#i miss going to my grandparents' every sunday :(

[fanficgirl429]

Mike has feelings for you (fluff)

Prompt: During a family get together, your best friend Mike reveals that he has feelings for you

Pairing: Mike Schmidt x Reader

---

The front door slammed shut behind Abby, who was outside playing with a few kids from the neighborhood. Your best friend was standing in the doorway of the living room, leaning against the door frame. 

“Do you want to come tonight?” you ask him. 

He walks over to where you're standing and wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug. 

“Do I want to come where?”

“To my grandparents for dinner. It’s Sunday.”

Every Sunday, you had dinner with your extended family. Your dad’s side of the family was large and everyone was close. Mike and Abby used to come most Sunday’s but once Mike had gotten a job as a security officer at the mall, he had to work most Sunday’s. Every now and then Abby would join you but it had been a while since either of them had come. 

You enjoyed it when they both came and Mike liked to see Abby having fun with kids her own age. Abby went to school with a few of your younger cousins and she enjoyed playing with them. 

“Yea, we can come,” Mike answers. 

----

The large house was filled with your family as you, Mike, and Abby walk inside. Instantly your younger cousins spot Abby and pull her away to go play with them in the basement. Mike laces his fingers with yours as you guide him to the kitchen where you mom, grandmother, and aunt are gathered. 

They all greet you and Mike and you don’t miss the glance of your mothers eyes as she looks down at yours and Mike’s hands still laced together. 

Mike and you had been best friends since elementary school and she always said that one day you and Mike would get married. You were constantly telling her no that would never happen but over the years, your feelings for Mike had changed. When you once had seen him as your best friend, you now had fallen in love with him. You weren’t sure when your feelings had changed but they had never disappeared. The two of you were always touching each other but it had always been platonic. 

“Come on,” you say and lead Mike into the living room, where the majority of your family is. 

The two of you are greeted by everyone and it seems as if a few people are more excited to see Mike than they are to see you. Your family had always loved Mike and were always telling you to bring him with you when you visited. 

~~

After dinner was done, you and Mike went your separate ways for a bit. He went into the living room to watch football while you helped clear the table and wash the dishes. 

“So when are you and Mike going to make it official?” your cousin, Lacy, asks you. 

You let out a laugh at her question. “Um never.”

Lacy shakes her head, disappointed by your answer. “It’s going to happen.” 

“What makes you say that?” 

“Did you not see the way he was looking at you all through dinner? Damn, if I had someone that looked at me like that, I would never let him go!”

“He did not look at me the whole time,” you counter. 

“He did! Whenever you were talking, he was looking across the table at you and whenever you laughed, his eyes lit up. That boy is completely in love with you.” 

You look across the room at your best friend, who is currently mesmerized by the large tv screen. He must feel you looking because his brown eyes meet yours and gives you a soft smile. 

Lacy notices the interaction and whispers, “I told you,” before turning back to load the dishwasher. 

When the table is all cleared, you stay in the kitchen talking to your mom, grandmother, Lacy, and a few aunts. Occasionally you glance over at Mike to make sure he is doing is ok. Abby has been in the basement with your cousins and you know that she is not going to want to leave. Hopefully the two of them can come over most Sundays. It was a good way to get the two of them (especially Mike) out of their house. 

Two strong hands grip your shoulders and turn around to see Mike standing behind you. 

“Hey,” you greet him. 

“Hi,” he says, smiling. “Just wanted to check in with you and see how you’re doing.” 

He squeezes your shoulders while he talks to your aunts. 

When the conversation grows quiet, you stand up from the table. “Want to go outside?” you ask him quietly. 

You loved hanging out with your family but after a while, you needed a few minutes to yourself. 

“Yea.” 

Mike follows you out the front door and onto the large wrap around porch. You place your hands on the railing and look out across the large yard. A short distance away is a small pond with a dock. During the summer, the pond was home to a family of ducks and you have memories of sitting at the water's edge watching the ducklings swim across the pond.  

Mike stands next to you, his fingers grazing yours. “My family keeps telling me how glad they are that you and Abby came,” you tell him. 

Mike smiles. “I’m glad we came too.”

Its silent for a few moments and a cool breeze blows, causing goosebumps to scatter across your skin. You let out a small shiver and Mike instantly notices. He pulls off his black hoodie and hands it to you without saying a word. You pull the sweatshirt on and Mike takes a step towards you. He moves behind you and pulls you against him, his arms wrapping around your stomach. 

His body heat makes you instantly warm and you lean your back against him, relaxing your body. 

“So I was talking to Lacy,” he begins. 

“Oh god. What did she have to say?”

If it was anything like the conversation you had with your, youre not sure you want to hear what he has to say. 

“She kept asking," So when are you and Y/N going to be official?” he tells you. 

You let out a laugh and bury your face in your hands. “I had a very similar conversation with her.” 

Mike laughs. “Did you?” 

“Yes! She was like ‘Mike’s into you. He couldn’t take his eyes of you during dinner, blah blah blah.’” 

Mike sighs. “Well she's not wrong,” he says, quietly. 

You're surprised by Mike’s comment. You turn around and look at him. He doesn’t loosen his grip around your waist as his brown eyes bore into yours. 

“What are you saying?” you ask him. 

Mike moves his hand up to your cheek and gently pushes a few strands of hair behind your ear. A slight blush reddens your cheek from his gesture. 

“I’m 100% into you,” he says. 

“W-what?”

“I’m into you,” he says, slowly. 

Instead of saying anything in return, you stand on your tiptoes and press your lips against his. He tastes like the beer that he had drunk earlier as his lips move against yours. 

After a few moments, Mike pulls away but presses his forehead against yours. 

“What if we keep this between us for a few days?” he says. 

You think about his offer for a minute. “Just a few days,” you respond before pressing your lips back to his. 

#mike schmidt imagine #mike schmidt fnaf #mike schmidt #josh hutcherson #josh hutcherson imagine #final mike #final mike schmidt #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt fluff #josh hutcherson x reader

[laurenairay]

Summer days pass me by - T. Jost

“I feel like I’m stuck, doing the same thing over and over with the same nothing at the end. I need to do something new. Wanna help me make this the best summer ever?”

“You do know that sounds like the start of a coming of age film, right?”

Summary: Mollie Thomas has been friends with Tyson Jost since they were children – but this summer by the lake could change everything.

Warnings: childhood friends to lovers, some bad language, a little angst

Word Count: 9.5k

A/N: I love Tyson Jost so much – this is a super indulgent fic that I started back in August 2020, and it’s been one hell of a journey writing it, including a complete rewrite about 2/3 through. This OC was actually the first one I ever attempted on hockeyblr, although I’ve since written a fair few in stories I've since posted over the years, and she holds a special place in my heart.

This Tyson blurb I wrote in July 2022 is what inspired me to rewrite this story (and thank you @bqstqnbruin for all the encouragement to finish it!).

~

If there was one thing about summer that Mollie Thomas loved the most, it was being by the lake. As soon as the weather was good enough, she would head up there with friends to relax, have barbecues and mess around on the water. Being by the lake simply was the epitome of summer, sunshine and friendship – she’d grown up doing it, her parents trusting her to go alone since the age of 15, and now 10 years later (despite some friends moving away), she still loved nothing more than watching the days roll on by from the lakeshore.

Utter bliss.

Mollie had been teaching history at the local Kelowna high school ever since graduating from the local college three years ago, and when the weather started getting consistently sunny, she even went up to the lake some evenings after work, depending on who was around. But now that the end of the school year was approaching, she would no longer be restricted to the occasional evening after work, and she honestly couldn’t wait.

Why? Because soon one of her best friends would be coming back to Kelowna for the summer. Tyson Jost.

Mollie had known Tyson ever since he’d moved to Kelowna to live with his grandparents when he was 13, his family's house being down the road from Mollie’s family. Her older brother John had been on the same hockey team as Tyson, so he’d always been around – but with John being a couple of years older than them, Tyson and Mollie had become fast friends.

Sure, things had become harder when Tyson had gotten more serious with ice hockey. When Mollie’s brother John had quit playing, choosing to focus on school instead, Mollie had been worried that they wouldn’t want to hang out any more – but that wasn’t the case. Hockey or no hockey, Tyson had always been there for her, and she knew she could count on him for anything.

He was the guy that encouraged her to get out of her comfort zone. He was the guy that turned to her for help asking out his first girlfriend Sarah Cooper. He was the guy that punched her first boyfriend for kissing Jenny Prince behind her back. He was the guy that made her laugh down the phone when college had been stressful. He was the only guy that she would wear another team’s colours for whenever he played against the Canucks. He was the guy that called her with a broken heart when the Avs had traded him. He was the guy that she looked forward to seeing most every summer, and she couldn’t wait to see him this year.

She missed him – who could blame her?

It was a Sunday afternoon, just about to head into the last week of the school year, and Mollie was soaking up the sun by the lake with some of her best friends; Bryony, Louis, Michael, Chase and Allison. There had been other people hanging out with them in the morning, including Mollie’s brother John and his wife Michelle, but the remaining six were the tightest group. So tight, that they’d all chipped in to rent a cottage together this summer, Allison’s uncle owning a couple in the area and offering them first dibs. Naturally, they’d all sprung at the chance of having a summer home base, even if not all of them were there all the time, so Mollie had that to look forward to starting next weekend, the moment that the school year ended. Bryony, Louis and Michael were also teachers, although across various different schools to Mollie, so at least she wouldn’t be the only one up at the cottage during the weekdays.

“Anyone for a refill?”

Mollie turned her head to the camping chair next to her, watching Bryony stand up and wiggle her empty can in the air. Mollie nodded, smiling at her friend, and a few others nodded too. As soon as Bryony walked away, Allison plunked down in the vacated seat, turning to Mollie with a grin.

Allison was probably Mollie’s closest girlfriend in Kelowna – also living on the same street as Mollie’s family – and while the two of them couldn’t have looked more different (Allison a curvaceous insta-airbushed blonde compared to Mollie’s chestnut hair and tomboy runner’s body), Allison had encouraged Mollie to be as confident and friendly as her, and Mollie was forever grateful. Sure, Allison was an incorrigible flirt and flitted between jobs, and sure Mollie had her moments where her anxiety got the better of her – but Allison was as close a friend to her as Tyson was, and Mollie loved that.

Even when Allison’s grin spelled troublemaker, like it did right now as Allison got comfy in Bryony’s vacated chair.

“So you know how my Uncle’s got me helping out with administration for his holiday home rentals this summer, in exchange for us getting our cottage for a lower price?” Allison prompted.

Mollie raised an eyebrow at the glee in her friend’s voice. Whatever it was, clearly she was excited about it – and considering that the cottage had been a good deal, clearly this was good gossip.

“Yeah, I remember…why?” Mollie mused.

“Well, a couple of cottages on this side of the lake have been rented…one of them by someone you know very well…”

Mollie knew her friend meant well, but this cryptic stuff was not helping.

“Out with it, Ally,” Mollie said bluntly.

“Tyson rented the cottage closest to ours for two months,” Allison grinned.

What?

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

“He’s going to be here all summer?” Mollie asked, excited.

“Yep! As far as I’ve heard, Tyson’s got some buddies coming up to stay with him at various points, and probably his sister too. I don’t know when or for how long, but there’s definitely enough rooms for all of them in that cabin to be there together so it’s going to be so much fun!” Allison told her, “Now that I think about it, I probably wasn’t meant to tell you. Tyson was probably keeping it as a surprise. Oops.”

Mollie just giggled, too happy to care that Tyson hadn’t said anything to her about his plans. It had been too long since she’d seen her childhood friend – summers just weren’t enough time with him – and knowing that he was going to be around for two solid months just made her heart soar. This was everything.

“Oh man, this is going to be the best summer,” Mollie sighed happily.

“Maybe this summer you and Tyson will finally admit how much you love each other.”

