#hmm.. much 2 think abt....

[nat-stimmy]

Is smiler ur pronouns or one of ur names /gen

one of my names!

#tho the idea of smile/smiles/smilerself pronouns is pretty cool #hmm.. much 2 think abt.... #asks #not stim

[painterofstars]

no, nononono, get humans wet and staring into each other's eyes — vavoom! sorted. i saw it in a richard kurtis film.

#currently thinking of crowley watching romcoms whilst sighing Longingly. i love him so much #also the way aziraphale looks into the distance after crowley says that... whatre you thinking abt hmm #my art #good omens #good omens fanart #good omens season 2 #ineffable husbands

[hyperionshipping]

"here man you looked cold, that'll warm you up"

"Oh, uh- t-thhanks! Fuckfuckfuck!!!!"

#tricks art #very much OK 2 rb! #dndads #dungeons and daddies #glenn close dndads #***THIS IS MY GAY LITTLE S/I NOT ANY CANON CHARACTER*** #In my heart I know Glenn would have a Down With The Sickness shirt. Trust me #ALSO. im on ep 37 rn!!! #i dont think this would happen but man on the left (my s/i) uses he/they #I'm still thinking a lot abt s/i stuff so I just like drew Me. But I def am thinking abt a demon or just.... Some Guy or slightly not human #hmm hm hmmm #selfship #selfshipping #selfship art #self insert #really love how I did Glenn's nose ^w^ big noses!! #one day I'm gonna study how to draw /my/ big nose but not now eh

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

Thinking abt demomedic again... I think they're both so outgoing and flirty but don't rlly ever expect anything they say to be taken seriously or reciprocated. They both manage to completely catch the other off guard just by actually viewing him as a potential object of romantic affection

#if that makes any sense. it's midnight and i am exhausted #i think they both got asked out as a joke a lot when they were kids yknow. kinda does smth to someone #i know i'm like the only one to think abt demo like this but like. cmon his self esteem is so awful #i just know there's some underlying thing there. and like having someone (anyone) really actually be into him would mean so much #medic he spent every day of his life getting his lunch money stolen i don't need to explain my thought process there #although i do think there is an added layer of like both of them being men. man i need 2 write them. smth with FEELING. hmm #tf2 #team fortress 2 #demo #medic #demomedic #jagerbombs #demoman tf2 #tf2 demoman #medic tf2 #tf2 medic

[moodr1ng]

now i stopped playing pentiment in the middle of act 2 and just checked wiki articles to see what takes place in the rest of the game so maybe im missing some crucial gameplay that wouldve fixed all my issues but. at the risk of being excommunicated (lol) i was rly disappointed w the games structure and thats why i didnt keep going. dgmw i really enjoyed the setting and most of the gameplay and throughout act 1 i was really invested in the story and mystery and investigation, and the game was really cool in a lot of ways. but. in the end. a mystery/investigation story that doesnt have an answer and whoever you accuse will be found guilty and there is no right or wrong just does not work for me and i can only see it as a poor decision.

yes ik that in the end you can uncover the "big bad" mastermind who provoked the murders, but to me putting a twist villain who isnt the actual culprit but who motivated the culprits in the end of the game doesnt make up for, like, the rest of the game? an investigation story where your investigating is meaningless does not make sense to me. was that the point of the game, maybe? to make me feel like nothing i did in the game mattered and i had no power over the setting? i certainly felt that way at times - in act 2, i felt like i had kind of spent the entire first act playing a role (in the rpg sense - as in it definitely felt as if i got to make a lot of choices about who andreas is, what he values, what his morals are) only for that to not matter at all as in the next act i had to play as someone who had made choices that seemed meaninglessly selfish and was in the uncomfortable situation of apologizing in-character for stuff that the character i had previously been playing as, who i thought i was making meaningful choices as, who i had been trying to make as considerate and kind as possible, would not have done.

i think if the point is that i dont actually have control in this game, not over the main character, not over the events, not even over figuring out the truth, then yeah, i had that impression. but thats not really the game i thought i was playing? i thought i was playing a game where my choices mattered and where i was solving a mystery and that was not the case.

