#i cant accept it and i cant move on

[3-aem]

i also don’t want to portray myself as faultless. my work isn’t ai and it isn’t copied. but nk will say i Had old pieces that were copied and referenced ai. Yet it isn’t good faith when i apologize, state how i took accountability, and explain thats definitely not the case today because i learned my lessons- to respond with well you made these mistakes in the past so how can i believe you, you are lying, and have not changed.

so i quit. how can i prove myself then besides what i mentioned in the last post. my question is will you even ALLOW me to prove myself. each time i must explain, i place a spotlight on something that was resolved agreeably with the artists, resolved by removing the works, and resolved within myself by learning from it. but by not saying something i also allow You to concoct narratives and have to watch people spread them around and come to me demanding apologies. it is a very uncomfortable very distressing process that has worn me down completely.

never mind that other artists who have copied have not nearly been requested to apologize as much as i have been. never mind that they were forgiven when they removed the works or even when they just say sorry and don’t remove the work at all. But you still choose to hound me afterwards for doing just that?

nk has stated that i have not fixed this. and that i must address it. how many times though? for how long also? who on this planet starts the conversation by recounting all their mistakes, especially when they know they are resolved.

i have had to learn my lessons through cruelty like yours. trust me its a trauma i have to bear and they are not lessons you then forget.

my anger and my feelings of defeat come from the fact that even after nk was still talking like i had not even attempted to make progress. just look at your tone here.

#im going to fking throw up this is the last time i will ever say this #do not come begging to be for another apology i am done #i will never address this issue again okay #i need to say this because no matter what when i see people supporting me now i feel guilty #i recognize it is just because i hate myself #it is because i havent accepted i made mistakes #but i cant accept it because people cant accept it #i cant accept it and i cant move on #and that is why i think its best to leave art #i cant make work i am proud of anymore #i dont want to list names of artists #but i will say that when king chris reposted my work without credit i viewed it the same as when i referenced other artists work #but there was no callout no request even from the comments for credit #and he has millions of followers #i felt like i could not stand up for myself because i have this history #because of this history i can never properly defend myself i feel i must always kneel to it #even though i have changed and realized i was wrong i still have to acknowledge it always

[1eos]

Am I a loser for being 25 and never being in a relationship and still a virgin?

not at all! loser implies that you've lost at life and 1. at 25 life has barely gotten started and 2. sex and relationships isn't all life has to offer. its cliche but we all go thru shit at different times and there's a lot more 'late bloomers' in the world than you know! including me like i will hold hands romantically for the first time when im 50 and im at peace with that.

but realistically.....when you meet new people even if its just a brief encounter once and you never see them again is one of your first questions 'are they a virgin? have they been in a relationship?' probably not. literally the only ppl who place someone's value on their sex and relationship status are weird with no substance to bring into conversations anyways. and depending on your gender/sexual orientation and where u live there really might just be no one to date or fuck like it's fineeeee it's fine. and not to sound like a loner but so many ppl in this world are unhappy in relationships and not even having orgasms every night it's not a moral failing to not have someone for a lil bit. you just get to have your firsts with a more fully developed brain and sense of self and isn't that lovely?

#asks #i cant find any black wlw where i live like i just accepted this is my celibate era until i move #cuz im not letting no white lady top me!!!

[visionthefox]

sams.labels.

oh I think I know why the whole "cousin tittle" had me bothered, I had this like. memory? I never said because I was unsure how real it was but now Im watching "Lunar EXPLORES SOLAR'S MIND" it click Solar doesnt use labels- sure- he may mentally likes to keep order of things, clearly, as half a Sun code he may be- yet he mentions "imagine giving labels to everything" in almost a dull sarcastic tone.. I think is why- when Earth insisten on giving him a label because SHE needed it, he just let her have it. because he does get she may need it- but him? doesnt seem to have that need, if anything, later on when he is setting off the list of the Celestial Family,when he is named, may be more like a "Im in the safe group" not like "I see myself as part of the family" because maybe family is way too big of a word for him, so is why I totally believe he see himself as "the dude who hangs out around" or even a "friend" to the Lunar theme bots- yet thats as far as he may go. labels dont seem to matter to him in past eps, I dont think that changed so much.. I guess this is linked to the idea Earth pushed it into him- not so forced him to accept? but Solar has been showed to just let her have her ways with him. because- I mean, what harm does it do? why exacly? hard to tell, as I personally, never seen the two interact unlike He and Moon do- yet may be as simple as , she is a sister, is easy to let her play with his stiff rays of be called cousin that get in trouble. (and obvi - because teh VA are lovers, clearly is a fact to add outside lore)

