#i do think it's more likely he did at some point realize jc had no idea tho

[lgbtlunaverse]

A slightly unhinged case for jin guangyao knowing about the core transfer while WWX was still alive

Ok. SO. In chapter 101, during guangyin temple, Jin Guangyao clearly knows about the golden core transfer. He uses it to bring Jiang Cheng off-kilter and stab him and simultaneously reveals to wwx that jc himself now knows about the golden core transfer.

I've always wondered exactly when he figured it out. The most obvious explanation is that he pieced it together after hearing about Jiang Cheng asking everyone to unsheathe suibian (also? jgy? how the fuck do you know that? You were already going to/at Guanyin temple at this point! Did you just have people listen in on rumours from Yunmeng and report back to you for that?? Did you tell your spy network where you were going? My whole kingdom for a retelling of this arc from the pov of these random jin disciples seeing their sect leader start spiralling. He's diggin up random tombs? Fleeing the country? And threatening the heir's life?? What was random Jin cultivator #6 thinking of this before Nie Mingjue turned him into minced meat?)

BUT.

The first time I read that line I was like "oh so he's known for a WHILE." I mean, the line "I've always found it peculiar [that wwx never took his sword anywhere]" does indicate he's been thinking about this for a while, but it doesn't have to mean he knew back then. So I absolutely can't say with certainty that my instinct was right. But I DO have some decent canon backing for how he might have potentially figured things out as early as before Wei Wuxian's death. Specifically, after the discussion scene that takens place when wei wuxian does his thing with the wens and dissapears.

Cause, see, Wen Chao would definitely have bragged about Wen Zhuliu crushing Jiang Cheng's core to his father. He killed the current sect leader, and then permanently disabled the only heir. He did it! the Jiang are gone! I bet he was very loud about it until, a few weeks later, Jiang Cheng suddenly strolls up to the battlefield, with Zidian on his finger, cultivation very much intact, looking for Wei Wuxian.

That must've been fucking baffling if you were Wen Chao and/or Wen Zhuliu and/or any other cultivator who was there and definitely saw Jiang Cheng's core get crushed. They must have assumed something went wrong, or he faked having his core destroyed, but we've never heard of something like that happening before, and they tortured him for hours! It wasn't a quick batle where Wen Zhuliu must have missed in haste, he would've noticed!

Now, by the time Meng yao arrives, wen zhuliu and wen chao are both long dead, but that kind of thing would at least still be a source of gossip among the other Wen. The only time the core melting hand ever failed!

It might be something that, say... a very careful spy with a perfect memory looking for information... might pick up on in his stay with the Wen, no?

So, Meng Yao has heard the rumour that sect leader Jiang got his core crushed but somehow managed to... still have a core.

Independantly of his, Wei Wuxian is being really weird and refusing to carry his sword. His primary concern there is wwx stirring shit up, he has no reason to believe these things are connected yet.

But then Wei Wuxian runs off with a bunch of Wen, and before he is cut off, Jiang Cheng tells everyone that after the siege on lotus pier, he and wei wuxian were helped by Wen Qing and Wen Ning! Jiang Cheng doesn't get to say how, which is good for jgy in this moment because he's trying to steer the conversation as such that no one gets mad at the Jin sect for all the war crimes, but even if his goal is for everyone else to forget Jiang Cheng said that, he'd remember it.

So... after the moment where jiang cheng, according to rumours that were contained to the wen, lost his core, he was helped by wen ning and wen qing, who is a really good doctor. And, in canon, had written theoretical proposals on core transfers before, just never experimented on them. Were these available for others among the Wen to read? Did jgy read them? We have no way of knowing. But if he did, he remembers them. Either way, he knows her reputation.

And Wei Wuxian disappeared right round that same moment, only to resurface with his demonic cultivation, at which point he never touched his sword again. Not even in the middle of a dangerous war. Not even when he was public enemy number one and it would do wonders for his reputation if he was seen cultivating the traditional path. When doing so would have made not just him but the 50 people he was shielding safer! if Jin guangyao was somehow in his position, he'd immediately do everything he could to counteract the narrative of beign a dangerous madman who'd left the straight path. Wei Wuxian has been in absolutely desperate situations and still refuses to pick up his sword...

The saying doesn't exist yet, but i'm sure someone like jgy, more competent than everyone around him, is intimately familair with at least the sentiment of "never ascribe to malice what is adequately explained by incompetence" He is helping spread the narrative of Wei Wuxian as a violent madman, sure, but does he believe it? If it makes no sense for wei wuxian, no longer a privileged young master but an outcast, to not pick up his sword again out of arrogancy, the most reliable explanation is that he... can't.

So Jiang Cheng, who got his core melted, got help from Wen Qing, an incredible doctor, after which he coud cultivate just fine but Wei Wuxian, no matter how desperate, never used traditional cultivation ever again...

Hm. interesting!

It's likely no one else in the jianghu outside of the wen even knew Jiang Cheng lost his core to begin with. And Jin Guangyao was never given wwx's excuse of Baoshan Sanren owing him a favor like Jiang Cheng was. He has all the puzzle pieces in front of him and... if anyone as gonna put them together, it'd be him.

And that's my unhinged case for why I believe Jin Guangyao knew Wei Wuxian didn't have a golden core anymore years before anyone else did. He just never told anyone, because why would he?

I think this adds a whole other level to his speech to Jiang Cheng about how everything could've worked out if he'd just trusted Wei Wuxian more and stood by his side. He saw it all play out in real time knowing there was more going on beneath the surface!

Now the really interesting question becomes: When did he figure out Jiang Cheng himself wasn't in on it? Did he piece it together immediately from remembering seeing jiang cheng berate wwx for not carrying a sword, a thing he should've known he couldn't do? Or was it not until later, maybe the fake yunmeng bros fallout, or the REAL fallout when Jiang Yanli died? Or was it still the news of Jiang Cheng going around and asking everyone to unsheathe subian that made him realize that oh my god this stupid bitch had no idea the whole time.

#mdzs #meng yao #jin guangyao #wei wuxian #wen qing #jiang cheng #mdzs headcanons #mdzs meta #<- tagging both cause it's like... in between #i don't think this is clear-cut canon i'm theorising but i'm also not just throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks #i am looking at the wall very carefully to see what places are the stickiest #the concept jgy thinking jc just. let wwx put his core in him and then didn't protect him from the fallout. #would really color their relationship like he would not show it but ohhhh there'd be resentment there! #yeah no sect leader jiang he's NOT letting jin ling go alone on a nighthunt with you he might not get back with all his organs intact! #i do think it's more likely he did at some point realize jc had no idea tho

[lucidlivi]

I Can See You (II)

Series Masterlist/Warnings

Tag List: @jc-winchester @mrsjenniferwinchester @perpetualabsurdity @antisocialcorrupt @heavenlyackles @anixiiee @jackles010378 @suckitands33 @deans-spinster-witch @k-slla @alternativeprincess @spnbaby-67 @cevansbaby-dove @cutedisneygrl @ladysparkles78 @rach5ive @deansapplepie @lauraashley93 @hzllxhoundxx @kmc1989 @creative-writing92 (if you would like added please comment on this post or send an ask with the story name so I can keep my story tag lists straight!)

"well I can see you."

What did that even mean?

Was he trying to flirt with me?

Surely not!

Although all of me wished that was the case, it couldn't be.

Could it?

I spent the rest of the night, well in to the next morning thinking about his words. I heard a light knocking on my door breaking me from my spiraling thoughts. Jared opens the door, crashing on my bed. I take my hand running it through his shaggy hair, it was something that always calmed him.

"what's up?" I asked him as he sighed.

"just tired, and a little nervous to start filming today." He admitted.

"don't be nervous, you'll be great, you always are." I smiled.

"I'm kind of glad you're coming with."

"kind of?" I scoffed in mock hurt.

"you know what I mean you brat." Jared said shoving my hand away from his hair.

"if anyone is a brat here it's you moose." I teased.

"just shut up and get dressed, we have to leave in a hour."

"you cut me deep moose." I joked.

Jared rolled his eyes before standing up and walking towards the door.

"uh one more thing, just uh stick with me and Jensen today, don't go wandering off like you do." Jared said, referring to my disappearing act last night at the party.

Jensen.

At the mention of his name, the events from last night, his words, it all came flooding back. I bit my lip, once again starting my spiral of overthinking.

"did you hear me?" Jared asked.

I rolled my eyes at him. He could be really annoyingly overprotective sometimes. I reluctantly shook my head in agreement.

"now get out of here!" I groaned throwing a pillow at him.

Jared dodged it easily, laughing before departing from my room.

I quickly got up throwing on some jeans and a t-shirt that read I ❤️Dean Winchester. I got it simply because I knew it would make Jared mad, and as his little sister I had a duty to annoy him as much as possible.

I ran a hand through my hair before descending down the stairs. Jared and Jensen sat in the kitchen, hunched over bowls of cereal. Jared was the first one to look up.

"what are you wearing?" He asked rolling his eyes, causing Jensen to look up too.

I could see the grin spread to Jensen's face.

"I for one love it." He smirked.

Jared rolled his eyes again.

"I can't wear your merch, that'd be weird, besides everyone knows Dean is the superior Winchester." I laughed grabbing the cereal box and dumping some in to my open mouth.

"she's got a point." Jensen said grabbing the cereal box from my hands to pour me a bowl.

"I hate you both." Jared grumbled, getting up to put his bowl in the sink.

I could feel an awkward tension settle between me and Jensen as Jared left the room. It was the first time where I had no clue what to say to him. It seemed like he was struggling with the same thing.

"about last night.." Jensen started but I cut him off.

"what about it?"

"I uh probably shouldn't have said that.." He said rubbing his neck nervously.

Ouch.

It was silly of me to think he meant anything by it.

"oh, okay." I whispered, trying my best to hide the disappointment in my voice.

Jensen breathed a sigh, standing up and walking over to the sink to deposit his bowl. He turns around quickly glancing at me.

"I meant it, I just probably shouldn't have said it."

I was dumbfounded as I watched him leave the kitchen.

I let out a shaky breath I didn't realize I was holding. I couldn't stop the smile that spread to my face.

Holy Shit.

It was definitely him being flirty.

Why else would he say he shouldn't have said it?

He didn't want Jared to know he was flirting with his little sister.

Okay, maybe I was getting a little too ahead of myself.

I scarfed down the rest of my cereal quickly joining the boys in the car. I kept sneaking glances at Jensen but he never returned them. It was like when other people were around, I was just Jared's annoying little sister, but when we were alone he was different.

I was feeling excited when we got to set. Jared and Jensen immediately went to wardrobe and makeup, dragging me along. I didn't realize just how much went into getting ready for shooting. As soon as they were ready they were whisked away to start filming. I stayed close, just like I had promised. I didn't mind though, it was cool to see Jensen and Jared take on a different persona and become Sam and Dean Winchester.

I giggled as Jensen broke character, yelling at Jared for messing up his lines.

"be nice to him!" I yelled from the sidelines.

Jared gave me a look as if telling me to shut up. I smirked before standing up and stretching my muscles. It felt like we've been here for hours already. I know I promised to stick close, but I really needed to find a bathroom.

I slipped away quietly, walking around the massive studio. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out, bringing it to life. It was a text from mom asking how Jared was doing. I rolled my eyes typing back a reply. It seems it didn't matter how I was doing, like usual.

I was too busy looking at my phone that I didn't see the body in front of me until I was crashing in to it.

"shit, are you okay?"

I looked up to see a really handsome guy, he looked to be around the same age as me.

"uh yeah, that was totally my fault." I said taking his extended hand so he could help me to my feet.

"are you uh a Jensen fan?" He asked pointing to my shirt with a laugh.

"I'm uh, Jared, uh Sam's sister, I got it mainly to make him mad." I said awkwardly.

I wasn't the kind of girl who was experienced with talking to guys, especially handsome ones.

"Well Jared Sam's sister it's nice to meet you I'm Jeremiah, I'm an extra for the first two episodes." He teased.

"It's nice to meet you too extra Jeremiah." I teased back surprising myself.

He laughed, making me blush.

"It's uh (y/n)." I said with a smile.

"(y/n), nice name for a nice personality." Jeremiah said making me blush even harder.

I wasn't use to men complimenting me.

"thank you." I replied shyly.

"well uh, I should get going, I'm supposed to be in the makeup trailer." He smiled offering me a small wave.

"Jeremiah." I called causing him to turn around.

"could you uh, maybe point me towards a bathroom?" I asked with a laugh.

"I'll do you one better, follow me."

I started to walk next to Jeremiah, taking a moment to get a good look at him. He had the prettiest blue eyes, a vast contrast from Jensen's green ones. He was naturally tan, with muscles protruding from his shirt.

"I get it, it can get a little crazy on set, hard to find things." Jeremiah spoke, breaking the silence.

"yeah I don't know how you guys do it." I admitted looking at where we were.

I was indeed going the complete opposite direction of the bathroom.

"yeah and I'm just an extra." He said sounding a little bummed.

I grabbed his hand giving it a comforting squeeze.

"Jeremiah don't worry you'll get your big break soon enough, Jared thought he was going to be working odd jobs forever and now look at him." I comforted.

"you're really cool, you know that?" Jeremiah said turning towards me with a smile.

I felt the blush spreading to my cheeks once again.

"you're really cool too." I smiled.

"uh here we are." Jeremiah says gesturing to a door.

"thanks." I said offering him another genuine smile.

"see you around Jared Sam's sister." He said with a wink.

"see you around extra Jeremiah."

I couldn't fight the smile on my face. It was nice to be noticed by someone. I quickly used the restroom, before skipping happily back to set where the boys stood.

"what's got you so smiley?" Jensen asked as he took a seat beside me.

"oh nothing." I said trying to shrug it off.

"no come on, just tell me." Jensen said bumping me with his elbow.

I took a deep breath. I could tell Jensen wasn't going to give it up.

"Jeremiah, he's uh one of the extras on set, he's nice." I shrugged as if it weren't a big deal.

I thought for a second I saw a flash of disappointment on Jensen's face.

