#i cant believe this this is so magical i love being queer | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

taikk0 · 2 years

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Happy 4th Anniversary RotTMNT!!!

( P.S. JUST REALIZED I FORGOT TO CHANGE LEOS HAT FROM 5 TO 4 BECAUSE I CANT DO MATH IM SO SORRY LETS JUST PRETEND HE EITHER CANT DO MATH EITHER AND GOT THE WRONG NUMBER OR HE STOLE THAT HAT FROM A 5 OLDS BIRTHDAY PARTY AT ALBEARTOS)

ANYWAYS!

Thank You RotTMNT For Merely Existing! Gushy Ramble Under The Cut!

Can’t believe its been 4 years since these turtles graced my TV screen at the ripe age of 11.

Coming across Rise for the first time felt magical. I've never seen anything like it before, or at least, not on an animated series on TV. The quality of the animation, the art style, the new cast voicing the turtles I grew up with, the new interpretation, sure it was different but it was just the coolest thing ever to me at the time.

I didn't have access to the internet or social media at the time, so my love for this show was pure and unconditional.

Rise completely changed my view on what animation as a medium could do, especially for a serial TV show. It inspired me to keep working harder, both in terms of its writing style and its visual presentation. Sure I wasn't very good at it, but it set an example for me. Especially at the time when I was so engrossed in wanting to make my own animated TV series with my own original characters.

Outside of inspiration, it was also a source of comfort. The turtles felt like my friends, and their adventures were always so entertaining that I imagined myself being there alongside them. I knew that they were always there when I was having a bad day, I'd just turn on the TV, hope Rise was on, and let all my problems fade away.

As a queer and neurodivergent kid who always felt isolated and out of place, The turtles helped me feel less alone. I knew they wouldn't judge me for being weird or different because they were weird and different in their own ways too.

Sure you could point out the fact that it was because they were mutated turtles to be the weird trait, but to me, it felt more about what was on the inside.

The world will see mutants first, and beings with thoughts and feelings second.

Yet even after society shuns you, endangering you for what you are,

You will find joy and solace with your kin.

Blood-related or not.

Mutant or Human.

"あなたは一人じゃない"

I’m 15 now and even after all these years, my love for this show hasn’t budged a single bit.

Thank You RotTMNT, For Everything.

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sleepboysummer · 8 months

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rtc hcs i have that most of the fandom doesn't agree with bc i am realizing my perceptions of the characters don't match up with a lot of ppls?

mischa is black

(maybe i just really love abingdon mischa cause genuinely i NEVER picture mischa as anything different than him)

noel is a baggy pants guy. where did we get it from that he ONLY wears super skinny jeans?? cause i feel like everyone agrees on that

speaking of. noel totally loves horror movies what are u guys even thinking

ocean has curly hair

tammy is a little bitch and super popular and randomly decided to take penny under her wing to try and make her popular too. when she realized she couldn't, she tried to pretend like she never talked to penny in her life. the Almighty Bitch of st cassians.

constance absolutely smokes weed and if anyone tells me differently u guys are WRONG!! tired of seeing her being the only 'responsible' person cause she literally is NOT!!

however.. penny.. she tried to smoke once and coughed so hard she cried and threw up. she is too embarrassed to try it again and will choke anyone who mentions it.

ocean has never once questioned her sexuality because she thinks that thinking of Anyone romantically is wrong and against religion. like she thinks even straight romance is bad

noel is asian and does Not look like kholby wardell (i feel like everyone sees him as looking like kholby which makes sense but COME ONNN be creative like u are for ricky and jane :3)

'savannah' wasn't a name for ricky, but the name of his favorite character he wrote about

constance is not short

also. mischa IS short. noel is like 5 inches taller than him

ricky and penny are autistic and mischa has adhd

mischa is not cool. however he has SO much confidence like he thinks he is THE SHIT but he is not at all. the ppl at school all see him as 'the school rapper' and if u have had one of those at ur school u know. that is not good

the most accurate tsia is opera wyoming

ocean and constance have Never liked each other in either direction..i just can not see it..

the only ships im rly into are spacedolls sugardolls and passionflower/mischalia personally :3 others are cool too but those r the ones that i like

ricky doesn't dress super crazy or nerdy, he only has little touches in his clothes of things he is interested in (like a planet bracelet or stickers on his headphones) and he actually is cool as fuck

i only have one genuine queer hc and that is ricky is pan but. i feel like that is basically canon after sabm especially the earlier versions. i am queer myself i just usually dont think abt characters sexualities or anything like... ever? but he is just so obvious

however i also think its super funny to imagine him as this super mega straight guy who is just coincidentally RREEAALY into catgirls and dressing up like david bowie. and some rickys totally have that energy (see: tulane theatre)

i also fully believe that penny lamb isnt a reincarnation or her original life.. she was penny before and after the accident... karnak is literally magical who says he cant let her restart from when the accident happens (but without dying this time)

#rtc #ride the cyclone #jane doe rtc #ricky potts #ocean o'connell rosenberg #constance blackwood #mischa bachinski #noel gruber #also this is nothing against ppl with the opposite hcs #this is just how i see them and when i learned that other ppl don't i was sort of fascinated #its so cool how everyone pictures such different things from the same source material!! :3 #rtcrot #my choir :3

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unpopularshipbracket · 10 months

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Round 2b Match 1

Rashmi Jamil/Amelie Macon (Entropic Float)

Fic count: 0

Milo/Piers (Pokemon)

fic count: 29

"COUNTRY BOY X EMO CITY BOY, HIMBO X GOTH, SHORT AND STRONG X TALL AND SKINNY, SUNSHINE ONE X GRUMPY ONE C'MON GUYS THEY'RE EVERYTHING it is MIND boggling they aren't more popular"

Rashmelie propaganda under cut!

