#i am barely functioning

[slackergami]

if you are a minor, please do not cllick.

just like last year, i’d like to share a few, VERY Not Safe For Work Sylvaina monthly works from [Patreon] (significantly few now coz i am not in a Good Place™ to work). some of these works contain women w/ dongers so don’t click if you don’t want to see any of that.

[2021 works]

consider tossing a coin to a dumb of ass artist(me) for the festive season on [ko-fi], thank u. 

#sylvaina #lemons #sylvanas windrunner #jaina proudmoore #VERY SPICY #probably not as spicy as last year #i am barely functioning #now that i think about it... i should include non-sylvaina works too hmmmmmmm

[my-jokes-are-my-armour]

#joey batey #i am barely functioning #charisma over the charts

[thistaleisabloodyone]

So I'm so low mood my therapist was telling me on Wednesday to get my anti-depressants looked at because obviously they're not doing as much as they should - I barely eat, all I wanna do is sleep, I'm not really doing things I enjoy super much.

And then this happened. The one community I really enjoyed got shaken up by the band of focus being REALLY STUPID and they were one of my main sources of joy before everything happened.

And while I've decided I'm gonna stick with them for now and see what happens, I need to see how everyone else shakes out, too.

During the worst damn season of the year for me trauma wise.

#i am barely functioning #i am so tired #i just wanna cry #i only eat a few bites of any food #and then stop because i don't have the energy or focus #despite STILL BEING HUNGRY #i know part of it is my fault for getting so focused on one group #but also fuck #fuck fuck fuck #thistale bitches

[evashuu]

ah yes the devastating feeling of realizing that the piece you've been working on for so long turned out to be horrible, but you have no time to do anything because the deadline is tomorrow, and you're gonna have to present it to someone you respect and wish to make a good impression on!

how i love to be alive

#i am barely functioning #i am not ready

[journal-three]

If you like Good Omens, I think you'd absolutely like The Good Place! The writing, comedy, cinematography, etc. is so good!

I am so sure you're right but I also emotionally and psychically don't think I could handle it

#i am BARELY functioning #thats it thats the tag #good omens #ask #ingihasextra #the good place

[averagelonelypotato]

whoever got me sick count your days 

#woke up weak af #head spining and pounding #throat dry and parchee #and my mom made me go outside #i am barely functioning

[maddiesup]

This examination session is so stressful

I have three exams this week and no desire to write any of them .-. and also I have to rewrite one of the exams bc I failed it

I'm so drained and tired and I will not even have a break before the next semestre starts ╥ ╥

#university #collage #i am barely functioning #personal

[outofbinaryspace]

Shoutout to Dennys for saving my fucking life

The gremlin that I am

I had a meal at like 4:30pm today (I was up around noon I think)

And then didn’t eat anything after that

Cue me between 1-2am wondering what the fuck im gonna do cause the nausea has already started

Anyway I appreciate you dennys

#yeah #I really should get meds #I am barely functioning #I have at least three neurodivergences #usually the adhd saves me from missing deadlines #it did not #good news it’s only one point a day #so I’ll turn it in at some point today #and it’ll just be a -1 #bad news #this is why I struggle with eating #if I have to do something I really don’t like eating unless I’ve done it #my loophole was fencing #cause I needed to eat to have the energy for it #but now it’s just a dumpster fire #I don’t want to eat cause I have things due but I can’t focus cause I’m nauseous but I don’t feel like I’ve earned it #I am trying and I am doing what I can #but between the physical therapist saying I have chronic pain cause I’m lazy (paraphrasing) #and my allergies going crazy and not sleeping well #it’s just not been a great time #it’s fine tho #I just have to get this outline done #make two posts for my other class before 9am #and then I’ll sleep #and then I really do have to get groceries #cause my cat needs food and I’m out of food too

[ttpdjo]

i know i know but look how ethereal he is

#i am so in love i can barely function #look at those lips #those eyes #even his eyelashes are pretty #don't even get me started with his nose #and those damned lil twin moles on his cheek #i wanna dot them with kisses #i love him :((( #joe keery #djo #steve harrington #gator tillman #dreamboy #joekeeryedit #UGH #i forgot to mention his eyebrows and hair and the blessed colors #i want him to read books to me #this close ups are totally for me #you're welcome though #djoedit

[satorusluver]

Minors DNI

Can't stop won't stop I'm hyperfixating.

