#how men treat us

[aeide-thea]

on principle opposed to describing art i dislike as 'masturbatory' because even though it's an alluringly contemptuous word to sneer it's impossible to reconcile with my pro-masturbation stance

#it's such an ugly word but like. self-pleasure is good‚ actually #it's good to know yourself and what you like and lovingly treat yourself to it! #like similarly 'meretricious' is extremely tempting if you ignore the underlying metaphor #but. hard to. #language #and quite frankly i think people who whip out 'masturbatory' in this sneering sort of way #are leveraging‚ if we're honest with ourselves‚ a particular framing of it as a gross thing that boys do #because like. when have you ever heard a *woman's* self-indulgent art described as masturbatory #like don't get me wrong we absolutely still dismiss it! but we dismiss it in other ways #that are usually about how embarrassing her *yearning* is #and so even our sneering is reinforcing an idea that men Act whereas women Feel #anyway this was prompted by some things but i shoved it in the queue so now i forget what lol #so here you are getting some contextless thoughts on the use of 'masturbatory' as sneering dismissive assessment! #just what you were hoping for i'm sure :)

[dedusmuln]

yeah you support trans people but are you normal about trans men who choose to get pregnant

#i'm not a trans guy who evr wants to get pregnant but #the amount of queer ppl and other trans people i see joke around about like #how weird mpreg or men getting pregnant is #and use it as shock value shit #is really disheartening #like damn dude! it's almost like men CAN get pregnant and there IS a lot of men who choose to get pregnant ! #they don't deserve any less respect for that #and their existence shouldn't be made into a joke #ik mpreg doesn't have a great history but like #it just weirds me out to see people treat the idea of men getting pregnant as something baffling #idk normalize it. stop treating it as some weird alien thing #my textbox #a little bit upset. sorry #discourse #pregnancy #<- for filtering

[carlyraejepsans]

for real WHERE does the idea that [utdr humans] are nongendered so that "you can project on them" come from. their literal character arcs are about NOT being a blank slate to be filled in by the audience

i think i understand the assumption on some level for undertale, because there is a very intentional effort to make you identify with the "player character" in order to make your choices feel like your own (the beating heart of undertale's metanarrative lies in giving you an alternative path to violence against its enemies after all, and whether you're still willing to persue it for your own selfish reasons. YOUR agency is crucial).

of course, the cardinal plot twist of the main ending sweeps the rug from under your feet on that in every way, and frisk's individuality becomes, in turn, a tool to further UT's OTHER main theme: completionism as a form of diegetic violence within the story. replaying the game would steal frisk's life and happy ending from them for our own perverse sentimentality, emotionally forcing our hand away from the reset button.

i think their neutrality absolutely aids in that immersion. but also, there's this weird attitude by (mostly) cis fans where it being functional within the story makes it... somehow "editable" and "up to the player" as well? which is gross and shows their ass on how they approach gender neutrality in general lol.

but also like. there's plenty of neutral, non PCharacters in undertale and deltarune. even when undertale was just an earthbound fangame and the player immersion metanarrative was completely absent, toby still described frisk as a "young, androgynous person". sometimes characters are just neutral by design. it's not that hard to understand lol.

anyone who makes this argument for kris deltarune is braindead. nothing else to say about it.

