#i feel pressured to take it alot more seriously than i do and its stressing me out

[burgeredagent]

i think my homestucking days are closing on me... (proceeds to post a completely contradictory dump)

#no but seriously #the other day when i thought abt finishing or continuing with anything homestuck related i became physically ill #like sick to my stomach idk what to do abt it #i still love some characters i guess but like idk #i feel pressured to take it alot more seriously than i do and its stressing me out #idk #its all I have going on rn so idk what else ill do and i doubt anyone wants to see anything else #lol anyway #homestuck #doc scratch #dave strider #kanaya maryam #eridan ampora #sn0wman #nepeta leijon #jade harley #doodles #dump #agtburgerart #you can tell im seriously torn up abt this cause of how disorganized these tags are

[underwaterdevil]

I saw your “Im looking for mutuals to be friends with” post and let me tell you, I have So Many Thoughts about Shigaraki

like, I feel like people don’t really think about how tragic of a character he is! I didn’t really like the way he was framed as a “man-child” because so many of his behaviors, especially relating to video games and action figures/plushies seemed like he was genuinely in so much distress that he was involuntarily age regressing and AFO was using his impaired state of mind to manipulate him into thinking he’s playing a big game of heroes and villains

I think it’s very likely that he was stuck in the mindset of a scared little kid well into his twenties and that AFO forced himself into the role of father in a way he felt that Shigaraki would think of as normal when he knew the situation Shigaraki was in.

this is also reflected in the way that Shigaraki treats Kurogiri like an older sibling, since at the time that AFO… adopted? kidnapped? Shigaraki, he was struggling with the loss of his big sister. In all likelihood, AFO started out by trying to remake Shigaraki’s family with himself as head of the family.

YES I LOVE PARAGRAPHS P L E A S E ENABLE MY SPECIAL INTEREST 🤤

a n y w a y

I totally agree with everything you said. Shigarakis character is so tragic when you get into it. Alot of people are desensitized to media because of how fucked up anime backstories can get, so i feel like Shigarakis situation isnt treated as seriously as it should be by most of the fandom.

Alot of his mannerisms and hobbies are definitely very childish and could indicate that certain things (the hands) could trigger him into a more infantile like state of mind. Thus making him more impulsive, violent, and less concerned with the consequences of his actions with concern to other peoples lives (please note im talking about early shigaraki). Alot of times children will exhibit violent behavior not out of pure malicious interests but because they're state of mind makes them more reactive. I think shigaraki gets triggerd in his everyday life and gets triggered to become violent. For example he gets incredibly violent and angry during stressful situations, more than the fellow leauge members. So there definitely could be an argument made that some part of his brain regresses when exposed to triggers OR part of his brain is less developed due to the trauma.

His interests also show he likes more socially childish things, especially when you take into consideration that hes in japan. If you look at the picture of his room in the manga we see plushes and figurines, which adults definitely collect aswell, but the ones he collects look more like action figures and not really collectable figures (thats just my opinion though) and also the plushy shows that he does have an interest in these more childish things because i kinda doubt AFO or Kurogiri bought it for him.

When people face as bad of trauma as shigaraki did (physical abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, killing his entire family) its not uncommon for them, purposefully or not, to regress to a younger age usually the age at which the trauma occurred. I think shigaraki, wether or not his hobbies have to do with age regression, is at a higher risk of developing this coping mechanism. He is obviously under stress alot. And he was kidnapped by AFO and groomed. Constantly under the expectation of "demon lord" and the pressure of iving up to AFOs potential. I could definitely see him locking his door getting snacks, playing games, looking at his figures and plushies, and feeling his mind slipping him into a younger mental age. But i can also see him get triggerd by any sudden movements or violence and get involuntarily put into a more regressed state of mind.

AFO definitely is trying to make a family for tomura, but not for tomuras sake. We saw that AFO loved his brother and family obviously is something he values so want to have tomura act as his child could provide him some sort of emotional satisfaction. (Along with the satisfaction of knowing his evil is working) And shigaraki definitely treats Kurogiri like an older sibling figure, i have an older sister and the way they interact reminds me of my sister and i. I think shigaraki may subconsciously replacing hana but i also think that tomura is just hanging onto the only person who has been there and provided for him (emotionally).

Sorry if this makes no sense or has mistakes im writing this as my sleeping pills are kicking in and while im watching YouTube so my mind is all over the place but nowhere at the same time lmao im just ranting aboit shigaraki putting whatever came to mind on this post. I might sit down and make an in depth and more well put together post about this ask because i think its super interesting i love tomura shigaraki so much omfg

Thank you so much for sending this ask!!!!

#mha #ask #awesome mutuals #mha spoilers #shigaraki mha #shigaraki #tomura #mha tomura #tomura shiragaki #my hero academia #shiggy #mha headcanons #shigaraki headcanons #mha tomura shigaraki #mha theory #bnha spoilers #my villain academia

[domesticandlovingmonsters]

I'm a different anon, and a fellow writer, who thinks that it's very valid and normal of you to take time away from writing to enjoy doing other things, like, people need to learn to fking wait and be patient, and more with people that makes free content.

I seriously don’t mind that people ask about my writing and stuff, but I’ve been writing free content for more than 3-4 years. Even though I love it, I love sharing ideas and stories and interacting with my readers and other writers, it gets old when things slow down or you don’t get alot of validation or you just get...bored. 

And sometimes, its nice to do other things for a long length of time without pressuring yourself to write. The past 2 weeks, I’ve done nothing but play 7 Days To Die and Fallout 76 with my partner. And by the Gods, it feels good. A refreshing difference from my constant worry about not writing enough or not doing enough because I’m at home alot.

I will get to writing my requests, please be patient cause this is the first time in a while that I get to hang with my partner for so long without him needing to go to work and come back tired or stressed. 

[snake-noodles]

Hidden Away - Chapter 4

TW: Anxiety/paranoia, body horror, bugs (specifically butterflies), feeling of bugs on skin, lots of death talk, arguing, threats of death, guns, gun violence, implied sensory overload, possible manipulation/gaslighting

Words: 5607

Read on AO3

> Welcome back to Lobotomy Corp, THOMAS.

> Important Message from A

> "Thomas,

Do you believe in the existence of soul? I do. I also believe that the soul itself is the reason of one’s existence. Then, is there a perfect soul? I do not think there is. However, one can endlessly get closer to perfection. The process of it is an endless wave of agony. At the end of such effort, I expect that we will be able to make valuations of everything correctly.

We can make things perfect. Even if some people have to die along the way. I trust you feel the same?

