#he’s not gonna fight for his life against TAYLOR of all people oh my god

[kaseyskat]

why does everyone think normal would actually even TRY to hurt taylor like this boy literally just had an entire episode where he became convinced that he was right and his friends don’t care about him AND he just was reminded that it’s kinda his dads fault that taylor didn’t get to have a dad in his life you really think norm isn’t fully prepared to step down and let taylor win he literally said he only wanted to rule hell because it sounded angsty and he’s being angsty why would he get violent about it 😭😭😭😭😭

#dndads #dndads spoilers #i’ve seen several people say this now and i’m so confused like #normal was only enraged to the point of violence against a friend (scary) because she set his HOUSE ON FIRE #he only went into a typical oak rage when he just watched terry jr die in front of him! #normal does give into the family anger but it makes him snappy not violent why do y’all think he’d hurt taylor #HES NOT EVEN MAD AT TAYLOR #i get wanting self sacrificial taylor angst but y’all 😭😭😭 #taylor just reconnected with his dad and grandfather and found out his other grandfather is in chains i think he’s a bit more motivated #and normal is already on the self sacrificial bullshit anyways! he thinks they don’t care about him #he’s not gonna fight for his life against TAYLOR of all people oh my god #sorry for the rant i’m just???? that’s not normals character at all #in fact it’s far more likely that he’s gonna magic bullshit his way through the fight instead

[my-boy-squiggle-roy]

hello my fucked-up lovelies. here’s my pre-watch masterpost of osmosis knowledge so you have the most entertaining comprehension of my Live Cyrus Reaction 🫡

what the fuck is a succession

so like there’s The Roy’s and they’re Business People (the children by force probably) and their dad is the Main Bitch of the company who is inevitably gonna go six feet under (in light of… recent events HSHDJDJ) and so the siblings are fighting for their goddamn lives to be his Successor. I Think. and the whole family dynamic is super fucked and manipulative and their father is abusive as hell and the siblings know deep down that all they have is each other in the face of this asshole who has pinned their lives against one another for the sake of his own. probably. idk i’ve treaded into speculation so back on track. business family. there’s gonna be a successor. that’s all i really know plot-wise

Characters

these are the bitches i know exist by name. if there’s a main character on here i didn’t list, it’s because i do not know them as part of The Crew yet. here’s what i know about them.

Kendall Roy

not beating the bojack horseman allegations (almost killed himself in a pool and has substance abuse issues i think)

his boy squiggle cooked up some sick beats

i think he might be the oldest of the siblings?

he’s just Ken (i think he goes by Ken mostly and not Kendall)

seems exhausted as hell and on his last thread

Shiv Roy

uh hi for the love of god hello twirls hair around finger

probably gaslights gatekeeps girlbosses

like i don’t really keep up with taylor swift but i feel like there’s a lot of edits of her to The Man

married to some guy

i feel like i vaguely remember hearing that her sex life sucked with some guy

very clean cut no bullshit type of person and like she probably has to try twice as hard as her brothers for recognition but idk maybe logan believes in equality and hates them just as much

Roman Roy

sent a dick pic to his dad during a business meeting

am i imagining him being called a pathetic little worm for subconscious personal reasons or did that happen

says the most out of pocket shit in the whole show i think

is regularly called derogatory gay terms (of course by myself but also the actual characters i think)

has hella sexual trauma

was physically abused by logan

girl. the inferiority complex in this mf.

just a complete little shit

Logan Roy

primary source of trauma

just your typical like. old white man capitalistic bitch but there’s no charisma or anything he’s just There

well. he was there.

Tom

apparently he is that Some Guy that shiv married i genuinely only knew him as some weird abusive homosexual counterpart to greg until a few days ago

that’s literally all i’ve got

oh he also works at The Business

Greg

i literally have no clue what this man’s deal is but i’m so intrigued by his expressions he looks like an italian greyhound

he’s really fucking tall so scenes with him and other people in it have to be shot a certain way which is so fucking funny

he comes as an accessory with tom idk

can say with a decent amount of confidence that i don’t think he’s a super bright character intelligence-wise

also works at The Business

Connor (Roy?)

cousin to the siblings

he’s like overlooked a shit ton by logan bc he’s not like. a Real Roy i don’t fucking know

apparently got married recently. good for him. (unless a certain event uh interrupted the completion of that marriage)

i don’t think i know anything else whatsoever

Gerri

i’ve been told she exists

alright! now you’ve obtained my succession headspace and are set to laugh at my naïveté. go forth 🫡

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

#this is only like half of it #but at least you can get like a few answers #yanno fuck it #bataranswers #ask #asks #anon

[mrsamaroevans]

YOU ALL OVER ME | ANGEL REYES

Fandom: Mayans M.C.

Pairing: Angel Reyes x the consequences of his bad decisions with Female Reader.

Words: 3,673.

Warnings: Sad and like a bad word. English is not my first language, so, sorry if there are grammar mistakes or if the redaction is poor.

A/N: This is the first thing I finish like in ages! This was not requested but I couldn’t stop listening to You All Over Me by Taylor and this came out. Thank you so much for reading, feedback is well received. *Gif is not mine*

|| MY MASTERLIST ||

“The best and worst day of June was the one that I met you, with your hands in your pockets and your ‘don't you wish you had me’ grin. But I did, so I smiled”

Santo Padre Regional High School.

Those were the words that you read before crossing the door with your mother. You had only one week in Santo Padre and you still had time before the school year begins, but she wanted to have all that ready as soon as possible.

While your mother was making all the paperwork, you were waiting on a bench outside of the office until you got bored. As no one could stop you, you decided to walk around for the facilities of what soon would be your new school. It was smaller than the school you used to go to before moving across the country, but it was okay. Classrooms were big enough, lockers a bit smaller y the patios were open and surrounded by green areas. You weren’t too disgusted about changing school again anymore.

Near the cafetería, was a mural with pictures of the different extracurricular classes and the people who were part of them. The cheerleader’s team looked too pretentious. You hated that cliché, but it was what you felt by just looking at the picture, you could be wrong though. The theatre team looked cool, maybe you’d join them. Then, was the football team.

Guys that looked bigger than what a sixteen-year-old guy should be. One of them proudly carried a big trophy. He had to be the leader, it always is. What was the position they had? You didn’t know, you weren’t too familiar with the terms of the sport.

But that guy in specific caught your attention. It wasn’t because of the trophy he had in his hands or what that meant. He had a beautiful smile, but for some reason, it didn’t look sincere. There was something in his eyes that kept you looking at him. All of him looked happy and proud, but there was something more. Unfortunately, if someone asked you what it was, you wouldn’t know how to explain it. But there was something there.

“You’re new?”

You gave a little jump at the unexpected voice on your side. You turned to your right and you saw him again. The same guy with the trophy in the picture, now in real size at your side.

“I’m gonna be” you nodded and looked back at the mural to see the rest of the teams.

“And, you like what you see?”

That flirty tone in his voice almost made you laugh. You turned to him again and saw that he had a smile that combined with the tone of voice he used and with the question he had made. His hands in his pockets, making his biceps more notorious.

“A little bit, yeah,” you said, willing to not let him intimidate you. And the truth was that you really liked what you were seeing “You are on summer break, right? What are you doing here?”

“I’m gonna do an exam,” he said like he didn’t want to talk much about it, but you didn’t realize it.

“You’re still on finals?” You asked, confused. The first time you noticed in your route was that there were no students or teachers.

“Oh, no… it’s an extraordinary exam. Chemistry” The guy answered as he didn’t care too much that he failed a class. You didn’t know what would be your situation at home if you were in his place.

“So, you’re not good with chemistry, then”

“It all depends on the situation” he smiled.

You kept his gaze for a few seconds. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction to know that the first guy that got close to you in that city had made you shy. But the visual contact didn’t last too long, ‘cause you had to look at the ground for a second.

“What did you say your name was?” You asked, looking back at his face. He had beautiful brown eyes, but you were afraid that if you look at them for too long, he could know all your secrets.

“Angel,” he said and he looked so calm that that frustrated you even more.

“And I’m sure you’re not one”

Angel devilishly grinned and you felt your knees going a little weak. How a guy that you didn’t even know could have that power on you?

“What’s your name?” He asked and when you were about to answer, your phone rang so you lifted your index finger at him to ask for a moment. You took your mother’s call and the first thing she asked was:

“Where did you go?”

“I’m just walking around,” You told her calmly. You felt kinda sad when she told you that you needed to go to the office to sign the institutional regulation. That meant that your conversation with Angel came to an end “Okay... coming” you end the call and as you were placing your phone back into your pocket, you said: “I have to go”

You looked at him for the last time and started to make your way to the office, but you didn’t even give five steps when he spoke again.

“Hey!” He shouted making you turn back to him “You didn’t tell me your name”

“(Y/n)” you smiled and turned around to the way you had ahead.

“I lived, and I learned. Had you, got burned. Held out, and held on, God knows”

All the effort for the first date. The first kiss. The first ‘I love you.' The first time you made love. That day you met his parents and they adopted you into their family right away. All the double dates with his brother and girlfriend. The fairs and festivals. The football matches in which you were the one screaming louder than anyone whenever they made a score. His better grades. The jealousy from both sides. The fights because of the cheerleaders. All those break-ups and comebacks. Those days at the beach. The laughs. The tears. The good and the bad had gone and all because of his insecurities.

How did that happen? With three pictures someone left in your locker.

“What the hell, Angel?” Was the first thing you asked when you confronted him after school.

He saw the pictures and shrugged “You need me to explain it?” Those words had hit you too hard like never before a question had made. Your heart was breaking and it looked like he didn’t care even a little.

“What’s wrong with you?” You asked, not understanding that attitude towards you. He had never talked to you like that.

“Nothing, you’re the one who wants to fight,” He said, turning around to walk to the small desk beside his bed.

“I received pictures of you sleeping with Haley, what were you expecting?” You got close and threw the pictures at his back, they hit him and then fell to the floor. Angel barely looked at them and chuckled.

“It’s not so bad,” he said, turning to you.

“That it’s not so…?” You laughed at what you heard. Angel was a bit distant weeks before you had to go to college to finish your registration, but you never thought something like that could happen “It has to be a joke”

“You left for a week and I had physiology needs”

“Fucking jerk!” You shouted and couldn’t help but push him making him crashed against his desk. Some brushes fell to the floor and the tears in your eyes started to gather. You didn’t want him to see you crying, so you decided it was time to go.

“Everyone told you that but you didn’t want to see it” he aggressively said.

“Well, you got it” you turned to him and shrugged “Another broken heart… you smashed it” your voice trembled with the last words. That seemed to affect him because his hard expression softened for a second “I hope you’re happy”

But Angel wasn’t even close to being happy.

Once you left his room, he sat on the floor and saw the pictures. He ripped them apart while the tears fell from his cheeks. He hated himself.

He was a coward. He couldn’t break up with you, but he couldn’t let you stay with him. You had plans that he didn’t. Your vision of the future didn’t fit with his, and it was because he didn’t have one. He didn’t have plans like you, he wanted to go and take anything that comes his way. You had ambition, you had a plan to make your dreams come true, and him? He didn’t have anything.

To his eyes, you didn’t deserve someone like him.

“I lived, and I learned, and found out what it was to turn around and see, that we were never really meant to be”

Years went by and life changed.

Angel went through something he thought he never would. His mother has ripped away from their lives and that had been a hard blew for him. His little brother was sent to prison y couldn’t help but feel responsible because he made his way to get a gun easier. Ezekiel told him it was for mere protection, but deep down he knew his brother wanted retaliation.

And that made him get life imprisonment for the homicide of a cop.

His relationship with his father became tenser than what already was. But, after all that he had lost, he found a shelter. The club. Mayans MC. Those men went from simple mates to family too quickly.

He had heard from his father that you came back to the city. By that moment you were already done with college and your parents had been —finally— established in Santo Padre. You told him once, that you had fallen in love with the city and that, definitely, you could see your future there. So, when Felipe said that, he didn’t doubt in believing him.

But knowing you came back and seeing you had been so different for him.

He was on his way to the scrapyard in his bike with Coco and Gilly at both of his sides, but they had to stop for gas. Coco was saying something about how much he hated the hot weather and the incensement in the price of gas when a silver jeep parked in the pump in front of his.

Three doors opened. From the driver’s one jumped off a man with braids and sunglasses; he went directly to the pump. From one of the backseats door, as beautiful as he remembered, you went out.

He saw how you fixed your dress and laugh at something someone told you. You were fanning your face with your hands, a sign that you were hot. Then, a couple of seconds later, you took your hair and tied it in a messy bun. The hot air of Santo Padre in summer was excessive.

“We should have closed the windows and put the air conditioner” Angel heard a masculine voice and then he heard your laugh.

“You know that the combination of air conditioner and this weather make me sick, honey”

Honey. Angel hadn’t forgotten how that word sounded coming from your lips, but hearing you say it to another man broke his heart.

A man in a suit that looked to be more expensive than all of the boots Angel had, walked to you. He had a smile when he kissed you and even though he didn’t want to keep watching, for some unknown reason he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

“That last house’s not a sign to desist in looking for our home here,” the man told you, taking your hands “We’re gonna find the perfect house or the perfect place to build it”

“I know,” you said and nodded. Your left hand touched his cheek and that was when Angel turned to his bike. The sunrays helped to the gleam of the giant diamond in your finger to not being unnoticed by him.

You were engaged, and you and your fiancé were looking for a house, which meant it wouldn’t take long for you to marry.

“You okay?” Coco asked him. He was pale and it seemed he could faint at any moment. But Angel didn’t answer, he turned to the jeep when the doors got closed instead.

The driver started the engine and that was when your gaze stopped in him.

You looked fine. You looked happy. When your eyes connected with his, you didn’t seem surprised or hurt, or shocked. In fact, he couldn’t decipher what he saw in your eyes.

“You know her?” Gilly asked.

“I used to,” Angel said when he found his voice which wasn’t quickly.

And even though he was hurt for letting you go in the way he did, when he saw you he realized that he had made the right decision. ‘Cause you belong to the world that man in the expensive suit could give you. It was too painful though, to find out —again— that he never really had a chance like that with you.

That night, he required the services of Vicky’s girls and after that, Coco had to drive him to his apartment ‘cause he couldn’t even walk for all the alcohol he drank to cope with the pain.

“So I lied, and I cried, and I watched a part of myself die”

Days after and thanks to el Padrino, he knew who your fiancé was. His name was Miguel Galindo and he was the son of José Galindo, founder of one the most powerful and deadliest cartels in the México-USA border. He also knew that your wedding was set to be in October and that would be in three months.

That day in the gas station wasn’t the last time he saw you. He had seen you in the mall with the first friend you made in Santo Padre. You met in the market and it had been so uncomfortable. There were a lot of people and you had to walk by too close to each other. He also saw you going out of a restaurant with Miguel at your side and once and then you two were in the paper news for going to charity events.

It didn’t matter how many times he saw you at the side of another man, he could never get use to it.

“I know you didn’t want to talk about it at the moment, but… why did you break up?” Felipe asked him. He didn’t more information to know what he meant. Angel had a couple of days going to his parents' house and Felipe knew why.

You had been there on so many occasions and Angel still couldn’t get over you.

“I cheated on her” Angel said “I slept with one of the cheerleaders and I made sure to have evidence. Evidence that I left in her locker”

Felipe sighed and shook his head no “We didn’t raise you like that, Angel”

“I know that” he sounded irritated “But I needed to push her away from me so she could get all the goals she had in life… and it turned out fine. She’s so much better now”

“Did you apologize to her?” His father questioned, hoping to get a positive answer, but when Angel remained silent, he got the answer he didn’t want “You have to do it, Angel. She was and is a great woman, she didn’t deserve that. But at least do it for your mother” Angel turned to his father. There were tears in his eyes at the mention of her “Your mother loved that kid, and she always taught you to apologize when you did something wrong”

Angel nodded and took his gaze up to the ceiling, promising his mother that he would apologize next time he sees you.

A month went by to see you again. A Friday, his father had asked him for help at the butcher shop, so he went out of the clubhouse and when he arrived at the shop, he saw a jeep parked outside and a man waiting by the backseat’s door. For the glass of the shop, he saw his father talking to you. You were smiling and later, your exit coincided with his entrance.

“Sorry,” you said with a small smile and thanked him when Angel stepped aside to let you walk out.

Angel looked at his father and the expression on his face said “Go” so he just nodded got out of the shop.

“Hey, (y/n)” his voice went out less determined than what he wanted, but it worked out to have your attention. The driver had already opened the door for you, but you still turned to him “Can we talk?”

“Uh… I don’t see why” you said.

“Please…” Angel insisted, feeling nervous for the first time in too long.

“Fine” you nodded and made a sign to your driver for him to wait. He took the butcher bag and went to the trunk “What happens?” You asked, giving a few steps towards him.

Angel pointed at the table so you could sit with him, and you did.

“I never apologized for what I did to you,” he said after a few seconds of silence. He saw you sighing and shaking your head.

“Angel…” you began to say, but he interrupted you.

“No, wait… I’m sorry. I truly am and I was in that moment too” he accepted, taking you by surprise ‘cause that day you didn’t see any repentance in him “I was a jerk, you didn’t deserve that and I’m so sorry”

You didn’t know what to say for a moment. Clearly, you had gotten over what happened, but, talking about it only took you to all the pain you felt and the depression you fell into that lasted more than you would have liked.

“Well, thank you for your apologies. I accept them” you finally said and Angel looked relieved with those words “But, don’t worry anymore… it’s been some years and we got over it, right?” You asked with a small smile on your face.

“Yeah…” Angel lied “I think it turned out fine for both of us”

“Yes, everything’s fine now” you repeated “And, well… we’re going to find once and then, the city is too small. Is good that it won’t be uncomfortable next time we cross paths” you smiled once more and stood up “I have to go” Angel accepted that and even though he wanted to make you stay a little bit longer. You stopped and turned to him by yourself “Angel?”

Angel looked up to you, you were closer than what he thought you would “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry about your mom,” you said pressing your lips together. When that happened, you called Felipe and Ez and talked to them, but you didn’t dare to talk to Angel.

“Thanks for the flowers” you shook your head no. You sent those flowers because you were in pain for what happened too, not because you wanted to look good before them or for them to thank you afterward.

“I loved her. She was amazing”

Angel smiled, remembering the times when his mother had told him that you were the one and that she would love to have you as a daughter-in-law “She loved you, too. She loved you so much” he admitted.

You smiled and did something that took him by surprise: you hugged him.

Angel reacted in time to hug you back, he did it tighter though, like he didn’t want to let you go again, and the truth was that he didn’t want to.

“Bye,” you said when you got apart, but he couldn’t say anything back. He just looked how you got in the car and how the jeep went away from the shop as he held on to those five seconds that the hug lasted.

The days kept on going until they became weeks and October arrived quicker than Angel imagined. El Padrino was invited to the wedding ‘cause he had been close to your future late father-in-law, so Miguel appreciated him.

Angel had promised himself he wouldn’t go. Being there and see you taking someone else’s name wouldn’t help in anything, but couldn’t contain from doing it. A few minutes after seven p.m, he drove to the church and waited outside. He was in a spot in which people couldn’t see him, but he would see when they go out. In his hands, he had a strip with black and white pictures from one of those machines at fairs. Those were the only pictures he kept after you broke up with him.

In the first one, you were only smiling. In the second, he was kissing you and in the third, you were smiling and showing your left hand in which you had a candy ring that Angel bought for you.

At 7:45 people started to leave the church and it didn’t take too long for you and your now-husband to go out. You looked beautiful. Your smile could light up the whole country, and, the man at your side looked happy too. He should be. Marry you should be enough reasons to be the happiest and luckiest man on the planet.

A tear fell when your husband cupped your face and kissed you. It didn’t matter how happy you looked, Angel couldn’t help but wish to be him taking your hand at that moment. He looked down at the pictures and sighed. He left them in the tree trunk that was being used as his hiding spot and turned to you, one last time.

He still loved you like the first day and he couldn’t deny it, and also couldn’t hide it. He was hoping to find you in another life to make things right.

“Cause no amount of freedom gets you clean. I’ve still got you all over me”

|| MY MASTERLIST ||

#angel reyes #angel reyes drabble #angel reyes x reader #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes fanfic #angel reyes gif #Mayans MC #mayans mc x reader #mayans mc fanfiction #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc fic #miguel galindo #miguel galindo x reader #miguel galindo x oc #miguel galindo fanfiction #miguel galindo imagine #fanfic #fanfiction

[thewalkingdead-imagines]

Negan Imagine ~ “Exile”

Summary: After months of surviving the apocalypse together in the wilderness and finally taking the next step in their relationship, the Reader wakes up to find Negan gone, only a note of him left...

Request: Imagine inspired by “Exile” by Taylor Swift (lyrics can be found at the end!) Enjoy!

Night was slowly but surely falling over the campsite, only the flickering light of the campfire nearby enlightening the darkness. From afar, you could see the guard sitting at the flames, poking into the coal while some more sparks flew into the air, lightning up for a moment until they melted into one with the dark. You shifted over the makeshift bed in the large car that served as your bedroom for now, cuddling into the couple pillows you’d been able to get a hold on in the cabin, where some of the others were sleeping. It had been about three days since this place was your newest home, equipped with the small cabin by a calm river, some abandoned cars, overgrown beets that must’ve once been used for vegetables and an old but functioning outdoor shower that only an hour ago splattered clear water onto your skin and had reminded you of those little daily luxuries from before that you were truly missing. A rustling sound echoed through the night, loud enough for your instincts to kick in and let you jolt up, just to see a tall figure rounding the car, his silhouette enlightening for a moment in the warm light of the camp fire before he got to the lid of the car. A click sounded through the air before the lid slowly opened and Negan glimpsed right at you, a grin spreading over his face while his still slightly wet hair was falling into his face. “Welcome back to our luxurious suite”, you chuckled as you shuffled a little to the side, making enough room for him to crawl inside. “Good to be back”, he grinned with a wink as he climbed into the car, closing the lid behind him before he moved to your side. “Oh this is so fuckin’ comfy”, Negan groaned as he let himself fall next to you into the sheets, sleepily grinning at you as he cuddled into one of the pillows „Mhmm“, you mumbled, moving to lay on your side to face him in the dim light,“You think we can stay here a little longer?“ “I hope so, I’m digging that shower!”, he laughed, grasping the edge of the large blanket that was hugging you to tuck himself in as well. “Me too”, you mumbled with a chuckle as a wider grin formed on Negan’s lips. “Yeah I could tell, you took forever”, he said, tease swinging through his deep voice, provoking you just enough to shove his chest playfully. “Wow, says the right guy”, you laughed, grinning at him while he moved to take your hand that had just landed on his body into his hand to give it a small squeeze, ”how long have you just been there?” He just shook his head, still keeping your hand in his, enough to let a wave of warmth wash over you before a good bit of roguishness started to mix into his glance.“Y’know to save some water we could just shower together next time.” “Oh god”, you called out with a groan, a laugh rumbling through you as you glimpsed at him,”Your pick up lines have been more creative before, that’s some fuckboy shit.” “‘Cause that was no pick up line that was a serious offer!”, he defended himself, though the grin he was temporarily trying to suppress kept tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Sure”, you snickered with a nod, still feeling how the warmth was lulling you more in the longer he held onto you. “You should come here”, Negan mumbled as he tugged softly on you hand and glimpsed at the spot right next to him with another grin,”Unless you wanna hop under the shower together after all.” “Guess Martin’s there now, bet he wouldn’t find that so funny”, you responded with a chuckle, trying to keep the heat that was rushing into your body as well as your mind under control that would be too happy to imagine Negan under the shower now, while you scooted over to him into your usual sleeping spot. “Oh he’d get one hell of a show, can’t imagine he’d complain about that”, Negan rasped against your skin as soon as you cuddled against him, feeling him wrapping his arms around you and giving your waist a soft but teasing squeeze. You chuckled once more, part of you trying to cover up how much effect his voice and his words had on you while you hooked your leg over his hip, cuddling a little closer to his side while a deep, content growl tumbled through Negan’s chest. It took seconds for this warm, comfy feeling to set in, allowing you to feel safe  right there in his arms. He had that ability to make you feel safe like no other and you couldn’t even pinpoint why, he just needed to put his arms around you and you felt safe, just like now, even though you were sleeping in a car in the middle of the woods. You’d known when he’d joined the groups nearly a half year ago that he surely was someone special, with that very specific kind of humor and the colorful language of his but you hadn’t thought that he’d become to you what he was now; one of the very most important people to ever step into your life. You’d barely been able to open up to anyone after losing all your loved ones right at the start of the shit show, after having to helplessly see them being torn apart, but Negan had been able to help you get some of the parts back you’d thought you’d lost forever. You could trust again, you could belly laugh again, you could truly bond again and feel pure happiness stream through your body. He’d become your homeland, your best friend, your very own safe haven and you knew that you were his too. You could feel Negan pressing a soft kiss against your temple, letting a warm wave wash over your back while you leaned a little into his touch, enjoying the softness of his lips and the roughness of his stubbly beard. That’s how far you’d gone until now, cuddling, teasing and kisses to your forehead. You wanted more, fuck you wanted way more but there was a small part of you that had told you to go slow for the longest time, though it was becoming smaller and smaller with each touch of Negan and by now, it was barely existent anymore.  You moved in, feeling how Negan’s hand grasped yours and caressed it softly, taking it fully into his as your eyes dropped down to the back of his hand and his knuckles where small, nearly faded scars, that had been boasting wounds months ago covered his skin.  “They’re almost gone”, you mumbled, gently rubbing your thumb over the light scars remembering the night he got them vividly. It was shortly after he had joined and while you’d felt drawn to him from the beginning, this night had given you a first true possibility to feel safe with someone again.  It had stormed so badly back then, leaving your group running through the dark forest in hope to find shelter from the dead and the forces of nature. You could still remember being split off with Negan from the rest as a group of walkers approached, could see yourself tripping in the dark, wet underwood on a hillside that left you tumbling down to its foot, with sprained ankles that didn’t allow you to run from the dead. He’d stayed with you, even though he’d barely known you at this point, knowing very well that he’d had to fight the dead alone if he wouldn’t leave you, and risk his own life. He’d killed them all, one by one with his bat that was all wet from the rain that let it slip more than just once in his hands, slitting parts of his hands with the barbed wire that was covering it, leaving his knuckles bloody. He hadn’t stopped once, hadn’t attempted to flee once and leave you alone regardless of how risky it got and once they were all laying dead on the muddy ground, he’d propped you and helped the both of you get back to the rest.  You sure had to deal with the sprained ankles for longer than you liked and the agony they had given you had been a pain in the ass, but besides that, this night had given you the chance to finally feel like you could fully start to count on someone again and be sure that they wouldn’t leave you, regardless of how tricky the situation got. Negan was there, he’d always been there after that night, growing your trust until the both of you were as good as inseparable.  “Hmm”, you could hear him mumble, squeezing your hand softly back while you still glimpsed at his large hand around yours.  “Y’know I know you can take care of yourself“, he started, keeping your hand in his as he spoke back up, ”But hell, if another situation like that would come up, I’d do it all over again. Even if those damn scars wouldn’t fade”, He mumbled, just before another chuckle left his lips “I guess they actually make me look like the dangerous motherfucker I am huh?“ „Very dangerous“, you laughed, though a wide smile was pressing into the corners of your lips while you moved a little up, enough to glimpse at him in the dim light. “I meant it though“,he said, moving his hand from yours to stroke some loose strands of your hair back while some more heat began to rise in your body the longer his eyes stayed fixed on yours, a smirk growing on his face once more,“Always gonna be there, ready to fuck anybody up who wants to mess with my girl.“ “I know”, you mumbled, trying to not show too much what these last two words were doing to you when they slipped out of his lips,”I’m always gonna be there for you too. We’re a team.“ Negan nodded slowly, his fingers still caressing slightly through your hair while the small grin stayed stuck on his lips. "We‘re gettin‘ sappy now, huh?“, he grinned, a rough laugh falling from his lips while you could tell that your body was responding more and more to his touch, to the feeling of his body pressing against yours and the feelings of how his rough fingertips stroke slowly through your hair.  „I don’t mind it“, you mumbled, your eyes still staying fixed on his as his hand moved down to caress his thumb along your jaw before it traveled to the back of your neck, curling his palm around it while his fingertips kept circling over your skin. Slowly but surely he started to let your heart pump faster as nearly instinctively your hand started to move from the spot on his warm chest up to his jaw, almost mirroring his movements earlier as your fingertips teased over the short salt and pepper stubble.  You could feel yourself holding your breath as both of your gazes were fixed on one another and the tension that had lingered for the longest between you started to sky rocket. Your body started to tingle, the longing of more of him started to become even stronger as his eyes started to drop to your lips, letting your heart jump as you could feel him putting a gentle pressure onto the back of your neck, careful and just enough to slowly guide you down to him. You let him, moved almost instinctively closer as his warm breath started to softly hit your skin, giving you the feeling that right now, right here was the perfect time to finally take things further. Your mind shut down, handing you over to your instincts and the longing within you as you closed your eyes and could finally feel Negan’s lips brushing against yours, soft at first, as if part of him was trying to make sure that you were fully on board.  And like hell you were.  You hummed into him as you first felt his lips against yours, their softness combining perfectly with the roughness of his stubbly beard while heat streamed through your body, allowing you to dive deeper into the beautiful trance Negan’s lips were putting you into. He groaned against you as his kisses grew hungrier, going from soft and careful to longing and more demanding while you moved closer, caressing your fingers over his jaw. He was leading you, taking all possible insecurities away as he was kissing you loving and rough at the very same time intensifying the excited tingle all over your body until you were out of breath. You were shivering, laying still half on top of him as your foreheads rested against one another, trying to catch your breath again while Negan’s fingers still caressed over your skin and you still couldn’t fully believe what had happened. “Shit, I’ve wanted to do this for so long”, Negan mumbled still heavily breathing against your skin as soon as he got his speech back, already slowly pulling you back down to him, enough to caress his lips over yours again, hungrier with every passing second. You immediately melted back against him as he kept you in this little bubble of happiness and tightened his embrace while he slowly started to roll you on your back, underneath him. You hummed as soon as you felt his weight pressing in on you, felt his hand moving to your jaw, his thumb brushing over your cheek while your fingers entangled in his dark curls. You were filled with pure happiness, felt so unbelievable comfortable and excited while his caresses felt so new and familiar at the very same time.  For a second, Negan’s lips left yours, still hovering over them as the urge within you moved up to get some more of his intoxicating kisses. “Someone wants some more”, Negan groaned against your lips as you let out a chuckle. “Mhmm”, you mumbled, already feeling his lips pressing against yours again as you let out another hum,”Is that bad?” “You’re kidding me? It’s the fuckin’ opposite of bad”, he halted for a moment, moving away just enough to glimpse roguishly at you, licking his lips before he winked at you. “Looks like my pick up lines worked after all, Sweetheart”, he chuckled, squeezing your waist teasingly,”Creative or not.” “Oh don’t get too cocky”, you mumbled back, shaking your head with a small laugh as you leaned back in, a bit more confident now as Negan dipped his head back down to you and met your lips with another kiss. Just then you fully understood that this was real, that you were actually kissing Negan, that this wasn’t a dream. As soon as you felt his lips back on yours you allowed him to wrap you up in his scent and touch while you let yourself completely fall, more and more with each kiss. You were in love with him, there really was no way to deny it anymore. You were utterly and deeply in love with him and all these kisses only made you realize it more and more with each further touch.  You stayed like this, entangled with one another, kissing and relishing in each other, releasing all the tension that had build up during this whole last time until you found yourself wrapped up in his arms, with his lips brushing against your forehead and his fingers caressing over your skin. You could barely think of any other moment you’d felt so at ease and happy, almost overwhelmed with positive emotions that kept you in some kind of hazy high. And slowly, you started to fall asleep in his arms, cozied up to him and relaxed, as if you weren’t laying in the back of a car in the middle of the woods but the safest place on earth.

