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seyaryminamoto · 2 months

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Azula's most overlooked characterization element

Why, hello there.

It is I.

And I'm back on my bullshit.

I didn't WANT to be. But a bunch of factors pulled me back in.

For the record: I'm not here to start any fights or light the fuse of arguments that I most likely won't have time or interest in responding to. What I AM here for... is to prove that there's something out there a bunch of people are delighted to sleep on because acknowledging it would render maaaany simplistic interpretations entirely invalid...

That group of people includes the fandom, of course. And the original show's staff. And the liveaction's staff, to a fault. Surely the TTRPG ones too. And absolutely, the comic book writers.

Hell, I'll even include MYSELF in that group, even though I'm making this post right now.

I found it really curious that I very recently saw this element mentioned in a pretty neat blog I follow, @atla-lore-archive, I absolutely advise anyone who hasn't checked out said archive to do it if you wish to understand a lot of the "extra lore" the fandom had access to, back in the old days when the turbonick ATLA site still existed and used to be the only source of deeper knowledge about the fandom besides the occasional interview that most people didn't even know where to track down.

But the funny thing is that the post I'm talking about proved that even Turbonick forgot about the people this post is about :')

And that would beeeeeeee...

*cue drumroll*

Lo and Li!

What makes Lo and Li an important subject to discuss?

Why, a lot of things. Among them, the fact that almost nobody brings them into the core focus of any analysis made about Azula's character. I've personally mentioned them once or twice I believe, mostly as negatives, there's but ONE positive aspect I've ever found of them: them being non-benders MIGHT be a reason why Azula isn't shown as being quite so obsessive with firebending supremacy as Zuko was supposed to be.

But that's very much the sole good thing I can think to say about them and it's completely subjective, as good as a headcanon, because we don't even KNOW if they influenced Azula in that sense!

Why do they seem to get overlooked quite as much? Why... let's start thinking about it, shall we?

Lo and Li are Azula's firebending teachers. As far as anyone can tell, they're also her advisors. These two people should be an essential part of Azula's life... but ironically, we seldom see them with her. Most times, Azula isn't around these two. Whenever she is? It doesn't usually look like she's having a good time.

And that's no surprise, considering her first scene with those two very much puts forward a dynamic of cold distance between Azula and her mentors: Azula is bending LIGHTNING. We have not heard of other lightningbenders until that point, and once the full show wraps up, there's only THREE (Azula, Ozai, Iroh). Out of those three? Only one is a fourteen-year-old girl. It's very easy to assume Azula's lightning is actually a skill she mastered unusually early in life, perhaps relatively recently, hence the practicing... but she's pulling it off. She's succeeding. She's doing something that genuinely catches a first-time viewer off-guard!

And Lo and Li's entire opinion of what she did is: "Almost perfect. One hair out of place."

This tells you the Fire Nation's idea of "imperfection" is... insane. Strict. Imposing. Unyielding. Unforgiving. Azula's reaction isn't to get angry at Lo and Li for saying what they did: it's to get angry at herself and try again.

But... that's not the only instance where we see Azula getting angry around Lo and Li.

The next few times Azula is around them, she doesn't seem to have much of an emotional reaction (one is when they tell her to find other allies, the other when they herald her as a great hero who returned home from Ba Sing Se). In the second of these scenes, Lo and Li are praising Azula as incredible, beautiful, all sorts of grand things...! And Azula smiles. She smiles at the crowd. She's not smiling at the old ladies who are praising her... she's mostly just happy to know her people are welcoming her as a hero indeed! Most the fandom would go "true! what an ungrateful bitch! She should've been happy that Lo and Li complimented her that way!!" Me? I wouldn't say that at all. Not just because I love Azula to pieces? But because the only information we have of Azula's dynamics with these two... doesn't seem compatible with the idea that what Lo and Li are saying here is for AZULA'S benefit.

Anyone who's had a hypocritical parent/caretaker/teacher must have endured awkward, horrible, unpleasant moments where this adult figure treats you like shit in private but in public holds you as this grand example, and a perfect child, and they never seem to stop saying they're soooo proud of you even though you NEVER felt that what they're saying is true. Maybe the first few times, you're naive enough to believe it. By the tenth time of incongruent messages? You start to realize they're talking you up as a way to make themselves look better. They're trying to show they're doing their job at raising you/training you, be it whatever it may. The praises are not FOR you... they're for a third person to hear and think "Oh, this adult's so cool, saying nice things about this kid they're responsible for! Nice!"

... You're starting to get the picture now, I'm sure.

Lo and Li reappear in the Beach. Azula is notably chill, enjoying the ride, talking casually with Ty Lee, telling Zuko to lighten up and to stop taking Ozai's choices personally, right? She seems... content. Relaxed.

Then, everything changed when Lo and Li attacked.

We don't even see why Azula is making this face at first. But she does it AT ONCE when their ship reaches the dock.

Who is there indeed...?

The stars of our post! :') if it isn't our elderly twin ladies... who brought Azula to a very disappoting beach house. And when Azula sees the house in question, she makes THIS face.

Judge however you may... even Ty Lee is weirded out by the beach house, going by that expression. Zuko and Mai aren't impressed either. But Azula? The look on her face isn't merely disappointment if you ask me... part of it looks a bit like embarrassment too? This isn't at all what she was expecting when she arrived (she has her old beach house for standards, which makes this extra underwhelming, I'm sure). She counts on Lo and Li to provide them with a place to stay, it goes implicit... and then this is what they do. It most likely isn't what she promised the other three in terms of where they'd stay, hence, I'd dare say there's a component of embarrassment here.

Shortly afterwards, we have our well known scene with Azula being utterly unconcerned with Lo and Li's apparent wisdom to the point of yawning over it. This, too, tells you she's just not interested in whatever those two have to say or bring to the table. Then, they show up again at mealtime and I think Azula just ignores them the whole scene.

After this? Lo and Li vanish until the finale. And what do they do in the finale? Why... it's the first time anyone expresses a verbal concern over Azula's wellbeing! Ah! A sign that Lo and Li have SOME affection for Azula! This time, you pesky Azula fans, you CAN'T twist this into a bad thing! For sure!

... Can't we, tho? :')

What IS Azula's reaction to: "We are concerned for your wellbeing"?

"My father asked you to come here and talk to me, didn't he‌? He thinks I can't handle the responsibility of being Fire Lord. But I will be the greatest leader in Fire Nation history."

And here, my friends, is when we have finally hit the jackpot.

Lo and Li could have been Azula's Irohs. She could've had TWO of him! Then you'd say: "hey! Ozai is such a dick he let Azula have two elderly wise ladies guiding her but only gave one old wise dude to Zuko! Rude!" and it would be further proof of Ozai's favoritism of Azula, right?

... But actually?

Lo and Li are no such thing. Lo and Li aren't moral compasses for Azula in the least. Lo and Li are not beacons of wisdom that genuinely help her sort her way through life. Worth noting: THEY COULD HAVE BEEN WRITTEN THAT WAY. They're not. They're not part of mysterious secret societies, they don't help Azula in any objective, significant, tangible way... there's very much nothing to say they EVER fulfilled the role Iroh did for Zuko. What role, then, were they fulfilling instead?

Why... I think we ought to listen to Azula, shouldn't we?

My take: Lo and Li are OZAI'S STAND-INS.

Someone's going to say "hey why would you assume that when Azula said this in the middle of a breakdown?? Surely she was just DELUSIONAL and PARANOID and ashdgkadhsgkjgh...!"

... Let me counter that one with a fun little analysis excercise:

WHY are Lo and Li Azula's firebending teachers and advisors?

The finale very directly tells us these two are not benders. We could've assumed they were! They're not: Azula's teachers are non-benders.

Has a single person out there ever asked themselves WHY this is the case?

How the hell is Azula, prodigy of the blue fire, epic lightning, cruel and powerful and precise and deadly bending... training under two elderly nonbenders?

Bringing this to a real-life example: do you remember what it was like when you were in P.E. classes and your teacher told you to spend 20 minutes jogging, and if you ever stopped you had to do 20 crunches and then get back to the jogging, and every time you stopped he'd tell you the same thing and you'd want that guy to vanish from the face of the planet? I don't know if that was only my experience, but I rather doubt it.

What did kids typically think/say when that happened?

"I wanna see that old fart doing the same shit he's making us do..."

It's a headcanon indeed to say that this is how Azula must have felt over Lo and Li, but it's VERY likely to be the case. But I'd dare say, in Azula's case, it's even worse because, to put it in another way? It's like taking programming lessons from someone who's never learned a programming language. They'll tell you you're getting things wrong without knowing how to help you get them right because they just DON'T KNOW what you're doing, and are outright INCAPABLE of what you're trying to achieve. They can't offer good guidance based on experience because they have ZERO experience on that subject! And yet they want PERFECTION from you! They expect it!

Lo and Li are these teachers for Azula. We only see them in one scene? And yet everything in the rest of the show suggests that they bring nothing important to the table for Azula, be it professionally, be it personally, be it emotionally... not in any aspect of life.

And this, if you ask me, is why the OG show barely ever brings them into scenes. Why the comics flat-out forgot they existed and even featured people like Sozin and Azulon in Azula's beach hallucinations but NOT the two ladies who looked after her and trained her. Why the live-action didn't even FEATURE them.

And us? The fandom? The fic writers?

I HAVE NO IDEA WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I READ A FIC THAT HAD LO AND LI INVOLVED IN IT.