But of course you don't. You have emotions to get in the way of your rational thinking. When you're ready to become a real leader, lets eliminate the ones that are keeping us behind.

Keep up the good work, sir. I expect nothing but perfection."

> …

> Delete message?

>YES

> Message discarded.

Logan felt strange. Not in the way he felt yesterday, but something… different. He feels as though he's forgetting something important. But he can't think. His head hurts. Not from any of the abnormalities, either. No he's been doing good with the abnormalities today. But, speaking of such, he hasn't been tasked to talk with Deceit. It's not as if he cares, but he wonders if they assigned a different employee to him. He's not sure why that would happen, though. He's been doing an excellent job, in his opinion.

Perhaps it was because he messed up and let the abnormality affect him like that. That was quite stupid of him. He should know better. Be better. He's been raised to always be his very best. If he can't do that, then what use is he? No, wait, he cannot allow himself to think like this. He's acting like Virgil.

And look where Virgil ended up.

He shakes his head, adjusting his glasses and deciding to save those thoughts for later. Rationalize them later, and not while he's doing very important work. He looks down, pleased that he's been doing so well today, but something itches at the back of his brain. He swears there's something he's forgetting. Whatever it is, it shouldn't be too important if he forgot it, right? He almost never forgets things.

He straightens his tie as he walks down the hallway. He shouldn't waste more time than he already has. And he hates wasting time. Funny how working makes him less stressed and relaxing makes him more stressed.

He'd been going through the same routine all day. Seeing abnormalities and taking notes. He'd seen all on his team today except for one. Talking to them- or at least listening to their nonsense- and gathering energy. But at least he hasn't messed up today. Everything has been going rather nicely.

And then he spots something that makes his heart (figuratively) drop.

"Logan." The colorless AI catches him, staring with his cold emotionless eyes. And next to him was Thomas.

What the hell was Thomas doing here?

There's a nervous pressure in his chest, and he swallows, adjusting his tie and walking up to the two.

"A." He says as a greeting, straightening his posture. "Am I needed for something?"

"Oh, no. Thomas has decided to stay and run this place himself. Why not introduce him to one of our best employees?" He gives a smile that was out of place on him. Seeing the 'emotionless AI' pretend to feel left him with a strange feeling. Logan decided to look at Thomas instead.

"Mr. Sanders. It's a pleasure meeting you in person, sir." He holds out his hand, which Thomas shakes with a smile- before that smile quickly drops. He wonders why, but doesn't voice his question.

A looks between the two, before facing Logan.

"You did a swell job yesterday. Unlike the rest of your foolish team," He straightens Logan's coat, staring him in the eyes, "You're not afraid to get things done… Your team could learn a lot from you."

Logan doesn't miss the way Thomas tenses up. There's alot to be questioned. But, he's a little confused to say the least. He thought yesterday was a failure. What did he do to deserve any praise?

"Thank you, A, though I am confused why I am getting such praise?" He says, and A doesn't respond, simply giving a knowing smile. Logan doesn't understand. Is there something A knows that he doesn't? He never gets an answer to his question, and it takes some effort to not fidget with his tie.

Quickly, the AI pulls away, standing back at Thomas's side in an instant. They shared a look that Logan couldn't quite understand before he waves his hand in a dismissive manner, closing his cold eyes.

"That will be all. Keep up the good work, Logan. We have some work we need to attend to. Right, sir?"

Thomas doesn't respond. It takes him a moment to realize that Thomas hasn't said a word since Logan approached the two of them. He opens his mouth to speak, but he feels a buzz and looks down. Ah, right. He needs to get back to work. When he looks up, the two are already gone. But, something doesn't feel quite right. Why is Thomas here? What is A planning?

Will things change? And if so, will they be for better or for worse? Then again, he wonders how it could get any worse, unless they end up killing people for no reason, but that'd be illogical to do. He gets another buzz.

> "Logan,

Once you are done with your work for today, I ask that you meet me in my office.

-A"

And that's a terrifying message to receive. He hasn't visited A's office in a long time. What could he even be needed for? He can already tell the rest of the day is going to be long. There's a sense of dread sitting on his shoulders, but he tries his best to ignore it. He knows its not healthy, but he needs to do his job. He's not sure what he should expect. Maybe he'll get thrown out of the window and fall to his death.

God, he can't be thinking like this.

He shakes his head, and enters T-01-68(H) 's room once again. He'd already seen this abnormality, but he was tasked to come in here before it's qliphoth counter reached zero. The tall humanoid's butterfly head flutters as he enters. The calm and solemn atmosphere of the room almost makes him forget how dangerous this abnormality is. Almost.

"What happens when people die?" The question is asked. No matter how many times he enters this room, the abnormality's voice always makes him shiver. Maybe this abnormality wasn't the best one to visit while he was in his current mental state, but he couldn't ignore his orders.

Logan doesn't respond. He simply lets the abnormality talks, all while ignoring his existential dread.

"What happened to those that worked here?" It asks, butterflies landing on its shoulders. "They must have returned home… Where family and warmness await."

The Funeral of the Dead Butterflies- what a long name- gazes down on Logan in silence, with eyes he cannot see.

"But everyone knows that the employees can't leave the company unless they retire." It continues on, the butterflies inside the large coffin festering.  "They must have 'retired' and returned to their homes, having earned what they wanted and full of hope."

Logan could hear the smile in its echoing voice. He exhales through his nose, writing his notes. Just don't think about it.

"But retiring isn't as easy as it sounds. Just like how feathers do not fall out on their own free will. Then where did the retired employees go?" It tilts its head, wings fluttering. "They are bound to the company the moment they enter. They cannot leave even if they retire."

Logan snaps his notebook shut, and the abnormality falls quiet.

"... My coffin isn't big enough to replace hundreds of graves… Do you mourn your fallen coworkers?" It asks, its echoing voice softer than what Logan is used to. He didn't think its voice could get any softer, really.

"No… I don't have time to mourn." He says simply. He's not sure why he answered. He never answers. The butterfly wings flutter once again.

"I've failed to provide proper rest to your friends…" It looks at its empty hands, the two others still holding up the heavy coffin. "... I will wait until the end of time… Wait until I can put their bodies to rest..."

They both fall silent, staring at each other. He could hear the numerous butterflies inside of the large coffin festering and fluttering.  There was a strange feeling of understanding.

...Understanding? No, no, he's just tired. He shakes his head, and leaves the room before he can fall for the insect's trap.