Your sleep was calm and deep as it could be until Negan’s softly shifting body started to wake you up, feeling the tension that was laying over him that was usually only present when yet another nightmare had struck either of you. You shifted a bit, still half asleep as you slowly opened your eyes and could hear him letting out a tense breath. “You’re okay?”, you mumbled drowsily, cuddling a little closer up to him while a small yawn slipped out of your lips. “Yeah”, he mumbled, nodding slowly before he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead,”Just woke up for a moment.” “Nightmare again?”, you asked, glimpsing a little up at him as you could feel him shaking his head a little. “Nah, not this time”,his drowsy voice mumbled back before he brushed his lips against your skin again and pulled you a little closer ,”It’s all good, bet I’m gonna fall right back asleep. Just need ya to c’mere” “Alright, that’s doable”, you mumbled with a small, sleepy chuckle back, leaning a little in to press a kiss against his stubbly jaw before you nuzzled your nose back into the warm curve of his neck, and huddling closer up to him. “Sleep tight, Sweetheart”, you heard him mumble lowly, his warmth and scent already getting you back to this comfy bubble that allowed the sleep to slowly wash back over you. For another moment, you waited, assuring yourself that he didn’t have something to talk about after all before you could feel him smoothing your body against his once more, while let your hand caress softly over the center of his broad chest, figuring that simply staying cuddled up to him would be the best way to help him right now. “You too”, you only mumbled then, your voice a bit muffled as you got lulled into the comforting darkness of sleep, little by little until it had fully wrapped itself around you and pulled you into its depths. 

Soft sunlight was falling through the windows of the car as you started to drift out of your sleep, shifting uncomfortably over the sheets, irritated by the lack of Negan’s warmth around you. Tensing your brows confusedly you opened your eyes, slowly getting used to the early morning light while a yawn left your lips. “Negan?”, you mumbled drowsily, still not completely conscious as your sleepy glance started to search for him only to find yourself alone in the car. Grumbling irritatedly to yourself you slowly started to sit up, glimpsed around you and outside of the car, spotting part of your group, about four of the others, who were already sitting around the now extinguished campfire, eating some breakfast while the rest was likely still sleeping in the tents and the cabin. Negan wasn’t among them, which just let you assume that he’d simply made a trip to the makeshift-bathroom and had tried to not wake you up in the process. Shrugging and guessing that he was likely about to come back to you in a little you rubbed your eyes and let yourself sink back into the pillows, deciding to get some more sleep as long as you had the chance before your eyes caught a small piece of folded paper laying on his side of the mattress. Furrowing your brows confusedly you reached towards the sheet, grabbing it as another yawn slipped out of your lips. You folded it open, not thinking much of it before your eyes wandered over the words in its middle, and from one moment to another, those words turned your world upside down.

I’m sorry, I really am But it’s better like this, believe me You’re better off this way

Nausea flooded your body, tightening your ribcage and throat, cutting off your breath as you stared at the sentences and felt an unbearable ache traveling down your arms, letting you shake vehemently as soon as you started to realize what was happening. He was gone. Negan was gone. He had left you.  For just another moment you hoped that this was a bad joke, that he would pop up by the car and yell that he was just joking but as you started to tremble harder and looked panicked around the car, you found all his stuff missing, from his beloved bat to his backpack. He was gone. ”No, no...”, you mumbled shaking to yourself, grabbing the paper tighter as the lump in your throat grew bigger, forcing you to wince while only the shock that was stuck in you kept you from breaking out in tears. You started to read his words over and over again, found your glance swaying to the other parts of the paper that had been written onto but had been completely blacked out by uncountable black pen lines, only leaving his final version plastered in the middle. You couldn’t understand what was going on.  You couldn’t get it.  He’d kissed you last night. Everything had been as perfect as it could be. You’d been happy, right? He couldn’t be gone. He just couldn’t.  You both were too close for him to just leave you out of the blue, vanish without any explanation and force you to never be able to see him again. He was your closest confidant, your best friend, the man you’d fallen for, and you’d thought that he felt the same about you. He wouldn’t do this to you, right? He knew how scared you were of losing someone else close to you, he knew how afraid you were of being abandoned. He wouldn’t do this to you, right? But he wasn’t here to prove it, instead, everything around you in these moments forced you to believe the opposite and slowly but surely realize that your worst nightmares were starting to become true. Negan was gone. He had packed his things while you’d slept. He had written this poor excuse of a note in what looked like the matter of a few minutes and then, then he’d left you. You felt like you were stuck in an impuissance, in a bubble of powerlessness, half of you unsure if this all was truly happening as this all rather felt like a bad film while the other half was already drowning in pain.  Your head was a total mess, your mind trying to make sense of all the intimate moments you’d shared with Negan in the past, with your growing relationship and the countless moments of closeness, and the situation you were confronted with right in these very moments.  How could he just leave you? After everything that had happened between the both of you, how could he just leave you out of the blue? ”Morning”, you suddenly heard a voice sound muffled through the closed lid of the car, letting you flinch up and shoot your eyes towards Tony, who was knocking softly on the window and lowered his head a little to glimpse inside, check if you were already awake. By the confused way he looked you could tell that he was expecting two people instead of just one to sit inside the car, and you could see him shaking his head softly before he reached down to open the lid up.ing  ”Morning, where’s Negan?”, he asked, stroking his blonde curls back to keep them from falling right into his face while you stared at him like a deer in headlights, still shaking. “He’s gone”, was all you could get to slip out of your lips, still holding onto the note as if your life depended on it while Tony’s brows started to furrow, as if he couldn’t quite get what was happening either. “What-” A blood-freezing scream cut him right off and spread a whole other tension all over your body within mere seconds. You grabbed your knife and shot outside of the car, only in your sleeping clothes and on bare feet as you followed Tony to the source of the screams and the nervous voices that started to mix with them, only to feel your heart skip another beat as you saw their source.  Pam was laying on the ground, clutching her throat as blood kept spewing out of the curve of her neck, turning her whole figure red while Thom dragged his knife out of the dead walker’s skull beside her.  “No...no!”, she gasped, her voice rasp and breathy, barely audible while you could see Janice moving in to hold her shaking body and heard the rest storming towards you. You stood there, like glued to the ground while you couldn’t fully get what was happening, could only feel new tears shooting into your eyes as you saw your friend bleeding out, still gasping for air though you knew that each one could be her last. Your dizziness got worse, everything around you became a blur again, the voices, the situation that played out in front of your eyes before loud, deadly growls ripped you out of your trance.  From one moment to another you could see walkers coming closer, attracted by the screams as they shuffled through the trees towards you. They ripped the safety lines of wire that were spun around the trees apart with their strength as a group, pushing further and while your head still didn’t get what was happening, your body’s instincts took over and made you react. You couldn’t count how often your knife dug into rotting skulls, one by one until they became too many, pushing further and further into the camp before you heard Janice calling for everyone to grab what you still could and flee.  You did, taking everything that felt necessary in these moments, slipping into your boots, grabbing your clothes, backpack and the note before you stormed towards the others only to hear more screams echoing through the air. “Run”, you could hear Thom scream as you turned around and saw walkers closing in on him, burying their teeth into his skin, starting to tear him apart before so many dead surrounded him that he disappeared within them. You could only feel how your legs began to move as soon as you realized that there was no way to save him anymore and  a feeling of excruciation pain spread out all over you and only the adrenaline kept you running.  You followed the rest that had made it, ran until your feet hurt, until your heavy breathing made it feel like it was cutting crannies into your throat, and until you had left the walkers and the bloody camp-side far behind yourself.

This day felt like a nightmare you were unable to wake up from.  No matter how much you tried to get it off, there was still some blood sticking to your hands when the night-sky was covering the firmament again and you found yourself sitting on a tree trunk by the bustling flames. Your new camp was far from the place you’d lost four of your friends, far from the place you’d last seen Negan and still, a piece of him was still there with you, laying in your hands. You were staring at his messy handwriting over and over again, at the blacked out spots and the sentences in the middle, trying to somehow find out what he could mean with them and what could hide behind the thick, black lines. You still hadn’t fully processed that he was gone, still expected him to come out of the woods towards you or stick his head out of one of the tents but with every passing moment and with every bit the stress and shock of this day beat retreat, the reality started to set in more.  You looked back at the note, seeing how the flames shed a warm light onto it while your eyes wandered over each word and letter. “It’s better like this”, “You’re better off this way”, what the fuck was this supposed to mean? It didn’t make any sense, not after what you’ve had in the prior night together. Did he actually just act like he enjoyed it and this was his shitty take on  “It’s not you, it’s me”? Did he really not feel like you felt for him? Why the hell would he say that you were better off this fucking way? You were miserable, nothing else. “You should just burn it”, you could hear Tony’s voice echoing through the air, letting you flinch a little as your glance shot up to him while he made his way over to you, pointing at the note ,”Try to forget him, he ain’t worth it.” He shook his head with a sigh, letting himself fall next to you onto the tree trunk while he bit a bit off of the stickbread that he was holding in his hand. “I always had the feeling that there was something off with him”, he mumbled, grimacing slightly as he glimpsed at the note, stroking some crumbs out of his blonde beard stubble ,”What a bastard.” You gulped, starting to fold the note, trying to fight the small part in you that hadn’t quite comprehended yet that Negan was someone else than you thought and still wanted to defend him. “Can we not talk about him?”, you asked, shifting uncomfortably as you buried the note back in your pocket, not yet ready to let go of it. Tony nodded, his eyes fixed on your hands as they zipped the pocket shut. “You want some?”, he then asked, holding the bread in his hands for a moment up before he pointed with it to the other side of the campfire,”We still got enough of it.” “Not hungry”, you shook your head, sure that if you’d try to eat something now you’d throw it back up in the very next moment ,”Thanks though.” “No problem”, he said as he got back on his feet and glimpsed to some of the others who were sitting by the tents back to you,”Y’know we got the guard shifts for tonight already sorted out. When you wanna sleep, you can do so, don’t have to wait for us to decide anymore.” “Okay, thanks”, you nodded, seeing how he tried to put a supportive smile on his lips before he reached down to give your shoulder a soft pat and made his way back to the rest, giving you some space.  You just wanted this day to be over, so maybe it wasn’t wrong to just go to your tent and try to shut your mind down and fall asleep, or at least try to. Your body was definitely exhausted enough to crave some sleep, all you had to do was get your thoughts under control. You finally got up from your spot on the tree trunk and strolled over to your tent, climbing over the ropes that held the other ones in the ground before you could climb into yours and zip it shut.  You had tried to make it as comfortable as you could with the things you had left and tried the same with yourself as you slipped into some more comfortable clothes, hoping that it would somehow trick you into feeling better.  You eventually cuddled into your sleeping bag and turned your jacket into a bundle, trying to use it as a provisory pillow. You could hear the note in the jacket’s pocket rustling a little as you shifted, bringing Negan back into your mind even though he’d never really left it.  Your throat started to tighten, along with your ribcage that allowed it to spread tension over you that began to seep inside, turning into agony that crawled up your whole body. And now that you were alone, now that everything was quiet around you, the bubble of shock and denial finally bursted, from one moment to another. Tears shot into your eyes as you breath grew heavier and your body started to tremble while your mind got tortured all over again, now as the full truth started to reveal itself and you couldn’t deny what had happened anymore. Negan had exiled you from his life.  Just like that.  And he’d known it. He’d known how much it had taken you to build trust up and let people in, he’d known how afraid you were of being abandoned or of losing someone else you loved.  And he’d still left you while you were sleeping, only leaving this shitty note behind and the only clear question you could form right now was asking for the “why”? Had you really just surmised everything about him? From his feelings for you to everything that made your whole relationship up? Had he really felt different last night and this whole thing had just been an act? Fuck, but he’d told you so much about himself, too much for it all to just be an superficial act, he’d told you basically his whole past and his regrets, he wouldn’t have done this if he hadn’t felt safe with you as well, right? There was this small part in you that tried to soothe your pain and told you that maybe he had only gotten scared after taking the next step with you. But if he had, why hadn’t he talked to you the same way you had talked about everything else, leaving you completely was just too extreme. This all just didn’t match. And with that, the devil on your shoulder started to whisper its painful remarks into your ear, turning all your thoughts even more toxic than they already were. Maybe he have had some feelings for you but the kisses had made him realize after all that you just weren’t it for him. Maybe you’d been completely deceived by him and had seen someone else in him than he actually was. He had to be, somehow at least. The Negan you’d known wouldn’t have left you like this, especially with the consequence that you would never see him again, not after all these months together, not after growing so close. But he had left, he had run away, he had exiled you from his life and he forced you to live with his decision, without any clear answers. Your thoughts were eating into you, tearing you up from the inside while hot tears started to roll down your cheeks, first silently before your small whimpers grew into sobs. Had you done something wrong? Had you repelled him? Were you really that unlovable that he felt like you didn’t even deserve to know why he didn’t want to be with you anymore? Was there something so wrong about you that made him suddenly not want you in his life anymore? Why the fuck had he left you? You were muffling your sobs, hoping that no one would hear you while more and more pain travelled through your body and kept you in a bubble of agony.  You couldn’t control your head anymore, it felt like your thoughts were stuck in a storm that raged through your head, strong enough to let you grow dizzy and make you feel like the tent was spinning around you. You tried your best to focus on one spot of its roof, keep you from losing control completely while the spinning got stronger, amplifying the nausea the pain had already elicited.  Your heart was hammering in your chest, so loudly that you felt like you could hear it while the nausea started to turn your stomach upside down. The pictures of Negan in your head stared to mix with the ones of your dead friends, of the blood on the forest ground and the metallic scent of it that reeked of death before your body took over and made you rush out of the tent. In the very last second you fell to your knees and felt your ribcage tightening as the bile and the very last bit of your stomach content pushed up your throat and spewed out of your mouth.  The bile was biting into the skin of your lips and made you tear up even more while the nausea kept clawing onto your throat until you hung violently shaking over the ground, bile and saliva dripping out of your mouth as your stomach finally stopped to contract.  You whimpered, only glad about the fact that no one seemed to have heard you before you forced yourself to slowly move back into the tent, still crying as you got your mouth clean and drunk the very last bit of your water to get the awful taste out of your mouth that would surely have let you throw up again. You ended up sitting in the tent, hugging your legs while the tears didn’t stop falling down your face, making you feel like the pain would never stop coming. You had lost the most important person in your life, and it wasn’t just about the fact that you’d lost the person you’d fallen in love with, you’d lost your best friend too.  And maybe, you thought, maybe there would have been a way for you to prevent it, or at least avoid yourself from ending up without answers, making up scenarios in your head that didn’t help you at all but just existed to further torture you. You should have stayed awake when you’d woken up last night, you should have asked further what had actually been wrong with him, maybe you wouldn’t be in this situation now if you had.  Maybe.  Everything was just a fucking maybe.  You would never get clear answers. You would never see Negan again.  And you wondered if you would ever be able to cope with that.  It didn’t get better after this night, not much at least. Time alone couldn’t heal all wounds, and the vast difference between your previous life and the one Negan forced you to continue now made it only more difficult for you to cope.  You were going from sleeping wrapped up in strong arms that made you feel safe and cozy to sleeping completely alone, left to fight your nightmares on your own, left to overthink each night about what you’d done wrong, what could be so unlovable about you that you’d be abandoned. You were going from joking around and walking laughing through the woods to bringing up the caboose, walking silently behind the others when you made your way through forests and fields. You were going from growing comfortable around people to becoming hostile and mistrusting of every act someone else did around you, of everything someone said and asked you.  You were growing numb and more sensitive at the very same time.  And most obviously, you were going from living back to purely surviving.  Back when Negan was around, you had finally felt like you were living again, and now, you were only surviving from one day to another. You were letting the hours pass from dawn until the moon was shining on the firmament and the whole process repeated itself. You were in your own bubble. Surviving, but that was it. Your hunger for answers kept you up most of the nights, now less than in the beginning, but still enough to hurt you. Sometimes you’d hoped to run into him, find exactly these answers to what had made him leave so you could find your peace, other times you hoped you would never have to see his face again and be reminded of the fact of how much he had deceived you. The latter lost most of the times, even if you had struggles to admit that. But the facts spoke a different language:  You still flinched when you saw a walker that had his height, stature and mere bodily resemblances, and even though there was a part in you that knew that Negan was someone who would survive almost everything, you had this urge to kill them each time and check that it truly wasn’t him. You still had the note. There were countless times you had wanted to toss it into the flames and see it turn into ashes, but you’d never managed too. You weren’t looking at it as often as in the beginning, trying to figure out what he’d meant or what he’d blacked out, but it still rested in your jacket’s pocket, as your eternal companion. You wished you could free yourself from all of this, wished you could trust, wished you could be open to others, but with leaving, with exiling you from his life from one moment to another, Negan had taken that from you. And there was a part of you that hated him for it more than you were able to put in words. Oddly enough there was this other part in you, this weird tiny part that still felt for him, or rather the image you’ve had of him. He hadn’t been who you thought he was, he hadn’t left if you’d been right about him, but there was this part that no matter how hard you tried, couldn’t comprehend that. There was this part that refused to believe that you were such a bad judge of character. And so, with all these contradictory thoughts and feelings raging through you, with the missing answers that wouldn’t allow your mind to get the peace it desperately needed, you couldn’t get over it, no matter how much you tried, you couldn’t heal and move on from what he’d done to you and you hated it. 

You lost more people over the coming months. Others joined here and there while you had to watch others being torn apart until you were the only survivor left of the original group, now surrounded by those who had joined far after Negan had left.  You closed yourself more and more off over time, those who still knew you before he left died, and those who joined never got to see more of you than they needed to accept you as a member of the group. You didn’t allow more. There was this part of your brain that had restructured itself, leading you to believe that when the person you’d been so incredibly close to over months was able to abandon you from one moment to another, there was no way you could trust anyone else to not leave you. Moreover, you didn’t trust yourself anymore to judge who had good intentions and who hadn’t, not after you had been so awfully wrong about Negan. And so you were still lonely, even with all these people around you. But being lonely was less painful than having to live with the agony of possibly being abandoned again. It had to be a little over a half year after Negan left when you found yourself sitting on a tree trunk in the woods, watching the campfire while you slung your winter coat tighter around your body, trying to keep yourself warm. You watched two of the other, newer members sitting on the other side, Sarah and Donna who were giggling as they chatted about some story while some of the others were either guarding the camp-side, slept or prepared some food for the coming days.  This casual chatting, the laughing at campfires was another thing that wasn’t part of your life anymore, the fear in you to reveal too much to be able to get hurt again was just too much of a risk and you honestly envied those who were able to take it, or who still didn’t see these type of interactions as a risk at all. The only times you loosened a bit up was when the group found some booze that lowered your inhibitions a little and pushed you to be more talkative than you allowed yourself to be any other time, but that was pretty much it.  You honestly hated who you had become, a shell of a person who had let her fears started to rule her life, forcing her to become a loner, suspicious of everything and everyone.  You wished for something that would give you the chance to turn it all back around, but with each passing day, the probability that you’d ever get this opportunity slimmed more and more. Letting out a shivering breath you  tried to move a little closer to the fire, hoping it would get to warm you up some more right before you heard a loud rustling within the underwood and heard Jake’s voice sounding tensely through the night. ”One step further and you’re dead”, he called out, letting you nearly instinctively jump to your feet and look at the other side of the small camp, see him pointing his gun at a small group that was nearly standing in the darkness, with their hands raised while the rest of your group started to draw their weapons and step closer to the possible threat. ”Hold on, hold on”, you could hear one of them say while you stepped closer, your hand wrapped around the handle of your knife as you first saw the man who was standing in front of four others, three men and one woman. A smile was laying on his lips, a dark mustache only intensifying it while he cleared his throat, though still holding a handgun in his raised hands. ”We’re here with some good news.” ”Drop the weapons first”, Jake called out, still pointing his gun at the group,”I mean it.” ”Alright, friend”, the man said, nodding to the others before they slowly lowered their hands and dropped their weapons as your eyes swayed over them, trying to find out whether they were still a treat or if they were simply searching for a group to join in. They had watched your camp-side before for sure, that pretty much was the unwritten 1st rule before approaching others and they must’ve been aware that your group was too big for them to take over on their own.  ”We got a big settlement nearby, a factory”, one of the other man, slimmer than the one who had talked until now stepped forwards, careful to not alert you. Your attention peaked up, your instincts immediately trying to figure out if he was being truthful ,”And we’re searching for new people to join, expand our forces.” ”People are the biggest resource we have”, the other one added quickly, nodding towards your group, all while the gun was still pointed at him, though he surprisingly didn’t seem to be all too bothered by it ,”We’re trying to use that.” You looked at them a little closer, stepping a few steps towards them through your group to see them a bit clearer in the light the campfire was throwing at them. They seemed to be well kept, their clothes were only slightly dirty from walking through the woods, but compared to yours they were pretty clean. ”You got proof?”, it sounded out of your group through the night, while the two men in the front quickly nodded. ”Sure”, the slimmer one said, gulping slightly as he glanced at the gun, “I have pictures in my backpack, I’m gonna take it off and toss it towards you, alright?” “Alright”, Jake nodded, while the man took the backpack slowly off, repeatedly eyeing the gun while he was doing so before he carefully tossed it forward.  You could see another one of your group, Daniel, reaching down to grab the backpack before he took a few steps back, ending up by your side as he opened it and revealed the pictures that laid on top of a couple cans of food and a cramped up jacket.  “If these are fake, you’ll die”, You could hear one of the others say as Daniel fished the polaroid photos out of the backpack, while you tried to get a glimpse at them, curious even though you were still suspicious of them, just like everyone else.  “Then we got nothing to fear, they’re real, as real as your chance for a better life.” Daniel started to slowly flip through them, give you and the ones who stood close enough to see them a chance to catch what was displayed on them and it seemed more than promising, almost too good to be true. There definitely was a factory on them, a compound with one giant building and smaller ones attached to it and here and there you could see some people displayed on them. working on the fence that seemed to surround it or walking from one spot to another. There were some pictures from inside too and these were the ones that actually impressed you and nearly made you hold your breath for a moment. There was a big hall of one of them, the photo shot from some kind of high platform to capture the countless people inside of it and the booths they were standing at, probably for food and other supplies. Other pictures showed rooms inside of the building,  “We have a new leader for a few weeks now, he’s trying to build this place further up. You got the pics of the apartments now, right? We keep on transforming more and more rooms into those”, the man with the mustache said, pointing towards the photo Daniel had on top right now and you could feel yourself drawn to them, though a large proportion of your mind was still on alert. Having your own bed, being able to shower whenever you wanted, not being scared of not finding enough food anymore, god that sounded almost too good to be true.  ”I know how it is to live outside, fight for survival. It’s easier together as a community”, the man added, letting you look up from the photos for another moment before he flashed another grin. ”I’m Simon by the way”, he said before he nodded towards the slimmer man beside him,”This here’s Gavin and-” He turned a little around before pointing to the others, one by one. ”These guys are DJ, Arat and Gary.” You watched them nod before you glanced back at the photos, while you could hear Jake asking them some more questions, testing them a little while you could actually feel a little hope within you rising that this place could actually be something that would give all of you a little brighter future.  Your mind was still wrestling with the devil on your shoulder, that was whispering in your ear that you shouldn’t trust your judgement anymore, not after what had happened, while another part of you genuinely hoped that maybe, maybe this could be at least a little bit of a new beginning for you. And what did you have to lose? ”So what do you fine folks say?”

It took a bit of discussing, more questioning and weighing your options until your group eventually agreed to give Simon’s community a try, dismantled your camp and finally followed them through the woods, still alert.  Simon kept talking about the place they called the Sanctuary and about the opportunities you’d get as new part of the Saviors as they called themselves. It would’ve sounded a little odd to you if you hadn’t heard all the other weird name groups and communities were giving themselves since the world had gone to shit. Compared to those, the Savior’s Sanctuary almost sounded normal.  You finally reached a large truck that was parked at the side of the road, with just enough space to fit all of you into its inside. You were still constantly checking your surroundings, maybe even trying to find something that could make you mistrustful of them but the truck seemed more than fine, just filled with wood benches at either side, and with some blankets and water placed into a box in one of its corners. You settled down onto a spot on the bench next to the others rather in the back of the truck, placing your backpack between your legs while the truck already started to slowly move back onto the road, jerking a little as you got ready for a long drive to what could become your new home.