idk. maybe i had specific expectations i shouldnt have had, or maybe i just failed to get something about the game, but despite being very beautiful in its graphics and having a lot of fun stuff and interesting characters.. when i finished act 1 i still thought "fuck, i didnt play well enough, i didnt uncover all the clues i shouldve and i didnt get to the correct conclusion, im gonna need to replay this to figure out who the actual culprit was!"... only to find that actually what felt like i had failed this part of the game was the intended way it would go down, and i even had accused the person who imo was the best choice of culprit.. i feel like getting to the end of an investigation arc with what should have been the most satisfying ending for me and instead thinking i had fucked it up and played wrong is a very unsatisfying way to write a mystery and it put me off enough that im not really interested in doing it all over again just so i can finish the game.

#97 #pentiment spoilers #whatever ig #im sure ppl enjoy that part of it since the games so popular so good for those who like it #but it didnt gel w me at all and i was v bummed out by act 2 #and the game gets compared to pathologic a lot which is ironic i think bc pathologic definitely gives you the impression that #you are not in control and you do not have power in this setting #but. idk. in pathologic it felt like the point. it felt like the message. #here it felt more like a blunder ig? #maybe part of it is like.. yeah the characters were cool and all. but definitely not dimensional enough for me to be like.. #invested enough in them and their life to keep playing once i knew that it didnt even matter what i did in the game #and that i could essentially dick around doing nothing of importance and finding no clues and end up w the same results #hmm also thats actually an unfair comparison im making to pathologic bc while it disempowers you #pathologic DOES very much let you explore the mysteries to a satisfying degree. so thats not the same at all actually #i think pathologic IS very rewarding in allowing you to parse out an understanding of its world even when it is very frustrating abt it. #long post

[polaraffect]

current state of politics really got me swerving wildly between "yes I want to present as a man" and "oh god is this even worth it maybe I'm not even really trans" and it's bringing me to my limit

#damien.txt #sorry its like 5 am and i havent slept and wanna vent so. here inam #i really do be having a wild time bc ill have like. weeks at a time where ill be like. wait a second. what if im not trans actually #okay well. never in a 'im 100% not trans' way but in a 'maybe i shouldnt transition' way #and then ill have a day where i wake up and go. oh. i think that feeling is just coming from fear about. the current state of trans issues #because oh my FUCKING GOD am i scared like 24/7 bc of that shit #and so like. then im like. maybe i really am like. actually transmasc. fr. bc i like. literally have been feeling it my whole life. #and then i wake up a couple weeks later back at the beginning like hmm....... but..... what if.... #and im so tired of not knowing!! it's fucking exhausting questioning what the fuck is happening w me every 2 seconds #and im being dramatic abt it but idk. i think its a symptom of neurodivergence or something bc im like. so so scared abt being trans atm #at a level that is. certainly unhealthy. #and it really feels like something that is inhibiting me from doing things in life which is like. upsetting y'know! #but at the same time. the concept of going thru life as my birth gender is... bad. sort of inconceivable at this point. #and this is particularly hard bc like. really going back and forth on making decisions abt taking T. bc when i get in these spirals #abt maybe not being trans. i get the urge to not take it. but like. i cant fluctuate w a medicine like that that much! #but at the same time when i go back to being like oh yeah transmasc... my brain is like cool. take T again. so. fuck me i guess. #idk man. im just like. i just want to live my life without being perceived by others actually #my true gender is no one's business <3 thanks #i am. tired.

[latestdreamgirl]

^^im collecting these ponies like pokemon

#I’m so tired i almost said I’m collecting them like horses . . . #im like. 100% forgetting one or two other characters i ship w #but these r the ones i think abt the most :]c #🌙.luna #🪨.maud #ok hmm. not giving the other two tags bc I don’t think ill talk abt them much here… SORRY 2 THEM 💔 #purring

[parcai]

Oooooohhhh wait ok. Don't answer that long ass ask if u don't want. Think there are definitely things that like, are ALWAYS Jason, like his shit ass humor and work ethnic and thought process when tackling a problem, but also time certainly would've influenced him to be that stoic character u see often 😆👍 jason is very different depending on where he has spent: Jason in New Rome vs Jason in the vs Jason on the argo vs Jason at edgarton ... Hope we can see Jason in the underworld. Maybe he's be super low-key.... He seems to get more relaxed as the books continue, so this him started as a strict scary praetor makes sense, regardless of his personal feelings, he is putting that job and forced leadership role first :)

ofc i will answer it 👰‍♀ loml, joy of my day, laugh of my year.