Talking to the abnormality affected him more than it should have, and his results were mostly good. In fact, they didn't need much more information on the abnormality. The only reasons employees were still sent to see it was because if they didn't, it would break out again. And last time it broke out, well… It was certainly not fun. He scratches his arms at the memory, trying to get rid of the phantom feeling of butterflies on his skin.

Why they don't just make better containment cells, he's not sure. Maybe they just wanted everyone to suffer. He wouldn't doubt it, really. The bastards probably count on all of them dying. Then again, if they all died, they wouldn't have people to work for them. Unless they replaced everyone with AIs. That'd probably take a lot of money, though. In fact, how is the company even making money? Is it paid for by the government? Eh.

He shakes his head, sighing. He's thinking too much about the wrong things. He should strictly be thinking of work. Work and nothing else. Just think about work and- oh look Patton's approaching. When did Patton get here? What does Patton need him for?

"Lo-lo! Are you busy? I wanted to talk to you." He says, a strange seriousness in his expression that Logan isn't used to seeing.

"I am in fact busy." He states without a second thought. At that, Patton frowns.

"I made sure to catch you at lunch time- can you not take your lunch break?" He tilts his head.

Was it lunch time already? God, he really needs to focus if he's losing track of time. This doesn't happen to him. He's always on top of things. Always.

"... I suppose."  He says after a brief pause, and the tension in his friend's shoulders releases, a smile on his face.

"Cool! Can we talk somewhere more private?" He blinks, but nods, leading the two of them to an empty breakroom. The breakroom wasn't often used- filled with plants that are probably fake and cheap cafeteria tables and chairs. The two sit down in the uncomfortable seats, Patton shifting and tapping at the table.

Patton looks nervous, still. He isn't sure why.

"Sooo… About what happened yesterday…" He pokes his fingers together, averting his gaze. Logan frowns at this, glancing at the table before looking back at Patton.

"Ah. I am aware I messed up yesterday." He sighs, adjusting his tie.

"Oh-! Really?"

"Yes. I shouldn't have been so careless and let that abnormality affect me. Thank you for the medicine, by the way. I'll try not to let this happen again." He closes his eyes, frowning a little. He doesn't like admitting his mistakes. It's even worse that Patton's not saying anything. Cracking open an eye, he sees his friend looking confused.

"No, Logan, I wasn't talking about that. I was talking about you… y'know... Threatening the abnormality." His voice goes quiet as he says this, pouting.

This was certainly news to him.

He had only visited Deceit once yesterday, and went back to work after he got his medicine from Patton. He never went back in, and he has no memory of threatening anything.

He blinks in surprise, eyebrows furrowed in confusion at this. It takes him a few moments to get his thoughts together to say something.

"Patton- I don't recall ever doing such a thing. Are you sure it wasn't a coworker?" He tilts his head.

"Huh? No! I'm sure it was you!" He squeaks, eyebrows pushed together in concern.

"I can assure you that it wasn't."

"But- what if, uh… What if you got brain wiped?!"

Logan raises an eyebrow, and Patton's face flushes a bit. He sighs, crossing his arms.

"There's probably a more logical explanation to this, Patton. Have you been getting enough sleep? Taking your medicine?"

"I have!" He shouts, stamping his foot and puffing out his cheeks. Logan stares, before looking away with a sigh, shaking his head.  

"We will… resume this later. We should both be getting back to work." He was already tired of today. So much nonsense is happening. His headache grows.

"... Okay, fiiiine. But you better keep your word! We will be talking about this later!" He wags his finger and Logan smiles, only for it to immediately disappear.

"Alright. I'll contact you after I meet with A."

"A? You have a meeting with him? What for?" Patton looks worried again. But that's to be expected. Everyone knows how scary A is.

"I'm not quite sure. I'm certain I'll be fine, he was praising my work this morning, after all." He hums a little. "But we should really get back to work. You may have patients who need you."

"Alright… I'll see you later!"

And with that, they part ways.

It was… a strange conversation. He wonders why Patton would think he'd do such a thing. It would just make his work harder if he were to threaten an abnormality. So silly.

He looks down for his next task and. Wow. Alright. Of course after that strange conversation he's tasked to talk to Deceit. He looks around. There were cameras everywhere- or at least he assumed so. They must be very well hidden, because how else would they receive information? Then again, this may just be a coincidence. He's starting to think like Virgil.

… He stops that train of thought quickly.

It's the same old thing, walking down the hallways to get to Deceit's cell. It wasn't exactly hard to navigate, there were only four abnormalities per team, after all. Three if you didn't count objects- even though they still affected people in strange ways. Standing at the door of the containment, though, he felt odd. Odd like he felt earlier. His gun felt heavier than usual in his coat. But surely it's nothing. He's thinking too much about Patton's words. He huffs, entering the cell.

Deceit looks up, coiling up tighter on himself when he realizes just who it is that entered. Logan doesn't miss the glint of his fangs. He blinks, pulling out his notebook.

"Logan, just the person I wanted to see." He hisses, voice low. "Are you here to finish the job?"

"I'm not sure what you're talking about, Deceit." He squints his eyes, and the snake scrunches his nose, tongue flicking out for a moment. He stands slowly, tilting his head to the side, and Logan looks up at him.

"Hmm…" He hums, inspecting Logan with a cold and calculated gaze. Logan doesn't look away, a tense silence hanging in the air as they hold their stares, neither willing to submit. It lasted for a while, a heavy feeling in the air. Logan willed himself to not click his pen or mess with his tie. Finally, Deceit sighs and steps back, shrinking down onto the floor and resting his head in his hands.  "Whatever. Lets get this over with. As lovely as you are, I don't feel like dealing with you. You understand, right?"

He wears a sickly sweet smile, tilting his head. Logan rolls his eyes, before noticing something. Something that makes his blood run cold.

A bullet hole? In the wall. He blinks slowly, trying to process this new information. How could this happen? Unless Deceit somehow got a gun, this would mean that an employee used their weapon in here. He thinks back on Patton's words and feels his head pounding. This is already too much.

"Oh? Did you finally notice?" He smiles, standing again. "You left that there, you know."

"...What? No. Falsehood! You're a liar, certainly you must be able to manipulate the surroundings. And somehow you got Patton to believe such as well." He straightens his posture, glaring at the serpent.

"Acting so innocent… But you're just a wolf in sheep's clothing. I'm not the only one you've threatened, hm? You've scared others before, right? You've killed others! Surely this isn't out of the realm of possibility, little wolf! I bet you're just waiting for the day I escape so you can kill me yourself !" The snake shouts, drawing closer still to Logan.

