#how has this not been developed into a novel in its own right

[simon-roy]

The idea of logging on a colonized alien planet brings my mind back to the planet Lalonde from Peter F. Hamilton's Night's Dawn books - a world that had very hard wood as its only meaningful export, and was also stuck developing its economy from agriculturalism (due to investment shortages, though).

All this is to say - Hey! What are some foundational inspirations for your sci fi verse? You gotta have some like recommendations of classic or older sci-fi for us, right? What are some of your suggestions of books and authors to read?

OK SO - My sci-fi tastes have sort of ended up in some very specific niches. Growing up, I was a Larry Niven +Jerry Pournelle man, in part because my dad amassed a huge collection of their books - then gave 90% of them away before i was old enough to read them. So one of my teenage missions was rebuilding that library, trash and all!

Stuff like Footfall, Ringworld, Gil "The Arm" Hamilton, Protector (yes i attempted to name a comic series similarly, and paid for it) "The Mote in God's Eye"... you name it, I read fuckloads of these books. And while they tend to land on a sort of human chauvinist "mankind will win based on his inherent adaptive human-ness, and the aliens will fail because of their rigid alien-ness", this shit was very foundational to me.

Their more collaborative series, The Man-Kzin Wars and War World, also loom large in my teenage mind. The Man-Kzin wars are super fun - humans meet a race of tiger-men, and go from being NWO peaceniks to roughneck cat-skinners in a generation! PEACE AND LOVE WONT DEFEAT TIGER MEN!

Similarly, war world (like lots of that 70s/80s military sci fi) was a sort of catch-all for western military nerds to play with their favorite factions - it was a planet where all the un-ruleable ethnic groups and nationalities had been deported by the authoritarian earth government, and left to rot... until a race of genetically engineered fascist super men land on the world, and start trying to rule the place. Pretty fun shit.

As I got older, I turned hard into William Gibson, and read the absolute shit out of both the Neuromancer trilogy and the Bridge trilogy, as well as his short stories. Bruce Sterling was part of that wave for me, too, and I religiously sought his old paperbacks out too. In terms of novels, "Distraction" is my favorite coherent Sterling Novel - though the short stories in the "Schismatrix" novel/collection of his remain my absolute favorite space opera pieces.

At this age, too, I found my top-top fave Sterling Stories - "Taklaman" and "Bicycle Repairman", both gritty pseudo-cyberpunk stories of the highest degree, in this collection:

This thousand-plus page collection of short stories and novellas was basically my bible for a few years - i put sticky notes on each story i loved and meant to return to, until the book was so festooned with sticky note bookmarks i abandoned the practice altogether. If you have the chance, just buy this book and chew on it for a few years.

As i got into my 20s, Charles Stross became my lode star - his books like Accelerando and Glasshouse were total game changers for me. They come with their own peculiarities, but I loved his transhuman/posthuman musings (or at least i was obsessed with his stuff for a good few years - the venn diagram of his obvious interests and my own overlapped enough that his books were great fodder for a growing sci-fi loving brain).

But since then, my main literary squeeze has been the great man, JACK VANCE. Working on Prophet, my friend @cmkosemen made a remark about how much the early issues of the series reminded him of a book series called "Planet of Adventure" or "the Tschai Cycle", by Jack Vance. The book has a beautifully simple setup - a man from an entirely undescribed spacefaring human civilization crash-lands onto a weird planet. But on that planet, he finds four separate civilizations, each who possess a population of enslaved humans, culturally and physically molded to the needs of their masters. And each book of this series covers our generic hero's interactions with each bizarre expoitative culture. I was extremely intrigued.

Soon thereafter, I found my current absolute favorite book - "THE DRAGON MASTERS". A book about an isolated medieval world... which gets visited, once every few generations, by a black pyramid starship, flown by a reptilian race known as the Greph. The greph capture humans to (surprise surprise) breed them into hyper specific slaves... who in turn become Greph-like in their thinking and demeanours. But the last time the BLACK PYRAMID landed, a bunch of angry medieval dudes stormed the thing, blew it up, and captured a bunch of greph... who became the breeding stock for a whole new human world of slave labour. By the time we meet this planet, the two rival lords of the human-populated regions have been breeding greph slave warriors, or "dragons", for generations, for combat against one another. But soon, the black pyramid will return...

I love this book I even spent a good few months during covid talking with the Vance Estate and several publishers about developing it into a graphic novel, but nobody could quite agree on how it could get made with old Simon getting a paycheque... so sadly it fell apart. There are concept drawings floating around my patreon and other corners of the internet. But one day I'll use 'em...

My other favorite books of his, to name a couple of the MANY books of his I love:

THE BLUE WORLD: A caste system of humans, descended from a crashed prison ship, live on floating settlements on an ocean planet, paying protection to a giant long-lived intelligent crustacean. But one man is tired of giving up all his crops to this tyrannical megafauna...

THE MIRACLE WORKERS: Rival lords on a planet descended to medieval tech (surprise surprise) fight using armies... and rival SORCERORS who employ the powers of suggestion to voodoo each others' warriors... but when facing non-human intelligences, these sorceror's skills fall short.

But there are heaps more, and I love most (thought not all) of the ones i've read. They're generally short, concise, and full of all sorts of bizarre bullshit.

THere are more books i've read and enjoyed in my life, of course, but these are the core ones that I think of when I think of my career as a sci-fi reader... let me know what your top recs are!

#sciencefiction #science fiction #book recommendations #jack vance #larry niven #jerry pournelle #simon roy #griz grobus #charles stross #dragon masters #william gibson #bruce sterling

[halsaph]

alright whats this artdrone killbot thing

hi. You will regret asking this

The Murderbot Diaries is a series of books about a human-bot construct that was designed to essentially exist as an enslaved security guard / piece of sentient spyware. It's like if Alexa had half a human brain and a gun. We're introduced to Murderbot (the murder alexa) roughly 3 years after it's hacked the piece of hardware in it's brain that forces it to obey commands. In those 3 years it hasn't changed much about it's life except now while working as a subhuman slave it watches tv when no one is paying attention. As a series TMBD largely is about themes of personhood and discovering yourself when you have largely spent your life being denied the right to a sense of self. They also don't shy away from addressing the trauma that Murderbot has experienced from having it's autonomy stripped of it for most of it's life, with the second novella and most recent novel most heavily featuring that as an element. (Although that is a core aspect of Murderbot's character that informs its decisions throughout the entire series).

Murderbot as a character is bitingly sarcastic and witty, deeply paranoid and ultimately filled with the constant low level anxiety it doesn't know what it's doing (not necessarily moment by moment but overall, with it's freedom, with it's life). It's an excellent unreliable narrator because it only tells you exactly what it thinks is important in a scenario, relationships between other characters, physical features of itself and the people around it, it's own emotions and reactions often being completely brushed over with only occasional clues, and often outright misinterpreting people's actions, most often it's own. It has this ever present self loathing in the first several books where it constantly explains it's actions away in the least charitable interpretation possible even though we see time and time again that at it's core it deeply wants to help and protect the people around it. And we see over the course of the books as it starts learning how to make choices for itself and interacting with people who treat it with respect and develops a support system as it starts to move away from that mindset (with the exception of the most recent book but to be fair to MB System Collapse is about it being forced to confront it's PTSD and it's backsliding alot from recently being thrown back into a situation from its worst nightmares). I said before its a human-bot construct to explain that it isn't purely an inorganic being but Murderbot is a deeply inhuman character and openly has no desire to be human, and it's perspective as something that is made to be a security system and enmesh into both digital and hardwired surveillance is fascinating to read. As you know I deeply deeply love robots, they're my favorite kind of 'inhuman but still a Person' kind of character and Murderbot perfectly strikes the balance between a starkly in human way of thinking and deeply relatable emotions that draws me to robots as a whole, especially as an autistic person (and Murderbot was intentionally written with autistic traits but in a subversion of the typical ableist depiction of autistic robots so that EXTRA rings true lmao)

seeing as you mentioned it I will also explain ART as a character, ART is one of the reoccurring characters in the series (the first 3 novellas all have completely different casts outside of Murderbot itself as it hops from place to place trying to decide what it wants and who it is before in the fourth novella and beyond bringing back in previous characters and having them start to overlap throughout the rest of the series). It was introduced in the second book and is arguably the character that has the greatest impact on Murderbot as a person although I say arguably bc I would personally still say that's Mensah. Unarguably tho it is one of the most important people in Murderbot's life and has been described multiple times now by the author as the love of its life (although not necessarily in a romantic sense as Murderbot is both within text and confirmed via word of god acearo). ART (Asshole Research Transport) also known as the Perihelion (although not until the 5th book/first novel bc Murderbot doesn't bother to tell tell the readers its name until then, instead deciding its a dick so its gonna exclusively call it by an insult) is a spaceship's pilot AI, made to be sentient instead of the usual smart GPS as an experiment by the university is was made by. It was raised like a child by a pair of scientists who are now part of its crew (along with its sibling Iris) and now is a teaching vessel for students learning about deep space and also anticorporate espionage worker (don't worry about it). It's a giant pushy asshole unless you're a child (the only character we've ever seen it meet on screen it didn't in some way immediately threaten was a 16 yo). It can't watch tv without having to pause at the suspenseful bits to calm down. We're introduced to it by it threatening to melt Murderbot's mind and then pouting when it's scared shitless. It then a month later asks to do surgery on it. It fully intends to blow up a planet to get Murderbot back from a group of colonists that captured it until someone talks it out of it because that isn't effective hostage negotiation.

#the murderbot diaries #there are five novellas and two novels btw I couldn't think how to include that naturally in the block of text

[dats-hq]

Kaito, Aoi, and the Importance of Digimon Survive's Intertexuality Across Routes

Digimon Survive is such a powerful narrative because its core theme is reinforced through its very structure as a visual novel. The game's radical belief in the ability for anyone to blossom into the best versions of themselves given the right circumstances is a powerful concept, but it could easily come off as naive. To avoid coming off as naive, there must be an acknowledgement of the darkest parts of our hearts.

It's like this:

In the Truthful Ending, Kaito has some issues with anger and overprotectiveness, but ultimately develops a slightly healthier relationship with his sister. A fine snapshot of a young boy's life over the course of a few weeks, but is it a snapshot of the young boy's soul? I think not. That snapshot comes in more parts. To see how his relationship with Miu would develop in more dire circumstances, you must see Moral Route. To see how he would cultivate a more strenuous relationship with Miu in light of a heightened sense of danger in the world, you must see Wrathful Route. To see who Kaito would become without Miu's grounding presence, you must see Harmony Route.

By seeing Kaito across four dimensions, you are able to form a picture of the actual Kaito. In composite, Kaito is obviously a good person. He is motivated by a desire to protect. He is brave. He cares for people. Even his friends who he betrayed in Harmony Route could see that deep down, Kaito had the potential to be a good person. This is seen when they all wish to extend an offer of forgiveness to Kaito, even after he resolved to destroy the world. By seeing Kaito at his absolute worst, we actually see a glimmer of his potential.

(I would like to clarify that I do not believe that Kaito "redeemed himself by dying," nor is it my reading of the text that Kaito was made to die as punishment for his misdeeds. I understand how one may come to those readings of the text, but I believe it was an unfortunate and unintended implication at worst.)

Aoi is an overachiever. She's a bright young girl, and that comes with certain expectations. If one were to look at her on a very surface level, you would think that she understands the importance of the responsibilities she's been given, and she doesn't mind the extra work. That is obviously bullshit, but to some extent, this is the image she puts out into the world. Aoi is not forthcoming about her emotions, so prior to meeting Labramon, she allows herself to stoically accept an unfair burden. Her fellow students take advantage of her, and her opinion is rarely respected among the other chosen children when discussing next steps. Without the ability to assert herself, she has all of the responsibility with none of the actual power. She must work hard, but she cannot do good.