#this is a very difficult topic to discuss imo because on Some level I don't completely disagree with people who make that argument for chara #in SPIRIT. if not in action. like my point still stands characters can just Be neutral. and if that level of customization had been intended #well Pokemon's been doing the ''are you a boy or a girl'' shtick for ages. no reason why that couldn't have been included as well #but i do feel that we're supposed to identify with chara within the story. not as in chara is us but as in we are chara #and i think someone playing the game without outside interferences and (wrongly) coming to the conclusion that chara IS literally #themselves in the story. and thus call them by their own name (the one they likely inputted at the start) and pronouns #will be someone who grasped undertale's metanarrative more than someone who went in already spoiled on the NM route who thinks of chara #(and on some level frisk as well) as completely separate from us with independent wills and personhoods at any time #who treats them as nonbinary. even if their approach is more ''appropriate'' to a gender neutral person #systematic error vs manually changing every measure to fit what you already think is going to be the correct result. ykwim? #of course this opens a whole new parentheses while discussing the game outside of your personal experience #because even if you DO see chara as a self insert then they are a self insert for EVERYONE. women men genderqueer people #i don't call chara ''biscia'' even though that's what i named the fallen human in my playthrough. neither do i use they because i also do #if you're describing the character/story objectively in how they are executed then you're going to talk about them neutrally #because you ain't the only sunovabitch who played the darn game sonny #so like. either way you turn it. even in the most self insert reading you'd STILL logically use they/them so ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ git gud #answered asks

[sinistersuns]

I hope more people who feel they’re leftists begin to realize that genuinely hating men AND/OR immediately assuming a man (or someone you perceive as a man) you don’t know is out to harm you is t3rf behavior. This belief will not keep you safe, it’s meant to isolate you and put the marginalized men around you in danger. Hating men will not do shit to the bigoted cishet white men in power, but it’ll tell the marginalized men around you that they aren’t welcome around you. This extends to anyone who looks like cis society’s idea of a man, but isn’t actually one, too - do y’all really think trans people of ANY gender say “okay I’m x gender now” and are immediately treated like that gender by society as a whole? Do you think your fear of anyone with facial hair and a deep voice will stop at dangerous cis men, and that only dangerous cis men have those traits? And I’m specifying DANGEROUS cis men because cis men as a group aren’t inherently dangerous. The way someone looks or identifies says nothing about whether they’re “safe” or not! I thought we fucking learned this!!

#I’m tired of being looked at like I’m a danger and I’m tired of nonpassing transfems being looked at like they’re dangerous #I can’t trust anyone who says they ‘hate men’ because I genuinely don’t know if y’all are joking or not anymore #I used to be someone who genuinely hated cis men because of how I’d been treated by them. but I cut that shit out when I realized how terfy #it is. and beyond that it isn’t fair to cis men as a whole and especially not marginalized cis men #having compassion for a group of people who’ve hurt or even traumatized you is hard. but you have to do it or you’re going to fall into #some form of bigotry that will only hurt the people you claim to support #TO BE CLEAR. ‘a group of people who hurt you’ doesn’t refer to bigoted groups like transphobes or racists etc etc #I’m specifically talking about neutral identities like gender #bigots can go die #transphobia #transmascphobia #transmisogyny #transgender #trans

[uncanny-tranny]

Begging people to learn that fetishization is a specific form of dehumanization that sees the target primarily as a (often sexual) tool for somebody to achieve their own goal. A person who fetishizes somebody will often not recognize somebody's humanity because they are primarily focused on their own desires.

Fetishization is not when somebody likes a person (especially a marginalized group). Fetishization is not when a person in an out group sees a marginalized person as an equal and appreciates them as an equal. It is not dehumanization for somebody to treat a marginalized person like an autonomous person who can make their own decisions.

It leaves a very bad taste in my mouth when people assume that the only reason you can be "into" a marginalized person is that you want to dehumanize or ultimately abuse them. It sends the message that our marginalization is preventing us from "truly" being seen as a person from anybody. You aren't placing the blame on systems of power, you are punishing marginalized people for their marginalization.