Rashmelie:

"this essay is going to be reused whole cloth from the submission of them to the 17 million years of pining poll! because unfortunately i do not have the energy to go insane enough to write up anything new oh.

my god. where the fuck do i start with them for real.

okay so, theyve been friends since early childhood, and before either of them came out (Rashmi is agender, they/them, while Amelie is a trans girl, she/her, and they are both mspec which is a bit less relevant but is also there). the earliest time that we know that they have feelings for each other is when theyre both 14, and Rashmi - already out, with their entire family (parents and grandma) supporting them without question - is moving. uhhh 90% of american geography names are the same to me so i might lie there. from Nevada, where they both grew up, to New York, where Rashmi is planning on studying dance further, which has always been their plan; around 14 is when they ran out of teachers at home.

they quietly hope Amelie doesnt confess her feelings for them, as they fear it might tempt them to stay, which they cannot allow themself to do. Amelie, meanwhile, is very carefully not thinking about gender, because her parents are quite frankly the worst. over the course of the years before they meet back up, Amelie has had some dates, but each time, they dont work out, and in her own words, put logs on the flame she carries for Rashmi.

Rashmi, meanwhile. gets married. one of Rashmi's biggest struggles in their romantic pursuits has been the fact that they are both Indian and queer. it has been a struggle for them to find someone who respects both - someone who respects their gender identity while not throwing their culture under the bus. that is one of the factors contributing to the way their relationship with "Ajay" (we learn that this name isnt his real one, but it was magically replaced in Rashmi's memories of him and we dont know it) played out: he is also Indian, and the first thing he asked them upon meeting them was what their pronouns were. and it was all good.

until it wasnt.

i would love to get into that deeper, but the important point is that "Ajay" is kind of a piece of garbage, whose crimes include finding Rashmi's address when they didnt give it out, deliberately not sending Amelie her wedding invitation because Rashmi told him they used to have a crush on her, driving them to drop out of dance school, and general possessiveness (notable being the fact that, whenever he is home, he always asks them to stay home too, which leads to them dropping their social circle and their hobbies). one of the places it grows from is "Ajay" being ace and not quite believing that Rashmi accepts that. he also has a substance abuse problem.

all of that culminates as they return from a short visit to their parents, and he in a fit pushes them down a long flight of stairs.

in the meantime... god, i cant even figure out what parts of information are important about Amelie here. i would put as notable the fact that she only figured out she was a girl something like a year before the events of the game - and only ever came out to Rashmi, who in turn told their parents...

and who didnt realize that Amelie's workplace didnt know. her workplace is just. terrible in social terms. she loves the work itself (its food industry, a restaurant in a casino, dont remember the exact job description) but her coworkers are being the absolute worst. a cesspool of toxic masculinity. also an environment for Amelie's undiagnosed psychosis. she is prone to auditory hallucinations.

after being outed to her boss while also hearing from Rashmi's parents that their husband is... lets just say bad for them, she, while safely at home, hallucinates that her boss or maybe her father is breaking down the door.

simultaneously with Rashmi as they are falling down the stairs, they make Wishes.

these are not widely understood; from the context of the game, it seems as though some people get a Wish when in significant peril, or in distress. you do not need to use the Wish immediately as you get it, but they both did.

essentially, what Rashmi Wishes for is a way to escape from their husband that wouldnt raise a fuss; and Amelie Wishes for a place where she and Rashmi can both be safe. (i am very muddly on the details there) their Wishes create the anomalous clocktower where the game takes place."

#poll #piers pokemon #milo pokemon #pokemon #piers x milo #milo x piers #entropic float #rashmelie #rashmi jamil #amelie macon #pokemon sword and shield #sword and shield

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thetisming · 2 months

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zombie saga opposite deaths tumblr simulator!

🌹 beautiful-rose Follow

i want my boyfriend. i miss him so much that i feel like i'm going to die. and my brother died too and i have my best friend but i literally just can't talk to anyone right now i need Francois or Romeo i cant... i need my boyfriend.

🇫🇷 frenchbastard Follow

Aw, it is truly sweet how you're blogging about me. Because surely you could never mean any other Francois, correct? And I do not like the fact that you miss your brother, or that you have a best friend. I am right here. I am all you need.

🌹 beautiful-rose

right! um, yeah, sorry, i'll just- of course you're all i need. yeah

2 notes

🎨 depressed-artist Follow

I can't do this. I can't fall in love, I can't, that's not fair to Caroline. I could never fall in love so soon after losing her. I can't. I can't date him.

🟦 croptopman Follow

you're so correct you cant do that in fact i think you should never even consider dating anyone

1 note

🎶 yesimautisticstopaskingme Follow

FUCK FUCK FUCK WHY DID I DO THAT OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO STUPID HOLY SHIT I'M AN IDIOT

0 notes

🐯 hearmeroar Follow

why won't they talk to me? why are they leaving me? they only talk to that horrible fucking man, and i miss them and my fucking boyfriend just died and he was their brother, you'd think they would care!

0 notes

💙 francois-dubois Follow

Gosh I just love them so much, they're so perfect and beautiful and I don't think I could even live without them <33 I want to marry them one day

🌹 beautiful-rose Follow

aww, Francois! i love you too, I'm never leaving you my darling! and for future reference, if you proposed, i would say yes 💖

💙 francois-dubois

Asdfghjkl May!! I love you, I really do you're so amazing and magical and I can't imagine living without you. I'm never leaving you and I'm never letting anyone hurt you, my beloved 💙

🌹 beautiful-rose

you're so sweet, where are you so i can kiss you??