The sun was already shining brightly when you heard that you were halfway at the Sanctuary, could see Simon moving through the truck as he talked here and there about the rest of the drive to the community. He was steady on his feet before he reached the seat in the front, bracing himself against it before he reached toward’s DJ who sat in the passenger seat, and patted his shoulder roughly. He chuckled, a wide grin plastered on his face that even you could see from your spot in the back before his voice echoed through the truck and let your blood freeze the moment you heard what he was saying. “Negan’s gonna like ‘em”, he proudly called out towards DJ, and the moment his name left Simon’s lips you could feel your body flinching, could feel boiling heat and icy coldness washing over your back within milliseconds while your breath got stuck in your throat. You stared wide eyed at the mustached man in the front, unable to move, unable to say something while thousands of thoughts started to crush in on you before you heard Jake raising his voice quickly. “Who’s that?” “The big man, our boss”, Simon chuckled, grinning back as he leaned himself against the seat and while you could Jake answering with an “okay”, you were already drifting away.  This couldn’t be him, right? Negan was a name you hadn’t heard before the world went to shit but that didn’t mean that he was the only one with this name. It could be someone else, right? You could feel your palms starting to grow sweaty, could feel your body starting to tremble while you gripped your fingers into your thighs, hoping that the sensation would help you get yourself under control and sort your thoughts. Negan had always been the leader type, the of man who was able to be the alpha of a group but this didn’t automatically mean that he was the leader of this group. When he’d run from you, he’d probably run as far as possible to not be in risk to run into your group again and that was likely much further than you had travelled by now. This didn’t have to be him. This could be another, completely different man. This didn’t have to be him. You were repeating this, over and over again in your head, until you had yourself fairly under control, though you feared that the others would notice how frozen, yet trembling you were sitting next to them, forcing yourself to stare at a spot on the wooden floor, to fixate it and give your head the opportunity to repeat these sentences over and over again until you felt like you had convinced yourself. And still, regardless how much you tried to suppress it, the possibility that it was actually your Negan was there, and you didn’t know how to handle it. You sat like glued to the bench, hearing and seeing everything else around you in a blur until you felt the truck stop underneath you indefinitely.  ”Alrighty folks, we’re there!”, Simon called out, grinning widely as you first snapped out of your trance-like state and could feel your group members starting to stand up around you, waiting for the man in the front to lead them outside. You pushed yourself to stand up too, feeling how wobbly your legs felt while an uncomfortable nausea was settling in your stomach no matter how hard you tried to keep on repeating those sentences in your head.  Shivering breaths fell from your lips while you exited the truck, holding tightly onto your backpack  finding yourself in the courtyard of the large factory. “Welcome to the Sanctuary”, Simon called out, strutting with open arms towards the large metallic entrance, more than ready to show you your new potential home. You had a hard time taking in what was happening around you, nearly unconsciously strolled into the large building behind the others, trying to keep your attention for your surrounding up as much as you could while you entered the large hall you’d already seen on the pictures, filled with bustling people. “As I said, the boss is still restructuring things but this is our grand hall!”, Simon chuckled as he spread his arms out again, turning around to the group for the moment as he kept on talking,”We got all kinds of things here, food, clothes, shit we even recently got a barber! And we’re building more up, maybe some of y’all get to open up your booth here. Behind this we got the sleeping places for the newbies until everything’s figured out and they get their rooms.” If you hadn’t heard Negan’s name earlier, you’d walk amazed through the hall, would stare at the uncountable booths and the people that were as many as you hadn’t seen for the longest time. But instead, you felt numb and panicked at the same time, stuck in a bubble and hoping that you’d  be able to let it break as soon as possible to return back to reality and pay attention to what was truly important right now. ”We’ll get ya’ll some food as soon as possible, but for now, you’ll get to set up your camp over here”, Simon finally said after you’d made yourself through the uncountable food booths that would have made your mouth water if you weren’t so busy with your thoughts and had ended up on the other end of the call, in its edge where cots with some blankets were set up, surrounded by some sheets that were hung onto cloths-lines to separate each little camp from one another.  You were nearly drifting back into your little trance as you looked around the cots, glad that you were standing in the back of your group so no one paid attention to your absent behavior while you cursed yourself for not being able to just push these thoughts into the back of your head.  You could hear Simon talk some more before he suddenly silenced, letting you first look up again to glimpse past the the others in front of you, only to feel how you froze in your spot as soon as you heard another, way too familiar voice boom through the air. “Well shit, now would you look at that!” It was him.  His voice. His laugh. It was him.   “Some newbies!”, you could hear him say while you still stood like glued to the cement ground on your spot, with widened eyes and shaking legs while his voice let shiver after shiver run down your spine,”Glad to get some more saviors into our ranks.” This had to be another one of your nightmares. This couldn’t be real. What were the odds that you’d see him again under these circumstances?  It took just another moment before you saw him standing next to Simon, the man you hadn’t thought you’d ever see again.  He looked nearly the very same as you remembered him.  A wide smirk was plastered over his handsome face, a salt and pepper beard that was a little shorter than when you’d last seen him was caressing his jaw, his hazel eyes were beaming with a roguish glance, his black hair wasn’t just combed back as it often had been during his time in the group  but instead slicked back with some gel, the familiar leather jacket was covering his torso and his beloved bat was laying on his shoulder while his fingers tapped on its handle. You were growing dizzy, could feel your ribcage tightening enough to seemingly press all air out of your lungs while you didn’t know what to think, didn’t know what to do as you stared at him while your body got so overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings that an emptiness started to settle in you, keeping you in a state of shock. “Hi, I’m Negan”, his deep voice vibrated through you, spreading goosebumps all over your body as his glance started to sway over the group, taking a look at each new person that was about to join his community before the unavoidable moment came and his eyes landed on you.  From one second to another, his face dropped, the grin literally falling from it as he stared at you if as if you were a mirage. His brows tensed in the next moment and you could tell that he was trying to figure out if he wasn’t just imagining this while horror spread over his features. It took a few more seconds for him to realize that the whole group was watching him and his sudden change in behavior before he put the grin back on his face, playing down the obvious bewilderment that was still stuck in his eyes before he nodded towards Simon.  “Simon, show our newcomers around, will ya? All other shit can be handled later”, he grinned once more into the group, through purposely avoiding your glance as Simon nodded. “Sure, boss.” “Good. Welcome to the Sanctuary”, Negan just said, before he already started to turn on his heels, and rushed into the opposite direction, disappearing quickly in another hallway that lead away from the grand hall.

Simon took you on a little tour in the following two hours, giving you some more info about the place and making sure you had what you needed for now until you found yourself back at your little camp, sitting on one of the cots while your head was still torturing you with thoughts. You could tell that the others had noticed the way Negan had reacted, that they knew that there was a reason why he’d changed after seeing you, and Jake and Sarah, who were sitting with you by the cots and kept glancing at you were the living proof for it. “Do you know him? Negan?”, Jake finally spoke up, still letting you glance up with wide eyes at him while he let out a small chuckle,”C’mon I saw his face when he saw you.” You gulped, fumbling on the end of your jacket before a tight breath fell from your lips. “Yeah”, you eventually nodded, sure of the fact that there was no way around this, at least not without giving them any information. “He uhm...he was in our group a long while ago”,you mumbled, watching as Sarah looked wide eyed at you, full of curiosity and most likely excited to finally unlock part of your past you’d kept locked up from all of them,”We got split up.” Technically, that was true. Not by groups of walkers or other threatening survivors, as they likely assumed, but you did get split up by his choice. Part of you wanted to tell the truth, let some anger that was still seething within you seep out but another, bigger part was holding it back, enough for you to keep a cool head, for now. Even if Negan was the leader of this place, it seemed like a good one. Food, shelter, protection. They had all been out there for long, they deserved a place to rest. Everything else would show itself by time, but for now, you didn’t blindly want to rob them of these things because of your personal vendetta.  ”He looked like he saw a ghost”, Jake chuckled, stroking some of his dark hair out of his face while a happy giggle fell from Sarah’s lips. ”Well, it doesn’t happen all too often that you can reunite with people”,she said, the excitement clearly audible in her voice,”You must be glad to see him again, huh?” God, if she only knew. ”Hey, you”, you heard a voice behind you say, letting you quickly turn around as you looked up at an unknown man who stared down at you,”It’s (Y/N), right?” ”Yeah”, you nodded, glimpsing a little irritatedly at him before he cleared his throat slightly, only to shove you into another sea of tension and nervousness as soon as he raised his voice again. ”The boss wants to see you, now”, he said, not leaving you, the tone of his voice urging ,”I’ll get you to his apartment.” It wasn’t phrased like a question, clearly, it was a command that somehow rubbed you the wrong way while another part of you still tried to grasp what this actually meant.  You would see Negan again. You might get answers to your questions. You gulped thickly, first becoming aware of the fact that three sets of eyes were staring at you and if you would take longer, it would only become more. An urge in you that was barely conscious urged you to nod and get up on your feet, without even thinking much further, though the tension within you started to become overwhelming. You still hadn’t processed all of this and now more and more was being thrown at you, leaving you to make your decision solely based on the few things that had always been clear to you; you wanted answers and you wanted to give vent to the anger and all the other emotions that had been seething in you for so long. Those two things were the only ones that let this urge win against the obvious fear that was streaming stronger and stronger through your body. “Go get your reunion!”, you heard Sarah say happily, smiling widely at you as you glanced back at her and forced a faked smile onto your lips, trying to cover up how you really felt before you were lead into the labyrinth of hallways by the Savior. The walk through the Sanctuary along the other man was awkward and it only let the odd nervousness within you rise. You could tell by his glances that he was curious to know why his Boss had asked for you, but he kept his mouth shut nevertheless, letting you walk beside him in silence, allowing your thoughts to full on torture you. They were buzzing through your head like a swarm of angry bees as you started to make your way up the long staircase, each step giving you more of a feeling of nausea as you knew that each one of them made you get closer to him.  There were thousands of scenarios whirling through your head, scenarios of what he’d say to you, scenarios of how you would react as soon as you would step into his apartment. Would he ask you to leave? Or to keep your mouth shut to not scare away anybody else? What would he actually be like? You’d clearly been deceived in him when you’d still been together. He hadn’t been the person you had though he was. So how would he present himself now? And how the hell would you present yourself? Would you freeze again as soon as you’d see his awfully familiar face? Would the rage within you finally boil over for good?  You were nearly growing dizzy just trying to comprehend all these thoughts, trying to shove them back and distract yourself with the view of the barely enlightened staircases, with the sound your shoes were producing each time they met the concrete and with your heavier growing breath. “Almost there”, the man beside you finally spoke up as you could see the end of the staircase coming closer, could see some light streaming through the small window of the heavy industrial door that lead to the very last floor. If the urge for answers to all the questions that were torturing you since he had left wouldn’t have been so strong, you were sure that your body would’ve urged you to turn on your heels and run, relieve you from the painful tension that was starting to eat you up from inside. The last steps were the hardest, physically and mentally it felt as if you were wearing shoes made of concrete, dragging you down each time you wanted to take the next step up until you found yourself on the small and very last platform. It felt surreal, almost as if you were a figure in a video game, not controlled by yourself but some other force you didn’t have any control over as you finally stepped through the heavy metal door and found yourself in yet another hallway. It looked a little different than the others, ironically more welcoming, with softer and warmer light than the previous ones. You could feel the nausea within you rise, fueled by the fear, anger and skepticism of what was waiting for you while the man beside you kept walking past some other doors that were plastered along the sides of the hallway until you stood in front of heavy, dark two winged wooden doors. If you weren’t so tense, you would’ve probably laughed to yourself about the ridiculously of these lavish doors in a literal factory building, that oddly enough felt like they fit to the Negan you had known.  “Here we are”, the man mumbled, catapulting you back into reality as you felt your heart skipping a beat as he reached for the handle and slowly opened the door and you started to feel your emotions pounding against the wall within you that had kept them in control until now, destroying it more with each passing second. “Don’t be so shy, step in”, you heard him grumble beside you, letting you realize that you’d stared at the slightly opened door until now, not moving an inch.  You slowly nodded, trying to straighten your shoulders and look as confident as you were able to right now, unwilling to show the man behind those doors how broken he’d still left you. “Sure”, you just said, nodding again before you moved past him, brushing past the heavy doors, the nervousness nearly blurring your view until your eyes suddenly fixed on his face, forcing you to look right into his eyes. He was standing there, just standing there looking wide eyed at you, almost as if he hadn’t expected you to come and slowly but surely, the emotions started to break out of their cage, forcing you to take in your surrounding, forcing you to understand that this situation was real and not just another nightmare. The apartment was as lavish as those doors had already indicated, dark wood everywhere, a large black, four poster bed to your left, yet too much out of your view to catch it entirely, oppositely to the leather couch and the luxurious armchairs he was standing next to, and the coffee table between them that was covered in food, wine, a big bottle of whiskey and a lit up candle that left you speechless and wondering what the fuck this here was. “Hey, Sweetheart-“ “Don’t call me that”, it shot out of your lips as soon as you heard his voice and the awfully familiar nickname that triggered way too many memories at once. Your eyes shot back to him as you could feel the anger within you trumping all other emotions for a moment, pumping you full with adrenaline that unleashed energy you didn’t even know you had anymore. “What the fuck is this”, it slipped in a snapping tone out of your lips as you stared once more at the fully covered table. You felt like this wasn’t even you who was directly talking, it was just the fury that was slipping out of you, more and more and it wasn’t done yet for sure. “I hoped that we could talk”, he said, his tone slightly defeated as he caught your glance, fueling the rage that was streaming within you, the rage that had been held back for way too long. “Now you wanna talk? You sure you don’t wanna leave a little note again and fuck off?” “Okay, I deserve that”, he sighed, so oddly calm that it only made you angrier.  He had left you, he had left you while you had been sleeping after you had opened yourself fully up to him and now he was acting as if you were here to have a little casual and friendly chitty chat with him. ”Listen-“ “No, no you listen”,you cut him nearly immediately off, and while your voice was still filled up with anger you could feel the stinging feeling of the bottled up pain start to break through the rage, much to your annoyance ,”Fuck you, fuck you, Negan.” You still sounded angry, but there was a brokenness and a bitterness to it that hadn’t been there before, something that let your lips tremble and your voice vibrate. “You left me”, you snapped, trying your very best to keep the stinging pain that was crushing down on you again in check,”Out of nowhere. You never gave me any warning signs. You asshole made me trust you, you kissed me and then you left me, you just fucked off.” Your breath was getting heavier as you nearly instinctively stepped further into the room, trying to get a closer look of him, trying to see what kind of emotions laid over his face to find out who he actually was. “We spent months together, we talked about every little possible shit, I would’ve trusted you with my damn life and you just left. You fucker let me wonder what the fuck I’d done wrong for you to abandon me out of fucking nowhere after everything we’ve been through”, the pain was sounding clearer through your voice now, regardless of how much you were trying to suppress it, while a cool shudder washed down your back as soon as he stepped closer as well, hurt and guilt plastered over his face that ironically only made you angrier, “And now you bring me up in your little suite and think we can have a chat during some candle lit dinner, are you fucking kidding me?” “Y/N”, he just said, pleading and with a deep sigh as he stepped even closer to you, trying to calm you down but the second he reached you and stepped just a little too close, close enough to touch you your instincts took over again.  “No”, you snapped as he tried to reach out to you, swatting away his hand while this mere, millisecond long touch was enough to let the storm of emotions within you rage even wilder,”No!” Negan didn’t try anything else, immediately moving a few steps away from you while you could feel your heart pounding faster against your chest and a lump slowly started to grow in your throat. “Fuck you”,you breathed shakily, trying your best to swallow down that lump that was starting to grow further as the pain started to wash over you once more, slow, stinging and torturous as it brought out the memories of the lonely nights you’d spent crying yourself to sleep,”You got any idea how I felt?” ”You knew of my fears”,it left your lips immediately before you gulped thickly, trying to get rid of the lump,”You fucking knew it...I just came up here because I want answers...nothing else.” “And you’ll get ‘em, I promise”, Negan said, looking at you with those sad puppy eyes that only made you question him, his behavior and everything that was going on around you even more. “You promised to stay too”, it slipped out of your lips, while you still tried to calm yourself down, control the emotions that still tried to turn you into a bigger mess than you already were to find answers to the questions that had been buzzing through your head since the day he’d left. “I know”, he nodded before he gulped thickly and let out a small sigh,”Please let me explain.” He looked at you, almost waiting for an answer before he reached up to scratch his salt and pepper beard, the same way he’d always done it when he’d started to get nervous. “Can we sit down?”, he asked, nodding towards the couch and the armchairs before you slowly started to nod as well, and strolled almost simultaneously with him to the assemble, moving down to sit in one of the comfy armchairs while he let himself fall onto the leather couch. For another moment, you tensed up again, looking at all the food and beverages that were sprawled out over the table, smelling their delicious scent that made your mouth water. It felt obscure to see that much food at once when you’d been happy to find a single can of ravioli just a day ago and it made you feel much more obscure and out of place to sit in the middle of this lavish apartment still dressed in your dirty and ripped clothes. “You can take anything you like. I know you’re hungry”, you heard Negan say, ripping your attention away from the food. “You don’t know shit”, it slipped out of your lips, and while it may have seemed childish, you didn’t want to take anything from him yet and you moreover didn’t feel able to eat now, not with this emotional turmoil keeping your body under its control, “Just start.” “The people you’re here with, does that mean-“ “Yeah”,you responded, gulping thickly as you could feel Negan’s eyes fix on you,”They’re dead..Not at once. More people joined and others died along the way.” “But are they good people? You trust them?”, he kept on asking, and while a part of you understood, another one just felt like he was trying to distract you from the elephant in the room and earn some more time. “Y’know, trusting others wasn’t really my thing after the person I trusted the most left me out of nowhere”, you said, the bitterness in you unable to swallow that remark down before you pulled yourself together once more for the people downstairs. Regardless of what was going on with you and the man across from you, they deserved a chance here. ”But yeah, they’re good people”, you said, letting out a small sigh before you glimpsed back at him, a part of you still unable to process that it was actually him who was sitting there and not just a mirage, part of a nightmare that would let you wake up in cold sweat, “Now stop with the small talk, just start.” Negan nodded, running his hands almost nervously over his thighs before he moved down to rest his elbows on his knees, staring at his hands before he sighed once more. “First off, you didn’t do anything wrong”,he mumbled, glimpsing up for a moment to look at you,”I panicked that night.” You stared at him, not sure on how to react, nor how this would go on, you just looked at him, your body so tense you were almost on edge to hear more while the suspicious part of you was trying to filter his words, make sure you weren’t fooled and hurt again. “I-...fuck”,he stopped himself, struggling for words,”When I woke up in the middle of the damn night I laid awake for so long and those shit ass thoughts started to creep up..I just...I thought I’d be damned to fuck it up, whatever we had there...I thought it would be easier for you if I’d leave now before we’d get even deeper and I’d disappoint you then.” You were at loss of words as you stared at him, still shaking, still tense while you were trying to process what he was saying, if you were supposed to believe him or if this all was hot air. “I know how cliché this sounds but fuck, I never meant to hurt you, I tried to prevent it”, he gulped, snapping you out of your nearly trance-like state as what seemed to be supposed to appease you instead did the opposite. It whirled memories up, way too many, of how much he had hurt you nevertheless, of how much pain he had caused you from the moment you’d discovered that he was gone to this very day.  “Worked fantastically”, you scoffed out while your throat started to tighten again, start to push some tears into your eyes nevertheless how hard you tried to suppress them,”You knew how scared I was of being abandoned again.” “I know, I know, and I can’t tell you how sorry I am...the shit I did, my thoughts back then...they were fucking dumb, they weren’t rational”, he responded, shaking his head as another thick gulp travelled down his throat,”I just had that shit with Lucille creeping up again...I just-” He let out a deep sigh, looking down to his feet for a moment before he slowly glimpsed back up at you. “I knew you deserved better in the end, much fucking better than my old ass”, he started again, his glance nervously bouncing around the room before it landed back on you,”After that kiss I got scared, ain’t gonna lie to you. I got pants crapping scared. Those damn kisses meant we were going further and I just....” There was this feeling within you that he was being genuine, that he was telling the truth. The way his eyes shifted, the way his jaw clenched and the way he sat and fumbled on his hands, you had seen those things before on him. You’d seen this nervousness when head first talked to you about Lucille and his regrets, and there was something about the way he looked right now that was too raw to be acted. You were suspicious enough of your own judgement since he’d left, but you couldn’t deny that he seemed to tell the truth. But if he was, if he was actually being genuine, what he was saying there threw you off nevertheless. “We were already deep in. Not physically but you knew everything about me, emotionally we were already nearly as far as you can go”, it slipped out of your lips while you were still trying to process what he had been just saying there.   You’ve had so many concepts in your head as to why he had left and this was it? It was not as hurtful as finding out that he had full on rejected you or played games with your feelings when he hadn’t been feeling the same would have been, but it was frustrating. It seemed avoidable. It seemed like all this pain, all these sleepless and tears filled nights could have been avoided if he had just done what you’d both been doing when you’d been distressed. But instead of doing so he’d done exactly what he knew was one of your greatest fears. “You could’ve just talked to me. We always did that”, it slipped out of your lips while you could feel the tension starting to let your body shake again, not visibly but enough to cause you even more discomfort as you were thinking back to this one night,”I was even already awake...and even when I was back asleep, you-” “I know...It was a knee jerk reaction”, he quickly said, his voice desperate as he kept your glance glued to his,”And I regretted it. I did. I packed things so fast, wrote you that shitty note and just ran like fucking coward.” He gulped thickly, scratching his salt and pepper stubble nervously before he looked back up. “But I’m not lying to you when I said that I got my head clear a couple hours later. And regretted leaving, so goddamn bad”, he said, only intensifying the suspense, frustration and even confusion within you,“I still don’t think that I deserved you but shit, it should’ve been different and my fear of fucking shit up made me fuck us up...I got back to the camp, I did, to apologize and work things out but-“ Your heart skipped a beat as you heard him hear those words, unable to get what he was saying there before he went on. “I just saw them laying there. Joanne, Thom...and I searched the whole damn camp for you, I swear, and when I saw that you weren’t among the goddamn dead and your stuff was gone I kept searching for you...for weeks” Nausea was flooding your body again, turning your stomach upside down as you stared in disbelief at him. What he was saying there was changing everything he had said before, everything you had assumed before. He had come back. And he wasn’t lying. If he hadn’t, there was no way of knowing who had died at this clearing, nor that this walker attack had even happened.  “I think after two weeks I found this little cabin by a lake...found that weird scarf thing that Janice always wore”,he mumbled, only pushing you deeper into the chaos that was raging through your head,”Thought I’d finally found a lead but it was the last damn trace of you that I ever found.” You were speechless, unable to even get a single sound out. He was saying the truth, even about searching for you. You had been at this cabin, a little over a week after Negan had left. You had stayed there for a night only, just to discover in the morning that another large group of walkers was approaching. Still scarred from the events earlier, you’d all taken off as fast as you could, never coming back only to discover later that Janet had left her beloved cloth behind. She really did have this big scarf that she has used as poncho or even blanket during colder days that was covered with odd patterns that made your eyes hurt when you looked at it for a little too long, but she’d loved that thing and you could remember lively how heartbroken she’d been when she discovered that she’d left it behind in the hurry you’d been in.  So Negan had really been going after you, he hadn’t just returned to the camp and just left it for good when he’d seen that you were gone, he had kept searching for you. This was changing so much, if not everything and you didn’t know how you were supposed to feel about this.  “Probably went into he wrong directions for weeks after that”, Negan’s voice ripped you out of your thoughts back into reality, though the man in front of you and his words still appeared in a blur,“And then I met another group and shit, at that point I thought you didn’t wanna see me anymore anyway...So I followed them and ended up here....I always kept looking for you though.” You stared at him, watching his expression saddening further as he sighed deeply. “I’m sorry”, he said, a shivering breath falling from his lips,”I’m so sorry, I really am. We had something great there and I fucked it up, I hurt you and I can’t tell you how much I hate my damn asshole self for that shit.” You still couldn’t get a single word out. Everything seemed to fall to pieces and you had problems reattaching these pieces into this new story that completely messed with all the possible ones that had controlled your head during the last months. He had left you when you’d told him about your fears nevertheless, but he’d been panicked, hadn’t thought clearly and moreover had come back and searched for weeks for you, following every lead he could get. You just didn’t know how to handle this all at once. “I just...I don’t know what to think anymore”, it finally slipped out of your lips while your glance wandered off him, blurring further as your mind was too focused to try and get your thoughts and feelings under control. “It’s okay”, you heard Negan say, watching him clenching his jaw tensely from the corner of your eyes. “Again, I can’t tell you how sorry I am”, he sighed, playing with his fingers while you could feel his eyes on you,”I always hoped I’d get to see you again but fuck, another damn part of me, regardless how much that crap hurt just hoped that you’d become happy and forget about me. You deserved to move on after the shit I pulled.” “I never did”, it almost immediately left your lips, almost automatic while a stinging pain rushed once more through your body, the same you’d felt each time you’d stared at his note by the campfire that was right now, still resting in your jacket’s pocket,”I never forgot you.” It got silent for another moment while you could feel the lump growing in your throat again, could feel the tingling in your nose that was a harbinger for the tears that tried to rise into your eyes. “I never knew you went back”,you gulped, struggling for words as your blurred glance stared at the fuzzy, lavish carpet below your dirty boots,”I don’t know if I’m supposed to feel different now, I just-“ You got cut off by the growing lump that made it hard for you to speak by now and felt the intensifying torture your mind was pushing onto you, enough to let the room start spinning around you, let the dark painted walls around you come closer as if they were about to crush you to death. “I need some fresh air”, you chocked out, gripping the soft edges of the armchair’s sides to push you onto your feet, not fully trusting your body to do it without the support right now. “There’s a platform at the end of the hallway”, Negan almost worriedly said and you could see him sitting up, could tell that he was seeing what was happening to your body. “Okay”, you just said, nodding almost absently and before you could realize anything more, you found yourself stemming the heavy wooden doors open and rushing back through the hallway until you reached the metal door that lead to the platform he’d mentioned.  You were shaking heavily when you finally wrapped your fingers around the handle and pushed the door open, moving onto the platform before you propped yourself against the metallic railing, gripping its bars tightly. You stared out into the vastness, over the endless seeming forest while your heart pounded up your throat and your legs turned into jelly. You could feel the lump in your throat growing bigger before the first tears started to roll down your face and shivering breaths fell from your legs. What the fuck were you supposed to do now? All this pain, all this helplessness and loneliness from the past months was washing up again, keeping you from being able to think clearly. “Fuck”, you cursed to yourself, trying to wipe the tears from your cheeks while you had no clue what you were supposed to feel now. His confession turned everything upside down. You just stood shivering there, so overwhelmed by everything that you couldn’t really think or do anything else. Tears kept falling down your face while your shivering breaths filled the air for what felt like an eternity until you had calmed yourself a little down and stared into the sky.  You had to go back in to him at some point, even though you had no damn clue what to do or say to him. You felt frustrated and relieved at the same time, hurt and glad at the same time, felt like running away and towards him at the same time. And the only way to know what you’d truly do or find out what the dominant emotion was, was to go back and face him.  It took you a few more minutes until you felt just ready enough to peel you away from the railing and move back inside, step by step while your whole body tightened and tensed with every bit you got back closer to him. Finally, you stood in front of the large doors once more, could feel yourself starting to reach for its handle, trying to prepare yourself as you started to open it and slowly moved back inside. You glimpsed up the moment you heard the door crush back into its lock and saw Negan staring at you, slowly standing up from his spot on the couch, a look of uncertainty covering his face.  You could feel the lump in your throat growing back as you were urged to look at him, feel all these emotions crushing with all their force back onto you, releasing all what you had suppressed before once more.  Tears shot back into your eyes regardless of how much you tried to suppress them, forcing the pictures of your lonely self back into your head, of the way you’d closed yourself off and stayed on your own, too scared to trust. “You know that I kept pushing everybody away after you left, because I didn’t trust myself around people anymore?”, it suddenly slipped out of your trembling lips as you moved forwards, tears falling down your cheeks as Negan’s face twisted in guilt,”Because I thought I’d been so wrong about you?” He stepped a little closer while your lips trembled and more tears kept coming, elicited by the memories that popped back up, over and over again. “I’ve been so lonely these past months, because-”, your voice hushed, forced by the lump as you sniffled and felt yourself breaking out in tears, desperately trying to get yourself back under control. “I-”, you heard Negan say, cutting himself off, at loss of words as he moved towards you, slow and carefully until you could see him right in front of you. What happened next was more of a blur as he reached out towards you with one hand, careful and half expecting for you to swat it away again but instead, you let him, a part of you just craving to not feel lost anymore. His fingers met your arm, his palms curling softly around it and his touch made a shiver run down your spine, so comfortable even though it should have been chilling. Slowly, Negan started to pull you towards him, starting to cautiously wrap his arms around you and pull you into his embrace. You shivered more for a moment, confused by the touch that felt familiar and foreign at the same time. This was your very first hug after he’d left and his scent and his warmth felt overwhelming and you felt more than ever how much you had missed to feel the touch of someone. And still, exactly this touch let everything break more out of you and let the whimpers turn into sobs, finally releasing all this tension and pain that you’d bottled up. “I’m sorry”, you could hear Negan mumble into your hair as he tightened his embrace around you slowly, letting you lay your head into the curve of his neck and nearly feel how hard his heart was pounding in his chest,”I’m so sorry.” His voice was filled to the rim with emotions too, so much that it sounded like he was on the edge of crying too and you could barely get what you were doing right now.  Just an hour ago you would have attempted to rip his head off if he’d just tried to hold you and now you laid shivering and sobbing against him, wrapped up in his arms, with your nose nuzzled into his warm neck. It didn’t mean that you were forgiving and forgetting everything, you had problems getting over the fact that you were letting him so close in again and risked that he could hurt you again, but after being lonely for so long, you couldn’t describe how much you craved this and felt like you needed to use this as a valve to let everything out once for all. “I missed you, so so fucking much”, you heard him mutter into your hair, and the sound in his voice actually pushed you to believe him. There was still an seething anger within you, and it wouldn’t just leave, not after your thoughts and pain had fed into it for months, but you just wanted to try and look at the fact that he had made a mistake but had tried everything to change it and find you. Maybe he really had been who you always thought he was. He’d just been scared. He didn’t say anything more for a while, just held you while you sobbed into him until your exhaustion forced you to turn the sobs back into small whimpers, and lay trembling against his tall figure. Negan slowly moved his hands up, one first reaching up to caress his thumb over the side of your face before both gently grabbed you and moved you out of the curve of his neck to look at him. His thumbs were brushing over your cheeks, trying to get the wetness softly off of them while you could see the tears shimmering in his eyes as well. “I’m so fucking sorry”, he mumbled again, while his touch made it feel like your heart skipped a beat again and you tried to push all the scenarios you’d assumed about him over the last time out of your head to take in the reality. “Can we sit down and talk again? A little more?”, Negan gulped, a fear whirling through his glance that you’d rarely seen so clearly in him.  You slowly started to nod, just following your instincts for now while you tried to shut down your head for a little. Relief spread over Negan’s face, though he still stayed tense as his hands fell from your face and instead, one of them started to reach of your hand, first brushing in a testing way against yours before he grasped it carefully. You let him, not retracting it this time and allowed him to lead you over to the couch, sit down into the soft, black leather after him while his hand stayed wrapped around yours.  “I wished I could turn back time. I can’t, but I wish so fucking much that I could”, he started, running his free hand over his face before he glimpsed back at you and gulped thickly. “Leaving was one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made in my damn life, if not the biggest of ‘em all”, he mumbled, trying to hold your glance ,”I know I can’t make it up to you but if you let me, I’ll do my fucking best to get close to it.” You looked at him, still feeling the warmth of his hand as his hazel eyes glimpsed at you and you could feel yourself starting to nod, longing to finally find peace and happiness again, though there was still something in you making sure that you didn’t risk too much and got hurt again, though everything made you assume that he meant it. “I just-”,you started, looking at your intertwined hands for a moment before you gulped thickly,”I need to process this first...just do it all slowly.” “Of course”, Negan nodded, his voice calm, soothing and most importantly genuine, ”Take as much time as you need.” It got quiet for a moment as you sat there with him on the couch, a part of you still not realizing that this was actually happening. You could feel Negan’s thumb starting to slowly brush over your skin in a soothing and yet still cautious manner, trying to show you some affection and give you the space you needed at the same time. “Y’know wanna make something out of this place, I haven’t been on fucking top for long, there’s still so much to change”, he eventually started, clearing his throat a little as his glance caught yours again ,”I...I wanna change this into one of these places we used to talk about and fuckin’ wished we could find.” It let a small shiver run down your back, hearing him talk about the past but at the same time, it gave you the feeling that this place might really hold your future in it, a better one than you could have ever thought of during the last months. “I’ll make sure you and your people will get good rooms”, Negan went on, holding your hand a little tighter for a moment, as if he was trying to make sure that you knew that he meant it and was already starting with his first steps to prove it to you,”You’re all gonna be cared for, you’ll get all you could possibly need.” “Thank you”, you mumbled only to see Negan quickly starting to shake his head. “There’s no damn need for that”, he quickly said, letting out an almost nervous breath as he looked at you,”Fuck, I gotta thank you for giving me a new chance.” For the first time since you got here, you felt yourself starting to crack a smile that got immediately mirrored by Negan, as the smile that had always spread warmth through you began to tug slightly on the corners of his lips. “I’ll use it to the fullest goddamn extent, I promise”, he assured again, holding onto your hand while you tried to let yourself relax a little more and lean into his touch.  You still had to get used to it again and you were sure that it would take its time, similarly with your trust to him. You needed to move towards each other in baby steps again, give yourself enough time to fight the demons in you and the fears and mistrust they carried with themselves so you could start to feel safe and comfortable enough to let yourself fall again.  You just wanted to process this all first and give yourself the chance to let the reality of what had actually happened take the top spot in your head instead of all the other torturous scenarios that had kept your head under control for months. You just wanted to be able to finally give yourself the chance for a better future, even though it would take time and effort to get to it.  You hoped that with the closure, the answers to your questions and the new opportunities that presented themselves, you’d be able to let the pain that had become your everlasting companion fade, and instead make room for the things you had missed the most; pure happiness, laughs so intense that they made your belly hurt and the feeling of being safe and wanted.  And for the very first time after all these months, you felt like these things were reachable again, no matter the hard work that was needed to get them.  For the very first time after all these months, you felt like you could start to free yourself from the cuffs of the past and step into a new, better life, together with Negan.

