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nctseren · 3 years

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❝ For a long time, love was unattainable for her. She wrote, sang and dreamed about it, but she had never been truly in love.

The truth is that, and although she denies it, Kang Sohee is a hopeless romantic and she always has been. She often dreamed of meeting the right person and doing everything right so that love would last... and not fade like her parents' love.

However, love is strange and it does not come easy. She has learned that you can meet thousands of people and yet none of them will make you feel the things that you are supposed to feel.

She has also learned that you can mistake love. And as much as it hurts and breaks your soul, there are people you were born to love, and there are others you were not.

So, Seren doesn't have much experience in romance. And she's slowly learning that love and infatuation are two different things, that it doesn't have to hurt, that it should make you feel happy, and that you don't go looking for the right person, because eventually fate brings you together. ❞

⟶crush list

—WANG YONG

❝ I'm too shy to tell you how I feel.

So I'll hide behind timid smiles and soft hellos.

I'm afraid if I ask you: "what do you think of me? " your reply will be "I don't" ❞

duration of crush: 2014 — 2015

relationship: close friends, one side crush

current status: they haven't spoken in a long time but she still cares for him

their things: practicing together, sharing chocolates, him giving her books and then the next week sharing opinions about them, eating together all the time

playlist: kid in love by shawn mendes & u smile by justin bieber

Wang Yong came to SM Entertainment in late 2012 and Lee Taeyong quickly took care of him under his wing. He was quite a popular trainee, not only because of his looks, but also because of his great talent for dancing, despite his young age. He was to the younger ones what Kang Seulgi was to Sohee.

Wang Yong was a sweet guy, it was inevitable for girls not to have a crush on him, and anyone in his place would take advantage of it, but not him. He was focused on doing what he had to do: training hard. That's the reason why his only friends for a long time were only Taeyong and Hansol.

Kang Sohee (long before she was known as Seren) officially met him in late 2013, after watching him practice. They did not become friends right away, since it was not easy for him to open up to other people. However, when she became close to Taeyong, they inevitably had to become friends. And then they connected thanks to dancing, something they were both passionate about. They went from being acquaintances to partners who practiced together to friends. Then it was not only Wong Yong, Lee Taeyong and Ji Hansol, now it was also Kang Sohee.

2014 was a rough year for her, starting from the loss of her grandparents to learning that she was not going to debut with Red Velvet. It was the most difficult year for her in all that time locked up, but her friends were with her. And he didn't go unnoticed, no matter how hard he tried. He always carried an extra portion of food for her, left her books that he thought she would like and always pretended not to learn the choreography so that she could teach him and in that way distract her mind by doing what she likes the most.

It really wasn't difficult to like Wang Yong, he was sweet and a good boy. Soon she found herself thinking that she really liked the way he wrinkled his nose when he laughed, or how his eyes sparkled when someone complimented him and, most of all, the way he tilted his head when he was confused. And then every time he looked at her she felt something in her stomach (and no, she had thought the first time she felt it, it can't be diarrhea), her cheeks would blush and it was difficult for her to keep look at him.

He was her crush for a few months and suddenly their interactions were shy smiles and sharing chocolates. Until he was no longer making her feel like she was flying. He meant a lot to her because not only he was her first butterflies in her stomach, he was also one of her close friends and one of the most supportive.

Sometimes she still thinks about him, what is he doing? how is he doing? what it would have been like if he had debuted in NCT instead of her? SM Entertainment did not treat him well, apparently his voice was not good enough, in the future they had told him. All she knows is that he returned to his home in China, and all she hopes is that he's truly happy.

—MARK LEE

❝ There's a boy I like.

He smiles so bright and my heart can't take it.

There's a boy I like.

We both love the same things.

There's a boy I like.

I think about him all the time.

There's a boy I like.

He's my best friend. ❞

duration of crush: 2017 — early 2018

relationship: bandmates, best friends, crush

current status: bandmates, best friends, partners in crime

their things: holding hands, sharing songs, singing, rapping, dancing together, telling jokes, listening to music, trying to teach her basketball, teaching him to play futboll soccer, doing karaoke

playlist: the one that got away by katy perry & walk you home by nct dream & everything has changed by taylor swift & catching feelings by justin bieber & whenever you are by 5sos

For a long time, Mark was the closest thing to a best friend that she had. They practically grew up together (and are still growing). They wouldn't exactly tell each other everything, but they did trust each other. And every day, especially when they missed home, they would get together to tell their funniest childhood stories, and then listen to music for the rest of the time, enjoying each other's company.

Maybe that's what made her have feelings for him. Maybe it was the inside jokes, the laughs, the songs, maybe it was all together.

It was different, of course. It didn't feel at all like her first crush. No, it was definitely stronger, because they were Mark and Seren — everyone was talking about Mark and Seren: NCT's 99 line, best friends.

Liking Mark was a fresh feeling, no discomfort, no obvious blushes, no big butterflies either. No, liking Mark was being at peace. Being comfortable in his presence, hearing him sing, sharing smiles, doing mischief together, it all felt too good... almost like she was born for it.

And maybe she was born to love Mark, but in another life. Because on this one Mark Lee and Kang Sohee were just best friends. And although at nights she sometimes dreamed of his eyes, the same ones that hold thousands of stars, in the morning she reminded herself that nothing could change the friendship they had.

That's one of the reasons why she didn't do anything about it, that and because she didn't want to ruin all their efforts just for a crush.

It was difficult for her, because months passed and she kept thinking about him. Until eventually she stopped seeing him in a romantic way, his hugs stopped making her feel things (things you're not supposed to feel for a friend) and at night his eyes and laughter stopped appearing.

Now that time has passed, she realizes that staying best friends with him is a hundred times better than a possible relationship with him. And she prays, Oh, she prays that Mark Lee's future partner can love and appreciate him as much as he deserves... As much as she could have.

⟶dating list

—MOONBIN

❝ I enjoy our time together. And your laugh, your voice, your kisses. I enjoy you.

We may not be in love and that's okay for us.

Because what matters right now is that we're both having fun. ❞

public knowledge: private (only friends)

duration of relationship: march 2018 — april 2018

relationship: fling

current status: friends

their things: hanging out with friends, kisses, supporting each other, hugs

playlist: we are young by fun feat janelle monaé & locked out of heaven by bruno mars

They met at some awards and immediately they knew there was attraction, so they exchanged phone numbers and soon found themselves talking every single day.

They both knew what it was and what they wanted, to be young and have fun.

Those two months sometimes felt like an eternity, because they genuinely had a good time together. There was always fun, affection and, most importantly, sincerity.

They both knew it was meant to be over, so they enjoyed it.

Having fun with Moonbin felt like riding the drop tower: they weren't afraid of it, they just felt the adrenaline and fun you feel being up there in the air. But just as fast it goes up, it also goes down. And even though in the end you seem to want more, you know enough was enough.

—WOOSEOK

❝ I loved you as Icarus loved the sun — too close, too much. ❞

public knowledge: private for three months until their members found out

duration of relationship: july 2018 — january 2019

relationship: kind of dated, never really had a "tittle"

current status: acquaintances, they don't really talk anymore

their things: secret dates, midnight calls, back hugs, kisses

playlist: sweet creature by harry styles & the scientist by coldplay & the end of love by florence + the machine & it will rain by bruno mars

Kang Sohee and Jung Wooseok were never in love, but they might as well have been.

They met in mid-2018 thanks to a close friend, and the physical attraction was so immense that without thinking they both decided to give it a try. It was all very fast, but the result had been good. They were something, no tittle, yet they didn't care because they were okay with that.

Their relationship was like trying a new dish, they didn't know what to expect: they didn't know if it would be sweet or salty, everything was so different. But they had liked it. They spent a good time together, sometimes hiding from their members, it was a little secret that only the two of them knew.

They loved what they had. Midnight calls, secret dates, just sneaking around their members backs like that. It was exciting and fun. They were young people enjoying themselves.

Until it became real. Too real.

Suddenly they weren't just missing each other's presence, but they craved for their touch and kisses.

It was almost like an obsession. Every time they were together they felt intoxicated. They needed more, they wanted more.

And that wasn't healthy nor they where ready for that.

So, because they cared about each other, they put a stop to it. God knows that if they had stayed together, they would have burned.

—THE8

❝ The Ego asked:

'What is Love? It's too big of a word for me. I don't understand it at times.'

The Soul replied:

'If you understand Kindness

If you understand Respect

If you understand Acceptance

Then you will understand Love.' ❞

public knowledge: private (only members and close friends)

duration of relationship: december 2019 — present

relationship: acquaintances to friends to lovers

current status: in love, best friends

their things: nose, forehead and cheek kisses, showing her his art, painting together, taking pictures, listening to music, dedicating songs, slow dancing, hype man! hype woman!, writing songs about each other, domestic dates

playlist: love someone by lukas graham & ily by the rose & common by zayn & have you ever been in love? by the ivy & love somebody like you by joan & sunday morning by maroon 5 & natural by zayn

Falling for Xu Minghao was like breathing, so natural, so effortless, without realizing it.

They met in 2018 and for a year they were just acquaintances: their bandmate's friend. There were few interactions, maybe greetings and a few smiles. But when she has a very persistent Boo Seungkwan as her best friend, it was only a matter of time before she eventually became friends with the rest of them.

Being friends with Minghao is yellow, like observing the sunset. It's relaxing, enthusiastic, supportive, positivity, happiness...

It was an unexpected friendship but suddenly they were sharing songs, painting together and hanging out a lot more than with their original friends. Soft laughs, little jokes, looks full of adoration — it was so obvious that there was something there, they could feel it and everyone could see it. And still it took almost a year for them to take the risk. Was it really mutual or were they just imagining it?

He was the first to take the step, because even if it was all in his head at least he would be at peace knowing that he tried and didn't just let her go.

It was silly, really, how much they wanted to be together and how much they doubted.

Loving Minghao is comforting, honest, understanding, compassion, teamwork, sometimes overwhelming, and a new feeling that completely scares her because she has never been in love or in a serious relationship, yet she is sure of one thing: discovering those feelings with him was her best decision.

#sh.sohao #kpop added member #kpop addition #kpop female addition #kpop oc #nct 127 added member #nct 127 addition #nct 22nd member #nct 24th member #nct added member #kpop female idol #nct addition #nct oc #nct au #kpop female member

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whatiwillsay · 3 years

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what really inspired the babe music video though...

So if you’ve read my babe mv analysis you know it’s one of the world’s loudest and best gaylor proofs in existence. What I want to explore here however is why 5-6 years after Swiftgron was over, is Taylor digging up the grave another time to drag her ex.

Seriously stop and think about it. Why on God’s gay earth did Taylor decide to Swiftgron her ass off in 2018. When she’s supposedly moved on to the London Lover and happy? The simplest explanation is that Babe is about Dianna so Taylor made sure people knew that. And hey that’s completely possible.

However it’s Christmas and I’m feeling generous so buckle up for some crack and reaching. (read: this is mostly a joke post so don’t come for my neck for playing around and making it. if you don’t like it don’t read✌️)

What if Taylor painting herself as the desperate other woman in this music video all about Dianna has a meaning further than it just worked out like that? What if Dianna was cheating on Winston with Taylor in a late stage illicit Swiftgron affair 👀👀👀???? (no I don’t think IA is about dianna, she doesn’t take runs)

Taylor said herself that “the narrative is never truly over” about her and Dianna so right after she and Karlie broke up why wouldn’t we expect a Swiftgron fling:

vimeo

Babe was released in late spring of 2018 so let’s try and pin down when this Swiftgron tomfoolery could have taken place...

We know Dianna was in London at the beginning of 2017 (with Carey Mulligan no less, a friend of Taylor’s!)

Thanks to @swiftiesleuth‘s (who is probably going to make fun of me for this theory but THAT’S FINE W ME) realistic Kaylor Timeline we know Taylor was hiding out in London at this point in time as well:

3 January 2017 - Taylor diaries that she’s “essentially based in London” and that “we have been together and no one has found out for three months.” (This could be three months with Joe from September 28 OR three months from Tily’s Halloween party. Either way, not Karlie).

8 January 2017 - Taylor and Zayn film the I Don’t Wanna Live Forever MV in London.

So the question is, can we build a theory about Swiftgron having a late stage affair simply because they were in the same city at the same time? Well if Kaylors can claim Kaylor got engaged solely because Taylor was not papped while Karlie went on vacation then I say YES! Tis the damn season!!!

Let’s look at social media clues. Dianna seemed to be in on Rep promo. You want proof? Well what else could she have meant when she posted a photo captioned “please don’t eat the daisies” a few months after the London affair. We know Karlie called Taylor daisy so perhaps social media criminal mastermind Dianna “queen of shade” Agron was trying to humiliate Karlie because Karlie smirked at her at that fashion show in 2015:

Emboldened by her own crimes she then flexed her insider knowledge of Rep promo by posting video of her singing on instagram with the caption “Zombie Love” a mere three days before Taylor appeared in the LWYMMD music video dressed as a zombie in the OOTW (a song about Dianna) dress. Why is Taylor a zombie in specific outfit? Because Swiftgron is back from the dead of course:

Not only that but in the music video she buries the Taylor in the met gala dress from 2014. She attended that met gala with Karlie. RIP KAYLOR LONG LIVE SWIFTGRON!??!?

Now positively DRUNK with power, Dianna seems to stalk Karlie to an event only to tauntingly call her goooeeoeoeooueuueugoussssssss to her face, the queen of manipulation and psychological warfare has struck again!!! This happens in Feb 2018 a mere matter of weeks before babe is dropped as a single.

We of course know Dianna admits to her own commitment issues on instagram two days before Babe drops but what if she is referencing her commitment issues not with Taylor but with her husband Winston because she is cheating on him with Taylor at this point in time or did some time in 2017???

Taylor releases babe and then later the music video seeming to be screaming to the whole world that yes she is cucking Winston Marshall and she wants you, your mom, and your cat to know about it!

Dianna voices her support of this by posting this to her IG stories at the end of May:

We know Taylor’s symbol was a snake during the rep era and she couldn’t trust just about anyone but, Dianna was letting her know to trust in her!!!

I’ve always suspected DBATC is a Swiftgron song due to the lyrics “i look through the windows of This Love, even though we boarded them up” -that references the flood that happened in Clean that taylor says she and the London Lover (or Karlie) boarded up the windows of after the storm in CIWYW.

I see you everywhere The only thing we share Is this small town

What if “i see you everywhere” is literal? because they’re sneaking around and actually seeing one another in a literal since?

My heart, my hips, my body, my love Trying to find a part of me that you didn't touch

Sounds like an affair to me!!!

When she says “the morning comes and you’re not my baby” she’s saying speaking present day because Dianna is still married to Winston.

and while Dianna seems to love rubbing Karlie’s face in it, like the evil villain we all know she is, Taylor likewise seems to like to rub Winston’s cuck status in his face in it since she adds a song he wrote about Dianna to her me! playlist in June of 2019:

look at the other songs she taunts him with “glad he’s gone”, “just friends”, “hey, ma”, “open my mouth”!! she’s sick!!!

Winston has had enough of this and he and Dianna split in July of 2019 though it doesn’t go public for a year.

To add insult to injury (and to personally attack tumblr kaylors all over the world) Taylor performs false god at SNL, a song she wrote about her and Dianna’s late stage affair with Dianna in attendance.

So in summation, perhaps Taylor is referencing Dianna so much recently because they hooked up more recently than 2013 and that’s why Taylor paints herself as the other woman in the Babe mv and has become obsessed with adultery lately. Because maybe Dianna was cheating on Winston with her 😌😌😌.

#merry christmas #this is mostly a joke #swiftgron #gaylor swift

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blooming5th · 4 years

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated? YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO.

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon? — Pretty strictly, I think? I mean... I do always try my best to stick to canon events because although I am a big fan of AUs, I absolutely suck at writing canon-divergent characters. I also look out for possible dialectisms that come from Hinamori & put some work towards Hinamori’s personal development; all of this according to whatever has happened to her in canon / is shown by her in canon.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — There’s an entire world waiting beyond Hinamori’s pretty face? She’s still pretty much just a baby when in comparison to many other Lieutenants (being the second youngest, right after lil Yachiru), which makes her super innocent and funny. She’s also very upbeat, easy-going, and friendly! She’s such a devoted Lieutenant and honestly a great worker? Super strong with her kido spells, too! A great student?! A very, very good girl, honestly! She’s the greatest person you will ever meet, I swear to GOD !!

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — Most of the people, from what I can perceive from reading different opinions and have read through my years in Bleach forums and such, is that she’s pretty mentally weak. Hinamori seems to be extremely unbalanced and the previously mentioned devotion actually becomes... a weakness? Although I don’t agree with it ( mostly because I do believe her devotion towards Aizen was induced and not... something natural ), I can understand what people mean by this. Also, she mostly uses magic spells and keeps herself at a certain distance when in combat;; which people might easily perceive as her being weak when it’s just... her fighting style and body stature.

