TSC CHAPTER ELEVEN SPOILERS AHEAD
STARTING OFF THE CHAPTER STRONG AS FUCK DISASTER BISEXUAL JEAN MOREAU AWARENESS
picturing jean in a pair of raybans is good for my mental health
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“Missed a couple spots. Need a hand?”
jeremy u flirt
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do the trojans ever realise that jean is NOT IN FACT deaf and standing right in front of them when they are talking about him?
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oh ok so chapter 11 is in fact worse than chapter 10
if anyone reading this has ever believed that they deserved the abuse, trauma/suffering they’ve experienced, i’m here to tell u right now that nobody deserves that and it is not ever ur fault, no matter what others might say or try to convince u. whatever happened to u is unequivocally not ok. please seek help from a professional if u are worried about urself or others in ur life.
if u have ever felt uncomfortable or violated in certain situations just know that no matter how ‘big’ or ‘small’ the situation may seem (i use these terms loosely because i do not believing in ranking peoples traumas), ur feelings are 100% valid and u always always deserve to be respected and heard.
i hope u know that u are not alone and never will be.
sending lots of love to all of u
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wtff jenkins is a girl?? did we all know this or have i just read too many fanfics always thought jenkins was a guy?
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It was sacrilegious even in the privacy of his head, and Jean hunched his shoulders against a blow that never came.
fuck that’s a good line. traumatic as fuck and makes me wanna cry for all these boys have gone through but god as an ex-catholic raised queer person i can tell u this line struck hard even though i cant relate to the specifics of the scene
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Jean didn’t mind cooking, but he didn’t say that. This was the first time his room truly felt safe and right, and he was content to hold onto it for as long as he could. He closed his eyes again, but now his thoughts were snagged on Jeremy. At length he broke the silence to say, “Two beds would fit in here.”
jean moreau u are so loved
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“You are not them,” Jean said. “Kevin would not have sent me here if you were.”
THE PARALLELS IN THIS BOOK ARE FUCKING KILLING ME PLS NORA LET ME LIVE IN PEACE THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE
ANDREIL EXISTS IN EVERYTHING
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Just because he had to meet with this man didn’t mean he had to speak to him.
jean, u diss aaron earlier in the books but really ur just the same as him
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betsy dobson to the mother fuckibg rescue someone get this bitch a ‘worlds best therapist’ mug
and jean, dude do u know how fucking similar u and neil are, seriously like u guys should be besties like-
“It was not my choice,” he sent back in warning. “I do not need counseling.” He didn’t trust her at all, but there was no point spelling it out.
CHAPTER TWELVEE
dude wtf is it with me and napping while tryna finish this book, literally just accidentally fell asleep for 2.5 hrs when i could’ve been reading
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“Imagine getting changed so we can practice,” Jean said.
king is fed uppp
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“It’s not about size, anyway.” “Defensive,” Jean said, tugging his glove straps with his teeth. Jeremy straightened in indignation. “I don’t have anything to be defensive about.” Jean lost his grip and bit his lip, and Jeremy hurried on before either of them could think too much about that double entendre.
OKKKK JEREMY I SEE U
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“That’s not—I do care. I want you to play with us, and I want you to have fun again. I want to see what you can do on the court and what you bring to our defense line. I want us to finally win this year after coming so close and failing too many times. But it’s just a game, Jean. Your safety and happiness will always be more important than our season.”
GOOD GOD ITS WHAT U DESERVE JEAN
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“Every time you say that you take a year off my life. I’d really like to live to ninety, so please knock it off.”
now the trojans understand how the foxes feel when neil whips out his ‘im fine’ line,, also i’m never gonna stop saying that neil and jean should be besties it’s literally just a fact
“I do not believe you when you are drinking such filth,” Jean said, with a disapproving look toward her drink. Laila stared him down as she sucked a long gulp through the straw,
this book is so devastatingly depressing and explores some of the most horrible traumatic things that could happen to a person but it’s interspersed with some of the funniest scenes that it gives me whiplash
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“Pat and Ananya have wanted to fuck Cody’s brains out for almost a year now. I really thought Cody moving in with them this summer was going to finally get that ball moving, but apparently not. It’s getting kind of pitiful.” “Pat and Ananya have been engaged almost as long as Cody has known them,” Laila pointed out as she fit herself against Cat’s side. “You can’t blame Cody for being scared of where they might belong in something like that.”
