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puppetmaster13u · 4 months

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So I am rotating the batfamily, but not like, civilian or vigilante. I am slowly rotating them all having a Malone-sona of sorts that is their in to organized crime.

Like you can't tell me people wouldn't start noticing this family that the bats, the literal cryptids and monsters of Gotham, don't even touch and lets continue to operate despite taking the older crime families apart.

And to Gotham that screams power.

Alfred = Albert “Old Al” Malone I wanna say that he doesn't go out as 'Old Al' often, but gives off Godfather sort of vibes. Usually sitting there with an old cane (that definitely has a sword, they're all dramatic like that lol) half in the dark with a cup of tea or other drink. He gets to stretch his acting skills and honestly the kids definitely had a say in the persona. Old Al is something they all made together and they have fun implying so much fun shit.

Kate = Mary “Madam” Malone She definitely gives off 'snap your spine over her knee if not for the fact it would get your blood all over her clothes' vibes. Stylized nails, hair up in fishtail braids or ponytails or whatever, looks like she could tear out ones throat and they'd thank her. It's a running gag that she's in finances, even if no one in the underbelly believes it.

Bruce = “Matches” Malone I mean, it's classic Matches (though most probably assume that Matches isn't his real name) who seems rather chill until someone breaks the rules. Gives off vibes that he doesn't usually get his own hands dirty but will do so to make a point, and enjoy doing it. He sometimes uses Matches to check in on places he can't as a shadowy cryptid, and it's not like the lower income areas would fully trust Brucie Wayne.

Barbara = Madison “Maddie” Malone Now let's be honest, Barbara enjoys messing with people, she enjoys knowing every little thing as Oracle, and she definitely does that as Maddie. The thing is, no one knows how she learns about things, other criminals search for a traitor, for a leak, for anything, and get nothing. Which is utterly terrifying. Because there has to be some sort of information network, there has to be. And somehow they're so good that they're indistinguishable to any others.

Dick = Micheal “Mikey” Malone Honestly Dick uses this chance to get into a bunch of fights just for fun. Flirts a bit more freely but doesn't really have an interest in actually getting with someone. Just has funs and is known for throwing his own parties that usually end in free-for-all brawls. He absolutely loves being able to have parties that are the opposite of galas he's usually dragged into.

Cass = Molly Malone She's quiet and graceful, but she takes it to unnerving levels as Molly. Looks slim but carries guns on her at all time to better differentiate between Cassandra Wayne, Black Bat, and Molly Malone. Everyone knows if you need a weapon, guns, meelee, whatever, she's the one you go to. Gotham help you if you cross her though.

Jason = Peter “Petey” Malone Where Molly Malone goes, everyone knows Petey will be there as well. Jason absolutely adores the time he gets to do so, it's his turn to be silent and dramatic. Everyone can recognize the jagged scar over his neck, they can recognize it from corpses the Bats have gotten their talons on. Honestly he's delighted in being able to be Cass' enforcer of sorts and just have a good fight. Even if he complains about how making his Malone mute makes it where he can't quote Shakespeare like he wants to.

Steph = “Mia” Malone Ah yes, the explosive Malone. The one who has more arson charges than Firefly. Or at least she would if she was caught, but the entire Underbelly knows it was her. Steph is living her best life being able to pull all sorts of pranks and crazy shit and takes several ideas from Harley. Honestly she probably smells like gasoline or smoke all the time, and definitely put glitter in her hair. Maybe even has red hair as a Malone as well.

Tim = Alvin “Al” Malone He still goes by Alvin Draper too, which results in half the underbelly thinking that Draper is his middle name. Honestly he's having the best time, everyone knows to come to him for forgeries and less than legal identities, which he loves to create. I mean just look at how many new identities he creates for himself alone. He enjoys this type of thing, and hey, it's so easy to keep track of whose identity is fake when you're the one who made them. Plus it also lets him do good for those on the run for good reasons, a way to make sure people are safe.

Duke = Dennis “Denny” Malone Everyone knows Denny was adopted, but y'know what, I bet they don't care. And you know Duke is utterly insane, like jump off a bridge to escape the cops and create the We are Robin gang insane. And he gets to play that up as Denny. He will put forth the most batshit ideas and actually pull them off. I bet he uses his future-sight to cheat at different games and pool tables and all sorts of things, but no one can ever prove it. Because there is no proof, and the other people playing just has to deal with it.

Damian = “Mini M” Malone The little baby of the family, who everyone knows the older Malones absolutely dote over. This is his chance to act like an actual child, just with a hint of art theft. Hey, it wasn't like they got it legally either, so it's free game, especially if they weren't taking proper care of the art or a pet. He's just pleased to get to have even more pets, and that Goliath his demon dragon-bat gets to go on walkies.

Jarro = Jadan “Lil J” Malone Now Jarro is delighted to have a third mech, and is even more delighted for people to believe Damian (or technically M jr) and him are twins. Gives off someone is going to die- of fun with Mini M, and honestly enjoys being able to use his natural telepathy to be a small horror movie child that knows too much. Like will stare up at someone with wide eyes covered in blood and the others in Gotham's underbelly still aren't sure if the blood was his or someone elses. (it was neither)

================================================

Honestly I might write a oneshot or something for the Cryptid Batfam focusing on just them as the Malones family.

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lee-the-yeen · 1 month

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I’m yelling into the void a bit more about Don’t Starve, don’t mind me. Specifically about Wilson, his medical know-how, his weird relationship with death, and the origin of his Forbidden Knowledge.

Let’s start with the easy one, Wilson being medically trained.

To start, Wilson’s quote for the Peg Leg.

Then in the Forge, Wilson’s special ability is to revive his teammates twice as fast with more health.

Wilson’s Victorian Skin is an old-timey doctor, even mentioning the four humors (even if that practice was far outdated by the Victorian Era).

I remember once seeing a quote about Wilson getting kicked out of a school for setting something on fire, but take that with a grain of salt because I am struggling to find it.

Now onto Wilson’s weirdness with death of his fellow man.

It’s clear the Constant has left him quite jaded with death as a concept, which is very fair.

But you cannot tell me that a man with a normal view of death would find a skeleton under the floorboards of his new house and just…put the boards back. Or hell, that skeleton is very likely to be the one we see strung up in Wilson’s lab in the very first short!

There’s also Wilson’s quote for Skeletons from Don’t Starve classic:

As well as his disregard for the sanctity of graves.

So yeah. He isn’t normal about human death, just like how he isn’t exactly normal about science.

Wilson is confirmed to be the creator of several items that everyone is able to craft and use.

Obviously the Meat Effigy, but it doesn’t stop there.

Maxwell isn’t particularly enthused about the Think Tank:

The Fire Pump is bemoaned to be his:

The Booster Shot is another item he’s very likely to have made, seeing as he’s the only one truly enthusiastic about it. Further connects him to his medical know-how, as well.

From the Survival Tips, Wilson is also very likely to be the one to have made the first Telltale Heart.

Revive: “We nearly lost one of our numbers today. In a mad daze I created…something…that managed to pull our friend back to the land of the living, but…whatever it was, I fear I cannot rightfully say it was within the realm of science…” -W

Gardeneer: “I’ve finally perfected my design for an ingenious (if I do say so myself) device that stores important garden-based knowledge. Certain naysayers might point out that it looks like nothing more than an overturned flowerpot worn on the head…some people simply don’t have an eye for science.” -W

The tips are (almost) all signed with a W, but it’s clear who wrote these ones, especially since Wilson wore the Gardeneer hat during the Reap What You Sow trailer.

That hat leads me to my next point. It is something that Wilson made, he invented it.

Then tell me why you are able to upgrade it at the Ancient Pseudoscience Station, when literally everything else you can do at it is craft fully ancient artifacts?

And doesn’t the storage of knowledge sound eerily familiar? Such as…

Whatever depths Maxwell snagged Wilson’s Forbidden Knowledge from, it definitively has origins with the Ancients.

Which…

…is quite concerning.

#dst #dont starve #dont starve together #dst wilson #wilson percival higgsbury #character analysis #yeen babbles #i wrote this at midnight just like the last one lol #thank you for reading my dumb rambles

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fancifulplaguerat · 11 months

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“Any choice is right as long as it’s willed” may be one of my favorite lines in the entirety of Patho Classic and I’m obsessed with looking at how Artemy perceives his autonomy within the framing of that quote

Replaying Artemy’s route I noticed that he has fewer dialogue options than Daniil or Clara, and overall seems to have the most conversations where the player is only afforded one dialogue option. Admittedly I was bothered by this because having returned from the Changeling route I was cracking my knuckles to analyze how Artemy feels like an outsider in town, how he could foreseeably reject his path just as Daniil or Clara—in the Changeling Route, Artemy is often likened to Daniil as an outsider, but that sentiment is far weaker in his own story than in Clara’s. I was vexed about it because that would’ve been interesting to explore, but I think it’s because in the Haruspex route we play as Artemy ascending to his role, that is the plot for us and for him. Everything the player does in his route to progress the game necessitates that we choose this “claiming my father’s duty” path, so that it feels strange to me from a character perspective to get to those final days and say “actually I want nothing to do with this” because while there are occasional dialogue options where Artemy expresses his hesitancy, he doesn’t have the same option to oppose his path like Daniil or Clara; he doesn’t get to have any vehement “actually fuck this town I don’t belong here or want to be here” options until the final days, which feels wildly dissonant considering it comes post-hole excursion and killing Oyun. It feels like the only way to leave Artemy’s beaten path is just not to play, which is why I see his route and way he perceives his autonomy as deeply linked to “When every step you take has been predicted, you are still free to either take it or not.”

I also feel that Artemy has the most concrete “sense of self” in comparison to Daniil and Clara, though of course he can assume different characterizations depending on how one roleplays as him. I think that feeling partly lies in the fact that Artemy’s route has a separate objective to ending the plague. Though Daniil and Clara likewise have motivations besides the plague (saving Thanatica/defining her identity) the resolution to their conflicts becomes linked to the plague: Daniil must stop it to save his research, and Clara likewise claims her identity through how she combats it, but Artemy has two conflicts which overlap but can still remain separate.

All of this particularly interests me in the context of Artemy’s reaction towards the Powers That Be reveal (I’m using his reaction in the Bachelor and Changeling routes, since his own is nearly identical to Daniil’s). When Daniil tells him, Artemy says “Like I said, I don’t care all that much. Aglaya told me about this too, you know... She expected to stun me with the news, but I wasn't sad at all. Although I didn’t take her words that literally. But I'm honest with myself—so does it really matter what I'm made of?”

Similarly in the Changeling Route:

Haruspex: I'm not a toy, Changeling. I am Artemy Burakh, a Haruspex who knows the lines, a Warden who has fulfilled his mission and reconciled his father's spirit with the Earth, and has made the correct choice. That's who I am. Do you understand?

