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inkskinned · 10 months

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no, actually, where is the whimsy?

my ex had a best friend named larry who asked me once: what do you think comes after irony?

we were at the bar where larry worked. it was a quiet night, and he'd hopped over to sit with us on the patron side. i swirled the lemon around my limoncello martini.

earnest positivity, i said, while my ex said, art self-destructs.

i stared at my ex. he stared at me.

his argument was the cinemasins argument: look how bad media is becoming! look at the loopholes and the dumb shit!

it was roughly 2011. galaxy print was still in. at the time, i had a favorite shirt that was a wolf howling at the moon. it got ripped in half in the wash and i honestly still mourn it. i dressed like effie stonem, because everyone did. and irony was the name of the thing. men liked MLP "ironically." the internet liked the kind of crass, "anti-mainstream" vibes of things like fuck romance, touch my butt and buy me pizza. we put cats in sunglasses everywhere, which was because we only liked things in irony.

and media had the same vibe in it: anti-hero white men would be "hard to love" and then storm off the scene. nobody was just earnestly trying to save the world: they were jaded, angry, unoriginal. mad you even asked them to try to help.

my ex ends up not being wrong. cinemasins becomes super popular. a lot of people start viewing media with this lens that is the cruelest, most jaded depiction. it's wrong for your character to have unexplained powers, even if the entire movie is about how strange it is she has unexplained powers - that is still considered a "loophole." characters make thoughtless, panicked choices? loophole. characters are actually kind people, despite hardship? loophole. features a woman doing literally anything without assistance? loophole. movies become hyper-aware of scrutiny, and now irony rules the media.

which means you go to a movie, and the character has to turn to the screen and say "beats me!!" or one of the side characters has to have some kind of quip like "are you seriously telling me that you think this is normal?" because nothing can happen in earnest. like a sitcom laugh track, we now anticipate the fourth-wall break: the moment that the media acknowledges it is telling a story. the media has to apologize for itself, or else someone like my ex rolls their eyes.

but here's the thing: i wasn't wrong either.

the difference might be that i am (and always have been) so soft-hearted that any crack in the light of this world will spear me into the ground. and i was the poet in the relationship. (he thought that was the same thing as being naïve and stupid). i was making things daily. i knew how all of us artists are driven by some strange desire to evolve. he notably liked to critique art, not to create it.

so yes, i've made things that are bitter and angry and even ironic. i've made long, sharp poems with all capital letters, and i've made poems about how the silence stretches out like a song. someone wrote once that we will spend our whole lives just circling the place we grew up. i think it's more that we spend our whole lives trying to remake a home. i think it's that as we age, it becomes less exciting to build the castle on the beach - we become aware of erosion, of windforce. we realize what we really want is to come home to our dog, castle or not.

and while art in the foreground is mired in white male violence and irony, and aggression, and not taking anything seriously - i don't think that's true of all art. i think more and more artists are leaning in to the things we love. the world has changed so much. they have taken so many things from us. the only thing we have left is love. at the bottom of the moving box - all we get is the faint sense that we have to appreciate what little we've got. i can't enjoy this stuff ironically anymore: what room do i have for irony? if it makes me happy, that is an amazing thing. there are so few happy places left for me. i want to be happy because of how leaves shiver beside each other like nestling birds. i want to be happy because of the color pink, and how magenta doesn't exist. i have spent so much of this life suffering, i have earned my right to a gentle ending. if nothing matters, i get to assign meaning to the nothing. i get to create meaning. i am an artist first and foremost, which means creation is my thing.

where is the whimsy? wherever i fucking put it. because if this is my last fucking chance to do any good in this world - i want to do it earnestly. i want to write things that make you happy. that make people feel heard and seen. what comes after irony has to be positivity.

it was close to my 21st birthday. in 7 years, i would end up writing a book about this relationship, which is hopefully coming out somewhere around May 2024. i come back to this bar scene in my memories a lot. i keep thinking of how pale my ex was. the look that crossed his face. how i looked back at him. how for a moment, both of us couldn't recognize the other person. like the gulf between us was a suddenly wide and cavernous thing. like we were alien to each other. he never took my opinion seriously, and he always seemed surprised whenever his manic-pixie-dream-girl ever broke free of the plot. like in the whole time we were together, i wasn't human enough.

this knowledge: where he said nothing comes after, my only instinct was what comes after is love.

#spilled ink #writeblr #this is a real story lol #looking back i liked larry as a person SO much more than my ex hollyyyyy shitttt #compulsory heterosexuality will do you DIRTY #edit to correct effies name my apologies to effie and effies family

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multifunctionalnitroglycerin · 1 month

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Poe’s Annabel Lee in TLT #2

You thought I'd never post it huh? Well about a month later, here is the beast. Enjoy!

We have already delved into the most obvious parallel that the TLT books create, between John and Alecto and the heroes of Poe’s Annabel Lee. I would like to now draw some comparisons between Gideon and Harrow and Annabel Lee. This might seem a bit far-fetched, because how can John and Alecto AND Gideon and Harrow exist in the same premise within Poe’s lines?

The answer is simple. They don’t. Contradictory, I know, but a lot of that comparison and many of those parallels stem from the fact that those two pairings themselves are reflections of one another. Or perhaps picture negatives. After all, what John and Alecto had, stems from love, and it is plainly stated – as plainly as all things in Muir’s writing are, at least – whereas the beginning of Gideon and Harrow’s relationship sprouts from unadulterated loathing. We learn afterward of course that this is not really the case, what with Gideon sacrificing herself in an act she perceived as the only act of Love, she could offer to Harrow and whatnot. But the parallels are there. And it is deliberate, for John and Alecto broke the world, and Gideon and Harrow will remake it – or die trying. Muir has a wonderful way of interweaving elements in the plot and creating comparisons, parallels, and antitheses between the countless colorful dynamics in the books. So, I feel where John and Alecto broke the world, and are going to -probably – die, Gideon and Harrow will step up and mirror them, bringing hope back to the world. As @local-selkie said, the series probably won’t end without hope. Hope for reconciliation, for fixing what has been irrevocably broken, hope for breaking circles and hope for a better tomorrow. (Yeah well, I may be a cynic, but I am human above all, and if there is one thing that humans yearn for, live for and fight for, it’s hope. Naïve, childish, hope. It’s what makes us better, I think)

Onto drawing a few parallels now,

It was many and many a year ago

In a kingdom by the sea

That a maiden there lived whom you may know

by the name of Annabel Lee

Not really much to say about this one. Our story for these two starts about twenty years ago, in far off Pluto – well, the Ninth – with the salty ass underground (might point to there having been saltwater there at some point) where Wake collapsed dead, and a wailing Gideon was found. Harrow had not yet been born, and frankly neither of them would be what one would call a fair maiden.

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

than to love and be loved by me

I was a child and she was a child

In this Kingdom by the Sea

Here I feel we could consider this a reference to the shared childhoods of our heroines. The lonely, shared childhood of our heroines. For there were no other children on the Ninth, and they bitterly clung to each other with all they had. Even if it means beating each other into a pulp within an inch of their lives. Because Harrow was a child, and Gideon was a child on the far off Ninth, where there were no other children, and all they had was each other and their rivalry. So, I can see the whole “she lived with no other thought” than finding a way to make each other’s life hell. And as we see going forward in the books, that was all they could do to love each other, the only way they knew how.

But we loved with a love that was more than love—

I and my Annabel Lee;

With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven

Coveted her and me.

We loved with a love that was more than love, we loved with a love that felt like hatred, with a devotion that felt like abandonment, because Gideon could think of no greater act of love than sacrificing herself for Harrow, than letting Harrow consume her, and Harrow could think of no fate worse than that. Harrow loved Gideon so much the greatest act of service, of devotion, of love she could think to offer to her ill-matched cavalier was to spare her, to let her live. And they both failed spectacularly at that, but oh well. Angst.

As for the analogue to the seraphs, this is a bit trickier than John and Alecto. Because for them it’s obvious it’s the rest of the Lyctors, the Lyctors that couldn’t compete with John’s monster cavalier, the Lyctors that could never achieve their perfect connection. But who could it be that covets the connection between Harrow and Gideon? I think to be able to imagine an answer to that we should take a step away from the narrative and look at them from everyone else’s perspective. For the Niners it’s a no brainer. They know Gideon, they know Harrow, they would never think of a worthy connection between the two as highlighted by Crux’s words in NtN (and goodness if that didn’t hurt). But what about the Canaan House? Contrary to Harrow’s insecurities and paranoia, to the external observer they do present a united front. The two black clad nuns of the Ninth, with their veils and their disconcerting face paint, with their creepy/ damning/ borderline heretical prayer, the tiny unhinged necro, and the huge, silent Cav that disarmed Magnus in three moves, that seem so in sync it’s almost uncanny (“Death first to vultures and scavengers - AN ICON). So, I could see, the rest of the people in Canaan House at least envying their connection a bit, (if they haven’t already figured them out – like Pal and Ianthe), at least at first glance. And then there is ofc SYLAS OCTAKISERON, (I hate him, I am sorry, but if I could stick him headfirst to the ground I would). The Eighth generally isn’t that fond of the Ninth so no surprise there. I am rly not sure how the OG Lyctors would feel abt them but if you have any ideas feel free to share.

And this was the reason that, long ago,

In this kingdom by the sea,

A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling

My beautiful Annabel Lee;

So that her highborn kinsman came

And bore her away from me,

To shut her up in a sepulchre

In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,

Went envying her and me—

Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know, In this kingdom by the sea)

That the wind came out of the cloud by night,

Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

Alright, so as I mentioned before, this is where the tone shifts to something more chilly, if you will. No more fairytale notions – as much as Gideon and Harrow can be perceived as a fairytale. But if we want to be particular abt Gideon and Harrow’s timeline this is the exact point where Harrow makes herself a mausoleum for one more soul, Gideon. (The pain though). I know that at first, I interpreted kingdom by the sea as the Ninth, for Gideon and Harrow, but here I think it is safe to assume that it is referencing earth again, aka the First, where the final showdown for GtN is taking place. The highborn kingsman, I think again references the Lyctors only this time we are talking Cytherea, that forced Gideon’s hand, in sacrificing herself and Harrow partly consuming her. And now Gideon is a part of Harrow, locked away in her - soon to be lobotomized - temporal lobe.