NORA GIVING US THE POLYAMORY WE DESERVE AFTER CUTTING KANDREIL FROM THE OG BOOKS LETS GO QUEER REP
YK THAT RUNNING JOKE THAT USC IS THE QUEEREST TEAM AND NOBODY HAS AS MANY GAYS AS THEY DO??? IM SO FUCKIBG HAPPY NORA HAS BASICALLY MADE THAT CANNON
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CHAPTER 13333
jeremy is so hopelessly crushing on jean and that’s real of him
meanwhile jean:
Threat assessment, he told himself, and it was almost the truth.
sureee buddy
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They’d arrived holding hands and dressed in matching cream-and-teal outfits. Even their gold-rimmed sunglasses and teal sneakers were identical.
well that is definitely an outfit!
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“Speaking of happy endings, has Laila bought you a sex toy yet?”
EXCUSE ME
this whole scene was so fucking random but jean deserves great friendships
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ANOTHER TRANS TROJAN LETS FYCKING GOOOOOO CONGRATS ON UR TOP SURGERY XAVIER
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‘i’m sure the ravens wouldn’t have taken neil in if they’d known he was the son of a mob boss!!’
uhhhhh…
i don’t know how to tell u this buddy
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dude i just cannot stop think about the whole new world of fanfics we’re gonna get now that tsc has come out like the aftg universe is expanding and becoming more detailed it’s gonna be crazy
chapter 14!!!
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Jean eyed him. “For what purpose?” Jeremy looked to the ceiling for patience. “For fun.” Jean sighed as if Jeremy was the one being unreasonable.
oh jean we’ll get there eventually
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Jean was a starving dog on a short chain who’d learned years ago not to bite back.
OH MY FUCKING GOD GIVE ME PEACE
MY CHEST IS ACHING AT THIS METAPHOR
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SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP THE PARALLELS ARE DESTROYING ME I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE
“You are Jean Moreau. Your place is here with me, with us. I’m your captain. You’re my partner. We’re supposed to be doing this together, aren’t we? Stop leaving me behind. Look at me.”
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“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that he hurt you, I’m sorry that you’re still afraid to talk about it, and I’m sorry that you think I’ll never understand. I’m sorry that he tricked you into thinking you deserved it. But I’m not sorry he’s gone. I can’t be.”
“Neither am I.”
TEAR MY HEART OUT AND STOMP ON IT NORA JESUS CHRIST
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everytime one of the trojans says ‘we’re here to listen whenever your ready to talk and open up to us’ and then they go and demand he tell them every secret he’s ever kept
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kevin and jeans relationship in this book is so fucking well written, it’s tearing me apart and giving me so much life
they have so much shared trauma and the relationship is so complex but they understand eachother so deeply
He is not used to having a voice, and he has never had power. I cannot promise he will ever talk to you.” “I will wait as long as it takes,”
“Be careful with it,” Kevin said. “Be careful with him.”
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“Night practices with Andrew and Neil,” Kevin said. “Obsessed,” Jeremy
exy fiend kevin day representation
also
“No, Jean is fine. As fine as he can be, anyway. Yes, I know.” (kevin when talking to someone ‘offscreen’) i just know he was talking to neil
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She crossed the room and leaned over, catching Jean’s head in her hands so she could plant a kiss to the top of his head.
this is the love jean deserves
chapter 15:
“Your fourth line has a smart mouth, Coach,” Jean said. “I was hoping he would bite his tongue off in the fall and save us both some grief in the long run.”
jean i love u
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Jean wished he had the common sense to shut up,
he’s so me
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“And keep Kevin’s name out of your ignorant mouth,”
THEYRE SO IMPORTANT TO ME UR HONOUR
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i keep forgetting that jean only learnt english after he moved into evermore and that kevin probably taught him but i love the subtle little reminders every now and then when he has to clarify a word, like when he has to ask what a ‘floozy’ is and:
due to egregious injuries.” Jean didn’t recognize that word, but since Lucas was already running his mouth, he didn’t get a chance to ask.
it’s such a good detail that just adds so much more depth to his character
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“Permission to break his face, Coach?” Jean asked. “Denied,” White said.