> So you're a believer in salvation through ignorance?

Haruspex: I must admit I'm a bit confused—but it was for the better. It allowed me to escape the iron grip of my preordainment. I'm content with being able to choose with my heart.

This line of thinking follows what Artemy has said throughout his route, such as “They may say I am predictable, but no one would ever say I am easily controlled” or “I will do as my conscience tells me to. If this aligns with someone else’s schemes, so be it.” All of Artemy’s route he speaks about acting according to his conscience, that is what matters to him, no matter what else, hence “any choice is right as long as it’s willed.” What I especially want to focus on is “I’m honest with myself—so does it really matter what I'm made of?”

To me it reads as Artemy claiming his autonomy through “I act according to my conscience and because of that I am the person I perceive myself to be” which I very much enjoy. As tragically entertaining as a character trapped in a narrative is, it’s still interesting to me to see how Artemy asserts his autonomy via asserting his identity; he’s a little like Clara in that sense. I just love that line sm it’s so delicious to me <3 Like an old friend of sorts

#also artemy canonically doesn't know what a brontosaurus is #pathologic #artemy burakh #patho.txt

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tybaltsjuliet · 2 years

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must see horror movies?

the cabinet of dr. caligari (1920). the first cult film. the first horror film. the sets! the somnambulist! the cultural debts we owe this movie will never be repaid.

häxan (1922). a folk-horror fantasia. i've been thinking a lot lately about that teju cole quote about how fiction and nonfiction is not a natural way to split up narrative experiences, and this is a wonderful example of that.

frankenstein (1931). and, really, all of the universal horror movies. but to get your foot in the door at the monster mash, this one is the way to go.

the night of the hunter (1955). robert mitchum as the most sinister of ministers. you can argue that this isn't a horror film per se, but i'll argue harder. one of my favorite pieces of southern gothic, too.

(horror of) dracula (1958). the best of all dracula films and the place to begin with hammer horror. (the sequels get mad campy. but no less entertaining.)

psycho (1960). you don't need me to recommend psycho but i'm doing it anyway and i am doing it for anthony perkins, who deserved a goddamn oscar for this.

night of the living dead (1968). dawn and day are equally worthy for different reasons but nothing beats the locked-down nightmare that started it all.

ganja & hess (1973). this is the only gothic vampire romance that matters. like so much great horror (see: the night of the hunter, above), and especially great horror by marginalized creators, this was rightfully vindicated by history and yet still deserves to be vindicated harder.

the wicker man (1973). summerisle's got everything: christopher lee; bawdy folk songs; phallic maypoles; the battle between christian law and order and the old ways' rights and rites; A CHILD. if you've gotten this far in life without knowing the ending, go watch this immediately before that can change. not only the best folk horror movie of all time, but possibly one of the best movies of all time, period.

the texas chain saw massacre (1974). i didn't see this till 2020, somehow. i thought i was desensitized to whatever it might throw at me after spending my adolescence bragging about getting through a serbian film and thinking house of 1000 corpses was the funniest thing i ever saw. i was dead fucking wrong and i'm so glad i was. every now and then you come across a movie, new or new to you, that reminds you why you're so in love with a genre and revitalizes your passion for it. texas chain saw did that for me.

the omen (1976). my favorite religious horror movie of all time, even more so than the exorcist. also has what i personally consider the scariest scene in any horror movie (the graveyard sequence). gregory peck having been a lifelong devout catholic really adds a certain je ne sais quoi to his performance as the father.

halloween (1978). what is horror without the slasher, and what is the slasher without halloween? i really don't care about your freddys and your jasons. michael myers is where it's at.

hellraiser (1987). like texas chain saw, one of the classics that really puts the horror back in horror. a complete fucking nightmare from start to finish, and the cenobites aren't even the worst of it.

event horizon (1997). yes, see alien. yes, see annihilation. but don't neglect this (literal) hellscape of an outer space horror movie. it is neither glossy nor groundbreaking but it is deeply committed to being horrifying and it succeeds.

el laberinto del fauno (2006). nothing like a fairy tale about a princess of the underworld set against the backdrop of franco's spain to remind you that no one is doing the blending of fantastic horrors and very, very real horrors like guillermo del toro. not to mention that the creature designs in this movie are off the charts - the faun is the most beautiful being i have ever seen.

over the garden wall (2014). (not technically a movie but watched all together it's only about two hours and this is my list, so.) don't let the cutesy old-fashioned cartoon style and jaunty songs fool you. what starts off as charming, if unsettling, folksy quirkiness quickly gives way to another terrific fantasy horror. i watch this annually at halloween and it fucks me up every year.

last night in soho (2021). i hesitate to put something with a plot pretty much entirely revolving around rape and SA on a "must-see" list, but if that is subject matter you're not highly sensitive to, this is a terrific angle on the rape revenge horror movie. not as crass as the, uh, classics of the subgenre, but not defanged to the opposite end of offensiveness like a certain other blonde-led "revenge" movie i won't name. another one of my personal favorites.

#i suspect this is a very eccentric list but i hope it gives you some watchlist material anon!#;ask me your questions and get some answers.#;we have such sights to show you.

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sucrosette · 5 months

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★— ⋆｡˚ [What If We Rewrite the Stars?]

For Day 4 of Carry on Countdown 23, Stars.

On proposals.

Rated M for Baz and Simon getting (un)surprisingly frisky.

⋆｡˚

If Basilton ever proposed to anyone– not that he had anyone in mind, and certainly not his roommate who wanted very much to defang him and who Basilton certainly did not want to snog– he already had his plan laid out. Mage weddings were notoriously elaborate and romantic, as anyone with their thumb to the page of Mage Histories would have been well aware, so of course Basilton, best mage in his class, would already have his plan. Not only did he have the general populace of magekind to contest with, but also his very own mother.

Everyone bloody well knew she’d hung the moon for his father. Basilton couldn’t hide the scowl the thought of his father brought him, shaking his head to clear his mind of it. He refocused himself back to the empty field before him and then up to the clear sky above.

If his mother had hung the moon, he could bloody well rewrite the stars.

It’s in the theory of it, not the literalness of the thing. He wasn’t trying to throw the entire universe out of sorts or ruin planetary alignments. What Basilton was going for was a simpler thing, the illusion of rearranging them. He wasn’t entirely sure into what yet, at least not for the proposal, he knew that should be more personal, but for this practice bout, he has an idea.

He’d already tried a number of quotes from the classics, “I defy you, stars”, “there was a star danced”, “the stars are painted”, and that was only a small sampling of the Shakespeare he’d performed for the empty field and night sky, but nothing had taken yet. He’d tried any number of classics, a good few popular modern publications, several different poems, and just about any song that had broached the top one hundred in the past decade that also made mention of the barest, but nothing had taken yet.

Today, Baz is trying something a little off the cuff. Not exactly about the stars directly, but maybe something that could cause that illusion. ‘You would not believe your eyes–’ his wand flourishing elegantly out and up towards the starts, but as soon as the phrase leaves his lips, the field floods with fireflies. Fireflies. Which were not stars. He supposed at least something had happened, but the phrases were too tied together, either as some sort of ubiquitous social thought or a pervasive tie within his own mind.

Baz lets out a sigh and sits himself back down in the grass, hand resting palm up on his knee, facing the swarm of lightning bugs in front of him, staring off into utter nothingness. A firefly lands on his palm, it’s little legs tickling at sensitive skin.

So they were real.

Basilton was probably going to get in trouble for this.

⋆｡˚

The moment Baz knows he’s going to ask Simon Snow to marry him is the same moment they’d banished the room to a swirling galaxy all around them. He’s awestruck, confused, alight with affection for the soft contact between their hands, even amid all the violent, frustrated thoughts flying about his head in a haphazard flurry.

He knows he shouldn’t think such ridiculous things about Simon Snow. It’s not like he’s ever going to confess to him, let alone ask Snow to marry him, but Crowley, something about the stars pulled down into their room is doing something to him. It’s not the feeling of fire in his veins, nor the crackling electricity on his skin, nor even the ridiculous alluring way Simon looks all open and vulnerable like this, but the whole situation.

Of course it was ‘Twinkle, twinkle little star!’ he’d spoken the magick into. He knows it’s not a spell, he’d tried it a dozen and a half times before this in a dozen and a half different ways and come to nothing for it. But this time, burned clean with Simon’s magickal fire at his fingertips…

This is as close as he’s gotten to success, it’s more magnificent than he could have possibly envisioned in all his years as a mageling up to this. It would probably be better than he could ever hope to deliver too, but that doesn’t matter to Baz in the moment. All he can think is there’s no one else he’d rather share a sight like this with than Simon Snow.

Merlin and Morgana’s sake, he’s a bloody lovestruck nitwit and Baz has never been more certain of anything before. He’s going to ask this ninny to marry him one day, if they both survive the year.

⋆｡˚

It happens two years after their graduation. Simon and he both are on break from classes and Baz’s father and stepmum have flown the girls to the states for their own hols away from home. Oh sure, Baz and Simon could’ve joined, but an extended stay with his dad sounds like hell to Baz, so Baz and Simon decide to take their holiday in Ireland. Well, rather Baz decides and Simon can’t deny it’d be nice for a change of scenery. Okay, so the weather wouldn’t be much different from London, but he’d never been before, and Baz excited always makes for a good time.

Apparently, the mages in Ireland are absolutely insane, in that their spells are like nothing anywhere else in the world, old magicks still running wild throughout the lands, but also in that they also throw a damn good holiday party. Baz has never been one to avoid an excuse to show up and show off, especially now that he’s got such a divine dancing partner. Simon makes excuses, says he doesn’t know the steps, he’s got two left feet, he’ll trip them both up, but he lets Baz drag him around from place to place anyway.

He doesn’t like to be in the spotlight anymore, Baz knows, not on his own. But Baz also knows when he’s holding Simon’s waist and leading him in their dances, in their lives, the world falls away from both of them, leaving everything but the music and their footsteps behind.

It’s an impulse, a moment of downtime between the parties and the socializing and sightseeing, a moment where Basilton doesn’t have anything planned in his neatly penned itinerary, and Simon sights a theatre across the way from their cafe where Baz had been enjoying coffee and cake.

“Let’s see a movie,” Simon hums between sips of his thick cocoa, eyeing the titles in the display across the way.

Baz hums his own acknowledgment, watching Simon more than anything else around them, nodding before Simon even decides on a feature for them. “Why not? We can have an easy night tonight too, take the night off dancing and stay in our room, enjoy some whiskey in our bed, kick our feet up.”

Simon’s eyes are already twinkling, his feet tapping under the table excitedly, and Baz knows he’s made the right decision immediately.