I'm not even saying as main characters, I don't even know if that exists, frankly: I mean as minor, or background characters. I have NOT seen those two be used in basically ANY fics I've read. I've scarcely used them in mine! In fact, I PURPOSEFULLY got rid of them early on in Gladiator because I didn't want them to sabotage and get in the way of Azula's progress as a character and I believed they'd do exactly that. They were an obstacle rather than anything useful, so I did away with them and then realized they could still occasionally serve some purpose in certain situations: I even had Azula visit them once and they were actually helpful! Fancy that! But... that's it. That's as far as I could go with them. I can't do MORE with those two because they're not characters one particularly feels compelled to work with.

And from what I've seen? That's the case for everyone.

So, I ask again:

WHY ARE THEY THERE?

WHAT IS THEIR ROLE?

WHAT IS THE POINT OF AZULA HAVING NON-BENDING TEACHERS?

Let's go further and further into logical thinking here, shall we?

Azula is a child. Fourteen years of age at the time she's introduced in the OG show.

Azula has no power over many things around her, particularly, her upbringing. That's in the hands of the adults around her. Her mother, up until she vanished, had some hand in it, then, it all falls to Ozai.

Ozai has been Azula's sole parental figure since Ursa left.

Ozai is the one who would reasonably call the shots regarding Azula's education, as all parents are wont to do... ESPECIALLY when he's a king with absolute power over his children.

... so, Lo and Li? Ozai either gave them the position as Azula's teachers personally, or someone else (Ursa) did, and Ozai either didn't WANT to remove them from the role (cue "Ozai being sentimental over Ursa" theories), or Ozai didn't give a flying fuck about who was training his daughter (cue "Ozai is an abusive dick without a heart or a brain" theories).

Anyone, of course, would likely interject here to say surely Ozai ALSO trained Azula himself because that's what he'd do with his favorite kid, right? See. I don't even disagree with that notion.

BUT IT'S A HEADCANON.

We have zero evidence that Ozai trained her! None! I totally will write that into Azula's backstory in many of my stories, but there's NOTHING in canon to suggest this actually happened and that Ozai was genuinely, actively, frequently involved in her progress as a firebender. Assuming he HAD to be is, still, a headcanon. You can't say that with any more certainty than mine when I say I believe Azula loves spicy foods. Does it seem to be something that would fit with her character? I think so! But if eventually canon goes "AZULA CAN'T STAND SPICY FOODS LOL JOKE'S ON YOU!" I... can't even say a thing about it. People's food tastes aren't reflective of their personalities. They really could do whatever they want in that respect. And that's the case for ANYTHING that isn't part of the show's storytelling or the character backgrounds or any texts we consider canon!

POINT BEING: Ozai, regardless of what you want to headcanon, had Lo and Li as Azula's teachers. HIS FAVORITE CHILD... and her only official instructors are two non-benders. Yang added Kunyo as an old instructor of Azula's when she was young, sure! But Kunyo was sooooo qualified that baby Azula was already kicking his ass. So, for that matter? He doesn't really seem to have been a cornerstone of her firebending development and the only other known teachers for Azula are Lo and Li.

For the last time: Azula's teachers are NON-BENDERS. AS CHOSEN, SANCTIONED, APPROVED AND ACCEPTED BY OZAI.

And with those two remarking on absolutely STUPID stuff like "one hair out of place"? Azula still became the incredible firebender she was.

Cue, now, the irony where Zuko was stuck in the basics 3 years after setting out of the Fire Nation... WITH IROH ACTIVELY SERVING AS HIS MENTOR.

You're not gonna tell me that Lo and Li would EVER be better instructors than Iroh, or are you? Because that makes no sense. Full-stop. Iroh is supposed to be the most profound and complete firebender thorughout the show because he's spiritually enlightened even though I admit I think that's bullshit and he doesn't just teach Zuko how to set things on fire, he actually makes him learn theory and spirituality and his teachings are more profound than just "ONE HAIR OUT OF PLACE".

So.

Banished as he is, disgraced and seen as trash by Ozai, Zuko STILL has a better teacher than Azula does.

... Is this LOGICAL? Is this NORMAL? Does this make SENSE?

If you think Ozai's favoritism of Azula takes the shape of "I'll give you every little thing you ask for, sweetheart, I love you very much, here, have ten million doll houses so you can set them on fire, and all the ponies you ask for and on your next birthday I'll buy you a baby dragon and you'll get your own region of the Fire Nation to govern and a fancy title..."?

Then Lo and Li, unfortunately, are right here to be a HUGE contradiction with your interpretation of Ozai and Azula's relationship.

Azula should have THE BEST teachers. Azula does not. Azula doesn't even LIKE them. Azula is openly shown to dislike them! To be annoyed around them, ANGRY when they're teaching her, she feels they're here to keep tabs on her for her father! In a sense, they're Ozai's SPIES on her! :')

Hence? Ozai's favoritism of Azula MIGHT not be what everyone keeps pretending it is. Maybe Ozai didn't do everything to make Azula get things EASILY... and to be fair? That's not what Zuko said anyway. People interpreted it that way... but that's not REALLY what he says:

"Everything always came easy to her. She's a firebending prodigy, and everyone adores her. My father says she was born lucky. "

Every line in this statement is absolutely questionable and all of it sounds like buuuuullshit to me. This is ZUKO'S perspective. And sorry not sorry, but it's tell-don't-show. People swear by his opinion of Azula and pretend he's absolutely objective about it. He's not.

But "Everything always came easy to her," does not mean "EVERYTHING WAS ALWAYS HANDED OVER TO HER ON A SILVER PLATTER." And yet this is what the fandom has constantly interpreted it as.

Azula might just be a prodigy. Maybe she started out ten steps ahead of her brother: this does not mean she needs no guidance, no training, no help. She's seen training herself over perfectionism in her very second scene of Book 2. And the guidance she gets in order to achieve perfection is actually, objectively, stupid.

This is what Ozai chose for her. This is an OBSTACLE for her growth, just as much as Lo and Li were obstacles for me when I was starting with Gladiator! Azula doesn't have it EASY: she just works herself so damn hard that even shit that should HINDER her does NOT do that. And even when her brother objectively has spent THREE YEARS with an advantage in the shape of being trained by one of the VERY BEST firebenders out there? Azula is still beating Zuko at it. With two non-benders as her teachers.

Where am I going with all this?

To the fact that Lo and Li are overlooked in just about every instance of the fandom.

To the fact that nobody includes them, and their influence on Azula, in their analyses of who Azula is.

I've seen a shitstorm rising over the Netflix characterization of Azula: SHE'S TOO ANGRY, they say. Non-stop. She's sooooo hysterical, all the time! She's just pissed perpetually!

Well. I haven't finished the show yet. But the scenes I've seen Azula in so far? They don't fit the fandom's view of Azula because...

... they're not taking Lo and Li into account.

As usual.

:')

Azula's reactions around Lo and Li being frustration, anger, irritation EVEN in scenes like The Beach, where Azula was FINE until she sees them? That shit is storytelling that went over sooooooo many heads, EVEN MINE! When I saw people going on about how canon Azula is... not insecure? Not angry? Has no frustrations and was only ever smirking 24/7? I... didn't feel that was right. I knew it wasn't right. And when I thought about it hard enough? I realized that one reason why this interpretation of Azula is IMMEDIATELY dismissable is because of Lo and Li: those two constantly made Azula angry. Even if that wasn't their intent, it's nonetheless the effect they'd have on her. And Azula didn't like having them around. She CLEARLY didn't appreciate them the way Zuko does Iroh, for instance! And this could be taken as a flaw on Azula's part... if we EVER saw evidence that these two ladies actually love Azula as a grandchild, or so. If we had any evidence that they actually have cared for her in ways nobody else ever did. If maybe the ones Zuko talks about, upon saying "EVERYONE LOVES AZULA" were these two! And maybe he was jealous of them! Maybe he wanted two old ladies to watch his every move and tell him his every flaw!

... Clearly I'm joking about that last thing, but anyway...

There's nothing to tell us Lo and Li were anything but Ozai's assigned watchdogs to keep control and tabs over Azula. That Azula's immediate reaction upon hearing that someone cares about her is "Oh fuck off, my dad sent you here because he doesn't trust me!" is... telling. It's not just paranoia speaking, even if it sure can be read that way! It's actually Azula's perception of those two, which is 100% supported by what we saw of the twins throughout the show, WHENEVER we did see them: their roles in Azula's life are indeed to keep tabs on her, to keep her under control, to pressure her into perfection, AS OZAI'S AGENTS! Seen this way, it MAKES SENSE for Azula to disregard their concern and immediately assume it's FAKE. She isn't even shown to doubt it, never questions that MAYBE they did care about her! She assumes they don't...

... And considering that, as far as I know, the official concept is that they BOTH LEFT when Azula banished one of them only? That they didn't contest her command, staying to look after her even if she only wanted one? I mean, clearly Azula can't tell them apart, so they could've taken turns: one watches over Azula for 12 hours and the other for the next 12 hours, I don't goddamn know! But they didn't do that. They LEFT. And if they left? It means they don't care remotely as much as they say they do. Not to the point where they'd challenge Azula's orders and help her when they KNOW she's not okay.

And all of this further supports my point.

When we see Azula in the liveaction being angry, bitter, irritable at Ozai's choices?

I see a reflection of the same dynamics that the OG too subtly weaved into Azula's relationship with Lo and Li. I see Azula reacting against Ozai's control over her because she feels it's DISTRUST. She feels it means her father STILL needs to be convinced that she's competent, powerful, ready to do his bidding. It isn't a case where Azula's irritation comes from wanting to rebel against her father... it's Azula wanting her father to UNDERSTAND that she's 100% his supporter and will put everything on the line to serve him and the Fire Nation.