This is a shame. Aoi is motivated by a strong sense of justice. The best version of herself is one who has the confidence to set boundaries and stand firm on issues she cares about, but much like Kaito, watching her grow into her best self is merely a snapshot of a few weeks in the life of a child. To truly plunder the depths of Aoi's soul, we must look into Wrathful Route.

In Wrathful Route, we see the most explosive expression of Aoi's convictions. She learns that a sense of justice is worth nothing if you don't have power, and power is worthless if it is not used. While nobody younger than Aoi dies in Moral Route, and Miu's safety in Harmony Route is Kaito's responsibility first and foremost, Saki's safety was squarely Aoi's responsibility.

Aoi's grief over her own failure to uphold her values causes an overcorrection. She is overcome with a desire to wield the maximum possible power and realize a twisted vision of maximum possible justice.

I love the gusto, Aoi, but human instrumentality is not a healthy response to traumatic invalidation.

It's important to stress that while I love Saki and think Saki/Aoi is an adorable ship, Saki's death is not the sole cause of Aoi's mental anguish. Saki's death was the catalyst for Aoi to close herself off from the community who could have helped her. The anguish began developing years prior.

In other routes, Aoi's relationship to her sense of justice, her responsibility, and her assertiveness develop in different ways, but by examining Aoi across four dimensions, we can understand Aoi's actual self. In composite, Aoi is a good person. She has strong convictions. She is protective. She is capable. There are a lot of ways these values can shape a young girl, and Aoi deserves a life where she has a supportive community to allow her to grow into the best version of herself. Don't we all?

At the core of both Kaito and Aoi, we find good people. I like to think you'd find the same at the core of everyone in real life, too. And yet, in real life, we obviously find people who do work to make the world a worse place. In Digimon Survive, we can see the paths not taken, for better and for worse. In doing so, we see the Truth of each character.

(This is not wholly unrelated to the appeal of "the Digimon as a reflection of the human partner's true self." In Dracmon, we see Kaito's protectiveness in a more trusting and easygoing package. In Labramon, we see Aoi's supportiveness in a more assertive package.)

#digimon survive #digimon survive meta #aoi shibuya #shibuya aoi #digimon survive week #but late #day 2 cooperation #very late okay? #hi maq

[auideas]

Ermmm sorry if this is weird but do u maybe have any like, ““original”” cyberpunk prompts? I want to write something cyberpunk for an au but I just don’t have any ideas right now no matter how long I brainstorm

Exploring Cyberpunk

Cyberpunk is a very unique genre, which is why so many people are both attracted to it and stumped when attempting to develop plots within an unknown world. Think of Black Mirror created by Charlie Brooker (TV show), Blade Runner written by Philip K. Dick (a movie based on the novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, a classic Cyberpunk novel), Altered Carbon by Richard K. Morgan (modern Cyberpunk novel), etc. -- each of these were incredibly influential in their own right, but they all also build their worlds gradually while having a single easy-to-explain concept that can spawn an entire universe. To be more specific, each story establishes an issue created by an advanced society ignorantly abusing technology, then allow their characters to explore that problem and try to find a solution in a manner that isn't explicitly black or white for society as a whole, but every shade of grey.

For Black Mirror, each episode anthologically builds upon a high-tech future within the same universe and explores how its characters interact with problems created by new pieces of said technology, both good and bad.

For Blade Runner, the story establishes that androids seem to be malfunctioning, but the bounty hunter charged with hunting them down discovers that the true issue lies in society's understanding of what it means to be human.

For Altered Carbon, the novel explores the issue derived from the obscene length of time it would take for humans to travel between planets stretched across the universe, then dives into more detail regarding how a solution has been abused.

How to Construct a Cyberpunk Concept

What we'd recommend is to start by asking the right questions and looking in the right places. Black Mirror takes its inspiration from a variety of technology, both new and old; Blade Runner explores the idea of AI and androids during the 80's when robotics was on the forefront of innovation; Altered Carbon took note of our increasing ability to travel in an interstellar fashion, then posed a simple question regarding the limits of humanity (specifically, time).

This may sound strange, but the best thing you can do is seek out trends online and scientific journals about new breakthroughs, then ask questions about what may go wrong. For example, an old post we featured here on AUideas that has since been removed from ~2017 because it's in the process of being developed into a script (sorry guys, our bad!) called Dreamscape Co. uses this exact method. When the prompt was made, Admin M was in the process of reading a scientific journal about how neurologists had been able to project a person's thoughts into an image. Although the technology was rudimentary at the time, Admin M posed the question "if dreams can be viewed, what if dreams can be watched in real time with a high quality image? What if they could be immersive? What would that industry look like? Who would pay how much to see a certain person's dreams?" This spun out into a sweeping cyberpunk mini-series, yet came from a simple news article.

Some Cyberpunk Inspiration

When performing a quick search, some amazing ideas seemed to jump out from technology news headlines these past couple weeks alone:

Ferroelectric Liquid Crystal (FLC) Technology Being Used in 3D Displays

Unlike holograms, this technology uses liquid crystals that exhibit spontaneous polarization, meaning their orientation can be influenced by an electric field. They're high-speed, low-power, and have innumerable applications in the future. So, what could go wrong?

How could this technology impact the medical field? Although this may not be possible, consider what could occur if FLCs were injected into human bodies and influenced by electric fields to perform different tasks and functions, such as replacing an organ, attacking cancer cells, etc. How could such a technology be abused or go wrong? How many could die with a simple pulse, like an EMP?

Real-Life Freeze Ray Technology Created for the US Airforce

This technology hasn't been developed to be used as weaponry, but instead to replace large amounts of coolant that must be used on space and air crafts to prevent the machinery from overheating (coolant is heavy and can reduce efficiency yet is absolutely necessary due to the fact that space is a vacuum and therefore does not cool heat like air would on Earth). This "freeze ray" technology utilizes plasma's strange property that seems to break the second law of thermodynamics: it chills down when touching another object before heating up, which experts have proposed is because it vaporizes the ultra-thin layer of carbon and water on an object upon contact, similar to how water evaporates off your skin when stepping out of a pool. The question must be asked: how could such technology be used for not just utilitarian means, but outside of the Airforce's intentions?

Perhaps the technology could be manipulated and over-chill an aircraft, or otherwise damage internal engineering.

Consider its potential applications here on Earth: what could benefit from being chilled with something light-weight and low-power? How could it be integrated into homes? What could be disastrously destroyed with such technology?

Breakthrough in Enhanced Geothermal Systems Technology May Completely Replace Carbon Energy Sources

Google and Fervo have successfully developed geothermal technology that has increased its efficiency and broke records by changing existing rock formations in the Earth's crust. For a natural geothermal energy system to produce electricity, it has to have the right amount of heat, fluid, and rock permeability -- these Goldilocks conditions can be difficult to find 'in the wild'. However, this new Enhanced Geothermal System (EGS) targets the most-easily found aspect (rocks with high heat) then creates the necessary permeability artificially by drilling to the intended rock formation and injecting fluid to create fractures in the rock, achieving the necessary Goldilocks conditions. Sure, this may be carbon-free energy, but what would happen if this were employed on a mass scale?

When energy is prioritized by a high-tech society over food and water, how could citizens gain access to those resources?

What long-term effects could such a system have on the Earth as a whole? Could the ground become unstable? Maybe earthquakes crumble city after city? Maybe the entire Earth's crust loses its integrity and disintegrates, pulling only a lucky few deep underground and forcing them to survive off the left over fluid injected into the Earth's crust and whatever they can find.

Closing Thoughts

As you can see from above, there's a crazy amount of inspiration that can be drawn from current technology events. What's important to remember is that yes, we've been talking about complicated technology, but only you have to understand how it functions in your universe down to the molecule, not your audience. Deep technology topics can be dry to a certain extent, and over-explaining your world can be damaging to your story. Explanations regarding how technology works in each of the stories we discussed is limited for that same reason (Black Mirror's overarching concepts, specifics about how Blade Runner's Replicant technology are rarely discussed, etc.). Leave some mystery surrounding how your cyberpunk world functions and allow how your characters room to breathe and interact with that world -- it can speak for itself. Your audience may first love the idea behind your story, but what they'll remember and relate to is how your protagonists and antagonists suffer and prevail within your universe.

We hope this answered your question, and feel free to follow up if you'd like some more guidance and advice on how to construct your Cyberpunk story! In addition, feel free to check out our other post which outlines more information on how to build a Cyberpunk world.

Now get to writing, and have an awesome week!

-- Admin M x

#admin m #long post #cyberpunk au #cyberpunk #cyberpunk world #worldbuilding #worldbuilding tips #writing tips #writeblr #writing prompt #writing inspiration #writing inspo #writing idea #writing concept #fic inspo #story inspo #story idea #prompt #idea #technology au #cyberpunk worldbuilding

[titanrpg]

NO GOOD DEED: Bleed 10,000 Hit Points devlog v0.1

since a lot of people were excited about the intro snippet i posted for NGD, i thought maybe i'd record some game design thoughts as i continue working on it

going gmless

as i play and design more ttrpgs over the years, i've become less interested in games that require a lot of prep for the gm. or a gm at all. when i design a ttrpg, my default is gmless unless the game requires a gm to function properly.

going diceless

i'm also going diceless because the main mechanic is everyone's shared pool of 10,000 hp that takes 1 damage every second of real play time. i want that to shine, so i've made a ton of choices toward that goal. the mechanics heavily revolve around using and replenishing hit points. dice would just distract from that. plus, every game i've ever written is influenced by wanderhome so honestly it's been a long time coming, my writing a diceless, gmless ttrpg hah.

central gameplay mechanic (lack thereof)

NGD was born out of my own values and growth and discovery of Black anarchist theory. writing this game is a way for ME to see how these ideas play out in a 'micro-community' (shout out to jay dragon for the term) of a few friends at a table. obviously, a gm is thematically irrelevant to this idea. and as i explored a central game mechanic, i realized there couldn't be one. not for this idea.

instead, each playbook contains its own "mini game." (shout out to SLAYERS by gila rpgs for its cool asymmetric class system where i saw this first.) the setting itself will have mechanics to interact with, but each playbook has its own resolution mechanics and toys (one uses a rubik's cube to predict the future, another uses a toy top to pause the timer from ticking down, another uses a deck of playing cards, you get the idea). will this work? i'll find out in playtests haha.

an emerging theory of written narrative art forms

i'm finding that writing a ttrpg can be similar to writing a novel if you have an argument you're trying to make. mechanics communicate values and philosophy, and you can explore so many variations on a theme.

the big difference between a ttrpg and a novel (in my view, in this context) is that when you write a ttrpg, you're outsourcing the character creation/development process to the readers. it's unsurprising to me that i enjoy this, since my main "Thing" in ttrpgs is SRDs (systems that help people make their own games). caltrop core, emerge8, etc. i find the architecture/value exchange that underlies games really fulfilling to work with.

based on my experience with ttrpgs lately and novels in my undergrad degree, here is a theoretical relationship between them all, where reader involvement starts high and declines from left to right and author involvement starts low and increases from left to right:

srds -> ttrpgs -> novels

which is all just to say, writing NGD has felt like all the good parts of writing a novel and none of the parts that take me forever

final thoughts

hey, if you're still reading this, thank you. i'm enjoying this project more than p much any other ttrpg proj this whole year. i've also been in varying intensities of depressive episodes all year. it's more like i have episodes of good mental health sprinkled in with a depressive baseline. i recently increased my meds dosage so hopefully that helps.

i'll be back with another update soon. playbooks are up next.

follow me to stay updated!