And obviously Harrow aches for Gideon, for she never wanted this to be her fate. She consumed her out of necessity, not out of want. It is the process of Lyctorhood itself that comes and takes Gideon from Harrow, that causes this painful sacrifice, and has her clutching at whatever remnants of Gideon she has, as hard as possibly, with no plan whatsoever, but to preserve her, thus rendering Gideon’s sacrifice pointless.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love

Of those who were older than we—

Of many far wiser than we—

And neither the angels in heaven above,

Nor the demons down under the sea,

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee:

And this is Lyctorhood ala Harrow. Aka rendering the whole procedure useless, because you love your cavalier so much you cannot bear the thought of killing and consuming them. (Or well, Lyctorhood ala Ninth House, because Anastasia attempted preserving Samael first. I mean we can see that the Ninth Necros love their cavs too much – They literally both went, Immortality and immense power? No, thanks, I don’t want it without my cav by my side. They’re both ambitious enough to try, however, and we saw what that cost them). I think that this part works as a foreshadow for Gideon and Harrow in the future, (for a hopeful future) as well as it is the part with the closest parallel to Alecto and John. Because part of Alecto is in Harrow and part of Gideon is John, and their love is enough that Gideon kills herself for Harrow, no regrets, and the stubborn, little, malnourished nunlet lobotomizes herself to spare Gideon being consumed into nothingness. So yes, their love transcended that of the other Lyctors and their cavs, because they refused to make the sacrifice, because they loved each other so much they found a way to at least stop the procedure, instead of just ling down and taking it (well Harrow did, Gideon was ready to die for her. And again. How Gideon thinks so little of herself she thinks she is better off as a sacrificial lamb, and Harrow in her endless guilt just refuses to let her – masterful and painful in equal measure. They both feel betrayed, because the other didn’t let them die, but wanted them to live.

As for the never severing the souls, I have two words for you. Perfect Lyctorhood. (Just an idea, but we’ll see)

For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side

Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,

In her sepulchre there by the sea,

In her tomb by the sounding sea.

Dreams of the beautiful Annabel Lee, like the coffee-shop au dream/hallucination Harrow has? Like the constant nightmares where her brain glitches replacing Gideon with Ortus?

I must admit that this part to me also highlights the connection between Harrow – Anastasia’s Line – and Alecto. Because we meet Alecto through the dreams, because Harrow sees Alecto in her sleeping and wakeful hours, because in the dream Harrow is Alecto and Alecto is Harrow.

The bright eyes of the beautiful Annabel Lee, Alecto’s golden eyes, Gideon’s golden eyes, and Harrow’s own dark ones, that while not bottomless pits are pretty dark in their own measure. Now the lying down next to my beautiful Anabel Lee part, is… tricky for those two. I honestly don’t have many ideas abt it. I can picture it as Kiriona and Harrow sitting next to one another in the Tomb, and together undoing what has been done, and then having their happy ending, but that’s as far as it goes. If we take the idea that Harrow is the mausoleum in which Gideon’s soul is preserved, I can imagine that the whole thing will happen in the River. Perhaps from an access point on the Ninth, but literally this part is the one I most struggle to interpret.

Of course, we also need to take the biblical connections into account, and those biblical connections are in large why there are so many parallels between the two pairings. You have God and his offspring, that sacrifices herself, you have Harrow, who in a sense is also Christ going down in Hades in the days before the resurrection, and you have Alecto. John is Gideon and Harrow is Alecto and it’s a glorious mess. We have parallels in a love that transcends all that was known before, we have it starting from what is perceived as hate but in reality, is the last strings of their sanity sticking together, with a few sprinkles of codependence. And again, is that love truly as beautiful as it appears?

We do tend to romanticize it a lot in the fandom, but ultimately, it’s a story about grief and loss. Harrow’s story is abt grief and loss and guilt. The future of the ninth was sacrificed for her to be born, her whole planet will be lost if she doesn’t find some way to help it, she has already lost so much and sacrificed so much to be where she is, and the last straw is Gideon’s death and coming back as Kiriona. And Gideon, Gideon that was born alone on the ninth that no one wanted, no one paid attention to but Harrow – Harrow who made her life a living hell yes, but Harrow who talked to her, even if it was just to exchange insults. Gideon abandoned by the world, that loved Harrow and harrow abandoned her too, in choosing not to utilize her sacrifice. Their stories are so interwoven with themes of love, loss, and grief, that the parallels are hard not to draw.

Anyhow, I am beat. I hope this makes sense. Feel free to add your own thoughts and comments, and don’t forget to take care of yourselves.

Till next time!

PS check out @katakaluptastrophy's post abt the descent of Christ/Harrow in Hades here.

It's spectacular, as usual (The articulation is so on point I cannot. I feel like a mad scientist reading a scholar's work every time). And perhaps with the Orthodox Easter approaching I might take the chance to revisit the scriptures myself.

And @fkapommel's post abt the duality of the Christ symbolism in Gideon and Harrow here.

I enjoyed this too much not to recommend it.

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snuggleboots · 5 months

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♡ in which i'm still having big feelings about kisame. naturally, i'm cramming the reader into said big feelings. have some genin and newly-graduated chunin kisame and reader, his one and only friend (´。＿。｀) it's dark, lots of death, so huge dni to minors. ♡

♡ might make this a dumb little series of drabbles, maybe? i'm sure as hell not dropping a whole thing in one post when it turned entirely into a chunin selection thing. it's choppy, probs has mistakes, but that's because i wrote it here and i am dogshit tired and slightly scared to post smth i just roughed out here :' ) ♡

Tags: kid kisame (6-10), kid reader (6-10), reader-insert, canon/reader friendship, dark themes, such as kiri's chunin selection, mentioned child deaths (the chunin selection), angst, shock/trauma.

It's a death of spirit, slow to manifest, to make your home in another person. The innocence of youth was never something fostered in the Land of Water, reclusive and cutthroat was the village that stands bastion in the heart of the island nation. Those of the Mist learn young that survival is a series of little deaths, each one an intangible shepherd to the next that awaits them.

Kirigakure, where connection is granted to budding shinobi for the sake of becoming one of life's many harsh lessons. It's when you're small, and your childish sense of hope is somehow still naïve and alive, that something so treasured as a comrade is allowed to be anything more than a means to an end. Sharing meals, and clinging to life by the skin of your teeth through missions too gruesome for children so young, one's genin team is often one's first true taste of friendship.

He was so young when you met, six years old at best; a competitive thing- oblivious of his own strength and rough at times, but fierce in his loyalty. It started then, a boy with a gruff heart too big for his body, and a sawtooth grin that looked more frightening than he ever bothered to actually be. He was your friend, with cute ears that stuck out and gills that sometimes flared in a way that made you helpless but to laugh, and an unyielding sense of self-assurance that made missions less frightening, so long as it was him that fought at your side.

Hoshigaki Kisame was not a monster. Not as you knew him.

Companions in a shared misery back then, you were each other's determined and desperate support through the trials of your paths; assurances shared with conviction carried you through the horrors that no heart so soft as yours should ever have been forced to witness. You wanted to heal, he strove to conquer the art of blades.

Children are, unfortunately, as precious as they are blind, and their pride is earned hard through enduring that which would cull their lessers. Together though, there was nothing that could stop the unbeatable two that made him and you. It was a connection found only by the miracle of chance, a friendship forged through the four years shared as junior shinobi. Your sensei, your third man - they existed beyond the bubble of two.

You were children together, once.

But in the Bloody Mist, you fight or you die. It was a death of heart to swallow the fear in your throat when it came time for selection. Ten years old by then; it was cold that day, and the pit in your stomach was nearly all-consuming when Kisame bid you the first of many goodbyes. 'Just in case', he'd said - his voice quiet, and heavier than you'd ever heard it then - just in case one of you failed to survive. It was better to say goodbye now than risk losing his chance if it had come down to facing you.

Through the chūnin selection your three-man squad became a bitterly victorious two-man cell. It was only a small mercy given to you by chance that you weren't forced to face Kisame, and not yet was he forced to turn his strength on his team. He survived by the ferocity of his blade whereas you weathered the terrified betrayal of your third man, a soft-spoken boy no older than you. A tracker - or, at least he would have been.

Surviving that was the first time you saw Kisame's eyes feral and searching, his developing muscles drawn taut and teeth bared like a wild animal as he tore through the small ceremony of fellow children-turned-soldiers that had proved their mettle in the slaughter, each newly minted journeymen shinobi drenched in the blood of their friends.

Some were too stunned from the shock of their own actions, most too numb to react to the Hoshigaki boy who sought you out like one drowning sought the ocean's surface. There was no pretence of honour or achievement to be found in the way his hands, still slick and stinking of iron, had gripped your shoulders when he finally found you, as if you were the only tether he had left to anything good.

Neither of you smiled that day. There was no crooked grin that greeted you there, and no stifled tittering that followed the frenzied flaring of his gills to welcome him in turn, not that time. Finding each other through the bloodshed as official chūnin, you both learned that no amount of conditioning could have prepared either of you for the reality of taking the lives of your compatriots. It felt different, somehow more visceral, compared to cutting down someone marked an enemy.

Kill or be killed, neither of you had any other choice. That day would not be the one that marked his end, nor your own. Not yet - he was manic and peaked, you were despondent and spiralling - not yet. You weren't ready. He wasn't ready. Not yet. It was a shame that you weren't built for killing, and an even greater one that Kisame's concept of a comrade, that day, began chipping down to you. You became the exception.

Fear is something any child is bound to experience in life; a crawling dread felt in their bones when something goes bump in the night. It wasn't fear he had felt, and he was a child no longer when he emerged as one of the several victorious. No, the young swordsman-to-be was a selfish boy, he knew, because what he felt when he'd shoved his face into your hair and squished his nose into the crown of your head was the shameful sensation of relief. So many had died horrible, gruesome deaths - but not you. You lived, you breathed, you were shaking like a leaf and staring through him, but at least you were alive.

He was surely broken, and at that point so were you, but at least you had survived.

Your body moved through the motions of a person after the fact, while each champion was recognised, your stare one thousand yards detached from the moment when the weight of your certificate soaked up the death from your killing hands. You hadn't had it a moment, hadn't had the chance to exchange it for your hitai-ate, and already it was marked with blood. You were meant to feel proud, strong for having outwitted and overpowered the others, too weak to serve the village - yet, you'd felt sick. Bile burned the back of your throat, swallowed down hard while your brain marked you a hypocrite that day, despite the ceremony of congratulations thrown in the faces of you and your peers.

It was a blur, what little remained of that day. You have no memory now, nor did you then, of dragging yourself to the baths, but you know that every time you closed your eyes you saw the faces of those you'd defeated. Their faces stricken with panic or wet with desperate tears, voices squeaky or hoarse in their last moments - your kunai buried deep in the throat of your squadmate, his tantō skewered through the fleshy part of your waist. Pain, in every manner of which it existed.

