#i always hate tagging my posts

[diamondcamefromhell]

Divide

Aegon x fem!reader

Masterlist

Summary: After the coronation, conflict happens between Y/N and Alicent, where Aegon has to get involved 

Content Warnings: just angst and maybe some parts are somewhat fluff

Word Count: 2,325 

I do not own any of the characters mentioned in the story, and have taken some creative liberties of my own to write Aegon and the rest as I see them, which might be different from how you see it <3

Rhaenys might have spared us, but I felt more in danger now than in front of Meleys. Alicent wasn’t pleased when the guards and I arrived to the small council room, even if it was on Aegons command. I stood there awkwardly as the former Queen stared at me, her father, Otto, watching me closely too.

“Who is she?” Her voice was stern, but the question wasn’t directed at Aegon exactly.

I look over at her kids, all of whom know me. I was surprised, actually, that I evaded Alicents and Ottos eyes for so long, even after becoming close with the young greens. Even after sharing the bed with Aegon many times. Perhaps it showed how little Alicent cared, or how much her attention was elsewhere.

I saw that reflected in Aegon every day. She seemed to hate the man he was becoming but did nothing to change it and Viserys seemed to pretend he didn’t exist at all.

“Y/N.” Aegon spoke, as if that would clarify who I really was. Helaena shifted uncomfortably, and Alicent seemed to notice.

“Another one Aegon?” I flinched as if she had struck my physically, for the implication in her voice was clear. Another one.

“She’s a friend, mother.” To my surprise it was Aemond who spoke. I looked at him but he was facing his bother, his sapphire eye was all I could see.

“A friend?” Alicent didn’t believe him. She looks at Aegon again. “You bring her in front of your wife? Think of the shame you bring to her!”

“I do, mother. At least Y/N actually cares about me.”  He meets his mothers eyes and seems to stand taller than he used to. Maybe it was just the crown, but his demeanor had changed.

“We care about you Aegon! We, your family, care. All you do is push us away.” Alicent’s voice echos in the room as I meet Aemonds eye. I can’t read his expression. Perhaps there is a smidge of disappointment. “Maybe if you looked at your wife, at your family, you wouldn’t need to bring a stranger to your bed.”

“I love her!” He shouts back and my eyes widen. Helaena shrinks into herself more.

Before I know it, Alicent struck Aegon. His crown slipped off his head, hitting the ground and rolling away. The silence is loud, nobody moves, and I see Aegons expression change.

I know the strike itself didn’t hurt as much as the fact that his own mother struck him again. Struck him for loving someone. In front of his own family too.

I feel anger rise in my blood as I take a step forward, then another. All the eyes follow me as I make my way across the room and bend down to pick up the crown. I look at Alicent before making my way to her son. I glance at Helaena who gives me a sheepish nod, and I gently place the crown on Aegons head, running my hand to his shoulder gripping them tightly.

“My king.” I whisper, letting him go and looking back at the dowager Queen. “It isn’t in your best interest to strike a King.”

“He is my son.” I see hatred in her eyes but I stand tall. Otto steps closer, but doesn’t intervene.

“Is he now?” I take a step forward, shielding Aegon from her eyes. “Now that he wears a crown you decide to care?”

“The things you lead to could have you hanged.” She stares me down, disgust in her face. “I am not the one who has taken interest in his crown.”

“I have loved him for years, long before he was crowned. Is that really that hard to imagine? Someone loving Aegon?” I shake my head and Alicent is taken aback, even if for a moment. “He is a good man, Alicent. He never was just a monster you seemed to see in him, he was always more than the late King cared to acknowledge.”

“You say I don’t know my own son?” I take a step forward, face to face with Alicent.

“You know him as heir. As a tool to use against Rhaenyra. You don’t know the person you brought into this world beyond that.”

I feel heat in my cheek before I realize that Alicent has struck me. Before I can regain my composure, Aegon has stepped between his mother and I, his sword drawn.

The guards unsheathe their weapons too. I see Otto step towards his daughter. I look back at Aemond, his hand on the hilt of his sword, and sweet Helaena looking away, her eyes shut. Blood rushes through me as I hear my own heartbeat echo in my ears. What have I done.

“Lower your sword Aegon.” Alicent commands, but her voice is low, as if she was the one who got struck. Her own son drawing a sword on her must hurt.

