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dreamescapeswriting · 4 years

Text

[21:48] ~ Changbin [M]

Word Count: 2.8K

A/N: @taestannie is a genius! Pointed something out to me and it just had to become a waiter AU for binnie boy 🥺💜

Genre: Smut, waiter/waitress AU, friends to lovers

Friday night shifts were the worst possible shifts to be placed on and everybody knew that which is why everyone except for you, Changbin and a couple of others were the only ones waiting tables that night. The restaurant was overcrowded by people as it always was on a Friday night and you were already wanting to pull your hair out of your scalp and you'd only been on shift for ten minutes.

"Drinking game tonight?" Changbin asked as he watched you walking over to him at the bar, you nodded in agreement showing him the back of your notepad, you'd already started taking notes on the number of times you'd been told to smile. You and Changbin had been working there for the last year and you'd come up with a drinking game to do every Friday you locked up at night - you were the managers which meant you were in charge of locking up each night.

"Just you and me tonight though, everyone's leaving early. Felix has a date," You rolled your eyes when didn't Felix have a date? Changbin watched as you bent down in front of him to pick up one of the serving trays from his bar. You were wearing the usual black tight-fitted low cut top that the sleazy restaurant owner ordered that every girl wore on shift along with the tight pencil skirt that drove Changbin wild for you. Everything you ever did drove Changbin wild for you, he could never fully concentrate when you were on a shift together.

"You okay there Changbin?" You giggled coming back up from the ground and making eye contact with him, he nodded his head and began making drinks from his notepad when you joined him on the other side of the bar.

"Do you know what table 45 said to his wife just now?" You whispered nodding your head over to the window seat where a couple were sitting together, he shook his head and you started laughing softly at what you’d heard them talking about.

"They're taking their pick of the guys tonight and you caught her eye." He groaned at the thought of it, it wasn’t how he wanted to spend his night tonight. Everyone knew that couple, they came in every Friday to flirt with the waiters and waitresses, giving them huge tips and making sure they never shared them with anyone else. Always touching and flirting with people whenever they got the chance, you were sure they were trying to make a threeway happen.

"Can't say I blame them, hot stuff." You joked winking at him before walking away with your tray of porn star cocktails, Changbin watched as you swung your hips from side to side a little extra than usual. You and Changbin would flirt...a lot...There was no secret that there was the sexual tension between you both but nothing ever happened as much as both of you wanted it to.

"Cat got your tongue?" Chan - one of the other waiters - questioned when he watched Changbin watching you, he stuttered over his words spilling beer onto the tray he was holding.

"W-What?! No, her?! We're just friends," Chan snorted at the younger waiter in front of him and shook his head,

"Sure thing, and I’m a rapper" He said sarcastically as he walked away from Changbin while he went onto cleaning up the drinks he'd split all over the place.

Towards the end of the night, it was starting to get so busy you and the other waiters were climbing over one another to get through the place. The place always got like this towards the end of the night, people would come here before they went on a night on the town since the drinks were cheaper and you could find friends there easier than in the packed out clubs.

"Can I start you off with some drinks tonight?" You questioned looking down at a group of girls who all looked disappointed that they didn't have a male server with them but instead they had you to deal with.

"Excuse me Y/n," You looked over your shoulder as you heard Changbin say your name. God, you'd give anything to hear him moan it just once, after a couple of seconds you realised you couldn't move thanks to the place being so packed full. He placed his hands on either side of your hips and pressed himself against you as he got by the table. You could feel every inch of him and it sent a pool to your core just thinking about him,

"Y-yeah, drinks?" You stuttered out trying to distract yourself from the need of wanting Changbin to take you into the back and fuck you until your voice ran out.

Changbin stood at the bar mixing drinks and you looked at your pad, you had a bunch of cocktails you weren't skilled enough to make and you knew he was. You walked over with a giant smile on your face and leant forward on the bar. Changbin tried to keep his eyes on you but it was hard when you were practically hanging out of your top for all to see, it only sent more blood rushing to his cock. He was concentrating so hard on not staring at your breasts all he'd heard you say is,

"Sex on the beach and make me scream?" His eyes snapped to yours in horror and you frowned at him,

"You're the only one decent enough at making them don't make me beg Binnie." You whined out running your fingers up and down his bicep as you gave him your best puppy dog eyes you could conjure up. Flirting with him was the best way to get your own way right now and you knew that too well,

"Yeah, s-sure. What table?" He stuttered out finally realising that you meant the cocktails and you weren't asking him to fuck you on the beach and make you scream.

"Table 12, be careful Binnie. I think they bite." You whispered in his ear moving away to go on the five-minute break that you had. You just needed to be away from him for five minutes, any longer around him and you'd be dying for him to bend you over the bar.

"Here you go ladies," Changbin said as he unloaded the drinks onto their table, they all smiled at him and began flirting heavily but its something he was used to after working her. He watched as you came out from the back of the kitchens adjusting your top and he bit his lip watching you closely.

"Can I get you anything else?" He asked going back to his job and trying to ignore the raging hard-on he was getting under his apron, he thanked the lord that he had one otherwise everyone would know what was going on in his mind right now. You had no idea what you did to him with the simplest of things, you could say a word to him and have him hard for you. One-touch, one whisper, anything and he would be yours for you to take.

"Thanks, Binnie, I owe you." You said as he came back to the bar you were standing behind, he went to walk behind you when you back up into him thanks to another waitress walking in front.

"Shit sorry," You whispered as you felt him against your ass, he was hard and it turned you on even more than you already were for him. You ignored the feeling and cleared your throat,

"Last hour! Let's go!" You yelled clapping your hands together trying to get everyone on the move and into their places for final drink orders.

The shutters were pulled down and locked, you and Changbin were alone in the whole restaurant trying to close up everything. You’d finished counting out the tips before everyone left for their own nights and now you were counting up the register while Changbin stood behind his bar.

"The perks of being bar manager and manger," You looked up from the books in front of you and over to him while he spoke, he pulled out a bottle of tequila for you both and two small shot glasses smirking darkly as he knew you always had to take more shots than he did.

"We can drink our sorrows away," He was overdramatizing everything while you counted up and cashed the money into the safe. Once it was done you walked over to the bar he was standing behind and took out your notepad.

"You're going to be hammered," He whistled looking at all of the notes you had by everything you had to take a shot for,

"Five for being told to smile, 6 for asking for my number, 10 for the sly ''accidental'' ass grab, 9 for the number of times a man has told me that my skirt fits me perfectly." You slammed the notepad down and waited for him to show you his pad but he didn’t,

"Not showing," He put it into his top pocket and you scoffed,

"Erm, yes you are those are the rules. Give it to me." He shook his head at you tapping his pocket with the book inside and you blinked at him,

"Come and get it," You stared at him from across the bar, he knew you would and you knew you would climb across that bar and get it from his hands if you had to.

"Fine," He threw it down in front of you not wanting to risk you hurting yourself if you climbed over the bar and you sighed reading from his page. You didn’t see why he was hiding it, it was nothing,

"Five shots? Five shots?!" You sounded offended and you were, here you were with 30 shots.��

"You're taking some of mine, I can't handle 30 on my own." You told him as he started making up the shots in front of you.

Five minutes later you were 15 shots in and starting to get a little giddy from the alcohol, you’d never been one to handle your drinks and neither had Changbin so they’d gone straight to your heads.

"I have an idea, I saw it on a movie once and it looked like fun." Changbin watched as you pulled him over to one of the tables and laid down on top of it.

"W-What are you doing?!" Blood rushed to his cock again as he watched you start to unbutton your shirt and reveal your black bra to him, it made his mouth run dry as he thought about you laying there like that for him,

"Relax Binnie," You placed a lime into your mouth, salt on your chest and poured some of the shot onto your stomach waiting for him to catch onto what you wanted him to do.

"Body shots? Really?" You nodded and he smirked at you, both of you too tipsy to care anymore and far too pent up to even care that you were just two flirty friends.

"You asked for it Princess," The nickname sent a pool to your panties and your legs clamped together trying to ignore the pressing feeling of wanting him inside of you. He sucked the tequila from your belly button and then slowly licked the salt from your chest, coming up to your mouth and smirking as you proudly held the lime there for him. He licked his bottom lip before taking the lime out of your mouth with his lips before throwing it somewhere across the room. He grabbed your face and began to make out with you heavily on the table, your hands went into his hair bringing his face closer to yours. Tugging on the strands of his hair and he let out a low grunt of your name, that was all it took. You needed him.

"Want you." You whispered to him and he swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat nodding and looking at you as you shifted to the edge of the table spreading your legs open for him, it wasn't the most hygienic of places for this to happen but neither of you cared right now. You needed one another and you weren't going to waste time calling a taxi to take you home. Your shaky hands undid his belt and dropped his pants to the floor and he began kissing you again, he laid your back flat against the table gently,

"C-Changbin," You whispered looking into his eyes as he pulled away from the kiss, his breathing was laboured and he looked at you as he slowly slipped two fingers into your heat, he didn't even give you a second to get used to it as he began to finger you. Your back arched off the table and you moaned out his name clenching around his fingers. He groaned watching you with lust in his eyes as you clenched around his fingers he just kept imagining what you would feel like around him, crying out his name whenever he'd hit that sweet spot of yours.

"Good?" He chuckled adding another finger into your heat, your hands gripped onto the edges of the table as your toes curled as you felt him hitting your g-spot,

"R-Really good Binnie!" You whimpered feeling overwhelmed with him finally taking you, it was everything you'd wanted and everything he’d always wanted/

"I want you though Binnie, all of you," You whispered seductively, he slipped his fingers out of you and began pumping himself in his hand to slick himself in your arousal as he watched you rub your clit for him.

“Need you Binnie,” You moaned out making eye contact with him as he pumped himself faster at the thought of being inside of you, the amount of times he’d done this in his apartment. Thinking about you while jerking himself off was unimaginable.

"S-Shit, you're so fucking beautiful." He grunted lining himself up at your entrance, he looked at you asking for approval and you nodded as he slowly sank into you.

"A-ah fuck," He grunted as your nails dug into his biceps, he sank all the way into you and held himself still as he felt your pussy clenching around him needly sucking him into you.

"You're so tight," His comment made you whimper and he chuckled seeing you like this, you'd done nothing but tease and flirt all evening but now you were beneath him begging for him to move. The sounds you were making drove him wild and he slowly began thrusting into you, pulling you further off the edge of the table to angle himself deeper.

He hooked one of your legs over your shoulder and held you in place on the table thrusting roughly into you.

"Shit! Changbin!" You cried out hands desperate to hold back onto him to steady yourself from falling off the table. He kissed you passionately as he continued to fuck into you with small yet powerful thrusts.

You knew you weren't going to last long, you'd dreamt of this moment happening for months and here it was.

"I'm close Changbin," You moaned out to him and it only made him more animalistic, his hips began snapping in and out of you at an unspeakable pace that had your head spinning. You cried out his name as he took his thumb and began rubbing your sensitive clit, he wanted to feel you cum around him.

"S-Shit!" You screamed feeling your high hitting you and pushing through you intensely, your legs shook as you came around him and he continued fucking into you.

"I-I'm cumming!" You whimpered hips bucking so hard that the table was starting to shake and wobble beneath you both. Changbin grunted thrusting into you one last time and burying himself deep inside as he came into you filling you up as he moaned out your name.

You stay there for a couple of minutes with him still inside of you trying to catch your breath and come down from the highs.

"Whoa," You whispered once you were both cleaned up and the table was cleaned.

"That's all you have to say?" He chuckled coming over to you, your ass was pressed against the table as he wrapped his arm around you.

"What do you want me to say? 'Thank God It's Friday?'" You stared at him and he shook his head at you softly placing a kiss on both cheeks before leaving one on your lips.

"No, I want you to say that you'll come home with me tonight." You nodded at him,

"Then I'll go home with you tonight." You whispered to him leaning forward and giving him another kiss,

"But first I have to delete the camera footage from the main office." You told him as you pointed up at the CCTV cameras in the restaurant.

A/n: This was written last night so if there’s any mistakes I’m sorry but I love this and I loved the idea when @taestannie came to me with it and I just had to do this

Tagline:

@writingdreamsnottragedies @snowy-meowl @jooniesdarlingdimples

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tabloidtoc · 3 years

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People, January 4, 2021

Cover: HGTV’s Ben and Erin Napier

Page 3: Chatter -- Taylor Swift on teasing information about her life in her music, Carrie Underwood on the holiday gift from her husband Mike Fisher, Viola Davis on her 10-year-old daughter asking for an iPhone and camera for Christmas, Amal Clooney joking about how her writing a book affected her relationship with husband George Clooney, Halle Berry on refusing to go out with a friend’s past romantic partner, Tina Fey advising people not to go kayaking in the New York/New Jersey river

Page 4: 5 Things We’re Talking About This Week -- Prince Harry and Meghan Markle start podcasts, Lily James and Sebastian Stan will play Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, Rick Astley is never gonna give up his snacks, LeAnn Rimes wins The Masked Singer, a Whitney Houston biopic finds its diva

Page 6: Contents

Page 8: StarTracks -- following tradition members of the royal family have released their annual holiday cards and Prince William and Princess Kate’s three kids Prince George and Prince Louis and Princess Charlotte stole the show this year with the family posed on a bale of hay and matched in cozy sweaters for the shot which was taken in the fall at the family’s country home in Norfolk, England

Page 9: For their card Prince Charles and Duchess Camilla picked a colorful shot taken in the lush garden on Birkhall which is the prince’s Scottish home

Page 10: Carter Rubin won season 19 of The Voice marking Gwen Stefani’s first victory as a coach, First Look at Denzel Washington and Rami Malek and Jared Leto in The Little Things

Page 11: Kate Hudson filmed a scene for Truth Be Told, Rachael Leigh Cook reprising her role as Laney Boggs in He’s All That with Addison Rae playing her daughter, Princess Charlotte of Monaco debuted a half-hawk hairstyle at the Monaco Palace’s traditional Christmas tree ceremony, Nick Cannon helped the Hollywood Food Coalition hand out 2000 meal boxes to people in need

Page 12: Stars’ Furry & Feathered Friends -- Yolanda Hadid with some goats and a deer, Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra Jonas cuddled up by their Christmas tree with their dog Diana, Harrison Ford walking a dog in Los Angeles, Salma Hayek and her pet owl Kering

Page 17: Scoop: Why Tom Cruise lost his cool

Page 18: Little People Big World’s Jacob Roloff says he was sexually abused as a child by a former producer who worked on his family’s TLC series

Page 20: Heart Monitor -- Tyler Perry and Gelila Bekele it’s over, Katie Holmes and Emilio Vitolo getting serious, Lana Del Rey and Clayton Johnson engaged, Gillian Anderson and Peter Morgan split

Page 21: Felicity Jones on making a space epic while pregnant

Page 22: Ryan Seacrest counts down to 2021

* Lizzo gets real about her body

Page 25: America Ferrera’s laid-back holiday

* How Sandra Lee is moving on

Page 27: Passages, Why I Care -- Rainn Wilson wants people to know how global warming is affecting the Arctic and the world

Page 28: Stories to make you smile -- a stroll back through history with cats, bringing holiday cheer to U.S. troops stationed abroad

Page 31: People Picks -- Wonder Woman 1984

Page 32: Dickinson, Wolfwalkers

Page 33: Safety, Paul McCartney -- McCartney III, Q&A -- Questlove

Page 34: On Pointe, Greenland

Page 35: Promising Young Woman

Page 37: The year’s best books for kids

Page 38: Cover Story -- HGTV’s Ben and Erin Napier -- family means everything to us -- they never aspired to be famous but now they’re HGTV’s biggest stars; how the Home Town couple stay grounded despite the spotlight

Page 44: 25 Years Later -- Princess Diana’s Panorama Interview Web of Deceit -- forged documents and manipulation and paranoia: inside the stunning new inquiry into Diana’s famous TV sit-down

Page 48: The COVID-19 Vaccines -- what you need to know -- the long-awaited vaccines are finally here; will they return our lives to normal?

Page 50: Richie Sambora -- a rock star’s second act -- the Bon Jovi guitarist opens up about his really unpopular decision to leave the band and how he finally found joy in the love of his daughter Ava

Page 54: Mystery and Heartbreak at a Texas U.S. Army Post -- Death at Fort Hood -- in 2020 dozens of soldiers at the nation’s largest active-duty armored military installation died by homicide, accident, suicide or unknown causes -- officials and grieving families wants answers

Page 60: Isla Fisher -- my funny fairy-tale life -- the Godmothered star talks about movies, motherhood and how laughter keeps her marriage to Sacha Baron Cohen strong

Page 63: Sabrina Bryan -- my baby girl is a warrior -- the former Cheetah Girls star opens up about her daughter’s terrifying battle with meningitis

Page 66: Double Talk -- Kristen Wiig and Gal Gadot -- Wonder Women -- now playing super-rivals in Wonder Woman 1984, the stars chat about parenting during the pandemic and what they love about the 1990s

Page 71: Paul Hogan -- Crocodile Dundee’s Wild Ride -- his hit 1986 movie made him a global sensation and now 81 the rugged Aussie looks back on the stardom he never expected

Page 75: Winter TV Preview -- Elizabeth Olsen on WandaVision

Page 76: Gina Torres on 9-1-1: Lone Star

Page 77: Freddie Prinze Jr. on Punky Brewster

Page 78: Ted Danson on Mr. Mayor

Page 81: Beauty -- Feel-Good Beauty Finds -- start the new year on a high note with these pick-me-ups

Page 87: Second Look -- hosts Julianne Hough and Tituss Burgess on Disney Parks Magical Christmas Celebration

Page 88: One Last Thing -- Jon Hamm

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leakypizza · 3 years

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lets get perrsonal questions or whaveterver

i wanted to make a question tag but feral and this is what i came up with. tag ur friends, tag ur enemies, but most importantly give me a kiss at ur earliest convenience.

thank u @cl0wnapologist i love u molly

1. say hi! :D (name/age/pronouns)

hello i am jillian also referred to as jill and sometimes jill beans im 20 and my pronouns are she/her

2. what’s your venus sign? <3

aquarius <3 i will never experience love

3. would you rather people perceive you as the person you present to the world or your true self? are they the same?

it would be cool for people to see me as my true self but im kinda fuckin wack,,, not in a way like “im not like other girls” like as in wow im just wack as fuck idk. i think i am more my true self at this point in my life than i was before which is cool but i feel really alienated from other people u know? gotta switch to sorority girl sometimes its just more convenient to pretend to be someone else

4. what do you prioritize in your relationships—how well someone treats you or how much you like them?

mmm i feel like how much i like them matters because i dont like anyone so that’s like step 1, and they also probably shouldn’t treat me like shit but i tend to let people do that so i just don’t have relationships

5. what’s the most embarrassing fanfic you’ve ever read?

jokes on you i never read fanfiction as a youth!

6. would you rather be fluent in every language or a master of every instrument? if you could only pick one of each what would it be?

probably every language but i would like to be slick with the guitar

7. share some of your favorite characters!

ymir from attack on titan because i vaguely look like her and she is bitch lesbian. also probably every female from attack on titan. i also am a fan of asuka and misato from nge, and tamaki from ouran. also probably i could go on but i will spare you bc this is embarassing

8. what’s a niche interest/subject you could write a 12-page essay on?

sex education and i have written multiple 10+ page essays on it in fact

also probably astrology i did make a 52 slide presentation on the basics of it which is the most capricorn thing i have ever done

9. what are you missing the most right now?

making new friends but also having friends who have the same interests as me specifically molly and alyssa :(

10. hottest non-human animated character? (ex. zootopia fox, ryuk from death note, aunt fanny from robots)

WHY IS RYUK YOUR EXAMPLE

the female titan but not annie just like the actual titan

the war hammer titan as well shes so sexy

11. share some of your old urls/handles/usernames (i’m looking at u, 1D insta with 70 followers from 2013)

lets not bring this up :)

12. what’s a favorite physical feature of yourself? what are some favorite physical features of your friends/loved ones?

my personal favorite feature is my boobies not because they look good but because they are soft and squishy and are my own little stress balls. i have been told i have good teeth tho but my ex said that so it doesnt count

and i love molly’s long ass thick ass hair and her laugh and pretty smile and i love how alyssa has very pretty eyes and skin idk how to describe and bof of their styles are amazing

13. what’s a favorite personality trait of yours? of your friends/loved ones?

there is nothing good about my personality

bUt molly has the best sense of humor in the world and alyssa is the most caring woman her intuition makes her insults towards me so spicy i love it

14. describe a recent time someone made you feel loved/valued

when alyssa gave me a pusheen squishmallow for my birthday

15. what’s the most embarrassing character you’ve been attracted to?

akira from devilman which ik isn’t embarassing bc hes hot but like...,,,, specifically the ceiling scene

16. gayest thing you’ve done recently? (complimentary)

made frog cakes with @cl0wnapologist and @lesbianspongeb0b while watching ouran highschool host club

17. gayest thing you’ve done recently? (derogatory)

when my friends were saying what sport we seem like we wouldve played in high school and all my friends said i would’ve played softball <3

18. what are your comfort movies/shows/books/foods?

movies: spongebob, ratatouille, spirited away

shows: ouran, kids baking championship, free!

books: my anatomy textbook

foods: everything. lately it’s been chocolate peanut butter soup which is a monstrosity i created while high but u know what it slaps

19. last 5 things you looked up in your youtube search bar/history?

rice krispie treats , brown butter rice krispie treats , binging with babish rice krispie treats , rice krispie treats without marshmallows , and attack on titan abridged

(i was craving them one night ok chill)

20. should we kiss rn? :*

i’ve been waiting for u to ask

idk if i have any active mutuals left so i’m not tagging anyone lmao

#personal #don’t read this

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scarlettsabetlondongirl · 4 years

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Poet Scarlett Sabet

In conversation with poet Gerard Malanga for London Magazine.