What inspired you to rp your muse? — I have roleplayed Hinamori for over 6 years now? almost 7, actually. I made this blog in 2014, however, I was supposed to be writing Hitsugaya. I ended up changing my entire blog’s aesthetics, not even a week later, to match Hinamori and decided to try her out. Why? Well... long story short... the fandom was full of Hitsugaya blogs. asjhdfasjdhfg I didn’t want simply be just one more in the ocean of amazing Hitsugaya writers;; so I decided to write someone who gave me access to heavy development ( because there was so little content back then ) and fun times ! lil peach was the obvious answer!

What keeps your inspiration going? — Most of the time its music? Whenever I decide to focus on an rp blog, I create a go-to playlist that helps me channel the muse’s traits and helps me write with more ease! That... and re-reading manga pages that might make me come up with headcanons, which I, later, always tend to apply to threads. Oh yeah, uh... LMAO! How could I forget? Talking to friends and discussing things with them, also often lets my creativity soar and helps me channel my muse’s persona. uwu

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO.

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO.

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO.

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal? — Honestly, yes? I am a person that needs to receive constant criticism & is very open about it, too. I often find myself asking for criticism & find myself craving for bigger improvement.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character? — HELLS TO THE YES !! But then again... who doesn’t? It makes me so so happy whenever I receive a question or a simple message that might help me develop Hinamori’s character traits or behaviours? I love my girl so much;; knowing that others want me to gush about her amazingness & make her grow even more is nothing but an honour to me, tbh.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? — Well... yeah? But not in a bad way, of course! I absolutely love discussing headcanons and getting different points of view from things ( such as headcanons, in this specific topic ) so I can center myself and find a clearer way to analyze things! Discussing headcanons is dope, man!

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? — This is going to be a pretty short response cause ;; I don’t care? I’m not here to really... please others. I’m here to have fun for my own self and to enjoy writing with other amazing fellas. Ain’t nobody gonna rain on my parade with unnecessary negativity;;

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? — I haven’t ever seen many people hate Hinamori’s character? However, I do have seen quite the few people disregard her as the important character she is, or reduce her to a level that doesn’t... entirely fit the reason why she was created. Still, it’s none of my business. I don’t let it get to me or feel... the need to do anything about it? Or even talk about it? I can’t really change people’s views, so I often would just rather love my baby peach and let others do as they please.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? — ABSOLUTELY? It’s even part of my rules like ;; please tell me if you ever find a grammatical error ANYWHERE in my blog. English isn’t my mother tongue and thus it can be very difficult for me to keep up with fancy writing while also sticking to correct grammar? idk if this makes sense but... yknow.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun? — I do think I am very easy going kind of fella? Sometimes it takes me forever go get to messages ( both through discord & IMS ), but I think that’s because lately I’ve been feeling super emotionally drained ;; I haven’t been out of my goddamn house for three months and I sincerely miss seeing faces that aren’t my parents. I did take a drive the other day but... sobs... it left such a bittersweet taste. ANYWAY !! Yes. I’m very easy going and talkative. Also a big, big enthusiastic? And positivist! I am someone who always prefers to stick to the bright side of life and ignore anything that might be the least problematic so yeah ~ I am uwu. Come meet me. I’m cool. I swear.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by: @hirako5hinji ( aka the greatest taichō ever. uwu go to bed harder next time, Anna. ♡ ) Tagging: ANYONE WHO WANTS TO DO IT !! just steal it from me. be gay. do crimes.

#🌺 ✖ ✖ 𝕗𝕚𝕗𝕥𝕙'𝕤 𝕡𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕙 — ♡ ic challenges //#🌺 ✖ ✖ 𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕔𝕚𝕒𝕟'𝕤 𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖 — ♡ ooc challenges //#( this was so much fuuuuuuuuuuuuun omg I'm cryin #but it took me forever to get to ?? so OOF )

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pastelastronomy24 · 6 years

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Laid Up— Erik Killmonger x Plus Size! Poc Reader

Part 2

Warnings: Honestly y’all this probably still ain’t shit but it’s what y’all wanted🤷🏾‍♀️; Erik is still THAT nigga; Canes

One thing that everyone and their mama knew about Erik Stevens was that he was astonishingly good at making promises he couldn’t keep. He always got away with it because well, he could pierce the souls (and punanis) of anyone he wanted, and he damn well knew that. “Yeah baby I’ll text you later tonight” and “I swear you not just a one time pipe Ma” and of course “I’ll pick you up later today” we’re his most popular fuck nigga phrases that he never followed up on. “Damn he really was hitting it like I was his forever and shit” was the most popular response.

You didn’t expect him to come pick you up and take you to Canes, you suspected that the extra money he gave you was because he definitely wasn’t going to come back. After all, you’d never really talked to this nigga for more than five seconds until a couple of hours ago. Why would he switch up just because you slayed his hair? You’d been on your phone, scrolling through black twitter when you heard a knock on your door. You didn’t think much of it because staying at your parents house for a couple of weeks you noticed that your mom really loved to order weird shit off of amazon. However as you opened the door, half paying attention phone in hand and head down expecting to see a package, you were greeted to fresh black and blue J’s. You froze and your eyes trailed up to see THAT nigga smirking at your door.

“Why you look shocked to see me Ma? I told you I was gonna pull up” he was cheesing as if he really said something clever and you scoffed. “Nigga you and I both know you’ve never kept an ‘I’m gonna pull up’ promise in your life. I most definitely was not ready for you to pull up.” He laughed and again it was like his laugh commanded the whole room. “Can’t a nigga try new things?” He was definitely trying to play games with you as he said this and immediately looked you up and down while biting his lip and caressing his beard. Your eyes focused on his entirety too sexy lips and you mumbled out something along the lines of “Come in”.

He looked around your house acting as if he was interested in the old pictures on your wall when you told him you were going to get dressed. “But you gon’ let me come with you?” He asked trying to be sly but it absolutely didn’t work. “No sit your bum ass down fool I’ll be back in 5 minutes” you smacked your teeth and walked towards your room. As you walked away you could hear Erik say “That attitude needs to get piped out of you” and you rolled your eyes trying to not think about Erik piping you senseless.

You changed out of your grey sweats into some black jean shorts and a yellow BROCKHAMPTON shirt. You slid on your converse and walked outside. “Damn it really did only take 5 minutes.” Erik nodded in approval and did a dramatic hand gesture towards the door. “Bringeth your fluffy ass on princess.” He said in a weird accent that you were sure was his awful attempt at being British. Despite your best efforts not to, you chuckled and told him to walk his goofy ass to the car.

The car ride was going well, he had some unsurprisingly good music tastes and as you rode to Canes, you found yourselves reminiscing about old summer bops like Kirko Bangz ‘Drink In My Cup’ and Wales ‘Lotus Flower Bomb’. You started to talk about that feeling of when a song comes on and then suddenly you get flashbacks of sitting at a cook out, or just that weird surge of memories and he jumped in excitement claiming that he’d been experiencing that a lot lately since he’d been home. Some time during the car ride Erik’s hand found itself on your thigh and you found yourself not calling him a “hoe ass nigga” or telling him to move his hand, and it was left unspoken in the car as you both continued talking about Life and music.

You arrived at Canes and got out the car. “You wanna eat here or you just want me to order and drop you off at your crib?” He crinkled his eyebrows at you expectantly. Something (the logical part inside of you) screamed at you, urging you to tell him to order and go, but the nonsensical side of you said “We can just chill here and eat..... if that’s okay with you.” He smirked and opened the door to the restaurant. “After you princess.” He said and you could feel the smugness oozing off of him in waves at the fact that you didn’t shoot him down. Walking in you told him to order you a 3 piece box to which he responded “Nah you gettin the 4, you know your ass did not come here for just a 3 piece, that shit don’t fill me up.” You found yourself rolling your eyes at Erik for the 29th time and just said okay.

When you finally got your food, time seemed to pass slowly with Erik. You were more focused on his in depth analysis of how the BET awards hadn’t been good since 2014 and how he somehow made this seem like a fucking Thesis paper than you were on your chicken. “I don’t know man, 2Chainz hasn’t been poppin since then and it’s a little suspect that August Alsina disappeared after then is all I’m saying” he said raising his arms up in a type of “thats none of my business” way. “Yeah I get what you mean. FED’s watchin was my shit. I don’t know it’s like the awards got over hyped and the only good thing since then has been the New Edition movie.” That got him really hype as you guys spent 20 minutes talking about how everything about the cast and the movie itself was black excellence. The night went on a lot like that and when you both had finally finished your chicken you decided to go, throwing your food away and continuing your conversation outside.

“OH! I forgot to mention, please please pleeease don’t forget to lay your edges and put a durag on every night or you’ll mess up your hair. And put some oil in your scalp so you don’t get dandruff or anything, it’ll ruin the look.” Erik chuckled and came closer to you, invading your 2 feet of personal space. He placed his thumb on your cheek and really looked at you. His eyes burrowed into yours and everything felt entirely too intense and too real. “Thanks for the tips Ma, expect me to pull up in two weeks for a touch up.” He said it so close to you that his breath was in your face and you could see every little detail of his face. The light glow from the street lights made his face look ethereal and almost unreal. “Yeah whatever nigga. I charge more each visit.” His smile got impossibly larger as he laughed again. “Your little fluffy ass is cute, even with this attitude you got princess.” Oh how you wish you were as bold as the nigga standing in front of you. Maybe it would make the pounding in your heart and the flutter in your stomach less unbearable. “It’s late. Let me get you back home.” He said as he stepped away from you and walked to the car.

The car ride may not have been as enthusiastic as before, maybe due to the itis you both developed or the tension that wafted in the car, but it was still enjoyable. He had on a playlist which consisted of everything from New Edition and Boyz || Men to old school Drake as you guys talked about nothing. His hand also mysteriously found itself back on your thigh, this time rubbing patterns on it and gripping you just a little tighter when he hit a sharp left or right.

All good things did have to come to an end though as Erik approached your driveway. “It was fun Ma.” Erik said simply as he looked at you. You sighed and unbuckled your seatbelt trying not to show the disappointment on your face as you had to go home. This facade didn’t work though as Erik made a groaning noise and grabbed your chin. “Don’t look so sad baby girl, I’ll be back before you know it. I think I enjoy being around you, attitude and all.” He reassured you and he gave you one last lingering look before unlocking the door. You opened the passenger door and before you walked out you whispered “Thanks for pulling through, even though you are an annoying ass nigga.” He smiled an all teeth type of smile as you shuffled into your house and locked the door.

“Until next time princess.”

—————

PART 3

@killmongersgurl @killmoncoochie @texasbama @purple-apricots @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @muse-of-mbaku @504queen

ALSO SOME OF THE TAGS DIDNT WORK IM SO SORRY.

#marvel #black panther #erik stevens #erik killmonger x plus size reader #erik killmonger x poc reader #erik killmonger x reader #killmonger #plus size reader #plus size imagine #black reader #poc reader #Killmonger Tingz

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goindanswingin · 5 years

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Les Amis Webshows - Reviews!

So! There’s been a whole two new Amis webshows premiering this January! However, I’ve noticed not that many people are actually talking about them! New content, and we’re not yelling??

So, I’ve decided to give short reviews on their debut pilot episodes, as well as the first episodes of some other Les Amis webshows (I probably missed so many, feel free to add more if you know of them!) in order to maybe spread the word about some cool creators online as well as give y’all a lil more content to consume that isn’t just grim BBC Les Mis discourse atm

(I’ve reviewed them in the order they premiered)

1. Stories From Les Amies

This is a vlog story of the les amis with all the genders purposefully changed! Now this one has an awful lot of content to make up its plot, having premiered in 2013 and wrapped up with an HOUR LENGTH FILM at the end of 2014, so there’s a hell of a lot to digest here! The Enjolras behind this is actually also the author of TextingEnjolras/EnjolrasRising so the plot does bear some resemblance to that also! (Another piece of content I’d highly recommend if you’ve not read yet).

But, to keep it fair, I’m going to stick with just the pilot episode! It’s set up like a big group skype call with our amis introducing themselves, where we are first introduced to their personalities, mostly led by Enjolras although Combeferre acts a beautifully sarcastic arbiter. The video quality isn’t excellent, but surprisingly, the audio quality is pretty great (for every character except Marius), with almost no background noise or fuzz.

Enjolras: All of us make up a society that we call the Friends of the ABC

Enjolras: *awkwardly nods and grins*

Enjolras: Which is actually a pun, because... ABC pronounced together sounds like the word abaissés, which means “lowly” or “abased...

Enjolras: So... it’s... it’s a pun.

I know I’m only reviewing pilot episodes to keep it fair, but I will say yes, the quality of the series absolutely does improve over time, and I would highly recommend giving it a go if you’ve never seen it before! You can find the whole series here.

2. Official Les Amis Vlog

Premiering at almost exactly the same time as number 2 on this list, the Les Amis Vlog is similar in terms of quality but different in style. This is as it says - a vlog channel, with divided playlists for each character in the Amis. Every character uploaded vlogs between 2013 and 2015 introducing themselves, answering questions, and making content on certain themes.

This one took me by surprise - I was very much underwhelmed by the camera quality and lack of plot, but once I started watching, I realised why the Les Amis vlog doesn’t have plot - it’s because instead of making up political issues and action, they actually discuss real politics - in the pilot episode, Enjolras actually talks about a real news article from Reuters and then goes on into an impassioned rant on public surveillance - it’s kind of amazing.

Enjolras: I mean, you wanna hide your face for whatever reason? Well, congratulations! You’re now a potential t*rror*st for having stood in the way of the observational machine!

Obviously this one is much more about the characters than it is any sort of plot like we’ll see in some of our later series, but... these characters are by far some of the most convincing Les Amis I’ve seen! Particularly Enjolars - wow. So if that sounds like your kinda thing, check it out here!

3. Vines de l'ABC

A multimedia webseries that ran from 2016-2018, but mostly confined to Vines, this one in essence is similar to the Les Amis Vlog in that it is more character driven than plot driven - the different characters were all cast and then separately uploaded Vines (and occasionally YouTube videos) as well as answering questions to the main blog.

The first “episode” is, as common for these webseries, a video of our Enjolras introducing Les Amis and his character, then being interrupted by a phone call. The quality is webcam quality, the sound pretty fuzzy, but I do think Dorian here makes a great Enjolras... more on that shortly! Overall, the quality of this first episode isn’t super relevant to the rest of the series though, because as is obvious by the name, it’s mostly comprised of amusing little vines.

*Tik Tok by Ke$ha plays*

Enjolras: Hello? Did you change my ring tone again? ...Again? Well, I mean, I'm trying to do the video... No, I mean, I'm actually in the middle of doing the video right now, you're on camera... No, no I don't know how to edit it out... I mean, does he have a concussion, or..? *sighs* ...How did I know he had a concussion.

Obviously vine is dead, but everything is available here - if this sounds like your kind of thing, definitely go check it out! There is TONS of content for your consumption here.

4. Barricade Boys

Next up is a comedy/parody show from NyxRising, an already established group of YouTube cosplayers who’ve made lots of similar shows previously. This means, for a start, that the production quality here is some of the best you’ll see - great audio and video quality, basic but good set design, great costumes.

Now, let’s make it clear: if you’re looking for a brick accurate show, this is not the one for you. It’s a pretty ludicrous parody, with an unbelievably arsehole Enjolras with no notion of personal space, a Grantaire with weird sideburns and a crush so obvious it’s hilarious, a Marius so dumb he thinks he’s joining a “lonely hearts club” and a Courfeyrac so OOC that I don’t even know where to begin.

But god damn, did this make me laugh out loud a good few times.

Enjolras: You do you, Grantaire. Nobody else will.

This one has a couple episodes out already, and I’d highly recommend if you want some laughs! You can find it here.

5. The Downtrodden

Aaaand... onto our January debuts! I’m super excited to give a review of the pilot episode of Shadow of the Tor’s “The Downtrodden”!

One thing that stuck out to me immediately is that this might be the most diverse cast yet - we have multiple POC, and also a trans Enjolras - in both cases, there’s no self-congratulatory back-patting, but it’s made very clear and very casual, and it’s wonderful. Another point worth mentioning is that our Enjolras is the same Enjolras seen in Vines de l’ABC - and as I mentioned, I think Dorian is great at the role.

The Downtrodden seems to be going for an enjoyable line between plotty and humorous, and so far I’m super excited to see where they take it. The audio and video quality is outstanding, though the cafe background noises could do with being toned down just a tiny bit (as there are occasionally character lines in the background that are a little drowned out), but overall it’s by far the most professional looking alongside Barricade Boys (which had to contend with far less characters!). One comment I will make, though nitpicky, is that unlike Barricade Boys, which moves extremely swiftly through its jokes, The Downtrodden is edited just a pace too slow in one or two scenes, meaning the comic timing falls a little off and the jokes don’t quite get the reaction they really deserve.

