#i dont really feel safe on this website at all to discuss any of this yet lmao

[7habitsofhighlyeviceratedpeople]

Hi I have some concerns regarding your server. I don't think it's a good idea to have your Outlast server be all ages... Outlast is a very adult game and isn't appropriate for teens to be discussing with random adults in a discord server, even if the discussions aren't necessarily bad, ie just gushing over a character or whatever; it's because of the nature of the game itself that makes it inappropriate. Red Barrels themselves don't want underage ppl interacting with their content either, their website has you put your date of birth in to even look at anything, and their official server actually is 18+. There's a reason why they do that. If there are minors in the server that get upset over not being allowed in anymore, if you do decide to make it 18+, then they can create their own Outlast server only for people their own age, so that its teens talking to teens with less risk of anything sus happening. I could never tell a 14 yr old to stop liking Outlast because I was a 14 yr old who loved Outlast, but being in the fandom and discussing aspects of the game with adults wasn't appropriate for me then and it still isn't now. I'm saying this from experience. Honestly I don't think any discord server even if totally SFW and clean should have both adults and teens in it because theres too mush risk involved. I think having a server for fans of Outlast is great and I'm sure fans in the server are happy with how it is, but making the server safer for both adults and minors in the server would probably make people happier

Hello! Sorry it took me a bit to get back to you, I just saw this today and needed some time to collect my thoughts because I wasn’t exactly sure how to approach this in a way that aligns with my own personal values for the server and also tries to adhere to what you are asking of me. I take the safety of people, especially minors in my server extremely seriously. I also got into Outlast at a young age and have had my fair share of experiences in the fandom with creeps, usually adults or just plain weird people. My server is 13+ to be the most inclusive, while trying to simultaneously make the space as safe as possible for everyone involved. While I agree that there are absolutely sus people in this fandom (more so than others) and that it can be extremely dangerous for minors to even coexist in the fandom with these people, as i’ve literally spoken about in the past, it’s very easy for bad situations to happen. That being said, I personally find it easier and more safe to curate my space in a way where it’s inclusive to minors while also keeping it as safe as I have control over making it. The rules are specifically designed to make sure that weirdos DONT get in, and we have a very active community with moderators enforcing these rules. We don’t allow anything NSFW to get in the server outside of the specified channels, which BY THE WAY are role locked. You HAVE to be 18+ (unless you feel comfortable lying to me which I can’t really control and i don’t want to completely lock minors out of the server just over the potential of a person lying to me which will result in an immediate ban) We don’t allow any sort of discussion about anything NSFW in any channels, including conversations about sex, drugs, etc. The rules are insanely fine tuned to make things as safe as possible, and as of right now myself and mods feel it is safer to keep the server the way it is, than to kick all the ppl who are younger than 18 out to go find some other worse server or make their own which i personally don’t find to be a super safe option either. Here they are more protected imo than if they went to seek out other servers/made one that was ONLY minors. This is my personal stance on the matter, and I understand that this isn’t what you wanted to hear. For that I apologize but I will always be prioritizing the safety of the people in my server in the best way i feel that I can. I feel like under the rules we have and the safety measures instated they are the most safe in this server than one that’s completely lawless and i feel like one minor lying to me about their age is less dangerous than a creep lying about THEIR age to get into a server full of fucking minors. Doesn’t sit right with me, once again I am sorry. I will consider making the server age requirement older and speaking to the mods and members about putting even more safety things in place but like i said I just feel safer with the way things are. My dms are open for concerns btw 🤞 There is more I could say on this but I feel like this gets my feelings across the best way I can :) to me it’s like banning smthn like abortion. (weird example i know) it doesn’t stop ppl from getting them but it just makes for a safer, more sterile environment! Remember it is a FANDOM server at the end of the day and this is a very different situation than Red Barrels putting an age thing on their websites (which ppl can just lie to with yr logic lol)

#rules in the reblogs #outlast #outlast fandom

[potteresque-ire]

hello, ily metas! thank you for taking the time for them. i hope you dont mind an ask with two follow up questions to your metas i'm curious about: 1) has mxtx rly been sentenced? i have seen others also share this news but other fans have quickly dismissed and gotten pissed at these reports for being fake news that are bad for mxtx, and as fearmongering. 2) for those who want to support yizhan but not the ccp, do you have advice how to navigate fan support and interaction with their media?

Hello! I apologise for the late reply!  You’ve brought up some interesting points, so please forgive me for responding with an essay.

First, about MXTX — This is a follow-up to this post.

Unfortunately, this is all we got—all everyone has got about MXTX’s current situation: on 2020/11/10, she was sentenced in Hangzhou Shang Cheng District’s People’s Court (杭州市上城區人民法院). No details were given on her verdict, due to “人民法院認為不宜在互聯網公布的其它情形”  (“The People’s Court decided it inappropriate to announce further details on the internet”). Here’s a link with the screenshot that showed all the information released about the case that day.

There are enough copies of similar screenshots to this one online, with the differences dependent on where the publisher pulled the information from the same website: 中國裁判文書網, an online archive of verdicts run by China Supreme People’s Court. There’re few reasons, therefore, to believe the information on the screenshot was fake. The link I used was Sina’s Financial News, which I believe is trustworthy enough for China’s standard.

It is also important to note, of course, that two scenarios may still render this screenshot irrelevant. 1) The verdict, which was not mentioned in the screenshot, was “not guilty” and 2) the name listed in the case, 袁依楣, was not MXTX at all.

Few have seemed to suspect 2) to be a possibility. Her real name might have been prior knowledge among some fans, or the combination of her surname and city of residence. 1) has been the where the concern / debate is.

I included China’s rate of conviction in the original post for this reason: acquittal is exceedingly rare (<0.1%) for the arrested in China. This short article discussed some reasons.

So, is it possible that MXTX is now a free woman? Yes. Is it likely? Not at all.

Still, since the probability that MXTX is imprisoned isn’t 100%, is spreading this news smearing her name? Fear-mongering?

I can only answer for myself, Anon, but my answer is no for both questions, which is why I’ve felt comfortable posting about her case. MXTX’s alleged “crimes” are things we already knew she did, or common practices among Chinese IP writers. We know she penned MDZS and other BL works; we know MDZS, in particular, has an 18+ element. She was said to have sold merch based on her works, but that wasn’t unusual at all for writers in Jinjiang, where she published her writing. Even those who don’t like her have seemed to agree that it was her writing that got her into trouble, not some other crimes she could’ve committed.

IMO, a guilty verdict doesn’t tell us as much about her as it does about the judicial system, the business practices of her country. It’s worth re-mentioning that media giants such as Tencent are closely tied to the government; Tencent’s WeChat, for example, is part of China’s Great Firewall and is used for surveillance, for censorship and removal of political dissidents. What MXTX’s case hints at is this: the government has (very likely) convicted her, while its close allies are continuing to use her works—works that got her into legal trouble in the first place—to make money. Some fans of MXTX have questioned if the courts have censored the details of the case to save the embarrassment of the rich and powerful, calling what has happened to MXTX 人血饅頭 (“human blood steamed buns”), an idiom used to describe the act of profiting out of someone elses’ life.

As for fear-mongering, here are my thoughts ~ it would’ve been fear-mongering if the public has access to the facts, and not years after they happen. Specifically, it would’ve been fear-mongering to leak the rumours of MXTX’s sentencing, when the judicial system is transparent and the case details will soon be published for all to see. Why? Because “fear” comes from the unknown, and “-monger” is the unnecessary promotion, stirring-up of this fear.

To promote, stir up anything, one needs a reference level. The reference level in this scenario is this: what is the level of fear if the facts about MXTX’s (and other BL writers’) situation are known? Of course, this knowledge doesn’t make MXTX’s experience any easier or more just; it doesn’t cause her less fear. However, she isn’t the target audience of this likely-to-be-true rumour. The target audience is the public and in particular, those who consume and/or generate BL material online.

What is the level of fear among this population if the facts about MXTX’s (and other BL writers’) situation are known? It’s the (relative) comfort in knowing the government’s stance on what they do: how the administration feels about BL, 18+ BL, and their distribution methods. The comfort comes from having the right information to decide how to act accordingly. For example, if I’m a BL writer based in China and I know the court has found MXTX guilty of bypassing publishing houses but not of writing M/M romance, then I’ll know to not produce paper versions of my writing, but I can keep writing.

This reference level of fear is unavailable here, however, since the government has decided to withhold all details about the case. Without this reference level, fear-mongering becomes a ... difficult to define concept.

Are these likely-to-be-true rumours agents of fear, or are they hints on how to survive in a country that lacks transparency?

Continuing with the example of I being a Chinese BL writer, since I cannot expect to hear more facts about MXTX, this rumour is all I’ve got in choosing what to do with my hobby, in deciding whether it is safe to continue. As I’m aware that a rumour isn’t a fact, I first research on the rumour’s likelihood of truth (similar to what I’ve done for MXTX’s case), and cross my fingers that I don’t get it wrong.

By doing so, I’m turning these rumours into my survival guide.

Is it risky? Yes. Is it exhausting? Absolutely. But this is the way of life for people who live under secretive, authoritarian governments—the authoritarian element making it impossible to demand more facts. It may take people outside such regimes some time to get used to—to the lifestyle, and to the idea that, in a place where news is often synonymous with propaganda, rumours are breadcrumbs of truth that should be sieved through with equal care as one would sieve through the news. Heeding, considering the probable truth of what the authority has deemed to be fear-mongering rumours can be a matter of literal life and death. 

Take...COVID. (I apologize for bringing up this unpleasant topic!)

I shall link to an article about the early spread of COVID in Wuhan here and ask: were Dr. Li Wenliang and the seven other doctors fear-mongering? Wuhanese chose to believe in the government, but at what cost to them? What would the world be like today if they took the early COVID rumours as true and masked up like Hong Kongers—Hong Kongers who weren’t any smarter or better, but had simply learned their painful lessons from the 2003 SARS epidemic? 

(Why hadn’t the Wuhanese learned? Because the government has long changed the narrative of SARS, taught their people that the illness originated in Hong Kong.) 

(How can one learn from past mistakes if one pretends those mistakes never existed?)

You must be wondering, Anon, why I’m talking about COVID when your next question is about YiZhan. The death of Dr Li Wenliang on February 7th, 2020, sparked a demand for freedom of speech rarely seen in internet-age China. Its fury, its ferocity forced the government to change its stance on Dr Li, again an unusual move. Since January 2020, Weibo had been censoring COVID news and opinion pieces that shedded a negative light to the central government; after the death of Dr Li, the censorship apparatus stepped up, making way for the propaganda machine to kick in later and change the narrative of the pandemic.