And it's very damn easy to read that exact same thing into Azula's dynamics with Lo and Li as it is to see it EXPLICITLY STATED in the liveaction.

My point?

What the liveaction did is not nearly as much of a distant characterization choice as people think it is.

Ozai is Azula's Achilles' Heel. Everything she became, everything she grew up to be, was for his sake. He molded her to become those things and simply didn't give a shit about raising a daughter, he treated her as a weapon, and absolutely pitted his children against each other, just as much as OTHER adults in their lives did. But the impact of Ozai on Azula in the OG is easy to ignore. Why? Because we SELDOM see them interacting. Because we don't get that side of Azula's character fully explored. Because they didn't want to explore Ozai's character either! They were as cheap as they could be with all these aspects and so, only the people who really got into analyzing things on a deeper level would be able to say, without a doubt, that Ozai abused Azula emotionally with all the expectations and demands he put on his own child. Through the golden child-scapegoat dynamic that people have been bringing up non-stop in the past years.

So, proving herself to her father is what Azula wants to do, more than anything. Proving worthy of his favor, of his approval, is the closest thing she can get to feeling loved. Which is depressing as fuck. Azula gets zero affection: it's not even conditional affection, there's NOTHING for her besides approving words if she gets anything right. And this show's work with Azula's character? It was meant to make these things less invisible to all the fans who like to pretend none of it exists. And yes, I've seen them, crawling all over Twitter shitting themselves in fits of rage because how dare that show pretend Azula EVER had a bad time in her perfect flawless life!!

Well, the irony is that the OG gives you a smidge of evidence -- and yet that's enough -- to show that Ozai was doing very similar things to Azula in ATLA, and her reactions to it?

Huh. No smirks for Lo and Li.

No smirks for the symbols of Ozai's control over her life.

It's almost like the confidence, the smirks, the apparent ease with which she handles everything? Is a front that crumbles easily whenever it concerns the ONE PERSON with power over her life.

I don't believe, worth noting, that Azula's power comes from rage. I've seen people say that in fandom in the past and I find it a completely absurd take when Iroh himself spells out that her bending is about control, about precision, and it's Azula's FURY that makes her a sloppy mess in the finale. It's even INTENTIONAL that when she shoots lightning a second time, in her second establishing scene, THAT SAME HAIR FALLS OUT OF PLACE. She's still angry. She didn't get it "right" this time either. She's imperfect and she's trying NOT to be, but she cannot succeed. And upon bending lightning with emotions (rage/frustration)? That hair falls YET AGAIN out of place. Proof that she's not going to achieve the perfection she's being FORCED (indeed, by her father and the people who are here to represent him, Lo and Li) to strive for.

The liveaction had Ozai pushing Azula for a perfection she couldn't attain either. She's perfectly content in her cruelty at Ozai's side, right until she hears the Avatar was found and that Zuko has a shot at taking away the privileges she's been basking in so far. That she WASN'T nervous about this in canon is pretty damn obvious: OZAI SENT HER TO HUNT ZUKO DOWN FOR BEING A FAILURE. We never saw her reaction to learning that the Avatar was out and about. We have noooo idea what was canonically going on with her back then. The first time we see her besides the flashback is Azula receiving a mission that tells her she's STILL #1 and Zuko is no threat to her because Ozai thinks he's a failure. Thus? She had nothing to fear. Here? Ozai is actively using Zuko as bait to pressure Azula further. And if you're so confident in Ozai's good parenting skills as to believe he somehow WOULDN'T do that? Sounds like you don't understand the very basic and simplistic Fire Lod Ozai from ATLA, and that's not something to be proud of. So probably stop screaming your bad takes at the top of your lungs, because being incapable of understanding Ozai in canon is not a badge of pride, just saying...

FINAL POINT...

This post is not written expressly in the defense of the liveaction and its characterization of Azula. To this point, what I've seen of it doesn't feel WRONG or OFF unless you're the kind of person who thinks Azula is only capable of smirking and if she stops doing that she stops existing or something. Only people who cannot understand the depth, nuance, subtleties in Azula's story would ever be claiming that Azula's relationship with Ozai COUDLN'T be like this, or that Azula couldn't possibly be frustrated with her father or his choices when it's soooo clear what Ozai is going for, and why it's working. But in order to read Azula as a character capable of this range of emotion, frustration and ambition, all at once? You have to be able to treat this character, be it in the liveaction or the OG show, as a human being.

And that's what most the people criticizing this specific change are determined not to do. It's what makes them uncomfy. It's what rustles their jimmies.

Yes. I'm saying it in this very demeaning way because I actually find it quite ridiculous to be this insecure over the portrayal of a fictional 14yo in two TV shows. Whether the liveaction sticks the landing or fails catastrophically, I do not know... but I do know that if it's forcing a bunch of people to rethink Azula's character, and making them panic at the idea that she could EVER have human emotions, even if they're AWFUL human emotions?

Then I'm afraid you're only convincing me that, as bad as that show could ever get? It's getting SOMETHING right. I do love to see misinterpretations of Azula getting slammed in the face by the reality that all those beliefs, headcanons and takes in bad faith are actively, categorically untrue: none of which makes Azula a fundamentally good person, worth noting! But it makes it very clear that reading her as a one-dimensional basic villain, which is what the anti-Azula-redemption crowd actively does, is literally only possible if you overlook, ignore and fail to understand her character and her complexities, be it in the liveaction or in the original show.

There. I said my piece.

Another post, regarding the rest of the liveaction, is bound to come later. I'd say stay tuned but it might take me a while to write it at all. So... wait around and maybe you'll see it someday!

#azula #atla #natla #yep :')#I'm doing it #because I know the bad takes are everywhere so #let's see if mine actually gets any visibility this way #can of worms here we goooooooooo #(this is a bad idea I know it is I'm having a leave of my senses)#(but sometimes you just gotta watch the world burn and this has been... a complicated sad day)#also sorry if anyone saw it without the read more oops I thought I'd put it there #so either tumblr ate it or I forgot yikes #but now it's theeeere #sorryyyyyyyy

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prismatic-bell · 1 year

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So @hejeksbs saw that post about fandom olds freaking out about IWTV stuff being posted on the AO3, and said they’re new to fandom and fandom culture and don’t understand. So congrats, Hejek, you’re one of today’s lucky 10,000. This is going to be a basic primer, but I encourage others to chime in with details. (Also, thanks for reminding me I need an Interview exhibit in the museum. I had that written down somewhere.)

So if you go back to the 1990s and early 2000s—the pre-AO3 digital years—you’re going to see an official disclaimer on just about every fic. These basically said “I don’t own anything here, please don’t sue me.” Some were quoted elaborate.

These started because of Anne Rice.

See, Anne Rice was, how can I say this nicely…an asshole? The day she died there were literally people posting crab rave and “Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead” from The Wizard of Oz on Tumblr. Because before Harry Potter fanfiction was pretty frowned upon and you might get a C&D if you didn’t keep your head down properly, but Anne Rice.

ANNE RICE.

Anne Rice literally recruited her “loyal fans” to harass people who made fanworks. At least one person was doxxed to her workplace by rabid Ricers, and at the time fanfiction was taboo enough you could absolutely get fired for that. I was eleven and friends with someone who was 13 who’d just read Interview and drew this wonky I-am-a-kid-who-can’t-really-draw-yet-but-I-loved-this-SO-MUCH piece of fanart of Louis and Lestat, and she literally dipped off the internet because she got an extremely nasty “I’m suing you” threat from Rice. (Are you out there, Mercury000? It’s me, sailorsharon0722.)

Anne Rice did everything in her power to ensure there was no IWTV fandom at all. I’ve heard from people older than me that she used to host a “vampire’s ball” every year in New Orleans for her “loyal fans” but if you showed up and she felt your costume outshone her own, she’d make you leave. People didn’t dare so much as put “Lestat” and “fanfiction” in the same sentence.

And then, irony of ironies, when her reputation got so bad she was struggling to sell books, she…became a Christian and started writing Bible fanfiction to sell.

Yeah.

Over the years there were claims she’d changed her mind about fanfiction, but nobody ever had evidence to back this up. I even saw a dude on Quora claiming to be a close friend of hers saying we were all lying, and he got absolutely ratioed by fans going “I still have my C&D letter, you wanna fucking try again?”

Incidentally, I would like to point out that her attitude wasn’t uniform. It’s easy to say “that’s just how it was,” but Neil Gaiman has been around since the 1980s and has always appreciated fanfiction. Stephen King’s approach is “please tell me, to my face, that me explicitly writing about Cthulhu isn’t fanfiction” and otherwise pretty lassez-faire (he has no interest in knowing you’re writing fanfiction of his stuff, he just genuinely doesn’t care), and his first book was published in the early 1970s. Gene Roddenberry, creator of Star Trek, actually accepted submissions of fanfiction scripts DURING THE SHOW’S ORIGINAL RUN, at least according to popular lore. (@dduane, can you check me on this?) Mercedes Lackey—who’s 1980s-and-1990s fantasy royalty—has been asked on Quora about why she “changed her mind about fanfiction” and her response was “I never changed my mind, I just had to talk my publisher into accepting it. I’ve always been okay with it but I had to say no because of my contract.” Sure, Diana Galbaldon was out there comparing fanfiction to rape(????), but even among those who disapproved of fanfiction, Rice’s attitude and actions were extreme. And they persisted into the 2000s, too, with her egging on fans who harassed and sent death threats to a YouTube reviewer who didn’t like one of her books.

AO3 changed ALL of that.