Boyfriend Gojo Satoru who sees cumming in you as giving you his love. Letting him cum in you is such an act of trust and he sees it as the ultimate form of intimacy.

Even though he knows you're on birth control and have virtually no chance of having his baby, he can't help but love the idea of your womb being full of his cum, full of his seed. In his mind it marks you as his.

One time when he found out a coworker had been flirting with you, he fucked you right before you left for work. Didn't matter that you were fully dressed already, he just hiked your skirt up, pulled your panties aside and fucked you right up against the kitchen counter, his fat cock stuffing you full until you came all over it and he came in you, shooting thick ropes of cum as deeply as he could. Then he pulled out and readjusted your underwear, knowing damn well you'd be leaking his fluid onto them throughout the work day.

Sometimes he'll even choose to stay perfectly still when he cums in you because "want you to feel it, baby." He'll grip your waist tight and push all the way in until the tip of his dick kisses your cervix and then he'll cum hard, not moving a muscle so you can feel how his dick twitches with every spurt of thick, hot seed that floods your womb.

"You feel how much I love you, baby?"

#adhd brain im either super productive at one specific hobby or i am barely functional lol #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru smut #gojo x reader #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujustsu kaisen x reader #satoru x reader #gojou satoru x reader #satoru smut #satoru gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #x reader smut

[stealingfromwoolworths]

Currently waiting for people to realise that yes, the autistic teens, kids, adults and elders who are always swarmed by aids, cannot speak, lash out, have limited speech, act “dumb”, run away into dangerous places (eg. Roads, pools ect.) when overwhelmed, are similar to the autistic stereotype or in general don’t act in a “civilised manner”

Have access to the internet

They are on tumblr

We are on tumblr

And we don’t appreciate being your punching bag, being excluded from conversations about accessibility, or used as a tool by high functioning autistics who want to say “oh look at me I’m not like the autistics who bite people or make weird sounds in public or need support, I’m just unique and have fun interests.”

We are real people and we are smarter then you think.

Edit: thanks to the people who pointed out that smart wasn’t the right word! So I’m going to add this: the opinions of me, a low functioning autistic who has the privilege to be able to write coherently and communicate my opinions and views in two different languages, holds the exact same weight as someone who cannot do any of those things and in fact sometimes it’s their opinion and views that matter more. The opinion of “smart” autistics matters just as much as the opinion of “non smart” autistics and people you would consider dumb. Lower functioning autistics who are not conventionally or, at all, “smart” are just as human, important and valuable and deserve to have their opinions taken into consideration just as much as I do writing this. You don’t loose your value as a human or as a disabled person when you aren’t smart.

#actually autistic #autism #disabled #mentally disabled #don’t come at me for using functioning labels I am low functioning #in fact I am barely functioning #disability #high support needs

[riemmetric]

One frustrating thing about being a mathematician is that people who aren't into math heard that Einstein quote that's like "you haven't understood something unless you can explain it in layman's terms" and use it to mean "if it can't be explained to me in five minutes it's needlessly complicated, this person is a pretentious snob and academia is gatekeeping knowledge". And like everything in life, the matter of scientists not being able to/not caring to explain their work to people who aren't at the same level of expertise as them is a complex one that is worthy of being discussed, but here's the thing that you have to keep in mind if you haven't done math since high school:

the further you get into math, the more specialized your field becomes. You start working of puzzles that are small, but fit into a greater web of similar problems, like knitting a beautiful flower that's meant to be incorporated into a huge quilt. And all of math is build on top of each other, so you can't get to the most interesting, current math being discussed in the world without getting through the building blocks that are taught to you in elementary school, high school and the university.

You ask me to explain my thesis to you and I can tell you the title, but you won't know what the main words in it mean. And that's not because you are stupid, that's just because to learn that word you have to spend time learning a hundred others. I love math, it's my favourite thing in the universe and I always have time to talk about it, so if you want, we can sit down and I'll tell you everything you need to know to understand what I'm currently working on. You can ask me questions and I will reformulate, you can ask me to go over things again and I will oblige. With your permission, I will get a piece of paper and draw shapes and schemes to help us, but it won't take five minutes. It can't take just five minutes. That is a concession you will have to make if you truly want to learn.