Mollie rolled her eyes, shaking her head. For some reason, Allison (and the rest of their other friends) had it in their heads that her friendship with Tyson was more than platonic. Sometimes it got really annoying because honestly nothing had ever happened between them (not even a hint of an almost) but she tried not to let it bug her. She knew where she stood with Tyson – yeah, he was incredibly handsome, with a good heart and a wonderful smile, but she wouldn’t trade their friendship for anything. Ever.

“We’re just friends, Ally-cat,” Mollie sing-songed, rolling her eyes.

“We’ll see,” Allison sing-songed back.

Honestly. Troublemaker.

Mollie ignored her friend’s laughter as she pulled out her phone, opening up her text thread with Tyson.

From: Mollie

A little birdy tells me you’ve rented a cabin by the lake for the summer…

Mollie barely had to wait a couple of minutes before her phone buzzed with a reply.

From: Tyson

I swear Ally can’t keep her mouth shut.

I was trying to surprise you!

Mollie giggled to herself, ignoring Allison’s wriggling eyebrows.

From: Mollie

Trust me, I’m surprised.

School finishes next week – I can’t wait to see you!

It really had been too long.

“Tell your future husband we miss him!” Allison crowed.

“Oh you’re texting Tyson? Say hi from me!” Chase grinned from across the chair circle.

Mollie stuck her tongue out at him as Allison cackled next to her. Her friends were such dicks sometimes.

From: Mollie

The gang say hi and that they all miss you

“Done, happy?” Mollie said dryly.

“Extremely,” Allison grinned, looking like the cat that ate the canary.

“I don’t know why I like you at all,” Mollie said bluntly, although her smile gave away her lie.

Allison just wriggled her eyebrows again, earning laughter from the whole group and another eye roll from Mollie.

From: Tyson

Hi back from me!

I miss them too

I miss you the most

Mollie’s eyes widened slightly, a light flush warming her cheeks. What? Why was she reacting like this? Tyson said that all the time. Kind of. No, stop it. Mollie swallowed heavily, keeping her eyes down to avoid a reaction from their friends.

From: Mollie

I miss you too

With that, Mollie shoved her phone back into her pocket, just in time for Bryony to arrive with a fresh round of beers, which Mollie was more than grateful for. What was that all about?

~

“I am so ready for a drink.”

“Make it two,” Mollie mused, grinning at Allison’s words.

“Make it three,” Chase laughed, “I can’t wait to cool off in the lake, it’s too damn hot today.”

That was an understatement. The temperature was sweltering and even just thinking about jumping into the cold water was almost too much to bear. Mollie been waiting all week for this Friday evening – while the four of them who were teachers had been up at the lake during the week every day since their schools finished for the summer a week ago, Allison and Chase had weekday 9-5s, so Mollie had volunteered to drive back into town to bring them out for the weekend, finally bringing their big friendship group together in their rented cabin for the summer. Of course Mollie had visited her family (with her brother John and his wife Michelle reminding her they wouldn’t be up at the lake until next week) to fill the time while she waited for Allison and Chase to be ready, as well as stocking up on supplies, but now Mollie was more than ready to kick back and relax.

After she’d been in the water, of course.

Thankfully Mollie had put a bikini on underneath her clothes, just a simple little red thing, before picking up her friends today, so as soon as she’d parked outside their cabin, brought the cooler of drinks and snacks into the kitchen, and dumped her duffel bag by the stairs, she stripped off her clothes as she walked towards the tempting water. Bryony wolf-whistled as Mollie walked past the three who were already there, and Mollie just flipped them all off with a grin, kicking off her shoes quickly before taking off in a run down the dock and diving into the water.

Bliss.

Allison and Chase, both having stripped down to their swimsuits too, wasted no time in joining Mollie in the water, and all Mollie could do was smile as she resurfaced. This was summer. All of them together in glorious weather at the most beautiful place in Kelowna. What more could she ever want?

“LOOK WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN!”

Mollie turned her head at Michael’s hollering, grinning at the sight of the familiar figure walked over from the neighbouring cabin. Tyson. Mollie eagerly hauled herself back up onto the dock, slipping back into her shoes and picking up a towel from the stack at the beginning of the dock to dry herself off with as she walked back to the cabins, waving hello as she got closer.

“There you are.”

Mollie just grinned and threw her arms around Tyson’s neck, him just laughing as he picked her up, swinging her round in a circle, not seeming to care that she was getting him wet.

“You’d think you were happy to see me or something,” Tyson teased, setting her back on her feet.

“Oh hush, you know I am,” Mollie sighed happily, running the towel over her wet hair, “Are you happy to be back here?”

“You know it,” he nodded, smiling sweetly at her, “even more so knowing that I’m nowhere near Buffalo and that you’re here.”

Well Mollie would never say no to a bit of Tyson charm.

“Flattery gets you everywhere, Mr Jost,” she mused, trying to calm her racing heart.

It wasn’t fair that nothing about him had changed at all and yet somehow his pretty curls and pretty face were even more handsome since she’d last seen him. So unfair.

“HEY LOVEBIRDS!”

A shout from Bryony broke Mollie out of her thoughts, and she saw Tyson blush fiercely as they both looked at the group by the chairs to see them all smirking at the two of them. And to think it was usually Allison who was the troublemaker. Mollie just flipped them all double birds, earning laughter.

“We’d better go before people start talking eh?” she laughed, trying to hide her blush.

“Let them talk,” Tyson grinned, but starting walking over to the ring of chairs anyway.

It wasn’t fair that her stomach filled with butterflies at the simple sight of his smile.

As Louis handed Mollie a cold white claw, Tyson already having one in hand, she took the empty seat at Tyson’s side. By the time that Allison and Chase hauled themselves out the water to join the group, they were all well on their way to catching up.

They talked about Bryony and Louis still being together, their relationship going on 5 years strong. They talked about Allison losing another job, her uncle having taken pity on her and letting her do his administration for the summer cabins he owned. They talked about the school year, how parents and kids were a stressful nightmare most days now. They talked about Tyson’s season, sort of, Tyson just saying that he was happy to be back up from the AHL. They talked about Tyson’s sister Kacey, how she was kicking ass and taking names. They talked about Chase’s hard-earned promotion at work, finally getting the recognition he deserved. They talked about all the plans they had for the next two months here at the lake and the more they talked and drank and laughed, Mollie just sank back in her chair, taking everything in, soaking everything up.

This really was heaven.

Tyson noticed her relax back in her chair and just smiled at her, earning a genuine smile back. Yeah this was going to be a summer to remember, she could feel it.

~

Another couple of days passed at the lake cabin, Chase and Allison heading back into town while Tyson stayed at his place, and Mollie couldn’t be happier. Happy enough to make breakfast pancakes and bacon for Bryony, Louis and Michael after she showered following her early run around the lake, leaving it all in the oven for them with a note while she cleared up. Breakfast she could handle – it was the little things. She knew her friends would appreciate it anyway.

As she was taking out the trash though, she spotted Tyson doing exactly the same from his cabin, and waved enthusiastically at him, grinning as he laughed. He was clearly still adjusting to waking up early, same as she was – he still looked a little bleary eyed as they walked towards the end of their driveways.

“Good morning Tys!” she said cheerfully.

“Morning!” he mused.

She jogged over to him, Tyson catching her in a hug as she reached his side, making her laugh and squeeze him back tightly. Mornings like this were exactly what she had missed while he was away. As she pulled away though, her phone buzzed with a series of texts, and she pulled out her phone only to frown at the sender. Her ex. Ew. He really wasn’t getting the hint.

“Who’s making your face do that?”

Mollie cursed under her breath and tucked her phone away with.

“It’s no-one,” she said simply, willing him to let it go.

“No-one doesn’t make you grimace like that,” Tyson pointed out, “And it doesn’t make you hide it from me. So who is it?”

She really couldn’t pretend around him, could she? And it wasn’t like he hadn’t heard about her terrible ex boyfriends before.

“It’s my ex. Justin. It’s been six months since I caught him texting other girls with all the things he wanted to do to them, and while I don’t know if he physically cheated, I still kicked him to the curb the moment I found out. Every now and again he blows up my phone, even though I never answer him,” Mollie explained, “His mom even knows and yells at him for bugging me. He’ll get bored soon enough.”

Yeah, this latest ex wasn’t exactly one of her finest choices.

The deep frown that shifted onto Tyson’ face was an interesting reaction though.

“If he doesn’t leave you alone, tell me. I still know enough people in this town, and I can hunt him down and punch him if he doesn’t back off.”

A rush of heat went through her veins at his words, a flush spreading across her cheeks.

There was a flashback in her mind to when they were 15, when Tyson found out that her first boyfriend Todd kissed Jenny Prince behind her back, and sucker-punched him at school in her honour. It was a beautiful memory. And to know that he’d still defend her like that?

“You always were my knight in shining armour,” Mollie teased.

But Tyson just shrugged. “You know I’ve got your back no matter what. That’s what best friends are for.”

Such a sweetheart.

Something about his tone though, how seriously he’d taken her words, made Mollie keep her eye on Tyson throughout the day, and by the time that late afternoon rolled around when their barbecue was in full swing, she finally cornered him again. There was just something in his eyes that looked…tense. It wasn’t the Tyson she knew and it worried her that even in the most relaxing place in Kelowna, he still looked so stressed.

“Hey, Tys, fresh beer?”

Tyson smiled his thanks, taking it with a nod. There was no one else standing too closely so she didn’t feel bad for confronting him like this, not at all.

“So are you going to tell me what’s going on with you?” she said softly.

Tyson’s eyes widened a little, before he huffed out a laugh.

“There’s no point hiding anything with you, is there?”

Just like her with him. But Mollie winced. “If there’s something you don’t actually want to talk about, then I’m not going to push. That’s the last thing I want.”

Tyson just nodded, taking a sip of his beer, as if to steel himself. Clearly this was more than passing worry. What was going on?

“Every summer I’ve ever had has been the same. Arrive back to Kelowna, get sympathy and pitying smiles for how shitty the season was, hanging about by the lake, train, start hockey again. I’m tired of it,” Tyson groaned.

“Tired of it?” she asked, confused, trying to understand what he meant.

Surely he didn’t mean he was tired of hockey? She knew how much the sport meant to him.

“I’m tired, Mollie. I feel like I’m stuck, doing the same thing over and over with the same nothing at the end. I need to do something new or I feel like I’m going to go crazy,” Tyson sighed.

Okay, okay that she could manage.

“It must be so frustrating, pouring your whole heart into the sport you love, and not getting the reward you deserve. And the fact that you still feel like this in the off season? That’s not good, Tys,” Mollie murmured, “What can I do to help?”

He sent her a sad smile.

“I’m not sure, really. If I don’t know what I can do, I don’t know what anyone else can do,” he said softly, “But being here with you right now, talking with you like this, I appreciate it. I don’t exactly trust many people with my full thoughts like this.”

That both saddened her and made her heart soar. The fact that he didn’t really have anyone else he could really talk to was devastating…but the fact that he trusted her enough? That was everything.

“Then we can talk and vent and rant and scream as much as you need. And we’ll build your happiness back up, just like you deserve. I’m here for you, Tyson,” she said firmly.

“Yeah?”

That smile would be the end of her, she just knew it.

“Yeah, I mean it,” she nodded, helpless to do anything but smile back.

“Wanna help me make this the best summer ever?” he grinned.

“You do know that sounds like the start of a coming of age film, right?” Mollie teased.

Tyson nudged her with his shoulder, earning a nudge back.

“Is that a yes?” he asked, hope filling his voice.

“Obviously,” she grinned.

How could she say no to him?

But as she looked into his eyes, there was something in his gaze that made her breath hitch in her chest, her grin sliding from her face. Tyson seemed to be caught in the moment too as his own face drifted into neutral, his eyes locked on hers in return. She didn’t realise how close they had shifted until her fingers brushed against his arm, Tyson’s eyes darting down to where they were touching before he looked back up at her. Her heart was pounding, ears full of a rushing sound, her thoughts filled with nothing but the dazed look on Tyson’s face.