No matter how desperately you'd scrubbed, your skin left raw and burning, your breathing haggard and unbearably tight, the blood never seemed to wash clean from your hands. Kisame was a persistent one, perceptive for his age and unwilling to part while his brain somehow struggled to rationalise that you lived, even if you'd left his sight. He'd scrubbed your back and bid the little comfort of his company - a silent sentinel that never once mentioned the strangled sobs that wracked your body when finally, you'd worn through what little energy you had left.

You couldn't understand why you cried.

And he had no answer as to why you didn't feel clean - he didn't either, though it bothered him somewhat less than it did you. Then, he'd never had as optimistic an ambition as yourself. His path was always of the sword.

You'd managed to patch your own wounds, and then Kisame's - because that was meant to be your path. The medic, the healer, a preserver of life. The death of hope was dealt through the cold realisation that you would never truly be that. At least, not in this lifetime. Not like this.

You were naïve to have ever thought that the path of a medic was above the demand of bloodshed.

It was he who helped you fix your clothes when your fingers refused to, no words exchanged when he pulled you under his arm and guided you from the baths - it was good, at least, that you'd washed up before heading for home. The silence shared between you, then, remained unbroken out of respect for those unfortunate dead. Loyal to a fault, and in search of an excuse to be near, he'd helped you back to the tiny apartment you called your own.

You felt many things that he didn't, then - but it didn't make you weak. You survived selection, you'd survive this too, he knew.

Your home was empty, polluted with noise from the market district beyond your windows, inhabited at that point only by yourself - still a child, yet so alone. Long had the Land of Water suffered civil wars - and your parents' lives were claimed somewhere along the line, but at the very least he was there. This world had no shortage of children orphaned, and like you, there was no one left alive to have awaited his return.

His home was with you. At least, it was then.

You were children together, once.

That day, through a series of deaths both tangible and in spirit, began the first of many goodbyes. To childhood, to juvenile altruism, and to the hope of most things good.

But not Kisame.

Kisame was not a monster, not then, at least. Not ever when you knew him.

#kisame #kisame x reader #akatsuki #naruto #naruto x reader #writing tag #kisame hoshigaki #reader insert #the night we met by lord huron carried me thru this one #really want to work on making my writing more narrative rather than w/e it usually ends up being ugh #also want to write some comfort as an addition to this but that'll come later maybe #this is dark - but i cannot see anyone having a good time in the bloody mist era #i rly dont think they went easy on their genin given the whole - y'know - chunin selection being what it is

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ddarker-dreams · 6 months

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Patiently waiting for your thoughts on Fontaine’s new archon quest 🫡

oh man. i do have some thoughts to share.

(warning for spoilers to those who haven't played through the latest archon quest)!

OKAY, so — overall? i enjoyed it. the fortress of meropide section felt a little tedious at times, i'm begging mihoyo to abandon those awful 'stealth' 'gameplay' sections. aside from that though, i was always interested enough to keep moving ahead. i especially like how they wrote navia. the story of her and her father got me emotionally invested in her as a character, i actually teared up at one point.

i was glad they avoided their infamous 'introduce a character and have them betray you' shtick. idk if that was a quota they had to reach before and that's why they did it so often, but in any case, it made for a refreshing change. the reveal of fontaine's history, the serial disappearances, focalors and furina; there were lots of intriguing story beats. furina's story might somehow be one of the saddest in genshin yet?? the execution of the reveal and the final conversation between focalors and neuvillette packed a strong emotional punch.

onto my gripes...

childe. why. why'd they do my man like that. the buildup was so interesting! the cutscene where he helps neuvillette subdue the space whale had me frothing at the mouth. him in his foul legacy armor ... his leitmotif playing... him growling and grunting.... oh, how happy i was, naïve thing that i am. i was a bit confused how they dedicated a total of three seconds to traveler and the floating fiend going 'oh wow there's childe ig.' like ??? at this point in the story, i thought they were sorta buddies??

the space whale's execution confused me. i expected it to be deeply tied to fontaine's past, or at the very least give some abyss bread crumbs, but it just kinda flopped around and stuff. the fight was cool, don't get me wrong. but the whole 'yeah this whale is some dude's pet lol' bit just felt odd. i get that they want to prove the Big Important Name Fella is suuuper important and suuuper strong but c'mon. at least make the space whale a creation that ran rampant or something.

i could've forgiven the space whale shenanigans if we got a nice conversation with childe at the end. how did he feel in the abyss? was he fighting the whale to keep the people of fontaine safe, out of bloodlust, or something in between? what was it like seeing skirk again? how much time felt like it passed when he was in whale abyss prison? does his vision resonate with him properly again?

instead, we just get a few throwaway lines that he's back in snezhnaya healing up. did they run out of budget to book his VA?? i get they have to be selective with lore drops, but there are so many ways around that.

my last major gripe is how they went about furina's character quest. maybe i'm just an oversensitive weenie (i definitely am), but the traveler and flying creature's interactions with furina... i was physically grimacing. how did they seriously think it was a good idea to ask the person who has been tormented by acting for 500 years to give the stage another shot? imo, it would've been fine if they tried that, furina rejected them, and everything played out about the same. but those bits where traveler + the imp kept pressuring furina felt so weeeeeeird. i genuinely didn't want to click the dialogue options. if this was framed differently, that would've also been fine, but it's kinda a 'haha :3 epic paimon says teehee te nandayo reddit gold' light.

tl;dr i liked the overall experience but someone needs to delete paimon from the game + treat their characters as more than a punchline.

#lock plays genshin #answered #Anonymous

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wonderinc-sonic · 12 days

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How about everything in Dramatic for Team Sonic?

Team Sonic - I am presuming you mean the og 3, Sonic Tails and Knuckles?

😨 What do they each fear? Do the other's know?

Well everyone knows Sonic's scared of water. Knuckles totally flicks water on him to piss him off. Tails tries to get him to back off.

And they know Tails is scared of thunderstorms. I think Sonic would be understanding, and Knuckles thinks its reasonable - the lightning storms up on Angel Island are no joke.

Knuckles got away with not letting on that he had any fears for a long long time. Probably until heroes. He does not like ghosts though, and he's in good company. Sonic definitely sticks a sheet on his head to spook them though, because he's a bitch 💙

Other than their obvious fears, I think Sonic gets scared of sleep paralysis, and dreams about his feet getting stuck, so maybe also quicksand getting to him? I think Tails is scared of lots of supernatural things, not just ghosts but also zombies and werewolves. Not so bad he can't do halloween, but he's easily spooked by horror stories. Knuckles is also kinda... well not scared, but on edge in social settings. Gets very riled up about it.

🤕 Have they shared with eachother what hurt them the most? How do they care for eachother?

No! Hell no! We're just cheerful bros, right!

'Hey, Sonic...'

'Go to sleep, Knuckles.'

'Do you think about... what happens after we die?'

'More since I died.'

'What?'

'... honk shoo. Mimimimi.'

Sonic will not talk about his pain ever, not until it literally becomes a huge problem for everyone else. Tails... is gonna follow in his footsteps, but Sonic was there when he was a hungry little kit with nobody to love him. Knuckles probably would talk about his worst memories. But not like, looking for comfort, more like 'hey here's a fun story - the Master Emerald one time threw me off the island to teach me to fly, so I smacked into the cliff and went unconscious' And they just have to try to unpack that

🏥 How is their health? What do they worry about for eachother?

Knuckles is throwing vegetables at them. Please, eat some fibre. How are you guys going to the toilet? Pls.

Yeah, Sonic eats like dogshit, never gets his teeth checked, just presumes every ache and pain will go away if he ignores it.

Tails is much more curious about these things, I think once he's had a thought he can't let it go. Because of him, Sonic gets his shots and stuff. Knuckles... he worries about their health, but he doesn't really trust medics. He might get his vaccines if Tails can explain it to him well enough. I think mostly they don't worry about eachother's health, they're too busy feeling invincible.

🗣 What can get them to raise their voices?

Excitement. I think Tails gets louder and louder when he's talking about things, and faster and faster. Also if Tails is frustrated and not being understood, same happens. Knuckles shouts defensively, sorta like a scared cat might howl. When he's happy he's quite soft spoken. He's recently picked up the sense to joke around, yelling about things he's not actually mad about only to switch out on people, but only Sonic, Tails and maybe Amy can tell it's a joke.

Sonic does shout, he's not scared to be loud, but he doesn't do it over just anything. He does not like not being heard however. If he's mad at you, and you're not listening, he'll shout. Especially if you're Knuckles. Never if you're Tails.

☣️ What's each of their top toxic trait/ vice? Is it funny or a problem?

Sonic's toxic trait might be burying his feelings. He's sort of getting better, and he is emotionally intelligent, and it's hard to tell if he's doing it out of some sense of duty as a hero, or because it's a habit built from being a natural loner. It makes it hard to be his teammate sometimes.

Knuckles isn't toxic for being naïve, but he is a stubborn arse. He will resist even more if everybody tries to pressure him to change his mind, very non-newtonian contrarion. He gets himself into arguments he doesn't really mean to just because he doesn't like being seen to back down, then can't figure out how to fix it and needs help.

Tails is a bit young to have entrenched toxic traits, but we can already see he will be a workaholic. He's also likely going to be quite competitive, especially as he starts measuring up his achievements next to Sonic's, who he struggles to find fault in. So, I think that could be a problem for them down the line, but for now - no, I'm not calling an 8yo problematic!

My dream team favourite silly guys, why don't I write them more? Oh yeah, because I'm scared I'll never do them justice! I hope this is all okay, and thank you so much for the ask!!!

Tag game here!

#jayeuse #wonderincs #team sonic #sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #knuckles the echidna #sonic heroes #thanks for the ask!!

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absolutebl · 1 year

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This Week in BL - KISSES galore

Jan 20232 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

My School President (Fri YT) 6 of 10 - The mutual squealing and kicking and rolling over in bed was v cute. Tiw might actually be the greatest BL wingman of all time, yes better than Namgoong. Friend zone? Cute GMMTV, very cute. Elevator kiss, on the other hand = you little shits. Also, I’m mad you made me watch the MV because there was no way to skip through it without missing stuff. Tricky bastards. GMMTV = cute, shitty, & tricky all in one ep. Guess that’s why they’re the top of the Thai BL food chain.

