#i felt fucking feral for that one

[wander-wren]

so, this is nice to see. like. sometimes it just feels like i’m not accomplishing anything, right

my ao3 wordcount for 2022, as of today:

that doesn’t include at least 120k of original stuff, if somewhat sleep-deprived memory serves. that doesn’t count the 20k oneshot rotting while i put off finishing the last scene, or the 60k fic that’s just getting started. it doesn’t include ideas i started and pushed aside halfway through.

i hate to risk sounding like i’m bragging but damn. it’s not a lot. it’s not anything, to most people, especially being that it’s free labor.

but that’s half a million words there, easy, and i know all of them are good. i have faith in my competence.

whatever else comes out of this year, i did that much. and i know wren from last november wouldn’t have dreamed of a 500k year, let alone a 500k year i wasn’t even trying to pull. the only person i ever have to impress is my former self, right?

#bird noises #im emo tonight about it #fanfiction #objectively my writing journey is kind of bonkers insane from 2019-now #tried nano for the first time in 2019. super intimidated and stressed. hit 48k #skipped april camp #did 30k for july camp (swiftpaw’s chance baby!) #fuckin. stumbled into the overachievers forum in october #told myself i would set three tiered goals of 50k/75k/100k #but i knew day 1 i was lying to myself #hit 100k nano 2020 #accidentally prepped so hard for april camp i wrote 60k in march and collapsed #i donttttt remember july i think i skipped it #came back nano 2021. 125k. started a week early too #130k novel in five weeks and some other work i did in the last couple days of nov #i felt fucking feral for that one #i never properly counted last april but it was somewhere high. 80k? #again #dont remember july’s final number but i do think it came out similar to april #i stopped tracking my words this year sooo #and i donttttt think i got to 100k this month but i just started college i gotta cut myself slack #DEFINITELY over 50k but ill do a final count in the morning #we’ll see

[polycrews]

ddcds. for u (hopefully ur day will b a bit better!)

had to take a second to respond to this because dear GOD this made me lose coherent thoughts. ahem

#asks #ddcd #i. i want to start up a good feral tag ramble but the only thing i can think of is to break down wailing /pos #my friend. beloved acquaintance of mine. you canNOT keep doing this one day you will fuckinf kill me of heart attack on the spot #i keep stepping away from this every couple minutes i haven’t felt this much emotions in eons. please have the courtesy to picture- #-my tone as that of soft awe. i am barely forming comprehensible sentences out here dear god #i’d also like to mention that i am in love with how you draw carapace. it all flows very smoothly and feels correct in an indescribable- #fuck the tumblr tag limit #-sort of manner. #your expressions are immaculate and manage to perfectly encapsulate these two #just. everything in general makes me even more fascinated with. well. [gestures abstractly] #please be ever so kind as to excuse me while i yell into a pillow for half an hour. i will be delivering you all of my money- #-as compensation for this on the morrow. thank you #fave

[dirtytransmasc]

^^ screenshot. blends in on mobile/dark mode ^^

that wasn't why she was mad though, well it was and wasn't. it wasn't that she had sex necessarily, but more the weight and nuance of it all, of Rhaenyra being the princess, who Alicent had been trying her best to serve the best interest of and protect in terms of betrothals and Viserys, having sex in a very public place. she was clearly upset and holding back tears when she confronts Rhaenyra that first time, but she isn't especially angry. she's angry when Rhaenyra lied to her face on her dead mother's name, going so far as to act upset and offended Alicent could ever insinuate anything about her, played the victim, had sex with two separate people in one night and said she was still a maiden (from Alicent's perspective she couldn't have known Rhaenyra only tried to have sex with Daemon and was unsuccessful, she could only believe that she had sex with both Daemon and Criston), and then used her power to have her father (the only person Alicent had) banished from kings landing, all the while she had put her ass on the line for her in front of Viserys, who never believed Rhaenyra to begin with. it wasn't simply the fact that Rhaenyra had sex, she's mad because Rhaenyra used her, hurt her, did harm to her name and the work both she and Viserys had put towards giving her a choice no royal girl, especially a princess, could ever imagine, and she spit in their faces.

