#i dont remember how the tags on this blog works anymore but oh well

[marilynthornhilllover]

🥂🎉End of year statements 2023🎉🥂

Alright so, where do I start. I know you guys are probably reading this and your probably like " omg why is this random girl tagging me in her post"💀😭 sorry if I'm misjudging, but last year I did an end of year statement on my Instagram it was one for editors ( the editing community) , so me and my friends kinda made it a tradition👍🏼😅.

- { Inspiration }

Honestly when I first started this tumblr account I had no intentions of making fanfics or even being " a writer" I had a wattpad account that I ditched because i simply got tired💀 so my friend @slut4milfsss who is no longer active told me she started an account for marilyn Thornhill, where she's gonna be writing fics, and if you can't tell by my name already I love marilyn, so I created an account and decided to support her and then she told me I should start writing, obviously I told her NO, but after I gave it a thought and then I started writing.

Now if you go wayyyyy back to my very first fic to be honest it wasn't that bad💀but it was bad, over time I got better but still😐....When I first started the first three blogs I followed was @regalbootie @daydream-cement and @littledollll and oh. My. GODD everytime I read their fics I felt as if I was in HEAVEN, their so talented and so very well creative and to me they were just perfect writing Gods. Then I followed @cissyenthusiast010155 and @v3nusxsky and I swore I died because again their fanfics were completely amazing and phenomenal and so well put together and it was crazy how realistic the fanfic seemed, it was like they made it come to life and then your imagination does the rest. From theses extraordinary and inpowering writers I found my inspiration to write and for them I'm honestly so thankful because I would have not been writing fics.

Guys I'm so sorry for the random tag, i dont wanna seem creepy 😭. but anyway I love you guys so much and please continue to shine your light and do keep writing because you guys are epic!<3.

Of course then I followed other amazingly talented writers such as @abbyromanoff @brienneoftarth1989 @willalovexx @prentiss-theorem @ilovehugslikealotalot @inlovewithgreta @daddy-heather-dunbar @m1lfsh4ke @m1lflov3rrr @yellowjacketsgayfanfic @agnessharknes @storiesofsvu and honestly the list goes on😮‍💨 but as we go into this new year I just wanted to show my gratitude for theses writers because they are truly amazing!<3.

Also to @geistergreen and @vivendraws because I love your arts!!! So creative!!

And of course to @resident-lover for blessing us with that scrumptious amazing game of theirs. ( I'm obsessed with Miranda's , Cassandra's and alcinas route)

Alright, moving on.

- { Mutuals }

I have some of the best mutuals on here and I'm so eternally grateful for them, they're so supportive and kind and loving. And I honestly couldn't ask for better friends than them, so I just wanna say thank you to @willalovexx @willowshadenox @prentiss-theorem @luisa323 @ilovehugslikealotalot @tryingmybest233333 @heidsworld @m1lfsh4ke I honestly couldn't be more thankful for you guys, when I get notifications that you liked my post, comment or messaged me I get so happy, you guys are just so cute and adorable and so wholesome, thank you for being by my side and I'm always here if you need me<3

- { account and followers }

I celebrated my first 1 year tumblr account anniversary on the 10th and I honestly couldn't be more grateful to be able to write fanfics for you guys and make content. I get so happy and excited when I see a fanfic requests might I add that you guys are extremely wild with your imagination, because some of the requests I get are beyond amazing and so well put together and well taught of and I'm so happy and grateful that I get to write them for you guys. Just remember all requests are seen and I will do them also about thoses kinkmas requests, i know it's not Christmas anymore but I will still be working on them and I will post them, just give me some time.<3.

When I tell you guys being a badged psychologist is not easy believe me💀the amount of notes is unbelievable sometimes I feel like my hand is gonna drop off because my fingers become sore and I can't even type😐sooo yeah, also I have my office now, honestly so happy!!! Although I'm still majoring in forensic for a couple more years🙄ugh anyways.

I hope you all enjoy your 2024 ( new year ) I hope it's kind to you all, I hope there is a lots of opportunities in store for you guys, love especially, peace and just everything that your hoping and wishing for, goodnight!<3

#announcement #I APOLOGIZE FOR ALL RANDOM TAGS ❗️❤️❤️ #fypシ゚viral #HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE #love #fanfic #fanfic writers #writers love #writers post

[geffenrecords]

I still would like to see your stuff about diary of a wimpy kid. hand it over 🫴🏽

oh boy um. okay. so i hauvent posted abt them in a long time but i imagine if youve followed me for long enuf you remember....and boy theres a lot to sayhere

so the context is that like when i was like 14..me & my at the time best friend became just like. obsessed with the diary of a wimpy kid movies. and im dead serious we were obsessed with them. we watched them all the time and talked about them for hours. like im straight up we loved these movies. my only possible defense for what was up with me is that i was really anorexic haha so i was really weird in the head. but anyways, obviously mostly people only talk about those movies because they like rodrick and well looks around yeah. but also ☝️ we were retired glee kids. my friend had previously been the biggest fan of the warblers from glee (who altogether have maybe 8 minutes of screentime) and we were retired newsies fans. we were really cringey fandom kids still & we were really really good at loving total nothing background characters. so !

if you pay attention. in the first movie rodricks band consists of 1 redhead kid on guitar, some emo kid, and some other random guy. in rodrick rules/dog days, his band is two guys named ben and chris (plus bill in rodrick rules and some random kid they found for dog days). chris doesnt have any lines i dont think but he is there a lot in rodrick rules. i dont have any evidence but im like 79% sure he was definitely high during the filming. and if he wasnt hes really good at acting it. ben does have lines though :-) in rodrick rules he and rodrick drive rowley and greg home and discuss what song theyre going to perform at the talent show and he says "dude we'll get to go backstage" at the party scene.

um. anyways yeah. we made them into what was pretty much our own characters and gave them a whole story which is so long and. in all honesty i just forgot so much of i make shit up all the time for it when i do stuff with it now. but its silly and long and to sum it up -> ben works at office max in a mall (i dont think they have office max in malls) and rodrick keeps coming in to print/copy band posters. one night he breaks the machine so he and ben talk and rodrick asks him to join his band. he says yes, so ben and chris join the band which is rodrick and matt (emo kid from the first movie, who guess what doesnt say a single thing. he just stands there and claps at the sorry women scene) also the big joke with matt was that he works at chuck e cheese and hes the guy who wears the mouse costume and ben rodrick and chris all keep going there and pissing him off and eventually he gets mad and yells at them and thats how they all meet. i think thats what we created him for basically. ben is rhythm guitar/vocals, chris is bass, rodrick is drums, and matt is lead guitar. they break up at the end of highschool and reunite after dropping out of college and get world famous haha. just think like really annoying music kids in like 2007 who actually have a successful band...(their song is rodrick rules is good...i promise go look it up).

but ya. its unfortunately such a personal story to me atp that i cant let it go even though im not even friends with that person anymore. and also i dont really care. its funny & i draw them so much now and also. rodrick rules is such a good fucking movie. i dont care its definitely in my top ten favorites im deadass. whatevs.

other noteable things from this is kitty. whos my oc completely but shes chris' girlfriend and we made her up because the whole joke was she pegged him to paramore. hides my face this is just who we were at the time. but i draw her more with my own ocs than i do with chris her boyfriend who is the only reason she exists. i think thats all. im sorry this is so long but ive never actually explained the whole thing. theres so much more but i literally wont stop if i start. go thru the doawk tag on my blog 4 further explanation or ask me...i love talking about them please please.... bonus drawing of them i just did for this👍

#this is so. i dont know if im embarrassed or not.. #asks #also rodricks too short in that drawing but ohwell. #doawk #like.THABK YOU FOR ASKING TWIRLS MY HAIR....but also goddamn

[arisatominakos]

i want your gif making lore. 7, 9, 17, 15, 20, 26, 40, 45, and 49!

dfkjaj LORE REQUEST RECEIVED

7. Who are your top 3 gif makers

ohmans thats hard khfdsa. i actually am big fans of a lot of gifmakers out there that i dont follow but i see their stuff all the time in the tags & rb from them etc etc. but like i do follow a lot of folks who’s stuff i rlly enjoy and are folks that tend to inspire me. its a bit unfair to list just three so fkjsdha uhh @aartyom  @eurodynamic @onewingedangels @preciousgyro @entreri @marogarreh @thequantumranger @trident

9. What/who inspired you to start making gifs

i dont fully remember, i think a mix of just fandom stuff w/ friends & rp blogs. i do remember it was a hellacious journey until i could figure it out and since then i just have tried to keep improving or learning new things etc etc.

17. 10 sets, 8 sets, 6 sets? How many gifs to you prefer in a set

this is VERY dependent on the set im making at the time. i try to avoid like sets with a lot of images bc i get very tired with the task. but some stuff like i try to do between 2-5 so it looks nice in a post.

15. Have you ever had gifs stolen and reposted

constantly. usually its my avan gifs or star trek gifs. which is like the major reason i dont do them anymore or do a lot of non-video game slash anime sets. i tend to confront the person or ask them to take it down & it goes as well as you expect half the time: not the best. the worst time was a rp blog stealing all my avan gifs, not aware i was in the same rp circles so like tons of mutuals( most shared between the two of us ) notified me & they blocked me on said blog so i had to message them from my personal + other blogs i had at the time as well as said mutuals spoke with them as well before they took them down. it was a very frustrating day.

20. Mac or PC

i have experience with both mac & pc, however my default is my pc which is built for gaming. i’ve had mac laptops in the past via my older sister who would give me her school handmedowns. as far as specifically creating art gifs what have you, i have no preference between the two.

26. How many un posted sets are in your drafts right now

sO I KNOW A LOT OF PPL DO THAT WHERE THEY MAKE STUFF AND SAVE IT IN DRAFTS BUT IM DKSJHA i just i dont have the like mental fortitude to make something and not post it soon after. back when i was doing rp stuff & writing i used my drafts very heavily for wips & i sorta do that w/ gifsets in a way. as i make them i have a opened draft to upload each one to see how they look on tumblr, if they upload correctly, & to check coloring between my main monitor secondary monitor & phone as well so i make sure colors are good theres no washes etc. so usually if there is something in the drafts im currently working on it or its about to be posted so there are zero things in my drafts other than this ask kfsha

40. Why do you make gifs

good question. no clue. fkjhdsa but its fun & i enjoy it. its also just fun to share my interests in a way that can be shared by other people in reblogs etc. reading the tags of my sets & seeing ppls reactions or just opinions or whatever is just it rlly makes it. I Make Gifs For The People.