"Quiet! This is all utter nonsense." He wills himself to not step back, standing his ground. "You simply want to get under my skin. Enough of your trickery- I'm just here to get my job done, and I don't have to deal with you."

The snake straightens, and laughs, hand coming up to his mouth in an attempt to silence himself.

"Oh little wolf, you have no idea…" He smiles, showing off his long fangs. "But, fine. Don't listen to me. No one said you had to in the first place."

Logan grits his teeth, hold on his pen tightening, before he lets out a breath.

"You're quite an annoyance." He purses his lips, rubbing his temples and trying to get himself to calm down. Getting upset won't do any good for him.

"Oh, I know!" He says a little too enthusiastically. "Maybe if I'm annoying enough you guys will get tired of me and throw me out."

"That wouldn't happen."

"... I know that. For someone so smart, you don't understand others very well, do you? You can't read the room, or tell sarcasm. You're just horrible when it comes to emotions and other people. Am I right?"

Deceit was, in fact, incredibly right. But Logan would never admit it. And like the snake had just said, he didn't have to listen to any of his nonsense. Though, something still tickled at the back of his mind, and his eyes once again trail to the bullet hole. It's not true, that'd be completely illogical if it were. He remembers no such thing occurring, after all. It's an illusion, perhaps. He'll have to write down that this abnormality is capable of making illusions. There's a lot of things in the works just to keep this abnormality contained. He overheard plans to remake the room so that he cannot connect to others. Then there's also the eyepatch he won't be able to remove. He wonders what else they'll do. He wouldn't be surprised if they put a muzzle on him and chained him down. That's what they did with Remus, after all.

"You're thinking hard over there. Did you really learn so much from just standing in this room with me?" The snake asks, laying on his stomach and kicking his feet like a teenage girl, his tail swaying slowly.

Logan doesn't acknowledge him.

Of course, remaking the room would mean they'd have to put the snake to sleep and in an even smaller containment while the room gets renovated. Most abnormalities become more violent after being temporarily relocated. He imagines that being in a dark metal box with no light at all would be alot worse than this already small, plain room. He isn't sure how abnormality's minds work, but humans being in isolation like that without light would drive someone mad, depending on how long they're kept in there for.

Wait, why is he even thinking about this? He has to be working.

"I doubt you will answer me honestly, but may I ask about your history before coming here." He raises an eyebrow to the reptile.

"Of course! Why, I was born on an alien planet and was sent to earth as a child once my planet exploded." He says, a fake smile playing on his lips.

"As expected. I'll have to ask a different time." He sighs, shaking his head. "I am surprised though. Isn't that a plot for… a superhero thing? I didn't think you'd know of such tropes."

"I lived in the woods, not under a fucking rock. I may not look like you, but I was raised mostly the same way. Yet, I'm held in captivity like a wild animal." He hisses.

"Interesting." Logan hums, writing this new information down, to which the snake curses under his breath for even giving a sliver of information about himself.

It's silent again. The only sounds being Logan's pen scratching at the paper. This research has been going better than expected- even though he hasn't learned a lot of new things from the snake yet. Deceit has been staring at him. He's not sure why. When he chances a look, he's met with green and gold, staring him down in an unreadable expression. He raises an eyebrow, a silent question.

"Are you really okay with dying here?" The snake asks, never tearing his eyes away. "Employees that work here aren't allowed to leave, right? Why would you accept working here and accept inevitable death? Why did you sign up for this?"

His questions made Logan uneasy in a way he didn't understand. He opens his mouth to speak, but shuts it quickly, staring.

"Are you really okay with being forgotten, dead in this hell?"

"How would I be forgotten?"

The snake smiles, leaning back and laying out his hands.

"Well, allow me to propose a… hypothetical." He starts, making dramatic gestures as he speaks. "If someone was alone in the forest, and no one saw the death blow, and no one found the body… Did the attack actually happen?" They go silent for a few seconds.

"Of cou-"

"The answer is: nobody ever knew they existed. Therefore, nobody will care no matter what the answer is. They may as well have never been alive in the first place... Do you understand what I'm saying, Logan?" He stares, standing once again.

"I…" He stammers, his eyebrows furrowed in thought.

"Everyone here will be forgotten. In a few decades, their families won't be there to remember them. And this building is hidden away anyway, right? You'll die, and it'll be as if you've never been alive in the first place. Your death doesn't change anyone else's lives."

"Yes, but that could be said about death in general."

"That's true… But do you really want to die here? Die without letting yourself be known? Humans are capable of doing great things, yet you threw away your life to study freaks of nature, never to be remembered."

"I do not wish to be remembered." Logan states after a long pause. "I do not care if I make an impact or not. It is my life, and mine alone. Why should I care if no one remembers me?"

"Then why'd you throw away your freedom to work here?"

He hesitates, before settling his firm expression. "I have no obligation to tell you anything. I think I've heard quite enough from you today." He sorts his things, his posture straight. The serpent gives a low laugh.

"Even though you're smart, your mind is so fragile. They've already got their claws around you… manipulating you like a puppet." Before Logan can argue, he continues, "But whatever… Move along, little wolf. I'm sure you're needed elsewhere."

Logan stills for a moment, staring at the serpent. There was something he was missing. But he's not quite sure what it is. He narrows his eyes.

"What is it that you're planning?" He asks. The snake smiles, as if he knew this question was coming.

"I have no idea what you mean." He replies simply. Now, Logan could easily press the abnormality to speak more, but he didn't want to risk anything. The snake was probably venomous, after all. He does wonder what effects the venom has, but he should save that for a different meeting. He shakes his head, sighing.

He doesn't say anything as he leaves the room.

The halls, although employees and clerks walked to and fro, felt incredibly empty. He notices that the lights are a lot dimmer in the hallways than in the containment rooms. He's not sure how he's never noticed it until now. For the hallway that leads to Virgil's containment it makes sense. The man is terrified of the dark. But it suddenly feels dimmer everywhere in general.

His thoughts go back to Deceit and Patton's words. It was a strange thing to think about, really. Death… illusions… so much nonsense that's hard to sort through. His head is pounding, and he can tell that he's almost at his limit. Just a bit longer though. Everything will be fine.

It seems he only has one more task to do before going up to see A. That felt… quick. A little too quick. Days here are usually very long. Perhaps he's lost track of time again? He hopes not. That'd be very unfortunate.

But he should get to work, then he'll mentally prepare himself.