It’s a musical they agree on, something loud and high energy, in contrast to Baz’s idea of a lazy evening, but Baz can never say no to a musical, and Simon doesn’t really care one way or another whatever they watch. So it’s a musical they’re watching.

It happens not too long after the hour point in the movie. The song starts playing. Not just any song, but The Song. Baz hears it and he knows this is going to be the song that changes everything about his proposal, that it’s going to be powerful enough, popular enough, to sink into every blade of grass and tree and rock and, oh this song is going to be good magick. There’s not a doubt in his mind.

His fingers are already twitching to find his wand and try it, iching to see if he could get it right the first try, to see if the magick’s already powerful enough for it. Simon must sense his insane spike in energy though, because his hand snakes out to grasp Baz’s and twine their fingers together, squeezing over his digits and bringing him back from the machinations of magick for the rest of the movie.

Simon listens through all Baz’s technical ramblings on the music, the inspirations the writer’s must’ve taken, the absolute chops on one singer in particular, the confusing choices made about the one singer who had supposedly been an operatic. Simon listens patiently through it all until warm whiskey settles Baz’s anxious energy and the movie’s finally forgotten between their lips.

“You’re terribly adorable when you get like this, you know, Pitch?” Simon asks before stealing a soft, slow kiss, his warm hands cupping Baz’s cool cheeks to keep them close together. Simon presses Baz’s back down to the mattress and climbs atop him, knees braced at Baz’s waist, straddling him slow, kisses trailing tender along Baz’s jaw and cheeks until Baz is humming low for him.

Baz’s hands wander up Simon’s bare back, following the notches of his spine tenderly, mapping his back all the way up to his wings, even though Baz knows these plains of Simon better than he knows his own hands. “Oh, shut up, Snow,” Baz groans, voice heated between shared kisses, lips wet with their want, “You’re just as bad going on about any and every new pastry we try.”

“I am,” Simon doesn’t even bother to deny it, kisses wandering over Baz’s neck, marking him with soft love bites, sucking the skin underneath dark with his affections, “But there’s better things to think about right now, aren’t there?”

Baz’s fingers crawl up Simon’s wings, dragging soft over their leather, lips quirking into a frown. Simon wasn’t wrong, he supposed, but he wasn’t going to just say it outright. “Why don’t you tell me what you’d like me focusing on, love, and we’ll go from there…”

Simon kisses a soft trail down Baz’s chest, unbuttoning his perfectly pressed shirt as he goes, “You know what I want, Baz.”

One of Baz’s hands slides off Simon’s wings to grip over Simon’s ass, gripping tight and forcing them to grind together, pulling a sharp gasp from Simon above him, the nails remaining edging just on this side of sharp against sensitive joints. “Words, love. I won’t ask nicely again.”

“You,” Simon rasps into his chest, nosing over the soft hair there, “Just you.”

Baz’s tongue darts out to wet his own lips, grinding them together again before that same hand slips to wrap Simon’s tail about his wrist, tugging it sharp in the moments following. “Needy thing,” Baz murmurs back, but he doesn’t argue against it. Baz’s always been terribly bad at denying Simon when he was honest with him, “I’ll give you what you want, love of mine, all you want and more…”

The moments melt into hours like that, between heated kisses and soft marks burned into skin, hands tugging in hair, gasps and moans lost to the air between them. Naught between their skin but Simon’s whispered worship and Baz’s quiet praise, pressing closer and closer into each other until nothing remained but each other.

Still, it keeps playing in Baz’s head the next morning, that week, through their anniversary and the rest of the month too. “Rewrite the Stars,” the song rang in his mind, and Baz knew that was exactly what he intended to do, what he’d always intended to do.

#Carry On Countdown #COC 2023 #baz pitch #simon snow #snowbaz #carry on fanfiction #my writing #there might be one more scene to this cooking #not sure if i have the chops for the grand proposal itself though

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some-pers0n · 6 months

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I can't think of anything for the assuming thing that you reblogged, but while I'm here uhhm. I'd like to hear abt tf2 if you're willing to explain.

I don't know a lot abt it but I see the stuff you reblog!! I know the game, but I've never heard any lore or anything abt the characters.

No pressure ofc, you don't have to :]

You're. asking me..to infodump? About TF2!?

Okie okey I can do it. Uh. Keep in mind it's going to be pretty long-winded and incomprehensible. I just really like this game...

Oh! And if you're a follower or mutual, read on as well! I put a lot of effort into this. If you're at all interested in understanding my madness even a little bit, this is for you.

Before we even begin, I HIGHLY recommend first checking out the Meet the Team videos and perhaps Expatriation Date. It will take you roughly half an hour to watch all videos. They are simply fantastic. They are humorous and show off the personalities of these characters in a great and short way. Plus it establishes the tone of this game (which is very silly)

With that being said, let it commence.

Okay, so, I guess we start with the basics. Team Fortress 2 is a sequel to Team Fortress (Classic), which was a mod for a game called Quake using the engine for Half-Life, Source. It was made by a couple of friends who would later on become a part of Valve, a game company known for their own games such as Portal, Half-Life (as previously mentioned), Counter-Strike; Global Offense, and of course, Team Fortress.

Team Fortress 2's development is pretty interesting and cool in of itself. I could go on for a bit, but just know that TF2 was announced back in 1998. Over this time, it went by the name of Invasion, following an art style similar to TFC and Half-Life with them now being on some alien planet thing. However that sort of style became outdated, so they then went under a major art style shift. After nine years in development, they final released it in 2007 as a package called the Orange Box. It released alongside Portal and Half-Life 2, Episode 2.

Since then, Team Fortress 2, or simply just TF2, has become a cornerstone of the internet and general team-based shooter games. Its influences can be seen all over, with the most prominent example being games like Overwatch being a spiritual successor to it.

You don't want to hear me ramble about the actual gameplay and such though, I assume. I really like watching people play the game, but I would be lying if I didn't find a smidge more enjoyment from the characters, hm? I mean, how could I not? They're one of, if not the best parts of the entire game.

But before we get to that, even more ground work. Here's the basic lore you need.

In the 1800s, a man called Zephaniah Mann owns a company. He's your generic richy-rich upperclassman guy. His business partner, Barnabus Hale, co-owns this. This will be slightly important later. He has three children, Redmond, Blutarch, and Gray Mann. Redmond and Blutarch practically come out of the womb hating each other, while Gray Mann? Well, he's. special. He's incredibly intelligent for his newborn nature, being able to speak fluent English as well as supposedly inventing a new kind of algebra.

Zephaniah Mann freaks out. He tries to kill the child, however he is, and I quote, "absconded by the Eagle". This is a random eagle that's been apparently terrorizing the small town that Zephaniah Mann lives in. It breaks through the windows and literally steals Gray Mann, saving him from an untimely death.

So that happened.

Years later, Zephaniah grows old. Blutarch and Redmond are the only real heirs of his company, but the both of them won't come to a single agreement on anything. Pissed off about it, Zephaniah writes in his will that he's giving his company to Barnabus Hale, leaving his servant, Elizabeth, with all of his "gold", and jack-shit for Redmond and Blutarch.

Well...not nothing. Redmond and Blutarch convinced Zephaniah to buy up a bunch of land in New Mexico. Gravel pits and dustbowls. When Zephaniah died, the two of them tried claiming the land for themselves. This sparked the main event: the Gravel Wars.

Blutarch and Redmond hired a bunch of mercenaries to fight for each other. This was the original team. Yes, that is Abraham Lincoln you see there. Get used to it.

The mercenaries fought and fought, yet there was no clear victor. In the end, Blutarch and Redmond were growing old. By 1890s, it was becoming obvious that the two would die before they saw the end of this fight.

Or...until a certain other party emerged. Radigan Conagher. A brilliant inventor that catches the attention of Blutarch Mann. He brings Radigan to him and asks something so simple of him.

Build him a machine to make him immortal.

Radigan agrees to the task.

However, this also gets the attention of another person. Remember that servant I mentioned? The one who inherited Zephaniah Mann's gold? Well, it turns out that it isn't gold, but actually an incredibly powerful material called Australium.

Australium is native to Australia. It is a precious mineral that is capable of incredible power. Among giving the people around it super-strength, heightened intelligence, and generally being very Australian, it can also be used to make a person immortal through extending their life.

Elizabeth knows about this, and for some reason that we still don't quite know, she wants to continue on this war. So, she approaches Radigan and asks him to build another life extender machine for Redmond. Also for her probably.

So now the old men (and also this chick) are immortal. Cool!!

The 1930s roll around and there's another group of mercenaries. We don't care about these ones that much. Just know that they are the same mercs from Team Fortress Classic and they'll be somewhat important later. Understand also that Barnabus Hale's company is now called MannCo. and is the main supplier of weapons to this war.

NOW IT'S THE 1960S YAYYY IT'S TIME FOR THEM!!! THE SILLIES!!

Something to also know is that there's somebody pulling the strings. The Administrator. For some reason, she wants to continue this war between Redmond and Blutarch. She's not Elizabeth though!! Definitely not. Totally not. Definitely not a plot twist that WOULD'VE HAPPENED IN THE FINAL COMIC HAD IT RELEASED- but it's fine.

Anyways, I digress. Elizabeth and the Administrator (also known as Helen) are pretty much the same person. Working as her assistant is Miss Pauling, who (among other things) hides bodies, gives contracts to the mercs, and generally does whatever the Admin wants her to.

Whew!! There you go. That's the general gist of the lore. Back in the 1800s there was a guy who had two kids who hated each other. They hated each other so much they went to war over a bunch of useless land. Over 100 years later now we've got the mercs.

Finally!! We can start talking about them.

Scout, aka Jerma985

The Scout, real name Jeremy, is a loud-mouth, obnoxious 20 something year old from Boston. He fights using a shotgun, baseball bat, and a pistol. He's got 7 older brothers (he's the youngest of them all) and has an affinity for baseball, Tom Jones, and a soda drink named Bonk! that is apparently radioactive. He's what I'd argue to be the most ""normal"" merc, since he's just kind of an asshole who likes killing people. He talks and acts like an obnoxious guy, but he's overall not that bad.

Oh I forgot to mention he's canonically God's gift to women.

Here's a snipbit of the scene where Scout dies and goes to Heaven where he meets God Himself and tells Scout that he was intended to have sex with as many women as possible.

Scout is also illiterate and can't read. He's actually a pretty good artist though. He's got a Tom Jones memorabilia collection that he once used to try and impress Miss Pauling. Oh right! He's also got a massive crush on Miss Pauling. The Expiration Date short is all about it, with him trying to get a date with her before he dies of cancer.