(Unfortunately, I don't want to disclose the title of my thesis on tunglr dot hell, because it's super specific and I don't feel like doxxing myself. But I hope this resonates with some people. I work both in symplectic geometry and Riemannian geometry, and I have to say between the two Riemannian is a little bit easier to explain, because I can just talk about distances, but symplectic geometry or Lie groups... I'm afraid I just can't explain those in a sentence because they rely on people knowing what differentiation means, and that's not knowledge you necessarily retain if you work outside a stem field. Explaining that in a few sentences would eat up the whole five minutes).

#mathblr #just my two cents #maybe I AM just stupid and bad at words #but i think this is a problem specific to maths because a lot of our stuff is abstract examples and applications of other abstract things #stuff that applies to surfaces and curves? i can kinda explain those #but something like coadjoint orbits? how the hell do you explain that to someone who barely remembers what a function is? #how do you get through the progression of lie groups - lie algebras - dual lie algebras with someone who doesn't know what differentiaion i

[unreadpoppy]

Halsin bear related headcanons

So, bears are a special interest of mine which means I have too much knowledge about this animal than what is allowed and I just...needed to make these involving my favorite druid's preferred wild shape. This is part romantic headcanons, part general hcs and part me using this man as an excuse to talk about bears.

As I said in another post, bears have an extremely accurate sense of smell, and they will leave their mark on their territory by rubbing their backs on trees to leave their scent. With that in mind, I can picture some days where Halsin is constantly hugging Tav, holding their hand, just being in physical contact with them, to sort of leave his smell on them. 

Maybe he would do that after noticing how Tav was smelling of others. 

On the topic of smells, bears are attracted by smell, so on days that the group is low on supplies, he wildshapes and scavenges for all sorts of fruits and plants, especially the more sweet ones. 

Also, Halsin sniffing Tav’s hair, especially after a good bath, and saying that it smells nice. 

Many species of bears are omnivourous, I think especially black bears, so Halsin will eat just about anything. If it looks fresh and edible, he will eat it. 

It also means that, during the weeks/months leading up to winter, he is going to be eating a LOT. 

Bears are not true hibernators and for Halsin, that could translate to him just sleeping more during winter time. 

Also, if it’s a particularly cold night, he’s wildshaping into a polar bear and enveloping his partner(s) in a tight and very warm hugs. I say polar bear in specific because they have the fur that is more adapted to handle cold weathers and because polar bear moms will often cuddle with their cubs because their (cubs) fur is still not developed enough to handle the weather, and picturing Halsin in bear form doing that is just so cute. 

Black bears in particular are great climbers and I can see Halsin picking up that as well. On a particular night, where the sky is clear, Halsin would transform into a bear, get his partner on his back, climb up the tallest tree around and then show them the stars and the moon. 

Also, getting a bit into more animalistic things, Halsin would be a very vocal guy, like grunting and growling when he's upset.

When confronted by someone who could be a threat, he'd use his already large size to his favor and try to intimidate the person away. Puffing up his chest, holding his head higher, just showing he's the bigger guy and he's not to be messed around with.

Getting particularly into more…naughty territory, I want to talk about courtship. On the more tame side, if Halsin has his eyes on someone, he’d follow them around more, get them to be comfortable around him. He’d be more playful, like being more outspoken of his intentions and flirting more, but just like real bears, he'd wait until his partner initiated it. 

I don't see Halsin as a possessive man overall, BUT, in specific situations, I can see this side of him coming out, because of bear instintcs. Male bears can get more aggresive towards other males during mating season, and I can see that affexting him.

Maybe he's courting someone and another person gets a bit too close (and his partner makes it clear they're not liking it), Halsin's gonna get into protective mode and scare the guy away.

The last two points are a bit more sexual, so I put them under the cut.

Also, after seeing a video and reading a couple of articles on it, yeah I can see Halsin being into primal play. 

His partner gets a good head start before he wildshapes into a bear and runs after them. Fun fact, bears can run up to 35-40 mph, so I can see him also like, stopping from time to time to prolong the hunt even longer. If his partner in a druid who can wild shape into a bear, I think it’d be even more interesting because the speed of both would be equal. 

Remember how I said he's a vocal guy? Yeah, he's going to be groaning, and moaning and grunting a lot during sex.