SCREAMING
THIS IS SO NEIL AND WYMACK CODED I LOVE IT
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JEAN MOREAU ON A MOTHERFUCKING MOTORCYCLE HOLY SHIT
catalina alvarez u wonderful human i love u
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jean realising how big the world is and the fact that he’s explored more of california than any other place he’s been before is making me tear up he never should’ve been kept trapped inside he deserves to see the world
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So long as she existed as fractured memories, she was safe and small and sheltered.
oh god don’t do this to me
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Jean gazed out at the endless horizon, feeling small and infinite from one moment to the next.
beautiful, just beautiful, absolutely immaculate
A cool evening breeze. Rainbows. Open roads.
A COOL EVENING BREEZE. RAINBOWS. OPEN ROADS
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SECOND LAST CHAPTER!!! LETS GOOO
“He is not going to hit you. Okay? We don’t do that here. You said you’d try to do better and that’s enough for us.”
starting off strong
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You’re one of my kids now.
don’t mind me i’m just sobbing
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no no no no no no no no no
holy shit no what the fucking fuck
don’t do this to jean rn oh my fucking god i’m sick to my stomach on the verge of fully crying right now
actually dreading reading on right now
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um ok yeah so i read it and to anyone who hasn’t finished the book yet beware there is a graphic violent scene followed by an intense panic attack in chapter 16 that’s is very difficult to read
i did cry and all i can say is thank fuck for lisinski’s timing
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Jeremy’s response was low but unhesitating: “I will not look away.” “I do not want you to look.” It frightened him how much it sounded like a lie,
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only redeeming part of this chapter is that neil’s back but i’m still in so much shock over what’s just happened that i cant properly appreciate him
chapter 17 the finale:
feeling incredibly somber as i reach the end of the book
please god destroy anyone who has ever hurt jean moreau
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nora’s really filling in all the plot holes left from aftg - why did nobody question why neil’s hair was dyed after evermore ????? why did nobody question neil being at evernote in the first place???
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i’m laughing at neil’s map print-outs he’s so uncool, also i keep forgetting this is still meant to be 2007
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jean-yves moreau oh my fucking god
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“says who?” Stuart asked. “The dead kid?
stuart hatford u are so funny, is this where neil inherited is sarcasm from?
stuart hatford says fuck riko and so do i
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Neil shrugged. “Do you have anyone who can take on local work?”
NEIL JOSTEN U ARE MY HERO I LOVE U U BADASS MOTHER FUCKER
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Neil offered her a disarming smile that would never sit quite right on his face.
devouring these scraps about my boy
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YOOOO WTF NORA RLLY JUST WANTED TO GIVE JEAN THE WORST FUCKING DAY HE COULD POSSIBLY HAVE HUH?? JUST DROPPED THE FACT THAT HIS SISTER IS DEAD MY POOR BOY
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Neil filled in the finer details with an ease that would have been impressive to listen to any other day
- yes neil is incredibly smart, thank u jean for confirming to us
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The only thing left to ask for was something he barely understood: “I want to go home.”
oh the complicated nature of home and one’s sense of belonging that persists throughout these books will never fail to make me feel absolutely everything. nora knows exactly what i want in a book
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“I can see the kitchen. There should be a door out to where the dumpsters are. We can make it back to the garage from there.”
to be loved by neil josten is to be offered a way to evade the fbi together
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“Tedious,” Neil said. “I’m trying to eat.”