AO3 said “here is our well-researched legal claim that fanfiction is legal, and if someone gives you shit about works you have posted on our website, our lawyers will represent you. You can post safely here. It’s okay. We got your back.”

Even so, the fear about Anne Rice continued. And can you blame people? This woman’s name held the same power in fannish conversations as “Voldemort.” (A moniker by which I’ve actually heard her called.) She all but destroyed the old guard, on purpose.

….and then a new generation of fans happened. A new generation that didn’t remember life before AO3, had never known anyone who literally had to move house to get away from Rice’s minions’ threats and harassment. I know we use “nature is healing” as a joke on this website, but really truly, that’s what happened here. She left charred tree trunks and bushes that were old-school fans and from their ashes tiny little 2010s-fans seedlings began to grow.

The thousand-odd fics you saw in those screenshots (which I feel I should clarify are from before the new show came out—a show that must have her turning in her grave, because she was absolutely adamant that all her vampires were STRAIGHT and if you thought otherwise you were DISGUSTING, and I hope she spins so hard her corpse combusts) are absolutely shocking to us older fans because it’s like staggering out of a nuclear wasteland and spotting a little garden with signs saying “free nuclear-illness medical services” and realizing it’s real. What the fuck, what the fuck, but also, holy shit y’all we’re so proud of you. YES. Keep going. Don’t let the witch get you down.

EDIT: I’ve been informed by someone in the notes that IT ACTUALLY GETS WORSE:

I’m not going to transcribe the whole thing because I’m on mobile and most of it is just bog-standard post notes, but what’s relevant is @theoriginalvelocipastor saying “OP forgot the part where she [Anne Rice] would take ideas from fanfiction.”

Like holy motherFUCKER this woman’s hypocrisy.

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cloudmancy · 8 days

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I have no desire to get you in trouble but I would be curious to hear your thoughts on the new episode and the preview because I also have.. thoughts and I'm interested in what other people clocked as not great or kinda.. idk. other people's concerns, because I have had a lot of them and I never see people really talk about those things

they're doing a new format this season where they film a bunch of rp episodes in a row then take a break when there's a battle so the crew can get the battleset ready, so I understand the dissonance. but the tone of this episode from the tone of last episode was SO jarring. I was ready to chew drywall at the end of episode 17 but we head into the episode 18 fight and at the end all I can say is... damn! that sure is a battle that happened. the entire fight felt really low-stakes even though objectively a few of the bad kids were in mortal danger, but the mood at the table was so relaxed and chill and there was almost no roleplay at all... which drove me so crazy

>no rp except for fun silly party stuff (no callbacks to the adaine elven oracle in a storm thing? after all the fun setup last time??)

>fought 8 different antagonists and none of them said a word

>nobody questioned why or what oisin's grandma or all those dragon were doing there they just started taking them out one by one like raid battles in world of warcraft

>cassandra/nightmare king showed up only to not make any impact or get a single word in

>dos2 lady vengeance fight did the floating boat/ballistas/dragon fight better SMH

and then after all of that we're headed straight into ANOTHER battle episode judging by the preview... and it's against the rat grinders and porter/jace! let me out I want PLOT & DIALOGUE fhjy cannot end like this (5 hours straight of battle where they just kill everyone that moves). there's 2 eps left so I really hope they do the last ep as a 4 hour long roleplay only epilogue episode because as we've all seen ending campaigns on a battle leads to frankly really rushed character and world decisions. it's ultra disappointing too because I loved this entire season so much so far. the setup and buildup and plot points and mystery of fhjy is the best they've ever done it in dimension 20 period

ep 18 fhjy battle was a letdown to me... not giving the party an rp episode after 3 hours of loredump + going straight into a final battle without being able to interact with the world after gaining info is bad. they should've had a chance to process everything they learned about house sunstone, porter's plan, the rat grinders being used as ascension fodder, whatever the whole deal behind ambrosia and lucy frostkettle and why they needed a helios cleric in buddy IN ROLEPLAY. I don't want all this stuff explained to me after the battle by brennan or in some throwaway lines in the adventuring party - I want the bad kids to talk to people! I want them to investigate! I want fig to pull some BS with porter knowing the full extent of all his plans. it really sucks for us as an audience too to be hit with all this lore and get approximately 0 time for it to sink into the implications of how the worldbuilding was shaped by it or realizations of "ohhh that's why that happened at the beginning of the season" before we go straight into killing everyone.

with the way this is going I don't have any confidence they're gonna be able to actually empathize at all with the rat grinders too before they start lopping heads off because in battle episodes everyone kind of just. becomes numbers and an objective to take out except for pet favourite npcs of the cast. and they've mostly been interacting with the rat grinders as nuisances all season 😭 I'm PRAYING to be proven wrong and the last 2 episodes of this are fantastic but it's not looking good folks

#asks #anon #fhjy spoilers

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zharaely · 21 days

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The Birth of a Hero was weird...

Putting aside the fact that it was actually written to be a guidebook for Kim Rok Soo, it was so obvious how weird The Birth of a Hero was as a 'novel' looking back, especially when you re-read the early chapters of TCF. It was weirdly detailed and descriptive about what should've been minor or unnecessary information if it was actually a novel.

For example, The Indestructible Shield, which was an ancient power that wasn't owned or found by anyone in the novel but just so happens to be in the Henituse Territory. It wasn't related at all to the main characters, but TBOAH went into detail about the ancient power's history, its original owner, its location, how to obtain it, and the response to expect once you feed the man-eating tree. I wonder whether Kim Rok Soo ever questioned why Nelan Barrow would write so much about something 'not important' while reading TBOAH, if whether or not the author just decided to ramble about world lore he made up but couldn't tie into the main story. Kim Rok Soo is better than me because I would've gotten really bored.

Also, TBOAH didn't just get into detail about the Ancient Powers either, since it also had a LOT to say about the Original Cale Henituse, his family, and the territory in general. From the very beginning, when Kim Rok Soo wakes up in the body of Cale Henituse, he goes to the bathroom to find the full body mirror the Original Cale Henituse had that was mentioned in the novel. That is INCREDIBLY random information to mention about a minor villain whose sole purpose was to get beaten up by the protagonist. But it doesn't happen just once. When Cale asks Deruth for an allowance, he recalls that the Original Cale also received a large allowance but the exact amount was never mentioned in the novel. Later on, when Ron serves Cale lemonade instead of cold water, he recalls again how the Original Cale hated sour things just like himself.

If he really was inside of the novel, he knew that there should be a large mirror inside.

As expected, the full body mirror was inside the bathroom. Cale Henituse, who had a lot of interest in his appearance and physique, had this mirror set up in here. Nobody else in the household had such a mirror.

The novel did mention that Cale received a large allowance, but it did not mention the exact amount. However, he could realistically understand how large it was based on the amount listed on the cheque.

He really is an insidious man. He knows that, just like Kim Rok Soo, the original Cale hates sour things. But he still chose to bring lemonade, which would take more work to prepare than cold water. [...]

It's pretty obvious by now that TBOAH went deeper into the Original Cale Henituse's character than a normal novel should have in just the first volume, like how he despised gangsters and scammers or how he had horrible aim when drunk, and his relationships with Ron and his family. Kim Rok Soo would recall reading about flashbacks to Cale being woken up by a servant that wasn't Ron which led to a ton of swearing, Cale breaking everything at his spot in the bar once, and Cale getting a scar on his side while drinking the night before meeting Choi Han. The novel also mentioned things that no one else but the Original Cale Henituse knew about, such as how he had high alcohol tolerance but just flushed easily which made people assume he was lightweight. if I were the one reading TBOAH, I would've started to wonder whether the author was planning to make Cale Henituse an important character later on (and maybe he was, but there were only 5 volumes).

The Henituse Family wasn't mentioned as much as Cale was, except for how people pushed the 15-year-old Basen to be the head of the family and how Basen started acting as the family's successor since 2 years ago, but it's odd enough that Nelan Barrow decided to describe characters that Choi Han never even meets (if we assume he only encounters Cale and Deruth and no one else in the family). There were even descriptions of the slums in the Henituse Territory and the Henituse Family business, like???

All of it further cements the fact that The Birth of a Hero was very much a guidebook written for Kim Rok Soo, who was going to swap bodies with Cale Henituse, and to help him adjust to his new life and plan for the future. The novel was fucking suspicious from the start!!!