45. Ever gotten hate over a set

i’ve had ppl disrespect me bc of a gifset but ive never gotten hate persay. i do get a lot of bitchy people upset about my “do not repost or remove caption.” that i add to my posts which like i tend to ignore. realistically i cant stop ppl from doing such but it has helped so i keep doing it. usually i get a comment on said set they reblogged that day or in the tag but ive gotten 1 ask once about it & it was p funny. but proper hate with a valid reason ? nah.

49. How much would you say you’ve improved since you first started giffing

oH SO MUCH LOL. from coloring, to timing of the frames, to composition, to typography, to quality. the more i make the better i get. && there are things i want to redo to see how much i’ve improved. im not using the best tools to make these, but i’ve seen my improvement i’ve seen how much better i am & it’s rlly nice to be able to visually see your growth.

                                     /  GIFMAKER ASKS

#farllee.asks #fashionablyfyrdraaca #yEAH THANKS FOR ALL THE QUESTIONS

[atlas-arc]

Thank you so much for the TA scrbbled ink! It is perfect! And as I'm greedy here my next idea (no pressure!).. It's him to first notice that you needed glasses by the way you squint and ask him if he can read the letters, it's him to remind you to wear them though you hate them😁

a/n: ah you’re so welcome hun! keep ‘em coming. i love indulging in the scribbled ink au 🥺 so I was going to like.. actually write this but my brain didnt feel like cooperating so um.. here's a fic in bullet point form?? hopefully thats okay! also ive never dealt with seasons in my life so im really just winging it with the temperatures here 😂

he gets suspicious when he notices you squinting at the take out menus with increased frequency

the fact that you're complaining about your eyes hurting is adding to his suspicion

you also keep passing stuff to him to read for you...

not that he minds! But y'know, he's seeing you struggle and he doesn't like that

you're squinting at your laptop with your email open on maximum zoom and he thinks now's a good time to.. pop the question, so to speak

"Hey babe?" you hum in response, only partially paying attention. "Do you think you might need glasses?"

you stare at him like he's grown another head

"No. That's ridiculous. I can see perfectly fine! I've just been staring at a screen for too many days in a row."

neither of you believes it but he lets it drop.. for now

a week later you're both out and about and you very nearly get on the wrong train because you're in a rush and couldn't read the signs properly

Marcus is tugging you in the right direction while flashing you an 'i told you so' look

you schedule your appointment the next day

no, you absolutely do not rehearse what you're going to say at least 5 times before actually making the call. nope, not at all. didn't happen.

and you totally don't pick up the phone and walk away from it several times before actually hitting ‘call’

Marcus thinks it's cute but makes no move to step in and help. The bastard. (In his defence, he has an assignment to complete)

anyway, you make the call, go to your appointment and a week later, you're picking up your new glasses

for the first week or so, the world is ever so slightly warped as your eyes adjust to the prescription

you almost tripped down the stairs within the first hour of wearing them

Marcus holds your hand anytime a staircase comes into view now

you're not a fan of the glasses, to say the least.

you always forget to put them on in the morning and he ends up bringing them to you along with your coffee

you leave them somewhere as you do your routine ‘im ignoring my work while walking around the apartment aimlessly’ and then end up spending hours searching the apartment cuz you can't see

Marcus is half tempted to get you one of those glasses neck chords as a joke

he gets zach to add it to his sippy cup package 

but seriously. How do people live with these things?

you can't pull an impromptu 'im gonna shove my nose into the crook of your neck because it cold' without getting dirt onto your glasses anymore??

they fog up when you move from the warmth of your apartment into the not-warm-at-all outdoors??

you can't comfortably lie sideways anymore???

Though you must admit, it a very cute hair accessory

"Nice headband," Marcus says as he catches you squinting at your laptop again. "Pretty sure they make the words on your screen less like smudges and more like letters if you put them over your eyes though."

You stick your tongue out at him but move them over your eyes nonetheless

...turns out they work better when they're used 'correctly'

despite all the teasing, he does actually love the new glasses look

he's thanking every higher power there is that his portraits class didn't have strict rules on his portfolio because he's filling most of those slots with sketches of you and your new glasses

#scribbled ink #marcus pike x reader #i dont remember how the tags on this blog works anymore but oh well #also im sorry this doesnt have an ending #i dont even have a reason im just not a proper writer 😂 #with no planning skills what so ever #anyways thank you for requesting!

[d-structive]

hey there! im sorry if this ends up being annoying or anything because you might get messages like these anyways, but dude the stuff you make? insane bro! i absolutely adore your art style- its been a really big inspiration for me!

the stuff you make is just so damn dynamic and everything seems to just fit together so elaborately well. and oh my GOSH dont even get me started on you character designs?!?!? they hit so hard- every piece i see from you makes me feel an overwhelming amount of emotion. literally just now i was scrolling through your blog and every time i saw your art i put my head in my hands and just said "oh my- jesus christ thats so f-cking sick" cause it sincerely is!!

ive been a fan of your art for a while but only followed you a couple months ago because i remembered that following was a mechanic (i was just searching up your user whenever i wanted to check up on your blog lmao) but i cannot stress how much i adore your work!

you are such a big role model bossman, remember that! stay funky homie!!

~krabs :]

AAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT'S THIS SENSATION? I THINK MY TINY HEART RETURNED TO BEAT! All of this is...Flattering. ...You sure you sent this ask to the right blog, Krabs? If yes, then thank you so much! This made my day! I rarely receive asks in general and this one was really a surprise and made me super happy! :D I'm always glad to know that people do appreciate my weird fanarts and take-on-the-egos! Lots of people left and lately tumblr seems so silent...I had the impression nobody was still around/cared about these tags or characters anymore. Hence why I'm more active on twitter, lately (I'm DstructiveFish btw, if somebody wanna find me there. XD). Inspiration and role model are big words too, man...Glad if something of mine could be of any help! I'm having fun with these fake screenshots and dynamic poses lately...And as long I'm having fun, you can bet I won't stop drawing them! Thank you again! :D

#ask

[thesadboisguidetolife]

19 Questions and a Selfie

I got tagged by the sweet, kind, gorgeous @vidibit so here we go!!!

What do you prefer to be called? Haha so i actually dont have a preference. I kinda just leave it to whoever im talking to. That and a lot of Latinos just use nicknames for friends and ive had tons of those.

When is your Birthday? July 12. ♋ 😊

Where do you live? Haha ok but youre not getting my credit card number. I live in a suburb of Los Angeles, California.

Thing youre doing right now? I was working on some music and had The Birdcage playing as background noise when i first started on this but i put it in my drafts to finish later and now im at work lol

Four Fandoms that have piqued your interest? The Last Airbender for sure, Steven Universe is good, love me some Batman, Lord of The Rings too.

How has the Pandemic been treating you? I mean its been up and down. Got to spend a lot of time at home which was really really nice. Lost a lot of people, which......wasnt so nice. Also not doing that thing anymore where i put off hobbies that i love for "some other time."

A Song you cant stop listening to? Currently? Empire Ants by Gorillaz ft Little Dragon

Recommend A Movie? Oooohhh well im rewatching The Birdcage and its so good 😭 that scene with Armand and Albert on the bus stop always gets to me.

How old are you? 31 omggggg i feel so freaking old!!!!

School, University, Occupation? I am a cook 😊

Do you prefer to be hot or cold? Oh 100% cold. Haha without question. I can wear layers. And i can cuddle on the couch with a blanket on. Hot tea. Cold all the way.

Name a fact others may not know about you. I have Poland Syndrome. 🤷‍♂️ haha its like a minor case but i was born without my right pectoral muscle and its definitely caused body image issues lol.

Are you shy? Haha absolutely. But ive had to come out of my shell because of work. You cant exactly be shy and shout orders around a kitchen.

Pronouns? He, him, they, them mostly but she, her on occasion. Im all over the place. Lol

Biggest Pet Peeve? Mean people. People who enjoy being assholes to others in any way shape or form. Like, it cost you nothing, literally not a single cent, to be a decent person and you choose otherwise!?!? Unless you're one of those people that want me and my friends and family dead because of who we are. Y'all can drop dead. And you know exactly who i mean.

Rate your life from 1-10. 7 is a pretty safe number haha like im very grateful for all the stuff i have in life. My immediate family is still healthy. I have a job. And the amount of amazingly beautiful, kind, sweet people who I've gotten a great chance meet here. Seriously though. You guys are amazing and i love you guys 😊

Whats your main blog? Haha definitely this one.

List all of your side blogs and what theyre for. I may or may not have a side blog thats more for........adult stuff. But its literally all reblogs from other peoples side blogs lol

Is there anything people should know about you before becoming friends with you? Haha none comes to mind. I mean id like to think that I'm a pretty chill guy who you can talk to about anything 🤷‍♂️

Heres me in and out of uniform (showing maybe a little too much bulge lol)

Only if you guys want to btw, im gonna tag @campcrow @dropitlowbandit @catgifsinthesenate @c0smoggy @cubone-attack @zelmoe @vulnerary-prince @aegisblaze @dangerghost20 for now even though i know i will post this and remember a couple of beautiful mutuals i havent tagged in a while. 😊

[tomorrowsdrama]

2020: A Year in Thirst

In 1985, Gabriel Garcia Marquez gave the world Love in the Time of Cholera.  In 2020 (er, I guess it’s now 2021), I give to you, Thirst in the Time of Covid-19 or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Embrace the Thirst, a brief recap of all the dramas I watched in 2020 and whether such dramas made yours truly parched..  

The list contains dramas that premiered in 2020, but also dramas from previous years.  If I watched it or attempted to watch it in 2020, it’s on the list.  

EDIT: Ok, I’m going to have to do this in multiple parts because apparently I watched more dramas in 2020 than I remembered and talking about them all in one post would just be too long.

This also serves as a sort of greeting to all the people who recently followed me.  I don’t know how or why, but thank you for being interested in my thirst, and also so sorry for everything you have/will witness here!  I started this side blog last December 2019 as a place to dump all my fangirl feels and thirst with unbridled abandon and let’s just say, the thirst REALLY ramped up in 2020 during quarantine and all the political chaos/uncertainty.  The state of the world may be uncertain, but my thirst will always be a comforting constant!  LOL. If you want to thirst or fangirl/boy together, I’m all ears.