________

Lyrics (Unless Tumblr screwed the fonts up, the bolt words below are those that I especially used in this imagine!) I can see you standin', honey With his arms around your body Laughin' but the joke's not funny at all And it took you five whole minutes To pack us up and leave me with it Holdin' all this love out here in the hall I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending You're not my homeland anymore So what am I defendin' now? You were my town Now I'm in exile seein' you out I think I've seen this film before Hoo, hoo-ooh Hoo, hoo-ooh Hoo, hoo-ooh I can see you starin', honey Like he's just your understudy Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me Second, third, and hundredth chances Balancin' on breaking branches Those eyes add insult to injury I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending I'm not your problem anymore So who am I offending now? You were my crown Now I'm in exile seein' you out I think I've seen this film before So I'm leavin' out the side door So step right out There is no amount Of cryin' I can do for you All this time We always walked a very thin line You didn't even hear me out (You didn't even hear me out) You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) All this time I never learned to read your mind (Never learned to read my mind) I couldn't turn things around (You never turned things around) 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) So many signs So many signs (You didn't even see the signs) I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending You're not my homeland anymore So what am I defending now? You were my town Now I'm in exile seein' you out I think I've seen this film before So I'm leaving out the side door So step right out There is no amount Of cryin' I can do for you ___________ The gif is not mine. I found it on google so all credit to the original owner!

#Negan #twd #the walking dead #negan x reader #twd negan #negan imagine #negan imagines #twd imagine #twd imagines #negan fluff #negan angst #the walking dead imagines #negan's network #nts #thewalkingdead-imagines #negan one shot #negan the walking dead

[vivinightingale]

You know what I wanna see with the Yu-Gi-Oh! Boys? Having to deal with their s/o putting themselves in danger! The boys throw themselves into the ocean, nearly get crushed to death, almost fall off a building, escape being burned alive or having their legs cut off. It's time for them to have the tables turned!

My my how the turn tables-

Warning ⚠️ this one contains abuse on Marik Ishtars part. If you are uncomfortable with it please skip it.

Yugi Muto:

You knew how cruel Domino high can be, with the constant bullying and corrupt teachers no day was ever easy. Especially for your boyfriend Yugi.

You didn’t know what it was, but a lot of people that it was okay for them to hurt him, and he would take cause he is too nice to say anything.

Well one day you had enough, and as this gang of bullies went to throw a punch at him you stepped in and took the blows for him.

When the dust settled and they were gone you were left bloodied and bruised on the floor. Yugi was quickly at your side call his friends to help take you to the nurse.

The poor guy was sobbing and trying his best to help you when his friends finally arrived. He has never been so heartbroken in his life and hated himself for not being able to help you.

Yugi doesn’t remember what happened after that, but he heard the next day that bullies were nowhere to be seen.

Yami/Atem:

A battle against PaniK was no easy feat considering he was to wipe people out the competition.

So watching you duel against his was hard for Yami, and it got even worse when the fire was spewing beside you.

He wanted nothing more to step in and take over the duel for you but he couldn’t. It got worse when with every second the flames licked at your legs the more burns you got.

By the time the duel was over you were covered in burn marks and no star chips. Yami called out your name as he rushed to you his friends not to far behind him.

He clutched your form as hot angry tear ls ran down his face. “I will not stand for this PaniK!” He glared up at the taller man.

“We will duel and you will give back Mai’s and (y/n) star chips!”

The battle didn’t last long as Yami wiped the floor with and took the star chips back, but to make sure PaniK would never do something like this again he sent him to the shadow realm.

He then went back to your still resting form and kissed your forehead gently pained that he let something like this ever happen to you.”

Joey Wheeler:

His fight with Marik was more devastating then he cared to admit. When he thought he had the upper had it was taken from him.

You watched from the sidelines and felt your heart wrench with every hit he took, and it got worse when Marik summoned Ra.

When Marik called his final attack you could take it anymore. So in an act of desperation you climbed up the stage and blocked the attack with your own body.

Joey and the group watch in horror as you took the blow from and Egyptian god. You clamped your jaw down hard and stood firm till the attack was over.

As you fell Joey caught and called out to you. Tears fell from his face as he tried to wake you up. It was announced that Joey was disqualified due to your interference, but he didn’t care he didn’t have the time.

He quickly picked you up and took you to the doctor. He kept trying wake up on the way there is voice frantic and pleading.

When the doctor came to the conclusion that it was a coma is when he sobbed hard. How could he let something like this happen to you? He should have stopped you!

He stayed with you all night and for most of Yugi’s duel, and when you finally woke up was he hugged you tightly “Don’t you EVER do that again!”

Tristan Taylor:

With as many fights as he has been in due gangs you would think that you would be use to seeing him hurt.

But you never were with hit took the more you worried about him and his health. So you tried to talk him out of it.

He promised you that he would stop fighting, but that was easier said then done. Especially since the gangs wouldn’t leave him alone.

You watched as he was caught in the middle of another fight, and you weren’t a fighter yourself so the best you could was yell at them to stop.

But that wasn’t enough. So as Tristan was nearly wobbling ready to take another hit you stepped in and acted as his shield.

The punch to your stomachs hurt but you stood firm. You weren’t gonna let the man you love be hurt anymore.

Luckily for you, you shocked the attacker and that was the opening Tristan needed to knock the mans lights out.

As the two of you hobbled home Tristan slung an arm around “it was brave of you...but please don’t do that again...”

Duke Devlin:

The fight with Nezbitt was anything but easy. He played to their weaknesses, and attacked the weaker link.

With that being said that left Duke to fend for himself and the other two, and that made you worried and upset for your boyfriend and friends.

You got so worried that you offered to take Tristans place after he fell, because they were desperate for more bodies Nezbitt accepted.

You blocked and helped your boyfriend and serenity to the best of your abilities, cause you to lose more life points.

Duke tried to yell at you stop, that he was willing to take the blow for the two of you but you weren’t having any of it.

So when Nezbitt aimed a huge attack at duke you knew what you had to do to keep him safe. You use you monster to block the attack knocking out your LP

All you remember is waking in an electronic cats body. You followed Tristan and found your friends and boyfriend.

After the events Duke held your face in his hands and kisses you roughly “please I can’t lose you... don’t do that again.”

Seto Kaiba:

You didn’t know if you believed Noah’s story, but you didn’t like how he was using Mokuba against Seto.

The battle between Seto and Noah was getting scary and you didn’t like the look of it. You were there with Yugi’s group of friends as they commentated on what was going on but you could hear it.

When Mokuba finally came to his sense you were so happy that you were in tears, but that was short lived as Noah Aimee his sights at the brothers

Fearing what was gonna happen, you ran past them and held your arms out taking the blow that was meant for them.

Seto and Mokuba watched in horror as you were turned to stone as Noah laughed in the background. “To think someone actually wanted to protect you Seto.”

That was the last straw for the young CEO. He sent Mokuba with Yugi and his friends as he glared at the deck master in front of him.

“Your games end her Noah.”

When you woke up Mokuba ran up to crying your name as he hugged you, and before you could ask Seto pulled you both into a protective hug. “Don’t do something so stupid again”

Bakura Ryou:

Bakura was never much of a fighter, and he never claimed to be. So when this tall guy tells the poor boy he wants to fight for stealing his girlfriend he is a bit shaken up.

He was gonna simply ignore it and move on with his day till he got a not in his locker stating that they had you.

He couldn’t allow anything to happen to you, so he went to the set location that the boy wanted to meet at.

Seeing you with someone else hold your hands behind you back made him furious. Glaring at the boy he tried to resolve the misunderstanding but it was in vain.

Though Bakura was agile and quick the boy still landed hits on him, and terrible hit they were.

You watch from afar as Bakura and the guy faught you wanted to stop it but didn’t know how. So you watched in tears.

When Bakura took a nasty hit and was on the ground was when you were able to break free from you captors and block anymore hits from landing on Bakura.

You took a few hits of your own but eventually the bully got board and left yelling at Bakura to leave his girl alone. All the two of you could do was hold each other till everything was okay again.

Yami Bakura:

Everyone knew this man cared for nothing but himself and his plan. So when they learned he an s/o they were all surprised.

They way everyone found out was not the normal way either. One of his duels got really physical when joey learned he would be sent to the shadow realm if he lost.

Yami Bakura isn’t use to fighting so when took blows from Joey they were hard blows. You tried to call to Joey to stop, but your voice didn’t reach.

So as a last resort you ran in between them and block Bakura from the punch. Unfortunately for you he hit you hard enough to send you to the ground.

At the sight of your fallen form Yami Bakura grew angry and hostile. The shadow grow angry as Yami Bakura came up to him and grabbed the collar of his shirt.

“You will pay for the crime you committed against (y/n)”

You don’t know how the battle ended but you woke up in the arms of Yami Bakura carrying back home.

“You will never pull a stunt like that ever again.” Was all he grumbled as he held to close all the way home.

Marik Ishtar:

Living with his father was never easy, especially when he got angry when Marik didn’t want to do as he was told.

Marik suffered many beating from his father, and you witnessed every one of them, and you hated it.

So one day Mariks father was yelling at him, and you noticed his hand raise to strike a blow at Marik you stepped in and took the hot for him.

Marik gasped at the sight of your form on the floor, your face red from the blow. However, your act of your courage gained you a beating of your own.

After you were take back to your room to recover from it. A litt but after Marik sneaked in to see you.

When he saw the state you were in he immediately began sobbing .

“Why would you do that! You know how harsh father can be!”

You didn’t say anything as you smiled at him. Marik didn’t like that response but stayed at your side till you were better once again.

Yami Marik:

The battle between Yami Marik and the Pharaoh was coming to a close, and you were terrified of the outcome. You didn’t want to lose the man you loved.

So out of act of desperation you instered yourself in to the duel and used your life points to power Ra.

Most of you was in the shadow realm as you watched Marik best the Pharaoh and claim his victory. So in turn you were very weak and ended up passing out before you could see the aftermath

You don’t know how long you were out, but when you woke up again you were laying down on a very comfortable bed with Yami Marik right beside you.

You heard shuffling as Marik grip around you tightend slightly. “You have served me well doll, but don’t ever do that again or I will leave you there”

You nodded knowing he only said those words out of worry. You snuggled up to him and fell back asleep dreaming of the rest your lives together.

#yugioh #yu-gi-oh #yami yugi #yu gi oh x reader #yugi mutou #pharaoh atem #seto kaiba #yugi moto #yugioh dm #yugioh x reader #yugi x reader #yami yugi x reader #joey wheeler #joey wheeler x reader #triston taylor #tristan taylor x reader #duke devlin #duke devlin x reader #seto kaiba x reader #ryou bakura #ryou bakura x reader #yami bakura #yami bakura x reader #marik ishtar #marik x reader #yami marik #yami marik x reader

[galaeus]

OKAY AS PROMISED HERE IS THE VERY DISORGANIZED BULLETPOINT MASTERLIST OF 

“HOW I FEEL ECHO J. GALAEUS WOULD GET ON WITH THE CANON CHARACTERS OF MASS EFFECT”

long post so you can read it under the cut. (in order of me1 to me2)

THE COUNCIL / ALLIANCE

lmfao absolutely not, she cannot stand those hypocritical donuts

also fun fact, her dad left Contraxia and wound up serving the alliance on a refugee grant leaving his child and baby mama to rot so that’s a lot of baggage to be had

COMMANDER SHEPARD

This is completely up in the air because there are a ton of Shepards on indie and they’re all unique and fantastic, but I will drop that Echo respects fighters. Shepard is a fighter and a strong willed person, so I don’t doubt that she’d respet the shit out of any Commander.

ASHLEY WILLIAMS

Debatable. Ashley has a pretty strong background of family and religion and Echo tends to shun her Contraxian culture/has little to no feeling when it comes to her own family ties back home. They may be something of adversaries given they are both strong-willed and outspoken individuals.

KAIDAN ALENKO

Echo is pretty neutral to Kaidan, but given her ties with Cerberus, I don’t think he would be neutral with her. Dude certainly believes in a cause and she can respect that, but I don’t know if he would want to associate with her. Plus there’s that pesky problem she has with Alliance so they will most likely butt heads.

LIARA T’SONI

Echo is more than likely very intimidated by how smart Liara is (that woman is wicked intelligent) but that wouldn’t necessarily be any reason for her not to speak with Liara. They both have mommy issues, so that’s a bonus. If anything, she finds Liara to be a very brave and honorable individual so she’s equal parts nervous around her as well as respectable.

GARRUS VAKARIAN

This is a tough one and it depends on the timeline. With her father being Alliance, she tends to not think too highly about C-Sec. However, they both have major daddy issues to deal with, so maybe that’s enough to bring neutral ground. He’s a ruthless fighter and she respects the hell out of any fighter she comes across.

ME2 Archangel status, I do enjoy the concept that she knew of him/perhaps even crossed paths with him when she was in the midst of her gig as a hunter-for-hire on Omega before Cerberus snatched her up. She has a bit of a revenge list of old ring-runner/betting pools she’s tracking down for soul-sake that she wants murdered, so I wonder if she’d come to him for help? Otherwise they’d meet on the Normandy. Turians/Contraxians like fighting, so that’s A+.

URDNOT WREX

I seriously do not doubt that Echo and Wrex have stumbled into each other at some point or another. He’s a Krogan, Krogans love Contraxia’s lawless wasteland of fighting and chaos, so I feel as though they would have a pretty interesting bond. Bonus points if he actually knew her when she was a fighter on Contraxia!

TALI’ZORAH

Granted she’s intimidated by very smart people (see: Liara) but I think her and Tali have the opportunity to get along great. Quarians and Contraxians are treated as second-class citizens, so I think she would want to make an alliance with Tali strictly due to the fact that their people are very much frowned upon in most corners of the universe.

JOKER

For the love of god do not make puns around her or she will break the coffee machine.

MIRANDA LAWSON

MISS MIRANDA, DID YOU PICK UP ECHO FROM OMEGA ON BEHALF OF THE ILLUSIVE MAN?

Ok but in all seriousness Echo digs that Miranda has zero qualms with stating that she’s the best at what she does because while Echo is shameful of the people she’s murdered (hello, 33 very personal deaths in the gladiator arena) she also knows she is highly capable at what she’s good at. They have both been used and abused in many different ways, so I’d be curious if they had a partnership grow for those little things or if they would butt head strictly on the principle that Miranda is pretty poised and Echo is... not. I would love to explore it.

JACOB TAYLOR

ALLIANCE DADDY ISSUES UNITE. Okay but can they please bond over the fact that their dads were in Alliance and, while he joined Alliance to follow his legacy, Echo basically got the shit end of the stick as a gladiator? Plus he’s super skilled at fighting. I think she’ll like him.

GRUNT

Again, like Wrex, I have a feeling Echo will like Grunt. Krogans love fighting and they love Contraxia’s nature and debauchery, so I think eventually they would warm up to one another and be amicable.

MORDIN SOLUS

Mordin talks much too fast and confusing for Echo to understand him but she appreciates his matter-of-fact nature -- even if it takes her a while to get used to it. Echo tends to take a lot of things literally, so it works out that it’s so neat and plain in front of her when they speak.

JACK

heart eyes motherfucker

No seriously these two both have bodies painted with ink that talk about their past and I SCREAM about it. However, Echo’s champion mark tattoos were involuntary, but she was allowed to choose the design after a kill/winning fight. Jack was also involuntarily held for so much of her childhood just as Echo was held against her will to fight against her peers as she grew up, so they have some very fucked up childhood problems to comb through. They both have really intense viewpoints of the world and tend to be loners, so I would love to see if they royally hate each other or if they become complete and utter nuisances on the galaxy.

KASUMI GOTO

She’s gonna be super gay for Kasumi and think she’s like the greatest person to talk to I can already feel it in my bones and I am so sorry for the simping that could be had here.

LEGION

Oh god has Contraxia ever even been bothered by the Geth? I have no idea. It would be interesting if she came into meeting him with an open mind, because he is an interesting character. Plus there is always the battle of ‘we are legion’ vs her individualistic nature, so I think it would be a neat dynamic to explore.

THANE KRIOS

She knows of him. Like I guarantee she knows of him because his skill would be revered where she’s from (Contraxians really put assassins/fighters on the top of their respect list) and I think because of that, she would be open to discussing her former life. Plus there is almost... repentence? in getting to know Thane? He hates what he’s done just as much as she loathes what she had to do in order to survive her life as a gladiator, so I wonder if she would actually get spiritual and real with him behind closed doors where the rest of the crew cannot hear the crimes she’s committed against humanity.

SAMARA

Big gay and scared of you. That’s all I can say about her right now skdfjsf

ZAEED MASSANI

I have a feeling these two have definitely crossed paths, even if it was before the Normandy. They’re both bounty hunters (though her assassin/hunter stint was short-lived given Cerberus picked her up for their own usage) and they’ve both been scarred by war in one way or another, so I’m curious to see if they become neutral acquaintances.

TIM / THE ILUSIVE MAN

While indebted to him for picking her up in the middle of Omega running around as a hunter-for-hire, she is fearful she traded one cage for another. That being said I think she’d buy into whatever he was telling her to do and do it without questioning because it’s better than what her old life used to be.

#mass effect rp #this took me like over 2 hours to write up lmfao #HONESTLY USE IT IF YOU WANNA PLOT WITH HER #OC'S WE WILL FIGURE OUT AS WE GO ALONG #but i'm excited to plot with whomever xo #long post cw

[marvels-agents100]

tenant of tartarus

you were my crown, now i’m in exile, seeing you out

pairing: aaron hotchner x gender neutral ! reader

warnings: the big sad, manipulative behavior, toxic relationship

word count: 2,520

request: one shot based on ‘exile’, from taylor swift’s new album, folklore

author’s note: mr first request ! this hurt to write so prepare yourself

His hands used to feel so warm, so inviting. His skin used to be so soft and gentle. But, as time passed by in an unforgiving pace, the sunlight he shone onto you dimmed into the flicker of a candle, the winds of wasted time rolling off cold shoulders and whisking away the small amount of light emitted from the single flame. All that was left was the cold, dark wasteland of what once was.

A burdened sigh left you, your cheek resting on your fist, elbow propped on the armrest of the couch. The only light in the room was that of the television screen, its ocean hue lining your tired features. Your eyes stared nowhere in particular, looking at the screen before you but not necessarily watching it.

The click of the deadbolt did little to shock you out of your stupor, the hinges creaking as the door opened. Aaron stepped inside, his briefcase finding it home beside the door as it clicked shut. He barely spared you a glance as he shed his suit jacket.

“Hey,” you broke the silence, gaze finally flickering towards him.

His jacket was slung over his arm, the gun on his side finding it’s way into its small safe, “Hi.”

“There’s leftovers in the fridge, if you’re hungry,” you said quietly, eyes following him as he settled into the apartment. He walked behind the couch, hand coming to rest on your shoulder as his lips pressed a chaste kiss on the top of your head.

“Thank you,” he mumbled into your hair, before disappearing down the hallway leading to the bedroom.

His touch left no searing heat on your shoulder, his kiss doing little to the beating of your heart.

His love- if you could even call it that- had trouble filling a space it once occupied, and it was the most awful, terrible thing.

You could no longer decipher the complicated feelings you had towards him; all you could feel was complete and utter exhaustion.

“What happened?” Your feet carried you into the bedroom without your consent, the question that had been festering in your mind for months tumbling from your lips without reserve.

He sighed, hands coming to rest on his hips, “You know I don’t like talking about cases at home-“

“I don’t mean on the case,” you interrupted, “I mean to us. You’re distant, I’m distant, and neither of us seem to care.”

“That’s unfair,” he protested. 

“How is that unfair?” Your volume was beginning to rise, the inevitable fight creeping into the room. 

“Because you know what I do, how much time my job takes,” his voice raised with yours, “you can’t call me distant when it’s out of my control.”

“I wasn’t talking about your job, Aaron,” you were sure your yelling carried through the walls, “I was talking about how you barely acknowledge my existence when you’re home.”

“Oh,” he laughed humorlessly, holding his palms up in mock surrender, “well, I’m sorry I’m not completely fine when I come home,” he took his tie off his neck angrily, “I watch people die, and sometimes I’m the one pulling the trigger. How would you feel after that?”

“I’m not asking for you to give me the world,” tears began to burn and your eyes and you could feel your throat tighten, “but, God, I want to feel like I occupy even a fraction of your thoughts.”

He sighed, a hand running down his features. With a small, rushed glance at you, he walked into the closet, hand fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. You followed him, a tear escaping onto your cheek.

“Are you going to say anything?” You asked exasperatedly, hands out to your side, emphasizing your words.

“What do you want me to say?” His eyebrows sat low on his forehead, “I can apologize, but I have a feeling that you won’t be forgiving until I give up the thing that comes between us.”

You scoffed, “I have never asked you to quit the BAU.”

“You don’t need to ask.”

His shirt floated to the ground, landing upon the rest of his worn, wrinkled clothes, his belt buckle rattling as he removed it from his waist. You stood in the doorway of the closet, arms crossed and eyes focused on the floor, tears falling from your face onto the carpet below your feet. The silence in the air was tense, the only sound being the ruffling of fabric as Aaron untucked his shirt.

“Look,” he said, quietly, “I can try to put in more effort, but I can’t say I’m sorry for doing what I do. I won’t apologize for who I am.”

“You just don’t get it, do you?” Your eyes finally snapped up to meet his. 

“What?”

“I’m not asking for you to be a perfect partner, I’m not asking for you to be one hundred percent here, all the time,” your words were spilling over, bubbling from your chest in a way that was beyond your control, “I am just asking for you to care, to be here when you are here and there when you are there.”

“I’m trying!”

“It doesn’t feel like you are!”

“What more do you want me to do?” His arms were extended to his sides, “I can’t stop working, there are people who are dying everyday-“

“Don’t do that, Aaron,” you warned lowly, your finger pointed towards him, “don’t use the people you save as an excuse for your treatment of me. You’re a good man, and I won’t ever deny that, but you don’t have to be so damn shrewd.”

“Oh, so I’m shrewd for wanting to help others?” He countered.

“No,” you seethed, “you’re shrewd for using them to guilt me into forgiving you.”

He sighed, head shaking as he looked away from you. Ripping a pair of sweatpants from the shelf beside him, he pushed past you back into the bedroom. You turned with his movement, eyes following him as he circled to his side of the bed.

“I don’t know what to say,” he shrugged, finally meeting your gaze, “I don’t know how to fix this.”

“Do you even want to?” You choked out, arms falling limply to your sides. Every bit of you felt defeated, and the dread that had been sitting in your stomach fully consumed you. It was the tell tale sign of the end, a fight like that.

His lack of an answer was an answer within itself.

“Do you still love me?” You voice was softer for that question. His angry expression broke into one of complete sorrow.

“I always will,” he whispered, “there will never be a day that I stop loving you.”

You breathed deeply, wiping chastely at your dampened cheeks, “When did you decide to stop showing it?”

His head bowed down in shame, the great of the beating in his chest echoing through the room. There was no arguing, he knew. Any word he shouted would be countered with your own. The end had made an appearance in his life before, and the dark, stormy feelings eating away at his mind were a painful reminder of a woman he had lost long ago.

You let yourself cry, because you knew. You knew that night would be the last time you saw him, the last time you stood in that bedroom, the last time you witnessed the way he wore the moonlight like a blanket. He was a good man, and he had been good to you, but you had to worry for your own happiness before his. It’s what everyone has to do- care for themselves before they can care for anyone else.

Happiness used to live in the laughter you shared with him, in the morning sun that leaked through the curtains and onto your shared bed. The way he held you and the way he kissed you used to be the reason you rose every morning, hands soft like the breeze over a blossoming field, kisses hot with shared breath. 

But, every sun will set, and every flower will die. And just like the way the beauty of autumn falls victim to unrelenting winter every year, the rapid beating of your heart and warm feeling in your chest ran away at the sight of his fading love.

He wanted to reach out and hold you, comfort you, but he knew it would offer no help. So, he let you cry. He let you release the emotions you were holding, and he didn’t make any attempt of stopping the outpour.

However the small, sleepy voice of Jack Hotchner did.

“Dad?” He called quietly, perched nervously in the doorway. His eyes darted from Aaron to you, the upturn of his eyebrows making his soft eyes look so, incredibly sad.

You stopped your cries, wiping away the tears that stained your face and turning away from the little boy you had come to love dearly.

“Jack,” Aaron breathed, crossing the room quickly, “buddy, why are you up? It’s late.”

“I heard you yelling,” his voice was so small, so innocent, it almost broke you again.

“I’m sorry,” Aaron whispered, kneeling before his son and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, “we were just talking, everything’s okay. Go get some rest, you have school tomorrow.”

Jack looked at you, your back still to him. Despite his father’s plea, he walked towards you, his small hand reaching to touch the back of your arm. The contact made you turn towards him eyes red and impossibly glossed over, heartbreak written in your expression. Jack smiled sadly at you, fisting the fabric of your shirt and tugging on it slightly. 

“Can you tuck me in?” He asked, and it was that question that took your already damaged heart and crushed it completely.