Grantaire: You get free coffee refills here if you’re part of a student group. I gotta make that loan last.

Cosette: Do you consider yourself a politically motivated person?

R: I barely even consider myself a person.

C: Oh. Are you alright?

R: Is anyone?

Surprisingly, one of my favourite characters in the pilot episode was Marius! I often find he’s overplayed to death, but in this he appears a little dim but genuinely charming, and he got some of the best laughs out of me. I’d be interested to know how well all the jokes landed with someone who isn’t a Brit, however, since I’m super sold on all these characters being British uni students (student poverty aesthetic and Oxfam shopping bags, goddamn!), and also love Courfeyrac for the same reason - he seems like your typical friendly but laddish uni type, which works perfectly for his character. Also, I own that mug he has.

One of the strongest points, and a very common issue I have with Les Amis webshows (and the 2012 movie NOT GONNA LIE), is losing track of who is supposed to be who - I had no such problem with The Downtrodden - everyone is introduced naturally, gets at LEAST a line or two, and is beautifully acted - go check out the pilot here!

6. The Les Amis Webshow

The last one on our list - the Les Amis Webshow premiered on the last day of January!

First impressions of this webshow are: the most enticing hook yet straight from the beginning, and some of the worst sound quality.

After the introduction - structured as Marius speaking to us from the future - the pilot episode actually centers around a random film student coming up to Marius and asking if they can film him. Is this Cosette? Will we ever find out? Who knows, but for some reason Marius just takes it in his stride and lets this person follow him around, in what I can’t decide is a very weird move, or a very Marius move.

Jehan: Are you wearing your lanyard?

Marius: Yeah. Why? That’s what it’s for.

Jehan: (laughing) You simple little freshman!

Marius: *long pause*

Also Marius: We’re gonna get along great!

The editing is actually fun and a few shots seem to be going for something quite adventurous - I just wish the audio quality were better.

I like Enjolras so far - he seems very confident in himself and a little bit of a rich boy, and I’m really interested to see what they do with Marius, since this is the only webshow so far where Marius has been front and center instead of Enjolras - in that snippet at the start, he seems very anxious and weary - it’s very Empty Chairs at Empty Tables! Overall, this has the most “plot-y” vibe to its initial episode so far, and reminds me a lot of Stories from Les Amies, honestly. I’m very excited to see what they do with it, and am also euphoric at a REGULAR UPLOAD SCHEDULE unlike the other two which are currently running - Barricade Boys and The Downtrodden. Keep up with it every Thursday here!

Thank you so much to @starberry-cupcake for helping me compile this list!

highlight reel: @/SFLA who the fuck makes a feature length movie oh my god, the sheer levels of gay in BB, Marius’ super poshboy accent in TD (sorry if thats just how u speak Ethan), and best of all the German flag taking centre stage in tLAW - the european cynic in me is desperate to know why its there and hopes that you didn’t just mix up French and German flags lmao

#les mis #les miz #les miserables #les amis #exr #bonus points for the first person to make a compilation #of all the pronounciations #of enjolras #of combeferre #and of courfeyrac #every fucking show gets at least one wrong

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gracemerc4-blog · 3 years

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When words fail, music speaks.

Music has long been used as a creative outlet for people to express themselves. Through the use of songs, people can really express their feelings and show the world who they truly are, no matter how complex. The main protagonist of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth Bennet, is a very complex character. Elizabeth is confident in who she is, and unlike the other women of her time, wanted to marry a man for love instead of money. Her independence and loyalty shine throughout the novel, however, her quick-to-judge attitude is also displayed in the novel. The following playlist represents Elizabeth Bennet as a loyal, confident, and independent yet judgemental woman that did not conform to the societal expectations for women during this time.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6Fs6RHqvbA3ZwEpMqB46OG?si=7tDgV-jiQESR8cryVDFJ8g

Elizabeth Bennet does not care what anyone else thinks and stays true to herself. When her sister Jane falls ill at Netherfield Park, Elizabeth walks there herself to make sure she was okay, causing herself to arrive with “weary ankles, dirty stockings, and a face glowing with the warmth of exercise” (Austen, 33). Upon entering the house, she is judged by Miss. Bingley and Miss. Hurst for her messy attire, as women are not expected to dirty themselves on three mile walks during this time. Despite their judgement, Elizabeth does not mind her dirty clothes. Elizabeth’s attitude towards judgement calls to mind lyrics from “Bad Reputation” by Joan Jett, “A girl can do what she wants to do and that's what I'm gonna do, an' I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation.” Elizabeth does not care about her dirty appearance or about what the other women had to say about her.

Elizabeth is confident in who she is and she is not going to change for anyone, even if she is not considered an “accomplished woman”. When Elizabeth visits Jane at Netherfield Park when Jane is sick, a conversation begins about what makes a woman accomplished. “In Pride and Prejudice, Mrs Hurst's accusation that Elizabeth is unladylike leads to Miss Bingley's listing of the attributes of an ‘accomplished” woman: music, dancing, drawing and the modern languages, together with “a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions’. But Bingley and Darcy rate sisterly affection and extensive reading more highly” (Harris). Elizabeth comments that she has never met a woman with all of these traits and she does not think they exist. This comment implies that Elizabeth thinks Darcy is being too demanding and that his standards are too high. “Superficial Love” by Ruth B. includes the lyrics, “I wanna know when I'm looking at you, that you don't only see the things you want to 'cause I'm not perfect, I'm flawed. And if you don't like that, get lost” (B., Ruth). Elizabeth acknowledges that men should not demand a perfect woman because no woman is perfect. Elizabeth would believe that men should love women despite their flaws and without ridiculously high standards.

During the early 1800s, women would try to get married to men that had money in order to get a better life for themselves. Marrying for love was rare. But Elizabeth does not want to get married to just anyone. Elizabeth was proposed to by Mr. Collins, the man that would inherit her family’s Longbourn estate. By accepting his proposal, Elizabeth would have not had to worry about money or becoming an old spinster that is looked down upon by society. Instead, Elizabeth rejects this marriage proposal because she does not want to marry just anyone. As TLC once said, “I don't want no scrubs, a scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me” (TLC). Elizabeth wants to be loved and respected, not just married for money. Elizabeth turning down a man that will soon become wealthy is unheard of during this time period. Even her best friend Charlotte Lucas takes the opportunity, as Mr. Collins proposes to her next. Pyeaam Abbasi shares the same sentiment about Elizabeth rejecting the marriage proposal, stating, “Elizabeth stays a rebel, an individual respecting her own feelings more than respecting what the society expects her to do—to marry a rich gentleman” (Abbasi). By not marrying rich, Elizabeth goes against societal expectations to be her own person. Going against the status quo of marriage and not marrying for money is also a theme in the song “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” by JLo, with the lyrics “All that matters is that you treat me right, give me all the things I need that money can't buy” (Lopez).

Elizabeth Bennet is fiercely loyal to the people she loves. When her sister Jane becomes sick at Netherfield Park on a visit to Mr. Bingley, Elizabeth walks three miles to Mr. Bingley’s estate just to make sure her sister is okay. Elizabeth’s loyal nature causes her to deeply care about the people she loves. The hit song “Stand by You” by Rachel Platten includes the lyrics, “Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you, love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you” (Platten). This song is about loyalty and being there for someone when they really need it, just like Elizabeth is there for the people she loves.

Intelligence and independence are some of Elizabth’s main traits. Elizabeth is a very intelligent woman. Miss Bingley describes Elizabeth, stating, “She is a great reader and has no pleasure in anything else” (Austen 37). Elizabeth’s intelligence and confidence prompted me to add the song “Run the World” by Beyonce to her playlist, which includes the lyrics, “Boy, you know you love it, how we're smart enough to make these millions” (Beyonce). Elizabeth also knows that she does not need a man to be happy. “I Don’t Need a Man” by The Pussycat Dolls is also included in this playlist, including the lyrics, “I don't need a ring around my finger to make me feel complete”(Dolls). Elizabeth is very independent and does not need to rely on a man to be happy, which is why she rejects Mr.Collins, as she is perfectly fine being happy on her own. She is not the type of woman that would just sit still, look pretty, and be as accommodating as possible like the other women of this time. “Sit Still Look Pretty” by Daya includes lyrics about not wanting to just be a pretty object for men to look at. The song includes lyrics such as, “No, I don’t wanna sit still, look pretty” (Daya). These lyrics fit Elizabeth well because she is very much her own independent person and would not make herself smaller to appease someone else.

Although Elizabeth has a lot of great qualities, she is not perfect. Elizabeth does have a predisposition to be judgemental. When Elizabeth first meets Darcy, she judges him prematurely and thinks that he was a proud and disagreeable man. However, her opinion begins to change once she visits Pemberley House. All of the workers that maintain Pemberley speak of Mr. Darcy in the highest regards, describing him as “the best landlord and best master that ever lived” (Austen 239). All of the praise for Darcy makes Elizabeth question if she really knows him at all. The song “Signs” by Five Man Electrical Band is all about judging someone prematurely and wrongful judgement. Some lyrics include, “The sign said ‘Long-haired freaky people need not apply’ so I tucked my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why. He said "You look like a fine upstanding young man, I think you'll do.’ So I took off my hat, I said ‘Imagine that. Huh! Me workin' for you!’” (Five Man Electrical Band). A song about judgement fits perfectly into this playlist because of Elizabeth’s tendency to judge prematurely.

Despite Elizabeth’s judgemental tendencies, she finds love in the place where she least expects it. Following her visit to Pemberley, Elizabeth begins to realize that Darcy really is not as arrogant and disagreeable as she thinks, and she falls in love with him. “I Found” by Amber Run is a song about finding love where you least expect it, with the lyrics, “I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be: right in front of me. Talk some sense to me” (Run). Elizabeth finds this love where it “wasn’t supposed to be” because of her initial prejudice against Mr. Darcy. At one point, she even tells Darcy, “you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry” (188). Falling in love with Darcy is the last thing Elizabeth expects to do, so “I Found” perfectly explains her new found romance.

Work Cited

Abbasi, Pyeaam. "Aggression or Regression: A Comparative Study of Heroines in The Mill on the Floss and Pride and Prejudice." k@ta lama [Online], 16.1 (2014): 54-60. Web. 15 Nov. 2020

B., Ruth. Lyrics to “Superficial Love.” Genius, 2020, https://genius.com/Ruth-b-superficial-love-lyrics.

Beyonce. Lyrics to “Run the World (Girls).” Genius, 2020, https://genius.com/Beyonce-run-the-world-girls-lyrics .

Daya. Lyrics to “Sit Still Look Pretty.” Genius, 2020, https://genius.com/Daya-sit-still-look-pretty-lyrics .

Dolls, The Pussycat. Lyrics to “I Don’t Need a Man.” Genius, 2020, https://genius.com/The-pussycat-dolls-i-dont-need-a-man-lyrics .

Five Man Electrical Band. Lyrics to “Signs.” Genius, 2020, https://genius.com/Five-man-electrical-band-signs-lyrics .

Harris, Jocelyn Margaret. “Jane Austen and Celebrity Culture: Shakespeare, Dorothy Jordan and Elizabeth Bennet.” Shakespeare, vol. 6, no. 4, Dec. 2010, pp. 410–430. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1080/17450918.2010.527364.

Jett, Joan. Lyrics to “Bad Reputation.” Genius, 2020, https://genius.com/Joan-jett-bad-reputation-lyrics.

Lopez, Jennifer. Lyrics to “Love Don’t Cost a Thing..” Genius, 2020, https://genius.com/Jennifer-lopez-love-dont-cost-a-thing-lyrics .

Platten, Rachel. Lyrics to “Stand by You.” Genius, 2020, https://genius.com/Rachel-platten-stand-by-you-lyrics .

Run, Amber. Lyrics to “I Found.” Genius, 2020, https://genius.com/Amber-run-i-found-lyrics .

TLC. Lyrics to “No Scrubs.” Genius, 2020,https://genius.com/Tlc-no-scrubs-lyrics .

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coreycorner · 3 years

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Power Up by AC/DC - CCCC1/2

Look, I love AC/DC! Anyone who knows me personally or is just a acquaintance of mine knows I am a AC/DC fan. I would say of all of the most distinguishable characteristics me that people tend to think of me when or if they ever do think of me is my love for AC/DC. They are my band it really is as simple as that.

I have reviewed all of their albums, I own all of their albums almost twice over except for the River Plate live album (though I own the DVD of it which is my excuse for why I don’t own the CD/vinyl) but I don’t feel like that counts but maybe someday I will just get that just to be completionist. I feel as though I should re review those albums because I have grown up a bit since then and my views of AC/DC have slightly differed though do not get me wrong they will more than likely be the same now as they were back then. I guess what I mean by that is I find myself changing which albums I love from them fairly often. Highway to hell and Back in Black will probably always hold the 1 or 2 spot every other album goes through a rotation of sorts as I have grown up.

I have been an AC/DC fan since late 1997 though if you really want to be technical about it I have been an AC/DC fan since 1993 when I heard Big Gun for the first time. I think I was destined to be a AC/DC fan because unlike most if not all of the bands I have liked in my life there has been one or two bands that have been constant throughout my evolution in my music taste. One I would say is Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band but most importantly and most evident is AC/DC.

I speak of my musical evolution because over the summer and fall I had taken upon myself to really do a musical biography of myself. What I mean by that is since 2006 every year I would for shits and giggles create a playlist of all the music I liked for that specific age of my life. I lost the playlists around 2014 when I got a new computer and I also sort of lost them again over this year when the place I housed them (8tracks.com) shut down for good. I had become a subscriber of Spotify and found they had 90% of the music so I decided they would be the new house for my playlists. I do plan on recreating them on my own computer so I don’t lose them (again hopefully) but Spotfy had such a large library I felt like I should do it there first so I could catch every song I could that would be accurate. Now that I have the playlists down it is just a matter of creating them on my computer as well.

Anyways I am veering too far off the road here, point is it was very interesting listening to how my tastes in music evolved during my life. Where I started with and where I am not but again the constant has always been AC/DC. Maybe Weird Al Yankovic too but I don't know if there is another band that has made more apparent and pivotal appearances in my life’s playlists and life in general than AC/DC.

I remember listening to Big Gun for the first time as a 8 or 9 year old and just being fucking floored. It is still one of those songs that always floors me to this day, I just listened to it and I can’t but always just get into a pumped up mood when that song plays. If I knew more about music or had more dispensable money at that time (though lets me honest if I did I probably would have just spent it on candy, toys or renting movies/games instead which is what I often did) I would have bought more AC/DC but I don't think I was ready.

Fast forward December 1997 the I was watching WWF Monday Night Raw when I heard Stone Cold Steve Austin come out in a Austin 3:16 truck to Back in Black. Again I was floored the same way as I was in 1993, I had to hear that song again. Over the year of 1998 I would educate myself with what AC/DC music was and was quickly becoming a huge fan of theirs. Metallica at the time was my favourite band but after Napster and a bad performance at Woodstock 99 I decided to say fuck you to Metallica and AC/DC officially became my favourite band right before the millennium and since then they have been my favourite band.

I have found myself asking myself a lot these days how is it that a environmental feminist whom most consider to be a lefty or in some arena’s a “socialist” be so infatuated with a band whose fan base is very right wing and conservative and whose lyrics if you actually read them really walk a sharp line of being sexist. I am willing to bet if AC/DC was a new band today they would probably catch a shit ton of flack if they wrote the kind of songs they wrote from the 70s-90s but since they are basically of legend and untouchable status most people let that pass as they are from a different time.

I have chose not to answer that question for some time mainly because I couldn’t come with a straight answer but after listening to this album I feel I know the answer but then I guess I always known and just had to be reminded.....it’s the riffs.

Something about how Mal and Angus Young play that just get me in the right way. I cannot describe but that is really what draws me to AC/DC, it is the riffs because it sure as hell isn’t the lyrics most of the time.

Since I have been an AC/DC fan there has been 4 albums that have been released, funny enough all were recorder where I have lived in the past 15 years (Vancouver, BC Canada); Stiff Upper Lip, Black Ice, Rock or Bust and now Power Up.

I remember the day I listened to Stiff Upper Lip for the first time like it was yesterday though it has been more than 20 years ago now. My parents and I decided to spend a weekend at West Edmonton Mall’s Fantasyland Hotel. I brought my Sega Dreamcast with me during that trip. I knew that the album was going to come out the weekend I was there. I remember being the very first kid to enter the HMV that early morning. I grabbed the album which came with a sticker and guitar pick and bought it with my babysitter money. The rest of my babysitter money went to buying Crazy Taxi. Once I made those purchases I spent the rest of the day playing Crazy Taxi and Stiff Upper Lip. That created a tradition that I have held to this day that I must be gaming while I am playing AC/DC. For Black Ice I remember buying the album right after work in 2008. I had just bought the new Ridge Racer game for Xbox 360 and when I got home I played that game while listening to the album and I don't know if I have ever had such a fun time listening to an album for the first time as I did during that initial play through of Black Ice.