Anyway, let’s start with the drama that was partially the inspiration for this list. 

1. The Wolf

Brief Summary: Sweet hot boy raised in the wilderness/by wolves meets sweet beautiful girl and they fall in love.  Shitty evil people do shitty evil things to them to cause a misunderstanding and they are separated for years.  Sweet hot boy is given the “Sexy Bloody Tormented Killer Makeover” TM and turns into a VERY VERY BAD HOT Wolf Man after being tortured/brainwashed by an evil asshole king who “adopted” him.  Bad Hot Wolf Man reunites with sweet beautiful girl but because of third party machinations in the past, he thinks that she betrayed him so he is suuuuuuch an ass to her (while still maintaining hotness).  But even beneath the asshattery (and sexy jerky smirks), he can’t help his love for her and it’s just *chefs kiss*. The angst, the pining, the mutual sacrifice for each other, the torment of wanting to be together but not being able to be together because of external forces/circustances, oh I am getting in a tizzy just thinking about it.  I won’t reveal anymore so as not to spoil the drama, but just know the ending may destroy you.

Is she thirsty? Am I thirsty? AM I THIRSTY?  Oh honey, if you don’t know the answer to that, then you must either be new here or you haven’t been paying attention to any of my posts in the past few weeks.  Look, from the first moment the camera panned to Darren Wang’s very well-defined and tan chest and windswept hair, all semblance of shame and dignity I ever tried to feign on this tumblr was immediately thrown out the window.  The feelings that he inspired within me were purely primal.  My cavewoman ancestor from millennia ago stopped gathering food in the harsh wilderness for a brief second to transmigrate into my body and go “me want big strong man!”

I mean, below is literally our introduction to Wolf Boy.  Am I supposed to just witness this and not feel anything?  The director knew what he/she was doing.  Anybody who worked on the drama who says they didn’t intend to exploit Darren Wang’s assets is a BOLD FACED LIAR. And this isn’t even Wolf boy in his hottest form.

That would be this:

Damn, your girl needs a moment here.  When Wolf Boy turns into Bad Hot Wolf Man, wheeeeewww.  The things that came out of my mouth and the thoughts that popped up into my head.

Examples of shameless fangirl drooling can be found here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/636986055498792960/dangermousie-this-should-be-illegal-i-mean Here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/637238885944033280/dangermousie-i-am-fucking-dead-the-end-this Here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/637793196830769152/dangermousie-wolfie-acquired-a-kid-omg Here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/635272988321775616/dangermousie-i-dont-know-about-you-guys-but and here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/637621638524977152/dangermousie-hnnnnnnnngh-i-am-beginning-to-forget

Honestly, just check out The Wolf tag on @dangermousie​ tumblr and you won’t be disappointed.  Prepare to become obsessed, horny, and heartbroken.

Would I watch it minus the thirst traps? Have you ever thirsted so much that you couldn’t separate what reaction was hormonal and what was objective?  Like the guy is so hot to you that when your friends ask you what do you like about him, the first 10 things you can think of are “he’s hot!” and then you try to remind yourself that you’re not a shallow person who actually cares about things other than looks but at the same time you can’t for the life of you think of a non-hot based trait that you like about the guy  Yeah, that’s what happened here so sorry, I can’t give you an objective opinion.  It’s not that there’s nothing objectively good about The Wolf, it’s just that my judgment is too clouded by Darren Wang’s abs and big hands.  But from what I can tell by other people’s posts, even if you didn’t thirst for Darren Wang (Are you made of stone?  But also, can you please teach me your magic so I can go back to being a semi-functional working woman?), The Wolf is still a very enjoyable drama with its own non-Darren Wang related merits.

2. My Beautiful Bride

Brief Summary: A drama about a strait-laced banker who wears a dorky backpack and rides a bicycle everywhere while wearing the dorkiest looking helmet ever and his beautiful bride-to-be whom he is hopelessly devoted to.  This being a kdrama, and an OCN drama at that, things aren’t all what they appear to be.  Yes, you read that right, an OCN. ROMANCE. DRAMA.  Turns out the beautiful bride-to-be has a dangerous past that soon comes back to haunt her and she mysteriously disappears one day from strait-laced banker’s life in the typical kdrama way to protect him.  Part of the reason she leaves him is also because she doesn’t want him to know about her past because she doesn’t think she’s good enough for him.  Little does she know, he knows everything about her past and accepts it all.  The only reason why he doesn’t bring it up is because he knows she doesn’t want him to know about that part of herself and he loves her so much he’s willing to do anything to make her happy.  But also, another thing she doesn’t know is that underneath that boring but perfectly ironed suit, is a finely chiseled, super efficient fighting machine who did his mandatory military service in the special forces.  He is like the terminator meets Liam Neeson’s character in Taken.  He has a very particular set of skills and will stop at nothing to get his bride back.

Is she thirsty?  Please just watch this video and you will have your answer: https://youtu.be/Ut9MhxWadHM

Prior to The Wolf, My Beautiful Bride was probably the most thirst-inducing drama I watched in 2020.

I mean, just look

at this

at all of this

I don’t’ know how Joo Young saw that body and never questioned whether he really was just a banker.  The writers of the drama must be super heterosexual men who are blind because so many of the characters in the drama question why someone as beautiful as Joo Young would ever want to be with someone like the banker. Um..Um...aside from the fact that he is financially well off, treats her well, is loving and respectful of her, and prioritizes her over everything else, JUST LOOK AT HIM.  I was so thirsty for Kim Mu Yeol in this role that I would accidentally tag this drama as My Beautiful Banker sometimes.  The banker was on a relentless one-man mission to take back his bride and turn me on in the process and ooooooh boy was he successful on both fronts.  He is seriously sex on legs every time he beats up a baddie in his quest to find answers about Joo Young’s whereabouts.

Would I watch it minus the thirst traps?  I binged the first six episodes of this drama in one afternoon partly because of my thirst, but also partly because it’s a very well made crime-action-gangster drama.  This is an OCN drama so you can expect a competently made production with well choreographed/bloody action scenes and a solid script.

3. Scarlet Heart Ryeo / Moon Lovers

Brief Summary: IU plays Hae Soo, a modern woman who is somehow transported back in time to the Goryeo period.  There, she gets entangled with a group of royal princes.  Her two main love interests are Wang So (played by Lee Jun Ki) and Wang Wook (played by Kang Ha Neul).  The princes vie for the throne and some of them for Hae Soo’s affection.  Lee Jun Ki does what he does best, which is play a sexy tortured deadly man who looks way too good with blood splattered on his face.  Kang Ha Neul is the seemingly kind prince/daddy long legs character who turns out to be not so kind or daddy long leggy.  Hae Soo is...well IU did the best she could with what she was given (which was a hot inconsistent mess).

Is she thirsty? Scarlet Heart Ryeo is like the honeypot of thirst traps.  It’s essentially a reverse harem set up with a prince for everyone.

Like them young and cute?  Then try the 10th prince, Wang Eun.

Want them big, tall, and kinda dumb?  Here’s the 14th prince Wang Jung for ya.

Want an evil bastard with an affinity for guyliner?  Try out 3rd prince Wang Yo.

Tall, slender, and scholarly? 13th prince Baek-ah will fill your needs.

Is a kind/gentle man who will ultimately disappoint you because he doesn’t show up when you need him most more your speed?  Well, let me introduce you to 8th prince, Wang Wook.

Kinda scary but oh so hot and with a ton of baggage?  We’re talking, I overpacked and brought 10 overstuffed large suitcases levels of baggage. 4th prince Wang So is the guy for you.

And if you prefer someone with no personality, presence, or memorable traits, I got a two-for-one deal for you in the crown prince Wang Mu and 9th prince Wang Won.

Would I watch it minus the thirst traps?  There is political intrigue, scheming, romance, fluffy hijinks (my least favorite parts of the drama), angst, beautiful costumes, and pretty decent fight scenes.  Scarlet Heart Ryeo is a pretty solid fusion/fantasy sageuk mostly thanks to Lee Jun Ki.  The only person who has ever carried a larger load on his back is Atlas.  I’m not saying all the other actors are horrendous. It’s just very clear that the one elevating the material beyond the inconsistencies/messiness/elementary politics of the script is Lee Jun Ki.  Your enjoyment level of the drama will likely increase if you are a fan of any of the main actors.  

#the wolf #darren wang #my beautiful bride #kim mu yeol #scarlet heart ryeo #moon lovers: scarlet heart ryeo #lee jun ki #kang ha neul #ji soo #cdrama #kdrama

[kirby-the-gorb]

reply roundup!

highlights from the past couple weeks:

a commission for a friend of their oc gorbified [here]

the valentine’s stickers separated out into individual valentines [here]

another patreon drawing for this month of lukeperiodsun and their partner gorbified [here]

new throw pillow design posted on [society6] (as well as relisting the blanket design from november)

finally added a tag for kirby’s bear [kirbear], and a general tag for [plushies]

more [lolita kirb] because it’s my blog and I choose the aesthetic :v

there is also a new image description [here] by @crowsami​ on the kirby running through a field. thank you very much! (and I hope your assignment went okay :> )

and sticker club design and signups should be posted on monday march 1st :> $5 patreon tier for a 4-sticker sheet, charged on april 1st and shipped hopefully promptly after. (I have a theme picked out already :3 and yes, if you want to combine two tiers we can make that happen.)

I guess it’s been a busy couple weeks, huh!

on [pillow]:

@redphienix said: A Perfect Spherical Friend

extremely round! extremely good!

@mysterygreentea said: he is friend shaped and full of love

dang it that’s what I forgot in the anatomy gif! he is full of love. -u-

on [ocean]:

@the-halo-of-my-memory said: look how happy he is, this is so cute, precious baby. your art always brings a smile to my face

he’s just having a good time! and I’m glad it makes you smile :>

@mangomybeloved said: A BABY!!!!!!!! SWIMMING!!!!!!!!! ty ray for sending me this!! ilysm!

this is so cute, someone sending my art to someone else out of affection :’> (I’m sure it happens more often than I get to see! but it makes me happy to get to see it!)

on [sewing]:

@gigilefache said: he stitch, adorable

he is being careful with his nubbins.

@bubblesthesanddragon said: mood :)

sometimes you just gotta “:)”

on [garden]:

@angst-and-fajitas said: Kirby loves tomatoes, right? Maybe he's got some of those!

ooh, I bet you’re right!