there's also the fact that Cole admitted IMMEDIATELY what had transpired, asked not for forgiveness but for death, and admitted that it was dubcon. it's a very different situation. she also sympathized with the fact he felt great remorse for both the act of sleeping with the princess but also his breakdown that lead to the murder of Joffery. all we see is her stopping him and then a near decade has passed and they are close friends, we know nothing of how this friendship evolved, when she fully forgave him for his acts, what it took for him to earn her trust and forgiveness.

not saying either of them are saintly and perfectly correct in that situation, but you boil it down to the point that the situation is unrecognizable. you ignored all of the nuance on both sides. Alicent was never mad about the sex, upset yes, mad no, she was mad at how Rhaenyra could hurt her so horribly (amongst many other things. I don't think she, someone who shared her grief with Rhaenyra over their dead mother's, could ever get over how Rhaenyra lied on her name. me personally? I'd be sick to my stomach every time I looked at her for the rest of my days). Cole was coerced into sex, which he was honest and seeked death for repentance, had a breakdown and murdered someone (I won't defend this, you can't, he did murder an innocent person, that is a fact) but felt so guilty he tried to kill himself and seemingly spent the last 10ish years making up for it (where as I can name multiple people Rhaenyra outright in level head and mind maimed/murdered/otherwise allowed or dismissed the deaths/injury of, for her own goals and didn't give a second thought to so.... girly walks atop barely cooled corpse's time and time again).

#again #Alicent and Cole are not angels #as much as I love them I could never say that #I will say their situation is very different from Rhaenyra's #especially in how they handled it going forward #one side felt great remorse the other... not so much #one side had many justifications for their anger (even if it doesnt excuse all of their behavior) the other dug most of her own grave and #then did harm to others around her to cover it up (some blame can go to Daemon and Viserys. I can and will say that) #stop boiling down the situation to make Rhaenyra a saint and alicent the devil its tiring #alicent hightower #criston cole #rhaenyra targaryen #pro team green #anti team black #anti rhaenyra targaryen #anti team black fans #not gonna comment on the choice words they used for alicent. I don't think I can be that kind nor patient today #pro alicent hightower #my girl wasnt wrong for being angry #I would have been fucking feral #hotd #house of the dragon

[milogreer]

i’m only halfway through this milo ea but

#i . have not felt this feral over a milo audio in a GRIP. GOD I MISSED HIM #i’ll make a real post when i’m done i’m just screaming into the twitter void rn #fuck me. this is meeting every one of my standards #sweetheart.txt #redacted audio

[backpackingspace]

thinking about how for like the first two years of obi wans apprenticeship qui gon did not give a fuck what obi wan did (or even really what happened to him) before snapping out of it and realizing he was actually very much responsible for this child and course corrected into being a helicopter parent and how obi wan always read this as mistrust instead of concern and guilt.

#Star wars #qui gon jinn #obi wan kenobi #The disaster linages complicated relationship #Neglect #Trauma #Like qui gon was deeply traumatized individual #And I think he just could not deal with being responsible for another child #Like I'm pretty sure obi wan would do something and qui gon would be having literal flashbacks of xantos #Which is not an excuse for obi wan being left to fend for himself but #And that lackluster care ran deep man like obi wan regularly ended up on a completely different planet during those early missions #But to that 13 year old baby wan it felt like trust #So when qui gon started suddenly giving a shit and putting rules in place it felt like mistrust #It's a pretty common reaction to see in kids when their parents who hadn't been parenting get it together #Qui gon having so much guilt being a helicopter tired dad #Wrestling his feral padawan into one of those kid leashes #Qui gon: through gritted teeth: its the will of the force Padawan stay fucking still I mean it I swear to all the gods #Obi wan: 15 and feral and war veteran twice over embressed to the point of finding this humiliating: #Master hates me? Mater distrusts me?? He thinks I need to be held on to like I'm fucking 7 years old when will I ever be good enough for hi

[lonesome-dreamsss]

i'm SO UPSET that tony never got to see steve's angst beard!!!!!! like let's be so real, steve was in shambles bc he missed his bf and said bf didn't even get to see it!!!!! that's a CRIME!!!!!