“You will not strike Y/N again.” The King sounds angry, like there is venom on his tongue. I reach out, grabbing his arm.

“There is no need for this.” I say gently, but he doesn’t move.

“If you hit her again, I will have your hand.” He finally lowers Blackfyre and the room falls silent once more.

I feel the distance between Aegon and Alicent grow. He faces me now, gently placing his hand on my face, checking for any bruising.

But I did not care about that. All I ever wanted was to make Aegon happy. Be the fragile bridge between him and Helaena, because I knew they loved each other as siblings still. Join him on teasing Aemond, but hold him back to not actually hurt his brother. Even spend time with his kids. All I ever wanted was to mend the fragile relationships he had with his family. To give Aegon what he wanted all these years.

And yet I was in the middle of the divide. I knew this would affect how his brothers and his sister-wife see him. This would echo and hurt him later, even if he was too proud to admit that it ever did.

But I have seen him cry. Weep, for the life he never had.

I pull away from his touch and look at Aemond, his hand still on the hilt.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper, but his expression remains cold. Helaena avoids my eyes too. I look back at Aegon.

Wordlessly, he takes my hand and drags me out of the room. The door shuts behind us and two of the guard start to follow us. We make our way through the castle to his chambers. Silently he sits down on the bed, lowering his head. The crown slips and falls again but I don’t rush to pick it up this time.

“I didn’t want to get between you and your mother.” He shakes his head, but doesn’t look at me.

“She brought it on herself.” I wrap my hands around myself. He shakes his head again, whispering seemingly to himself. “Why?”

“Aegon?”

“I finally get crowed and its still not enough.” He voice shakes as he kicks the crown with his foot. This time I take the steps towards it. “I can never be enough for her.”

I bend down and pick up the crown turning it in my hands. The steel feels cold and heavy in my grip, like the weight of the Seven Kingdoms was melted into it. I hated it, yet I put it on Aegon again, lifting his head to look at me.

His face was wet from tears. He looked terrified. Crumbling under the weight. The pride and joy he had during the coronation was all gone, and all that remained was this broken boy.

“You are King now, Aegon. Protector of the Realm.” I wipe his tears away with my thumbs. “But you were always enough. I believe even to Alicent and Viserys, even if they failed as parents, I believe they loved you fully.”

“No.” He shakes his head in my arms, his crown almost sliding off again.

“You were named after the conqueror. Your second name day was one of the biggest celebrations, and while there were politics behind it, your mother, she did it out of love.” I grip his face tighter. “She wanted you to be celebrated Aegon. You were and still are her pride and joy. And I am certain she hates that you have to be in the middle of this game.”

“She hates that I can’t play it well.” His eyes meet mine as he sniffles.

“She hates herself for not teaching you sooner.” I wipe his cheeks again. “She hates for burning the connection you two might have had.”

“She thinks I’m a monster, Y/N.” He pulls away, ripping thew crown off his head and throwing it across the room.

There is rage when his eyes meet mine this time, and for the first time in my life I feel afraid of him. All the whispered stories about his sins echo in my head as he rises, dragging me up with him. He stands still for a moment, but his grip on my arm tightens so much, it begins to hurt. I don’t say anything.

His grip loosens moments later, and he falls apart in my arms. Literally.

He is a whole head taller than me, but he drops into my arms, as we both land on the floor. I wrap my hands around him as he weeps into my shoulder. I hold him tightly, rubbing one of my hands on his back. I can’t help but feel the tears prick my own eyes.

I hug him tighter, crying silently.

This wasn’t what we wanted. This wasn’t supposed to end like this. Our story was meant to be different, we should have been on a boat by now, sailing across the Narrow Sea. I should be hearing his laughter, not his cries.

Every part of me hated this. I hated Alicent for forcing this on him, I hated the rralm for not accepting Rhaenyra. I hated Viserys for changing his mind at the very last moment.

We were almost free.

We fall asleep on the floor, with our hearts raining from our eyes, clinging to each other.

I wake up with a blanket placed upon us. I suspect Helaena had visited us. Usually Aegon and I tried our best to not let her see us like lovers, to protect his sweet sister from any more hurt. But she knew about us. Yet she would let me into her room and would even be friendly to me. She allowed her kids to get to know me too. She had too much kindness to spare.

I also see the crown placed on the bed, along with Blackfyre and a change of clothes for both of us. This further confirmed it must have been Helaena, she would be the only one to think of me, despite the events that happened yesterday.