It was when his gaze flicked down to her lips that she jolted out of her reverie, just in time for a couple of shrieks and splashes came from the end of the dock.

Fuck. Fuck.

What was that? What the hell was that?

“Mollie…” Tyson murmured, fingers brushing against hers finally.

“I’m going to get some more food,” she said quickly, stepping backwards.

It took all her strength to turn away from the confused hurt expression on Tyson’s face, and walk over to join Bryony and Louis at the barbecue, plastering a smile on her face as her head whirled, desperately trying not to panic. Tyson had almost kissed her. She had almost kissed Tyson. Tyson wanted to kiss her. She wanted to kiss Tyson. Did she want to kiss Tyson?

Of course she wanted to.

But since when did she give into fleeting desires around him? And since when did he ever look at her like that? No, she couldn’t deal with this. She wouldn’t, not tonight. Maybe not ever. What the hell, Tyson?

~

Tyson and Mollie didn’t talk about the moment they shared at all. The first two weeks of their two month summer, almost a full week since that fateful night, passed quickly and the longer they went not mentioning it, Mollie found herself burying the topic completely. From Wednesday morning to Friday midday, Mollie, Tyson, Bryony, Louis and Chase all quickly fell into a routine that she knew would carry on for the rest of the summer. Mollie did her usual run along the lake front each morning, with Bryony and Tyson joining her for a yoga session today, the Friday morning. She spent each day cycling through swimming, sunbathing, and reading, all of the group taking it in turns to cook dinner while sorting out their own lunches. She kayaked with Chase and Tyson for a couple of hours before lunch on Thursday, the three of them paddling in a comfortable silence most the way, taking pictures to make their friends jealous of the beautiful views.

And now Bryony and Louis were back from their grocery run for the barbecue tonight, to celebrate Mollie’s brother John and his wife Michelle coming up for the weekend, as well as Tyson’s friends Mat and Dante arriving ahead of their own week’s stay. They’d all met Mat and Dante before, the two of them joining Tyson for a few summer’s now (and Dante joining on his own the year before that started) so Mollie was well prepared for the chaos those two always seemed to bring. At least in comparison to the peace and calm that Tyson’s friend JT brought when he visited (which he would be doing for two weeks after Dante and Mat left).

It was going to be an interesting stretch of time, that was for sure.

After Tyson had gotten his friends settled in, they immediately joined Mollie’s group to chill on the clearing by the dock, relaxing for a few hours before they needed to start prepping for the barbecue tonight. Chase and Allison wouldn’t be joining them until later, and neither would John and Michelle, but that didn’t mean that they couldn’t have fun before then.

“We’ve got snacks and fresh fruit and cold beers, help yourselves,” Michael grinned, waving towards the coolers on the back decking of their cabin.

Mat, Dante, and Tyson saluted, making them all laugh, Tyson carrying over their own crate of beers to add to the coolers too. Mollie just stayed silent, offering Tyson a small smile, to which he sent a hesitant one back. Great. He was still going to be awkward around his friends too. With a quiet sigh, quiet enough that no-one else heard it, she laid back down on her deckchair, eager to let the sun wash away the underlying tension she was desperate to ignore.

Maybe with his friends here, Tyson would get over the awkwardness and they could return to normal. At least, she hoped they could. She didn’t know what she would do if they didn’t.

~

“So, Mollie looks good, huh?”

“Don’t even think about it Barzy,” Tyson scowled.

Dante and Mat looked at each other only briefly before bursting into laughter.

“We know she’s yours, Josty. Chill,” Dante snickered.

“She’s not mine,” Tyson shot back, narrowing his eyes.

His friends just laughed harder.

“Yeah okay, and you totally weren’t distracted when she was sunbathing in that tiny pink bikini this afternoon, right,” Mat teased.

“I swear, I will throw you in the lake.”

~

The weekend was…odd, to say the least. Mollie didn’t spend nearly as much time with Tyson as she normally did, mostly because he looked like he didn’t know what to say to her and she didn’t have a clue what to say to him. She got away with it though, having her brother and sister-in-law up at the cabin, and Tyson having his friends to distract him. She had to get over this weirdness. She needed to.

On the Sunday evening, when her brother John and Michelle drove back into town, she followed them back, staying at her apartment for a night ahead of a family dinner their mom had insisted on for the Monday night. It wasn’t a hardship to take a little break from the cabin, using the time to pamper herself with a long bath and a face mask, giving herself the time to refresh. And Monday she spent giving her apartment a giant deep clean, driving all thoughts from her mind until she only had enough time to shower and change before heading over to her parents house.

“Mollie! Baby! Are you eating enough?”

Mollie just rolled her eyes fondly at her mom’s greeting.

“Nice to see you too mom. I brought wine,” she mused, stepping into her childhood home.

“Ooh, I do love a good cabernet, thank you darling. John and Michelle are already here – they’re with your dad in the den,” her mom said cheerfully, “I’m just finishing up in here!”

“I’ll help you, mom. It’s been a while.”

Mollie’s mom just beamed at her, kissing her cheek before wandering back into the kitchen. She followed with a smile on her face, heart bursting with the love that only a mom could cause, her mom especially. Mollie put on the apron that her mom passed her, the two of them chopping vegetables for the salad in a comfortable silence, Mollie just enjoying her mom dancing along to the radio while they worked. True to her word, they didn’t take long to finish preparing everything, and in no time at all, her mom was calling everyone to the table for dinner.

Incredible chicken pot pie, with creamy mash, a variety of greens, and homemade gravy, with a fruit cobbler for dessert. This was exactly what she needed.

What she didn’t need was her brother opening his mouth the moment that they finished eating.

“So mom, has Mollie told you about Tyson yet?”

What the hell?

“No? Is everything okay?” her mom asked, voice full of concern as she turned to look at Mollie.

She kicked her brother under the table but he just smiled sweetly at her. Her older brother was such a child.

“He’s fine mom. A little stressed after the season, but fine,” Mollie said, as calmly as she could.

“I was talking about all the flirting actually,” John said innocently.

“Shut up, John! There hasn’t been any flirting!” she hissed.

He was a dead man. Michelle could move on happily.

“Flirting?” her dad frowned.

“Flirting?!” her mom cried happily.

For fuck’s sake. She needed to nip this in the bud before her mom pulled out her scrapbooks.

“There is no flirting. John is delusional, maybe a touch of heat stroke. You really check that out for him, Michelle,” Mollie said firmly, her sister-in-law just sending her a pitying smile, “Tyson and I don’t flirt with each other.”

“It’s been different this year and you know it,” John shot back.

Michelle elbowed him, but other than a grunt he didn’t react at all, his smirk staying put.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. He’s one of my best friends and you know it,” Mollie scowled.

“Me thinks the lady doth protest too much,” John sing-songed.

“Oh you assho-”

“That’s enough,” their mom interrupted, gaze firm. Mollie snapped her mouth shut, John doing the same. “Johnathan Neil Thomas, cut it out. If Mollie says they’re still just friends, then that’s that.”

Mollie smiled triumphantly, earning an eye roll from her brother.

“And Mollie Eliza Thomas, if there ever is a change between you and Tyson then you know you can be open with us.”

Ugh.

“Mom!” Mollie hissed.

John just threw his head back and cackled, not even flinching at the elbow from his wife this time. How was he 27 years old?

“Alright, alright, I’m stopping,” their mom grinned, “and so is John.”

Seriously. It was bad enough that her head was messed up from whatever the hell had happened at the lake the other day, whatever the hell had been happening since Tyson came back this summer, but she didn’t need her family adding to it too.

“Cheer up buttercup. Whatever happens, happens,” her dad shrugged, smiling.

Mollie didn’t know if that made things better or worse. Sure, John could be doing the opposite, getting defensive and shutting down a ‘potential’ relationship between her and Tyson (not that there was anything) but this wasn’t helping.

“I’m disowning you all,” Mollie grumbled, “not you Michelle. As always, you’re an angel.”

Her brother’s wife just beamed. “If John doesn’t want to sleep on the sofa tonight, he’ll stop.”

What an angel she was indeed.

Her dad tactfully changed the topic to his upcoming fly fishing trip, finally giving Mollie some peace, but she was lost in her head from there on out, Michelle just filling up her wine glass in solidarity. By the time John and Michelle went home, Mollie had drunk a couple of glasses too many to safely drive home, so she crashed in her childhood bedroom, her mom thrilled that she got to fuss over her for another day.

Her dad promised to make her a hearty breakfast.

While she got ready for bed, doing her usual skincare routine after she changed, Mollie finally let herself embrace her thoughts. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, John’s teasing had gotten under her skin.

It’s been different this year and you know it.

Because it had been different this year. This summer had been full of all of this tension that hadn’t been there before that she didn’t know what to do with. This was her and Tyson. If she couldn’t figure out what it all meant to her, then where did that leave them?

Oh.

Oh.

Oh no.

John was right. He’d been right all along. It was different this year. Everything with Tyson had felt different this year, the flirty teasing, the innocent touches, the way her heart had skipped at his smile. But why? What had changed?

And what could she do about it?

Tyson had never said anything to her about being more than friends in all of their years of knowing each other, not even as a joke in passing. There’d never been a moment like that almost moment before the barbecue the other day. There’d never been anything that had flared Mollie’s feelings into a tailspin like this, but now? Now she didn’t know what to think.

Breathe. Take a moment.

Mollie inhaled shakily, running her trembling hands through her chestnut hair. It was like a dam had burst, her emotions rushing over like a tidal wave, her heart racing and her breathing getting ragged. This had changed everything. How could she not think about Tyson differently now that the floodgates had opened? How could she ignore that he was her everything now that she’d admitted it to herself? What the hell was she supposed to do now?

“Mollie? Is everything alright?”

Mollie snapped out of her thoughts at the sound of her mom’s voice through the door, clearly having seen her light was still on. Damn it. Damn it damn it damn it.

“Yeah mom, just doing some yoga!” Mollie called back, hoping that the lie wasn’t too obvious, that her voice wasn’t too shaky.

“Alright sweetheart, get some rest! I’ll see you in the morning,”

Mollie just squeezed her eyes shut tightly, balling her fists at her sides as she curled up under her duvet. This wasn’t fair. All these years she’d maintained an amazing friendship with Tyson, a constant steadiness that she cherished, but now…could it really stay the same? Could she stay the same, knowing her feelings were actually real, when he didn’t feel the same? Could she pretend to be normal?

Could they even stay friends?

~

At the lake, unbeknown to Mollie, Tyson was going through his own emotional turmoil, sitting with Dante and Mat in the living area of his cabin.

“What’s going on with you and Mollie?”

“It feels different this year,” was all Tyson could offer to Dante’s question.

“Different…how?” Dante frowned.

Tyson sighed, running a hand over his face, missing the look that his friends exchanged.

“Tys, seriously. You and Mollie have always been so close, and yeah we tease you about it…but has something happened?” Mat said softly.

“I don’t know. There have been some moments. Like, emotionally-charged moments. That first weekend when we first saw each other again, she was wearing this tiny red bikini and she just looked so carefree and beautiful and so goddamn hot that it completely blew past all my defences. I couldn’t help but flirting and she flirted back. Talking to her felt like my heart was clenching and there was something in her eyes that said it wasn’t just me. And the other day at the barbecue, I just…I don’t know. We almost kissed and then she basically ran away,” Tyson said miserably.

Mat laughed softly, making Tyson whine in protest.

“This isn’t funny!”

“Oh it’s kinda funny. Why is it that everyone can see the connection between you two other than you?” Mat mused.

“We’re just friends. That’s all she wants, clearly,” Tyson sighed.

“That’s all she wants? Are you saying that you want more?” Dante asked, grinning.

Tyson just whined again at his friend’s excitement, dropping his head to rest in his hands. He couldn’t deny it, not any more. Not now that things felt so different, so…new. How could he?

“So you’re admitting that you like her. Finally. Are you sure that friendship is all Mollie wants? Have you even said anything?” Mat asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Why would I say anything?!” Tyson yelped, lifting his head up again.