#halsin bg3 #halsin x tav #i needed to DESPERATLY get this off my system #also it's 3 am and i'm barely functioning #so not the best articulate thing ever #anyways someone please let me do aa three hour ted talk on bears #halsin #baldur's gate 3 #halsin headcanons

[soothingmoonlight]

It never occurred to me before that Maglor might have inherited his singing voice from his grandmother. However, as I was re-reading parts of Morgoth's Ring today this description of Miriel immediately made me think of Maglor.

"Soft and sweet was her voice, and she sang as she worked, like rippling water, in music without words." -Morgoth's Ring, The Later Quenta Silmarillion (II), Of Finwe and Miriel

I can easily see Maglor having soft and sweet voice and enjoying singing while he is doing his daily chores. But I think the similarities between grandmother and grandson do not here. It's quite possible that Maglor's melancholic nature/temperament could be another family trait that he got from Miriel, especially considering how each of their stories end. Miriel, after being reembodied, never goes back to the Noldor and Maglor, after casting the Simaril into the Sea, never comes back among the people of the Elves.

"Then the fëa of Miriel was released and came before Manwë and receivd his blessing; and she went then to Lorien and re-entered her body, and awoke again, as one that cometh out of a deep sleep; and she arose and her body was refreshed. But after she had stood in the twilight of Lorien a long while in thought, remebering her former life, and all the tiding that she had learned, her heart was still sad and she had no desire to return to her own people." -Morgoth's Ring, The Later Quenta Silmarillion (II), Of Finwe and Miriel

"And it is told of Maglor that he could not endure the pain with which the Silmaril tormented him; and he cast it at last into the Sea and thereafter he wandered ever upon the shores, singing in pain and regret beside the waves. For Maglor was mighty among the singers of old, named only after Daeron of Doriath; but he came never back among the people of the elves." - The Silmarillion, Of The Voyage of Eärendil

#maglor #makalaure #kanafinwe #makalaure kanafinwe #miriel #miriel therinde #silmarillion #house of feanor #sons of feanor #i may elaborate on this another time when it is not 5 am and i am not sleepy as hell #apologies for any spelling/grammar mistakes my brain is barely functioning #my posts

[wordsinhaled]

the thing too is that dream and hob are surely both woefully unprepared for the singlemindedness with which they would both insist on loving each other

dream is stubborn as shit and determined to warn people off himself because he knows when he loves someone it’s of cataclysmic proportions, in magnitudes of tens of thousands of years, but hob is equally stubborn as shit and has tens of thousands of years on offer and utterly refuses to let dream forget that fact

#how am i still a functional human being #just barely #don’t get sick of me yet #the sandman #dreamling

[uncanny-tranny]

You know... it's okay to trust your body. If you are separated from your body to such an extent you feel you cannot trust it, I truly from the bottom of my heart empathize and feel grief for you, but you can trust your body.

It's okay to listen to your body and to heed what it is telling you. I wish you (and your body) well wherever you go. You deserve the peace of mind to feel able to do what you want.

#positivity #mental health #mental health support #gentle reminders #this is something i struggle with myself so that's why i said i empathize (well... i guess as much as you CAN empathize) #(because even if you have gone through the same thing... it's not going to look the same as somebody else going through that) #(and while it can be valuable to express empathy it doesn't mean you truly 'get it' from the other person's point of view) #i struggle sometimes not to feel like my body is fucking with me because sometimes i expect it to function at bare minimum #or i just assume that when it is in debilitating pain that it's just... somehow to fuck with me and i am cognizant that this isn't true #i am cognitively aware that the body isn't Specifically Designed to have a Fuck With You mode even if it feels like it #but my experiences with disabilities and general unwellness made it easy for me to alienate myself from my body #in order to preserve myself i felt the need to separate myself from every flaw (or 'flaw') i have #so when people are confused about why you could mistrust your /own body/ it's stuff like this that can somewhat illustrate it #i think we don't really talk about this but i think it's more common than i would assume #(mostly based on the There Are Eight Billion People principle) #hm making this also makes me realize that abuse absolutely plays into how i mistrust my body. hm. #mistrust in your body feels like self-protection and self-preservation in this weird and almost twisted way (at least in my experience) #but then you start mistrusting *everything* and nothing feels... GOOD or NORMAL anymore #i'm going to play mahjong about this 🫡👍