When Rock or Bust came out sadly there wasn't any new racing games out that I wanted to play (I am not much of a racing fan) so I decided to play an old favourite of mine as a kid Cruisin’ USA for the N64. I remember buying that album in Newfoundland as I had just arrived there a week or two after coming back to Canada from my European tour. I had that album on full blast for hours. However I am not going to lie, I was pretty disappointed with that album.

For all intensive purposes Rock or Bust is probably the worst of the four albums that have came out since I have been officially an AC/DC fan. It left me wanting more and not in a good way. There was really only one or two good songs on the album, two that were absolutely killer but everything else wasn’t good at all and seemed to just exemplify AC/DC’s main weaknesses to me; the lyrics especially. I felt like if this was AC/DC’s last album then that is unfortunate because it wasn’t a great outing. I felt if there was an album that they could be proud to hang it up on it was Black ice and I know I am not the only one who thought that way.

Despite the album being very lack lustre their live show which I got to see twice for the Rock or Bust tour was still awesome but I am not going to lie I am so glad I got to see them live twice because not long after Brian Johnson was kicked out of the band and it seemed as though the band simply imploded. I knew AC/DC wasn’t really done but I knew it was going to be awhile before anything was going to happen.

in 2018 I soon found out they were recording in Vancouver again and I couldn’t help but be excited and anticipating an album to come out either at the end of 2018 or at least somewhere in 2019, that didn’t happen.

By 2020 I felt like it was pretty fucking ridiculous, AC/DC is usually pretty quick with things when it comes to album making. By the time they are in the studio they usually already have everything written and it is just a matter of getting it recorded then releasing but this basically took 2 years since recording to release. Mind you 2020′s COVID-19 probably had something to do with them releasing it so late but closing to release it a day after my birthday (today) isn’t a bad idea.

So I have listened to this album front to back at least 3 or 4 times. I broke the tradition slightly though, I do not have any racing games. Actually that is a lie I do but none new and none I felt like playing or remembered to want to play so instead I played NHL 21 and quite honestly it didn’t make a difference I still fucking loved this album. I played it on my way to the eye doctor to get an eye test and I played on my way home again. I think at this point I feel I can give a good honest opinion of the album.

It is very much better than Rock or Bust, infinitely better I would say. That being said it doesn’t have the solid hit power of the songs Rock or Bust or Play Ball but what Power Up has that Rock or Bust doesn’t is that it is a solid ass kicking album from front to back with very litte what I would call filler. Rock or Bust I feel like had two very good songs, one ok song and the others that was just flat out filler and cringe worthy. This one however had very little and the ones that may have seemed somewhat cringeyish (I will get to that soon) were still very listenable because the riffage is just so fucking good on this album.

Look this is an AC/DC album, you more or less know what you are going to get with them. Love them or hate them you have to respect the fact that while they may not hit it out of the park every time you know you going to at least get some good cuts of hard rock from the back who really is the best hard rock band of all time and I defy anyone who could tell me other wise because I am willing to bet the one you think is better than AC/DC probably thinks AC/DC is the best too.....just sayin’. Lets start with the song breakdown, I will write it as I am listening to.

Realize - Not going to lie when I first heard this song as a single the day before this album came out I didn’t entirely like it. But while playing NHL 21, drinking beer and eating doniars this song put me in the mood to listen. The riffage feels a little different from what I remember from them but still very much AC/DC. Definitely put me in the mood.

Rejection - Very much a typical AC/DC sounding song, this song got me pumped up for sure but I will say the lyrics are a bit cringe worthy. It sounds very rapey, white male privieldgey. Maybe it is just my mind set but it felt like it could have been spoken to a woman but let me be clear they don’t say whether they are talking to a woman or not but the lyrics either way are not very good. With that said the riffs are vintage AC/DC. Look we don’t go to AC/DC for poetic lyrics, great lyrics and AC/DC do not go together and haven’t been together since Back in Black where I am more than positive now that some of those lyrics had to come from Bon Scott. With that said we don’t come for the lyrics but the riffs and this song delivers on that.

Shot in The Dark - This was the first song I heard from the album a few weeks ago. I listened to it half way drunk from a long fucking day and this song was a shot in the arm I needed I feel like I know I am not the only one who felt that way especially after losing Eddie Van Halen the day that song came out. It is just a solid vintage AC/DC song. Easily the best song on the album.

Through The Mists of Time - When I heard this song title it seemed very weird, this doesn’t sound like a song title from an AC/DC album. Song titles are usually very clique, tongue and cheek and often involve either rock in the title or something perverted. The song itself also sounds somewhat out of character for AC/DC. Again don’t get me wrong it still sounds like AC/DC but slightly different. I would say this is my second favourite song on the album easily. It is poppy yes but I don't care I like a bit of pop with my rock and at least this delivers still.

Kick You When You’re Down - We go from a song that I didn’t quite expect from AC/DC to a song that I expected from them. The song is not bad however still very much a clique song. Well the lyrics are clique but the groove grows on you. It is still very much a toe tapper that you will enjoy for sure but very cliquey.

Witch’s Spell - This song feels like it could have come from Black Ice and in that I fell in love in with this song pretty quickly, even the lyrics were not half bad. This is another great song on the album, 3rd best maybe or 2nd I do not know but it is definitely one of the highlights of the album.

Demon Fire - This was another one where i heard not in the context of within the album that I felt unsure of but by the time this song came on I was already well on board with the cut of this album’s lib that I was willing to be open to whatever this album thrown at me next. I think this song works very well in the context of the album it is in. I don’t know if I could like it as a stand alone song but AC/DC isn’t exactly about stand alone songs. They have always been a album band where the collection of songs are all supposed to work together. They make albums meant to be listened to from front to back in your vehicle or in the case of me doing other stuff in order to heighten the fun. Its meant to be int he background of fun. This song is meant to be there to make the moment funner and it works. It is a song that grows on you like Kick You When You’re Down. By the end of the song it wins you over.

Wild Reputation - This sounds very similar to Kick You When You’re Down, same kind of groove and clique. I don’t really have much of an opinion of this song though. Like Demon Fire it works int he context of the album and with the album.

No Man’s Land - Another clique hard rock song but because it is AC/DC it works better than it should, as long as you don’t listen to the lyrics. I sound like I am hard on the lyrics but honestly I am because they sort of stink. It has always been a weakness with AC/DC but it hasn’t been more evident than in these last two albums. They really need to get someone who can do it better. I know they won’t but one could hope.

Systems Down - I love how this song started but like every other song it is just a typical solid ass kicking hard riffing AC/DC song. It’s as simple as that.

Money Shot - If there was any filler songs where the shit lyrics wasn’t clouded with good riffs it would be this song. I think this song is the bad song on the album, I don’t like it. The riffs are ok but generic and the lyrics may have worked in the 80s or 90s but just screams laziness to me. If not for a typically good Angus guitar solo this song would be a fun blown stinker.

Code Red - I know some people like this song but I don’t see the appeal they do. Don’t get me wrong this song is still a decent hard rock song, earlier better than Money Shot. Vintage AC/DC hard rock but a fairly forgettable song in the grand scheme of things. I don’t know if I would have ended the album with this but at the end of the day it wasn’t the worst choice.

Like I have said before you more or less know what you are going to get with an AC/DC album, they are not going to change the formula and they should be respected for that. Sometimes it is good to know you can always know you can rely on certain things to always be a certain way.

Of the 4 albums that have come out since I have technically been a fan I would say this is probably the second best album of the 4, maybe third best I dunno because Stiff Upper Lip is a solid album in of itself to but that album requires the right mood where this album is vintage AC/DC to the fucking bone. Nothing about this album is really surprising at the end of the day it delivers the way you expect an AC/DC album should. With that said it is not as good as Black ice but I was never expecting it to. In all honesty I got what I wanted to a degree and came out more satisfied with this one than I did with Rock or Bust.

With that said the weaknesses with this album are the same as they were with Rock or Bust; weak lyrics and the album is way too short. The lyrics I can forgive though i am always going to be critical of them for it but the fact that this album is only 41 minutes long to me is questionable. it is longer than Rock or Bust but you can tell me especially after publicly saying that there is a mountain of riffs untapped in the vault that you could not come out with an album that is at least an hour long. AC/DC albums only really come out every 5-8 years so you can't tell me that 2 years of working on this album with a mountain of riffs at your disposal that you could only put out 41 minutes worth.

If I was Angus and the boys I would have been plugging to make a full on double album or at least 2 45 min albums. One be Power Up and another 2 or 3 years later or something. or better yet just don't make anything till you figured out which riffs work and just make one last colossal album and make that be the last. Not like you have very many albums left in the tank anyways. Brian is nearly deaf, Cliff can’t tour hard anymore and everyone is north of 60 you guy’s music isn’t as easier to play live as the Stones who could probably play well into their 90s at this rate.

Maybe I am just hard on them but I love AC/DC, I put them on a higher pedestal than others. With that said my grading system for them is different than others. When I grade them I grade them in comparison to their other albums. So a CCC could very well be a CCC1/2 or CCCC when compared to other bands. This album deserves a high rating but not too high. At the end of the day I feel CCCC1/2 is very fair for this album. It is great AC/DC album. It is an album you can play start to finish and thoroughly enjoy. It’s a bit corny and still short but all things considered you get a good dose of hard rock with this and that is all that matters. This album more than confirmed why they are my all time favourite band.

#AC/DC #ac/dc power up #hard rock

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raventons · 6 years

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99 q/a for 2017

1. What’s the toughest decision you made today? To get out of bed after a 3 hour nap.

2. What’s the toughest decision you made this year? I would say turning around at the airport, not going to Moscow, deciding my mental health is more important than that trip. However, I was just following my fear, which is quite an easy feeling to follow. And I have not once found myself second guessing that call. I am not one to dwell too much on decisions like that. I honestly contemplate more about what I’m having for dinner, or what underwear to buy – and I always end up regretting or celebrating those decisions more.

3. What’s the toughest decision you ever made? Once I spent over an hour deciding if I wanted carbonara or caciatora. I went with caciatora, and that day I learned that if you are in doubt, you should always go with what your dinner company orders. My dad got carbonara, and it was out of this world. If you order the same thing as your date, it might still be the lesser option, but at least you will not know what you are missing. As an intellectual, this is one of the conclusions I’m the most proud of.

4. What have you forgotten? Almost all the math I was taught in high school.

5. If you were guaranteed the answer to one question, what would it be? I would love to know who is answering me, and how they got the ability to answer any question ever.

6. What’s it like being you right now? Better than it has been. A lot better. I’d say good.

7. What makes you nostalgic? Lenny Kravitz, long car rides, the soundtrack of midsummer murders and the smell of old Swedish cabin in a Småland forest (we all know that smell).

8. If you had two hours left on earth what would you do? Sit close to my parents, and talk about our life together. And tell them how grateful I am and how happy they’ve made me.

9. What’s the most beautiful word in the world? The Swedish Blockchoklad or the Russian Nemnoga

10. Who makes you laugh more than anyone? Alex, no doubt.

11. What did your father teach you? How to show affection, how to make people laugh, how to interact with strangers, how to put together a good outfit, how to cook and pretty much everything I know on economy and religion. And how much it means to have amazing parents that never, not even once, let you down.

12. What did your mother teach you? How to not give a shit about anyone’s opinion, how to appreciate simplicity, how to be a storyteller, how to calm down when afraid, how to love without giving yourself up, how to be badass and pretty much everything I know on literature, self-esteem and really bad British crime stories. And how much it means to have amazing parents that never, not even once, let you down.

13. What’s the best gift you’ve ever given? An orange moose I gave to my dad. It was really cheap and dumb, but he had just been diagnosed with a chronical disease (he is much better now) and everything just seemed to fall apart. So I did what any good daughter would do, I bought him a stuffed animal. It made him smile. And he still keeps it by his bedside. It’s called the vomit moose, since that was the most… obvious symptom at the time.

14. Best gift you ever received? My friend Lin gave me a card once with pictures and drawings of us. I love it and still have it ten years later.

15. How many times a day do you look in the mirror? Way too many.

16. What do you bring most to a friendship? I’d like to think I am funny. I talk too much, and always about the wrong and often quite strange things, but when I’m in the right mood and they’re in the right mood; I’d say I am funny.

17. If 100 people in your age group were selected randomly, how many do you think they’d find leading a happier life than you? Very few if we are talking happy as in privileged. I am so very lucky and have had so many fortunate turns in my life.

18. What is or was your best subject in school? Social science.

19. What activity do you do that makes you feel most like yourself? Writing.

20. What makes you feel supported? I do. (Wow, I am actually quite proud of that answer, but it is true. Sometimes I look for help or motivation in others, but confidence and shit I truthfully only find in myself).

21. Whom do you secretly admire? Secretly? No one. I admire a lot of people, and I think I make sure to tell them.

22. What time of the day do you feel the most energetic and what do you usually do in those moments? Noon. Usually waste that energy on procrastination.

23. What’s something you never leave home without? Pants.

24. What’s a recurring dream you have? Teeth falling out. Or organs. I quite often have nightmares about some stuff that is supposed to be inside or attached to my body suddenly isn’t.

25. What makes you feel safe? Blankets and tea.

26. What’s the best thing that ever happened to you? Discovering international law as my field of work.

27. What do you want people to say about you once you’re gone? That I was smart.

28. What’s the coolest thing about science? Well… let’s go with nature science, because my field of research is not cool at all. I think it’s about the fact that nature is there. It’s not something we invent or solve, it’s something we discover. It’s all written, all the answers are out there somewhere. All the equations, all the numbers, they all correspond to a reality we only see fragments of. It’s like humanity is reading a book together, and the physicists and biologists flip the pages. And for each chapter we find out more and more about how the world around us works.

29. What’s the best money you ever spent? My skinny, black jeans.

30. What’s a bad habit you have? Listening to bad music. I don’t want to support sexist or racist producers. Still here I am, having my playlists filled with pop about grabbing pussies. I’m also weirdly addicted to marzipan.

31. What are you grateful for? My professors and a free education.

32. Whom are you envious of? Almost everyone. But it varies, passes and comes back. It depends on the day. Or the hour.

33. What’s an image you’ll never forget? Well, I have to go with a few summers ago when me and a former classmate ended up skinny dipping in a sunset down at Österlen. But actually, the first thing that came to mind was the real holocaust footage that was included in the TV-show The Promise. I had to leave the room, could not finish the series and I still think about it quite often.

34. Describe a near-death experience. My brain thinks I have one daily, but I don’t think I’ve ever had one. Once I got my luggage lost in Russia, and we had to drive around downtown St Petersburg for hours in a shady cab. It was all fine and no hostile environment what so ever, but when I tell the story it really sounds quite near-death.

35. If you had a clone, what would you have the clone do? Dishes.

36. What’s your idea of Heaven? A lot of cozy spots by windows with rain outside. Good food, good tea and good conversation. A book shelf would be nice too.

37. What’s your idea Hell? Bad food, bad tea and bad conversation.

38. When did you know? Did I ever?

39. What can you do better? I could be more structured. I literally have no routines at all.

40. When are you most yourself? When I am alone, covered in loud music.

41. What superpower would you most like to have? Time travelling but without all the complicated world-war-shit to come with it.

42. If you were granted three wishes, what would you do with the second wish? Fix up the UN.

43. What is your actual superpower? I am very, very analytic. I am also amazing at app games.

44. If you won 100 million dollars, what would you buy first? I would love to own a goat. But well, that’s more of a management problem than an actual money problem.

45. What's the best sound in the world? Waves. Or someone biting in chocolate.

46. What’s perfect about your life? My parents. And Amanda. She is a wonderful person.

47. What song do you sing only when you’re alone and what memory does it bring back? Min Kärlek av Shirley Clamp. And there is no memories connected, it’s just fucking brilliant.

48. Describe a moment you were so embarrassed you wanted to disappear. When I was 8 we had a quiz in class, and I answered cow instead of turtle (I will NOT tell you the question).

49. How many times a day do you think about money? Every time I use it.

50. Who has been the biggest influence on you in your relationship to money? My parents.

51. What's one thing you're certain of? Cows don’t have shells.

52. Describe one of your colossal failures. I think I just did.

53. What makes you cringe? People trying to make memes a thing you can refer to in real life.

54. What does your inner voice tell you? To shut up. I tell it the same.

55. What crime have you considered committing? I don’t even bike without a helmet. I am a pussy.

56. What's great about your mom? Her hair is amazing.

57. What’s great about your dad? His hair is not so very amazing (and I inherited it) but he has other good qualities. He collects post-cards for example. That’s pretty cool.