#this has been a thought in my head since 2017 #like i just..... #tony never got to really know how bad it impacted steve too #and yes i LOVE the thought of tony simping bc let's be real steve's angst beard was hot as fuck #but like!!!!!! he probably spent that whole time thinking he never truly mattered to steve when that's NOT TRUE #tony he needed you too!!!!!! #it wasn't one-sided!!!!!! #and yes steve did write that letter and give him that phone but it didn't really show just how BAD steve was fucked up too #it only showed a fraction of the guilt steve really felt #like god they really couldn't function without each other and it makes me go FERAL #IM in shambles thinking about them #i gotta write a fanfic..... #steve rogers #tony stark #stevetony #stony #the avengers

[craycraybluejay]

i miss them.. they made me feel so excited and hurt and scared and things.. i fucking hate them its been years and i miss this stupid motherfucker suddenly again

#all the degrading and control god take me back #the cruel indifference #do all dreams have to end? #i dont know if ill ever feel so indulged again #so allowed to be feral. animal. nothing but instinct and sensation #it was complete chaos and it was 'morally corrupt' but by god it kept me so happy and satisfied #i dont think ive felt anything but fleeting (minutes) joy since it was over i didnt have that crutch anymore #i was right. it left me untethered. #untethered much like a balloon i will float float float away #and im still angry still impulsive and pain seeking and hungry #whenever i felt i was going to explode out of my skin i had an outlet #without one i get physically sick with it with all the energy and feeling and impulse #its like my whole body is wrapped in live wire #worse was that i trusted them and it wasnt just a clean cut and dry its over #it was ugly and fucking awful and completely caught me off guard #i still have the memories saved i could go and look #i shouldnt. not tonight. not this impulse #i will become so much angrier it isnt worth the pleasure

[clarenecessities]

i really am fucking poisoned. i was looking at the etymology of izutsumi's name and i checked her codename first, right, Asebi, aka the Japanese pieris/andromeda and like all I can think is damn that was Justine Dantzer's working name for the character who would one day be She-Ra. that's crazy

#and then i found a surname pronounced like izutsumi (well. listed as イヅツミ but idk enough to understand why it wouldn't be itsutsumi) #and it's 井堤 right? so i did what i always do when i'm on my weeb shit and looked 'em up individually #井 is 'well' #堤 is 'dyke'. #as in an embankment. but can you fucking imagine the fuckor i felt in that moment. already thinking about she-ra. #ah christ there's even that one 'son of he-man' continuity where adora's offspring was a feral child. this shit haunts me #important clarification i know the difference between ヅ and ツ but i. oh. wait it's just rendaku isn't it. okay word nvm #dungeon meshi #she ra #it's been long enough this won't clutter anyone's shit up right

[legendary-assassin-stance]

oh i'm sorry, i didn't realize we were taking moral standing points from the asura now. y'know. the race that full-hog experimented and ripped apart sylvari even after knowing they were wholly sapient beings (and it wasn't even inquest! it was regular fucking asura! the arcane council most definitely okayed those experiments! never mind the fact that the council TO THIS DAY fucking openly allows inquest to do as they please so long as they don't cause trouble in rata sum) and have done little to nothing to apologize for that fact to their sylvari allies.

but no, you're right, the humans are the worst race in tyria just by way of existing and trying to find a place for themselves. how could i have ever thought different?