Soldier, the American Idiot

The Soldier, real name Jane Doe, is a red-blooded American patriot from somewhere in the mid-west USA. He fights using a rocket launcher, a shotgun, and a shovel. He is not a real solider. In fact, he was turned away from WWII because of his mental instability. That didn't stop him from buying a ticket and going to Germany himself, beating the crap out of all of them Nazis. He only stopped when he was told that the current year was 1949 and the war had ended four years ago.

Soldier is what I'd argue to be the character the narrative focuses on the most. You'd be pressed to find a comic that doesn't feature him a lot. He's the second half of the WAR! update, the first merc that Miss Pauling recruits when the actual main comics happen, generally pops up a lot in bits and pieces of the lore, and is one of the stars of Expiration Date.

Soldier was roommates with a 6,000 year old wizard named Meramus. Meramus is a character from TF2's annual Halloween event, Scream Fortress, and is a silly wizard who attacks them once every year. Despite this, the two of them lived together. Past tense because Meramus was kicked out. Here's a panel from a comic about this that I find funny.

Soldier also drinks lead water. The water in the base is the same water that the people from a nearby town, Teufort, which is all full of idiots from the water situation. We don't know if he's like this because of the water. It's probably not the only reason.

Pyro, the Silly!!

The Pyro has no identity, no backstory, nothing. Anything we know about them is pretty much nothing. They, along with the Spy, are the most unknown of the mercs, but even then we still know more about Spy and generally what he's like. Pyro? Nothing. We don't even know their gender.

Pyro fights with a flamethrower, shotgun, and fire axe, however they see these items as a cute and wholesome version. In Meet the Pyro, it's revealed that Pyro sees the world through a oddly sweet lens, full of lolipops and rainbows and whatever. This isn't reality, obviously, and what Pyro sees as them petting a dog is probably them gutting it.

Pyro and the Engineer have some sort of bond and connection, most likely stemming from how Pyro's in-game help out Engineers by keeping away spies and whatnot, as flamethrowers are the best ways to get rid of them.

Anywho, that's Pyro. The silly!!

Demoman, Man I Love Being Drunk

The Demoman, real name Travis Finnegan DeGroot, is a self-proclaimed "black Scottish cyclops". He fights with a stickybomb launcher, a grenade launcher, and a bottle of his beloved whiskey: scrumpy. Demoman is a full-blooded Scotsman hailing from Ullapool and has a long, long lineage of fellow bombmakers and general stuff.

Demoman is actually one of the more intelligent members of the team, being knowledgeable of chemicals and bomb making. This is however not exactly known as 90% of the time he's black-out drunk. He gets drunk so often that his liver actually changed to adapt to this sort of environment, now drawing minerals from booze as if it were water. Now Demo basically gets poisoned by drinking water.

Demo's eye is actually cursed, by the way. No, he didn't lose it during some fight or some accident. Well, I mean, it technically was an accident. He opened up a cursed book, the Bombinomicon, and now his eye is just. fucked.

In fact, the Medic tried giving him a new eye. Several times in fact! Why doesn't he have it still? Well, uh, this.

He's so silly.

Heavy, The TF2 Guy

The Heavy Weapons Guy, real name Mikhail (or Misha), is a Russian man hailing from Siberia. He fights with his miniguns, a shotgun, and his fists. He's rather fond of his guns, in particular his main one, Sasha.

Heavy is a family man and generally a lot different than how a ton of the internet characterizes him. He's intelligent, having a PhD in Russian Literature, and a lot more soft-spoken. When he was young, his father, a counter revolutionist, was taken by the KGB. Soon enough, his entire family were imprisoned in a gulag. They escaped and found refuge, but Heavy became protective over his sisters and mother.

TF2 goes hard, like if you agree. Every time I think about Heavy I just get increasingly sad.

Heavy likes sandwiches. A lot. In fact, you can swap out his shotgun in the game for a sandwich (or some other food item). Apparently in TF2 canon, Heavy just hunkers down in some corner after taking a good amount of damage and starts eating this ham sandwich to suddenly have his bullet wounds be healed.

Engineer, YEEEEHAWWW!!!

The Engineer, real name Dell Conagher, is a hardworking man who's come round from Bee Cave, Texas. He fights using a shotgun, a pistol, his trusty wrench, and a little tiny box called the PDA. That lil' box gives the Engineer a major advantage, being able to now make buildings. Dispensers that give ammo and medkits. Teleporters that make traversing the maps easier. Lets not forget the sentries now either, stationary automatic guns that fire upon any enemy that gets too close.

If the name "Conagher" seems familiar, that would be because Engie is the grandson of Radigan Conagher from all the way back. Also Fred Conagher, who was the Engineer for TFC. Here's the both of them when Engie was a kid.

Engie is commonly mischaracterized as being normal. This is because he seems smart and okay. He is not. I need you to understand that his Meet the Team video has him using a BLU Sniper's body as his campfire and he shows little to no reaction to bullets being mere inches away from his face. He just sits there and plays his guitar while his sentry guns mow down anybody nearby. Also the whole being a mercenary and his job being to kill people.

Unfortunately for Engie there's not too much Funny comic book stuff about him. His big break was mostly with the Loose Cannon comic. In other ones he's usually a supplemental character to the others. In the main comics he's the sort of caregiver to the Administrator, just sort of standing around her while she says stuff.

That doesn't make me any less terminally ill about him in this one comic though. They make me SICK!! I love them,,

And, well, speaking of these two...I suppose it was only a matter of time before we got to him.

Medic, You Already Know Who This Is

The Medic, real name maybe Ludwig Humbolt? I dunno. It's unclear. All that's really confirmed is that his last name is probably most likely Ludwig. Some people like Ludwig Humbolt. Others like Fritz Ludwig. I like calling him Ludwig Ludwig.

Anyways, this is Medic! He hails from Stuttgart/Rottenburg, Germany (it's not very clear where he's from) and he is a bit of a silly little fellow. He fights using his trusty bonesaw, a syringe gun of sorts, and a unique device of his own creation: the medi-gun. With this machine, he's able to heal people as well as deploy an übercharge, which makes both the Medic and whomever his medi-gun's healing beam is connected with invincible for eight seconds.

The Medic is a silly little fellow. One fascinating thing you can see about him is how his character has been shifted since the launch of the game. His voice lines in-game are a lot more...er, how should I say this...Nazi German stereotype-ish? Hehh, uh... So not particularly great. He's barking orders and generally seen kind of like that.

However, as time goes on and more and more updates come out, his character shifts. The Pyro goes under similar changes in presentation, going from a mysterious and scary character to more friendly and cutesy. With Medic? He forgos that previous stereotype and more or less just becomes a mad scientist archetype. He's got a silliness to him that wasn't present when the game first launched.

My favourite example of this shift in character is the change in how the Meet the Medic videos would've been. Did you know there was a scrapped Meet the Medic video? It was a lot more like the earlier ones, styled like an interview he was giving. He's doing it on a train(?) and it shows how he created the medi-gun. There's a noticeable lack of silliness, aside from when the Spy head begins talking. The Medic is a lot more stern and serious, mentioning more how he's proud of being able to make gods out of men.

Then, of course, we see the actual Meet the Medic. Medic is preforming surgery on the Heavy, and it's all fairly silly and wacky. Medic explodes Heavy's heart, his birds are just straight up inside Heavy's organs, he basically tells the Spy head (which is actually a reference to the OG Meet the Medic video) to shut up, and laughs away like what he's doing is no big deal. He's got a manic twitch to him. He's a brilliant scientist, though a mad one at that.

I have a lot to say about Medic if you can't already tell. He's my silly!! He's the guy giving me all of this brainrot over this game. I just go into detail about his characterization because it's a major pet peeve of mine when people label him as a uncaring sadist who hates his team and wants to experiment on them all. He IS an uncaring sadist, but he's sill and I will go down swinging on this hill that he, at the bare minimum, cares about his team. I rationalize his in-game voice lines by saying it's from him a) dying a lot and getting pissed off at how his teammates just let it happen and b) he's having a manic episode every day at work and has zero filter. All of them have zero filter when battling. If they all acted the way they did in the game, then characters like Scout should be GO GO GO GO!!!! 24/7 without rest, something that's certainly not the case in Expiration Date. On a similar note, let's not forget that Medic and Engie decided to spend their last few days trying to develop some kind of cure for their tumors.

Anyways, deranged EngieMedic fangirling aside (these two make me violently ill and they are the only characters I could even dare to say I "ship")(even then it's as a QPR because I'm diseased and hit Medic with my aroace-ification ray)(you cannot convince me that this man in alloro in any way shape or form he does not even know what an emotion besides mania and blistering rage is), Medic is a fascinating character who I feel not too many people really get. He's either written as a pencil-pushing busy-body vaguely Nazi stereotype or as a soft uwu twink cinnamon roll who wants to help his team and only has a small sadistic streak and only wants to be railed by Heavy. You guys don't get it. He's silly :)

Oh, yeah, right, Heavy. Heavy and Medic definitely do have a connection established. I left it out in Heavy's section, mostly because I want to give focus onto Heavy as a character and leave Medic out of it. Heavy already gets piss pour treatment by the fandom, where he's just reduced to "the other guy" in every ship. He doesn't deserve that...

But, yeah, Medic and Heavy certainly is kinda pushed. Medic and Heavy duos in the game aren't that uncommon, as Heavy is a good tank and Medic can hide behind him, leading to Heavy more or less becoming a stream of bullets to mow down anybody nearby. In Meet the Medic, Medic experiments on Heavy's heart and the big climactic end has him activating the übercharge on Heavy. In the comics themselves, Classic Heavy, the inverse of our normal Heavy, is antagonistic and extremely rude towards Medic. The complete and utter opposite of what Heavy and Medic had back in the day. Then finally he shows up when Medic is literally About To Die.

Blah blah blah, there's a lot of stuff relating back to Heavy and Medic at the VERY LEAST having some sort of ties and liking to each other. That's the reason why there's like 1100+ fics on Ao3 tagged with them.

Medic is a silly goober as previously mentioned. As shown in the Engineer section, he experiments on random civilians. I like to imagine that he doesn't particularly do random fucked up experiments on the RED team, but rather he more or less does everything on civilians. He enjoys putting somebody through pain and suffering, but he wants it to mean something. He doesn't want to just mess with people. He tests out the bounds of which a person can go to, which he does on random people he plucks off the street because there's replaceable to him. His teammates? Not so much.

Oh, and also the Classic Team. He doesn't care about these people. They suck! They aren't his friends. So he just does. this sort of stuff.

He's a bit special. Love him dearly for it.

Sniper, Aww Piss

The Sniper, real name Mick Mundy (real birth name being Mun-Dee), is an young Aussie from the outback. Yes. Young. This man is roughly 30 in 1972 (when the comics take place). Can't you tell by how stereotypically young he looks? Sniper fights using a sniper rifle (duh), an SMG (or other items), and a kukri (big knife).