58. Which day would you gladly re-live? The day in third grade when I won the egg-cracking championship at our school.

59. What are you awesome at? Egg-cracking, obviously.

60. What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you? That I seem decent.

61. When were you most afraid? Berlin, 2014.

62. What are you terrible at but love to do anyway? Sex, probably.

63. What weapon would you carry during the Zombie Apocalypse? An axe or a sword. Or a nuke, if bad goes to worse.

64. Which of your five senses would you keep if you could only keep one? I would like to hear shit.

65. What’s something you love to make? Pancakes.

66. What do you cook better than anyone? This weird ass pasta with butter. It’s unhealthy but so damn good.

67. What do you wish you’d invented? The airplane. Or well… the flying machine or whatever it was called when it was invented.

68. What would you like to invent? A new UN system.

69. Out of 100 random people, where would you rank yourself in terms of your intelligence? Pretty high.

70. Where do you want to be right now? Venice.

71. If you could be someone else for a day who would it be and why? Graham Norton. He seems so happy. And he is funny and smart and his job seems to be really cool.

72. What makes you feel powerful? My Hans Zimmer playlist.

73. What’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said? Considering how empty my brain is right now, I think it has done quite some work on supressing those memories.

74. What’s the meanest thing someone has ever said to you? Actually, most people are nice. I don’t think anyone has ever been really mean to me. Sometimes I get hurt, when people say I am pretentious or annoying. But the only reason they say that (and the only reason it hurts) is it’s true.

75. What three words would you have on your grave stone? Let me sleep.

76. What’s your first thought when you wake up? Let me sleep.

77. What’s one thing you wake up to in the middle of the night worrying about? Usually if I have cancer in the prostate since I need to pee ALL the time. But then I remember I am a female.

78. If you could tell someone something anonymously, what would it be? I would tell my cousin Johan to never be insecure about anything. He is probably the most awesome, complete and admirable person in the world.

79. Whom would you like to forgive and forget? The people who made two and a half men.

80. If you could get rid of one of your responsibilities today, what would it be? Dishes.

81. What type of person angers you the most? Extreme right wingers who grew up in a place where they had a choice. Of course you can’t blame people for reacting to the environment around them, and get affected by their culture – but people who grow up with access to information and without oppression – how on earth did you make those conclusions?

82. What is your greatest strength? I’m confident about my intellect.

83. What is your worst weakness? I’m insecure about pretty much everything else.

84. How do you show your love for others? Tiny surprises. It can be buying them flowers, cleaning their apartment or just answering a two years old text and apologize for forgetting their existence.

85. Why are you here in this room right now? It’s 10 degrees minus outside.

86. When is a time you forgave someone or were forgiven for something? I forgave myself for not doing the dishes. It felt good.

87. What’s the biggest mistake you ever made? Talking too much. I always talk too much. It’s not one big mistake at one certain event. But it keeps on happening and I never fucking learn.

88. What are you hiding? Nothing.

89. What’s your unanswerable question--the question you seem to always be asking yourself? Can there be true objectivity?

90. What are you ashamed of? My fetishes.

91. What is stopping you? Panic attacks. Or walls, mostly.

92. What’s a secret you have? I really have no idea what I am going to do with my life.

93. How do you secretly manipulate people to get your way? I don’t do this on purpose, but I’ve noticed it happening without actively thinking about it. I usually express a will to rely on people, and come across as weak and fragile, making them think I need their help and protection – when I am really just better of on my own.

94. When was the last time you apologized? This morning.

95. What is the biggest lie you tell yourself? That I am a cool and mysterious person that people look up to.

96. What’s the moment you left childhood behind? Probably when I moved out from home and went grocery shopping for the first time. Deciding if I needed milk or not was my first ever adult decision.

97. What's missing from your life? Structure. And home cooked meals.

98. Do you believe in a higher power? No.

99. What are you ready to let go of? About half my closet and my fear of flying.

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vroenis · 4 years

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Circa 2009 - 2019

Lede with a picture, righto...

In true style, that’s going to deter the lot, but gotta stay on brand.

To have this discussion, we’re going to need a list. A musical timeline of sorts with the exception of four key events;

2002 Balance 003 (compiled and mixed by Bill Hamel) 2008 Jóhann Jóhannsson, Fordlandia 2009 Telefon Tel Aviv, Immolate Yourself 22nd January - Charles Cooper dies Tosca, No Hassle Hildur Guðnadóttir, Without Sinking

2010 Jóhann Jóhannsson, And In The Endless Pause There Came The Sound Of Bees 2011 Bon Iver, self titled 2012 Bat For Lashes, The Haunted Man 2013 13th January - Kentucky Route Zero Act I is first released Andrew Bayer, If It Were You, We'd Never Leave Darkside, Psychic The Haxan Cloak, Excavation 2014 Siavash Amini, Til Human Voices Wake Us 2015 Björk, Vulnicura Siavash Amini, Subsiding Jóhann Jóhannsson, Sicario (original soundtrack)

2016 The 1975, I Like It When You Sleep, For You Are So Beautiful Yet So Unaware Of It 2017 Björk, Utopia Siavash Amini, TAR 2018 9th February - Jóhann Jóhannsson dies 29th June - Bill Hamel dies Andrew Bayer, In My Last Life The 1975, A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships Siavash Amini, FORAS Skee Mask, Compro 2019 Siavash Amini, SERUS Apparat, LP5 Telefon Tel Aviv, Dreams Are Not Enough

While I’ve added a precursor of two albums to give context to two of the events that happen in the timeline, it is effectively book-ended by the two most recent albums from Telefon Tel Aviv. These albums form a frame in which so many things have happened - in my life, and seemingly in the lives of others. Some clearly in the events so evident and unavoidable, painfully so and still lingering in the minds and emotions of those they directly affect and us in the periphery who only have the most faintest of contact yet still seem to perceive ourselves significantly touched. By this I mean the death of Charles Cooper - if I feel devastated, having only ever been had an impression of his character via the channel of his art, there isn’t a universe in which I can possibly imagine what Joshua Eustis’ daily experience is, so I can’t and won’t speak to it.

And I guess that’s where the story begins.

In 2009 my best friend who remains so to this day plays me Immolate Yourself for the first time - bearing in mind they and I are slightly different people, probably me more-so than they. Our tastes in music have always been fairly broad. We’ve never been haters of pop-music at all, they’ve always embraced pop more than I but I’ve always appreciated pop. In by brief stint industry-side when I was professionally working, I did form an appreciation for the labour, but in general I still maintain a high appreciation for the craft. In any industry there will always be a valuable critique of culture and bad culture exists everywhere. We must always work to protect the vulnerable at all times, no excuses, and erode imbalances of power.

Back to 2009. The album blows us both away and I’m fairly confident in speaking for us both, changes us forever. We both have immense music libraries having purchased music constantly from young ages, but no matter what we cycle through or have in rotation, Immolate Yourself has always been evergreen. Not to say it’s in daily rotation constantly - it’s not exactly that kind of album. It’s highly emotionally charged and a demanding listen, and sometimes I am listening to it once a day for a given period, but it certainly is highly mood-dependent - more-so than some of the other music in my collection which is completely fine in that not all art has to be hitting at that level.

I remember our conversations about Charles, how shattered we were, our conversations about suicide, mental health - please be aware that at the time, it was rumoured Charles Cooper’s death was due to suicide but later several reports ruled that it wasn’t. That’s that. The purpose of bringing it up is to give context to R and my discussions. Some years prior I had my own mental health diagnosis clarified and had seen some improvements on and off with my personal management, but the rigours of life still presented challenges significant enough to cause extreme frustration, anger and anxiety. I’d say these days, in the year of our Synth Lordz 2020, I’m doing much better and on better medication management and that would still be true.

I don’t go looking for articles or interviews with Joshua Eustis about what his life has been life at all or how things are for him now. I do follow him on twitter and we’ve had a few great, unrelated exchanges. When I bought and had my first listen-through of Dreams Are Not Enough last year, I told him I wanted to delete the rest of my music collection which of-course is hyperbole and he knows that, but as I’ve mentioned elsewhere (this almost always means Instagram), I always want to have these extreme responses to art. It doesn’t have to be all the time, but it has to be at regular intervals, even if they’re separated by long periods of time. Art is so important to me. Sometimes I joke - love you don’t have to work to receive, but art takes labour. Maybe I’m not joking (typical artist wank :P )

Apparat (Sascha Ring) was one of those artists I never bought back in 2009 but he was always in the playlists, always at the festivals. Maybe he did remixes? Or his music was being remixed. I dug his stuff, it was pretty cool, but back then he was probably in the periphery for me. He, like many for me, faded into the background. Because I follow Joshua/Telefon on Twitter, I randomly see a retweet or an exchange between him and Apparat, probably about software or plugins etc., and think far-out, Apparat’s still around... and he released an album in March (2019). I’m going to go have a bit of a listen and if it’s good HOLY SHIT...

To help me characterise what I hear when I listen to LP5, I’ve included a very important album from Tosca, interestingly released at the beginning of our bookend; No Hassle. I don’t really know what the zeitgeist is on this album, but my completely uninformed instinct is to say it’s not popular. For me, tho, No Hassle is absolutely divine. It’s an astonishing listen because it’s in some ways *unexciting* - it’s a severely sober listen. There’s next to no energy in it at all, even when Richard and Rupert dare to tilt into a major key, they’re still listlessly meandering along as if they got up too late or are still sitting in an old sofa or are just happy enough to be strolling and the conversation is good enough at a moderate level before we head back down as the sun sets and the night swallows everything up. It’s an album I listen to almost exclusively in the car during night drives, or in either my house or in hotels, airports, any other environment but always when it’s dark. Cheesily I call these works “Midnight Albums”, and I tend to characterise them as serious listening, when I’m feeling meditative, pensive, neutral, dead-sticking, however you may wish to describe the sensation.

LP5 is along very similar veins for me and it strikes me as extremely interesting. Sascha didn’t exactly disappear for 10 years, his wiki page lists two other albums in 2011 and 2013 respectively as well as other collaborations and work, but to me, just the sound of this album strikes me as particularly unique to being distinct from the years gone by. That sounds like a redundant statement - that might be true of everything altho with art I often don’t think that’s the case at all, but when I first heard LP5, I thought Sascha - shit’s happened to you. I don’t know what it is, but then I figure...

Shit’s happened to us all.

Anyone well inducted into the Anjunabeats cult (lol it’s a joke, you can laugh - I’m a fellow cultist) of trance will be familiar with Andrew Bayer. A good thing the Anjuna label seems to be doing and more of of late, is funnelling some of their phat stacks of cash to their talent so they can actually record full albums if they wish, a venture which I’m sure isn’t profitable for them in any way unless they go on tour, contingent of-course on the material being shoppable. I’m sure that makes Spencer Brown a darling - not having a go at him, I love both his albums to death, they’re amazing, but I genuinely don’t think there’s any pressure on the artist to produce tourable music. I feel Andrew has the latitude to do whatever he wants, and he works at the shoppable remixes because it’s fun for him and they have a wonderful community of talent in constant contact with one another so the opportunities are there.

In 2013, Andrew Bayer releases his album which upon hearing I instantly buy. It’s a pretty neat departure from all things trance - it’s beaty, synthy, broken samples and pushing at ambient at times. Then I get to the amazing last track titled “Closing Act”. This is 100% without question inspired by and styled after the music of Jóhann Jóhannsson.

On the 9th of February, 2018, Jóhann Jóhannsson dies.

I’ve just come back from stepping away from this writing for about two hours. I appreciate people interact with art, artists, performers and people of varying level of exposure (read: celebrities) in different ways so let’s just bypass any discussion of how other people behave. It’s fine. As for me, I try to maintain what I believe to be a healthy sense of distance from people of cultural note. They’re still people; human beings, and I don’t know them. Actors and musicians had died before, artists I’d “grown up with”, admired etc., but Jóhann‘s death struck me with force. It still haunts me.

Why?

I don’t know him. I never knew him. For all I know, he may have been an arsehole to everyone around him. I had to and still interrogate my emotional response and I very much do it with the greatest of intent. Is it stupendously capitalist? Am I so entrenched in my lust for his music? His product? That is literally all I can say I know of him; what he produced - what he gave, what he offered. Is it because I want more? No - not really. There are artists still alive who have chosen not to offer more and I have no problem accepting this. There are artists who have more to offer and aren’t able to due to the economics of power and the power of economics and I’m certainly angry about that while they’re alive. I grieved for Jóhann. I was so upset. I shut myself in my studio and cried.

In some way, regardless of not knowing anything at all about the circumstances of his death, I felt that we had all failed.

Knowing even in the smallest element that mental health was a contributing factor to his life and death leads me to make assumptions about the kind of world he may have existed in, what his experience may have been. Regardless of whatever differences there might be between his experiences, now finite, and my own, I still believe there is justification to draw parallels. Not because he’s semi-famous, but because we are both humans, and that it is known he struggled with mental health. It is as much about known, documented and shared stories of services, medications and social experiences as it is about everything that is unspoken that all people with mental health concerns know. We may not know to what degree we might have commonalities, but the one thing we may have in common is that there are so many things we cannot share - speak, or expose, and there are things at times we feel we must not expose in order to survive. It is at this point I must emphasise that health professionals will always dispense such advise as “You’re never alone/you never have to carry burdens alone” etcetera etcetera and I value the intention in such actions. I’m here to appreciate the goodwill behind such advice, but purely by nature of existence, we are each of us alone - this is not an emotional fact, this is simply reality. You cannot inhabit our bodies and minds and live our lives for us - nor can you overcome our physiological concerns internally on our behalf. You can offer us medications but it is still we who have to bear the process of evaluating whether we can endure the experience of synthesising them.

Professionals need to always respect that fact and never forget it.

This is key when I interrogate my emotional response and reaction to Jóhann Jóhannsson‘s death. I don’t know what treatments he may have been receiving but I also don’t know what his life experience was, because treatment in and of itself is less than one half of the equation, perhaps not even a third. The total texture of a human’s experience is woven from so many fibres; and one of them is the cultural response of the people surrounding them, from the immediate individuals to generalised language in use within earshot to advertising unwillingly overheard to adopted via accepted use over time to idioms adopted when people have literally no idea what words mean and what they can mean and how they can directly affect others.

Am I blaming this nebulous spectre of Society? Of-course not. Am I wanting to focus a microscope on the microcosm of communities within this idea of Society or induce guilt on individuals? Also no. But there is still a sensation of endemic guilt and carelessness that we do not make better attempts, perhaps not even to approach a comprehensive understanding of mental health, but at least to triage some of the casual damage we do by being completely careless with it with poor cultural practice. It’s such a difficult thing to speak to because the terms are at one moment so specific and yet the next so generalised. What are we to do? How can we improve when it’s no-one’s fault and yet everyone’s fault? How can we be effective if we want to discard useless, terrible and outdated ideas like blame and backwards accountability and yet we haven’t even begun to understand how the shape of our behaviour is having such devastating effects?

The cost is literally human life.

The interrogation goes further. Why only Jóhann? Why don’t I mourn every death? At the risk of diverting to whataboutism, it’s still worth asking, because it’s clear I valued his life because of his art, and it can’t be avoided that I list Bill Hamel for the same reason. Balance 003 is for me the best collection of minimal trance in history and there has never been another since, the genre has evolved and as yet has not been revisited. Bill himself joined with some friends to work on some more upbeat and detailed music but then himself died in June of 2018, but I wasn’t to find out for months and again, was shattered. I didn’t know Bill either but there were more anecdotal accounts of his personality available online, and they certainly were glowing and positive, and that’s how I think of him - fondly, regardless of not knowing him.

Later in 2018 Andrew Bayer released his next album. It’s a collection of vocal pieces, and the final song is titled End Of All Things. Eerily but welcomed, many of its musical stylings begin to resemble Jóhann Jóhannsson‘s, and Alison May lends her voice to lyrics that include the following;

Roll down the aisle You were bold to go first With a fist to the earth

I don’t like to quote a lot of lyrics, and you can look the rest of them up if you want, but if you do, like me, you might interpret the song to be about death. I don’t know if Andrew Bayer wrote this for Jóhann Jóhannsson, or only for him or at all. He probably wrote it for someone else entirely, probably someone he actually personally knew. Maybe he just wrote it about death in general. It doesn’t matter because for me it was the first catalyst in musical form for processing Jóhann Jóhannsson‘s death in some dimension. It wouldn’t be until much later, when Justin/Telefon Tel Aviv retweeted Siavash Amini that I’d find art as powerful as Jóhann's and Andrew’s and of-course Justin’s own, but each artist is their own texture and I listen to them all in different ways when in different moods.

2019 - Dreams Are Not Enough

There is so much more writing I can do with this short list of albums. I’m at 2800+ words and I’ve barely scratched the surface. That first, dull image at the top of the piece is the directory structure of my music collection, replicated on the hard-drive that goes into my car and on my personal music player - I don’t use my phone for music. While I do listen to music from every directory over time, of late I’m gravitating more and more to two main folders; Ultimate and Survival, and almost all of the music from the list in this piece comes from those two directories with only one or two exceptions.