Never Let Me Go (Tues YT) 5 of 12 - We knew that this pair kisses really well, but for the characters that was a pretty stellar first kiss. I liked that we got to see Palm really want something for a change. Up until now, he’s been a pretty passive character, constantly told what to do by others, this is the first independent choice his character actually makes in this narrative. Meanwhile the action part of the bodyguard plot has begun, which makes me happy. Let the forced proximity cohabitation trope commence! With probably at least one running through the woods holding hands to come.

Between Us (Sun iQIYI) 9 of 12 - Basically a filler ep with in-your-face backstory we already sussed. Prem is doing a good job tho. WATCH ALONG HERE.

609 Bedtime Story (Fri WeTV) 8 of 11 - There was no GamesVee. I’m sad.

Cutie Pie 2 You (special) 2 of 4 - Awwwww, how sweet they tried to give it a plot. Operative word being: tried.

I Will Knock You (Fri Gaga) 9 of 12 - Stuff in tents. Lots of cringing blushing maiden bullshit. Noey = v bold and into public claiming. I’m not wild about this one.

Remember Me (Sun Gaga) 14fin - Honestly, they were branded pairs so we knew ManTitle were goona kiss, but I kinda wish they hadn’t bothered. These characters just didn’t work for me as a couple. Marriage equality stinger* on this puppy. Still, what a slog. I’m only binging stuff from this studio henceforth. (Next one: Buddy Line Y Animal). Whatever. Frankly that’s my review of the show: whatever. 5/10

* I do like that this drama teased a marriage and then intentionally never gave us that marriage on screen. For all romance genre fans, this would've felt like a slap in the face. Instead they put in a stinger that essentially said “if you want a marriage scene between men, legalize marriage in Thailand, you fuckers.” And ya know, I’m here for that.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

The New Employee (Korea Weds Viki) 4 of 8 - Ooo first date. Omg they are SO CUTE. There was a lot of squealing and flapping of hands on this side of the screen with the show. Also two out gay boys! Korea how far you have come in just a few short years! If adorable our baby boy’s 2 fag hags don’t get together by the end of this show, I will be a touch disappointed. (It has to be said. I’m not expecting it because this is still Korea doesn’t do sides in BL. But hope springs eternal.) Meanwhile, I like that there was actual desire expressed with these two. This is definitely one of the gayest BLs to have come out of Korea in recent years. If you’re confused like I was, that pen has the initial of baby’s ex crush from uni on it.

HIStory 5: Love in the Future (Taiwan Weds Viki) 3 of 10 (or 6 of 20) - Classic that Taiwan has finally given us a femme character in a BL and he is predatory & evil. The secondary couple is the most adorable thing, I even forgive them a pratfall kiss, because there was a 3 piece suit involved. I am starting to like the main couple a little bit more, mostly because of the rich kid character. I love domesticity, and Taiwan always does it so well. The main character time traveler whatever remains a bit annoying, I prefer a sunshine archetype that is not intentionally naïve to the point of stupidity. Still, I’m invested. This is classic HIStory franchise.

Candy Color Paradox AKA Ameiro Paradox (Japan Fri Gaga) 4 of 8 - It’s a bit too much second hand embarrassment and cringe for me. I hope Japan someday gives us a BL like Eternal Yesterday, where both characters are cool and no one dies. Incidentally, if you’re playing a game of spot that BL actor, the one playing the “actor character” is Izuka Kenta (from The Novelist and Absolute BL2). WE LOVE HIM.

The Director Who Buys Me Dinner (Korea Weds iQIYI) 9-10fin - I honestly don’t know how I feel about this one. It was more of a red thread fated mates who are fated to repeat the mistakes of the past. Shall we call it faded mates? And I’m not sure, even though the ending is somewhat optimistic, that I am actually optimistic about it or them as a couple. So I wouldn’t call it HEA.

Final review? Featuring a gorgeous & stellar cast, TDWBMD should have utilized them less for melodrama and more for chemistry. This BL is a unique twist on an office romance if NOT a unique twist on a doomed red thread trope, resulting in it feeling less than the sum of its parts and ultimately unsatisfying. Possibly this had to do with the fact that this was one of those KBLs where I felt how short it was the whole time, like I was missing something constantly, in every episode. No HEA. Worth watching for some but seriously flawed. 6/10

It’s Airing But I’m Not Watching It

The Star Always Follow You (Vietnam YT) - same Team RL peeps we have seen before (Sunshine, Stupid)

GMMTV’s Midnight series - first segment has begun bit it’s not the EarthMix messy gays. I’m so not interested in messy hets, so I’m waiting until they grace my screen. Moonlight Chicken (Weds YT) 1 of 8 eventually.

Gossip

I’m gonna hold off on The Warp Effect and binge it later, after I know for sure if the BL couple makes it.

I will be taking everyone‘s advice and not watching Till the World Ends sorry not sorry. Protecting my squishy center (also I HATE xmas carols.)

In Case You Missed It

I posted a meta of all my 2022 wraps, top picks, industry stats, etc..

I ALSO posted the 2023 forthcoming BL master post.

Coffee Shop shorts series with the adorable couple from Ghost Host, Ghost House have a WONDERFUL new installment with "BLACK COCONUT". You should watch it. Also... try the drink.

Love Bill (Vietnam Sat YT) starring Bah Vinh ended its run and IT’S SAD. I am so glad I waiting because now I’m not gonna watch it. So there.

Adorable KGL Girlfriend Project, basically a very short lesbian version of Love Class. It’s cute.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Jan 19: Individual Circumstances (Korea Thurs Viki) 8 eps - A reunion romance between a movie director who was once promising and a writer who disappeared due to past wounds. Stars JunQ (main rapper of 2nd gen group MYNAME) and Han Jung Wan (Mr International Korea winner).

2023 forthcoming BL here

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

The LOOK in his eyes. I really hope we get more than crumbs from Satang Kittiphop in the future.

Also, that outfit, definitely an instrument of hope. (Mark is going to be in Moonlight Chicken, Cooking Crush, Last Twilight, & Only Friends this year. Apparently GMMTV’s directors like him a lot. So ALL the hope. Plus more sweater vests without shirts, please and thank you.)

Relatable.

FINALLY! (all are My School President, it was a GREAT ep this week)

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? Well Monsta X released a new single, Beautiful Liar, so yeah, THAT!

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centrally-unplanned · 6 months

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I wanted to respond to this post from a bit ago, because I thought it was a good challenge. Certainly Japan is a wildly different country from the US, so the way it can be used sometimes as a "YIMBY model" can often be naïve. It is not YIMBY in many ways, for sure. Cowen sets out a list of ways Japan either isn't YIMBY or would have other reasons for its lower rents; as he puts it:

Yet the more I think about it, the more I tend to believe a very different proposition: Japan is in key ways a very NIMBY country, and its brand of NIMBYism has keeps real estate prices down. A corollary is this: YIMBYism gets much less credit for low Tokyo real estate prices, and furthermore the low real estate prices are a sign of something having gone wrong on the productivity side, in large part due to regulation.

So lets see how it holds up:

1. Japan has had very tough immigration restrictions. This has eased considerably, but a) the stock matters not just the flow, and b) current Japanese migrants often are from countries such as Thailand and the Philippines, which fills in for some mid-level jobs, but does not massively boost rents.

Meh - True, though its more cultural then legal imo. But we aren't talking about Japan, we are talking about Tokyo. Tokyo has has large amounts of internal migration from the rest of Japan; meanwhile its not like NYC's net population has increased dramatically in the past 20 years from immigration. Unless immigrations have magic rent soil I'm not seeing this.

2. It is extremely difficult to learn written Japanese. Among its other effects, this discourages high-value immigrants from settling into very high productivity service jobs in Tokyo or in Japan more generally.

Meh - definitely true! Japan needs language reform lol. But like above, immigration isn't magic rent soil, its about net people.

3. Various regulatory and legal decisions have prevented Tokyo from developing into the financial capital of Asia (haven’t you wondered about this?). I won’t go into all the detail here, this is the modern world so just ask ChatGPT. I’m sure you all know that major financial centers usually lead to exorbitant rents, due to the opportunity cost of the land.

Boo - so I literally asked ChatGPT, since I was curious, and I got absolutely nothing - just vague platitudes and literally some of the other reasons from this list, like "It lacks immigration". I don't doubt some of this is true, but I don't think its a load bearing reason it isn't a financial center. Or at least don't be lazy and tell us what they are.

Which I think is relevant, to be clear - but I think might be a bit more endogenous than the article is letting on. The inability to financialize rents in Tokyo might in fact be a reason its less of a financial center!

4. So, so much of Japanese regulatory policy and culture is geared toward maintaining small retail businesses, super small in scale, and low in productivity. They do not place much upward pressure on rents. By the way, this is one reason why tourists find Tokyo so wonderful, but those enterprises lower productivity considerably relative to say Walmarts. It is no accident that so many Japanese examples populate “Markets in Everything,” that they have cat and furry cafes, and so on.

Probably True - I think he is exaggerating, and like "culture" is doing a lot of work here, but its definitely true that Japan has large small business orgs that work hand-in-hand with government to shape the urban ecology for them. The big companies are doing their own thing of course, but I am open this idea for sure. Japan's business-political complex is very vast.

But of course it might all just be downstream of the rents; if rent is low, you can build whatever.

Overall, I think meh? But I think a better argument could be made - we do need more detailed understandings of how Japan's real estate market functions in relation to its urban planning. I see one or the other in a box a lot, but the interaction I think should be dug into more.

#yimby discourse

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archaiclumina · 7 days

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@ahollowgrave kindly asked these questions in the tag of the post I made for yesterday's mayncient prompt, and I thought I would answer! (publicly for a change c':) It gets rambly tho because I am a rambler, so I have used a cut c':

The answer to the first question is, and always will be, no. One of the things that's absolutely necessarily required for Ren to figure out where one of her memory salads has come from is something tactile. This could be something that belonged to the owner of the memory which they had on them at the time of an event traumatic enough to leave the latent aetheric signature of their memory upon it. (This was the method which allowed her to recall the memory of her father's murder, which no one believes her about, of course! via his deck of sixty.)

Or it could be another item they've been in very recent contact with that has some relevance to a traumatic memory of theirs. This is how she came to know Callineaux broke his arm by jumping off a balcony because he wanted to be a Dragoon when he was a child. (They were cataloging Ishgardian reliquaries at work, and he was reminiscing about it while they were writing up the attributes of a broken lance.) Here's what Ren "remembered" after Cal handed over the lance.