-Lex

Titanomachy RPG

#indie ttrpg #ttrpg #ngd rpg #ngd:b10khp #no good deed: bleed 10000 hit points

[tornrose24]

After finishing rewatching all of The Ghost and Molly Mcgee, these are my thoughts.

I think this is the one time in who knows how many years I’ve been invested in something that came from Disney. I haven’t seen this kind of passion project in a long time and sadly I don’t know if I’ll ever see that magic again for awhile, considering how Disney itself has suffered with many poor choices.

As for the show, a lot hits different when you know how it ends. Certain moments become a lot more meaningful with that knowledge.

I’d say first season was the better of the two. There was far more at stake and the story was building up to its climax in numerous ways compared to season two. The threat of The Chairman and the discovering of the duo’s friendship is very much felt in more episodes compared to Jinx.

Scratch’s character development is really noticeable in season 1, but in a way Molly’s is as well, given how one learns to open up and learn kindness and optimism while the other also needs to learn to open up in other ways, as well as grow into the wise, yet still optimistic teenager she becomes at the end of the show.

Season two… the stakes aren’t as great here. As stated by others, the Chens are overall not given much as a threat for season 2, and Jinx is used too sparingly so the penultimate season does feel a bit rushed. I honestly would have taken out some episodes from this season and replaced them with ones that could have addressed this, especially had the creators known they’d only get two seasons. Though of course they did not when starting out and it’s surreal to think that–had things gone right–we’d be waiting for season 3 right now.

However, I’m still sticking to my initial thoughts regarding ‘The End.’ I still don’t think it was necessary for Scratch to forget Molly.

The first problem is that this plot point is already one a lot of us are familiar with (I’ve seen it quite a lot in my case). Doctor Who used it (before it got changed), Spiderman No Way Home used it to a painful extreme, and Gravity Falls temporarily used it in its own finale. There’s a novel called ‘Just like Heaven’ that is a more romantic version of TGAMM, and it ended with memory loss as well (though the movie has a happier ending). I feel sad, but I also feel angry, which leads to my second problem.

Molly and Scratch’s friendship is the heart of this show. We were entertained and moved by it, as well as how far they would go for each other. So when Scratch forgets, we feel Molly’s pain as observers to her and Scratch’s story. We want Scratch to live his life as a human, and we wanted him to go out and see the world, but he should NOT have had to forget Molly in exchange. I know we always have to say goodbye and that there are some people who were special to us that we might/will never see again, but dear lord, being forgotten is a certain type of pain that hurts even worse. 

Rewatching/remembering certain scenes is now more painful, knowing now that Scratch will forget them. Him saying that he’d hate to forget Molly was too cruel. When I was getting cloer to revisiting ‘The End’ I was feeling reluctance to continue on, and not just because I was almost done with the re-watching. When Scratch merged back with his body and the screen turned to white, I had to fight the urge to shut the episode down and pretend things went differently. That’s how much it hurts when it’s not just a casual viewing. I know these characters ultimately belong to someone else, but I wouldn’t want to put them through that kind of suffering.

Had I been in charge of the show, but kept the idea of ‘taking risks is what makes if worth living,’ I would have used one of two different endings. One where its the same, but Scratch remembers Molly. The other would have been a time skip, when Scratch returned to Brighton with Adia and he reunited with Molly who is a little older but is still the girl he knew.

But… I do appreciate the small ray of hope that was given. That Scratch’s behavior as a human and certain use of words–as well as calling Molly by name despite supposedly never hearing it before-fuels a lot of hope that one day Scratch will remember and he will reunite with Molly one day. That even a few writers proposed a reunion story where Molly hugging Scratch would trigger his memories to come back gives me hope that there's still a possibility in that story. (If anyone tells me I'm stupid to be thinking those things, please don't because I care about those characters THAT much.)

Until then, we have aus, what ifs, and fan fics to fix that.

So… I don’t know when I’ll rewatch the whole show again, given the emotional toll. I’ll still revisit some episodes and scenes. But I’m grateful that Disney allowed this show to exist–it deserved more love and attention. If this had to be the very last good thing to ever come out of Disney, I’ll take it.

#the ghost and molly mcgee #molly mcgee #scratch the ghost

[noraigo]

can we please talk about jiang yuelou and chen yuzhi?

if you told me a couple of months ago that i wouldn't get over a series about a hot-tempered policeman and a gentle doctor, i wouldn't have believed you. however, here i am and i cannot fathom the fact that this series is so underrated. the chemistry, the whole plot, the characters: chen yuzhi, jiang yuelou, chu ran, yu tangchun, among many others, are so well-built and i think that just for this, it deserves more recognition.

BUT, i’m solely here to talk about these two. can we appreciate how beautiful their relationship is? i am aware that they fall under the bromance trope, but you cannot convince me they are merely close friends, not when the whole series is based on a bl novel. although they start off a bit hostile (i know, i know), the evident infatuation jiang yuelou develops towards chen yuzhi and vice versa is so romantic. he finds everything the doctor does endearing, from his quiet surprises to the way he’s always trying to help him psychologically. yuelou suffers emotionally due to his bipolar disorder, with violent outbursts and unstability that makes him throughout the series, you get to know that yuelou is not the kind of person to seek help, that he would rather confront everything by himself than ask guidance. yet, somehow — he always comes to yuzhi when he’s uneasy or confused. it’s not a secret in the police bureau either, song rong and sun yongren (the most loyal characters i’ve seen in a series, i have to say) are pretty much aware of his liking towards yuzhi’s company. even jin dacheng himself insinuated that both of them didn’t have an innocent relationship at all.

the hugs, the touches, THE LOOKS! oh my goodness, their stares were the death of me. i am the kind of person who never skips initial and final credits, so i was very eager to know the hospital scene that happens at the very end of the credits, because i was sure it would become my favourite. i was right and i won’t forget the feeling i was experiencing: the look of relief on yuelou to see yuzhi alive before his eyes, but being on the verge of tears because he knew yuzhi almost didn’t make it? it's a mixture between guilt, relief and love, all in one. absolutely delightful. it’s a repetitive pattern though: yuzhi gets in trouble, yuelou goes crazy and once he’s safe in his arms again, it’s like a part of yuelou’s soul is being reassured that the most important person in his life is alive, safe and sound. because, oh my… in the novel, yuelou considers the doctor his zhī jǐ: a person who understands him deeply no matter what, similar to a soulmate. thanks to an user on tumblr and their translations, i could get to know that, in the audiodrama, yuelou’s feels go beyond platonic. “you’re more significant than friends. people touch you, it’s the same thing as them going after my life.” THIS IS SO RAW AND EMOTIONAL, I’M GOING TO FAINT. the fact that even when yuelou and yuzhi were in danger, as zhan junbai was watching them over, yuelou straight up says: (on my own words, as my memory has been failing me lately)

“is there something between us that can’t be said? we're of the same mind.” i’m so... give me a minute, please *inaudible screams and screeches*

one thing i noticed a lot while watching the series is the fact yuzhi is a very gentle, soft-spoken and intelligent character, which already makes him likable (oh, i LOVE kind-hearted characters) but when you see him through yuelou’s pov — slow motioned movements, timid dimpled smiles, a person whose demeanour is described as pure even — he becomes even more lovable and that’s how yuelou sees yuzhi. how crazy in love yuelou must be to stare at yuzhi while doing mundane things, such as having dinner together? absolutely not focusing on the plate underneath him. instead, grinning with doe eyes as he watches yuzhi looking at the snowy night. ROMANTICISM ON ITS PEAK.

however, for me, the most special thing is to see yuzhi reassuring yuelou by holding his hand so dearly, by hugging him out of relief to see him alive too, by cradling his hand on yuelou’s cheek to brush his tears away. THE ENDING, I CAN’T CONTINUE MY LIFE AND PRETEND NOTHING HAPPENED.

yuzhi is slowly passing away on the other’s arms. yuzhi always wants to be near him and it gets highlighted in his final words, he was too wishing to eat tang yuan with now commissioner jiang yuelou. even on death, he’s under the snow with him. even on death, yuelou’s fondest memories are with chen yuzhi, for he keeps their photo together close to his heart despite grieving his absence and having to take care of yuzhi’s little sister. yuelou simply sits on his home all alone, with the emptiest eyes which once had the entire galaxy shared with yuzhi. not moving, not doing anything. i felt like i was mourning with yuelou, i will never forget how he quietly lays down beside yuzhi’s body while crying his heart out when he realized the inevitable.

WHY? WHY IS THE ANGST SO BRILLIANT WITH THEM? THE LONGING, THE YEARNING, THE LOVE. i’m afraid i won’t enjoy anything that doesn’t remind me of them. there was a before and an after in me, it literally reseted my entire smooth brain.

everyone, go watch killer and healer. 37 episodes are definitely worth the time!

just look at them, i will respectfully combust.

#jiang yuelou #chen yuzhi #killer and healer #yuezhi #im late to the party #i know #but i adore them #long post #bromance #not really #you get the idea #opinion #kind of? #whatever its fine

[potteresque-ire]

A very young Stanley Kwan 關錦鵬 (right) directing Leslie Cheung 張國榮 (left) and Anita Mui 梅艷芳 (middle) for Rouge 胭脂扣 (1987). Kwan would win the Best Director title for the film at the Hong Kong Film Awards.

Stanley Kwan 關錦鵬 is not only a famous director from Hong Kong, but also the first well-known openly gay figure in Hong Kong entertainment. He came out of the closet in 1996 (before Leslie Cheung, who did so in 1997), in the documentary he directed for the British Film Institute named Yang ± Yin: Gender in Chinese Cinema 男生女相：華語電影之性別. His works had garnered accolades for their in-depth portrayal of female characters, at the time when women in local movies often did little more than being pretty and screaming a lot.

(Under the cut: Director Kwan's own words on one of his most famous works and a gay film classic in Chinese-language cinema, Lan Yu (2001), in 2022 after BL culture has entered mainstream)

Most BL fans know Director Kwan via his gay-themed film Lan Yu 藍宇 (2001), about the eponymous Bejing university student falling in love with a wealthy, closeted businessman, Chen Handong. The film, based on a popular online novel Beijing Story 北京故事, has remained censored in mainland China for its queer content and its mentions of the 1989 Tiananmen Massacre. Its fate of being perennially censored was never a surprise—the film was shot in Beijing in secret, with the crew pretending to be shooting commercials around the capital. Digital filming also didn't exist then, and so the 100,000 ft + of film had to be smuggled out of China later to be developed.

Lan Yu was a project about love. Of love.

The poster of Lan Yu in Cannes Film Festival (left), Hong Kong (center), Taiwan (right), at the time of its original release.

In 2022, Lan Yu celebrated its 20th anniversary with a 4K remastered version. Among the interviews of Director Kwan made for the celebration was one by The Initium 端傳媒, during which Kwan shared some of his views on Lan Yu, in the context of how public reception of queer media has changed over the years after the film's release.

These views may deviate from what some fans, especially those in BL circles, would expect. Precisely because of that, however, I'm posting them here. After all, maybe, hopefully, Kwan will collaborate with Dd (and Gg) one day. Maybe, fans like ourselves will interact with Kwan on social media spaces one day.

I hope Kwan's views will be kept in mind, considered and respected. Due to the length of the full interview **, I'm only translating the two parts that are relevant (lazy turtle here 😊):

1.