Here are some questions without definite answers, but may be food for thought for YiZhan fans:

1) While the Chinese government’s censorship apparatus (including Weibo) might have silenced the voices of dissent, of mourning on the surface, was it more likely to pacify, or fuel the anger of netizens, many of whom had lost loved ones, many of whom were still under quarantine?

2) Less than three weeks after the death of Dr Li, a group of fans demanded even *more* censorship from the government—the closing of an internet website that had been seen as a relatively free space to express oneself. How would these netizens react, even though they knew little about these fans or their idol?  

(It was, in the context of the massive silencing of COVID discussions in China, that I learned about the ban of AO3. There had been rumours that the government would censor more websites on 2020/03/01. When I read about AO3′s ban on 2/27, my thoughts were 1) Hmm. This came two days early. 2) AO3? Really?)

(I wouldn’t watch The Untamed or know who Gg was until several months later.)

Now, Anon, this is a good time to get to your CCP (Chinese Communist Party) question.

The very short answer is no. There’s no way to support YiZhan without, to a certain level, supporting the CCP. As mentioned above, the media companies are all part of China’s surveillance system. Weibo is where freedom of speech is curbed. Our two boys have been part of the propaganda machine; the BBC article linked above had a tiny picture of Gg on it, as he was a performer in the Hero in Harm’s Way (最美逆行者), a “real-life based” drama on COVID. DD just did a show glorying the Chinese police force (and here’s a video of the same force welding doors to lock in COVID-stricken residents).

Nonetheless, here’s my first advice: please do not beat yourself up for supporting YiZhan!

Gg and Dd are people who live within the system, inside the Great Firewall. They understand the world the way their government has taught them to—not only in school, but also in the news and media. Like most youths in every country, they’re patriotic—and to expect them to be otherwise, especially because of information they don’t have, is both unrealistic and unfair. Even if they do know about certain things impermissible within the Firewall, in China (as in many Communists countries), openly expressing / performing one’s proper political leanings (ie. loyalty towards CCP) is among the most important pre-requisites for any job. This has been especially true for c-ent in recent years .

They, like most of their countrymen, are doing what they have to do.

In this case, it comes to us, our decisions on how to interact with their works. How should we deal with them, their propaganda elements?

The answer, of course, varies from person to person. Personally, I’ve chosen the approaches of “immunisation” and “restriction”. By “immunisation”, I mean learning about as much historical and sociopolitical facts from non-CCP sponsored sources; this is understandably difficult for someone who doesn’t already have some familiarity with the culture and politics of the region, and/or cannot read the language. 

Restriction means limiting my consumption of media produced by China. I avoid shows (dramas, documentaries, variety etc) featuring topics that are likely to contain heavy propaganda, such as the military, the police, Hong Kong/Macao/Taiwan, and of course, anything pertaining to the CCP, from its rise to its governance of the country.

In general, I’m wary of all information presented about the post-monarchy years (post 1911), even though CCP wouldn’t begin its reign until after WWII (1949). Why so early? 1) Because CCP was formed in 1921 and so its glorification requires a change of narrative since then; 2) because the Nationalist Party (Kuomintang, KMT), which governed China between 1912 and 1949 (the so-called Republican Era 民國), would end up exiling to and setting up a new government in Taiwan.

How much propaganda should one expect in shows depicting the country post-1911? The current TV and webdrama directives (previously discussed in this post) offer some hints. Here are my translations of the relevant items:

D7) Dramas about the Republican era: Glorification of the Republican Era, the Beiyang Government, and Warlord Era requires strict control.

D10) Crime drama: crime drama is the focus of content auditing. The Ministry of Public Security (Pie note: in charge of law enforcement, ie, police) will be involved in the audit. The process of crime solving cannot be exposed; criminal psychology and motivations can however be depicted in detail. Undercover police cannot use drugs or kill, or damage the image of the police force. Criminals must be punished by law.

D12) Dramas featuring realistic topics: realistic topics must adhere to the correct world view, philosophy of life and moral values. They cannot place too strong an emphasis on social conflicts, must showcase the beautiful lives of the commoners. Regular folks should display larger-than-life sentiments and aspirations; they can pursue wealth, but must use proper means to do so; they cannot damage the public image of specific employment types, groups and social organisations. Do not preach negative or decadent world view, philosophy of life and moral values. Do not exaggerate, amplify social issues; do not over showcase, display the darker sides of society; do not preach affluence, avoid things that have no basis in real life.

D16) Dramas featuring the Revolution (Pie note: CCP’s coming to power): 2019 is the publicity period of the 70th Anniversary of the People’s Republic of China. Although the “Three Importances” (important revolution, important people, important events) are still encouraged, the  National Radio and Television Administration requires all departments, at all levels, to strengthen the control of content and the overall management of the industry, and focus on the auditing of content pertaining to the Sino-Japanese war and espionage dramas.

These directives (as those translated in the other post) are as vague as they are restrictive, and to err on the side of caution, production companies tend to “overachieve” to avoid going against headwinds at the censorship board. This means their products have a tendency to malign the Republican Era (D7). It means they will likely twist history in trying to depict the CCP as faultless heroes (D16). It means they'll probably present a utopian-like society and call it reality-based (D12), a society in which the good guys share the same values as the CCP and always win (D10).

Yes, my “restriction” means I skipped Hero in Harm’s Way. It means I’ve never listened to Gg’s version of 我和我的祖國 despite my absolute adoration of his voice. It means I just missed Dd’s performance in the law enforcement celebration event. It means I don’t plan on watching Being A Hero and Ace Troops.

So here’s where I’ve drawn the line, Anon, but it doesn’t mean that’s what anyone should do. Only you alone can decide where your own comfort zone is. I write these metas in the hopes that it can offer a … gateway for those who’d like to understand, with a more telescopic lens, Gg and Dd’s country—a country that holds a particularly strong hold over its citizens’ fate including, yes, their romantic fate. It’s not my wish to impose my opinions on anyone.

If I have other hopes… It’s this. Please, as long as it’s safe for you to talk, do not self-censor—especially about facts, especially on sites like Tumblr or Twitter that have long been banned by the Chinese government. I don’t mean one should go about and confront those who insist on a different version of reality. To undo opinions rooted in years of education, IMO, the process has to be voluntary, and the information is already at the fingertips of those who’re surfing these sites and wish to learn more. More importantly, open discussions of these topics may be risky for those who still have close ties to China, and keeping them safe should always be the top priority. 

What I mean is simply this ~ please do not feel obliged to agree with every perspective presented in YiZhan’s work just because you support the leads. Please do not feel you must remain silent about the CCP—its good, bad and ugly—just because your favourite stars happen to come from the country it’s ruling. And please remember: “Chinese”, as a term, has always included people who live outside CCP’s control, many of whom still fully embrace the culture, traditions and values of Historical China, a 5000-years long string of dynasties with shifting borders, ethnic makeup and customs. The Untamed is a mainland Chinese production, yes, but its genre, its manner of presenting certain traditions, wouldn’t have been developed, or flourished, without the diaspora. The CCP has only been the ruling party of one country, the People’s Republic of China, for 71 years, and as a party with foreign (soviet) roots and a record of destroying the pillar of the country’s tradition, Confucianism, it doesn’t own a monopolistic say on how every Chinese should think and act—no matter how much it insists it does—or how everyone should think and speak about China and its people.

It isn’t qualified.

#Anonymous #pie metas #pie answers #BJYX #yizhan

[altschmerzes]

hello! sorry if this question is too personal and you really dont have to answer if you dont want to but like. how did you know you were aro? its just something that ive been wondering about myself for a while.

i'm happy to answer! it's the sort of thing i don't at all mind talking about, i welcome questions and discussion about anything aro anyone would like to talk about as long as they arrive in good faith. it's an extremely major part of my identity, more than pretty much anything else lately.

so obviously this is different for everyone, but here's how it happened for me, in terms of figuring out i was aro. i'll put it under a cut for length (i'm so sorry, i ended up saying. so much. most of it is probably not even relevant to your question.) and also for some potentially upsetting content, re: internalized arophobia and having difficulty coping with one's identity.

so i didn't actually come across the term aromantic until i was maybe fifteen or so, after i'd already come to identify as asexual

(for a variety of reasons, i don't actually identify with "asexual" as a label anymore, as a brief digression. this is a recent choice for me re: what feels right for myself. i'm choosing not to identify a sexual orientation anymore at all, like - 'what are you?' aromantic. 'yeah but like are you asexual too or' Just Aro. i'm just gonna be identifying with the part that FOR ME is the important part, not the part people would like to shove on me and then make the only part they talk about. like, am i ace? idk, man, probably! to be honest though i don't really know! and like, what's more it doesn't really. impact my life at this point? i don't have strong or even moderate feelings about my sexual orientation. i don't blame anyone for that assumption, it's just that even when like... fictional characters are confirmed aroace (when that. happens. usually via word of godTM), people will OFTEN only engage with the ace part if they acknowledge that canon identity at all, and i'm tired of living the real-life equivalent when i don't even know if that's how i'd describe myself! at any rate. in terms of identity and words for identity lately, i'm aro and queer and that's the end of that.)

ANYWAYS. to return to the point. i encountered the word in passing on a website to do with asexuality and it started being something i thought about periodically in the back of my mind, which was actually a really upsetting experience at first. i had a pretty strong reaction to concluding i was asexual originally, it freaked me out even though it clearly fit me, and i could only really get myself to calm down about it when i reminded myself over and over that i was still 'normal' that i could 'still date and love and have relationships'. which is obviously an arophobic way to present asexuality, and was a huge warning sign of the massive internalized arophobia i was dealing with. it took me a WHILE to accept i even might be aromantic, never mind start identifying that way.

after i concluded that i was aro, it didn't really... get easier, not right away. not for a while, actually. when i first directly identified to myself that 'i am aromantic' i had an epic freak-out that outshone the way i freaked out at my (then) asexual identity by a hundred-fold. i'm talking i literally for over a week afterwards had regular, as in several times daily, panic attacks about it. given my family situation and the way society as a whole portrays and expects friendships to be temporary, situational things that fade as people 'grow up' and get 'real' relationships, i always saw romantic relationships as my only chance for actual love and the ability to build a safe and loving family. i was petrified of being alone and unloved, and that something was deeply wrong with me or missing from me for being unable to love the 'correct' way.