Was Mat crazy?

Both Mat and Dante rolled their eyes. “You literally said that it wasn’t just you that had that emotionally charged moment,” Mat pointed out.

“I know but…”

“If there’s another moment like that, why don’t you just take a chance?” Dante interrupted, before Tyson could spiral into a panic, “if things are stressing you out this much, then maybe she’s feeling the same.”

Tyson bit his bottom lip, contemplating his friend’s words. Could he really do that?

Mat sighed, seeing Tyson’s hesitation. “Look, bud, you never know until you try. The friendship that you and Mollie have is so solid – even if things don’t happen between you two, nothing will change that.”

“I guess you’re right. She wouldn’t be weird about it, even if it is just me with feelings,” Tyson murmured.

Mat frowned, opening his mouth to argue, but Dante just elbowed him in the ribs, making him grunt.

“I don’t think it is just you, but yeah, you really should act on this, before you get too in your head about things. I know it’s scary and I know that you’ve got to take a risk, but I honestly think it’s going to pay off. It’s Mollie, Tys. How can things not?” Dante said warmly.

Mat nodded enthusiastically, making Tyson laugh softly.

“You really think I could take a chance?”

“Absolutely. You’re Tyson fucking Jost – you’ve got this!” Dante grinned.

Tyson smiled weakly, trying to put on a brave face. He wasn’t convinced, not with how much was on the line. Mollie was too important for him to lose. But maybe, just maybe, he could gain even more?

~

The week went on with Mollie no closer to an answer to what her next steps should be. At least Tyson was a little more relaxed around her, offering her genuine smiles rather than the awkward ones he’d been giving her since their almost moment. On Mat and Dante’s penultimate day, Allison arranged for a four jet skis to be sent up to the lake as a surprise, and they all took turns in racing each other on them, no-one getting too drunk to make sure they stayed safe.

After a few races on the jet ski, Mollie took a break, letting Louis take over to race Bryony, Mat and Dante, while Michael cheered them on and took photos. She could see her phone lighting up with jealous messages from Allison and Chase – FOMO was a bitch – so she could already predict that Allison would be extending their rental until after the full weekend had passed so she could have a go herself.

Mollie headed back out of the cabin with a book, a bottle of water, and some sunscreen, ready to relax for a little while now that she’d pulled some shorts back on, only to see Tyson already sitting where she had been planning to sit. Maybe it was fate. Maybe this was the time they needed, apart from the others. Maybe this was a sign.

Then again, Tyson had been fairly quiet today so far, letting Mat and Dante take the reins in conversation.

“Hey Tys. Mind if I join you?”

He jolted, looking up at her like she’d surprised him, making her frown slightly.

“Oh, uh, yeah. Sure.”

Okay, not quite the reaction she’d been expecting. Even for him, this was weird. Still, she sat down in the chair next to him, reapplying her sunscreen before opening up her book. But the way that Tyson was sitting silently next to her, just staring out at the lake, was unsettling.

“Is everything okay?” she murmured, putting her bookmark in her book.

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

His answer was so short, almost distant, unlike any way he’d ever spoken to her, and it hurt a little to hear that tone in his voice. Maybe she was just missing something, but him brushing her off like that on top of all of her emotional turmoil lately was just enough to make tears spring to her eyes.

It was all she could do to swallow heavily to keep her composure, and she stood up, dropping her book on her chair.

“Where are you going?” Tyson frowned.

“I don’t know. Just need to clear my head, I guess,” Mollie shrugged, attempting to keep her voice light.

“Can I come with you?” Tyson blurted.

That would be the opposite of helpful right now. But when he looked at her so hopefully, how could she say no? Maybe he’d actually open up, and his attitude was all a big misunderstanding? She could only hope. She couldn’t take him pulling away from her, if that’s what this was.

No, she had to have hope.

With a quick glance over her shoulder to check that their friends were all occupied, Mollie started to walk in the opposite direction down the lake front, knowing that Tyson would be following her. She wandered, a little aimlessly, trying to clear her head as she’d said to him, but nothing helped knowing that it was his footsteps following her.

Eventually she slowed to a stop at a little cove, ducking into it to get out of the harsh light of the sun, and Tyson stopped next to her, offering her a small smile. She had to return it – this was the place they’d dubbed ‘their spot’ after all. Back in Tyson’s first summer, she’d found him here after a difficult training session, full of frustration and homesickness, and it had been one of the things that bonded them so quickly. She’d never told anyone about this place, that it was hers and Tyson’s. Mollie hadn’t intended to come here, but clearly her subconscious had other plans.

Tyson took a step towards her, slipping slightly on a rock, and Mollie’s hands darted out to stead him, Tyson clinging to her forearms as he regained his balance. It was only when she laughed and looked back up at him that she realised they were standing so close that she could count his eyelashes, and she froze.

No, no she couldn’t do this. She needed less drama, less intensity, less…

“Mollie,” Tyson murmured, voice breathy.

“Tys, I…I can’t,” she choked.

Her head was swirling as she jerked out of his grip, trying not to slip herself as she stepped past him, but Tyson grabbed her hand to stop her leaving.

“Mollie, please don’t go! Just listen to me!” Tyson begged.

The desperation in his voice made her stop in her tracks. She closed her eyes, keeping her back to him as she tried to control her racing heartbeat, jumping slightly as his hand move to touch her shoulder. Against her better judgement, with a gentle squeeze of his hand, she turned back around to face him, biting her lip at the devastation in his face.

“Tys,” she whispered, a little helplessly.

He’d never looked at her like that before, like she had the power to destroy him completely. She wasn’t sure if she liked it.

“Mollie, sweetheart…”

Sweetheart. He trailed off at her whimper, running a shaky hand through his unruly curls before he looked into her eyes with such determination that butterflies erupted in her stomach.

“You’ve got to know how much I like you, Mollie. Seriously. You’re one of the only people I keep in touch with from home, one of the only true friends I can count on, and you know how much our friendship means to me. But you’ve got to know how our friendship has evolved. It’s…more now, right? You feel it too?”

Mollie’s breath caught in her throat. He…what?

How much I like you.

How much our friendship means to me.

Our friendship has evolved.

You feel it too?

“Please. Say something,” Tyson begged.

How could she deny him that? After everything she started admitting to herself? She closed her eyes, swallowing heavily, only opening them when her heart cracked open a little. If he could be honest, as much of a dream as it felt, then so could she.

“I do feel it, Tys. I just…I didn’t let myself hope that you felt the same,” she whispered.

There it was. She’d finally said the words out loud. Tyson let out a wounded noise, low and sad, but Mollie didn’t say anything. What else could she say without losing all composure?

“I’ve liked you for so long, Molls. I just never let myself act on it because I didn’t think you felt the same. But now…”

Tyson trailed off again into nothing, letting out a whoosh of breath. The hope and wonder in his voice sent a thrill through Mollie’s body, her heart beating a little bit faster. Tyson liked her. He really liked her! And she’d told him how she felt about him too? She’d never thought this moment would actually happen. Definitely not since her emotional realisation a few evenings ago. But now that it was? It felt mindblowing. Was this really happening?

But there was still that niggle of doubt she couldn’t deny. So Mollie gathered her thoughts while Tyson stayed silent, hoping they wouldn’t bite her in the ass.

“I can’t do this if it’s just for the summer,” Mollie blurted, “I can’t be only a fling for you, Tyson. I wouldn’t be able to cope with that. Not with you.”

Tyson quickly shook his head, reaching out to clasp both of her hands in his, making her gasp softly at the warmth in his grip.

“You could never be a fling. This is the real deal between us, Mollie. I know it is. You know it is,” Tyson said firmly.

Mollie just nodded, choking out a laugh, unable to stop the tears welling up in her eyes as she smiled at him, earning a hopeful smile back. He was right. Deep down, no matter how her insecurities whispered, she knew that their friendship meant a solid foundation. It wasn’t a temporary wavering summer-fun. It was…everything.

“So what are you saying?” Mollie murmured, trying to blink away the tears.

Was this really happening?

“Will you be my girl?” Tyson asked, his voice full of hope.

Mollie choked a laugh, her voice thick with the tears that wouldn’t leave. “Yeah, Tys. I’ll be your girl,”

Tyson let out a whoop, throwing his head back, making Mollie laugh again. What a ridiculous guy. She liked him so much. He rested his forehead against hers, one hand rising to cup her cheek, making her inhale sharply as his eyes went more serious.

“Can I kiss you now? Finally?”

Mollie tilted her head up to press her lips to his in answer.

~

Being with Tyson was easy, easier than Mollie could’ve ever imagined. Somehow that transition from friends to boyfriend and girlfriend was seamless, with not even a little awkwardness like she’d feared there would’ve been. She attributed that to Tyson mainly though – he was such a driving force of happiness, and now that she’d allowed herself to feel all those thoughts she’d subconsciously pushed down before, it was like everything had clicked into place. It was almost like it was fate.

Fate that she was seizing with both hands and never letting go.

The moment that they’d returned to the cabins from the cove, Dante had taken one look at them and demanded Mat to ‘pay up’. Bryony had immediately pulled out her phone, typing away furiously, until she groaned and admitted that Allison had won their pool. Tyson had just laughed when he realised that everyone had been betting on the two of them, Mollie hiding her face in his chest with a groan. Somehow she wasn’t surprised – it was their friends after all – but that didn’t make her feel any better in the moment.

Nor did John’s smug texts – Michelle’s happy ones soothed that a little. She wasn’t surprised either when Tyson came to her after the weekend and admitted that John had given him a shovel talk in private, one that he refused to share the details of (so she knew it had to be violent), but when she’d texted John to berate him, all her brother said was that he approved and that Tyson was a good guy.

That much she knew already, thank you very much.

The rest of their summer raced by. After Mat and Dante left, JT stayed for two weeks, just as thrilled for them as Tyson’s other friends had been (especially since he won the bet he had with Alex Kerfoot about them). After JT left, Kacey and Tyson’s mom came up to stay for a week, and their genuine heartfelt welcome to the family talks left Mollie more emotional than ever, Tyson just smiling with watery eyes (that he later denied).

And obviously her parents were thrilled, Tyson being dragged down to a couple of family dinner over the remaining six weeks of summer, in between his intense workouts, getting him ready for the upcoming season.

But those six weeks flew by faster than Mollie anticipated, the end of summer drawing closer, and Tyson only had few weeks before he needed to get back to Buffalo for training camp. His time at his cabin had come to an end, as had Mollie’s, so he’d come to stay at her apartment with her while he figured out what he wanted to for his remaining time.

The more time Mollie could spend with him, the better, so she wasn’t going to complain. Especially if it meant waking up in Tyson's arms in the mornings. Even if it meant Tyson watching her with adoring expressions as she shuffled through old lesson plans to see which she could spruce up ahead of the upcoming school year.

A few days into them living in her apartment together though, Tyson made breakfast for them both and sat down opposite her with a serious expression on his face, making her a little nervous. They ate mostly in silence, the radio playing in the background, and it wasn’t until he’d put their plates in the sink that Tyson was ready to talk.

“Everything’s been so good between us, right?” he blurted.

The nervous expression on his face made her heart twinge, and not in a fun way.

“It has for me?” she offered, wincing.

“It has for me too, I promise,” he said quickly, taking the edge off her anxiety, “I just…I’ve been thinking a lot. About our future. Where we could end up. Where I want our relationship to end up.”

She tried valiantly to ignore how her heart started beating a little faster.

“What have you been thinking?” she prompted, hoping her voice didn’t sound too shaky.

“I don’t know where I’m going to end up with hockey in the future. The Avs didn’t want me, it didn’t work out with the Wild, and who knows where I’ll be after this coming year with the Sabres after all the up and down this past season. I don’t know where I’ll be playing or what city I’ll be in, but…will you come with me?”

Mollie’s jaw dropped slightly, her breath catching in her throat. He wanted her to go with him? To leave Kelowna? Tyson saw her shock and immediately reached across the island counter to take both of her hands in his, desperate to ground her as he knew she needed.