《藍宇》 雖為華語電影同志片的經典，但過去廿年，關錦鵬卻在不少訪談中提過，電影改編自當年於大陸風行一時的網絡同志小說《北京故事》，而最初他其實並不喜歡那篇小說。

「原著基本上是用偷窺角度去看一段同志關係，特別是集中描寫男體的情色關係，有很多露骨的性愛場面。作者本身是知道這些描寫會令小說受歡迎。」關錦鵬接著說：「但在拍這部電影前，我在 1996 年已經出櫃。而我覺得作為一名同志導演，就更不應該去消費這個題材，所以當我看到原著小說將情色描寫，譬如肛交、口交的過程放大，當時我便跟製片人說，如果要原封不動將小說內容拍出來，我就不做了。」

Although Lan Yu is a classic Chinese-language gay film, in many interviews in the past 20 years, Kwan has mentioned that the film was adapted from the online gay novel Beijing Story, popular in mainland China at the time, and that he actually didn't like the novel at first. "The original novel basically looks at a gay relationship from a voyeuristic point of view, especially the erotic relationship between male bodies, and there are many explicit sex scenes. The author (of the novel) himself knows that these descriptions will make the novel popular."

Kwan continued, "But before making this movie, I had been out of the closet since 1996. And I thought, as a gay director, I shouldn't exploit this subject, so when I saw the original novel expanding, zooming in on the eroticism -- the processes of anal sex and oral sex, for example -- I told the producer at the time that if the novel's content is to be filmed without changes, I won't do it.”

2. 在《藍宇》面世的年代，電影確實意識大膽。但二十年後，當電影得以重新修復，社會氛圍其實亦有了翻天覆地的轉變。近年不但多了同志題材的作品，甚至大行其道，人人消費，成為一種時令的商業元素。譬如人氣男團會拍 BL 電視劇，而過去幾年的華語電影節，最快售罄的場次，都一定是同志電影。 此情此景，在《藍宇》剛上映的年代簡直不可思議，電影當年在香港的票房談不上亮眼，普羅大眾對同性戀故事有所抗拒，而本身就是同志的觀眾，想看卻不敢購票入場，怕被旁人標籤。二十年後世界變了樣，甚至總會看到「腐女」在 BL 電影的宣傳海報前打卡拍照。關錦鵬笑說：「是呀，前陣子的確有朋友跟我說，她其實是一名腐女。腐女族群喜歡看男同志電影，但到底喜歡看什麼呢？她某程度上都承認，想看的就是身體，是兩個好看的男人身體如何做愛。」 然而，這恰恰就是他當初對執導《藍宇》有所卻步的顧慮。當同志題材今日已走入主流，變成一種受歡迎的商業元素，關錦鵬則仍然有所警惕，跟潮流保持距離：「可能有些腐女都會喜歡《藍宇》，但我想未必完全是她們那杯茶。它真正要說的是兩個男人從色情買賣演變成一段感情關係，尤其是魏紹恩替我改編劇本之後，陳捍東這個角色，在我看來不一定是男同志，而是他在藍宇身上找到一些連自己都不知道的感覺。」 但關錦鵬也承認，從好的方向去看，在 BL 作品蔚然成風的助力之下，至少令同志以及 LGBT 性少數族群，相對容易被今日的大眾主流接受：「這是令人開心的。近幾年，特別是年輕人，確實會用比較開放的態度去對待 LGBT 族群。」稍頓，關錦鵬解釋道：「換個說法，關於 LGBT 議題的重點，現在就不再放在色情之上，而更多是感情關係，甚至是性少數族群認清自己身份之後，於生活上如何面對社會。那起碼是朝著一個正確的方向。」 In the era when Lan Yu was released, the film was indeed bold in its ideology. Twenty years later, however, at the time when the film gets its restoration, the social atmosphere has actually undergone earth-shaking changes. In recent years, not only have there been more gay-themed works, they have even become very popular and consumed by all, becoming a kind of fashionable commercial element. For example, popular boyband members are willing to make BL TV dramas, and in the past few years of Chinese-speaking film festivals, the fastest sold-out shows have all been gay movies.

[Pie note: The reporter was unlikely to be referring to Gg and Dd with their mention of "popular boyband members". Instead, they were probably thinking of Edan Lo and Anson Lo from Hong Kong's local boyband MIRROR, who starred in the BL drama Ossan's Love.]  

This phenomenon is unbelievable in the era when Lan Yu was first released. The box office of the film in Hong Kong couldn't be said to be impressive. The general public resisted gay stories [Pie note: Hong Kong hadn't decriminalised homosexual relationships until 1991, 10 years before], and the audience who were gay wanted to watch it but didn't dare to purchase tickets, for fear of being labeled by others. Twenty years later, the world has changed -- BL fans can be seen photographing themselves in front of the promotional posters of BL movies.

Kwan smiled and said, "Yes, a friend told me a while ago that she's actually a "rotten woman" (Pie note: = woman BL fan, translated from the Japanese term fujoshi). The "rotten women" group likes to watch gay movies, but what do they like to watch? She admitted, to a certain extent, that it's the body. It's the body, how two good-looking men's bodies make love."

And yet, this was precisely the concern that made Kwan hesitant to direct Lan Yu at the beginning. As gay themes enter the mainstream and become a popular commercial element, Kwan has remained vigilant, and has kept his distance from the trend: "Maybe some "rotten women" enjoy Lan Yu, but I don't think (the film) is entirely their cup of tea. What the film really wanted to express was how two men evolved from a transactional sex relationship to an emotional relationship, especially after Wei Shaoen adapted the script for me. The character of Chen Handong, in my opinion, didn't necessarily have to be a gay man; instead, he found on Lan Yu a feeling that even he himself couldn't understand.”

But Kwan also admitted that, from a better perspective, with the aid of popular BL works, it has become relatively easy for gays and LGBT sexual minorities to find acceptance in today's mainstream: "This is a happy thing to see. In recent years, especially young people have indeed treated the LGBT community with a more open attitude.” After a short pause, Kwan explained: “In other words, the focus of LGBT issues is now no longer on salacity, but more on emotional relationships, and even, on how sexual minorities face society in their daily lives after recognising their (sexual) identities. At least it's moving in the right direction.”

** None of you see this footnote, but a copy of the interview without a paywall can be found here. 😊

#pie metas

[buckybarnesss]

on fire: a teen wolf novel chapters 10-13 chapters 7-9 here chapters 4-6 here chapters 1-3 here

after a little break i am back with a new installment i'm doing 4 chapters today because this book only has 19 chapters.

once again: kate argent is her own warning.. there's an entire flashback chapter of her and derek when he was a teenager. she explicitly grooms him.

Our intrepid heroes are still in the goddamn woods. We shall never leave. Allison is cold and so Scott snuggles with her to share body heat. Classic trope but I have read many missing persons cases. Hypothermia can happen even when you don’t think it can. 

And we have yet another example of Derek being characterized as kind of a dick. He and Stiles find a campfire as Derek tries to track the scent of the Alpha and/or locate Scott. Stiles is just having a bad time as he’s winded from trying to keep up with Derek. Derek leaves him there. I reject this. No. Derek never left Stiles anywhere like this. Especially not with danger afoot. It very much stands in contrast to Wolf’s Bane when Derek crawls over broken glass and fights Peter, distracting him from Stiles.

The Queen has finally arrived. We finally get some Lydia narration. She also comes with Danny and some random dude Damon. 

It had been kind of annoying Danny hasn’t been involved that much considering he is Jackson’s best friend.

Have I mentioned that I don’t particularly care for how Danny is handled in this book? First you have Stiles assuming they should send Danny to the pay-by-the-hour motel because he’s gay and now Lydia’s narration is stereotyping the poor guy. “Dark-haired, with that cool Hawaiian vibe he had.” Danny was right to leave y'all.

Danny says he doesn’t have Lydia’s phone number which I sincerely doubt. 

I want to throw hands with this line “He gave her a completely non-sexual once over.” It’s giving gay-best friend trope vibes which to be fair was at its height in the 2010s and let’s face it this is how Lydia was often written pre-character development (and even after). Especially in the Sterek fandom. Don’t y’all try to tell me otherwise. I was there, Gandalf. 

There is this little section of Lydia’s I think deserves some commentary. The way this book has a subplot for Allison and Scott revolving around how they want to sleep together and the way Jackson and Lydia think of their relationship, especially their sexual relationship is interesting. Now, I’m no pearl clutching Puritan on this subject but the way that sex is handled in this narrative strikes me as too adult for their age. But this passage makes me change my perspective a little. These are kids acting too adult because they feel pressured in other areas of their lives to be adults without the experience and emotional capacity to do so. That fits in with Teen Wolf’s narrative. 

“Are you going through his stuff?” Danny queried, and she have him her best patronizing look, “Please,” She said, “You must know that I have a drawer here.” Damon looked even more impressed. Very few teenagers could claim the very adult perk of having a drawer containing their belongings at their boy -- or girlfriend’s house. Not that many teenagers had the need. It spoke of changing clothes, spending the night. Adult stuff.  Sex.”

Jackson’s computer wallpaper is Lydia which is sweet but then she says she picked it out herself which is less sweet. 

Jackson’s computer password is fucking Captain. You deserve to be hacked, Jackson.

Now Lydia brought Danny and his hanger on Damon from her house to Jackson’s because they’re looking for a CD Jackson apparently burned for Damon to use to DJ for a party. The 2010s of it all came out and kneed me in the solar plexus. Even Lydia was wondering why Jackson didn’t just make a shared playlist. But she searches through Jackson’s stuff stalling a little so she can snoop. This is all important because we finally get to the actual plot of why Jackson was lured away and missing in the first place. People want to rob the Whittermore’s while they’re out of town. Jackson at this point is still being held at gunpoint over in the preserve. 

The would be robbers -- henceforth referred to as Thing One and Thing Two -- assault Lydia and threaten her demanding to know if there are other people in the house. Lydia truly gets a raw deal no matter what.

Meanwhile, Derek’s left Stiles and is trying to follow the scene of the Alpha. He uses the word “shedding” to refer to how he left Stiles. I cannot impress enough how he would not fucking say that.

Derek’s out of luck though because the scent he comes across is old. He is at the place he found Laura’s body where he has a Moment of Anger before he moves on he picks up on Jackson’s scent. He recalls how he dug his claws into Jackson back in Magic Bullet and feels a tiny bit bad. He finds a half burned article about Jackson and does what I deem a Derek thing to do and that’s pocket it because he’s “keeping tabs on Jackson”. It’s stalking, Derek.

Narration switches back to Stiles and of course he gets weird quickly and Stiles what the fuck? Stiles doing something like this during the later seasons wouldn’t be out of the norm. He’s paranoid, hyper vigilant and suspicious at that point but here? Season 1? Stalker.

“He had tried calling Scott a couple more times, then Allison, then Lydia. He’d had her phone in his possession when he deleted the picture she’d accidentally taken of the Alpha. Of course he’d also inputted her number into his own phone; how stalkerish was that?”

Derek reappears and scares Stiles. Stiles observes “He was kind of sweaty, and he looked glummer than usual.” Stiles refuses to be normal about Derek. 

They have a little tiff except it’s them being worried about the same thing but in opposite directions. 

“Stiles crossed his arms and hunched over, shivering and trying to make himself inconspicuous, in cast the Alpha spotted Derek and decided to attack him. But Derek was a Beta werewolf too, like Scott. Why wasn’t he part of the Alpha’s pack? Maybe he is. Maybe he just hasn’t told us, he thought. “Or maybe it’s some kind of trap,” Derek said, “Something the Argents cooked up.” “You mean that Allison’s in on it?” Stiles asked, sounding incredulous.  Derek slid a glance at him. “Why do you sound so surprised? You know what the Argents are. What they do.``

And so we have arrived. The part of this book I remember the most. The Derek Hale Flashbacks. We go six years into the past. 