(this reminds me that in high school I dated someone who would just eat tomatoes like apples, and they went to a different school. so sometimes their school ended before mine, and they’d just. come stand in my classroom and eat a tomato in the corner. they were very odd, but it’s hard to be normal and date me XD )

on [bear]:

@creative-impacts said: Kirby looks so proud of their toy and honestly- same :) ADORABLE WORK ON THIS! YOU GAVE KIRBY SO MUCH EXPRESSION IN A SMALL PRIDEFUL SMILE!

aww, thank you! there’s only so many poses a kirby can make so small changes in expression make a big difference :> (also your blog seems wonderfully positive, I hope you’re enjoying running it!)

on [smash]:

@edgybocfan said: Wait why did I come in this room... musta been important I smashed a hole in the wall. Huh, oh well *leaves through the hole in the wall*

this made me laugh, thank you! we’ve all been there before lol

@shin-holly said: COLOURS WEAVE INTO A SPIRE OF FLAME—

(I had to look up the reference, it’s the lyrics from the World of Light song from smash bros -u- ) oh no! not here! lol

on [kirblita]:

@the-halo-of-my-memory said: so cute. i should buy a dress i dont have any. i should look into that, either something super cute or witchy

I did not like dresses At All when I was spending a lot of time walking, but now that I use my wheelchair suddenly they’re much more practical lol. and I bet you can find something that is both cute *and* witchy if that’s what you really want :>

on [run]:

@aggron-rocks said: there he go!!

@fiendir said: Look at him go!!

@dragonofcupcake said: wooo run little man

I like the way all three of these comments look grouped together -u- like kirby is running a race and everyone is cheering!

@askluckyandfriends said: Cool! I always like to look at your art :D

thank you! (I like looking at my art too, so it’s nice I’m not the only one XD )

on [anatomy]:

@hypertomboi said: ty for the anatomy lesson op

vital knowledge for raising a happy healthy kirb.

@grand-star said: Oh boy it's true

only true facts here!

@epsilonnot said: v v good. i was picturing like an xray with just a single cartoon bone in the stomach but this is much more delightful

you know what, that would be at least equally hilarious tbh.

@askluckyandfriends said: Best thing ever

the scientists tried to warn us but he was just too cute! (thank you!)

from the ask box:

@askluckyandfriends said: Hi! ...Oh come on I don't remember what I wanted to say anymore agh. Anyways, have a wonderful day! Your drawings are all super good!

oh no lol that happens to me too. I hope you have a wonderful day too, and thank you!

anonymous said: Your kirbies make my day

aww, thank you! it makes me happy to know a silly little project I started for myself makes others happy too.

#text #title text #reply roundup #asks answered #long post #readmore #crowsami #redphienix #mysterygreentea #the-halo-of-my-memory #mangomybeloved #gigilefache #bubblesthesanddragon #angst-and-fajitas #food #creative-impacts #edgybocfan #shin-holly #aggron-rocks #fiendir #dragonofcupcake #askluckyandfriends #hypertomboi #grand-star #epsilonnot #anonymous

[mitchsmarners]

writing prompt masterlist #1

 Of course, there’s 75 million prompt lists out there but i figured there’s nothing wrong with making my own. Send me a category + a number + a pairing and i’ll write you a fic. Okay to reblog and use :) (x)

Fake/Secret/Etc Dating AUs:

my parents keep setting me up on blind dates but in reality I’m dating you and it’s so you help me get out of them

i hate commitment but my dad’s dying wish is to see me get married and you’re an old family friend i ran into at the airport on my way to visit him so hey let’s get engaged

you need a plus-one for your brother’s wedding so i’m going as a favor but there’s been a misunderstanding and now your whole family thinks we’re engaged

i’m mad at my parents so i ask you out because they wouldn’t approve of you and you’re well aware that i’m just using you but you agree because you find it funny but hey you’re actually super sweet

there’s this really creepy person hitting on me and i don’t know you but you pretending to be my partner completely saved my ass thanks how about i buy you a drink

we’re just really touchy friends and we get each other gifts all the time but everyone thinks we’re going out and we let them think that but why are you getting upset about me going on a date we’re not actually together? 

I’m sorry you always thought your love for me was unrequited but on to more important matters YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED IN THE MORNING SO YOU HAVE A DECISION TO MAKE YOU ASSHOLE!

Our mutual friend apparently has been waiting for us to get together and so they’re very angry/disappointed/upset when they find out that the reason we kissed last night was because we were black-out drunk

everyone thinks we hate each other and we keep that front up in public, so we have hilarious pretend fights and squabbles and pranks 

when we were little I accidentally mentioned that I had a crush on you but I always thought you didn’t hear me because you just looked at me weird and never commented but now we’re in high school and omg you just introduced me as your boyfriend/girlfriend/datemate wtf we never discussed this

friends to lovers aus

You’ve got a date tonight and you asked for advice on what to wear but I’m so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit I picked out for you

You’ve liked me for ages and were really obvious about it and I didn’t like all the attention but now you’re over me I really miss it and fuck I think I like you too?

 You want us both to get in shape and I hate working out/running but your ass looks really good in shorts oh the things I do for my friends and their nice asses

Our best friends are that awful ‘cute’ couple that make-out in public and call each other “sweetie” and “sugar” and “babe” and god they’re awful let’s talk about how awful they are – develops into “shit we’re the awful couple now”

Celebrity/Famous AUs

listen, you may be a famous (and extremely attractive) guitarist, but that gives you no right to practise on the electric at two a.m when we live right next to each other.

We broke up and I used my feelings to write songs and now I’m super popular and you want me back

we decided to make a fake vlog drama for our subscribers and they all think it’s real but jokes on us we end up actually liking each other

I run a prank channel and you were some innocent bystander I pranked for a video but then it turns out hey, you’re also famous online haha shit

we met and started talking but i didn’t know you were a rising star until i noticed cameras following me wtf

you’re a reporter and i think you’re super cute so i’ll only give you personal interviews to help your career and also get you to talk to me more

I’m a celebrity and I have a secret social media account and we started talking online and now we’re close friends but you want to meet up oh shit

I’m a celebrity and I may or may not be following your blog which is dedicated to me. reading your comments and tags are hilarious and very flattering and I’m somewhat smitten  

You’re an actor/other famous person that I really admire and I just saw you in the street and as I was debating whether or not to say hi you came up to me and started flirting what do I do??

wedding/kids/marriage/long term relationship AUs

we’ve been dating forever, and you just caught the bouquet at our friend’s wedding

remember when we were in high school and we swore that if we were still single at 30 we’d marry each other, well hey guess whose birthday it is

i’m a runaway bride/groom and you’re driving my getaway car

I suddenly bumped into you after years and wow you look good but holy crap is that a kid?? since when?

you had a breakdown because the baby wouldn’t stop crying and you kept saying how you weren’t ready and how you couldn’t do it

whenever my kid starts crying I just hand them to you and then they just stop and start smiling

“i’m so sorry that my child pointed out how your shirt- actually nevermind i agree, that shirt is horrendous”

i always tease you because that’s just our thing we tease each other but for some reason you snapped at me and are you okay? what’s wrong?

my in-laws despise me GREAT but around you they’re super nice so you don’t believe me

neighbours AUs

You always complain about how loud I am (whether it be TV, video games or music/musical instrument is up to you) and this is the first time you’ve actually knocked on my apartment door and given me a lecture there rather than giving me a phone call, but I’m not really listening because I didn’t  realise I had such a cute neighbour

you never open your door for children on halloween so i always pay the kids to smear your door with shaving cream

my printer isnt printing anymore and my papers are due tomorrow so im on my knees in front of your door begging to use your printer when the old lady from above passes us and thinks im proposing to you

we always run into each other on the stairs but we’ve never said more than hello but when we found out that we both hate the other neighbours, we became friends

i came home drunk and wouldnt stop knocking on your door. when you open i keep telling you to get out of my apartment

after a rough party night i find you sleeping on the stairs but since im still a little asshole all i do is put a blanket over you and a pillow under your head

Please help me, I know you have a kid and my sibling just dropped their baby on me where’s the button to put them to sleep?

I’m stressed and sleep-deprived, please let me pet your cat. 

I have really weird dreams and you have really weird dreams so now we’re in this contest to see who has the weirdest dreams.

Strangers/Meet Cute (or meet very NOT cute) AUs 

We were sitting next to each other in a public place and I saw a mosquito on you and my instincts just acted before my mind.

We mixed up our clothes at the laundry service and I have nothing left to wear and every thing you wear is too big/small for me.

We’re at a comic book store and if you tell me your superhero is better than mine I’m gonna have to punch you in the teeth.

There are no table left at this restaurant and you let me sit at yours since you’re alone.

I’m a single grown-up with busy friends but I want to go to Disneyland so I drop a message on a forum to find someone like me to go wear silly Mickey ears headband and stuff ourselves with cotton candy.

My computer broke down so I called an IT and now I need to find a reason to call them back so I delete important files and download adwares and do all kinds of stupid things. 

I almost dropped something and in my fumbling attempts to stop it from hitting the floor I accidentally projectiled it at your face and it’s a really nice face I’m so sorry

first day at a new job and oh fuck my boss is the person I drunkenly hooked up with last weekend/night

I wanted to go on the ferris wheel but there has to be two people to a cart come on random person let’s go oh wait are we stuck at the top? Fuck

 Our mutual friend set us up on a blind date and I thought I’d hate it but you’re actually… kind of funny? But because I expected to hate it in no way am I going to let you change my mind just because you’re gorgeous and funny and intelligent oh no my friend is not winning this

college/high school AUs:

i went on a date with a boy who had plans to take me to dinner and drinks. but he lost his wallet at a pizza place so we just walked around the neighborhood, sat in the park and talked.

we’re in the same study group but we dont talk but you brought goldfish and im starving

we have the same notebook and we took the wrong ones home so i used your notes on my open book test

you were my elementary school crush but you moved away but somehow we end up miraculously going to the same college and i barely recognized you because holy hot damn you are more attractive than i remember?

I tripped over on my way to this party and I’m bleeding profusely from the grazes on my knees and you’re a complete stranger that pretty much jumped me the second I walked in the door to play nurse

ive had a crush on you for 3+ years and now youre going out with my best friend and i definitely havent locked myself in a toilet cubicle to cry

We’re in different debate classes and I was constructing a case on the board and I come in the next morning and you’ve replied to all my points really well?? But I don’t even know your name? And oh shit, we’re taking over the entire whiteboard, is that your phone number squeezed into the corner of the board there?