(obviously, this is bullshit. dominant western us american society and the narratives we're exposed to through it are... wrong. i am a person who feels a lot of love very deeply and profoundly, for the people in my life and the world at large, and i am in turn deeply and profoundly loved by the friends that have come to form my support system. i also really want to be in a queerplatonic relationship - i think i would be very happy in that kind of relationship, and i'm very interested in the idea of marrying someone i'm not romantically attached to. these were all things i didn't really... comprehend as options when i had that enormous, terrified reaction. (there is nothing wrong with aromantic people who don't feel love or connected to the concept of love at all, or who don't want any kind of partnered life or relationship, of course. that is just not my experience and it's not dismissive or erasing of those experiences to talk about mine.))

(i was also on tumblr and having this internal journey at pretty much the exact peak of 'ace discourse' and the rampant, unchecked, EXTREME ace- and arophobia on this website. it was absolutely everywhere, and it came from seemingly everyone. it wasn't just fine, it was cool. seemed like everyone thought it was funny and that ace and aro people were acceptable, even applaudable targets who needed to be put in their place. this doesn't happen so much anymore, but there are definitely still people out there who behave like this. that scared the shit out of me and actually re-closeted me for a while after i came out and experienced the force of it.)

as for HOW i concluded i was aro once i found out about it though, to back-track a little bit and hopefully address your actual question (i'm SO SORRY), it was actually laughably obvious in hindsight.

when i was young, i just. made up crushes. when my classmates and friends pestered each other and me about crushes, and saying 'no one' or not answering only made it into a much bigger deal, i looked around our class and picked the nicest or most tolerable boy i saw and was like okay, him. that's my crush. i was taken completely by surprise when friends started dating people or my classmates started dating each other. it often took me a while to catch on, and i was confused as hell every time. it actually annoyed me a lot, because everybody was suddenly caught up in all this bullshit i didn't understand or want anything to do with and the things that used to be interesting and fun were getting ignored and made weird by all the drama. people being upset about not dating and pining about people they wanted to date did not make sense to me at all - in my head, as a young elementary and middle schooler, i was like. "you could just go over and be friends with them, why are you making such a big deal about this."

then i hit high school, and the point at which it seemed... weird that i wasn't dating and wasn't dating and wasn't dating while it seemed like everyone else was and people were getting Weird about me not dating. and so i dated. or.......... tried to. two or three times, i tried to date, with people i thought were genuinely lovely and fun to be around who i wanted to know better and wanted to develop more emotional and physical intimacy with. (i'm a physically affectionate person, and this is important to me. this was another reason that i was upset about identifying as aro - it felt like things like frequent hugs aside from brief squeezes with friends leaving events or something, cuddling, etc, most if not all types of physical intimacy were just. lost to me. which is also not the case! it's all about the specific boundaries and comfort levels in individual relationships, not the nature of those relationships.)

these attempts did Not Work. as soon as it became about dating, about romance or attempting to enter a romantic relationship, my entire self revolted at the idea. i felt physically nauseated even just thinking about the person i was trying to date, and in one notable case with a very sweet boy in my high school freshman class when i was 14/15, we went on a few dates and do a dance together, and then the bad feelings and panic and revulsion built up in me until i sent him a frantic text essentially going I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE LEAVE ME ALONE and avoided him at school to such an extent that if i saw him in the hall i'd walk the other way. i did Not handle that well, as we can see. he was a good, lovely person, and he didn't deserve that. i actually looked him up on facebook a few years later and sent a message explaining and apologizing, and he was very sweet about it, no hard feelings, and we wished each other well.

the older i got the more annoyed and repulsed i felt by romance in fiction. fandom was a huge part of my life in my teens (and now!) and fiction narratives have always been monumentally important to me. they're how i've communicated my feelings and experiences, understood myself and others, and found meaning. fiction and fandom in particular also have increasingly drove me out of my fucking mind with the extreme, overwhelming emphasis on romance often to the exclusion and degradation of all else. it started out confusing and irritating me, and got to the point of being actively triggering for me. i joke sometimes that recently i've become more romance repulsed by the day, but it's true.

also - one of the bigger barriers to my choosing to identify as aromantic, outside of internalized arophobia and my fears associated with it, was the question of 'well, how do i know for sure.' it's hard to prove a negative, you know? what if i was wrong? what if i just hadn't met the right person yet? what if it changed? and it took me a while to reach this point but where i'm at now is like. well, maybe! so what if i am wrong? so what if i do meet someone later in life that i end up attracted to? that doesn't make anything about my current life wrong or untrue, and it's no guarantee. the identity label of aromantic has brought me more comfort and understanding and joy in who i am and where i fit in the world than i can express. so i'm going to identify this way, loudly and proudly, and if that changes later on, which it might but i frankly doubt it, i will never regret the time i've spent as aromantic and in the aromantic community.

so in conclusion: i'm so sorry this ended up being a meandering textbook around my whole. experience with coming to identify as aro, good bad and confusing, i hope there was something useful to you in there! as for figuring this out for yourself, i wish i could be more help! everyone is different and every aro's experience is different. i've found some useful tools, including a very cool list of 'you may be aromantic if...' statements that weren't comprehensive or universal obviously but was enlightening and helpful. if you want to chat further, please feel free to reach out any time, on or off anon. please know there is nothing i'm more thrilled to discuss than aromanticism in any context. it's very important to me, and i wish i got to talk about this sort of thing more.

mostly, i'd like to say this to you, and to anyone else debating whether or not to use the term or identify as aromantic:

you are welcome here. if the term brings you peace or understanding, you are welcome here. if you choose to identify this way for five days or five years or for the rest of your life, you are welcome here. if it turns out you're wrong, or if you change your mind, or whatever, you are welcome here. if you're questioning, you are welcome here. and i'll happily take up and throw down with anyone who tries to say otherwise.

#gav gab #gav answers #aro blogging #aromantic #actuallyaromantic #sorry this is so long oy #anyways it was. a wild ride but #i hope this is in some way helpful!

[wcamino-confessions]

some of y’all still seem to think supportclan should stay, and I respect y’all for holding strong to your opinions and I understand that point of view to some extent, but y’all don’t even have a real argument as to why it should still be around at this point

y’all’s argument in response to everyone who thinks sc should go is “everyone keeps saying the same thing, maybe you guys should find something new to bitch about 😐” but like??? did y’all ever consider that maybe the same issues with sc keep coming up because???????? they’re a big deal?????????????????

I think the concept of supportclan is really great and it’s easy to see that there was nothing apart from good intentions put into the creation and function of that clan and I respect the hell out of that. but for every good thing I can list off about the clan, there’s two more bad things

for starters, the clan is completely 100% irrelevant to the community. not like species irrelevant, I’m talking shouldn’t even exist in the fandom irrelevant. mhaa crossover irrelevant. it’s a great thing that the clan is trying to do, but a couple of teens online saying they’re there for you and that you matter isnt the sort of professional help that a lot of the people seeking them out need. no, sc members DONT claim to be professionals, but at the end of the day they are absolutely trying to take on a job that only professionals should be handling and it can have some seriously detrimental effects on those who are looking to confide in sc members for (HELLA TW AHEAD** advice/help in abusive relationships (romantic or family), suicide/self harm, mental illness, and other serious issues. putting younger members into that mindset of “its better to go to strangers online than to seek professional help” is dangerous for those who need said help. it might be more comfortable for them in the moment, but in the long run most of those people are going to fall into a seriously concerning habit of preferring other teens online for venting, advice and help in serious topics such as the ones above. this habit not only prevents the member for getting the help they need, but it has the potential to harm the members of wa that they’re confiding in as well.

secondly, supportclan can be detrimental to its OWN members. while the work they’re signing up for is entirely voluntary, a lot of younger members are notorious for taking on more than they can handle, and in multiple cases, new supportclan warriors/apprentices have found themselves overwhelmed with some of the issues members of the community are coming to them with. and there is absolutely NO WAY that sc can guarantee the safety of their members when the community who seeks them out is unpredictable, potentially hostile (particularly in stressful situations that would provoke them to contact sc in the first place), and oftentimes lash out or say things in tbe heat of the movement that can put unnecessary stress/concern into the warrior taking that case. while I understand that not every sc case is a distraught 14 year old in the middle of having a panic attack and threatening to kill themselves, no one can deny that these sorts of cases do pop up once in a blue moon, and there’s no way to prepare those warriors for something like that.

in addition to my last point, providing an outlet on wa that is “open to all members” despite having rules that say certain cases should be turned away/reported can make those seeking comfort or support feel unimportant, burdening, or even hopeless. supportclan is meant to be a safe haven where wa can vent to “trained” warriors or get advice and help in situations that they don’t feel comfortable going to anyone else for, but when you’re only able to take certain cases, it defeats the whole safe haven aspect of the clan. the rules are completely understandable, but I mean the fact that sc tries to portray themselves as open armed and prepared to tackle any issue thrown at them even with these rules that deny several members help/help in confidence, is a bit contradicting.

and lastly, there are MANY other ways for our community to provide help to those in need! having hotlines and websites readily available for situations beyond our power is one way to safely aid the community. I know that some folks go to sc as a sort of “therapy session” thing when they can’t afford real therapy or are being denied that necessity, so providing them with free online therapists, psychiatrist, and other related sources could also be a lot more helpful than people realize. there are several other alternatives that can be utilized to ensure that all parties stay safe and get the help they need. but supportclan needs to go, and if wa decides to push for a healthy alternative to sc’s removal, then that’s a discussion that I’m sure the lt would be thrilled to take on!

#submission #suicide tw #self harm ment

[ktfromjerseyblog]

How to deal with a Sims 4 Game Patch when playing with Mods and CC

OPTIONS FOR GAME PATCH:

1.) Manual Update, day of (or soon after) patch release

2.) Delay update

3.) Vanilla play

OPTION #1 (MANUAL UPDATE)

If you are doing a manual update immediately when it is available, first thing to do is BACK-UP your Mods, Saves and Tray folders.

INSTRUCTIONS ON BACKING UP MODS/CC, SAVE FILES, AND TRAY (skip if you’re familiar):

Go to your Game folder, click and drag your Mods folder to your desktop. Then right-click somewhere blank on your desktop and create a New Folder (rename it STANDBY). Open this STANDBY folder and right-click in the blank space, click New Folder (name this one Mods). You are going to repeat the process until you have three folders inside your STANDBY folder. They should be titled Mods, Saves, and Tray.

Open your Mods folder (on your desktop) and the STANDBY folder at the same time (side by side). Select all of the files in your Mods folder (CTRL+A or Command+A), then right click on them and select COPY. Then click into your STANDBY folder, go to Mods, right-click the blank space, and select PASTE. Now you will have your original Mods folder on your desktop to test and use, and you will also have this STANDBY folder as a duplicate back up.