He's one of the most level-headed of the mercs. Not sane, but rather a man who sticks to being professional and a set of rules. Despite this more refined sense of mercenary work, his parents don't exactly support him being a crazed gunman. Also his parents aren't his biological ones.

That's right, Sniper is adopted. Why do we care? Because he's not Australian, but rather from New Zealand. New Zealand is at the bottom of the ocean, by the way. In 1932 they sunk their entire country because Bill-Bel, Sniper's dad, convinced everyone that the world was going to become an uninhabitable wasteland if they didn't otherwise do this. Ten years later, and when little baby Mun-Dee was born, Bill-Bel and his wife began working on a rocket to escape to space because now they were convinced that earth was going to explode or something. They only built the rocket big enough for one person though, so they fought over who would survive. While fighting, Mun-Dee crawled into it, was shot up into the sky, and then crash landed immediately onto Australia.

So Sniper is Superman.

Also, remember how I said that Sniper sticks to rules and such? Yeah, apparently being a professional also means throwing jars of piss at people. Jarate, a form of jar-based karate invented by Saxton Hale, owner of MannCo.

Sniper's just like that.

Spy, Fr*ch

The Spy, real name unknown, is the second most mysterious character. He's from France (no idea where particularly) and he's just kinda. yeah. There. He fights using his butterfly knife, which he can instantly kill anybody he backstabs, a revolver, and a sapper so he can destroy the Engineer's buildings. Also, an invisibility watch, where he's able to cloak himself and become invisible, and the ability to disguise himself as the enemy team.

The Spy is a richy-rich upperclassman. He likes the finer things in life. Smoking, wine, expensive suits, all that. He's a lot more refined and generally snobbish than the other mercs. However, I don't think of him as exactly mean or rude. Definitely stuck-up, but he cares about his teammates. In Expiration Date, he takes the time to ask everyone what their final wish is. When that's a bust, he then happily spends time with Scout and teaching him how to get ladies.

Ah, yes, right. Scout and Spy. Spy is actually the Scout's father. It's a theory that has been around since the release of Meet the Spy, with the RED Spy being in pornography staring Scout's mother. It's been tossed around and hinted at, with their dynamic and Expiration Date as well as a couple references to Spy and DNA tests. Then, in The Naked and the Dead comic, it's pretty much outright confirmed. While Scout is bleeding out and on the verge of death, Spy takes a moment to finally give Scout some peace.

...while disguised as Tom Jones, of course.

I could go on and on about this scene and how I feel about Spy's characterization and his dynamic with Scout, but blah blah blah...yeah. Spy TF2.

Annnddd that's it for now! Basic summary of it all. The characters, the lore, all of it. I've reached the image limit and have been sort of dancing around it for a while now. Hope this was informative. Toodles!!

#ask #fave #long post #Sneeb #sp-rambles

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secretmellowblog · 1 year

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You know how Nick/Gatsby and Holmes/Watson and Enjolras/Grantaire are super popular gay classic lit ships? I’m genuinely surprised there’s not a slash-shipping community around Sydney Carton and Charles Darnay from a Tale of Two Cities…like. I get the reason Darnay/Carton isn’t popular is because no one cares about A Tale of Two Cities but their relationship is so bizarrely homoerotic for literally no reason! It’s like Built to be some Dark Academia tumblr ship! I think Carton/Darnay should be in the tumblr gay classic lit canon, repping Dickens and the way Dickens’ misogynistic inability to write convincing heterosexual relationships results in his characters seeming extremely gay.

I could write an entire essay on why A Tale of Two Cities makes more sense if you ignore Dickens’ intent and read Carton as gay (with quotes supporting my point) but like. Carton insists he’s in love with Darnay’s wife Lucie but spends much more of his page-time talking to/flirting with Darnay (to the point where he’s never had an on page conversation with Lucie until he “confesses his love” to her in a scene where he also immediately rejects himself for her, and insists that their relationship would be Impossible for Reasons and that his heart isn’t Capable of feeling things the way it should, as if he’s chosen to convince himself he’s in love with her because she’s unattainable and he will never have to be in a relationship with her.) Darnay and Carton have all these tense charged snarky interactions that feel like fanfic. Darnay’s thing with Lucie is pretty bland but there’s this huge emphasis on the fact that he and Carton are “counterparts.” Whenever Dickens tries to write Carton as being sad that Lucie loves another man it generally comes across as Carton being jealous of Lucie, because he’s almost never had a full conversation with Lucie and spends most of his time instead having these very sad clingy desperate pathetic conversations with the men who love her. Carton has a weird homoerotic thing going on with his jock law partner Stryver, who he sacrifices everything for and spends all his time with and lets invade his personal space/walk all over him for reasons he refuses to explain (all while Stryver repeatedly mocks Carton for being incapable of falling in love with women). Carton ultimately sacrifices his life for Darnay by forcibly taking off Darnay’s clothes and disguising himself as him….like?

One of their first interactions is Carton heroically saving Darnay’s life, then drunkenly calling himself Darnay’s “counterpart” and asking him on a date.

Like.

Hm.

This feels like the banter you’d find in an Enjolras/Grantaire fanfic:

Fellas is it gay to

But yeah! The main thing people remember about A Tale of Two Cities are the cool peasant women revolutionaries, who Dickens is trying to portray as villains but who are actually the best characters in the book. And if I’m going to be mean to my high school self (who was obsessed with ATOTC for some reason) I’d say that the central melodrama between Carton/Darnay/Lucie is a weakness of the novel because Carton’s arc has nothing to do with the political French Revolution stuff, so his sacrifice feels thematically disconnected from all the book’s attempts at political commentary. HOWEVER. I think it works better if it’s gay.Also the Vengeance and Madame Defarge are gay, but people aren’t ready for that conversation!

So yee!! people on tumblr love ships that are like “hot goody-two-shoes classic lit boy in a suit x hot snarky classic lit sadboi in a suit”, but so few ppl remember Carton and Darnay, who were repping that all the way back in the 1790s 😔😔😔😔😔

#posts made for a max audience of 2 people #ALSO Sydney Carton is who people want Grantaire to be. he’s fanon Grantaire #but that’s another post #A Tale of two cities #Sydney carton #Charles Darnay #carton x Darnay #I was talking on discord about this the other day but. YEE #anyway carton was my first poor little meow meow #he did nothing wrong #if high school me was on tumblr I would’ve written so many posts about him being my poor blorbo #he’s just a very sad wet pathetic creature

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theewokingdead · 1 year

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Random References - Benergy Universe

Pairing: Benny Miller x wife!Reader Summary: Benny is known for saying and quoting random things. What happens when he catches you doing the same? Word Count: 400+ Rating: No rating but my blog is 18+ Warnings: First person POV, Language Notes: If you don’t know these references, you’re too young. Here’s the cartoon, titled "Rejected" by Don Hertzfeldt, which found its way onto the internet in the early 2000s. Yes, my husband will yell random lines from it all the time, yes the kids find it hilarious, and yes it drives me insane lol.

Main Masterlist | Benergy Series Masterlist

“Nanny Plum. Nanny Plum.”

The name escapes my lips in a shrill sing-song voice, complete with a poor attempt at a British accent. I don’t mind letting the kids have screen time, but God I hate children’s shows and their annoyingly catchy songs and lines. They tunnel into my brain and burrow themselves deep, hibernating until they are suddenly roused, and refusing to leave until they eventually die off.

Sophie’s latest obsession is a cartoon on YouTube about a fairy princess and an elf. I heard someone singing the name Nanny Plum literally just one time, and now I find myself mindlessly repeating it while cleaning the glass shelves of the fridge. As if I wasn’t irritated enough by having to clean up whatever Benny allowed to ooze all over the place.

“Nanny Plum. Nanny Plum,” I sing aloud again. I want to get it out of my head, but I just can’t. To make matters worse random rhymes that follow the tune keep spilling out of my mouth. I scrub a little harder at the sticky shit before grumbling, “Want to shove my foot up Benny’s bum!”

Of course, that would be the moment Benny walks into the kitchen.

“And you tell me I say random shit!” he points out, pretending to be offended.

“I never said I don’t say random things too sometimes,” I defend. I’m fully aware I’m a bit of a hypocrite, giving him shit for always shouting the most random things when I know damn well I do it too.

“Sometimes,” he scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“At least I’m current. I’m not the one who walked across the house with a bowl of ice cream shrieking ‘My spoon is too big!’ like anyone knows what the fuck that references anymore.”

“That video is a classic!”

“Yeah, a classic. As in it’s old. Leave it in the early 2000s where it belongs, Benjamin.”

“You know, I don’t think you appreciate me enough. The girls think I’m hilarious,” he retorts, grabbing an apple off the counter before walking off without another word.

Rolling my eyes, I return to my task. Now that he’s out of sight a small smile creeps onto my lips. As annoying as he can be, I love the shit out of him.

Just then, I hear him screech at the top of his voice, “MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!”

It’s so unexpected I startle.

“Jesus Christ, Benny!” I shout. How does he remember this random shit? “Wait until I shove my foot up your ass! Then we’ll see how much it bleeds.”

A booming laugh echoes from down the hall. “I’d like to see you try!” he calls, opening the front door. “Love you, babe!”

“Yeah, yeah,” I grumble, knowing the door has already shut behind him. “Love you too…asshole.” I huff and return to my scrubbing, doing nothing to stop my lips from curling into another smile.

#benny miller #benny miller fanfiction #benjamin miller #benny miller fanfic #benny miller x reader #triple frontier fan fiction #triple frontier fanfic #triple frontier fanfiction #tiple frontier #garrett hedlund #garrett hedlund characters #garrett hedlund fanfiction #garrett hedlund x reader #benergy universe #catie writes

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gaymer-hag-stan · 9 months

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Ok so, with the Tekken 8 Closed Network Test now concluded, I'd like to share a few thoughts.

The game looks great, I love the new redesigns, I love the new animations and the fact that they got the entire cast to rerecord their battle grunts and win / pre battle quotes, it was especially weird to have certain characters use voice lines from different actors, some of whom weren't even speaking the same language 🤣

The redesigns are almost exclusively great so far, but I do hope we get alternate costumes. Yeah customization is there but I don't really care to have Nina in jeans and cowboy boots or Jin in platinum blond pigtails like... A lot of fighting games just have a palette swap as the second costume and call it a day, but from the very beginning all the way up to Tekken 6, Tekken had an alternate outfit for every single character. Not only that, but it was usually a more "casual" outfit too like, Kazuya's Tekken 1 1P was his karate gi pants but his 2P was a tank top and jeans. Asuka's Tekken 5 1P was her Aikido uniform and her 2P was her trademark shorts and tank top and so on. Tekken 7 originally went for the 2P palette swap, but at some point they added extra costumes, including classic looks, via an update, and I hope they are there from the start this time.