#politics #fetishization #i find it ESPECIALLY frusterating when people treat 'dont EVER like [x group]' as activism #i know so many people are hyper-vigilant of fetishization because of how dehumanizing it is and how many are traumatized from it... #...but not every instance of us being treated like an intrinsic equal will be because of fetishization #saw somebody saying that somebody shouldn't be open about liking trans men and that we trans men... #...should 'love ourselves more' when trans men were like 'that's awesome for you i'm glad you're open about it'... #...yes i have met many a chaser who made me feel like a worthless piece of wank material... #...but that was THEIR choice to treat me like that. it was THEIR fault they treated me like that... #...and that is by no means not the fault of Some Guy who sees their fellow man as an intrinsically equal man to his own... #...you can denounce fetishization without implying that marginalized people are broken goods who need to never be touched or seen

[mouseratz]

it's interesting how many transmascs on this site can observe the way that feminism has often been derailed by "mens rights activism", because feminism is seen as a threat to men's rights- women's rights are viewed as in opposition to men's rights & therefore incompatible (for the crime of merely admitting how misogyny has a place in our society)

and yet. feel no need to self reflect on the way transmisogyny is viewed, too, as in opposition to trans men. how trans women's rights are viewed as incompatible with trans men's rights, how transfemmes are pretty constantly attacked for expressing their experiences & struggles because merely saying they exist uniquely is seen as an attack on transmascs, is seen as denying the issues that transmascs have.....somehow, the "what about me?" response is all that matters.

that is why "transandrophobia" gets compared to men's rights activism. that is why it's so connected to transmisogyny (which you're apparently not supposed to admit that people within the trans community are capable of); it is a repeat of gendered issues, there is still a refusal to just try to understand what women are saying. a continued insistence of "my issues are more important than yours" (even though that was never really what was being said in the first place. all that was being asked was to listen, to try to understand....but when a woman says it, complains about something, that's what you feel is implied. for some reason. hm, is there a word for that?)

#take it in mind that i am transmasc also #i just DO think transandrophobia is unfeminist and misunderstands like. how patriarchy Works #even though yes of course transmascs face transphobia. even misogyny when it is assumed we are women! #but thats not really something ive seen transfemmes ever deny. and yet its treated like thats the case. #and why are transfemmes being blamed as the perpetrators of oppression? why? #oh. because of the transphobia & misogyny. funny. #i also used trans men & transmasc and trans women & transfemme as interchangeable here for the sake of argument. #i know theres more nuance in person to person/individual but i think it simplifies it for this specific post so i said it that way. ok? ok.

[scalpelsister]

also this isnt really proper shade at larian or anything and the writing of this game is SAURE good so dont take it this way but.

i sure do wish. Minthara was not villain batted as hard as she was. Her being locked to "evil" runs and being mutually exclusive with several party members. Her being nothing more than a miniboss for your average player- who does not even know shes a potential party member! Her being so chronically unloved by the community because... shes the "evil" companion. Hell, even the amount of people saying frankly really edgy shit about killing her or hurting her completely unprompted lmao. Like I genuinely think shes been pretty unfairly demonized both by the community and by the meta of just like... the game itself because she's really actually..... kind of, dare I say, sweet? if you get to know her. ugh.

#also if i had two nickles. shes sylvanas all over again lads i fear #idk obviously larian handles her character much better than wow ever handled sylvanas but its genuinely like #kind of eerie how similar they are and how hard they where both villain batted considering how evil they actually are #ESP compared to their male counterparts #like i would argue that neither of them are any more evil- and likely are even less evil- than a lot of the men in the same game that #are not villain batted at all. #like every character in warcraft is a war criminal so sylvanas is hardly uniquely evil on that front #and i have a hard time buying that minthara is anymore inherently evil than astarion lol #idk again larian handles trauma much better and it feels... inauthentic to accuse them of not treating minthara well because shes #traumatized. thats def not the argument im making here but it IS really sad to relate to / find catharsis in another traumatized elf #only for her to be. villain batted just like the last one :/ #idk. its just a bummer. #like again thankfully its not a thesis of larians like. karlach and shadowheart and laezel are all beautiful and wonderful examples of like #traumatized women allowed to be angry and validated for being angry #BUT im selfish haha i want my bestie minthara to be able to have a happy ending w the rest of us and i dont want to see her demonized for #idk being a traumatized angry woman like!! it seems outta place for that to be the message but #whatever im rambling ive lost the plot #my post

[craycraybluejay]

Transphobes get off my blog, transandrophobes especially. In fact go hate queers with the evangelical white moms who have coincidentally the same talking points as you about trans men.