This is definitely where the idea of Kate Argent working at Beacon Hills High comes from and it makes a lot of sense. It even works even better given the context of season 2 where the Argents actually infiltrate the school as a tactic. 

Holder puts Derek on the swim team which is funny in retrospect because of how the swim team is important to the story of season 2 but Derek is established in season 3 as having been on the basketball team like Peter.

Holder also does a little world building on werewolf customs and pack dynamics here which the show lacks in detail. The way Holder does it is far more patriarchal than what the Hales actually are in the show. There’s a focus on Derek’s father (unnamed even here), the contest/rivalry between him and his cousin Josh, entrance into manhood and Uncle Peter. 

I am still deeply amused by Holder making the Beast of Gevaudan an ancestor of the Hales when the show took the route of making it far more deeply connected to the Argents.

The deepest of sighs at this : “Unlike Laura, who was popular, he didn’t have any human friends, and he didn’t want any.” I just have the hardest time with isolationist, anti-human Derek. Season 3 Derek called and told Book Derek to fuck himself. Derek had a posse of generic human friends.

Kate preys on Derek while she fills in for the main coach as he’s on paternity leave. Also Kate’s up here just brassily using her actual name.

Like Derek’s about 16 here so I can easily buy him noticing a pretty young woman in close proximity to him but Holder does a good job in making it clear that while Derek’s attracted to Kate superficially her interest in him makes him uncomfortable. Derek’s narration says things like “Flustered, even a little frightened.” and “He practically ran out of the school, looking over his shoulder.”

Holder then parallels Scott and Allison once more which is a, um, choice by describing Kate’s hair in the moonlight and Derek almost wolfing out. 

Apparently Laura and Derek shared a Subaru Forester. Which Hale lesbian bought this?

Now up until this point I’ve mostly avoided talking about Laura and her presence in this book because I was saving it for this scene. Laura Hale is a ghost in the narrative in the show. She’s seen maybe three different times outside of being a corpse. She’s never actually named in any of those short appearances and no one talks about her. Here she’s mentioned several times by Scott, Stiles and Derek. Plus now she’s shown in Derek’s flashbacks. I don’t like her all that much here and I think this might be where some of Laura’s fanon characterization comes from. 

Anyway, Derek and Laura are at a diner together eating hamburgers. Derek drinks Diet Coke. Look, I don’t see him as a Diet Coke drinker but that’s not the point here. Derek mentions Kate and how he thinks she’s so beautiful. Laura has this moment where she seems concerned:

“Is this...woman a student?” Laura asked. “No. She’s the new lifeguard. Ms. Argent.” Mr. Braswell’s replacement.” “School lifeguard?” she said, looking mildly shocked. “A teacher?”

After this though Laura’s characterization takes a nosedive. She refers to Kate as a slut when at this point in time Kate hasn’t really done anything necessarily wrong. Derek only really tells Laura of thinking she’s pretty. Laura’s never even met her.

She goes on to tease Derek about his crush -- the word mateable is used 🤮 -- and Derek shuts down. “Suddenly, he didn’t feel like talking to her about it anymore.”

I hate it here.

The next scene is another flashback I recall vividly. Melissa and baby Scott being abused by Mr. McCall. This fuckface trying to convince Scott that his asthma attack isn’t real and it’s all in his head. I want this man to die. Interesting that later when Rafael McCall is introduced he’s still The Worst.

Catch these hands. “Scott didn’t want him to yell at his mom because Scott had asthma. It wasn’t her fault. It was his, Scott’s.” 

If Melissa McCall had killed him no would have charged her. 

Back in the present we return to Scott and Allison. They’re still cuddling but realize they’re supposed to be looking for Allison’s keys. Her phone rings and they have a mishap which sends Allison down the incline. She takes him with her.

They recover but Allison has now lost her keys and phone. Bad day all around for Ally A.

Scott finds Allison’s phone using his wolf powers but he can’t let her know that so they use his phone to call hers. 

Her ringtone for him is apparently a band called Kids of 88. I had never heard of them so after a quick search their biggest hit was in 2009 My House. Which again -- sex.

Scott went to get her phone but he’s prevented by an invisible barrier. Wolfsbane. He makes up a lie about his leg being hurt because like how else do you explain not being able to touch a bush?

They sit down and Scott’s having thoughts like “Oh I wish Derek were here” so you know it’s not great. Allison talks a little about how she’s close to her parents.

They are fucking kissing again. Stop it. It’s not the time. 

Scott decides to text Stiles and says Stiles knows his username and password. We all know. It’s the ever iconic Allison. Jackson and Scott truly deserve each other.

I forgot Jackson was still being held at gunpoint while all this has been going on.

Jackson makes an attempt to escape but yet another guy is waiting at the Porsche. How many people are there? Two here, Cassie probably and then the two at the house. So 5 people in total it appears. Geez. 

His escape fails and he’s taken hostage. Jackson never has a good time. 

All of Chapter 13 is Kate and Derek. Shall we brace ourselves?

“One by one the other swimmers left, and he’d remained behind, torn between disappointment that she hadn’t done it again, and complete and utter relief that she was staying away from him.” Holder writes young Derek having the instinct to know Kate’s attention isn’t good.

Now Holder does do some interesting bits of worldbuilding but like I said earlier it seems so patriarchal. Surrounding challenges and fighting. His view of humans in the book is one of paternalism. 

Kate is going in for the kill now and I’m crawling up my own spine. She makes herself come across as demure. She’s playing meek and turning the whole thing back on Derek giving him the illusion of choice as she grooms him. She purposefully is coming across as more of a peer than an adult figure with authority. 

“She swirled her fingers in the water. “And this isn’t really my style, you know?” I don’t come onto men like this.” Men. She thought of him as a man. He licked his lips, completely tongue-tied. “I wish you’d say something,” she murmured. “I’m kind of dying about it now. I’m sorry if I misread your intentions. I won’t bother you again.” “I know we’d have to be careful. Outsiders might not understand.”

Excuse me. Earlier Derek mentioned his rival -- his cousin Josh -- apparently Peter’s sister-in-law’s kid. Here he mentions Laura had made out with Josh the previous Wolf Moon. Did Laura make out with their cousin?!?!?!?!?!? There’s no other Josh in this book. Like I get they’re not blood related if Josh is Peter’s sister-in-law’s kid (which lol okay bro) but what is happening here on this day?

Kate wants Derek to come home with her for privacy -- ew. So Derek calls Laura to negotiate. Hence the whole conversation about Laura making out with cousin Josh. Laura says “This is so you can do something slutty.” I deeply dislike this characterization of Laura.

And now we’re in Kate’s narration for the flashbacks. I need a shower after reading her thoughts. God, I hate Kate.

Holder goes into detail about her ideas on werewolves. It’s interesting. There’s competition for rank within the pack, challenges and rituals. I want to do a post specifically about it maybe, but I am offended on Talia Hale’s behalf here. It’s very focused on males. The automatic assumption that the Alpha is Derek’s father.

 I cannot say fuck Kate enough. “Some kids in high school are babies and others are all grown up, ready for the real world. Like you.” The classic manipulation tactic of oh but you’re so mature for your age or oh they’re such an old soul. 

Wishing Kate Argent a go ahead and die.

#my blog #thoughts on teen wolf #teen wolf #sterek #on fire: a teen wolf novel #kate argent is her own warning

[beesmygod]

So in like novel writing circles (the ones I jerk in at least) the advice is to just cut the "boring" stuff as much as possible if you can't make it ya know not the boring bit- even if you just fill it with fun character interactions or something- BUT obviously webcomics are a different medium and one known for its ability to go on very long times and (at its best at least) use that sorta allowance to explore a lot of a world etc etc, so after seeing your posts about people maybe not liking the AGS "boring bits" (note: I've never particularly felt AGS had them if only on the basis of like filling it with fun character stuff etc) what you think about that in terms of structure and pacing and such in webcomics

its a relief to hear that people arent bored stiff by a comic that started out as a "monster of the week" type and has drastically changed into slice of life with criminal conspiracy or whatever it is now. it has a point, i swear. it took me some time to see it forming in the ingredients i laid out but i see it clearly now

the slow drip-line nature of webcomics is what makes the medium truly uniquely exhilarating and also uniquely frustrating lol. most webcomics update a single page at a time, right? and you have to keep in mind while making your longform story-driven webcomic that you're juggling entertaining two different readers: the archival reader and the per-update reader. these readers are, by the nature of the medium, going to have wildly different experiences with the text. what is quick and breezy for the archival reader can be prolonged torture for the per-update one. the per-update reader might have been waiting to finally pay off for literal years, building a type of tension that the archival reader will never be able to experience themselves.

a comic a week is a breakneck speed for people doing all the lifting themselves, but only ("only") equals out to 52 pages a year. i do 2 a week so for me its approx 104 and its been 10 irl years to get to this point in the story. i also make my money "per page" because i think i should only be paid for work i actually do. so each individual page has a literal dollar amount attached to it that hovers over my head like the axe i mentioned earlier. it is extremely hard to try to make every page "worth" what people pay for it, knowing how precious money is when times are tough. and also just, you know, because people going out of their way to click on my page should see something worth seeing.

i spend more time with these pages than anyone so i get sick of looking at and thinking about them long before anyone else even sees them. one problem ive noticed is that i will come up with what i think is a funny joke and by the time the page is done, its not funny anymore and i struggle to imagine other people laughing at it. then i think "i dont want to read this, why would anyone want to read this. this sucks."

recently i had to re-read my own old pages, something i dread having to do, and was dismayed by how it read in the archival sense. in my attempt to make every page "worth reading/making" every page ended with a punchline and developed a monotonous rhythm i've been trying and failing to get out of. iambic pentameter ass comic.

i forgot my point. uhhhh san dimas high school football RULES

[unichrome]

AI and the value of labour (but only if it's yours)

Few of you have missed the whole AI/AI-art/ChatGPT-debate by now and even though few have the technical literacy to actually know what it is and its implementations, it hasn't stopped people from having opinions on it, and wow they sure are Opinions. It's mainly about how it's art-theft and will put already struggling artists out of business because now there's a chance that their dandelion found in a deviantart furry artwork they made using GIMP once will now be seen made sort of in the same style on a 250x250 pixel generated picture from a free online generator. And now I'm going to be snarky about it but also highlight a problem seen from the other end of this - the value of labour, and I'm not talking about the artists labour here.

But first let's look back a little bit for some well-needed perspective:

The logic for this is nothing we haven't seen before; you can't copy art and have it made available for just everyone to use like this! In the early 2000's it put musicians out of business and destroyed music forever with the introduction of napster. Pirate bay is why movies no longer are being made. It has destroyed art as we know it when people tauntingly right-clicked on a cryptobro's NFT and clicked "save as" (which I assume is also very problematic for the people who are vehemently against AI art? It's a literal 1-to-1 copy of your work). Media corporations are dying because intellectual properties are no longer protected under the copyright laws after 70 or so years. In the 90's there was even some video star who literally murdered a radio star. With the introduction of vinyl, it even killed live music forever.

So technology has been destroying just about all forms of art as we know it for a while now and each time it's the same doomsday predictions from the newly formed kind of art-christianity where some art has soul (Good, Skilled Laboured artists) and others hasn't (Evil, of course).

Now for the informative part of the post:

In the 1970's, computers as we know them today began forming, and with it, the value of a computer programmers skill and labour. Alongside with this, they saw a growing problem: Corporations owned everything they made, and corporations will also have the whole say about what will be present on a computer and the price of everything present on it.