"nice is he?" Jensen asked leaning back in the chair.

"yes, he was nice." I said bumping him with my elbow.

"just be careful, nice guys are the ones you have to watch out for." Jensen said.

"are you giving me relationship advice?" I asked with a giggle.

"just want you to be careful baby moose."

I rolled my eyes at his nickname.

"can you please stop calling me that, I just want to be called by my actual name." I grumbled making Jensen smirk.

Jensen stood up, leaning in to whisper in my ear.

"nah, you'll always be my baby moose."

I couldn't fight the blush that spread to my cheeks as I watched him walk back to set, ready to film the next scene.

my baby moose.

Holy Shit.

I settled back in the chair trying to calm my breathing as I watched the next scene. I saw Jeremiah walk on to screen, reciting his lines. He caught my eye offering me a smile. I offered him one back, catching Jensen's attention.

"and that's a wrap." I heard the director yell off screen.

I stood up ready to greet Jared. I was surprised to see Jeremiah walking over to me.

"Hi." He said with a grin.

"Hi Jeremiah, you were great out there." I said offering him a smile.

"Thanks, I uh came over to see if maybe you wanted to go get coffee with me?" Jeremiah asked with a hopeful smile on his face.

Woah.

He was asking me on a date?

I glanced past him to see Jensen talking with a female coworker. He was laughing and putting a hand on her arm.

I realized that Jensen would never like me the way I liked him.

"I would love to go for coffee with you Jeremiah." I said loud enough so Jensen could hear.

"great, uh let me go change and then we can go." Jeremiah said before rushing off.

I smiled as I watched him leave.

"ready to go?" Jared asked returning from his trailer.

"actually she has a date tonight." Jensen said before I could.

I glared at him.

"a date? who with?" Jared questioned.

"Jeremiah, the extra." Jensen answered again scoffing as he said extra.

"so what if he's an extra, he's nice, and he likes me." I said, glaring directly at Jensen.

"I didn't say there was anything wrong with being an extra." Jensen defended.

"yeah well you sure seem like you have a problem." I growled.

"Jared and I don't want you to get hurt is all." Jensen shot back.

"I think the both of you should just let me make my own decisions." I yelled.

Jensen was about to respond, but Jeremiah was walking over to us again.

"I uh know this great coffee shop, you ready to go?" He asked nervously looking at Jared and Jensen.

"I am, I'll see you both later." I said glaring at both boys, but mostly Jensen.

Who did he think he was?

He acts one way when we're around everyone else and another when we're in private. It was confusing and frustrating. It was like he was ashamed to be with me. I deserved to have someone who was happy to be around me, happy to be seen with me.

Jensen

I watched her walk away, slipping her hand in his.

I could feel the jealously burning in my chest.

I shouldn't be jealous, I know that.

I can't help it.

I thought I made it clear that I was interested, but I guess I hadn't made it clear enough.

"dude, what's up with you?" Jared asked looking at me.

"nothing, I just don't want baby moose to get taken advantage of by some guy we don't even know." I said trying to hide what I was actually feeling.

"I mean yeah but he seems harmless enough." Jared shrugs.

I think that was the problem.

He seemed like a good guy. A guy that could treat her how she deserved to be treated. A guy that Jared approved of.

"I guess so." I answered.

"I'm beat, you ready to go home?" Jared asked with a yawn.

"I'll catch you at home, there's some things I need to take care of first." I said offering him a smile.

"okay man, see you later." Jared said with a wave.

I was suddenly feeling the need for some coffee.

Reader

"oh my gosh no." Jeremiah said laughing at my embarrassing story.

I had been talking to Jeremiah for over an hour. He was super easy to talk to once I got over the nerves. He was actually really funny too. I was thoroughly enjoying myself.

"I swear to you, spilled it all over the designer." I said laughing too.

"you certainly have a thing for great first impressions." Jeremiah winked.

"It's one of my many shining qualities." I joked.

"I mean you didn't have to hurt yourself to get my attention." Jeremiah flirts, placing a hand on my cheek.

I couldn't stop the blush that spread to my cheeks.

"you're cute when you blush." Jeremiah said gently stroking my cheek with his thumb.

"I probably look like a mess." I said laughing.

"I don't think that's even possible." He whispered, closer to me now.

I could see his eyes shifting from mine, down to my lips.

I think he wants to kiss me.

I think I might want him too.

I gulped as he leaned in, fluttering his eyes closed.

"baby moose, so funny seeing you here."

I jumped at Jensen's loud voice pulling away from Jeremiah.

"Jeremiah right?" Jensen asks holding his hand out for Jeremiah to shake.

"yeah, hey." Jeremiah answers shaking his hand.

It was incredibly awkward as Jensen stood staring at Jeremiah.

"uh Jere, can you go get me a refill?" I asked handing him my empty coffee cup.

"sure, be right back." Jeremiah smiled, taking my cup and disappearing towards the front.

I turned towards Jensen glaring at him.

"what the hell do you think you're doing?" I growled.

"oh you know just getting some coffee."

"you have no right, you need to go!"

"relax, I'm just grabbing some coffee." Jensen smirked.

"well grab your coffee and go, now."

"you don't have to be such a brat." Jensen scoffed before leaving.

Jeremiah came back shortly after with a now full cup of coffee.

"everything okay there?" He asked looking around for Jensen.

"yeah, sorry he just can be kind of an ass sometimes." I said furrowing my eyebrows.

I sat with Jeremiah for another hour, talking and laughing. He then offered to drive me home, which of course I accepted. He pulled in to the driveway, turning off the car.

"I uh, had a really nice time with you tonight." Jeremiah said.

"I had a good time too, thank you." I said offering him a smile.

"I guess this is goodnight then." Jeremiah said slowly, like he was dreading leaving.

"I mean shouldn't we say goodnight properly?" I asked turning towards him with a flirty smile.

Jeremiah smirked, getting what I was hinting at.

Jeremiah leaned in, capturing my lips with his in a gentle kiss. I put my hand on his cheek, kissing him deeper. He was really good at it. I slowly pulled away, allowing the blush to spread to my cheeks.

"goodnight Jeremiah." I said before exiting the car.

I couldn't fight the smile as I walked in to the house, going towards the kitchen.

"how was the rest of your hot date?" Jensen asked sitting at the kitchen island.

I felt my anger towards him return.

"excuse me?"

"relax (y/n) I was just having a bit of fun." Jensen said.

"you're an asshole you know that, okay, all I wanted was to go on a date with a guy I think is cute, and sweet and you had to show up and ruin it." I growled.

"and me showing up for like two seconds ruined that, really?"

"why couldn't you just let me have this one thing, just admit it you cared where I was, who I was with." I started but Jensen quickly cut me off.

"no I didn't, I don't." Jensen was quick to defend

"stop lying!"

"stop being such a baby!"

"oh and you're such an adult huh, you spent your night crashing my first date just for fun!" I yelled furious at him.

Jensen glared at me, taking a sip of his beer.

"you know what just forget it, why don't you go flirt with some more girls." I scoffed turning to walk away.

"yeah, well why don't you go kiss some more wannabe actors." Jensen growled.

I took a deep breath walking away from him.

I feel that if someone really wants you in their life, they’re gonna show it, not just talk about it, and if their actions don’t match up to their words, I lose interest fast.

Jensen was unbelievable.

If he wanted me, he would show it.

I used to know I wanted him, but now I'm not so sure.

Author Note:

I hope you enjoyed part two! If you could, please leave a heart, comment, reblog, or a follow it would be greatly appreciated! Stay tuned for more!

#jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles imagine #jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles x female!reader #jensen x reader #dean winchester #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester x reader #supernatural #supernatural imagine #spn reader insert #spn #spnfandom #jared padalecki #jensen ackles preference #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles fic #jensen ackles fluff #jared padalecki x reader #jensen and jared

[oneeyedoctogod]

Disclaimer: long, extremely personal rant. Yes, it's also about mdzs and Jiang Cheng but mainly, it's about me trying to deal with my own trauma when I'm being hit in the face (metaphorically) with it by putting my feelings into words. The posting is so I don't erase it and force myself to forget about it.

You know it's funny, but as I was trying to sleep (and failing. Badly. It's 2:38 am.) I kept on finding myself thinking about why I didn't like Jiang Cheng. Because you see, it's rare for me to dislike a character that much, to the point I actually have blacklisted all his tags and avoid any fics that talk about him positively.

(Again, this is an extremely personal post about my own feelings. This is not meant as a rebuke if you love him. On the contrary. Keep doing what sparks joy. Just, you know, far away from me.)

I have a funny history with the mdzs fandom. I first started watching the donghua when it started airing back in... 2018? 2019? Can't remember for sure. Then I was left hungry for more because only the first season had aired, and it ended on a big cliffhanger. I saw it was an adaptation, so I went looking for the source material... and found the manhua (I was used to japanese animation at that point and thought that was it). The manhua was also being fan translated, and despite being extremely different (and confusing for poor past me), ALSO left me on a cliffhanger. I was desperate and saw someone pointing out there was a novel! I finally found it, read it in a few nights, and loved it. I read a bunch of fics, enjoyed myself, met and befriended people. Then I moved on after a while. I remember, distinctly, that I wasn't a big fan of Jiang Cheng but that I could at least stomach him in fics.

Last December, I felt the urge to reread some mdzs fics. I read some popular ones and, after falling into the animatics and amvs rabbit hole, decided to rewatch the donghua. Except for some reason, Jiang Cheng's character rubbed me wrong. I remembered not liking him much but he wasn't that bad in the fics so I couldn't see why he was so distasteful in the donghua. I'd been warned that the donghua wasn't that faithful (my own memory was extremely hazy), so I just shrugged it off. Maybe the people behind the donghua weren't fans of jc?

I saw there was an official translation of the novel and, by that point, DEEP into the hyper fixation, I bought all four available volumes and read them. At the same time, I was still reading fics. It was fine after all, I already knew the story.

By then, I had realized something was a little wrong with the characteristization. Some of the tropes given to Wei Wuxian rubbed me the wrong way. I looked it up a little (remade a tumblr, found amazing meta, the rest is history) and figured "Ah that must be cql fics. That's the problem."

And yes, that's true. In part.

The other problem lies with the particular way some people write Jiang Cheng. I'll be clear again: I have nothing against those people. Most of them I don't know and I'm aware this is very much a, shall we say, "me" problem. It's why I avoid the positive Jiang Cheng content. I don't care if you keep writing it so long as you keep it away from the canon jc tag.

But whenever people write Jiang Cheng and completely erase his crimes and abuse of both Wei Wuxian and Jin Ling, I feel it like a slap on the face.

Last Monday, I saw a therapist and talked about her about many things (I did warn this would be a very personal post). Part of it was my mother and her treatment of me and my brothers. And after barely a few words, she said, very simply "Oh so your mother abused you."

I already knew that. I use those words myself to describe my history with her. But the validation is always nice to hear, you know? Especially because so many people try or have tried to brush it off as "nothing." My own mother did, both about her own behaviour and when I was being abused by other people and tried to seek her help. Hell, even I still do it sometimes.

And I think that's why I hate Jiang Cheng so damn much now. His canon self is... Well, I'm not a fan, but he's a well-written antagonist. But dear gods, I've seen so many people brush off his canon characteristics to make him into a more palatable character, the loving uncle, the funny tsundere brother, the ace guy who hates mushy romance (let me tell you, as an ace person I am also real fucking tired of homophobic characters being hc as ace)... Even the ones who mention his bad parts feel the need to immediately add his achievements, as if they don't dare speak badly of their fave. "Yes, he tortured Wei Wuxian, but he also sacrificed his core to save him!" "Yes, he hit and verbally abused Jin Ling, but he also lovingly raised him!" "Yes, he tortured and killed innocent people but he also has trauma and had to lead a sect when he was so young!"

And this feels familiar, every time. This feels like the people telling me "Yes but it's not that bad" or saying "Yes your mother gave you panic attacks but she made sure you didn't fail at school" or "Yes but she made you love reading" or "Yes but she gave you so much, don't be selfish" or "Yes but she was here for you when you were depressed" or "Yes but she has it hard too" until I fell in the habit of saying "Sure, my mother insulted me and threatened me financially and there was a long, long time I was convinced she didn't love me... but."

Always that damn BUT.

So you might be able to understand why I have a hard time with Jiang Cheng when people pull the same shit all thenfucking time. I'm working on it because I'd rather not be stuck feeling anxious about a silly purple grape just because he happens to be fandom fave in my current hyperfixation but in the meantime, I have to deal with it and it's... annoying. To say the least.

(I'm going to insist here: I know that Jiang Cheng isn't my mother. That's not the point here. I am fully aware he's a fictional character and that me feeling that way is something I should be working on. I am. And I'm not telling people to stop writing positive content for him. This is just me trying to put into words my complicated feelings for a complicated character. And ranting, a little bit, about badly tagged fics I admit.)

It's easier on social media. You just block the characters tag and, if people bother you about it, you block them. Friends being friends, I just need to tell them "I don't feel comfortable talking about this character" or "let's agree to disagree on this interpretation" and because my friends are the best, they agree and we move on.

Fanfiction is where the problem lies.

I know why people erase the 'hard' parts, or at least I have a good guess. It's easier that way. Fanfiction is about having fun! It's about writing about your blorbos the way you want to! I don't want to police anyone's content. I'd just like it if people tagged their OOC and stopped trying to make me feel as if I'm the one who misread the book because I don't feel like erasing the canonical abuse this character did or because I don't like that they keep putting down my favorite character to uplift theirs.

I'm not sure how to conclude this. I should be sleeping honestly.

Let's try this: if you read this to the end, congrats I guess. I want to reiterate I don't care if you make Jiang Cheng into the most loving, best brother and uncle ever. Just be aware of what you're erasing first. And tag your goddamn fics.