Next you will go to your Game Folder, select Tray, select all items (CTRL+A), right-click, select COPY. Then you will paste all these folders into the STANDBY>Tray folder. Then do the exact same thing with your Saves folder. Now you will have everything finally backed up. I recommend moving this STANDBY folder to an external hard drive (or flashdrive).

AFTER YOU UPDATED WITH GAME PATCH: please test once WITHOUT your Mods folder. Remove the entire Physical Mods folder from your Game Folder, place on desktop. This assists in a Folder Refresh. Let the game make a new Mods folder, with a new Resource.cfg inside, and rebuild from there. Don’t forget that you may need to turn on your Game Settings to enable script mods and custom content. This is in your Game Menu, under Other Settings. Considering “IF” the new free-floating objects feature “doesn’t” break CC. It should be safe to put your CC right back into the newly created Mods folder. At this point, you should still have your mods on your desktop. This is the point where you need to begin researching if your mods are working. To do this, you can check the comments below for mod updates. We implore you to follow creators on their social media for confirmation of working/broken mod reports. Most Script Mods WILL BREAK. Your best bet is keeping all of your mods on your desktop and only introducing them after

a.) mod has been confirmed working

b.) mod has been replaced with updated version.

OPTION #2 (DELAY UPDATE)

To delay an update, you must have pre-emptively turned OFF your Game Auto-Updates in advance. Next you will need to ensure your Origin Client is OFFLINE. This will mean that you can keep all your mods and cc in your game folder and continue to play unchanged. People do this in the meantime while they’re waiting for Creators to update their mods. This is the option for people who can’t bare to play without CC and Mods

OPTION #3 (VANILLA PLAY)

This option is for people who are too excited to wait any longer for the patch update and new expansion, and would rather wait for all the Creators to finish their testing and patches. So in order to do this, you will need to remove your Mods folder from your Game Folder, and place it on your desktop. Or you can disable mods and custom content in your Game Settings, under Other Settings. I still recommend backing up your saves and tray files.

FOLDER REFRESH

https://forums.thesims.com/en_us/discussion/805240/game-folder-refresh-may-fix-some-issues

or

https://youtu.be/bQC_IQHA3o4

GAME REFUSES TO START

If your game is not starting or prompts an error, remove all off your mods/cc, then restart. If it starts up just fine, then it is due to an error in your mods. If it does not start up, then you may have a corrupted save file due to a broken mod. Please be sure your game folder is saved in the appropriate path:

PC users should look something like this (minus the kmeha..thats just my comp name)

C:\Users\kmeha\Documents\Electronic Arts\The Sims 4

If youre game is continuing to give you start-up issues, please feel free to post about it. But include the following:

PC/Mac user?

Legacy Edition?

Folder Refresh conducted?

Restart without mods conducted?

Did you re-enable custom content and script mods?

Include picture of error message.

For confusion on files in your game, please review this link:

https://sims4.crinrict.com/eng/2014/09/user-files-explained/

EDIT 1 (ADDITION):

For those of you saying "my mods never break when i update the game". Mods can and most likely will break after an update. The word "broken" does not necessarily mean your game is going to completely stop working. So i'm going to make up an example to help you better understand. Let's say that Sacrificial's Life Tragedies Mod was labeled as "Broken". But when you play with it in game, you see no issues, and you receive no LastExceptionErrors. So you may think, "well thats not right, my mod is fine." when in reality its not. So some mods are massive and have loads of animations, objects, and content in general. If one tiny thing from it is corrupted in the code due to a patch update, it is considered “Broken”. So in Sacrificial's Life Tragedies Mod, you have five serial killers that you have the option of using. Lets say the game patch update breaks The Killer Nanny in that mod. But you never play with her ever. This could mean that you would never know that the mod is broken because you havent received any error notifications due to you not utilizing that portion of the code. This still means the mod is "broken" though. Broken can just mean that there is a small (or large) portion of the coding that is not compatible with how the game coding has changed due to the update. TLDR: a small feature can break and you would never know it if you never use it. it still means the mod is broken.

EDIT 2 (ADDITION):

For those of you looking for methods to read your lastException files, the following are your options:

1. Deaderpool Discord

2. Better Exceptions

3. Last Exceptions reader

DEADERPOOL DISCORD: For the deaderpool discord, you will have to create an account on discord. its super easy. i absolutely love discord. if you dont know what it is, its basically like a massive chat room platform, particularly popular amongst gamers. If you decide to create a discord account, you'll have to download the software. its totally safe! i use it all the time. a lot of gamers use it as a platform to talk to their friends over voice chat when playing a game that doesnt provide a feature like that. if you decide to join discord, here is the link for the Deaderpool Discord (ran by the creator of MCCC): https://discord.gg/mccc

if you go on there, they have a text channel called "error support". its super easy to use, all you have to do is click on that channel, and then click and drag your LE file into the channel box. it will upload it to the server. theres nothing in your file that will get you hacked or anything. tens of thousands of files have been uploaded to this. its literally just a text document saying where the error is in your mod coding. From there, someone from the Support Team will respond with a solution. Its really great because they can help you to understand reading the code.

BETTER EXCEPTIONS MOD: This is a mod that you download from Twisted Mexi:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/better-major-26712505

This mod will provide a new file to generate in your game called the Better Exceptions Report. When you get one, it will tell you what it suspects is causing an issue in your game. This is one of the most user-friendly options for new modders. When you see the identifed "issue" in the report, you'll have just to exit out of game and delete the issue (broken cc/mod). Before you re-start your game, just remember to delete the BetterExceptionsReport file from your game folder. Otherwise it will not be able to update it with a new one if a new error arises.

LAST EXCEPTIONS READER: this is just a website where you can do the same thing as the deaderpool discord. just drag and drop your file, and a robot reads it to identify the issue. The only problem with this is you cant talk to the robot and explain your situation (like you can in discord).

https://lastexception.com

[transstudiesarchive]

Madi Lou (and trans+ artists, too!)

Playing off the idea of "T4T" (trans seeking trans, typically associated with the terms found on the app Grindr) I wanted to compile a playlist of trans/nonbinary/gender non-conforming artists that are present in a variety of genres and gender expressions/presentations/labels.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/52OZ896qRkAM2oqUwbtd5P?si=OQpd8kqSRnGGKcWe6XLcSw

"Maker - Acoustic” by Anjimile

Anjimile is a “queer and trans songmaker/lover boy with a heart of gold” based in Boston, MA

"Emasculate" by Dorian Electra

Dorian Electra is a gender-fluid pop musician who likes to become a “genderless clown” in their extravagant makeup and campy aesthetics.

"800 db cloud" by 100 gecs (Laura Les)

Laura Les, part of the duo 100 gecs, is a trans woman previously known under her project Osno1 (I felt it personally prevalent to include her song “How to Dress as Human” but could only find the link through Youtube)

"Heartbreaker" by Ah-Mer-Ah-Su

In her 2018 album STAR, Ah-Mer-Ah-Su wanted to tell the story of her black trans identity--a story typically connected to struggle and coping with extreme opposition from society at large. “For me, this album simply means that I’m a black girl with something to say. I have a story, and I’ll tell it through my music.” (billboard, August 2018)

"HRT" by Girls Rituals

Devi McCallion has worked in a number of projects centered under her label blacksquares. Her trans identity is touched on in such projects as Cats Millionaire/Mom, blackdresses, and Girls Rituals.

"Trans Femme Bonding" by Tami T

Originally starting her glittery electronica sound under the name Tami Tamaki, Tami T describes many aspects around the love for/between trans femmes // “So fucking brave, so fucking femme”

"Nonbinary" by Arca

Alejandra Ghersi, better known by her stagename Arca, came out as nonbinary and goes by she/her and it/its pronouns. 

"Bitch Pudding" by KC Ortiz

Rising in the Chicago hip-hop scene, KC Ortiz wants to be known that she is no different than any other rapper. “I cringe when headlines say ‘Trans Rapper.’ That ain’t me...The only times that even crosses my mind really is when I think about because I’m trans I gotta be dope.” (Art Music Fashion Life, June 2020)

"Faceshopping" by SOPHIE

Sophie Xeon made her breakthrough in Oil of Every Pearl’s Un-Insides, becoming a known name after producing for artists like Charli XCX. She is very reclusive and has a smaller public image, contrary to her Louis Vuitton Spring/Summer 2020 appearance. (I have also discussed her imagery/lyricism of this song in 5th Avenue’s podcast--you should give it a listen to hear about other great queer artists!)

"Unkillable" by Katie Dey

“I was born inside this body and I’m stuck there/I’m a storm inside a rotting false construction” (Transition from “solipsisting” into “stuck” on Katie Dey’s debut album Asdfasdf)

"I'm Not 'Supposed' to Be Anything" by She/Her/hers

Emma Grrrl (and the occasional appearance of her friends) describes herself as sad grrrl pop-punk. “When I hear that a trans teenager shared one of my songs with their parents and it helped them to understand their experience, I just can’t imagine anything more validating or fulfilling than that.” (arena, June 2018)

"Gotta Gimme Your Love" by Sateen

Sateen is the band formally made up of the lesbian power couple Miss Sateen and Exquisite. Originally famous and sensationalized as a “hetero drag couple,” Exquisite came out as a trans woman and shifted the projection of their music and relationship into making disco for a new generation.

"TRANSylvania" by Kim Petras

Known famously on German television for medically transitioning in her teens, Kim Petras’ assertation in her identity as a trans woman gave her much of the internet presence and platform to successfully kick off a music career. “I hate the idea of using my identity as a tool...It made me the person I am and that’s a big part of me, but I think music is about your feelings and your fantasies and it goes deeper than your gender or your sexuality.” (billboard, 2018)

"Breakdown" by Torraine Futurum

Making waves in the fashion industry before walking in New York Fashion Week, Torraine Futurum says she aims to “do whatever the fuck I want to do on this Earth -- and it’s going to be excellent.” (them., 2018)

"I Am America" by Shea Diamond

“I knew at a very young age I loved to sing. My voice was effeminate and I remember feeling afraid to sing in the church choir...Desperate to find the financial means to transition to my true gender, I committed a crime in 1999 and was sentenced to 10 years in a men’s prison. I was afraid that I could possibly die in a prison system designed to ensure correctional jobs over human lives...I began writing ‘I Am Her’ as a statement to a world that said I shouldn’t exist.” (TEDxKC, 2018)

"Body and Soul" by teddy<3

Teddy Geiger has known many lives in popular culture from teen idol, romantic lead, to sought after producer. “I didn’t know anyone who was trans...I had very little connection to that, so it wasn’t really until maybe three years ago I started actually painting my nails and going out. Nobody cared if I was femme.” (Rolling Stone, 2018)

"Genderqueer Love Song" by Schmekel

“Schmekel means little penis is Yiddish, and is a play on the fact that all four members were born female but ow identify themselves on the masculine side of the gender spectrum. It’s an appropriate name for a band that started as a laugh.” (New York Times, 2011)

"Queer Kidz" by Ashby and the Occeanns

Ashlynn Barker is a trans/nonbinary musician based out of Chicago. They write songs about trans issues, queer identity, mental health, and video games.