Aegon awakes shortly, and we sit in silence for a bit. His hand intertwined with mine, our backs against the bed. We prolong the moment before he has to face the crown and the sword as much as we can.

“Remember our first morning together?” He speaks softly.

“You make it sound like this is our last.” I respond and he chuckles.

“Far from it.” There is a brief silence. “Do you remember?”

“I do, Aegon.” I lower my head. We were so much younger then. So much more careless, more brave. “We were afraid then too.”

“I was never afraid with you.” He squeezes my hand and I close my eyes. “I was afraid what my mother would do to you if she were to find us.”

“Yet she never did.” Until yesterday, I think to myself.

“She paid little attention to me.” I look at Aegon now, to see him staring ahead, lost in the memories and I can only hope they are the good ones.

Maybe he remembers the morning of waking up with me in his arms, the quiet laughs we shared, the love made soon after. We were drunk on each others kisses then, young and without much responsibility. I mentioned running away to him, as a joke at first.

It was the first time we dreamt about it. Taking Sunfyre and flying off into the sunset. Being young forever, free as a wind. Always in love, always laughing.

“I love you, Y/N.” I look at Aegon, much older now. My heart still loves him the same.

“I know.” My voice breaks a little, which makes him shift his gaze to me. “I will always be at your side.”

“I know.” He glances back at the crown. “And it’s the first time I’m afraid.”

“There must be something we can do to prevent a war.” I plead.

“I am your King, Y/N. I will figure it out.” He sighs, letting his hand slip out of mine.

I watch as he stands up and starts undressing, slipping out of his coronation clothes. I admire his build for a moment as he gives me a smirk, but it’s soon gone as he grabs the change of clothes his sister brought us. I stand up too, just as he fiddles with the crown in his hands. I remember the weight and the coldness of the steel.

I take it from his hands and place it on his head again, pulling him in for a kiss.

“You have always been my King.” I say, smiling against his lips, trying to hold this moment just for a little longer.

But there is a knock on his door. A small council meeting.

And our safe little haven of dreams is destroyed once more, and my King has to go and be the King of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kigdoms and the Protector of the Realm.

A/N: I am absolutely obsessed with writing Aegon. This scene has been playing in my head for a little while so I am glad to finally get it out on paper. I want to clarify I dont hate Alicent and dont exactly want to portray her as a horrible mother, but from the perspective of Y/N and Aegon, perhaps, she is.  

Please feel free to leave your opinion on this little imagine either here or at my AMA i am always curious to what people think. Thank you for reading <3

#aegon targaryen x reader #aegon targaryen #aemond targaryen #princess helaena #hotd #house of dragon imagine #house of the dragon #aegon imagine #aegon fluff #aegon angst #aegon x y/n #i always hate tagging my posts #idk why i feel so awkward #anyways #hotd imagines

[black-and-yellow]

Hospital.

#congrats to me having a comic idea for once #my funnies were always my most popular posts #though nothing I do will ever top Yo Yo Yo You Look Physically Unwell #i dropped that and it's all been downhill from there #the art wasn't even good #I should redraw it. #bnha #mha #shouta aizawa #eraserhead #mha comic #present mic #hizashi yamada #bnha comic #hate having to do multiple tags for the same thing because there's more than one name for it #so embarrassing

[heartorbit]

THE CUTESITS

#YIPPEEEEE #project sekai #pjsk #prsk #emu otori #cinnamoroll #sanrio #sure. Hwho care #GYAAAAA NEXT PRSK BROADCAST ANNOUNCEDDDD ISOBE KARIN I WOUVVV YOUUUUU #i hope emukasa fes isnt until 3.5 if emu gets another lim do soon and tsukasa gets 4 in one year it's just over. wonderhover. #um i have no idea what any of the songs on that thing they post on twitter will be. suddenly ive never listened to a song ever #the only song i can beg for is oyozurebito and none of the songs are 2 characters long sooo. boo #i should draw the covers i want. in fact i will. in fact i have already for some #this looks saturated to hell with my nightmode on HAUSBDJAH emu color flashbang bwaaaaa #otori emu #proseka #i always forget these ones. my bad #i hate tagging on every website forevevrrr and ever #omg wait i forgot to say. I drew this in an aggie canvas w my classmates #and found out you can COPY AND PADTE TRANSPARENT STUFF from aggie to procreate. crazy #i rendered it a lil but aggie kind of awesome for choosing colors bc the interface is so unintuitive on mobile. and cradhes so mach. #so i have to think abt it more and grab and go