#the venn diagram between terfs and baeddels is a circle but no one wants to talk about that #because that would mean no longer using trans men as a silent punching bag the same way yall do with aro/ace people #except its worse because aro/ace people arent necessarilt dysphoric and you go out of your way to misgender/degender trans people #istg transfem baeddels hate me and people like me MORE than cis right wing extremists #which is crazy to me #how are you managing to outhate people whose entire identity is hate #leave trans men alone and stop re-enacting transphobic sexism genuinely what is your problem #insular microcommunities of hate often turn into cults (see: antis) #and you can say we're evil for being trans in the wrong direction but we are literally just living our lives and you are isolating yourself #in a community that encourages transphobia #and no doubt yall treat the Wrong Kind of trans woman or transfem like shit too #literally transphobe central on tumblr #transandrophobia #'im going to bully trans men because theyre the easiest group to bully and get away with it' #how are you different from literally every other person who promotes hate #i just know y'all bullied the 'slow' kid in school and went 'well im autistic or something and not Like That so its fine' #'he deserves it' #but he didn't. and you said he has it easier cause teachers pay special attention to him but he DOESN'T

[worstloki]

Loki surveilling the skyline of New York from the top of Stark Tower and clocking that his favorite paired set of buildings are gone. sad

#everyone wants thor and loki to have visited earth a bunch of times and obviously they wouldn't be too invested in earth politics #but i think the concept of much time passing between visits should be taken advantage of #like what if one of them missed seeing the statue of liberty on their past 3 visits and now that's 'suddenly' a famous historic landmark #Loki like wow I sure hope that restaurant in the Soviet Union is still around! #and Natasha's head whips around so fast like you mean Russia or one of the surrounding countries that used to be part of the USSR #Loki: uhm. well. what's the difference #Natasha: here is a map of the countries does this help #Loki: it does not help but thank you for trying #Thor: what do you mean Rome is gone???? Rome was HUGE????? #Tony: well it's been a few centuries since then Europe is very different now #Thor: (visibly distressed) so the the sweet effeminate men enjoy the streets no more?? #Tony: ...I don't keep track of foreign border laws about that #Thor shows up after 3 years and there's a new president and he's very confused through the entire meeting #brodinsons being so detached from the political scene but being so used to realm politics they come to correct conclusions about things #even though the timeline and how long things stay the same on midgard still messes with them #Loki: at least Egypt is still around #Thor: China also #Brodinsons visiting New Zealand(Aotearoa)/Australia/various British mandate islands before the British formally showed up #returning 2 centuries later and 'the gene pool has altered drastically' 'must've been a war' #well it's either that or since Asgard seems spared of colorism they treat all humans as the same and don't notice. which might be worse #on the colonisation and liberation side of things

[solradguy]

The hell's up with all these anti-trans men/masc memes lately because I'm getting real sick of it real quick. It's not cute and it was never funny.

#textpost #This site's always been weird about trans men and it feels like it's gotten significantly worse lately #It's bad enough trans men are constantly belittled by the rest of the LGBT community I don't need to see that shit on here too #'Why would anyone ever want to be a man' is one I've been seeing a lot. Think before saying something that stupid #I've been wanting to make a post about this for a while now but haven't because I feel like it's swinging a bat at a hornet's nest #Which in itself is completely stupid. I shouldn't feel like that addressing these issues yet here we are #Damn near every single time I've seen a trans man on here mention that maybe we're being treated unfairly they get laughed at #Or told to suck it up or that we've got 'cis male privilege' or something. Do these people forget that we're TRANS?? #I WISH the government saw me as a cis man but they don't #This is NOT a trans men vs trans women suffering olympics thing like some people seem determined to make it out to be #Every trans identity and trans person is affected by transphobic laws and people. We're in this shit together #And belittling trans men and ignoring us when we speak up about issues will only drive a wedge in the trans community #When we're divided we're weaker and that's how the transphobes get what they want #Anyway I'm sick of anti-trans men memes.