You have braces and I don’t and I keep forgetting you’re not allowed to have gum so every time I offer, you give this death glare

You sent me a text asking if I wanted to go to prom on the day of prom and I’m not in town

I’m a notorious goody two shoes and you look like you get into fights on a daily basis, so when you were in the library on the first day I was supposed to be a tutor, I assumed I’d be tutoring you. But, as it turns out, we’re both tutors, and the people we’re tutoring keep blowing us off to make out and we have to go round them up

we have a mutual best friend but they cannot find out how much i like you then they’ll tell you, but i need to find out if you’re single!

I sat down in the wrong class and I’m panicking but don’t want to get up and leave because the class has started and you think it’s hilarious 

You pissed me off in class so I threw a book at your head and now I’m in detention and jesus fuck I hate you so much and the teacher made me apologise and wait you’re cuter up close

soulmate aus

if one soulmate gets an injury, the other gets it as well.

Character A has a soulmate, but Character A died before they got to meet them. As Character A navigates the afterlife in their ghostly form, they discover that they can’t “move on” until they’ve met their soulmate.

 the very first words your soulmate ever says to you are tattooed somewhere on your body since the day you are born

when you write something on your skin with pen/marker/whatever, it will show up on your soul mates skin as well.

You get an ‘impression’ of your soulmate when you turn 18 or something but all I got was a strong smell of bananas or something

you have a compass on your wrist and it directs you to where your soulmate is

i usually think i’m having a conversation with myself in my head but it turns out we’re telepathically connected

everybody is born with a map “tattooed” on their forearm that’s centered on the exact location of where they’ll first meet their soul mate 

#writing #writing prompts #i did this instead of........ actually writing #eddieways feel free to reblog and/or send prompts

[avantguardisme]

i got tagged by @bourgeoix​ to Tell Me Good Things That Happened This Year (last year now i guess) so here are some top 5s of mine from 2020 under the cut!

this will be difficult because i have absolutely no sense of time and don’t know when i did anything this year but i’ll do my best  

movies i watched: (i did have to look up what movies came out in 2020 for this lmao)

emma. (2020) was the last movie i saw in theaters god bless

finally watched someone great this december at my sister’s suggestion and it made me cry!!

almost forgot that the half of it came out in 2020 but oh my god what a good fucking movie (and if you liked the half of it go watch saving face too!! alice wu is a great fucking director and saving face is one of my faves)

i’m like 90% sure i watched parasite this year? anyway it was great & i gotta watch more bong joon ho movies

i really did not watch that many movies this year huh. 

oh wait fuck i forgot about the old guard & enola holmes, which ill group here together as a pair of refreshing action/adventure movies that i really enjoyed!

tv shows i watched:

harlots!! on this blog we love 1) women 2) period dramas 3) charlotte wells in particular

oh i think this year i finally rewatched all of atla! i saw almost every episode as a kid (normally several times and not necessarily in order) and even tho i remembered the show really well it was really cool to see it altogether! and find out i had missed watching TWO whole episodes as a kid

great pretender, but i mostly just liked the first season. fucking gorgeous show overall tho even if it kinda loses its balance thematically in the last arc

queen’s gambit (this is truly the year of my giant crush on anya taylor joy huh)

unsure if this technically counts as television but i got very into dimension 20 this year! especially fantasy high, but i’m also working my way through unsleeping city and crown of candy right now, just very good dnd actual play stuff overall

songs i listened to: (this is not my actual top 5 songs on spotify wrapped bc that’s embarrassing, more like my faves of the year)

ambrosia by rosie tucker

boreas by the oh hellos

i know the end by phoebe bridgers

high in the garden by sorcha richardson

nana triste by natalia lacunza & guitarricadelafuente

books i read:

earthsea! i think i started these this year, i’m currently on the farthest shore & genuinely all of them are so good, stan ursula le guin

the priory of the orange tree by samantha shannon!! yes this book is like 800 pages yes i did read half of it in like a week. i also didnt realize there was gonna be so many gays goin in and boy was i extremely pleasantly surprised

obligatory inclusion of a reading i did for class, but la vida es sueño by calderón de la barca honestly kinda kicks ass, i did a whole paper on one the soliloquies in there and the verse is just good y’all

oh also gender trouble by judith butler which i read a good bit of for my theory class and lives rent free in my brain at this point

uncensored picture of dorian grey by oscar wilde, which im like 90% sure i read early this year and not last year, but time doesnt exist who cares really. love that fucking prose tho, and i think the themes are more clear with the inclusion of basil as an explicitly gay character tbh

good things that happened to me:

got into grad school??? and started grad school???

related, but i wrote a 17 page term paper somehow too, which is a thing i apparently can do now

and i moved across the country and live in an apartment now! and i have so many plants! and a full size bed! and a desk and a bookshelf!

oh shit i almost forgot this was the year i finally got an adhd diagnosis! and now im all medicated and shit its fucking amazing

and i’ve started writing a lot more! not just papers for class and stuff, but also some more fiction which maybe i’ll actually finish one day lmao

uhhhhhhhhh idk who to tag since i dont interact much on here much anymore, how about @romanarcadia @waitingforgalois @equalseleventhirds @yourladybrie @starsighns and literally anyone else who wants in u can say i tagged u :)

#txt #ari adventures #feels weird since i rarely post my actual thoughts and opinions on this blog lmao #dont think i ever posted about going to grad school either? whoops

[yetremains]

“...”

“Well damn, alright.” Yang downed the rest of her tea quickly, before gasping for a breath as she shoved her cup away.

“Lightning round, lets go!”

chocolate: when was your first kiss?

“It was in my young teen years, 15 I think. I’d been dating that individual for a couple weeks before they abruptly decided to kiss me then and there. We’d been dancing around the subject for a while. It wasn’t spicy or romantic, merely spur of the moment. Was sweet though. The year after that we had broke up and remained friends for a while until we lost contact.”

french vanilla: how old are you?

“You shouldn’t ask someone their age when they been through shit. Too god damn old is the best answer if you must know. I’m older than 28, trust me. Don’t let looks fool you. But hey, I’m getting even older come December 25th!”

cotton candy: three places you want to travel to?

“Do places long gone count? Can I say Home? Nah probably not. So three places let’s see... Japan, China, Romania. The actual places not whatever anything makes them out to be.”

strawberry: a language you wish you could speak?

“I know a damn lot of languages actually. Sometimes it’s hard to think of the right words to say because of this, knowing so many. It’s one reason I’m so odd with my way of speaking. However, I would not mind learning some dead languages. If that doesn’t count, then... Persian?”

coffee: favorite cosmetic brands?

“Ah hell. I mean, I’m not much of a cosmetic expert here. I work with whatever I really need for a music show or for just every day. I could say L’Oreal because I’m worth it joke but that seems in bad taste. If I was using cosmetics just for the enjoyment or to look special, I just try and get whatever works for me.”

mint chocolate chip: indoors or outdoors?

“Answered this one~!”

cookie dough: do you play any instruments?

“Plenty. I’ve decided to learn a few different ones so I can mix together my own music needs of demands arise for it. But I really enjoy stringed instruments or wind instruments. I carry a small harmonica or Ryūteki in my packs.”

rocky road: favorite songs at the moment?

“Not easy to give an answer for, I’ve got a really broad taste. But I’m thinking something with a heavier beat at the moment-”

butter pecan: favorite songs for life?

“Oh come on this makes it harder. As I said, broad taste. I can find enjoyment in many kinds of music and lyrics. Can’t exactly answer a favorite song for life here.”

cheesecake: what’s your zodiac sign?

“Which zodiac are we talking here? There are a lot out there. But the first one into my head is Capricorn. I am on the 25th of December.”

toasted coconut: the beach or the pool?

“As nice as the ocean can be, fuck the ocean. I’ll enjoy the coast line just fine but you won’t catch me swimming that far out in it. There is damn good reason why I don’t like the ocean much anymore. I’ll relax in a pool or a lake or river, thank you.”

chocolate chip: what’s your most popular post?

“Good question. I’ve made a few social media posts that exploded. But that’s probably not fair considering the music I do. I think my most popular is from years ago when I spray painted a statue of a certain someone to look like a baboon.”

bubblegum: books or movies?

“Both! Why choose? I enjoy both quite a bit. and besides, Books can always be there no matter what. And can hold so much valuable information depending what you are reading.”

pistachio: manga or anime?

“... Both again? But I prefer novels. This is more a guilty pleasure.”

salted caramel: favorite movies?

“I can’t remember the last movie I watched, if I’m honest, let alone a favorite movie.”

birthday cake: favorite books?

“Hmmm. Hard one. I enjoy the collected works of Edgar Allen Poe? There is Shōgun. The Mark of Zorro, Sherlock Holmes, Bram Stoker Dracula... There’s several.”

moose tracks: favorites for manga?

“Not exactly applicable, I don’t remember the name of any I like when I was young.”

orange sherbet: favorites for anime?

“The same as above. Wow I am old... I should really get in touch with these things again.”

peanut butter: favorite academic subject?

“Hah, I loved science and history. A damn lot really. I’ve used both to really help my self along and it’s come in handy. My need for knowledge had me spend a lot of time researching.”

black raspberry: do you have any pets?

“I’ve not had any pets since I was a rookie. Never had the time to truly care for one, and now with a hectic life, I’m not gonna do that to an animal.”

mango: when and why did you start your blog?

“Suppose just to exist and have something to do between pit stops.”

mocha: ideal weather conditions?

“It is torn between two for me. A nice warm day, clear, maybe with a gentle breeze. Some clouds above, and calm. That’s the ideal outing day... But, I suppose due to my birthday, I can enjoy a soft snow coming down,some snow on the ground, watching through a window with tea in hand while bundled up and warm. Much prefer clear day though.”

black cherry: four words that describe you?

“Now that’s just not fair. Let me think... Loyal, Determined, Caring, Protective.”

neapolitan: things that stress you out?

“Being reminded of my failings and those I’ve lost... the people I’ve hurt... Thinking about friends I wish I was closer too but too fearful to be that close. Hm. I can also be stressed out by far too much stimulation for my brain at once that it can spin my gears way too quickly.”

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music?