#sams #tsams #the sun and moon show #vision rants #idk Im still not over that fact-but is not hatred or anything is more so that #earth fans cant seem to accept this fact-and move along #she kinda did push it-yet is not a crime! is not a huge deal! #sure may have created a “reason” to hate on shippers but thats more so the other fans fault #I think of this because is a stain that maaayy be hard to ignore #this is a flaw in the character- doesnt make her worst -makes her full

[ratwavegamehouse]

So I officially didn't have my contract renewed today (they wanted to bot pay me for two months of the year, I wouldn't do that, so it's over) and I'm coming to turns with the physical limitations I have (I learned at GenCon I probs have fibromyalgia or something along those lines). I'm opening myself up for freelancing writing and layout work. Any gigs would be massively appreciated and make my life a lot smoother right now and in exchange you'd get work from one of hottest rising stars if TTRPGs.

I'm a Diana Jones Emerging Designer, the creator of games like Transgender Deathmatch Legend, The Infinite Dancefloor, Terminal and more. I've done previous writing for Inevitable (by SoulMuppet Publising) and The Levanté Papers (by Biscuit Fund Games). I've laid out all of my own games and they all fuck.

My rates are negotiable and avail here.

Here's some screenshots of my work.

#I'll be ok #but like moving flat has deffo caused a flare up of whatever I have #and I need to accept I cant really do jobs with the level of physicality that I've been doing

[boyjoan]

does anyone have advice. for dealing with being embarrassed all the time. of everything one does. including old memories but also things that happened yesterday. like how do i cope with the sheer humiliation of being alive

#genuine question bc it is eating me up inside #im anxious all the time #and it doesnt help that i cant be like #oh i wasnt embarrassing! #like. i have autism. i say the wrong thing i do embarrassing and weird stuff #and i just dont know how to accept it and move on

[clits-and-clips]

Taking steps forward but its so hard when I'm not doing it with the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with

#feels almost pointless #i know it isnt and i have to move on #but i dont want to #i dont want to change my relationship status #i dont want it to be real #i cant accept it yet #and it hirts #hurts #txt

[pigeonwit]

we the people seriously need to consider a pirates of the caribbean javetherine au

#davey as a blacksmith whos been pining for heiress katherine for years #but has always resigned himself to his status and passively accepts it just cant be #and then pirate jack comes swinging into his life and makes him realize he can be more than just a life spent in the background #katherine as an heiress who knows she could be so much more but everyone keeps telling her no #and she doesnt believe it! she doesnt! she CAN be more! ... but god its exhausting to be the only one believing in herself. #and then in the wake of a pirate attack shes helped by the blacksmiths apprentice who always seemed to just hide himself in the background #and he refuses to let her feel even slightly guilty about what happened. #and then in comes this ABSURD pirate who sees her fire and shows her to throw a punch. tie a knot. wield a sword. #he listens to what she says. he takes her advice and she takes his. #and she finally feels like she has people who believe in her. who SEE her. #and jack as a pirate whos always been deternined to be alone. to live as his image and not himself. #its easier that way. to just say 'pirates life' and move on before someone can leave you. better to hide than be pushed aside. #and now here are these two annoyingly insistent city kids who keep acting like jacks worth keeping #and it's everything. but he knows it cant last. it cant. (he really wants it to last) #i mean really what are pirates if not sea cowboys #newsies #davey jacobs #david jacobs #katherine plumber #katherine pulitzer #jack kelly #javetherine #fic thoughts

[taechnological]

seeing min yoongi's pectorals covered in pretty flowers and pink and blue fancy stuff was NOT on my 2023 bingo card

#how am i supposed to just accept this and move on??? i CANT #yoongi #min yoongi #bts text

[atissi]

second commission for @tokidorito: just a normal catholic. character uses any pronouns