The London Magazine is England’s oldest literary periodical, with a history stretching back to 1732. Today – reinvigorated for a new century – the Magazine’s essence remains unchanged: it is a home for the best writing and an indispensable feature on the British literary landscape-London Magazine

See here

“After meeting at a French New Wave Cinema book launch in London in November 2019, poets Gerard Malanga and Scarlett Sabet have since kept in regular correspondence via email.

In this unique interview, conducted over several weeks while thousands of miles apart, the two writers discuss shared influences, the recent passing of the Beat Generation poet Michael McClure, and the grounding influence of poetry throughout the international lockdown.

This interview is based on the poets’ original email correspondence and has been edited for clarity.”-London Magazine

GERARD MALANGA: You ask how my week has been? I’ve been in lockdown now for 3 weeks or so, though I might’ve lost count. I have plenty to keep me busy in the house here, plus I have responsibility towards my 3 cats. And then there’s dreamtime, between 4 & 6 in the morning.

But suddenly I felt days back this ennui coming on, like, did the poetry suddenly disappear? Sometimes I’m concerned—but just for a moment mind you—whether I can match or even better the last one? There’s no way I can predict when the muse will appear. If I had the answer, it would vanquish the mystique.

Since I’ve been in lockdown, there’s no going out for me for the morning coffee and The New York Times unfolding on the table. Many a first draft has begun that way, but now with a physical displacement of sorts I can’t claim to be an habitue of the cafe life. The kitchen table serves me well – or wherever I happen to be outdoors – so long as I have a small notebook in my pocket. I even prop myself up in bed with a clipboard pressed against my knees. I follow where I feel a poem coming on. When I start, then I know I’m in for it, but don’t give it the slightest thought. I’m in for the ride.

SCARLETT SABET: Yes, I find sometimes walking in the morning, having a destination, getting into my body and moving get’s the ball rolling with writing. I can understand the ritual of going to a cafe. I’ve written on trains a lot, the motion and rhythm helps, and because I’m in a vacuum in transit I can’t be reached.

I love the image of your 4am dream writing, I think that’s a great ritual. Sometimes I write three pages first thing in the morning, and it’s just anything on my mind. I’ve also found meditation helpful, deepening my state of consciousness and then writing straight afterwards to see what comes out, kind of like automatic writing in the spirit of Austin Osman Spare.

We were both raised Catholic, I wonder if that has had any bearing on your writing or practices? I find a great sense of divinity in art, those moments of inspiration.

GERARD MALANGA: Funny that you would mention that. No one’s ever asked me about my spirituality, that I recall. People have weird notions about me, like I’m some kind of guy about town. I may have a little bit of that too. But spirituality for me is to be able to laugh at yourself. Even when I talk to my cats, I’m laughing at myself. I don’t mean physically laughing as such but going about life without being self-conscious. It helps when I’m writing a poem.

Back in 1970 or so, I had a spiritual conversion. One of my closest friends, a guy named Jim Jacobs, turned me on to the first two Carlos Castaneda/Don Juan books; so we were basically comparing notes and one of the themes that came through for us was to follow your nature to be happy. Suddenly we found ourselves wearing white clothing and calling ourselves the white lights. When we went to London we ended up buying an all-white 1939 Bentley convertible with one windshield wiper not wiping, and it basically gave us the freedom to go visit friends in the English countryside. It sounds hysterically funny when I look back at this, but we were quite sincere in our endeavors. If this was going to be our path we had to be true to the discoveries we made along the way.

During our travels we decided to split off and agreed to re-connect a couple of years later in the Massachusetts Berkshires where he’s from and continue where we left off. Jim ended up being one of the top dealers in the secondary art market handling the likes of Judd and Cy Twombly, and now he’s curating shows. I continued to write poetry without a care in the world and became more attuned to the pictures I was taking. I truly feel I’ve become a better photographer because of the experiences I had. You have to be courageous to suddenly drop out and then drop back in.

Back in ’74, I had this idea for a book of my spiritual poetry that would have as its cover one of those kitschy paintings of Jesus. I called it ‘Poems for the Fat Lady’. You know, the Fat Lady was a phrase I’d picked up from reading Salinger’s Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters, where he’s actually equating Jesus with the Fat Lady, that they were one. That’s pretty neat, I thought. It didn’t go over too well with my publisher who rejected the idea outright. He thought I was joking. So I settled for a kind of even-balanced title, Incarnations,’ and changed the poems around.

Perhaps, the Fat Lady was the closest I ever got to God, though I don’t give it much thought these days. It’s the inspiration and the love that come from it which is the driving force and source for much of what I’m writing nowadays, and that’s the joy when I finally finish a poem. A state of happiness sets in for me.

SCARLETT SABET: And what you said makes sense, I can understand it. Did you have a period where you rebelled against spirituality or Catholicism and were, say, atheist? Although it’s bizarre for me to admit it, once I left school I did swing to atheism, I guess as a way of rebelling or a reaction. School can be dogmatic.

GERARD MALANGA: In hindsight, to embrace atheism, Scarlett, would deny the spirituality within me which accounts for a lot of my poetry as well. There was no real rebellion on my part. I always felt that my guardian angel was looking after me when I was fated to become a poet. Who would I be, otherwise? It’s a scary proposition, come to think of it.

SCARLETT SABET: True, looking back I realise I’ve always had a Guardian Angel too. I’m so sorry for the loss of [influential Beat poet] Michael McClure, and I was moved by the picture you took of him in San Francisco, 1972. What was that day like?

GERARD MALANGA: If I live long enough, God willing, I may end up not knowing anyone because at this juncture a lot of my friends have already passed. Many of them in the obituary series of my most recent book Cool, which you have. I don’t want to slip into a consciousness of perpetual mourning. Yet I hadn’t anticipated that I’d be writing a poem for Michael, but then I opened up to myself and his consciousness flowed right in. Perhaps I had a vacuum to fill at that moment from an external point of view, taking Michael’s place for the poem that would talk to him and he to me.

I remember little of that when I came to visit with him and made his portrait. It was a serene afternoon. Just him and me. I remember distinctly that we went off in his car, perhaps to a restaurant. We were driving somewhere, and that made sense. But for the life of me I remember nothing of what transpired over lunch. With all the history—and it ain’t an awful lot—there’s still a history there to be acknowledged. You know, I performed the part of Billy the Kid in Warhol’s movie which we adapted from Michael’s play, The Beard. Hardly anyone knows this; perhaps in part because I believe the movie has never been shown. So the friendships last and last and continue beyond the grave.

SCARLETT SABET: I’m always struck by the structure of your poems. I was wondering what your approach to this was, whether there was any major influence from particular poets of your youth, or even whether the way that you frame scenes and ideas within poems has any crossover influence from your work in the wider art world?

GERARD MALANGA: Yes, there’s probably a very strict structure to my poems, but it’s casually applied in what the work proposes as possibility, which I don’t even notice when I’m starting out. For instance, for a very long time, the opening to the work begins with an indented first line of let’s say 8 characters. It’s my way of engaging myself and the reader into a form of poetry that’s a radically different departure from what may be normally perceived. Yes, it’s a poem, but I like to think of them as prose poems as well.

I left ‘influences’ behind decades back. I’m pretty much on autopilot. I’m my own navigator. I travel the journey alone. My earliest influence when I literally started was Gerard Manley Hopkins. I was enchanted by his system of ‘sprung rhythm’ which he basically invented with no imitators following. That would’ve been 1959 during the start of the high school year in my senior class. In 1962, I believe, John Ashbery made a profound influence on my early work with his book The Tennis Court Oath. That became my Bible. I’d carry it around my duffle bag wherever I went. But it was Ted Berrigan with his Sonnets in ’64 that unlocked the door for me into what Ashbery was doing and that was a sheer liberating factor. From there the work continued to expand on its own.

The only ‘crossover influence’ that I imagine, as you put it, in the ‘wider art world’ would be my own life, and not the art world, per se. So what we have here is the tendency to open almost all the work in the form of what appears to be a letter on the surface, but is actually a message. I’m addressing the subjects of my poems directly; they’re not ‘about’ the subject. I’m talking directly to them, as if they’re right in the room, whether it’s a person or a cat.

SCARLETT SABET: You mention you don’t write about your subjects but address them directly in your poems. I think this is what makes them so arresting and intimate, particularly in the ‘Lives They Lived’ chapter in your beautiful collection Cool & Other Poems [published by Bottle of Smoke Press]. Each poem is a visceral portal, allowing the reader to be present with you, and witness Christopher Logue against a snowing sky before warming his hands around a mug of cognac, and Anita Pallenberg a vivacious, laughing woman sitting opposite you at Cafe Flore. Also in that chapter you include a poem entitled ‘Gerard Malanga dies’. The poem contains the line ‘I am my only guide now,’ which I found so powerful. Could you tell us how that poem came to be?

GERARD MALANGA: Putting together that section, ‘The Lives They Lived’, I figuratively had to step outside myself. That’s how close I was with many of those listed and to the memories I have of them held dear. It was not an easy section to compile. By the way, ‘The Lives They Lived’, is borrowed from the New York Times‘s annual round-up supplement. I called my contact at the paper to get permission to use it and he saw no problem involved.

Writing ‘Gerard Malanga dies’ was a tricky situation in the need to make it work. It was one of the final poems in the section and it presented me with an opportunity to address certain issues surrounding death and to those friends I’d already acknowledged over a period of nearly 40 years. I also lapse into a bit of my own personal history, as if I’m contemplating how others might see me after I’ve gone: ‘The rabbit hole is waiting for my plunge.’ Somehow, that image of the rabbit hole has emerged in a few of my poems and also echoes back to Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland, one of my favorite childhood books.

The rabbit hole is an image for both death and resurrection, as I see it. Here, I question myself, ‘Am I preparing for another life? A return to life?’ And so I treat this poem as slowly nearing its own end with a ‘journey’ back to life ‘…and on and on…’. I equate this with an actual journey I’d taken by train from ‘Glasgow down to Central London…’ back in 2014 where I’d been dreamily staring out the window at a passing landscape I might not ever explore at any other time.

‘Will I even find my way home to the Bronx’ alludes to a movie I’d seen years back I recall, called ‘The Swimmer’ adapted from a John Cheever short story. Starring Burt Lancaster, his character is swimming across a series of backyard swimming pools and encountering neighbors he knew poolside in attempting to reach home. And when he arrives in the pouring rain and runs up to the door, he discovers that the door’s locked and the house is empty. Such a potent ending and darkened cinematic metaphor, brilliantly done. And it’s these private memories in my life resurfacing that I feel nourishes my work.

SCARLETT SABET: We met at a book launch in London, and you were immediately swarmed, surrounded by people. I think that is a testament to the impact your writing has had globally and across generations. How has your home city of New York and its literary landscape changed and evolved for you over the years? Is it something you feel especially connected to?

GERARD MALANGA: Your question speaks volumes, but I’m going to try to be as brief and succinct as I can hope to be as the facts show. I’m seventy-seven now and there have been no accolades to show for it. Cool came out last year and Whisper Sweet Nothings two years prior and together they comprise the best of anything I’ve ever done, and yet they’ve been totally ignored by the New York literary press overall. In the five decades I’ve been publishing I’ve received not one grant or fellowship or any of the prizes totaling in the millions. Nada. Zilch. I can’t even get my memoirs published and I have thousands of fans waiting for this book. You would think that would count for something. I’m grateful for the European attitude towards my work. That’s what keeps the work alive for me. That’s where my audience is and they relate. I love what I do, and I know it shows through the work from the responses at the readings I give and that’s how my work thrives. I love my audience and that’s the truth of it.

SCARLETT SABET: A year ago today, I finished my waitressing shift, went home and listened to what Jimmy [Page] had produced from the recordings we had made of my poems. this became our spoken word album Catalyst. It was a joy to be able to give you our album as I am so moved by your work. It had a sense of synchronicity also, as years earlier, Jimmy had given me a signed edition of your beautiful poem ‘Devotion’.

You said that ‘Cut Up’ was your favourite track on Catalyst. I had christened that poem ‘Cut Up’ simply because it was the first time I had used the William Burroughs/Brion Gysin method. I always feel it’s a handing over, a leap of faith to a higher power, to introduce another energy to it, and it came out with it’s own dark, random rhythm. Burroughs said “when you cut into the present the future leaks out”, and in that sense it has a spell like quality or possibility.

Some poems I’ve written in one sitting, a sort of channeling, like ‘Fifth Circle of Hell’, which is also on Catalyst. But part of the reason I found the cut-up method so liberating that first time was that I was trying to write a poem to encapsulate that period. I felt cautious because the subject matter was focused on the events in Europe and the Middle East, and the horrors and blood shed of the Bataclan attacks in Paris. I think my own identity and ethnicity – my mother is French-Scottish and my father is Persian – gave this piece more weight personally. So really, the cut-up was a way of detaching through the process, which was effective. I suppose I wonder what your thoughts are on cut-ups?

GERARD MALANGA: Scarlett, cut-ups are a tricky business. They almost feel spontaneous, but with every move there’s no turning back. They’re the antithesis to parallel grammatical structures which is how we reform language to make things sound right. You see Bill [Burroughs] stuck with it all his life. Cut-ups were his language and he embraced the process. It’s okay to experiment with language so long as you come out at the other end with something that satisfies you and encourages you to want to do more, to go further. That’s a big commitment. The one thing you want to avoid is being self-conscious in the process, as you put it. There’s no room for self-consciousness in cut-ups. You have to operate on a more or less unconscious level like when you dream.

Of course, you realize this in dreams. I don’t need to tell you. In dreams, nothing really connects or relates. Dreaming is a series of visual and mental disconnects. One thing leads to the next but you don’t know why nor do you have time to stop to know why. It’s like you go with the flow. Excuse the corniness of this. Dreams are the cut-ups of the unconscious. You can’t go back to change anything to make it better. There’s nothing qualitative about it. When that happens to me, I try to maintain the balance of the good and the bad together. All of it. Yes, I’ve done a little tweaking here and there, but only because I’m now in the conscious state and I want to make the lines sound just right. So it’s okay to prune. Robert Lowell taught me how to prune. But you have to know what you’re doing. It’s trusting your instincts. That’s what I do. If I throw out a perfectly terrific line, it’s because I’m trusting my instincts. But, of course, only I know that. The reader doesn’t, nor does he need to.

One of my earliest poems was a form of the cut-up. My English teacher in high school, Daisy Aldan, who introduced me to the world of poetry, gave us an assignment in class to cut out words at random from the newspaper and fill a paper bag with them. The next step was to reach into the bag and pick out one word at a time and place them on a page, and then to transcribe those words into a text, including all the capital and lower-case letters. I did one better and glued them onto the page. This all had to do with chance. Remember, Stéphane Mallarmé, in his last poem ‘Un coup de dés’ said that a ‘a throw of the dice NEVER NEVER will abolish chance.’ Well, he was right about that. You take your chances, you trust your instincts.

SCARLETT SABET: I’ve started reading Gysin’s novel The Process. I bought it last year at Shakespeare&Co but started reading it now to feel closer to Morocco, a place that I really love, while still in lockdown. I wondered what places have meant the most to you?

GERARD MALANGA: I have Brion’s book on my shelf, but I’ve yet to read it. Perhaps I’m still not ready for it yet. Right now I’m immersed in Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina. What I like about it is that it reads like it’s not translated but written directly in English. That’s probably the best kind of translated work.

The first place that comes to mind that has meant the most to me, although there may have been others, is the Cafe Flore. It was my first introduction to cafe life when I arrived in Paris in the spring of 1965. And henceforth whenever I’ve visited Paris, I would arrive punctually every morning during my stays. There’s no other cafe that does it for me. Of course, there’s the cafe in the Luxembourg Gardens, but that’s more like a restaurant; a different ambiance entirely. The Flore has a certain something, a certain charm about it that allows me to immerse myself reading the morning papers or writing a poem even. The food’s good too. The croissants, the omelettes, the cafe creme. Some years back, I started referring to it as my ’office’ whenever I had an appointment to meet with friends. And I’d be certain to book a hotel room within walking distance. Anyway, the Flore is the start of my day.

SCARLETT SABET: Well, I hope one day, when the lockdown is over, we can meet you at Cafe Flore.

Photos: London Magazine

#scarlett sabet #jimmy page #jimmy page girlfriend #led zeppelin #poet #poetry #the london magazine #london magazine #gerard malanga

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fmdyujinarchive · 4 years

Text

fmdmeme002 — compilation.

1. what is your goal for this year/next year?

it’s a fairly common question that yujin’s been getting a lot since 2020 started. her goal hasn’t changed much, and she’s pretty sure her korean fans are all aware of it at this point. “more korean promotions! as a group and not just me. we really appreciate all the love we get from all around the world, but i think some domestic promotions as a group would be nice. maybe also two comebacks in a year?” she eyes her manager who’s hovering over her and giggles in hopes to ease the tension, sending off the fan with a wave.

2. what song would you want to sing to or play for someone you like?

“do you like someone?” yujin’s teasing the fan in front of her because it’s one of their pre-debut fans, someone she’s seen around. “from the way the question is phrased, i’m guessing it’s someone you like but you aren’t really with. am i right?” the fan nods, and yujin can’t help but laugh. she finds the whole situation cute, and she’s happy her fan finds her comfortable enough to confide in her. “how about bolbbalgan4′s some? it can work as a sort of confession song!”

3. what’s your favorite scent?

”i’m a big fan of flowery scents! i think a lot of my perfumes are sort of rosy smelling. but you know what’s really nice? the smell of laundry that’s just been folded. or maybe that’s just the smell of detergent? i pick our detergent so that makes sense, right?”

4. if you spent one day with a fan, where would you go and what would you do?

”i have always wanted to go on an amusement park date with our fans! wouldn’t that be so much fun! i absolutely love roller coasters, and all the attractions that an amusement park has. the parades that they do for special occasions! even the expensive food! it would be absolutely marvelous, don’t you think so?”

5. what new concept do you want to try showing fans?

yujin liked to think that element was quite diverse with their concept despite popular belief. sure, some of their songs had similar vibes behind them, but they weren’t exactly the same concept. “as element? i think another suit and tie concept would be nice. we never got to perform don’t recall which i think was the closest we had to that concept so going back to that would be nice.”

6. which girl group do you like the most recently?

”everybody knows i love aria sunbae-nim a lot!” she clapped her hands together at the thought of her favorite seniors. “lost n found was so amazing and so was wag-zak! i had the best time performing mr. chu back at our gold star nation concert. i’ll practice a few of their songs again and try to upload them for our aether!”

7. which boy group do you like the most recently?

now here was the trick question. she had it a little easier than other girl groups because of her own male members. people didn’t seem to find her a threat for some reason. it was odd, but it meant that she could be more expressive with such questions. “it’s not because they’re from the same company, but origin sunbae-nim are all so talented, and they’re breaking records! i think that’s really admirable.”

8. what soloist do you like the most recently?

”our very own @fmdjoosung! nobody else competes with sung oppa,” she commented. when the fans gave her a few thumbs down, stating how that was a boring answer, she huffed and crossed her arms across her chest. “what do you mean boring? sung oppa is my favorite soloist and always will be. or at least until @fmdsohyun makes a solo debut.”

9. what song have you been listening to a lot that you would recommend to fans?

”it’s weird, but i’ve been listening to songs that i practiced as a trainee again! there’s so many, but for some reason i’ve had lipstick sunbae-nim’s heart attack stuck in my head! so that’s something i’ve been listening to a lot. you all probably know the song because it was so popular, but i recommend you go back and listen to it again! watch the music video too!”