“I know this is fast, or at least it would be by normal relationship standards, but with how long we’ve known each other and with how right this feels…I just can’t bear the thought of another 9 months without you. Especially not in Buffalo,” Tyson said, his eyes wide and honest.

Go with Tyson? Uproot everything she’d ever known, move away from all her friends, her job, her life?

“Tyson, I…”

She trailed off, biting her lip, unsure of how to continue as her thoughts swirled. But as soon as she did, she noticed how Tyson’s shoulders slumped slightly, his grip on her hands going limp.

“No, you’re right. It’s too soon, isn’t it? I couldn’t ask you to give up your whole life, just like that, that's not fair on you,” Tyson sighed, finally dropping her hands.

Her breath caught in her throat at the defeat in his eyes. That, more than anything else, she hated. How he second guessed himself? His lack of self confidence? That devastation, it just wasn’t right. So Mollie shook her head, taking his hands back in hers.

“Tys, I need a moment to process, yeah?”

He nodded, a glimmer of hope entering his eyes again, making her smile slightly. Mollie huffed out a breath, running her thumbs over his knuckles, as she tried to process his words. Moving with Tyson – moving in with Tyson fully – would change everything. It would be the biggest step she’d ever taken with a relationship, but with Tyson it would be…

“Tell me what’s going through your mind,” Tyson begged, interrupting her flow.

“You just can’t stand the silence huh,” she teased, unable to resist.

“You know I can’t,” he laughed.

But the laugh was strained, making her sigh. Time to be honest.

“I guess…the main thing going through my mind is that this is such a big step,” she admitted.

“Yeah it is. But it’s also exciting? And I wouldn’t have asked you if I wasn’t sure it would work,” Tyson said honestly.

She couldn’t help but blush slightly. The fact that he was so certain about their relationship was refreshing. And she knew that Tyson always put his whole heart into everything, which was exciting - no-one else had ever had this conviction.

“What about my job? My friends? My family? And a visa? I’ve never even left BC, you know I haven’t,” Mollie prompted, going through all her doubts.

Tyson tilted his head back slightly, averting his eyes as he chewed his lip, clearly deep in thought. She couldn’t help but smile – he really was putting so much effort into this.

“I know you love teaching, even though the school you’re at right now has terrible parents…but I know you’d also smash any teaching job in any place, so I think that part is solvable? Family and friends though…that’s the big sacrifice. And I know, because it sucks leaving mine at the end of every summer. It’s sucked leaving you at the end of every summer, even though we were only ever just friends before. I don’t want to leave you again, but I understand if only seeing everyone else a few times a year outside of summer is a deal breaker,” Tyson sighed, “The visa thing I can work out with my agent, so that shouldn’t be an issue. And I know that you haven’t ever left BC – but there’s so much of the world I want to show you, even if that starts with Buffalo.”

Mollie huffed out a breath at his words, knowing he was speaking from the heart. But what should she do? Tyson watched the frustration play out across her face and smiled sadly, squeezing her hands in comfort.

“Hey, whatever you decide, just know that it won’t change how much I love you, yeah?” he said softly.

He loves her? Of all the times to drop that declaration, so simple and sweet. How could her heart not sing at that?

“My god, Tys, I love you too. So much. And you’re right, it would suck to watch you leave again because everything is so different this year. I finally have you and to lose you?”

Mollie frowned, shaking her head as she cut herself off. How could she let him go?

Tyson saw the change in her expression, a wide smile spreading across his lips. “So…?” he asked hopefully.

She laughed at his prompting, and squeezed his hands back.

“Yeah, Tyson, I’m willing to try this, to try us,” Mollie nodded, smiling, “I’ll move with you, to Buffalo, and then wherever you go after that.”

Tyson whooped and stood up from his chair, making her laugh again as he ran around to her side of the island, which quickly turned into a squeal as he threw his arms around her and picked her up to spin her in a circle. The joy in his face was just pure happiness, and Mollie knew right then that she’d made the right decision.

“I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us,” Tyson grinned, resting his forehead against hers.

There was so much to think about, with moving, with getting a visa, with her job, with her apartment in Kelowna. But a future with Tyson? That was all Mollie wanted - and she couldn’t wait to see what the future held for them either.

#my writing #tyson jost fic #summer days pass me by #tyson jost imagine #tyson jost fanfic #tyson jost x oc #nhl fic #nhl imagine #hockey fic #hockey imagine

[sundaysunny]

Holy Mary

pairings: jeno x reader

genre: romance, summer romance, churchboy!jeno (kind of), pining, fluff, angst

tw: sexual content, mentions of depression, religious trauma

word count: 13.5k

synopsis: you spend every summer at your grandparents lake side home in France. Most of the time you spend in the lake, painting or reading. The village is slow and life feels very relaxed. When a new priest turns up at the local church, your grandmother manages to convince you to attend a service which ends in you becoming infatuated with one of the priests sons, Lee Jeno. Jeno is a reserved man, he likes calm and quiet. His past trauma has effected his ability to maintain friendships and relationships. But when he meets you, he feels at home.

authors notes: this was inspired by Mary on a cross by Ghost! i also like to project my daddy issues and religious trauma onto people so enjoy! also! the south of france *chefs kiss* beautiful place, i want to go back so badly! and i recently learnt that catholic priests can remain married if they’re married before becoming ordained so that’s cool ig, it kinda inspired this story a little bit. ALSO! i would just like to clarify that this is just a story and i don’t share any of the opinions of the characters in the story. nor do i think jeno has any of these opinions. ITS JUST A STORY <3 also i can’t write smut to save my life but here u go

THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION.

Most of your summers were spent by the lakes, at your grandparents lake house in France. The effervescent water sparkled under the sun, little ripples forming when the wind gently blew. The lakes had always fascinated you. You weren’t sure if it was the calmness being near water brought you or the memories of splashing around in them when you were a child, but you always felt very close to them.

You spent most of your summers painting too, mostly by the lake. Your grandmother tried to encourage you to sell your paintings, claiming that they ‘conveyed so much passion and emotion.’ You didn’t agree, you just wanted to paint. Today was no different, you sat by the lake and sketched out the lay of the land, preparing for your next painting. You watched your brothers splash around in the water with some other boys from the village. You could see the pure joy in their faces and made a mental note to try and capture that in your painting.

It wasn’t long before the midday sun became unbearable. You could feel it scorching your skin despite the thick layers of SPF your grandmother had lathered you and your siblings in. You decided it was probably best for you to go in for a while and get out of the sun. Your brothers were probably hungry too, with it being midday. You shouted over to them, both their heads turning as you beckoned them over and told them it was time to go in for some lunch. You began to collect all your belongings and head up to the house.

“There’s a new priest starting at the church this Sunday. I’d like it if you came this week, it would make a good first impression.” Your grandmother spoke up as you helped her set the table. You glanced over at the lake as you placed another fork down. “Really?” You mumbled, not really listening. “Yes, it would be good for you to get back in touch with your religion. Your mother tells me you don’t attend church back at home either.” Your grandparents were very religious, and they expected the same from their grandchildren. The reference to home made you feel sad for a moment. Although you loved coming to the lakes to see your grandparents, you missed your home. Your grandparents had moved to the south of France from Denmark when you were very young. You missed them dearly but they wanted a change and to have a much more relaxed and laid back life. Southern France did make for good vacations however.

“Oliver and Kaspar have been attending. They’ve been enjoying it, there’s lots of other young people there too. It’s be a good chance to make some friends for the summer.” Your grandfather had made an appearance at the table, your brothers following behind him. “I’ll think about it.” You said as you headed back inside to get the rest of the food. You could imagine your grandparents both shaking their heads. Religion had always been a touchy subject for you. You’d grown up being taught Catholicism and attended church every week with your parents back in Denmark. When you reached your teenage years, things began to change. You had many questions about religion and why things were so rigid. It made you uncomfortable. You stopped attending a short while after your thirteenth birthday.

There were some things that never changed however. You still wore your crucifix around your neck, it was a gift from your father at your first Holy communion. You found you could never take it off even if you wanted to. It felt as if it was welded into your skin and you felt bare without it. It was probably because it was from your father that you didn’t want to take it off. Your father had suffered with debilitating depression since you were ten after the loss of his brother. It had become hard for your mother to take care of you and your brothers. It was then that the yearly tradition of vacationing in France began. You and your brothers were shipped off to your grandparents every summer for 3 months so your mother could have a break from it all. You never really minded, you enjoyed being by the lakes.

Your grandparents house looked over the largest lake in the village. It was surrounded with beautiful native pine trees and small villas that blended in with the scenery seamlessly. After your meal you helped your siblings clear up and wash the dishes, still watching over the lake as you did so. You wanted to go back out there and continue your painting but the blazing sun said otherwise. You decided to take a nap instead and enjoy your break.

You found yourself attending church that Sunday. Your grandparents had finally worn you down, insisting that it would make you feel better and you’d make some friends. That it would even help you with your art work. You were exhausted of their constant nagging so in the end you just gave in. You were curious too, as to who this new priest was and why he was so special. Your grandmother had been talking about him non stop all week. How he’d come over from South Korea and he could apparently speak seven languages, including French of course.

When you arrived at the church that morning the sun had already began to beat down on you. You could feel the sweat dripping from your hair and down your neck. It didn’t help that you were already desperately uncomfortable walking into a place that made you feel like an outsider. Like you were a freak for thinking differently to everyone else inside, even though their rules were so rigid and based on a book written so long ago. However you were now sat on a pew, sandwiched between your older brother Kaspar and your grandmother. You couldn’t see much from where you were sitting, other than a large statue of the Virgin Mary that almost touched the ceiling at the front of the church. You couldn’t help think she looked sad. You wondered how long she’d stood there at the bow of the church. How many services she’d sat through and what she thought of them. Your attention was snatched from her when your grandmother touched your leg and indicated that the new priest had started his service.

The priest was tall, handsome and well spoken. He spoke mostly in French which you struggled to understand but sometimes switched to English. The service felt as if it went on forever. You were so hot and sweaty as the end neared, you couldn’t wait to get out and breath some fresh air. Many people got up to go and meet the new priest at the end of the service, your grandparents were included in that group. They waited in line for their turn to meet this, person. That’s all he was. You wondered why they were so excited. Your grandparents dragged you up too, along with your brothers and as you neared the front you noticed two equally as tall and handsome men stood next to him. They were younger, and you thought they may be his sons. You could feel yourself getting hotter and hotter as you moved closer. The one you deemed to be the youngest had the coldest and most attractive face you’d ever seen. Your face flushed red as you got closer.

“Thank you so much for coming.” The priest spoke as you got to the front. He shook your grandparents and brothers hands before getting to you. You were still so dazed by his son that you didn’t realise the priests hand stretched out to shake yours. Your grandmother nudged you and you quickly shook his hand. “These are my sons, Donghae,” he pointed to the oldest one, “and Jeno.” You could feel your throat close up as Jeno looked you up and down. A small smirk adorning his lips. Your grandfather finished the conversation and you were on your way again. Jeno’s face had become engrained in your mind. He was all you could think about on the drive back to the house and all you could think about when you went to bed that night.

When the following Sunday rolled around, you were the first one out of bed and ready to go. Your grandmother was surprised but extremely happy, thinking that you’d reconnected with your faith. But in reality you just wanted to see Jeno again. To look at his breathtaking face. You sat closer to the front on this day, making sure you could get a glimpse of the intimidating get enticing boy. You could feel yourself turning red when he turned around. You could feel his cold eyes burning deep into your soul. Maybe this was religion, you thought. Maybe he was God.