“Of course, baby,” your voice was watery and your smile was shaky, but the toothy grin he gave you was holding together the rickety scaffolding that you called your composure.

You followed Jack to his room, keeping your eyes away from Aaron as you passed him. The soft light of Jack’s night light gave the room a soft yellow glow, just enough for visibility, but not too much that it prevented sleep. Jack hopped into his bed, digging himself into the covers and sitting against his pillows. You found a spot by the edge of the bed, hands pulling the blanket to cover the boy a little more.

“I’m sorry we woke you up,” you apologized, your hand running through his blonde hair.

“Are you gonna leave?” He asked quietly, completely disregarding your statement.

You paused before answering, “I don’t know, baby,” you held his hands, “love can be tricky, sometimes.”

“Okay,” the sadness in his voice made you want to hold him, “I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’m sorry, love bug,” you struggled to keep yourself together, “just know that no matter what, I love you, okay?”

“I love you,” he answered, nodding slightly. You wrapped him in a hug, holding him to you like you would never see him again, because in all actuality, there was a chance you wouldn’t. With a small kiss to his forehead, he laid on his pillow before turning over and closing his eyes.

You turned to take one more look at him before leaving the room, trying to memorize the way his hugs always felt warm, the way his laughter could bring a smile to anyone’s face. He was such a good kid, and losing him from your life was something that was unfathomably painful.

Reaching the bedroom once more, you found Aaron sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows rested on his knees.

“I think I should go,” you said quietly, eyes focused on the carpet below your feet.

He looked up at you, sad eyes already glossy, “Do you mean-“

“Yeah,” you interrupted.

“Is there anything I can say?” He pleaded, voice heavy with tears.

“I don’t-,” you hesitated, “I’m just so tired, Aaron. I’m exhausted.”

He didn’t answer, just dropped his head once more, gaze trained on the ground.

You moved swiftly, packing the things you had moved to his apartment, since you stayed there so often with Jack. It was easy enough, and you were silently thankful that you hadn’t fully moved in. Of course, you would’ve said yes if he asked you- it was a normal step for people who had been together for over a year- but he never asked.

A duffel bag and a backpack was enough to carry your belongings, and you set them by the door with a soft thud. You walked to Aaron, still on the edge of the bed, and placed a soft hand on his shoulder. He looked up at you, cheeks wet and eyes rosy.

“If you need any help with Jack, I’m here,” your fingers carded through his hair, relishing in the way he felt for the last time, “goodbye, Aaron.”

“Please,” he choked out.

You leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead, just like you had done to Jack.

“Goodbye,” you whispered onto his skin, before pulling away, gathering your bags, and walking through the door.

He stayed where he was long after he heard the front door close. There was no desire to move, no desire to chase you, no desire to profess how much he wanted you to stay. Everything he felt was numb, and the lack of any pain almost disgusted him. What did you mean to him, if he felt nothing when you were gone?

He shook his head to push that thought away, because he knew what you meant. He loved you, with everything he was, but you were right. You were right in saying that he didn’t prioritize you, he didn’t strive to show you how you were needed in his life. You leaving was simply karma balancing the mistreatment he had inflicted upon you.

He thought of Jack, of how sad he was going to be. Of how much he would miss you. Of how much he loved you. He worried that Jack felt the same feelings you did. Never in his life did he want his son to feel unloved, or unworthy, or unimportant. Did his tendency to be cold and serious carry over into his life with his son?

Everything just felt wrong, it all felt empty. The moonlight wasn’t comforting, it was a spotlight of judgment sneaking through the curtains. The stars didn’t shine, they twinkled dimly before burning out within the light pollution of the city. The sheets he used to share with you, the sheets he used to love you in, were just linens, cold and rough and uninviting. Everything was wrong, and he had no clue how he was going to fix it.

His hands scrubbed down his face, a sigh leaving him. He had seen this film before, and he didn’t like ending then, and he definitely didn’t like it now. And there was no way he would be able to change it.

“You were my crown, now I’m in exile, seeing you out.”

taglist:

@quillvine​ @winterscaptain​ @agenthotchner​ @davidrossi-ismydad​ @misskirkstark​ @good-heavens-chris-evans​ @vintagecaptainspidey​

#aaron hotchner imagines #Aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #criminal minds

[harryandmolly]

fear and loathing in mandeville canyon *7* - final

A/N: thanks for hanging out, guys. always a pleasure 💜

summary: Shawn & Lilly, derailed, detoured, but maybe not destroyed

warnings: language, butter, adulting

wc: 5.6k

----------

Lilly takes shallow breaths, all her tight core will allow as she carefully raises her legs back up over her head. The pressure at the crown is almost unbearable -- she’s probably still not totally strong enough to support all her weight in her core and arms like this in a tripod headstand, but she’s never been able to successfully raise her legs off the floor. So she can ignore the pesky brain pulsing. For a few seconds.

Lilly huffs and lowers her legs slowly, spread as wide as she can get them, until her feet hit the floor, taking some of the weight off her head. She unfurls to sit, blinks quickly and grins, catching a glimpse of her bright eyes and flushed cheeks in the reflection of the open glass door. Lilly straightens her back and admires herself, strong and stable, the result of a lot of hard fucking work.

She completes her practice as directed by her perky online instructor and lies in supported fish pose a little longer than usual. She rolls her hips, noticing the way it affects each notch of vertebrae in her back.

Her phone buzzes beside her mat. Her nose twitches as she fights a smile. She glances at it, though she doesn’t need to to know who it is.

Shawn: you coming?

Lilly closes her eyes and types back by muscle memory.

Lilly: shhhhh I’m zen

She rests her phone on her stomach and enjoys the way the night breeze sifts through the room.

The phone makes an angrier but muffled sound on her skin. She checks it, expecting a whining plea or a series of emojis. Instead her jaw drops and she chokes on a breath and pushes herself to sit.

Lilly knows this house as well as her own now. She traces her fingers lovingly along the hallway walls as she winds her way down the stairs and follows the music. It’s Harry Styles, which explains a lot.

The sliding doors to the pool are unlatched but shut to keep out the dreaded mosquitos. It’s past dusk now, the sky will go from cobalt to midnight soon. The pool lights make the water glow a smooth, clean turquoise. It’s interrupted by the boy in the shallow end with his arms hanging on the side, wearing a smirk that barely contains a goofy grin.

Lilly toes carefully over the gravel, hissing as it bites at her feet. The song changes to “Watermelon Sugar,” which incidentally is very appropriate, given the contents of his last text. He notices it too and that smirk gets even dopier.

Lilly shakes her head and glides to the edge of the pool, curling her opalescent painted toes over the edge. She crosses her arms and waves her phone.

“Is this a tease or an actual invitation?”

Shawn lifts a shoulder coyly. He draws a hand into the water and wiggles his fingers through it, looking casual. “Both, I guess. I got you out here, didn’t I?”

Lilly laughs and nods, glancing around. He already grabbed towels for them both when he came out here an hour ago to do laps, part of his regular routine now.

She hears movement in the water and looks down to see him wading toward her. He blinks innocently through wet, dark lashes and places a gentle kiss to each of her big toes, then rests his cheek on her feet.

“Your sushi’s inside on the counter,” he murmurs.

Lilly nods. “I’ll get it later.”

While his eyes are down, Lilly lifts her ribbed crop tank over her head and tosses it on a nearby chair. He lifts his head in time to watch her bare nipples harden in the breeze. His eyes bulge.

“Uh oh, I’m in trouble now,” he teases, kicking off the wall to float on his back as he watches her undress. She wriggles out of her leggings and panties while keeping her eyes on the hills and valleys of his torso.

As she rounds the corner of the pool to take the stairs, Shawn straightens up, sniffing and pushing his hands back through his hair. He opens his arms to her. She walks right in, tucking her arms and legs around him. His content sigh is so heavy the water ripples around them.

His hands wander her back and tangle in the ends of her hair, which looks redder and silkier in the water. Their heads rest side by side like they each need the other to hold them up. Lilly turns her face into his ear, giving his cartilage a lick and greedily sniffling the chlorine in his hair.

“I’m pretty sure that’s the dirtiest text you’ve ever sent me.”

She feels him chuckle and holds him even tighter. He scoops his hands down around her ass and starts to wade deeper into the water.

“You inspire me,” Shawn whispers, swaying with her toward the edge, where he can pin her up against the tile wall. She hisses upon contact with the cool stone and he takes the opportunity to steal a kiss.

It’s languid, exploring. She’s pretty sure he knows better than to try to fuck her in the pool. That’s only hot in movies. She thinks maybe he just missed her.

“How’d it go today?” she hums.

“Good. Mostly. There are still a few pieces that need to come together for the first two tracks and I’m still not quite getting what I want for track eight, but it was productive.”

Despite their circumstances, Lilly and Shawn have been pseudo-functional adults lately. Once the tent (as they’ve taken to calling the makeshift recording booth) went up, Shawn buckled down to focus on recording and working with producers and the other musicians tracking instruments. Lilly has finally tossed herself full time into writing, breaking for yoga and snacks and to visit him, if she’s super quiet, which she’s not, so she always gets politely kicked out after a take or two.

“How ‘bout you?”

Lilly pecks at the corner of his mouth and nods. “Also good. I almost totally rewrote that scene from yesterday but honestly I feel a lot better about it. It has some life in it now.”

“Good,” Shawn purrs, aiming his lips down at her shoulder. She smiles and tilts her nose into his hair again. Greedy, greedy.

“And… I finally did it.”

Shawn lifts his head and watches her like her face will give him a clue. In a matter of seconds, he lights up.

“Shut the fuck up. The whole way?”

Lilly’s cheeks scrunch with the effort of her smile. “The whole way. Probably killed a bunch of brain cells, but I did it.”

“Lill, that’s nuts! That’s so awesome!” he cries, squeezing her tighter, “Shit, I wanted to film it! I was gonna put it on Insta and tag you as #fitspo!”

Lilly snorts and drops her forehead to rest against his. “What a fun way to announce us to the world.”

“That I’m having really hot yoga sex with my really hot, stretchy girlfriend? I love that for me.”

Lilly cackles, dropping her head back against the stone. Shawn plods kisses up her throat.

“Will you show me later?” he asks, speaking into her wet skin.

“Not tonight, you’re going to be very busy, remember?”

Shawn goes quiet and still for a moment, then jolts with a laugh. “Uh huh, right. So busy. All night long kinda busy.”

Lilly can’t hide her squirm. Shawn gathers her in off the wall so she’s plastered against him, their noses brushing.

“That’s the best kind of busy.”

+

“Don’t headbutt me, don’t headbutt me, don’t headbutt me…”

Lilly’s quite sure he can’t hear her, even though he’s lying on top of her. He refused to get out of bed to get the phone charging cord, so he rolled over onto Lilly, his head on her chest under the sheets, as his hand flails toward the ground.

Lilly’s face scrunches up as he grunts and wriggles.

“Don’t headbutt me, don’t--”

“Huh?”

Shawn lifts his head straight into Lilly’s chin, even as she tries at the last second to tilt it away. His enormous head smacks into the base of her jaw, making her clench down on her tongue. She wails.

“Shit! Fuck, I’m sorry!”

The cord is forgotten. Shawn pushes himself up over her and cups her jaw, nudging his lips over the bridge of her nose. He pulls back after a few seconds to inspect her.

Lilly swats at him. “Fuck. God, you’re like Megamind only… less blue. I think my tongue is bleeding.”

She sticks her tongue out and lifts her eyebrows. “Ih ih ee-ing?”

Shawn looks closer. “Nope.” He cradles her face in both hands and kisses her soundly, sliding his tongue against hers, pressing a warm sigh out of her sleepy morning body.

“There, all better,” he determines, folding himself down beside her.

“That’s as close to vampirism as I ever hope to get with you,” Lilly grumbles, reaching for her phone. She allows his apology kisses as she scrolls through Twitter and brushes her toes against his calf.

Her shoulders drop. She exhales and puts the phone down. The sheet comes up over her head. Shawn follows curiously.

“What?”

She’s quiet for a few seconds. “Lover Fest is cancelled.”

Shawn makes a murmur of acknowledgement and tucks his arm around her, pulling the covers higher over both of them. The morning light is diffused through the clean white sheet.

“You kinda knew it would be, though,” he points out, sounding dejected for her.

Lilly’s face crumples into a pout. “I mean, yeah, but I just think it sucks that the universe has chosen to keep me from Taylor. My spiritual big sister. My celestial homegirl. Fate keeps us apart and its cruelty is weighing on me.”

Lilly feels safe enough to get melodramatic in front of Shawn for several reasons, not the least of which is that he, too, can pitch an impressive fit when he wants to. He also chooses not to judge her for complaining about a cancelled concert when millions of people around the world are sick and dying, of which she’s well aware. The guilt hits her secondarily, a privilege in and of itself.

“I’m so gross. I have no right to be upset about this right now.”

Shawn lifts some coppery strands out of her face and tucks them behind her ear. “You’re allowed to care about both.”

Lilly remains grouchy and unconvinced.

“Plus, the universe can’t keep you from Taylor forever, since we’re friends.”

Lilly keeps her eyes down and sucks at her front teeth. Shawn nudges her.

“What?”

Lilly’s expression doesn’t change, save for her eyebrows lifting. Her eyes remain unfocused on her legs. Shawn noses at her temple. Her eyes shut.

“Lillian, what?”

Lilly squirms and lifts the sheet over their heads, letting the world back in. She slides out of his arms and out of the bed, crossing to the chair for her cozy shorts and a big shirt.

“... nothing. It’s nothing.”

She knows she’s not getting away with it, not even close. She doesn’t want to look at him to see just how much she’s not pulling this off.

“Baby, come on.”

Lilly takes a long moment to blink and turns to face him. He’s shirtless and flushed in their rumpled sheets. She tilts her head and sighs, drifting back to him. She gets a knee up on the bed and slides her fingers into his curls. They seem to hug around them like her hand belongs there. He’s staring up at her like a woodland creature.

“Nothing. We should stop fucking and go call our moms before they realize that we’re total heathens.”

Shawn swallows uneasily but seems ready to drop it, for now. He takes her wrist to his lips and chuckles.

“My mum already knows.”

“About you, maybe, not about me.”

Shawn smirks and releases her, watching Lilly trail off in search of a cozy phone spot.

“Tell your mom happy mother’s day from me,” he calls.

Lilly looks back at him as she pads down the hall. “And tell yours from me.”

+

Lilly watches, entranced, as each pat of butter melts seamlessly into the silky pot of mashed potatoes. She’s not thinking, she’s not measuring, just feeling. Butter. Butter. More butter. She adds a whole stick before she realizes what she’s doing. Her gaze darts over her shoulder. Shawn is facing away from her at the other countertop, muttering to himself as he pulls out ingredients for Yorkshire puddings. She mashes her lips together and turns back, whisking hard to incorporate all her sins.

Cooking has become nearly as meditative as yoga recently. After spending their first few weeks together abusing their bodies in different ways, cooking feels like healing now. The grill took them a few attempts to master, and they side-stepped some potentially life threatening disasters to do it, but now they char slabs of eggplant and zucchini and ears of corn wrapped in tinfoil. They roast potatoes in the oven with fresh herbs and olive oil. Cooking brings them together at the end of the day and gives them a way to take care of each other and themselves.

Mother’s Day presented the perfect opportunity to expand their repertoires and distract themselves from missing their families. The Sunday roast was Lilly’s idea -- whole roast chicken with thyme butter, creamy mashed potatoes, roasted root veggies and Yorkshire puddings with gravy. Mother’s Day Sunday roast is a Mendes family tradition, one Shawn hasn’t been around for in a few years. He had hoped to be home for this one. Lilly decides to bring some home to him.

His arm is hard and warm, wriggling between the stove and her waist as he winds it around her. His other hand presents her with a glass of white. She accepts the kiss on the side of her neck and pretends to stir to look busy.

“Oh, hi,” she murmurs into the wide-bowled glass.

“Oh, hi,” he chuckles, giving her a squeeze, “I saw the butter.”

Lilly huffs. “Goddamnit.” She can’t shake her stupid smile though. He was watching her when she wasn’t watching him.

“Gonna kill us both,” he purrs into her skin, like he doesn’t mind one bit.

“My plan all along.”

Shawn hums in response and backs off, to Lilly’s chagrin.

“Batter’s ready, chef.”

Lilly turns the range down low to keep the potatoes warm. She turns and waves him over, gloving her hand with an oven mitt to get the hot muffin tin from the pre-heated oven. She holds it as Shawn pours batter into each cup.

“The trick my mom taught me is not to open the oven door once they’re in there,” Shawn reports with a nod, watching as Lilly closes the door and sets a timer. Lilly glances at him suspiciously.

“This isn’t my first rodeo, kid, who do you think you’re talking to?”

Shawn raises his eyebrows, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “An American.”

Lilly’s eyes bulge and her jaw drops. She swats him across the chest with her mitt, but lets him cradle her up against him anyway.

“You take that back!” she squeaks.

“I know, I’m sorry, I know you hate being reminded.”

Lilly and Shawn sit on the floor and watch the little popovers rise. They don’t open the oven door even once until the timer goes off.

Lilly puts on John Mayer again over the house speakers. They’re eating in the actual dining room today to be fancy, figuring their setting should match their food.

“He’s been soothing my achy soul lately,” Lilly sighs, dropping into her seat, immediately crossing her legs so her foot brushes up against him. Shawn nods absently but his eyes narrow a little at his potatoes. Lilly’s grin takes up half her face.

“You’re jealous!”

Shawn completes the eye roll his face was begging him for. He finishes chewing and sits back to glare at her. “Of course I’m jealous. Why is my music not enough for your achy soul? Why do you need Mayer?”

The teasing lilt in Shawn’s voice just makes Lilly laugh harder. “You love him even more than I do.”

“I do,” he sighs, “Maybe we could FaceTime with him soon and he can soothe you directly.”

Lilly feels herself going magenta. Shawn doesn’t toss around his celebrity weight, or even work his friend connections very often, but when he does, he does it with purpose. Lilly attempts to stay cool. Ish.

“I would not say no to that,” she attempts lightly, but her face-splitting smile gives her away. Shawn grins knowingly and bobs his head.

“I’ll text him. Maybe I can talk to Taylor, too, get you your own personal Lover Fest.”

Lilly’s smile falters a little. Her gaze drifts to her plate. She shoves a forkful of potatoes in her mouth. Shawn notices a shift.

“What?” His mouth is full.

Lilly swallows and lifts a shoulder casually. “I just didn’t figure you were really in a place to be asking Taylor for favors anymore.”

The song changes to a track Lilly doesn’t know. The air seems to crackle. Shawn sits forward as Lilly sits back. She manages to lift her eyes from her crispy chicken skin.

“What do you mean?”

Regret fills Lilly’s gut faster than the food. She takes a long sip of wine.

“I mean after what happened last year.”

He didn’t really need her to clarify, she knows. She also knows he doesn’t require further detail.

He comes up on his elbows, his brow furrowing. “I can probably guess what you think happened, but it’s more complicated than that.”

Lilly exhales and drops her fork, crossing her arms. Shawn looks alarmed.

“I have no doubt you can guess what I think, because you know me pretty well. And you probably also know I think it’s bullshit.”

Shawn’s eyes harden. “Lilly, you don’t know everything. You weren’t there. I don’t owe you an explanation for this, you weren’t involved.”

Lilly’s lips tighten at the corners, the kiss of death. Shawn’s shoulders tighten further, pulling up toward his ears.

“Yeah, I’m sure you think you don’t. Maybe that’s exactly what’s wrong,” Lilly jabs.

Shawn looks baffled. “What the fuck are you talking about? You’re the one who’s always telling me I don’t owe everyone everything. But now suddenly I owe people every detail? It had nothing to do with me.”

“You thinking it had nothing to do with you is a huge fucking problem, Shawn! It is a privilege! No one has threatened everything you’ve built. Why would they? You’re a white man. And you sat down and shut up when she needed you.”

The muscle in Shawn’s jaw twitches. “You don’t know shit about what I did, you weren’t fucking there. Stop pretending like you know everything. It’s fucking complicated, okay? Jesus, Lilly.”

Lilly deflates and folds her hands, pressing her forehead into them. “Let’s not do this. Let’s just not fucking do this, this was supposed to be nice. Can we not? I don’t want to fight.”

She looks up at him, pleading.

Shawn doesn’t hesitate. “I want to fight.”

Lilly blinks. “What?”

He nods urgently. “I do. I want to fight. Let’s fight, let’s figure it out and get through it. Let’s fucking fight, Lill, because it’s so much better than being fucking silent.”

Lilly swallows. Her stomach lurches. Shawn does not waver.

“Fine. Tell me, then. Tell me what you did. You texted her?”

Shawn scoffs. “I didn’t just fucking text her, I called her. We talked for like an hour. And if she were here, she’d tell you that and she’d say we’re totally fine, we’re good. Because we are.”

Lilly pushes a hand into her hair and feels the tears in her eyes. “No you’re not. You’re not fine. You showed up and did the bare minimum, Shawn, you’re not fucking fine.”

His eyes get huge. “What the fuck, Lilly? You don’t even know her!”

“I don’t have to!” she cries, throwing her arms up, “I don’t have to know her personally to know how many texts and calls she got from guys like you who felt bad but wanted to stay out of the way, stay in their lane, stay out of trouble. When you look at the ratio of women who spoke up compared to men, it’s fucking sad, Shawn. And honestly, I did not expect you to land on the wrong side of that, I really didn’t. But that was just the start.”

He narrows his eyes. “The start of what?”

“You shut down. You just… shut down. You got the girl and then fucked off. You have to know that’s what it looked like to everyone.”

“I fucked off because literally everyone was telling me to. Lilly, I swear to god, if you saw the kind of stuff people were saying to me, about me, about her…”

Lilly feels a chill down her spine. She’s desperate to crawl away from this.

“Shawn--”

“Everyone hated me. Everyone hated us. What was I supposed to do?”

Lilly chews on her lip and mutters, “Maybe not post that gross make out video, for one thing.”

He inhales so sharply Lilly looks up at him. His nostrils are flared. Did he get taller in the last two minutes?

“It was a fucking joke, Jesus Christ.”

“Yeah, well, you were the only two who thought it was funny.”

Shawn takes a breath and scrubs his hands over his face, then back into his hair, holding it back as he stares down at his food.

“I know the video was stupid. It wasn’t supposed to make people so mad.”

Lilly shifts in her seat uncomfortably. She takes his olive branch and returns with one of her own.

“Listen, I’m not gonna sit here and defend your entire fandom. I know better. I know a lot of the shit you guys took was unfair. But the distance came from both sides, Shawn. You alienated them, they alienated you right back. It doesn’t matter who shot first. That distance is still there.”

Shawn doesn’t argue her point. He draws a crispy corner of Yorkshire pudding through his gravy and pops it in his mouth. “I really thought the Foundation would turn it around, but it only made it worse.”

Lilly winces. “But you get why, right?”

Shawn clicks his tongue. “No, but I’m sure you’ll tell me.”

“It’s hollow, Shawn. It didn’t feel like you. Your heart wasn’t in it. It was like someone put your name on it and said ‘okay, guys, tell us what you want this to be.’ I mean, what is it? What do you want it to be?”

Shawn looks hurt. Lilly wonders if she should’ve pulled back a little, then thinks about what he said earlier.

I want to fight.

Lilly realizes maybe she wants to fight too. If fighting means fighting for this, for them, Lilly will get her gloves on and go to work. She steels herself.

“The whole point was to give a voice to my fans, to be the way they can make a difference. Have them act through me. That’s what I liked about it!”

Lilly shuts her eyes. “But it wasn’t your idea.”

She knew that already without him having to say it. The circumstances made that clear.

“Andrew pitched it, but I approved it,” Shawn snaps.

“Then do something with it!” Lilly cries, “Show some ownership! Show everyone you care what it means, what it does. You’ve always been so good at that. It’s one of the reasons people love you so much. Why people were hurt when you disappeared. Suddenly you were either nowhere, or you were with her. People missed you. I fucking know I did.”

Shawn’s shoulders begin to sink. The tense feeling clenching around Lilly’s ribcage loosens. Shawn reaches a hand out, face up on the table. Lilly slips hers into his and watches his thumb rub her skin.

“I didn’t know you were still paying attention,” he whispers.

Lilly lets the past several months drift over her face. “I tried not to.”

What’s left of their food is cold. Mayer’s voice feels loud in the absence of their yelling. They gaze at each other, looking and feeling haunted. Shawn is first to break the silence.

“I don’t want it to be like this. I… I don’t think I want to tell everyone everything all the time, but I don’t want it like this either. I can’t be afraid to talk to my fans.”

Lilly nods. “There’s a middle ground. You can find it.”

Shawn studies the veins in the translucent skin of her wrist. “Will you help me?”

Lilly smirks. “When you want me to, sure. But you don’t need me for that, Shawn.”

He’s silent for a long time. Lilly watches the tears gather in his eyes as they soften.

“But I do need you. I fuckin’ need you, Lill, you know that right?”

Lilly nods eagerly. “I know.”

He doesn’t seem satisfied. “No, I mean, of course I need you, but I want you. I want you so bad, all the time, every day. In every way I can have you. You make everything in my life better. And I swear to god, if you let me, I’ll make sure I can do the same for you.”

Lilly squeezes his hand. Her heart swims up into her throat and pushes out the words she hasn’t said in almost a year. “I love you.”

Shawn illuminates from the inside out. His cheeks go a vivid pink. He squeezes her hand right back and pulls it up to his lips. “I love you too, Lilly.”

Lilly cups his cheek. Her smile is small and quiet, but it’s not fragile.

The song changes. The opening notes are so distinctive, they have Shawn and Lilly smiling knowingly in under three seconds.

“See?” Lilly squawks, “John just gets me.”

Shawn rolls his eyes and pushes his chair back, holding his hand out to her. “Whatever. John may ‘get you,’ but I have you. C’mere.”

Lilly gasps, eyes sparkling. She looks to his face, then his outstretched hand, then back at his face. She’s vibrating in her seat.

“No!”

“Yes!” Shawn laughs. Lilly springs out of her chair and takes his offer before he can reel it back in. He holds their clasped hands to his chest and grins as she takes her place between his bare feet. They bob along awkwardly beside the table, cast in powder blue dusk from the floor-to-ceiling windows.

“Fucking finally, it’s like, why even bother putting John Mayer on if no one’s gonna ask you to dance?” Lilly crows, looking smug.

Shawn pecks the tip of her nose and pulls her closer. She rests her cheek on his chest.

“Now we see everything that’s going wrong

With the world and those who lead it

We just feel like we don’t have the means

To rise above and beat it…”

Shawn sings along and Lilly doesn’t even pretend like that wasn’t exactly what she wanted. She stares up at him, delighted by his total willingness to satisfy even the little whims she doesn’t say out loud. They don’t notice when the song changes. Lilly magnanimously decides not to step on Shawn’s foot when he says that her body, too, is a wonderland.

But she does prove it to him again later that night.

+

Epilogue

July 28th, 2020

Lilly squints up at the sky. It’s so blue that her retinas ache, but she finds what she needs.

“Look! Look, a cloud. Not safe to fly. You should stay. Come on, chop chop, bags down. You’re staying.”

Shawn drops his backpack into the trunk of the town car. His eyes are hidden behind mirrored aviators, but Lilly doesn’t need to see them to know his smile doesn’t quite reach them.

“I’m going to remind you again this was your idea,” he sighs.

Lilly scrunches her face up in protest but it doesn’t push away the tears building in her eyes like she hoped.

He’s right. It’s been almost a month since they had the first conversation about it. It wasn’t nearly as scary when it was hypothetical. It started with an innocent comment, Lilly joking about Shawn not having anything to write about if they’re together and happy all the time. 

“You need some angst. How are you ever gonna miss me enough to write about me if we’re standing on top of each other all day every day?”

Shawn brushed it off, but it took hold in both their minds. It was another full week before they had a real conversation about it. Lilly cried and Shawn stared in horror, then held her.

“We cannot become real again in a vacuum. I love you, I love this, but it’s not real life. I want you for real. I need this to be real,” Lilly pleaded.

Negotiations ran in circles for a while. Maybe they just needed a change of scenery, Shawn suggested. They could take a little safe vacation somewhere, rent a place in Malibu or Big Sur. Distance wasn’t the answer. It couldn’t be.

But distance is their reality when the world is not on fire. Lilly does not work in an industry that permits her to follow Shawn around on tour or promo. Even if she did, they agree that arrangement could get emotionally fraught pretty fast. Lilly argues they have to get good at the distance again, since that was one of the factors that broke them up to begin with. Shawn insists that if they’re lucky enough to be together and safe during this time of crisis, there’s no reason to give it up.

Back and forth, round and around and around again. There was no compromise to be made. They were either together or apart.

Shawn tearfully agrees one night. Lilly is immediately horrified.

“No. No, I’ve changed my mind. Don’t go. Shawn, don’t go. Don’t let me bully you into this. This is a terrible fucking plan. Why would you leave? Everything is good!” she sobs.