#trash of the count's family #lout of the counts family #cale henituse #kim rok soo #original cale henituse #thebirthofahero #choi jung gun #nelan barrow #tboah #it felt off since my first read but it made a bit more sense on my re-read #50% of TBOAH was about Choi Han's adventures #the other 50% was CJG rambling about random side character facts and world lore

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starberry-cupcake · 1 month

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Things were happening too much. Gideon "Griddle" Nav, Chapter 30

I'm gonna have to split these up because there's so much going on.

previously, in gideon the ninth:

this happened

currently, having finished chapter 34:

well, I am exhausted and I'm just reading this

"gideon can't catch a break" should be the subtitle of this book

we literally can't finish a world-shattering disaster, we're onto the next one

the skeletons can't clean the blood fast enough

so, palmolive has a plan

palmolive's plans are like my cousin playing d&d, he talks as if the plan is bulletproof but then you hear him and it's some looney tunes shit

they work more frequently than not, which is infuriating but also moves things along

I feel like I'm constantly arguing with this guy in my head

palmolive's plan is to use the mind reading thingy harrow leveled up when they won against the first boss to show her mentally how dulcinea's key was so that they can break in that door

there are 2546 things that could go wrong with this, but he says he's super sure

he's not, in fact, super sure, but it works

camilla, my qp wife, has the poker face of the century

they look at the room and find some stuff, pins in a board, necromancer notes, the fact that the skeletons aren't constructs, you know, the usual

oh and that teacher and the other dudes are all super dead

which, we all kinda knew that

the fact that the old man didn't have a heart attack at this point is prove enough he doesn't have a beating heart to begin with

I'm gonna say, I love learning book lore and understanding how things work in said lore, but this book is making me feel terribly dumb

I don't know if it's a language barrier, the fact that Gideon doesn't understand the stuff herself and she's the narrator or what, but I feel so dumb sometimes reading their explanations

the gist of it, I believe, is that they don't know what's powering them to do what they do...or who

they can't really delve into it because a fire alarm goes off

I haven't blamed dulcinea for things yet but you know how I feel about her, they check on her and she's still alive, so she's still a threat in my book

they fix the alarm but they can't really delve into it because the Second has murdered Teacher (he wasn't alive but he kind of was, you know how it is) and ratted them out to the Emperor

but Teacher says "one of them" can't come back, which makes me think this isn't as simple as they think it is

the second is a goner btw

they were a goner the moment they thought they could take on Camilla The Everything, love of my life

but they can't really delve into it because mayonnaise uncle and duracell bunny nephew tell them the third have opened up abigail's body

they can't really delve into that either because palmolive figures out that abigail had a key inside her body and the third have gone through the door it opened

the third is like when you have a dog that's constantly making noise and then, for 10 straight minutes you don't hear them, so you just know they've done something bad

so gideon, harrowbean, palmolive, my qp wife, mayonnaise uncle and duracell bunny nephew all go to confront the third

yandere simulator twin is bloody and cryptic in the middle of the room

I could go on a tangent and talk about the madwoman archetype in victorian literature and how she's a representation of the 'lucia' archetype (no relation to me), dulcinea of the 'ophelia' and maybe regina george twin could be a closeted 'jane'

I'm not going to, though, you're welcome for that

so regina george twin is crying in a corner (gideon is emotionally doing the same, probably) and chad is dead on the ground

get wrecked, asshole

well, he's not dead-dead, nobody in this book is ever dead-dead, this is the hotel california of space

yandere twin has absorbed chad's ghost like piccolo and kami sama in dragon ball (rip akira toriyama)

she says she's figured it all out and the whole test was so a necro would soul-fuse with a cav, one flesh one blood one end one bed, I forgot how the oath went

I don't think she's figured it out because we're not ending this book yet

palmolive also doesn't think so

very important note: there's writing on the wall (literal and metaphorical) again saying "you lied to us" and it's the same writing that was featured before and we still don't know what that's about

so the eighth goes berserk and mayonnaise uncle wants to fight yandere twin for slurping chad's soul

duracell bunny nephew goes like "I'm not sure about this" and that was the moment I knew he was toast

I have already established I feel dumb reading the explanations but, for what I can understand, what the eighth does is that the necro detaches the soul of the cav and makes him astral project elsewhere for a time but there's always a tether to bring him back, if that is broken or he drifts too far he can't come back but other things could go into his body instead, or something like that

which is what happens

I thought that the recent dead had, because gideon says there were six people in him, and we've got 6 dead (protozoa, the unknown corpse, the 2 teens and the bride and groom), but idk

all this happens after yandere twin fights using chad's moves and some magic body jelly

this is body horror territory, there are tongues coming out of orifices that should not have tongues and goo flying all over the place

the eighth is dead at the end of it, yandere twin and her inner chad are gone and regina george twin is crying because she wanted to be the one absorbed, which I guess makes sense considering she was training with swords

you know, I had my suspicions that maybe she wasn't a necro after all, but harrow distracted me when she said she must have been a good one

so now we're down to: gideon, harrowbean, palmolive, my wife, regina george twin, yandere twin w/inner chad and dulcinea my mortal enemy

and whoever it is that's coming in after the second contacted whatever number there was in the space phone tree

also, protozoa was one of the two bodies that were cooked earlier on, we still don't know who the second is

there's more we don't know than what we do know

see you on the next one, if you're not yet tired of me

#luly reacts to tlt #tlt #gideon the ninth #tlt spoilers #the locked tomb #gideon the ninth spoilers #long post

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selitoxicmoon · 5 months

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[FNAF AU] The Glamrocks

"Let's bring a bright welcome to our redesigned, pushed to their potential and superstars to the Glamrocks!"

People have the desired for me to redesign the Glamrocks for my AU "Security Breach: Revision" so here they are!

I am so happy how is getting together this AU which the next step is bring 'em the introduction and start this AU! But don't worry! THIS IS NOT EVEN THE HALF OF ALL THE GANG AROUND THE MEGA PIZZA PLEX.

The Glamrock take their places in the show stage and their own places and rooms. The Glamrocks proceeds to be in Rockstar Row as their room locations, meanwhile the Glampops are in the Popstar Path in the opposite side of the Rockstar Row. Entering to the show stage located, Rockstar Row is placed on the left side, while Popstar Path is on the right side.

The Glamrocks and the Glampops doesn't... like each other that much, there's a misunderstanding between them, an argument of which is the best music genre: Pop or Rock? Meanwhile Glamrock Freddy hasn't got any problem about it as his Glampop version, the others seems to not understand that it can be a good mix between Pop and Rock.

The Recycled has no problems with non of those gangs, even tho, they're fascinated by their concerts in the show stage wishing someday to be able to perform regardless their looks.

Reminder of this AU:

"Security Breach: Revision" amplifies the size and space of the Mega Pizza Plex and brings a second chance and update to FNAF 2, 3, 4 and Sister Location animatronics. More new locations, reincoporated and modified animatronics for a better experience and new places to explore!

This AU would be shown as comic and doodles to make you know about the characters interaction with each animatronic and discover lore behind them. Details, facts, exploration and even more forward the actual story prologue before Security Breach, either way is a completely reimagined story of the actual game and universe which NON OF THIS IS CANON.

Animatronics are NOT Possessed by any children, or similar, no corpses inside the animatronics, nothing, they're clean and their personalities comes from advanced AI system programmed by the technicians and Fazbear Entertainment.

So with it, I can introduce you to them:

Glamrock Freddy: The leader, the rockstar, the best father figure you might ever seen (daddy issues?); Freddy is someone really caring and the main character of the megaplex, adored by many of course. He cares for the children, makes sure nobody's hurt, makes sure everyone is having a faz-errific day and a good stay, he gives joy and smiles and what he loves most is to be with the ones he cares most and help anyone in need. He's a good mentor by the way.

Glamrock Bonnie: The most respectful one, Bonnie is everyone's bestie and he's really extroverted. He has got no shame at all but he does everything right, a good icon to follow I tell ya, he takes the electric guitar side while Freddy sings. He's a cool guy and actually loves cooking along Chica, he takes the Bonnie Bowl place and his star meal is carrot cake!

Glamrock Chica: An extroverted fella full of energy but not too clean nor neat at all- Chica smells like strawberry pie because she BAKES! Rockstar and baker? Why not my guy, she loves pizza, sheloves food in general and her star meal is strawberry pie. Chica is passionated with her work as guitarrist, never stops rocking as a Barbie girl (bc of the colors)! She's kind and really warm friend to be with but she rarely goes by herself to someone. Seems she's making distances.

Roxanne Wolf: She's the best! A good rockstar, the best keytarrist, a badass mother to take care of your children in Roxy's Raceway. She has many fans and as her clothing looks like, she loves so much car races and anything vehicle related. She's a good racer but a bad loser, to any birthday kid losing a race, she goes straight away to stop those other racers trying to make the birthday boy to win. As the security guards requested to Roxy, she takes care of Cassie and she has full access and membership forever because her dad passed away by "strange circumstances" deep down the Pizza Plex (do not worry tho, Cassie has mother so she just comes visit the place often). Roxy might have a really high ego and pride but... she blames herself a lot when plans don't go as she would like to.

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thefirstknife · 8 months

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Do we know if a Guardian's previous life does affect their personality post-res, or do u think it differs from person to person?

Crow is a very good example. If I'm remembering right, he woke up with a residual feeling of his past life but is otherwise a very different person. Uldren was, for multiple reasons, fully capable of murder with no remorse afterwards. Crow, by contrast, especially after getting Uldren's memories, seems much more reluctant.

Then I seem to remember another example that's very different. A lore page from the view of a Ghost who's Guardian hated his immortality, who went around killing other Ghosts. I don't remember whether he thought it was a mercy to the dead, or just a hatred of the idea. I remember the Ghost saying that he should have thought about it longer, that he could have sense how tired of conflict this man was, indicating that a Guardian's previous life very much affects who they are afterwards

Definitely case by case basis, but yeah, overall certain aspects of Guardians' past lives can sort of "bleed through" into their new life. Most won't ever know because they can't remember it, but sometimes those that knew them before can tell that there's still something there.

Crow is absolutely the best example, not only for what you mentioned, but other little details. For example, Crow ended up being really fond of Eliksni and had a thing for telling stories, exploration and experimentation. Uldren was the same in that way. It's one of the reasons why it was so hard for those that knew Uldren to come to terms with Crow; so similar and yet fundamentally different. Mara and Jolyon took it the hardest since they knew him best. They could see a person that looks the same and has certain behaviours and interests that completely match the person they knew, but that person doesn't know them anymore and isn't going in the same direction in life anymore. It's an incredibly difficult thing to deal with.