When the service ended, Jeno was the first one standing up, ready to leave. You quickly stood up too, racing out the pews to try and talk to him. Maybe to ask if he needs any help adjusting to the village. You did only live ten minutes from the church and you were always around if he needed anything. Your heart was crushed however when several other young girls surrounded him, trying to get his attention. Disheartened, you followed your family out of the church. Kaspar, your older brother had immediately realised what you wanted to do when you stood up. He knew last week from the way you looked at Jeno that you were interested in him. On your way out of the church he nudged you, “You like him, hey?” He teased, “What? No, he’s probably really conservative. He’s a priests son.” You nudged him back. You had experience with boys back home, you’d even briefly had a boyfriend. You never shied away from male attention, in fact, you welcomed it. You did well with the boys back in your home town and got bored here in France where there was barely any boys your age, and if there were, none of them interested you. This is probably why Jeno excited you so much. He was the first attractive boy you’d seen here in France.

“Really? Your face turned into a tomato as soon as he looked at you, tomat ansigt.” You shuddered at the nickname. Your mother had given it to you as a child when your face would turn as red as a tomato whenever you were embarrassed. “Don’t call me that mærkelig dreng.” You hit his shoulder earning a harsh glance from your grandmother as you got back into the car.

“I need some things from the market. Could you take Oliver down there and get everything on this list please?” Your grandmother asked you as she wondered into the living room where you sat on the old worn out leather couch, reading your book. She handed you the list as you reached your arm out. “Why do we need all this stuff?” You we’re inquisitive as to why there were so many items on the list, and good stuff too, like cake and ice cream. “Father Lee, the priest is coming tonight for dinner. Monsieur Clement and his wife and daughters and coming too. Make sure you get everything on the list please.” She widened her eyes as she emphasised. You called for Oliver and headed out to the market.

“I hate Monsieur Clement, he just talks about himself all the time.” Oliver whined as you headed into the grocery shop to finish your shopping. “I know Oli. Mormor said that his daughters are coming too. Maybe they’ll be your age.” He shrugged at your comment and picked up the next thing on your list. You doubted that though, Monsieur Clement was a retired business man in his early sixties. He had a substantial amount of money from what you could tell and he’d been living next to your grandparents for the past three years. You’d never met his daughters but part of you doubted that they’d be Oliver’s age. Probably more like yourself and Kaspar’s age, in their early twenties.

Your parents had had yourself and Kaspar when they were young and Oliver was a surprise slightly later in life. You and Kaspar had been so excited to have a little brother and you both absolutely adore him and constantly dote over him. Especially now with your dad practically out of the picture and your mother focused on caring for him and working too, you and Kaspar tried your hardest to make Oliver’s childhood a good one. Oliver was now eleven, you twenty and Kaspar twenty three but things hadn’t changed much from when you were young. You were a very close knit trio.

Your mind wondered back to the list and to the dinner, you were too focused on the fact that Monsieur Clement was attending to remember the fact that Father Lee, Jeno’s father may was attending too. You wondered if Jeno and his brother would be coming. You hoped they were. Maybe you’d finally get to talk to him. You and Oliver had finished up your shopping and began your walk home. It was sweltering outside. You’d gotten used to the cold air in the grocery shop and stepping outside felt like stepping into a furnace. Your eyes stopped on 2 figures outside the local Café. You recognised them to be Jeno and his brother. You watched them for a second. Jeno had a cigarette in one hand and his coffee in the other. Maybe he’s not so conservative if he smokes, you thought. Or maybe not, you don’t know him. You’re snapped out of your thoughts when Oliver shouts your name. He’s already half way down the street, waiting for you. Jeno and Donghae look up to see what the shouting is about and notice you. It’s quite obvious that you were looking at them from your position and stance. You flush red when you see that Jeno is staring at you, his face still cold and stern. You spin on your feet in embarrassment and quickly follow Oliver back home.

“Are Father Lee’s sons coming tonight?” Kaspar asks your grandmother whilst helping her with the cooking. You’re sitting on a chair in the kitchen, peeling some vegetables. You look up to see Kaspar smirking at you. “You hope so, don’t you.” He carries on, pointing at you. You roll your eyes when your grandmother looks at you and shakes her head. Your grandmother doesn’t answer but you realise they probably are when there are quite a few places set at the table.

When your guests finally arrive you notice the absence of the one person you really wanted to see. Kaspar notices your dissatisfaction and pats you on the back. “Don’t worry, Father Lee said he’d be here soon. He’s just finishing up something at home.” You breathed a sigh of relief but were annoyed at your brother for noticing and reading your facial expressions so easily. Monsieur Clement’s daughters were like goddesses. They were a similar age to Kaspar and yourself much to Oliver’s dismay. Kaspar wasn’t wasting time introducing himself however. You rolled your eyes at him and poked him in the side every time he faked a laugh at something one of the daughters said or when he over exaggerated something that happened to him as a child for effect.

You were still waiting for Jeno when you’d finished eating. Your grandmother was about to bring out dessert and you were helping her tidy the table. Whilst in the kitchen you heard a commotion outside and realised Jeno had turned up. His father seemed very pleased to see him, maybe thinking he wouldn’t turn up at all. You rushed into the bathroom and tidied up your appearance, brushing your hair off of your face and smoothing out your dress before stepping outside to greet Jeno. Monsieur Clement’s daughters had wasted no time in introducing themselves, clearly flirting with him. Jeno was very gracious in the way he spoke to them, soaking up their stupid comments. You took a seat next to Kaspar when your grandmother bought the dessert out. You stayed pretty quiet whilst the others chatted amongst themselves. “Jeno I realised I never introduced my grandchildren to you. This is Kaspar, my eldest grandson. My only and very beautiful granddaughter, and my youngest grandson.” Your grandmother pointed you all out as she spoke. Jeno looked at you up and down like he did in the church. It made your heart flutter. “What do you all do?” Father Lee asked. “I’ve just finished up university back in Denmark, I studied architecture.” Kaspar spoke, Father Lee nodded his head impressed. “What about you two?” You stayed silent for a second hoping Oliver would speak, Jeno didn’t take his eyes off you for a second making you feel desperately awkward. But Oliver didn’t speak, probably not knowing what to say in front of all these people. “I’m studying fine art at university. In my second year.” You managed to squeeze out. “Wow, are you enjoying it? I’d love to see some of your work.” Father Lee sounded surprised. “I’ve been painting lots over the summer, I have a few paintings inside.” You managed to string a proper sentence together as if you weren’t melting under the stare of the priests youngest son. “She’s really very good Father. I too have an interest in paintings,” Monsieur Clement started as if he has any idea about your painting ability but you realised it was just an opportunity for him to speak about himself. You were glad though.

The sun began to set and everyone was getting ready to leave. You watched as Jeno helped clear the table and your grandmother insisted he sit down and she was absolutely fine. You leaned over the railings of the balcony that looked over the lake. You didn’t realise Jeno approaching you. “It’s really very beautiful here. I didn’t realise it would be when my father told me about it.” You felt your soul leave your body. He was talking to you. You needed to say something. “It is. I love it here.” You just about managed to say. “I’d love to see some of your paintings if you’d let me. I’d assume this is a great place to get inspiration.” You tucked your hair behind your ear. He actually wanted to see your paintings. God, help. “There’s a couple upstairs, I’ll bring them down if you want. They’re not very good, they were only quick ones.” You nervously spoke. “I’m sure that’s not true.”

He followed you into the house, waiting in the living room, not wanting to follow you into your room. “They’re just of the lakes.” You bought down two. Those two were your grandmothers favourites. “These are really amazing. You’re so talented. I could only dream of being able to paint like this. Have you ever considered selling your work?” He sounded to passionate as he spoke, he was genuinely impressed with your skills. “My grandma keeps telling me too but I’m not sure.” You sit next to him as he holds one of the paintings, still looking at it in depth. “You should. You’re really good.” He places it down on the coffee table as his father peeks his head around the door. “Time to go Jen.” Jeno stands up and follows his father, not before stopping and turning around to look at you again. “It was really nice meeting you. I’ll see you around?” He asks, “Yeah of course. It’s a small village.” You giggle awkwardly. He gives you a small wave before disappearing with his dad.

It was a while before you saw Jeno again. He hadn’t attended his fathers services for the past couple of weeks and you couldn’t help but wonder where he’d gone. You’d even bumped into Donghae whilst at the Saturday market in the village. “Is Jeno okay? I haven’t seen him around much.” You couldn’t help but ask. His brother gave a small smile before replying, “He’s okay. Just doesn’t cope well in the heat. I’ll tell him you asked after him.” You felt like it wasn’t true but didn’t probe this man you didn’t really know for any more answers.

It was another scorching afternoon by the lake when you saw Jeno again. He was swimming in the lake with his brother, talking to your brothers as they swam too. When he noticed you he put up a hand and waved, you smiled back and waved too. After a while, Jeno came out of the lake and headed towards you, grabbing a towel from where he and his brother had left their belongings. “It’s beautiful.” He said when he reached you, gesturing to your painting. “Thanks, I’m nowhere near finished though.” You continued on and he took a seat on a rock next to you. You tried your best to concentrate on your work but the way the water droplets slid down his muscular shoulders had you extremely distracted. “What do you like about it here?” He suddenly asked, surprising you. “What isn’t there to like? It’s beautiful and quiet.” You found yourself looking directly at him now, watching the way his muscles flexed as he turned around to face you. “You don’t find it boring at all?” He squints his eyes in the sun. You shrug, “Not really. It’s quite different to home so it’s nice to escape.” You thought back to your home in Copenhagen. The busyness sort of made you cringe. You loved home but it was nice to get away from the bustling streets, especially in summer.

“What’s home like? I’ve never been to Denmark.” You wondered why he was talking to you, not that you weren’t grateful, this God like being was actually paying you attention so there wasn’t much to complain about. “I love Copenhagen. But it sometimes feels depressing,” You thought about your dad, “It’s really very beautiful though. You should visit sometime.” He nodded. “What about you? I’ve never been to South Korea either.” His eyes lit up when you mentioned his home country. “I desperately miss it. I like busy. I like loud and bright. For me, it feels like an escape. I can be myself there. Being stuck with my dad and brother and not knowing anyone, or the language. It’s hard.” He looked down, playing with a stone at his feet. “I get that. My french isn’t great.” He smiled up at you after you said that and then you both fell silent for a while. He watched as his brother and your brothers played in the water. Something about the water made everyone turn into a child again. That was one of the things you loved about it. You took this opportunity to get a better look at his body. He must work out, you thought. His body looked as if it was calved by angels. So sharp, yet soft. His beautiful tan skin still bestrewn with little water droplets glistening in the sun.

“Are you going in today?” He asked, gesturing to the lake. “I might do later. I want to get this painting finished soon.” You went back to your painting, pretending that that was what you were doing the whole time. “Come in now. It’ll be fun.” He stood up and began walking back into the lake, before turning round again. You assumed he was waiting for you. Not much could get you to stop getting in the lake on a normal day. Especially if there was a very beautiful man trying to get you to go in. When you got up you noticed the way Jeno checked you out. His eyes shuffling up and down your body, his tongue poking out the side of his lips. You followed him into the lake and you both swam towards your brothers.

“Hun er med!” Kaspar cheered. “Jeg er kold, jeg vil snart ud.” Oliver whined as he swam over to you, holding onto your shoulders. “Why are you speaking Danish?” It was unusual for your you and your siblings to speak in Danish when you where in France. You weren’t sure why, it had just always been that way. “Donghae wants to learn some Danish so we’re only speaking in Danish now.” Oliver swam past you, “og hvordan kan du være kold? Det er så varmt.” Oliver shrugged before splashing you with the water, you squealed, not ready for the water to touch your neck yet. Jeno hadn’t thought Danish could sound so beautiful until it came out of your mouth. He smiled at you as Oliver continued to splash the water at you, you splashed him back and before you knew it your grandmother was calling you from the house for dinner.

“Are you boys staying for dinner? We’d love to have you.” Your grandfather asked as you all walked onto the deck, soaking wet. “We wouldn’t want to impose.” Donghae spoke, he was very well spoken, like his father. “Nonsense! Stay!” Your grandmother said as she bought a serving dish of food out. “Thank you very much. This is too kind.” Jeno said as he took a seat, next to you. You smiled at him as you grabbed him a plate. “Don’t be silly. It’s nice to have you here for dinner again.” You said. He gave you a very warm smile back, before thanking you for the plate.