“Again, broad tastes. But depending on my mood or feelings, it changes what my favorite kind of music can be. But I will always enjoy something gentle and calming.”

chocolate marshmallow: favorite brands of candy?

“I’ve always been partial to chocolates, or cream items.”

toffee: a card game that you’re good at?

“Ever hear of a game called Egyptian Rat Race? Also known as Egyptian Rat Screw, dunno why of course. I learned this game when I was a kid. 52 card deck, deal to each player until the deck is entirely used and everyone has a pile face down. Starting to the left of the dealer players pull the top card off their pile and place it face-up in the middle. If the card played is a number card, the next player puts down a card, too. This continues around the table until somebody puts down a face card or an Ace. When a face card or an ace is played, the next person in the sequence must play another face card or an ace in order for play to continue.If the next person in the sequence does not play a face card or an ace within their allotted chance, the person who played the last face card or an ace wins the round and the whole pile goes to them. The winner begins the next round of play.“

lemon custard: do you eat breakfast?

“Uh... Admittedly not often. With my metabolism problem I absolutely should, considering the demanding needs. I just can’t always bring my self to do so, the will for it isn’t there. I do snack though.”

dark chocolate: turn ons?

“Ooohh boy... Now this one has me turning a bit red here. I mean there is biting and tight holds, the usual stuff. But... I’m not gonna list a lot here, a turn on can be blindfolding me if I trust my partner enough.”

fudge: turn offs?

“Being an asshole, for one.”

peach: how do you relax?

“A nice cup of tea, maybe some soft music, and let my mind unwind a little. That’s if I’m alone. Otherwise a gentle conversation with a friend about small things... Once upon a time long ago I would have said long hugs or cuddling. Not an option these days.”

praline: a popular book you haven’t read yet?

“I’ve not read The Golden Compass, that has been on my to do list.”

superman: do you like sweaters?

“Weird how this one is with sweaters... but yeah I can enjoy sweaters in the right weather. They can be soft and warm, comfy. Great for cold days.”

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee?

“I drink both actually. But if I have the option for a good tea I’m going to take it without hesitation. Yet the spark of energy from Coffee can’t be denied.”

dulce de leche: an instrument you wish you could play?

“Without a doubt, Taisho-goto. Have you seen one of those? It’s so intricate and amazing, and can sound wonderful. It can be used to play all sorts of things. Fascinates me that the item was half inspired by a typewriter.”

blackberry: have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

“Oh a few times actually. It’s been a good long while now since I’ve gone that far, but it’s come close. But once upon a time this has happened!”

ginger: a new feature you wish tumblr could have?

“To Become A Functioning Website.”

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs?

“Now that’s just kissing and telling...” (( I’d also have to tag and dont wanna spam. ))

almond: favorite mean girls quote?

“Oddly specific, but... Variations of ‘One time she punched me in the face. It was awesome.’. “

butterscotch: what color are your nails right now?

“Uh, natural and colorless? I’ve not painted my nails in a while.”

cinnamon: have you ever been confessed to?

“I have yes.”

blue moon: have you ever had a crush on someone?

“Again, yes. We’re not gonna go into this can of worms.”

cappuccino crunch: do you take naps?

“Sometimes. There comes the occasion when one does get exhausted and needs a damn nap.”

mint: the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?

“Get way too flustered and accidentally admit I liked someone.”

brownie batter: do you like sushi?

“Completely! You say we’re going to get Sushi and you have my full attention.”

key lime: where do you want to be right now?

“Home unfortunately.”

red velvet: do you wear prescription glasses?

“Nope! I’m thankful for that, but one day I have no doubt that’s going to change.”

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream?

“Mochi green tea, chocolate chip mint, red bean, Strawberry shortcake... Gelato raspberry or orange cream.”

#About Yang #Headcanon #(( THERE I DID IT. ALL THE ICE CREAMS )) #(( this was exhausting on the hands and brain i died. )) #(( but also did my best ))

[themoonsbeloved]

I'm disappointed how the fairy gala went down, like the designs on the cards themselves are great but the reasoning makes it weird. Like a simple rewrite of the fairies wanting the princes to join in would have been good plus a good in joke for Mal getting left out.) I know I shouldn't be too surprised given yano and her past work but still.

Oh definitely i was so hyped about how beautiful they looked, and then you realise its because they were chosen as exotic and foreign and it jsut went downhill from there.

Also yeah when I realised who the artist was for twst i was like Yikes well im about to regret this lmao. Honestly I feel too old and ive never been the type to be invested and part of fandoms and the culture of fandoms in general, I only ever did ONCE make a side blog for another fandom years ago and left once white fans bullied me off of it. Even for this fandom I don't consider myself part of it because I refuse to invest in that capacity for the sake of my sanity, but im invested in the characters and can't mooch off/depend on other mutuals for reblogging good non-problematic content because im the only one whos into it lol (and the fandom is rlly small anyways so I have no choice but to look in the tags even though i dont want to). Now with the way it keeps getting more and more uncomfortable idk anymore. Also in regards to your second message yes I'm aware of Kaoru Mori and her works! I did like a brides story but I havent caught up to it in years, but I definitely remember the amount of effort and detail she put into that manga oof.

#twst chats

[cometogethcr]

Get to know the blogger!

Tagged by @eatingthem ( thank you brother )

i’m tagging @indignaticn @mirrcrspeaks @pepperpxtts @smartvulpix and anyone else who wants to do it !!

FIRST NAME jason but i don’t mind jayjay, or jace either. just don’t call me jay i don’t know what it is but i hate being called jay for whatever reason

STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh i’ve technically died twice? (and almost died a third time) once when i was two after getting really really sick from something that they still don’t know lmao, and once when i was nine on the day we came back from a holiday also from getting really really sick aaaaand the almost died time being in my first year of uni when i overdosed on ecstacy 

TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON hands, legs, and probably eyes

A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF sushi !! especially from my sister and i’s fav sushi place. i know theyre super american but i could eat Philadelphia rolls until the day i die and never ever get tired of them

A FOOD YOU HATE BELL PEPPERS!!

GUILTY PLEASURE super fucked up extreme cinema... i’ve watched salo 3 times lmfao 

WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN usually t shirt and boxers, unless its FREEZING (i live in a basement) then i wear a hoodie and boxers

SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS serious relationships, although im very very happy being single right now lmfao

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE uuuuuuuhhhhh probably go back to the time when i had initially dropped out of theatre school and just stayed and finished my final year so i didn’t go back the year later and eventually meet my “”ex”” (if you could even call him that) kjjdjskjsdf thats trauma baby!!!

ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON sometimes! more so verbally than anything else, i’m not much of a touchy person, i like hugs but i don’t really like cuddling or anything like that

A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN oh man theres so many!! reservoir dogs, a clockwork orange, full metal jacket, salo kjdjdkfjkf

FAVORITE BOOK oh man, filth by irvine welsh, flowers for algernon by daniel keyes, animal farm by george orwell 

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE A PIGGIE!!!!!!! or a sloth or a goat

TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] UUUH mister pink/mister brown - reservoir dogs ????? god i don’t know lmao

PIE OR CAKE CAKE!!!!!!!!!! CHEESECAKE!!!!!!!

FAVORITE SCENT whatever scent my candle that i have is that i ripped the label off and can no longer remember what it is

CELEBRITY CRUSH LEE PACE!!!! GOD i am just so mesmerized but his work?? and he’s someone i look up to so much as an actor myself, plus his smile is so GENUINE!! and he’s done so much for the environment and for the queer community sdjksdkjsjsdjks i love him so much. i wish i could have seen him in angels in america on broadway back in 2018 fuck. 

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO I really want to visit every province that i haven’t been to yet before I die. (I live in Ontario and I’ve only been to Quebec & Manitoba so I have a bit to go lol) especially the northern territories and the eastern provinces (I really hope to work at neptune theatre in nova scotia one day), aaaand my best friend sammi and i were supposed to go to mexico this year but ..... yeah. AND ALSO I’D LIKE TO GO TO UTAH TO SEE @eatingthem <3

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT a little bit of both?? it really depends on the situation, im definitely more of an extrovert once you get to know me, honestly.  

DO YOU SCARE EASILY depends on the situation, i get nervous about confrontation sometimes... real life things tend to scare me the most. my two biggest fears are cults and pandemics.. ..... . . . . . so you know how i’ve been feeling lately 

IPHONE OR ANDROID i’ve been using iphones since i was 14 (so almost 10 years) and even though realistically i know that androids are better i probably will never ever switch over lmfao 

DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES i play the sims 4 (i have almost all the expansion packs and what not) i play GTAV sometimes but my xbox is super old and sometimes the game disc thingy doesn’t want to open. i play some indie games on steam also, all the roller coaster tycoons, emily is away 1 & 2, dream daddy. 

DREAM JOB  I’ve done quite a bit of work in my field (theatre) since graduating, and its really surreal. i’ve wanted to do theatre since i was 13 and actually starting to work and get paid for doing what i love was insane !! and i had quite a bit of new work lined up before this outbreak happened. i would like to do more jobs on the tech side and costume side of the theatre because all ive really done so far is acting, directing and playwrighting, and i hope to get back into everything soon... it’s been rough. 

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS get an apartment with my best friend and probably save the rest, and invest in finally opening my queer shakespeare theatre company that ive wanted to for a while now.

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE oh my god? uuuuhhhhhhh, jeez thats hard. i honestly can’t think of anyone off the top of my head jksdsjkdfjksdfsjdkf

FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER i used to write mister pink (reservoir dogs), quicksilver (xmen), jd (heathers), trevor (gta), iago (shakespeare), oliver (call me by your name), lito (sense 8) ...... uh, i cant remember who else off the top of my head? a lot of those fandoms i’m still apart of, i just dont write in anymore

#( ooc tag. ) #hello everyone #even tho im not here im still here <33

[jack-kellys]

hey y’all so this is the fic I wrote for Saph’s contest!

——————

no such thing

words: 1500

warnings: angst, implied death, swearing

———————

Jack felt like he was doing well. Social outings were becoming more frequent, him even hosting more than a few of them. He was painting again, after such a lack of inspiration. He’d jumped into work more than before, busying himself with his job.

Distracting himself, Davey would correct him.

Distracting, okay, fine. But it was working. Things were better than they’d been before.

Jack had just come home from Race’s that night, tired from the night’s excitement but with a clear vision in his head he just had to get down on a canvas.