10. what is your most used app?

she looks down at the sticky note, and its choices. it’s filled with the typical: instagram, kakaotalk, melon, twitter or other. yujin does update instagram a lot, but she’s not sure if it’s her most used application. she ignores the sticky note at first, making conversation with the fan instead, but when it’s time for her to move along, she finally makes her decision. there’s a circle around kakaotalk by the time she’s moved onto the next member.

11. what should someone do to win your heart?

”sing me a love song!” yujin laughs while leaning over to grab the fan’s hand. “i’m kidding. that’s a little cheesy, but i don’t think i’d mind it?” she sits on the question for a while. “just be truthful and express all your love! that’s more than enough for me!”

12. what do you want for your next birthday?

she knows that what she answers is most likely what she’ll be getting. however, she didn’t really want fans spending money on her for her birthday. “just lots of love! and hugs! and maybe some kisses from my members!” she laughs before waving off the fan and greeting the next one.

13. what do you consider to be your most charming feature/trait?

”don’t i have a pretty smile?” as if to prove her point, yujin puts on the biggest smile she can manage. it’s the first part of her face that she could think of that she doesn’t even consider personality traits. “i’ve also heard that i’m fun to be around. i think that counts as a trait?”

14. what is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

yujin’s a simple girl. she pretty much likes any flavor and will take anything. “i like chocolate and vanilla swirled together! is there a name for that flavor?” her burrows come together in curiosity, but the fan doesn’t seem to know it either. “anyway, i think there might be, but yeah, that’s my favorite flavor!”

15. how should i ask out the person i like?

”just be straight up about it!” terrible advice, but there wasn’t all that much time. plus, it’s not like a high school student had any other options. “tell them you like them! ask them to a movie or maybe to a snack date. get ddeokbokki and maybe patbingsu even though it’s a little cold. that’s a cute date idea!”

16. what’s the secret behind your good looks?

the question immediately makes her laugh. it’s cheesy questions like these that make her ecstatic for fan signs. she wonders how fans come up with such questions. “love yourself!” she said also writing it down on the page that she was signing. “you know what they say? your inner beauty shines through all the time. so stay true to yourself.”

17. what do you think of fans of the same gender as you?

yujin adored all her fans. however, she thinks the female ones are a little more special. they seem to be more expressive with their love in ways that make her happy. male fans usually screamed to show their love, but female fans would send her long messages or letters. they’d make sure to ask about yujin’s well being first. “i adore them. they truly make me smile all the time.”

18. what is the most recent thing that made you happy?

she had just finished wrapping up filming for school 2017, and that was definitely a happy experience. but she thinks it sounds too personal. too non-element related. but it’s not like she had anything element-related to tell her fans. “we had really good chicago pizza when we went to chicago! it was delicious!”

19. what is your happiness level these days on a scale from 0 to 100?

yujin realizes that questions like this can be misinterpreted. she could give a high number, and they’d accuse her of being fake. if she gives a realistic number, then her fans would worry. so she scribbles down 99, and then writes a +1 whenever i see you! that seems like a cute enough answer that won’t worry anyone.

20. can you give some inspiring words for someone going through a hard time?

yujin wishes she could have the right words to say. she’s good at comforting people through physical touch: hugs, back rubs, things like that. but she never seems to have the right words to say. what would be inspiring for yujin when she was going through a hard time? looking down at the note, she writes down: always stay true to yourself. even if this doesn’t work out, at least you tried, and you fought. that’s what matters.

21. what words of advice would you give to someone studying for their college exam?

yujin never took the exam. she graduated high school, and then that afternoon she went straight back to practicing. she doesn’t even remember doing too well in school. it was good enough if she showed up. “just remember that you’re smarter than you think you are! you’re going to do great, and all your hard work is going to pay off. i believe in you.”

22. give yourself a percent ranking from 0 to 100 in the following categories: cute, cool, and sexy.

at first, she doesn’t see the note because she’s too busy talking to her fan. when her attention is brought to it, she tilts her head to the side. “i think i’m definitely a 100 in cool,” she jokes. she writes down 90 for cute, 60 for cool and then 80 for sexy. element’s concepts were always pretty strong and sexy, and she thinks she does her part pretty well.

23. what place do you want to travel to the most?

element’s been to a lot of places around the world already, and so yujin can’t seem to think of a place. “singapore? we’ve been there before, but we didn’t get to travel! i remember it being a beautiful country though, and i’d love to go back! you know, actually explore the place a little more.”

24. what language would you like to learn?

”i feel bad whenever changyu oppa has to translate for me so definitely english! but i’m already trying! it’s just hard.” she pouts because truthfully, she has stopped trying. learning languages was difficult, and she could speak a decent amount of japanese. that was easier to learn than english. it was the pronunciation that always got her fumbled up.

25. what is the first thing you think of when someone mentions your fans?

”how supportive they are! how much love they always send to us! how they’re always anticipating our new music. oh i could go on and on!” she truly could. yujin’s love for their fans was one of the most genuine feelings she ever felt.

26. what is your favorite movie/book you’ve seen/read recently?

yujin hadn’t read in forever. she’s picked up a few essay books, but she couldn’t find one interesting enough to finish. a lot of books were supposed to be about self loving or teaching yourself life lessons. she thought those were boring, and not something you could learn from a book. “to all the boys i’ve loved before! it was so cute and really cheesy, but still cute. it was a high school romance movie so it just had to be cheesy.”

27. what are your recent wishes?

she’s not sure how truthful she could be. her biggest wish is for all the individual recognition that she’s been getting to go onto element. she didn’t want to lose her group, but she feels like at this pace, group promotions may continue to be pushed back. that’s the last thing she needed. “for everybody to be healthy! and safe. and happy.” she states all while writing it down on the heart-shaped sticky note the fan has provided.

28. what are the requirements for your ideal type?

”it’s changyu oppa, of course!” it’s a running joke within the fandom. whenever someone asks for her ideal type, she’s answered her own group member. it was a safe answer, and everybody always took it as a joke, and yujin liked it that way. “don’t tell sung oppa though. he might sulk again!”

29. what job would you want if you weren’t an idol?

yujin’s one of those people who can’t imagine her life as a non-idol. this is what she was born to do. “i’m not sure. i think i could make a good kindergarten teacher though, what do you think?” the fan nods, and she thinks it’s a good answer for something that just popped into her head. “i can’t imagine myself as anyone other than element’s yujin though.”

30. what is a hobby you’d like to pick up?

“i think i’d like to try snowboarding! i’m so used to water sports, but i don’t think i’ve ever gone snowboarding before. it looks like a lot of fun! i think i’d fall on my butt a lot, but that’s all part of the learning process! maybe i’ll try it when we have some time off.”

#fmdmeme002 #[ copying demi bc i don't want to flood the dash ]#[ esp bc i think i'm super late with this lmao ]#[ but i still also have miru so look out folks!! ]#( headcanon. )

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royallyprincesslilly · 5 years

Text

Title: Give In (Part II)

Idris Elba X Reader “Zanzee” Mini Series (6 Part Mini Series)

Warning: Wild, wild thoughts, angst

Word Count: 3.9K

Summary: For the past 5 months has worked on the set of the “Hobbs & Shaw” movie. She works close to all the main actors and is there to answer any whim they may have as the "Set Concierge". She holds herself to a high professional level and refuses to stray from the right side of that pesky, thin grey line that those in the entertainment industry easily jump over.

Note: Will go through 1 week in the life of Zanzee Grant. Y'all I’m afraid this is as close as I will EVER get to a one shot. SMH. I cannot write a one shot to save my life.

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

***Interactive Chapter***(Click the links, I am not tryna get flagged)

****Thank you guys for reading. I appreciate it as ALWAYS! If you enjoyed this please LIKE and REBLOG. ❤️ ❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tuesday

You opened your eyes and stared at the ceiling of your bedroom. You glanced at the clock; 4 AM. You groaned while closing your eyes. You were pulled back into the memory from last night. The memory of nearly knocking yourself out with the weight of Idris’…. You were at a loss as what to call it. You did know that it was meaty, the weight of it on your forehead told you that the rumors about him being called “Big Driis” were not exaggerations at all. You sunk your teeth into your bottom lip and released a low moan. Unconsciously your hand moved from their place atop the mattress and traveled across your stomach downward to the apex of your thighs.

Before you knew it your fingers had a mind of their own and were quickly working you to a release, a release with Idris on your mind. You thought about all the times over the last five months where the two of you interacted, the little touches that probably meant nothing, the smiles—god that man’s smile was something of pure godly power. He smiled, and it was clear to see how he could get any woman he pleased. Your breath caught in your throat forcing a strangled gasp from your lips, and it was then you felt the first stirs of your release. Your fingers sped up chasing the release your body so desperately wanted. You zeroed in on a memory of Idris changing.

You’d accidentally walked into his trailer with some rewrites and the new wardrobe and was in time to see him zipping up his leather pants still without a shirt. In your embarrassment, you quickly turned your back and apologized profusely. He was cool about it, but you’d had enough time to glance over the hardened plane of his eight pack and his mouth-watering obliques that dipped in giving those two chiseled lines that drove women crazy since the beginning of time. It was there your memory lingered, and it was then your orgasm erupted through you. You screeched at the force of it surging through you and the ecstasy that followed.

“Jesus!”

Your body slowly returned to its normal temperature, and your heart rate slowed down. You swallowed painfully; it had taken everything out of you. You slowly sat up knowing you were not going to go back to sleep and knowing you were fucked. You’d be thinking about this all day. You got out of bed, stretched, walked to your music system and found your “wake up” playlist. You pressed play and began your routine. The loud music helped you push your dreams, and moments ago out your head and prepare for the long day ahead.

By the time your chauffeured car pulled up to the lot you had thirty minutes to spare. You sat there a few moments longer and stared out the window at the hustle and bustle of set life. You closed your eyes and did some meditation breathing you’d learned. You focused and centered yourself and made a mental list of things to accomplish for the day.

“My to-do list for today, and part of my to-do list for tomorrow, also a head start on the end of the week cast and crew dinner,” you recited.

You’d been tasked with it yesterday as if you didn’t already have a lot to do. You sighed out once more, rolled your shoulders back and raised your head high. You stepped out the car and walked across the lost eyes forward and focused. A few people hurried to you holding out folders and stacks of paper, you took them all and skimmed them as you walked to your trailer. When you stepped inside you dropped your bags and took off your sweater and took another few seconds to practice your breathing.

“You are a professional Z, pro-fes-inal,” you slowly enunciated.

You took a sip from your latté cup and flipped through the pages you’d been given. It was all set changes, script changes, new requests, tasks to complete to ensure the shots for later in the day went off without a hitch and things of that sort. You heard a faint knock at the door and turned telling them to come in. Ethan stepped up into the trailer with a bright smile on his face.

“Hey Z.

You give him a friendly smile.

“What’s up Ethan?”

“Tonight, the rest of us were meeting up at Troy’s Pub to unwind, wanted to see if you wanted to come along.”

You leaned against one of the tables, already feeling the word “no” form on your tongue.

“Before you say no, think about it, see how the day plays out. Who knows, you might need it,” Ethan said. You nodded.

“Okay, I’ll think about it.”

He nodded with a smile as he turned to leave. Before he did, he stopped and smiled back to you.

“You look good today Z.”

As quickly as he said it, he was gone. You smirked to yourself. It was the worst kept secret on set that Ethan had a crush on you, a secret you knew but ignored. If actors slept around with anyone, the same could be said about other set assistants, they all slept with each other. You turned back around and finished up.

When you walked across the lot to the morning huddle, you felt small butterflies flit in the bottom of your stomach forcing your palms to sweat. You stood to the back and listened to Peter, the assistant director as he spoke about the day’s vision and whatever other nonsense he needed to get out. He was a lot wordier than David, and you had no idea why.

After almost ten minutes he finished, and everyone began clearing out. You saw Dwayne’s back and knew Idris and Jason weren’t far from him. You slowly approached them, cautiously as if you were some timid peacock. Halfway there you snapped out of it, straightened your back and remembered you were a bad bitch, a professional bad bitch. You sped up your steps and walked over to them. Jason saw you first.

“Good morning Z,” he said with a smile, a smile you returned.

“Good morning Jason, Dwayne,” you responded noticing Idris was missing. You quickly looked around scanning the nearby vacuity for him but didn’t see him.

“He was called to do a different shoot across town. He’s filming the car chase scene,” Jason filled in. You nodded as you remembered the scene but didn’t see it on the schedule.

“Interesting, it’s not on the schedule for the day.”

“David changed his mind last minute; you know how he is, which explains Peter here instead,” Dwayne finished.

You nodded and handed them each their coffee.

“Jason, I thought we’d switch it up today, I found a nice Columbian blend that I think will put the Moroccan one as your number two,” you added. He smiled and took a sip. You waited for the verdict. He nodded his agreement.

“Eh, it’s good I won’t lie, it’s very close between the two,” Jason admitted.

“See, I told you I’m good.” He smiled and nodded.

“Is there anything you both need before I take the trip to the set across town?”

Both Dwayne and Jason shook their heads indicating they needed nothing.

“Okay, I’ve left the menus for lunch in your trailers, shoot me a text to tell me what it’s gonna be, and I’ll have it for you. Also, text me if you need anything at all,” you explained. They both nodded, Jason, waved you off before turning around to look at the set still being finished. You scoffed and shook your head.

“All right Jason, I know when I’m not wanted,” you joked.

“You’re not needed here, he needs you over there,” he slid out. Your smile slipped as you tried to grasp his meaning. As if he knew he tripped you up he smiled and turned back around.

You walked away to one of the set cars and began your projected twelve-minute drive to the second set.

Once you arrived, you looked at the chaos around. Crowds were surrounding the set, everyone trying to snap a picture of what was going on. There were groups of women holding up signs for Idris, Jason, and Dwayne. One of those signs read “I used to be a ballerina; I can do the split in four different ways, I can show you, Idris.” You couldn’t help yourself; you loudly laughed as you approached security. You showed him your badge, and he allowed you access. You walked through the swarm of crew members and made your way to the tent you knew the actors were. You juggled the items in your hands and maneuvered through the bodies littering the set. You saw Idris walk from underneath the tent out toward the row of cars. You watched the way he walked, that wide leg dip of a bow-legged man. It was attractive as hell, and it always commanded your attention. You stepped underneath the tent and smiled at the other crew members. David, the director, stood up and clapped his hands together.

“Quiet on set! Idris, you’ve got the scene?”

“Got it,” he answered. David nodded, stepped behind the lens and held his hand up signaling for all movement and sounds to cease. He counted down from five with his fingers and then pointed indicating the beginning of the scene.

In an instant, Idris leaped into action. You watched the high intensity; action scene unfold before you. There was limited dialogue just Idris showcasing why he was becoming one of the top actors to consider for an action role. He ran across the street, slide over the hood of the fancy Lamborghini, landing on his feet before he drew a gun from the holster on his thigh. He acted as if he pulled the trigger and eight loud, realistic gunshots sounded on the set. From behind him, a woman came attempting to kick him in the head. As quickly as he slid across the hood, he spun around, grabbed her leg and slammed her against the wall of the brick building thus beginning one of the fancy martial arts choreographed fight scenes. You stepped behind David and looked through the lens. It looked good, he was good.

The scene continued for another minute before David yelled “cut.” Everyone on set clapped.

“Yes, that is exactly what I wanted. Great work,” David complimented. Idris nodded as he approached the tent. A few other crew members patted him on the back and congratulated him, he accepted the praise but said nothing. The moment he saw you, you saw the blood on his eyebrow. Your smile faltered as worry rang through you. You approached him as he sat down.

“Hey Z,” Idris said.

“You’re hurt. Are you okay?” you stooped a little to get eye level with his face and examined his eyebrow.

“I’m all right, occupational hazard,” Idris joked. You ignored him and touched his temple. He sucked in a breath.

“Yeah, you’re hurt. We need a medic,” you said before you rose to turn to notify one of the set handles. Idris grabbed your hand forcing you to look at him. You looked at his hand around your wrist and then to him.

“I’m fine Z, it’s just a little cut,” he explained.

“Still, it’s their job to ensure the actors are okay. Someone should patch you up.

“It’s also your job to make sure I have everything I need. So, if I need a medic, you should patch me up,” he said his voice low. The words caught you off guard making you freeze.

Everything in you felt like that was a line. You felt like he was being flirtatious, but you couldn’t be sure. You bit your bottom lip and studied his face. He slowly let your wrist go the longer it took you to speak, and before long he broke the stare. It sure as hell wasn’t your job to clean his wounds, and it sure as hell wasn’t your job to touch him unless necessary, but everything in you wanted to. You wanted to nurse his wounds, wanted to touch him, everywhere, endlessly. Your palms tingled with how badly you felt the urge. You lifted your hand to reach for him, it brought his attention back to you but before either of you could make another move David approached. Once he saw the blood, he called medical over, and in an instant, the opportunity passed, but the air between the two of you was still charged. You turned your back to him and tried to compose yourself. You took several deep breathes and used it as a needed reprieve to get a grip on your thoughts and emotions.

Once you turned around, he was cleaned up. You cleared your throat, took up his coffee and the stack of papers and proceeded, business as usual.

“I have your coffee here, it may not be as scalding as you like, that’s my fault I’m sorry. I didn’t know your shoot was switched up today. It won’t happen again,” you explained.

“It’s fine Z, I’ll still take it,” Idris appeased as he reached out for the cup. As he took it from your hands, his fingers brushed yours, and that was all it took for the electricity to spark within you. You forced yourself to keep a straight face, careful not to give anything away. He took a long sip from the cup and moaned.

“Nothing like a British blend,” Idris sighed out. You smirked to yourself.

“Also, your schedule, I think you have a few minutes to go over it,” you said handing him a copy of the schedule. For the next few minutes, you explained the changes and every obligation he had that day. Once you were finished, he nodded.

“All right; got it.” You nodded as well.

“Okay, well that’s it for me for now. Do you want anything else from me?” he looked up at you, and his eyes dropped to your mouth and then slowly over your body before he shook his head and looked back to your face.

“Like what?”

You shrugged and smiled.

“Uh, I don’t know, anything I guess,” you said unsure how to answer his question.

“Anything. Huh, I need—” he trailed off as he stared at you. You waited for him to finish his sentence, silently hoping he would finish the sentence with the word “you.” He took a deep breath in and slowly released it, the look on his face spoke of annoyance, and something else, something close to what you imagined as disappointment.

“No Z, you’ve been great, thank you,” he said standing from his monogrammed chair. He began walking away from you toward the director and a circle of other crew members. You stood there feeling like a lost puppy, filled with disappointment.

You stayed on set for fifteen more minutes before you left to go back to Lot A to get cracking on the rest of your tasks when you left Idris was nowhere in sight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“How is it possible for you to work so much?” Ethan asked, leaning against the door frame of your trailer. You looked back at him and smiled.

“Well, I have this thing called a drive to be successful,” you teased.

“Ouch, burn,” Ethan feigned faux hurt as he held his chest.

“What’s up?”

He walked further in and sat across from you.

“How are the plans coming for the end of the week?”

You sighed and rubbed your forehead.

“Well, you’re looking at them. Whose damn idea was it to have a weekly cast and crew dinner?”

“That would be Peter; he thinks it helps with team building and not keeping the actors and the crew separate. I actually like it,” Ethan explained. You nodded.

“Great. So why can’t we just recycle the same concept every week and simply reserve the same thing in advance?”

“Again Peter, he thought it would be fun to switch up themes every week,” Ethan added. You rolled your eyes.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d think that you and Peter hang out off set,” you said. Ethan scoffed and shook his head.

“Do you want some help? I don’t mind.”

You looked over his face. There was a time (the first day you got on set) that you thought he was cute and thought maybe, but that changed quickly (fourth day on set) when you caught him and Tammie going at it behind one of the trailers. Since then you kept it all in perspective.

“No, I’m good. Thanks,” you answered.

“All right, was just checking in on you and dropping off this stuff for you,” Ethan said pointing behind him at a rack of clothes, and the stack of papers. You groaned and shook your head.

“Writers, they need a life, they write too damn much, nothing everything needs to be said and resaid in fifteen hundred different ways,” you ranted as you approached the stack of what you knew were rewrites. You took up the stack and rifled through them and nodded as your suspicions were confirmed.

“We all have a role to play Z; catch ya’ later.” He closed the door behind him leaving you alone with your frustrations. You knew this wasn’t work frustrations, this was lite work, you’d done some truly hard set work before, and this was in the middle. This you could handle. You knew where your frustrations were coming from and that was precisely what made you even more irritable. You rolled your head around stretching your tense muscles and counted.

You didn’t feel anywhere near calm until you’d reached eighty. You were now trecking through the lot to distribute wardrobe and rewrites to the actors’ trailers. You glanced at your phone, eight twenty. At this time, you knew Jason, Idris and Dwayne were filming another night scene across town, that thought gave you some comfort. Whenever Idris was near your body automatically went into a heightened state of suspension, it wouldn’t relax, and the longer you remained close to him the worse it became. You quickly dropped off items in Dwayne’s and Jason’s trailers making sure to take any notes they’d left for you for the next day and the week. A task that was supposed to be ten minutes tops was made longer by little micro errands you had to complete between dropping items off.