I’m a bit miffed I didn’t get to write about The 1975, there’s some great stuff to be said about their work and I’ve written about them before, but I have so much more to say, especially culminating with Love It If We Made It as a generational, cultural proclamation. We’re on the verge of the new album tho (time of writing is 29th February 2020) so who knows, maybe I’ll get the opportunity to be topical with that but knowing me, I’ll still bury it behind a wall of text but that will be for the better, I’m sure.

I need to close on Dreams Are Not Enough, tho, and also Kentucky Route Zero. I think I’ve mentioned it before - completing Kentucky Route Zero was the catalyst for me to start writing again, and it’s there in the timeline that the first act released in January of 2013. Last tumblr entry, I briefly touched on being in a holding pattern until KRZ was completed by its developer, Cardboard Computer, and since completing it, I’ve gone off socials which means I’ve greatly diminished my activity on social media and returned to long-format writing. This entry and the last on tumblr are very much evidence of that. Way back in 2013 when I first completed that first act, Kentucky Route Zero was one of those seminal experiences I felt was made just for me. After years of playing all sorts of traditional video games, I’d grown tired of their play dynamics in many senses. I still liked traditional games, and in some ways still do now, but I will always hunger for boundaries to be pushed, for greater things to be said, for things to be said and done in conjunction and in parallel; in layers and simultaneously; artfully, with complexity and subtlety, or with simplicity but with great humanity and maturity. I remember watching Serial Experiments: Lain, the first episode and feeling like it was made just for me, and then that feeling being amplified a million times over with Haibane Renmei and Texhnolyze. There are reasons these works are so rare and so unpopular. Again - I’ll reaffirm I still love a lot of pop and there’s nothing wrong with generalised and widely celebrated art at all, a lot of it’s cool. But when you find something so unique that speaks so much to your experience in a way that’s powerful to the point of dialect...

That is what Kentucky Route Zero and Porpentine’s Howling Dogs are to me.

That’s what these albums are to me, and Telefon Tel Aviv’s albums somehow have book-ended this period in my life. Each album captures a facet of turbulence, of emotion, probably a little bit of joy, or chaos and a healthy dose of hedonism too, but I have other music for that and I tend not to talk about it much. I’m sure joy and euphoria can be complicated for others and that’s cool, but it’s not something I feel drawn to discuss.

All of this art, this Art Worth Dying For, seems to be the only thing I can engage with at the moment, in the wake of completing Kentucky Route Zero. I have shooty shooty games sitting on the Playstation that I once did really enjoy and probably will again, I don’t know. But right now I can’t bear the thought of booting them up. I think about some of the films I was keen to see some months ago and right now they look like noise, indistinct, boring to the point of textureless, falvourless null-space. I don’t mean to insult these works in any way at all, I’m not trying to diminish their value by saying by comparison to KRZ, they’re bad. Not at all. I don’t seem to be able to process them. The closest thing I can describe is the kind of mood disorders, dysthymia being one of them, doctors used to try and diagnose me with before they knew I was bipolar; a literal chemical barrier that’s preventing me from comprehending and interpreting the data I’m being presented with. I’ve lost hold of the cultural frame I’m supposed to have to understand how to place these objects in reference to my sense of entertainment and engagement.

So instead I come here and talk to myself with barely an objective in mind, other than to perhaps share my thoughts with you. And some music that I’m hoping you’ll buy. I know I’m a pain in the arse for that, and I know buying music is an immensely privileged thing to be able to do - I get it. You don’t have to buy everything right away, but if you want me to make a case for it, let me know and I will, I’ll even make a case for small steps i.e., even when you can’t afford much and how to spend a really tiny amount. Otherwise proceed as normal and click onto the next visual diary, nothing to see here.

#chrono #2020 #music #Jóhann Jóhannsson #Bill Hamel #Telefon Tel Aviv #Apparat #Andrew Bayer #Kentucky Route Zero #mental health #psychiatry #language #art worth living for #art worth dying for #Dreams Are Not Enough #writing about music

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laurapausinifinland · 7 years

Text

Anni miei

I still carry a very distinctive memory of something that happened to me 23 years ago as a 7-year-old. It was one of my daily routines with my mom, watching american soap opera ”Bold and the Beautiful” when during one of the commercial breaks there was Laura with the album ”Laura” and ”Gente”, ”Strani Amori” or something like that. I just remember the voice, the sweet melody and the pretty girl sitting on a beige cushion. And how it all hit me. It was love at first listen, at first look or however you wanna think of it...anyhow the feeling hasn’t faded in 23 years.

Then, ”Laura” album and especially the song ”Amori Infiniti” were my ultimate favourites and in fact for many years to come after that. Never getting old though how much time would go by. The melodies, the voice and lyrics I’d always go back to. The tunes of my childhood. I literally listened the same album for another seven years because I was totally unaware of any other LP albums being released until it was time for another tv-commercial this time about ”Tra Te e Il Mare”. Needless to say how I adored to hear again the familiar voice and sounds that had gone stronger during the years. Eagerly I translated the lyrics to Finnish with a dictionary in my hand and zero Italian classes in my head.

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Tra Te e il mare, 2000

The following ”The Best of: E Ritorno da Te” was basically a brand new album for me! While waiting for her English album to be published I collected slowly her albums along the years.. some were harder to find in Finland than others. But I was learning her story. With her singing I also discovered the beauty of Spanish and Italian languages which I began later to study. With ”From the Inside” I remember the fresh sound brought by the language change. I loved it how I didn’t need a dictionary anymore to understand what she was singing about! And even though she hadn’t written any of the songs on the album I still recognized her. Her image had changed but it was still her. Even today I’m still the most saddest about this album not being as successful as it should have deserved to be. But even without the chart success she is equally amazing singer and performer also in English.. or in any language she chooses to sing. Americas, UK, the entire English speaking market – you have no idea what you’re missing.

”Resta in Ascolto” was the first album I remember to have really been waiting for. I remember the excitement of hearing the first 30 sec. of the title song and finally seeing the music video for the first single. How carefully I listened the album and its every note when I finally had it in my hands. I loved it already then but who knew how much more these songs would mean to me during the years to come. These were the days when I started to think about my own LP page for the first time. But with a lack of technical skills and social media the idea stayed as just as an idea.

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Come se non fosse stato mai amore, 2004

In 2006 Laura was a Grammy and a Latin Grammy winner. I knew these awards meant so much more on national level in Italy but my joy and pride were dedicated only for her as a person and as an artist who had created something amazing and really deserved the credit, on an international level for that. On ”Io Canto” I was one of those who had never been exposed the poetry and beauty of the music Laura had chosen on the album. It was educating, refreshing and eyes opening. Not only in Laura’s musical life but also in Italian music in general. She sounds so amazing when she gives in to someone else’s writing. There’s something very fragile and emotional compared to when she sings her own pieces. After being a fan of 12 years I finally joined to the official fan club.

Before 2007 San Siro Stadium did not say much to me, especially since I don’t watch football. At all. I did not understand the fuss around the concert but when the DVD/CD came out… from the first notes on – I knew. I think there will not be a concert or a live release that could top San Siro 2007. Even today I cannot watch it without crying at the end. The emotion tops over everything even through tv screen - nevermind that your favourite song isn’t included or the camera crew was kind of lost for the entire evening.. the faults don’t count. It would also be the one (out of the live releases) I’d recommend to someone who’s never seen or heard of Laura before. All the essential parts are there.

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Una storia che vale - live 2007

Personally ”Primavera in Anticipo” predicted what was coming to me in my personal life. During these years Laura visited Finland for several times, doing concerts and promo visits but I had not gone to any of them. Because I was shy, because I was young and did not know anyone else who’d like her music too. I literally kept her in a closet and only a few people knew about my passion for her. I was different than the other teens and I avoided bumping into opposite opinions that I didn’t wanna hear. So I kept all of this to myself.

But on May 20th in 2009, it was Wednesday. The day had come when I would see her live for the very first time in my life. 15 years after falling in love with her on the album ”Laura”. I did not take a single photograph nor video. I couldn’t. Too distracting. I was just 100% on concentrated staring at her, listening to her, memorizing every sound, gesture and move she made. I was blown away by her presence and voice. Unable to believe that I was actually breathing the same air with her and sitting only a few meters away from her. I cried during the first songs. I sang with her every note until the end but I can only remember a handful of moments during the concert lasting over two hours. The most beautiful ones of my life which I thought for a long time would never happen. But it did happen. And again. On October 1st, seven years ago I traveled to Rome, Italy to attend the official Fan Club Party. The one and only I’ve ever been to. Another unique experience. I met so many people I had met online, on the FC forum who’d become my friends in real life too without never meeting them face to face. Some I haven’t met again since but the feeling of friendship is still very much alive.

In 2011 I was in a crossroads and going through a difficult stage in my life and so I was not ready for ”Inedito”’s optimism and maturenes. It took me two years to understand the beauty of this album and to feel the words as my own. And how important it was to have these songs by my side when I was going through the things I did. Today it remains one of the best works of Laura and I find it criminal that it wasn’t at least nominated for Latin Grammy as its three predecessors.

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Mi tengo, 2011.

As what it comes to her 20th anniversary release ”Greatest Hits” I couldn’t have imagined it to be done in any better way. It was so respectful for the old, but still with a modern touch adding new depth to the familiar songs and including even some of her less known work but which have shaped her career. It was such a perfect release! In 2014 I had my own 20th anniversary with her.

Between 2011-2014 I met Laura three times briefly, in Spain, UK and Canada. No words can describe these encounters but I gotta try at least. To meet the woman who’s voice has been speaking to me for 20 years. Whose words, emotions, melodies and music have been accompaning me for every step of the way. Hers as much as mine. Songs that were maybe a bit too adult for a 7-year-old to understand I listen today with a different perspective and wisdom.

In 2014 I did what I’ve always wanted to do: created my own LP page. Even though it’s a FB one but at least it’s technically do-able for me and maybe even better way to reach people in these days than a traditional website. I wanted and still want to create a place for Finnish and international LP fans around the world where to go crazy about the most and least favorite LP songs, facts, albums, lyrics, stories, videos, translations, photos etc. Besides of FB I have a similar Tumblr page also. On Youtube and Spotify I love to create different playlists. I put a lot of effort, time and thought on my posts and I appreciate every like and comment people give even though without single reaction I do create these posts mainly for my own pleasure. My site isn’t one of those fastest growing like the Spanish/Italian speaking ones on FB but I’m proud of every 1015 (I have at the moment) friends I have.

”Simili” did ”Inedito” to me. In 2015, again I was in a difficult spot in my life. Even though I didn’t exactly feel simili I still realized its greatness. The diversity between musical genres. Richness in lyrics, using talented new songwriters bringing a fresh sound. The songs grew in me for much after its release. And like ”Inedito” I hold it one of the or maybe the THE deepest and most mature LP album so far.

As the 3-year-anniversary of my FBpage I wanted to share my childhood favourite ”Amori Infiniti” with you. For being a LP fan for the most of my life, we’ve come such a long way together. Because that’s where it all began and how this site is just a continuing piece in my LP story as in my personal life. Back in 1994 there was only ”Laura” album and this song topping everything else but today after all the years, experiences, albums and songs I couldn’t name my favorite LP album even if I wanted to. Too many great ones. Fitting into different moments in life and unable being compared against each other.

However ”Laura” stays classic. Classic 90’s. Classic Laura. So I do hope you enjoy this rarity. With me. Now and in the future. Thank you for reading.

Amori infiniti, 1994

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#laurapausini #my story #3years #fan #italian music #popmusic #ballad #facebook #fanpage

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spreadplaylist · 7 years

Conversation

SPREAD CH.2 ARTIST SPOTLIGHT - Taylor Jamison

Hi SPREAD listeners! I hope everyone has been having a meaningful Pride month while enjoying the PRIDE playlist! The featured artist off SPREAD CH. 2 is dear friend of mine and a force to be reckoned with. Get a glimpse below of Taylor Jamison's life as an unapologetic songwriter and artist. HERE WE GO!

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Taylor: Hey hey, my name is Taylor Jamison and I’m a songwriter/singer right here in most-of-the-time-sunny Los Angeles! I’m originally from Boulder, CO, but have been living here in LA for a second now, writing for some amazing new artists, and creating some cool tunes under my name as well!

Dan: Hi Taylor! Welcome! I am so glad that u are PRIDE's featured artist. You are a songwriting beast who is constantly on the grind. I'm excited for people to hear about ur career and your thoughts about the industry, so let's get started.

Describe a typical day in the life of a songwriter. What do u enjoy the most about it?

Taylor: I’d say a typical day in the studio with me, at least, is catching up on life with whoever I’m working with, joking around, sharing funny moments of the week, usually someone has a good hook up/sex story as well. My favorite part is that, from these shared moments, a story unfolds itself. I see myself as a “Storyteller for the Ears,” so whether it’s myself singing the song or another artist, I love being able to share a moment/feeling in time through music and watching how people react to it.

Dan: I would say that u just perfectly summed up the reason songwriters do what they do! It's all about the story and the connection. In finding this connection for yourself, describe the place that makes you feel the most inspired creatively.

Taylor: I absolutely LOVE the beach because it’s so many things to me. Gentle, but powerful. Beautiful, with a dark side. Tranquil, yet full of energy. It makes me nostalgic for days passed, while making me think forward into the future. I love going out and laying by myself with a notebook, letting the sound wash over me until the words start falling out of my head onto the paper.

Dan: LA beaches are definitely hard to beat, too! I could use a beach day myself. It's a great way to reset and get those creative juices flowing. After running through all of those emotions we then get to the actual songwriting process. Now you have countless songs to ur name. Out of those, what song of yours are u most proud of? Why?

Taylor: Ooooooo, this is a hard one. I’m gonna have to have a tie on this between, “Down”, and, “The Last Time”. When putting together the production and sound scape of, “Down”, I really wanted to create a sense of longing because that’s essentially what that song is: it’s the complete taking-down of your walls for somebody because you want to fall completely into them, letting yourself be vulnerable so they know just how much you want them. For, “The Last Time”, I decided to keep that song with just piano and vocals because adding production was going to end up making it sound cheesy, and this song has such a powerful sense of nostalgia that I wanted it to almost seem completely empty, just like how you feel sometimes when you think back on someone from your past. Plus, that key change is life (have to toot my own horn on that one lolz), I want more artists to do key changes again!!!

Dan: Girl, key changes are UNDERRATED. When done just right, they can completely change a song for me. The key change in "The Last Time" makes me scream every single time. I think we could see them make a comeback.

Now, just like anyone on this journey, there are numerous high and low points. Tell us about when the music industry has maybe made you feel inadequate. How did u overcome this?

Taylor: Ummmm, the industry can make you feel inadequate on almost a daily basis if you let it, honestly. I’d be lying if I were to say that every day is a walk in the park, cause it’s not: you feel like you're constantly trying to prove to the world that you’re talented, yet it falls on deaf ears. However, I think the cure for those feelings of inadequacy is surrounding yourself with amazing people who are just as creative, driven and positive as you are, but always making sure to be humble. Nobody likes a cocky bitch, ever, lolz.

Dan: You are speaking TRUTH in this interview, girl. Surrounding yourself with positivity is almost the only way to get through those moments of feeling inadequate. And you're right, nobody enjoys being around cockiness, even though there can be a lot of that in this industry.

As you surround yourself with driven and encouraging people, I know that also includes artists u look to for inspiration. Tell us about an artist/songwriter who inspires u. What about their artistry/ability would you like to emulate in your own?

Taylor: To kick it a bit old school, I’m gonna say Elton John because I think he was so groundbreaking and just what was needed in the world to move forward progressively. He was completely unafraid to be flamboyant and unapologetically homosexual in a time that it was still not acceptable in public overall. Plus, with Bernie Taupin on the lyrics and Elton on the melodies, they made some prettyyyyyyyy amazing music that still stands the test of time, if I don’t say so myself.

Dan: Elton is a legend and an icon, especially for what he did for queer visibility in the mainstream. I had to include him as a part of the PRIDE playlist. It would have been a crime not to, honestly.

I have mentioned earlier that u are pretty much on the go all the time, whether it's working on ur own stuff or writing for other artists. In the midst of everything u have going on, how do u manage a busy schedule and stress? How do you recharge when u need to?

Taylor: I actually work WAY better on a busy schedule, so I’m a fan of back to back sessions, all week long! But, when I do need a little break, I love getting out of LA for a sec and visiting places like San Diego, Palm Springs, Santa Barbra and more. I also love having parties with my friends, dancing around, being gay, playing beer pong. Oh, and Tequila. Tequila is always an answer to stress and busy schedules (Silver Tequila only though).

Dan: I think that LA is such an encompassing city that sometimes the only solution to getting a break is getting out. I do the same thing. Also, I did not know u liked playing beer pong! I sense a duel between you and me coming soon...

Looking past u only liking silver tequila (sorry I had to throw some shade), what do u think is the biggest misconception people have about working in this industry?