He was about to put his brush to it when he was interrupted.

“What are we painting this time, Jacky?”

The brush froze after it nearly dropped from his hand, Jack letting out a humorless laugh. “Jesus Christ, Dave. Don’t scare me like that.”

“Sorry,” Davey whispered his apology with a smile. “Habit.”

Jack only nodded, resisting the urge to turn around. His brush travelled in short lines up and across the bottom, a dulled aqua color as he tried to conjure what was in his head.

“You know,” Davey continued to speak, “we haven’t had a date night in a while.”

Jack hummed in agreement, eyes narrowed at the canvas now. The previous vision he had was fading, suddenly.

“We should plan one out, I think. I know we’re both busy, but we deserve a break. You deserve a break, honey.”

“Dave,” Jack did allow himself to turn towards his husband, who was perched on their armchair.

A mistake, really. Davey glowed tonight, his pale skin illuminated by the moon waiting over the railing of their fire escape. The slight breeze from the open terrace ruffled his chestnut hair, displacing it just right.

Jack snapped his gaze back to his canvas. “You’re distractin’ me, sweetheart, c’mon.”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” Davey sighed. “You’ve just been so tense lately. I thought that was my job.”

Jack chuckled, wincing internally. He had shoved himself under a lot lately; typical of Dave to see it before Jack said anything.

“It was. I wish it still was,” Jack joked, earning a small, tinkly laugh from Davey.

“It’s...hard.”

Davey nodded his agreement, but still looked ready to add something.

Jack relented in his concentration again, sliding his deadpanned gaze to Davey’s. “Say it, come on,” he sighed with a tired smile.

“It’s just that- well,” Davey immediately let the words fall out. “You should allow yourself a break if the tensity is weighing on you, right?”

“Right…” Jack raised an eyebrow, signaling for Davey to continue.

The brunette stood, coming up behind Jack and placing his hands on his shoulders. Jack couldn’t help leaning back into it, a little.

“Let me share the weight,” Davey murmured. “Please, baby. You're hurting.”

Davey’s arms came around Jack’s torso, his head placed in his shoulder, and Jack’s vision of the canvas vanished from his mind. He turned in Davey’s embrace, wrapping his arms around his neck and inhaling deeply as he tucked his head under Davey’s chin. Dave’s arms squeezed around Jack’s back, warm and waiting and everything he wanted. Jack let his eyes close, pictures of memories passing through his mind, sweet and smooth like honey. He didn’t want to be anywhere else but with Davey. Couldn’t imagine it.

Jack’s eyes opened.

Yes, he could imagine it. He didn’t even have to.

“Okay, Dave. Lemme go,” he asked.

“Nope,” Davey hummed. The embrace grew closer.

Was Davey even warm?

“Dave. Let go, come on.”

“I regret nothing,” Davey sang.

No, Jack didn’t think he was. He was cold, actually.

“Davey, I love you, but please. Don’t touch me,” Jack whispered.

Davey let out a long sigh, but did release Jack. “Don’t worry, that was just plan A anyway.”

Jack stepped further away from him at that. “Dave, what does—”

“I know you can’t really let me go, Jacky, that’s why I’m still here,” Davey said, in that knowing tone he used when Jack was wrong. His arms were crossed now, too, like a father about to lecture his son.

“No,” Jack said anyway, shaking his head. “You ain’t here, I let you go, I watched them—”

“—lower me into the ground, yes,” Davey sighed. “You know that doesn’t mean I’m gone to you, right?”

Jack averted his gaze. Of course he knew. He’d been seeing Davey for weeks, each time making his heart strings heavier and heavier. He physically ached for David some days, the days Dave didn’t appear. Jack was told those were actually his healthiest days, despite them feeling the worst.

Jack decided against replying, hunching himself on the couch as he sat down. “But why is my vision gone?” he murmured instead, partially to himself.

“Your what?”

“My...ah, my- what I was gonna paint,” Jack said, staring in disbelief at the small amount of blue on the canvas. It had been so clear in his head just minutes ago. “I can’t think of it anymore.”

A thought struck him as his head snapped back up to Davey. “You did that,” Jack said slowly, not wanting to admit it. “You yanked it right outta me, didn’t you. I needed that, I coulda made commission on that. Fucking- goddammit.”

Davey sighed, shrugging as he gave up on playing dumb. “Technically...you did that, Jack.” When Jack still glared, Davey continued. “What’s the only thing you can think about, right now?”

Jack leaned back on the couch, eyes narrowed not only at Davey but also in thought. He definitely couldn’t think of his previous artistic vision, thanks to Dave. Jack remembered when Davey used to give him little inklings all the time, in menial things he said, even in the lilt of his voice sometimes. Occasionally Davey would actually try and give Jack an idea, but when he did, they'd always be slightly off, not belonging on a page. There was one time when Davey was furious at Albert for something and Davey practically demanded Jack to paint—on the largest canvas he could find, too—the most realistic rendering of flipping the bird, and send it straight to Al’s door. Of course Jack did, gleefully did, and then—

Oh.

“You,” Jack said quietly. “Just you.” He sat forward and resumed his hunched position, placing his head in his hands as memories of Davey continued to station themselves in his head.

Jack felt the couch sink next to him, then Davey’s hand rubbing up and down his back.

“I’m not asking you to not think of me,” Davey said, matching Jack’s previous volume. “I just need you to let me go, every once and awhile, okay?”

“I can’t, Davey, I-I—” Fuck. Jack felt his throat close slightly and cursed himself for it. “I need you. I need you to do this with me, I can’t live like this anymore.”

“Honey...” Davey soothed, brows creased in concern. “Jack, you have been. You’ve been doing so well, I swear it. You just gotta go the extra step now, okay? Just one more for me.”

“But I won’t see you,” Jack whispered inwardly, fearfully almost. Davey felt like the last thin strand of sanity he was clinging to, if he snipped that… “I don’t know what to do without you, Dave.”

“You’ll never be without me, hun, really,” Davey added as Jack looked up. He let Davey swipe his thumb under his eye. “You can let go and still hold on.”

“How?” Jack asked hollowly. His eyes were wide, desperate. He hated how afraid he was, still, of losing Davey, even though he already had.

“Well,” Davey said, sitting up more in that way he used to when he was about to make a point, “when you think of me, let it make you happy instead of...despairing, shall we say. Let it remind you that you are capable of being happy again. Let my memory...let me make you happy again. Allow it, it’s alright.”

Jack stayed quiet for a long while, staring at Davey’s hands now laid over his own. He still couldn’t picture anyone else’s hands looking like that on his.

“You sound like you’re presenting a damn PowerPoint presentation,” Jack mumbled, the barest trace of a smile on his face.

“It’s what I do best,” Davey laughed, and Jack could see the tears in his eyes, too. “...Are you ready, honey?”

Jack let out a breath he’d been holding since the funeral.

“Yeah- oh, wait,” he smirked, cradling Davey’s face in his hands and softly pressing their lips together, one last time and impossibly close as usual, before pulling away slightly.

“Now I’m ready,” Jack managed to smile, leaning his cheek into Davey’s hand when he brought it up to cup Jack’s face.

“I’ll see you around, Jacky,” Davey whispered with a nod. “I love you. You can do this.”

Jack nodded back. “Love you too.”

The feel of Davey’s hand disappeared. Jack blinked, and Davey was gone.

A few minutes later, Jack let himself get up from the couch and back to his canvas. He paused, staring at the lonely blue again more intently.

....Wasn’t that the color of Davey’s button down he had just been wearing?

He gazed at it longer, before finally deciding to pick up his brush again. A pale yellowed pink, a chestnut brown, and a maple syrup color made their ways onto the canvas eventually. A portrait of Davey gazed back at Jack after a few hours of work, his knowing smile reaching Jack through the paint.

And Jack smiled back. After all, it made him happy.

————

so I wouldn’t say I’m back, but I’m happy I wrote this :)

TAG LIST

@suddenly-im-respecsable @getchapapes @felix-loves-albert-and-ralbert @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn @stopthe-presses @technically-whizzy @papesdontsellthemselves @starrysence @seasickdolphin @iamliterallyaghost @beep-beep-byler @the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog @thomasbeingthomas @the-king-of-brooklyn @localfakeitalian @thebroadwayaesthetic @spot-me50-papes @i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing @iwontfallinlovewfalling @gahbliz @kingofsantafe @we-dont-sell-papes @eveningpaper @sure-as-a-star @godhatesjordan @awkwardstranger98 @ireallyloveiainyoungwow @big-potato-asshole @have-we-got-news-for-you @bxnesof92 @backgroundensemble @orollyitsracetrackhiggins @a-most-auspicious-erster @modern-race-owns-airpods @asphodelnerd @albert-eats-cookie-cake @infinity-fandom-trash @whateva-ya-want

hey so obvious a lot of these don’t work so pls message me, URLs have changed a LOT recently!

#my writing #yayeet #newsies fics #javid #jack kelly #davey jacobs #fizz freaks #saph tag #newsies

[mental-health-advice]

Submissions from 🦚🌺

So took me a while to scroll through to my last tagged ask (for some reason searching didn’t work). So much about staying consistent and actually tagging my stuff from now on. Gosh uff. The one where sibling found possible drugs and the one about mom being xenophobic almost causing shut down as in passing out were me too. I usually either tend to forget to tag or I guess am kinda scared since I feel I send in A LOT? I really don’t know. It’s just a lot going on and I feel bad always (1🦚🌺)

I feel bad always throwing all my stuff at my friends. Especially as one friend a few years ago was diagnosed with depression. Idk what her current situation is tho except that she seems to do better. I won’t ask her since I feel weird about that stuff. Plus really unless she wants to tell me it’s none if my business. But yeah that’s that I guess. Now… I’ve been rejected from the art college/highschool unfortunately so that’s out the window. My therapist suggests volunteer year 2🦚🌺

Whivh we have a social and economic one of I think? Idk. I know social won’t work because of my likelyhood of social anxiety which kinda self explanatory I guess. Economic I’m just scared I wont be able to pull the whole tear through, scared to do stuff wrong etc. Hell I spent 2 low sleep nights crying after the rejection and mom forced the answer out of me when I clearly didn’t want to talk about it. Turned into an argument about how I got forced into abitur/regular highschool 3🦚🌺

