#i! hate! needing! labels!

[firststayfortea]

my need for labels vs how scared those labels make me vs knowing i'll mess everything up if i talk about this

#loool vibing rn /s #🌿 #uuuuh covering this up only read if you're my friend thanks 🌰🌱☘🍀🌿🪴🌳🌲⚘🌷🌼🌻🌺🌹🌸💐🍂🍁🍂💐🌸🌹🌺🌻🌼🌷⚘🌲🌳🪴🌿🍀☘🌱🌰 #i! hate! needing! labels! #why can't i just be happy with the relationship i have with them. why do i have to want a label for it. #essentially nothing would really change but noooo i *need* to think about them that way i *need* to think of a label to put on how i feel #it's stupid. i feel shitty about it and i can't help it. i know how they feel so talking about it would probably make things awkward #and weird and wrong #nothing would really change at all. nothing would be different. we're already that close it wouldn't make much of a difference #dammit stupid brain thoughts. #.vent

[ephemeralgalaxies]

Y'ALL. Re-listening to The Penumbra Podcast (s3 now lol bc yes I am specifically looking for Nureyev lore since s4/5 new info) and Man in Glass has me SOBBING IT WAS RIGHT THERE ALL ALONG.

s3ep2, Buddy telling Nureyev his "calling card"

Buddy: "An endoring moral core, coupled with a strong desire to excise that core completely...like having a heart embarrasses you. I brought you on this ship for that moral core. If I distrust you, darling, it is only because you have proven that you can do anything you set your mind to, and so I am certain that you are capable of excising those morals for good. You just haven't done it yet."

Then later, s3ep2 still, Nureyev is talking with Juno in his room and Nureyev narrates:

Nureyev: 'I feel the weight of potentiality sit heavy on my shoulders, I hear Buddy's words about the excision of my moral core and about my ability to do it. And I realize, for the first time, that there is a kind of helplessness in complete freedom[...]when trouble arises, I disappear. [...]but looking at this new man [Juno], there is nothing I want more than to stay.'

AND THEN AND THEN IN S5ep14 The Sixteen Tons,,, yeah I know this line by heart :')

Nureyev and Juno talking (arguing) after Juno takes him into the closet at the facility (near the beginning of the ep)

Nureyev: "I do not want to see you anymore, Juno."

Juno: "...What?!"

Nureyev: "You said that it would just take those words to excise you from my life entirely, didn't you? Well, I've said them..."

THE EXACT WORD CHOICE. THE WAY HE WANTED TO STAY ON THE SHIP AND JOIN THE AURINKO CRIME FAMILY FOR (money, but also) JUNO. BECAUSE JUNO IS HIS MORAL CORE, THEIR MORALS DO ALIGN. THAT'S WHY THEY WORK SO WELL. SO OFC HE HAS TO "EXCISE" JUNO TO CARRY ON WITH THIS.

Because the reality of it: keeping someone between life and death for YEARS, helping fund the Big Pharma that has vowed to safe Slip and yet also commits such horrific acts, but he has to do it or else he never gets to know Slip or have someone know him as he thinks they should bc surely he must not be worth all of this to Juno, the lady's just being stubborn again and inconsiderate, but deep down Nureyev KNOWS that's not it at all. He knows that Juno does know him and will continue to know more about him, and if he can do that and love Nureyev... well, that means Nureyev could have a future.

But Nureyev has been trying to stretch out the future for over 20 years. He's set his mind to it, and he can do anything he sets his mind to. Including destroying himself until there is nothing left to bother with a future anyway. Until there is nothing for Juno Steel to know and love and so he gets the punishment he believes so adamantly that he deserves long before Juno first left him in that hotel room.

If he is alone, then when trouble comes he can just disappear. If he is alone, there is no one to hurt when that bomb goes off.