It was two cups of coffee later when they got back to the broken polearm and its fragmented glaive. “I’ll write this one up just as a potential reliquary, yes?” she asked Cal, glancing up at him for just a moment as she took the haft. In the space of a breath, she remembered everything he had remembered. The grassy field, that bold yet naïve conviction. Looking over his shoulder to be sure none of the staff had seen. The way the dark silhouette had curved and cut the sunrise like a hunting hawk. The people swanning around in their summer finery. The lush gardens, all manicured. The coy smile of Seraphine, the wistful wish to impress her. The tempered argument of his young friend. The slap of his boots upon the iron railing of the balcony terrace. The swift and unavoidable rushing of the ground and the pretty picket fence, his eyes streaming water. And of course, the jolt of agony, the way it felt on impact, which she didn’t really feel, but remembered feeling all the same; like some phantom pain. All of this, and probably more, in an instant. She just knew it.

So, Ren's ability to uncover the truth about any of her past lives is limited to the off chance she encounters some rare and very old relic that belonged to one of them. As her writer, I don't intend for that to ever happen as a lot of the fun of writing her (and all the other OCs past incarnations) for me is that she doesn't understand any of it, so it all just makes her kind of weird!

However, Ren's memory salads or bad echo™ as I sometimes call it, isn't limited to items she's in contact with. The invasive memories are triggered by ambient latent aether from any source. Places, other people's presence, and also things she reads in books that she might have once experienced. These don't present themselves in the form of any visions like the WoL's echo. A big part of this is because I have aphantasia and so don't see visions in my head, and I wanted to have a go at trying to like, write what I "see" when I see things in my mind for fun. The in-character reason is because of the damage to her eye as a child. Like a person with aphantasia, Ren can only see in dreams. But she doesn't really have weird dreams! (That's Oli's domain c': ) So, her memory salads are just new words, phantom feelings and sensations in her head. They basically just become shit she knows now. This is why I make the running joke about her knowing a lot of recipes for Allagan Meatloaf and Gelmorran marinated mushrooms (against her will no less, because she can't cook them.) She has translated a lot of tomestones and old texts, and these can often trigger a memory from a person they once belonged to. Ren just has no way of ever encountering this person and figuring out "oh this is your memory!" by deductive reasoning.

In answer to the second question. Ren first "remembered" all her summons when her Mother made her look at the moon through her whacky aetherial star gazing device. But she was six, so she didn't really know what was going on. Full disclosure, she still doesn't know what's going on. However, she has recalled two of Galatea's concepts at different times since then, and these replace her fire and air egi. Cordenym she recalled again learning about the basic principles of summoning using arcanima — namely that a summon can look like whatever the summoner imagines it to look as, whereby carbuncles and fairies are simply the most commonly manifested form. So, she thinks her memory from Galatea is her own imagination! This is unlike Lunearch. She also recalled Lunearch as Dalamud was falling. This is because Galatea's past life during the time of Allag summoned Lunearch regularly. (Summoning the weird lightning lion with antlers was kinda her thing as a High Summoner.) She recently had to use Lunearch during some shenanigans with Callineaux and his gambling enemies in a RP my husband and I were doing. So, here's how she tries to explain Lunearch to people. (Credit to him for all Cal's portion of this conversation.)

She paused at his next question, setting aside the needle very slowly while she considered her reply. “Lunearch.” She said, referring to the summon by name. “Well, I…” It was such a bother to explain her summons to people, it’s why she so very rarely used them. “It’s sort of like… it’s someone else’s summon. Not mine. It uh… It was someone's who lived a long time ago… and I adapted my spell from theirs.” “Someone else's summon, then?" he mused, a hint of admiration in his voice as he adjusted the silk bottoms. They fit weirdly well considering how much shorter Zan was than him. "Impressive, to say the least. Whose summon is it then?" “Well,” she said after swallowing her mouthful of sandwich, reaching for her glass of water again with her other free hand. “As I said, they’re not alive anymore.” She took a sip, washing down the last of the curried egg, “Unfortunately I don’t know their name, so I can’t give it to you. I only know about Lunearch's… But uh… they were Allagan.” She offered a shrug, biting into the remainder of the sandwich and polishing it off. "Allagan…" he mused, nodding thoughtfully. "This sounds a little bit over my head.” He was unsure how she would have managed to even learn all this without knowing someone's name, but came to the conclusion it would be from a book. “Must have been an old book. You’ll have to show me some time.” Of course, he’d think she’d learned it from a book. Where else would she learn it? She gave a pensive hum, fishing out a few of the blueberries from the near-empty cup, chewing slowly again before she answered. Pondering what her reply should be. “I can’t show it to you, I’m afraid.” Clearly amused he even wanted to see something he’d self-admittedly said was over his head. Her eyes settled on his for a long moment, lips twisting into a smirk of sorts before she eventually phrased her cryptic reply. “It’s kind of like, a secret knowledge, you see."

She is yet to recall her third summon yet, (it's name is Ignixotl, and if I am brave, I might post some excerpts of some scenes with them for some of the later prompts in mayncient! I hope to be able to do some RP around Dawntrail which will put her on the path to re/discovering her third summon x3)

I hope this lengthy explanation makes sense c': Thank you very much for asking a bit about Gal's concepts/Ren's summons! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

#lorebending #galatea #ren #cal #thank you for all of those lovely tags!!#<3

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dalishious · 2 years

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The Pros and Cons of the Codex

Good roleplaying games tend to have a lot of lore packed into the world; it’s one of the most appealing aspects to players like myself, who enjoy spending countless hours studying these creations. But how do you fit all that lore into a game that is already very large? For many franchises, this is where collectible extra bits of reading come in. Assassin’s Creed has its database, The Elder Scrolls has its many books and letters, and Dragon Age has its codex. But there are both pros and cons to this function in a game.

Dragon Age codex entries are written in the perspective of people living in the world. For example, many take the form of excerpts from books written by the Chantry scholar, Brother Genitivi. Or they might be little notes left behind by a person, then found by the player. Or they might be letters written between two people who may never even actually, physically appear in the game, but leave their presence through the codex.

The great thing about this is, the flavour added is extra spicy when it feels like it is coming from an actual person. Someone took the time to write something down, that your character then comes across, without breaking immersion. It gives you the player more information about the world, while at the same time gives the character you’re roleplaying as more information about the world. It feels much more real than if you, the player had knowledge that your character wouldn’t realistically ever be able to know.

But there is trouble with in-universe written codex entries as well: The biggest being, this perspective can be biased. If you’re reading something about the Qunari written by a Chantry scholar, chances are it will refer to them in a very poor light, compared to how the Qunari would refer to themselves. Why? Because within universe, the Chantry is full of racist zealots. So when your character comes across something like this in Dragon Age Inquisition:

Scrawled Note You've heard how the Dalish would hang trespassers. Hung them from trees, is what they say! Would you believe you can still see them? I swear on the Maker's beard, when I saw that face in the tree, I just about pissed myself. The screaming face of a murdered bastard, right in front of me. I was afraid if I stayed long, I would hear it howling. I hadn't even been drinking. Don't believe me? Go see for yourself! Brien.

There is nothing to dispute what this person has written. A naïve player may take it at face value, without accounting for in-universe biases against the Dalish. Now, if you’re thinking that’s too far-fetched to believe anyone would do so, then I must say I am very jealous of your fandom experience being so different from mine. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who lack critical thinking skills, whether it be for real life or engaging with media. Hell, I will fully admit to falling for real life propaganda myself, so I certainly would not say I’m above it either.

Dragon Age Origins had a great way of getting around this: Depending on your character’s origin, you unlocked different versions of the same codex entry. For example, the codex entry on city elves has three different variations: One written by a human Chantry sister that any non-elf character unlocks, one written by a city elf that a city elf character unlocks, and one written by a Dalish elf that a Dalish character unlocks. Each version paints the city elves and history in a different light. Not only does this cover different bases and makes it crystal clear that the writing is founded on an in-universe bias, but it also adds to replay value, because you are collecting something different each time you play. Unfortunately, Dragon Age II and Dragon Age Inquisition did away with this.

Another struggle with codex entries is the fact that they are collectibles, and therefore only unlocked if the player happens to come across them. While this can add a secondary goal for the player to find all the codex entries possible when playing, it also leads to any missed codex entries meaning missed information about the world. In some cases, that’s not that big a deal; in the grand scheme of things, who cares if we know the story behind the wyvern head mounted on the wall of a café in Val Royeaux? But in some cases, rather informative writing on a hot in-universe topic is tucked in a note found behind a locked door somewhere. Such is the case with the following codex entry in Dragon Age Inquisition, for example:

The Annulment at Dairsmuid When we heard of the injustices against our fellow mages at the White Spire, the Circle of Magi in Val Royeaux, I feared what was to come. Our Circle at Dairsmuid is small and isolated; it exists largely as a façade to appease the Chantry. When the other Circles rose up, the Chantry sent Seekers across the bay from Ayesleigh to investigate. They found us mixing freely with our families, training female mages in the traditions of the seers, and denounced us as apostates. Perhaps they thought we were spineless robes who could be intimidated with a little bloodshed. Before I was first enchanter, I was the daughter of Captain Revaud, of the Felicisima Armada. I know how to plan a battle. They brought with them a small army of templars. We fought. And we might have won. But they invoked the Right of Annulment, with all the unrelenting brutality that allowed. It is their right to put screaming apprentices to the sword, burn our "tainted" libraries, crush irreplaceable artifacts under their heels, tear down the very walls of our home. No mage has the right to disagree. We of the Dairsmuid Circle wait now, behind barricades. I have sent word to our brother and sister mages of this outrage. When they break through, we will not die alone. —Final journal entry of First Enchanter Rivella, slain in Dairsmuid, 9:40 Dragon

This codex entry is the last words of a dead woman, murdered in what is, in my opinion, a hate crime based on her being a Rivaini mage practising culturally traditional magic. Veteran players of the world of Dragon Age are already familiar with the viciousness and cruelty of the Chantry, but new players are not. And with Dragon Age Inquisition already so Chantry-focused, it is exceptionally rare in this game to hear of any disputes from sources not painted as an antagonist. So if you, the player, never unlock this codex entry, you, the player, may never read one of the few examples of the Chantry’s corruption.

Fortunately, thanks to fandom archiving efforts, all codex entries can easily be found online. But that is only because of fans who lovingly record all the content of the game, not because of anything from the actual game developers.

I believe that codex entries have a proper place in the world of Dragon Age. At this point they are a staple feature of the franchise, and I enjoy reading them. But I do not enjoy having to collect them in order to do so, and I do wish that there was a function that perhaps after you beat the game, you automatically unlock all codex entries, or if BioWare themselves were to publish all the codex entries online instead of fans having to do the work ourselves.