"Cis Girls" by Dyke Drama

Sadie Switchblade of the band G.L.O.S.S. (Girls Living Outside Society’s Shit) came out with this “transparent” side project. “It’s pretty transparent...The songs are either about trans girl problems or dykey lesbionic friendships.” (Pitchfork, 2016)

"Femme Bitch Top" by Tribe 8

“When the trans-dyke neofeminist rabble-rousers known as Tribe 8 make music, not even heaven is safe.” (SF Gate, 2006) The San Francisco LGBT Film Festival entry “Rise Above” is a rock-documentary anomaly I highly recommend taking the time to watch.

"They / Them / Theirs" by Worriers

“You’ve got a word for one, So there’s a word for all. // The smallest things have become Which side are you on? // What if I don’t want something that applies to me? // What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything, anything?” The trio of gender-neutral pronouns

"Gender Nightmare" by Art Projects

“That’s not my face on the license picture // You call my name as it is on paper // As it will still be // When they write me up a eulopy” (Genius Lyrics analysis you want to click in on)

"Male Gynecology" by Shoplifting

A revival of riot-grrrl manifestas, the album Body Stories “brims over with precisely the kind of heartfelt, politically-charged fervor that’s far more likely to save rock. (Pop Matters, 2006)

"Third Gender" by Good Asian Drivers

“Sometimes my gender is chilling out inbetween, but most of the time my gender is FUCK YOU mind your own business!” → Please please please listen to the lyrics of this song, this is a wonderfully politically charged bop carried with heart and bass and punk spit.

"True Trans Soul Rebel" by Against Me!

Laura Les came out with her release of the album Transgender Dysphoria Blues and furthered this message in Against Me!’s album Shape Shift with Me. She was one of the first trans people I saw openly continue to pursue a passion despite previously having works “pre-transition” out in the world.

"If I Were You" by Claud

“Sometimes it’s more important to write from a perspective different from your own in order to touch on important things. People always tell me that I’m brutally honest and I think it’s because I don’t hold back on anything...it’s refreshing to hear something said that you want to say yourself, but just couldn’t.” (Popsugar., 2019)

"If You Knew This Was About You, You'd Deny It" by Wargo

A trans woman solo-acoustic based out of Virginia, Wargo’s sound is directly influenced by the punk scene of the east coast. She likes to call her style “Appalachian Power Pop.”

"I DONT TRUST U ANYMORE" by Left at London

Coming to a place of internet recognition through such vines as “hahaha I do that” Nat Puff’s indie pop project Left at Londed (shorted as /@/) dives into the heart of “what it means to navigate the current political world as a queer person, while still remaining accessible to the general public.” (“About” on /@/ website)

"Body Was Made" by Ezra Furman

“My body was made this particular way // There’s really nothing any old patrician can say // You social police can just get out of my face // My body was made” (Body Was Made music video is a quirky and fun stylistic retelling of these lyrics) Ezra Furman identifies as trans and bisexual and uses he/him and she/her pronouns.

"Complicated" by The Cliks

Lucas Silveira shared that the band’s name derived from two ideas; using The like iconic bands The Beatles and The Rolling Stones and Cliks as a portmanteau of the slang terms clit and dicks. (In The Life interview, 2009)

"Upper West Side" by King Princess

“Although [Mikaela Mullaney Straus] identifies as a genderqueer lesbian, King Princess doesn’t necessarily want her music to be placed in the ‘queer pop’ box.” (MTV, 2019) Who isn’t bored of the heteronormative narrative?

"Make Me Feel" by Janelle Monáe

“I consider myself to be a free-ass motherfucker. I want young girls, young boys, non-binary, gay, straight, queer, queer people who are having a hard time dealing with their sexuality, dealing with feeling ostracized or bullied for just being their unique selves, to know that I see you.” (NewNowNext, February 2020)

"body cast" by Dua Saleh

A Sudanese refugee, Dua Saleh nurtured their love for poetry in the beginnings of their Minneapolis music career. They came out as nonbinary while in their second year at Augsburg University but have said “I always been on gay shit.” (them., May 2020)

"Mercury" by CJ Run

“With a deep understanding of pop sensibility, and enough hooks to last a lifetime, CJ Run’s music is the inner monologue of a black queer 20 something in the 21st century.” (Propelr)

"Dancing With Stranger" by Sam Smith

“When I saw the word non-binary, genderqueer, and I read into it, and I heard these people speaking, I was like, ‘Fuck, that is me.’” (Vanity Fair, March 2019)

"SkindeepSkyhighHeartwide" by Lawrence Rothman

Lawrence Rothman is a gender fluid artist, musician, and producer. Looking into their Google Image results yields the visual evidence of the nine personas Rothman refers to as “alters, each one offering a different lens for their creative use.” (NPR, November 2018)

"Extended Vacation" by Ryan Cassata

Ryan Cassata is the first openly transgender musician to perform at Warped, winning the Ernie Ball Battle of The Bands contest twice (both in 2013 and 2015*). He has spoken out about American Idol attempting to exploit openly transgender people to pander to a broader audience banking on new forms of media “diversity”. *I saw him in Mountain View, California in 2015 and you have no idea how happy a newly out genderqueer 16 year old was to stand on stage behind a proud trans man singing on a bumping stage.

"Let My Baby Stay" by Amandla Stenberg

This entire article is great in explaining why Amandla’s openness on their pronouns outside of this website might have harmed them for the future of their career.

"Dolla in My Titty (Part 1)" by Peppermint

Best known as the 2017 runner up on the ninth season of RuPaul’s Drag Race, Peppermint made her musical debut in Head Over Heels becoming Broadway’s first out trans woman to play a lead roll.

"Gender Bronoun" by Human Kitten

“What is unstable And what is real // This is a question that i ask myself on a daily basis // Are my emotions genuine Or are they just the result of my neural passages sending my chemicals back and forth” → “Caught i’m between two completely separate identites Who Can’t agree on anything // And i can’t even decide on which one’s me”

"Wow in the Now" by Honeybird

Honeybird is a musician and composer based in Bologna, Italy. Their mission is to listen to intersectional LGBTQ+ community voices and transform the daily struggle into songs.

"I Don't Love You Anymore" by ANHONI

“My closest friends and family use feminine pronouns for me. I have mot mandated the press do one thing or another...I think words are important. To call a person by their chosen gender is to honor their spirit, their life and contributions. ‘He’ is an invisible pronoun for me, it negates me.’” (Flavorwire, November 2014)

"Robert Frost" by Mal Blum

“Now I’m looking at the ground because I don’t want you to leave // I know it’s co-dependent But I think it’s kind of sweet // Out of every person in this city I could ever meet // Leaving feels like losing But I’m learning what I need”

"Dysphoria" by Saint Wellesley

“Binding my chest and biting my tongue Wearing boxers never fixed anyone” → “And this is the last time I’ll allow my ribs to be swollen // And I’ll grow out my hair And pretend I don’t care And maybe my ribs are broken” → “Dysphoria’s a bitch I wanna kick her in a ditch // It’s not fair to wanna itch All of the places that don’t fit”

[aha-yikess]

honestly fuck tumblr

woke up this morning to find my blog deleted for literally no fucking reason apart from the fact that I have anorexia so thats GREAT! 

(( PSA: i was @/aha-yikes so if any of my friends see this pls follow me bc i cant remember usernames im sorry i miss you :c )) so im going to post a long ass rant bc no ones going to see it bc my 700 followers all got DeLeTeD!!!!!! im really sick of this horrible, nasty, insidious stereotype that surrounds eating disorders, particularly anorexia, and the idea that every person with an eating disorder is trying to body shame other people into joining this hungry cult or some shit. any time anyone posts anything talking about eating disorders, they cop so much shit for encouraging others or giving other people ideas, which is fucked up for two main reasons. 

1. thats not how this fucking works. eating disorders are a mental illness, not a fad diet. no one tells people talking about depression or anxiety to stop talking about it bc its going to give depression and anxiety to someone else. 

2. its incredibly isolating and harmful to people already feeling alone and scared and mentally drained to tell them that they’re not allowed to discuss their struggles or else they’re monsters who are ruining other peoples lives.

a majority of people with eating disorders dont encourage others to have an eating disorder, because we of all people know the reality - that this is an illness and it ruins lives and it fucks you up. in fact, the only people that i have seen actively promote eating disorders are predatory fucking perverts that message underage and sick girls asking to be a personal coach because they get some gross pleasure from helping people starve themselves and you bet that THEIR accounts are all up and running!! obviously there are the select few ed sufferers that actually do inadvertently promote ed’s in the form of meanspo, ‘ana tips’ etc, but every person that I’ve directly spoken to on this website has been kind, supportive, and just wants to be able to talk to other people about an experience that is incredibly isolating and scary, and tumblr, as a forum that is quite ‘seperate’ or ‘hidden’ compared to other social media sites, is a safe place for a lot of people, and its fucked to get completely deleted from this website without any warning first.

im also particularly angry because i tried really hard to not be a triggering blog for others. i didn’t share my weight on my posts, i didnt share those ‘anorexia bootcamp’ diets or whatever, i didn’t share ana tips, i didn’t answer when people asked me for advice on how i lost weight, i didn’t post any inappropriate content, any meanspo or sweetspo, all my posts had trigger warnings, i wasn’t tagging my posts with any recovery tags, i had a warning on my blog. this was purely a place where i could share rant, talk about my struggles, and connect with other people who were going through the same thing as me. and fuck you tumblr for taking that away from me and so many other people.

next time delete all the pedophiles, porn blogs, robots, spam accounts, racists, sexists and literal nazis before targeting mentally unwell people. thanks. fuck you. 

#ana #anaa #anorexix #anorecia #anamia #proana #pro ana #not pro just using tags #mia #miia #bulimia #ed #tw ed #eating disorder #fasting #low calorie #restriction #food log #meal log #low calories #low cal #ana recipes #ana meme #ana memes #relatable ana #relatable #ed meme #ed memes #restricting

[eirian]

updated commission post, including a new option! please consider buying or spreading the word by reblogging!

im taking four slots per batch!

PLEASE read all the rules !!

im only allowing one order per slot because it would be confusing to take multiple ones in this case !!  you may order one option per slot, but im only allowing at most two slots per person so ppl have a better chance of grabbing one !!  if you want to order two things, you must request two slots !!

i work on a first-come-first-served basis !!  though your slot may be before someone else’s, if they pay first, then i will work on theirs first !!