I played almost exclusively as Nina because she's been my main since 2005, with a little Jun, a little Xiaoyu and a little Jin thrown in. I also tried Lili's, Hwoarang's and Asuka's combo trials (nice that they FINALLY added combo trials, I don't know what took them so long lol) I gotta say it's extremely satisfying to see Harada CONSTANTLY shading Street Fighter on Twitter by saying that the base roster will feature a lot more fighters than our competitors an also Mortal Kombat by saying that they are focusing on legacy fighters before they even start considering guests. Like. That's a ball move and a huge reassurance for the fans. I also know it's in good faith and no harm is meant towards Capcom or Netherrealm but he's right and he should say it!

If there's one thing I hope they copy off of Capcom is Word Tour mode. Yeah NetherRealm Studios' cinematic story mode is fine... I guess... But World Tour mode is the best single player mode ever featured in a fighting game and Namco even have their own blueprint in the form of Tekken Force. We're probably still getting a cinematic-style story but there's still hope for Tekken 9, or maybe even a smaller-scale Tekken Force return, in the style of Tekken 4 or sth.

Arcade Mode needs a proper reintroduction as well, in Tekken 6 you only got 4 battles and you were done and in Tekken 7 you straight up got nothing at all out of Arcade mode and character endings were instead for the base game characters who weren't prominently featured in the cinematic story and you got them after a single battle... Very underwhelming.

Also hoping other "missing" modes like Team Battle return and maybe Tekken Bowl will be included from the get go this time? I've also had this request forever but I'd love to see 1P Vs. Com or Com Vs. Com fights be included in offline versus. Literally every other fighting game has it except Tekken and Virtua Fighter and I can't tell why. It shouldn't be hard to implement and honestly sometimes it's just fun to pick characters, costumes and stage and just fight it out with the computer, as a break from online grinding and whatnot.

Now, as for the battle system itself... It's lots of fun! There's tons of stuff going on at all times but it feels great to experience and it's not really overwhelming or anything. It's cute that they have included an "easy mode" for new players to ease themselves in the fun. I'm not a master player by any means but I've had almost two decades of experience in Tekken and legacy skill does play a big role in the Tekken meta so it's an interesting way to even out the playing field. Interestingly, they also seem to have simplified some of the more complicated commands like, I can pull off all of Nina's combo throws now with a total of like, four button presses at most? Crazy! The heat system feels a bit weird at first but it's a huge asset once you get into it which doesn't take all that long anyway.

Overall I am very satisfied with what I got to play and I feel like Tekken 8 is gonna be another huge chapter in Tekken's history as well as the FGC's as a whole and I honestly cannot wait! Hopefully I will have moved out of Greece by the time it's out because my internet connection was killing me 😭🤣

I also better see miss Anna and Christie in the game or else I'm rioting.

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ogsherlockholmes · 1 year

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Benoit Blanc

I know I’m not the first person to say this (my current feed proves my point) but Benoit Blanc from Knives Out is clearly a Holmes adaptation, and, surprisingly, a lot closer to the canon than some of the more popular ones, since it was more like the book version and not the agreed societal misinterpretation. Here are some of the comparisons I found (I’m going to use Knives Out: Glass Onion for this because I watched it yesterday so it’s still fresh in my memory, but the first movie would work too).

This is probably obvious, but major spoilers for the movie. If you haven’t watched it, please do, it is so good.

In probably one of the most surprising scenes in cinema, James Bond- Benoit Blanc (also know as Daniel Craig) is lying in a bath with a rubber duck, smoking a cigar, surrounded by books and drinks, wearing what I think is a fez (correct me if I’m wrong, and I apologise if I am), playing Among Us. This has got nothing to do with the post but Daniel Craig’s transition from smooth, suave, James Bond to whatever the fuck Benoit Blanc is is inspiring.

Not only is Blanc playing the game, he’s also terrible at it and doesn’t understand it. He’s playing with his friends online, and they mention that Phillip told them he hasn’t left the bath in a week (exaggeration, because I can imagine if that was true he’d literally look like a raisin). Blanc also said that was a hyperbole. There’s a knock on the door, and he shouts for Phillip to open it, then tells his friends that he ‘lose[s] it between cases anyway’ and he ‘might be going insane’. He also says ‘My mind is a fueled-up racing car, and I got nowhere to drive it.’ and ‘I don’t need puzzles or games. The last thing I need is a vacation.I need danger, a hunt, a challenge. I need a great case.’ Phillip shouts out that someone is there with a box, (the puzzle box from before), and Blanc smiles.

There’s too much, there is honestly too much, and it’s his first scene in the movie.

Starting off with the bath thing, that’s already a very Sherlock thing to do. And the fact he was reading and smoking in there as well. I couldn’t get a clear picture of what exactly he was reading, but I could see some Penguin Classics in there, and, going off A Study in Scarlet, Sherlock had vast knowledge of ‘sensational literature’, like horrors, which would be published in those editions.

Because I see Sherlock as being autistic coded, any adaptation of him would be the same. So, him struggling to cope with lockdown, like a lot of autistic people, and calling out someone’s hyperbole adds to this.

There’s the part about him not understanding Among Us, but I’ll get to that.

Then there are the quotes. I don’t think it gets any more obvious than this. In The Sign of the Four, Sherlock says, ‘My mind...rebels at stagnation. Give me problems, give me work, give me the most abstruse cryptogram or the most intricate analysis, and I am in my own proper atmosphere. I can dispense then with artificial stimulants. But I abhor the dull routine of existence. I crave for mental exaltation. That is why I have chosen my own particular profession, or rather created it, for I am the only one in the world.’. Blanc’s quotes are very similar to this. Sherlock also states that he gives up stimulants when he has work, and it’s not exactly the same, but Blanc was heavily smoking and drinking since he didn’t have a case (not saying he stops when he does, but neither does Sherlock).

I haven’t spoken about Phillip yet, but he is a clear Watson figure. He’s also Blanc’s partner, which isn’t confirmed in the movie but heavily implied. Also, it’s Hugh Grant. Nothing to do with Watson but... Hugh Grant. Not only that, but this is one of the only adaptations which Sherlock and John are together. I never thought it would be an American adaptation with Daniel Craig and Hugh Grant as the couple, but sure.

When Blanc meets the rest of the friend groups, he’s awkward and a bit uncomfortable (autistic coding, again). The friends recognise him and ask him about the cases he was involved in, but we’re only told the names, not the content, similar to the books where Watson mentions past cases but doesn’t elaborate.

Also, the outfit. It’s a stretch but it has to be Holmes inspired. If it was a modern day summer, Sherlock would definitely wear it.

Then, Birdie tries to flirt with him, and he’s clearly very uncomfortable. From what we’ve seen, he’s gay, and I’m not saying that straight men can’t be uncomfortable if they’re being flirted with, but if we compare it to other Holmes adaptations, there’s a similar reaction. He gently tries to reject them and clearly doesn’t enjoy it. When she tries again, he doesn’t know what to do. Birdie only backs off when he says he wears her brand of sweatpants and she realises he’s gay.

There’s also more autistic coding in this, because when Birdie asks what material his shirt is, he answers honestly, and she turns away because she’s uninterested, since she didn’t actually want to know. She’s taken this as a rejection and the end of the conversation. As an autistic person, I have this interaction far too many times.

When Blanc arrives on the island, he is overjoyed at the opportunity and continuously thanks Miles for inviting him. Again, he’s very awkward, specifically about the bags.

Blanc always seems to be confused with the technology on the island, but never afraid. This could sort of be a way of bring Sherlock into the modern age, but him still not being modern, if that makes any sense. Meaning, he lives in the 21st century, but he isn’t from it. So, the way Blanc reacts to technology is similar to how Sherlock Holmes from the books would act if something time travelled him over a century forward. For example, in a scene like the one with the weird stick insect luggage porter thing (?), Blanc is confused but amazed, and isn’t scared, like how Sherlock admirers modern technology but isn’t used to it.

Throughout the next few scenes, Blanc is shown gathering intel about the other guests. Later on, we find out Helen was with him, so he wasn’t alone, but I’m just focusing on the first impressions of it. In the books, Sherlock would usually do stuff like this.

Skipping to the dinner scene, the most obvious evidence is Blanc deducing the entire crime, then being confused when everyone got upset. This is another bit of autism coding, since he misunderstood the situation, thinking he was supposed to solve the case as quickly as possible (which, seems more reasonable) but instead allow the other guests to talk in. When he was asking if there was a prize involved, it was similar to the time Sherlock was requesting a cheque if he solved the case, and the client was confused but agreed, then Sherlock explained it for him (I can’t remember what book this was or the exact details however).

Then, of course, Miles himself mentions Sherlock, saying “As Watson said to Holmes”, then being interrupted by Blanc solving the case. I have no idea what Miles was going to say, because Watson said a lot of things to Sherlock, but again, another reference.

I’m looking back at this and I went into a lot more detail then I expected to, so I’m just going to skip through the other parts. I don’t know, I might add to this later.

Blanc appears as an almost fatherly figure to Helen, and, as seen a surprising amount in the books, Sherlock liked to adopt a lot of his clients (basically all the Violets, etc). In the first movie, Blanc’s relationship with Marta could be interpreted the same way.

He mentions Cluedo at one point, claiming he doesn’t understand it, which wasn’t in the books but (unfortunately) immediately brought BBCSherlock to mind. Also, the Among Us thing, another game you would expect a detective to be good at.

Blanc’s use of metaphors (’It’s like putting a loaded gun on the table and turning off the lights’), his vocabulary and just his general manner is all reflective of Sherlock Holmes.

So, it’s not an exact adaptation, since it has it’s own plot and Sherlock... doesn’t sound like a cowboy. But, it still has the same Sherlockian essence to the Benoit Blanc character.

#wow i rambled #good luck when reading this #its amazing if you got this far #knives out #benoit blanc #daniel craig #Sherlock Holmes #sherlockholmes #Sherlock #ACD

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faintingheroine · 9 months

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https://www.eadeverell.com/forreaders/forbidden-love-22/ So this is the crap you keep putting in the same league as literal classic novels? No offense because I tried to like it and somehow managed to get through the end without skipping but this is one of the most inconsistent and incoherent novels I have ever read. It's not the translation. That was fine. The writing itself is bad and childish. The characters are all one-note and I can't see that complexity you keep talking about? I could MAYBE see Bihter being complex for this books' standards ten years ago but Nihal? She is just a hysterical teenager, nothing more. Most of the stuff you say about Nihal is made up by you. Where is the complexity? I am sorry but all the complexity you talk about is only in your head. The plot is also boring with bad pacing but some flowery language is used (if it was directly translated).