—–

Like these kinds of meta pieces? Please consider supporting me on Patreon, where you could have viewed it a few weeks earlier!

#dragon age #codexes #codex entries #meta

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menalez · 7 months

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Hi, I need to rant and maybe get some advice? Sometimes I feel so abnormal because I am a straight woman so I am attracted to men BUT also I don't really feel an inclination to sleep with them or get in a relationship with them. The thing is, I've struggled (like a lot of women) with self-image/ED and having repeatedly seen and heard all the ways men criticize female bodies, I just don't see a point in engaging in any sexual activities with men. Like so many of them literally sound like they don't EVEN like female bodies, why should I have sex with such a person, and it is always a true gamble if the man you meet is exactly like that, cuz so many of them give themselves away on the regular, be it online or in real life. Or, I mean, he might like me when I am at my most ''perfect'' (so constant pressure to maintain that ideal) but say I forget to shave my legs one day, would he be fine with that or go into childish rage and belittle me or cheat. Yeah not worth the risk and many other risks. I've also never descended into ''wild lust'' for men I meet in real life so, don't consider it a loss if you exclude societal pressure to date someone. Men want to freely say all kinds of nasty shit about women then expect women to happily run into their arms... that's not working for me. They think women are naïve. I don't care how it makes me sound, men are not trust-worthy, they will sleep with you then bad-mouth you in the most detached way. Meanwhile I never even entertain negative thoughts on male bodies, I meet so many men who are unattractive to me but I don't make it a point to have Opinions on their features. Like, I don't care about it like that. They are just random people to me. Men though, they will make sure to voice out everything they dislike about a random woman like it's PERSONAL to them. Yeah they can fuck off.

tbh i dont think this makes u abnormal, u have high standards and worry about being hurt by a man bc youve seen how often men disrespect and mistreat other women and u dont want that to be u especially when youve struggled with your self-image and an eating disorder (or multiple idk ur story). to me thats a form of self-preservation and if u feel ur quality of life has not been harmed by this and are totally happy being single and celibate, then go for it! theres many het women who choose to live a similar life and i entirely support their choice and can understand it. people only treat u and make u feel like ur abnormal bc they view a woman's purpose and happiness to be reliant on a man and thats just misogyny at the end of the day

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i-write-sin-not-tragedy · 3 months

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So, I am worried about Lucifer staying at the Hotel. I feel like having a super powerful and influential character on the crew would make every problem too easy to solve.On top of that, I am afraid that it might underestimate Charlie’s character more. Like, I feel the show made a big deal to show that she is naïve and sheltered. I feel like she still depends too much on her dad and friends . That is fine. However, I kinda want to see Charlie learning to defend herself on her own and solving her own issues. She did a little of that in season one, but I want to see her develop more. What do you think?

Charlie, IMO, has the classic "Shonen protagonist" character type where i think her bonds and friendships ARE her power.

I keep seeing a lot of people focus on her physical power levels and being "helped too much," but im asking you— why is getting help so bad? Charlie just isn't a natural fighter. She's a lover, a listener. She's good at connecting to people. Having the others and her dad around to help isn't a bad thing for her at all.

Idk if its just bc shes a female protagonist, but I do often see people dismiss the actions of a female lead if she isn't depicted as some raging badass who doesn't need help and thats never set well with me.

Charlie's character has always been that shes not the best fighter, and she doesn't *want* to be. Love is her power and i think thats a deeply respectable thing.

Learn to defend herself? But she did?? She has? Many MANY times. Granted, she tends to be more ready to fight for someone she cares about more than herself, but i find that DEEPLY relatable. Husk did call her out for "wanting to fix everyones problems but her own" so shes fully aware of her own behavior. I'd like to see that explored for sure, how she clearly doesn't see herself in a good light. But her actions have gifted her this adoring family who all immediately banded together to help her because she loved them.

I have SUCH a soft spot for characters who only know how to love others, not themselves, and the turn around being that because they've given so much, all these people are happy to give back to them.

I think my best comparison is that she actually reminds me a LOT of Sora from kingdom hearts

(I could also go on a whole platonic!Rainbowdust rant here about how both Charlie and Angel are great at caring for others but not themselves and how that clashes between them but owkfkwkfke god i got a whole ass fic about that ill stop here)

I don't exactly know how having Lucifer around will change things, but i doubt this writing team will use him as a fix-all. They didn't with Alastor, so i doubt they will with Lucifer either.

#hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #ill defend this girl to my dying breath lmfao #☁️💬

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solarpunkpresentspodcast · 2 months

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Scrape

I want to talk about the recent news of Tumblr and Wordpress parent company Automattic being in talks to sell user content to AI companies OpenAI and Midjourney to train their models on. All that we know is currently in that sentence, by the way; the talks are still in progress and the company’s not super transparent about it, which makes sense to me.

What doesn’t make sense to me is the fact that a lot of Internet users seem to think this is outrageous, or new, or somehow strange behaviour for a large company, or that it is just starting. It seems obvious, given AI companies’ proclivities to go ahead and then ask forgiveness, not permission to do the thing, that Tumblr/Wordpress users’ public data has already been hoovered up into the gaping maw of the LLM training sets and this is a mea-culpa gesture; not so much a business proposal as a sheepish admission of guilt and monetary compensation. One wonders what would have happened had they not been called out.

When I was in publishing school back in the early twenty-teens, it was drilled into us that any blog content could be considered published and therefore disqualified from any submission to a publication unless they were specifically asking for previously published pieces. There was at that time a dawning awareness that whatever you had put on the internet (or continued to put out there) was not going to go away. Are you familiar with how Facebook saves everything that you type, even if you don’t post it? That was the big buzz, back then. Twitter was on the rise, and so was Tumblr, and in that context, it seemed a bit naïve to assume that anything written online would ever be private again (if it ever was in the first place…). It was de rigeur for me to go into my privacy settings on Facebook and adjust them in line with updates every few months.

So, for example, this little post of mine here wouldn’t really count as submittable material unless I substantially added to or changed it in some way before approaching a publisher with it. (The definition of “substantially” is up to said publisher, of course.) This might have changed with time (and depending on location), but my brain latched on to it and I find it safest to proceed from this assumption. For the record, I don’t think it’s foolish or naive for internet users to have the opposite assumption, and trust that the companies whose platforms they are using will handle their content in a respectful way and guard their privacy. That should be the baseline. It is a right and correct impulse, taken egregious advantage of by the morally bankrupt.

In any case, I at first have interpreted this whole debacle as …slightly empowering to users, in a way, as now there are opt-out procedures that Tumblr users can take to put the kibosh on a process that is already happening, and now this scraping of data will be monitored by the parent site, instead of operating according to a don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy. I have to wonder if the same will be extended to Reddit users, or the commenters on CNN or Fox news. And whether my first impression will bear up under any weight of scrutiny whatsoever.

On social media, I assume that everything I post will always and forever be accessible to anyone with enough skills (or money) to want to access it. Same with email, anything in “the cloud” that is not hosted on a double-encrypted server, my search engine preferences, and really any site that I have a login for. My saving grace thus far has been that I am a boring person with neither fame nor wealth nor enemies with a reason to go after me. Facebook got big when I was in my undergraduate years; given that social media was extremely nascent back then, I put a lot of stuff up that I shouldn’t have. Data that I care about. Things I would like to keep secret, keep safe. But I’ve long made my peace with the fact that the internet has known everything about everything I was willing to put up about me for my entire adult life and continues to grasp for more and more. At least on Tumblr, I can say “no”, and then get righteously indignant when that “no” is inevitably ignored and my rights violated.

I hate this state of affairs. But I also want to be able to talk to my family, connect with other solarpunks, do research, communicate with my colleagues … to live in a society, one might say. I try not to let it bother me much. However, I DO sign anything and everything that comes my way from the Electronic Frontier Foundation, an organization dedicated to legislating the shit out of these corporations that have given us free tickets to unlimited knowledge and communication for the price of our personal data, and effectively excommunicated anyone who does not agree to their TOS. The EFF is US-based, but given that most of the social media and AI giants on the internet are also US-based, I feel like it’s relevant.

In my solarpunk future, the internet does still exist, and we can access and use it as much or as little as we like. But it is tightly controlled so that the reckless appropriation and use of art, writing, content, personal data, cannot happen and is not the fee charged for participation in the world wide web. I want to live in a world where my personal data is my own but I can still reach out to my friends and family whenever I’d like, about whatever I want; isn’t that a nice thought?

#AI #internet #artificial intelligence #Automattic #Tumblr #consent #content #Facebook

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imminentinertia · 3 months

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SHIPPER TAG GAME

@lurkingshan tagged me, thank you darling! So now I'm forced to admit that whispers I'm honestly not much of a shipper

I get into shows and films, but rarely so much that I get invested in couples (canon or otherwise). Even rarer, so much that I start taking ship war sides. Notable exception: Harmony (Harry/Hermione) because that ship came with the stupidest shit I've ever seen in any fandom.

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care anymore?

What do you mean, don't care anymore. I absolutely do care about every ship I've ever shipped.

No wait - as a very young teenager I was so into Alice Hoffman's books it's not even funny. Especially Property Of. I wasn't terribly into the nameless main character, but I adored The Dolphin and thought McKay would be much better off with him. Then I grew up and realised that Property Of is pretty badly written and has a frightfully naïve plot (no wonder, she was practically a baby when she wrote it), although it really hit the spot for a 13 year old with a rabid case of bad boy syndrome, and completely stopped caring about any of the characters.

2. Which ship would you consider your first one?

The first I went insane about was Harry/Draco, so probably that.

3. Your first fanfic belonged to which couple?

Harry/Draco. I wasn't going to write fic at all! Wasn't interested in writing them myself! But I got so fed up with all the horrible purple prose in a lot of fics, wrote a pisstake, and it escalated.

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over?

No. That was so many years ago. SO MANY.

5. Did you ever get into ship discourse?

No. When I get into discourse it's about other things than ships. When I try to start discourse it's definitely about other things.

6. Did you used to have any no-otp or have it currently?

Some pairings squick me, but I tend to forget the horrors as quickly as I discover them.

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

Jaeyoung/Sangwoo (Semantic Error).

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs?

VEGAS/PETE. I also adore a number of other BL couples, but that's the OTP. Show versions, not book originals.

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

Spooks WASTED A BRIILLIANT OPPORTUNITY for a ship that could have been either canon or not-canon by KILLING A GUY ten minutes after he meets THE POTENTIAL LOVE OF HIS CANON OR NOT-CANON LIFE. They barely had time to share some chips. YES I AM EXTREMELY MAD, 16 YEARS LATER.