[wikiangela]

several sentence sunday

tagged by @hippolotamus

sooo bucktommy won me over, i couldn't resist anymore 🙈 so here's a bit of them after their date lol just to be clear, im still 10000% about buddie but im gonna enjoy this while it lasts bc I feel like this is exactly what buck needs rn lol I just wanna write him be giddy and stupid and flustered about a boy even if that's not eddie haha (also, I didn't get the Tommy hype before but after seeing him everywhere for two days... I get it now 🥵)

___

"(...) We should do this again.” Tommy says, turning fully towards Buck, and Buck’s eyes immediately find his lips. He can’t wait to kiss him again, and this would be the time, at the end of the date, wouldn’t it?

“We should.” Buck nods, licks his lips, eyes darting up to Tommy’s eyes. He’s smiling softly, just looking at Buck. “I-” he starts, and then thinks, fuck it, and this time he makes a move, as he leans across the console to grab Tommy’s chin, like he did Buck’s in his kitchen, and bring him in for a kiss. Tommy immediately reciprocates, and Buck melts against him, and then when Tommy’s calloused hand covers his cheek, it just feels so- so different, in the best way possible. This kiss lasts longer than the first one, each of them constantly coming back for more, but it’s as gentle and tender as that one. Buck loves it, and can’t help smiling into it. He wants more. “Hey.” Buck says, finally pulling away, licks his spit-covered lips nervously. “Do you- do you maybe wanna come in for a beer?” he asks shyly, and at Tommy’s surprised expression and raised eyebrow he realizes it might sound like he’s inviting him for more than a beer, and he panics again. “I- I- I mean, just a beer. And maybe- maybe more of this.” he pecks Tommy’s lips again, not able to resist a smile. “But just a beer. I don’t think I’m- But who knows, maybe-” he stumbles over his words, because the truth is, he wants Tommy, he wants… he wants so much, he wants to experience so much for the first time – it’s just that he’s not sure if it’s not too quick for this relationship, and for him.

“Evan.” Tommy interrupts, bringing his other hand up, now cradling Buck’s face in both, thumbs moving soothingly along Buck’s cheeks. “Your pace, remember? No pressure, no rush.”

“You’re really cool, you know that?” Buck whispers.

“So I keep hearing.” Tommy chuckles, and it’s adorable. He kisses Buck again, and the butterflies in Buck’s stomach go crazy. Fuck, he doesn't remember the last time he felt this giddy and excited and just light. “I’d love to come in for a beer.”

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @thebravebitch @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @neverevan @weewootruck @loveyouanyway @spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @spotsandsocks @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @nmcggg @rogerzsteven @giddyupbuck @sunshinediaz @honestlydarkprincess @underwater-ninja-13 @exhuastedpigeon @911-on-abc @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @theotherbuckley @buddieswhvre @dangerpronebuddie @diazsdimples @daffi-990 @bidisasterbuckdiaz @fortheloveofbuddie @hoodie-buck @tizniz @your-catfish-friend

#seven sentence sunday #no one look at me i gave in i'm officially boarding the bucktommy ship lmao (as in for now lol my heart will always belong to buddie ofc) #ngl i kinda hate like half of what i wrote so far and really wanna rewrite it but we'll see haha #also i still have mixed feelings about tommy calling buck evan but it's growing on me ngl #this is insane what is going on why is tommy/lou just taking over and changing my whole mind rn lmao #I just want buck to be all giddy and flustered and explore this and just be excited about it aahhh im obsessed lol #fic snippet #wikiangela writes #my writing #my wips #911 fic #911 abc #bucktommy #tommy kinard #evan buckley #bucktommy post-date fic #idk how to tag this lol #btw the beer will lead to some heavy making out bc buck deserves to make out with a cute guy lol

[pilotduty]

had a lovely convo abt patricks support of trans folks yesterday and felt compelled 2 draw something abt it

#this is a drawing i need to post and never look at again i dont hate it i am just SO sick of it #maybe i hate it a little. but i also like it #pete i will always draw you like an anime vampire #anyway #fall out boy #fob #patrick stump #pete wentz #joe trohman #andy hurley #andy ur tattoos entrance me but if i ever have to draw them again i cant promise i'll survive #this has so many tags im sorry #my stuff #fob fanart