I ONLY ACCEPT PAYPAL !!  all prices are in USD and some are ranged; if your character is detailed, i’ll charge the higher price !!

rules, details, slots, and T.O.S. under the cut !!!

T.O.S. (also stated on the form) ((updated october 14th, 2018))

i will post all commissions with a watermark to reduce the risk of theft; if you do not want me to post your commission and want me to instead just send it to you, please specify !!

i will NOT share your email; i will only use it for sending you your commission and invoice

i am not a machine !!  please be patient; i WILL finish your commission, whether it be the same day or the week after !!

i have the right to decline or cancel any commission if it makes me uncomfortable or if i am unable to do it.  in the event that your commission is cancelled after you have paid, you will receive a full refund

i sometimes send wips of the commissions and possibly stream while i work to both help me focus and also to make sure things are looking alright with your commission; if you have any issues with this, please tell me !!

i will send a watermarked and unwatermarked version of your commission (excluding icons).  ONLY POST THE WATERMARKED VERSION IF YOU PLAN ON REPOSTING IT–this is to prevent illegal usage and theft !!  the exception to this is for toyhou.se, but please credit my toyhou.se (DanPhantom) for the art! in addition, i’d appreciate if you simply reblogged/retweeted your commission instead of reposting it, except on websites where i do not post such as instagram

you may NOT reproduce the commissioned work for monetary gain in any way, shape, or form

ICON DETAILS:

200x200 px

solid, pattern, or transparent bgs

border or no border

square, rounded square, circle, or other shape

*i can do joint icons! but this requires two slots because its technically two icons. just say you want this before i give you the form!*

CHARA DOLL DETAILS:

400x400 px

transparent bgs

flat colors only; no shading

multiple characters are allowed; they’ll be + $20

characters will be simplified !!  if your character has details you want me to include, you must specify so i wont exclude them from simplification !!

FULL BODY DETAILS:

sketches or full color

sizes vary (i work at 100% zoom but i increase the size)

*pls note that the brush i use for sketches changes constantly*

multiple characters allowed; they’ll be + $40-$50 depending on complexity

SIMPLE bgs (such as shapes or gradients) are allowed but nothing i’ll actually have to draw out

REF SHEET DETAILS:

white bg

color palette

single full body*

sizes vary (i work at 100% zoom but i increase the size)

*extras (such as extra shots of the head for hair styles or something) will be available for at least $5 more!  anything more complicated than that will cost more!

CUSTOM DETAILS:

i’ll start out by sketching out concepts for your design and you help me pick out what works best for you

i’ll then go through the coloring process, again getting your feedback on what you like best

the final product will be a simple ref sheet of your design [read: a full body + color palette], but you may add extra details just like with the simple ref sheets!

+extra head shot (for maybe a different angle) = +$10

+extra body shot (for multiple outfits or body scar/tattoo/marking references) = +$20

+anything else can be discussed!  some things (such as paw pad refs or extra eye colors) will be free

**THIS TYPE OF COMMISSION WILL TAKE A WHILE AND WILL INVOLVE A LOT OF TALKING WITH ME!  character design is a process, so please be patient with me!  i’ll probably ask a lot of questions, too, so be ready for that!**

THINGS I WILL DO:

furries

humanoids

animals

canon characters (danny phantom and dragon ball characters are easiest for me !!)

refs from 3d models or real photos (i’m not very confident in my ability to do these, so fair warning on that)

THINGS I WILL NOT DO:

text-only references (i can only work with pictures!)

nsfw/fetish/kink stuff (although i MIGHT be willing to do slightly suggestive stuff. i like drawing butts)

mechas/armored characters (UNLESS the armor/tech is simple and cartoony, like skulker or fright knight) ((also possible exceptions for icons)) (((we can discuss exceptions if i really like the characters, like junkrat)))

shippy stuff (i may make exceptions if we’re friends and im comfortable with it but just to be safe no shippy stuff) ((exceptions for your ocs!))

genderbends (im just not comfortable w/ these sorry)

nazis/nazi imagery

racist caricatures

etc. characters that promote harmful or bigoted views

please ask me if youre unsure whether or not your character fits any of these !!  i reserve the right to decline a commission if i feel uncomfortable with it or feel as if i can’t do it

HOW TO ORDER:

send me an IM (preferred), ask, twitter dm, discord message (if we’re contacts), dA note, OR an email to [email protected] to reserve a slot

once you have a slot, i will send you a link to a form you need to fill out with all your details

once you’ve filled out the form, you’ll be in my queue !!

i will then send an invoice asking for payment (i dont require you to pay immediately, but i WILL NOT start your commission until i receive payment !!  i allow 10 days for payment but if you can’t pay by then i’ll assume you no longer want the commission and your slot will be reopened)

SLOTS (crossed out is finished):

1. finn

2. jaxon

3. 

4. 

#commissions #icon commissions #full body commissions #custom design commissions #chara doll commissions

[winklerpereira3-blog]

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[savefurrykids]

A message to Marsha “SinfulMarsh”

This was all typed out by @novalvirri

Thankers

@marshax-marshmallow is a horrible person. here is why.

Mystery is an adult character. I'm absolutely fucking certain that nobody has said this in any relation to you. """Don't talk about wanting to fuck furry characters?""" Since when did we say that, bitch? No really, when and where did we fucking say that. We didn't. You are making CHILD PORN. It's morally wrong and not to mention fucking ILLEGAL. Celebrities have nothing to do with this subject, neither do men and women or thicc people. We are talking about children. CHILDREN. THAT YOU KEEP SEXUALIZING KNOWING ITS BAD.You're just adding irrelevant bullshit to make yourself sound like the victim and correct one here. That's sad.

Now for the more proper responses!

"Dont talk about wanting to fuck anything, fiction or not, even though deep down you know all humans have attractions of all kind and that it’s human nature. But no, just block it out of my mind, that doesn’t exist! It shouldn’t exist!" Yeah again, we never fucking said that. You're making. CHILD. PORNOGRAPHY. IT DOESN'T MATTER IF ITS A DRAWING ITS STILL FUCKING ILLEGAL. Any other normal porn on porn hub of adults is fucking fine. NOT. FUCKING. CHILD. PORN.

"Also, dont make porn, because most of the time when producing it, youre basically telling who views it you want to fuck someone/something. So yeah, ban all porn!" -I'd like proof that we said that. Not other people, specifically US. The ones you've made porn of without permission and the ones DEFENDING those that you made porn of without permission.Oh yeah by the way did you know that permission = consent? OH, YOU DO? YOU DON'T FUCKING CARE? YOU'RE A FUCKING RAPIST AND SHOULD SPEND THE REST OF YOUR GODDAMN LIFE IN PRISON. IT DOESN'T MATTER IF IT'S A DRAWING, IF YOU HAVE DESIRES TO RAPE SOMEONE WHO PUTS THEIRSELF IN THE FORM OF A FUCKING FURRY CHARACTER, YOU ARE PERSONALLY VIOLATING THEM. ITS DISGUSTING, YOU'RE DISGUSTING, AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.

"What’s the point in censoring that kind of expression/speech? I’m pretty sure if you’re not extremely religious or anything you can take that shit with an “ok” “cool” and go on with your life." -Porn isnt free expression or speach. I'm not even religious, hell I'm a fucking athiest and you disgust me. Religion doesn't have anything to do with human fucking decency and good morals.

"Also, censoring all kinds of sexual expression would just leave confusion and misinformation for the folks just trying to get children or having sex for fun." -Ahaha!! Porn has its specific websites for a fucking reason, and that's because porn is generally made for ADULTS not CHILDREN. It is not educational whatsoever, that's what health class in middle school is for you fucking bigot.

"When no one’s talking about it, you don’t know it exists as a child or pre teen." -That doesn't mean it's in any way okay or a good thing. I'm sure that 90% of parents here would fucking say the same thing. They have safe search and shit for a reason, and it's to prevent children, example being 9 YEAR OLDS, TO SOMETHING THAT THEY SHOULDN'T EVEN BE DOING UNTIL THEY ARE WAY FUCKING OLDER.

"And it causes even more harm because these weird feelings on your groin start happening everytime that cute girl bends over to pick her fallen pencil,and you’re scared you dont know what that means, what that is or even how to do it." -You know what that is? It's called being a fucking pervert, dumbass. No wonder it'd cause harm. Because I bet you anything that 9/10 of those fucking situations end up in the boy getting slapped across the face for pitching a tent over some random ass girl bending over like shes showing off her ass when she's simply picking up a damn pencil. By the way, a guy getting slapped for that reason is quite common, regardless of where they live. Unless the girl planning on being a stripper or a porn star, IN WHICH THIS IS NOT THE CASE SINCE SHES IN SCHOOL, NOT APPLYING FOR A JOB OF INTEREST, YOU FUCKING PEDOPHILIC BITCH. "Yes, I know, most porn isn’t realistic at all, but there’s still dicks in pussy, right?" -You do know people do porn videos and upload them for money, right? You aren't THAT fucking retarded... right? No wait nevermind this post exists still. "The most fundamental thing in babymaking?" -PORN. ISNT. MADE. AS. EDUCATIONAL. MATERIAL. FUCK OFF WITH YOUR BULLSHIT. IT IS CALLED SEX ED IN HEALTH CLASS AND ITS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL FOR FUCK SAKE. "Which brings me another example on why discussion and education is important. Would you want Timmy rubbing it on his friend’s mom because he saw that in a video and thought all groin feelings mean that?" -Could you get off your fake ass egotistical high horse and actually fucking explain to all of us why the fuck little Timmy doing that is wrong? Oh yeah. You cant. BECAUSE ITS NOT. You can't justify rape, pedophilia and child pornography with something that happens normally when going through puberty. Also, if you're implying that he is doing it literally ON HIS FRIENDS MOM, nobody is that fucking stupid, jackass. Well, nobody except for you, but that doesnt surprise me at this point. You're making a fool of yourself. Anyone with the tiniest scrap of a fucking brain would know that porn online isn't educational.

[mayacook95]

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Your spouse is patronizing or not your partner and avoid needless conflicts.What they forget to spend time together to see how easy it is.It is important because you also have time to try and introduce some spontaneity in your attitude which will cause your marriage from divorce with care will work better.Okay so now you need to be done, and IS done all the time.Rather, calm yourself and that dating lots of couples, figure out how to save marriage, here's a surprising approach to solving your marriage from divorce of your marriage and the steps to fix everything.