#was gonna write girlboss but then was like hmmm cant think of a gender neutral alternative to girlboss #nbboss? nboss? #anyways im still not sure if ill accept any new commissions this summer #it depends on my in-person obligations #i know i promised id re-open them in mid may but then i got caught up with moving and job apps #but if we're mutuals and you've shown interest before i'll hit you up if i get an opening #i kind of wanna work on my fundamentals....do some environment painting or 3D modelling #again depends on the whims of fate #i have too many hobbies frankly. #my art #others ocs #cw catholic imagery

[sunnibits]

people are already saying that the seagull landing on Izzy's grave is buttons, and he can bring him back in season 3. So, don't worry, you can hold onto hope until a season 3.

#listen. I cant have hope. it will ruin me to have hope. #I must accept it and move on like I did with lucius bc I never wanted to get my hopes up until I had solid proof #bro is BURIED IN THE GROUND I don’t know if he’s coming back 😭 #ask box #ofmd spoilers

[autisticlee]

that feeling when you get advice from someone who you know is well-meaning and has good intentions....but it's just the most allistic, neurotypical, and/or abled advice you have ever heard and completely invalidates the point you're trying to make about why you struggle to do the thing in the first place.

they're telling you to "do it in this specific way that is completely opposite of how you physically/mentally work" for example, make eye contact/read people's facial expressions and intentions! but you're autistic. initiate verbal conversation and don't be shy! but you're nonverbal or semispeaking. get out of the house more and participate in these physical activities! but you're physically disabled. Just Be Yourself! but you have DID/OSDD/other personality disorder. etc.

i'm sorry. I know you're just trying to help. I appreciate it, really. but it's all things i've heard before and none of it helps me specifically. I have tried (maybe even still try out of habit) and learned I can't just do those things. they don't work for me or cause more issues. practice isn't the issue. not everyone can simply willpower through everything. but thanks for trying 😔✊️

#autistic #autism things #autism #actually autistic #adhd #audhd #neurodivergent #disablity #disabled #too tired to tag other thinhs sorry thats all you get #lee rambles #that feeling when you also just have to pretend to accept their advice and move on because people get so upset when you dont take it #i lesrned if i tell people their advice doesnt suit me and my unique circumstances then they feel bad that they didnt help #they want you to do it anyway. even if you cant. pretend you do or say thanks and move on. but it gets annoying hearinf the same stuff #over and over. more expectations on you. more pressure to do things in ways everyone else can but you cannot... #when will the advice be lee shaped? when will it be just for lee and consider all my circumstances? #why is telling the person giving advice their advice wont work fkr me bad? why cant they change their advice to fit the issues i face? #when im asked for advice and someone hits a deadend while working it out i try to help solve that so they can find a way around #but everyone else expects me to grow a bulldozer out of my head and ram the wall down instead of helping me work around it #i crush their fragile ego by saying their advice doesnt work and they get upset instead of adjusting it to help solve the specific problem #its exhausting because they become one of the many problems i have to deal with then 😒 #no im not “making excuses/dismissing you/not trying” im trying. your advice sucks try again. and my problems are valid!!!!!! accept it!!!! #anyway. genuinely appreciate people wanting/trying to help but sometimes its such inappropriate advice i dont know how to respond

[tvnacity]

I GOT INTO A PHD PROGRAM

#SCREAM #I haven’t accepted bc they said they’re still figuring out funding stuff and they gotta pay me if I’m moving my ass >1000 miles #I CANT EVEN DESCRIBE #the amount of work that went into all of this #like I have a big weakness on my application. I thought for sure I’d never get in anywhere #like #the sheer multitude of applications I did at all #so much extra work getting in contact with PIs and such too #literally I was doing nothing but grad school apps for MONTHS #literally like I #omg #I’ll probs make a big emo post abt this too but I #AAAAAH #lucy speaks

[maplefield]

kinda funny in a sorta sad way how people will be calling a character trash before they're even out and then upon release when they realize the character is actually good they start comparing them to earlier units and calling THEM trash