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

#eve text #elmike #stranger things #byler #only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol #tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS #god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear #i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable #i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts #elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about #even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike #i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up #the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me #and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing... #the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me #and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin #also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice… #fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK #so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows #i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too??? #love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk #tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO... #like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO #stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest #anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul #i need frivolity #ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show

[lena-cant]

I started replaying fire emblem: path of radiance earlier this week after recently really only playing modern (awakening onward) FE for the past 5 years and it's really hitting home for me how much of modern fe's script is taken up by useless minutiae. camp conversations in por are the thing really hitting it for me. In more recent fe games, there's a lot of little bits of dialogue in the between-level hub but it rarely ever adds to our understanding of a character or interact with the story. It's just there because the characters are in the hub and therefore they need a sentence or two to say to the protag.

meanwhile path of radiance has these wonderful little conversations in the camp. they're not all like, peak fiction or anything but they almost always deliver on short nuggets of story that let you know how specific characters are reacting to what's going on in the story, or otherwise just something about them. I can count on my hands the amount of moments in three houses and engage where characters outside of the "main cast" of those games actually react to story events but they're doing it left and right in path of radiance.

this, along with the fact that most characters only have 3-5 supports means that the characters all feel sharper, more present, and like they're a part of the story. I'm not gonna pretend that every character in por is a masterful study or anything but even the weak characters in por feel less annoying than some of the strongest characters in three houses or engage because they're just inserted into the world more elegantly.

so much of the dialogue in the newer games just feels superfluous by comparison. xander doesn't have checks notes 12 romantic supports because the devs/writers felt that he as a character needed that much fleshing out. he has them because they needed him to have that many girls to kiss for the eugenics mechanics to work! part of the reason why characters in the newer games feel significantly more one note in comparison is that they're stretched thin. there's so much pointless shit they have to say, decided by quota before the writers even got their hands on the characters and it all builds up into a weaker end product

anyway this has been one elitist whinging about the new games that I like less

#anyway you cant get mad at me for hating the new games because i dislike change #awakening was my first fire emblem and i played it when i was literally 13 so ill always love it despite its obvious flaws #fire emblem #fire emblem 9 #fe9 #fire emblem: path of radiance #path of radiance #im too much of a coward to tag this with the names if the games i insult in this post #btw do people in the fire emblem fandom still call people who like the older games better elitists? #i disconnected from this fandom when edelgard discourse got bad so i have no clue what the culture is like #and i refuse to learn

[the-raging-tempest]

To celebrate that it’s been a year since I played Pathfinder Wrath of the Righteous. And I still love the world and characters in this game.

#pwotr pals #wotr #pwotr #seelah #camellia gwerm #lann the mongrel #wenduag #woljif jefto #ember #nenio #greybor #daeran arendae #sosiel vaenic #regill derenge #arueshalae #pathfinder wrath of the righteous #my art #it’s been so long #I tried to capture my ‘old’ art style but improve on it #shrug #yes I do be posting when everyone is asleep sorry #listen I know there’s a canon character named Lariel but he and my girl just…. #I didn’t play the angel path and thought he’d never come back lmao #trying to do that cartoonish sketchy style I used to do #even though it feels strange #tagging it even though my posts never show in tags #I always be over thinking and over tuning Lariel so that I hate it by the end #alas

[certifries]

lazy day

#art tag #genshin impact #lyneyther #lyney #aether #posted this a while ago on twit #they've taken over my brain #honestly just lyney in general i love that dude #also i will always hate drawing aether's braid thank u for ur attention

[omgcatboi]

I don't often post my non kink related art but I'm tryna get the attention of someone else in the community and am too shy and cringe to reach out so. Here, have this portrait I did of Hanzo Shimada. With my finger. On ibis paint. This took me four hours. Progress for proof below.