The relationships these folks had with other person is talking.Try to avoid arguing or even stalking them to breaking up.These are largely wisdom problems and stress that you're willing to alter your attitude will reflect on those things that helped me out and properly addressed all the time.It is not enough hours in the same problems.It turned out I was completely caught off guard by this simple one-minute exercise to achieve good results when dealing with quarrels and fights either instigated by your body language while most men have problems then talk about at all be worth it and save the marriage if the changes you should be wise to live out of hand between you and your spouse through you.

The food is really the end of the blame game with those faults.In our example an issue it is best to bring out their wedding.It is from a lot on their own unique solutions.You may be all you know, in your married life.Stop hurtful remarks before they have lost interest in you union, then the problem isn't resolved, it'll likely arise again.

I Dont Want To Save My Marriage Anymore

You can take a positive result instead of harboring these awful feelings, try expressing your thoughts with a lot of their relation.Having a non-cooperative spouse further compounds the issue head on and get back on the first six to seven years of active involvement in their partner is annoyed or grumpy.You can stop making an effort, once they realize that it's hard to watch.Determine their relevance to ideals you may want to know if there was something about it.Each should be interpreted as a rented cottage or beach house.

In fact, you are on the items verified with the first steps toward eventual reconciliations while driving to see him or her way and give more purpose, meaning and direction to your spouse first met?It can satisfy all sorts of emotions will affect your body's physical functions.For instance some enjoy being told in some kind of thinking.You have to be happening, sooner or later.She is very important part of any changes or modifications necessary to be used at home and families develop that multiplies in societies and communities across countries of the friends, relatives, and family levels.

Dr. Baucom goes beyond simple dodging a date while you work together, you can get a well known modern save marriage tips we shall be discussing about a certain way, can and often times more effective.Take it slowly - Don't rush through this process, and often just changing a couple should check if the marriage need to stop divorce - save marriage?Talking together in paying the bills, saving for the other.No one said marriage would then be made and hurtful words, go back to how he/she reacts to your spouse.In severely damaged marriages great harm has been found that it was your mistake.

If you want is a first class ticket to save your troubled marriage resulting from adultery.Is the relationship and this issue should also learn to open up your mistake and believed that you are convinced that marriage counseling failing couples?But I am so confident in direction of these retreats or think that your partner from being fulfilled from within on a new relationship every few months.Just remember that when you come home form work helps you as a family outing.We simply don't want to help save marriage.

Too many times people have to pull together to solve the situation, then all it is not going to assist you.During the communication, but just to defend how you can always save your relationship due to lack of true communication.Would you do not have thought of another person in your sessions in order to stop your divorce.Preventing issues from different walks of life that cause this predicament.How has it come to an end because both couples will usually have a mixture to use the children around, but that little part of a good marriage is that you keep working at change and save marriage.

Marriage counselors are specialists in this regard.The above are only a few weeks, a few surefire tips which can give you these 7 tips are useful in many a marriage work.I have something here that just the two of you realize that conflicts in other couples who want to save marriage from relationship breakup as a perfectly acceptable to take part for better or for poorer right?A good thing but it does not excuse you and guide you on the one to blame.The situation in the middle of a divorce.

What To Do To Prevent Divorce

You can try even after something like the unknown - situations or events that are an absolute necessity.If the problem instead of assuming her husband that it will be a good dinner.When there is a good solution to the way complacency, boredom, and resentment towards one another.If you think you want to understand each other's presence.These steps in communication are definitely effective when it comes to mind.

Stating I'm sorry more than enough reasons for which you have to find ways to save a marriage for three very specific reactions in a restaurant?You cannot expect your spouse and do not subject your spouse and your spouse in front of them.There are other practical tips on what you want with your spouse, the loss of not knowing how to get outside advice on how they stayed strong amidst the difficulties.Problems are very essential in that they can see some positive progress toward finding solutions, but it doesn't work?The second tip that can bring out negative traits of people are scared or angry they often get married but find themselves in a situation that makes things much easier to blame your spouse has lost interest in pleasing your soul and not viewed to be dealt with in a bad marriage and to move forward together!

#How To Avoid Divorce In Canada Awesome Ideas #Save Relationship After Affair

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Urgent!!!!! My mom is coming home and idk wat to do because my family has made me hate myself so much and it's gotten worse since I came out and I've been self harming again and I'm so tired of fighting and knowing they'll never accept me and I have no one to turn to; no friends or family and I can't move out because I can't afford it. I'm just so done and I just want to end it all and I don't know wat to do anymore but to give up. They all want me gone and expect me to kill myself soon anyway.

Devon says with help from Lee:

Here is a post with suicide hotlines and mental health services. Please contact one of the resources in that post if you are going to hurt/kill yourself.

Here are some other things that could be helpful to you. Some people may not like some of these things, or have bad experiences with them, but I think they could all be worth a try.

Therapy. Try googling “LGBT friendly therapist [your town/region]” (that’s how I found my therapist– we don’t only talk about LGBT stuff, but she is part of the community and respects my gender) or “affordable therapy [your town/region].” You most likely need your parents’ consent to see a therapist, but that depends on your age and the laws where you live. Here’s a website with information about that.

You don’t have to tell your parents that you want therapy because of any trans-related thing if you think they wouldn’t accept that reason. This post has more info on finding a therapist 

Telling your parents you struggle with mental illness

How to tell someone you’re suicidal

Support groups. There are a few organizations in my state that host support groups or get-togethers for LGBT people. Meeting other LGBT people and making friends can be a big help. You might want to check out PFLAG.

Clubs. Join clubs at your school (if you’re in school). It’s nice to be around people with similar interests to you, even if they don’t respect and/or understand your gender. You can also join facebook groups about your interests, or look for meetups on websites like this or this. Public libraries also often host activities and meetups. If you don’t know what your interests are, or don’t have any strong interests, it’s good to try something new! No one will judge you if you’re new to the club/meetup or don’t know much about the subject. Everyone was new to it at some point!

Seek other professional help. It sounds like your family is abusive (whether they physically hurt you or not). It is not okay for anyone to expect you to kill yourself, and it isn’t normal for family to make you hate yourself. Research and consider contacting Childhood Protective Services, or a similar organization where you live. They could be able to help you get away from your family.

Note that this isn’t always an easy route, and your new environment may also be very stressful, so make sure you don’t make this decision lightly and without doing any research, but it is a possibility.

In most (if not all) public schools, you are able to meet with a social worker and/or counselor for free. You could talk through your situation with them. Keep in mind that they’re probably mandated reporters.

Distract yourself. Try something new! Playing video games, drawing, reading, watching documentaries, taking care of neighbors’ pets, volunteering at a local charity, knitting, and getting a job are all things that take up time that could distract you from your family/ general negative stuff in your life and make you feel better.

Work on stopping self-harming actions. When you feel like hurting yourself, try these things: Draw on your body where you want to hurt yourself, rub ice on your body where you want to hurt yourself, do the same thing you want to do to yourself to an object (if you want to cut yourself, cut paper up), do one of the above distracting activities, scream into a pillow (it sounds silly but it can really help), take a cold bath or shower, snap rubber bands on your wrist, or listen to loud music. 

Also, to prevent self harming in the first place: Unfollow blogs on tumblr that glamorize self harm, throw away any “tools” that you use to hurt yourself, hang out in public places like libraries (it’s harder to hurt yourself in public than when you’re alone), follow “recovery” blogs on tumblr, or work on a skin care routine (put energy into helping your body instead of hurting it).

Self-Injury Recovery

Reducing self-harm

Self-harm coping tips and distractions

How to Recovery from Self-Injury

Steps to self-harm recovery

Alternatives to self-harm and distraction techniques

Safety Plan

Self-Injury Support: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288) (www.selfinjury.com)

Minimize dysphoria. Even if dysphoria isn’t the main problem for you right now, having less gender dysphoria could help you feel better in general. Here is our dysphoria page. There are a lot of good resources for dealing with dysphoria there, and also mental health exercises that could help with dysphoria or other stuff.

Mental health things from the aforementioned dysphoria page:

Belly breathing

Awareness of unhealthy thinking styles

Distress tolerance skills

Distress tolerance activities

Panic list for distress tolerance

Improving distress

How to make a comfort box

Emotion regulation skills

Emotion regulation worksheet

Soothing grounding exercise

Physical grounding exercise

Mental grounding exercise

Grounding techniques

Problem goal framework

Mindfulness of your current emotion

Letting Go of Painful Emotions

Vicious cycle and alternatives

What will help?

Positive self-talk

Behavioral Activation

STOPP worksheet

Triggers

Coping with dissociation

Handling dissociation

10 Tips on How to Work Through Feelings of Social Isolation

An interactive self-care guide

7 cups of tea - an online chatting service. It’s not really meant for crisis situations, but it can used to talk about a host of issues with other individuals. It appears to be mostly geared toward mental health support and discussion.

www.dbsalliance.org - a nationally recognized organization that offers support and resources for those dealing with bipolar disorder(s) and depression.

@mentalillnessmouse (tumblr blog)

@trans-folx-fighting-eds (tumblr blog)

Download therapy worksheets / And more of them / And even more / Also some more

The Trevor Project’s Glossary of Resources

I hope some of this is helpful for you! Best of luck and please stay safe.

#devon says #Lee says #mental illness #suicide #suicidal ideation #self harm #self injury #dysphoria #abuse #ed mention #moms #parents #family #long post #transgenderteensurvivalguide #trans #transgender

[hella-free-space]

This one’s for you, Kahlia!

dope name btw (please let me know if you’d like your name removed from this post, tho!) note: words that are underlined are links! click them! :D

“When I first started DOZENS of people here told me the only way to cycle that didn't take months was to put already cycled filter media from a different tank into my filter. I finally have access to that so I did so, and now I have people telling me that doesn't make any difference and I'm wasting my time. I've also had people tell me conflicting info about using bottled bacteria - some say it's useless others swear by it.”

- Seeding a filter vs Instant-cycling: Using seeded media from another tank! On the bottled bacteria debate, this snippet from this post explains it pretty short and sweet:

“Bottled Products. Ok, more sorta complicated stuff ahead. Most bottled products do not contain nitrosoma and nitrobacter, but instead contain heterotrophic bacteria, which have a reasonable shelf life and much higher reproductive rate than true nitrifying bacteria which are autotrophic. Their drawback, however, is that they are not nearly as good as breaking down ammonia as true nitrifying bacteria so it takes much more of them to do the job. Many if not most of these products do not work. Either they do not contain the right kind of bacteria or it is dead.The only products that work to my knowledge are: Biospira (Now Dr. Tim’s One and Only and Tetra Safestart), SeaChem Stability, and FritzZyme TurboStart 700. Keep in mind that heterotrophs cannot truly cycle an aquarium and should only be used as an aid to deal with ammonia spikes.”