[antiterf]

Can we please stop making fun of the looks of trans people within the damn trans community? Can we stop telling trans men that testosterone turns us into the ugliest things on Earth and trans women that they're nothing if they don't uphold the incredibly high standard of femininity? Can we stop holding enby people up to a scale depending on their agab to see if their gender expression is Correct Enough to be trans enough?

Can we stop shitting on fat trans people?

Please? It's not like the cis people are going to do it for us, and I'm tired of being treated like my body is barely even tolerable and much less something to be celebrated.

#sorry someone threw a video on my dash that had a bunch of comments about how T makes you ugly #im so sick of it #I know im hot and I know other trans men are hot #but I'm so fucking tired of T being treated like itll turn us into deadpool or some shit #notaterftip #not sarcasm

[eldritch-thrumming]

i saw that review on letterboxd of all the rhetorical questions for barbie and like… the more i think abt it, the more i’m certain that the review’s author fundamentally misunderstood the film. barbie land is not a utopia in the way that adults would think abt a utopia, like the author seems to imply… barbie land is canonically shaped by little girls playing with their dolls. that’s why we see a supreme court. thats why there are nobel prizes and authors and lawyers (also because that’s how the toys are marketed… would there be a mermaid in ur utopia??? there would be in mine!). that’s why barbie and ken don’t necessarily know what a boyfriend and girlfriend are “meant” to do (not to mention that the author’s assumption that sex is fundamental to a romantic relationship is problematic at best). that’s why barbie is indifferent to ken (i personally had the life size barbie and my sister had the barbie dream house—we had the working woman barbie game, i had the genie barbie gameboy game, we had countless barbie dolls; we didn’t own a single ken doll lol). barbie land is a world created by and for little girls as they play with their dolls (she says in a comment on the original post “don’t little girls play with their dolls in a sexual way?” and yeah, sure, some do. but i didn’t and i’m sure there are others who didn’t… just like there are some girls who completely mutilated their own dolls and made them into horrifying creatures)… that’s why stereotypical barbie starts having an existential crisis—because a grown woman begins to play with her doll again and starts reshaping barbie land… we, as the audience, are meant to understand this as an outlier to how barbie land is canonically created. the author also calls ken “crass” and “slovenly”… maybe after he builds the patriarchy in barbie land he becomes “crass” but i wouldn’t call him slovenly at any point in the film (i suppose this is just semantics tho).

also, please stop saying that barbie land is a reversal of the real world. it isn’t, even if that may have been the filmmakers intentions. again, barbie is indifferent to ken. she does not abuse him, she does not treat him like he exists to service her by cooking or cleaning or providing other favors for her… barbie does not oppress ken in the way that men oppress women in the real world (we have no idea if he owns property or where he lives and she doesn’t seem to particularly care—extremely different from the fact that women couldn’t have their own bank accounts or credit cards, get a mortgage on their own or divorce their husbands through no fault divorce until the second half of the 20th century in the us… within a lot of our mothers and grandmothers lifetimes!!!!) and it is a complete disservice to conflate or equate the two. we actually see barbie drawing clear boundaries around her time and space in regards to ken—this is not a reversal of misogyny as women and girls experience it in the real world, by any stretch of the imagination.

is the film perfect or revolutionary or radical? of course not. it was produced by major studios and corporations in hollywood. of course the barbie movie is a fucking commercial for barbie, like… to expect anything different is just extremely dumb on your part if u saw the trailer, saw the marketing, saw the interviews, bought a ticket, and sat ur ass in the theater, like be fuckin serious. but don’t do women and girls a disservice by discrediting the world and thoughts and ideas it could open up for them by seeing themselves be taken seriously on screen in a major summer blockbuster with stupid fucking questions because u want to feel superior to everyone else because YOU and ONLY YOU see through the capitalist marketing of lipstick pop girlboss feminism (especially when juxtaposed with the way the female characters are treated in oppenheimer, which we cannot help but compare to the barbie film with the viral marketing of barbenheimer).