Surprising as it is, talking to the abnormality actually calmed him. She was happy when he walked in, so that probably explains it. But now that he has no more tasks, a heavy feeling weighs him down. He hasn't been to A's office in a while. It's on the very top floor, too. His heart is beating more than it should. He shouldn't be nervous about something like this.

Shaking his head, he enters the elevator. Usually, he doesn't mind silence, but the pressure in the elevator was suffocating. He's fine- he keeps telling himself this. The way up to his office is long. The only thing reminding him that the elevator is actually moving is the small shaking and the clanging. He flexes his fingers, before holding his hands together- adjusting them awkwardly before holding them behind his back. He couldn't tell if it was just him or if the elevator was making him shake. He straightens his posture, taking a few deep breaths.

It's fine. He signed up for this job. He can deal with talking to an AI.

He doesn't know how long it took for the elevator to get to the very top floor. In actuality, it was probably only a few minutes, but it felt a lot longer.

When the doors open, he squints at the bright fluorescent lights, a huge change from the dark hallways underground. He steps out, looking around. He hears something tapping. Like soft patting against the walls. It takes him a moment to realize what he's hearing is rain. He hasn't heard the sound of rain in awhile. If only he could see it. It seems even up here there are no windows. He exhales slowly, walking down the empty, white hallways. It felt almost like a hospital, only much more quiet. The only sound present was the tapping of the rain against the building. He makes it to A's office a little quicker than he would have liked, but it's fine. The sooner this gets over with the better.

He knocks twice on the door.

"Hello. This is Logan. May I come in?" He asks. There's some shuffling behind the door before it opens itself. He gives a nod, walking inside.

The room was dark compared to the bright hallways. The only light was on the large screen, and A sat in his chair, staring at Logan. Thomas was nowhere in sight.

"Logan." He says with a nod, gesturing to the seat in front of him. He takes the seat.

"A." He says back. "May I ask why you've called me here?"

"Well, it's about yesterday's performance." He gives a smile with no feeling behind it. It looked incredibly out of place on him. "You're quite bold, I must say. Usually I would be against harming abnormalities when they haven't even breached, but…"

He leans in, and Logan feels his heart drop.

"Between you and me, I think everyone should be taking notes from you."

"I'm not sure what you're talking about." Logan says, voice much quieter than usual.

"Oh, I know." He gives a knowing look, and straightens his coat. "I know everything that happens here. And I know things you don't. Like how you threatened O-01-62(H) yesterday. But I already know you don't remember that."

Logan opens his mouth, trying to find the words to speak. But nothing comes out. This can't be right. This must be a trick or something. He has no memory of this. It can't be true- this is all nonsense. His grip on his knees tighten.

"You're thinking quite hard… Don't worry, I won't punish you." A promises, but with how flat his voice is, it's hard to tell if he really means it.

"Why… How did I forget such a thing?" Logan asks, the smallest hint of distress in his voice, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Oh, Logan. You think we don't have the technology for that stuff?" He leans on his hand. "You know, everything in this building affects our employees and their performance. The gas we release and the medicine for example."

Logan swallows, a lump in his throat at this new information. "I don't understand… why would I threaten an abnormality like that?"

The AI stares, eyes cold against him.

"That doesn't matter, dear." He ignores the other's distress easily, rising from his chair and walking to his computer. "But enough of this. I didn't call you here to coach you through your pathetic emotions. You're a good employee. One of our best. And you… will be my ace in the deck."

"What do you mean?"

The AI is quiet for a while, staring up at the screen while Logan sits behind him.

"You will be the key to this company's success. Thomas is set on ruining everything… But you know what's best, right dear?" He turns around, his eyes staring straight into Logan's. It made him feel a strange dread.

"I'm… not quite sure I do." He admits, tearing his eyes away. A approaches, settling a cold metal hand against Logan's cheek.

"Oh, you will soon enough. I expect nothing but perfection from you." He stares Logan down before slowly pulling away.

"Yes sir."

He hums, pleased.

"Good, you'll do good." He nods.

"Is there anything else you need?"

"That is all, but-" Suddenly there's a cold press to his head and the sound of a click. He doesn't need to look up to know it's a gun. He holds his breath. "You will not utter a word about this, understand? You have information that other employees underground do not. I will know if you say anything. Understand?"

Logan holds his breath, before closing his eyes. His body is incredibly rigid, shoulders squared. "Understood."

The gun is taken away and the AI smiles. It's funny how much he smiles for an AI with supposedly no emotions.

"Good. You're dismissed then. I will send you more information later on, my ace." He waves his hand dismissively, looking back at his computer.

Logan nods, and slowly leaves the room, the sudden brightness making him squint his eyes. He blinks a few times, sighing. He has a lot to think about, the new information still processing in his brain. The sound of rain returns to him, and he allows himself a few moments to listen before heading to the elevator.

And once he steps inside, it takes every ounce of self control to not overload. He can wait it out just a bit longer. Just a bit longer and he can go back to his room and let his emotions out. It'd be unprofessional to breakdown like some sort of child.

He hadn't realized how much he's built up, though. There's a throbbing pressure in his head, and he loosens his tie to make it easier to breathe. There's so much buildup. And today was a pile of different emotions he doesn't know what to do with.

A would be ashamed. Emotions shouldn't be necessary. The shaking of the elevator is enough to ground him, but he finds himself swaying absently more than once. His fists are clenched hard, leaving crescent shapes in his palms. His jaw hurts from being so clenched.

Just a bit longer.

The elevator shakes to a stop, and Logan has to keep himself from immediately running to his dorm. The day would be over in 3 minutes exactly.

He reaches his dorm and then…

An alarm sounds, red lights blaring everywhere, bathing everything in a bright red that hurt his eyes. This isn't helping. It's too loud. Too bright. Too much all at once and he wants to scream. He wants to scream, he wants to scream, he wants to-

"Urgent! Abnormality F-06-58(W) has escaped! We need to immediately suppress it!"

His stomach drops.

Remus escaped.

He wants to just enter his room. He can calm down there. He can hide under his covers and wait for everything to pass. His hand itches to open the door, but he decides he can wait just a bit longer.

He's expected to do nothing but perfection, after all.

So before he can even process it, his legs are moving.

#sanders sides #lobotomy corporation #deceit sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #loceit #hidden away #lobotomy corp au #my writing #snake.txt #ask to tag

[medic275]

**The Silent Virus**

Pop up Hospitals & mortuaries

In Recent weeks we have seen Hospital pop up as Temporary measure to help deal with Covid-19 and Patient through the UK there has been many being built or place converted into Hospitals. There are also Mortuaries being built or place converted to help deal with the Covid-19 Deaths, with more popping up this is a *Serious* Measure and is never taken lightly, for these to be built or converted still does not hit home for many - we all take Life for Granted.  