💙 francois-dubois

I'm just out the back! See you soon, amore 😘

🌹 beautiful-rose

fuck i just found this while scrolling his blog there were so many posts ljke this i miss him so fuckjng mych og mg god i need him back or i think i'll die her was the best boyfriend ecer i need him plwase just kjll me so i can be with him fuck

#he was so perfect #i cant even believe hes gone #he was my everything i mjzz him so much i cant do this anymore #i wish i had just killed myself that day #i cant go on like this i havent been talking to juliet because of my new boufriend #and romek is gone #and i havebt besn talking to anne either #i need him so bad holy shit i cant #i didnt even gst to marry him #at the very least couldn't i have done that #i miss gim so much i need him i need to hold him i can't. i nedd hiim #i love you my darling frankie

12 notes

🟦 croptopman Follow

I NEED TO STOP BEING IN LOVE WITH PEOPLE I CANT HAVE. first i stayed in love with Gregory after we broke up and now i love Charley and he's in love with some OTHER GUY NAMED RICHARD!

#gay #mlm #queer #vincian #unrequited love

1 note

🇫🇷 frenchbastard Follow

There is a truly beautiful woman at this camp. She is friends with my boyfriend. I must persue her, she is so gorgeous and her husband recently died.

💚 notthatone Follow

May is non binary stop calling them your boyfriend and STOP TRYING TO CHEAT ON THEM! They've been through so much, how fucking dare you try to hurt them?

🇫🇷 frenchbastard

You are so beautiful, sweet Anne.

🐯 hearmeroar Follow

you're a terrible fucking person and i hope May kills you because if they don't i fucking will.

🇫🇷 frenchbastard

So many marriagable women at this camp... You are simply gorgeous

🐯 hearmeroar

KILL YOURSELF

💚 notthatone

KILL YOURSELF

🎶 yesimautisticstopaskingme Follow

KILL YOURSELF

🦅 eaglegreetings Follow

KILL YOURSELF

🎨 depressed-artist Follow

KILL YOURSELF

🇮🇹 aromantic-annie Follow

KILL YOURSELF

🟦 croptopman Follow

KILL YOURSELF

🛸 inspector-abed Follow

kill yourself.

🇫🇷 frenchbastard

@.beautiful-rose, May, my darling, please tell these people to stop.

🌹 beautiful-rose Follow

please be nicer to him, he's been through a lot...

🇫🇷 frenchbastard

Good boy.

🐯 hearmeroar

you are the fucking worst and i genuinely hope you die.

22 notes

🛸 inspector-abed Follow

Troy, i know you can't see this, but i have a boyfriend now. his name is Del. i think you would have liked him. i miss you a lot. it's been a while since you died. i havent been happy at all since. Del makes me happy. i love you.

0 notes

#live laugh love zombie saga

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bi4pan-polls · 1 year

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okay so! i am here with propaganda for Rashmi Jamil and Amelie Macon (Rashmelie) from Entropic Float!

most of my propaganda is reused whole cloth from what ive said for 17 million years of pining, so there will be a significant amount of focus on how long it took them to get together

anyway.

oh. my god. where the fuck do i start with them for real.

okay so, theyve been friends since early childhood, and before either of them came out (Rashmi is agender, they/them, while Amelie is a trans girl, she/her, and they are in fact canonically bi4pan - or pan4bi, if were going by name order, since Rashmi is pan and Amelie is bi). the earliest time that we know that they have feelings for each other is when theyre both 14, and Rashmi - already out, with their entire family (parents and grandma) supporting them without question - is moving. uhhh 90% of american geography names are the same to me so i might lie there. from Nevada, where they both grew up, to New York, where Rashmi is planning on studying dance further, which has always been their plan; around 14 is when they ran out of teachers at home.

they quietly hope Amelie doesnt confess her feelings for them, as they fear it might tempt them to stay, which they cannot allow themself to do.

Amelie, meanwhile, is very carefully not thinking about gender, because her parents are quite frankly the worst. over the course of the years before they meet back up, Amelie has had some dates, but each time, they dont work out, and in her own words, put logs on the flame she carries for Rashmi.

Rashmi, meanwhile. gets married.

one of Rashmi's biggest struggles in their romantic pursuits has been the fact that they are both Indian and queer. it has been a struggle for them to find someone who respects both - someone who respects their gender identity while not throwing their culture under the bus. that is one of the factors contributing to the way their relationship with "Ajay" (we learn that this name isnt his real one, but it was magically replaced in Rashmi's memories of him and we dont know it) played out: he is also Indian, and the first thing he asked them upon meeting them was what their pronouns were. and it was all good.

until it wasnt.

i would love to get into that deeper, but the important point is that "Ajay" is kind of a piece of garbage, whose crimes include finding Rashmi's address when they didnt give it out, deliberately not sending Amelie her wedding invitation because Rashmi told him they used to have a crush on her, driving them to drop out of dance school, and general possessiveness (notable being the fact that, whenever he is home, he always asks them to stay home too, which leads to them dropping their social circle and their hobbies). one of the places it grows from is "Ajay" being ace and not quite believing that Rashmi accepts that. he also has a substance abuse problem.

all of that culminates as they return from a short visit to their parents, and he in a fit pushes them down a long flight of stairs.

in the meantime... god, i cant even figure out what parts of information are important about Amelie here. i would put as notable the fact that she only figured out she was a girl something like a year before the events of the game - and only ever came out to Rashmi, who in turn told their parents...

and who didnt realize that Amelie's workplace didnt know.

her workplace is just. terrible in social terms. she loves the work itself (its food industry, a restaurant in a casino, dont remember the exact job description) but her coworkers are being the absolute worst. a cesspool of toxic masculinity. also an environment for Amelie's undiagnosed psychosis. she is prone to auditory hallucinations.

after being outed to her boss while also hearing from Rashmi's parents that their husband is... lets just say bad for them, she, while safely at home, hallucinates that her boss or maybe her father is breaking down the door.

simultaneously with Rashmi as they are falling down the stairs, they make Wishes.

these are not widely understood; from the context of the game, it seems as though some people get a Wish when in significant peril, or in distress. you do not need to use the Wish immediately as you get it, but they both did.

essentially, what Rashmi Wishes for is a way to escape from their husband that wouldnt raise a fuss; and Amelie Wishes for a place where she and Rashmi can both be safe. (i am very muddly on the details there) their Wishes create the anomalous clocktower where the game takes place.