my hero
Neil waited until he was done before deciding he wanted to finish his drink. Neither agent was impressed with their absolute lack of urgency,
i love u neil josten pls give me ur autograph
Neil, being the person he was, pointed at the fire hydrant adjacent to its front bumper and said, “That’s illegal, just so you know.” “Shut up and get in the car.”
i wish neil josten was real
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He couldn’t fear a government who was so easily infiltrated and manipulated
FUCK THE GOVERNMENT
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Neil flipped his takeout box open and started eating. “I’m allowed to visit people.”
he’s everything to me 🥰
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“You’re one to accuse others of intolerable attitudes,” Browning said, and Neil only shrugged indifference.
and—for once—without any of your usual bullshit.”
- browning u love him just like the rest of us don’t lie rn
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ngl i’m never getting over the fact that jean and neil are the same age like this is crazy to me nora whyd u have to do this i cant cope
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“The more people I hold onto, the less of a threat I am, because I won’t want to endanger them by acting out.”
oh neil look how far uve come, i’m so proud
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“Lock your door tonight if it will help, but Grayson will never bother you again.”
THANK U LORD FOR THE BRILLIANT NEIL JOSTEN HES ANSWERED MY PRAYERS U BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL HUMAN IM SO THANKFUL FOR UR PRESENCE
all my favourite bamf! neil fics have him taking out a hit on someone for the benefit of the people he loves and i’m so glad that’s canon
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i’m going fucjing crazy i didnt think it was possible to love neil anymore than i already do
best friends ❤️
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jean tearing up and throwing away the notebooks and realising he trusts the trojans and the four of them going to eat one of cats new recipes after they waited up last midnight for him
A COOL EVENING BREEZE RAINBOWS OPEN ROADS AND FRIENDS
!!!!!
I CSNT BELIEVE ITS OVERRRRR I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS HOLY FUCK
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I saw your post about jeremy paying off jeans debt to moriyamas and im screaming
OBVIOUSLY jean would not want that because he feels like hes just being bought by another person (but a more healed jean might not. Depends on when it happens tbh)
And omfg,,,, yeah jeremy is probably very rich since he has a butler and a personel chef (which I find are VERY expensive in america for some reason. Especially such good ones) his family even has connections to congressmen. So to think he could probably pay off the mafia is a bit exaggerated, and it would take millions (jeremys entire bank account probably)
And its so,,,,, UGH can you Imagine how it would go. Neil would probably have to be present to help handle it (neil is officially jeans agent to handle mafia business imo)
Amd jeremy being free would also cause and existential crisis. What was jean going to do with his life was jean now jeremys puppet would jeremy still be nice to him now that he has control over jean what does he want to do now.
It also raises the question of what jean would think of exy now that he isnt obligated to play it.
(Sorry this is a lot lol)
this became so much longer than i anticipated BUT
do not apologize I LOVE THIS
ok so. jean would definitely not want jeremy to buy his freedom.
because…what is ‘freedom.’
i think the jean now, that we’ve met after tsc1, would be fucking pissed if jeremy bought his freedom. i think he would not feel…safe? around jeremy? because— now that he owns me, he can do anything he wants to me. i think that it would put such a rift in the precarious trust they’ve built. even at the end of tsc, jean tells jeremy “i trust you” and immediately thinks i have no choice but to. and then is like wweeeeelllll that doesn’t exactly feel true though. so i think jeremy doing that would be like a ���what the fuck, was not expecting that’ moment.
but jeremy. jeremy. we have seen that if he has the means to do something, he will do it. let me push away my familial issues and answer lucas’s call. do you feel safe with your brother? he would have picked lucas up. he would have found somewhere else for lucas to stay. i will focus on others’ problems so i do not have to face my own. i will be your partner. i will buy two twin beds and move into your room.