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

To me, any ship that's well written and where both characters are well formed and not limp 2D shit can be kind of interesting. I can't remember any of my squick pairings starting to intrigue me. Does it count that I used to dislike any KinnPorsche pairing featuring Ken, but I'm starting to quite like them?

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

Oh, I'm sure I do. I like age gaps. People are often very weird about them.

12. What was your favorite crack ship?

Giant Squid/anyone. Such a great setup for crack tentacle porn.

13. Who is the couple you read more fanfics of?

I've read a fuckton of Harry/Draco, but because of betaing and rec blog running it might be Even/Isak? Give it enough time and it will be Vegas/Pete.

14. What most of your ships usually have in common?

At least one, preferably both, of the parties is a criminal. Okay, that also has to do with what sorts of films and shows get made and appeal to me, but I love a good criminal so much and I just can't get interested in some goody two-shoes. I can honestly only think of Even/Isak when I try to list my ships that don't feature a delicious criminal. Preferably unhinged murderers, but I'll take minor misdemeanours too.

15. What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

Big fat traditional seme/uke or het dynamics where the seme/man blatantly doesn't give a canon shit about the uke/woman. I could write a thesis on this, I suppose.

As usual I don't dare to actually tag people, but if you've made it this far, you are so tagged.

#tag game

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beautifulpersonpeach · 4 months

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I agree with you on people not being ready for it but I wonder if it happening anyways would be the thing that pushes the masses into being more tolerant I don't wanna push that type of pressure on anybody though because it'd definitely be hell and while it could embolden other people that comes after it could still be career and social suicide for the individual that's a choice people need to make without the pressure of being looked at as some type of savior but the world is full of queer revolutionaries who started a movement and more will join eventually it doesn't have to be a bts member

The problem with the "it might push people to be more tolerant" argument is that it is a utopian idea. As it stands now, with all the societal problems of South Korea, that wouldn't be the reaction.

BTS are already changing a lot by using their platforms: supporting women while their country is hugely misogynistic, speaking in favour of lgbtqia at the United nations, and of course their artistic expressions from music to clothes to photobook concepts.

It's also not save for the members, IMO, to pursue this goal. With the insanity of stalkers and akgaes that we currently see, there'd be a rapid increase in personal threats both physical and psychological. I also don't trust those who don't have a vested interest in BTS doing well (aka other entertainment companies and industries that aren't contained to just SK) to stay still. They would try their hardest to turn this into a scandal, flooding headlines with articles about all the homophobic buzzwords. That's the problem: BTS are powerful but as we've seen time and time again, a lot of people in power don't like that. I don't think even their presidential envoy thing would protect them.

I know every person who ever wanted to change their country had to suffer for it, from Rosa Parks and MLK to Malala Yousafzai), but maybe I am the naïve one in hoping that BTS (and whatever possible queer identity and relationship that entails) would find a way that isn't like that.

***

(From one anon to another)

#jikook #queer expression #queer experience in kpop

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genshin-impact-writings · 1 year

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The Abyss Prince:Ch.4

(Kaeya x gn!KOF!reader)

Synopsis: Kaeya and you have been dating for a while now and you both honestly couldn't be happier with each other - until Jean sends you on a mission that reveals Kaeya's deepest secret. And you learn that a dark past and your unwavering sense of duty could be enough to destroy a relationship that has always been too good to be true.

Chapter summary: Kaeya and you finally get closer to solving the riddle behind the merchants’ disappearance. Neither of you is aware that the upcoming events might change your lives and your future forever. (Title taken from: Metalite - In the middle of the night)

Word count: ~ 3.8k

The masterlist for the series can be found in the navigation post on my blog.

Ch.4: One lost soul in forgotten lands

When Kaeya and you arrived at Springvale, you were surprised to see Eula there, followed suit by two other members of the company. You had no idea she would be here too, given the fact that Jean had specifically assigned this investigation to you and the Cavalry Captain but then again, it probably wouldn’t hurt to confer with Eula. After all, nobody knew who was behind all of this, and there was still a possibility that things were a lot more serious than you expected them to be.

“Excuse me, could you please step aside,” you said as you carefully shoved past the curious bystanders, briefly wondering why the Knights hadn’t ordered them to return back to their houses yet. Judging by the expression on Kaeya’s face, he was wondering the same thing. But you trusted Eula – she surely had a reason to keep the people around, maybe because she wasn’t done with questioning them about the incident. It was very well possible that one of the villagers had seen something or someone, and since you were pretty much still in the dark about what happened to the missing merchants, eye-witnesses could be worth a mint.

Just the thought alone was enough to make you feel strangely excited. Perhaps today, you would get one step closer to solving this mystery. (And a part of you still hoped that you would find the merchants alive and well, although you were aware how naïve it was to believe that those who kidnapped them actually spared their lives.)

“Come on,” you said and darted a glance at Kaeya, “we should talk to Eula and ask her if she found anything that could be of use for our investigation.”

A brief smile flashed over Kaeya’s face. Your enthusiasm was almost infectious. “After you, love.”

Almost immediately, you felt heat rising to your cheeks. On the one hand, you always basked in the soft tone of his voice whenever he called you something like this, but on the other hand, you were on duty and it probably would be deemed highly inappropriate to let your private life bleed into your everyday work. But you didn’t have it in you to scold Kaeya for the loving nickname – not when he looked at you like you were the most previous thing on this earth. Still, you weakly protested, “We’re at work, Kaeya.”

“So what? Am I supposed to switch off my feelings for you when we’re on duty?”

“Of course not.”

“Good. Because I couldn’t, even if I tried.”

“Oh, shut up, will you,” you said, not quite able to hold back the smile that played around the corners of your mouth. Sometimes, he really was too sweet to handle.

In the meantime, Eula had spotted you, effectively putting an end to your playful bickering. “Ah, you’re here,” she said, “Jean informed me earlier that you two are responsible for this investigation and would come here to help.”

“Captain Eula,” you greeted her respectfully. Despite working together for such a long time and being second in command after her, the Spindrift Knight was still your superior and with all these people around, you didn’t want to seem unprofessional. “My apologies for keeping you waiting.”

The young woman shook her head, casting your apology aside with a wave of her hand. “Nonsense. We are currently interrogating the eyewitnesses and so far, their statements are corresponding to each other. However… I doubt any of this will be helpful.”

Kaeya frowned. “Why’s that?”

“Because it appears that this person here left voluntarily,” Eula explained. “Contrary to our current presumptions, they apparently weren’t kidnapped.”

“But that makes no sense. Why would they just leave?”

The Spindrift Knight shrugged. “I don’t know. But you’re welcome to talk to the eyewitnesses yourselves.”

“Then we will do that,” you decided, and Eula nodded. “There are other issues I have to take care of, so you’re on your own for this investigation. But please report back to Jean and me as soon as you make any progress.”

“Of course.”

“Good. Then I will leave this matter to you.”

* * * *

Interrogating the eyewitnesses eventuated in two major insights: One, the person that had disappeared this time had indeed left Springvale voluntarily and not because they were kidnapped. And two, all three eyewitnesses were absolutely sure that the merchant had been in some kind of trance when he had wandered off into the wilderness.

“It was such a strange sight, really,” an elderly woman had told you, “one moment, he’s busy with rearranging the goods on his cart, and the next, he’s turning around and leaving. I’m sure something – or someone – put a spell on him. No sane man would leave his goods behind like that.”

It was her statement that you kept repeating in your head over and over again while Kaeya and you followed the elemental traces the merchant had left behind. Everyone, including you, had wrongly assumed that all of these people had been kidnapped because someone wanted to get rich on the expense of others. But as it seemed, there was far more to these incidents than you had first expected. Unfortunately, that meant you had to start all over again.

“Let’s go over this again,” you said. “Someone is apparently putting the merchants in a trance to lure them to who-knows-where. But I just don’t understand why someone would do this. Who even has the power to do that?”

The Abyss Order, Kaeya thought to himself but he didn’t say it. Even with this new information, there was no reason to believe that they were behind this mess, although he couldn’t deny that the situation started to make him feel deeply anxious. Like disaster was lurking around the corner, waiting for the right moment to strike.

“Kaeya? Are you listening to me?” Your voice brought him back to reality, and he quickly put on a smile that felt horribly fake. “I’m sure we will get an answer to all of these questions once we figure out where the elemental traces lead to.”

“To Falcon Coast, it seems.”

“Well, that would make sense. Whoever is behind the disappearance of the merchants has lots of possibilities to hide themselves there. I’m sure there are tons of caves the Guild hasn’t discovered yet.”

“That still doesn’t explain their reason to kidnap merchants.”

“Except that they haven’t been kidnapped,” Kaeya reminded you. But he had to admit that this circumstance only raised more questions – and it frustrated him that neither of you could answer even one of them. He sighed. “I hope we can solve this mystery soon.”

“Yup.”

Silence settled in as you continued to follow the elemental traces. Hydro and Electro, if you weren’t mistaken. It probably didn’t matter but you had always been very precise when it came to your work – after all, even a seemingly minor detail like this could turn out to be important in the end.

If you had only paid a bit more attention to your surroundings, maybe you would have noticed that curious eyes were already watching your every move.

* * * *

The elemental traces did indeed lead you to Falcon Coast – however, instead of a simple cave, like you had initially expected, you found a barrier, a barely visible veil of elemental energy, that blocked the path leading deeper into the cavern. For someone without a vision, it probably would have been an invisible obstacle but for Kaeya, it was nothing but a nuisance. He pressed his palm against the barrier, focusing on the elemental resonance that kept it stable and summoning Cryo energy into his hand to disrupt the molecules of the other elements. When the barrier disappeared, it revealed a small entrance.

Kaeya and you exchanged a glance. “We don’t know what we’ll find in there, so we have to be careful” he said, the tone of his voice unusually serious, “if things get too dangerous or suspicious we leave immediately and report back to Jean.”

You hummed in response. While you were determined to figure out what all of this was about, you had no interest in risking your own life to solve the case, so it made sense to wait for further orders from the Acting Grand Master in the event that something went wrong.

“Ready?” Kaeya asked, and you reached out to squeeze his hand. “Ready when you are.”

Neither of you spoke as you followed the narrow path. It seemed to lead downhill, deeper into the mountain, and it was so dark that you could barely see where you were going. All you could do was to trust your other senses while you stumbled through the darkness. Then, after what could have been an eternity, the ground beneath your shoes changed. Slippery cobbles turned into something more solid, and when you reached out to touch the cave wall you realized that it was no longer the natural rock formation of a mountain you were touching. No, this felt more like… a building.