This was not very appreciated by neither the programmers, and nor the customers (although few saw this growing problem coming). So in a weird twist of fate, programmers became one of the most left-wing labour-rights occupation you could find by forming Free Software Foundation, GNU, and essentially setting the stage for you to be able to use the free GIMP software instead of buying a staggering price for Adobe's Photoshop. It enabled you to download firefox instead of buying a copy of internet explorer. Because yes, before this kind of software activism formed, and the general environment of software development became to make it as freely available as possible - and having an outright despise for corporations like Novell and Microsoft for taking such huge amount of money to their own pockets instead of the developers, literally every piece of software cost money. A LOT of money.

This kind of 100% for free software usage we're used to has also led to us no longer being appreciative of the work and skill that goes behind keeping a software not only developed and updated continuously for decades, but also spending money on keeping it hosted and delivered to you for free. We even joke and scoff about the mere thought of having to pay 0.99 Euro for an app we'd use daily and a developer spent 2 years in the making. Meanwhile, when someone offers to pay someone merely 10 euro or so for a handmade blanket, there's an outrage about the value of labour and skill. And rightfully so! I support that, and so should you, even if it's labour that you weren't the one making.

And it doesn't end there either - we all know corporations has no trouble finding new ways to charge you money. Organisations like Free Software Foundation, various Linux projects and Mozilla have campaigned for a freer usage in general, leading to fair-use laws, campaigning for the right to repair your technology instead of having to buy new one all the time, as well as preventing corporations from banning every other piece of software on a computer that they don't want you to have (from a competitor or free alternative of their software).

I mentioned Adobe specifically, because in the wave of anti-AI-art outcry, artists are campaigning for a ban on making software that uses other peoples artistic similarities (not copies mind you, similarities, meaning making it a copyright infringement to have art that is similar to yours, since that's what AI-art algorithms create), and I'm sure right off the bat many of you can see the huge problem with that, but Adobe sure isn't. They're also gladly in on this, because that would mean that free alternatives of Photoshop like GIMP would also become a copyright infringement. So would a lot of our other free software we use daily and take for granted.

That's all I wanted to say about this I think. The TL;DR version is basically to value labour even if it isn't yours, and to not take it for granted. As a final part to remember about AI is that it is a tool, and like any tool it can be used for good or evil. AI is what made it possible for us to make sense of the large hadron collider data and made enormous leaps in scientific discovery in just a few years, that would otherwise had taken 500 years to sort through by humans, and with a much higher rate of error.

#datatag #AI #computer science #labour #copyright

[pinchedlittlefox]

Yes, yes Brendol Hux and whatever but when are we getting Grand Admiral Sloane and little Armitage? When do we get to see her build her Empire while shaping her young protégé, who ultimately loses his way upon her disappearance/demise?

It’s obvious by the end of Aftermath that Rae Sloane has begun to grow attached to Armitage. Despite their rocky beginning she did protect him from Brendol. So I would not be surprised if Sloane was responsible for his rise in the First Order. ( And I’ll explain why. But first, some context: ) What better way to create a revised version of the Empire than with a genius child who can develop technology that will pull a broken organization from that ashes? We know from the Phasma novel that Sloane is gone by 30 ABY. ( Cardinal mentions her and Armitage defensively retorts that she is not around). But Cardinal also mentions that Brendol was preparing for a meeting with Grand Admiral Sloane and the first set of First Order leaders on the day he gives Cardinal his new title as Captain. That signifies that Sloane was still around and in command of the First Order after it became a more established organization. So she did not die while they were still forming the First Order in the unknown regions. That also means that she was around while Armitage was at the Academy and rising through the ranks as an officer. Which clarifies a lot of his contradicting beliefs. 

When I say contradicting beliefs I mean the disparity between Armitage’s  desire to rise and thus buy into Snoke’s ideals of what the First Order is ( after Snoke becomes Supreme leader and supersedes the apparent first group of leaders including Grand Admiral Sloane ) versus Sloane’s original beliefs of what she thought her new revised Empire should comprise of. This is honestly what makes Armitage Hux such an interesting character to me. 

Snoke’s outlook obviously entails the destruction of worlds and ruling by force. The First Order is a tool for his dark agenda. It helps him keep his stronghold over the galaxy and gives him the firepower to secure his reign and further his own goals. Armitage Hux’s pride in the completion of Starkiller and his many other projects, along with his attempts to keep a strong grasp on the power he has attained, displays him buying into these beliefs. I think that part is rather evident and widely accepted. But then there is the other facet of Armitage. The part that still clings to ideals that are similar to Sloane’s beliefs of the version of the Empire she wanted to create.

You can see that here in Hux’s internal monologue, featured in The Last Jedi novelization, by Jason Fry

But Hux knew the future would need a different kind of leader—one able to direct the galaxy’s industries and nurture their innovations, while commanding its citizens’ respect. Snoke wasn’t that leader. And neither was Ren.

Versus Sloane’s inner monologue during Aftermath: Lift Debt by Chuck Wendig:

Slavery has never been part of the perfect Empire that lives inside her head. It may have been necessary for a time, but now the galaxy should be made to see the Empire’s glory—and you can’t teach them of its splendor through slavery. Slavery is not strength; it is weakness. Citizens should serve the Empire because it is right to do so. Why would any choose otherwise?

The idea that citizens should server the Empire/First Order because it’s the right thing to do is common between them both. For context, Sloane came from a gang infested world that the Empire helped clean up. So her outlook on Imperial occupation is positive & her idea of a perfect Empire was one that promoted order and peace with necessary force. She grew disillusioned with Palpatine’s version of the Empire which used uncessary force and had cult-like attributes. ( Disclaimer: This is not a commentary stating that Sloane’s ideas are right. Sloane is still very much a villain. Just with a moral code. Despite how convoluted her moral code is. The First Order is still clearly still a bad organization. )

Now consider the fact that Armitage Hux tried to talk Snoke out of firing Starkiller a second time because he was afraid of eliminating occupied planets that were not involved in the war...

Snoke replied with cold satisfaction. “We do not need it. Prepare the weapon. Destroy their system.” Collected and composed as he was, Hux was not immune to surprise. “The system? Supreme Leader, according to the most recent galographics, at least two and possibly three habitable worlds circle Ileenium. Following the destruction of the Hosnian worlds, would it not be worthwhile simply to destroy their base and claim the remainder for the Order?

-The Force Awakens novelization, by Jason Fry,

The attack on Hosnian Prime was a political power play. Armitage considers the action a necessary act of war but he was taken aback when Snoke ordered him to fire on potentially uninvolved system in lieu of just taking out the Resistance base. Like Sloane, his moral code is corrupted, but still present.

And then we have this scene of Hux refuting Ren from The Force Awakens novelization...

“Again, this map. Which for all I know may or may not even exist.”

Ren’s voice darkened to a degree that caused Phasma to take a step backward. “I do not think I care for your implication, General. You would be wise to keep such thoughts to yourself. You would be wise not to think them.”

Hux held his ground. “My duty is to fight for the First Order with every iota of information, every scrap of material, and every functioning trooper at my command. That was in the oath I took. That is the oath I have sworn to uphold.”

Yes, Hux is serving Snoke’s First Order at this point in the timeline but take a moment to consider how risky this declaration is. Kylo may have a personal interest in finding and destroying Luke but we are also aware that Snoke tasked Kylo with this mission. So Hux’s skepticism almost implies that his loyalty to the First Order is beyond his loyalty to Snoke.

Anyway, than you for enduring this long post. My ultimate point was that Hux is a really intriguing character because he is a culmination of Brendol’s cruelty and Sloane’s idealism. He is selfish and power hungry, but he also has a genuine interest in building and organization that promotes order through, centralized control, innovation and ( his version of ) respect. It’s fascinating to see his own moral and internal struggle play out. And I really hope we see more of this development play out in his youth through further storylines. 

#armitage hux #general hux #hux meta #my headcanons #my analysis #long post

[bethanydelleman]

Northanger Abbey Readthrough, Ch 7

John Thorpe has arrived... yay. His introduction is anything but auspicious:

they were prevented crossing by the approach of a gig, driven along on bad pavement by a most knowing-looking coachman with all the vehemence that could most fitly endanger the lives of himself, his companion, and his horse.

We have another clue that James and Isabella have some sort of attachment:

his devoirs were speedily paid, with a mixture of joy and embarrassment which might have informed Catherine, had she been more expert in the development of other people’s feelings, and less simply engrossed by her own, that her brother thought her friend quite as pretty as she could do herself.

I love how Catherine will later gather all these clues that General Tilney is a wife-murderer/imprisoner but she misses every clue of basically everything else.

John Thorpe isn't even hot or well dressed guys:

He was a stout young man of middling height, who, with a plain face and ungraceful form, seemed fearful of being too handsome unless he wore the dress of a groom, and too much like a gentleman unless he were easy where he ought to be civil, and impudent where he might be allowed to be easy.

At least Willoughby and Wickham have the decency to be eye candy! I have NOTHING good to say about Mr. Thorpe. He reminds me of Donald Trump to be honest (I try to stay non-political here, but the constant lying and aggrandizement and saying contradictory statements one after another... it's so Trump). He also swears a lot, which Austen delicately writes as d---. The way that James jumps in every so often with the real truth, but John just glides right past his corrections, ug. (but funny).

Then John Thorpe becomes Sir Walter Elliot, though worse because at least Sir Walter is hot:

Her companion’s discourse now sunk from its hitherto animated pitch to nothing more than a short decisive sentence of praise or condemnation on the face of every woman they met; and Catherine, after listening and agreeing as long as she could, with all the civility and deference of the youthful female mind, fearful of hazarding an opinion of its own in opposition to that of a self-assured man, especially where the beauty of her own sex is concerned

Sir Walter also judges both sexes, because of course he does my beloved, pansexual dandy:

The worst of Bath was the number of its plain women. He did not mean to say that there were no pretty women, but the number of the plain was out of all proportion. He had frequently observed, as he walked, that one handsome face would be followed by thirty, or five-and-thirty frights; and once, as he had stood in a shop on Bond Street, he had counted eighty-seven women go by, one after another, without there being a tolerable face among them. It had been a frosty morning, to be sure, a sharp frost, which hardly one woman in a thousand could stand the test of. But still, there certainly were a dreadful multitude of ugly women in Bath; and as for the men! they were infinitely worse. Such scarecrows as the streets were full of! It was evident how little the women were used to the sight of anything tolerable, by the effect which a man of decent appearance produced.

It's always interesting to me to compare Northanger Abbey and Persuasion because the heroines and the feelings towards Bath could not be more different! Anne Elliot hates Bath, Catherine LOVES it. Anne is the wisest, most grounded heroine and Catherine is the most naive. But here we have parallel scenes where a man critiques the looks of other people and the heroine is not happy about it.

Now we get into John Thorpe getting down on novels.

“Not I, faith! No, if I read any, it shall be Mrs. Radcliffe’s; her novels are amusing enough; they are worth reading; some fun and nature in them.” “Udolpho was written by Mrs. Radcliffe,” said Catherine, with some hesitation, from the fear of mortifying him. “No, sure; was it? Aye, I remember, so it was; I was thinking of that other stupid book, written by that woman they make such a fuss about, she who married the French emigrant.”

John Thorpe may be the only outright racist (xenophobic?) and anti-sementic character we see in Austen. So good for him, I guess? But also clearly an idiot. Also, The Monk, which John says he did enjoy, was a very controversial novel at the time. It features rape, murder, demons in women's bodies, etc. The titular monk kidnaps a virtuous maiden, which is a hint at what is to come...