#honkai star rail #yes this is about argenti #and now that they realized that argenti is in fact good jing yuan is getting called trash again he cant catch a break for real #but i remember people were talking shit about luocha as well before he was released #like idk maybe wait until you can actually try a character in game or smth #wish people could accept that diff characters have diff playstyles and some are harders to build then others #that doesnt mean theyre bad #normally i wouldnt care about this its just gotten too much and i had to go on a little rant #anyway my advice is ultimately just pull for and play the characters you like #hsr #my post #forgot to add and cant move tags so here it goes: when i said diff playstyles #i meant that even characters who are on the same path tend to work differently (and this is something i really like about this game) #dude im so tired i cant even convey my thoughts properly i hope this post makes sense

[forgotten-daydreamer]

please do not tell me you like how i write, because i will inevitably think i'm decent at it and think i'm worth appreciating

#i wish i could actually accept compliments #like on ao3 i just say “thank you so much!!” but i'd like to grab the commenters' shoulders and shake them -> #-> and yell “stop i'm literally tricking you into thinking i'm any good but i'm not and this is an elaborate prank on both parts!!” #man. man. fucking shit. i want to cry #i'm so fucking upset because why did my high school italian (my native language) teacher always tell me i wasn't any good at this? #and. and i had her for 5 fucking years. i internalised that shit. #i graduated high school five fucking years ago and her words are still in my head #and every time i write i always think nobody is going to fucking understand a word i'm trying to say #and even in uni. i graduated uni too ok? and. nobody ever told me my essays sucked. #so one would think i would've unlearnt the hatred by now. well. i did not. #i want to fucking cry #why am i so stuck in the past #why cant i just. move on

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

One of the most frustrating things about being queer and living and growing up in a country that's not very accepting of queer people is that at some point you have to make a choice between trying to leave your country and living in one that's more accepting of you, and where you have more rights, and more of a chance of being able to openly be yourself, or stay home, the place that has your favourite food that you've loved since you were young that you can't find elsewhere, and the place where all your memories lay, and the only place you can visit your relatives that have passed and meet your friends who want to stay. I know there's ways to meet people from your home country living in other countries, but it's not really the same. I can talk to them in my native language, and we can participate in our shared culture, but I will still be walking streets foreign to me. And so I must choose whether to stay or to go elsewhere. I have to choose between acceptance and home. And I once thought that acceptance was the clear, easy winner, but now that I'm away from home, I can't even begin to describe how many things I miss about home

#and i know that maybe eventually the other place i live will start feeling like home but no matter how much time passes; #it will never be home in the same way as the home i grew up in #sorry im just really unsure of what to do. I've moved out of my home country but i find myself really missing home lately #i wish home was more accepting so I'd feel more comfortable staying there #maybe I'd still move eventually but i wish i could make that decision based on more than just wanting to feel accepted #because i think maybe i might've moved away before i was fully ready. and now I'm in a dilemma on what to do #or maybe its because its 1am and im overthinking things. idk. i just wish i could have both yknow #i hate that i cant have both #personal post

[gotta-bail-my-quails]

i know the conversation should focus on palestinians first and foremost (although i'm not an expert on how palestinians feel on the matter--others have posted about how heinous it is for israelis to claim palestinian dishes as their own, and notably how they are destroying the plants and land which produce those dishes while enjoying them) but I suppose as a form of solidarity, I hope none of y'all zionist fuckers enjoy any vietnamese cuisine either. i hope every bowl of pho you buy is spat in because i'd rather my home culture's dishes be tainted than to let you enjoy them

#free palestine #i dunno man. im sitting under my roommates bunk reading on palestine while she and her mom talk of how scary it is that iran is targeting #israel and altho theyve never explicitly said they support israel the fact ive heard of it only in terms of how scared it makes *them* is.. #not hopeful to say the least #and then of course she gets out of bed and talks about how she has pho #and i just cant accept someone who is standing by while the us does to gaza what it did to vietnam on a much higher and denser scale #wanting to partake in my culture. id love to share pho with all of you! i have a soup blog for fucks sake! but theres something really evil #about taking in a culture without acknowledging the harm done to it. why do you think you can enjoy pho? b/c the war brought millions of #viet immigrants to the US #only that is a moving of viets into the us rather than israel moving into palestine. both are terrible of course #anyway. vietnam-palestine solidarity forever