined to agree with you, especially about episode 4 being Buck's journey of accepting his queerness, and episode 5 being about Eddie's journey of repression. Buck and Eddie have always been narrative parallels on equal and opposite journeys, both heading for the same place but going about it through very different personal arcs.
Like I've said before, I think things are going to get worse for Eddie before they get better. And I think you're so right that episode 5 is going to be things "getting worse" because he's going to double down on Marisol. The more I've been hearing and sussing out with people, it seems like Marisol's sticking around past episode 5 (which sucks, I know! We were all hoping!) but I can see why that choice is being made because unfortunately if we want to explore Eddie's comp-het, then we need a woman around for him to be comp-het with! I think that's likely why they also switched up on Marisol's personal style this season and had her go from tomboyish in s6 to very femme in s7. They needed to represent her being a little bit more of the "perfect woman" for Eddie again a la Ana Flores. Especially in contrast with Buck and Tommy who are very masc-presenting men.
Most of the time when people talk about compulsory heterosexuality in an academic space they are always talking about women because comphet is inherently a byproduct of patriarchy and misogyny. But, as most of us are aware by now, patriarchy has deep-rooted harmful effects on men too. I can't claim to be anywhere near an expert but I would love to see it explored deeper with Eddie given that a lot of his story has also revolved around him deconstructing other aspects of toxic masculinity and hypermasculinity.
Like does Eddie really enjoy going out with Marisol? Or does he like the freeing feeling of being able to cuddle up with a woman in public and know that no one is judging?
There's a lot of academic theory that goes into compulsory heterosexuality but if you look at the "Am I a Lesbian? Masterdoc" and apply everything there to Eddie, it's almost point for point him.
Some examples:
[brackets] are me turning "men" to "women" from the original text for clarity
Deciding which [women] to be attracted to – not to date, but to be attracted to –based on how well they match a mental list of attractive qualities.
I like the idea of being with a [woman], but any time a [woman] makes a move on me I get incredibly uncomfortable.
I do not like the reality of being with [women], only the idea of being with [women].
I like the idea of marrying a [woman]/being in a relationship with a [woman], but I can always pick out a reason to not want to date any [woman] that is interested in me or any [woman] suggested to me
You view relationships with [women] as a chore, burden, or just something you must deal with.
Picking a [girl] at random to be attracted to
Choosing to be attracted to a [girl] at all, not just choosing to act on it but flipping your attraction on like a switch
the [girls] I like are always hyper [feminine] [girl's girls] who embody everything about [womanliness].
Only/mostly being attracted to unattainable, disinterested, or fictional [women] or [girls] you never or rarely interact with.
Reading your anxiety/discomfort/nervousness/combativeness around [women] as attraction to them. Confusing your anxiety around [women] for “butterflies” or being flustered.
Dreading what feels like an inevitable domestic future with a [woman]
You have every reason to be happy in your relationship with a [woman], but you just aren’t / everything is going really well, but something is missing and you can’t figure out what
Thinking you’re commitmentphobic because no relationship, no matter how great the [girl], feels quite right and you drag your feet when it comes time to escalate it
Going along with escalation because it seems like the ‘appropriate time’ or bc the [girl] wants it so bad, even if you personally aren’t quite ready to say I love you or have labels or move in together etc.
Or jumping ahead and trying to rush to the ‘comfortably settled’ part of relationships with [girls], trying to make a relationship a done deal without investing time into emotional closeness
Your relationships with [women] are devoid of passion.
Feeling like you have to have relationships with [women] and/or let them get serious in order to prove something, maybe something nebulous you can’t identify
Getting a [girl]friend mostly so other people know you have a [girl]friend and not really being interested in [her] romantically/sexually
Wishing your [girl]friend was more like your [male] friends
Worrying that you’re broken inside and unable to really love anyone
Having had people think you were gay when you had no suspicion you were gay
That got longer than I intended but I wanted it here anyway because it just proves (at least to me) that this is the story they're doing with Eddie. The only ones I didn't include were the parts about sex because other than Shannon we actually haven't seen how Eddie reacts in sexual moments with women.
As for the bachelor party/wedding, I do think a lot is going to happen there, and likely a lot of Buddie clues, big and small, but I still don't think anything physically intimate (kiss, hookup, etc) is going to happen. The only exception might be hand-holding, a hug or like a slow dance. Those I could see being plausible.
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