You enjoyed dinner. It was nice to get to talk to Jeno more. You learnt that Jeno was very popular at school, and he played soccer. You could guess that he was popular. He probably had girls dropping to their knees for him on a daily basis. Jeno now studied law at a prestigious university in Seoul and was very hard working, according to his brother. You could tell Donghae was extremely proud of Jeno. It was heartwarming. You also learnt that Jeno had three cats at home and that he missed them very much. You mention to him that there’s many strays here in France and that if he left food for them, they’d probably never leave him alone. He liked the idea of that. Despite being allergic to cats, which made everyone at the table laugh.

When dinner was done, both Jeno and Donghae stayed to help tidy up. Your grandmother was very impressed with their manners and said she would make sure to tell their father how respectful they were. You could see Jeno’s face scrunch up at the mention of his father. You wondered what it was about him that made Jeno do that. After cleaning up, Jeno and Donghae left and walked home to the cottage attached to the church. Not before thanking your grandparents profusely for the meal and for welcoming them into their home again. You really liked how polite they were to your grandparents. It made you a hundred times more attracted to Jeno.

Jeno had invited you to the lake this time. You couldn’t help but feel sick with excitement that he wanted to go swimming with you. He’d knocked on the door that evening desperate to see you. For some reason he couldn’t get you out of his head and he just wanted to be near you. You made him feel something he hadn’t felt before. Especially since arriving in France. “Nice bikini.” He said as you walked down to the lake together, your hands brushing past his every so often, making electricity spark through your nervous system. “Thanks.” You smiled up at him. He was referring to your old mismatched bikini you had pulled out of your bottom draw as quickly as you could when he came round. Your other much nicer ones were in the wash. You piled your towels on the shore and both walked in to the lake together. “This is nice.” You mumbled as you got deep enough to swim. The sun was setting over the two of you, making him look even more ethereal. He thought the same about you too. Your pretty little face lit up when he mentioned the cats again. He’d tried to feed them but none of them let him stroke them. “It’s okay there’s loads of friendly ones that come to my house in the evening. We’ll probably see them when we go back. Mormor likes to make sure they’ve had a good dinner.”

After he asked what a Mormor was you explained some more Danish words to him. He just liked to hear you talk, especially in your mother tongue. You asked him to teach you some Korean. He immediately taught you the swear words of course, making you gently slap his shoulder after he got you to say them without knowing what they meant. He liked the way your hands felt on his skin. They were so soft and kind. The sun had finally set over the two of you, bringing darkness. The lake at night was probably your favourite. You didn’t ever really get the opportunity to go in it at night as your brothers were usually too tired or playing games. Jeno loved the way your face caught the light from the moon. He thought you were more beautiful than ever. He really wanted to kiss you right now.

“Do you like going to church?” You suddenly ask him, making him snap out of his daze. “No, not really. I feel I’m obliged to because of my dad though.” You nodded and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Me neither. My family are pretty religious. I never used to go but I was forced to when there was a new priest,” you referenced his dad, making his face scrunch up again, “But I wanted to go after I saw you there. Your face made it more bearable.” You giggled, his face lit up. “Really?” He moved closer towards you and you placed a hand at the back of his neck. “Yeah, you’re not bad looking you know.” You said softly, placing your other arm behind his neck and finally securing both your arms around him. He felt like he was in heaven. As did you.

“I’m surprised to see you wear a cross then.” He looked down at your necklace. “My dad gave it to me. It feels weird to take it off.” You said, sadness laced through your voice. He didn’t ask about your dad, it was probably a sore subject, he decided. “I wouldn’t even call myself religious at all. I never understood it, never liked it.” Jeno suddenly said, boldly. “Me too! It feels wrong to me.” Jeno nodded at your comment. He felt close to you at that moment. He’d never been able to share his thoughts on his so called religion with anyone else. He was scared they would judge him. He was glad he could confide in you. After all, you were pretty much his only friend in this quiet little village. “What do you think made you feel like that? For me, it was when my church back home in Denmark was preaching about how being gay was wrong, and how you shouldn’t have sex before marriage. It doesn’t make sense. It’s so wrong.” Your arms were still wrapped around Jeno’s neck securely. He’d never felt so safe with anyone else to talk about this sort of thing before so he used it as an opportunity to get some things off his chest.

“The church my dad used to run, back in Korea. It was filled with people who believe those things. And to hear my dad talk about them too. It made me feel ill. I have friends back home that were, in my dads words, sinners. He didn’t like me hanging out with them because they believed differently to him. I’m an adult I should be able to do what I want, see whoever I want. But he didn’t see it like that. That’s why we’re here. He wanted my brother an I to get away from the sins in our home town and start fresh. He was hoping we’d suddenly turn to Christ and be born again.” Jeno looked down at the thin strip of water between the two of you. “I’ll never forgive him for taking me away from everything I know. This place, it’s beautiful don’t get me wrong. But it’s not for me. It’s too slow.” You pulled yourself closer to him, your lips close, to look into his eyes. “I’m sorry. That sounds really shitty. I promise it’s not that bad here. We’ll go into the market if you want. Try and do some less boring things.” You proposed, “It’s not boring here with you.” He said, looking back into your eyes. The distance between your lips was minute. He wanted to badly to kiss you then and there as did you. “We could do this everyday if you wanted.” You whispered, “I’d like that.” And with that he pressed his lips to yours.

“What’s going on with you and Jeno? You were awfully pleased with yourself last night.” Kaspar asks as he walks into your room, disturbing your peace. “We’re just friends. It’s nice to hang out with someone other than your brothers you know.” You throw your book at him and stand up. You wondered what Jeno was doing right now. “Touché.” Kaspar said as he walked out. “Oh and Jeno is here by the way, thought I should let you know.” He poked his head round the door and grinned. You quickly ran downstairs behind him. “Hey! What are you doing here?” You asked intuitively. “Just thought I’d take you up on that offer of going to the market.” He shrugged. “Of course! Let me grab my bag.” You rushed back upstairs to grab your bag, fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and headed back down.

“So how have you been?” He asks shyly. “You don’t have to be awkward with me just because we kissed.” You roll your eyes playfully at him before pushing him out the door. “Noted.” He grabbed your hand as you walked into the village. You looked down at your hands every so often as you passed different cottages and villas, fields full of lavender and smiled as Jeno squeezed your hands tighter. Even though you’d only known each other a few weeks, only spoken to each other a handful of times, it all felt right. “Hey can we go in here?” Jeno snapped you out of your thoughts and pointed towards a vintage store that seemed in the middle of nowhere, only surrounded by a few houses. “Sure, why not?”

The store was vintage alright. It definitely hadn’t been updated since the fifties. Everything was coated in a thick layer of dust. Your eyes were drawn to the back section of the store, it had various different sunglasses and hats. You tried on a pair of sunglasses and turned to Jeno, “What do you think? Sexy?” They were large, pink heart shaped glasses that made you look ridiculous. “Oh definitely.” Jeno smirked, “you want them?” He asked, stepping towards you and pushing them down your nose slightly. You slowly leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his lips, “Of course, they make me look super sexy!” Jeno smiled and placed another kiss on your cheek, making you blush a deep shade of red of course.

You and Jeno tried on more wacky sunglasses before you noticed the shop keeper beginning to become annoyed with you both. “I think we should probably go.” Jeno gritted his teeth awkwardly as you headed towards the front of the shop. You placed the heart shaped sunglasses on the front desk and began to look through your back for your purse, but before you could, Jeno whipped out his wallet and placed a bill on the counter. “Don’t be silly, let me pay.” You tried to give the bill back to him as the shop owner rolled her eyes. “No. Let me get them.” The lady took the bill and you two headed out the store, with your sunglasses on.

You walked past the church on your way to the market. You could feel Jeno stiffen up at the sight of it. You gave his hand a squeeze and smiled up at him. “There’s another vintage store in town. Actually there’s only 3 stores, ones a vintage store and the other two are grocery stores.” You grinned up at him, knowing he probably would find it boring. He didn’t though, he just loved being with you.

After your wild shopping experience, you and Jeno found yourself sitting outside the village café, the one you had seen Jeno and his brother sitting at a few weeks prior. “I’ve had a really great time with you. Thanks for showing me the village.” Jeno reached over the table to grab your hands. “I know it’s probably been boring for you but I did try.” He held your hands slightly tighter, “I had a lovely time. I like spending time with you. And I like kissing you.” Your face broke out into a grin at the last sentence. “I like kissing you too.” You leaned forward and placed a light kiss on his lips. You did really like kissing him.

That evening Jeno had stayed for dinner again. You got the sense that he didn’t really have family dinners so it probably felt comforting to have them. You could relate to that. Your ‘family dinners’ at home were usually you sitting in your room working on a painting whilst picking at some cheese and crackers. They weren’t exactly dinners at all. Your mother didn’t really cook, she was always quite busy with work. And your dad, well, he had barely left the house in ten years and couldn’t really move from his bed or the couch so dinner wasn’t really a thing. Let alone a family dinner. That was probably part of the reason you loved being with your grandparents so much. They loved taking care of you all and making extravagant meals, making sure you had everything you needed. Your grandfather would always drive into the nearest town with you to get more painting supplies if you needed them and your grandmother would sew up a hole on your clothes if you needed. It felt very homely and comfortable.

“What were you two up to today then?” Your grandfather asked you and Jeno. “We walked into the village and went into some vintage shop. I got these sunglasses.” You flicked the sunglasses from your head to your nose. “I was wondering about those.” He chuckled and went back to his meal. “Kaspar took me to the lake on the other side of the village today and there was some other boys there and we jumped off the jetty into the lake a thousand times. It was really fun.” Oliver smiled as you leaned over to pinch his cheek. “I’m glad you had fun Oli.” He hummed a yes and put another mouthful of salad into his mouth.

“Jeno I’ve been meaning to ask, I’ve been wanting to set up a baking group for the other elderly people in the village and was wondering if we could use the church hall to host it.” Your grandmother asked as she placed her final dish on the table and sat down. Jeno shifted in his seat, “Uh yeah, you’d have to ask him but I’m sure it would be okay.” You placed a hand over his under the table and gave it a squeeze before you changed the subject. “Mormor this salad is amazing. Did you grow these tomatoes?”

Your room was quite simple but your grandparents had allowed you to decorate it however you wanted. You had some fairy lights wrapped around the bedroom and your grandfather had helped you put up some of your favourite art work on your walls. Jeno liked your room, it felt very much like you. It was the first time he’d been in it. He noticed a shelf full of books and a floral piggy bank with a note on top, ‘For London’ it said. He smiled and sat down on your bed next to you. “So what did you want to do?” Jeno could barely finish his sentence before you grabbed his face and kissed him. He leaned into the kiss and bought his hands to your waist. You pulled away for a second before wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down on the bed to lay beside you. He nuzzled his head into your neck and placed a few soft kisses on it. “You’re pretty.” He finally broke the silence after you’d both laid there for a while. It was dark outside and you’d spent the whole day in the lake again. Jeno was starting to see why you loved the lake so much. “You’re pretty too.” You smiled down at him and placed a kiss on his head.

“If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?” You randomly asked, “Where did that come from?” He asked, stroking your leg. “But since you asked, I’d go to this small little village in the south of France, and I’d be laying in bed with a very pretty girl whilst she asks me random questions.” You grinned at his answer, “You wouldn’t go home?” You asked, unsure of what his answer would be. He knew you were referencing his home in Seoul when you asked this. “Hm, I do miss my home but right now I’m enjoying laying with you.” You ran your fingers down his back sending shivers down his spine. He loved the feeling he got when you touched him.