#juno and nureyev being character foils will always destroy me #yes I know they have many similarities for character foil label but so do Aang and Zuko and look where we are #also the way Nureyev finally realized Juno HATED Zola in s3ep2 bc he is morally disgusted by her — as is Nureyev's words #IN THE SAME EPISODE that Buddy talks about knowing Juno is Nureyev's reason AND that he can excise those morals if needs be #It is that being what Nureyev admires most about Juno but also the reason he must push him away to continue down this path #Because Juno already almost died for him. Nureyev cant have Juno living for him #Train from Nowhere also makes me sob if u cant tell #the penumbra podcast #long post #ehe #tpp #tpp s1 #tpp s3 #tpp s5 #tpp s5 spoilers #tpp spoilers #just in case #jupeter #juno steel #peter nureyev #peter ransom #juno x peter #buddy aurinko #my beloved mother #the aurinko crime family

[kiitoskiitos]

gay reigen

#reigen arakata #nudity #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #you guys heard of projection? #lots of love ! #can't decide if i love or hate this. i am changing my painting technique after this i have a headache rn. #gay #i love that the gay tag is now constantly trending bcs the complete nudity ban was lifted #nature is healing #tell me if this needs maturity label. i personally dont think it needs?

[figofswords]

the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something

#WHAT AM I DOING!!!! #i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch #too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun #no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point #trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this #WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!! #there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time #my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me #my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job #i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time #i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again #and WHAT DO I WANT! #THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY! #I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!! #anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed #delete later #i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious) #versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected) #i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want #ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you #i miss that i want that back #whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Hey yall im back with Fig and the Cig Figs professionally produced Freshman year album (formally known as Detention) track list:

Detention

Bad Kid

Dragonslayer

Sk8er Gurl (yes it is basically just a fantasy version of Sk8er Boy by Avril Lavigne)

Burn Towns Get Money

Pit Fiend

Corn Cuties

Disguise Self

Closed Book

Infodump

Seven Maidens

Every Album Needs A Bonus Track (yes that is the name of the song)

Here’s the Junior Year Track List in case you wanna see it!

#just to be clear most of these song titles weren’t figs decision at all #like she would not choose that as her album title but because this was made when she was signed I wanted everything to feel a bit more #clinical compared to the junior year one where it was just fig and gorgug and the other bad kids having fun fucking around #that’s also the reason why the Junior year one is so much longer and totally not because I struggled coming up with song names on this #the main issue is I had to channel studio filtered Fig and not just straight Fig so I couldn’t include like #the ballad of lunch lady Doreen or fuck you coach daybreak #<—— #also she would definitely release these as ‘from the vault’ songs along with her Junior year album #I do think she fought hard for every album needs a bonus track burn towns get money and Sk8er gurl #I think the song fig hates the most is bad kid because it says literally nothing about any of the other bad kids only about her #she fucking loathes it but the label was so obsessed with keeping up the image of a teenage rockstar cool kid #if it were up to her she would have talked about the party a lot more but as it is there’s only vague references to them in detention #autism (mads) speaks #fantasy high #fhfy #dimension 20 #d20 #fig faeth #fig and the cig figs #fantasy high freshman year

[daeluin]

ok no, i try not to get annoyed by what others say but there is a difference between people bending reality to delule themselves into making a straight woman queer just because they can't deal with liking a straight artist versus pointing out a man who has always presented himself as queer

#like i get so fucking angry when people say pete was faking being gay just to gain an audience like what???? #also just because he never put a label on himself that doesn't automatically exclude him from being queer/nonstraight #like as a guy who also doesn't label themselves i find it so fucking annoying #I hate gen z need for one to microlabel themselves at the first chance unless you get defaulted as cishet #like seriously fuck off #no one owes you a label and it's weird to demand others to label themselves