Taylor: Oh lordy, probably that you can just show up in town and become a super star. Sorry to say it, but being a cocky bitch doesn’t get you very far hahah. The only way you’re becoming an overnight pop star is if mommy and daddy are loaded, or a family member is tied into a label somehow. Gotta put in the work to really earn respect from people, at least in my book.

Dan: There are many, many people that agree with u! This industry easily and quickly exposes true talent and true intention. I love how honest and open u are.

Touching on your openness, how has ur identity influenced or affected your journey as a songwriter and artist?

Taylor: I think being gay totally influences my journey as both a songwriter and as an artist because it’s not, “normal”, per say. It doesn’t fit the cookie cutter mold of what a male pop artist has been for the past 5+ decades, so it’s sometimes difficult for people to want to get behind something still so new and not fully understood. But, even though it sometimes makes the journey harder, I wouldn’t change it for the world because I feel like it brings such a unique and interesting view to songs that straight men, and even women can’t entirely relate to.

Dan: I am holding onto hope that as time continues, more queer artists will be accepted as major label and mainstream like their straight counterparts. I think that progress in this aspect will really be made by people just like u, who are unapologetically themselves. What advice would you give to up and coming LGBTQ+ songwriters and artists?

Taylor: I would emphasize not trying to hide who you are, letting it all fall out, even if it’s hard to do. We’re in a time where LGBTQ kids need role models, people that they can say they want to grow up to be like. Unlike straight men and women, LGBTQ kids have had to feel the need to hide who they are from such a young age so as to “fit in” with normal, American society; now is the time for us to live our lives to the fullest so we can keep paving the road towards the future. (I felt like a motivational speaker there on a soap box lolz.)

Dan: U are dead on. The more LGBTQ artists and musicians that are in the spotlight, the more LGBTQ kids and youth will see that it really is okay to be themselves. We have to watch out for our LGBTQ youth as much as possible because our government doesn't seem to look out for them enough...

I am sure thinking through these questions has made u, in a way, look back on your own journey as an artist and songwriter. So what would you has been the biggest highlight of your career as an artist/songwriter so far?

Taylor: I think one of the coolest moments so far was opening for Bonnie McKee at OC Pride in 2014. Even though I now look back on my outfit and shake my damn head, it was so amazing to meet her in person, definitely one of my songwriting idols!

Dan: Hahaha, that's incredible. How cool that u were able to open for her at a Pride event! She is a songwriting queen. Definitely an idol of mine, too! (For those of you that don't know Bonnie, u can thank her for hits like 'Teenage Dream,' 'California Gurls,' 'Dynamite,' and 'Hold It Against Me.')

Taylor, it's time for my signature question. What artist/album/song have u had on repeat lately?

Taylor: Ok, album for SURE would be Kehlani’s, “Sweet Savage Sexy”: that shit is AMAZING. I’m also digging The 1975, Jon Bellion, Blackbear and Julia Michaels. “Issues”-Julia Michaels, “Do-Re-Mi”-Blackbear, “Escape”-Kehlani, “Bad Liar”-Selena Gomez and “Death Wish”-Terror Jr are definitely the go-to songs on repeat currently!!!

Dan: This list is SO solid. U know Kehlani has a soft spot in my heart. I was so excited to include her on SPREAD CH.2 as well!

Now that we are sadly wrapping up this Artist Spotlight, how can we check out ur music and stay up to date with ur releases/posts? Anything we should especially be on the lookout for?

Taylor: My Insta/Twitter handle is @TaylorJamison77, and you can listen to my shit on Spotify, Apple Music, iHeart Radio and more under Taylor Jamison! Also, you can check out Matthew John’s EP, “Chain Reaction” on all streaming sites as well (I wrote the title track, “Chain Reaction”!). In the next few months I’ll be having some new music come out, as well as some more releases with other artists (follow me on Insta for the most up to date info, as I share mostly on there. Plus, my InstaStory’s are usually pretty fun, from what I’ve heard!)

Dan: I can attest that Taylor is very fun to follow on social media! Everyone PLEASE go check his pages and his music out, and then go give his song '(Never Gonna) Change For You' another listen on PRIDE! Thank u so much for being so real with us, girl. I cannot wait to see ur name in lights one day.

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Thank u for tuning into the second SPREAD Artist Spotlight! Big thanks to Taylor Jamison for serving some tea today and giving us a closer look at his career as a gay singer/songwriter.

I hope u all enjoy the last few days of PRIDE month! I can't believe it's almost over. In just a couple of days a new playlist will be gracing the SPREAD website, and this one is about to be veryyy refreshing... ;)

Cover e v e r y inch!

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o0yono0o · 7 years

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"Zombies, Run!" - the app that changes lives

Did an app ever change your life? Did an app ever make you laugh, cry, yell - while making you healthier? Did an app ever get you so caught up in a story that you forgot the world around you while listening to it? The app “Zombies, Run!” does all of those things for me on a weekly basis.

Seeing how my favorite app ever is currently celebrating its fifth anniversary, I thought I would tell you once again just why you should try “Zombies, Run!”

I have been running on and off for ten years. Back in early 2007, I think, I began because I wanted to lose weight. It did help. And I did get in much better shape. But I never really made it past 5 km runs. I got bored.

Soon to be three years ago, in May 2014, I saw a Tumblr post describing an app in which you ran from zombies while being a part of an awesome story line. Having been more off than on running for a couple of years at the time, I decided to give it a try.

I have never regretted it.

I remember it vividly. The first time I played “Zombies, Run!”. It was May 29, 2014, at 10.06 AM. I pressed that “Start mission” button, and then I wasn’t in Copenhagen anymore. I was on a helicopter, making my way over an apocalyptic England towards a small settlement called Abel Township.

Only before I reached the township, my helicopter was shot down by an unknown party. Having survived the crash, I had to run through a zombie-infested area to get to safety, with a stranger named Sam talking to me in my headset, guiding my way. “I’m gonna call you Runner 5,” he told me. I have been Runner 5 ever since. And now I have even managed to finish a 25 km run. That’s quite a bit more than the 5 km ones I began with.

The glory of this app is that YOU are Runner 5, and Runner 5 can be ANYONE. The characters talk to you, but they never indicate gender, age, or looks. It also doesn’t matter whether you go on short or long runs, or even whether you run or not - you can also walk the missions, if you want. What the characters do tell you, however, is how important you are to Abel Township. That what you do matter. You become a hero.

As you run, you make your way through an amazing story line: Each mission is an episode in a season, as if you’re running a tv show. There are currently five seasons. The writers are working on a sixth. I am continuously amazed at the twist and turns of the story, the character development, the “ohfuckingshitthatdidnotjusthappen” moments … And that’s saying something, because I can be a picky skeptic.

You can use your own music playlist for your runs. Every mission has music breaks between the sound clips. During these breaks, you also pick up items to expand your base in the app. And (if you choose to put that setting on) you can get zombie chases - which means that when the app tells you that zombies are approaching, you have to speed up to get away from them. It’s great for interval training, and it’s completely optional; you can turn it on and off.

All in all, I want to recommend this app to anyone who needs motivation to get out there and move your body - or to anyone who wants to listen to a well-written and exciting post-apocalypse story with zombies and lovable people. And if you’re just starting out and would like a training program to follow, you can also check out their “Zombies, Run! 5k” app, which guides you through eight weeks of training, from couch to 5 km runs. The story line is not as “on the edge of your seat” as the original app, but still very captivating.

So what are you waiting for? Go find it where you usually buy your apps! The first season is free, the rest costs less than 200 DKK a year, and it is money well spent. And then let me know how much you enjoyed it!

#zombiesrun #ZR #zombies run #runner 5 #Abel Township #change your life #Zr fandom #sixtostart #Sam Yao

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thotyssey · 7 years

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On Point With: DJ Brian Richards

This DJ is just as much at home spinning the big sexy parties, the neighborhood bar throwbacks and/or the drag shows. Meet one of NYC’s busiest music masters, Brian Richards!

Thotyssey: Brian, hello! DJ Brian Richards: Hi Jim! I just want to start by saying thanks so much for the interview. Thotyssey is one of my favorite blogs, and I've enjoyed reading it in the last year! Kudos to you.

Many thanks! So, we're getting into some nice weather, finally... are you enjoying it?

I am loving this weather... this is my favorite time of year. In fact, it was the spring of 2010, I believe, when I started getting inspired to becoming a serious DJ. What was specifically going on around that time that sparked the idea? Well, I seem to get more creative in the spring and the fall. That year specifically is when I discovered new mixing programs and more access to music; the more I dove into it I thought, “Wow I think I can actually DJ!” Plus, I was really loving the dance music that was out around that time. Remind us of an example of what was big that year. Well, the first song that comes to mind is "DJ Got Us Falling In Love" by Usher and Pitbulll. I was drawn to songs specifically made for the dancefloor, and aimed at just having fun. That was the trend then, and it sparked so many songs in that realm. And of course there was Kesha, Gaga, Rihanna and Queen Bee, and all the pop divas we've grown to love over the years. The classics!

So, where's your hometown?

I grew up in Woodbridge, NJ. And what were you into growing up there, like creatively or otherwise? My love for music dates as far back as I can remember. I also was a little comedian: I loved playing out skits with friends and imitating TV shows. Laughter and music then, and to this day, are my two loves.

My parents had given me a portable record player, and they had a collection of old 45's. I would spend hours playing that, probably more than any toys I had. One of my favorites as a kid was "The Monster Mash." They had the actual record. One day in probably 4th grade, I talked the teacher into bringing my record player in class for Halloween, and I played that record for all the kids in their Halloween costumes. They all danced around, and I just remember laughing hysterically. It was pure joy! So I guess I had the DJ gene in me from a little kid!

I would make [my friends] play with me that we were on the radio. We would make actual tapings of "shows," just being silly and pretending to put on a radio show. Hell, I did that into my early teens [laughs]! Sounds like the perfect DJ origin story!

When did you start to become exposed to NYC nightlife?

It goes back pretty far... farther then I admit sometimes [laughs]! I started going out in the early 90′s, if you can believe it! I made a friend in high school who was older then his years. He knew all the places in the city, and took me to them.

At that time, the places in the city we explored were the Dugout in the Village (now Rockbar), The Palladium... I think there was a place called "The Tool," if I'm not mistaken... Uncle Charlies... God, all these legendary places.

The first gay club I ever walked into was in New Jersey at the legendary Den, which sadly just closed last year. I spent the 90's in Jersey at a place called the Colosseum, and would venture to New York for the Roxy, the original XL, and G Lounge, to name a few. I was lucky enough in recent years to play at both the Den and G Lounge. What's your favorite environment to DJ in? You know, for me the environment isn't as important as the crowd. If it's a fun crowd that loves to sing and dance, then I'll play there! I've done everything from small bars to rooftop events, and they all have their share of great memories.

Do you have any strong opinions on who should or shouldn't be considered a "DJ" based on what they bring to the gigs, the tech they use, etc.? This has been an ongoing debate among nightlife professionals. I have so much admiration and respect for the old school DJs who learned it "the hard way" with turntables. I can only speak from my own experience using my Traktor Pro software on my laptop and a controller that, yes, may make it "easier" in the regard of mixing... but your talent must still be on point. You still must know how to read the crowd, know who you are playing for, and have the chops to deal with all the rejection and ups and downs that come with this business. The bottom line is how you left that crowd feeling. So anyone who has staying power in nightlife, it did not come easy, regardless of the medium they choose.

I do get annoyed by the jokes that "anyone can DJ", etc. Okay, then give it a try and see how easy it is! I dare ya.

It obviously sucks, for a pro like yourself, to see big venues throw money at a Kardashian to basically stand behind a laptop while someone else hits play on an iTunes playlist.

Well, of course. That is an ugly side to pop culture. If you can fill a club regardless of your talent, then money talks.

What advice would you give to someone who wants to break into DJing today? Know your music, know your crowd. Go to the clubs an bars and see what party speaks to you, and get to know the people who run it. And please DO NOT take a gig for little or no money. You are short-selling the rest of us, and lowering the bar!

You were on rotation DJing the Love Age Sundays day parties this spring, which just wrapped things up this past weekend. How did it go?

Yes! I was delighted to be a part of the regular rotation this year at Love Age. Shawn Paul Mazur and Matthew Gagnon had asked me to do the premiere back in February, and I was floored. I had worked with those guys last summer for Fly Sundays, and I have to say their parties are always a blast and I have great respect for them.

My music selections get a great response from their crowd. They love pop, dance and house, and go wild for the throwbacks, especially from the 90's, which has become my "signature" style at these parties.

Love Age wrapped up, but not to worry... we are gearing up for the 4th season of Fly Sundays on May 21st! Fly Sundays, I feel, gets bigger and better every season, and we are ready for the biggest season yet. Working with Shawn, Matthew and the whole gang has been such a thrill and I look forward to the summer!

The kids love Fly Sundays at the Monarch! Do you know when your first day is there this season? I will be the DJ for [there] for May 28th. That's Memorial Day Weekend!

And at a very different venue, you spin the Tyme Machine retro party at Ty's in the West Village monthly.

Yes, and I am proud to say next month our monthly "Tyme Machine" will be celebrating 3 years on Saturday, June 10th!

There is a little back story to how this all came about. When I first came to NYC scoping out places for gigs, by a fluke, POSH Bar was holding a DJ contest "So You Think You Can Spin" back in 2012. I entered the contest and played a 15 minute set, and by luck of the stars the crowd was eating it all up. The contest was supposed to run for a few weeks; they cut it short and granted me a residency on Sundays called "Retro Sundays." That is when I got my first taste of playing retro for the kids and I loved it. It lasted about 8 months. I had to work my day job early on Mondays and the late hours were killing me, so sadly I had to make the decision to leave.

Long story short: I missed my retro nights, and I went to John Steadman who owns Ty's [with the idea of bringing it them there] and he liked the idea. The rest is history.

There’s a lot of great, colorful characters in Ty’s. Bartender Julian is my Bar Crush!

I have made a lot of good friends at Ty's and I love working with Julian. We work so well together, and he makes the night fly by. The crowd can be so much fun, singing along to the disco or 80s classics. I even met one of my idols at Ty's, Elvis Duran, was just hanging out at the bar when I walked in! That was a thrill for me. I have looked up to him for years listening to his morning show on Z-100.

And I understand that you have a new Fire Island Pines gig coming up. I made my debut in the Summer of 2014 DJ-ing for the pool deck, which was amazing. I met so many great people that summer, DJs and drag queens alike. I am however, making my debut at Sip-N-Twirl on Friday, May 12th, and I am elated!

You have a busy and fun summer to look forward to, Mr. DJ. Final question: what is one thing the world may not know about Brian Richards, but should?

Hmm. Well I must say, as social as I have been all these years, I feel like I am constantly on a journey to find a place to fit in! I think I have come close in recent years, though. You've come far indeed! Thanks Brian!

Brian Richards will be on DJ Rotation for FLY Sundays beginning May 28th (3-11pm). He spins “Tyme Machine” at Ty’s monthly, usually second Saturdays (10pm). Check here for other upcoming scheduled gigs. Brian can be followed on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

#djbrianrichards #onpointwith

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musikmusing · 7 years

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ARRIVING AT ‘THE ALTAR’ WITH BANKS: A TRACK-BY-TRACK REVIEW

(By Regan Wojick for Atwood Magazine)

The artist known as BANKS started out somewhat of an enigma. The Los Angeles songstress, who drops her first name Jillian when she hits the stage, rarely ever made waves on the black holes that are Twitter and Instagram. It only added to her mystery. Really, social media presence isn’t entirely necessary when your music speaks for itself. In 2013, she released two EPs, Fall Over and London, lighting a widespread fuse for BANKS . Without breaking a sweat, she absolutely lived up to all of the well deserved hype.

Late in 2014, BANKS put out her first full length, Goddess. The album was on everyone’s playlists, whether they were into pop, indie, electronic, R&B, etc. At the same time BANKS was able to isolate her listeners yet reach out to eclectic groups of people by referencing influences like Tracy Chapman, Fiona Apple, and the Weeknd. Goddess was an in depth look into the pain and passion revolving around love in relationships. Jumping forward two years, after long months of touring and releasing singles here and there, we have arrived at The Altar (released 9/30/2016 via Harvest Records).

In religious terms, the altar is symbolically a place of sacrifice. It may seem like an old-fashioned tradition now, but a majority of weddings have happened at the top of an altar, where the groom awaits his life partner. It raises the important question: Do love and sacrifice go hand in hand?

When BANKS is involved, the answer seems like an absolute yes. Perhaps, it is the sacrifice of giving up independence. However, it is never that simple with the multi-layered singer. With an album like The Altar, you can’t just look inside the thematic box; you need to look around, under, and above the box. It’s possible that the album works as her altar as she bears all in front of the world, when her own timidness could not let her do so before. The Altar is a place where things are front and center. BANKS can be BANKS, with her emotional curtains drawn.