By the time you made it to Idris’ trailer, it was almost nine thirty. Without thinking you opened the door to the trailer and climbed the three steps inside. You flicked on one of the lamps and the space lit up with a soft white hue leaving darkness throughout the majority of the trailer. You placed the stack of papers on the desk you normally did, saw no notes for you and proceeded to walk toward the area you knew held a decent sized relaxation area. When you rounded the corner, you flicked on another light prepared to drape the wardrobe items across the bed.

A door opened to your right and out came Idris with water beads peppered across his chiseled chest. You stared at him without moving so much as a muscle and traveled the length of his torso. As your eyes took in his smooth skin, they spent extra time on his abs and inevitably his brain-numbing oblique indentations.

“Jesus Christ!” you panted out, the desire in your voice clear. You quickly looked up to meet his eyes that bored holes into you. A chill ran up your spine, and you arched your breasts forward. Idris’ eyes dropped to your breasts, and you saw his tongue peek out and dart across his full lips.

“Fuck!” you grunted in a pleading voice.

You had no idea what you were pleading for. It could have been for strength, mercy or for him to do just that push you against a wall and fuck you. With your run-away thoughts, you looked back down across his body, and it was then you saw he had a towel wrapped around his waist with an evident bulge asking for attention. You took a small step forward but hesitated to complete it. The look on his face went to an expression of hope. You took two steps back and recollected your senses.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” you rushed out, closing your eyes and turning your back to give him some privacy.

“I had no idea you were in here; I thought you were still filming. I came in to drop some things off. If I had known you were in here, I never would have--,” you trailed off.

You pinched your lips together embarrassment taking over. He didn’t speak; you didn’t even know if he moved. You wanted to look back but knew your strength, and that was more than you could take. If you looked back, you would cross a line. After another almost minute of silence you nodded.

“Right, I’m sorry again. Your wardrobe for tomorrow is there, rewrites and other tidbits on the table. Good night,” you rambled on as you walked toward the door and quickly out of it.

Instead of walking back to your trailer you ran with a horrified expression plastered across your face. There were still two more scenes to film for the night, but you stayed away from him for the rest of the night. You kept away from watching the filming, made sure not to be anywhere he was. Instead, you busied yourself with trying to get ahead for the next day. No matter how busy you made yourself, you still couldn’t stop thinking about him, or it. It looked heavy and felt solid. If that was true, then the rumors were very well quite possibly very true.

By the time eleven o’clock rolled around you couldn’t deal anymore and left to go home but with the amount of manic energy you had home was not an option. Instead, you called Andra and your friends and had them meet you at your go-to bar to unwind.

One drink turned to three and three turned to nine, and before you knew it, you were dancing on a table with your friends all around you cheering you on. When you got home, it was almost three in the morning. You expected to be tired and too drunk for your brain to work, but nope, like clockwork, you remained up with thoughts of Idris, his abs and his abundant blessing from the God almighty.

To Be Continued….

Tag List:

@deansbbysblog @lovelynervouschaos @scarlet-fury1421 @spacefloozy @letreck @fairyscarywrites @chaneajoyyy @queennanayaa @disneysdarlingdiva @hidden-treasures21 @mellowjellow6 @skysynclair19 @amirra88 @jozigrrl @bidibidibombaclaat @vibranium-soul @ovohanna24 @yourwonderbelle @champagnesugamama @leahnicole1219 @aieyr @kaykay0829 @hi-looo12

**If you would like to be tagged let me know. I only tagged those who expressed interest.

#give in fic #idris elba #idris elba is daddy #idris elba fanfic #idris elba thirst #idris elba x you #idris elba x reader #idris elba smut #idris elba x black reader #black fanfiction #fanfiction

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confessionsofanoperaghost · 5 years

Note

🎭 for the PotO meme

1. Does the name “Erik” get your attention, no matter where or in what context you hear it? ,,,,,,,,,,actually yes.

2. Would you travel or have you traveled to certain places only because they were PotO-related? Which ones? I certainly would! And I have a long long list of places that are from my headcanon as well! But sadly they are in Europe, Asia and the Middle East. Cost is a factor.

3. Would you see the musical by yourself because your friends or family weren’t in the mood to go with you? Have you done so already? I haven’t and I might. It really depends on how my relationship to the musical changes over the next 20-60 years. I’m not keen on most of ALW’s recent touch on the franchise and I’m worried about more and more or Maria Bjornson’s work getting dropped from the tour (and rumors say maybe from the Broadway and WE productions as well in time??). So, we’ll see. I will be happy to outlive ALW and bear witness to the various ways the The Really Useful Group shoots itself in the foot. But its so expensive to watch something that’s only going to break your heart--and not in the ways you want it to. So it REALLY depends.

4. How often have you seen the musical? I have seen it exactly once. It came to my hometown in 1999 (I was 15) and I spent every penny I could scrape together to get an orchestra-level ticket. And frankly I was unimpressed. I never went back. I feel bad for saying it. It might have been better for me if I had grown up with bootlegs, but I had only read the book and listened to the OLC. I literally didn’t know what to expect from the tour. I’m not sure.

5. How much PotO stuff do you own? I should just say “a lot of stuff I dunno, lol” but I suddenly want to think about this.

My original deMattos paperback

A David Coward paperback

A Wolfe paperback (its at a friend’s house at the moment)

The “milestone collection” two DVD disc set with all the extras of the 1925 Poto with Lon Chaney Sr (my babe!!!)

The Cherik miniseries (as a bootleg copy on DVD...i paid good money for it tho, lol)

the 2004 movie cuz it was cheap as hell

Original London Cast recording of the ALW musical on CD

This BRILLIANT book about the making of the 1925 silent film

An actual first run copy of The Phantom of Manhattan by Fredrick Forsythe (purchased for me on clearance as a joke.)

A cheap copy of Susan Kay’s book that a friend picked up for me. I’ve been asked to do a seething read-along. I figured I should probably own the book before I literally rip it a brand new shiny asshole on YouTube...

a weird, like, 14 pages long, full color, SUPER condensed version of the book with Greg Hildebrant’s drawings. This was the present our teacher purchased for the acting class that produced a weird 1970′s straight-play version of the story that no one seems to remember now (its not particularly good so don’t worry)

the “Barnes and Noble” deMattos hardcover edition that --because it started to fall apart right away--I have been using for art projects and pop-culture-based spells

A large locket with Lon Chaney’s Erik (and his Quasimodo)

one of Muirin007′s gorgeous prints

An adorable necklace made by MegLouiseGiry that’s got a slice from the book in it and a heart-shaped crystal (Poto Secret Santa 2017)

A Lon Chaney 1925 POTO T Shirt. And it glows in the dark! (I got his Quasi on a shirt too but sadly it does not glow in the dark)

a 17,000+ word Google document: a sticky rough draft of my Erik-life-story Phic that I may or may not have been working on for 2 decades.

similarly, a red and gold notebook stuffed with tangled notes and headcanons and bad phan poetry from the 1990s

A bunch of other books that look unrelated to the untrained eye (for research)

a 6 inch figure of Lon Chaney’s POTO dangling from a plastic chandelier that happens to be about to scale

a thousand other items that may not look like references to Poto to the untrained eye... like: a red scarf and round-framed spectacles and an antique violin case and a choking kink and a skull mask and a dramatic red and gold cape and daddy issues and a balcony overlooking the sea and a black mask that covers the whole face and an attraction to the most beautiful hands........

6. Have you had dreams about the Phantom or other characters? Do you remember any in particular? I’ve only had dreams about Erik. Usually I am myself or Christine or some slurry of the two. Here’s the best one:

Saturday, November 19, 2016. True Beauty.

There was the theatre. The wings and the lifts. Backstage lights. Curtains.

Joseph Bouquet spots the fiend in the catwalks and is--fast as lightning--slaughtered by the quickest of lassos. Other stagehands and security ascend to the tops, chasing a shadow they can barely see. Someone thinks they’ve captured his cloak only to find their fists full of nothing.They chase this shadow to the roof and find nothing but stars as the phantom killer slips away...down into the dark.

Carved structure. The dark is black and warm. He feels near. Yes, Erik has come for you. A lucid dream, I am both player and played.

I am playing you.

You feel a dance. You cannot find your way out of all that warm darkness. Though she cannot see, she feels her maestro all around. Unable to retreat, unable to find light; she turns but I am already there... darkness and a warm, red, deep glow. She twists in anxiety and frustration--away! away! away!-- breathing as though she is counting her final breaths. Twisting and trying to find some cool air or a bit of sunlight.

Erik shows her that there is no escape from Erik. He is is every corner of her.

She succumbs.

7. How many times have you read the book? Literally more than I can count. At 15 I had MOST of Chapter 13, Apollo’s Lyre, memorized (deMattos translation). Iv’e only read it in English and I have yet to read some of the less-recommended translations.

8. How many songs from the musical could you recite from memory? (Or just sing along to?) So I have almost the whole thing more-or-less memorized EXCEPT that its ONLY the version as sung in the Original London Cast recording. So every single line that has been changed since then (or god forbid an unedited soundtrack where all the choruses of Hannibal are included, lol) I get wrong. But yeah i listened to that nightly for like 2 years of my adolescence and I can hardly listen to any of it now. I burned places in my synapses.

9. Do you randomly quote lines from the book or musical in real life? Don’t you? Honestly, the most fun I have is calling up fun lines and needle them into my vocabulary throughout a regular day. Unless you do an obvious one your average person isn’t going to know.

10. Have you ever met up with another phan? Yes but by the time I’ve me up with them its definitely about something more relevant than the Phandom that brought us together.

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flowers-in-your-dustbin · 6 years

Note

All the numbers again (second tag reblog)

1: When you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More milk than cereal cause I like to drink it!

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Yeah, but when I can get into the warmth after that's even better!

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? I try to remember the page number instead so usually end on a multiple of 10 or 5.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Tea: Two sugars, milk, hopefully brewed by the gal. Coffee: I don’t!

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Kinda!

6: do you keep plants? Nope!

7: do you name your plants? None to name!

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Oils if I had the money for that so typically watercolours

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? I am right now.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Typically side, but back is fine. Not stomach really!

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? Oh My Gouda.

12: what's your favorite planet? Uranus ;)

13: what's something that made you smile today? My gal surprised me with a beautiful orchid

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Edgy expose brick aesthetic

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! Uranus’ blue glow is due to an abundance of methane which filters out red light.

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? Spaghetti carbonara probs! Especially cooked by the best.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I don’t! I did want pastel pink in August.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. I had a paddy fit in primary school because I used to always sabotage my meals so I didn't eat them but I spilt milk on something I legitimately didn’t mind having... I cried over spilt milk.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I do! I write the days events and my feelings, I draw key points or little objects. Not all the time tho.

20: what's your favorite eye color? A nice hazel-y to chocolate amber brown woop

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. A grey Kanken Fjallraven, if Switzerland counts as hell, there you have it.

22: are you a morning person? Yeah! I’m straight too!

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Exactly that, nothing. With a side of music.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Only the one.

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? An abandoned slaughterhouse. Soz vegans

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? Black old skool vans hehe original

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? Strawberry!

28: sunrise or sunset? Why not both in a day?

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? I’m not sure!

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? I’m not sure, close calls/

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I like socks. Weird socks are fun. So are odd ones. I do not sleep with my socks, nor do I confine myself to white sock hell.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. We had deep convos for the time, we probs cried, then probs went to sleep.

33: what's your fave pastry? Uh choux just cause I can remember that is one. Hahahaha.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? I had one called Baxter Bear which was the best, he was quite obviously a bear with a red scarf and his own passport. I threw up on him in the car and he was never the same again, he disappeared short after. Don’t ask about Scrubs the dog.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I do, I just don't use them often.

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? The xx

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? A healthy middle.

38: tell us about your pet peeves! Couldn’t possibly. There’s a fair few.

39: what color do you wear the most? Probably black? Emo ik.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? I own a necklace I got for my 16th its very cute and only comes out when I have heterosexual days to masquerade it. It’s nice.

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? The Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde, it’s my favourite ever. I don’t read as much as I used to, sigh.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! There’s a cute local one. They do unreal Nutella pancakes and its quite central and very aesthetic-y. Yum!

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? My gal, typically on the way to my car where I point out Orion or The Dipper. It’d be nice to do it properly sometime.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Two days ago.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? When I need to.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. Someone mentions a dog, then I normally incorporate the word ‘ruff’ as a homophone for ‘rough’ and get death stares. But I like it.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Gherkins.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Abandonment/loneliness hahahah yes it is.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I do like buying records yeah! I can’t say until April the 23rd but I’ll have bought another by then.

50: what's an odd thing you collect? I don’t think I do have anything odd!

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Uncomfortable by Wallows, as well as Fast Food by D.I.D and many many more.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? The new Patrick one is doing pretty good.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? Nope, nope, nope and nope!

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My dog. I didn't walk him.

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? Hahahah you wouldn’t want to know.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Feeling secure with them, if you get me.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? CAN YOU DO THE FANDANGO!?!?!

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? K is probs the wine mom bc I'd say A but she’s not as sensible, thus A gets the Aunt role.

59: what's your favorite myth? Bulls hate red, they’re actually colour blind lmao.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I don’t mind a bit of poetry! Marking Time by Owen Sheers is noice.

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? Me and mum put a fancy brooch in a pack of digestives for someone. I’ve received stupid spellings of my name on the birthday cards.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Nope

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? Rainbow order woop.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Black.

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? Yep!

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Cutesy and white and blue and stuff idk. But I wouldn't wear one haha.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Serene! Albeit Silent Hill-esque

68: what's winter like where you live? Fun! Cold! Disruptive!

69: what are your favorite board games? The Game of Life/Monopoly/Articulate!

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Nope!

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? English Breakfast, brewed by the girlfriend.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? I've been known to be.

73: what are some of your worst habits? Overthinking. Nail biting.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Ginger.

75: tell us about your pets! A doggo! A beagle! and a fish...

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Revising!

77: pink or yellow lemonade? Yellow

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? anyone in the fanclub needs natural selection to do its thing.

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Surprised me at work with flowers.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? White, because I’d like grey but we haven’t got there yet or painted the house since its still pretty new.

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. I don't have the time for that shit.

82: are/were you good in school? I was! I still think I am! Who knows.

83: what's some of your favorite album art? Smithsmithsmithsmithsmiths

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? Yeah! Quite a few. All tonal, but above all a Venus sign and more importantly the great wave off Kanazawa by Hokusai

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? I don't fun fact I used to read them start to feel sick.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? I feel stupid for not knowing what they are.

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Donnie Darko.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? Not Gothic. Can’t go wrong with a bit of impressionism.

89: are you close to your parents? I think. Depends on the time of day.

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Starts with E, ends in Dinburgh.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? Nowhere abroad really, just a couple of good cities.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? Barely sprinkles, but I have a drowner with me to compensate.

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? Down. Full stop.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My girlfriend’s. mum!

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Work, a party, a Harry Potter film, a sad Sunday.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I leave them for as long as possible

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ENFJ/Pisces/Ravenclaw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? Hah idk.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Nude - Radiohead is the one I’m thinking at the mo’ and I can’t think past that.

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Future. Don’t need to lament on the past when I hope I have a good one ahead of me. Then from there I'd click 5 back so I’m right back to where I am, cheers.

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marvelandponder · 7 years

Photo

I’m a Little Upset They Made Me Excited for Something Called Hascon

But, they did, and over the past two days (and counting! expect an IDW comic panel on Sunday!), they’ve released some spoilers and news that’s pretty damn cool.

No real movie news aside from Hype! It’s coming in 4 weeks! because they didn’t want to reveal too many spoilers for that (although I’m still waiting for Hasbro to step up its marketing game with this one), but aside from that, let’s see what news we got for MLP this weekend [if you want Movie insight, I actually recommend picking up the art book. I just got mine in the mail and WOW is the concept art ever pretty]! This is your spoiler warning if you don’t like that sort of thing.

UPDATED: TONS OF STUFF! Movie Screenshots, more season 8 news, IDW comics, and more!

MLP: The Movie!

Not much in the way of spoilers (you can read the novelization or the art book for those, I guess was their thinking), but have three stills!

Equestria Girls

New outfits, designed by an actual red carpet stylist, Carol Lam, for both the new doll line and the characters in canon

New Youtube series officially announced, and it’s Choose Your Own Adventure style! Expected in November

Shorts to continue, and one has even been teased

youtube

Another one was a “2 minute short about Sunset Shimmer drawing a comic and them animating it... based around [the] girls catching a jewel thief.”

youtube

School play is a concept that’s coming up. Whether in short form, 22 minute special form, or perhaps even movie (although please note there has been no explicit mention of an EG5, so lovers of the movies will have to be patient)

“When asked if there is a Sunset Shimmer doppleganger rolling around, one of the panelists noted that her pet theory is that it was always Sunset's fate to travel to humanland, and there isn't an original Sunset in the world. They are leaving this open in canon though.”

No plans for Discord in EQG at the moment, but who knows?

Find EQD’s report on that here.

Okay, so first off? Loving the new outfits. With any other teenager characters, it would be ridiculous that they’re so well dressed and styled (I noticed Sunset’s hair is juuust slightly different, can’t see the others well enough to tell), but for these girls, it makes sense, since they’re all friends with Rarity.

So, yes, Hasbro. I’ll buy your crazy marketing tactics for now, because cute outfits.

As to the Choose Your Own Adventure series, I think that’ll be interesting, but not quite as cool to me as stuff like the shorts, specials, and movies. Just a matter of personal taste, but the world-building going on in the Overpowered short, for instance, is only really cool if it has a lasting effect on the characters and their world (the report said something about a coal miners daughter wanting to disco, and while that sounds possibly cute, it’s not exactly my cup of tea).

But it’ll be fun to try, no doubt! And definitely cool for younger fans!

The post wasn’t super clear on whether the Choose Your Own Adventure stuff was the only EQG content coming to Youtube (we have been teased about a series, similar to the Hana Zuki show Hasbro has on there already), but until we hear otherwise, assume it’s just the CYOA series.

And a school play theme really does sound like it could be used for a movie or a special, if they wanted to keep doing long-form stories, so that’s what I’m hoping for, personally.

Oh and we still don’t know what these are from/for:

A currently unreleased summertime short, most likely a music video.

A Netflix listing we found out about back in August. This might be the place they feature the specials and shorts, but who knows?

Season 7 News

Clips were shown for next week’s episode, It Isn’t the Mane Thing About You (which might end up being a Pinkie and Rarity episode) and Marks and Recreation

youtube

It Isn’t the Mane Thing About (better clip than the first that was released)

youtube

Marks and Recreation (featuring the last song of the season)

Find EQD’s report on that here.

In addition, have some stills from a promo yet to be released on the rest of the season!

Likely from Secrets and Pies

Likely from A Health of Information

(Not shown: Applejack falling into the party cave) Likely from Secrets and Pies

From It Isn’t the Mane Thing About You

From Once Upon a Zepplin

Likely from A Health of Information

Likely from A Health of Information (mask modelled after Mage Meadowbrook, so this will undoubtedly feature her story in a similar fashion to Daring Done, possibly told by Twilight, from the earlier screenshot)

From Once Upon a Zepplin

From It Isn’t the Mane Thing About You

Additionally, I’ll point out what we know for the season 7 finale: that there’s a tie into the Legends of Magic comics, and it’s called Shadow Play parts 1&2. Whether “shadow” refers to the character Shadowlock from the main comic series or King Sombra or something else entirely, we’ll have to wait and see!

Okay, so the most exciting thing for me is that Vincent Tong, voice of Flash Sentry and Feather Bangs, gets to sing again! As a villain this time! I could make a joke about him embracing the role the fandom has given him this season (Feather Bangs, the waifu stealer, and now Rumble, the antagonist).

Oh and for those who don’t remember, Rumble is Thunderlane’s little brother, who appears in Hurricane Fluttershy. It’s been a while, but he looked cute there.

I wonder if Starlight will have any role in this episode...

The addition of the Cake twins is to Mane Thing also adds hype for me. I’m still on the fence with the episode concept, mostly because I need to see how they’re going to run with it (could be uncomfortable to watch Rares lose her mane if done wrong), but the Cake twins were extremely endearing in Baby Cakes, and it would be nice to see more interaction between them and Pinkie Pie.

This season has been spectacular so far, so I’m glad not too much was spoiled (or you know, leaked...) so we get to enjoy it in full!

Season 8 News

Seaponies confirmed for season 8, the Movie will tie into the show

An animatic was released as well:

youtube

Find EQD’s report here.

SHE RETURNS!