so, sorry, to backtrack: i think jean will eventually tell jeremy the full truth. i think jean won’t be able to stop himself, same with his other confessions—i didn’t ask. they didn’t know. jeremy asks the right questions with so much care that jean’s mouth starts moving before he thinks through what he’s supposed to say. jean subconsciously feeling safe enough to speak freely around jeremy, cat, and laila is a WHOLE other thing but i digress
and jeremy will go into “fix-it” mode. will call kevin with the idea. and kevin will be like “do not fucking do that” and i think neil will somehow get involved (especially if jeremy went through with it anyway. neil will go just to make sure jeremy does not, y’know, get fucking killed. also? how do you contact the mafia?). jean will also tell jeremy “do not fucking do that.” 1, because. this is the. this is the fucking mafia. they could absolutely kill you. they could say, “aaaah. yeah, you can buy jean’s freedom, but [insert damning terms that indebt you to us.]” and you can’t just…deny the mafia. it’s a suicide mission. and 2 because…jean doesn’t think he deserves it. he’ll think he’s not worthy of it. i don’t think he would be able to fathom the word ‘freedom.’ i think he would think of it, exactly like you said, as being bought. passed from one owner to the other.
and, if jeremy did it, he would reassure him. would be like “no you can make your own decisions. you can do what you want. you can change your major. you can play exy for fun or go pro by choice.”
and jean, i think, would just crumble. he obviously doesn’t like being owned (who does) but that’s all he’s had for 5 years. that’s all he has survived by. i am jean moreau. i belong to the moriyamas. imagine the mantra that has kept him alive for 5 years just…not being true anymore. he would be going from who am i without the ravens? to who am i without the moriyamas? like you said, what a fucking existential crisis.
i genuinely think it would fuck up their dynamic. i think jean would feel like he owes jeremy something. and jeremy would tell him he doesn’t. but i don’t think jeremy would quite…trust jean in a romantic sense. like, is he just initiating [romantic or sexual act] because he thinks he owes it to me? or even as a friendship, honestly. is he just agreeing to [friend activity] because he thinks he has no choice but to listen to me?
so jean wouldn’t be able to trust jeremy because he would feel owned, and that’s trauma baby. and jeremy wouldn’t be able to trust jean because he would feel like jean is, well, trauma responding. fawn, freeze. agree, acquiesce, repent.
so yeah it is grounds for LOTS of angst and … i’m having many thoughts.
maybe these thoughts would change after tsc2 comes out, but either way, i definitely do not see jean being particularly grateful or thankful. i see it as jean being like “you are a fucking idiot” and “why would you do that to yourself” and “why would you do that for me”
oh hey and imagine if they have the “what were you thinking, why would you do that” conversation and a love confession happens. and jeremy is like “bc i fucking??? love you??? [or something]” and like??? it would be so conflicting for them BOTH because jean [in the case that he does love jeremy back]: do i say i love you back. do i push him away for his own safety. but i don’t want to be ungrateful (and get punished), and jeremy: oh god. he’s going to think he needs to say it back. how will i know how he actually feels.
and i almost forgot about the money part of it ok—
yeah so i think the only way ichiru would accept jeremy’s deal was if they calculated how much a pro exy player’s salary and multiplied it by… let’s say a 10 year career? that would put jean at roughly 30ish when he retires? i think they would be like “ok, pay us for what we would have gotten for jean’s career.” (if they even entertained the thought).
dude i cannot even conceptualize how much money that would be. millions upon millions. and i guess jeremy could pay them in increments? but? idk. i did the math for like if jean made a million a year but my fucking brain. hurts. so i can’t get into that
but YEAH!!!
oh the angst. especially if jean said “there is no fucking way in hell you are doing that” and jeremy said “okay i won’t” and did it anyways …..
there’s also the thought that jeremy just…didn’t tell jean he had bought his freedom. if he just let jean live thinking he was cut loose. but then. the guilt jeremy would feel, keeping that information from him. jean has never been able to make his own decisions, and here he is, building a life for himself and not even knowing the real reason why he’s able to do so.
would they just be able to talk and move past it and rebuild that trust? would this be like some kind of fuckin shakespearean tragedy???
in this hc i just have to believe that they work past it and communicate because. holy shit this is messy
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