Then we have John's address to his mother, "“Where did you get that quiz of a hat? It makes you look like an old witch." which I assume is derogatory (affectionate). This seems to be his way with family, "On his two younger sisters he then bestowed an equal portion of his fraternal tenderness, for he asked each of them how they did, and observed that they both looked very ugly."

Now Catherine, it should be noted, does not like John pretty much immediately, but she's flattered and convinced by both Isabella and James into thinking somewhat better of him. She is also engaged to dance with him, which considering her previous disappointments, is a logical feeling.

Ug, men in Austen knowing nothing about women again, "He is as good-natured a fellow as ever lived; a little of a rattle; but that will recommend him to your sex, I believe" Will it? Does it? I have a hard time imagining any Austen woman liking Thorpe, except maybe Lydia Bennet or Anne Steele? The man is insufferable! Also, Lydia goes for looks so maybe not even her. Come on, James! Have more faith in women!

And then Catherine goes home and gets right back into reading Uldolpho, which is exactly what I would have done too. Elizabeth Bennet is not your book-obsessed heroine people, it's my girl Catherine!

#northanger abbey #northanger abbey readthrough #john thorpe #James Morland #Isabella thorpe #catherine morland

[animehouse-moe]

You Should Read The Ephemeral Scenes Of Setsuna's Journey

Isekai light novels get a bad rap, and rightfully so. A lot are complete drivel that is strung together by overpowered characters that appeal to a power fantasy and very little else. Finding good isekai series is quite the challenge. Thankfully, The Ephemeral Scenes Of Setsuna's Journey promises to be a proper good isekai, and one that I think people should be picking up.

Yes, I'm terrible for not having posted about either of these volumes as I've read them. I've just been a little pre-occupied with mulling them over and really savoring the process of reading them. As a side note though, this post will only talk about the first volume in loose terms, completely avoiding any talk of the second volume.

Anyways, what's Setsuna about? To answer sort of cryptically, it's about a boy finding his place in a wide world where he can surround himself with family as well as experiences he could have never had before.

Setsuna was terminally ill in his original world. He wasn't alone or living a crappy life by any means, as his family was incredibly caring and loving, but being restricted to a bed for the majority of life is a soul crushing experience. So, imagine how you would feel if you were summoned as a hero to a land of magic and ability beyond belief, but were still crippled by that same illness. Only here, you have no family, you have no one that wants to care for you and ensure you live as good a life as possible.

Or so you thought. As a year passes and Setsuna is nearly "released" from his duties as a hero, a previous hero appears before the sickly young man, offering a promise, 'take my life'. In the most literal sense, the former hero swaps his soul with Setsuna's to give the young man a new lease on life in a new world, and our story begins from here.

It's such a great and emotional beginning to Setsuna's story. We see him hit rock bottom, saved by someone that comes to be an older brother to the young man in hindsight, giving Setsuna a push on the back and saying, "go out there and live.". It's very very strong sentiment, and it's what we see through the entirety of the first volume.

It's all about Setsuna making connections in the world, finding a family, finding people that care about him and will take him in and give him direction in life. A grandfather that carefully watches over his much too strong grandson for how naive he is. The father that struggles with his life decisions and if what he's doing is right for his family. Or maybe another father figure that brings Setsuna out into the real world, alongside a brother that's just a bit difficult to get along with. Maybe even the den mother that gives Setsuna a warm home and the push he needs to leave his home town.

The idea of a found family, and its importance in the development and direction of Setsuna's new life is just felt so strongly in every interaction, it's wonderful. Setsuna was originally bound to the confines of a bed in a hospital room. He hardly has an idea of how to live in the outside world, let alone on his own and in an entirely new world. The slower steps that the young man takes just really help you grasp the idea that Setsuna is groping around in the dark with the help of others to find his purpose and goal in this new life.

And while the story almost always frames it as Setsuna being helped by those around him, it's impossible to not understand that Setsuna leaves a lasting effect on those that come to favor him, and I think that's incredibly great. The idea that only one of the two strangers in an interaction will walk away better for it is silly. These are two individuals at two important places in their lives, it is not one lecturing the other, but the pair engaging with each other. Setsuna learns, but he also teaches.

There's just so many aspects like this that really sell just how great the character development is in the story. Even better is that it's just one facet of it. There is, in a fact, a greater story to be told in several areas, and the first volume is great at illustrating that scope and scale without detracting from the small community with which Setsuna begins his new life.

Similarly, all the little extraneous bits. The magic system is solid and complex, placing heavy focus on individuality and purpose. The guild system aims for chemistry alongside capability, and ties a strong political thread into it as a whole. Warriors and adventurers are shown to be strong and able, rivaling and evening outpacing Setsuna thanks to experience and knowledge. And so on and so forth.

The only thing I can think to complain of is that, much like a lot of other great isekai writers, they feel rushed to get somewhere. So many don't have confidence in the words they weave to form entire worlds that they end up leaving potential on the table. Not that it's something terrible and should be complained about, but just that even in a story as good as this, the author so clearly has more they could have given, maybe even wanted to give, but were limited due to uncertainty, time constraints, or something else.

At the end of the day, isekai is unrightfully a genre, and will force series like Setsuna into being classified as an isekai. But I think anybody that reads will immediately understand the differences. Like every other great isekai series out there, Setsuna uses the concept as a theme to set the stage for the exploration of a story that can use that theme to its fullest potential. And I think that's great, and that people should be reading this series so that we can see more like it.

Oh, and also, there's a beautiful 2 volume manga adaptation of the LN if you want to test the waters.

#the ephemeral scenes of setsunas journey #the ephemeral scenes of setsuna's journey #setsuna no yuukei #isekai manga #isekai light novel #isekai #light novel review #light novel recommendation #light novel #manga review #manga reccs #manga recommendation #anime and manga

[centrally-unplanned]

As I am now full-in on the body count section of The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere, I do have growing complaints about how it handles its sort of mystery build-up and reveal aspects. There is an adage for mystery novels to "have your answers ask more questions"; you set up a mystery, you *resolve* the mystery, but that resolution itself just creates deeper mysteries. This of course works very well to keep ratcheting up tension and keep the story moving forward; but it also resolves tension at the same time, you do actually get answers as you go. As an author you can perhaps think of there being a "quota" for the number of active questions for the reader to be considering; if you stack too many at once its both too hard to track them and is frustrating to read about, the story never delivers.

TFTBN breaks this rule; not every time, but a lot. In particular with Su's identity/trauma origin it happens all the time, you get literally dozens of "more mystery" moments behind it before you ever get any answers around it. Its just too coy by half! Why is my narrator like deliberately hiding their own thoughts from the reader across dozens of instances where those thoughts would be extremely relevant? The tension has already been ratcheted to the max, you can set it aside for a bit if you want but if you dangle the question in front of me too often it loses impact.

And even though now we have been getting answers, its *still* playing coy. You have a flashback to a scene of child Su being confronted by Ran over her identity mystery, and she breaks down and starts to explain it, and then the scene just cuts, so you only get a half an explanation. Which is enough to pretty much piece it together, so like the tension is gone? Now when you are coy about it (multiple times after that scene!) its a little lame actually, who ya fooling! But what it did is take away the opportunity to just have a really good scene. You cut away from a character's moment of emotional revelation and interpersonal confrontation.

Mysteries, to simplify of course, do two things for the reader; they make you turn the page in your desire to know more, and they set up dramatic stakes for their reveal in scenes. Its a balancing act ofc but you don't want to sacrifice the latter to keep baiting the former.

I feel this too around the "villain faction" for the story. Right now the villain faction is a virtually-unknown group of actors who have had no interactions or relationships with any of the characters, using mystery tactics to kill people. We are many chapters into that plot, multiple people of note have died, but they are still just strangers - their stated motives minimal and seemingly farcical.

Ofc I am no fool, I understand via meta knowledge and have picked up on the hints they have dropped that they will in fact not be strangers in full - I get how stories work. The problem is that meanwhile we have had like multiple scenes of the group having the traitor debate - "is it one of us?" But that question is silly because I *know nothing about the villains* of substance. Why would any of these classmates betray their group for them? We have no info on that. Oh sure sure I have these like, tiny *mechanical* hints. Like one time Seth? He gave a thumbs up to Ezekiel, when they were supposed to be mad at each other. Sus, my dudes. But that isn't a *motive*, right? Its not a compelling story, its just data. Because the story wont resolve any of its dangling questions, the idea that any of these people is a traitor is just dumb, you would have to like explain the entire plot in one infodump to sell it as interesting. By insisting on drip-feeding every mystery, instead of chained resolution-renewal, these plot threads aren't developed enough to work when they need to.

I do think this comes back to the fundamentals of the pacing issue - there is essentially a desire for this story to be longer than it is. Its a 3000 page book (equivalent ofc), but it isn't, not really. I am ~1000 pages into it I guess, but its probably not even ~500 pages in actual content. I could do this in definitely 400. And this is more than just a padding problem - its that structural thing, to make that length work and still be decent as a story (which it is, its a good story overall) you have to sort of chop up your big moments , which sort of kills them.

Like there is a character, Jia Fang, a fellow student who doesn't go with the group, but is mentioned a bunch as a sort of wild card, and its built up right? They are totally gonna show up somehow, there is tension about what they are up to, and then bam, they literally burst through the door. Its great, they make a huge impact, the chapter ends on that cliffhanger.

And then after maybe a few paragraphs with them the next *multiple chapters* are about a conversation between other people, about other topics where Fang is barely mentioned, and then literally, literally, we get multiple other student's academic thesis presentations, before the plot that Fang showed up to be involved in kicks back into gear. Its self-sabotage right, the literary moment broken apart because the story has to hit quota.

Its certainly a case where the serial nature of the publication would make it ludicrously difficult to fix, that I totally get. Art is really, really hard.

#the flower that bloomed nowhere

[the-otome-freak]

Psychedelica of the Black Butterfly Review!!

This is my first ever official, extensive otome review!! I hope y'all enjoy, I went through so many ups and downs with this game. I hope this review inspires more people to get the game, or maybe even helps people realize it might not be for them! I also attempted to keep it as spoiler-free as possible, but there are parts that might dive into spoiler territory. I made sure to mention it, if so! Enjoy~ . . . .

Psychedelica of the Black Butterfly is a visual novel developed by Otomate and published by Idea Factory in 2015, available on the PS Vita and Steam. It’s an extremely dark, gothic story with very heavy themes and romance akin to Shakespearian tragedy. When I first picked up this game, I had been previously warned about the angst it contained but nothing prepared me for what I was about to experience. This game contains themes of death, guilt, regret, grief, trauma, isolation, and more. The last time I cried so much consuming a piece of media was when I watched Les Misérables for the first time when I was 15, so that says a lot. POTBB has an iffy system, but this is easily overshadowed by the incredible storyline, jaw dropping art, compelling cast, and beautiful soundtrack.  

Before we get into plot points and character routes, I’d like to talk about POTBB’s system. It’s a typical visual novel at first glance, which means mostly just clicking in order to read the text and watching the events unfold. The features that set it apart however were quite interesting- and frankly quite frustrating as well. This includes its combat system and its flowchart.

POTBB has a combat system that pops up a couple times throughout the story while you’re fighting monsters. The instructions for the combat system were very vague and confusing, especially since I played on PC where the button configurations aren’t clarified in the “Options” menu, so it was a lot of trial and error. It instructs you to shoot your gun, but not how (on PC). I had to figure out on my own that I had to use the left and right click of my mouse to shoot/lock onto targets, so the first couple of plays I was very confused and frustrated. The object of the game is to shoot as many butterflies as possible in the allotted time while also getting a good score, which is achieved by getting combos. Playing the game earns you points. Another problem is that it’s quite glitchy and hard to lock onto the butterflies properly to shoot them, but with practice you can improve (with the sacrifice of a couple of hand cramps). 