I find it super interesting that Chrysalis is outright ignoring Starlight Glimmer while gathering DNA, given that she swore revenge against her. A large number of fans are speculating that this will be some sort of voodoo plot, where Chrysalis literally turns Starlight’s friends against her, like Starlight did to her.

Not only that, but if you look in the background of that animatic, you’ll find the mane 7 are in a suspiciously new building...

Some have speculated it’s Twilight’s new castle (meaning the crystal castle will get destroyed at the end of season 7, which is alarming because it’s connected to the Tree of Harmony). I feel like it might be more of an addition to her castle, either a school of Twilight’s own (hence, calling the rest of the girls Twilight’s “teachers”) or a house of diplomacy of some kind, like a U.N. building for the different nations that Twilight and company have been befriending (dragons, changelings, griffons, yaks---heck, even Sunset Shimmer could be considered a diplomat from Equestria to the humans).

It’s still a mystery...

Also, sea ponies! And they’re adorable! They translate to show style really well, actually! And it only makes you wonder just how many other things will carry over from the movie....

New info!

Look for a Cheese Sandwhich cameo

G. M. Berrow wrote a Season 8 episode she is super passionate about and her favorite episode overall. Maybe more book tie-ins like in "Daring Done".

Josh Haber's favorite pony is The Great and Probably Going To Be In Season 8 Trixie!

Derpy won't get a featured episode like Episode 100, but she will be around, likely more than season 7.

There will be two-parters, and that's plural, so it sounds like we return to the opening and closing episodes being epic two-parters. So expect You-Know-You that we saw in that animatic to be in one of these!

Things we already know about season 8 that you may have forgotten:

26 episodes confirmed

Orchestra music from the movie to be used in some of the season’s songs, which are all finalized by now

As well, there will be twice as many songs are there are in season 7, since Daniel Ingram’s time won’t be split up between the show and the movie

Discord confirmed

Josh Haber returning as story-editor

Mike Vogel returning finally after working on the movie

IDW Comics

This year’s holiday special!

For those of you who have listened to the Christmas album, that’ll look somewhat familiar...

MLP:FIM #60 Sara Richard cover!

MLP: FIM #61 Cover revealed! A collection of foreign dignitaries, from dragons, to deers, to cats/abyssnians, to gryphons!

“The story is going to be a "united nations" type gathering where all the various creatures throughout the planet convene to discuss the future of the planet. So think a Meeting of the United Nations but with Dragons, Buffalo, Hippogriffs, Anthro Cats, and a pony who controls the sun with a mere thought. Oh but there is a discovery made at the conference that could lead to trouble for our little ponies! A problem that might end up costing Equestria ownership of Canterlot!”

Legends of Magic #9! Seems to be a continuation of Flash Magnus’s previous issue, if the cover is to be believed.

Aaaand a page from Legends of Magic #6! Yes, that’s right, zombie ponies drawn by Andy Price. If 28 Pranks Later wasn’t grim enough for you, surely the master of expressions will deliver!

Find EQD’s report right here!

Year of the Pony

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toast-connoisseur · 5 years

Note

All the "weird asks"

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? -I’m actually obsessed with coffee mugs and tea cups even though I don’t drink coffee nor tea.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? -Chocolate bars

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? -Cotton Candy!

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? -It’s funny because I actually found some of my old report cards recently... they range from “a pleasure to have in class!” to “danger of failing the course” even though my grade for both of those would be an “A” ?

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? -The soda from a bottle from Mexico hits completely different.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? -Personally, I don’t dress like any of those but I am attracted to tomboys.

7. earbuds or headphones? -Depends. Mostly, earbuds.

8. movies or tv shows? -Movies.

9. favorite smell in the summer? -All the seasonal smells from the stores!

10. game you were best at in p.e.? -Softball or tennis.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? -One slice of toast and one egg.

12. name of your favorite playlist? -I made my friend a playlist called “Emo Turn Up” and I like that one a lot.

13. lanyard or key ring? -Key ring, but I have a lanyard because I tend to leave my purse in the car and that way I can just carry my keys around my neck. Also, my lanyard is Nightmare Before Christmas themed, so she’s beautiful.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? -Lollipops, actually lol

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? -Rosemary’s Baby. Although, I kind of got to pick the book for my assignment.

16. most comfortable position to sit in? -One leg is usually elevated while the other has my foot flat on the ground.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? -My Chuck Taylor’s!

18. ideal weather? -I have two technically. I love blue skies with a slight breeze but I also love windy rainy weather.

19. sleeping position? -On my side, on leg curled up and the other straight (kind of like how I sit) while I hold a pillow to my chest.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? -Notebook and post its!

21. obsession from childhood? -Stickers!! Although I never actually stuck them anywhere except on other papers or just left them on their page. I collected them so I didn’t like them getting ugly.

22. role model? -Dita Von Teese!

23. strange habits? -I guess if it’s habit, I probably wouldn’t consider it strange. I do write everything down. Like, everything. I have a list of every movie I’ve ever watched (I had to stop updating it because it was giving me anxiety due to how many movies I watch), I make post it notes that I eventually compile into notebook pages. Any information I never want to lose gets written down somewhere.

24. favorite crystal? Aventurine

25. first song you remember hearing? -It would’ve been something in Spanish. Most likely one of the many songs my mom used to sing to me.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? -Although I rarely get to do it: sitting in the sun/going to the beach or a pool. If it’s warm with a breeze I can lay outside for quite some time.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? -Watch movies on the couch with a blanket over me.

28. five songs to describe you? -Brown Eyed Girl (the original is nice but I love the Reel Big Fish version), Because I’m Awesome (The Dollyrots), Hot Mess (Cobra Starship), I’m Just a Kid (even though I’m almost 25. Simple Plan), Independent (Webbie)

29. best way to bond with you? -Be open and honest. I love talking about books, movies, and music but talk to me about conspiracy theories and ghost stories and you’ll have my heart. I love when people have stories revolving around their culture. I’m Mexican and we have lots of myths and stories to swap so it’s awesome.

30. places that you find sacred? -A person’s bedroom can be sacred. Call me silly but Disneyland is kind of sacred to me. It hold so many wonderful memories. I only like to share certain spots with certain people sometimes.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? -Probably whatever outfit I have on at the moment. I don’t really plan to kick anyone’s ass let alone want to plan a whole outfit for it. I assume leggings and a t shirt will do?

32. top five favorite vines? -omg I miss vine! I was actually going through vines on YouTube recently... The “Miss Keisha” vine always kills me, any vine with Sarah Baska, anything that Zane and Heath ever made, Jay Versace has really funny vines too, and I still quote the “welcome to Chilis” vine constantly. Picking 5 is way too hard.

33. most used phrase in your phone? -“it be like that sometimes” or “yaaaaaaas”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? -The Red Robin commercial and the O’Riley Auto Parts one play in my head on loop at the worst times.

35. average time you fall asleep? -I lay down around 9ish but don’t actually fall asleep until 10PM

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? -That’s way too hard to remember. Probably something I would consider really stupid now.

37. suitcase or duffel bag? -Depends on how long I’ll be away/how many clothes I’ll need. Usually, a suitcase.

38. lemonade or tea? -Lemonade.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? -omg why would you make me pick?! Lemon meringue pie though...

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? -I went to a public high school in LA. We mostly had riots and fights and I stayed away from all of that.

41. last person you texted? -Jayla. I need her to wake up so I can tell her about my dream about Beyoncé.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? -Por que no los dos?! I like buying men’s jean jackets because they have pockets inside though...

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? -Depends. I tend to get cold easily so I usually start with a cardigan but I love jean jackets.

44. favorite scent for soap? -just plain ol clean??

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? -Fantasy

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? -Depends on the weather but usually just shorts and a t shirt.

47. favorite type of cheese? -Mozzarella

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? -Grapes. Sweet and sometimes a little sour lol

49. what saying or quote do you live by? -“Let your imaginarlo run free”. I actually have it tattooed on my right bicep.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? -My friends always get me to laugh really hard. I think the hardest I’ve ever laughed was when my friend tried to say something and she completely botched the sentence so it was pure gibberish and yet I understood her? We just looked at each other and burst into laughter.

51. current stresses? -Work, school, life... the usual??

52. favorite font? -Arial

53. what is the current state of your hands? -I am typing my answers to these questions on my phone...

54. what did you learn from your first job? -I only have infinite patience for kids, not adults.

55. favorite fairy tale? -Used to be Cinderella, but I was never really one for fairy tales tbh

56. favorite tradition? -I don’t actually have any. Never really had anyone to have traditions with.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? -2018 was an entire struggle, car crashes because idiot drivers crashed into mine and totaled mine (TWICE), my entire life as a whole has been a struggle tbh. Every day is one that I try my hardest to overcome.

58. four talents you’re proud of having? -I don’t really consider myself as someone with any talent, let alone four, but... A mathematician once taught me how to divide any number by five in my head, I’m pretty good at mimicking certain accents, idk of this counts as a talent but I can drink quite a bit before I actually feel anything, I can recite certain movies down to what song will play during certain scenes, and I would consider myself the ultimate Disneyland tour guide. That’s five but it’s all I can think of so if one doesn’t sound like one, we have an extra.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? -“Oh shit, here we go again...”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? -I know nothing about anime so I wouldn’t even know. I would want to make a joke about being in the ones that are essentially pornos but I’m probably wrong with that too.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? -“The greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” Idk if the line comes from elsewhere but I first heard it in the movie Moulin Rouge and it has stuck with me since.

62. seven characters you relate to? -Oh geez, I don’t really relate to any tbh but seven characters I like: Princess Tiana, Shane from The L Word, Theo from the Netflix version of A Haunting of Hill House, Satine from Moulin Rouge, Wall-E, Cassandra from Saved!, and The Grinch (as wonderfully played by Jim Carrey)

63. five songs that would play in your club? -Act Up (City Girls), Motivation (Normani), LGBT (Cupcakke), Alcohol (Millionaires, lol), My Type (Saweetie)

64. favorite website from your childhood? -Neopets!

65. any permanent scars? -I have one from when I stuck my hand in a garbage can because I was looking for something and wound up cutting myself on all the glass that had been thrown in. The scar is super tiny and on my pinkie lol

66. favorite flower(s)? -Roses and carnations

67. good luck charms? -I don’t have any anymore.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? -I tried sea urchin once and I swear I can still taste it.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? -All leaves have symmetry (unless tampered with)

70. left or right handed? -I’m right handed but I use my left hand as dominant for a lot of stuff? It’s weird.

71. least favorite pattern? One that isn’t symmetrical.

72. worst subject? -I was once good at math and now I’m horrible.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? -Some think syrup on bacon is gross but I love when the syrup from my pancakes falls on it!

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? -10

75. when did you lose your first tooth? -I have no idea. I lost all my baby teeth early on. I’ll go with 5 or 6...

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? -Can’t go wrong with French Fries!

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? -I recently revived the orchid my boss has on his windowsill and I’m quite proud of that.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? -I don’t drink coffee but I love sushi...

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? -Now, my driver’s license photo. I retook it recently lol

80. earth tones or jewel tones? -Jewel (with a mix of earth?)

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? -There’s a difference? Fireflies, I guess?

82. pc or console? -Console, though I love PC games.

83. writing or drawing? -I’m shit at drawing but I love to doodle. Writing is my favorite though.

84. podcasts or talk radio? -Podcasts

84. barbie or polly pocket? -My childhood nickname is Barbie (my middle name is Barbara) so I only played with Barbies even though I only dressed them because I liked their clothes and then then threw them to the side to play other games.

85. fairy tales or mythology? -Mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes? -Cookies

87. your greatest fear? -Being buried alive.

88. your greatest wish? -To be truly happy.

89. who would you put before everyone else? -My family/close friends.

90. luckiest mistake? -My entire life? I guess it would be taking a job in a field I knew nothing about which led me to learn about said field. I’m now somewhat successful in that field.

91. boxes or bags? -Depends on what I’m carrying but I love boxes. Bags are much easier though... I guess I’ll go with bags.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? -Sunlight/sunset.

93. nicknames? -Barbie, a friend in high school used to call me West Side Story because my first name is Maria, Barbz...

94. favorite season? -Fall

95. favorite app on your phone? -I like IG

96. desktop background? -Wildflowers

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? -5? My friends have changed their numbers before so I remember their old numbers only lol

98. favorite historical era? -I love the fashion of the fashion and cars of the 1940s but I would never want to go back. We’re barely making any progress towards equality as is so going back would not be an option for me.

Thanks for the questions, Anon!💞

0 notes

krakenator · 5 years

Text

CHAPTER 4 aka “Family Feud”

SPOILERS are sprinkled around extremely liberally for The Property of Hate

Masterpost here

Diegesis is uh... huh, it’s basically the “Tell” part of “show don’t tell”. It’s exposition made through dialogue narration. Which is exactly what RGB does this entire chapter, go figure!

Me, earlier: oh! The trees change when they dream! RGB: no. wrong. Its because they’re made of Stuff

*BIG INHALE* BOI

I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE. GODDAMNIT. THE STORM THAT DESTROYED THE FOREST AND EXPANDED THE ELASTIC VALLEY! THE FUCKING NOTHING WAS STRONGER THAN THE TREES, FUUUUUUUUUCK!

uh oh I’m not liking the word “wise” being thrown about after meeting Mystery Butterfly, especially since it’s being used on a page where we get introduced to an agent of Hate

also don’t they get nearly burned to a crisp by a tree like. tomorrow? just sayin’

speaking of that agent of Hate, Dial’s introduction is just a shot of his butt

Dial speech: lower case, pank, and obnoxious lmao

aw man I got all excited for a second thinking the butterfly and Dial had the same font, but nope

what the- how did I not notice Dial saying that RGB was in jail at some point?! “In the clinker for stealing keys” goddammit of COURSE he isn’t supposed to have a key to the ‘real world’. As for who he stole it from? Dial doesn’t capitalize ‘her’ so it might not have been from Hate herself

this just means we’ve missed out on what must have been an INCREDIBLE jailbreak sequence. I’ve got money on the same level of chaos as RGB breaking out into song and launching himself across the Market on the heels of an explosion, if not more

Dial is literally in cahoots with the Enemy but is already better at properly holding Hero than RGB will ever be

I desperately want a RGB vs Dial showdown so the fandom as one can sing-yell “VIDEO KILLED THE RADIO STAR”

oh you motherfucker. MODMAD you have to STOP being LITERAL you’re KILLING ME

Fun fact, the background has been getting darker and darker the last 6 pages or so. It IS getting late. Neat to see the passage of time like that

Fdsgajhh RGB spends the entire Dial encounter with this incredibly fake grin but also bleeding red like nobody’s business

o Although… “hate” is a strong word to be using willy-nilly in this story. RGB hating Dial actually works as neat foreshadowing to Dials True Allegiance kinda??

RGB’s speech tails often loop around things (and get more scribbly/jagged to imply fear or gritting his teeth), but. This panel is just really nice. Lookit weaving in and out between RGB’s legs and Heros arms

I was gonna make a goth joke about sleeping in a graveyard but then I saw that the page with the first shot of said graveyard is page 66. Triple goth

Hey? Hey RGB? Hey? Quick question what’s with the past tense huh? You implying something? Is there something you want to share with the rest of the class?

RGB she’s like 6. Hero didn’t even have a grasp on object permanence not all that long ago

… all I’m getting out of how RGB’s telly function works is that one episode of Rick and Morty where with the TV channels from other dimensions

Pff his hat just falls off. What even keeps it there? Roger Rabbit logic probably

Huh. He doesn’t drool in TV-mode but the moment Hero turns him back to static he starts dripping

… what happens if you drink his static? would your tongue go all buzzy and like an asleep limb?

RGB has body heat, that’s interesting. Or he’s warm like a running machine

Ey you can actually see the moment Hero’s dreams get into his vents. Like dust getting sucked into your computers fans lmao

Alright freaky nightmare sequence

Train tracks, lovely start. Just brimming with potential and good things only

The only clear words we get imply this is taking place on like a movie set or something- y’know, “cut!”

These dream sequences of his are always in black and white. The only other things that are monochrome in this comic (so far) have been Negative-RGB and the train

OH WOW I MISREMEMBERED THIS PAGE ENTIRELY. The previous page made me think “train” and so I guess I just remembered the dream as being hit by a train because thats my personal nightmare?? But NO that’s- that’s the Buster Keaton stunt where the house falls

And RGB is off the mark and about to be squished flat. Death by stunt lmao

THIS JUST IN FOLKS, RGB is literally just the ghost of Buster Keaton, case closed

please note we are not counting this and other dreams to the running “RGB gets fucking rekted” counter

RGB implying that he remembers how he died implies that he was/remembers being human…?

Doge

come watch Hero play with this good good pupper in the next chapter

#tpoh #tpoh time with Gill #the property of hate

0 notes

shrimpkardashian · 5 years

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I am going to post this text which I used to make this 90-minute podcast where I ranked all of David Lynch's films. It’s close to 5,000 words long. Since I took the time to write all this out, I wanted to post it, edited for the page. Enjoy:

David Lynch has created ten feature films in forty years, specifically between 1977 and 2017. I am going to rank all ten films right now.

I’ve broken down the Lynch filmography into four tiers.

Tier #4 consists of two films that, while they’re not necessarily horrible, I’d be OK with never re-watching again.

Tier #3 is Dune, just… Dune… (crickets)

Tier #2 also consists of two movies, two features that are close to being really great, but are ultimately flawed for very different reasons.

And then there’s the Final Tier, Tear #1, ALL-TIME CLASSICS, of which, by my count, there are five. Not bad, considering that equals, oh I don't know... half of his filmography.

You might be wondering what constitutes an ALL-TIME CLASSIC... great question. In my book, it’s a movie that scores a 9.500 or higher on my highly scientific to-the-thousandths scale movie review scoring system. All ten of these feature films have been scored between 5.999 and 9.819. Using the thousandths scale allows for accessible gaps as I slowly fill in the list as I continue to compile my personal ranking of the greatest films ever made (and also... the not so great). I urge you to go to my website www.movies.myameri.ca to see the list of over 200 films that I've reviewed and ranked thus far.

Now, let’s get to the list...

#10

Perhaps, The Elephant Man––David Lynch’s second film, from 1980––doesn’t work for me because you can feel, in a sense, that he’s selling his soul. Sure, it's "good" and was recognized as such in all the ways and by all the metrics that the most mainstream critical pipelines assess and award art that is "good."

It's what I couldn't put my finger on at the time I recorded my initial review, and the truly repulsive thing about it: It's bad in the way these "good" films often are. It feels older than it is: a 1980 film about the 1920s that feels like it was made in the late 50s. It’s stylistic feel is both confusing and confused. The brief intrusions of Lynchian originality are present and welcome, but they’re all too quickly dispersed by stale set pieces, and performances that are either overwrought or stiffly boring. Only Freddie Jones, in the devious role of the elephant man’s original "handler," strikes a cord.

The look and feel of John Hurt’s titular character is effective, because it is grotesque. It is in no way fantastical, even if we’re looking at the height of movie magic, because this person existed. And through this realism, a sickening is induced. With every one of Hurt’s nasally slurps––while that’s surely the point, and it wholly succeeds on that level––the film becomes less re-watchable, a major tenant of my grading scale. Wherein Eraserhead’s baby is pure fantasy––a goofy, disgusting, horrifying little buddy that the viewer wants to spend time with––the Elephant Man is an abomination. Our horror with him, at him, over him, is both the movie proving its thesis, and shutting itself down.

David Lynch is on record as having been pleased with the film, but what amount of that pleasure has been framed by four decades of opportunity in large part because of its success, isn’t clear.

The Elephant Man was nominated for eight Academy Awards. No other David Lynch feature was nominated for more than one. It is his worst film by a wide margin.

It would be easy to dismiss 1999’s The Straight Story as a joke disguised. Here was David Lynch making a relatively, well, "straight" movie about a man named Alvin Straight and it was titled The Straight Story. It was released by Disney. When I rewatched this recently I imagined what the movie might have been like if it had the same plot but, you know, felt Lynchian. What it would be like if the entire film had the tone of my favorite scene, the "I LOVE DEER" scene... but, alas, it isn't that.

The film is just a feel-good story. Sometimes, when you peel back the layers, there's just more goodness hiding underneath, and nothing more. And maybe there's a kind of horror in that as well.

Dune stands alone.

Released in 1984, it's the only film among the ten wherein Lynch didn't have complete final cut. It's, by any classic metric, a bad film. At the end of the documentary Jodorowsky's Dune, which details one of the first attempts at bringing the best selling science fiction book of all-time to the big screen, Alejandro Jodorowsky describes going to see Lynch's version and being filled with a perverse glee that the movie was a failure, that it sucked. And it is definitely a failure.