- Life before we know it - 

Before Covid-19 everything was the same in our daily lifes, we did our daily routines Since March when we found out about Covid-19 most people did not take it seriously (I mean what was we really thinking or expecting)? I dont think anyone had an idea of how “BAD” this could truly get, **Wash your hands for 20 Seconds** was this enough? (At the current time yes - AND still is).

Looking around at how the world has changed due to Covid-19 is unremarkable its the weirdest feeling to know the high streets are closed with shops (Mostly) Streets have Practically nobody around Cars all Parked up, with a few still out and about are you = Taking a Necessary Trip? 

The Planet has become like Fallout  with out the wastelands, that said, i Previousy said in Part 1* of this that Covid-19 Is just a Perfect Storm Brewing well it is and soon we are yet to see the real ***JUDGEMENT-DAY***.

Covid 19 is changing life as we know it and  life wont be the same once this is all finally over but it will be a hard lesson to come back from and the damage it is currently causing to people and the world!! 

Fear The Worst = Hope For The Best 

I Recently read a brief post about someone say there has been this many Recovered - However about we share this instead of the deaths...?              Come with me as i Explain something very HARD to understand, With the Amount recovered yes its a great thing and yes that number is a Global Number not consecutively for one Country ( there are country recovered number also) However - Deaths will always **OUTWEIGH**  The Recovered but why? Simple but yet so underlying because the recovered is always a slower pace, where as Deaths are a rapidly Increasing maybe more with people with underlying health condition or the Elderly However if you tell some the Recovery number more than the death people still wont take it as serious Tallying the Deathing and spreading it more will HIT people harder - i will Drive Deaths vs Active Cases Vs Recovered because if it hits home HARDER then maybe they will Think bout this more!! plus there are more and more Cases becoming activated but still alot Critically Ill with Covid-19 and Alot still needing confirming plus alot of cases still unaware of covid-19. 

So Fear for the Worst = Hope for the best - Protect yourself and your Family because this Virus is not one to mess with and will as well as IS leaving a deverstating Disease behind us THE WORLD  has never seen anything like this and is a PANDEMIC   Want to see another day? Want to see your Children Grow up? Then Follow the Rules & Guild lines they are there for everyone's Safety!! 

Do You Want To Die Alone? 

Do you want to die alone or your children to die alone? As much as this is Soul destroying and is not easy to type this is currently the Reality  Nobody want to die really we all have something to life for or want from life does not matter how Big or Smart or Stupid you are we all dont want to die and anyone that says there not afraid to Die theyre already lying to them selfs let alone everyone else,

This Reducing Grown men to tears there is No shame in that ( I have too cried ), the thought of watching a loved one go to Hospital by them self's and not knowing is this the last time? Its Heart Breaking - No one is Super Human No one is Immortal   No one is Safe But By Following simple and easy rules we change the way we are and how we think and protect yourself and everyone.

ITS NOW ALL ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF SURVIVORS WE CAN SAVE!!!  - - - - - We Need To All Work Together - - - - - 

The NHS 

Seeing Nurses Dr’s other Health Care Professionals In full PPE Doing their out Most Best Putting their lives on the line Risking it all to saves all theses People Being Separated from their Own Families  while theyre all Hard at work Battling this - * Virus War * -  Ambulance service trying the out most hardest on the frontline with minimal PPE and the stress of PPE through the UK for all Healthcare Professionals is MIGHTLY Stretched  Now Listen ....

It is safer for people to isolate or just STAY AT HOME, if you require us we will be there, IF its safer to leave you at home than go to Hospital we will go down this Route with extra support - Taking people to hospital NOW in the given climate is not always right or wise - Its like taking you to the Firing Line Honestly we are trying to keep as many out as and where possible for the everyone to Survive.

We are trying to Keep the Pressure of Hospitals as much as possible for the Truly Unwell or In need which at the moment is People that may have Covid-19 or suspected and the Pressure already on the Nurses and Drs is Un-real ive seen it first hand - ive seen Covid-19 First Hand  Just please Stay at Home.

Be A Human By Name Not A Body By Number 

Be a Person with a *Name*

Be Someone to have to something to live for or want

DONT be a Number 

DONT be another Body add to the Deaths 

Breath another day 

See what the Future 

See how we are going to Win the Covid-19 War 

See the *After-Life* of Covid - 19

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP 

Thank you too all Front Line Workers and the NHS and all the Health Care Professionals Risking their lives everyday for all the popluation out there!!

STAY AT HOME SAVE MORE LIVES - STAY AT HOME SURVIVE ANOTHER DAY    

DO ASK WE ALL ASK PLEASE AND FOLLOW THE GUILD LINES!!!

#stayathome #Stayathomesaveslives #stayinlivemore #stayinsavelives covid19 keepclean dontbeanumber

[edinfurs]

Edinburgh December Fursuiting meet: 16th December 2017

After the mixed success of the Loch Lomond trip back in September, I am back to the old faithful. The next fursuiting meet is on the 16th of December.

The Edinburgh fursuiting crew will be going bowling yet again, and all of you(*) are invited to join us! Fursuiters and non-fursuiters alike are welcome to join in a day's celebration of throwing-a-5-to-20-pound-ball-at-some-pins-and-trying-to-smash-them-up-so-good-none-of-them-are-left-standing! So, without further ado, here's our venue!

Tenpin bowling

Unfortunately, while the venue will make sure that we'll have a room to change (most likely the staff toilets, if there's not another spillage of soap), the bar areas will be unavailable. The venue is working on some refurbishments to extend the number of lanes available by an additional 8 lanes. That means that there will be some disruption. For example, storing the cases will be problematic. Fire regulations prevent us for storing it in empty corridors, the staff toilets are small as is, and filling it with boxes is going to help no-one, the kitchen will be busy enough already and with the refurbishments there won't be ANY space left. That means that the venue has asked that if people are coming by car, to please allow people to use it as temporary storage space for their bags, if possible. That also means that it might be handy to park as close to the stairs as possible. Sorry for the inconvenience of this, but this'll be a one-time-only thing I hope!

Our Venue

Tenpin Bowling - Fountain Park, Fountain Bridge, Dundee Street, Edinburgh EH11 1AW

The facility includes;

Bowling, FREE FOR SUITER! For everyone else at £6.05 a head I have managed to secure us a pretty decent discount off of the normal adult prices. See below under 'Costs of Bowling' for more information.