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

#before i maybe get yelled at: #1) no i do not think ppl are evil for having men dnis no i do not think these are all equal transgressions even #though there is an overlap that should be examined that i think is based in a degree of lesbian separatism + exclusionism #2) yes there are lesbian blogs and people that are cool about genderfucky people. i'm not talking about them #3) this is a stylized vent post about trying to find lesbian content on tumblr that isn't like this. all these dnis/rules are ones i have #encountered. no i do not literally tell these people to change their dnis to suit me. the conversations are symbolic and ideological in #nature. if i find a blog with men dni i generally go somewhere else. it's about emotions. it's about my feelings on that it's not literally #about dming someone demanding they change things. it's not about demanding that You change things or else you're a bad person. #4) it is about the conflicts and hypocrisy and inconsistency of strict and exclusive sexuality labels persisting in gender-diverse spaces #and how it affects me as a lesbian who is a man who is a woman who is fucking whatever else. and yes it is about transphobia too. #5) it's about how lesbians feel the need to exclude men and how i think efforts to do so fail and hurt ppl and are often misguided #tht i think also comes up in like. bi lesbian/mspec lesbian/gaybian discourse. i'm not any of those myself but it seems like there's overla #6) if this post seems whiny and sad and insecure that's because it probably is. i have a right to be all of those things. #7) no i do not think all lesbians are man-hating assholes. i am a lesbian. i love lesbians. i love dykes and most of them are fantastic ppl #i just think the general bullshit of the world leads to this defensive thing that ends up hurting others in our community y'know? #8) i get that my perspective/experience is a bit unusual and many lovely ppl haven't considered it. that's part of why i'm sharing this #nyarla dni #<- sorry man it's too vulnerable. gonna keep this one to the internet-only folks

[araneitela]

Me staring at test results: It makes so much sense for her, but if I don't specify or elaborate, then we end up with the fanon take. Ugh, how do I easily explain that if you look at the word 'sex' through a much more old-fashioned lens instead of the modern one, that you'll get a vastly different picture of it?

/takes angycat.png typing to my tags

#[ ooc. ] don't try to make it logical or edit your soul according to the fashion. rather; follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly. #[ post-it. ] in a way; you are poetry material. you are full of cloudy subtleties I am willing to spend a lifetime figuring out. #[ i'm so tired. i need to write a post on this or something. and somehow add it to my pinned. in some way. ] #[ 'sex' and 'seduction' are /not/ wrong in my opinion. HOWEVER-- they are /very wrong/ if we go by modern labels and perception. ] #[ god the horror of writing a muse that is so interlaced in a modern world; setting and culture but seems to /ooze/ something archaic. ] #[ this level of refinement isn't of our times in my opinion. these things that she loves aren't commonly loved nowadays. ] #[ there's so much about her that is old-fashioned to me and it's so in my face. and yet fanon doesn't see it. ] #[ i can't believe i'm an old millennial who's screaming boomer or older things. ] #[ but like can we acknowledge that sex in today's age isn't the same as it used to be? not /always/ but more generally so. ] #[ can we acknowledge that /seduction/ didn't always mean what people see it to mean now? ] #[ can we acknowledge that the FEMME FETALE TROPE HAS CHANGED /LEAGUES/ since the 2000s? ] #[ which is my biggest beef actually. and maybe all of my frustration plays into this most. it's that the femme fatale now is sexualized. ] #[ while that is /not/ what the femme fatale used to be. kafka plays into the old school femme fatale so well. film noir days. ] #[ i had this same struggle on yelan where they make VERY OBVIOUS draws to it by her music in her trailer. god; the jazz. ] #[ but kafka suffers from this so very much as well to a point where i don't dare to call her a femme fatale because then it's fanon. ] #[ the fanon i hate so much. ] #[ but just uuuughhhh. UGHHH. it's so much to explain. ]

[trans-axolotl]

for about two years now ive struggled with relapses in self harm and have not really known how to deal with my desires for harm, health, and existing thoughts on antipsychiatry. ive been accessing psychiatric resources for well over a decade with a lot of trauma inflicted over that time. ive also dealt with really harsh approaches to reducing self harm that both began the problem in the first place and worsened it.

ive been working with my therapist to stop self harming but, to be honest, i have no desire to stop. i try my best to reduce risk where i can such as not self harming in an emotional state, using clean implements, and keeping it light. previously i didnt care about any of those things and self harm was mainly a dangerous coping mechanism. but now i see it almost as a form of body modification with a lot of intentionality to it.