The lore tab you're thinking of is this one. Because of how tired he was and hated being flung into this "second life," the Guardian (Cyrell) believed that nobody should suffer that fate, therefore he should just end Ghosts so that no one else is rezed to experience what he does:

He confessed he could not bear another battle nor fight in the name of something no one could possibly understand. Though he could not remember his past, he knew deep down that he had already fought his last war. He couldn't kill me. I was his friend. He doesn't kill friends. He wouldn't kill himself, either; that was cowardly, weak. And if the Ghosts' sole purpose was to raise the dead to kill in the name of unexplainable forces, he could no longer let that happen. He would end the cycle. He would spare his brothers- and sisters-in-arms. He would let the dead rest.

He also seems to be looking for an answer from the Awoken about something, but the question he has is unknown. Really interesting and quite upsetting view into how some Guardians view being Guardians and how that works with their relationship of what they feel about their previous lives.

#destiny 2 #crow #guardian #ghost #ask

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lil-lost-mind · 3 months

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(This is a bit of a along post about my general experience in the qsmp fandom, both good and bad, and it does mention xenophobia but not direct experiences)

I'm happy to see people here being so nice and reminding that we(Brazilians) are welcome here

I was really hesitant about interacting with fandom at first, I actually was there the Brazilians arrived because suddenly tazercraft live appeared for me on YouTube, I joined for a moment but didn't stay long, but I did look about it later. Because Brazilians youtubers/streamers are on a server with a bunch of people from other countries? I was curious about what this would lead to

Didn't regret it, but since then, I was a bit scared of interacting on fandom. Some comments on clips were fine. But then I started using tumblr because of a friend's recommendation, I kept a look on what was happening on lore on general but didn't really interact on fandom. Hence why I created this blog, and also why it took me so long to link this blog to my main one

Because, well, if I got hate for any reason, it would only be a sideblog that I only posted about qsmp. I could just delete it or just ignore them

I am by nature a person who is very shy to talk about my interests, it might have nothing wrong about it but I'm shy, I'm the type of person who goes on asks box on anon because is too shy, even if I'm not doing anything wrong there's this fear of judgemeent.

In the light of the recent events, I am once again reminded that's why I don't use or plan to use Twitter, but still I couldn't avoid but feel... scared in a way, I don't think anyone would like to be treated that way. And even a bit ashamed of saying that I'm brazilian. Ashamed might not be the right word, but there's this feeling wich is similar, and while I'm proud of being a brazilian, I just... maybe invalidate is a more fitting word, it's just feels like my culture is unimportant compared to others.

And this is what it seems, in my understanding, what looks like suffering from xenophobia is, but I imagine it's worse suffering it directly ofc, and ironically, I don't think I ever felt like that for those reasons before. And while I can't talk about how it feels when suffering from it directly, I feel bad for the people who had to go through it(not only Brazilians). Nobody should feel ashamed of their culture or ethnicity

Ofc tumblr isn't free of people like that. After all, no social media will be free from intolerance. But it feels like it's harder to see it. But I can't emphasize enough how it makes me happy to see so many people saying their blog is a safe place for us. After seeing this stuff, it makes things better, for me, at least. It reminds me that my culture isn't less important than any other

And qsmp brought something beautiful, the unity of communities. Because even with those bad things happening, it's not the only thing in fandom, it happens, and any fandom has this, unfortunately. But I love to see every time someone talks about their culture, facts about their languages, to see people motivated in learning new languages. It's beautiful and makes me happy each time

I don't regret making myself part of the fandom, the opposite, really, I've met creators that I would have never without the qsmp. I've met amazing people there, I've found incredible artists and writers. I've had fun

I've found the motivation to learn new languages again, more passion to draw

And I'm thankful to everyone there who is incredibly nice and so made me more comfortable interacting here, even if they will probably never know

So despite everything, I think it was worth it

Was worth reading character analysis and theories, enjoying stories, seeing fanart and animatics, learning new language facts and about other cultures. Was worth seeing people being happy

Again, I'm very thankful for all the people who made me, and I'm going to assume a lot of other people who needed to hear that, comfortable and validate here, I can't express how much this made me happy, I hope everyone coming from twitter have a good time here<3

And a very big and sincere "VAI TOMAR NO CU" to any xenophobic and racist person

I know very few people will see this, or even read everything, but I had to say this somewhere, so yeah, I'm rambling on tumblr again:D

#qsmp #qsmp fandom #I have no idea of what to put in the tags #why are those so hard???#lil's rambling #also it's flipping 3:40 am for me #my schedule is so screwed

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jagi11 · 8 months

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If there’s one shameless headcanon about Maria I have is that she LOVES fancy underwear. She would never I mean it NEVER wear any plain undies unless she absolutely has to. She likes to be classy even when nobody can see! This is what that one drawing was about. Like, I know they wouldn’t put lace panties on the Maria plushie for reasons I can understand BUT STILL! CRUELTY!

This was the beginning of a big big rant on Twitter about my underwear headcanons for my various AUs so bear with me (under the cut!)

Butterfly Agenda has probably the most lore but is the least explored for obvious reasons. I can’t really make you know them without making the comic spoilery can’t I? But still let me tell you that Prince Basa binds with bandages. Her thing is that she kinda struggles with her gender expression and sexuality because well a heir to the throne liking girls??? Can you even do that??? Of course she can but she thinks about it too much.

If you think about it, none of my AU Basas wear proper bras, because Bird probably doesn’t know what these are and Vow is a guy so he doesn’t have to have ones. EVEN SO I genuinely believe he’s the most knowledgable solely through getting dragged around shops by his Maria

… have you ever thought about how Vow technically has top surgery scars but. on the back….

… can you tell I’ve been thinking about this song way too much lately guys

#I swear why can’t tumblr queues be spread more I want to post once every couple days I really don’t have much stuff #symphogear #senki zesshou symphogear #maria cadenzavna eve #kazanari tsubasa #tsubasa kazanari #tsubamari #I genuinely hope I won’t have to add onto this topic #because I kinda feel uncomfy talking about something like this #at least implied #jagi draws poorly

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shirolian · 2 months

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Star Crossed Myth - Review of Zyglavis, Hue and Scorpio

My current Star Crossed Myth career is at its peak - I wholly finished three routes (yes, that much, envious?) and now I need to unleash my brainrot. The finished routes: Zyglavis, Hue, Scorpio - in this order. 2:1 for Punishments but I suppose that is not surprise given that this game subverts the expectations of how gods should be and Punishments gods are mostly mewling kittens.

Zyglavis route as whole was, how to put it, felt like I dated a man who is older than me by 20 years. Comforting, reliable but also very lonesome and sometimes distant experience. His later parts of story were frustrating but this time the meme "my life is living hell and I have nobody but myself to blame" applies. The King shockingly is not the antagonist in this route, Zyglavis rigidity is. As much as I love strict meganes who are kind souls inside, I couldn't feel the real love and connection between him and his MC. Favorite scene in his route: The realization in his main story, where he finally acknowledged that he loves MC. The tenderness was palapable as he wiped her tears and whispered "you cry for others?" - it was very defining moment that rekindled his faith in humanity Favorite scene with Zyglavis overall: His infamous arrival in Hue's route where he breaks through window 😂 Route rating: 7,5/10

Hue... I kind of regret that I did his second. I should definitely do him last. So if you plan to play, don't do the same stupid mistake like I did. His route is full of lore and background about MC. The background especially will cause you LOTS of pain if you do his route early and then proceed to other gods. Relationship with Hue felt just right. Like two halves of one soul united and in a sense, it's true. Two halves of stars reunited 😭 I mean how much more of "their love is destiny" vibes can this get? Their banter was entertaining and witty, ocassionaly MC really flipped the tables back on Hue and it was amusing to see his reaction. Hue is definitely the brain in this relationship but his MC is not stupid either - rather, she is jealous and insecure. If you read my previous post where I ranted about this, you will understand what I mean. The ending of whole route was very unsatisfactory and the jelaousy plot of MC's was dominant arc, which annoyed the hell out of me. You know what would be absolutely perfect ending for Hue? If he got Scorpio's ending. Here, I said it. Favorite scene in his route: When MC travels back in time and is Clotho. Then she dies and we can see the aftermath - Hue, standing in the darkness of his room and MC clinging to his lifeless, breathing body. He just pulled out his eye for her, effectively crippling himself in the name of love even if the result was uncertain. The sheer rawness of the moment, the despair and mourning - it all deeply resonated with me. Favorite scene with Hue overall: The sequel (?) ending where Hue and MC talk their feelings and MC admits that she thought the source of Hue's uneasiness was his dissatisfaction with their lovemaking. Hue is literally speechless for a moment because it would never ever occur to him that THIS was one of MC's concerns. The aftermath to this scene is 🌶️🌶️🌶️

Rating: 9,5/10 - I blame overused jelaousy plot. Once, it was nice. Using it all the time was rather tiresome.

Scorpio, the local tsundere god from Wish- ahem, Heavens. He definitely is the most rude LI that I had the honor to date 😂 I don't really like tsundere types and at first, I really couldn't warm up to Scorpio. But his scene with train tickets won me over - man was extremely cute 😂 However, in terms of relationship, his and MC's reminds me of italian couple - they argue, loudly and violently, and then they probably hate-fuck or make up. Not the most healthy dynamic on the market but hey, it's otome, red flags are welcome. Needless to say, that Scorpio became green flag in disguise. His explosive vocabulary and prickliness won't go ever away but he softens significantly and opens up to MC. It was very heartwarming to see the progress fromt he begining, where he couldn't read MC's emotions at all to the end, where one look at her face was enough for him to deduce what she is thinking. The constant source of comedy in this route was Scorpio's mind reading ability and his open defiance to the King. Yes, the King. If I thought that the King was extremely tame in Hue's route, in Scorpio's the King is main antagonist and the biggest dick in universe. "Sparkly bastard. Sorry excuse for a king. That bitch." - Scorpio, circa 2015 This route had absolutely the best ending of all three - literally the ideal outcome that I wished would happen in Hue's. The real promise of Infinity together. I don't know what I expected but it really was not the most romantic rendition of Sleeping Beauty. Favorite scene in this route: Rabbit. Apples. The first time when they come up, the scene is SO darn cute. Then the apples become the staple of the route and source of comfort between MC and Scorpio. CUTE. Favorite scene with Scorpio overall: My knees went weak from that CG and moment where Scorpio and MC couldn't touch each other. They were in MC's apartment and Scorpio was about to leave. The longing, the love, the passion when they touched and kissed as the glass window separated them... *slaps seal of forbbiden longing* This is how it should be done. Rating: 10/10, no regrets. They said fuck the King and really did it.