This is one of the most mediocre books I have read. No wonder nobody cares about it in its home country. You can read similar books by amateurs on Kindle Store for free. Some of your followers are oddly interested in it and it kind of comes across as fake, like they pretend to be interested in it. I keep getting the vibe that they're not interested but you keep posting about it and tagging everyone so they feel obliged to be nice. Like, I also pretend to be interested in my friends' interests so they don't feel alone when really I couldn't give a shit.

Sorry if it came across as harsh. I am only trying to tell you the reality.

Okay, so first of all, I am not the person who is pretending this is a classic novel. This is a classic novel in Turkey, and it got some (admittedly meager) outside interest as well. So shot that “it is like a Kindle Unlimited book” crap down because I am not buying it.

I am not making anything about Nihal. I am quoting from the book always and extrapolating the complexity from there. It is what all literary analysts do. I do see the complexity, and I again talk based on quotes almost always, so what I don’t get is your criticisms that the book is “inconsistent” and “incoherent” that you don’t attempt to prove in any way. Finding Nihal not complex is a bit more subjective, but saying that it is “inconsistent” and “incoherent” deserves more evidence.

What you say about my followers… I can’t of course verify it, I am not them, some of them might just trying to be nice, I got the feeling that they do sometimes. But I do think that some of them are interested as well. @omistressminewhereareyouroaming wasn’t a mutual of mine before reading the novel. I don’t know. I can’t know. Nobody can 100 percent know what another person feels.

I think translation, while fine, is definitely an element in your dislike of the book because in Turkey you wouldn’t dare compare this book to Kindle Unlimited books based on language alone.

I do consider this the first Anon hate I got due to the bit about my followers. Disliking the book is fine, but you did get oddly personal. You got recommended a book and didn’t like it. Okay? Wuthering Heights has a ton of negative book reviews on Goodreads and actually has a lower rating than Aşk-ı Memnu. It doesn’t determine the book’s value. You are frankly just one person and this book is valued in Turkey, maybe not to the extent I would like, but it has made an impact.

There are also many interesting literary criticisms written on it that I take my ideas from. It is not like I picked a random new book off the shelf and infused it with my own ideas. I did read others’ criticism on it before talking about it and I do frequently translate and post others’ criticism about it. So I know I am not delusional, or at least am not the only person delusional about it.

#aşk ı memnu #aşk-ı memnu #anon hate #anonymous #asks

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stillhavetodothat · 2 years

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Replaying Nancy Drew without cheating - Part Four: The Final Scene

AND HERE IT IS....

Is The Final Scene the MOST brilliant game in the entire Nancy Drew series??

Hear me out. It has literally everything you could ever want out of a Nancy Drew game. Danger. Mystery. A ticking clock. A lack of pointless chores. An intriguing backstory. An amazing soundtrack. An extremely sassy Nancy. A caked up Nicholas Falcone.

I think the ONLY thing that is missing from this game, honestly, is length. I think it is well-known in the community that this game is too short, especially on replay, but I recently learned that this was the first game that HerInteractive put out on a 2-a-year schedule, so the development was rushed. After TRT, the company almost could not afford to continue making games, so they had to switch strategies. Technically, FIN saved the franchise. In that context, the only disappointment is that they didn’t have more time to work on this absolute MASTERPIECE.

I also think my love for this game has grown after reading the book that it’s based on. Queen Simone Mueller was adapted from a boring male Simon Mueller, the talented Louisa Falcone was adapted froma boring male Louis Falcone. The Harry Houdini storyline was completely new in the game. Brady Armstrong having a vested interest in the theater demolition was also new in the game and made him a much more interesting and sinister character. I know that this book was written in the 80s, but Bess’s one-dimensionality (obsessed with food and boys) annoys me; much happier to see Vietnamese-American college student as the kidnapee instead.

Not cheating in this game was super easy for me. It’s another game I’ve played a dozen times, so even if I didn’t remember the exact sequence of events, I quickly was able to move the game along. I finished in under 3 hours, and that is with being consistently distracted by the NFL game my fiance had on in the background. Having three distinct days makes this game very sequential and hard to get stuck.

Some random thoughts I had during this replay:

1. Someone put this soundtrack on vinyl, PLEASE. I would literally murder someone to play this in the background while reading a book and smoking a joint on my couch.

2. Even as a child, I loved Nicholas Falcone. There is just something about a man with a passion. Nothing used to turn me on (still does turn me on) than Nicholas’s intellectual negging of a dim-witted Brady Charmstrong during the press conference. This was also the first time I really took the time to listen to the entire press conference from the ticket booth...pure gold.

3. Speaking of the ticket booth, taking to Sargeant Ramsay on the phone is absolutely hilarious. Who is this voice actor? Someone find him and give him more gigs. And Eustacia Andropov? An incredible character and a treat of a phone call as well. WHO WROTE THIS SCRIPT?? I think this is probably the funniest game there is.

4. Let’s just go ahead and go through some of the best quotes of the game. “I may have to cut this short, Hal. Someone just climbed out of my wardrobe.” (entirely unphased) “I think your phone’s about to ring.” “Take a breath and pinch yourself, because it’s reeeally happening: Brady Armstrong, in the flesh. Star of Vanishing Destiny? Go ahead, faint. I’ll catch you.” “Why don’t you tell that little grey troll that I think he did it just to keep himself from dying of boredom in this old dump. THAT’s my comment.” “Fight the power.” (a classic) "Mr. Charmstrong, do you find that your fans respond to you more in your chicken suit or curly wig?" “Maybe you’d better think about being ‘in on the law’ and ‘down with the truth’ Nicholas.” “More? I’m 96 over here. I don’t exactly have time to burn.” “You tell that Sherman Trout Eustacia said, ‘You’re not dead yet, Shermie, so get up and make yourself useful.’” “Armstrong: Uh, do we still like him or what?”

5. Joseph always scared the hell out of me. Even to this day. He is creepy and he IS a little grey troll. Why is he constantly trying to get me to leave the theater and go to bed in the middle of the day? Why is he lying about his brother Jake? Why is he always popping up in the most chilling way possible? I hate him. I suspected him from the very beginning.

6. When Nancy says that Maya never goes ANYWHERE without her press pass...ma’am you are an undergrad student at Washington University. Please calm down.

7. Not sure if anyone remembers, but back in the day on the HerInteractive message boards people used to put all the games they had finished in their signature for all their posts. Some would just put a list of all the games, but others would get creative (including me, although it wasn’t creativity on my part as much as it was copying other people). Their signature would say things like “I have Stayed Tuned for Danger,” or “I have discovered The Secret of the Scarlet Hand.” FIN’s was “I have seen The Final Scene” and I still to this day say this whenever I talk about this game with anyone. Throwback.

8. I never would have figured out the gum on wand bit if not for the message boards back in the day, and my memory of it now.

9. This is a game that is more about the mystery and less about the puzzles. I loved this one, even though this is probably the hardest part of the entire game (besides the gum on wand thing).

10. The ending is SO intense. Because I know exactly what to do, it is less so, but the whole thing still gives me goosebumps. That timer in the corner quickly ticking down? Hiding in the closet when the police do their final sweep? Joseph being an absolute psychopath? The focus knob breaking off? The KEYS? MAYA BEHIND GLASS?? TRYING TO BREAK THE GLASS WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER? JOSEPH BEING A PSYCHOPATH AGAIN?? (I can let it slide that defeating the culprit involves flashing them with a cheap prize from an ancient game in a decaying basement. It’s still so good).

11. Also, I have a print of this in my house right now because of this game. I don’t even know the artist, but I love it.

So thankful to rediscover my love for this game. Can it top Treasure in a Royal Tower and Dexter’s sexy, raspy voice? Maybe not. But it is up there.

Next stop: DC!

#nancy drew #nancy drew games #nancy drew pc games #pc gaming #herinteractive #the final rule #fin

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blue-shiver13 · 9 months

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Doubt you’ll respond to this publicly, but at least you’ll read it.

It’s cool you like HeavyMedic and all, and it’s great that there’s a plethora of content both in Valve and fan created content around the ship, but it’s kinda shitty you bash other ships that also ship Medic with other mercs, like EngiMedic, on your Twitter.

Sure, it ain’t a canon ship and it’s not as popular, but why hate it for literally no reason other than you don’t agree with it? I quote from your Twitter post:

“I fucking hate engimedic and the amount of good drawings it has from its community. I don't give a fuck about anything you say about it it's not canon and it literally has some mild evidence of being abusive. Heavy and medic have no domination lines directed DIRECTLY at eachother”.

So just because it’s not canon and you think it’s abusive, in your opinion, it’s therefore invalid and deserves hate? Additionally, a lot of people don’t even push for EngiMedic as canon, they do it because they enjoy the ship, like many other ships. I personally don’t ship HeavyMedic, but I still like the art and content people make of the ship.

But to sit here and bash a group of people for liking a ship because it’s not canon, and basically saying it doesn’t deserve the good art it has because of that, is childish af. Honestly grow up man, there’s nothing to hate about it. It’s one thing to not like or support it, but to sit here and bash it because you think HeavyMedic is superior and the only ship that should exist is crazy stupid.

First off, I didn’t bash the group I bashed the ship. I’d rather people who ship it stay away from me due to what I say in my third point. I never said it deserves hate and all I did was give my personal opinion.

Second, that post was from 2 months ago during a time I was more unstable than I am now. I have changed and I’m more accepting of it even though it can still sometimes send me into a downward spiral. Thank you for setting me back by a long time, you’ve only fueled my instability and inability to accept other views more.

Third, I have trauma that links to engimedic to the point where at times my mental state has gotten worse from just knowing it exists. I know it sounds crazy but this is what happens when you’re someone who used to be chronically online and almost half of the people you knew were abusive as shit. Due to other parts of my trauma I am unable to see Medic shipped with anyone but Heavy.

Fourth, I am a neurodivergent minor. I am HIGHLY attached to my view of TF2 and other views make me INSANELY uncomfortable. My view of TF2 is a hyperfixation of mine that I have had for 3 years.

Fifth, you’re a coward for not doing an ask on your real account. if you don’t like me or my opinions then you don’t need to follow me or interact with me. But if you want to interact so badly like you obviously do, use your normal account and don’t hide behind an anonymous ask like a coward.

Sixth, YOUR view of TF2 is not less valid than mine but if it includes something in my DNI I just prefer you keep those headcanons away from me due to my attachment to my view of TF2.

Finally, I have a question for you.

Why me? Why don’t you go bother someone else who’s actually done things that matter? You can literally just block me if you don’t like me, so why bring this up to me? Do you want to “change me” and if so, you did a terrible job at trying.

Oh yeah I almost forgot.