Oh my gosh,,,couple of all. Not just Pan4bi couple of all time. Just couple of all time in the world.

*Propaganda for Rashmelie from Entropic Float Part 1

#sorry it took me like an hour to respond to this #propaganda #entropic float

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fag-on-goth-action · 1 year

Note

🔪 KNIFE - how do they react to injury / misfortune befalling their loved ones (significant other, family, friends)? do they put themselves at blame?

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people?

🙊 SPEAK-NO-EVIL - what is something your oc will refuse to stay quiet about?

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

for all your OCs <3

🔪

ok so all of them but wes has dealt with that. so this is easy

Lilith- denies it happens doesn't put herself at blame and acts like nothing changed

Marr- shuts down and does a lot of stupid things to fix it but makes things worse

Am- takes all the blame feels guilty and then inflicts the same pain or what she thinks is equivalent pain upon her self

Wes- drinks. a lot.

🙈

oh this is easy they r all hiding sooo much

Lilith- the fact that she's a trans woman obvi but she is trans and queer and all that shit as Lea so that's a cop out. Hers is how she has never truly processed things. ever since she got bit the years have blurred and she doesn't know 78 from 09 well because Am had the same haircut or whatever and she thinks she's been going crazy for so long she's horrified about how bad it is

Marr - Ever since she got cursed to be unable to do the things she loves ( makeup, hair, acting, singing ) she has acted really chill about it and she knows that she hasn't done them in so long so she's fallen out of love but god when things get bad she will cry for hours after trying to sing a song. it devastates her even if parts of that curse have become regular parts of her life, like her makeup being messed up is part of her brand, some days she wants to just look classically pretty and she wants to feel like the woman she used to be and it breaks her.

Am- Context is in my world vampires acquire parts of their greatest fear and desire. for this you gotta know Am's biggest fear is dying alone and without true love. she has taken refuge in platonic bonds but oh my god the day she found out Wes was her soulmate she broke down. She was incapable of having the love of her life ever. she said she would never meet her soulmate and if she did she would kill them, but you can't kill another vampire as a vampire. it's an act only witches or humans can do. And then shit, they are best fucking friends. the worst part is Wes is bound to her until the world ends. he will never experience love that is true, and because Am is always around he's constantly subconsciously comparing his romance to how he feels for her, which is impossible to beat. she can't tell him.

Wes- he's my least fledged out little guy but oh my god he is so incapable of anything past first base and like that wasn't a part of his curse! he doesn't know what's up he just can't feel a lot of things for people man. only time he remembers being good at sex was with Am but she's probably a sex god or something. he can't figure out love and it's pissinf him off

🙊

Lilith- she seriously needs to stop talking about how she helped with jfk in bars she's gonna get arrested soon

Marr - one of these days she'll finally get someone to believe her and be sober enough to see her magic in clubs shes sooo bad at hiding being a witch

Am- WE.DONT.CARE.YOU.WERE.AT.9/11.SO WAS EVERYONE ELSE IN THSI HOUSE AM AND YOU RAN LIKE A PUSSY WHILE WE WATCHED

wes- im so sorry shut up about yr highschool band it was soooo bad u did violin covers of beetles songs

🙉

Lilith- the details of what happened to marr when she was deported and had to live in russia from 57-73. that would break her so hard.

Marr- What happened to the kids who cursed her

Am- Where her brother is ( she thinks he's dead )

Wes- that his fuckinf band sucks shit

okaaayy that was so long sorry but i'm on mobile i cant do cut :(

#hvelle #that's the ask

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honksapling · 11 months

Note

Hello! Happy June! It's Pride and I have another question (9/30)

Yo, today, today, I had a long shift, so I will be talking about something shorter: Bi-Lighting!

Bisexual Lighting refers to the use of pink, purple, and blue lights simultaneously, usually in film and tv, but also in Youtube and music videos. Obviously, not all who use this are deliberately doing so to represent/portray bisexuality, but it is fair to say that queer artists and creators who do so, know exactly what they're doing.

This colour scheme is and was popular on its own due to the revival of the 1980s aesthetic, and it is often associated with retrowave or synthwave music.

While it may not have originally been used to slyly represent a character's sexuality, this meaning has become cemented in the public zeitgeist and is an established part of bisexual storytelling. The generally accepted invention of the "Bisexual Lighting" concept came from tumblr (<- which shows up a lot when it comes to modern queer media/trends tbh). It was invented by a Sherlock fan in 2014 who believed that the lighting was being used to signal that Dr. John Watson was bisexual, and therefore Johnlock was real and would eventually appear on the show. It may not have been an accurate prediction, but it did give us this phrase.

Obviously, not all or even most of the instances of bisexual lighting are deliberate ways of conveying sexuality, and it is simply just a very pretty and appealing lighting combination, but personally, I love making everything queer, so I'm into it lmao. Something that is interesting about the colour purple is that historically, it has been used to represent royalty or the divine, and also magic, aliens, and the unknown, so frankly I think we should embrace it more.