#scm #star crossed myth #scm huedhaut #huedhaut #scm zyglavis #zyglavis #scm scorpio #scorpio

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catbountry · 6 months

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Hi, I'm the one who made the Respawn of the Dead page on Fanlore. I'm sorry about the misinformation about you being an admin and it's fixed to be accurate now to say you were just a mod.

And I'm sorry about not disclosing that you've since distanced yourself from that site. Thats now in there too. I respect you as a fic writer both for your fic (loved the TF2 Harlan Ellison and Steven King-inspired ones) and because it's impressive that you've kept your username for so long. I think that literally everyone who's been online long enough can theoretically be "canceled" on the Internet if everything they've ever done was connected to only one pseud, including myself. Fandom's honestly a minefield that doesn't take to cultural changes at all. The culture of, say, 4chan, Tf2chan, those things, it's so different compared to today. Same with Kiwifarms when it was just known for being the CWCwiki. One day, the culture of social media will be just like those, and I think being able to own up to who you were then to compare with how you are now, as a better person, is a respectable skill to have.

I don't know everything you've done, (I know some of the Vade thing and some of what's on the receipt blog,) but it seems some Fannish people just see "Kiwifarms" and think you're supporting the site as it is currently, which wasn't what it was back in the 2010s. I tried to be very neutral since I figured TF2 Tumblr/Twitter would find my article first, but now it's more positive on you and your body of work on there. I'm sorry that the article brought up old wounds, hopefully all misinfo on it is fixed now.

Wow, I actually wasn't sure if I'd get a response. Thank you for being so considerate, for enjoying my fic, and being so understanding. I used the same pseud for years because, well, I'm proud of Respawn of the Dead, warts and all. I don't want to distance myself from it and I'm okay with it being my legacy. Also I'm just absolutely lousy at hiding myself. If I changed my name, people would figure out it's me, so I don't really bother.

If you don't mind, just for the sake of fandom oral history, I'd like to expand upon the period of Medic being a Nazi in fandom. This might be interesting to you as somebody interested in TF2 fandom lore.

Medic being a Nazi was assumed by a lot of fans, due to him fitting a bunch of "Nazi mad scientist" tropes. This remained the case until fans went to Valve's headquarters and straight up asked an employee if he was, to which they were told "no." And then people stopped writing Nazi Medic (for the most part) because it wasn't canon. People still made art but again, we did not know the horrors that the future had in store for us.

It really is wild to think how drastically things have shifted politically online since the late 2000's, when nobody could have predicted that being a Nazi would be anything but the most fringe of fringe, and these people would be regarded as internet sideshows to be gawked at and trolled. Also, Respawn of the Dead was written around the time Inglorious Basterds came out, so there were a lot of sexy Nazis or repentant Nazis in certain fandoms at the time.

There was a TF2 fic, I believe it was called Do No Harm, that legit had Medic working in a concentration camp in a position where he felt like he had to work there or he'd be shot, and he ate human flesh given to him by an evil, Aryan Nazi OC. I don't know if the author distanced herself from the work, because she did re-work it to make it into an original novel that she sold on Amazon. I absolutely could not see anything written like this now that wasn't some kind of dogwhistle, but the author was pretty progressive, actually. So much so we had a fight while I was in my anti-SJW phase and she did not appreciate me bringing up the things she wrote about that emphasized the humanity of a Nazi character, who in all fairness, did deflect in her story. I'm sure she's probably put a lot more distance between herself and that story in the years since, given the way things have gone since Trump's presidency. I wouldn't know, though, since we don't talk, and haven't in nearly a decade.

The person who wrote that is probably forgotten by anybody who wasn't in the fandom at the time, even though she was known for this fic and it was praised almost universally when it was being updated. But she was not the only one doing this. I cannot emphasize enough just how far in the past Nazis felt to us. At the time, being a Nazi was a stupid way of thinking that would never come back outside of attention-hungry edgelords co-opting its imagery, especially in America, an allied nation that loves using Nazis as villains in its media. If you told any of us in 2009 that fascism and white nationalism would make a comeback in America, we would not have believed you unless you were counting neoconservatives and evangelical white Christians as Nazis, and while I think a lot of those people are now pretty much that nowadays, back then it would have been a little bit of a stretch. But the thing is, the white supremacy on an institutional level was always there. We didn't really notice it until it started being pointing out, and at the same time, a bunch of fuckin' white nationalists and neo-Nazis just started popping up all over the place because someone with blue hair and pronouns told them a video game character having her titties out was bad or something. I'm still not entirely sure how that escalated that quickly, but Jesus Christ. It's a shame "clown world" got used mostly by right-wing people online because the label feels pretty apt and also applies to them a lot more. There is something deeply pathetic but also kind of hilarious about filming yourself letting a gas stove burn, or shooting cases of beer to own the libs.

I think most people that used TF2chan are pretty progressive now, a lot of them have come out as some flavor of queer, and the use of "-fag" as a suffix is frowned upon in the official TF2chan Discord server as being incredibly childish and cringey. We were all young adults but clearly we had a lot of growing up to do. I think it is important to point out that a lot of this edgelord shit done at the time, while hurtful and not cool, was done by a lot of people who hadn't figured out who they were yet, and weren't really bad people. Dr. Tanner, who was actually the first person to write a TF2 longfic and beat Respawn of the Dead by at least a few months with the first version of The Lessons (which is gone now), got cited by name in an interview with an old TF2chan user for being really racist, sexist, homophobic and transphobic, only to completely turn around once he came out as trans. I think a lot of this behavior kind of functioned as a shield, because there was still a separation between the internet and real life. Now, there's more people on the internet with less websites people visit, and fandom spaces where everyone is an adult are harder to find. Everything is very politically charged now. The right-wing is further to the right than it was even when I was a teenager and a young adult during Bush's presidency, which given that we got into two forever wars under his administration, is insane to think about. It doesn't feel real, but it is.

So yeah, that's why nobody writes or draws Medic as a Nazi anymore, and that's a good thing. Sorry for the tl;dr.

If you have any questions about old TF2chan and TF2 fandom, I'd be happy to answer them.

#tf2 #cavewomania #tl;dr #political bullshit #drama #I guess

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jorisjurgen · 1 year

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The Crepin-Lore Manifesto.

Part 3: Painful History

[PART 1]

[PART 2]

So, was Kerubim Crepin a good brother?

A bad brother?

For Atcham, it doesn't seem like his vendetta is due to being mistreated by Kerubim. It's not even subtext.

He's perfectly aware he's just using Kerubim to have someone to blame.

But it doesn't necessarily mean that Kerubim wasn't a bad brother.

As we've seen in The Wheel Of Fate... At the time of their childhood, he hated Atcham, viciously.

Or, he was scared of being othered, like him.

My personal pet theory, is that Atcham couldn't take life at the orphan temple anymore, being bullied for his differences.

Kerubim watched, and did nothing about any of this. They were just children, after all.

If Kerubim suffered so much from spending a single day in his brother's shoes, is it really that hard to imagine what Atcham's life was like?

Atcham lost his family too, just like Kerubim.

Nobody ever helped him. And in the end, he was probably treated as if it was his own fault, that he was mistreated.

This sort of thing would fit in, with his characterization.

He's not a bad person, just embittered by his life.

Even as an adult, he's at best treated like an ugly, neurotic freak. Despite his status as a terrifying assassin, he is not respected, just feared.

And being so old, he rightfully has no reason to believe that the world is better than that. Atcham doesn't have anyone in his corner.

And with how Kerubim, and life itself, seem to treat him, I don't blame him.

But what does Kerubim actually think about Atcham?

Because... things aren't so cut-and-dry.

Say - which character related to Kerubim looks unlike most people - enough to, perhaps, be bullied for it - and has lost their parents?

...Yeah. You know what I'm insinuating.

Loving two Black Sheep, and Parallels

...One of the things I never addressed in the last post, is the fact that besides guilt borne of thinking he took Julith's life...

Kerubim carries guilt for Atcham, too. Despite the way he often talks about him, he feels protective of his little brother.

Even the fact that he made sure that Joris wouldn't have issues with his body like how Atcham had, saying that he himself is just some guy, while Joris is special, says a lot.

Seeing an orphan, who was sure to take the brunt of that hatred upon himself if anyone knew his mother was Julith, and who looked so different from others...

How could he not think they were similar? How could he ever not want to protect him?

When Kerubim is being vulnerable, all the insults he has for Atcham dissipate.

I like to think that both Indie and Atcham were brothers that had ruined his life, yet made it worth living.

But in the end, all that's left is, well, the knowledge that he can't fix this, and the desire to, at the very least, have Joris by his side.

...The only reason Atcham ever listened to Joris was their similarity, as well as Joris's age and convictions.

But the only reason he gave family and hope a second chance - is someone finally stepping in to protect him.