#from beyond the grave #hi i'm going to go fucking feral #I'M NOT EVEN A HUGE HUMAN FAN. i have them and i love the ones i do have! but i greatly prefer sylvari as my playable race. #what the FUCK are you talking about #“did everything they can to push other people off their land” are you talking about pushing charr out???? cus uh. #i don't know how to tell you this but the charr STOLE THAT LAND IN THE FIRST PLACE EVEN BEFORE HUMANS #dont even get me started on their HoT take (the One Expansion that anet gave sylvari before forgetting they exist) #and the icebrood one (the charr should have never been the fucking main focus of the goddamn NORN PLOT ANYWAYS) #the “human interference” in icebrood was literally a fucking BLIP amongst the bullshit of the charr getting involved #don't even fucking talk to me about “humans being lynchpins” for icebrood. it should have had NOTHING but NORN LORE. #it was the NORN PLOT. jormag had always been NORN STORY AND PLOT. #“buhbuhbuh humans” I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. THE CHARR SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THERE EITHER #it's extremely telling that you don't care that the charr shouldn't have been there either #and only focused on the .0000000000003 seconds that kas helped in anything related to the plot #while also framing crecia and rytlock's relationship problems throughout as “human-looking” squabbling #god forbid rytlock get some character development where he WANTS TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for his kid #(even tho it should've happened in a charr-centric story thread and NOT THE FUCKING NORN ONE ANET) #and every charr in the world is like “but why do you care??” because charr society is so incredibly FUCKED re: their kids #“being attentive to the story” my fucking ass. just say you fucking hate humans as a race and move the fuck on. #i didn't mean to rant this much in the tags but the more i stared at the post the more i felt like biting someone #OH. OH SORRY. i just noticed that #the person was like “lol inquest figured out how to harness elder dragon energy before xunlai <3” #JUHGTFJHKDFJHGLKFD ?????? #okay for one the inquest are a bunch of literal rat bastards who caused a NUCLEAR REACTOR EXPLOSION in metrica #i'm not going to trust a fucking inquest ANYWHERE NEAR ME let alone praise them for “ethical” dragon energy #the “uhm ACKSUALLY S W E A T Y” tone of voice re: canthan tech vs. asuran is asinine and also annoying as fuck #“all of PoF was about humans :(” IT IS LITERALLY. ABOUT A HUMAN GOD? IT IS *THE* HUMAN XPAC. #IT WAS NOT A SURPRISE FOR IT TO BE HUMAN THEMED? WE KNOW ELONA IS H U M A N S ? #yet again. what the FUCK are you even talking about. #OKAY. jesus christ. i think i'm finally done bitching about this.

[squarebracket-trickster]

Drug of choice?

Michael Ball singing "Empty Chairs ar Empty Tables" at the 10th Anniversary Perfomance of Les Miserables.

#fuck I forgot what it felt like to Feel Something again #the adhd stimming was strong with this one #every. goddamn. note. #ahsgkhdjdks I am FERAL

[erythristicbones]

wiggling like crazy bc it hit me that im going to a waterparks concert today hehehe

#like i knew the concert was today and knew who was playing #but i have no object permanence and it felt so far away still #so now that its on the front of my mind i am buzzing with excitement #legit forgot how fucking feral i go for concerts bc i havent had the money/time to go to one in like ~7yrs #then i went to the mother mother one and it hit me like a fucking truck ya know? #there's nothing in this world that feels quite like a concert to me #i just!!! aaaaagh #the feeling of being packed in a crowd and youre all singing to the same songs and you can feel the kick of every drum beat in your chest #i blame my dad for taking me to my first major rock concert at like 7 or 8 #it was over for me from then on. music runs my entire life man

[gensnix]

Hey zelda fandom 

do any of you have headcanons that only you seem to have? I’d love to here them 

One of my favorite headcanons that i have is that Skull kid was born a gerudo male along side Ganondorf unfortunately for Skull kid the gerudo chose Ganondork instead of him since they were afraid of the strange anomaly that was 2 gerudo men being born at the same time and thought it would bring tragedy to them 