So for today's question, in your opinion, which Minecraft block gives the most Bi energy to you? (please, use whatever criteria you prefer, this a dumb question for a reason, a little light-hearted thing for a bit of a break from deep questions!! :))

Happy Pride 🌈 🎉

Being in the sherlock fandom its so easy to believe the bi lighting came from there XD. Its so dumb that even after me being bi i cant answer this question cause i play very little minecraft so ill just say my fav block which is glowstone :D

#pride anon

0 notes

suenitos · 11 months

Note

Hello! Happy June! It's Pride and I have another question (9/30)

Yo, today, today, I had a long shift, so I will be talking about something shorter: Bi-Lighting!

Bisexual Lighting refers to the use of pink, purple, and blue lights simultaneously, usually in film and tv, but also in Youtube and music videos. Obviously, not all who use this are deliberately doing so to represent/portray bisexuality, but it is fair to say that queer artists and creators who do so, know exactly what they're doing.

This colour scheme is and was popular on its own due to the revival of the 1980s aesthetic, and it is often associated with retrowave or synthwave music.

While it may not have originally been used to slyly represent a character's sexuality, this meaning has become cemented in the public zeitgeist and is an established part of bisexual storytelling. The generally accepted invention of the "Bisexual Lighting" concept came from tumblr (<- which shows up a lot when it comes to modern queer media/trends tbh). It was invented by a Sherlock fan in 2014 who believed that the lighting was being used to signal that Dr. John Watson was bisexual, and therefore Johnlock was real and would eventually appear on the show. It may not have been an accurate prediction, but it did give us this phrase.

Obviously, not all or even most of the instances of bisexual lighting are deliberate ways of conveying sexuality, and it is simply just a very pretty and appealing lighting combination, but personally, I love making everything queer, so I'm into it lmao. Something that is interesting about the colour purple is that historically, it has been used to represent royalty or the divine, and also magic, aliens, and the unknown, so frankly I think we should embrace it more.

So for today's question, in your opinion, which Minecraft block gives the most Bi energy to you? (please, use whatever criteria you prefer, this a dumb question for a reason, a little light-hearted thing for a bit of a break from deep questions!! :))

Happy Pride 🌈 🎉

i cant think of blocks but i will tell you what MOBS do.. mooshroom allay fox

#pride.anon #hiiii pride anon sorry i dont have the proper energy to give to this one lol

0 notes

manifesting-mari · 1 year

Text

Morning Pages 1/31/2023

I woke up with Jordan’s song “see spirit she” playing in my head and now i can’t get it out. There’s something about Jordan’s journey through their queerness that kind of inspires me to look at my own. Theres so much that they see in me thats hard to see in myself. Like the feminine side and the grounded sacral side. I think i need more root chakra work. Which makes sense. I feel very ungrounded, but also at teh time i feel grounded. Maybe ungrounded isnt it. Because i do feel like im in my body more so than ever. Maybe it the security. I do feel insecure. Is that root or sacral? Or maybe somewhere in between. I dont know. I’ve been holding this insecurity for a while. And have been aware of it for about a year. The insecurity i can hold. But when it brings it out in other people its hard for me to hold that. I still need to grieve the insecure parts of me. The parts of me that felt like it didnt deserve anyone in her corner, who felt like she wasn’t enough no matter how hard she tried. That not enoughness is still so loud.

I feel it in my relationship with my mom, and my relationship with greg. I feel very insecure to be myself. I feel my lack as a stamp across my forehead that defines every step i take, and every step is walking of eggshells. Liek the moment i choose my own path i’ll make everything fall apart. I thinkt hats the magic of plant medicine, knowing that living life with all the gfear and insecurity wont kill me. Knowing that i can get through anything. Fuck, if i could get through those really hard trips, ic an get through this. I can thrive from this.

I’m learning on accepting that this is my relationship with my mom. I cant change that. But the acceptance involves grieving the parts of me that wishes she had a mom who could show up emotionally. I never wanna do to my child what my mom did to me, even if she was trying her best. I know that the things that hurt me or trigger me with my mom are things that i have to learn to hold in myself. I am still so ashamed of the way i treated my money. And i am so ashamed of my existence. Im working on just being in that shame and accepting it and loving in. Ezra said he saw a wound,a nd the knife was pulled out, maybe going into the gash is the shame and despair i feel from being separated from divinity, and going inside and putting love in there is where i need to start, actually, just typing that makes me feel good.

Im trying to wrap my head around my narratives with money. I am still uncomfortable having it. And i sincerely believe that if i give it was some back to me tenfold. I am choosing to use my money to take care of my container and myself. My priority is my home. My priority is my body, my priority is making sure my container is healthy. Part of me feels like i am unable to hold space if my container is not perfect, and i know thats not the case. Im grateful for the people who have come into my life and showed me how i deserve to be loved and treated. For my friends (mostly jordan tbh) who come to my broken home and still find love.

Its time for me to truly put love into my broken home. To truly take care of the things i have. I never learned how to truly value and take care of my things. I never really had nice things to take care of. I deserve to have nice things and i can feel the part of me that feels ashamed to have nice things. Having things isnt shameful. That shame wa snot mine and belongs to someone else. Im not sure how much shame that i have thats actually mine. I know i have some because i do feel bad of the way i’ve treated others wrongly in the past and the way i acted out of a hurt place and hurt others. The shame around my body isnt mine. I truly love my body and what to make it strong and healthy. I am proud to invest in my body and proud to have it. The shame around my bank account isnt mine. I am grateful for the streams of income that i have. I am proud of the jobs that i work and i am proud of the amount of money i make. I feel shame around spending. I no longer want to spend, i want to invest. Every dolar that leave my hand is an investment into something. Every action that i take is an investment in something, and my priority is investing in myself. Investing in my freedom exploration and expansion. Investing in my security and safety.