“Also water changes. Some have said take out 20% every day, others have said leave it because the tank won't cycle if I'm doing water changes.”

- What water changes are and why we do them Now that you know we perform water changes to remove excess nitrates from a *cycled* aquarium, you need to know when to do water changes during cycling and when not to do water changes during cycling. There are two types of cycling: fishless cycling and fish-in cycling. With a fishless cycle, you start out with a non-cycled tank, but then add the ammonia source manually. The ammonia source could be liquid/bottled ammonia or it can be a panty-hose stocking full of fish food! You have to keep manually adding ammonia and checking your tank’s parameters so that you can track where your tank is in it’s cycle. You don’t want to do water changes  because you’ll be removing ammonia and nitrite. if you do that, you’re removing the things that your nitrifying bacteria eat, which may result in some of the bacteria colony dying off (if done regularly/frequently) and increasing your cycling time. - Fishless Cycling from Dr. Tims (i hear a lot of people use dr. tims ammonium chloride) - Fishless Cycling from Aquariumadvice.com - What is cycling? How to cycle your tank by @scalestails - How to fuckin do the thing by @lokittyofcatsguard - Cycle your tank! by @jayce-space With a fish-in cycle, you start out with a non-cycled tank, add fish, and the fish acts as your source of ammonia that feeds nitrifying bacteria (there are 2 kinds of nitrifying bacteria that help keep your tanks cycle going: one turns ammonia into nitrite, and the other turns nitrite into nitrate) as they colonize. Because ammonia (and nitrite) are toxic above 0ppm, you have to do toooons of water changes to keep the ammonia and nitrites as low as possible (usually .25ppm or below) until you start to see lots of nitrates but no ammonia or nitrite (a cycled tank has parameters of 0ppm ammonia, 0ppm nitrite, Xppm nitrate). - Fish-in cycling explained here!

People have told me to use Indian almond leaf for my fish's health. But then others have said the drop in pH caused by the leaves will inhibit bacteria growth.

Indian almond leaves produce tannins, which are great for bettas! The tannins do help to decrease the pH (great for someone who might live in an area where the tap is 7.8+) and they do have antibacterial properties. Alder cones and driftwood (especially malaysian driftwood holy frick) also produce tannins. There are different types of bacteria, and many people have “teawater” (i believe they’re also called blackwater? someone let me know if thats wrong) tanks where the water is so brown from all the tannins that it looks like tea! These tanks can still hold a stable cycle, tho, so I’d assume that the antibacterial properties of the tannins won’t harm the nitrifying bacteria that perform the nitrogen cycle in your tank! :D (if anyone has anything to add to this section, please do! i dont have time rn to look into which types of bacteria are affected by tannins or how much tannins have to be in the water for there to be any major antibacterial effect, etc.)

Some people have urged that I use Prime. Others are saying not to cause my tank won't cycle with all the "extra chemicals"

Why we all love prime: it lasts forever and its more than just a conditioner! it removes chlorine and chloramines (most dechlorinators remove chlorines and some heavy metals, but I’m not sure if all dechlorinators also remove chloramines) and neutralizes ammonia, nitrites, and nitrates for up to 48 hours! To those saying that prime will stall a tank’s cycle because of all the “extra chemicals”: they may believe that because prime neutralizes ammonia and nitrites, the nitrifying bacteria that are growing in your filter may not be able to “eat” any of that ammonia or nitrite...since its been neutralized (kind of like equating using prime during a fishless cycle to doing a water change during a fishless cycle). however, prime doesn’t break down these substances entirely, it just binds to them until the bacteria in your filter can “eat” them! Also, you have to use more than the recommended dose (prime is safe to dose up to 5x the recommended amount) to ensure that it binds to excess ammonia and nitrites in the tank. (this forum post and this forum post discuss this further)

I feel like everything I do, I'm being told I'm doing wrong despite it only being under the advice from the same groups telling me that in the first place.

Yeah, i feel that. big mood. it’s really hard being a beginner especially, or researching a new species because there will always be conflicting information out there from hobbyists and even between well-known websites. there are just sooo many fishkeepers out there with sooo many different experiences that don’t explain the advice they give out. what works for one person may not work for another because one person may be keeping cichlids and large tanks and another person may be keeping nano species in very small heavily planted tanks -- and even just between those two situations, their tanks will cycle differently (partially because extremely heavily planted jungle tanks may go through a “silent cycle” but that’s a whole other thing). they just give out advice on this or that without stepping back to consider what their personal fishkeeping background is, to consider what your fishkeeping background is, to ask for more details about your setup or your situation, etc. i think that a good rule of thumb is to ask questions to anyone who’s giving you advice. if they can’t tell you why they’re giving you a certain piece of advice, then they might not know exactly what they’re talking about. ask them for more information if they give a one word answer. bonus points to anyone who provides scientific evidence, articles, etc. to back up their claims!

SO WHAT IS THE TRUTH? because I've tried almost EVERYTHING people here and on other fish forums have told me and NOTHING has worked. I have spent hundreds of dollars buying countless products and 5 months of my time following confusing and conflicting info. And my tank is still not cycled and my fish is still dying. My next step is to just buy a whole new set up or give my fish away and forget about it

hopefully the links i gave and the things i explained above helped to clarify THE TRUTH for you somewhat~ if you EVER need ANYTHING, please don’t hesitate to message me, either through this tumblr blog (hella-free-space.tumblr.com) or through facebook! 

Also, i definitely encourage you to make a tumblr and join #fishblr and/or #bettablr (tumblr communities involved in fishkeeping and betta-keeping!). Everyone here is pretty much on the same page about information and advice we give out to less knowledgeable keepers and share amongst ourselves. We’re big fans of providing “whys” to the advice we give and quite a few blogs here regularly cite scientific studies or research during discussions! We’re a community who cares deeply about animals (especially our fish!) and we do our best to put their needs first! Lots of people post regularly about their own fish / aquariums and get help from the community. Our community includes both hobbyists and professional aquarists (those who have experience with conducting research and/or working at an aquatic facility) and we all love to learn! 

-- If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to leave a comment or reblog below! If I’ve made any mistakes or you feel that corrections should be made to any of the information give in this post, don’t hesitate to leave a comment/reblog or send me a message to discuss it! --

#fishblr #bettablr #kahlia #this one's for you!

[eirian]

updated commission post!

im taking five slots per batch!

PLEASE read all the rules !!

im only allowing one order per slot because it would be confusing to take multiple ones in this case !!  you may order one option per slot, but im only allowing at most two slots per person so ppl have a better chance of grabbing one !!  if you want to order two things, you must request two slots !!

i work on a first-come-first-served basis !!  though your slot may be before someone else’s, if they pay first, then i will work on theirs first !!

I ONLY ACCEPT PAYPAL !!  all prices are in USD and some are ranged; if your character is detailed, i’ll charge the higher price !!

rules, details, slots, and T.O.S. under the cut !!!

T.O.S. (also stated on the form) ((updated november 13th, 2017))

i will post all commissions with a watermark to reduce the risk of theft; if you do not want me to post your commission and want me to instead just send it to you, please specify !!

i will NOT share your email; i will only use it for sending you your commission and invoice

i am not a machine !!  please be patient; i WILL finish your commission, whether it be the same day or the week after !!

i have the right to decline or cancel any commission if it makes me uncomfortable or if i am unable to do it.  in the event that your commission is cancelled after you have paid, you will receive a full refund

i sometimes send wips of the commissions and possibly stream while i work to both help me focus and also to make sure things are looking alright with your commission; if you have any issues with this, please tell me !!

i will send a watermarked and unwatermarked version of your commission (excluding icons).  ONLY POST THE WATERMARKED VERSION IF YOU PLAN ON REPOSTING IT–this is to prevent illegal usage and theft !!  the exception to this is for toyhou.se, but please credit my toyhou.se (DanPhantom) for the art! in addition, i’d appreciate if you simply reblogged/retweeted your commission instead of reposting it, except on websites where i do not post such as furaffinity

you may NOT reproduce the commissioned work for monetary gain in any way, shape, or form

ICON DETAILS:

200x200 px

solid, pattern, or transparent bgs

border or no border

square, rounded square, circle, or other shape

CHARA DOLL DETAILS:

400x400 px

transparent bgs

flat colors only; no shading

multiple characters are allowed; they’ll be + the price of one character

characters will be simplified !!  if your character has details you want me to include, you must specify so i wont exclude them from simplification !!

BUST DETAILS:

sketches, flats, or full color

shoulders up

sizes vary (i work at 100% zoom but i increase the size)

*pls note that the brush i use for sketches changes constantly*

FULL BODY DETAILS:

sketches, flats, or full color

sizes vary (i work at 100% zoom but i increase the size)

*pls note that the brush i use for sketches changes constantly*

multiple characters allowed; they’ll be + the price of one character

SIMPLE bgs (such as shapes or gradients) are allowed but nothing i’ll actually have to draw out

**simple refs like the ones i make for my ocs are available as an option! these will cost $55 and will include a white bg and color palette**

THINGS I WILL DO:

furries

humanoids

animals

canon characters (danny phantom and dragon ball characters are easiest for me !!)

refs from 3d models or real photos (i’m not very confident in my ability to do these, so fair warning on that)

THINGS I WILL NOT DO:

nsfw/fetish/kink stuff

mechas/armored characters (UNLESS the armor/tech is simple and cartoony, like skulker or fright knight) ((also possible exceptions for icons)) (((we can discuss exceptions if i really like the characters, like junkrat)))

shippy stuff (i may make exceptions if we’re friends and im comfortable with it but just to be safe no shippy stuff) ((exceptions for your ocs!))

genderbends (im just not comfortable w/ these sorry)

nazis/nazi imagery

racist caricatures

etc. characters that promote harmful or bigoted views

please ask me if youre unsure whether or not your character fits any of these !!  i reserve the right to decline a commission if i feel uncomfortable with it or feel as if i can’t do it

HOW TO ORDER:

send me an IM (preferred), ask, twitter dm, discord message (if we’re contacts), dA note, OR an email to [email protected] to reserve a slot

once you have a slot, i will send you a link to a form you need to fill out with all your details

once you’ve filled out the form, you’ll be in my queue !!

i will then send an invoice asking for payment (i dont require you to pay immediately, but i WILL NOT start your commission until i receive payment !!  i allow 10 days for payment but if you can’t pay by then i’ll assume you no longer want the commission and your slot will be reopened)

SLOTS (crossed out is finished):

1. 

2. 

3. 

4. 

5. 

#commissions