#i had to block a bunch of people so their barbie takes would stop showing up in my for you tab lol #i just wanna read steddie fanfic and reblog cute barbie gifs not see ur lame ass takes abt how barbie is evidence that both patriarchies #AND matriarchies are bad #there is not a society on earth where women treat men the way women have treated women for millennia… even the matriarchies smh #the way men have treated women*** literal smh!!!! #barbie spoilers #tagging this as barbie spoilers but not using the barbie tag bevause i don’t want to get into all that tbh #i’m just frustrated… esp as someone who teaches film #every time a female led film comes out we have to have these same convos over and over #let’s talk abt how oppenheimer glorifies the atomic bomb and doesn’t acknowledge the indigenous populations that the bomb was tested on!!!! #let’s talk abt how oppenheimer doesn’t even acknowledge the japanese experience of the bomb!!!! bevause oppenheimer is the real victim #let’s talk abt how christopher nolan repeatedly uses the trope of mentally ill suffering crazy woman to propel his male protagonists story!! #he’s just so sad :( that he killed thousands of ppl :( #anyways i’m over it lol #ok wait making this non rebloggable bevaude i don’t wanna argue w anyone i literally jus wanna say my piece into a void 🙏

[femmesandhoney]

it's so insane that even men who do try to understand female oppression and what we go through have trouble grasping it without having men as a reference point. a man in my class after we watched barbie mentioned how it helped him understand what it's like to be oppressed and what women go through, after having taken a whole class about women in politics, reading a whole textbook on ways women are oppressed, and listening to the majority female class speak about our personal experiences for an entire semester. and he thinks the barbie movie is the most helpful way to understand female oppression.

#like its mindboggling wdym men cannot empathize or understand us by just listening to our experiences and our words and seeing how we're #treated?? #you NEED to see urselves hypothetically being 'oppressed' to really understand what women face?? really!?

[gayvampyr]

asexuals will literally get assaulted, beaten, correctively raped, forced into medical and/or psychological conversion therapy, and driven to suicide, and y’all will STILL have the audacity to say that “aphobia isn’t real”. you think the heterosexuals give us a free pass because we’re not actively having gay sex? no, because we look queer, we sound queer, we ARE queer for not being heterosexual. the lack of interest in the opposite sex is literally one of the blueprints for queerness. aces get bullied for some of the same reasons lesbians and gay men do — for not being attracted to the opposite gender. i remember being in school and especially church and being treated like an outcast, a freak, a queer and a dyke, because i didn’t like boys and i made no effort to date them. im an asexual, and im a lesbian, and both of those things made me a pariah. no non-hetero is exempt from queerphobia and suffering at the hands of straight people and im sick of the erasure

#im so sick of this shit #i hate all of you #i can’t count how many times men have tried to ‘fix’ me or doctors have told me there’s something wrong with me #that im just a flaw in human evolution and it’s in our *nature* to want sex because of procreation #that i need to be treated chemically to fix my broken brain #the same shit that gay and trans and bi people hear because we are the same #we are different but we are the same #a homophobe does not discern if you’re ace or gay or bi because no matter what you are wrong. an abomination. a sinner #and no amount of distance you put between us will change that #i’ve tried to kill myself far too many times to put up with this bullshit #acephobia #aphobia #rape tw #conversion therapy #r/pe tw

[uncanny-tranny]

Do you believe in transandrophobia

I mean, I talk at length about being a trans man and the intersections of my trans manhood and interacting in a world which often doesn't want people like me to exist, so even if I don't really call my experiences that, maybe you might? I generally support people calling their experiences with oppression how they see it, which is why some trans men say they experience misogyny and some don't. Neither are "more correct" because we almost all experience transphobia, misogyny, and everything else slightly differently.