I dont spend my money, i invest. I invest in joy. I invest in others. I invest in love and happiness. I invest in healing and growth. I invest in myself. I invest in the future me that has these amazing dreams that can easily be a reality. I invest in the past me that is learning how to love myself. I invest in my present day. Investing can only happen in the present. It is a present choice that will yield a future fortune. I invest my time in me. I invest my money in me. I invest my love in me. I’m betting it all on me. I bet $10,000 on me knowing i’ll get $100,000. That ten thousand dollars was an investment. Gone in 2 months. But thats ok, its showed me so much and i am so grateful for that loss. I am still grieving and dealing with other emotions around it, but gratefulness is there. I am grateful that spending all that money showed me what im capable of and showed me the changes i need to make in my energy flow. Money is energy. And I put my money toward my future. Investing in myself.

I choose not to involve my mom in my finances anymore. I need to set up that boundary because it does not feel safe for me to have that kind of relationship with my mom. I realize the ways where i keep turning to my mom to take care of me, because i want her to take care of me, but what i really want for her is to care about my feelings, not my money. And i understand that the way she shows love is through material items and money. But im still hurt and angry that i didnt get the love that i truly needed. I need to be seen and heard and loved and respected for exactly who I am and my mom is not the place for me to gain that kind of validation for myself.

This is scary, the letting go. The choosing to be different and investing in myself. The trusting myself and the universe. I am slowly trusting myself, while also recognizing the parts of me that are expecting for me to fail. Failure is not the end of the road, it is the end of a chapter and a beginning of a new one. Failure is this wonderful opportunity to feel all the feelings that you werent feeling before. To integrate them into the experience and learn how to work with them. Failure is a trickster. You think your in ruin, when really it just gave you a void to fill and build more into. I think about my teaching job and how numb i felt. How disconnect and disassociated i was. It felt so good to leave that job. It felt so good for it to end. But i also notice the part of me that takes things ot the extreme before there needs to be a change. Its the same energy of how my parents werent sensitive to my feelings and only changed when some big emotional reaction happened. We repressed and disassociated until it exploded and even then the change wast a collaborative effort, it was more walking on egg shells. Im done doing that. We dont do that anymore. We dont walk on egg shells. We walk confidently and we embody groundedness. We are now sensitive to our need. We listen to our intuition and take a pause when we feel something is off. We take time to observe and truly feel into what is the best decision.

I will no longer do what i think is right, i will do what i feel is right. I trust my body, i trust the collaborative effort between my body mind and spirit. I trust my soul and i trust my connection with divinity. I trust that everything always happens for the good, i trust that good things will always happen and i trust that i can always get through the difficult challenges.

I am investing in me. I am investing my time in me. I am investing my money in me. I am investing my energy in me. If i need support i will ask for it and if shame comes up i will hold that shame with love and compassion. I will show myself how its not scary, i will show myself that even when we get hurt, we will love ourselves and treat ourselves well.

I am proud that i am vulnerable. I am proud that i am sensitive. I am proud that i choose to live my life the way i do. I always say that to people “I love everything you do and choose to be”. I really do love the choices i make because i know i’m a good person who is trying her best to add more love into this world. I know i have a kind and loving soul and i want to love myself and others to the best of my ability. I see the ways where i exhaust myself and we are no longer exhausting. We are living a sustainable life. We will sustain and thrive. When i rest i bring in energy to heal my body and make myself stronger so when i am away i can do magick. I am magick. I need to truly believe that now. That is my need. My magic needs to be seen and expressed. And i know that its so fucking cool when i do it.

#morning pages #the artists way

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10moonymhrivertam · 1 year

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about me

Hello it has been a hot second but I was tagged by @littledreamling !!

Nickname: Moony! In some servers where I’m preceded by another Moony I’ve gotten River. No particular irl nicknames, though.

Sign: Libra sun -- i’ve done my other signs before but I regularly forget them 😔

Height: 5′6.5″ (And I’m gonna claim that half because I become an Angry Short Person when there are people taller than me around ;akljdflkaj)

Last thing I googled: either “how to offload ios apps” or “What is hollandaise sauce”. I think it was the offloading because I was trying to update Disney+ to cast Bluey 😅

Song stuck in my head: Sleigh Ride and The Bus Is Late have been trading places for the last two weeks or so.

Number of followers: 896, but not everybody’s active and I haven’t done a bot purge in a couple days.

Amount of sleep: Oh jeez. My sleep’s really fragmented cuz I have a 4 AM job, so I do a lot of like. Nap from 3pm-5 and then “sleep” from ~10-2:30

Dream job: When I was a kid I wanted to be a teacher, but then I got to the point my ADHD started wrecking me and I realized that was w a y too much paperwork for me to be comfy with. If my average ‘finished piece’ wasn’t 500 words my answer would be ‘professional author’. So there isn’t really one right now unfortunately.

Wearing: Walmart Queen shirt and gray fleece pajama pants with elastic ankles. If I get cold I shall add Pikachu slippers and the sweatshirt I got at the work Christmas party

Movies/Books that summarize me: yeah, this does seem like a question-for-others but I’m not brave enough to ask anyone else at home right now ;akljf;akldsj

Favorite Song: uh oh no I have a pretty firm favorite movie now but favorite song is harder. (Favorite movie is Coco and my favorite song from that is probably Poco Loco, but -) Maybe Farewell Wanderlust? I do always end up screaming in tune with it lol

Favorite Instrument: Trombone represent, babey!!!! Great to play, fun to watch, and I love people who do arrangements of whole songs all on trombone! (I want a trombone with an f attachment SO BAD oh my god there are so many lines that would be so easy if I didn’t have to go from sixth to first or seventh to second)

Aesthetic: A three-way split between ‘idk just comfy’, ‘geeky’, and ‘Hello I Am Queer’. ‘idk just comfy’ and ‘geeky’ kind of smoosh together in that most of my comfy t-shirts have a fandom design, but ‘Hello I Am Queer’ consists of a few colors of George polos paired with ties, a rainbow belt, and ball caps worn backwards.