#HMM okay so i like this answer much better than 💀 whatever the fuck that last one was #ig then stoic jason does not seem as bad in fanon so long as his arc still completes w him being more lax + comfy w himself #i actually dont hope well see him in the underworld tho #i dont trust it i do not think it will b executed well it will cheapen his death #i like what u said abt him putting his role b4 personal feelings. nothing 2 comment but i like how that was worded #jason grace #hoo #toa #logan tag #answered

[thecoolertails]

oh how i wish i had any faith in konami

#my posts #i haven't seen much for the other things but i really dont like what theyre doing with the sh2 remake #and idk you'd think they'd learn their lesson abt leaving that one alone #its like theyre restoring the mona lisa and are like 'hmm well i'll make her eyebrows fuller and her smile bigger' #stop. #if people are gonna do remakes do them like oot3d or tphd or wwhd #you need to respect the original design decisions or you're going to ruin it #if you want to do an over the shoulder NEW silent hill then fine. it was bad in homecoming and downpour but maybe this time it'll work out #but you cant just change the whole framing of a game like silent hill 2. its not resident evil. #sorry to be a negative nancy. i really wish i could be excited about new silent hill #but. im tired man. #konami has a lot to prove and a lot to make up for #not just to fans but even moreso to the devs and everyone involved with these games

[meenah]

ok hot take of the night i think m3gan is better as a pg13 movie! i think having the violence and gore toned down to fit pg13 fits the tone a lot better. sometimes limitations allow for a better final product

#grace post #i wanted to like freaky (movie where teenage girl and old man serial killer switch bodies) but it had #such a goddamn problem of wanting to be funny but the stuff they did to make it fit the R rating felt so overcompensating... i think m3g #balances it out in a better way by being pg13. hmm. much 2 think abt. #either way director's said its a better movie as pg13. sue me.

[seokmatthewz]

trying to figure out this fucking outfit in the middle of the night dndkdmdm

#they only had these pants in a 2 and thats too big so i need a belt hhh #otherwise im not mad at it?? #i need like. some weird sunglasses and good hair to finish the look #i dont think my usual makeup will suit this either but . i will worry abt tht tomorrow NSKDMD #i want to put a jacket or a black oversize dress shirt on top too hmm #my boots r grey and black so theyll fit #i need to find All my silver rings too god #ignore the background of this im standing atop my closed toilet bc there is nary a full length mirror in my abode #ive gotta obsessively root thru my earrings tomorrow too #so much to do. #iri.txt #my face #kinda but not really JDKSKS thats just my me tag

[lazyspeedy]

how r u a terf and listen to muna 😭

#2 of the three members are nonbinary #also no matter how much my brothers and i fight #and my dad can be a asshole #and even when i or ppl i care abt get screwed over dudes #LITERALLY have to tell myself to chill with my fuck men thinking #bcc i have seen some anti men stuff/radical feminism stuff #and whne u explore the rest of their page/account or whatever #it’s like sirens going off #like hmm no #go away 🧍 #^^

[unproduciblesmackdown]