The other unique thing about POTBB’s system is its flowchart, which is useful because it allows you to jump to any point in the story you’ve already unlocked, but it can be very frustrating sometimes. You’re required to use the flowchart in order to access the “Side Stories,” aka extra content you slowly unlock as you play. To access the flowchart, you have to go to the menu. The game doesn’t notify you when you’ve unlocked a Side Story, so you just have to remember to check the flowchart every once in a while to see if any have unlocked. And even if a Side Story is “unlocked”, you still have to spend your points you earned in the minigame to actually view the content. Certain character routes, endings, and choices can’t be unlocked unless you’ve viewed these Side Stories. I actually got stuck a few times during my playthrough because I didn’t realize some of the Side Stories were unlocked, and you need to read them to progress. I found that the process of scrolling through the flowchart in the middle of the story often took away from the immersion, but it wasn’t awful. 

On a positive note, I have to talk about POTBB’s art, which was created by Satoru Yuiga. Yuiga has an expressive, sort of water-color art style that adds to the spiritual and mystic elements of the game. I actually didn’t like the style at first; I thought some of the character sprites looked strange, but I quickly got used to it and was soon blown away. The CGs were gorgeous and added so much life to the characters. The facial expressions were so vivid, they displayed perfect depictions of terror, shock, love… I felt every emotion through the art. I’m looking forward to playing more of Yuiga’s games just because of her art. (Images below are promotional CGs)

Now, let's talk plot! (I summarize the Common Route in this section, so feel free to skip if you consider that spoilers!) The story and characters are the best thing about this game, in my opinion. You play as a girl named Beniyuri who has just woken up in a strange mansion with no memory of her past or even herself. You see the world through Beni’s eyes as she traverses the mansion and tries to figure out what’s going on and why she’s there. The mansion is dark, gothic, and scary. Its halls seem endless, every window and door is locked, and mysterious butterflies can be seen practically everywhere. And just when things seem their darkest, Beni hears the loud roar of a beast. Two large lion-like creatures appear and attempt to attack her. Imagine if a Minotaur had a lion’s head; that’s what they look like. She thinks she’s a goner, but suddenly she’s saved by a mysterious man with dark hair and purple eyes. They hide from the monsters together, and Beni learns that this man also doesn’t have any memories. They team up and explore, eventually coming across 3 other men in the mansion who also have amnesia. The four of them find a large hall within the mansion to make their ‘base’ where they’ll be safe from the monsters. They realize that they all have phones on them, and though there isn’t any service, each of them has received one message. “Collect the shards. Complete the kaleidoscope.” They’re in this mansion for a reason, and clearly someone is pulling the strings.

I can’t go into too much detail about the individual routes because the amount of plot twists and spoilers in this game are insane. I will describe each guy and a summary of what their route meant for me and how it made me feel. Some of the routes were phenomenal in their story writing and character development, others not so much. 

The first route recommended is a man named Kagiha, the 2nd person that Beni meets in the mansion, and I have complex feelings about his route. He’s a tall, soft spoken, polite man with light brown hair and green eyes. He’s very kindhearted and treats Beni with a lot of care, cheering her up when she’s depressed about their situation. Kagiha was my favorite in the beginning simply due to how kind he was. All of them were in a very depressing situation with no memories and barely any hope, so his kindness was a sort of light in that darkness. I was very excited for his route and to learn his backstory. It turns out, his route is a branch of the “Best Ending” of the game, so you get to learn the truth about almost everything as you play through his route. I certainly wasn’t expecting this. I had been warned in the past about POTBB’s bittersweet endings, but I really wasn’t prepared like I thought I was. Due to Kagiha’s circumstances (that I can’t go into detail about), his route has two endings, and neither of them are “happy” in regard to his relationship with Beni. The “Best Ending” of the game does indeed end on a happy note, but they don’t end up happy together (again due to circumstances I can’t talk about without spoiling). The “Kagiha Ending” of the game does have them end up together romantically, but with very bittersweet conditions that’s more depressing than the alternative, in my opinion. I was very upset and I cried at both endings, regretting that I loved Kagiha so much because neither ending let him and Beni be truly happy together. But even though I was upset, I have to admit that the “Best Ending” was written phenomenally and deals with the concept of death, grieving, acceptance, and change in a beautiful way. The themes in this game are very heavy but discuss them in a beautiful, important way that really gets your brain going. I sat in silence for a while after the “Best Ending” just… thinking. 

After that emotional wreck, I was ready for a happy ending or at least some more closure. Hikage’s route is recommended after Kagiha, which surprised me a bit. Based off of the cover art and his introduction, he seemed to be the “poster boy.” Hikage is the first man Beni meets in the mansion, the man who saved her from the monsters. I can barely describe his route without getting into spoilers, but it was intense. I didn’t like Hikage at first because he had this misogynistic mindset and constantly scolded Beni for being “weak, just like all women” and yelled at her for “slowing them down.” I wasn’t excited for his route because obviously it meant Beni would get more of this treatment, but I was honestly surprised at what his route had in store. There’s a major plot twist within the route and you come to understand why Hikage has this mindset, and that it doesn’t come from a place of misogyny, but rather trauma. The ending to his route shocked me so much and I bawled my eyes out. It definitely ends on a bittersweet note as well, but the very last scene offers some sort of closure (though not enough, in my opinion.) I overall liked his route plot-wise and thought it was also very thought provoking, tackling themes of abuse, death, mental instability, and despair. Romantically it was okay, but I felt like it took a side-seat to the plot which can either be good or bad, depending on how much you value romance and/or get attached to the characters. Without spoiling, I can tell you that Hikage is written in a way where it makes sense that romance isn’t the focus. Thankfully I wasn’t attached to Hikage as much as Kagiha, but I still cried a river anyway…

You’d think after two routes with horrifically bittersweet endings that the whole game will probably be this way, but surprisingly, the third route in POTBB filled my heart with joy. This route centered around Yamato, who’s a short-tempered, sporty guy with ice-blue hair. He has a bit of a foul mouth, often yelling or getting angry at their situation, but never in an irrational way. Yamato actually ended up being my favorite character overall. He has an unexpected soft side and his romance with Beni was the most realistic among the cast. I also felt his route was quite tragic, despite having the happiest romantic ending in the game. Yamato and Beni’s relationship is really complex, and they actually bond over grief and guilt. Both of them harbor so much guilt in their hearts and it shackles the both of them to their pasts, but by grieving together and finding strength in one another, they’re able to push each other to move on and grow. I really enjoyed this route in a moral sense. It teaches you that it’s okay to grieve and that people grieve at different paces, and sometimes it’s okay to bond over said grief. Healing and forgiveness take time, and having someone else there to heal with you can make you both stronger. The themes in his route were so beautiful and even watching his bonds with other members of the cast grow were incredible too. He has the happiest romantic ending in the game as well, which just added to how good it was. Interestingly enough, Yamato’s route also helped me come to terms with the bittersweetness of the previous routes. I was finally able to accept the circumstances and reasonings behind the depressing endings, allowing me to appreciate the game more as a whole.  

After Yamato’s romantic end, I was excited to finish the rest of the game. I prayed that this next route had a happy ending as well, and that Yamato wasn’t just an exception. I began to pursue Monshiro, who’s a mysterious man who wears a fox mask that Beni has spotted wandering the mansion sometimes. I didn’t know what to expect from him during the first bit of the game because he’s sort of absent until the end of the common route. I was pleasantly surprised, though! I learned more and more about him as I played, even in the other routes, and he’s wonderful. He’s adorable, loving, and incredibly sweet. His route tackles themes of isolation and loneliness, with Monshiro being severely traumatized due to being alone in the mansion for several years. He’s very clingy with Beni and values their relationship more than anything, his main fear being him getting left alone again. His ending was quite happy as well, but their romantic development and deep connection never really got the ending it deserved. Their bond was almost as strong as her bond with Yamato, but I feel like in the end they didn’t get to express that to each other properly. It also felt quite short to me, I wish I could have gotten more content with them that wasn’t plot-related and just focused on their bond and how much they care for each other. Overall, I enjoyed it because Monshiro is so loveable, but the ending just left me unsatisfied and begging for more.  

Now, the last route was a doozy. I’d like to clarify before I begin that this is all, of course, my opinion and perspective, so don’t let this discourage you from trying the game or loving this character! I will get into minor spoilers as well here, just because it’s hard to explain my feelings without talking about what happened. The last route I played was Karasuba, who is… not the best. I can confidently say I hate him, and his route didn’t really change that for me. He has bright yellow hair and yellow eyes, so his design was already creepy to me from the start, but his personality is much worse. At first glance he seems like a funny, happy-go-lucky class clown type, but his real personality is much more twisted. He flirts with Beni so intensely to the point of sexual harassment, but then backs off and laughs, pretending it was “just a joke.” Now this is already bad enough, but he’s just incredibly rude to everyone around him as well. He demeans Beni constantly for being “naive” and “cowardly,” all with a smile on his face as he pretends he’s saying it “for her own good.” He also constantly insults the other characters, starting fights with them whenever he can and giggling about it when it’s over. The whole “reason” behind why he acts like this is because he was bullied when he was a child. He projects his insecurities onto others and thus becomes the bully he hated so much when he was younger. He does later apologize for this at the end of his route, but I felt like one sorry just wasn’t enough to atone for the way he treated everyone? He sexually harasses Beni until she starts crying at one point, then backs away and claims it was “just a joke to teach her a lesson at how dangerous men can be.” He’s just awful and I don’t think he develops very much, even in his good ending despite his apology. His bad ending was even worse, which involved him brainwashing and manipulating Beni to be with him. I know some people who enjoyed his route and while I do respect that, it’s just hard for me to understand how someone would enjoy a character like him. I do think he’s interesting because he has deep flaws and trauma and instead of growing from it, he let them taint him and he ended up becoming the very thing he hated. So, he is interesting, but that doesn’t mean he’s a good love interest for Beni or even a good character in general. If I’d have to state one major flaw about this game, it’s Karasuba’s existence and his lack of character development or redemption.

After the 5 character routes are over, you’d assume that’s the end. The game actually continues after this, though, with the “Summer Camp” ending that unlocks last. This was my favorite part of the game. It’s a “What-If” scenario where every single character gets their happy ending, and offers a lot of closure after the despair you experience in the character routes. It healed me and freshened my mind after the tragedy. It’s a wonderful inclusion and I actually cried tears of joy while playing it, due to how emotional it made me. 

Overall, Psychedelica of the Black Butterfly was an emotional rollercoaster that I will never forget. While yes it has its flaws, I don’t regret playing it. The topics covered, such as isolation, death, and guilt, were so heavy and intense; but they were also so meaningful and I feel like everyone should experience them. I feel my favorite theme was the deep dive into Survivor’s Guilt and how people process and deal with it differently. The mystery surrounding the mansion and their circumstances was also very interesting and the plot twists were well executed. The whole cast is so full of life and each of their bonds are extremely complex. Beniyuri is a wonderful main character and I found myself rooting for her and her happiness the entire time. I definitely recommend this game to anyone who loves tragedy and complex plots, but I probably wouldn’t recommend this game to someone who’d be uncomfortable with really dark themes like graphic death. This game definitely took a toll on my mental health for a few days, but also offered life lessons that I’ll no doubt remember and value for a very long time. 

Rating: 7/10!

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