Favorite authors: Diane Duane! I’ve only really read the first few books of Young Wizards and most of Rihansuu but she gets to always stay on the list for namesake reasons. Also Neil Gaiman and Tamora Pierce (I think Circle of Magic has gone out of print which is devastating to me tbh, between the ADHD & several moves I don’t think we have a complete set anymore)

Random fun fact: Hmmm....I’ve made two cross-country (USA) moves, altho I was 2 for the first one XD I went to the 5-5-05 Serenity premiere despite still being in single digits, and there’s a picture of me talking to Adam Baldwin. There’s also a picture of a younger-than-9yo me meeting Mary Pope Osbourne and I believe I also gave her some handwritten Harry Potter/Magic Tree House fanfiction? :P

Lessee....I know it’s been a while since this game was going around, so sorry if I’m double-tagging anyone -- @thebestworstidea, @cant-think-of-anything-creative, and @shippiedippie

And of course, anyone else who sees this and feels inspired! I’d love to be nosy, though, if you wanna drop me a tag :P

#about me #mention games

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im-still-watching-anime · 3 years

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YOU CAN BE GAY IN RUNE FACTORY 5???? YALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#not anime #oh my god oh my god oh my GOD #IM SO EXCITED #rune factory 5 #i play 4 all the time and im still so mad i had to make a separate save as lest #oh my goddddd #i was so upset they weren’t adding it but i was going to play 5 anyway but now i am so EXCITED #AHHHH im sorry this is the best i LOVE rune factory #spamming myself with screenshots of lesbian rune factory wedding until it’s released #ughhhh so long to waittttttttt #im going to die im so impatient #i cant believe this this is so magical i love being queer #we just keep winning this month🙏#my posts #nintendo direct

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chasingfictions · 2 years

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Ooh what about Tara for the character ask?

@dafttpunk @restlesshush this one's for u as well also i LOVE this energy truly i want loving tara to be more a part of my brand i love her she's my everything

favorite thing about them

hi hi hih hih hih hi hi hi ???? HI???? WE AS A SOCIETY do not discuss enough the way tara's backstory is Insane Actually. .... like i know i wrote 40k about this already (hehe) but im not done talking about this like,,, imagine being tara maclay and you are growing up in an abusive household where your mom is also being abused and youre told that the magic inside of you is evil and cursed and your mom is still teaching it to you and youre holding that dichotomy in your heart that this thing is demonic and also it's holy and it's what connects you to your mother and her mother and her mother .... and like thinking about tara's mother-daughter relationship and thinking about tara losing her mother at 17 and how that's still a whole year alone in that house where no one was on her side and the BRAVERY and COURAGE to leave home, the implication in "family" with "how did you find me" that tara literally ran away tara left behind everything she knew she literally did what her mother never could and left that household and left that town and the ?????? sakjklsdjasd???? and the WAY that tara's response to all of that suffering is to be so KIND like tara is so KIND and ACCEPTING the way she makes SPACE for people and is there for buffy when buffy can barely admit her affair with spike to herself and she goes to tara anyway the way tara is this mother figure to dawn who is this scared traumatized child the way tara is this person for willow who like! willow's WHOLE THING is self hatred and tara lets willow believe she is wonderful and just!!! THE WAY TARA IS SO GOOD AND LOVING AND GIVING AND MAKES SPACE FOR EVERYONE AND WE DONT TALK ABOUT HER ENOUGH I LOVE HER also the way she's a lesbian :))) what i love about tara btvs is that she's GAY and a WITCH and my BEST FRIEND

least favorite thing about them

the way ok i am Not on board with 's7 is bad' discourse like s7 is GOOD ACTUALLY it's GREAT ACTUALLY but the one place where s7 IS bad is that tara's not there. ... literally there is a tara-sized hole in the show WHERE IS SHE I MISS HER

favorite line

SHE PRACTICALLY HAD GENUINE MOLDED PLASTIC STAMPED ON HER ASS ....... JUST TRYING A LITTLE SPICY TALK

brOTP

TARA BUFFY BEST FRIENDS TARA BUFFY BEST FRIENDS TARA BUFFY BEST FRIENDS

OTP

LOOK ok i have complicated feelings about tillow which is namely that willow isnt good enough for tara..... after all the abuse tara suffered at the hands of her family and at glory, that willow's behavior in s6 breaks my heart a little and it's no coincidence that s6 tara is literally fucking thriving. ... the way s6 is everyone suffering and weeping and meanwhile tara is GLOWING and WINNING THAT BREAKUP