And not too far in front of you, you could see a glimmer of light, like a flame flickering in a breeze. You stopped in your tracks. “What kind of place is this?” you whispered, your voice barely louder than a whisper but still echoing back from the walls in a way that sent a cold shiver down your spine. You couldn’t say exactly why but something about this place made you nervous and uneasy, and you wished you could just turn around and leave without investigating further. But of course, that wasn’t possible. So far, you had no reason to believe that it was too dangerous to go on. And if there even was the slightest chance to finally figure out what happened to all of these merchants, you couldn’t just give up now.

“I don’t know,” Kaeya replied in a low voice, “but we should be very careful if we decide to go further. There could be traps and defensive mechanisms everywhere, and I don’t want you to get hurt.

There was no point in denying that he was right about that. Ancient ruins like this were never safe to investigate – anything could lurk in the darkness and the labyrinthine corridors. Monsters often used this kind of place as a camp too, you knew that from experience.

You let out a shaky breath, summoning your polearm. The weight of your trusty weapon felt oddly comforting, as well as the elemental energy that radiated from your vision. Calm down, you told yourself, there’s no need to be afraid. You know how to defend yourself. Everything will be fine.

But still, you couldn’t shake off the bad feeling that had crept up on you as soon as you had entered these ruins.

“Hey,” Kaeya said, softly, almost as if he could sense your growing anxiety, “this place makes me uncomfortable too but you don’t have to be afraid. I’m here, and I won’t let anything happen to you. Okay?”

You nodded, taking a deep breath and tightening the grip around your polearm. “Let’s go.”

Aside from your footsteps, no sound could be heard as you proceeded further into the ruins. The light source turned out to be some kind of artificial fire, placed in small lanterns that adorned the hallway, illuminating the place just enough to help you orientate. The walls were covered in moss and ivy, the leaves dry and crumply, and occasionally, you noticed strange patterns decorating the stone walls. Silver and golden swirls and stars that were skillfully combined into intricate patterns you had never seen before. Back in the days, when the building had actually been in use it surely had looked beautiful but now, the fading colors only reinforced the eerie atmosphere of this place.

After a while, the hallway got wider again, revealing an impressive hall that was decorated with statues of people you didn’t recognize, slowly crumbling away in this forgotten place. Pillars, equally on the verge of decay and covered in vines, supported the high ceiling, and there was even some kind of altar on a high platform.

For a few moments, all you could do was stand still and stare. You had never known that a place like this existed in the mountains of Mondstadt.

Next to you, Kaeya seemed to be equally fascinating. But it wasn’t the architecture that caught his attention. No, it was the portal in the back of the hall that captivated him. Even with the lack of light, its surface glistened and glimmered in a way that could only be describe as magical. It almost looked like dozens of stars were dancing on the waves of the ocean.

“Is this…” You didn’t finish your sentence. Apparently, you had spotted it, too.

Kaeya took a deep breath. “A portal, yes.”

“This is the point where we should head back to Mondstadt, right?”

“Portals aren’t necessarily dangerous, and as far as I know, there’s a possibility that it won’t even work anymore,” Kaeya replied, “I once read that they lose their powers over time. And since this place is so old, I assume the portal has been here for an equally long time. It should be safe to investigate.”

Oh, how incredibly stupid he had been. He should have known that it was a bad idea to go near the portal. But he only realized his mistake when it lit up, darker shades of purple and green flashing over the surface, and the next thing Kaeya knew was that he was pulled into a seemingly endless void of blue.

* * * *

When he woke up, the first thing he noticed was the sky above him. A sky without any stars or a moon, a sky that was too dark to be real, so this had to be some kind of domain. The portal, he remembered, it must have brought me here.

The next second, he jumped to his feet, his heart beating uncomfortably fast in his chest, only to almost skip a beat when he saw you lying on the floor only a few meters away from him, slowly regaining your consciousness. “Ouch,” you mumbled. “I think I hit my head.”

Oh, thank the Archons, Kaeya thought, relieved. You were alright.

But the relief didn’t last long. Now that he wasn’t on the floor anymore, Kaeya easily recognized where exactly the portal had brought the two of you. Though he had never been here before, this whole domain was eerily familiar, and it didn’t take him long to realize that this was the place he had seen countless times in his nightmares. And there, right in the middle of the room, was the blood-filled basin.

An ice-cold shiver ran down his spine. “We should leave,” he said, “now.”

You sat up, confusion written all over your face. “Why?”

“It’s not safe here. We should have never gone near that damn portal.” Kaeya helped you stand up, quickly examining your body for any visible injuries. You frowned. “Kaeya, what’s wrong? There’s no one here.”

“Wrong.”

At the sound of the high-pitched, all too familiar voice, the two of you froze. You had never expected to find one of them here, not when everyone had assumed that the Abyss Order wasn’t involved at all. But with an Abyss Mage staring right back at you, floating above a pile of bags and clothes, it was obvious that you had been wrong about that all along.

It was only then that you realized that the creature wasn’t floating above bags and clothes. Because you were pretty sure that bags didn’t have hands or arms… or faces. A wave of pure fear washed over you, even more so when your gaze fell on the basin, although your brain refused to accept the fact that it was filled with something that looked like blood.

“By the Archons,” you whispered, your voice shaking. Up until now, you had been convinced that the merchants were alive, and it was unbelievably hard to realize that they had been killed in some sort of ritual. That it was way too late to save them.

The Mage followed your gaze and with a giggle that made the whole scene even more horrifying, it explained, “A blood sacrifice.”

“For what?”

“Foolish child. Some kinds of magic require a sacrifice to work.” It wasn’t the Mage’s voice that had answered your question. No, this voice was deeper, raspier, and it sent an unpleasant shiver down your spine. When you turned around to see who had spoken, a tall creature emerged from the shadows.

An Abyss Herald, you realized.

Thousand questions flashed through your mind, and yet, you couldn’t open your mouth to ask a single one of them. Your thoughts were racing as you tried to comprehend the situation. The Abyss Order had killed the merchants – but why? What kind of magic was the Herald talking about? What was going on here?

“You killed innocent people,” was everything you eventually managed to say. “Why?”

“Ah, I could tell you,” the Herald said and made a noise that vaguely resembled a human sigh, “but you would not be able to conceive it. All of this is well beyond your limited understanding. Everything the Abyss Order does is for the greater good.”

“The greater good?” Behind you, Kaeya huffed. “Please, enlighten me – how can cold-blooded murder be for the greater good?”

The Abyss Herald yanked his head around at the sound of his voice. And then, much to Kaeya’s horror, he fell to his knees and bowed low. “Mylord,” he said, the tone of his raspy voice sounding almost submissive now, “it is an honor to finally meet you.”

No.

No, no, no.

Kaeya stumbled backwards, his eye widened in shock as he stared at the creature in front of him that had recognized him so easily and was about to spill one of his biggest secrets. “I’m sure you’re mistaking me for someone else. I have no idea what you are talking about,” Kaeya said but his voice was shaking way too much to sound convincing. But he at least needed to try, right? He couldn’t possibly allow anyone to destroy the life he had built for himself over the years, could he?

“I would not dare, Mylord,” the Abyss Lector replied, head still bowed low. “We were always told that one day our prince would return to lead his kingdom back to glory. The prophecies spoke of a young man with star-shaped pupils who hides among ordinary mortals until the day comes to step forward and claim what is rightfully his. It is believed that only he can activate the portal and find this place – and that you are here now can only mean one thing. You are the one we all have been waiting for.”

Yes, Kaeya was painfully aware of that. For years, he had feared this moment, had hoped and prayed that it would never come – and for what? Only to end up running blindly to his doom? And of course, all of this had to happen while you were with him.

Fate truly was such a cruel thing.

“I… I’m not who you believe I am,” he finally managed to get out. “I’m not your prince.”

Yes, you are, a quiet voice in the back of his mind replied, no matter how much you try to deny it, you are your father’s son, and this is where you belong.

“The portal’s judgement is infallible, Mylord,” the Abyss Herald insisted, though it clearly made him uncomfortable to disagree with Kaeya, “you are the one who is destined to destroy those who wronged us all.”

It was only then that you turned around to face him, confusion written all over your face. “Kaeya… what is he talking about? What is going on here?”

Kaeya knew that there was no point in lying. He knew it the moment he looked into your eyes. “What do you know about Khaenri’ah, (Y/N)?”

You frowned. “It was destroyed five hundred years ago. No one escaped.”

“A few members of the royal family did,” Kaeya said quietly. “My ancestors, to be more precise.”

“Is this the reason… why your father left you at Mondstadt? Because he wanted you to find this place?”

You connected the dots alarmingly quick. And his silence was probably the only answer you needed in that moment.

His gaze was focused on the floor as if he had spotted something particularly interesting and wasn’t just staring at the broken and moss-covered stone tiles. He knew he should look at you instead – but he had always been a coward when it came to facing the consequences to his own actions, and he was so afraid of the things he would see in your eyes after finding out the truth about him.

He was afraid you would look at him the same way Diluc had all these years ago. Eyes filled with distrust and a burning anger that had soon turned into despair and hatred, even. No, Kaeya couldn’t bear seeing all these things in your eyes, too.

So instead, he kept staring at the floor, at the tiles that were just as broken as himself, waiting for you to say something.

When you finally spoke again, you sounded strangely composed. Kaeya had expected you to be angry or disappointed, at the very least, but instead, the tone of your voice was almost emotionless as you said, “You lied to me.”

You weren’t asking, you were stating a fact. So, Kaeya nodded.

“And did you ever want to tell me the truth?”

Kaeya shook his head. He felt almost paralyzed, in a sense that he couldn’t even come up with a single excuse why he had been lying to you, though he usually never had a problem with talking his way out of a situation like this. But now, all he could think about was the giant mess that was his life and the way all of his dreams had shattered into a million pieces in just a matter of seconds.

“I see.”

Why were you still so composed? Why weren’t you yelling at him, cursing him for betraying you like that? He wanted to ask you that and more, he wanted to apologize and tell you that all of this didn’t matter to him, that he didn’t care about Khaenri’ah anymore but somehow, he couldn’t.

Perhaps because deep down, he knew that this would have been a lie, too.

Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed it please consider giving me some feedback and/or reblogging this chapter. I'd really appreciate the support!

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#kaeya x reader #kaeya alberich x reader #genshin impact x reader #kaeya x you #kaeya x gn!reader #kaeya x y/n #kaeya alberich x you #the abyss prince #jj's series

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