Shawn wipes his eyes and tucks her into his chest so she can cry without him staring at her.

“You were right, Lill. If we’re ever going to be more than this, we have to start. We have to get better at it.”

“But this is already so good! Shawn, if you leave now, we have no way of knowing when we’ll see each other again. Things are already getting worse. What if you can’t get back?”

Shawn’s jaw clenches. It’s the one thing they haven’t said out loud. This distance could be more permanent than they intend for it to be if the pandemic continues to worsen in the U.S. There’s a possibility that if he leaves now, they won’t see each other again in 2020.

“We’re gonna figure that out,” he insists, wiping his hard calloused thumbs beneath her eyes, “If I have to marry you to make you a Canadian citizen and get you the fuck out of here, I will.”

Lilly’s heart skips a beat even as her eyes narrow. “What a romantic you are.”

Shawn chuckles, but it’s a dull, wet sound through his own tears. He arranges his pre-flight COVID test and buys a ticket home to Toronto the next day.

Without Shawn, and with her roommates calming down and staying virus free, there’s no reason to stay in this big house by herself. They take down the recording tent and send the equipment back. They carefully pry Command hooks off the ceiling, erasing the evidence. They latch up the doors on the balcony for good. Lilly’s car is packed; she’ll head back to Burbank right after Shawn leaves.

The summer breeze ruffles his curls, which she cut again recently so he doesn’t look like a sad sheepdog when he goes home to his mum, after the allotted two weeks of quarantining at his place in Toronto. He reaches for her, and her throat immediately burns, like it was holding off until he touched her again.

“I have terrible ideas. Don’t ever listen to me again,” Lilly half sobs. Shawn folds himself around her. She clings to him, digging her fingernails into the seams of his denim shirt. She feels his shaky exhale and feels ten times worse.

“What did I do?” she hiccups, “Why did I do this?”

Shawn lays his cheek on top of her head and sniffs before he speaks. “Because you want us to be real. Because you know it’s going to be different this time.”

Lilly breathes out slowly. Shawn loosens his grip and shifts to take her face in his hands. His cheeks are patchy pink, his eyes are a little bloodshot. He presses kisses to her forehead, her cheeks, the tip of her nose, and her lips. They kiss until they’re dizzy.

Shawn lets go, maybe because he knows she won’t. He reaches for the door of the car to anchor himself.

“You know how much I love you, right?” Lilly rasps.

Shawn nods. “I know. You know how much I love you, right?”

Lilly’s face crumples. She can’t speak. She nods.

Shawn smiles. “Then we’re gonna be okay.”

Lilly covers her nose and mouth as he climbs into the back of the town car. She stands there until it’s beyond the gates of the driveway and out of sight.

Lilly turns and looks up at the house. It’s not the first time she’s considered the mysterious magic of the place. In its age and grandness, Lilly knows hers is not the only gift it’s given. Theirs are not the only secrets it holds. She’s resigned to never knowing the rest, content with taking what it offered and hoping they left it with some of their own magic, too, for whomever needs it next.

----------

Taglist: @smallerinfinities​ @the-claire-bitch-project @achinglyshawn​ @infiniteshawn​ @mendesoft @singanddreamanyway​ @alone-in-madness​ @abigfatmess​ @shawnitsmutual​ @awkwardfangirl2014​ @september-lace​ @sinplisticshawn​ @rollingxstone​ @randi-eve​ @fallmoreinlove @heyits-claire​ @itrocksmysocks​ @parkerspicedlatte​ @simpledomain​ @abeautiful-and-cloudy-day​ @thecurlsofgod​ @magcon7280​ @bensbuttercup​ @shawnsmusical​ @paigeasourous​ @tell-me-when-ur-ready​ @softmendesss​ @searchingunderthestars​ @buggy-blogs​ @mendesficsxbombay​ @siennarossi​ @lostinshawnsmemory​ @umbreakablesoul​ @sleepybesson​ @shawnsheaven @poseshawn​ @shaawnie @shawn-youth​ @graysonmendes​

#shawn mendes one shot #shawn mendes #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes fan fiction #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fan fic #shawn mendes fiction #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes series #shawn mendes smut #shawn mendes au #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes drabble #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes blurb

[pastlivesandsecretdreams]

paradise - chapter four

chapter four - a documentary

mike dodds  x oc (cecilia “cecily” elizabeth sinatra kennedy)

warnings :: mention of death, loss, airplane crash, hemorrhage mention

song(s) of the chapter : cardigan by taylor swift 

word count : 1,740+

“all i’ve ever known is loss…” cecily told the camera that sat in front of her. she had been asked to make a documentary about her life thus far, and they got some old videos and photos of her from her aunt and her godmother. “fifteen minutes after i was born, my mother died of-” she hadn’t noticed that she had started to cry, until she felt the droplets fall onto her shirt. “-a hemorrhage. so for the first few years of my life, it was just me and my father.” a producer handed her a tissue box. “thank you.” she told him, wiping the tissues away. “i loved my father. he was the first great love of my life, i always say. because like i said, it was just us for the first few years of my life. then, he started bringing this pretty lady around the apartment. i loved carolyn! i never had any female presence besides my aunt caroline. so i was always in love with carolyn. she gave me love and attention and cookies. god, she made amazing cookies!” cecily started to laugh at what she had said. “and i got to be the flower girl in their wedding. i was just happy the two people i loved most were getting married! and that i got to wear a pretty dress. and then…” her face fell as she thought of their end. “i got sick from my school friend, josey. it was a bad stomach bug. like i was throwing up, and when i wasn’t, i was so incredibly nauseous. my father almost didn’t go to the wedding. i remember he was adamant on staying home to take care of me. but my step-aunt, auntie lauren, talked to my father and step-mother, who were fighting. their perfect marriage wasn’t as perfect as i thought. in my mind, they were the king and queen of the castle. but...they weren’t. and yet, there was so much love between them. my aunt caroline ended up taking me to her place until my parents would come back. normally, i would’ve slept with my cousins, but because i was sick, i was put in the guest room.

 i sat in bed after a long ass nap. i had written my father a letter, and i had planned to give it to his assistant, so when he next went to work, it would be a nice surprise on his desk. but...as i placed the letter inside the envelope, my aunt caroline walked into the room and just...wrapped her arms tightly around me. that's when i was told the people i loved most...were dead. and again, i became acquainted with loss. i remember nothing of the night after that. i guess my mind blocked it out. but i do remember waking up the next morning and everyone was treating me like i was a porcelain doll that was gonna break, if they so much as breathed heavily towards me. i stayed with them until the day after the funeral. at the age of seven, i was alone. i was an orphan. until my mother’s best friend and my godmother, alix, came to america. she packed everything i owned and shipped it to her home...in france. so, she uprooted me and brought me to reims, where i would grow up. i love my aunt alix, i do, but i wouldn’t have taken me across the pond. because, in a time where i was so fragile, she took me away from my family and friends. i understand she wanted me to get away from all that...but i needed to hold onto whatever sense of family and normalcy i had left.” she started to cry harder and harder, until her best friend, and possible cousin, ronan farrow walked over and hugged her. “you’re okay...you’re okay… deep breathes.” he whispered to her. “let’s take five.” he said to the producer, who nodded and left with the camera guy. “sweetie, it’s only been a few weeks since you gave birth. you need to relax.” she wiped her eyes and blew her nose into the tissue. “i’ve been on the go since i was seven. i need to do this. it will help me process a lot.” he nodded, starting to understand what she was getting on about. the girl had so much that she had never worked through, but now it wasn’t just her. she was a mother of four now, and still never came to terms with a lot of her demons. “can we start again?” ronan kissed her forehead and left the room to grab the producer and camera guy. “are you okay enough to continue?” she nodded as they started rolling again. “what was the last thing i said…?” she asked the producer. “your godmother taking you away from normalcy.” cecily nodded and took a drink of her water. the babies started to cry down, but mike quickly tended to them, so not to interrupt. he had been so good with taking care of her, and agreed that it would be good to get it all out there. “so, i never really made friends after that… because i was terrified of losing them because of all the loss in my life. i’ve hated feeling so alone. and i was alone...until i came back home to new york. then, six weeks after...i met this boy.” mike walked into the room with the twins, causing her to beam at him. “sorry to interrupt… teddy wants you.” she held out her arms, giggling softly as the baby was placed in her arms. “i just got to the best part in the story.” she told her beloved husband. “which is?” the baby latched onto her hand, nuzzling against her chest. “the part about me meeting this cute boy.” he leaned over and kissed her forehead. “he sounds...amazing.” she let out a melodious laugh, which seemingly echoed through the room. “trust me, he is. he’s the love of my life.” she smiled down the camera lens. “obviously...that boy became my husband the following year. we got engaged about eight months in and we just...couldn’t wait too long. about two months after that, we got married. luckily due to our family connections we got a wedding thrown together rather quickly. i had felt it coming on-” he looked at her shocked. “you did?!” cecily nodded and laughed again. “i did! one day you came into my apartment- which is the same apartment that belonged to my father- and what we live in now. and you just...seemed so sure about us. and i knew...i knew i was right for letting you into my life.” he moved and rested his forehead against hers. “i love you…” they said softly to each other. “you’ve been the light of my life.” cecily told him. “you and the children.” the both babies in their arms were fast sleep, loving being held by their parents. “then, on our wedding day, my cousin jack led me down the aisle. and we got married. and that night, at the reception, i told him what i had found out a week before.” her husband smiled at her, then the camera. “she was pregnant with eliza.” she giggled and nodded. “hell yeah, i was.” he looked enamoured by her laughter, by her, by the children they had made together. “it explained a lot. and after that, i knew i had to open up. so, he came with me to see a therapist. after all, he had some problems as well.” mike nodded and sighed softly. “before we met...i had been in the army. and i had seen so much. and i knew that we both had to work through some stuff.” cecily leaned over and wiped his tears away and kissed where they had been. “and we did it how we’ve done everything.” at the same time, they said, “together, or not at all.” they had added that into their vows last minute, and since then, it was a promise they kept. “and now that we have six dozen children-” this caused her to let out another beautiful laugh. “we- gladly- don’t have that many. we have four.” he smiled at her again, loving the sound that came out of her mouth. he could live on her laugh alone, if possible. “-yet. but!” this caused her to playfully hit his arm. “play nice, monkey!” the twins had woken up due to their mother’s laughter and looked up at them. almost if he understood, cassie started to make monkey-like noises. “oh my god!” the entire room fell into laughter at the two newest additions. “please tell me you got that on camera!” she was given a thumbs up from the camera guy. “can you please send me that bit?” once again, she was given a thumbs up. “thank you, timmy! but oh my god, we have a whole zoo in this apartment.” teddy started to babble to his mother. “yes, you too. yes, you too!” the two older kids waddled into the room, jack following behind them. “it seems the rest of our zoo is home!” the two children brought stools and sat next to their parents. “we missed you. kisses!” both children leaned in and kissed her cheeks, then their fathers. “wanna introduce the kiddies?” the producer asked them. “this is elizabeth jaymes. she’s five. we call her “eliza”. this is john fitzgerald, he’s four and we call him “john john” like how the media called my dad. and these two are the newest. we thought we were having one more...then it seems we got a two for one deal. the one i’m holding is edward arthur. we call him “teddy”. and last but not least, this is cassiopeia star. we call her “cassie”. and the twins are about a month old now.” the two older kids waved to the camera. “what does you daddy do for a living?” the producer asked the older two. “he keeps the bad guys off the streets!” eliza answered before her brother could say anything. “and mama?” he asked john john. “she makes houses!” cecily giggled towards her son. “i’m an interior designer.” she told him. “thats what i said!” another round of laughs came from the room. for a moment, their lives were peaceful. but cecily knew it wouldn’t last.

___________________________

hey everyone! i hope you’re having a good holiday season and that you’re all staying safe! here is chapter four, which i actually wrote on christmas eve, but didn’t have time to post it until now! i love you all! 

xoxo,

gracie

tag list : @evans-dejong​

#law and order svu #law and order imagine #law and order one shot #law and order x reader #law and order fic #mike dodds x reader #mike dodds imagine #mikedoddsseries #mike dodds #mike dodds fic #graciewritesalot #the kennedys #paradise #paradise series #olivia benson x reader #olivia benson #sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #nick amaro #nick amaro x reader #rafael barba x female reader #rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #william dodds #william dodds x reader #kennedy oc #sinatra oc #jack kennedy #jfk #jfk x reader

[lancearcherinrippedjeans]

It Started with The Janela Zone

ICBeing The Elite Part 1

Pairings - Adam Page x OFC, Chuck Taylor x OC, Marq Quen x OFC

Catergory - VERY FLUFFY, LOTS OF COMEDY, with the TINIEST TINIEST bits of angst

Warnings/Promises - Lot’s of cussing lmao. Talk of FAKE, I’ll say it again, FAKE death. And talk of anxiety.

Word Count - 4,503

Summary/Desc - Gabby goes live the Joey Janela every week. But when Parker and Bri are with there this time, Joey makes a decision  to invite them to a show. And once they show up, they get two things they didn’t expect, being special guests on BTE, and finding potential love.

There beginning and end with be like “real life” and the middle with be like BTE (Intro and Outro is included)

 (JUST A THING, PARKER, AKA ME, I PUT BOTH BY PRONOUNS IN THIS she/they, SOOOO, JUST A THING)

N e ways,,,,creds to @westanaew​ , it’s not just her first collab its also MINE. We did this together <3

Also, Gabby is gonna be the main character in part one :) 

(happy birthday Hangman)

“I don’t know what you want from me Joey.” She laughed. Gabby and Joey were live for Janela Zone, like they did every weekend. “What do you mean Gabby,” Joey chuckled, “I told you to chug the White Claw or listen to Barbie girl for 1. Hour.” Joey said. This was the normal for them, just two people going live for the entertainment of their fans. Joey Janela was, well Joey Janela. But Gabby was a fan that wanted to go live with her idol, which quickly turned into a friend when the people started liking on their lives.

One day Gabby was with her friends, Parker and Bri, that she met from being wrestling fans. They were together at a hotel, something they didn’t do often since they lived in different states.

“Bitch I know you’re not about to go live with us here!” Parker yelled. It was time for Gabby and Joey’s weekly stream, and she was doing it either way. “I mean I can go get food, I’m kind of hungry anyways.” Bri offered.

“Humans just be normal. It’s only for a few hours.” Gabby tried to explain, but Parker wasn’t having it. “I know you did not just saying a few fucking hours-“ Parker seemed fed up, but Gabby knew she would get over it.

“Guys let’s see if Gabby is in here.” Joey said. Gabby was ready while Parker and Bri sat in the back awkwardly. When Joey added her, he noticed Bri laying on one of the 2 beds in the background. “Who’s that in the background?” Joey questioned. “Oh them? Those are just my friends, Parker and Bri.” Gabby said then looking back at a surprised Parker. “Hi Joey, big fan” Parker stated. Eventually Parker and Bri joined in and the whole group had a lot of fun on live that night, so much fun that Joey would offer them something. “I swear, I got to fly y’all out for All Out next Saturday.” They didn’t think he was serious till Gabby got a dm after they got off of the live with Joey asking if they could actually come. Of course, they accepted and off to All Out they were in 2 weeks.

The Day of All Out

“Look how big it is!” Gabby said, pointing at the titantron, amazed. “That’s what she said.” Parker smirked. “Bitch be wholesome for 5 seconds, geez!” Gabby exclaimed. “I knew y’all would do this.” Bri laughed with her head down.

“Hey! Gabby over here!” Joey said waving towards them. Parker and Gabby waved back. “Omg y’all that’s like actually Joey Janela!” Gabby was excited, but really emotional about it. Before all the lives, Gabby was a huge fan of Joey, and his wrestling helped her through a lot of stuff. She dreamed about meeting him even though they were friends, today was the day her dream would come true. The group made their way towards Joey, Parker and Bri excited while Gabby was in shock it was really happening.

“Hey guys!” Joey said when we made our way over to him. “What’s up Joey, thank you for everything, we really appreciate it.” Gabby said, fighting back tears. She didn’t wanna get all emotional right now so she held it in. ”Sup Joey, nice meeting you” Parker said, trying not to burst out of excitement.

”Hi Joey, great meeting you.” Unlike the other two, Bri hugged Joey, then behind his back winking. Gabby caught this, “Not today Brianna.” Gabby whispered but loud enough Bri got the message.

Bri rolled her eyes at Gabby while letting go of Joey, Parker holding back laughter so Joey wouldn’t know what was happening. “Joey let's get a picture, this’ll be my biggest flex.” Gabby said, pulling out her phone and opening Instagram. All four of them took a group photo then all getting individual photos with Joey. “You guys wanna head to catering? I’m sure you’ll run into someone there.” Joey offered. “Sure why not!” Parker agreed, trying not to sound too nervous. They all headed backstage to the catering area.

“Ok guys, the food is over there against the wall and that’s about it. I’m 100% sure you’ll run into someone over here. I’m gonna head out to find Sonny, so have fun.” Joey said, he really invited them then left.

That’s when the group heard a very familiar voice. “What’s up guys,” He motioned towards one of them, “are you Gabby?” said Nick Jackson, coming over to sit with them. “Yes I am, are you Nick Jackson?” Gabby said in a sarcastic but funny way. Bri sat and smiled while Parker sat there like an idiot, mouth agape, starstruck by the man sitting across from them.

“I like your attitude,” Nick laughed at Gabby’s sarcasm, “and from what I’ve heard you guys are funny, so I’m inviting you on BTE. We needed some extra people this week and you guys seem to fit the spot.” Nick offered.

“Deadass?!” Parker questioned. “I'M DEADASS!” Nick shouted, then breaking a smile. “I’m down.” Bri said. “Yea me too, it’ll be fun.” Gabby said, checking her phone for a notification.

“Okay sounds great! Gabby I think we’ll have you working with Adam, Joey said you guys were pretty similar,” He pointed towards her, and she looked up from her phone surprised from what she was hearing. “Parker, from what I’ve heard? The Best Friends bit sounds perfect for you, and Bri, I think you’ll go best with Private Party.”

“Alright.” “Amazing.” “Sounds good to me.”

“Okay,” He clapped his hands together, “You’ll have a bit of time to pre plan before we start shooting in,” he checked his phone, “About an hour, so, see y’all in a little bit.”

Once Nick walked away Parker and Bri turned towards their friend, “Gabby and Adam sitting in a tree.” Bri sang, wanting to get on her nerves, “Not now, Brianna.” “She is c-h-o-k-i-n-g.” Parker finished, “Parker Lorin Jones!!!!” The three joked before breaking off, finding the groups for their bits on Being The Elite.

Gabby walked around Daily’s Place, until she found Adam, sitting, clearly waiting for something. She took a deep breath before approaching him, “Hi Adam, I’m-” “Gabby, working with me for Being The Elite?” Adam cut in, and she felt her cheeks get hot, “Uh, yeah.”

The blonde nodded, “I’ve watched you on Janela Zone before, you seem pretty chill. Shall we talk about the bit before we start?” He held out his arm for her to hook it. She was nervous at first but she inhaled, then exhaled, and hooked her arm through his, “We shall.”

The Elite

The The Elite

The Elite

The The Elite

The Elite

The The Elite

Superkick PAAARRRR-

“I’m going to use the bathroom, don’t die while I’m gone.” Gabby said while getting up from her seat. “Bitch you know you dying first outta us.” Parker said, gazing over to the side avoiding to make eye connection with Gabby. “Go choke Parker.'' Gabby said, walking away to find the nearest bathroom, that’s when while walking down the hallway she spotted a lonely cowboy sitting at the bar by himself.

It was Adam Page, then she saw an angry Kenny Omega walking out of the bar. “Fuuck.” She saw the cowboy whisper, then taking a drink of his Jack Daniels. Gabby saw a look in his face that she didn’t really see on tv, a more sad than angry look in his eyes. So she took it upon herself to go sit with him at the bar.

“Excuse me can I uh, get 1 whiskey?” Gabby asked the bartender. “You must be Joey’s friend everyone’s been talking about.” Adam said, taking another sip of his drink. “Yup that’s me.” Gabby said, taking a sip of her whiskey. She followed that up with, “You didn’t look like you were doing well and-“ Adam cut Gabby off, “Gabby I don’t know you and you don’t know me so what’s up? If you want a one night ssand you can jusssay that.” Adam said, slurring his words and still drinking. “No it’s not that, I just saw the pain in your face. What happened with Kenny?” She asked, she let the one night stand comment slide since he was obviously drunk. ”Kenny’ssjust being complicated, he doesn’twant me drinking with Cash and Dax. And I know they have their problemssbut that has nothing to do with me.” Adam said, finishing off his drink.

“I feel you, but sometimes you just gotta let people be mad. And put yourself first.” Gabby said, then also finishing off her drink. “Nice talk, wesshould talk more. I like you.” A drunk Adam Page mumbled out, still slurring his words. “Yea I’m down.” Gabby got up, tipped her cup towards Adam and made her way out the bar. Adam tipped his glass right back at her before looking back towards the bartender.

LaTeR iN tHe EpIsOdE

Parker was walking backstage, minding her own business and looking at her phone. “I wonder where Gabby WEN-” Parker was grabbed by her arm and dragged into a room.

Parker held up their fist, when they put them down, “God, what do you guys want?” “Look, you gotta help us,” They looked up at Chuck Taylor, “We’re trying to kill Brandon.” “Excuse me, WHAT?”

Trent put his hands on their shoulders, “He’s been annoying us about a bit for weeks, so we’ve been planning to, y’know, take him out.” Parker sighed, “I don’t know, Orange what do you think?” They all looked towards Orange Cassidy who shrugged and gave them a lazy thumbs up. She looked back towards Chuck and Trent, “God, he’s persuasive.” She looked like she was weighing her options, before she blurted out, “Fine! But I swear to God,” They held up a finger to their faces, “If you even THINK about blaming all this on me, I will kill you guys next.” The pair just nodded their heads and looked towards the door.

Brandon walked in, looking peeved, “Do you guys have a bit?” Trent talked to Brandon while Chuck motioned Parker towards the bat in the corner. She picked it up, making that face you knew said, “Really bitch?” He made the motion of him just swinging the bat. Parker walked behind Brandon, Trent and Chuck made faces and mouthed at her to just do it.

The camera went black and the sound of the bat hitting a surface was heard.

The screen showed all them standing over the man, when they all started screaming, except Orange, who kept his cool. “What do we do what do we do?!?!” Parker yelled, freaking out. Trent looked around, “Uh, put him in the closet!”

Parker shook her head, “No, no being in the closet isn’t fun at all.” Everyone in the room, including the now dead Brandon put on a straight face and looked directly at the camera, “Get it?”

They all went back to their worried, chill and dead faces. Trent, Chuck and Parker all looked around the room when all their eyes fell on a suitcase. They all knew what they had to do, when the screen changed to a different place in a building, showing a different bit.

tImE sKiP

The same group of the Best Friends and Parker walked towards the EVPs office. “You tell them that you killed Brandon.” Chuck said, pointing at Parker. She looked at him, offended, “Listen here you Kentucky born idiot! It was YOUR idea!” “Okay but who hit him with the bat?” Trent added in. “Are you serious right now? I-” They all started arguing, so loud that Matt looked out the door, “Hey, can you guys keep it down?” Parker pushed the men back before pointing at them, “They killed him.”

“What the- killed who?” Trent stepped forward, “Oh please, Parker is the one who hit Brandon over the head. They’re the reason he’s dead.” Matt looked at them all confused, “Brandon is in here, he hit his head or something and we found him stuffed in a suitcase. Are you guys okay?” The three looked at each other before looking into the office, to see Brandon with ice on his head.

Parker shook her head, peeved looked on her face before walking away, “Man what the fu-”

This ain’t water

Private Party and Bri were walking backstage, laughing and joking around when they bumped into Nick Jackson. “Oh, Nick! This is our friend Bri.” Marq said in a happy tone. Bri held up her hand, “Hi, nice to meet you.” Nick looked awkward before shaking her hand. Isiah smacked his lips, “Man why you being rude? We’re just tryna introduce y’all.”

Nick put up his hand, “Look you seem nice and all, but I’m not interested.” “What are- why wouldn’t you hang with all this.” Marq said, motioning towards Brianna. “I don’t need to ‘hang’ with all that.” Isiah rolled his eyes and groaned, “Why you bein difficult?”

“I don’t need Bri. I’m fine.” Nick said, sounding annoyed. “Oh you don’t need Bri, that’s a funny joke. Come on.” “I already said no, I don’t need another girl in my life.” Marq laughed, “It’s not a big deal, just another friend you know?” “I’m not gonna say no again.”

Isiah laughed, “Yeah,” got close to the camera, “he actin like he don’t got other friends.” Bri laughed at Marq and Isiah overreacting when Nick was clearly getting angry, “You think I’m not being serious?” “Nah.” Bri said through her laughter.

“I’m DEADASS.” A loud noise played while the trio flew back, Isiah on the floor, Marq staying still and Bri trying to support herself on the wall.

Marq grabbed Brianna’s arm, “I guess people don’t like making friends nowadays.” They turned to walk away when they bumped into Matt Jackson, the trio shook their heads, scared of what's gonna happen next.

Their fears became a reality when Matt (does whatever he does ?????) and they all flew back again. Bri stomped her foot and turned away, “Man I can’t believe this!”

Join The Dark Order

The friends, talking about their day on BTE, sat at a table in catering, all with different expressions. “Gabby, I still don’t know how YOU ended up being Adam’s drinking buddy.” Bri questioned. Gabby shrugged, “Okay but at least Nick didn’t think that I was about to get set up with him.” The two went back and forth about it before they turned towards Parker, “What did you do today Parker?” Gab asked, curious why her friend was quiet for once.

Parker shuddered, “I don’t wanna talk about it.” “Why? Did-” The girl went silent when Alex Reynolds and John Silver approached, Kool-Aid and water in hand. “Ladies,” Alex motioned towards Bri and Gabby, “Non-Binary friend,” he motioned towards Parker, “how are you doing today?”  Parker and Gabby rolled their eyes and sighed while Bri spoke up, “What do you guys want?”

John clapped his hands once, “Let’s get things straight, we want you three in the Dark Order.”

“No.” “Nope.” “Absolutely not.”

“Just hear us out, hear us out.” “We’re not joining a cult.” Gabby spoke up. She looked towards Bri, who looked tempted to do so. “Bri!” “What? I mean, it’s grape Kool-Aid, right?” Parker slapped their hand against their forehead, “Bri I swear to God if you drink that mess I’m gonna smack the hoe outta you.”

The three started arguing when Alex and John calmed them down. “Look all you have to do,” Alex said, pouring Kool-Aid in the three cups of water, “is drink the Kool-Aid.”

The three friends looked disgusted, “What. The Fuck. Is this?” Gabby said, grabbing the cup and looking into it. Bri shot a glare at the two, “Are you trying to poison us?”

“No! We got Griff Garrison to drink it.” John spoke, trying to get the point across. “Who the hell is Griff Garrison?!” Parker questioned, confused.

Gabby put her hand up to calm down Parker, “Okay okay listen, there ain’t no way we’re joining your stupid cult.” “Cause one, there ain’t no sugar.” Bri said, adding on. “Too much water.” Parker said, attitude in their voice. “And you didn’t even mix it up.” Gabby said, sounding disappointed.

“Wait wait wait!” John and Alex yelled as Parker and Gabby got up and walked away. Bri looked behind her and sighed, grabbing her Kool-Aid anyway and walking with her friends. “Damnit Bri!” Parker said offscreen, throwing the cup back at Alex.

John slapped his hands against the table, “Goddamnit!” “This is why Brodie always throws paper at you!” The men walked off, arguing.

“Hey, did you like that video? Click the screen for more.”

“And where do you think you’re going?

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And thanks so much for Being The Elite.

The Elite The The Elite

What Nick you’re not gonna sing it all with me this time?”

Gabby, Bri and Parker were hanging out in the hallway, laughing about their bits they filmed. It all stopped when Nick came up to them, congratulating them and telling them how great the bits turned out. He also told them that the people they had filmed with invited them out for drinks. They all agreed and got their stuff ready, waiting outside for the Uber the three of them ordered.

“Are you guys excited?” Parker asked, clearly nervous. Gabby nodded, shaking. “Oh you bet I’m excited.” Bri said, that certain tone in her voice. “Bri don’t scare Isiah and Marq off with your flirting.” Gabby said, a bit of a chuckle in her voice. “To be fair, Marq was flirting back earlier.”

Gabby and Parker started teasing Bri, who was already tired of it, when their Uber had pulled up, they pulled their masks over their face and climbed in the car, light conversation the whole way.

When everyone arrived they all broke off into groups, with the people they had filmed BTE with earlier today. “Let me get two Jack Daniels please.” Adam said, already a bit drunk from earlier. Gabby smiled at him, Adam with his hair pulled back and round glasses on was attractive to her. “So tell me about yourself, cowboy.” Gabby said, curious about his answer. “Have you not read my twitter bio? I’m an anxious millennial cowboy. That’s all anyone needs to know.” Adam said, swallowing down his drink faster than earlier.