fr incredibly epic subversion move in creep 2 is denying the audience the "understanding" that our perspective is that of Neutral Objective Arbiter. we aren't shown arguments of the protagonist's unfiltered, private thoughts & feelings through visuals or dialogue for us as obstensibly our way to believe she's vulnerable: she is, we understand she understands this, and then we aren't privy to any more "proof" of this by observing whatever attacks or simply emotional duress. we can assess and judge and guess about this person, but the movie doesn't let us believe we're Not, and that instead we're simply "understanding" the conveyed factual information. the killer man uses performance as a way to generate vulnerability, the protagonist young nonwhite woman uses performance to strategically interrupt such efforts from malicious to exploitative to violently so men on like any given tuesday, and the killer man's approach to performance is not truly equipped to react to her adaptation and flexibility; his loss of control turns vulnerability back around on him, whereupon he stumbles and flounders and is knocked off course, while existing in continuous vulnerability even when succeeding at her efforts is, again, any tuesday for the protagonist. putting him in a position of having something to prove just by expressing skepticism abt his threat of eventually killing her. when he tries to leverage Gender to discomfit her by saying she (or, they both) should undress, only to be the one clearly discomfited when instead she simply does so with her nudity a matter of fact (and not really shown, b/c the killer guy's camera pov doesn't just provide some full body shot, he's directing it down, around, at her set, unbothered expression, Showing his own vulnerability in the situation now, unable to deal with her body outside his effort to make its very existence a power play. but isn't being a woman sexual, which is to say, inherently available for consumption by men???). when we get the killer guy's pov as he is looking for the protagonist around the house, increasingly turning it into a threatening sort of hide and seek (kind of creeping around, creepily, even) and we wait for his, and our, expected vision of her being Afraid and Menaced and possibly Attacked, only for her to jumpscare him, and us, knock him on his ass and laugh at him. the killer's like melancholic musings as established in the first film being a situation in which the protagonist plays into the gender of "women provide comfort, emotional support, intimacy!" to extend the relative vulnerability of that and prolong the delay of any violence, how far-fetched....while this narrative of her navigating & kind of heist breaking out of this danger doesn't ask her to like "overcome" or "transcend" that vulnerability like oh hooray she's now Strong enough to win, Too Strong to be thusly vulnerable ever again; nor ever puts forth that she can, or should, ever just turn the situation around completely to win. jumpscaring the guy? still happening in the context of her performing as, at most, "playing along." he's trying to get the advantage over her, she's trying to more so establish / prolong a dynamic of closer to equals to protect herself and interrupt this: despite her inability to take control of the situation / name the game in any lasting way: killer guy is still driven by ego. in the end it's that ego that makes him vulnerable enough for her to again surprise him and us with the final physical fight maneuver to get away, in that last minute and culmination able to drop any performing as her survival strategy, but still able to take advantage of his own performance as means of control and driven by ego

this also compared to horror genre ostensible commentary by way of "subversion" that's just still also misogyny: just Showing women's pain? what else is new. we're asked to recognize it not by understanding it's there as a matter of fact, but by observing and assessing some unfiltered display of it. or the classic of "but if we put a man through the same violence or pain. makes you think huh." or ohh we posited this disabled person as a scary threat but now they're dead b/c they weren't the real threat, makes you think huh? or the classic of "but if we keep the disability as threatening & scary but we also kind of ask the audience to Pity it. makes you think huh." like no, the power dynamic of [the audience (with a clear assumed perspective) is neutral! they must be able to assess and judge The Other onscreen] is there. pity requiring the power difference to Deign to extend it. "well disability is scary but some things are scarier" wow. indulging in [women experiencing violence / harm] as privy observers b/c it doesn't exist if you're not looking right at it, judging it as legitimate for yourself rather than via having to accept the character understands it as legitimate for themself, whether their most unfiltered (in an expectedly externalized way) pain or even simply what was done to them was shown directly to you or not. that women trying to insulate/extricate themselves from harm must also "look" unusually elevated & intense & extreme to be "real," it can't be so matter of fact and even potentially made invisible as for us to be Surprised by the efforts of the protagonist here, and have to wonder what she'll do next, and not be convinced she'll make it out of this forever through taking control and transcending her vulnerability

point is like yeah any character but also any person Making billions should've watched creep 2. the power dynamics not only re: successful Gender relevance in the text but also in the genre of horror, of film itself. the potential violence of looking? that's made constantly relevant. the audience does not get to understand itself as impartial judge. the protagonist doesn't have to earn anything from our assessment: this is a strategic heist, not, again, some kind of commentary on [gender/ed violence, huh?] that presents a Narrative Arc of a woman's who "overcomes" this by becoming "better" (stronger, braver, smarter, etc....). again, with the premise of an egotistical murder man who uses performance and wants to himself be assessed for his own power trip and amusement, the protagonist already prepared to perform in response to such efforts has a survival skill that completely eclipses the ability of murder man, who can only be on the offensive, while not being a mere [just being on the offensive in turn] response which would only become a Power Levels competition. it's not about "winning" at someone else's game that shouldn't exist, it's just about getting through it until there's the opportunity to get away.