Arcade, for those who don't like bowling as much and/or for those who want to waste some money after the bowling playing video games!

I have booked 3 lanes for us, for an estimated 20 to 25 people. This does not mean that we don't accept any more! Anyone(*) is welcome to attend the event to come and watch, play on the pool tables, enjoy the arcade etc. If we do have more than 20 bowlers, all it means is that I'll have to extend the bowling reservation! A task easily accomplished (hopefully). As a not of difference from last time, the venue asked that we didn't use as many lanes as we did previously, they had to refuse other people their lanes while we were playing, and it did take a while for us to clear out after we were done. So, it's likely that we'll be bowling longer.

As this is a public venue, we would like to remind you that its pretty much common sense to respect other patrons who will be also bowling there that day. As a change to the norm I got the three bowling alleys closest to the door for us this time, for that little bit of extra fresh airTM.

Cost of Bowling

Just to make this very clear, yes this event does cost money! It's not a lot though compared to what it would cost the average joe. I have talked with the manager and he was happy to reduce our cost for bowling:

For the first game, Fursuiters will go FREE. While this is not a new thing, the venue requested that I added a caviat to our reservation, in that the free ride for fursuiters is for the first game only, after which you'll have to pay standard fee. If you wish to play more than one game, let me know beforehand and I'll make the necessary arrangements. It probably means that you'll be on a seperate lane with others who want to have multiple games. I'm not sure how this'll work out, so consider this a trial.

All non-suiters will go for a reduced fee of £6.05 for your first game. Similar to above, if you want to go for two games, let me know beforehand and I'll see if I can make the suitable arrangements. I'd say we'll need at least 5 people to make it viable, and that'll be a mixed group of suiters and non-suiters who want to do multiple games.

The venue would like to limit the amount of transactions as much as possible, so I'll be keeping a list of people, who has paid me, who has to do it otherwise, etc. I'll be opening up a similar system to how I worked out the Edinburgh Zoo trip earlier this year, only this time through Google forms rather than spreadsheet (information safety, you know).

Times and Places

Edinburgh Fursuit Meet Schedule - 16th December 2017

TIME                        LOCATION                                          DETAILS

11:30 - 12:15 - Haymarket Train Station                  Will be waiting around the area in the middle of the station

12:15 - 14:00 - Lunch                                                  There's plenty of food places at Haymarket and the Fountain Park, Pizza hut, Indian all-you-can-eat, Five guys, other stuff

14:00 - 15:00 - Suit up! Lock 'n load!                       Lets get ready to RUMBLEEEE!!!!

15:00 - 17:00 - Fursuit Bowling                                I've reserved the lanes for 3pm, we should be there at LEAST 15 minutes beforehand, probably earlier

17:00 - Onw.. - Cooldown                                          Get your heads off and cool down a bit with a cool drink? I haven't organised it yet, but if people are interested I can book a table somewhere? Last time we went to Starbucks on the top floor above the Cinema. Perhaps something to be repeated?

Traveling Here

If travelling by train or bus, always good to check for any delays and works. If you come by train, I would suggest going for Haymarket train station, as it is the closest. From there, it's about 10 minutes walk to Fountain Park.

If travelling by car, Fountain Park has its own parking garage, free of charge if you're making use of the venues, for up to 4 hours. So either, you leave after 4 hours, or you take your car for a very short spin through the gates and back in. Cheating a little bit, but I don't blame you.

If travelling by bus, Fountain Park is on the lines for many busses coming from the city center. Bus lines 1, 34, 35, 47 stop right in front of it, and 22 and 30 stop right at its back.

Fursuit Walk Previous Pictures

Can be found in the links below!

Foski's pictures of the June 2015 fursuiting meet

My pictures from 15 August 2015

Diamond's October 2015 Fursuiting meet pictures

I have been seriously neglecting to upload the later ones, I am terrible

The Rules

Rules courtesy of Reever.

Don't be a jerk, creepy or overly affectionate to people you don't know. You can TOTALLY hug people (I like them personally) but always ask first.

Respect the places we are! This means no bringing in your own food and drink (especially if you've not bought anything from the place) and treating it like your own place. Don't walk on furniture, spit chewing gum on the floor or anything that will get us kicked out. It will just get you unwelcome to the next meets.

BRING ID! Even if you are not planning to drink... if you look like you are under 25 (or ARE under 25) please PLEASE bring suitable ID. We've been barred entry from pubs before when even one of us doesn't have it. Also, (and this should go without saying) If there is someone under 18 there... don't buy them alcohol. That would just be plain stupid!

Have a good time. This one is mandatory! ;P

Additional rules for those fursuiting (Foski)

Don't be ashamed to ruin 'the magic'. As suiters, we get alot of pressure not to reveal our human heads in public. Ideally you should know your limits but, if at any point, when in suit, you feel nautious, dizzy or close to fainting or is having difficulty breathing, just take off the head or notify someone that you'll be taking your head off, does not neccessarily need to be a secluded area, take a moment to cool down before commencing, someone will be on stand by to supply everyone with fresh, cool water throughout the event. You know, the kids have to grow up some time.. all the kids, apart from us!

Fill your tummy with food! It would not be recommended to go out, in suit, on an empty stomach, make sure you have had plenty of food and drink before commencing on the fursuit walk and I guarentee you'll feel better for it!

Few points on Health and Safety

Do NOT be afraid to take off your head. Just can't stress this one enough, your health is more important than some kid's ruined childhood memories. We do encourage people take off their heads for a few minutes just to cool down a bit after about an hour or suiting, though it is up to you to decide if and when you reach your limit.

First Aid and Hydration. Just like last time, I'll be bringing a first aid kit and hydration pack with me to serve everyone in suit with the much-needed water without the need to take off your head. Yes, it has a HUGE (as in long) straw you can suck on to get a drink, and it's perfectly okay to do that in public. I am also an Emergency first-aider, so if there's anything that might be important in case anything happens, allergies or other medical things, let me know and I'll make a note. I'll always be present during the event.

Getting in contact on the day

We all know how it feels to go to places you've never been before but if you're ever lost, your train is delayed or you need our assistance finding us at any time please feel free to message me on the forums (we'll make sure to check every now and again), send me a text at 0 7 - 5 4 9 4 8 6 9 0 7 or message me on Telegram @diamonddragon. You should quite easily be able to recognise me, I'm 6'2", and I will be carrying a large blue backpack with a large hose coming out the top and down the front.