“Anxious huh? I suffer from anxiety so I’m sure you have an understanding of it.” Gabby said, taking a sip of her drink, but not as big as Adam’s. The two started to talk about their anxiousness and anxiety, then speaking on their mental health issues. They were both drinking heavy and in about 40 minutes were drunk. They were like each other’s therapist in that moment.

That’s when out of nowhere Adam leaned in for a kiss. Gabby didn’t push away from it. Adam made his way to Gabby’s thighs, grabbing them then pulling her in closer. That’s when they both heard a voice, one that as soon as she heard it she knew who it was.

“Hey Gab-E, can I borrow a 20 so I don’t have to use my credit ca-.” Parker looked up from her phone and stopped when she saw the scene in front of her. “Oh my God Park-er what do you want?!” Parker stifled their laughter, “Well, I needed a 20, cause I didn’t want to use my credit card for a tip later, but it’s fine, I’ll uh, go to an ATM.” Gabby groaned and rolled her eyes dramatically, “Adam, this is my friend, Parker.” Adam just waved and Parker returned it, “I’ll uh, just go back to hanging out with Chuck and them.” “Yeah, you do that.” Gabby spat.

Parker turned and walked a few feet when she turned back around, “Oh, and make sure you use a condom.” “God Parker go!” Gabby yelled, and Parker walked away, laughing.

Gabby let out a sigh, “I can’t believe that bitch”. “It’s ok, now where were we again-” Adam said, licking his bottom lip, looking Gabby up and down. “I don’t know if I can continue after that, cowboy.” Gabby shook her head no, letting out a soft smile. “I love your smile, it’s cute.” Adam tilted her head up towards him, placing a soft kiss on her lips. “You know, I don’t know what it is Gabby, but something about you and me just click. And I know we’ve only known each other for less than a whole day but I really like you.” Adam looked down with a smile on his face, blushing at the fact that after one day he’d catch feeling.

“Me too Adam, fuck. It’s nice having someone that understands you and can drink with you. Plus you’re” she stopped herself in the middle of her words to let out a silent sigh. “You’re attractive, and nice, and I feel like this will be more than a one night thing”. Adam signaled his hands for Gabby to come closer, which she did. She sat on his lap, digging her face into his shoulder. “I’m gonna follow you on Instagram, you're more than Joey's friend now.” Adam whispered, hugging her tighter. Gabby laughed the comment off while still in Adam’s hold. She released her head from his shoulder, placing a kiss on his forehead.

“Well then cowboy, I’m already hooked to you so there’s no way out.” Gabby smiled. Adam smiled back at her, letting her go out of his hold.

Across the bar sat Parker and the Best Friends, laughing and acting stupid. “I’m serious! I didn’t actually expect you to retweet it James.” They were talking about one of Parker’s tweets, with them in Orange Cassidy cosplay and makeup. “We all thought it looked great, what do you mean?” Trent asked, genuinely curious. Parker took a swig of her drink before answering, it’s just, I try getting noticed by you guys a lot. I literally nicknamed myself ‘Chuck Taylor Thot’.”

Chuck, hearing that, spat out his drink with laughter, “What?!” She hid her face in her hands embarrassed, “It’s not funny.” “Sure, totally not, at all.” James said, stifling his laughter. “You guys wanna go play darts or something?” Trent asked. Parker shook their head, “You guys go ahead, I suck at that stuff.” James and Trent just shrugged and slid out the booth. Parker looked next to her, “You’re not going to play?” Chuck shook his head, “Last time I played darts with them I got one stuck in my foot.”

Parker laughed, imagining all them freaking out about it. “What’s so funny?” She put on a straight face, “Nothing, nothing.” He shrugged it off, “So I’m sure that you know a lot about me, so tell me about you.”

She rolled her eyes at that joke in the beginning before she thought for a second, “Well uh, I’m in my early twenties, I met Gabby and Bri a few years ago and uh, I don’t know what else is that important.” “That’s nice and all but I’ve been around you all day, c’mon, I know you aren’t lame.”

She sighed before really thinking what she could say about herself, “Umm, I’ve been a wrestling fan most of my life, I used to actually hate AEW, then it easily became one of the most important parts of my life and every time I see you wearing a Pacer’s shirt I freak out because you’re repping MY state.” Chuck looked towards Parker, “You’re from Indiana?” She nodded, “You were born in the wrong state.”

“No way, Kentucky for the win, plus Indiana Gentleman just sounds stupid.” “Kentucky Gentleman sounds like a douchebag.”

“Oh shut up!” The two just laughed. When they both stopped they just looked at each other, smiles on their faces. Out of nowhere he started looking closer at them. They started touching around their mouth, “What? Do I have something on my face?” He didn’t answer before he asked a question with an obvious answer, “You have freckles?”

Parker felt her face get hot when she just nodded, “Yeah, I realize they’re not as cute as other people’s but-” “I think they’re adorable.” Parker just sat there, mouth hanging open like an idiot. She shook her head when she realized she was just sitting there, “Um, uh...thank you.”

He just smiled before saying, “You’re really cool Parker. I think I might want to get to know you better.” She couldn’t even say anything and just sat there, smiling. He realized she was too awkward to say anything, so he just wrapped his arm around her shoulder, turning them towards Trent and James, arguing over who’s turn it was. She laid her head on his shoulder, watching the funny scene across from them.

A few tables over were Bri and Private Party, which despite all their energy, was pretty chill. “Okay Bri I see you with them nails.” Marq said, complimenting Bri’s nails which were blue and pink, just like Private Party’s merch. Bri smiled, modelling her hand. Isiah looked over towards the entrance when a girl walked in, he looked towards Bri and Marq, who were nodding for him to go. He jumped up out of the booth and over to the girl who walked in.

Bri and Marq turned towards each other, smiling. “I got a question.” Bri said, nervousness in her voice. He nodded his head, “Do you think I’m too, y’know, flirty?” Marq put his drink down and looked towards Brianna, like she just said something stupid. “Of course not, why you think I’ve been flirting back all day?” Bri smiled at his answer, when they started to move closer to each other, so close that their lips were almost touching, when Bri suddenly stopped and turned away, throwing up all over the floor.

“Oh shit!” Parker yelled, grabbing her jacket and sliding out the booth. She yelled for Gabby and motioned for her. They both ran towards Bri, Gabby grabbed Brianna’s purse and jacket while Parker kept her hair out her face. Parker turned towards Marq, “Sorry, this happens whenever we meet up.” Marq just nodded, “Alright, I’ll text you Bri, feel better.”

Parker turned towards Gabby, “Did you order the-” “It’ll be here in 2 minutes.” They walked towards the exit, they were halfway out the door when Chuck yelled, “Wait Parker I never I got your-” The door shut, “Number.”

Their ride was there quickly, and they climbed in the backseat, starting their ride to their hotel. “Bri I told you to stop drinking so much when you’re in a random place!” Gabby yelled. Bri just shrugged. Parker wanted to lecture Bri as well when she got a notification. The girls looked over at her, “Is it from Chuck?” Gabby asked.

“No...it’s from Nick. He wants us back next week.”

Come back for part 2! Coming out soon!

#Adam Page #Chuck Taylor #marq quen #adam page x ofc #chuck taylor x oc #marq quen x ofc #being the elite #AEW #aew fanfic #aew dynamite #aew fanfiction #nick jackson #matt jackson #brandon cutler #Kenny Omega #isiah kassidy #trent beretta #orange cassidy #the dark order

[chilling-seavey]

Amoureux (c.s./d.s.) - Chapter Twenty-Six

A/N Where were we...here is the final chapter of Amoureux before the epilogue! I can’t believe it’s almost over...it really snuck up on me this time. Anyway, this chapter’s song is Getaway Car by Taylor Swift

Louisa jumped off the horse, landing hard on the ground and shoved the reins in some random bystander’s hands before she was rushing through the crowd and fighting back her tears as she pushed the guards to the side to take Daniel’s face in her hands and kissed him with all the energy she had left in her.

“I’m sorry.” Louisa cried between rushed kisses, tangling her hands in his hair. “I am so sorry. I cannot bare to live without you, I love you. I love you so much.”

“Oh my gosh, Louisa.” Daniel breathed, his hands still locked behind his back so all he could do was lean in towards her to kiss her again. “What are you doing here?”

“I cannot marry Christian! I just cannot! Not when you are the one my heart yearns for. I love you!” Louisa rushed out.

Daniel could barely reply with his own surprised, “I love you-”

The guards pulled him back from her, ripping them apart, “Ma’am, you should not be here.”

“Yes, I should!” Louisa snapped, reaching for Daniel again. “He is not a criminal!”

“By law, he is.” the second guard said, grabbing her arm to try and lead her away.

“Then I am too!” Louisa retorted strongly. “I am just as guilty.”

“No, you are not.” the guard behind her said, tightening his grip on her arm to try and take her towards the carriage.

“I am not leaving without Daniel!” Louisa demanded, tearing her arm from him to try and run back to Daniel but the first guard stepped between them.

“You need to return to the palace, ma’am. There is nothing for you here.”

Daniel glanced past the guard to Louisa’s emotional face, her pink cheeks splattered with mud and streaked with tears and she struggled against the arm of the Royal Guard, her mind whirling a thousand miles a second to try and figure out how to get them out of this mess. The first guard moved back to escort Daniel onto the ship as the second wrapped an arm around Louisa’s waist to pull her back towards the carriage. Louisa screamed as loud as she could, kicking against him, grabbing onto Daniel’s shirt to keep herself with him. She had come so far and was not planning on returning to the palace without Daniel at best; she was willing to put up a hell of a fight too. 

“Let me go!” Louisa shrieked. “I am going with him!”

“You are not going anywhere with him.” The first guard snapped, tugging at Daniel’s arm to get her hand off of him, the boy stumbling a little at the aggression.

“Don’t touch him!” Louisa screamed, wiggling out of the guard’s arms to run back to Daniel and throw her arms around his shoulders, whispering a strained, “Don’t touch him.”

“Princess, you are getting married today. You need to get back to the palace.” The guard tried to reason with her as gently as he could but his aggravation was apparent.

“Today?” Daniel’s eyes went wide and he leaned back to look at her.

Louisa nodded, holding his face in her trembling hands, “Christian moved the date up, but I could not do it. I could not marry him because you are all I can think about all the time and I was so stupid to think that I did not love you. I do. I love you, Daniel.”

“You came all the way here on your wedding day? Christian is going to be furious.” Daniel breathed.

“I do not care.” Louisa shook her head, pulling his lips to hers again. “I do not care what he thinks or what any of them think. I will do anything to keep you here.”

“He is a legal criminal and there is no way he is allowed to stay in this country.” The guard explained darkly, glaring at the two young lovers almost distastefully. “He will be leaving for Spain immediately. That is final. Strict orders from the King himself.”

“Then I am gong with him.” Louisa said strongly.

“Louisa…” Daniel breathed. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I want out. I want out of these stupid rules and…and politics and laws that are just so unfair. I do not want to be told who I must marry. I want to marry who I want.”

“You want to marry me?” Daniel let a small smile come to his face and she nodded eagerly, pulling him in for a desperate kiss.

“Princess Louisa. It is time to go.” The guard grabbed her arm again.

“I am not going back there.” Louisa shook her head, moving to stand beside Daniel and linked her arm in his. “I will not be going anywhere without Daniel.”

“It is forbidden for you to flee with a prisoner. You will be returning to the palace at once.” the second guard tried to grab her, but she jumped behind Daniel for protection.

“I can calm her down.” Daniel told them. “Please. I’ll get her to go with you, just give us a moment to talk.”

“Daniel.” Louisa frowned at him.

He glanced at her before looking back to the guards. “I swear it; I’ll behave. I know the consequences if I run. Just please uncuff me and give us a moment to speak. Please.”

The two guards looked at each other before they sighed, and the first guard took out the keys to the handcuffs and opened them up. Daniel brought his hands around his body to his front and winced at the angry red lines that were pressed into his wrists as he flexed his fingers a moment with relief from the harsh steel. He then turned to Louisa and led her a few paces away. The guards started to jump at their movement, but Daniel held a hand up to assure them it was fine.

Just out of earshot from the Royal Guards, Louisa fell into a mad rush of desperation,

“I am not going back with them. I do not know what you are thinking but I refuse it. I am not gong back not matter how much-”

“Just shut up for a second.”

Daniel’s grin made her stop, staring at him as he took her face in his hands.

“Are you serious about all this, Louisa? Do you promise that you’re serious right now?”

“Yes.” she nodded quickly. “I have been running all night to find you. I cannot go back there without you. You are all I want.”

“And you are not gong to change your mind?”

“Never.” Louisa shook her head quickly.

“Okay.” Daniel licked his lips anxiously, his thumbs rubbing softly over her cheeks and he glanced over at the guards who were staring at them. He looked back to Louisa. “Then we need to go now.”

“I know. I am going to go to Spain with you.”

“No, no. Think those guys will let you leave with me? Not a chance.” Daniel whispered, dropping his hands into hers as casually as he could. “We’re gonna need to make a run for it.”

“Where?” Louisa’s stomach was twisting with anxious excitement, staring into his eyes that were full of life and adventure.

Without tearing his eyes from her, Daniel said, “The notice board when we were coming in said the ship at the end is departing at 09:00. That is really soon.”

“Where is it going?”

“I don’t know but we can make it there, right?”

“Think so.”

“And you’re sure about this?”

“Never been more sure of anything before.” Louisa agreed, meeting him halfway for a quick kiss.

“Okay. On my word we’re gonna run.” Daniel took a small step back from her, appearing to onlookers as if they were saying their last goodbye, his hands stuck in hers and he paused a moment to just look at her.

Louisa’s heart was hammering hard in her chest and he sent her a promising smile as he slipped his hands out of hers and took a small step backwards towards the guards. She saw them preparing the cuffs again and for a second she didn’t believe him, thinking he was about to turn himself back in, right when they were so close.

But his sudden, “Now!” had them bolting off down the harbour.

“Hey!” the guards screamed, running after them as well, their large uniforms making it difficult to keep up as they pushed through the crowd and struggled over stray trunks.

Louisa was shrieking with laughter, holding up the front of her ruined wedding gown as they flew over the wooden boardwalk, the dress rippling behind her as they dodged a line up of people. They were running just like they had months before in the palace kitchen when they nearly first met. So much had changed since then. It was no longer desserts they were running to save, but their own freedom.

Daniel knocked over a woman in the process of their hasty escape, but he could only reach for Louisa’s hand and pull her after him, a huge cunning grin on his face as their shoes beat down against the wooden boards of the harbour. The ship at the end of the dock had already been untied and was beginning to depart from the shore. Daniel pulled Louisa over a stack of crates as they hoped the rope at the end of the harbour and took a leaping jump onto the deck of the departing ship.

They fell messily onto the deck in fits of breathless laughter, taking a second to regain themselves and Daniel got up to look over the edge of the ship to see the two Royal Guards standing helpless by the harbour railing in the distance as they pulled away from shore.

“Oh my God, we did it.” Daniel laughed, turning back to Louisa who wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He set his hand on her face to pull her lips on his, smiling widely into it.

They had really pulled it off. It felt unreal, like Louisa was really living in one of Anna’s plays. Was this going be her happy ending?

“Hey, you two! You need to pay for tickets! No stowaways!” one of the crewmen scolded loudly, forcing them to pull apart as he approached.

Daniel and Louisa were a breathless mess admits their laughter from their run and Louisa pulled off her engagement ring to hold it out to the man, “Will this cover the cost?”

He glanced at the full diamond ring before looking back to the couple. He nodded and held out his hand for it. Louisa set it in his palm and thanked him softly, leaning into Daniel as he slid his arms around her waist.

“Where is this ship going, sir?” Daniel asked, resting his head against Louisa’s.

The crewman took a lingering glance at the young couple in front of him and he couldn’t help but smile at their obvious love, overpowering the fact that they had no belongings with them and nothing to their name. He looked down at the engagement ring in his hand and then, with a change of heart, passed it back to Louisa, “We are headed for America.”

#daniel seavey #christian seavey #jonah marais #jack avery #zach herron #corbyn besson #why dont we #why dont we music #wdw #why dont we fanfic #why dont we imagines #daniel seavey imagines #daniel seavey fanfic #historical fiction #limelight #wdw fanfic #wdw imagines #👑

[softliebgott]

LEMONADE LIPS AND MARSHMALLOWS

You and your family have managed a somewhat peaceful farm life during the war until you discover two soldiers, George Luz and Frank Perconte, raiding your barn. Disappointed, but nonetheless grateful for the army’s presence, you invite them to have dinner for a proper meal. We all need some Luz Fluff™, or just some softness in general. This is my first attempt at writing Luz, so go easy (pun? yes) on me 😅 

TRANSLATIONS: Oma = grandma, Hurensohn = son of a bitch, rag = 40′s slang for “make fun of”

TAGS + MASTERLIST: If you would like to be tagged in future requests, go here and add your username below! Link to the masterlist is here.

@general-taylor @mgdln97 @gottapenny @endorians @morgan108 @thegermansarebad @floydtab @snafus-peckuh @wexhappyxfew @scarecrowmax @madamsledge @easyroses @ineffablewants @junojelli @inglourious-imagines @sunflowerchuck @adamantiumdragonfly @luz-lovebot @alienoresimagines @fandomscenariosforyou @ray–person @noneofurbusinez @tvserie-s-world @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant @keoghans​

March 11, 1945

Sturzelberg, Germany 

Farm life, the absence of human pollution; sound, smell, and people themselves, until the American army came to settle in the town nearby. You didn’t mind. In fact, you were grateful. Germany’s dictator was losing his hold on the reins he sought to keep steady.

A dirt road, reminiscent of chocolate powder, cut past a field. Out of this empty land your family’s farm rose up with its buildings like a huddle of old, painted vessels floating in still water.

The sun embraced its newfound world with warmth that felt different than when the war was at its worst. Perhaps the earth felt it could finally breathe, knowing its body would no longer suffer great wounds from weaponry. It wouldn’t have to weep as it welcomed more of the dead. 

Walking the fields with your father, you bent down to pluck a ripe tomato from its brittle stalk, and then bit into it. Acidic, like an apple. Sweet, like a strawberry. Juicy, like a plum.

“(Y/N),” came your father’s gravelly voice. Knelt down beside a tomato stalk, he looked at you from over his shoulder. His gray eyes, rivaling the polished metal of a suit of armor, reflected the sun’s glare. The map of wrinkles on his face spoke of an incredible journey. His eye lines held echoes of laughter and warm smiles, while his forehead told of worries past and worries present. Sixty years of his story ingrained in him, telling of the man he became; kind, compassionate, and a little tired. Amused, he smiled. “What shall I tell your mother?”

“What both of us already tell her, papa.” You moved to his side, gripped his shoulder, and bent at your knees to whisper, “Rabbits.” You lifted your brow.

He chuckled, crow’s feet lines creasing the edges of his eyes. Your favorite laugh. The kind, when you were a little girl, you loved to feel rock his chest when you hugged him or fell asleep to in his arms. 

You straightened up, smiling impishly as you took another bite of your tomato.

“Perhaps before you tempt me to have a few, could you check the hens for eggs and milk Gerdy? Your mother is wanting to make *Oma’s Apple Cake.”

“Yes, papa.” 

You left the field, finishing your tomato as you headed for the barn. Pulling the wooden door open, light spilled in and washed over, to your shock, two American soldiers standing on a crate and raiding the eggs. One held a hen, while the other had been using his helmet to pile eggs into. Their attention was snagged by you.

“Guten tag, Fraulein.” The soldier holding the hen smiled. He gazed at you through deep-set, hickory brown eyes. A few strands of hair, similar in color to his eyes, hung loose over his forehead. His features, rugged, yet soft, seemed boyish. To you, it felt like he was one of those little boys who tried to grow up too fast.

You folded your arms against your chest, brow furrowed. “You have no right to be stealing.” You did not expect such behavior as this. It disappointed you. 

“Hey, Miss, we’re fighting Hitler,” the other soldier said. “I think we have a right.”

You chewed on the inside of your cheek. He was half right, but you were in no mood to argue, but to come to an agreement. “You won’t have a proper meal with just eggs. Come on inside and we’ll fix you something.”

The soldiers exchanged looks.

Leading them to your house, the soldier who had first greeted you matched your pace, eager in talking to you, while his friend muttered, “Luz, leave her alone.”

“Hey, what’s your name?” Luz asked.

“(Y/N).”

“I’m George. You sure do speak English well.”

“My mother wanted me to learn for when the British would come, but...”

George grinned, tuning his voice to a deeper tone in a British accent. “Ole Churchill needed an edge of Americanism in his tea.”

You giggled. “We are grateful that you are here.”

He had not made a woman laugh, or heard one such as yours, more attractive to him than woodland birdsong, in years. He wanted to hear it again, to see the way your eyes squinted, and to hear your jumbled words. The laughter and smiles of his friends would never get old, for he strove to give them those little pleasures. Now, he wanted to make you laugh so he could feel that warmth he lit for others.

Inside your family’s quaint home, you introduced the soldiers to your mother, who was washing dishes. “Momma, this is George Luz and Frank Perconte. I caught them stealing our eggs.” You looked as smug as a dog stealing a Christmas goose. “I thought we could make them a proper meal as compromise.”

“Oh, you boys shouldn’t have to steal to get a good meal. Come, sit down.”

Thanking her, George and Frank propped their guns against the wall next to the coat rack. You wondered how many lives those weapons reaped, and it made you think of your brother and cousins who had been drafted. No news had come of their deaths yet, and you often begged to God to spare them through muffled sobs in the night.

Frank offered the helmet-full of eggs to you, the edge of his mouth curling. His eyes reminded you of the chocolate your mother would melt for her cakes. Fine, smooth, and inviting. “Sorry for raidin’ your barn,” he said.

You smiled, taking the olive green helmet. “I’m glad to have caught you.”

As you moved to the counter, the wooden chairs behind you growled against the hard flooring as the men sat themselves. You looked over your shoulder to them. “Would you like some lemonade?”

“Boy, would I.” George beamed.

“Yeah, I’ll take some, too.” Childlike enthusiasm brimmed in Frank’s eyes.

You retrieved the pitcher of lemonade from the fridge and then reached for two glasses from the overhead cupboard.

“They are both such handsome men. They remind me of your brother and cousins,” your mother whispered. 

“I just hope they can come home.” You poured the lemonade into the glasses, its tartness rubbing uncomfortably at your nasal cavity.

“They will. I have hope.”

“Is hope enough anymore?” You questioned, heartache softening your gaze.

Your mother tilted her head, eyebrows squished together. Truth was, she had been trying to keep positiveness afloat, but you kept punching holes in the raft. She sighed, averting her eyes and continued to prepare the meal.

A traditional roast of heavily marinated meat, bread rolls, and potato dumplings were prepared. Your father had come in for a break, taken aback by the presence of American soldiers, but had immediately shook hands with them. He was just as grateful to have them here as you were.

“Hey.” Frank bumped his elbow against George, irked. “You gonna take all the rolls? That’s your third one.”

“What are you gonna do, Per-Short-Te, punch me over this nice family dinner?”

You quietly laughed to yourself. You and your parents hadn’t had a dinner such as this after your brother and cousins left. Light-hearted, and distracting their minds from wandering into those claustrophobic tunnels of anxiety.

George noticed your quiet laughter. He caught your eyes and his face softened. Unbeknownst to you, you had the right colors to paint him where the war had watered him down to dismal grayness. He didn’t want this dinner to end. He wanted time alone with you.

You sucked in your lower lip. You had been studying him throughout the meal when he wasn’t looking. You noticed how his bottom lip was fuller, and wondered if you could taste the lemonade if you’d kissed him. Fearful that he could decipher your thoughts in your expression, you forced your eyes down to your lap.

“How long will you be staying in Sturzelberg?” Your father asked.

You felt George’s boot touch your foot, and cold, static-y surprise overwhelmed your body. You glanced up to him as he took a swig of his lemonade. He winked, and heat rushed to your cheeks while you gained a heart beat between your thighs.

“Could be a night or two. We don’t usually know for how long wherever we go,” Frank replied.

“Hey, uh, where’s your bathroom?” George asked.

“Oh.” Your mother’s eyebrows perked up. “(Y/N), could you show this young man where the bathroom is please?”

You felt air catch in your throat. “Yes, Momma,” you said quietly, rising from your seat. 

Yours and George’s movements irritated the senior chairs, triggering arthritic creaks from their legs. You led George out of the kitchen and into the hall. The cornflower blue, floral walls were adorned with framed pictures and embroideries. The wall sconces, wearing earrings of long, fake crystals, often struggled to keep their territory lit as streetlights did at night. 

A bubble of awkward silence swelled between you and George, until he stopped to look at a portrait of a young man in uniform. “This your boyfriend?” He asked. 

“No, that’s my brother.”

“Do you and your family, uh...like Hitler?”

“No, no.” You shook your head. “We loathe him, and even more-so after the men in our family were drafted.”

“I have a theory that he wears a hair-piece. He walks outside one morning, and one gust of wind turns him into a chrome-dome with a penciled mustache. Mr. Honcho holds his bald head and whines.” George placed his finger below his nose to imitate a mustache, deepening and strangling his voice to mimic Hitler. “Hurensohn!” He spoke more, but of jumbled nonsense to rag Hitler about his energetic speeches. “He’s stompin’ away, and his SS boys are chasin’ after the hair piece down the street like it’s a loose dog.”

There it was. Your smile, your laughter. His new favorite sight and sound. His chest and stomach became lightweight, as if he had taken flight. Holy shit, I’m done for, he thought.

After you had shown George to the bathroom, you retreated to your room, wanting to do your daily ritual of looking at your favorite photo album. You sat on the edge of your bed, the album open and resting on your lap. The pictures it embraced featured your favorite memories all the way up until your brother and cousins put on their uniforms. You wanted to save the last few pages for when they would return.

You knew their smiles would either go into hiding or be wrung out of them like water from a cloth. Their laughter would be hard to beckon out, and their minds would be battered vases. You and your parents were determined to help mend those cracks with the priceless gold that came from love, such as the Japanese art form, Kintsugi.

Life would be different, but at least they’d be alive.

“This your room?”

You looked over your shoulder at George, his eyes bouncing about the area in childlike curiosity.

You smiled, closing the photo album. “Yes.”

He approached your bedside. “Mind if I?” He gestured to your bed.

You shook your head and set the album on your nightstand. The bed dipped with his weight, and for a moment you felt you would lose your balance and tip backward onto him. He laid down on his back, crossing his legs. “Jesus Christ, it’s like lying on a marshmallow.” He shifted uncomfortably.

You faced him, a smile playing at your lips. “What have you been sleeping on all war?”

“Uh, well, let’s see. Cold, hard grounds with a side of foxholes.” He turned his head to you. “But speaking of marshmallows, you got any?”

You went out to the kitchen to retrieve a bag of sizable marshmallows, earning questionable glances from your parents and Frank. When you returned to your room, you sat with George and indulged in the puffy treats. Your hands became sticky and little bits of white flesh lingered on your skin like how Styrofoam would. 

Your mind kept trying to yank you back to thoughts of your family in the army, and it occurred to you that since there was a soldier right next to you, you could ask him about things you often wondered about. “What has the war been like...?” You asked.

“Well,” George’s voice was muffled by his chewing. “It’s different for every guy. Different for every army. There’s good times, and there’s bad. Some guys try to make light of things to ease the bad, right? Well, take that for the time my boys and I were in England for continued training. Our commanding officer and drill instructor was Captain Sobel. He didn’t know what the hell he was doin’, and we were hidin’ behind this big bush and couldn’t break silence. That is, until one of the boys told me to mimic Major Horton to fuck around with Sobel.” 

George pulled out two marshmallows, shaping one to appear skinnier. He held it up in one hand, “Here’s Sobel, and here’s me.” In his other hand he held the normal sized marshmallow. He began to imitate Horton and Sobel, squishing the marshmallows to make it appear as if they were talking. He told the story, earning from you grins and giggles. “I got him to cut the barbed wire fence, and he ended up releasin’ a whole herd of cows. He got his ass chewed out by the Major later.”

He wasn’t sure if you were aware of the captivating picture you made when you smiled. He hoped you did. You were more enthralling than a pulsing light show of fireflies in the night, but it gave him the same feeling of being spellbound.

“There’s moments like that, and then the real thing comes out of nowhere.” George grabbed a handful of marshmallows and scattered them to represent the trees in Bastogne. As he told you about the sudden onslaught of German artillery, he ripped the marshmallows apart just as the trees had been. Boom. Rip. Boom. Rip. 

He seemed hypnotized, like a vampire obsessively counting rice. He was lost in the memory that haunted his dreams, stained his eyes with the blurred vision of black and white explosions, and echoed in his ears with the screams of Muck and Penkala. Numb, his voice went dull as he relived it before his eyes.

You didn’t laugh or smile, but this is what you asked for. What it was like. You wondered if you shouldn’t have asked. You had disturbed those memories, and now George was lost in their raging sea.