#we have so many similar interests and im trying to not be cringe about that 🧍‍♂️ #hi im autistic and some people are really really hard to reach out to lol #anyways ove/watch fandom please don't look at my fat kink blog i cannot handle normie anon hate rn #plus id. what u think bc u play OVE/WATCH #idc* oops #not retyping all that #and if you have seen this art on animo and noticed i updated my signature no u didnt!!! #i dont want people on amino knowing im a fat guy that thinks it hot to get fatter #let me be kinky in peace #hanzo #hanzo art #hanzo shimada #hanzo fanart #overwatch fanart #watch either get no notes at all like all my other art or spark the first fatphobic harassment campaign against me bc i dared #to post out my uaual tags #anyways #artists on tumblr #trans artist #overwatch #my art ALWAYS gets ignored its such a SHITTY FUCKING FEELING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats WHY I NEVER POST IT !!!!!!!!!!!! #but whatever im not normal and need to make friends somehow #when people learn to give the attention my art is worth ill post more #but yall on this site NEVER. do ( at least on ever blog I had before this one) #i just dobt post much of it here bc whats the point? no one gives a shit about my intrests and skillls #im just. pretty face to look at #and thats all ill ever be or amount to #bi polar ramblings ig ig ig

[yuri-puppies]

on the topic of arranged marriages in the post-canon, my dumbest and most inescapable headcanon is that falin and kabru get lavander married

partially out of my love of lavander marriages and the historical tradition of queer men arranging marriages between their lovers and their sisters

and partially because every time i see a labru baby fanart i think "the rumor mill believes that falin and kabru had an affair and the king legitimized his sister's bastard as his heir" and the comedy of errors that would result from trying to cover up kabru's pregnancy/fake falin's is hilarious to me

#i've had this headcanon since way early when i thought everyone was cis (/presenting as their agab in the immediate postcanon) #so it originally came from me going “the perfect configuration of [popular het ship] for me is a lavander marriage” #and then realizing that this wouldn't work politically bc marcille can't bear children therefore succession crisis #and quite frankly #i would hate for the theme of her genuinely not giving a fuck about having children against expectations to be undermined #to realizing that if the toudens want children and would uncomplicatedly perceive niblings as their own children #there's only one configuration that would work #and it also happens to be the two people i can see as having always wanted children #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #i hate to censor my posts but not putting it in the tags on purpose #and specifically trying not to mention the f/f ship by name at their collective request #this is for my mutuals and mutuals in law

[spacestationstorybook]

shoutout to selfshippers with female f/os who are unjustly hated in fandom. because they "get in the way" of a popular ship, because they're "too mean," because they're villains or morally gray or just dare to do anything that inconveniences the protagonist. because they're rude, or not feminine enough, or feminine in the "wrong" way. because they fuck up and don't spend the rest of their life groveling at the feet of everyone in their life for daring to not be perfect all the time. your understanding, respect and love for them mean more than any of the crap other people say about them, and you fit with them perfectly. your ability to see past bad-faith and often downright misogynistic criticism is just more evidence of how perfect you are for them.

proship‏‏‎ ‎this is not for you. + this is not about bigots or sexual predators. that hatred is in no way unwarranted.

#self ship community #selfshipping #safeship #nyx on comms #a‏‏‎ ‎LOTTTT of my female f/os face shitty criticism constantly #(honestly i can't think of a single one of my actives that DOESN'T except maybe‏‏‎ ‎karlach) #in ways that make it so obvious they don't give a shit about actually analyzing the characters #and just constantly hold women to a higher standard than men. #but i always feel weird rbing posts about people‏‏‎ ‎with unjustly hated f/os in fandom #because without fail there's always someone in the tags like #'idk why everyone hates my blorbo :( all he did was commit genocide and abuse children :(' #so anyway shoutouts to all the victims of fandom misogyny and those who love them. #strongest motherfuckers in the selfship sphere.

[bugisawesomeasf]

you fuckers are really hating on travis when hes literally a he/him lesbian, also the wilderness is literally a metaphor for girlhood do you really think it wouldve let him survive if he wasnt at least a little girl coded ?

#a bunch of ppl have said this in more smarter ways but i feel like the yj fandom needs to be reminded of this every once in a while #also hes just genuinely a fascinating character?? like he saved his girlfriend only to have to eat his brother #he ate his brothers heart RAW #literally that scene is so insane and underrated #like yall went crazy about shauna eating jackies ear (which fair because it is gen insane) but not over travis eating his brothers heart ra #(which equally as insane) #any ways sorry for the rant my tags are always so long 💀 #i am gonna make a more analysis type post on this once i rewatch the show #yellowjackets #travis martinez #travnat #(its not my fav ship but its still toxic yuri so i have no choice but to stan) #javi martinez #🐝 #also i get not wanting to see any men in this show about women but guys please he’s literally just a girl as well #hate on jeff or waltor or kevyn or the weird cop dude just leave travis alone 🙏🙏😭 #also not girl coded in the way some men are. hes girl coded in the more literal sense #gender fluid travnat my beloved they are so t4t <33