i really dont know what to think. its objectively dangerous since i am harming myself but i also cant agree with the general aims of therapy and psychiatry to stop self harming as an ultimate goal. i want to be happy and healthy and for me that means living with self harm as a reality of something i will continue to do. and i think its my right as an autonomous person to choose what i do with my body, even if its harmful. yet i can feel the claws of psychiatry and feel so much shame and hatred towards the fact i cant stop. or more significantly, that i dont want to.

sorry for such a long ask, but essentially what im getting at is, how does one handle harm reduction when there is no desire to ever fully stop? i believe in my own right to bodily autonomy but ive also been told repeatedly that using my bodily autonomy to harm myself makes me undeserving of it and instead in need of carceral punishment. how do i even begin to navigate those contradictions of feeling like ive been horribly hurt and dehumanized and feeling like on some level ive deserved that dehumanization because of the pain i inflict? is self harm as body modification even a concept or idea that people have discussed? since i mainly just see it discussed as a coping mechanism.

content note: continued discussion of self harm and self harm methods.

Hi, anon. Thanks so much for reaching out.

I really resonated with so much of what you shared. It's really hard to try to navigate all our feelings associated with self harm when we are constantly hearing from society that our self harm makes us dangerous or unworthy or unable to live outside of institutions. For me, it honestly feels really violating when other people like providers try to push their narrative of what self harm means onto me. My relationship with my self harm is so personal and there's a lot of different meaning I attach to it, and I want the room to be able to talk about it in a way that actually makes sense to me.

Something that's helped me in trying to navigate all of this for myself is really just to come back to these values of bodily autonomy and harm reduction. A really important harm reduction value for me is that it is completely okay if people don't ever stop (whether we're talking about drugs, self harm, disorderly eating, etc). It's important to me that we can defend people's right to do all these things and recognize that harm reduction should not be just another method of coercion trying to convince people to stop. I strongly believe that people can have meaningful and valuable lives that also include self harm as a part of our lives. I want to build a world where we can say that we're not interested in completely stopping self harm and that statement is not reacted to with shame or blame, but rather with curiosity and respect for the fact that we are the experts on our own lives and choices. Part of encouraging autonomy is recognizing that we are allowed to make choices about our lives that might not be what the psych system wants us to make.

Anyway, all of this is to say: I think it's okay if you're not interested in ever stopping self harming, and I know a lot of people who also feel similarly to you. You absolutely have the right to interpret your self harm in a way that makes sense for you. I've definitely heard other people talk about self harm as body modification (I think some of the harm reduction zines in this google drive might talk about it, but I haven't read through them in a while. Continued content note for discussion of self harm, self harm methods, and diagrams of anatomy and self harm). It makes a lot of sense why you might connect self harm and body modification, and that's something that would resonate with a lot of other people. You have the right to build a life that includes self harm as a part of it, and find a way to do it that makes sense for your body and life.

That feeling of dehumanization you described is so so real. I really just feel a lot of rage towards a psychiatric system that makes us feel so hurt and conflicted. Untangling that learned shame and hatred towards ourselves is so fucking hard, but just know that you are not alone in that and that we have the right to reject the ways the psych system punishes us.

And I want to be clear that none of this is to downplay the very real harm, pain, or risk that can come with self harm, but rather to point out that abstinence only methods, shame, and carceral psychiatry did not do anything to support me with that. Instead, it left me feeling trapped and like it was worthless to even try to figure out what I needed in really difficult moments. So I also really just want to acknowledge and celebrate all the stuff you listed in your ask--using clean implements, not self harming in an emotional state, and keeping it light. I'm really glad that you've found some steps to take that make self harm more manageable for you. Those are not lesser steps or a waste of your time just because you are not interested in stopping self harm, and those things are such a great example of how harm reduction doesn't require you to stop self harming in order to make some changes that reduce risk.

Just sending a lot of love and solidarity to you, anon, from another person who is not interested in completely stopping self harm, even as my relationship to my self harm shifts and changes over the years. There are a lot of us out here and we deserve to have the space to openly talk about these things without facing judgement.