The film is a god-awful mess. Do not under any circumstances attempt to watch the 3-hour "extended cut" version. Lynch had nothing to do with this and it does not re-insert anything by way of noteworthy lost footage. It merely accentuates the worst elements of the original theatrical cut. The biggest crime by far being... the dreaded voice-over, which plagues both versions.

In 2011, a YouTuber posted a 9-minute super-cut compiling all of these whispered voice-overs, which––if you aren't familiar––are meant to give more clarity to the story by presenting the audience an inside look at "the thoughts" in various characters' heads. But these "thoughts" do exactly the opposite: bogging down the story and actually making it harder to follow (in my opinion).

But even with all of its many, many flaws, the film is not without its charm. The look of it is extremely interesting, if not inconsistent. Some imagery looks dated, while other effects seem ahead of their time. The soundtrack, an amalgamation of Toto's overblown rock aesthetics and a nuanced main theme co-written by Brian Eno, is kind of awesome

But really Dune is just a huge mess of ideas. For example, in one scene the actor Freddie Jones is given a cat with a rat taped to its side, hooked to a contraption, and is told to "milk the cat" if he wants to stay alive. His character is never seen or mentioned again. These are the ideas of Frank Herbert told through the lens of David Lynch and filtered by producers who were so damn concerned whether or not the plot would make sense that they butchered the whole damn thing. What's left are pieces, intriguing pieces strewn about the 2-plus hours.

It would be easy to submit this film as the last place entry, #10 out of 10. But I just can't do that. I would re-watch this under the right circumstances. The strange convergence of wild visuals, bad editing and too-fast, too-big, too-soon nature of the production, puts this in a special category among the Lynch filmography. It almost hits "so bad it's good" notes, in a way. When Denis Villeneuve unleashes his high stakes, huge expectations version of Dune in 2020, David Lynch's third film will likely become nothing more than a footnote.... a grain of sand among the great DUNES of film history, one might say. (Sorry.)

Inland Empire is, technically speaking, the final film of David Lynch's career. Released almost thirteen years ago in 2006, it's certainly the most confounding. Three hours of lo-fi footage, welded together by a director whose contempt for the industry he was a part of had reached a boiling point. And that boiling point is INLAND EMPIRE.

For years, I attempted to watch this film in stops and starts. That, for quite a long time, I never got past the relatively straight, narrative-driven first hour is probably telling. Outside of a classic Grace Zabriskie appearance as Laura Dern's crazy Polish neighbor, not much really happens.

But it isn't so much that nothing is happening that's the issue. It's that nothing interesting is happening. An actress gets a role. Her co-star is a womanizer. Her husband might be jealous. There's some mystery concerning the development of the project. They have an affair. After a burst of imagery at the start, this all unfolds in a fairly normal fashion. The most noteworthy thing about it is how it looks. Lynch used a digital camera to film some ideas with Laura Dern one day and then decided to make a feature film out of it. He's stated that he had to keep using the same camera out of necessity. That he had to make it look this way, is a very Lynchian answer to the question "Why does INLAND EMPIRE look like garbage?" Because it does truly look like trash. You can get better video fidelity from any cheap Android phone nowadays. It has not aged well.

Some might point to this and say that's exactly why it's genius, why it's underrated... but I ain't buying that line of thinking, either. It's a misstep, in my opinion. The film is a bloated experimentation of a script written on the fly. It has only one true saving grace... Laura Dern.

Even if they hadn't reunited for the successful collaboration that was Twin Peaks: The Return, I think I'd be OK with this being the pair's final work together. The film only works because of Dern. The entire thing is a testament to her ability and it transcends the hardware that was used to capture it. When I finally got around to completing this watch, I was struck by how weird it got. Which is saying something about a David Lynch film! Without Dern this might play like someone's forgotten student project of the mid 2000s. With her, it's a strange bookend to an amazing career.

One that I have no other choice but to start, and stop, and start again. Someday.

Wild at Heart was produced at the height of David Lynch's success in 1990. Riding the high of Blue Velvet, arguably his most beloved work in a critical sense, even to this day, and filmed just as the world was experiencing TV’s Twin Peaks. Lynch's fifth movie arrived just as the concept of "Lynchian" was soaking into the cultural landscape. It's a brash, outrageous film that feels like the work of an individual who could no wrong. This cockiness both makes it fun, and provides its flaws.

While there seems to be "a point," however cloudy and/or veiled and/or vague, behind most things in every David Lynch film, Wild at Heart seemingly indulges in bombast for the sake of bombast. It's no surprise this Louis CK's favorite film and the film that nearly gave Roger Ebert a heart attack. (See this video)

I'd like to split the difference between those two sentiments, if I may. I don't agree that Lynch is always trying to "get off the hook" as Roger Ebert put it. But that may be the case with Wild at Heart. That it is the only Lynch film to take the top prize at Cannes, perhaps speaks more to the idea of Lynch and his influence in the culture at the time, then it does to the film itself. CK was right to read this film as a comedy, it's the only way it works. And Ebert was wrong to crucify it for being such. But It stands outside the top tier of Lynch's career for a different reason. With cockiness comes laziness. Lynch notoriously had his hands full during the development of this project, as he abandoned the TV world of Twin Peaks to make it. Wild at Heart feels half-baked as a result.

Sure, it has its moments. Willem DaFoe gets to hang his hat on the mantle of notable, completely over-the-top supporting characters in the Dennis Hopper / Frank Booth tradition. And Nicolas Cage and Diane Ladd are every bit as crazed in their performances as well. And yet, therein lies another problem: the movie has only one speed, out of control. The Sailor-Lula love story is meant to provide the downbeat, something earnest in a sea of chaos. But it falls short. You can't stop to smell the roses if the car never stops.

That half of David Lynch's filmography constitute all time classics is no minor accomplishment. I imagine there are only a handful of directors with a better batting average. And so, the order of these next five films is fairly insignificant. Certainly there are biases at play which have placed them into the positions you find them here. For example, I certainly haven't watched Eraserhead enough and I've probably seen Mulholland Drive too many times by comparison. It's also about timing. Maybe This Moment™ in My Life™ is more fitting for Lost Highway then it is Blue Velvet, for myriad reasons, and so on and so on.

The thing to know is this... These five projects have all stood the test of time, and any one of them is deserved of the top spot. Now, back to the countdown...

Eraserhead was exactly like I thought it would be.

I neglected to watch this film for a very long time. I kept telling myself "Now is the right time to watch Eraserhead, Jeff." What I didn't realize until I finally watched it is that the answer to that question is both never and always.

Eraserhead is a feat of nature. A film that took years to complete feels and flows like it was molded together over a single month. It almost feels silly to expound on the film at this point. It's been dissected to death. Even critics who fail to understand it can appreciate it on the most basic of levels. This. Is. Art. PERIOD. There's no denying that.

Wherein the surrealists who decided to make films couldn't get past the concept of the singular idea, confining their work to shorts OR a series of loosely connected "living paintings," Lynch was able to extrapolate the aesthetic to feature length and also tell a story.

It's soundscape alone is a work of art, and perhaps the most important facet of the film from a historic point of view. This world sounds exactly as it looks: manufactured, fractured, jarring and glum. What brief respite the Lady in the Radiator provides with her haunting, off-kilter serenade is all we get by way of counterpoint to the unnerving soundtrack of Lynch's debut feature. It took Lynch, working in tandem with master sound engineer Alan Splet, nearly a year to complete. From the 1991 book, Midnight Movies:

"The soundtrack is densely layered, including as many as fifteen different sounds played simultaneously using multiple reels. Sounds were created in a variety of ways—for a scene in which a bed slowly dissolves into a pool of liquid, Lynch and Splet inserted a microphone inside a plastic bottle, floated it in a bathtub, and recorded the sound of air blown through the bottle. After being recorded, sounds were further augmented by alterations to their pitch, reverb and frequency."

Lynch's first film is also his shortest, just shy of ninety minutes, and it's hard to find any flaws. Is the detour with the severed head at the pencil factory meaningless? How about the next-door neighbor character... unnecessary? Inside the Top 5, I won't be nitpicking just to do so. In the Top 5, everything is fine.

While I don't necessarily think Blue Velvet is the best film of David Lynch's career, it's hard to argue that it isn't the most important. It is the world from which all subsequent Lynch things are built. Following the creative and commercial disaster of Dune, Lynch's fourth feature is a dark psychological horror that both expands upon and completely blows apart the aesthetic of Film Noir. And there really isn't a single David Lynch film project after Blue Velvet which doesn't also explore this form to a degree.

The movie marks the debut of a pair who would turn out to be lifelong collaborators in the David Lynch cinematic universe: Laura Dern, acting here in one of her first "adult" roles at age 19, and the composer Angelo Badalamenti. Badalamenti would go onto write the scores for every subsequent entry in the filmography except Inland Empire, and his main theme to Blue Velvet remains one of the most memorable.

Blue Velvet is also notable as being a vehicle for Dennis Hopper's re-entry into mainstream cinema. Relaunching his career, Hopper's portrayal of the deranged Frank Booth remains as skin crawling as ever.

I think the fact that I have watched Blue Velvet and Mulholland Drive more than any other of Lynch's films had a lot to do with where I've placed them on this list (that they aren’t higher). But I swear I'm not being contrarian for contrarian's sake. As I said a minute ago, all five of these films are worthy. When it comes to the movies of David Lynch, well, I guess you could say, "....HE PUT HIS DISEASE IN ME." (Sorry.)

The strange origin story of Mulholland Drive somehow eluded me for years. I only found out that this movie, Lynch's ninth, released one month after 9/11, was literally developed and shot with the intention to be a TV pilot for ABC. I found this out from the book, Room to Dream, by the way. The half autobiography/half biography of Lynch's life, which came out last year that I highly recommend. Only when it was clear that it wouldn't work for television did Lynch decide to re-cut and film additional footage to release as a feature. Though this was common knowledge, I managed to watch this many times over the years with no idea. When I rewatched it again recently with this information, I couldn't help but try to pick out what was filmed when in the timeline, and if I could see any inconsistencies... a true hellish way to watch a picture. I don't recommend it. But I digress..

From Blue Velvet on, each one of David Lynch's films (outside of The Straight Story) has had a longer running time. At close to 2½ hours, 2001's Mulholland Drive was his longest to date by a decent margin. It’s something of a misnomer that Lynch's films meander, as people mistake deliberateness for slowness or frivolity. Mulholland is filled with detours, inhabiting the film like micro movies in their own right. This also continues the loose Los Angeles trilogy (after Lost Highway and concluding with Inland Empire), which, at their heart, are films about coming to grips with who you really are. This might be the most direct lampooning of the film industry itself, but all three deal with being someone who you're really not.

Lynch has repeatedly stated his admiration for the 1950 film noir classic Sunset Blvd., another film about the film industry. In some respects, the naïveté of Naomi Watts' Betty is the counterpoint to Norma Desmond. In Mulholland Drive, her character says, "I'd rather be known as a great actress than a movie star. But, you know, sometimes people end up being both." Whereas, Norma Desmond portrayed by Gloria Swanson, has already reckoned with the true fate: "No one ever leaves a star. That's what makes one a star."

The arc of the characters—plural—Betty and Diane, and the power of Naomi Watts' performance as them both, is behind the wheel on Mulholland Drive. I found it odd that she took second billing in the opening credit crawl to co-star Justin Theroux. Was this because she was unknown to the masses at the time, or perhaps another piece of the puzzle to this movie's greater themes?

Mulholland Drive touches all the bases. At times bleak and bizarre. Sometimes bright and hopeful. In many ways, it's modeled after the next film on our countdown, as it can almost be read as two separate entities: converging, crossing and meeting together again? Well...

No film surprised me more during my recent rewatch binge then 1997’s Lost Highway. David Lynch’s seventh film might be his most divisive, in so much as it failed to ignite the critical response that really any of his other films did upon their release.

While it’s industrial rock heavy soundtrack perhaps dates the film to its actual era of production more than any other Lynch picture, it also works as an anchor. Outside of Inland Empire, this is easily his most abstract and seemingly rambling work. It is grounded through style and feel. And it might just be his best singular statement.

Bull Pullman is a revelation as the jazz saxophonist Fred Madison. His chaotic emoting on the stage through his blaring instrument is but another counterpoint, this time to his subdued, confused off-stage demeanor. Who knew the goofy President from Independence Day could pull this off?

My critique of Patricia Arquette in many of her other roles is that she comes across as lifeless. Well, with her performance here as a dead-on-the-inside beauty, that mode has never played better. She's tremendous, acting the conduit in this strange play, this circuitous journey that is often described as a theatrical möbius strip, where our leading man has quite literally been replaced.

And that brings up another interesting point: There doesn't seem to be a traditional main character in this film. Arquette in her dual role as Renee and Alice is functionally it, but she gives way to Pullman and Balthazar Getty's Pullman––a car mechanic named Pete––for long stretches, and its Lynch's most diplomatic film in terms of dolling out the heavy lifting in this regard.

And last but not least we have to talk about... Robert Blake.

In a sea of outstanding, intensely weird and occasionally unforgettable supporting characters throughout the Lynch filmography, Blake’s Mystery Man might just take the cake. That Robert Blake, more than likely an actual sociopath, instructed Lynch on his character’s look––which, let me remind you was such: Blake decided to cut his hair cut extremely short, parted in the middle, white Kabuki make-up on his face, and an all black outfit––might be the best example of the auteur trusting his instincts, and having it pay off completely. Only on screen for a handful of scenes, Blake, who would be arrested and acquitted for the murder of his wife just a couple years later, delivers a truly unsettling performance. In his final film role ever, he encompasses true evil more than Twin Peaks’ BOB or Frank Booth in Blue Velvet. The Mystery Man is the lurking, vile corruption of what’s good that Lynch has always been looking for.

But Lost Highway is not a “what’s beneath the surface” film like Blue Velvet or Twin Peaks or even Mulholland Drive are. The “point” of Lost Highway might just be that evil exists in plain view... and there’s nothing we can do about it. Gary Busey sometimes has to watch his only child disappear in a lightning bolt of spoiled meat and that’s that. When they reappear, broken and struggling, and falling down the same path until it happens again, well... that’s just life.

One of my favorite parts of the entire movie is a scene early on when a detective asks Fred Madison if he owns a videocamera. His wife, Renee Madison, portrayed by Patricia Arquette, responds, "no, Fred hates them." Fred responds, "I like to remember things my own way." The detective asks, "what do you mean by that?" Bill Pullman, as Fred Madison, replies, "how I remember them. Not exactly the way that they happened."

(DISCLAIMER: I’m sorry if you think it’s cheating that I am including the expanded Twin Peaks Universe as one single entry on this list. I’m sorry if you think the only thing that should count is Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me because that is the only Twin Peaks thing that is actually a “feature film.” But also: SORRY NOT SORRY.

This is my list and I’m putting Twin Peaks at #1, specifically: all of Season 1 of the original TV show, plus the beginning of Season 2 (until the episode where we find out who killed Laura Palmer) and the Season 2 finale. Then of course Fire Walk with Me, and the 18 hour MOVIE that is Twin Peaks: The Return, or Twin Peaks Season 3, if you will (I prefer the former as it gives the masterpiece the gravitas it deserves).

If you put a gun to my head and I ABSOLUTELY had to only include Fire Walk with Me, I would probably drop it to #4 or #5 and slide everything else on the list up a spot. End of DISCLAIMER.)

I was given the Twin Peaks Gold Box as a Christmas gift in 2007. The 10-DVD set had just come out and this was still an era when people treasured physical things like that. It was really important and meaningful to me, and I still own it despite no longer having a DVD player. Watching it for the first time was a treasure and a fond memory. The feeling I got when I heard that Badalamenti theme music start the show and everything in between...

...yes, even James in Season 2. I loved it all: the good, the bad and the ugly, the whole kitten caboodle. The original TV series is, obviously, far from flawless. Lynch stepped away for long stretches before going fully AWOL after it was revealed that Laura Palmer's father, portrayed by the great Ray Wise, is in fact her killer. After that, the show took a turn (to put it lightly).

But Lynch never gave up on the world. He returned to helm the stunning Season 2/de facto series finale. So much of the mythology that Fire Walk with Me and certainly The Return is built upon is ignited in that finale, fittingly titled "Beyond Life and Death." But really, the original series is most notable for merely existing at all. A precursor to the "golden age of television" that was right around the corner, there still hasn't been a network series remotely this daring. There's often much made, too much if you ask me, about the "cult of David Lynch." Critics of this “cult” say its followers are blind: The man can do no wrong. It's weird for weirdness' sake. And so on, they drone. Now, I'm a fairly big David Lynch fan (no duh). But I've always tried to remain grounded in regards to this. He's not perfect. But he has made near-perfect art. And I'm a fan of ART first. A practicer of admiration? Maybe some distant second, third, fourth or beyond. I see his infiltration of the masses with Twin Peaks as one of his finest achievements in the arts. How many powerful people had to be convinced that the mainstream was ready for something like this. It's baffling. That, of course, they weren't ready is kind of besides the point. Someone has to poke the bear.

If Lynch had closed the books on Twin Peaks with Fire Walk with Me, his sixth film released in 1992, that would have been fine. It's a polarizing feature and was a fairly significant box office bomb, even for Lynch. Fire Walk with Me nonetheless retains an otherworldliness among the filmography. Given the subject matter––you know, just your average super-violent father-daughter incest rape thing––it's hard to argue this isn't his darkest tale by a wide degree. It's perhaps not ripe for repeated viewings. In fact, I did not rewatch it for this review, the only film of the ten. Why? Well, I had given it a replay back in 2017, just before the debut of Showtime's Twin Peaks: The Return. And, to be honest, I just wasn't ready to return to this madness quite so soon.

Only David Lynch could mold one of the loftier aspects/thematic devices/main characters (?) of the long-awaited follow-up to perhaps his most beloved work on one of the most random, seemingly meaningless, toss-away lines spoken in a bad Cajun accent in a cameo role by David Bowie. "We're not going to talk about Judy at all..." Until, that is, the time is right... Say... 25 years later?

I just recently began to rewatch The Return and I'd like to say thank you for this, David Lynch. This needs to be put into the discussion with his greatest work, if it's not already there. I can recall after various episodes of its original run (May to September 2017), feeling a sense of awe and wonderment and confusion and joy. I say to anyone that's curious that this is an 18-hour movie. David Lynch made an 18-hour movie when it wasn't certain if he'd make any more movies again.

It would be dumb, if not downright foolish, to try and hash out the plot-lines or gush over Kyle MacLachlan's performance in not two, but three distinct roles. Here, the duality of man has fractured yet again in these modern times. And when I got to that final two-hour finale, I found myself on a family vacation. So I carved out a block of time to watch it at the house we were renting on my laptop, alone, in the dark, as the rest of my family enjoyed a sunny day at the beach. I filed Kyle and Laura Dern's Diane into one more sketchy motel and then onto El Paso, Texas, of course, just as everyone had guessed, and then back to Twin Peaks, Washington, where the series ends on a question... Special Agent Dale Cooper turns to Laura Palmer outside her childhood home and asks, "what year is this?" She screams into the abyss and the lights in the home spark off and the screen explodes into darkness. For a series that was, ultimately, about the passing of time as much as it was about the origins of evil in the universe or anything else, it was a fitting end.