[squuote]

and what about stanley

#the stanley parable #tspud #skip button ending #crows art #guhhh i dont know.if i like this. but i do know that i dont hate it #im just going to post it before i scrap it grrrr #i wanted to add something like. actually good here. but my mouth is numb and my mind is blank #stanley's need for power being in a position where he has literally none #being hurt by everyone around him and constantly by the one person who is always with him #in that case. a little bit of power wouldn't hurt #<- hopefully thats good enough.im going to nap #eyestrain #ask to tag #<- just in case

[lunarharp]

into the deep end - 30k T orufrey fic, focusing on memory trauma, disability, and romance.

the sweet oblivion of the victim, the poisoned freedom of the other.

for one moment - it had felt like two parts returned - the needed reunion of two disparate halves. no more secrets, no more pain.

the moment you get to give back what you never wanted to take. that moment, under the night-blooming flowers, when they had both let out the same single broken sigh of relief.

but they were never whole to begin with, were they?

qifrey swore he wouldn't say 'sorry' to this man any more if he could help it - sorry is cheap now. he didn't want to be in a position ever again where you only have 'sorry' left. so he just looks down into the threads of his blanket, strains his eye until it hurts, feeling his insides - his throat, heart and head - burn with pain. he expects more, but olly says nothing.

olly says nothing.

#witch hat tag #orufrey #sorry i wanted to make a new post for my fic since the first illustration is new. #*stands in the middle of a desolate field in the pouring rain* Please Read My Tale...Blease..Oh god please..*collapses to the ground* #someone asked if there's spoilers in it. Um...yes. Sorry...it's about everything #maybe i should describe it more? it's about qifrey becoming more and more disabled - as i feel is his canon trajectory #and both of them processing the choices that have been made. it was necessary for me to explore this in order to fully understand orufrey #and for them to have the cathartic conclusion-that's why this is important to me for my witch hat fanwork making life. this connects it all #and having dived into qifrey's mind and lived through oru's feelings i was able to get to a place that is possible for them. #the hit/kudos ratio is so pathetic idek what happened. ppl opening it realising its long and saving it for later or just bailing lmfao #idek any more i hate advertising my writing i hate trying to get more ppl to read my long fics it's so hard 🥲 #i'm so much prouder of this than my art...i was able to sink deeply into the orufrey feelings i had always wanted to fully explore #so. it's there lol.........i reread the date/kiss segment today after trying to forget about it thinking maybe the fic is just BAD lol #and like.....nope! i like it very much and this is what i was trying to get across. and it's always there to be read by anyone who wants to #and i will always remember the bliss i felt while writing when i was just lost in their world and living as them. dear GOD i love them. #i'm grateful to myself that i put in the work and love to make this so that i can always come back to it. i wanna illustrate scenes properly #but i'm never satisfied with drawing things i've written because i just can't capture the vivid experience in my mind. maybe one day.

[bookworm-2692]

Life Tracker updated for Episode 7! This one is much quicker than Episode 6 on account of not being on holiday at the time, even though there were two thirds more deaths this time. Previous posts: Session 6, Session 5, Session 4. Also Session 8 (finale) post!

As usual, close ups and commentary below the cut. I’ve also added another graph for the average time of each team, which will also be below the cut.

There was so much carnage! 45 whole deaths in a single session! Not all deaths were awarded time during the session, but Scott’s video advised that it would be added by next session, so I have taken the liberty to add all the time as I see fit, hence why Scott is back to 7.5 hours. I haven’t seen every episode yet (in fact, other than Scott, I’ve only seen those that have perma-died), so I’m not sure if anyone else’s time is a mismatch, but if so I’m happy to explain where I’m getting my time additions and subtractions from!

Now for some close ups.

First, there was enough chaos that I decided to take a close up of Session 6 and 7 together so we can properly appreciate it:

And a close up of Session 7 by itself:

So many people lost major time, so it’s interesting to see Scott’s uptick of time at the end - he ended on only 30 minutes less than he would have been if he hadn’t died at all this session. Pearl didn’t die at all, and got the kill credit for Martyn blowing himself up in a trap, so she actually ended the session 30 minutes better than she started it. Grian also did very well for himself - he killed and died so many times, but somehow ended on the exact time he would have been on if he had experienced a peaceful deathless session.