💜💜💜💜

#asks #self harm tw #antipsych #psych abolition #harm reduction #harm reduction is so important to me. didn't go on this in the main post bc it's a tangent but just like #the co-optation of harm reduction by the gov and nonprofits makes me so fucking annoyed. #i learned harm reduction from other sex workers and drug users bc it was what were doing to survive. to me harm reduction needs to be based #in radical autonomy and liberation and with the understanding that it's totally fine and neutral and okay if ppl never stop #also my own relationship to self harm is not one where stopping it completely is a priority. there's a few forms of self harm i want to sto #bc it's really hard to accurately judge the risks of that self harm. and also because it was really difficult for my loved ones to watch an #i care about that. but i feel totally okay with the thought that cutting may or may not be a part of my future. and that i will find #love joy meaning. all of that. regardless. and that there are times im grateful for how self harm helped me survive #as much as there are times i hate it and times that self harm were so incredibly destructive to other parts of my life. it is soooo complex #for me! and i cannot just label it the way psychs want me to #anyway. lots of love anon.

[hispanicin]

How are you on tumblr dot com and you're spewing exclusionary rhetoric like you're some saint for all lesbians

#get a grip!!! #we are siblings!!! we are brothers in arms!!! #a bi person looks at me and says we are the same #and i smile and hug them #Why do you need to feel special in your label #who do you feel the need to shut people out #I hate you. #discourse #negative #<- for filtering

[hidefdoritos]

The right cargo pocket of my favorite camo pants tore recently. (I had a waterbottle in my pocket and stepped out of a trailer, which was just too much stress I guess.) The pocket ripped away from the pants, leaving a hole, and the button also tore straight through the buttonhole.

I fixed the buttonhole by hand. I started by tacking a few stitches across the rip to hold it together. I unpicked this horrible-awful-itchy-bad label from another pair of pants. It got folded in half lengthwise and used like hem binding to patch and support the ripped part.

Next was the hole in the pants. That was a machine-stitching job that I did today. Today I also had a migraine. Migraine brain should not have been allowed to operate machinery, but the pants have been on my floor for a week and I couldn't take it anymore.

I put a piece of brown canvas behind the rip and used my machine's mending stitch to go back and forth over and over the rip. It holds up fine. I trimmed back the canvas. We'll see if it stays put like denim patches do or if it disintegrates.

Then all I had to do was machine-sew the pocket back in place. Voila! Usable pants!

#sewing #diy #cj sews #beginner sewing #diy patches #patches #mending #solarpunk #it's not waste until you waste it #use it up wear it out make it do or do without #I knew those awful bad scratchy itchy tags would be good for something! #Also I think tags cut out of clothing would be an AWESOME detail on a battle jacket. #Whether it's a visual commentary on hating fast fashion #or on the sheer number of sizes that one person wears (if you cut out the size tags) #or on how labels are hostile to sensory issues #I've just been saving offcut labels in my Cabbage Bag for eventual things that need stuffing #but now I wanna do something with them.

[piplupod]

honestly i wish i didnt know as much as i do about occultism and spirituality because it is so fucking frustrating to see ppl talk about it and they very obviously do not have the knowledge that i have. like i am so open to being wrong, but i see things that ppl are saying and i'm fairly certain that they just ... do not have the depth of knowledge i do, so they say very ignorant things, or draw lines between things in an incredibly (potentially dangerously) overgeneralized way. and i am just sitting here like "oh you have no clue what you are saying right now, do you? you do not realize what you are saying is unfortunately pretty damn wrong." and i have to back away from the screen bc i do not discuss these things anymore due to the brain being constantly ready to dropkick me straight into a mental health crisis

but christ alive i think anyone who engages with spirituality needs to read up on like. essentially Everything they can get their hands on, even if they do not necessarily agree with the ideas being presented, because that way !! you learn !! and you grow to realize what things are borne out of racism and grossly mystifying other cultures and straight up white supremacy and nazi ideology and encouraging psychotic symptoms that lead to mental health crises !!!