#screaming into the abyss #not sure whether to tag this as the fandom or not #let's go with no #we'll see tomorrow if i feel differently #feel free to reblog so long as you stay respectful #this isn't about hating on people #this is about me working through my problems so that trauma doesn't color my view of a character #if i dislike a character i want it to be because i find them obnoxious #not because their fanbase remind me of my mother #gods I'm tired and I'm sad

[layzeal]

i said 5 months ago i was gonna share my thoughts on this scene and never did, so it's time to dig this out

what did wei wuxian mean by asking shijie "why would someone like another person" and why i.... don't think he's talking about lan wangji (i know-- i know. just bear with me)

or more accurately: an analysis of chapter 71, wwx's thoughts on love, and how mxtx utilizes parallels between past and present!

(Ch 71 of MDZS web revised edition //// ExR translation)

okay let's get straight to the point that's gonna make y'all want to call me a stupid bitch who can't read: i legitimately do not think wwx was talking about lwj in this scene! here's why:

first and foremost, let's remember what the status of wangxian's relationship was at this point after sunshot ended

first, phoenix mountain: a callback to their teen dynamic. wwx's silly and flirty personality is back, he teases lwj by throwing a peony at him then asking to borrow his ribbon. lwj is frustrated, etc. lwj forcefully kisses wwx then gets angry at himself. wwx finds him and gets worried that something happened to him. they walk together and talk in very friendly manner until the xuanli incident happens. by the end they part on good terms

then, yunmeng teahouse: the first scene of this chapter. wwx is feeling quite upbeat about seeing lwj as they had a nice chat last time they met. he does a lil phoenix mountan callback by throwing a peony at him, then asking him to come upstairs and hang out. lwj does but it.... doesnt end well. he's worried about wwx's worsening temper and fears he's starting to show signs of loss of control, and asks him once again to go to gusu with him. that severely sours wwx's mood, to the point of snapping at lwj when lwj implies that he'll regret it in the future. lwj realizes his mistake and they become polite again, but the atmosphere is significantly strained, and wwx even comments that he was presumptious and shouldn't have invited him over, which lwj dissents. wwx parts with a cordial but distant "thank you", and on... not great terms

what i think really makes the above hurt though is that, when wwx comes back to yunmeng and jc asks who he met. wwx answers this:

worse than jin zixuan.....oof. im so sorry hgj

so, it really is quite tragic. wwx had a nice time with lwj in phoenix mountain, and because of that he wanted to try and wash away their bad blood, ask him to hang out, recall some stories of their youth, maybe mend this relationship that became so strained during the war! what happens instead is that... he gets the harsh reminder of what (in his mind) lwj thinks of his cultivation, thinks he's not in control of it, that it's dangerous and he should be locked up. with that, they're all back to square one :(

the thing is, MDZS is quite known for being non-linear and having a humongous amount of flashbacks, and they're all set and positioned at the time they were for a reason! the thing is, as most read the novel once and then proceed to only revisit scenes separately, naturally forgetting about the grand-picture and the scenes that come before and after, we might misremember how some events play out or the state of the character arcs and relationships, and i believe the popular fanon interpretation that "omggg wwx was asking yanli this bc he likes lwj but can't admit this yet!!!! 🙈" is quite of a great example of this

but!! it's not for any bad reason, after all both the Audio Drama and CQL kinda play up this moment with some beautiful background music. this is, in the end, a romance novel! but let's put a pin on that for a bit and analyze what led to this scene, and why WWX came looking for shijie to ask her this

so as you see, the scene right before was wei wuxian and jiang cheng talking about jin zixuan, with jc asking wwx to not pick fights with him anymore since he's the heir of lanling jin. wwx is baffled because up until that point he and jc were trashtalking buddies when it came to jzx, but there's nothing they can do about it if shijie still likes him

that... makes wwx quite speechless, and he goes searching for her to get an answer. in his mind, jzx is still an awful, undeserving person! so why would shijie like him so much?

why would someone like another person?

of course, he's not as shameless to ask shijie right to her face why she likes someone like jzx, esp since she's already well familiar with his poor opinion of him, so he tries getting an "unbiased" answer by making a vague question, which in turn makes shijie think wwx is in love with someone else

now here's the thing: i feel like fandom tends to flanderize wwx when it comes to his unreliable narration, awareness of his own feelings or lan wangji's. we don't have time to get into that now, but if you've followed me for a while you know my thoughts on this

but here, specifically, i do not think wwx is in "denial about his crush" or "waving off because he doesnt want to get caught". his answer feels genuine, and honestly? really sad once you think about it

"I won't like anyone, at least not too much. Wouldn't it be like putting a rein on my own neck?"

this isn't strange once you consider the types of romantic relationships he grew up observing. other than his own parents', which he's mostly forgotten about, a strong love and attatchment sounds more like tying a rope around your neck. even though wwx is a romantic at heart who flirts easily but had been saving his first kiss for 20 years, he's still never felt this type of love for anyone before, and can't imagine putting himself through it

"So, wait... just because WWX said so you think you should believe it? You're telling me the curtains are just blue? If he's not talking about Lan Wangji, then what's the point of this scene?"

glad you asked!

you see, something that MXTX does quite often with the flashback placement in MDZS is contrast the moments where wangxian's relationship was at its best with moments where it was at its worst. As wwx recall these memories, his pre-conceived notions about lwj get challenged and his actions and words get recontextualized! my favorite example is probably the ending of the flashback of wwx's return, to him waking up in the cloud recesses

no i'll never shut up about this flashback placement. my goddd

so, when looking at the "why would someone like another person" scene, i ask you to not look at it by itself, but as a part of the literary work that mdzs is! because, as the wangxian of the past are stuck in this cordial, but strained relationship, do you remember where the wangxian of the present have currently been left at?

if you ask me, there is something incredibly sweet about leaving these characters at their most tender --- when one is finally beginning to not only understand his own feelings, but to suspect that those feelings are requited, in which he's allowing himself to imagine a calm and happy future with him right as they march inside the lion's den --- and meeting them again when they're younger, and strained, and not fully knowing how to communicate that they care for each other, which in turn only hurts them both.

there is something very sweet about seeing wwx who is slowly realizing that he's in love, testing the waters of that, seeing how much he can take, in what ways he can ask for affection, and then seeing him again as he says "i won't ever like someone, at least not so much. wouldnt it be suffocating? wouldn't it be an impediment? wouldnt it be shackling yourself?" because you, like a cheeky grandma, can look at him and think: you don't know yet, but i've seen you then. you will like someone very much, and it won't be restraining. in fact, you'll never feel more free...

and that is the biggest thing, about revisiting this scene after you're done. because you'll look back this 20-something WWX who genuinely believed loving someone to much is like putting a rein around his own neck... and knowing he'll know a love that not only will not feel like a restrain*, but will be there to catch him whenever something does

*okay, except in bed, but that's only a bonus for wwx

#i kinda miss literary analysis class. this is a love letter to my literature teachers #mdzs is a beautiful literary work and deserves to be treated as such! #anyways uhhh. wangxian is poggers #i feel like sometimes in people's attempts to make wx more tropey and traditionally romantic #it makes them lose what actually makes their romance so special #and the brilliance of the flashback placements in mdzs #i already wrote a lot today so no tag essay lmao. enjoy! #modao #lace speaks #do i put this in the tag? ehhhh #demi wwx

[stoopid-turtle]

BTS in Order Addendum 2

Second and final addendum for rn! This covers the translated bts clips for June that I found. Sadly, the playlist did not have July or Aug, so I can't go over those. If I ever do find July and Aug, I'll try to add it on.

As before, the timeline posts are already updated. I'm just highlighting some things here for those who don't want to hunt for the updates. Also, I tried to clean up some of the formatting but y'all, the formatting on Tumblr is just weird. I can't figure it out and I'm not gonna invest the time to do so, so I've done my best!

I can see where the WZC/GG pairing came from. GG and WZC seem quite close, often playful, and similarly physically affectionate to ggdd. Their dynamic is different, but I can def see how people could pull together a compilation of their bts clips for CPFs. (Not saying they were a real couple, like ggdd.)

Madam Jin did not seem to realize she was cast in a bl adaption.

There's much mentioned of dd's afterglow on 6.19 after the Dragon Boat Festival date, but I've never seen anyone mention that GG is also in a really great mood the next day. His first scene is in the forest with JC and JL, and he's all smiles and says, "I'm so happy this early morning. I really love my team."

JC says "Happy? What nonsense!" For some reason, this sets gg off on the giggles.

Needless to say, GG had his own afterglow.

Also on 6.19, there's this cute exchange between gg and the older lady producer (?), who is also from Chongqing:

Crewmember: So many beauties come from Chongqing. GG: I'm beautiful. Producer lady: More beautiful than me? GG: How can that be? Can't compare!

And then, a couple days later on 6.23, when dd is still gone, gg is in a hellishly rotten mood. He's visibly moody and unresponsive to xl and JC, both of whom try to cheer him up. At one point, he asks someone (his assistant?) if he has any crying scenes that day. And later he says, "Remember this feeling. After a month, when filming, definitely will..." I think he says something more to XL here, but I guess it was too quiet for the translator to hear. The implication to me is that he's gonna try to bring up the experience of his feelings in later scenes when WWX is having similar feelings.

Not everything with regards to the boys has to be about ggdd, so it's possible that gg's bad mood is bc of something else going on in his life. Family, friends, something with his company, politics, a stranger being a jerk, whatever. DD's one possibility among many. I did check out what dd was doing on 6.23 and 6.22, and he's on Produce 101, where he looks as DD (with a mullet) as ever. But there aren't any bts or unscripted clips of him where he might reveal a similar mood, so it's hard to say anything.

So basically, make of gg's bad mood what you will. It could be literally anything.

I need to talk about JC's fake butt

So the clip on 6.25, with JZX, Mianmian, dd, XL, and gg all chatting starts with them talking about JC wearing a "fake butt". I'm guessing butt padding? Some highlights:

DD is confused because he's "not even wearing jeans", to which gg asks if it makes sense to wear a fake butt in jeans.

The "reason" why JC wears this is apparently only known to XL and GG. XL refuses to explain.

GG says if she doesn't explain, dd will just walk up to JC and ask him, "JC, you wear a fake butt?"

Poor WZC did seem a bit put-upon on the set.

Also, unrelated, dd thinks sweat is sexy.

Also, the nasal spray that got passed around: looked sus, but not actually that sus. It's a Thai herbal nasal inhaler, which apparently looks a lot like people doing some uppers. (So much so that gg chastises the cameraman for filming it and XL turns her back to do it)

Also also, gg's rotten mood is gone. The clip on 6.23 of him being in a bad mood is only about 5 min long, and there's only a 45sec clip for 6.24. So basically, we have no idea what might have cheered him up and there are almost a full 2 days of stuff we know nothing about.

#bjyx #yizhan #the timeline of ggdd love yue #poor jc #but why the fake butt tho?

[piratekane]

for ur sentence starter thingies, curious to see what 11 & 28 would look like

love ur writing btw!:)

eleven: it wasn't your fault twenty-eight: how long has it been since you slept

Ava frowns at the woman going in dizzying circles around her. She's muttering in a language Ava doesn't understand - languages she doesn't understand, she realizes after a minute - and is hard to pin down. Ava raises her hand to catch the woman's attention, realizes it's bleeding, and cradles it to her chest instead.

Her boss is going to be pissed if she bleeds all over housewares. Less if she bleeds on her shirt.

"Uh, excuse me," she tries gently.

The woman keeps muttering. Ava thinks it might be French, but her French is limited to the word potato and counting 1-10. She watches, fascinated for a moment as the woman paces in all directions, but then remembers that Vincent is always circling the floor and he's definitely going to have something to say about a customer who seems to be losing her mind.

He's seen too many apocalypse movies lately; he doesn't trust any slight inclination towards paranoia. And this woman is teetering on the edge of that.

So, no manners. "Hey, lady!"

The woman pauses, a plate in her hand. Ava frowns. How did that get there? The woman looks down at it, seemingly confused as to why she's holding it.

The woman straightens up, shoulders back and cheeks stained red, and carefully puts the plate down on the display, arranging it perfectly before she meets Ava's eyes. "I'm sorry."

"It's totally cool, seriously." Ava smiles hesitantly. "Are you... are you okay?"

"Quite," the woman says quickly. Her eyes are fixed over Ava's shoulders, her hands now behind her back. She looks like a soldier at rest. It reminds her of that month Michael thought he was some kind of weekend warrior on leave. All the camouflage prints, cargo pants, and heavy work boots.

This woman is in cargo pants, too, tucked into a pair of boots that look like they could kick down a door. But, like, way better than Michael. Ava swallows, mouth a little dry. Her eyes travel up what she assumes has to be strong calves and muscled thighs to her waistband.

Ah, yes.

The woman notices her gaze and looks down. Her cheeks flush an even deeper pink and her hands go back to her front, concealing the clip of keys at her waist. They speak at the same time.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize."

Ava smiles and the woman frowns.

"I didn't mean to injure you." The woman's eyes zero in on the blood starting to slow its way down Ava's finger and her frown deepens. "Is it bad?"

"I'm sure it's not." She looks down at her chest and realizes there's a small bloodstain on her baby blue polo. She grimaces. Not a good look. Vincent is going to make her change into something from the employee lost and found and she's pretty sure the only thing in there is whatever JC left behind when he went to "find himself."

The woman looks unconvinced. "It looks it."

Ava shakes her head. "I'm a bleeder. It's really no big deal. It happens all the time." She smiles, hoping for charming, but it doesn't seem to do anything to ease the worry on the woman's face.

"People slice your hand open often here?"

Ava frowns. "I'd hardly call this a slice. It's more like a... slight nick."

"You're bleeding on your shirt," she points out.

"I never liked this shirt." Ava sighs when the woman doesn't laugh.

The woman is still looking at her carefully, like she's going to suddenly snap and lunge at her. She's not going to. Actually, it's the end of a nightmare shift where Vincent has had her rearranging the towels by brand and by color because it was raining and slow and he read an article about things being more aesthetically pleasing when colors were grouped together. So this is the most interesting thing that's happened today. And a good story to tell Mary.

"Ava."

Ava pulls back a little, surprised. "You know my name?"

The woman gestures to her slowly. "It's on your... bloody shirt." Oh. Ava laughs a little. "I want to sincerely apologize for-"

"What's your name?"