“Two of my buddies were hit directly in their foxhole...and the other lost his leg.” He was there again, innards trembling and his mind blank as he stared at Toye lying in the snow, his leg looking like messily butchered, raw chicken. 

“I’m so sorry...I can’t imagine what that must have been like.”

“Yeah...war is hell.” George didn’t meet your eyes. The liveliness had abandoned him.

Guilt-ridden, you cautiously reached for his hand, which clutched at the torn remains of marshmallows. You unlocked his grip, the pieces falling onto your bed, and tangled your fingers with his. The stickiness from the marshmallows welded your hands together.

He released a breath he had been holding and closed his eyes, the tension draining from his body. He squeezed your hand.

“Hey, Luz, c’mon. We gotta head back.” Frank’s voice sounded from the hallway.

George opened his eyes to you, his thumb stroking your hand.

You followed him out of your bedroom, having given him the bag of marshmallows. You didn’t want him to leave, but you certainly wanted to see him again. Whenever that may be. Thus an idea came to you. You snatched a small photograph of yourself from your mother’s China cabinet and wrote a note, your address, and phone number on the back in spidery handwriting.

“George, wait.” You approached him as he and Frank grabbed their rifles. You handed him your photograph, heart drumming. “A reminder that if you need a safe place to come to, it’s here.” 

George smiled at your picture, thinking, better than any pin-up girl. He carefully put it in his jacket’s inner pocket. “I’ll be seein’ ya, gorgeous, whenever this war ends.” He winked, popping a marshmallow into his mouth, and slung his rifle over his shoulder.

You had watched him and Frank leave the property, grinning when George looked back over his shoulder and smiled, his cheeks stuffed with marshmallows like a squirrel.

How you wanted to kiss those stubbled cheeks.

As the sun closed its blaring eye, you sat in bed, writing in your journal. Every sentence you tried to write started with George and ended with your heart wanting to burst open, less like gates during a flood and more like a peach growing on a vine. So ripe. So ripe, so ready for the fall.

A rhythmic tap at your window froze you. Could it be the wind using a tree branch to make its nightly tunes again? No, because you saw a human shadow, a cookie cutter shape in the pool of moonlight. You closed your journal and peeled the sheets and blanket away.

When you approached the window, your heart fluttered in surprise. George. You unlocked the window and slid it up. “George, what are you doing here?”

He awkwardly climbed through, almost stumbling to the floor. After you closed the window, you met his eyes, and you found where the sun had gone; in his smile, the warmth echoing in his voice. “I want to feel safe tonight.”

Heat rushed to your chest, and your body quivered as if on low blood sugar as George stripped down to a cotton white shirt and boxer shorts. He joined you beneath the covers, his dog tags clanking. He snaked a hand around your waist and pulled you snug against him, like two perfect puzzle pieces fitting. He caged you within his arms, and you felt a heartbeat much stronger between your thighs this time. He smelled like an ashtray, but you didn’t care as you nuzzled your face into his chest.

“You know, at first I considered you out of my league,” he said. “Oh, how the mighty have fallen into my arms.”

You laughed into his chest.

#george luz #george luz x reader #band of brothers #easy company #hbo war #band of brothers fanfiction #frank perconte #george luz imagine #band of brothers imagine #bob imagine #rick gomez #hbo war imagine #hbo war fanfiction

[just-random-obsessions]

Funny Moments In Thor The Dark World

Find Thor 1 here

Find Avengers 1 here

This is the second part of me watching all three thor movies and the avengers movie and comparing the humor pre-ragnarok to the humor in the 3rd Thor movie. And, as before, I’m writing this on my computer where the I and U keys don’t work so sorry for any spelling mistakes.

Tag List: @nikkoliferous @fyrecrafted @lokijiro @miskiett @darthxerik @icyxmischief @iamanartichoke @juliabohemian @official-and-unstable-satan @melodylnoelle @just-another-human-2019 @fandomsfanfiction @mentallydatingahotcelebrity @cateyes315 @burningarbiterheart @imnotacreepijustlikeyou @usedtobegoodfriend96 @alexakeyloveloki

Official-and-unstable-satan and fandomsfanfiction weren’t tagged sry

Anyone who wants to be added/removed to the tag list please let me know! and if I missed someone please also let me know. Sorry this post is so long

~ “Hello Mother. Have I made you proud?”

~ “Please don’t make things worse” “Define worse”

~ “I really don’t see what all the fuss is about”

~ “Just like you”

~ *That smile!!!!*

~ “I’ve got this completely under control!” “Is that why everything’s on fire?”

~ *About the Scary MonsterTM: “All yours”

~ *Thor says hi to the Big Scary MonsterTM*

~ “I accept your surrender”

~ “Anyone else?” *All the people simultaneously: NOPE*

~ “Perhaps next time we should START with the big one”

~ *Odin obviously shipping Thor and Jane* (idk I got a kick out of this)

~ *Jane awkwardly avoiding her date*

~ *Date: hi*

~ *Him awkwardly talking about his ex*

~ “And the fact that she kept sleeping with other men” “NO!”

~ *Darcy being mistaken for a waitress*

~ *Darcy mouthing “Cute” to Jane about Richard*

~ *Darcy embarrassing Jane by talking about Thor*

~ “Is there a point to all of this cause there REALLY needs to be a point to all of this”

~ “That’s what I said!”

~ “That’s what I did!”

~ “He’s not interested” “I’m interested” (Am I the only one who feels like his awkwardness was actually kinda cute?)

~ “He’s my intern.” “You have an intern?”

~ *Intern is fucking adorable like Richard*

~ “I have totally mastered driving in London!” *Has not mastered it at all*

~ *Selvig running around Stonehenge naked*

~ *Darcy keeps calling Ian ‘Intern’*

~ *Darcy calls Jane cause she didn’t wanna shout*

~ God I fucking love Darcy she’s so criminally underrated

~ “I am not getting stabbed in the name of science”

~ “It’s okay, we’re Americans!” “Is that supposed to make them like us?”

~ “We’re scientists-well I am” “Thanks”

~ “That doesn’t seem right”

~ “I wanna throw something! Jane give me your shoe!”

~ *Jane ignores Darcy*

~ “Give me your shoe”

~ “Were those the car keys?”

~ *Ian’s face when he realizes he threw the car keys to another planet*

~ *If you have to bury so many people then you’re doing something wrong you hot dumb fuck* (I mean that’s basically what Heimdall said right?)

~ “Typical” *after being left behind while Jane goes to talk to her boyfriend*

~ *Jane! Love of my life and most talented and beautiful person in the world oh how I love yo-SLAP*

~ “As excuses go, its not terrible”

~ “I know” “You do?” “Do what?”

~ *Darcy interrupts the KissTM*

~ “Um I’m pretty sure we are getting arrested”

~ “How’s space?” “Space is fine”

~ “He’s my intern… My intern’s intern”

~ “Holy shit!” (after Jane went up in the Bifrost)

~ *Heimdall calmly dodges the car*

~ “We have to do that again”

~ “Hello”

~ “What’s that?”

~ “It’s a soul forge” *No I’m pretty sure that’s a quantum field generator*

~ *Jane being ready to fight Odin for comparing her to a goat*

~ “You told your dad about me?”

~ “It must be so inconvenient, them asking about me day and night”

~ “Please meet my mother” *Jane shies away from Thor*

~ Loki casually tossing the thingamajig in the air like the cute little shit he is

~ Lord, he’s so damn pretty

~ *Kurse being like: Lol I ain’t touchin’ that boy with a ten foot pole*

~ “It’s as if they resent being in prison”

~ “There’s no pleasing some creatures”

~ *Loki calmly reading a book while all Hel breaks loose*

~ “You have my word that no harm will come to yo-” nvm bitch die

~ *THAT look between Sif and Jane*

~ *Frigga immediately seeing through Odin’s bs lies*

~ *Heimdall: I have defeated the big space ship!! The bigger one behind him: Bitch you thought*

~ “WITCH!!!!” *Now I know who Loki gets his amazing aforementioned smile from*

~ *Selvig using shoes to explain complicated science*

~ *Selvig then using pencils*

~ “Any questions?” “Yeah, can I have my shoe back?”

~ “What’s SHIELD?” “It’s a secret”

~ *Darcy’s cute af face when she sees that Selvig is in the mental hospital*

~ “Are you sure you wouldn’t just rather punch your way out?”

~ *Loki shapeshifting into the guard*

~ “Mmm Brother, you look ravishing”

~ “Costumes a bit much”

~ “So tight!”

~ “I can FEEL the righteousness surging!!”

~ “HEY wanna have a rousing discussion about truth?”

~ “Honor?”

~ “Patriotism?”

~ “GOD BLESS AMERICA!”

~ “At last. A little common sens-”Bitch are you really fucking kidding me? (What do you mean that’s not what he said?)

~ “I thought you liked tricks”

~ “I’m Loki, you may have heard of-” SLAP

~ “That was for New York”

~ “I like her”

~ *Loki gazing lovingly at Jane in the background*

~ “Betray him, and I’ll kill you.” “It’s good to see you too Sif”

~ “If you even think about betraying him-” “You’ll kill me? Evidently there will be a line”

~ “I thought you said you knew how to fly this thing.” “I said how hard can it be?”

~ “Whatever your doing brother I suggest you do it faster.” “Shut up Loki

~ “You must’ve missed something.” “I didn’t, I’m pressing every button on this thing”

~ “Well don’t hit it. Just press it, gently.” “I aM pReSsInG iT gEnTlY AND ITS NOT WORKING!!!”

~ *Thor starts slamming buttons and it starts working*

~ *Volstagg: Oh fighting is much fun- OH SHIT IM FALLING!! HELP!!!*

~ “I think you missed a column.” “Shut up”

~ “Why don’t you let me take over? I’m clearly the best pilot”

~ *Bitch I’m the one who can actually fly*

~ “Oh dear. Is she dead?”

~ *Thor knocks over a column* “Not a word”

~ “Now they’re following us”

~ “Now they’re firing at us”

~ “Yes thank you for the commentary Loki, it’s not at all distracting”

~ “Well done, you just decapitated your grandfather”

~ *Seriously, whoever wrote the escape scene is a genius!!!*

~ *Loki yelling at Thor about how thIs was a bad idea you dumb fuck- wait wtf are you doing AAAAHHHHH!!!!1*

~ “You lied to me. I’m impressed”

~ *That smile again snfnejaihfeqrqrsbdsalxdjewonjfeq*

~ “For Asgard!” YEET

~ “Nothing personal boys!”

~ “If it were easy, everyone would do it”

~ “Are you mad?” “Possibly”

~ “TADAAA”

~ “Oh yeah, my father. Eric Selvig”

~ “And these” “yeah… those”

~ “How did you find me?” “You were naked on television”

~ “I don’t get paid enough. I don’t get paid at all”

~ “What’s happening? Birds? Birds are happening?”

~ “All right are you ready?” “I am”

~ *phone rings* “It’s not me”

~ “Why are there so many shoes in here?”

~ “I’ll just text her”

~ “So who’s Richard?”

~ *Thor hanging his hammer on a coat hanger*

~ “Where are your pants?” “Oh he says it helps him think”

~ “Loki is dead” “Oh thank God!”

~ “Better get my pants”

~ “Do you even know what these things do?” “No” “…Neither do I”

~ “Ooh get the guy with the sword!”

~ “Oops”

~ *Ian’s high-pitched scream*

~ *Does car insurance cover My Car Was Sucked Into Another Planet Due To A Cosmic Event That Only Occurs Once Every 5000 Years or no?*

~ *Thor and Malekith fighting between worlds and poor little Mjolnir trying to keep up*

~ *The two of them against windows*

~ *AAAHHH*

~ *Awww! Look at the cute little Jotunheim monster! He’s so adorable I wanna pet him so much!’

~ *Darcy and Ian kissing after he saved her life*

~ “Darcy?” “Jane!” “Ian?” “Selvig.”

~ “Myuh Myuh!!”

~ *Thor ends up on the subway*

~ *The girl taking 50 photos*

~ *Thor and the woman colliding into eachother*

~ “I’ve come to accept your surrender”

~ *Malekith gets crushed by his own ship. Now that’s some lovely karma right there*

~ *Darcy and Ian go back to kissing*

~ “He kinda committed treason on our way out” oops

~ Jotunheim Puppy chasing birds

Wow I’m so sorry this was so long. But guess what? It’s gonna get even longer. Sorry, again.

So one of the differences between the first and second Thor movies is that Thor 2 has humor in the climax whereas Thor 1 doesn’t. This is because of the differences with who is the villain. In Thor 1, Thor is having to fight his brother. To quote Avengers, they “played together and fought together” for several millennia. Of course there’s not going to be any humor in it cause there shouldn’t be. The climax at the end of the movie isn’t supposed to be some epic battle between the forces of Good TM and Bad TM. It’s supposed to be tragic that he’s having to fight his own brother because Loki lost his mind due to so many factors. The last joke in the film is “You’re an amazon liar brother, always have been” “It’s good to have you back”. There’s nothing else till the end credit scene. That’s because Kenneth Branagh knew that this was supposed to be viewed at as being sad a hopeless, not some awesome upbeat battle.

Thor 2 on the other hand, is exactly that. Thor has known Malekith for.. what? 2 days? Maybe 3? His relationship and dynamic with Malekith is different than with his brother. To Thor, this is just another enemy attacking Asgard. And I’m not sure whether this was intentional or not (because I remember reading somewhere how Allen Taylor had a bitch of a time in the editing process so I think the movie came out different than he intended) but the lack of any personal relationship will Malekith means the film can make really funny jokes and still have it fit with the film. If anything, I might even argue that the humor helped the film to maintain a very nice positive vibe. Idk I can’t think of the right words to explain it but the jokes actually fit the film very well.

However, then we move on to Ragnarok. With Ragnarok, Thor is fighting his sister. While (just like Malekith) he has only known her for two days, that still doesn’t take away the fact that he is having to fight his sibling. And I’m not a film director but if I had the option of approaching this situation and taking it the Thor 1 route or the the Thor 2 route, I’d go with Thor 1. Because it’s actually incredibly tragic that Hela has been driven to insanity like Loki (though ok a different level) due to Odin’s shitty parenting. She is the horrible way she is because Odin made her that way. And that could’ve been an AMAZINGLY complex story with the audience feeling so much sympathy for Hela like we did with Loki in Thor 1, but the narrative just falls flat for two reasons. 1) Taika admitted he didn’t want the film to be emotionally complex so 2) The humor in the climax completely detracts from the seriousness of the situation.

Also, some side notes: Yes, this is edited from the original. I accidentally deleted everything and then had to go back and add everything back in. So I also had to re-tag people too. And I also added a bit more explanation at the end. I meant to do so when I originally posted but it never got done till now. Sry. Also sry that it’s so long

#dr badass jane foster #anti ragnarok #anti thor ragnarok #my meta #thor the dark world #thor 2 #thor #loki

[stonecoldcrazy0510]

A night at the pub // Roger Taylor x OC

A/N: Hey theeere. It took me a while but I finally found some inspiration for my first Roger x OC blurb/one shot, whatever you wanna call it. I think I might even have an idea for another, so we’ll see :D

But as always, if any of you has some ideas/wishes, whatever, just let me know. I’m always grateful for some inspiration!

Have fun :D

_____________________________________________________________

,,Can I have another Gin and Tonic, please?”, I smiled shyly at the bartender who probably pitied me already. It was my fourth drink of the night, I’ve only been here for a good fourty five minutes, and I didn’t plan on stopping anytime soon. It was friday night and I had actually planned on having an amazing start to the weekend by partying with my best friend but she had been in such a bad mood that it had pissed me off and we’d started fighting.

Actually I was quite a patient person but if I couldn’t handle something then it was people being negative all the damn time. Yes, life was tough but it didn’t get better by dwelling on the things that got us down, right? And anyway… today was supposed to be about celebrating and forgetting about what went wrong, but no, negative Nancy couldn’t stop whining and then I just snapped. She had left the pub half an hour ago, storming out and leaving me behind like a fool. Okay, to be honest… I felt bad now, maybe I had been too hard on her and I’d definitely apologize tomorrow… but tonight I’d get drunk and hopefully have a good time after all, and if I had to do that by myself, I was fine with that.

,,Here you go!”, he put two glasses down in front of me and I raised my eyebrows. Was I so drunk already that I had ordered two drinks? No, definitely not. ,,Uhm-” ,,This blond guy ordered it for you!”, he said, gesturing to a table behind me. I immediately turned around and spotted a table with four guys around it, one blond and the other three with darker hair. Our gazes met and I rolled my eyes, turning back to my drinks, but just a second later this guy appeared next to me.

,,That was quite a show earlier!”, he said and I rolled my eyes once again. Great. Was that his way of flirting? Or was he just trying to make fun of me? Or did he pity me because of what happened with my best friend? 

,,Well, I’m always happy to entertain people!”, I replied sarcastically, pushing the glass with the clear liquid in it over to this guy, taking another look at him. I had to admit that he was quite handsome. His long, ruffled blond hair, the blue eyes and the boy-ish features. Some necklaces were hanging from his neck, he wore a black shirt with a v-neck, a pink blazer over it and black pants… and damn, he looked good in it. 

,,Come on, have a drink with me. I think you deserve it after what happened!”, he pushed the drink back in my direction, as I folded my arms in front of my chest. ,,I can buy my own drinks”

,,Are you joking? You’re a feisty one, aren’t you?”, he chuckled, ordering one more drink, probably to clink glasses with me. Okay, whatever. One drink and then he’d leave me alone, right? 

I took a deep breath, before I reached for my glass and held it out to him. ,,To… having an amazing friday night and… to no more drama!”, he said before our glasses clinked and I downed the liquor with one gulp, only to pull a disgusted face. Eww, pure vodka. Absolutely disgusting. 

,,Not a fan of Vodka, I suppose?”, the mystery guy was laughing, as he was putting his glass down, ordering another round of shots, before licking his lips. Oh my… ,,Not really!” 

,,What are you drinking then? Oh and are you gonna tell me your name or am I gonna have to name you feisty one for the rest of the night?”

I shook my head, tucking a strand of my black hair behind my ear. ,,My name is Ava. And what’s yours, generous mystery man? Aren’t your friends missing you?”, I asked, turning around to look back at the other guys who seemed to have a pretty good time without him though. ,,These idiots are gonna be fine… they don’t need me as a babysitter!”, he answered. ,,Ava. Okay, I can remember that! I’m Roger!”, he introduced himself and held his hand out to me, which I took to shake it for a brief moment. ,,We need to drink to that!”

And with that said we drank the next shot of… ew, this time it was Tequila. Not really better, but hey, whatever. My night just got better because I got to drink with this handsome man and I didn’t even have to spend one more penny. He ordered round after round, shot after shot and I got more drunk with every single one of them.

In between, Roger and I talked about everything and nothing, mostly nonsense, smalltalk… but damn, he got more attractive by the second and maybe I was going crazy but it felt like his eyes became even more blue, now that he was slightly drunk. Or pretty drunk, judging by his slurring. ,,You know, Aver-” ,,Ava”, I corrected and he waved his hands, then putting one of them on my thigh and leaning into me, to whisper the next words into my ear. ,,You look so damn hot!”

With a smug smile on his lips he looked at me, stared right into my eyes and I was hooked. I couldn’t move or speak, all I was able to, was to stare back into these beautiful blue eyes, as he came closer again. I felt the back of his hand slightly brush over my cheek and suddenly I had goosebumps all over my body. Fuck. I was so drunk that I couldn’t see or think straight anymore. I didn’t care about anything. Not about the fight with my best friend, not about the fact that I barely knew him, not about the fact that tomorrow I’d probably regret what I was about to do…

And with that I leaned forward, crashing my lips hungrily against his. He seemed surprised at first and for a split second I was afraid that I totally messed this up, but then his lips moved against mine and soon we stumbled from our seats. Breaking the kiss, he took my hand and pulled me with him to a secluded, more quiet area of the pub. With a smile on my face I leaned against the wall, pulling him closer to me and his lips soon found mine again. My hands were all up in his hair, while his hands were on my hips, tracing the bit of exposed skin there was. God damn, I was so lucky… and I wanted more of this boy. So much more. 

Much too soon he let go of me again. He took a deep breath, looking into my eyes again and there was something special about this glaze… or maybe I was just super drunk. ,,Do you wanna get out of here and continue this… somewhere more private?”

Ohh yes, I wanted to. That’s exactly what I pictured when I talked about an amazing evening… and for us it had just started.

#Roger Taylor #Roger Taylor fanfiction #roger taylor one shot #roger taylor x oc #queen #queen band #queen fanfiction #roger taylor blurb #roger taylor imagine #fanfiction #fanfic #one shot #imagine #fic

[insporaelynn]

📲 raelynn && roman

WHEN: january 24-26th 

DESCRIPTION: just best friends talking and being obsessed with each other. rae confides in him about her ex drama.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: drug mention, probably sex mention.

@romanbeckett​

Roman

Hi love of my life. I miss your face. How’s it going??

raelynn

my baby

god, i miss you too. i'm doing okay, how're you tonight?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

it’s been an off day, not even gonna lie lol super sore and tired. I just wanna be back to normal already

raelynn

oh no

how's your scar healing up? the boys are taking care of you right??

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

it’s okay I guess bleh lol and not tonight. I’m all alone

raelynn

Where's Q? Is Aaron working?

Well I guess I should know that since I'm literally at work. Lmao.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

Q is working on music. Aaron has des tonight

raelynn

ugh. i wanna lay with you and kiss ur face.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

are you busyyy? I can burn us some cookies

raelynn

i'm working but I'd love to see you after if you're still up.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

of yeah you just said you’re at work lmao fucking weed

yes please come by when you’re done

raelynn

LMAO I KNOW THE FEELING

absolutely, i'm yours.

u know niamh was trying to figure out who rue's date was and she was like "is it you" bc i mentioned that I have a dick appt with him tomorrow night.

and i was like. dude, no, for like, a thousand reasons. like, why would that ever be me???

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚n.

oh god, I’m so out of the loop with gossip lately, it’s sad. I didn’t even know he had a date lol

raelynn

it's apparently some big secret but he's having people help him dress up and asking about flowers and candy and niamh is like "bitch is it you" and i'm like. LMAO.

like is there anything about me that says flowers and candy

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

Hahahahahhahahahahaha HAHAHA

that really made me laugh too hard.

raelynn

like, i'm not the flowers girl, i'm the sneak out in the night girl, the middle of the afternoon girl, all those things, but flowers girl???? sdkfdskksd

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

I’m 100p a flowers girl

raelynn

YOU ARE AND YOU'RE WORTH IT MY BABY

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

my parents are coming in to town this week. Gotta tell them I have two boyfriends haaaa. Pray for me

raelynn.

I feel like that should be the least shocking thing about you??? In a good way.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

yeah, I definitely keep them on their toes

raelynn

tell ur boyfriend that if he wants me to continue wearing body glitter he's going to have to pay me extra

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

omg but I love body glitter fyi

raelynn

I did an onlyfans video with Lilah earlier and I'm like 80% sure that I left glitter on her sheets. Like I'm a fucking unicorn.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

that makes me so happy I can’t even lie

I too wanna leave glitter everywhere

man I need to do only fans

raelynn

i would a thousand percent subscribe

both bc i'm a perv and also bc i'm a very supportive best friend.

we could get naked and do a body glitter photoshoot

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

and I love this about you

that sounds like a dream?? Wow

raelynn

would love nothing more than to apply body glitter to ur glorious tiddies.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

my tillies would appreciate it

Hahahaa it hurts to laughhhh

raelynn

SORRY SORRY I'M GOING TO BE VERY SERIOUS NOW

clears throat Um. The National Debt.

it is my understanding that there is. National Debt.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

hahahah I love you

raelynn

Blah blah, topics. Blah blah, smart people jargon, blah blah

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

god it’s so boring isn’t it

would so much rather talk about titties

raelynn

God same.

Like how yours are somehow bigger than mine.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I know, I need some sort of support at this point I think

raelynn

we could get you fitted for bras somewhere maybe that'd be fun

it'd look actually so hot

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

well I already wear lingerie in the bedroom. Might as well.

raelynn

you will be the absolute death of me, you're simply too gorgeous and too sweet to exist.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

stahhpppp you’re making me blushhhh. Right back atcha my babe

raelynn

is there anything you want me to bring you when i'm done here?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

just yourself. I’ve got good ass weed

raelynn

and for the millionth time, i realized, you are my soul mate.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

you’re mine, lovie.

raelynn

i wish i could've had appendix surgery instead of you

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

noooo don’t be silly lol I’m okay darling.

raelynn.

no i hate that you were in pain even for like a second i hate it so much!!

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

stop it, I love you. You cutie. Oh god okay I’m gonna make us cookies.

raelynn

Dont burn the house down my beautiful twin flame

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I always get cookie dough thinking I’ll do better next time. I still have that unearned confidence

raelynn.

Thats bc im always building you up and rightfully so

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

yes you do and I live for it. I also really love fresh cookies right out of the oven, I just want to make that happen

raelynn

I believe in you my little tropical starfish

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

raelynn

literally you

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

hehehehe ⭐️

raelynn

i don't think anybody's ever gonna love me more than you

and i think. i think maybe that's okay?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

that’s not true. You’re gonna find someone who is gonna blow you away

raelynn

yeah but even if i did, would I even be able to love them without being scared of them?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

yeah, I think so. I’ve had to overcome a lot of walls and fears myself that I never thought I could. The right person makes it easier.

raelynn

idk there are a lot of people i could've loved if i hadn't been so....this lmao

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I think it’ll just take some time!

raelynn

you have so much faith in me.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

of course I do. I think you can do anything.

raelynn

i'm not really sure.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

you don’t have to be cause I ammmmm

raelynn

and you're the smartest person in the world

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

in the whole world?? Damn. I’m not near as rich as I should be then.

raelynn

how about I stay over with you tonight and we get some breakfast in the morning? I did really good on tips tonight.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

okay!! I’d love that

raelynn

good 'cause i don't get to spend nearly as much time with you as i wanna

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I knowwww. We haven’t had a sleepover in so long

raelynn

you can cuddle up to me and i'll feed you cookies and kiss your hair

revolutionary. better than therapy.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

Yes!!!!

raelynn

loml

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I finished the cookies baby and I didn’t burn them to a crisp

raelynn

you fucking legend

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I’m pretty damn proud of myself not gonna lieeeee

[...]

raelynn

extremely sad that i couldn't stay at breakfast with you all day

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

same

now I’m bored

raelynn

i swear after i left you my day went down the tubes.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

oh no I’m sorry

who do I need to fight

raelynn

well carson is back.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

oh god, tell me more

raelynn

idk why he's back but wes gave him my number bc i guess when i told him to lose it he took it to heart which like good i wanted him to

but anyway i screamed at him in the chat

everyone called me a hypocrite bc i told ivy to stop being a bitch in the chat awhile back. which tbh i didn't remember even doing, i just be saying shit.

like alex opened his fuckin mouth and i'm like what dog do you have in this fight

oh and DELILAH is moving in with carson bc he's "like her brother!!!" never mind the fact that he cheated on me bc i guess friendship doesn't mean much anymore

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

wow that’s...messy. Wtf lilah though seriously

raelynn.

So then Carson texts me bc wes gave him my number and that felt like being??? Pushed back in time against my will

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

that’s not cool

raelynn

So yeah a lot of crying today

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

*chick with knife emoji*

me rn

raelynn

Cute but lethal

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

*img attachment* 

and not at all high...

raelynn.

you're so hot jesus christ.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

I love you.

raelynn.

love u more than life itself

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

*img attachment of a keychain that says PUSSY WAGON* 

this was recommended to me on Instagram and now I want it.

raelynn

LET'S GET THEM MATCHING.

EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE A CAR

AND THEREFORE NO KEYS FOR SAID CAR

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

it would be perfect for my Volkswagen

raelynn.

omg and with me in it...it really WOULD be a pussy wagon......

big brain

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

hahahahah

raelynn

we should road trip soon

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I would love that so much honestly

raelynn

where should we go?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

Disney world!!

raelynn

will u propose to me there

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

wouldn’t that be romantic as heck

raelynn.

THE most romantic and also we'd maybe get free dessert

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I never turn down anything free.

raelynn

me neither. not the taylor family way

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

hahaha I love you.

raelynn.

we'll start planning a summer trip, just us.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

yay yay yay yay!

raelynn.

i'm gonna wear a tiara the whole time.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.BOT01/25/2021

with Mickey ears?

raelynn.BOT01/25/2021

of course, i'm not a monster.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

hahahaa

[...]

raelynn

I hate dudes.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

they’re a mess aren’t they lol

raelynn

Had a temporary lapse in sanity and agreed to meet Carson for coffee lol and he canceled like 15 mins before we were supposed to meet for a probably fake meeting lmao its so typical but I fell for it

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

babe I’m so sorry

raelynn

Like im just so tired

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

how can I make it better

raelynn.

I don't know honestly and I wish I did.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

I love you.

raelynn

I love you.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

you’re my baby

raelynn

you're MY baby

#texts #texts: roman #ch: roman