#movies

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silkyandsurveys · 7 years

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July 28 2017

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More milk than cereal 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Yes I love winter 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? I just fold the page 4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I don't take it at all 5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yes I'm super self conscious of my smile I used to not be until people started pointing it out 6: do you keep plants? No cause they die really easily 7: do you name your plants? No 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I write in a journal 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? I love singing so much I wish I was good at it more than anything lol 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Back and side always 11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? To many to list or count 12: what's your favorite planet? Neptune and Uranus ;) 13: what's something that made you smile today? I hung out with one of my sisters friends and we always have a good time 14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? MESS 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! No 16: what's your favorite pasta dish? Chicken alfredo always and forever 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? Purple would be so cool 18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. Me and my two very close best friends decided to make slime and throw it at my ceiling and pieces of it are forever stuck to my ceiling. Me and my friend were peeing our pants everywhere 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I keep notebooks around that I randomly and rarely write and draw in but I have a notebook app that I frequently write in. Just about my day or my week 20: what's your favorite eye color? brown and hazel like yesss they're so pretty 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. Can't say I have one 22: are you a morning person? Noooooo 23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Lay in my bed and go on my phone 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Yeah kinda 25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? A car at a car dealership lmao 26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? I used to be obsessed with toms but currently my converse 27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? Watermelon forever bitch 28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset of course 29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? She's really really smiley and I pick at her for it but it's actually really nice 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Yes 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. Socks are make or break situation. 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. Spent 3 hours making a video star to its everyday bro by Jake Paul. All the words are engraved into my brain 33: what's your fave pastry? Cheese danish bitch 34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? Lamb pillow pet. Named lamby. Just look up lamb pillow pet but the fur on it is all fucked yo because my mom put it in the dryer. And yes I still have it 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? No 36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? None my brain is literally white noise right now I'm so tired 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean 38: tell us about your pet peeves! There's so many I'm not abot to get into that mess 39: what color do you wear the most? Dark colors for sure 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? I have a necklace with my name on it. Got it from my grandma I wore it a lot in seventh grade aka one of the worst years ever 41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? Elenor and park 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! No because I hate coffee and I'm not a hashtag Tumblr aesthetic girl so I don't go running around trying to find aesthetic coffee shopsn 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? I legit don't remember 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Probably at night in a car when I was like 10 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Yes 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. Ok found this joke from a vine don't @ me. Anal with her made my day. But it made her hole week. Bitch I die 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Twinkies. Beef sticks. Tomatoes. Mushrooms. 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Car crashes. Thunderstorms/ natural disasters. And yes 100% 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? No it's dumb I pay Apple Music 14$ a month for a reason 50: what's an odd thing you collect? I used to collect snow gloves but for some reason and somehow I have a lot of turtles from a bunch of different places. Like little turtle souvenirs 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? My crush and it's so dumb but hey Stephen by Taylor swift damn. 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? All of them 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? No.no.yes.no. Idk I haven't seen like any of them 54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? Ummmmm my face in the mirror idk 55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? Ummm not sure everything I do is dramatic so 56: what are some things you find endearing in people? It's 1am and I can't remember what endearing means 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? It reminds me of glee. And ps I didn't listen to it just in my head I imagine Jessie sprinting around stage whilst Quinn gives birth so that's an image 58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? My friend abby is the vodka aunt and my friend julia is the wine mom 59: what's your favorite myth? Mermaids 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? No 61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? Little einsteins singing toy when I was 9 years old from m great grandma. Lol love! 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? No 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? No I own like 4 books 64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Black 65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? Yeah some friends from school I miss 66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Ew shut up (roses) 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Sad and gross 68: what's winter like where you live? Brutal but I <3 it 69: what are your favorite board games? Uno and spoons and don't come at me saying they're not board games because I don't care 70: have you ever used a ouija board? No im not about to release that shit in my home 71: what's your favorite kind of tea? I don't like tea but if I had to choose sweet passion green tea from Panera fucks major shit up 72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? No 73: what are some of your worst habits? Biting my nails. Chewing the inside of my gum and picking at the skin on my thumbs 74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Awesomely cool dude 75: tell us about your pets! Annoying but cute sometimes I guess 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Sleeping 77: pink or yellow lemonade? Pink always 78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? Hateclub I would say j always have been but I'm gonna be honest and expose myself for wearing a minion shirt to school in fifth grade. Soo. 79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Ummm not sure 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Dark purple. No I did not. I wanted lilac but since I'm the younger sister I don't get to choose 81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Ocean 82: are/were you good in school? Yeah 83: what's some of your favorite album art? Ummm the flower boy album that just came out is really cool 84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? Eh they seem cool and I like them but I feel like trendy tattoos are the most regretful 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? No 86: do you like concept albums? which ones? Yeah. Not any in specific 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Cuberbully lmao it's kinda cringey but it's so good and hatchi because that shit has made me hyperventilate. Omg and titanic 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? ???? Again 1:30 am brain doesn't understand 89: are you close to your parents? Yeah 90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I love philly don't get mad at me for loving trash 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? My home and my school 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? GIVE ME ALL THE CHEESE 93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? just done or in a ponytail 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? The boy I like lol 95: what are your plans for this weekend? Well I hope it's to hang out with my friends but work is a stupid bitch 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? Procrastinate 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Idk off the top of my head. Aquarius. I think gryffindor 98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? For a school field trip and no becaue I was sweating and dying 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. I won't mind by zayn <3 that song because it explains my whole life that literally any body I like will not be mine ever! 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years in the future maybe?

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neen-writes · 7 years

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Iron Legends: Reforged -- Chapter 8

Series: Fairy Tail

Characters: Gajeel, Levy, plus appearances from Natsu and Lucy.

Genre: Hurt/comfort, Sci-fi

Summary: The old lab had always been fuel for a good story, something you would half-heartedly joke about going to sometime. Some did, and when they came back they never talked about it again. The legends circulated, telling of ghosts, monsters, and anything else someone would be likely to conjure up about an abandoned building. But even with all the stories meant to keep everyone away, there are still those for whom the intrigue is too tempting.

Note: Here is the next chapter! Anyone that’s read the original will notice that I have pretty much changed and rearranged the WHOLE thing! And, a detail that might be of interest...I combined half of the next chapter(Dawn’s Intermission) with the end of this one. And I still intend to keep this fic at 20 chapters total... ;]

Read the Reforged chapters on FF.net here!

And read the entire original story here!!

AND find this fic’s soundtrack here!

Ch. 1 Ch. 2 Ch. 3 Ch. 4 Ch. 5 Ch. 6 Ch. 7

It had been more than a week since Halloween, and the last time since she had seen her dragon.

The first day after Halloween was difficult. She had been so spaced that multiple times customers had to try more than once to get her attention, and she hardly got anything done. When she got home that evening she was exhausted, but her thoughts kept her awake for most of the night.

The following days got easier only in the aspect of being able to keep herself occupied and distracted. Her efforts to decipher how she felt, however, had made no progress. The shadow that had terrorized she and her friends, and who was so unearthly, had gone from all of that to the vulnerable figure on her couch. Listening to her read to him. She had trusted him enough to fall asleep, and that sudden change happened quickly enough to leave her with emotional whiplash. To which there was no closure as he was gone when she awoke.

Consequently, her productivity after that first day was better than it had ever been, and with her short stint off work she had been more than willing to pick up shifts for the people that had to cover her. After all, it was only fair, and it also kept her there from open to close. Which wasn’t awful; the constant activity and steady flow of tasks did wonders to keep her thoughts on one track for the majority of the day. Still, when she wasn’t working, she expected him to show up any minute. With no luck.

Levy chalked it up to the snow flurries that had started on the 2nd, slowly dusting their surroundings with a soft white. It was certainly what kept her from going back herself; the small blunette was not really fit to be trekking through the woods in the snow by herself. That, along with her increased hours at work: there wasn’t any real time for her to go. Excuses… she would scold herself every now and again, and then wonder why she felt so obligated to see him. So she coped by pushing it all onto him, waiting for him to show. Wondering why he hadn’t. Or wondering he had when she wasn’t home, which only made her feel worse.

Lucy had been over a couple other nights to watch movies and drink hot cocoa: a little tradition of theirs every time the weather turned. Levy wasn’t a huge fan of the cold, but Crop-Top-Lucy was even less so. The whole tradition involved Lucy cocooned in a blanket with an angry puff to her cheeks. It was how she coped. The thought made Levy laugh to herself, wondering every year how Lucy survived the winters when 90% of her attire was shorts, skirts, bandeaus, and crop tops. The girl fed on sunlight and warmth.

For Levy, however, it was near torture trying to act normally. Her best friend was the one that she was supposed to be venting to about silly feelings stuff. Lucy ate that up, especially if it involved boys. And especially if it involved boys that Levy might be confused about. Even if she didn’t think it was anything like that. But what am I supposed to say? ‘Hey remember that scary guy in the dark that made you pee your pants? Yeah he seems like he’s interested in me and I don’t know how I feel about him. Just ignore the first part.’ She grimaced and threw her head back in defeat. Why is this so complicated! Why couldn’t this just be easy?

The pervasive thought that he might try to come when she wasn’t there wouldn’t leave her. It circled in her head while waking and asleep, and it pained her to imagine his disappointment. Two mornings ago, Levy took the time to pull out a long coat from the master closet and a thick scarf, setting it out on the bed. She took a sheet of paper and, wanting to be vague just in case, only wrote “keep warm,” and left the sliding doors unlocked. When she returned that night, the clothes and the note were gone. And something striking was in its place.

A worn, damaged notebook. The black, partially detached cover had no identifiers. Inside, pages were torn or burnt, and some were ripped out entirely. But there were several pages that were preserved clearly, and she had spent nearly the entire night poring through it, trying to make sense of it. And understand why he left it for her. In a way it seemed fitting, communication wasn’t necessarily his strong suit. It warmed her that he wanted her to have it, that it was his way of opening who he was in the safest way possible. Levy still couldn’t help being disappointed that he didn’t stay, or give it to her directly.

What she had begun to uncover inside kept the notebook nearly attached at her hip; both from wanting every second to interpret what was inside, but also for fear of anyone else seeing it. More than that, it pained her terribly to know what she did now; to have some of the questions answered that she had wanted so much to ask and she was so relieved that he chose to do it in this way.

The day following the appearance of the notebook she had off work, and she spent it still going cover to cover. It was midday when she couldn’t take being boxed in with her thoughts anymore, waiting for a tap on the back doors. Levy packed the notebook into her purse, bundled up, and headed out. The way to the library was memorized for the bookworm, and on a cold day like today, she was counting on not many people being there.

Thankfully she was right on that regard, and she quickly went to the farthest back computer she could find. With a cautionary glance around her, she candidly pulled the book from her bag and opened it straight to a page she had marked last night. Levy’s brows knit together in concentration.

December 15, 2010

X777 continues to resist the treatments and refuses to succumb as the other subjects have after the first failed conversion. He seems to wish, to think he has the option to exit the study. Tragic. He has responded much more… poorly to containment than the others. Although infuriating, I would be remiss to not note his perceptiveness to our methods. X777 caught on nearly immediately to our containment protocols, faster even than others of similar… volatility. Keeping him within the facility was initially a challenge that we overcame thanks largely to what we learned with X761. We are still trying to replace staff from this incident. Good hands are so difficult to come by.

The conditioning process has taken extraordinarily longer and it severely hinders our progress. He displays incredible potential for full conversion but the indignant fire will not go out and any partial conversions thus far have been unstable due to fractious temperament.

There is promise in other methods. Deprivation of course shows much effectivity in trials with canines. I have much hope in applying this and will modify his treatment plan accordingly.

Her stomach twisted painfully upon reading the words again. She knew he couldn’t have fully consented to the experiments, but to realize they had been trapped there was almost as difficult as reading such a cold account of it all.

January 19, 2011

Isolation protocols have made a much more pliable subject of X777. The fire is not yet extinguished but I can see the resignation, I am thrilled by our progress; we have been able to to increase the dosing significantly, and reached nearly 65% conversion.

It was magnificent. I have seen nothing like it and it was not yet even a total success. Before conversion he is a coarse, intimidating man. With it, he only becomes astronomically more so. If we can mold him to control it...

It is unprecedented to have gotten this far and for the subject to have survived the process. He has, however sustained damage that will require us to unfortunately halt sessions for several days. I am advised that should we dose him again and push infusions sooner we may lose him entirely. I am loath to slow our progress, but it can’t be helped. Despite his cooperative shortcomings, he is far too much an asset to allow to be burn out like the others. Too promising.

The data recorded today will be invaluable to future subjects at Jupiter. I have high hopes for field testing in the foreseeable future once we have reached this level with more patients. I would very much like to place him with X772 once we reach controllable conversions. Their dispositions seem to complement one another in a way that’s most intriguing. I had initially thought that X761 might be a more spectacular match due to their similarities, however the unpredictability of both of the most conditioning-resistant patients seemed too much like introducing flame to fuel. A liability I’m not willing to toy with this early. Does it not make more sense for the brute to face the quiet manipulator?

Initially upon reading, the guilt and pity had pushed her to tears multiple times. This time around, she only felt anger towards the faceless author. Levy flipped to another page,

May 25, 2011

X777 is the beacon for this project. He is entirely unparalleled, and what we have been seeking. All those street rats that came and fell before him were but mortar for the path to get to where we are today.

For a brief time, we had full conversion, and he is the first, with 761 close on his heels. The infusion took hold as it was designed, and we had him. There, in that moment, I understood fully what we are creating; what he have created. Through the glass, he turned his eyes to me. Framed with iron, yet still pliable enough to twist into a beastly snarl. His composition defies everything we know of matter. He could not see me, yet he locked my gaze and I felt my skin crawl, my heart trip like prey gazing into the maw of its predator. Such a curious, primal response, yet it lit the bulb of inspiration.

The potential here, the applications there could be for such raw power… X777’s success will fund Jupiter for years to come. We are the pioneers to this field, and I the sole captain. Based on his data alone, we may race forward with conversions for the others. The manners in which each individual express the lacrima infusions are incredibly novel, even with the partial converts. As we have seen with X777, his affinity appears to be solid iron. Yet X772 draws the dark from the corners of his cell, and weaves it like smoke about his fingertips. His brother, incredibly, does the opposite. X761… well his matches his thunderous will.

Yet, I get so far ahead of myself. These milestones harald the need for another meet with our benefactors. We may very well have their first shipment far ahead of schedule.

The entries only went as far as the fall of 2011, leaving her to suspect that there were many more books that chronicled the duration of the experiments, and this was one of the earlier accounts of the process.

The blunette turned her attention now to the computer after checking her privacy one more time. I never actually…tried to dig into the place more. I just went off what people had said when we decided to go there. It was all ghost stories and legend, she thought, pulling up the library database and going straight for the news archives. What do I even search, she wondered, trying to recall details from anything Gajeel had told her, before counting something out on her fingers.

After a minute, she went to refine her search, narrowing results to 2012 and just typing the word “laboratory” into the keyword field. 684 results. That’s not helpful. A frown stretched the corners of her mouth slightly, and she glanced to the book again. I need a better keyword. After a few more moments, the girl remembered a term she had seen multiple times in the book. Initially, she didn’t know what it meant until she had seen it in context enough to figure it was the title for something. Either the project or the entire facility itself.

Erasing her previous search, she typed in a new term: Jupiter.

Only a handful of results came up this time. A few vague articles, but the most recent one was the one she was looking for: ‘Jupiter Technology Closes After Incident.’

Incident? Levy tilted her head in confusion. The article was as vague as she could expect… but after delving into the story, she realized she had been mistaken on why they were closed. Yes, the lab closed permanently because of what was found, but that wasn’t what catalyzed the process. The article talked about significant damage done to the facility on the night of September 7th, 2012.

‘Seven casualties were identified after the incident. Among the casualties were Jupiter Technology CEO, and several researchers on staff. Rumors are circulating of military involvement, but nothing can be confirmed at this time. Remaining staff of the facility, including head of technological development, Dr. Porla, could not be located or contacted for comment. As of this time, there has been total dissolution of the company in the wake of catastrophic damages and the halt of all funding in order to investigate the nature of the facility’s work.’

Levy’s heart sank. No mention of any of the subjects at the lab…

The sound of footsteps heading her way caused Levy to quickly close the window and stuff the book away. A glance over her shoulder just showed the librarian making her rounds with the book cart. She sighed and placed her face in her hands, feeling the strain of such focus and the lack of sleep catching up to her. Levy checked the time, before deciding it was time for her to leave, and be where she could really think about what she had uncovered. Did Gajeel… A shudder ran through her at the thought, and her imagination conjured an image of her dragon in a rage, of people falling before him…

Levy shook her head violently, allowing the cold air to berate her for thinking of such a thing. The next thought was regarding what she read. And her stomach sunk again. What they did to him. What he must have endured… It was so much worse than she could have imagined, and she had the most difficulty understanding why. And more than that, trying to understand why he would ever trust her or come near her.

More than before she found herself giving in to the hope that he might come see her again, so she could stop bursting at the seams with all this information. But, she found her home as quiet and empty as she left it. A heavy sigh moved her shoulders and she shook her head again, knowing she had no right to expect him to return on her schedule. If she wanted to see him, she would need to wait. Even if the snow had not been a factor, at this point it was his decision to return to see her. He’d been robbed of choice so much already, she owed him that much at least.

“Thank you! Come back soon.” Levy flashed a bright, customer service smile at the patron was headed out the door with their new books. The jingle of the door closing finalized their exit, and she set about closing up the store for the day. It was the day after her library investigation, and though she had finally gotten sleep, all her thoughts were plagued with the ominous headline.

Every time she drifted into her dreams last night, she started with seeing him, wrought with his torment. She would try to reach him, help him, but every time it would devolve back into fiery eyes surrounded by flames. To raven locks entwisted, stormy. The destruction was deafening, and try as she might, she could never reach or escape the image. Multiple times it jerked her awake into a cold sweat, gasping for air. Her eyes would dart around her dark room before settling on her window, staring out into the moonlight white. She couldn’t see anything, but each time her gut told her something was out there.

Cerulean locks danced with a quick shake of her head, trying to return to the present. As Levy finished cleaning up the store and locking up, she made certain that the notebook was tucked securely into her bag. Even after poring over every word and nearly memorizing it back to front, she didn’t want to leave it unattended.

She shrunk into her coat as the cold air bit at her cheeks and flushed them while she locked the front door to the shop. If she wasn’t afraid of busting her butt, she would have run straight home to get out of the cold sooner, which was only getting worse as the daylight slowly died out. With the sharp edge to the wind, she guessed a storm would be moving in overnight.

Her eyes fixed on her feet to watch her hurried but careful steps, which kept her eyes off the path in front of her. And sent the blunette crashing right into someone and knocking her bag out of her hands into the snow. “Shoot!” I’m so sorry,” she burst, quickly stooping down to gather her things.

“It’s fine, miss,” a smooth male voice answered, and before she could grab the one item most important, he beat her to it. Nimble fingers grasped the worn notebook and lifted it from the snow, turning so slightly in his grip that she almost missed it. Her stomach dropped, but all he did was hand it to her, and get up wordlessly to continue on his way.

“Ah, th-thanks!” Levy called after him, but he was already gone. She sat there a moment staring in the direction he had gone before she, slowly rearranged her belongings into her bag. Levy carefully got back up to her feet, shivered, and kept on her way home.

The yellow glow of her street was a welcome sight, and she warmed herself thinking about the heat inside her home. Numb fingers struggled to open her front door, and once inside she made a beeline straight for her thermostat to turn on the heat. She slipped out of her coat, hung it on a hook by the door and kicked off her boots. Levy flipped on the lights on her way to the fireplace, and picked up some small logs stacked by the mantle to toss in before starting up the fire. The warmth was more than welcome and brought the sensation back into her fingers.

With a relaxed smile on her face, Levy went to plug in her phone to a set of speakers and turned on some soft music. A hum rose in her to accompany the melody as she set about warming up some soup she had made the night before; she needed something to ease her nerves. While waiting for the food to be ready, she wandered into her room to change out of her work clothes and into warm, pale yellow pajamas. Levy pulled her yellow headband from her hair and ruffled it a little.

The chime of the microwave brought her back out into the kitchen. She had just set the bowl on the small kitchen table, when a sharp tap at the window nearly shook her out of her skin as she threw her spoon across the room. So much for that. She swung her panicked gaze to the double doors, and connected with the ruby gaze.

“Gajeel!” she gasped, catching sight of the very amused man outside. She rushed over to the doors in the kitchen and pulled them open, “Get in here! You’ll let all the heat out,” she urged as he stepped in, covered in flakes, and quickly shut the doors again.

Much to her dismay he shook himself out, scattering snow all over her kitchen. “You’re a hard one to catch alone these days,” he remarked, ignoring her displeasure at the shed of flurries, ”also nice toss,” He commented with a cock of his head to the spoon now on the floor. An embarrassed grumble escaped her as she rushed to pick up the utensil and wipe it off with her shirt, and to also hide the small red tinge in her cheeks. The jovial, familiar attitude was not what she had expected, and it made it even clearer that there had been a tangible shift in their interactions with one another. Also unexpected, was the fact he appeared to her as himself, as flesh. Not iron.

His red eyes swept over her, taking in the small girl and her attire. He tried to refine the details of his memory, having distanced himself from the real thing. Fuckin’ hell, I can’t look away. How did I even last this long, he thought, his gaze lingering on her face. On her gentle brown eyes, on the flush of her cheeks.

“That’s your fault. Stupid,” she muttered, but she couldn’t help smiling at the black coat and the red scarf that was wrapped around his head to keep his hair back. He looked comfortable, and her responsibility for that was warming. But more noticeable, was that he hadn’t changed. He stood before her just as himself, not as the iron dragon that had invaded her thoughts menacingly in the dark. Guilt pricked sharply in her chest for what her imagination had done, and she shoved it away.

The dragon quickly made himself at home and pulled out a chair, straddling it backwards and crossing his arms over the back. “Where ya been?” he asked now, softer. Levy felt her cheeks warm and a flutter in her stomach.

“I could ask you the same thing,” she replied with an arched brow. He quickly averted his gaze to the side with a slight, guilty grimace, and she immediately felt bad for asking. “I’ve been working,” Levy added, trying to pull the focus back to herself.

Gajeel grimaced and huffed, resting his hands and chin on the back of the chair. “What’re you doin’ that for.”