The woman blinks. "Beatrice."

"Right. Beatrice. Listen. I know you didn't mean to use that..."

"Carabiner," Beatrice supplies.

"Right, carabiner. I know you didn't mean to use it like a weapon. It wouldn't have even been in my way if I had been paying attention and waited my turn." She smiles and it's definitely charming this time because Beatrice's face smooths out just a little. "So really, it's my fault. And you should probably decontaminate it, by the way. I must have bled on it."

That must not have even occurred to Beatrice. She starts to rifle through the various keys on the clip, checking the front and back of each one. Ava catches sight of a gym membership card clipped between the keys and wonders where Beatrice goes and what she does there and what her back looks like when she's on the rowing machine and-

"No blood," Beatrice says, voice cutting through Ava's deteriorating thoughts. "But I will probably clean them regardless."

Ava looks a little closer at Beatrice. She seems tired, her shoulders dropping throughout their conversation. There are small circles under her eyes, just dark enough to be noticeable in the terrible overhead fluorescent lighting.

"It was my fault," Beatrice insists. "I saw you reaching for it and still turned. I'm usually much more aware of my surroundings and my response to them."

Ava figures arguing with her isn't going to get them anywhere. She's not sure why, but Beatrice seems like the kind of person who is going brood about it for a little while. So she shifts gears. She sucks in her bottom lip, worries it between her teeth, and then says, "Hey, totally not my business, but, uh, when is the last time you've slept?"

And do you want it to be at my place? whispers a voice from within her. She feels the back of her neck flush and immediately quiets that part of herself down.

Beatrice blinks at her. "I'm sorry?"

"You just look, like, exhausted." Ava's finger is starting to throb with a dull ache. "I mean, I don't know you, obviously. But you seem like the kind of person whose pretty quick on their feet. Cat-like reflexes, you know? And you're pretty down on yourself about a silly not-your-fault mistake. Naps totally cure all of that."

Beatrice continues to blink at her, face blank. After a moment, she opens her mouth and closes it again. Ava waits. She can tell there's something Beatrice wants to say and she can be patient. Not with much in her life, but something tells her that Beatrice is the kind of person where patience makes everything better. And she has a plan.

"I don't take naps."

Ava smiles crookedly. Hook, line, sinker. "I kind of figured that. So, what do you say to coffee? Also another way to improve your day."

There's a slight pause as Beatrice seems to consider what she's saying. She waits again, but doesn't need to wait too long this time. "Are you asking me out?"

"I am." Ava looks down at herself. The blood stain is starting to dry. "I'd change my shirt, obviously. I don't do first dates in my HaloGoods shirts. They're not flattering."

Beatrice's cheeks flush again and Ava thinks oh. Maybe they are. "I don't drink coffee."

"We can drink water." Ava shrugs. "Orange juice, whiskey. A milkshake, if you want. Kombucha, wheatgrass juice, Shirley Temples, daq-"

"If I say yes, will you accept that I am to blame?" Beatrice interrupts.

Ava narrows her eyes. "That's unfair. But I'll split the blame with you if you let me buy you a... tea?"

Beatrice smiles a little. "Yes. Tea."

Ava beams. "Perfect. I know a place and I get off in... ten minutes. So I can drive you. Unless you plan to kill me with that carabiner clip?" Beatrice doesn't blush this time and Ava's smile only grows. "Great. Meet me outside?"

She'll have to change her shirt and clean and bandage her hand and she could steal - borrow - some of the perfume from the perfume section but then she'll be good to go on what is definitely going to end up being one of her more interesting first dates. Beatrice is still staring at her, eyes still wide, but Ava only smiles back and winks before twisting neatly on her heel, headed towards the employee break room.

"Meet you outside," she hears belatedly from behind her.

Yeah, definitely the most interesting part of her day.

#warrior nun #avatrice #ava silva #sister beatrice #this is an AU obvs #a meet cute if you will #this got long y'all i am sorry #when do i just calls these actual fics and not tumblr prmpts? the world will never know

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

Someone refresh this fandoms definitions. Anti would be saying jc is the worst character to exist, or cursing him etc not talking about the time he told WWX to put the wens back in the camp LIKE talking about how snape is terrible for bullying kids isnt anti, yes, he was a spy for a good side, yes he also did shitty things. YES jc was once a kid who didn't do the evil his adult self committed, talking about him hitting wwx with zidian knowing it would yeet his soul right out killing him there and then ISNT ANTI when thats something he did? Being critical of something a character did in text DOES NOT mean you're being an anti wtf nor is talking about it was bad actually what he did jiang cheng bashing! if the fandom considers that bashing man they wouldn't have handled actual bashing well at all.

The sad thing is that this definitely reminds me of early FF.net days when it came to the comment section and the in fighting in those being more wild then the actual fics. The excuse there at least that most of the ones doing it were fellow children that were 12.

Ironic thing is that I don't even say he's past redemption and I will reiterate that as I speak here. He just has no need to bother Wei Wuxian and finally is mature enough to leave well enough alone. I do want better for him and think he can achieve that in some capacity, just not in the flowery way many seem to want that to be.

Nor am I personally interested in bothering with breaking that down within the context of the plot text we are given for him. When I bring up the text points, yes, he DOES vile cruel things based in hate for Wei Wuxian, Wen Ning and Lan Wangji. There is no point of the plot were he actually steps up to be better and that in itself is a trope that MXTX utilizes for many of her themes and relationships.

What I like about many of her relationships is that they are not all salvageable. To me that is realistic and cathartic, to be allowed to comfortably be told throughout a story that it is okay to have failed in a relationship and to step aside when it has come to its end after all the nasty words, actions and feelings throughout it. Catharsis is not always happy it just means being able to finally understand how you had gotten to that point and to finally let that other person go. That doesn't mean you aren't allowed to grieve about it, but you can also be relieved without guilt to step away. If that's a sad ending then good, I'm glad you have never had to come to that point in a relationship to realize nothing would ever be the same because you are too different to make it work at the bare minimum.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi

[raayllum]

you don’t have to answer this if its too discoursey but i’m too afraid to say it off anon cause I don’t wanna get yelled at, but I am not the biggest fan of emperor/king Callum fics, mainly since it feels out of character for me (since he feels more connected to magic than he does royalty as a whole, he’s only the crown prince because he & Ez don’t have any family left to take up that role)

and also because to me, as a black person, it feels really weird that it just sidelines Ezran, they always just kill him off for no reason except to put the white person in a position of power

Its okay as a concept, i suppose, say Ezran feels like he can’t bear the responsibility at his age, so Callum takes up the mantle, but it just feels Weird to me, and maybe I’m reaching but it does feel like there’s a hint of racism going on even if its not exactly the author’s intention

So back in like 2020 in the months following S3, Regent Amaya became a popular headcanon in the Janaya corner of the fandom (because they wanted to have to interact Politically with Janai rather than just personally? I don't know) and it never sat right with me for similar reasons. (Cue people complaining in S4 that Janay's plotline was more Janai centric than Amaya centric. Mmhm.)

Because here's the thing (and I've said this before) while Callum is not white (he is mixed, he's half Asian and half white) he is lighter skinned than his brother and I do understand why people think he's white at first glance (more discussion/perspectives on Callum's race in this tag) and Ezran very clearly is not, and it's also very clear how that can affect them sometimes fandom wise. Of the five like main Main characters (although that list is 100% expanding in S4), Ezran is one of two main characters of colour (bonus core protagonist points alongside his brother) and he is the only darker skinned character of colour, comparatively in the trio.

There are other reasons I think as well about why Ezran doesn't have as much fandom made about him (he's the youngest in the cast, most of the fandom is older; he's not part of a main ship, etc) but race absolutely affects a lot of the critique he (and Harrow) get as kings. I have seen people with their full chest go "I hate TDP's monarchy, they're such bad kings Viren was right" because their issue isn't at its core the monarchy, it's that their white fave's bloodline wasn't the one on the throne for once.

Also talking about race is never discoursey IMO so always feel free to drop stuff in my inbox about it. (I'll happily take getting yelled at for it, it's way easier to bear as a white person & it doesn't happen as often as a result.)

Since 2016, we've seen this mini trend of casts having one Black character, usually a boy who's a best friend of the protagonist, get routinely sidelined. Lucas had to carry Stranger Things on his back (although I think it's gotten better? Idk for sure I stopped watching the show after s2 for unrelated reasons), Finn from Star Wars deserved so much better (and I left the SW fandom bc the racism was so bad and he was my favourite after just six months), Bow from She-Ra got virtually nothing, and Gus from The Owl House actually did.

TDP, thankfully, does not fall into that trend (having more than like 1-2 Black characters in general also helps a great deal, JC) and I now no longer watch every season like a hawk to ensure that it won't, because I trust that it won't.

So. King Callum AUs. The first thing is that you're right, Callum isn't that interested in politics. While he has a mind for politics (he immediately realizes what the egg could mean globally) he's not motivated by them. In 1x06 he gets pissed & fed up because Rayla insists on giving him only the political reasonings for why she's travelling with them and not stealing the egg, and it's not enough (he wants the personal reasons). His Tales of Xadia bio reaffirms this, stating outright that he's "beholden to [his] inner circle, not some silly kingdom" in spite of being Crown Prince. I think in some ways if Callum was left alone as King, regent Amaya would be more likely, not less, even if Callum might resist out of a grief fuelled desperate "I have to do this" at first. Being King is genuinely liberating for Ezran in ways it'll just never be for his brother, thematically / personality wise

And Callum being king because Ezran died is, IMO, unnecessary and actually more restrictive for both of their characters. If you want Callum grieving but away from the throne off adventuring with Rayla in an angsty AU, you can just have him think Ez is dead and achieve the same aims. If you want Callum on the throne, you can just have him do it out of love/loyalty for his baby brother. Otherwise, Ezran actually being dead leaves Callum solely grieving and stranded away from magic (his true calling, or the temptation of dark magic). But if Callum becomes regent to try and shield his baby brother, it leaves a lot more for them to grow, disagree on and develop, etc. Just a lot more avenues. How I think this would go (honouring Ezran's role to play and how I think their dynamic would realistically develop with this addition) here.

Being aware of what does or doesn't displace a character can be tricky, but I always think of it in regards to "do you take something another character has earned and give it to another character with little consequence," killing a character off when it wouldn't change that much to keep them alive and just tweak other things (like the above), or "are you taking the challenge one character has set before them and giving it unequivocally to another".

For example I've thought about "is my theory of Callum sacrificing/handing over the Key of Aaravos for Rayla's life displacing him" but it's not, in my eyes, bc 1) all the repercussions that come from that action is still something he has to deal with, 2) he'd have a vested interest and arc in reclaiming the cube, 3) it highlights the tragedy of Callum regaining his agency from brainwashing and still being forced into Aaravos' tragedy, 4) still leaves Callum perfectly free and motivated to uncover the secrets of the key himself beforehand, it just won't end well for him. And if Callum was having big conflicts with Ezran RN, I'd probably swap in Ez as a possibility for who he'd hand the key over for too

Last but not least I do wonder if Callum will even remain his brother's High Mage. The symbolism of a brother on either side of the Border has always felt fitting to me, and I think Claudia would make a great high mage to Ez if/when she gets redeemed / she'll want to stick close to her brother. Now that Callum has Ibis' staff, I wonder if that'll also eventually include having Ibis' post, especially now that Soren has stepped up in S4 to really be Ez's protector (and Cal and Ez would still write letters all the time, of course <3 Ez checking in on him through his link with Zym).

But yeah I think if Callum did continue to be in a political role beyond high mage, he'd be best suited to be one of Ezran's top generals, and that would take its own interesting toll on Ezran's psyche

Anyway this is probs longer than you were expecting but thank you for sharing your perspective! It's something I think the bulk of the fandom has noticed and it's always good to look at areas of like, perhaps more casual than outright racism when it comes to characters of colour, and how we have a responsiblity to examine those areas when exploring things, even just in fanon

#in regards to #bc that's my tag for race things #thanks for asking #anonymous #ezran #tdp broyals #broyals #AU #canon divergence #tdp

[uselessheretic]

theory on stede and sex:

i think stede’s gay (an uncontroversial opinion i assume) but also gay in a way where he did not know that it was possible for him to be attracted to men until someone casually mentioned one day while pirating. he also has two kids though where i know some men can get it up with enough willpower and fantasy, but i do think stede would uhh struggle in that area. 

so in my opinion, stede has an odd relationship to religion where it’s not something he actively believes in but he does feel like he should believe in it. this goes along well (or unwell?) with him feeling a sense of obligation to fulfill his role as the patriarch and sire children. so even though he’s not attracted to mary he feels like he should be, and at the very least need to have sex the bare minimum number of times to get her to pop out two kids and pray one of them is a boy so stede doesn’t disappoint the ghost of his father even more than he already had

and for him to *coughs* consummate his marriage, stede––who is not attracted to women––powers through by reminding himself that this is his role as a man and that he is doing this for god. and stede––who is not attracted to women and is unaware that it’s even possible for himself to be attracted to men––would keep this in mind that this is for god, going so far to even picture jesus in his brain as he works up the courage to fuck his wife. and stede––who is not attracted to women and is not aware that he can be attracted to men and isn’t even that religious but figures if god says so then he gotta fuck––at some point settled in on the specific image of jesus christ on the cross (who died for his sins and if he can sacrifice then so can he!) and it just so happens to be that this specific image of JC himself is the one he remembers from church where jesus is depicted as noteworthily buff (to carry the burden of their sins) and extremely pretty in the face (because why not?)

so basically i think stede––who is not attracted to women and doesn’t realize that he can be attracted to men and isn’t even very devout but has to fuck to keep god happy so he’s doing this for christ for fuck’s sake––was exclusively able to maintain an erection long enough to impregnate his wife twice by getting off to the really hot portrait of twinky jesus christ nailed to the cross from the church he went to as a kid. 