#how'd I come up with this headcanon you ask? #Simple really! #1 our favorite skull kid has always felt that he was different and wants to look different #so Link gives him a *skull* mask and he loves it #Who else has a skull mask Phantom Ganon #2 the amount of power he gains when putting on Majora #you see majora has been worn before but she's never caused this much trouble before So I think she can use the powers of those she posesses #Gerudo men seem to be known for their magic and strong power #3 cause i think it's fun #Like I've seen some headcanons that Skull kid was supposed to be the hero of time but died in Lost woods so it went to Link #Know just think if we combined those two headcanons #Also this idea: Gerudo men only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting #*picture of the moon* #I want to talk about zelda cause totk is making me feral #in a both good and bad way #I hate it's plot but i love zelda and I keep thinking of my own au-ish to make me feel better #zelda #the legend of zelda #oot #ocarina of time #tp #twilight princess #Skyward Sword #windwaker #four swords #majora's mask #botw #breath of the wild #totk #tears of the kingdom

[profoundcastiel]

me after watching a scene where fox decided to use a wildly know bi anthem song as background for a buck scene

#911 on fox #I'm sorry guys I'm still freaking out over this #it feels like I'm the only one so maybe this is me finally losing it #but that's like THEE anthem THAT'S the one #it's also my bi anthem which maybe is why I'm going this feral over a comedy scene BUT #I'm seeing the bi buck arc where he starts saying yes to possibilities and that's why he said yes to sperm donor #but in reality it's more about saying yes to things he wants to do but never felt like he could #like just like the song he want people to stop choosing for him he wants to do what he WANTS not what he feels like he needs to do #HE JUST WANTS TO RIDE HIS BIKE LEAVE HIM ALONE #FUCK I'm getting way to invested over this #also it wasn't even like 2 seconds. they used like ALL THE SONG #and I get it it was a comedy scene BUT WHATEVER #911 spoilers

[aroacesigma]

never in my life have i felt the amount of rage that i just felt oh my god

#ramblings #just saw a meme comparing main timeline l0ki and tv@ l0ki and the comments were all saying shit like #'one grew a personality and the other got his neck snapped' #FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU A THOUSAND CURSES ON YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR BLOODLINE #IN WHAT UNIVERSE DID MAIN TIMELINE L0KI HAVE NO PERSONALITY #IN WHAT FUCKING UNIVERSE #how does a character become that insanely popular without having a personality . you fucking tell me #you FUCKING tell me #oh my godddd im actulaly gonna #going completely nuts and feral i have not felt this much anger since that fuckass show got released the first time #you guys simply do not understand #god . #why

[devilfruitdyke]

turning nimona off sorry animators 👍

#THE MC IS ANNOYING OUGH #do you ever try to mind yr business around someone who wont stop emphasizing how Chaotic and Violent and Feral they are #yeah. #you dont have it worse than me tho i dated a band kid one time 😇 #i remember posting about this in september but. exchange was like #'you couldnt come on a band trip with us youd be stopping us from getting arrested 😂' #quote from someone i stole and fought for. in m‌inecraft. #thats what this movie is for an hour and 48 mins #i didnt even think you could mangle the violent character type. gestures to s‌usie vi and m‌ondo icons ive had for months each #i didnt even think you could fuck up red undercut urban fantasy girlie #< also v‌i and the girl from young souls. 👍 #i dont even think its objectively bad but to me it felt like babysitting

[literarycinematics]

there is something in my brain that refuses to accept that my new computer has better audio quality than my old one. what do you mean you're supposed to hear things clearly. no, his voice isn't this crisp, it's supposed to be difficult to hear but the laptop is corrupting it. i shouldn't be able to understand anything unless my headphones are at full volume you liar. this laptop is worse actually, and the shitty one is how things are supposed to be.

#i have such an emotional attachment to my old laptop actually #i keep trying to find reasons why the new one is worse when it obviously isn't just because I don't want to say goodbye to the old one #my family's had my previous one for over a decade and replacing it feels personal #even though it was fucked up as could be and barely operational #receiving it as a shitty hand-me-down felt like i was taming an feral beast‚ taking it in from the cold and befriending it #i tended to its injuries‚ earned its trust‚ and bonded with it through years of hard work‚ becoming the one person it would always work wit #i feel now that i am releasing it back into the wild #i will cherish the time we had together‚ and it will live out the rest of its time in the wilderness that is my basement #ari articulates