THAT SAID. like... tillow are meeting at literally age like?? 18? 19? theyre in their early 20s in s6?? and it makes sense that theyre not going to be in a place to have the world's healthiest relationship at that point and truly like,,, tara and willow as two girls who always felt WRONG and the way that relates to queerness and also to just being shy and socially inept and the way THEY FIND EACH OTHER. I GOT SO LOST. I FOUND YOU I WILL ALWAYS FIND YOU (just started crying hi i CANT think about amber benson 'i got so lost' without actively weeping crying tearing up sobbing) .... like they LOVE EACH OTHER and CHOOSE EACH OTHER and i truly believe with time and maturity they will grow into healthy wonderful wives :)))

nOTP

tara and any man that's literally a whole lesbian that is THEE lesbian

random headcanon

HORSE GIRL TARA. mythology geek tara :)))) tara who says "oh my gods" instead of "oh my god" every single time :))) tara loves herbal tea and makes blends herself :))) tara has seen joseph campbell's 'the power of myth' documentary more times than anyone else on earth :)))) tara's favorite movie is practical magic. tara has a daughter and she names her after her mom :)))) tara post-chosen gets really into energy healing and she and willow have a house in berkeley and willow's a professor at the university and tara makes teas and does healing and aura readings and buffy and faith send slayers who've experienced trauma in the line of duty to tara's house for healing :))))) tara is very calm except when she plays cards and then she gets really competitive and doesnt know how to tamp it down. I COULD GO ALL DAY (and so could tara my next headcanon is she loves marathon sex no one has ever eaten pussy like tara maclay for her it is an olympic sport I SAID WHAT I SAID)

unpopular opinion

ZIGZAG PART GOOD ACTUALLY.

song i associate with them

bro so many .... landscape (demo) by florence .... garden song by phoebe bridgers .... this year by the mountain goats .... monster by dodie .... stay down by boygenius .... thumbs by lucy dacus ... dreams by the cranberries ... i feel the earth move by carole king .... closer to fine by the indigo girls .... oceanic feeling by lorde ....jackie and wilson by hozier. ....

favorite picture of them

LOOK AT HER SHE'S SO !!!! LOOK AT THIS LESBIAN!! LOOK AT THIS MOTHERFUCKING LESBIAN

#ask

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soup-du-silence · 3 years

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If you are comfortable with it, I'd love to hear your critiques of the finale, ESPECIALLY with how they handled Webby and Lena's final interactions with each other. I'm seeing you talk about it a bit on twitter, and I'm vigorously nodding my head to much of what you and others are criticizing the finale for. Obviously, if you'd rather just ignore this whole fiasco, I completely understand, and I look forward to the stories you continue to make about Webby and Lena!

god. okay.

ducktales spoilers below

SPECIFICALLY the weird webby and lena moments -- Lena calling team magic sisters and Webby snapping at Lena for her strong reaction to getting her string on the board cut -- mean absolutely nothing to me. i simply reject them. i dont know where they came from. Lena and Webby havent called each other sisters since their first episode together. It feels...unlike Webby to snub a Lena apology like that.

And then they didnt really....interact again much, after that, right? unless im forgetting. there was a lot to be mad about.

and I guess, like. Here’s the thing. aside from some really powerful moments in season 2, the romantic subtext surrounding webby and lena was EXTREMELY dialed back. we had Lena’s hyper-powered jealous freak out in friendship hates magic and...what Ive always counted as an indirect kiss in nightmare on killmotor hill, but there were no more leslie-knopisms. Far less of Webby waxing poetic about lena’s virtues. Adding Violet meant less shared capital-L Looks or hugs or hand holds. So By the time season 2 wrapped up and a lot of that stuff wasnt as apparent, and they never bothered mentioning Lena ONCE before she came back, it became kind of clear that this was not a thing that was happening any more.

Then we got Penny’s “outing” which was not at all an outing. And seeing that penny not wanting to date earth men was a “compromise” that needed to be “fought for” really nailed that coffin shut for me. If we couldn’t get an openly wlw totally original tertiary character, we weren’t going to get it from Webby.

I dont know if they got unhappy executive notes about season 1 or if there was someone around championing the relationship early in production who left to work on other things, or if they just decided it wasnt important, but any hope held out for it after late season 2 was just me being delusional. I wanted to believe, I really did.

maybe I was delusional all along. Had my shipping goggles on. I dont know. I mean, it happens. it wouldnt be the first time and it wont be the last.

I just really, REALLY wanted it, you know?

we couldnt have gotten like...one last ...something? Something just for them, to harken back to the energy they had in season 1?

sigh.

i havent written in a long time because i dont really have any stories left to tell, but I do brainstorm many projects with PCS. while I, and especially he, have often taken canon reveals in stride (when he first started writing Longest Shadows, we did not yet know about Violet. He was able to add her in fairly seamlessly, i think) I dont think we’ll be paying attention to any of this, ESPECIALLY some shit about Webby being Scrooge’s clone. (dumb dumb stupid dumb) I mean, you can ask him about it, but I know we’ve already shared some choice words, lol. Even if I operate under the assumption that the clone thing is and has been true all along, I’ll simply be working in a universe where it never came to light.

i can’t believe we would take this story about found family and make it about genetics in the 11th hour. what the holy fucking fuck is this nonsense. ugh.

I dont want to say I cant believe i wasted the last 5 years of my life on ducktales, because I didnt. It meant a lot to me. I had a lot of fun, i met some really awesome people, and in particular one person I can count among my very best friends in the whole world. so it wasnt a waste. And im not going to go on one of these weird tirades against frank where I try to hold him accountable for my emotional damages or whatever because Im an adult and not delusional. Thats the story he wanted to tell, for some reason I will never understand. We’re going to keep writing and daydreaming our own. And maybe, if Im lucky, I’ll live long enough to see the next reboot headed by some queer kid who grew up seeing themself in little baby gay webby vanderquack and makes it canon. N...not that we need another reboot. But i would watch that one. Just saying.

#ducktales #ducktales spoilers #weblena #Anonymous

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unpopularshipbracket · 11 months

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Round 1a Match 1

Rashmi Jamil/Amelie Macon (Entropic Float)

Fic count: 0

Liam Dunbar/Hayden Romero (Teen Wolf)

Fic count: 336

Propaganda under the cut