For more information go to UKFur Forums: (Reg required)

https://forum.ukfur.org/topic/51337-edinburgh-december-fursuiting-meet-16th-december-2017/

#Edinburgh #Furry #Fursuit #EdinFurs

[jrlmcc]

////

I’ve been away from tumblr for a while now just focusing on life and I figured this would be a good time to write on here since I haven’t in a while. So here it goes: 

Im currently sitting on my bed quietly listening to Endless and procrastinating on the shit ton of homework I have for this week (fuck trimesters #finalsweekalready). Theres a lot that has happened or has gone through my mind the past couple of months that I originally wanted to just talk about but then I realized everything I wanted to speak on had one thing in common: change. the past two years especially. 

I don’t go out as often as I used to. I take my time more seriously now. I’ve started smoking more, I’ve started listening to different music. I’ve started feeling differently towards things. I’ve been doing more and thinking less. My energy is constantly shifting and being divided. Everything is just different.

Just thinking about it now, this has probably been the first time in a while ive actually gotten to sit down and just really reflect on everything. School has probably been my biggest concern especially it being my last year in college. Im right now balancing being a full-time student and interning since the summer for that “experience” for when I start applying for my first official post college job. A lot of the pressure from the past several years from my family to finish school really struck last year after all the partying and fucking up my sophomore year and it put a new fire in me that I never thought I had. On top of that i’ve had  scares along the way like my family’s constant financial battles and my mom going through cancer so its like do I really have any room to slip up? To be quite honest i’ve just been really busy/tired/stressed. Thats probably why i’ve started  smoking more lol but as much downs as there have been, theres been its ups  too as its all made me more aware of myself- what I could do and what matters to me. Moving forward in life is scary but ive never felt more excited- Im 21, about to finish school, a future full of job opportunities, money to do the shit I’ve always wanted to do, more time and energy for myself, etc, how can I not? I realized recently that theres a lot of new things that i’ve gravitated towards and alot of old things i’ve sacrificed these past couple of years in the coming of myself but now the changes are starting to feel way more different and its like im stuck. Theres that saying about how you have to close one door in order to open another and its never felt so relevant. The thing is, I don’t know what I want to let go or what to reach for and its left me in this gray ‘boxed-in’ kinda feel where there are a lot more questions for myself than answers. 

Its been a whole lot of “I don’t know” lately.

#personal

[generalelectricllama]

Fibromyalgia

As I have stated before, I have many illnesses (both physical and mental). Fibromyalgia happens to be one of the more problem causing illnesses that I have. It is most common in the elderly. Or at least those over the age of 40. And there is no true test to give a definite diagnosis, which is why it can be very hard to near impossible for doctors to figure it out.

Fibromyalgia is said to be caused by many things, the most common being sudden traumatic events (such as car wrecks, which is how mine came to light), depression, and it has recently been found to be genetically inherited. There is, as of today, no known cure for this illness, just basically a bunch of medications to combat the symptoms of the illness and more medications to combat the side effects of the previous medications.

Fibromyalgia is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal (muscle and bone) pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory, and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals.

Symptoms sometimes begin after a physical trauma (think car wreck or surgery), infection, or psychological stress. In other cases, symptoms gradually accumulate over time with no single triggering event.

Basically, in simplified terms, fibromyalgia causes the nerves in your body that register pain to constantly or near constantly be firing, telling your brain that you are in pain or that something is hurting you. It generally causes all over pain, but can sometimes be in a specific area.

Fibromyalgia causes your brain to be constantly working, as it is constantly receiving pain signals from your pain receptors. One of the bigger symptoms or side effects of fibromyalgia is something those who suffer from it call “brain fog”. Your mind feels kind of foggy and you have trouble remembering recent events or even current conversations. It is your brain shutting down your short term memory because it is overworked.

Some of the worst symptoms of fibromyalgia I have are the fatigue, extreme sensitivity to cold or heat, and sensitive skin. Seriously. Sometimes it hurts just to wear clothing. 

I have had this illness since I was near 16, and I am now 22. It wasn’t until I was 20 that I finally got a diagnosis, after two very bad car wrecks and severe depression. Many doctors will not even try to perform the simple pressure point test that they can do on you to determine whether you may have it or not, as fibromyalgia and its symptoms are very hard to care for and require very much upkeep on medications and such.

Fibromyalgia can differ in severity from day to day and ever hour to hour. Some days I can get up and walk around the house and maybe cook me a small meal. Others I have to ask my grandfather to pull me out of my bed and walk with me holding me up for a bit. And then there are days where the only time I am able to get out of bed because of the pain is just to use the toilet and head straight back, usually with help from my grandfather walking to and from. The weather also effects the illness in many ways. If it is going to be cold or stormy outside, the pain will be worse and my joints will be stiff and hard to move around and may even throb or shoot stabbing pains through my body.

I have had to make many sacrifices in my life such as parking closer to the grocery store if I am going to be there for more than 10 minutes, giving up taking baths completely (I am too physically weak to get myself in and out of bathtubs, even with a bar attached to the wall to help me pull myself up), showering on a daily basis (showering on my worst days can have me bedridden for two-three days after), and going out often. Often times when I am out and about, I will do too much walking and it will cause a flare up and put me in the bed. 

It is a struggle every day to just remember the basic things like taking my medications and eating. The pain, weakness in my body, and foggy feeling in my mind causes me to forget alot of things and to have to cancel very often on my friends and family if we have events scheduled. It is beyond unpredictable.

I want to educate those of you that do not have illnesses or that have no one around you who knows what fibromyalgia is or what it can do to a person and their life. Fibromyalgia may be classified as invisible, but it is very visible if you know where to look. This illness, your pain, is very real. It is very valid. You are allowed to rest without feeling bad. Your health comes before the wants of others. I ask you, as a fellow person with fibromyalgia, to not feel bad for taking care of yourself.

Go out there if you can, and educate people. Every day new things are being discovered on fibromyalgia and its causes and symptoms. 

And remember, you are not alone. There are many of us warriors out there. Your illness(es) and pain are valid. It is not imaginary.

(If anyone has anything to add to this or to clarify, please do not hesitate to reblog it with the addition or clarification. I ask that you state it respectfully. I am out here to try and educate people on some of the many invisible illnesses that exist and to share the point of view of someone who has said illnesses. I am not trying to hate on or be specific to one specific illness. There will be more posts on other illnesses.)

#fibromyalgia #invisible illness #invisible illnesses #invisible illness warriors #fibro warriors #fibro #warriors #facts #my point of view #spoonie #spoons #brain fog #pain #chronic pain #chronically ill #chronic illness #chronic illnesses #you are not alone #unpredictable