And, of all the things Kerubim ever said about Atcham, only this scene really matters.

Aaaand, this draws my insane, three-part compilation of esoterically connected infodumping about the most insane family of Krosmoz to a close. Can you tell I wrote 2 giant character study fics about them yet? Can you feel that I have like 30 wip ideas in my head still?

This is just my thoughts about Atcham and Kerubim, so you know that thoughts about Joris buzz in my brain like bees - especially considering ecaflip demigods keep their memories, and what it means for this trio's relationship. Maybe one day I'll write a post about that too, but that day is NOT today.

These three love each other so much, and I hope I could make you understand what I see in them, just a little bit, after reading this.

#krosmoz #dofus #atcham crepin #kerubim crepin #kerub crespin #joris jurgen #myanalysis #ro.txt #I am insane and diseased. bless.#wakfu

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mayxthexforce · 4 months

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⭐️ ― convincing portrayal of a canon character

💻 ― excellent writing

🌼 ― creative headcanons

🎙️ ― great to talk to

📚 ― nice threads to read

🎀 ― all-around kind person

🥇 ― well-developed oc

😍 ― admiring from afar

📌 ― a staple on the dash

🏆 ― 10/10 blog, would recommend

🧡 ― sender's choice ( sender can add whatever category they want ) - MICA I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU ❤️ you're the best mwah thanks for being such an awesome and cool friend ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ having you in my life has been PHENOMENAL!!! Thanks tons for the awesome joyride

💜 ― receiver's choice ( simply shout out whoever

🐝 * ― 𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑻-𝑶𝑼𝑻𝑺 𝑶𝑭 𝑨𝑾𝑬𝑺𝑶𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑬𝑺𝑺.

*-cracks knuckles-* alright, let's do this!

⭐️ ― convincing portrayal of a canon character

Shout-out goes to @prodijedi. I love Callie's Dooku, he has so much depth and layers and cares so much about the people he loves deep down but is too deep in the mess he made and doesn't know how to show it, but Callie doesn't erase the fact that he has done terrible things.

💻 ― excellent writing

Shouting at @tacticalvalor for this one. So far, I've only interacted with Paz but I love him, and I love how well he's written. Jay has a way of making Paz so expressive despite the fact he's covered head to toe in armor and -understandably- unwilling to take it off. His inner thoughts are always a delight to read and the things he says always manage to crack me up.

🌼 ― creative headcanons

I think there isn't a single person in this fandom that's not creative when it comes to headcanons because we're all pretty big brained with them. But if I have to name just one, I'm gonna go with @thrawnur I LOVE YOUR HEADCANONS PJ! And I love the HCs and worldbuilding we've worked on together for Chiss. Our blueberries deserve more lore!!

🎙️ ― great to talk to

Shout-out to @corruptedforce/@crowsandmurder because Tanya is that one person you can always count on to be up to talk about literally anything. Everything I know about baseball, I learned from her. I also always love yelling with her about the stupid Star Wars questions people ask on Quora (still not over the person who had the audacity to ask why Obi-Wan didn't just kill Anakin, I'm outside their house with a baseball bat).

📚 ― nice threads to read

To this day, I still go into @d4gangera's blog just to read the stuff KT writes, and not just the threads I'm in, but everything she writes. I love how she writes Dagan, his inner monologues, his trauma after spending decades in bacta, his issues with the Jedi Order and the Empire and this new era he got yeeted into. I love it all.

🎀 ― all-around kind person

@vendettavalor IS THE KINDEST BEAN EVER!! I'm still absorbing all the analogical horror stuff that you recommended me and you bet I'm going to be yelling in your DMs once I'm caught up.

🥇 ― well-developed oc

Shout-out to @gwiazdowe for Cirz. HE'S BABEY!! I love him and how kind he is and how he sees good in people that nobody else would see good in. But he's not dumb. He's a smart boy and he deserved the world, I'm protecting him at all costs.

😍 ― admiring from afar

Not really from that far because we've actually talked but I have yet to start a thread with @alootus and that is a crime I should be in jail for. But I'm admiring because the blog theme is just so PRETTY, I love the color palette and the graphics.

📌 ― a staple on the dash

I love seeing @kylo-wrecked's posts on the dash. From the aesthetic stuff to replies to answers to ask memes, it's always god tier content!

🏆 ― 10/10 blog, would recommend

@ofthestcrs AMAZING MUN, AMAZING CHARACTERS, AMAZING BLOG! Gee is one of the first people I interacted with in this fandom and honestly, I'm holding on like an orphaned monkey. 10/10 will not be letting go anytime soon.

💜 ― receiver's choice ( simply shout out whoever you want )

#WELP this one got long #||out of character||#||answered ask||#vanillahub #ALSO VANIIIII YOU'RE SO SWEET 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂#||positivity||

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jjtheresidentbaby · 6 months

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Little Spencer ‘Spider’ White headcanons

♡ attached to day 6 moodboard for fictionalagerechallange

notes: I ignored canon for a minute so I can do whatever I want — also this more so turned into me rambling about a fic idea I have in form of bullet points hshjsj

warnings: set in a classification au, talk of underage drinking/smoking weed, spider being insecure about his regression, swearing, his parents aren’t great, just angst tw

talk about repression. god he wouldn’t know what healthy coping is if it slapped him in the face

so so insecure about being a little to the point that he just doesn’t tell anyone — yeah this backfires…

has this whole “system” where he forces himself not to regress (even if he really needs to) until he’s alone and 100% sure that nobody’s going to bother him or risk anyone finding out

even Ant & Dusty don’t know for a while

because it all comes crashing down — as does most genius ideas Spencer gets tbh, he’s horrible at good decisions okay

but back to before anyone else finds out — his regression is kept to time alone in his room, maybe a kids movie going if he can convince himself that it won’t be the end of the world to allow himself some comfort

him hating the fact that he’s a little definitely bleeds into the times he’s actually regressed, he has a hard time relaxing fully, refuses to buy himself any little gear aside from what he already has, just lacking proper self care even more than normal

his regression is super emotional and taxing for him, which means he avoids it even more

can not stand when people make jokes about him possibly being a little — and everyone knows it so ofc they do it more

takes to drinking and smoking weed a lot heavier once he gets his classification and is hit with all that insecurity

the only backfire of this is that occasionally if he smokes too much he’ll start to slip and have to make up some excuse to either go home or drink enough to get blackout drunk and distract his mind

panics anytime another little is around him and asks him to play or really anything — people usually assume he’s just a neutral that has no idea what he’s doing

promptly ignores any speeches or comments in media or told at school about how important it is for littles to regress regularly and how not regressing can cause serious harm

he’s fine. definitely fine.

until he’s not and something happens and he’s suddenly involuntarily slipping into little space about to go into a panic attack because he’s around people and can’t leave

whoever finds him in that state deserves a gold star for weeding through his cries and mumbles to figure out what the hells going on

so sooooo resistant to having a caregiver around once he’s found out — still denies he’s a little, while he’s regressed, because yeah that’ll totally work

eventually Malakai & Amerie get him to talk about it, cause he lowkey can’t say no to either of them and they’re the most coaxing patient cg’s ever

they’re downright horrified when they find out how long he’s been going without regressing and how badly he’s been taking care of himself

Malakai almost cries seeing the pathetic 1 pacifier & sippy cup & 2 stuffed animals that Spider thinks suffices as enough little gear

the whole SLT’s group is equally as taken back by this information and promptly go on an online shopping spree to get Spider some new/better little gear

he doesn’t talk much while he’s regressed, falling more towards the baby space side of regression

clings to anyone that’ll let him once he gets over the whole ‘nah I don’t need a cg’ thing that goes on for a while

really likes sitting with Quinni and listening to her talk about Angeline of the Underworld lore — he might not understand it but he likes hearing her talk and she always has fun stickers/makeup on or little clips in her hair that he likes

has apologized a million times over for everything that he did — he’s been throughly assured that it’s okay and he’s forgiven but he still catches himself apologizing again

even once the group finds out he’s a little and he gets more comfortable in his classification there’s still times he doesn’t regress when he should or still falls into the feeling of being insecure about his regression

horrible at communicating things when small

has sat through entire conversations about Big topics™️ while small and only said something when someone asked his opinion on it — every cg in the group has tried to talk him out of the habit, it doesn’t work

practically every person he ever “hated” while big becomes his new favorite person when he’s small — he gets throughly teased for this

Sasha reluctantly lets him sit with her while she plans out whatever protest she’s going to be a part of — she’d never say it but she doesn’t find Spider that bad when he’s regressed

Harper also falls into the reluctant cg status when Spider’s small

Quinni would too if she wasn’t so forgiving and sweet, she could never be reluctant about taking care of anyone and yeah that includes Spider

Darren hates this. But they don’t take it out on Spider when he’s small as they aren’t mean but it’s definitely known when he’s big

his parents suck for a plethora of reasons but especially once he gets his classification — he doesn’t talk about it often or even acknowledge that his home life isn’t great, but sometimes when he’s regressed he’ll get triggered into crying fits over what his parents have said/done

the SLT’s group hate his parents. all of them.

if he can help it, he won’t be at home and will go to a caregivers house or find some activity to do

Ant’s parents also suck so they spend a lot of time at Malakai’s together

if Spider’s regressed and Ant’s around it is pure chaos, absolute madness, the caregivers of the group have to reign them in all the time

Malakai & Amerie are definitely Spider’s favorite caregivers and he’s shameless about it. nobody’s really surprised tho

he also clings to Dusty quite a bit

#heartbreak high agere #little!spider white #spencer spider white #fictionalagerechallenge #jj headcanons

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