#ofmd #stede bonnet #im... does this count as meta lmao

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Alrighty I finished watching the 2012 Jesus Christ Superstar, the one that people on tumblr like to gif the most

Thats not meant to be an insult btw, honestly this might be my favorite version Ive seen so far overall

I initially had pretty mixed feelings about the actors they got for Jesus and Judas, like, they werent bad but I felt like Judas especially wasnt putting enough emotion into it and their delivery was kinda off at times but then we got the last supper scene and I thought they were great from that point on. Judas was good, I didnt like him as much as 73!Judas but honestly after watching the 2000s movie Im just glad he was portayed in a sympathetic way at the very least. I actually really liked Jesus in this one too, which is pretty surprising because Ive found him pretty unlikable in the previous versions and also Ive been translating the german versions of these songs which made me realize that a lot of that unlikability is kinda baked into the script as well. Usually I tend to dislike Jesus for about half the show until it gets to that bit after the last supper where everyones sleeping and hes looking around like "wont anyone be with me now 🥺" and Im like, aw thats just a sad little man, a lost littol guy, I cant dislike him when hes like that

I really liked the way they modernized this story here, it felt a lot less anachronistic and like there was a more cohesive vision behind it. While I usually like anachronistic settings and think itd be especially fitting for JCS, I felt like the execution was kinda lacking in the previous version and Im glad the 2012 version basically just went full Modern AU with it

Pretty much everything else I have to say applies to either the costuming or specifoc songs/scenes so in the interest of having a better structure than I had in my previous review-post-things I think Im just gonna talk about costuming and then each song in chronological order. Also I will be comparing this version both the 73 and the 2000s movie because thats how I do things babeyyyy whyd you think my review of the 2000s movie was so much longer and more articulated its because I do better when Im comparing two things

Costuming

Right off the bat, I dont think this technically has anything to do with the costuming, this would probably fall under casting actually, but Im so glad Jesus was brunette in this because him being blonde in the previous two versions was weirdly upsetting to me. Like, obviously he usually gets whitewashed in popular media and thats gross and almost definitely inaccurate but because it happens so frequently and has been happening for such a long time I barely even register it beyond maybe going "hm. thats wrong" at the very start whenever they show Jesus as the whitest guy on earth in anything, but I usually see him portrayed as brunette at the very least so seeing him get portrayed as blonde on top of the whitewashing was just too much man. Also he looks like Lin Manuel Miranda but Im like 90% sure thats not him

I like that they modernized Jesus' clothes for this as well because in the 2000s movie he wore a white tanktop and like, jeans probably in the very first scene but in every other scene hes wearing these long flowing white robes, so I like that they put him in a normal white shirt (and black jeans) even though it doesnt really have that same vibe of divine purity if its not a long flowing robe or a dress. Like, he literally just looks like the most normal guy ever wearing that and I really like that tbh

He also wore a brown scarf a few times and I kinda wish it was red instead because I did some research and found out that hes pretty heavily associated with that color. I mean, I also found out that a whole bunch of figures in the bible are associated with red, like if someone tried to quiz you on this you could probably get 50% of the answer if you just said red everytime, but still.

Speaking of red, I think I said at some point that Judas not wearing red irked me, and it still does just to be clear, but Ive thought about it a little and I actually quite appreciate the thought that went into the color coding here, for lack of a better term.

Like, instead of red being Judas' and Marys color like in the previous films (i dont actually remember what color Mary wore in the 70s movie but im going with it anyway) its essentially the color that the antagonists or people who are in some way against Jesus but who werent really directly involved in his death. Herod is probably the most obvious example, hes completely decked out in red but Simon is also wearing it and hes characterized as someone coopting this message of Love and Acceptance and whatnot in order to spread hate, Im pretty sure Peter also wears it and he ends up denying Jesus.

And then sortof complementary to that we have black as the color of people who were more directly involved in Jesus' death, like Caiaphas and his guys, Pilates and of course Judas. The crowd that gathers and calls for Jesus' crucifixion at the end is also wearing black so could see them partaking in his death as well

And then we obviously have white for Jesus and Mary as basically his closest follower who seems to understand him the most and also probably embodies his message of acceptance the best. Judas also has a white scarf to still tie him to him visually even though he does end up betraying him which I find neat

The fact that he didnt get to wear white for the last song again is crime honestly, cmon man do it for the visual cohesion if nothing else. They threw in a few singers who were also wearing black so Judas wouldnt be the only guy in black surrounded by a bunch of angels in white but ehhhhh, it only kinda works imo. I mean atleast its not as messy and thematically confusing as whatever they tried to do at the end of the 2000s version but still, just let my guy wear white

Also, before I move on I wanted to compliment the sets, or stage, since it was mostly just a pretty empty stage with few props and just a really big screen. I think they utilized the screen really well, just consistently having that illusion of The Media there really helped modernize this musical. I also liked the portayal of Jesus n gangs hideout as this little encampment and the implication that they had the last supper in basically their home. Idk what its like in the bible but from both of the other versions i watched I got the impression that they had the last supper somewhere else and while that didnt bother me at all, i think theres something nice about it being more mundane

Thats pretty much it I think, now its Song Time babey

Overture(/Prologue?)

I paused within like the first 40 seconds and wrote a post because they just immediately hit you with fictional news reports about protests and police brutality and then they just keep going for like 3 minutes and Im just sitting there, mouth agape because its like. first of all, these made-up news reports were so similar to ones that Ive seen throughout the summer of 2020 when the George Floyd and related protests were happening that I had to do a double take and make sure that yes, this is from 2012 and literally nothing has changed. Alternatively, they were actively trying to portray an unrealistically horrifically tyrannical government police state only for the creators visions of a horrible dystopia coming true only 8 years after. I dont know which one is more upsetting and Id rather not think about it too much and find out

Second of all, Andrew Lloyd Webbers musicals tend to be pretty safe, like theyre known to be more spectacle and melodrama than substance, atleast the ones that Im familiar with and while I certainly wouldnt call this musical subtle or even particularly profound, I really wasnt expecting something this politically charged within the first minute. And just to be clear, Im not saying that JCS is bad because its not that subtle or profound, I really love this musical and think its really good it just isnt those qualities and thats fine

Heaven on Their Minds

I dont have a lot to say here, Judas is pretty weak. His voice lacks emotion and because of that it feels more like a pop-cover than a musical theater song and I wasnt a fan. His actual singing voice is good and he definitely gets better as the musical goes on but this was quite disappointing after that overture

Also, the camera was obviously focusing more on Judas at this point but Im pretty sure I saw Jesus and Simon having some kind of argument while his followers are all surrounding him and Judas is singing, I thought that was a neat detail

What's the Buzz/Strange Thing, Mystifying

Im gonna be real with you, saying those two songs are part of the same one doesnt seem right to me but thats what Genius and youtube do and I dont think I really have too much to say about Whats the Buzz on its own so yeah

Honestly, I feel like Whats the Buzz is just gonna make Jesus seem kinda weird and unlikable regardless of who plays him, the good thing about this version is hes not musically moaning and going "ohhhhhhhh~ Mary thats so nice~~" like he is in the german 70s version which i forced myself to listen to approximately 600 times

I have the same criticism of Judas as I did in the previous song, not enough emotion. Jesus isnt great here either, I feel like neither version after the 73 one really managed to capture his anger at his followers the same way, the delivery has been weaker and not as impactful and snappy in the 2000s and 2012 versions.

And I just wanted to say again that I like the setup of their hideout being a bunch of these little tents, I think its really fitting

Everything's Alright

Jesus and Judas are still not giving me enough and its just gonna be like this until the last supper I guess

I really like Mary's voice, theres something soft and kinda vulnerable about it and its nice to listen to

This Jesus Must Die

Musically this is probably my favorite song because of course it is, its the villain song

I like that in this production Caiaphas seemed to really struggle to reach that low tone lol. Like, he sounded great but his face looked like he was struggling, thats about as well as I can describe it. I also liked Annas, he seemed so smug and obnoxious and I liked his leitmotiv-melody-thingy that he would sing its very catchy

I really appreciated that white-grayish lighting, it reminded me of like sterile office building lighting and contrasts nicely with the more yellowish-golden lighting they had for Hosanna. They didnt do anything as crazy or evocative as the 2000s film but Im also not sure how feasible doing something like that on a live stage would be so whatever, I still enjoyed it and thought it looked really good

Hosanna

This might be my favorite song in terms of how they adapted it for this modern AU-thing. I love that Jesus seems a lot more involved in this which makes sense since its been reframed as a protest whereas Im pretty sure it was originally something closer to a parade or something similar. I like that hes singing along to the "Hosanna, heysanna" parts, I dont think he did that in the other versions and it makes him seem less detached and above-it-all which definetly makes him a lot more sympathetic in my eyes

I absolutely adore the way Jesus' verse is framed with him like, looking into a camera with his followers huddled around him idk I think its nice. Speaking of framing and stuff, I havent mentioned the camera work at all yet and its really good for the most part, I do have some complaints but they dont apply to this song so I shant mention them right now

Really the only negative thing I have to say is that usually when the crowd sings "Hey JC, JC, wont you die for me" they cut to Jesus horrified/weirded out reaction and I think its a real highlight but I dont think they directed him to make any kind of facial expression at that part or maybe the actor forgot, so that was a little disappointing ngl. Speaking of that verse, I have Genius open rn so I know which order the songs are in and apparently that verse/line wasnt originally in the song??? Bro thats such a good and simple line how did you not come up with that right away. I mean, better late than never but still

Simon Zelotes/Poor Jerusalem

Again, I dont really think these two songs make that much sense as a package deal but who am I to disagree with genius dot com

I really enjoy the contrast between the two songs and I think they did a great job highlighting it even further via the lighting, with the stage being bathed in this red light during Simon Zelotes and the lights changing to deep blue for Poor Jerusalem. The staging and choregraphy were also great, I like that Jesus is mostly down at the front of the stage during Simon Zelotes with his followers being sort of scattered behind him as they were doing this high energy group dance number while hes up at the back of the stage during Poor Jerusalem with his followers almost huddled together in front of him, it highlights that emotional dissonance between Jesus and his followers really well

I actually liked Jesus performance too, I think the actor did a good job conveying his discomfort and at this point I felt like he was a lot better at projecting quiet vulnerability than loud anger or anguish at this point

Pilate's Dream

I dont really have anything to say here, the song isnt great but its short so its like, fine whatever.

The main thing I have to say here is that I did not Get Pilate at all the past two times I watched this but at the end of this song he puts on a powdered wig and I went "ohhhhhhh hes like a judge" and that made me finally kinda understand what his deal is somehow. Idk man Im a little stupid sometimes

The Temple

I think the first half of this song is fine, but I definitely prefer both of the other versions. I feel like having the people at the temple crowd around a camera as theyre singing about all the sinful shit theyre offering just makes for more effective framing and does a better job at putting you in Jesus' shoes and making you feel uncomfortable

Im not a fan of those weird moving neon shapes they show on the screen during this bit. At the very start of this scene they have this colorful neon text saying stuff like SEX and NUDES and honestly, I think they shouldve had that for the entire song. Like, I get why they might not want to have a whole scene with the word SEX flashing in the background in bold neon letters but it wouldve fit more and been less weird than abstract moving lines. I also dont think they shouldve had any of the 'sinners' wear white just to make Jesus stand out a bit more, but thats a nitpick.

I absolutely ADORE the second half with the beggars though. I mentioned before that I have this fascination with portrayals non-consentual non-sexual touch and this scene, in all three versions Ive watched, really manages to tap into that in a way thats pretty personal and hard to describe. This scene in this version is probably my favorite but Im not sure I can properly describe why. It just feels so intense, the way everyones grabbing onto him and practically lifting him off the ground like some uncomfortable perversion of crowd surfing, I love that

I also like the detail at the start of the song where Judas picks a fight with the bodyguard guy while Jesus goes inside

Everything's Alright (Reprise)/I Don't Know How To Love Him

These two songs arent actually lumped together like some of the other ones, but i have nothing to say about the reprise on its own and its really short so

I really like I Don't Know How To Love Him because its the song that made me realize that Jesus being the son of god is actually pretty ambiguous in this musical which makes this story way better and more interesting imo. Like, I rewatched Jenny Nicholsons video on easter plays after watching the 70s movie and i realized that the focus on Jesus as the literal son of god and his resurrection actually takes away a lot of the impact this story could have as yknow, a story, when its being told by people who are actually christian. And Im not religious myself but I get why that is, for a christian audience the resurrection is the most important part because its essentially proof of Jesus being the son of god rather than 'just' a prophet and/or important spiritual leader, which is kind of the basis of the entire religion. I also feel like theres a tendency in media made by christians about Jesus (or Jesus-stand ins) to avoid portraying any flaws in its main character because thats your god, and you wouldnt wanna portray that guy in a bad light and while I understand that too, it makes for a far less interesting story for non-christian audiences

I dont really know where I was going with this ngl, in conclusion; the reason I enjoyed this play about Jesus Christ so much is probably that it wasnt made by christians

Also Im going back to this after being done writing the post, I dont like that they made Mary ungoth herself on stage like cmon man, let my gal be goth. The only good thing about that was that Mary has muscles and I liked looking at them now that the jacket wasnt in the way

Damned for All Time/Blood Money

Finally a package deal song that actually works as one

Im gonna honest, while I think this song is good I dont really. understand it? Even after watching three versions of this musical and looking at some of the genius annotations. I understand that Judas is feeling guilty about the betrayal and trying to justify himself (although thats only after reading the annotations lol I feel like the lyrics are really weird and contradictory ngl), I dont really get why hes betraying him? Like yeah, he doesnt like what Jesus is doing now and is afraid that he's putting himself and other jewish people in danger but on an emotional level I dont really get why he thought betraying him would be the best course of action. Maybe because he came to realize that he cant get Jesus off the path hes on but idk, that wouldve been nice to actually see that onstage

But enough about that, lets move on to the things I really liked. For example they added this small bit where Judas is walking over to Caiaphas and his guys and you can see him walk into their office building or whatever through the security cameras, I thought that was a really neat detail.