The only other ship between medic and another merc I’ve publicly bashed is a literal proship between Medic and Classic Heavy, HIS FUCKING ABUSER. So if you want to say that I “bash other ships that also ship Medic with other mercs” you’re showing me you have a problem with me bashing a proship.

If you were only referring to engimedic then you would only refer to engimedic.

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twistedtummies2 · 2 months

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Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes - Number 22

Welcome to A Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes! During this month-long event, I’ll be counting my Top 31 Favorite Fictional Detectives, from movies, television, literature, video games, and more!

SLEUTH-OF-THE-DAY’S QUOTE: “I am on a mission to protect the world’s idiots!”

Number 22 is…Ranpo Edogawa, from Bungo Stray Dogs.

“Bungo Stray Dogs” takes place in a world where many have gained superhuman abilities, so much so that it’s sort of become part of everyday life. (My Hero Academia is looking on with interest.) The plot focuses on the eternal conflict between two different organizations: the Armed Detective Agency, and the Port Mafia. The Agency is a group of superhuman private detectives, who use the combination of their sleuthing skills and their special powers to try and disrupt the Port Mafia’s activities…except when the Mafia and the Agency have to work together to down WORSE criminals, but that’s another story for another time. Interestingly, all of the major characters in the series take their names from famous authors, and have abilities, personalities, and demeanors inspired by those writers, their lives, and/or their greatest works.

Much like with Abby from NCIS, I’m sort of cheating by not actually including the main character of the show in this case. However, there’s a good reason for it: the main character of the series is a young man named Atsushi Nakajima, whose superhuman ability allows him to transform – either partially or entirely – into a massive white tiger. While he’s a really great protagonist, he’s actually not truly a great DETECTIVE: the way the show works essentially makes Atsushi to be the resident Watson of the team, so to speak. He’s actually someone who is LEARNING to be a good detective, from the various other characters on the team, who all have abilities and methods that help them solve problems in unique ways, and are all more experienced.

By far my favorite character in the show, and the most “classic” detective in the Agency, is Ranpo Edogawa. Now…I’m going to be honest and say that I know NOTHING about the author this character is named after. With most of the characters who are named after Japanese writers, I can’t tell you a THING about their inspirations, and I’m frankly not in the mood to do the necessary research to see how they reflect those writers and their works. Thankfully, in Ranpo’s case, I don’t really think I need to. Not only does he stand up perfectly fine on his own in general, but the way he functions seems to be more…universal, in terms of the kind of detective he is and the twists on the formula he presents.

Ranpo is an almost stereotypically Holmesian detective: he’s arrogant, at times childish, a bit mercurial, and absolutely brilliant. His power is referred to as “Super Deduction”: whenever Ranpo puts on a special pair of glasses, his perception and intelligence are supposedly given a big boost, allowing him to solve crimes with almost absurd quickness. In one episode, he literally solves a crime in less than a minute! Because of this incredibly “broken” ability, Ranpo has a big head about himself. He’s found openly and constantly declaring himself to be the best detective in the Agency, pontificating on his abilities, and generally annoying Atsushi as a result.

What’s interesting, however, is that none of the other Agency members get on Ranpo’s case most of the time, and they all genuinely agree that Ranpo is their best sleuth, overall. We eventually find out the surprising reason for this is that…Ranpo doesn’t actually HAVE any superpowers. At all. The glasses are just a placebo: he isn’t superhuman, he’s literally just that smart by his own terms. It’s later revealed that Ranpo is aware of this fact (though exactly how long he’s known is unclear), but he tries to play dumb about it because he doesn’t want to admit it openly to anyone. Edogawa, you see, has a lot of hidden insecurities beneath his Holmesian demeanor: before he met Fuzukawa, the leader of the Agency, he used to think of himself as “wrong,” as someone who was misplaced in the world, so to speak. As a result, he loves the sense of family and kinship he gets as a member of the Agency. He will do anything he feels necessary to protect his friends and fellow detectives, and doesn’t want any of them to look down on him for any reason.

If all of this isn’t cool enough, then here’s one more wrinkle: Ranpo has an enemy-turned-best-friend (and self-proclaimed rival) based on Edgar Allan Poe himself. Anyone who has Poe as their rival immediately gets a LOT of brownie points from me, by default. Honestly, just for that reason ALONE, I kind of feel bad for not placing Ranpo higher. I was sorely tempted to place him in the Top 20. However, since he isn’t the main character, nor even the main detective figure - just one member of a large ensemble of sleuths - I don’t think it’s ENTIRELY fair to put him up further in the ranks. It’s the same main reason I didn’t give the aforementioned Abby higher placement. Still, he’s a lot of fun and earns a great deal of respect from this goofball. The more I see of him, the more I like him.

Tomorrow, the countdown continues with Number 21!

CLUE: “If I’m not back in five minutes…just wait longer.”

#list #countdown #best #favorites #top 31 fictional detectives #gathering of the greatest gumshoes #number 22 #mystery #superheroes #anime #bungo stray dogs #ranpo #ranpo edogawa

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fluffytriceratops · 2 years

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Random Facts About Kristina. <3

Huehue-

Tags: @rheawritesforfun @digitl-art-monstr @thelaundrybitch @turtle-babe83 @post-apocalyptic-daydream @leosgirl82 @raphslovemuffin80 @raphielover @drowninghell @mysticboombox

- She has a photographic memory.

- Mother is a police woman. Father is a nurse.

- Her mother offered to help train her with firearms when she was younger, but she was afraid of them so she refused. She eventually does learn in her mid to late teens. She also carries around pepper spray and other self defense tools everywhere she goes. Originally, Kris had very little if any kind of combat abilities, generally relying on her intelligence to get her out of sticky/dangerous situations. However, not long after meeting the turtles, and going on numerous adventures with them, they convince her to learn ninjitsu and she becomes a highly competent fighter, displaying proficiency in martial arts and marksmanship.

- Kristina is an only child, raised by her parents Westly and Lorie who were originally from Denmark. They moved to New York after they got married. Her mother was in an accident and couldn't bear/conceive children, so they used her father's sperm and had a friend be their surrogate.

- Her birth mom, the friend, is a lovely Egyptian woman. She is basically an aunt to Kristina, and even after finding out she is her birth mother, Kris continues to see her as an aunt and nothing else.

- Growing up, Kristina was fascinated by ancient Greek and Egyptian mythology. She studied it in her free time, and wrote, read, and watched things about it. One of her dreams was to become a Egyptologist from a young age. She longed to travel the world, especially go to Egypt and Greece. A few of her biggest role models growing up were Evelyn O'Connell, Indiana Jones, and Lara Croft. She dreamed of being like them one day.

- At age 15, Kris was able to get a part time job at a book store. She worked there till she graduated High School and eventually quit to become a librarian when she was 18/19. She also goes to the New York University (also known as NYU) to study to become an Egyptologist or an Archaeologist. Eventually somewhere along the line she meets the Hamato brothers. And she couldn't be more happy to have them in her life.

- Kristina tends to be a optimistic person and tries to look on the bright side of things. She can be a bit skittish at times, but she's confident in some situations.

- She's relentless in her goals.

- She knows how to write and read ancient texts, and understand ancient tongues. As an adult, Kris retains her passion for knowledge and becomes more mature and less frightened.

- During her teen years, Kristina said that she had no time for romances, despite her later feelings for Raph, and when finally wedded to Raphael Hamato, she became inseparable from him.

- Kristina is incredibly hyperactive, cheerful, intelligent, bubbly, and optimistic. She's kind to everyone she meets, never threatening or harming anyone directly. Despite frequent scientific complications, Kris finds each failure as an opportunity to learn. She also admitted she had poor people skills and thought if she could help people, they would like her.

- She remembers the most random things. And likes to spew little weird facts at people.

- She's obsessed with books. She takes them with her everywhere. Literally everywhere. She always has at least one book on her person at all times. If you can't find her reading, she'll most likely be writing/drawing, practicing calligraphy or researching random facts.

- She tried to teach herself the hula dance from Lilo & Stitch when she was little, this resulted in her taking hula classes. Something she stopped during high school because, and I quote, "I just don't have the time". Though she does love to hula, and is pretty good at it.

- Kris has always been very serious about her grades. She's very smart, a classic nerd. She worked so hard, she never really made friends in school. She was always studying or doing some form of school work. She was constantly invited to things, but after a while of her constantly declining hanging out, people just stopped bothering to ask at all. This made her a bit of a loner in high school. But she had her books and she was mainly content.

- This is one of the main reasons why she cherishes the turtles friendship so much. Because she never really had any real friends before. It's a foreign feeling/experience but she loves it. And she does her best to be a good friend in return, despite her poor people skills.

- "For science!" a classic catchphrase of hers. Kristina will get herself in trouble/mischief sometimes and when lectured by a friend/family member she'll almost always respond with; "I had to do it, for science!" (or something of the sort)

- Curiosity may just be the end of her. (Raph definitely hovers and feels like he has to keep a close eye on her, lest she go off and do something dumb in the name of curiosity/science).

- She's obsessed with Donnie's lab. She thinks it's very cool and could spend hours in there if they let her. Kris and Donnie definitely go into little tangents, they could talk for hours about science and similar topics.

- Kris and Mikey are doodle buddies. I can honestly see them hanging out for hours just drawing with each other. They'd share little tips and tricks and show each other their art work. It'd be really cute and wholesome.

- She likes to read/draw/write/study while Raph works out. If you can't find her with Donnie, you'll most likely find her with Raphael. Sometimes she'll join him, but she'd rather sit on his shell while he's doing push ups, or lay underneath him, or off to the side somewhere and watch him work. She finds it very attractive, and she likes to watch him train. She thinks it/he's cool lol.

- (mainly for RiseLeo) Kris does not understand his jokes/puns a good majority of the time. Humor isn't really her thing, and sometimes she'll just sit there like; O.O. "I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that. Do you think you could explain the joke to me?" Leo probably either A) tries even harder to make her laugh/react. Or B) eventually just gives up entirely and tries to avoid telling her jokes. "Why do I even try with you?" (LMAO) I can totally see Leo telling a joke and Kris not understanding it, and immediately following up with the most bizarre fact and then Leo's the one who's confused/disturbed.

Leo: *pulls off some kind of cringey dad joke*

Kristina: "Did you know that a ducks penis is like a corkscrew?" (she'd also say this completely straight faced-)

Leo: O.O "Why- How do you even know this?"

(Either that or he'd be intrigued and want to know more of her weird ass facts.)

- IMAGINE: she's on a date with Raphael and all of a sudden just blurts out the most random/weird thing- he ends up choking on his food and she's patting his back all innocent- maybe even continuing on with her lil story.

Idk- I have more but imma leave it on that note so this isn't too long hehe.

^^ her friends/family every time Kris opens her mouth to tell them the latest fact she's learned. ^^

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