At the end of the day, trans liberation must happen with all of us no matter what their experience is. I've seen so much "discourse" surrounding terms like these when at the end of the day, we're still being oppressed no matter what we call our experiences. I think it's okay for people to label their experiences as they see fit, but I don't think that's the end-all-be-all. I guess my sole focal point is trans liberation before debating about what terms we have to use.

I always find asks like this to be very odd, mostly because I don't know what the context behind this is or why it's asked. If you want a more direct answer to my political or philosophical views, I really would at least like more details as to what inspired questions like these so I can clarify, expand, or discuss specific points.

#ask #anon #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #blog boundaries #(mostly for the last paragraph) #i think this ask is especially odd to me because i talk so often about being a trans man and what my experiences are #and also because 'believe in' is weird to me #like i follow a lot of other trans men* as well and other trans people who talk at length about trans lib and how they fit in with that #i think being able to engage with the idea that we must have each other's backs even if we aren't fond of each other is important #YES you're going to come across trans people you don't like or who use language for themselves you don't like... #...but how you treat them is more important. do you sacrifice them or do you include them in trans liberation? #are there trans people who you just don't like so you do your best to exclude them from trans liberation? #when i talk about trans liberation i don't mean that you have to like all trans people #hell *i* don't like all trans people. we're flawed and we can be plain TERRIBLE. but i don't exclude them from trans lib #not liking (and hating) people is part of the human condition 👍

[stardust-falling]

There is never an excuse to not use someone’s preferred name and pronouns. Unless they’re closeted around some people and ask you not to, there is literally no good reason to not just refer to them how they want to be. No one is being protected when you intentionally misgender a trans person, or when you insist on using a deadname— even if you “don’t agree” with the existence of trans people, or think that gender identity shouldn’t be treated the way it is in whatever way. You’re not standing up for yourself and you’re not standing up for others— you’re just being an asshole.

If your friend’s legal name was Katherine, and she told you “please don’t call me Katherine, I have negative associations with that name, call me Kathy instead,” then would you still insist on calling her Katherine because you don’t think it makes sense to use another name, even though you know it causes her significant emotional distress?

Intentionally deadnaming and misgendering someone because “it doesn’t make sense” or “you don’t agree” makes you just as much of an asshole as that. Changing the language you use to refer to someone hurts no one and helps them immensely. Intentionally misgendering someone just makes you look like an asshole and, quite frankly, stupid as well.

If you want to have an actual debate about the ethics of trans healthcare or whatever, the least you can do is actually respect your opponents. Fundamentally, respect for one another is key to proper debating. But no, you don’t want a debate, you just want to beat people down.

#caught a glimpse of some terf bs #like #ffs you can argue all you want about things you feel are genuinely a threat to your safety #like I get that!! a lot of those thoughts and fears are coming from trauma!! #and it’s not easy to unlearn! #I would be a lot more sympathetic though if there wasn’t the constant use of dehumanizing language and blatant lack of care #but well that’s just how it is #anyway even if there WAS a legitimate concern #refusing to refer to someone the way they’re comfortable with doesn’t have anything to do with it #even if there IS concern to be had over puberty blockers/HRT for minors/etc #misgendering a trans kid isn’t protecting them #even if said kid DOES decide they’re cis later on doesn’t make it okay to refuse to acknowledge their current identity #and if you want to claim you speak for/care about those you see in your mind as ‘women’ (afab people overall) #then DON’T FURTHER ENDANGER TRANS MEN BY CALLING THEM WOMEN/BEHAVING THE SAME WAY AS THE ABUSIVE #TRANSPHOBIC FAMILY MEMBERS OR PEERS WHO DRIVE TRANS MEN TO SUICIDE!!! #respect people’s right to self determination #learn to treat trans people with respect (by referring to them the way they ask you to at the minimum) #THEN try having a debate #but it IS NOT A DEBATE if you’re just punching down #transgender #transphobia