#i hate new age spirituality so much. soooo much. 90% of it is just racism repackaged with a pretty bow on top #and nobody realizes bc they do not know what the fuck they are engaging with :))) what the roots of it all actually is !!! #and i do not necessarily blame them but i am so .... its tiring. and disconcerting. and scary. to see all of it being paraded around #esp when ppl accuse you of being ignorant or cruel for criticising smth that is so fucking dangerous or racist hsdgjkl ARGH ARGH ARGH #just bc they themselves do not realize !! it is dangerous and/or racist!! and they assume you must be wrong to criticise them!!! #sorry im just hgdsgjkl. this drives me crazy. i also hope i dont sound egotistical or high-n-mighty #but i do genuinely know i have more knowledge than the average bear (not difficult to though tbh! u just have to read a lot!!) #because i was so fucking fixated on it and went delving into so many books and pdfs and websites and did my own stuff on my own time #for several years #i was DEEP in this stuff (and boy howdy my mental health suffered for it lmfao me when i lose touch w reality almost entirely !!) #AND OBVIOUSLY. not everyone is going to have the same exps i did when they do spirituality stuff #but . it is very common esp these days. there is a whole label for it lol #ALRIGHT IM DONE RANTING NOW. im going to log off from everything for a good long while today to try to reset my nervous system lmfao #sorry for the public yelling and wailing fsdfjkl #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[demo-ness]

i think this website may be allergic to the idea that most medications aren't for neurological stuff

#just saw a post that was an image with the text ''don't forget your meds!'' (this part is good) #next to the autism creature on top of a bottle labeled '''brain helpies''' #and i'm trying to parse my hatred in a way that spares the cringe. i am full of rage #but i will dabble in hating on the cringe a little. what medication is for the autism creature exactly?? #i thought the ''brain helpies'' for autism were universally dangerous and/or scams sold to horrid parents #it's comorbid with adhd but jfc it is SOOOOO inconsequential to forget a stimulant for a day #even compared to other quality of life meds. i'd rather remember to take my thyroid medicine and not be lethargic #and then. do i need to get into my health anxiety. please fucking GOD do not forget something that keeps you healthy #forgetting a stimulant makes you less productive in a day #forgetting something like a cholesterol medication will SLOWLY KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #is it REALLY health anxiety to think one is more important than the other???? #sorry i'm in a bad mood today. take your brain meds congrats on having a perfect body otherwise

[kimwexlers-brownhair]

If Charlie Kelly was a woman, somehow folks would find a way to label her a manic pixie dream girl. The sewers, the stalking, the biting Santa's ear off, the illiteracy, the filth, the derangement, the slime and the rat bashing, somehow people would roll their eyes and complain about how quirky she is.

#most women have moments when they relate to charlie on a deep level #the feral rage and uselessness #but if a woman were actually allowed to act that way on screen...misty gets away with it because she literally kills people and #yellowjackets is horror and not a sitcom #liz lemon was too confident to get the label #i need a profoundly dumb woman with deranged idiosyncrasies on screen but even writing that description makes MPDG pop into my brain and #i hate it #mpdg should refer to women framed only by the hero's infatuation with her #not a broad term for all clown women #charlie kelly #iasip #manic pixie dream girl

[themistakehasarrived]

Rewatching Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse does not stop the want to watch it again and again. The animation, the different way each character exists, the fightstyles, the music changes, the characters, everything. It's like a breath of fresh air I didn't know I needed, like witnessing the beginning of something I'll get to experience once in my life. I'm dramatic but these three movies are forever gonna be top tier and I'll watch this again and again like I did Spider-man: Into the Spider-Verse. It'll make me remember why I loved art, why I still love it deeply, why it creates this existence where I can build something for myself, for others, for the world.

I'm being dramatic but my god, is it like seeing the universe with all it's beautiful colors to me.

#across the spiderverse #spiderman into the spiderverse #Spider-Punk my beloved #Hobie Brown our king #Is it obvious I love Hobie “I hate labels” Brown #Miles Morales I believe in u king #Miguel O'Hara isn't bad but he needs anger management therapy #He's like only a little unhinged