and, again, like that we and the protagonist doesn't Need to know if he really means to kill her for real. uneven power and misogyny and the threat of a man and what room there is for her to act in ways that throw off, interrupt, divert, but don't make overt that she's deliberately doing so or threaten in turn? we can understand that this woman is already at all prepared to navigate that; the killer man is not (who, in a true "that is a choice" element of the first movie which is more [whatever] and not required viewing for the vastly superior sequel imo, has implicitly killed mostly to all men before (Choicedly b/c there is given this angle of like, "performing" any affection towards these men. that and the "uh oh! he's Weird!" angle carrying so much more weight like, zzz to the first one. "uh oh! he's a man immediately trying to fuck with this woman!" in the second being much more actually interesting, as well as the performance of / desire/expectation for affection, intimacy from a woman amidst this context of violence like yeah and that's cishet ideals for you!)

anyways yeah lot of media analysis, the pov & not like "negotiating" with the audience to interact w/the understood theme of gendered power dynamics, the audience not getting to think it is granted an objective omniscience, the [this is An Other Person] turned on the protagonist made Relevant, our lack of complete access to her is Relevant, we do not get to expect we are entitled to that full access or forget that we're observing as An Other Person ourselves to instead believe we're a removed, impartial judge who has to be presented with and convinced of every element out here. much more to say but this is like effort #5 & we can't be here all day, gotta throw down a draft at some point, and can't readily rediscover some short essay about it from closer to its actual release. well, it pwns. like i was saying the handling of gender / power going on in there is >>>>>>>> like god knows horror material generally including that which tries to be About it too, but also really just anything in any genre. billions should've watched creep 2 & been different now. imagining s5 where after axe gets peak horribly possessive towards wendy, being outwardly petty towards her over her also shit & boring & Superior artist bf, stalking her about it, sabotaging the relationship about it, secretly taking the portrait of her that he resented her having before....and then we get the repulsive "romantic" scene about wendy going "aw gosh :) you only want me to be [single] so You get access to me!! :))" like and then axe doesn't show up on the helicopter in the end while wendy's like haha i knew :) b/c she rendezvoused with him and killed him. society if only. superhell for real

#other shit doing misogyny (on purpose; overtly) in horror like: but could we know a woman's vulnerable if she's not being physically #overpowered by a man or at least abjectly terrified right in front of us??? so now if she is to survive she must achieve invulnerability #through being Too Strong and Too Brave for it!!! creep 2 rightfully like ''pathetic'' #billions musing on power for a while like hmm maybe don't be a jerk about it? #maybe; billions. maybe. #again the scope expanded by the [power] here within the Context of [physical violence/kill you] but openly Putting That Off #so that 99% of the time this is a known threatened possibility but it's basically (attempts at) being messed with; menaced.... #survival plotline throughout but Not in a way all abt a physical struggle! more thriller / heist energy in the suspense & strategy.... #media analysis times as well in; again; not letting the audience feel Removed as an ''objective'' presence....camera pov re: that.... #anyways. i saw it all of once but it does fuck like can yrs later go yep that was ultimate #audience not even granted the ''objective'' Power over a protagonist woman by being privy to everything for judgment; assessment; approval #did i point out the disability [audience perspective of having the Power to assess & ''pity'' even] thing; yes i did lmao #smh at like sooo much horror shit don't like it don't respect it not interested....and yet the occasional outlier banger #and so much baked into Perspective lol. when the audience pov is thusly Elevated. granted an assumed superiority at all #also don't get me wrong. media in any genre....i tend to not be interested perhaps not like it much don't respect it lmao #don't really partake in all that much; relatively....again creep 2 is >>>> In General outside genre. horror's elevation just sure is eugh #anyways. it pwns so on thinking abt it the other day like ''lol yeah if only all of billions was differenter re: power'' like yeah it pwns