She couldn’t help but laugh, and turned to scoop an extra bowl of soup without really thinking about it. “Cause I have to, silly,” she responded, setting the bowl in front of him before she took her own seat next to him at the table. “It’s terrible out there, why’d you come out in weather like this?” Levy asked, blowing on a spoonful of soup. Gajeel had glanced curiously at his bowl and sniffed before he took his own bite. The warm food, the crackling fire, the gentle music in the background, and the enthralling creature next to him were all incredibly domestic. Where, along the line, did I end up deserving something like this?

“I wanted to see ya,” he mumbled after swallowing his mouthful. It’s too damn exhaustin’ to not say it. What I got to lose? he thought, studying her face, Well…that’s a stupid question. Her, obviously. But I can’t be anything but honest to a face like that.

To his delight, Levy’s face flushed again and her soup suddenly became the most interesting thing in the room. “Oh,” she responded, scarfing down another mouthful. She had expected a level of novel curiosity from him regarding a world that had cast him out, but she didn’t quite expect him to so outwardly admit that she was his reason to come back.

“I, I tried,” Gajeel struggled with the words, trying to justify his own absence, But in reality, he couldn’t come up with a reason other than the fact he was afraid to return. That night and what he had felt stirring in his chest frankly startled him away from the bewitching little fairy. He’d made it several days through one-sided conversations with his little black cat, but eventually his resolve cracked. He remembered perfectly clearly the paths his thoughts took that day as he ventured to the 2nd floor for her and retrieved one of the foul-smelling, terrible books from his office. Or what remained of it. Gajeel had been overwhelmingly compelled to do something he’d never imagine, but he felt he needed to give her a piece of the truth. She’s seen him, but she hadn’t known him yet. Much as he hated it, what had been done to him was all he had to offer in terms of his identity. He had no stories of his youth, no memories, nothing to give her. Only part of the notes that chronicled his beginnings into this life.

Gajeel stole away to her home, ready to hand the book to her and allow her to see. He remembered feeling exhilarated, and absolutely terrified that the doors were left open for him. But upon coming inside, he knew right away she wasn’t there. The house was silent; still. Disappointment twisted his stomach, but when he saw the clothing she left for him, hope renewed. In that moment, he felt absolute relief that a safer option had presented itself to him, and he left the notebook in place of the clothes. He resolved then to make himself wait before trying to meet her again, unsure how Levy would take the information. He needed to give her time to absorb it.

The dragon moved a little in his seat. “You…read it right?” he asked tentatively. It was the elephant in the room and he wanted to get it out of the way.

Levy stopped and stared at the table, before nodding, “Yeah.”

The flat tone left Gajeel feeling incredibly nervous. She had let him inside, sat comfortably next to him, but she wasn’t looking at him. His stomach sunk, and the dark, self loathing voices swirled in his head, working quickly to convince him that she would turn him away.

“I read it,” she said, and looked to him then. “X777 was you?”

He grit his teeth and tensed his shoulders, looking away from her now. It was strangely painful to hear the classification coming from her, even if he knew how she meant it. “Yes,” he responded, keeping his gaze on the table. What should he say? What could he? Are you going to run? Will you send me away? Expose me?

The silence was suffocating, constricting even. He felt his chest tighten so much that he felt the only possible relief was to leave again. The lack of words from her felt like just as much an answer as any, and it was all he needed. Wordlessly, he moved suddenly in his chair to go.

Something stopped him. Gajeel heard her shift, heard the chair slide on the hardwood floor, and he had just turned to face her but only saw blue. His red eyes widened and his heart nearly stopped as a soft warmth settled over him. Levy had wound her arms around his neck and nestled her face into his shoulder, barely having to bend to reach his height. Especially since he sat up stick-straight as soon as he realized what was happening. What is she doing!? The contact was strange, it baffled him and set his every sense alight. In every one of his memories, Gajeel had no recollection of ever having been touched in this way. He became hyperaware; he could feel her breath on his neck, he could feel the hairs on his arms stand up, he could hear his blood in his ears…

“I’m so sorry,” Levy whimpered, her voice cracking. There was the smell of salt, and Gajeel’s heart began to race. “I am so sorry for what they did to you, I–” her voice broke with her tears and she held him tighter, her small frame shaking. “It’s unthinkable.”

“Sh-shorty?” Gajeel stammered, lifting his hands in front of him a little, unsure where to put them. “H-hey, what’re ya cryin’ for? ” he tried to sound even a little bit composed, but all he managed was barely controlled distress.

“I’m not...” Levy mumbled and sniffed, holding him tighter. I want….to ask about the article. But…now isn’t right.

Gajeel, finally, relaxed and angled himself to face her more directly. Slowly, he lifted his hands to place one on the back of her head, tangling into her hair. The other went around her waist, pulling her sideways into his lap. She did not protest, her stomach did flips, but she continued to cling to him. At least he couldn’t see her face like this. He closed his eyes, pressing his nose into her neck, his clouded mind soaring with how right she fit against him. Thank you, Lev.

After several long moments, she pulled away from him, but not without a bit of resistance from him first. She leaned back, took his face in her hands, and locked his gaze. “Please stay here.”

Levy fidgeted nervously with the edge of the blanket she had wrapped around herself, staring into the fire with her back against the couch. The sound of the fire, crackling and hissing, tried to overpower the sound of running water in the background. When that didn’t suffice, she tried to focus on the sound of her music, which helped only a little. The blunette glanced to the clock on the wall, surprised that it wasn’t as late as she thought it was. Maybe because it felt like an eternity since she had offered for him, a man, to use her shower. At night.

She had been the one that insisted, knowing how nice a hot shower, especially on a cold night, could feel. And really… when had he been able to use one last? Levy was just trying to be helpful. But she definitely had not planned ahead to the point where she would be sitting here waiting, by herself, while he was in her shower. There were places her thoughts had started to wander, but with flaming cheeks and violent head shakes, she dashed them away. It’s not even a big deal. I’m just giving him basic necessities, she tried to tell herself.

“You really gotta get stuff that doesn’t all smell like flowers. Makin’ me smell like a damn fairy,” his voice startled her, and she jumped while looking to him abruptly. Immediately, her face went red.

He stood there, rubbing his mane roughly with the towel she had lent him. The flannel pants she had found seemed to fit well, and more than that the old green t-shirt she had dug up clung to him tightly, dampened by his poor job at drying his hair.

Gajeel, noticing her stare, shifted uncomfortably, “What?”

Levy shook her head a bit too fervently and pulled her blanket up to her face a little. “Nothing!” she answered quickly, glancing again at his untamed hair. She furrowed her brow before she got up quickly, much to his surprise, and marched back to the bathroom in the hall. He could only watch her with lifted brows, his hand that held the towel dropping a little.

She returned with a brush and comb in hand, and pointed to the floor in front of the couch. “Sit there,” Levy instructed bluntly. Normally, there might have been a smartass reply, or some kind of retort, but Gajeel was far too intrigued to come up with anything. Quietly, he took a seat, and she moved to settle crosslegged behind him up on the couch. He looked over his shoulder at her, the questions playing on his face. Levy merely took his head in her hands, and pointed his face away from her. “Hand me the towel and then hold still,” she said softly. Compliantly, he reached back and gave her the towel.

She draped the towel over his shoulders, then sifted her delicate fingers through his hair to pull it up and rest it all on top of the towel, bringing a visible shudder from him. He’ll catch cold if all that water drenches his shirt. Slowly and much to Gajeel’s surprise, she started to work the brush through, being careful not to yank on any of his many, thick tangles. She mumbled quiet apologies every time he tensed, but they otherwise sat in silence, with her music still playing in the background and the fire slowly dying out.

Eventually, Gajeel allowed his eyes to close and he leaned his head back. Her touch sent chills throughout him and settled a profound sense of peace in his chest. He wasn’t ready to run, ready to defend himself, ready to scare off intruders. Not a single other thing existed to him other than her and her touch.

Levy smiled softly to herself, enjoying the peace just as much. The quiet wasn’t unusual for her. The company, however, was. Sure, she had Lucy, but that was very different from what she had here. Levy had spent days trying to sort out how different. But here, now, as they were, there was no more thought needed.

Section by section, she sifted through his hair and delicately worked out the tangles, moving methodically and zoning out into the process. She was unsure of how much time had passed when she had worked through all of that black mane of his, but the fire had reduced to cinders and his hair was almost completely dry. Quietly, she set the brush aside and contented herself with running her fingers through his hair. Her eyes were heavy, and eventually she settled onto her side, still idly playing with the strands around her fingers.

“Gajeel?” Levy spoke up finally, her voice heavy with sleep.

“Hmm?” the dragon rumbled.

“Is Lily okay on nights like these?”

Gajeel chuckled, resting his head back on the couch, “He’s great. All the rats come inside when it gets cold like this so he has a field day. It’s his favorite.” Amusement hung on his tone.

Levy smiled, “That’s good.” Her voice was barely audible as she twirled a lock around her finger. “You know…you can bring him here if you want.”

Gajeel huffed a small laugh, “If I stay here long enough he’ll probably find his way here eventually.”

Her face warmed and the familiar flutter in her stomach accompanied it. If you stay… Levy was no longer surprised by the fact that she didn’t want him to leave. It was a feeling she couldn’t describe well, but she felt like he belonged here. The idea of him going back to the way things had been for him, hiding in the dark by himself, was no longer something she could imagine. And she could tell he felt the same. There was an unspoken settling that had happened tonight, and to her it felt like a victory. “Do you,” she started, taking a second to find the courage for the words, “do you want to stay?”

He glanced back at her and met her gaze. There was a need, something in her eyes that made him feel like he didn’t belong anywhere else but here. If he didn’t know better he might think she was begging him to. “If you let me,” he replied.

“As long as you’d like,” she closed her eyes finally. “It’s not so empty…with you here,” Levy barely whispered, finally losing the battle with sleep.

Gajeel took in the slumbering girl behind him, wrapped up in the knit blanket. It felt strange, having someone rely on him like that. But he wanted nothing more than to never let her down, to be the best that he could be for her. Is this what purpose feels like? he thought, reaching back to pull the blanket up over her shoulder. His hand lingered, and he brushed his scarred knuckles against her warm cheek. The size difference, the roughness of his skin and the satin of hers was jarring. Gajeel’s eyes settled on her pink lips, lingering there pointedly. There was a heat that rose in his chest, followed by a fear that was different from what he had known before. Abruptly, he looked away, biting his lip. Fuck. His hand found its way to his forehead, massaging his temple. What the hell is this? I’ve never felt anything like this before. My stomach is in knots.

Slowly, he glanced back at her again, watching the rise and fall of her sides with each breath. He took a moment to look around the room, the take in the sounds around him and memorize how quiet it was so he would know abruptly if something was out of place. She was vulnerable, small, and he had quietly tasked himself with guarding her. He knew how dark the world could be, the types of people that still lurked out there, and he’d be damned if he ever let any of that touch her.

#iron legends #fanfiction #gajevy #gajeel #levy #ft fanfics

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starsburnouttoo · 7 years

Text

boring tag

because of @kitkatdana

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED? I close them, i’m OCD about all the doors in my room.

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? I probably have, honestly don’t remember.

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? I have a sheet too big for my bed so its wrapped around kinda weirdly and never comes undone. (life hack?)

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? No because what would I do with it? I mean, I’d hang up a stop sign on my bedroom door maybe but that might be too cliche?

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES? I like to make small notes and I like to write things out in my notebook but post-it notes specifically? nah, not really.

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? I take the whole page and just rip out the coupon I end up using.

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? Big bear because it’s only one and I feel like they’d be easier to out run than a whole swarm of bees. Also at least with a bear it’s a quicker death, with a swarm of bees I’m not even sure i’d day.

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? Nope, I have a lot of moles/beauty marks though.

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? I do because I don’t want to look back at a photo and regret the facial expression I made -- it happens a lot surprisingly.

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? I... don’t know? I don’t like when I get blamed for stuff that isn’t my fault?

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? I don’t actually count but I think about how, like, “this room is only about 20 steps from mine.” and that sort of stuff.

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? No... I don’t go into the woods?

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? I literally do not go in the woods and the few times I have gone camping their were restrooms for this stuff.

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING? All the timeeeee I can’t seem to be still, I’ll move from side to side a lot or bob my head or do that shoulder beat thing, ya feel?

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? So, I chew on those pen caps from those pens that are clear and only have a blue cap? they’re like hard plastic? I feel like they’re in the top 3 most used pens... but I like to chew on those caps specifically, other than that no.

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? Okay so literally slept with only one but like sex? hehe ;) I’m a virgin.

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? twin but that was because I have a bunk bed. i’m buying a queen soon :D

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? Song of the week... uhm... okay so “Trapdoor” by Twenty One Pilots is really good but also “I Hate U I Love U” by Gnash because mood.

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? Yes, honey do what makes you happy. You like the color? wear it. You want to make a point that men can wear pink? do it. You want to support breast cancer? love it. you just couldn’t find another shirt to go with your new jeans? you look so good! I love it, wear the hell out of pink.

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? Actively? No... I watch a lot of anime from time to time, though... which, ya know, animated cartoons are still animated cartoons. Toe-may-toe toe-mah-toe.

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? Least favorite? err I hate every scary movie to have ever existed but I also can’t find it in me to like anything from harry potter, star trek, star wars, lord of the rings.... those series.

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? my grandpa owns two mountains... I won’t say where... you never know if I’ll get treasure worth hiding, my guy.

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? tea, literally any kind of tea.

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? Ketchup, ranch, chick-fil-a sauce... yes.

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? Alright so I’m weird and I really love potato salad, like, no joke, but there was potato salad in my dream last night? I like cereal a lot, its so good, but I would die for oatmeal creme pies... devilled eggs...

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? Okay any disney movie ever, but to specify I love Beauty and the beast, Mulan, Aladdin, Tangled, Frozen (I only saw it twice so it wasn’t killed for me, I genuinely like the characters), Anastasia.... yeah I like them all.

27. LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? Ugh okay so my last kiss was in 8th grade and yall know how those middle school relationships are all mistakes right? So yeah, it was this guy who was the pastors son at my church... his name is josh... he’s in college now... yeah. ew.

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? I went to the first meeting because my brother was going to the boy scouts meeting (he wanted to learn to use a pocket knife and tie cool knots) but the girls just sold cookies and i thought that was lame so... no.

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? I would strip but completely naked? Nah... do I get like a sheet to cover with or something?

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? Last week... I write thank you cards a lot (not that I give them out a lot because I feel like people would think I’m weird for thanking them for... like... i dunno... loving a similar band to me and having a nice conversation or something.)

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? No but all my brothers can so I don’t need to know... hopefully...

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? nope... because I’m learning to drive still.

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? uh... no. I haven’t learned how to drive in the time span between this question and the last one.

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? I really like subway because of their samiches. i couldn’t say any specifics because I like.... like, all sandwiches.

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? okay so breakfast tacos from Dans... oooooor cereal.... ooooooor breakfast tacos in general. oooooor Waffles from Jim’s because they put whipped cream, chocolate chips, chocolate drizzle, etc.

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? my bedtime is 9 but anytime after 6 pm works too... if its later than 10 I’m suicidal.

37. ARE YOU LAZY? If I’m determined to get something done I will do it, just leave me alone and I’ll do it. but if I really just don’t want to do something or don’t care... yes. i’m so so so so lazy.

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? Okay so one year, and keep in mind this is the most embarrassing costume i remember, I dressed up as a party rocker based on the song party rock anthem... because I was extremely crazy about that song when I was like.... 11.

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? I’m a dragon my guy. but like... hopefully a water dragon or ice dragon or earth dragon.. i don’t wanna be hot headed.

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? English.... and I passed Spanish....

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? I mean... I have none but my household has a ton and I like to take the Mens Health ones because none of my brothers want them and the cover guys are sooooo hot.

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? Legos by a long shot.

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN? Nah.. I mean if its a morals thing fuck yeah but if its like... “should we go to chick-fil-a” I’d be like “I kinda want chinese” and the someone would say “but I want chicken” so I’d be like “okay”

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? Uh... you see.... I like the name Leno better than letterman but i dunno these people?

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? No dude... like... if I did it would be more ironically...

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? funny story but one time I thought I would die if I jumped off of the air vent that was outside my house... it’s like 3 feet tall... so yeah... anything above 3 feet scares me I guess. xD

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? does satan’s name resemble santa’s?

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? almost alwayyyyyys... if I don;t i’m thinking hard or just in general talking to myself.

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? Yes. Especially to the good songs. so... a lot.

50. EVER USED A GUN? Yes and i like pistols but the.... whats it called.... the force after you shoot a big gun that makes you jump back... yeah I don’t like that.

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? Okay so... no?

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? I think that certain musicals are borderline obsessive with songs that just don’t go well for a serious mood... like, they’re too cheesy and annoying to be a good romantic song... but a lot of musicals are really well put together too.

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? Ugh, yes. I have 3 separate families to visit okay? Literally there is over 50 people to shop for and that’s not including friends and I’m unemployed so yes. yes it is.

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI? no.. I dunno what that is.

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? pie is so gross but I like the topping of pecan pie.

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? uhhhh I gotta list. here we go: chef, baker, singer, actress, model, pilot, therapist, vet, successful, talk show host, americas got talent judge (like... i reallllllllllly wanted to be a judge--- still do a looooooot but I have no fame so...)

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? nah but I make jokes about them being around a lot.

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? ALL THE TIME except its not exactly like a full on minute of deja vu its like a hand motion or a sign I saw on the wall or someone saying something that I swear I’ve heard before.

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? no but I did as a kid, especially when my mom bought the sour gummy ones.

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? no but I wear sandals and socks around the house a lot.

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE? no but I own, like, 2.

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? a t-shirts with literally anything ranging from jeans to leggings to yoga pants... etc.

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? One Direction on September 21st, 2014 in Houston.... the arena was huge... a million girls and I got sick during the last song... whoops.

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? target....?

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS? I wear so much nike stuff because its so comfortable but adidas shirts and jackets look hella comfortable.

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS? cheetos my main dude. I had an on going joke with my little brother once when we were at a concession stand and I couldn’t see what was there and he was tall so he read to me, “cheetos... fritos... doritos... and sunchips” and we died laughing because of all the rhyming.

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? I like the taste of sunflower seeds better but they’re so time consuming to open with so little food as a result that peanuts are just easier.

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? Nah my guy. How about Three Days Grace? xD

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? No but my spanish teacher had us learn a hispanic culture dance for one of our final projects. I had the cumbia.

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? I don’t care as long as they’re enjoying what they do.

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? like... taco? cause yeah?

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? Okay so uhhh no but I went to this education festival thing and they had a spelling bee booth and I spelled the word they gave me wrong but I still won a reallllly nice notebook (as a writer I really do mean that) and it was the first notebook I ever filled up. (it lasted from march 8th, 2016 to November 11th, 2016.)

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? Uh.... maybe? I dunno?

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? No but they sound cool.

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER? I have literally no idea whats in my garage. I doubt it.

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? Yes... I have like 20 in my room and I burn one every few days... or a candle...

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Yeah.... yea...... uhhhh.... yeah.

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? Twenty One Pilots, again, tbh, gnash, NF, and i’m sure there will be more in the future.

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? Troye Sivan on October 24th, 2016.

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? uhhhhh all tea, don’t discriminate.

81. TEA OR COFFEE? both... but like tea.... is more appealing.

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? sugar cookies all the way.

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL? i know how to swim.

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? yeah

85. ARE YOU PATIENT? sometimes. if its something I wanna do then nah... but if its like... waiting for a friend to do something yeah.

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? DJ... (I forgot to add this to the job list but I wanted to be a DJ once... and a break dancer once.)

87. EVER WON A CONTEST? I got 2nd place in an 80′s themed costume dance contest...??? I dunno.

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? yeah but it was to smooth out a few scars.

89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? olives can burn in hell.

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? ahhhhhh I wish no.

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? any room that gets cold???

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? only if my partner does but me??? yes.... yeah I’d loooooove to be able to call someone my partner for life and just have that assurance that they actually want to be with me...

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? never... yet...

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? she actually might see this somehow so i won’t say the current one but I liked this girl name Olivia all through middle school until 9th grade... so you know?

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? Playfully? dramatically? but never seriously.

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? so I have 2, one is named Pikachu and one is named Bruce Banner... or Willis... or Wayne.. whatever you want for Bruce.... they’re small.... and precious... and chihuahuas.

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS? I don’t want to give birth, I want a ton of kids though so... well see?

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? I like maroon... and purple... and blue... and black.... silver... white.... yeah.

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? nah.... not really.

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS VIDEO NEXT? its not even a video but uhhh @sweatersnshades @depressedtopramen @guacnroll @ashlapash579 @sleeping--light @beverlynotcleary @pups-art @stark-nakedness because all of yall are my fave accounts and some of the coolest people I’ve got to see.... yeah :D

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