I also like the way Judas sings the very last line about the gardens of Gethsemane, his delivery was really good

The Last Supper

I already mentioned this a few times earlier but I thought Jesus' and Judas' performances were fine for the most part, they just lacked emotion and felt more like flat radio covers because of it, but this is the song where they get really good and even stay really good. Thats not. great. But you know what they say, better late than never

I also liked Judas like, poking Jesus basically when hes yelling at him and I liked Jesus shoving him. Maybe its just me but I feel like the physical contact is way more intense in this version, for lack of a better term, and Im a big fan of that I think that rules, I love watching guys touch each other

I also mentioned earlier that I like how the last supper is just happening at their camp because it makes it feel more mundane and the other non-apostle ensamble members still being there in the background really adds to that vibe as well. I also feel like it made everyone going to sleep after the supper make more sense. Like, in the previous two versions I thought it was kinda weird that they all just fell asleep at the table after that big dramatic shouting match and Jesus predictions but in this one it reads more like the apostles are all going "okay. i think i need to leave." and just crawling into their tents bc what else are they supposed to do

Another thing I liked was that Jesus was like, kinda freaking out and lashing out in this scene. Idk the way Ive been taught about these events made it seem like Jesus just calmly explained this shit to his guys at dinner because he knew gods plan or whatever, so I appreciated this more dramatic and more human version

Gethsemane

oughhhhhhh this song is really good but I dont have a lot to say about it because its mainly an emotional ballad where Jesus is just kinda standing there singing while engulfed in blue light and I already talked about how I like that the existence of god is never confirmed in this musical and why i think that makes the story way stronger

I did want to mention this lyric-change I noticed and didnt like. So originally there was this line towards the end of the song that was like "God thy will is hard/Something something card probably" idk the only reason I remembered that line is because when I heard it in the 73 version I immediately went on tumblr to make an untagged 1 note flop of a post that went like this: "Call my penis thy will the way its hard". But in this version the line is "God thy will is done/Take your only son" and I just dont like that

The Arrest

It took me watching this musical thrice to realize that the music for this song is literally just the music for the beggar part of The Temple, eventhough there were some very obvious visual parallels in the 2000s movie on top of the music being the same but hey, Im a little stupid sometimes and also better late than never

Similarly to the temple scene I just dont think its as effective when you dont have the camera surrounded by these people to both put you in Jesus' shoes and to evoke claustrophobia. The reframing of these guys being like news reporters rather than ? disillusioned followers? jewish people who dont agree with him? I think? is really good and makes a lot of sense. I just didnt like that they had those guards holding them all back I think they shouldve gone all out and just fucking grabbed him

Peter's Denial

This is a pretty short qnd unremarkable song and I dont have much to say, I liked both Peter and Mary (Mary has been consistantly really good throughout the entire musical I think i forgot to mention thst until now) and I weirdly enjoyed Peter being so unecessarily hostile towards that old lady

Pilate and Christ

This is the song I keep forgetting about even though its actually really good lmao

I am just baffled by the decision to have Pilate working out in this scene. Thats kind of it honestly, like whyd they do that. whyd they do that huh. Literally the only reason I can think of is like, they wanted to show off how dismissive he is of Jesus but. there are other ways

Anyway I really liked Pilates vocal performance though and I like this actor, he has a very legal-professional kinda face and tone of voice which makes sense if we're interpreting him as some kindof judge guy, great casting

King Herod's Song

I really love this song, its so catchy and fun and ended up liking the talk show setup for this scene more than I anticipated. I think the reason I was kinda wary of how they would approach this scene was because King Herod is 10000% gonna be the guy who gets played by James Corden when they inevitably decide to turn this into a proper movie (again) but since this is 2012 and also a stage production, James Corden is nowhere to be found and this song is still really enjoyable. Theres really nothing to dislike here, I liked the guy who played Herod, I liked the backup dancer women (although I will say that I prefer their outfits from the 2000s), I liked the way they used the screen to further this whole talkshow thing, I liked Jesus being spun around in that chair, its great

My one small complaint is that during that line where hes like "Cmon man, turn my water into wine" hes given this water bottle and then the water turns red and even with the camera focusing on the effect it just kinda looks pathetic, maybe they couldve done something with the screen instead like they did for the "walk across my swimming pool" line but idk

Judas' Death

Man I cant even properly describe how much I love both the song and execution of it, its so wonderfully visceral and tragic and oughhhhhhh

First of all, I adore Judas' performance hes so good here and he does a great job at letting the emotion bleed into his voice and make it sound like hes sobbing without his singing suffering from it like in the 2000s movie. Do I prefer the performance here over the 73 version? Ehhhhh I think Id need to directly compare the scenes before I feel comfortable making a statement about that and I dont feel like doing that right now.

The lighting is pretty simple here, its pretty much just red, but its really atmospheric and helps underscore Judas' anguish and you know me babey, I love watching this guy suffer

I was gonna write something about the suicide being done well before ending this section here but I just remembered something and immediately forgot what I was going to write, so heres the thing I remembered:

When I was watching the 73 movie and Judas committed suicide, I was like mouth-agape shocked, not because it happened suddenly or because it was edited in a particular way but because I didnt know he was going to kill himself. Ive had religious education as a class for the entirety of my school career, the only time we ever actually talked about the easter story in any kind of detail was when I was like 6 years old in the first grade. The teacher told us about all the most basic beats, Jesus had a bunch of buddys he took out to dinner one night, he tells them about how one of them will betray him, Judas betrays him for money, Jesus gets crucified and then Judas lives in disgrace and shame until the end of his days. What she didnt tell us is how those days end and like. I mean i guess she didnt lie did she

And after that the topic of The Easter Story never really came up and also I thought religious education was the most boring and pointless shit on earth so I never bothered looking into any of it at any other point in my life and thats how I managed to avoid spoilers for this 2000 year old story

I was gonna end the section here but I just remembered something else that I wanted to share, I promise this is thematically relevant

A few days after I watched the 2000s film I thought to myself "hey, this is a popular musical that was originally english but since its been around for like 50 years I wonder if theyve since made a german version" so I looked it up, found the german wikipedia page and yes, theres a german version that came out on vinyl in the 70s but its unfortunately missing a song (two if we're counting Then We Are Decided as well but that one was added for the movie and not originally in the musical). Since Im already on wikipedia I decide to just read the entire article and I find out that orthodox christians didnt like the musical because it paints Judas The Traitor in a sympathetic light and I do a bit of a double take because Im like. I thought Judas was generally seen as sympathetic??? Because again, the only time i was ever taught about this story in any detail was when I was 6 in first grade religious education class and I havent really thought about it since. I only vaguely remember that class but Im pretty sure the way my teacher explained the apostles was that they were like Jesus' closest buddies and when I heard that Judas ended up betraying his good friend Jesus I was really sad and felt really sorry for him ? I dont remember my exact emotions or thoughts but it was either "I really love my friends and one of them died I'd be so upset even if it was my fault they died" or "I would never rat my friends out and cause them to be killed for no reason so he mustve had a really good reason we're just not being told about" or a combination of those and then I never paid attention to christianity ever again so I just never changed my thinking

So yeah, youre looking at a lifelong Judas Iscariot apologist Im so glad to finally be reunited with my fellow men in my natural habitat which is the Jesus Christ Superstar Fandom

Trial Before Pilate

Funfact, someone on youtube uploaded the entire JCS german soundtrack and there they called it "Pilate's Interrogation (39 lashes included)" and idk I think thats mildly amusing

I gotta say this is definitely a little bit disappointing after the 2000s version which had that absolutely mental illness inducing (affectionate) part where every time hes meant to get whipped one of the people in the crowd runs up to him and strikes him and leaves a bunch of blood on his body until hes all wet n grimy from it. Its alright but idk it feels a bit less intense physically and Im not just talking about the lashings, Im also talking about Pilates coming down to Jesus at the very end and being like "Im holding your life in my hands". I dont remember what the 2000s movie did here but I know in the 70s movie hes actually cradling him in his arms and it makes this bit hit way harder, but in this version hes just kinda kneeling next to him like hes the gym teacher and Jesus is the unathletic kid who just somehow sprinted like 50 meters in order to not come in last for the race around the local playground theyre doing for PE and embarass himself in front of the class and is laying on the ground panting afterwars and feels like hes going to die.

While I dont think its as effective as it could be, those faceless silhoutte people standing outside that fence arguing with Pilate are decently menacing and Ive already talked about black as the color of the people involved in Jesus death and how you could see this as The Masses or The Public or whatever also being complicit in his death in some way. Also I think I remember seeing some red garments in that crowd as well which I also appreciate

Also, the makeup for his bloody back was really good

Superstar

Ive said it before I'll say it again, why wont they let my guy wear white for this part? Was that the tradeoff for having him look all cool as he descends down with the stagelights? Is this their attempt to placate those christians who disliked Judas being sympathetic so much they banned the musical in Belarus?

Anyway, I enjoyed it well enough despite that and I think it executed the concept of Jesus carrying his cross being filmed and broadcasted a lot better than the 2000s movie, simply by not having the guys doing the filming be Judas' guys and having them as well as the angels. That being said, the way this was filmed or the way this was cut together or maybe it was a combination of both, just made this really confusing and disorienting to watch. The camerawork is really good for most of this production so I have absolutely no idea whats going on here but its kinda bad ngl. And whenever there was a wideshot you could see that Judas and the angels were dancing and taking up most of the stage and then on the left corner there was Jesus and the people filming him all huddled together and I honestly cant imagine it looking that great on stage either but I guess I wasnt there so I may never know for sure

The Crucifixion

I cant adequately describe what I felt when I realized they were going to crucify him on the lighting fixture so I'll just say I think its sick as hell and move on

This is less of a song and more of a short monologue but I still felt like I had to talk about it because the actor who plays Jesus is absolutely amazing, I was a bit worried if he could pull this off at the start because he was kinda weak there, but he crushed it. I was also a bit worried that he wouldnt be all wet with blood since he already got lashed and was pretty dry at that point but then he bleed a bunch from his head wounds from the crown of thorns and I was satisfied. And the modern crown of thorns was a crown of barbed wire I love that

Thats it I think its about to be midnight and I spent like 2 days writing this and my head is just mush. Sorry if the last few segments seemed a bit disorganized, my head is just mush. I actually had a few more thoughts I was gonna put in this conclusion-thingy but my head is just mush so I'll just say this gets an 8/10 from me. I gave both of the previous versions a solid 7/10 because while I still thoroughly enjoyed them in their weird quirks and think theyre kind of charming in their occasional bouts of kinda bizarre shit on top of being good, this one felt more competent and like it had a stronger vision behind it. Thats it, thank you for reading my very long post

#jesus christ superstar

[tertiaryunit]

TW: Portrayal of a toxic relationship and some “explicit” descriptions (courtesy of Wally’s vivid imagination).

This turned out much longer than what was planned. I decided to focus more on the characters’ feelings as this is essentially the “chapter” before a more action-oriented one (when Lawrence actually goes to arrest Paul at the ‘Ton). Let’s call this an “extra” that may or may not be cut if the story is ever posted on AO3.

/ ----------------------- / 

[Manhattan, Walton Simons’ penthouse. 21:27 March 2052]

Things weren’t going as the MJ12 had planned: first they had to activate Paul Denton’s killswitch and now his little brother’s too. Loose cannons, the both of them.

“Another fifty-billion dollars down the drain”

Walton grunted to himself. Lawrence walked into the living room holding a tray with a fuming teapot, a sugar bowl, a cup and a bunch of biscuits on it.  “If only Manderley listened to you, Sir. His insistence to keep a liability like Paul only proved you right” A month ago, when the Majestic 12 started worrying about Paul’s influence on JC, the FEMA Director ordered his personal assistant to befriend and stalk the younger Denton sibling. Lawrence was the son of JC’s childhood hero and both the youths were in the same age range (with only two years of difference), he was the perfect choice to get all close and personal with him. This way, Carter Jr. would have been able to analyze his target and then refer everything to his beloved superior so that he could have decided their next moves.

In short, he was being asked to do the good old double-crossing. Nothing new for either the Psychic nor the Director. Except for one little detail that did not go unnoticed by the latter. 

“Sir, if I may...” Simons didn’t answer, which meant a silent agreement to the “if I may”. “... I feel something is bothering you. As in, other than the current situation with the Denton siblings. I would love to help with whatever is ailing you, Sir” “So you can read minds now or what, Agent?” “No, Sir. I think it’s just empathy. I can tell when the man I love isn’t feeling great” “I have seen you hang out with that JC, boy. For longer than what your mission requires. It... Bothered me”

Lawrence put the tray with the tea and biscuits down on the table next to the armchair his superior was on; he seemed incredibly saddened by that statement, even if he didn’t say a word. The Director felt a fit of hate for himself once he realized what was bothering him so much: jealousy.  That was an emotion fit for weaker-minded individuals, not for a man with his power and status.

“Sir, I just want to be sure the younger Denton sibling completely trusts me. I don’t like to leave a job half-done” “I have never seen you so interested in someone before. That’s all” Walton felt the impulse to pin him against the wall or floor and ask him “do you feel something for that JC?”. He imagined himself pinning the Psychic down on the couch like he did that night almost six years ago. To remind him to who he belonged. For some reason, he remembered a song Lawrence would occasionally sing to himself:

[Oh, I am Death, and none can tell If I open the door to Heaven or Hell No wealth, no land, no silver, not gold Nothing satisfies me but your soul I'm Death, I come to take the soul Leave the body and leave it cold] To their enemies, he brought a swift end - to him, la petite mort.  And over the years, despite what he did to him, Lawrence loved him to the point of blind worship: he never disobeyed to his orders nor talked behind his back, never lost his composure in front of his colleagues’ malicious gossip on how he managed to occupy the position he did among the Majestic 12.   Without the Psychic, he felt empty - and with him, even Hell felt like Paradise. So maybe he *did* take his soul, after all. 

Lawrence kneeled before the Director, who let his factotum take his hand. He held it like the most precious of gifts and kissed it with the devotion of a believer towards a Saint. 

“If you want me to be a villain, I’ll be a villain” - Lawrence’s tone was firm and resolute - “It doesn’t matter against who, Sir”    Walton pulled his half-clone close by the tie - Lawrence was basically forced to stand up and then sit on his lap facing him. The Director’s voice was a whisper but still perfectly audible as they were so close the tip of their noses touched. 