[thrushppelt]

this si so quick and messy but I cant. stop thinking about shard being captured by humans and only when she gets comfortable in her decrepit old age does she die

#hhhrhgrhgh she does like 2 days after getting comfy <- untold horrors plague me #shardstar #profic warrior cats #wc oc #clangen oc #shes literally so old and on her last life #idk if. every cat goes to starclan but tbh. i feel like she wouldn't u_u #every clan cat i mean #IF she does and mouse is there too shed absolutely just. say they went through untold horrors together but she never wants to talk to #him again. while so relaxed and not even caring how hed respond #GOD. i dont think anyone cares abt these guys much but GRRAHH #theyre kinda like bluesnow but without the incest and also they're evil. i guess #i only say that bc shard is basically a blue dupe #hmm maybe she would go to starclan. resident granny who takes care of the kits. WAHH!!!!!!!!

[polaraffect]

venting in the tags yippeee

#damien.txt #gender talk time 🤪✌️ #.................................................................................... #screaming crying throwing up rolling around on the ground <- said completely deadpan #uhm. as always. thinking abt gender. and questioning. my whole life. bc. i cant stop doing that #soooooo like. my big thing. abt gender. is as much as im like. he/they-ing it here and irl. its kind of... complicated? #as ive gone on ive realized more and more that i dont. really. feeling Anything towards those pronouns #neither do i she/her. or they/them. #and just generally the whole Concepts of male/female? so like. im always like hmm. whats happening here #and other completely incoherent statements djbdhdbf sorrry anyways #i keep having these moments where im like. hmm. maybe. im leaning too hard into the masc. maybe i am not. he at all. #but ive like. really full committed to the bit yknow? like esp irl. all the ppl ive introduced myself to in the last 2 years have known me #as 'he'. and as someone who wears mostly masc clothing and generally attempts to present masc #and like. i bought a skirt a while ago and i was trying it on today and i was like oh. wait. #and before u @ me i KNOW!! clothing does not equal gender!! but there was just something abt it #and recently (the past like. year lmao) ive really been contemplating like. what i actually want out of transitioning or whatever #bc like. increasingly its become more obvious how... fucking difficult that is. #and the more i think abt it the more im like. bro its not even worth it for me? tbh? also like. sometimes i look in the mirror and am like #hmm. this does not feel better than it did when i hadnt transitioned at all. yknow? #like the last 10+ years ive been existing in this state w my body where im basically just. tolerating it. ignoring it. even. #and that hasn't... changed. after t. and ik thats not like the fix-all but its got me wondering if some of it/a lot of it #is just body dysmorphia? rather than dysphoria? bc like. god knows i have that too. #and just. idk. i feel Really Really anti-gender most of the time. would in fact. not like to be conceived of at all. #but on some level im trying to think abt it practically bc if that ^ is my thoughts on gender fr. i have to decide whats worth it #and like. i miss cool clothes. god men's clothing is so fucking boring. holy fuck. #and AGAIN i KNOW gender doesnt equal clothes but also like. i am Aware to the wider world it still works like that #and truly if i rocked up to work/class in a skirt everyone would be like What The Fuck #and i kind of want to!! but im also scared of that reaction lol #AHHHH why must gender be so complicated. i want to lay on the floor #lol there was literally more but i ran out of tags LMAOO sorry everyone. gender complicated. peace ✌️

[astrxealis]

hmmmm lightwarden au ideas

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #i haven't thought much abt it :P aside from a very general basic design & the name #astraea :] but idk i might change it hmm. yeah going to think more. but i've been thinking astraea for at least 2 years so ^^ !! #OUGHHH ... i keep telling this to myself but i really should get to. drawing. so i can put all my ideas to actuality #and draw my wol ... :') and how i imagine my azem to look like! mhm #my wol and azem are both so gender lol. uhh my wol is feminine but a little masc and then the other way around for azem! #but both are soft and elegant ^_^ and my wol has short hair while my azem has long hair #i want their designs to be a bit similar but then blah blah blah complex thoughts + appearance changes + lore + etc ?? #yeah. nyway. <3