And OBVIOUSLY she blames dad for it. Which like… great whatever he told her. My point is HE was more supportive in front of ME than she was. She just tore me down 2 years ago. Next week I dont have a therapist appointment since she will be moving. So I’m praying this week will go by smoothly. Well as smooth as it can go with all the arguments around here I guess. I’m still trying to process everything since March 4🦚🌺

1? 2? I’ve lost track of time … weeks ago she and her bf fought very badly and she essentially ran away for an hour, he claimed he is leaving but then stayed. My younger sisters were all crying, my brothers were just not surprised and I had to try call family members (which calling others is a physical challenge for me) trying to find a way to deal with what happened. My therapist knows about this incident. She now also knows moms bf smokes weed but not about what 5🦚🌺

else we found. I’ll see if I can bring it up soonish since it still worries me… my brother also later confirmed again he caught them snorting it so yeah most likely we are right about it being cocaine. I feel uncomfortable looking up the effects of it but my cousin said that could explain a lot of moms behavior. Shes always been this way I think.I right now dont even remember where I was going with this ask chain hhhh frick.I’m loosing track of myself once again please send help 6🦚🌺

(Have to switch to browser because app again refuses to let me send stuff wtf) My mom also is back onto “oh you just have split personality!” … I have informed myself on DID and OSDD, I have symptoms yes. But I doubt it’s that. In fact my therapist even talks about that stuff with me! I have different parts but mom doesn’t know they exist so idk. I tried to literally tell her how DID is made and she didn’t want to listen. She claims she did almost everything right and I’m making up 7🦚🌺

My trauma. So you would think that she would stay away from assuming such a trauma heavy diagnosis. Welp she actually doesn’t know anything about mental health either way and legit took my brother off his adhd meds years ago because “they changed him too much” and then refused to take him to appointments when we noticed signs of tourette in him because she felt like she fucked up as parent?? Wat?? I can’t make sense of this woman anymore tbh 8🦚🌺

Sorry that this is all over the place, it’s 1am for me rn, I cant sleep really, still am trying to process I won’t see my friend who I was looking forward to seeing this year for 2-3 years and who would have been a temporary escape from this hellhole until at least another year or 2 depending on the situation, being in the top 10 corona countries and in fact second most infected state in germany and really just switching between sliding down to a kid and /or almost passing out 9(?)🦚🌺

almost passing out when trauma responses shut me down and I just can not describe my emotions of the past months other than I just want someone to hug me and to feel safe and to feel like this mess at home and the world isn’t happening. My mind is all over the place and I feel like at this point I’m going insane and I’m not making any sense anymore. Again sorry for the probably stupid rant/,vent that probably made no damn sense idek anymore - final🦚🌺

So much about what I sent in yesterday hoping for the best. 3 hours ago I woke up to a message chain about how we (me and my siblings. We are 6 in total) apparently abuse her and use her. And basically just complaining about the tiniest things regarding chores. For example yesterday I completely cleaned the kitchen and she complained because some dishes stood around since people still ate AFTER I did the chores. Like tf. My friends say it seemed like from the screenshots that she is 1🦚🌺

using us as tools? Idek anymore. She also completely ignored me sending her and asking her stuff about the valounteer year last night since the school rejected me and I need that alternative. Apparently a clean flat is more important than my literal future. On the other hand I for once had a normal conversation with my almost 15yo brother (I’m almost 19, however not mentally and also not in the position to move still especially with the virus and all) and it turned out that he shares 2🦚🌺

Moms views on therapy whivh I’ve mentioned in the past aren’t really the best views on it. So yeah that’s just great. He basically just thinks it’s stupid. Either way. Currently my only way of possibly getting away would be a psychiatric /mental hospital stay. THING IS while I’m bety aware it isnt like in the movies I am deadly afraid of the thought. Not having my freedom to come and go when I please, not being able to meet up with friends or something etc. I would not feel safe and 3🦚🌺

it would just expose me to a lot of stress and anxiety which wouldn’t be any better than being yelled at constantly at home and having mom shit talk my friends. Everything is just kinda a mess with her rn and my siblings don’t see it from my perspective. Like YES we mess up and don’t do things right. She has a reason to be mad. But NO she doesn’t have the tight to essentially abuse us and no her behavior isnt parenting this is manipulation. 4🦚🌺

They only see the first half and think she’s in the right… I myself struggle to differentiate right and wrong and am unable to read situations well, which is why it took me 17-18 years and my friends calling it out to realise this is wrong. But I at least listen… they don’t. I sometimes just wish I grew up in a stable functioning family. Or honestly that she never even had me since she was VERY young when she had me so that’s probably why she never learned how to 5(?)🦚🌺

Act properly towards us. As she had me when she was just my age (18) and then the following 8 years had 4 more of my 5 siblings. I feel she never had time to grow up and learn herself especially considering she was abused herself…. final🦚🌺

Hi 🦚🌺, 

It's good to hear from you again! There's absolutely nothing wrong with messaging us often, so feel free to tag all of your asks that you send in! I think that will actually make it easier on both of us, as you'll be able to find responses easier and I can look back on your previous asks easier to make sure I'm not missing anything or repeating myself :) Also, the search function on tumblr is quite picky, so unfortunately it can be hard to find posts. I've run into the same issue with locating old asks on the blog as well! 

It's understandable that you don't want to bug your friends with your problems, especially if they have some mental health struggles of their own. However, it might help to think of it this way: mental illness is so common that chances are most people you meet will have some sort of struggle with their mental health, which means you wouldn't be able to talk to anyone about your struggles if you don't want to bother someone who struggles with their mental health. That doesn't seem fair to you! While everyone needs to have boundaries, especially to protect their health, I think it's reasonable to share things with your friends when you're struggling. You deserve that support, especially with everything else you have going on in your life! 

It must have been devastating to not get into art school and I'm so sorry that happened! It does sound like volunteering could be a potential route for you to go down, even if it's just until you figure out what you want to do in the future. It makes sense that certain volunteer options can be rolled out based on the nature of the work and the things you struggle with. Perhaps there is something you could do from home that wouldn't trigger your anxiety. For instance, I volunteer for a text-based suicide hotline, which I do from home. I'm not saying you have to do something exactly like this, but it might spark an idea that you or your therapist maybe haven't thought of yet. It's just something to think about. 

What's going on with the drugs in your house is definitely concerning and I think it would be a good idea to bring that up with your therapist. It's really dangerous to have these kinds of drugs around with younger kids being there. Not only is it possible for kids to accidentally get into it and harm themselves, but it's also dangerous for them to be around adults that are high because of their erratic behaviors. This is why I think it would be wise to talk to your therapist about this to see what input she has. 

It's great that your therapist has talked to you about your diagnoses as well as what you don't have that your mom has tried to say you have. I'm sure it's frustrating to have your mom make those accusations, but I think it's good that you at least have your therapist there to reassure you that you don't in fact have those diagnoses. 

It's so disappointing that your friend won't be able to visit as you guys had planned because I know you were really looking forward to that! Unfortunately, coronavirus seems to ne ruining plans for most people all over the world. Hopefully you guys will be able to come up with another plan for meeting up, though it likely won't be able to happen until the pandemic is more under control. Still, at least making tentative plans for meeting in the future may give you both something to look forward to once travel is finally safe again. 

I'm so sorry that your mom treats you and your siblings this way. It does sound like she may use you guys as tools, as your friends put it. This is sometimes another sign of abuse/neglect, which honestly isn't surprising considering all of your mom's other behaviors.

What you mentioned about getting out of the house makes sense and I agree that an inpatient stay might not be the best way to go about it. Not only will that be more restrictive, as you mentioned, but most hospitals won't allow inpatient stays unless the person is incapable of keeping themselves or others safe while receiving outpatient care (though I obviously don't know whether this is the case for you). I still think it's a good idea to keep thinking about potential ways of getting out of your mom's house once you're ready for that. One option I'm wondering about is a group home (I think these may be called something else in other countries but it's basically a house where several adults with varying physical and/or mental illnesses live together and there are usually various types of staff who also stay there). These can sometimes be a bit restrictive, but much less so than a hospital would be. I believe they typically have a curfew, otherwise you're allowed to leave during the day. Although I'm not sure if this would be a viable option for you (and it probably wouldn't be anyway until after the pandemic is more controlled), it's just something that popped into my head when thinking about other ways of eventually getting you away from your mom's abuse.

What you said about your mom's parenting vs. manipulation is 100% accurate. It's very common for someone who was abused by parents to go on to abuse their own children unless they put in the effort to change, but know that you still don't deserve to be abused and manipulated. It's not your fault that your mom was abused and never unlearned the negative behaviors she saw experienced as a child. You and your siblings all deserve so much better than this! 

-Samantha 

#abuse #abusive parent #drugs #drug use #family #🦚🌺 #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #mhasamantha

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Get to know the blogger!

Tagged by @cometogethcr

i’m tagging you !!

FIRST NAME jen!!

STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF my mouth is smol so i have one (1) vampire tooth it’s pretty sick

TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON hair, eyes, legs

A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF cheezits...........

A FOOD YOU HATE sunflower seeds

GUILTY PLEASURE ice cream at midnight

WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN t-shirt and pajama pants but sometimes.....sometimes i take the pants off at night

SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS serious relationships!!

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE probably would’ve told myself to fucking suck it up and just get my license already lmao

ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON i think so yeah!!  at the moment i do a lot verbal affection but i’m open to cuddling when i don’t feel gross

A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN murder on the orient express, the adventures of tintin (i have in fact watched that movie many times)

FAVORITE BOOK anything by agatha christie, dread journey by dorothy b hughes is also pretty good

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE chinchilla or baby goat

TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] fish/harmony, riley/emmett, chef/clarisse, riley/quinn, abigail/haley

PIE OR CAKE mmmmmmmm yes

FAVORITE SCENT vanilla cinnamon yum

CELEBRITY CRUSH ellen page

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO i would like to go to ohio............for reasons

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT i used to think i was an introvert but i’m proving to be more extroverted?  i just show it different (i.e. online)

DO YOU SCARE EASILY oh yeah i freak out a lot

IPHONE OR ANDROID iphone my family is an apple family

DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES animal crossing baby!!  and stardew

DREAM JOB i’d love to write some books some day, or publish them, or be a librarian

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS save a lot, get an apartment with the gf, get a pibble

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE joker, harley quinn deserves to be w plant wife

FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER uhhhhhhhhh i used to be a weeb and now i’m less?

#cometogethcr #( ooc ) jen b talkin #//bonjour