“Paul Denton must be in our hands by tomorrow night. I have no doubt his NSF friends will be protecting him... Kill them all, if you need to”

Their eyes were locked together, as if in a trance - one saw the object of his deepest love, the other a lethal weapon that somehow seduced him with more than the idea of power. 

“If they resist, I promise you, Sir... All that will remain of them is ashes”  

The painful, familiar mixture of guilt and pleasure took hold of the Director, who found himself dangerously close to brushing the young man’s lips with his own. His other hand had already slipped under the Psychic’s elegant black tux, on the white button-up shirt stretched by the muscles below. 

“Trust me, Sir. There’s nothing I want more than to make your wishes come true. No other man I desire to serve”

Lawrence’s adoring eyes wandered below for a split second which made Simons very self-conscious about his body’s reaction. The young man didn’t say a word - his resigned smile alone told him everything he needed to know about his undying loyalty. 

Before he could ask the Psychic to “make his wishes come true”, Walton snapped back to his senses - his heart rate was as fast as his breathing. The hand clenched on the young man’s tie took a few seconds before letting him go and, once the Agent got up, the Director immediately crossed his legs.  [In his mind, the old man saw Lawrence’s lips curved with a malicious smirk, his eyes fixed on the area he was so desperately trying to hide. He saw himself powerless to stop him from sitting back on his lap, teasing him... ]

“You... You need to prepare for tomorrow night”  [The thoughts were getting worse. He felt nauseous when he heard himself beg the Lawrence in his mind to kiss him again; that man was like the fire he could generate, he was as intoxicating as carbon monoxide and just as deadly] He counted his blessings that his half-clone couldn’t read minds. “I think it’s better if you rest for now. I don’t want you to be tired or distracted, Lawrence”

He wanted to say “I don’t want anything bad happen to you” but that would have been one of the most hypocritical sentences to come out of his mouth considering the past seven years of using and abusing him in multiple ways. 

Lawrence’s smile brightened upon hearing the Director call him by his name (instead of the usual “boy”). ”I think I’ll take a bath, Sir. Would you like me to wait for you?” That smile almost made him say yes.

”I need to unwind alone right now, Agent. Maybe I’ll take a cold shower after you’re done” The Psychic politely bowed to him (”Goodnight, Sir. Please call me if you need anything”) and walked off to the bathroom. It was hard for Walton to think of him as the man who could easily destroy buildings and who could set the sky on fire with his mind - as the weapon Page built. Visions of his half-clone wearing his Power Armor flashed before his eyes, enveloped in a cocoon of flames in the shape of an enormous phoenix, flying over the skies of Washington D.C. By now, he knew Lawrence was more than a weapon - for him, at least. It was just more comfortable to believe the contrary.

__________________________________ NOTES.

The song is “O Death”, this version specifically is from Until Dawn which featured a character who was voiced/played by Lawrence’s faceclaim himself. ;)

(This gif is from “The Pacific” where he played Snafu Shelton though)

La petite mort = “the little death”. It’s... Literally a metaphor for sexual release (Wikipedia link about the expression). I think the duality of the term is fitting for both of them.  

I don’t think portraying Walton as completely uncaring would be accurate - my interpretation of him is that of a man who isolated himself from others to not be hurt (physically/emotionally) and, as such, has bottled up feelings he thought were long-gone. He strikes me as the type of person who looks cold form the outside but feels, uh, “strongly” inside. Especially when he started realizing he felt something for the most inconvenient person for him to be attracted to.

If it can help, part of my characterization for him comes from Notre Dame de Paris’ Claude Frollo. The one from the original book, not the animated movie. Link is to TVTropes’ character page.  Except that Lawrence actually loves him, it’s not unrequited love - Walton’s just an abuser who loses his mind over the feelings he always considered to be “weakness”. Imposing himself is the way he sees fit to regain control. And also knowing deep down that Lawrence is developing feelings for JC because he actually treats him like a decent human being. 

Walton’s “thoughts” being an example on how he’s so determined to find malice in anything Lawrence does, or is perceived doing. So it’s a “not really my fault it’s him tempting me” situation because of course he victim blames.

#The Demiurge [Walton Simons] #The Crusader [Lawrence Carter] #My Writing #if this doesn't paint Walton for the slimy victim blaming bastard he is i dont know what will besides the chapter in which he actually does #THAT thing to Lawrence

[llycaons]

ep15 (part 2): fucked up!!!! fucked up!!!

Zhang Jing Tong (myu actress) did SUCH a great job with the expressions. you can see the instant she realizes that lp is going to be some kind of office under the wen sects rather than retaining their autonomy, and you can see exactly how she feels about it. this is the breaking point. not being forced to remove the hand of their top disciple, but being forced to give over authority of their home

the FUNNIEST possible thing to say to a famously ferociously angry woman who's about to fucking snap

cql passes the bechdel test, everyone 👍

this line is like one of the top lines in the show. it says so much about how she views wwx and their dynamic. 'she just wanted to push him to his full potential' my ASS. this is all about her prestige and her power

I always feel a little guilty for cheering her on when she's being so classist and elitist. a weird thing the show does. also at the end with lxc slapping jgy. with a protag like wwx, you're still going to lean into sect hierarchies like that?

all this to say. this is a very satisfying scene to watch unforch

the way wwx is STUNNED by j&y taking out the wens. he was so sure he'd lose a hand

IN THROUGH THE WINDOW COMES WZL

finding out a not-insignificant subsection of the fanbase shipped them was wild to me. this is their only interaction before they fight to the death

maybe bc of the donghua? I don't remember the donghua too well. their myu was neat tho

politest guy about to commit atrocities ever

oh my god the flare is in the wen clan seal pattern. if I saw this in a fic I'd roll my eyes but canon is already just. like that

fucked up!!!! she never hugs him and them she does this!! fucked up!!

she hates him and told him to his face that if he had to die for jc he better do it but of course she was doing this all to unleash his inner potential. fucked up!!!

a line from the book I remember so clearly is how powerless wwx and jc felt when fleeing the massacre...I think this shot conveys that really well

jc struggling and hurting wwx but wwx doesn't say anything bc of course he doesn't and jc doesn't notice bc of course he's not focused on that! ough!

IS SHE CRYING??!!! FUCK!!!!

hey why didn't jfm leave like. two disciples with his kids. seems irresponsible to bring them all back to die

also wild how wwx's special position means he wasn't sent back to die with them bc he def would have died back there. sob

WHY DIDN'T THEY DO THAT. ITS A WHOLE SECT. THEY COULD HAVE SHELTERED THEM

they are such babies oh my god

this line just haunts me. CHILDREN

gently patting jc and jyl's cheeks and then telling them not to cry and it'll be alright...

and then just telling his other semi-adopted child who is BLEEDING from the mouth 'take care of them!' god his favoritism couldn't have held out just a little more? wwx is clearly just as traumatized as the other two and HERE is where jfm suddenly decides his bio kids are more worth comforting

SOMETHING ABOUT! loved ones leaving them forever on boats, gliding away to their deaths...jyl has that dream about wwx too, doesn't she? she watches him float away and she cant catch up to him no matter how hard she tries. hell.

#cql re-rewatch

[missnight0wl]

I recently finished the chapter with Burke and MC's confrontation and it's so odd in a way that makes me think. 🤔

Healer Burke: If you... if you'd only try to understand. MC: Understand what? What are you talking about? Healer Burke: Understand 'R'. You'd see what we're trying to do, and you'd come home to us.

What did he mean by 'come home to us'? Why specitically make it italic and not bold?

We find out MC's father is a part of R later, but quotes make it clear he wasn't active in MC's upbringing. Memories are far and few between. So if Burke is trying to say Peregrine is MC's 'home', well, that's just not correct based on what we are told.

But what if, once upon a time, it was the case?

This is where this becomes a cross of fiction and speculation:

Both of MC's parents were in R. Peregrine wasn't the leader yet, but still a high-ranking member. Both MC and Jacob were born into R, and grew up within its headquarters, among its members. At some point, the leadership noticed the kids' immense power and decided to groom them into becoming the future leaders. MC was especially favoured because they were the stronger of two.

MC's mother, by that point, had grown jaded to the group's goals, but them trying to use her children and Peregrine letting them was the last straw. Around this time, the First Wizarding War was in full swing, so she took advantage of the chaos to take her children and run away, deciding to raise them in utter secrecy (thus explaining the strict rules MC talked about and why they were ignorant of many daily aspects of wizard life).

She decided to erase some parts of MC's memories since they were young enough that their mind was more mallable (they would be : she created the currect narrative of memories MC talks to Peregrine about. Jacob was too old for his memories to be tampered with safely, but he agreed to keeping their past a secret from MC.

At this point, I don't know how to continue because of Jacob's character.

His pre-appearance history makes me think he was completely blackmailed into helping R and at some point, they kidnapped him and replaced him with Fauxcob.

His post-appearance history makes me think he was a willing accomplice from the start and he is working with Peregrine to lure MC into their folds, however successful their efforts are.

Anyway, this is what I imagine Healer Burke to mean. That once upon a time, R was MC's home, their family, and they should realize it and come back to them. If only they would stop and think why they are so adamant on trying to lure MC toward them willingly, when they could have kidnapped and brainwashed them from the start! Why they are being treated so gently and preciously (by their scales) compared to the horrors they could have been subjected to! But MC is adamant on not using their braincells, much to their despair.

This is a very interesting idea and I really like it. I do have some remarks, but I definitely feel you might be onto something.

Alright, so, first and foremost, I believe that Burke meant rather a metaphorical home. I actually discussed this scene in the past, for example here (much shorter version) or here (much longer version). And while I still think that it’d make more sense if Burke didn’t belong to R but to a different group, I assume it is all about the siblings’ connection to the Cursed Vaults.

(Also, just to be clear: I don’t hope that JC will explain the Cursed Vaults properly, but I imagine they’re still taking from the original source.)

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to dismiss your idea entirely. In fact, I think your proposition could totally coexist with my take on it. But I do believe that this connection has to be included. I mean, it’d make a lot of sense from the storytelling point of view, in my opinion. And on top of that, we actually have some clues for this claim within the game. The Vault of Fear showed it the best, probably. Like, notice that MC entered the vault with their companions, yet it was just them who was influenced by the boss Boggart.

Why? Maybe because the vault recognised that MC is the only one who matters. Then, there’s also Snape’s mysterious line from the scene before we learnt about our Legilimency:

Of course, Rakepick might’ve chosen them simply because they’re both born Legilimenses, but I don’t know… I always felt there’s more to that.

Moreover, if there is indeed some magical aspect to all of that (like a prophecy or something), it’d explain nicely why R insists that MC will be their leader, and Verucca even straight up talks about “destiny”:

Another thing: I mentioned in one of my fairly recent posts  a possibility that Peregrine chose the Mother based on a prophecy or something like that. And we learnt in Y7Ch43 that he was apparently always interested in legends and whatnot:

So… who’s to say that that’s not how he discovered the Mother and her lineage? That he chose her indeed because of that? And maybe then, he convinced her that they both should join R? Of course, she wouldn’t know what’s really going on at first. The rest could go pretty much as you described it.

Honestly, I was never too bothered by the Mother being strict with magic outside the school etc. Because technically, it is not allowed, and I actually can imagine people like Percy Weasley, for example, being serious about it. I also read once the suggestion that the siblings might simply live in a Muggle neighbourhood, so being strict about not using magic would be pretty understandable here. But if it was actually about hiding, and from someone from the wizarding world… I could totally get behind this idea.

By the way, I just had a very random thought, which is not really related to all of this, but also kinda is, so I can’t ignore it now: what if the Mother is unable to use magic for some reason? At first, I wanted to say that she might be a Squib, but it wouldn’t work because Peregrine revealed that she was in the same House as him. But what if there was some kind of an accident later on? Possibly involving Peregrine and/or R? 

Why I’m thinking about it? Because it could be an additional explanation for her strict rules. I mean, if Jacob or MC destroyed something and they wouldn’t be able to repair it yet (because they’re still children), that’s it: they have a broken thing. She would be restricted in helping them if they were in a dangerous situation related to magic. It could even give more meaning to her decision of leaving MC at Hogwarts, even though she was worried that they might end up missing like Jacob. She knew that her children are potentially very powerful, and she knew that she literally couldn’t teach them to control their power at home. As I said, it’s a spontaneous idea, but I think it’s quite interesting.

Finally, let’s address MC’s memories. I think it’s possible that the Mother modified MC’s memory, however, I don’t think she created memories of Peregrine we see recently. I suspect that it’s Peregrine who’s actively filling those blank spaces.

All of it happens in one scene. I don’t know… Maybe JC repeated these lines simply to fill the screen time. Or maybe it’s not a coincidence at all.

ANYWAY… Yeah. It kind of starts to add up, or at least it could if you put some thought into it. However, I just don’t feel that R in general would be this sentimental about it to talk about “home”. I suppose it’s more about destiny and whatnot. That being said, some members might view it in a more… romanticised way? And Burke might be one of them.