BigB, Cleo, and Martyn all ended the session 1 hour poorer than they started, and Bdubs and Scar ended 1.5 hours below where they would have been. Nosy Neighbours are thus doing super well, with Mean Gills and Clockers not too far behind, in terms of maintaining position from the start of the session.

TIES had an awful time this session, with Impulse and Tango both losing a net 2 hours, and Etho and Skizz losing a net 2.5 hours - and obviously Skizz entirely died.

Joel possibly had the worst time, losing a net 3.5 hours this session - though it didn’t help that 5 of his 7 deaths were all caused by the one person. Technically Jimmy didn’t do too badly, given he only lost a net 1.5 hours... but given that he was out of the series only an hour into the session, and also the first out entirely... it really didn’t go well for him either

I also find it interesting the sheer number of vertical lines this graph, the ones representing a death immediately followed by a kill or vice versa. I would love to figure out a way to show only one line at a time on the graph, so we can more easily see someone’s journey, but I haven’t had time to look into it yet.

Now onto the graph of the average times per team.

This one is super interesting to me, especially TIES’s line - they had the lowest average life right from the start, but somehow by Session 4, through Session 5, and for most of Session 6, they were the team with the highest average time, and then it quite literally went downhill from there. The only thing saving them from being last now is the fact that the Bad Boys are down to only a single living player, and even then Grian is doing far better than most of TIES.

It’s also interesting to me how Mean Gills had a significant time uptick at the end of both Session 6 and Session 7 (the first due to Martyn and the second due to Scott). Scott’s time was so high that it kept Mean Gills’ average time as yellow for all of Session 6 despite Martyn being red for most of it... and Martyn then got enough kills to keep it there. Mean Gills is also the only team in the entire graph to anywhere gain such consistent significant time.

These averages also coincide with the comments I made above about the time offset difference for each player from the start to end of the session. Mean Gills are doing well, but they’ve been doing well for so long that I’m sure most players are aware that they need to be a target. Nosy Neighbours are also doing well but I feel like they’ve flown under the radar, and are not a significant target right now.

Here is a close up of this graph with Sessions 1-4:

And the close up for Session 5-7:

And the Session 7 only close up:

I kept the dead players in the teams’ averages, since I think it is a better reflection of the teams’ strength as a whole, but I also created a version that excluded dead players. In those screenshots you can really see Bad Boys’ and TIES’ time jumping up at a death, instead of falling as it did here.

Here are the alternate averages graph:

And close ups:

This makes Bad Boys look a lot better, because Grian does have a lot of time... but he is also alone. And there is definitely strength in numbers. Two players at an hour and a half each can fend off an attacker more easily than a single player at three hours can... unless nerves and panic get to them, as we definitely saw this session.

Wow and I almost forgot to include the raw data for this session!

The first hour of the session:

The second hour of the session:

There is just so much death! Look at all the box outlines!! I could barely fit this data on two screens on the zoom I was on, and I did not want to zoom out further.

I also obviously have data for the averages, but it was too far away from the column with the times on it that I wasn’t sure if it would still be useful on its own? Let me know if you want to see it!

This has once again been fascinating to see, and I cannot wait to see how Session 8 will go. Will it be the last session? Will they go until everyone is dead? Will they somehow have enough people with enough time to get to Session 9? Will Mean Gills be the final two and get to play fun relaxing games like Scott was suggesting? 

Only time will tell.

#limited life smp #24lsmp #limlife #once again i hate trying to work out what tags for a post #i got to this point in the tags before i realised i forgot to add the number data #i still love that impulse accidentally killed scott and became yellow again #and that scott also became yellow again #so there was less than 14 minutes between there still being two yellows on the server... and jimmy permadying #thirteen minutes and 41 seconds exactly by my calculations #which is crazy given we had whole sessions of yellows only #which meant it was hours between last green and first red #so less than a quarter of an hour between last yellows (and two of them!) and first permadeath is crazy #i always ramble in the tags bc i dont know how to wrap the post up #why do i always post these as im going to bed #its after midnight and im yawning now #anyway enjoy! #very glad i got to post this before the weekend ended this time #well it was still sunday when i started writing the post #its 12:15am on monday now. technically #my spreadsheets