Any fan cannot help but notice the drastic difference between the two albums visually, lyrically, and sonically. On her debut album cover, Goddess, BANKS is almost unrecognizable as she was hiding behind her dark bangs and the deep red album art. Again, running with her mysterious persona. While The Altar’s cover is different in every way possible. The album art is light gray with her au naturale face front and center, embracing her freckles. (What? BANKS has freckles?) Just by the look of the new record, you can sense an aura of change.

She has grown in confidence, and is welcoming it with open arms. With each song, you can hear the gradual evolution of BANKS: from a shy, less controversial singer to an artist with bold lyrics and vocals that are not be messed with. The Altar takes a similar approach following her debut, musically, but amps it up even more. Each beat hits harder and each synth is striking. Although her last album was entitled Goddess, BANKS has embraced the Goddess she is supposed to be more than ever.

Gemini Feed

The opening track of the album sets the mood for what listeners can expect for the next 12 songs to follow: honest, passionate electronic pop music with indisputable soul. BANKS sings each emotional line in a lower, growling almost frustrated, voice. We can all relate to a time when, no matter how loud we spoke, we couldn’t get through to someone; pride works as a barrier, deflecting anything and everything having to do with feelings.

“I tried to say I love you but you didn’t hear me And you’re passive aggressive Convinced me other people they don’t care about me”

BANKS reflects on the way she was treated by her passive aggressive ex. While she was only trying to mend their spiraling relationship, he only brought her, and her crushed ego, down.

So, what exactly does being a Gemini entail you might be wondering? With the growing obsession of astrology signs, it’s slightly shocking that you don’t know, but I’ll refresh your memory. The sign represents a pair of twins, so Gemini’s often have dual personalities and you might not know which personality you’re dealing with. Putting two Gemini’s together might not exactly end in harmony.

“When I said I miss you, you never believed me And we were so depressive You and me together we were Gemini feed”

Likeness and differences can make or break a relationship, and in BANKS’ case, they may have been too similar to work their differences out.

“And to think you would get me to the altar Like I’d follow you around like a dog that needs water But admit it that you wanted me smaller If you woulda let me grow you coulda kept my love”

In the verses, BANKS may have been using a gruff voice, but by the piercing choruses, she was ready to get her point across. Loud and clear. The last chorus is where listeners are properly introduced to The Altar. When she looks back on the relationship she was in, she can hardly believe her love was almost sacrificed to be with a man who made her feel lesser than he.

Fuck With Myself

BANKS gives us a lesson in self-love with the fervent and sexy “Fuck With Myself.” The second track, and the first single released off the album, reeks of imitable confidence. There’s a definite cockiness to song, but it feels more like well deserved self assurance. The song explores different electronic sounds, and uses familiar hip-hop beats making it fall somewhere in the left field pop, R&B region.

The song reiterates, in it’s own unique way, that you need to “fuck with yourself,” or love yourself, before you should step up to the plate to love somebody else. Pushing romance aside, being able to feel and trust yourself is important in all relationships, whether it’s personal or business.

Lovesick

The introduction to “Lovesick” is reminiscent of moments on Goddess, particularly, the heart wrenching ballad “Change.” This time around though, BANKS isn’t recounting the sad moments of a crumbling relationship, nor is it her offering to change herself just to salvage what was left of their love. “Lovesick” is a sweet ode to her love. It narrates the simplicity of an instant love affair; the kind that has a pure, undeniable connection from the start.

This is one of the happier, lighter tunes that BANKS has to offer on the album, which works as a nice contrast to her darker, more intense tracks of heartbreak. The song starts off as a slower piano ballad, but by the end of 3 minute and 20 second track, you’ll undoubtedly be bobbing your head and tapping your foot.

Mind Games

“Mind Games” explores the pain of toxic relationships. As humans, we need confirmation in love; we crave attention and adoration. “Mind Games,” the longest song on the record, brings us into a dark state of mind. It’s heartbreaking to love someone and to know that you can’t, or shouldn’t, be with them. At times, we’re blinded by fond memories, but “Mind Games” focuses on each twisted thing that happened within the relationship.

“I foresee it’s true That you would love me better If I could unscrew All of your moods that make me wanna runaway But I got stuck with faulty legs”

Her ex let let his bad moods get in the way of their own love. Although she knew the kind of man she was partnered with, she could not muster up the courage to leave him. Perhaps, she was afraid she wouldn’t find anyone again.

“You claiming I’m a handful when you show up All empty-handed The way you say you love me like You’ve just been reprimanded Cause I know you like mind games”

It sounds like a war of tug and pull. She had to squeeze the word “love” out of ex’s mouth, and he only ever said it like he was being condemned or forced, which may have been all part of his “game.”

“Do you See me now”

The last line of the song is powerful. She repeats “do you see me now,” and each time it’s uttered out of her mouth, it’s grown stronger. It’s as if she’s saying “look at me, I don’t need you.”

Trainwreck

The fifth track on the record follows behind “Mind Games” with a similar theme, but in a different voice. On “Trainwreck,” BANKS has let her frustration boil over, and she is not being shy about it. The pop, trip-hop track is an absolute banger. We find the songstress practically rapping her biting lyrics over solid electronic beats. BANKS has a unique style of rapping. She speaks each line in a sweeping breathe. She strings words together that just shouldn’t make sense, but of course, they do.

“Talking to ears that have been deaf for as long as I Can remember. A self-medicated handicap so i speak to Myself and i try so hard to get his stupid deaf ears to hear that I’ve become illiterate. I become dumb”

She’s dealing with the same man she’s been dealing with for a long time, and now, she’s over it. Rather than talk to someone who won’t hear her, she’s decided to talk herself out of the mess she’s in. She tried to save him, but realized it was useless when he wasn’t willing.

“And I saved you from your darker days Born to Take care of you Or I thought so Maybe it was just a phase”

Some of us are born as savers: people who so badly want to help those who can’t get up in the morning. BANKS is one of those savers. Some people can’t be helped; if you don’t want the help, then you won’t get it.

“You showed me all your letters that I Should’ve confiscated Both of my eyes were weighted I had to get away”

It’s dangerous to be in a trapped relationship. The walls close in, and there’s no light at the end of a tunnel. BANKS escaped the “trainwreck” that her fate was headed towards and is ready to move on.

Now when people ask me what BANKS is like, this will be the song I play.

This Is Not About Us

BANKS has a smooth way of saying “it’s not me.. It’s you.” In “This Is Not About Us,” she tries to let down a man in her life, who’s been attracted to the idea of a relationship for a long time. Maybe they were short term lovers that didn’t work out. Unfortunately, he didn’t get the memo.

Sonically, this is the most pop she gets on the record. It has a catchy chorus with a radio friendly instrumental.

Weaker Girl

Through the record thus far, we’ve already seen evolution of BANKS not only an artist, but also as a person. She is strong, confident, and candid. Although she didn’t exactly lack candid moments on Goddess, there was some power missing behind some tracks. “Weaker Girl” is a song would have been unfathomable on BANKS’ debut, but on the new record, it makes perfect sense. It echoes the cockiness that we heard previously on “Fuck With Myself” and the self-awareness of “Gemini Feed.”

The dark R&B track is sultry and tempting with the repetitive chorus “I’ma need a bad motherfucker like me.” No matter how sure she sounds in the track, there was a time when BANKS could never say that. And in such an explicit, this-is-what-I-want attitude. She recalls when she was a “weaker girl” and how her ex still wishes she was that girl. When she grew taller, she was seen as a threat. This song is an ode to her newfound badass-ness.

Mother Earth

The only song transition, which is seamlessly beautiful I might add, is between “Weaker Girl” and “Mother Earth.” It might seem like an odd pairing, but it’s a reminder that she is multi-layered, and that for each time she is rough, she is also warmly tender. BANKS’ entire album is certainly full of soul, but with kind words and gentle vocals, “Mother Earth” stands out as the most soulful tune.

BANKS bears all and takes the role of an older sister, a kind neighborhood, a best friend, or a mother figure. The artist has had her fair share of heartbreaks and pain, so she’s reaching out to anyone who might listen. She’s gotten in touch with her roots and femininity, and she’s offering to be that shoulder to lean on.

Judas

Judas: the notorious biblical figure most famous for his kiss of betrayal. His name is now synonymous with traitor. In “Judas,” BANKS bites back at the treason her ex committed. Traitors always seem to be the closest people to us until… they’re not.

Too dumb to deal Too numb to feel the knife in my back

As a younger woman, it’s hard to stand up for yourself. Real life, altering situations can be hard to deal with, and hard to realize.

Beggin me for thread, I think you need to change your brain

This line is kind of a reference to BANKS back in her Goddess days. The tables are turned, now she’s the one with the power and control. She’s grown far beyond the timid and guilty woman she was on her debut.

Haunt

I’ve always felt that BANKS had a witch-y side to her, and “Haunt” slightly confirms my suspicions. The track is spellbinding with tropical beats and experimental production. It sounds like running through a dark, cold forest with crickets and animals of the night.

BANKS holds a steady tempo in an even tone for the duration of the track, almost like she’s hexing her ex. Although her vocals stay in the same range for the majority of the song, there are moments where she channels the lower BANKS growl that I love so much. The tenth track on the album perfectly describes the way we feel “haunted” by people that have left our lives when we most needed them.

Poltergeist

“Poltergeist” and “Haunt” are back to back, making for a sultry pair of songs. “Poltergeist” follows in the same manner, being disturbed by the thought of someone, even when they’re gone. The eerie track’s production does a good job of making the singer sound like she’s, for lack of a better word, possessed in some bits. This song is at the top of my favorites list at the moment because of the crafty lyrics. Again, I can’t stress the importance of her production; each line brings you into BANKS’ dark, twisted little world.

To The Hilt

“To The Hilt” is the only pure piano ballad on the record. BANKS’ vocals pair so beautifully with the piano, I wouldn’t mind a record full of just ballads. Her voice is light and gentle, like she’s trying to get what she has to say out before her emotions take over. Most her songs deal with romantic relationships, but on “To The Hilt” she sings about the pain of a friend leaving her behind in the music industry.

“We backed each other to the hilt Now I live in the house we built”

They’ve built this music, their brand, and now that she’s right where she wants to be, she can’t share with the person who helped her get there. It’s an interesting internal conflict: to be happy with success but be haunted by the person who aided your way there.

“You saw me as a superstar when i was in a cave You helped them to see”

The person she sings of believed in her when no one else did. He made her feel like she was capable of things, maybe when didn’t feel so capable.

“Hated you for leaving me You were my muse for so long Now I’m drained creatively But I miss you on my team”

Artists and muses have beautiful relationships, but sadly, one cannot work without the other. Not only does she miss having someone to help support her creative outlet, she simply misses the friend who’s been with her since the beginning: before BANKS was BANKS.

27 Hours

BANKS ends on a high note, with her voice loud and powerful as ever. By the end of the record, we realize that she isn’t as fragile as she used to be. She’s bold, brave, and sometimes, a little bit mean. The passionate feelings of love or hate that have been prevalent in each and every song are what make humans, human. It’s what makes soulful music honest.

“27 Hours” is her owning up to hurting a man, after telling him to stay away. She does not shy away from the incident. No, instead she’s open and unafraid to bear all, even if it means revealing her mistakes. It ends the album on a memorable note; it’s the kind of song that echoes through your head at night.

The Altar is the artistic, and personal, evolution of BANKS as she navigates her way through life, pain, and love. She is only human, and as humans we learn from our mistakes with no shame. This is pure BANKS, on her Altar, unafraid and uncensored. You can embrace it or you can leave it.

#banks #the altar #album review #album #review #atwood magazine #magazine #pop music #pop #r and b #electronic #trip hop #hip hop #electronic pop #gemini feed #trainwreck

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torentialtribute · 5 years

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PETER CROUCH: Chelsea must keep Eden Hazard at all costs

Peter Crouch is a columnist for Sportsmail

What happens if he leaves? Every worried Chelsea fan is asking the question about Eden Hazard as the end of the season draws near.

I watched Hazard dance his way around West Ham's defenders on Monday night and, once again, he had me out of my seat. It looks amazing on TV but, believe me, to do something like he did at Stamford Bridge gets even more appreciation from those within the game.

The speed, the pace, the electric burst through tight spaces and the finish were just breathtaking. He is not as consistent as Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo in terms of scoring goals but he really isn't far behind when it comes to natural ability.

Hazard has been involved in 28 Premier League goals so far this season – 16 goals, 12 assists – which is the best tally by a distance in our division. Only Messi (45) and Kylian Mbappe (33) can be better his total in Europe. We might see him on our TVs all the time but we shouldn't be immune to his brilliance.

He should be in the conversation for the PFA award. I know some supporters who go to every game at Stamford Bridge and they say Hazard has been the only one who has given them enjoyment this season. Their concerns, then, are clear and understandable.

If he ends up at Real Madrid – the only club he could possibly join – there are two ways to look at it.

Eden Hazard, showing his appreciation to fans in Prague, may leave Chelsea this summer

First, players such as Callum Hudson-Odoi, Ross Barkley, Ruben Loftus-Cheek and Christian Pulisic, who is joining this summer from Borussia Dortmund, could all play a step further without flourish Hazard around.

I know how it is to be in a team that has a stand-out player. There were world-class players at Liverpool in my three years but we all knew that an easy thing to do was to give the ball to Steven Gerrard in the expectation of him producing some magic.

It was the same at Tottenham with Gareth Bale. Again, we had a brilliant team but you didn't think twice about pushing the ball out to him on the left and watching him take off like a rocket. Chelsea's players will understandably think the same with Hazard.

Then, however, there is the second situation. When a top player leaves a club there is a hangover that is difficult to shake. Liverpool had it with Xabi Alonso in 2009 and Luis Suarez in 2014. Spurs had it when Bale joined Real Madrid in 2013.

Both sides have recovered but how would Chelsea cope? Jurgen Klopp described him this week as 'one of the world's best' and with a transfer ban looming there would be no way of filling that gap. The Premier League would be poor without him but the impact on Chelsea would be huge.

They should give him whatever he wants to keep him. Chelsea are fighting for a top four place on the back of what Hazard has done.

He has provided the light for their supporters in this difficult 12 months. If he goes the light for many fans will go out.

USA star Christian Pulisic is joining Chelsea from Borussia Dortmund at the end of the season

Troy's story a real inspiration

It was fantastic to see the Watford-Wolves FA Cup semi-final live up to expectations. Last week I said both clubs were the best outside the top six and I don't think anyone could dispute they are both now established in the Premier League.

Arsenal, certainly, should be wary about playing both of them on the run-in as Watford and Wolves are the kind of teams who will cause everyone trouble. Liverpool, equally, should be wary of playing Wolves on the final day.

They were a credit to the Premier League and I want to make a special mention of Troy Deeney, whose last-gasp penalty secured extra time. Troy is someone I have only with fleetingly and I couldn't say I know him but my respect for him has grown over time.

I have said a couple of times that Watford lack identity because they make so many changes but Deeney has been a constant and nobody at Vicarage Road will be a parent when they walk out of face Manchester City at Wembley on May 18.

To step up in those circumstances and take such responsibility was huge. His finish was emphatic and I can only wish him and his team good luck. Playing in an FA Cup final is something that stays with you for ever.

Captain Troy Deeney (left) inspired Watford to a dramatic FA Cup semi-final win last week

The race for promotion is as intriguing as the race for the Premier League title and I've got an eye on the Championship run-in.

I know how good the teams involved in the fight are, having played the first half of the season at Stoke, and Norwich look as if they are over the line. They really surprised me with the quality of their football and I expect them to go up as champions.

Leeds and Sheffield United are both excellent but my gut feeling is that Leeds will clamber about the line in second place. Iff have a suspicion that Sheffield United will suffer the blow or fail to get out of the playoffs.

Aston Villa are finishing fast and their win at Rotherham in midweek was huge. Keeping hold of Jack Grealish in January was huge for them and I always think the side with momentum can deal with play-offs best.

Jack Grealish has fine form for for Aston Villa, who are well placed to claim a play-off spot

MY WEEK

WHAT I'VE BEEN UP TO ..

I was given the all-clear to start some light training this week, which was a great boost. It was great to be back at work following a little absence and it was an even bigger boost that my return to Burnley coincided with the beginning or half-term! There are only so many day trips you can do!

WHO'S CAUGHT MY EYE: Scott McTominay

He made a good impression last season when Jose Mourinho called on him and I can see him being a big part of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's plans after an impressive individual display against Barcelona.

NEXT UP FOR ME …

Being out injured is not something I have been used to during my career but I have never taken absences well. I wouldn't say I have great fun to be around for the past couple of weeks but I'm looking forward to stepping up my rehabilitation program.

WHAT I'M LISTENING TO …

About Waves are a Liverpool band who are never too far from the top of my playlist and I've had them on plenty this week. The new album is called What's It Like About There and the standout single is Times Won't Change Me.

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#PETER CROUCH: Chelsea must keep Eden Hazard at all costs"

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