#long post #hogwarts mystery #hphm #hphm spoilers #hphm mc #hphm jacob #jacob's family #hphm peregrine #hphm r #eustace burke #verucca buckthorn #theory #hphm theory #ask #anonymous

[leatherbookmark]

more bitching about one and the same thing aka Everyone Is Wrong About A-Yao (but me, of course)

there’s this fanon idea of jgy as someone who’d flaunt his luxurious possessions (either dressing in flashy, visibly expensive clothes in modern aus or parading his boyfriend around), who’d feel possessive and territorial, and it rubs me the wrong way (like honestly everything about fanon jgy). not only because this isn’t a behaviour he’s ever shown in the novel -- if anything, he spoils people dear to him, but that’s a different thing -- but also because he simply doesn’t do that in general. sure, he’s had nothing both financially and security-wise for the first ~20 years of his life, but he’s Never did the thing where you suddenly have money and go crazy with it.

like he isn’t just poor and naive, he knows that even if you Do get something, others can easily take it away from you. when nmj defends and promotes him on the spot, is he happy? proud? flaunting his sect leader’s support? no, if anything he only gets more anxious, because he clearly sees that nmj’s clueless way of defending him will only get the other disciples to hate him more. if he spends money later on, it’s to spoil the people he loves (jl and his 400 fancy hunting nets, fairy) or builds the watchtowers.

another thing is that even if he was possessive and prone to bragging, considering he used to be poor, it shouldn’t be anything like... shocking or out of the ordinary. if you had nothing to call truly yours, and all your clothes were flimsy and low quality, wouldn’t you splurge on some proper, sturdy stuff as soon as you had the means to? wouldn’t you be attached to the first thing you bought with your new money, as a symbol of your new life and possibilities? but for some reason, the way fanon!jgy’s possessive tendencies are framed is more focused on the way it makes him twisted, greedy. a petty bitch flaunting her tall, handsome and rich boyfriend.

and it’s just so not what’s happening, or what could possibly happen, that sometimes i understand those jc haters who do nothing but bitch about how people are wrong and stupid, because when i think about how ooc the fanon!jgy is, Boy do i see red. i don’t think any other character gets this treatment, because even jc is considered a monster because people simply refuse to see the motivations behind the thing he does and says. for jgy, it’s like the majority of the fandom sat down with a picture of smirking zzj!jgy and made an OC based on that. insane.

anyway -- bragging and hissy possessiveness simply Wouldn’t Happen here, but man, i would actually like to see fanworks exploring jgy’s relationship with owning things that are just his and being confident in his relationships. because a jgy that can confidently say “this is mine” is a jgy who’s secure, safe, stable. possibly has been for years. and this would be Something, because even lxc isn’t considered “safe” enough. even as the most powerful person in the jianghu jgy still thinks like a poor abused teenager* -- he can’t expect anyone to fully accept and support him no matter what. what he can expect is for the world to immediately turn against him, forgetting everything he’s ever done for them, because in the end, he is always just a son of a prostitute.

*and he’s right. it’s important to me that he’s RIGHT, and scenarios where “if only jgy just talked to his two boyfriends, he’d realize that he’s totally secure and has nothing to fear!” are just *growls hisses bites*

this is the kind of person we’re dealing with here. so it would be really interesting to explore that -- at what point does jgy, assuming either a modern au or a canon divergence where things don’t go the way they did in canon, feel secure in his life? at what point does he allow himself not to dress like a glorified servant, perhaps even -- gasp! -- flaunt his riches a bit in a tasteful way, just because he feels like looking fancy? at what point he stops caring about what people might say about him, because he knows there are people who would never abandon him? does that ever happen? does he ever stop showing people, even his loved ones, only the sides of him that are good, lovable, agreeable, not because he’s obsessed with his pristine image but because he fears that anything less than that would make them leave? once they see his “true self” which is, god do i reiterate, not “oh boo hoo i’m such a horrible murderer who doesn’t deserve pure er-ge’s love, i wish i could turn back time and not commit all those unnecessary crimes :(((” but “someone who’s dirty, evil and below everyone no matter what he does, simply because of his birth”? like man That Is Interesting but if i want to read it i’m gonna have to write it myself huh

#this man is so fucking tired and so am i #shrimp thoughts

[absentcaryatid]

Sleeping with Seonghwa

An ATEEZ fanfic by AbsentCaryatid

Takes place in JC world after A Weekend With Yeosang

1.5K words, Content note: mention of military service, food, polyamory

~

“I love you,” you called out to the sound of movement outside your bedroom door.

They paused and a hesitant voice called, “Oh, it is Seonghwa, not your husband.”

Of course, you now recalled he and Hongjoong had spent the night at your home with Mingi. They were the first to break in the large Murphy bed recently installed in the craft room since the spare room was now a bedroom of your own. “Could you come on in? I need you.”

“Um, I am in my night attire.”

“That is fine, so am I. It is not like we haven't seen each other in sleepwear before.”

“Well, you have to promise not to laugh first.”

“Okay,” you agreed. Having no idea what you were about to see, you were grateful it turned out to be an easy thing not to mock Seonghwa when he appeared in the cutest pink fleece onesie. His tongue ran along his lips in what you had originally read as a flirty maneuver, but years of friendship had taught you only the version with eye contact was deliberate. Looking aside as he was now, it was a nervous gesture he had never been able to extinguish. Wanting to put his fears to rest immediately you reassured, “Seonghwa, you are adorable!”

Hand held about to push back the cat-eared hood, he realized he did not need to be shy when your reaction was so positive.

“There’s nothing wrong with some innocent fun.” Unsure how to read his embarrassed look you added, “And if it is not so innocent that is fine too.” His eyes went wide and you put your hands up clarifying, “I don’t need to know.” Wisely changing the subject you asked, “Is there even a tail?”

He turned gracefully modeling the outfit in the growing morning light. “Hongjoong encouraged me to bring it for our sleepover, he said you would not think I was being childish.”

“You wear stuff like this for work projects all the time, why would I find it strange?”

“It is one thing to do it for ATINY, but sometimes it is hard to admit to myself I like the style too. When I was picking out gifts for Yeosang's kids I saw these came in adult sizes so purchased one for me as well.”

“I'm glad you did, it really suits you, but then you make everything look good.”

“You are too kind. That’s enough praise for me though,” he beamed. “You needed something?” Making his way toward the bed, he could see your comforter half on the floor. “Of course, you need rescuing, some things never change.” Fixing the cover like he used to when you slept on the dorm couch he chuckled that even in your own home you still had this problem.

“Thank you for this. I will always need you, Seonghwa, and I do love you, you know. Friends can say that.”

He smiled. “It is always good to hear, and I love you too.”

“If you don’t mind, unless you need me to get up and make breakfast I will get a little more sleep in.” The accompanying yawn that escaped your mouth helped prove the point.

“You know I can feed myself. Please, stay where you are. I am planning to go back to bed anyway.”

“Seonghwa?”

“Yes?”

“You are welcome to crawl in with me if you want a morning snuggle.”

He brightened at the offer. “Really, I could?”

“Sure. With Mingi and I in separate rooms due to my snoring I really miss sleeping that way. If you think you could put up with a chance of noise I would be happy to have you.”

“I would like that, I would like that a lot. Since you moved out of your apartment in our dorm's building I have not been getting as much friendly touch as before and it is missed. Hongjoong and I don't get as much time with our partner Annie as we used to since she was hailed as a supermodel. Then we were living in barracks for so long too. I really miss the warmth of being held and who is going to do that for me, Hongjoong?”

You nodded in understanding, “Good luck with that happening.” Just as he began to lift the covers and join you in the spacious bed, Hongjoong quietly came into the room.

“I heard people up but I see it was temporary.”

With a smirk Seonghwa asked, “Coming to join us?”

Hongjoong laughed, “I am awake already but even if I was not, it would be too much touch. Unless our dear vice president of KQ is trying to complete a checklist of which members she has slept with I will bow out.”

Giggling despite your remaining tiredness you could not help but comment, “You make it sound like I am a groupie, Hongjoong.” Taking a moment to calculate, you realized after camping with Yeosang and Seonghwa’s snuggle now, only Wooyoung and Hongjoong could not be said to have slept with you in some form. With a laugh you reassured, “I want the team in my life, but not for your bodies.”

“And here you were just asking for my body,” Seonghwa accurately observed with a cocked eyebrow.

“You two will lose any chance at sleep if we keep talking. Let me tuck you both in then I am off to get pastries for everyone from that shop nearby you were raving about.”

“That would be wonderful to wake back up to. Thank you Hongjoong.”

“It is the least I could do to repay your hospitality.”

“That is never necessary. You are family, you are always welcome here.” A pleased smile crossed his face at your words. Silently closing the door, Hongjoong left as Seonghwa rolled over away from you. Throwing an arm around him and cuddling in close you pressed your face into the fluffy hood of his soft pajamas. “This is the best, the plush suit fills you out nicely. You feel just like a stuffed animal. Sleep well, Seonghwa.”

Already halfway there he mumbled, “You too.”  

Some time later a momentary chill of pulled back bedding was more than made up for by the coziness of someone at your own back. Kissing your cheek tenderly, you awoke fully to your husband who was now eyeing the pink fuzziness in your arms. “When did we get a cat?”

Petting Seonghwa's head you answered with a grin, “He just showed up. Think we can keep him?”

“Afraid not, love. Pretty sure this kitty cat belongs with Hongjoong.”

Waking with a smile, the cat yawned, stretched, and turned over. “Good morning, Mingi.” Nodding at you he added a little wistfully, “I envy you both having a live-in cuddle buddy.”

Now on your back and holding hands with Mingi who was thoroughly snuggled against your side, you agreed life was pretty good like this.

“Breakfast is here,” Hongjoong announced from the bedroom's doorway. “Looks like you are playing sardines packed in so close like that. Wish my body worked like all of yours and I could join in.”

Seonghwa looked sympathetic. “It is good to listen to yourself and stay true to your needs, I could not relax and enjoy an embrace from you knowing it was making you uncomfortable.” Just like a cat, with a rumble of his stomach Seonghwa then dumped companionship for food leaving to get first pick of the pastry selection.

After spreading out in the bed, Mingi wrapped his arms around you again. “Thank you for giving Seonghwa some physical closeness, he tells me he sees so much to admire in our relationship.”

“You know it was just as beneficial for me. I have really been missing Jongho’s overnight presence now that he is in the military. I feel so fortunate he wanted to include cuddling at night as part of our queerplatonic relationship. Wearing in-ears as much as he does, Jongho does not mind earplugs to counteract the worst of my snoring.”

“I dearly wish I could do that for you.”

Putting a hand on his arm you soothed, “Just like Seonghwa reminded Hongjoong, you need to respect your limits. You gave it a good try and I appreciated that. It is okay your ears did not like the pressure. With all the work you do with ATEEZ, getting a solid night of sleep is more important than having you there whenever I wake up enough to notice.”

“Still, my arms don't want to be empty at night either.”

“You will just have to find something to replace me in your bed then. A bolster or a big stuffed animal? Maybe we should be looking at cats. San and Wooyoung swear by the benefit of waking up with Byeol between them when she is not watching over their twins.”

Mingi sounded almost offended as he vehemently claimed, “No one can replace you.”

Looking at your husband, you wondered if you should bring up a sore subject. “Of course not, but do you ever wonder if Yunho will come back to us when his kids are grown?”

His sigh was heavy. “All the time.” With a forlorn grimace he kissed the top of your head then rolled out of bed. “Let's not keep our guests waiting.”  

~

On to Where Mingi Has Never Gone Before

Masterlist

#ATEEZ #ATEEZ Fluff #ATEEZ Fanfic #ATEEZ Fanfiction #Kpop Fluff #Kpop Fanfic #Seonghwa #Park Seonghwa #ATEEZ Seonghwa #cross posted on ao3 #JC World

[the-firebird69]

David Guetta - Titanium ft. Sia (Official Video)

It's an odd scene. The nunchucks were here and in punta Gorda. Somehow they find their way to westborough he says and it's odd how could that happen so what he's doing is trying to scapegoat them for what he's up to and make it look like he's there prisoner and it's revealed in the end but it's really doing because he's a gifted person and doesn't realize people can see things

Hera Zues

We do realize what you're saying we have to go up there we have to tie into him and we have to do the job and we hear what you're saying he has information on board and he does have pertain information about his stuff and what he's doing and how much stuff he has in his more importantly with the max we're up to and he's not beating you to see it he says it's a very interesting quandary but he also has the nunchucks and we get it and we think it's tomorrow and he is the roofer believe it or not and what you say is I think that's those number two guy and he wants him to go up there and to do this stuff and it sort of having him do things and it makes sense and they're going to try and kidnap and or take over the apartment that makes sense too it's mild compared to what the max you're actually up to and huge armies and he says that and I get it and we do see it and we are shrinking we got cut in half a couple years ago no it's about 8 months ago and we're pretty much cut in half again and a half so it's a quarter and it's going down pretty quick and all of us including the pseudo empire. We don't have time for any of this stuff but we're doing all of it and we're going to become mutants and robots and all sorts of nasty stuff and it seems like the max are fighting us but what they're doing is causing odd things to happen strange things that you wouldn't expect not really sure why it's kind of a very strange mystery they're having monsters come out and take over bodies of people to study the effects and how it's controlled or if it is with his travels and thus ours of what they think his people did and not his clans so we're trying to figure out why the hell he would be doing that I mean why they would be doing that and he says they're trying to send stuff back and they were doing it when they had JC do it and it makes sense and then I just got something and he just got something and we're going to be competition it's like in the movie Aquaman and he says he was a character like that and he didn't fall for the blonde guy thing and he's competing okay with just really powerful people there is a place like that and it fills with water and it makes the desert into habitable land and at some point they're going to do that coming up not really soon but it will happen on Mars and I really can't stand this anymore but his clan made the machines on Mars and we're going to have that struggle we definitely are I have been looking at these mountains and they're huge and Everest is the tallest in height but it's not the tallest mountain by far and really he says it can't be the tallest in height then it's not they're on the islands of Antarctica and Greenland and their massive and people have been crashing and he says it's electromagnetics and it's hard to detect and there's a lot of stuff like that he says tons of it most people can't stand any of it so he wants us to back off him and get motorcycles going and all sorts of interesting Baja vehicles and music oh my garth they just making fun of us yeah the last one's a little odd but really he's kind of sick of this and so are we we have to go through a massive amount of hell all the time at home during the day while eating every bite it's really stupid and these Max are doing it and they're idiots and keep pushing an envelope that's already gone it left the building it's way over the top I don't know what else you want to make a flowing river of Mercury I mean come on. We have way too much to do but it looks like tomorrow we're going to westborough to watch this guy Tommy have to do his little show grab us and take a self and we can try and watch him do experiments it's kind of a deal but he's this way about it

Trump

And I suppose we have to go through all those dumb movies beforehand it looks like it and really I'm after the nunchucks before this movie so it's not tomorrow and tomorrow would be probably fear Street the series is three movies but they're pretty bad

Tommy f

Olympus

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