“Do you believe in God?” You shot another random question at him. He didn’t know how to answer this one because he genuinely didn’t know the answer. “I don’t know, do you?” He asked. You pondered for a while before saying, “I think so. It’s probably because I’m scared to believe otherwise. I would like to believe that there’s a heaven and that there’s someone there looking out for you. Even if His previous decisions were questionable.” He hummed in agreement. “When did your dad become a priest?” He shuffled to get more comfortable, “Not very long ago, maybe ten years? He divorced my mother to become one. It was a strange time. It’s not usual to hear of priests with children. I was worried what would happen when we came here because our old church had gotten used to it.” You had wondered why your village’s new Catholic priest had two sons at the time but never really questioned it. You wondered if anyone else had too, they probably had knowing the people in this village.

“I’m sorry that happened.” You whispered whilst placing another kiss on his head. “I think that’s why I’m so adverse to religion. My father denounced everything, his wife and almost his two children for a job. He’s moved us over to a country we no barely anything about for a job. You don’t even have to divorce if you’re already married to become a priest. I think he just went crazy.” Jeno shrugged whilst you stroked his hair to comfort him. “I know it seems strange that Donghae and I are both adults but we can’t make our own decision about where we live. But he’s controlling, it didn’t feel like we had a choice.” Jeno huffed and nuzzled deeper into your neck. “I understand. Thank you for sharing that with me. I know stuff like that is hard to talk about.” Jeno placed another kiss on your neck before you started speaking again. “I think I’m the opposite. I have so much freedom that it’s scary. My mother is a workaholic. Well I guess she has to be to keep a roof over our heads. It seems mean to say this but I don’t think she really cares where we are or what we’re doing as long as we’re not causing problems for her. My dad barely leaves the house. He fell into a deep depression after his brother passed away when I was eight or nine. It’s like he’s dead too. He’s alive but he’s dead.” You felt a pang of sadness hit your chest. You didn’t talk about your dad much because it hurt too much. You had a great relationship with him until your uncle had died and after that you completely lost him. You suddenly felt guilty that you’d offloaded your problems onto Jeno after he’d just poured his heart out to you. “Is that why you like it here so much? It feels more like home?” He sits up and asks you. “Yeah, I think so.” You whisper. Jeno presses a kiss to your forehead, then one on your nose and then finally one on your lips. “We’ll go to the lake tomorrow to swim after church, hey?” He placed a hand on your cheek, “Yeah I’d like that.”

You awoke in the morning with Jeno softly snoring with his head on your chest. Oh Lord. You must have both fallen asleep after talking. “Jeno, wake up.” You ran your fingers through his hair, not wanting to wake him up abruptly but also enough to actually wake him up because you were sure your grandparents wouldn’t be happy about a boy sleeping in your room. Not that you’d meant it. But even so, they wouldn’t be happy. He mumbled something incoherent as he shuffled on top of you. “Jen, we need to get up.” He sleepily lifted his head and when he noticed where he was his eyes opened wide. “Oh shit, sorry. We must have been tired last night.” He lifted himself off of you and sat on the edge of the bed whilst you started to get up and move around. He watched as you picked up some clothes off the floor and placed them in your washing basket. It was daytime now so things were much more visible. Your room was messy, skincare stuff and makeup was scattered all over your desk, clothes on the floor and your painting stuff just chucked in the corner. “Don’t worry my room is horrific. This is clean.” You rolled your eyes at him and threw one of your t-shirts at him. “I’d this for me? It looks a bit small?” He smiled and you rolled your eyes again throwing another item of clothing at him.

It wasn’t long before you arrived at the church with your family and Jeno. Jeno’s father immediately pulled him aside, he didn’t look happy. You wondered what they were talking about. You could see Father Lee gesturing for Jeno to sit next to his brother. Jeno gave you a smile of sympathy before sitting next to his brother. You sat in the middle with your grandparents and brother. You looked up at Mary whilst Father Lee started his service. You wondered if she cared about what was going on below her. She’d probably heard it all a million times. You sort of admired her despite your aversion to church and to religion. She had stood at the top of the church all this time, silently watching for all these years. Your eyes wondered around to the various paintings on the ceiling. How long did it take to paint those? And how high did the ladder have to be to reach the top? And how did the people painting them know what Jesus looked like? They had no reference. You couldn’t deny the churches beauty. Lots of people had obviously worked very hard to create this place hundreds of years ago. You decided to watch the back of Jeno’s head for a while. It was lowered for most of the time. He only looked up when his father spoke a word he understood, or when his brother spoke to him. It made you feel sad.

Jeno had been invited around for dinner for the umpteenth time that week by your grandparents. They could see how happy he was making you and could probably see that Jeno needed some company too. It was late when Jeno suggested you both walk into the village. Your grandparents made sure to tell him to take good care of you as it was dark and he assured them he would never let anything bad happen to you. That made you smile. You loosely held hands as you walked. You could see some horses had been put into a pasture along the road and you headed towards them, stroking their noble heads and giggling when they tried to nibble at your jumper. You passed the church a few minutes later and you were surprised when Jeno crossed the road to head towards it. You were even more surprised that the church was unlocked when Jeno pushed one of the large wooden doors open. “I want to show you something.” He said as you followed behind him. He headed towards the front and looked up, “Despite everything I feel about church and religion and my dad, I’ve always quite liked Mary.” He spoke softly, you held his hand close to you and leaned your head on his shoulder whilst you both looked up at the statue. “She’s managed to fool all of these people into believing she was a virgin despite getting pregnant. It’s amazing really.” He almost laughed at his own statement. You moved your attention to Jeno’s face as he looked up at the statue. His face must have been calved by angels, if they existed. It was perfect. He was perfect. You moved in front of him so you were facing him and wrapped your arms around him. He returned the gesture and wrapped his arms around you too. “Are you a virgin?” You suddenly ask out of the blue. Jeno is shocked by your question and almost chokes whilst trying to answer it. “What?” He says, “Are you a virgin?” You repeat, this time looking up at him. “I have a controlling overly religious father, what do you think? He raises an eyebrow. “Wait, you actually are? But you’re so hot!” You place and hand on his chest, your mouth wide open. “Thank you, I guess.” You wrap your arms around his neck and place a kiss on his lips. His hands find your waist and you slip your tongue into his mouth. “You kiss well for a virgin.” You couldn’t but say it. “I’ve have kissed girls before!” He sounds offended but doesn’t say anymore as you press your lips to his again.

Your arms unwrap themselves from Jeno’s neck and your hands find your way to his chest and then lower, and then slightly lower. “Is this okay?” You ask when you pull away from his lips. He looked to pretty right now, his lips red and slightly swollen. He mumbles out a “yes,” and you drop to your knees. In a church. God if you are real and you’re watching us right now, please forgive me, you thought as you began to unbutton Jeno’s pants. He watches you as you pull his underwear down, and take his cock into your hand. You look up at him again and he swears this is the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen in his life. You pump his cock a few times before taking it into your mouth. You make sure to retain eye contact as you suck, wanting to see Jeno’s reaction as you gave him head in the middle of his fathers church. It felt so unbelievably good, he thought, the fact that it was so wrong excited him. You kept looking up at him through your eyelashes as you went, making sure to take him right to the back of your throat. He threw his head back and groaned as you did this so you knew you were doing a good job. “Fuck, this is amazing.” He moaned and placed his hands on the back of your head. You could sense he was getting close as he pushed slightly on your head and let out a loud groan. “Come in my mouth.” You said as you took your mouth of his cock for a second. He quickly pushed your head back down and you giggled before taking it back into your mouth. And then he came. Right into your mouth, some spilling out past your lips and onto your chin. You swallowed before coming back up to face him. “Holy shit. I have faith. How could God not be real if having your dick sucked in a church felt that good?” You joked and you giggled at his comment as he took your face into his hand and wiped his cum off of your lips and chin. “Thank you baby.” He placed a kiss to your forehead before bringing you into his chest for a hug. “No problem.” You grinned cheekily at him and wrapped your arms around his waist. “You should probably pull your pants up and get me out of here though. It’s late.” He smiled and placed another kiss on your forehead before you both headed back to your house.

“Really, thank you though.” Jeno said as he pulled the covers over you both. “Stop thanking me! It’s the least I could do!” You giggle and throw your arm over his stomach. “What random question are you gonna ask me tonight?” He asked as he placed a hand on your head, reminiscent of the nights earlier events, but this time to stroke your hair. “Hm, who is your favourite artist?” You run your hands down his chest and abs, feeling over the beautifully crafted muscles. “You.” He says immediately. “No like a real artist.” You look up at him and he swears it almost makes him hard again. “You are a real artist. You make art, beautiful art, and, you’re real.” He says very surely. “Thank you.” You lean your head into his chest. “Are we gonna risk you sleeping over again? Yeah I think we are, you’re very comfortable.” You say as your eyes flutter shut.

“Stop!” You squeal as Jeno lifts you over his shoulder and quickly walks into the lake, following your brothers. “No! Come and have some fun!” Your brothers laugh, enjoying their sisters misfortune but also enjoying seeing you so happy. “I was having fun!” You try to argue but it doesn’t seem to make any difference as Jeno dunks you into the lake. When you come up from the water you push Jeno back to try and get him to fall back into the water but you fail miserably and fall yourself, right into his chest. “Aw what a lovely thank you hug for making enjoy your day instead of sitting on the side just watching us.” You give in and wrap your hands around his neck placing a kiss on his cheek. Oliver makes a gagging sound and splashed you both, Jeno immediately unwraps himself from you and chases your brother round as fast as he can despite the water trying to stop him. Kaspar makes his way towards you, “I like this version of you. All happy and loved up. It’s nice.” You lay back in the water and watch the clouds above you. “But what’s gonna happen when we have to leave for Denmark again?” You hadn’t even thought about the fact you’d have to go back at the end of the summer and it made you feel sick. “I don’t know. But I don’t really care right now.” You stand upright again and look at your brother, a pout on your lips. “Sorry for bringing it up. Just want to prepare you.” You knew your brother only ever had good intentions. He’d never want to hurt you, he loved you far too much. You enjoyed watching Jeno chase Oliver for a while longer before you decided you were too cold and needed to get out of the water.

Jeno joined you by the lakeside a few minutes later as you lay out on your towel, enjoying the sunshine with your new sunglasses. The lake had a mix of stones and sand surrounding it and you’d found a good spot with no stones. He laid next to you on his side on the towel you’d brought him. He reached for your hand and gave it a squeeze when he retrieved it. “You’re so pretty.” He said, which made you break out into a smile. You felt all your worries leave your body whenever he spoke. “Even in my sunglasses?” You teased, “Even in your sunglasses.” He winked at you before he headed back into the lake with your brothers. You sat up and watched them for a while, playing and thrashing about in the water. Oliver had brought a ball with him and they were throwing it about playing some sort of game they’d made up. You couldn’t help but smile watching Jeno get on so well with your brothers.

Your brothers had never liked your previous boyfriend, if that was what you could even call Jeno, you weren’t sure, you hadn’t spoken about it. Your ex wasn’t exactly interested in having any sort of relationship with your family and it made you sad. When you thought back to it, all he wanted was to have sex with you, and when you weren’t having sex he was distant and cold. You broke up with him after five months, five months too long, you thought, and he was surprised that you’d done it. You couldn’t believe the audacity he had. He was honestly shocked that you wanted to end things with him after he treated you like you like you were just a hook up. You could remember Oliver being so relieved when you told him your boyfriend wouldn’t be coming over anymore. “Thank the Lord.” He said. He was only nine.

The boys finally made their way out the lake, complaining of hunger. You suggested that instead of bothering your grandmother for food, you’d head out into the village for lunch. Your grandmother never minded cooking for you but you thought she deserved a break, having cooked three meals a day for you for the past two months. You walked back up into the house to get changed, Jeno following behind you. Your grandparents weren’t in anyway, you remembered they’d told you they were driving into the closest town to pick up something your grandfather needed. As you and Jeno walked into your bedroom you caught a whiff of your hair, it smelt of lake. “I’m just gonna shower quickly. I smell of lake.” You told Jeno. Your mind, being in the gutter as always, asked you to invite him in. So you did. “Wanna come shower with me? I don’t share a bathroom with anyone so we’re safe.” You gave him a sultry look. He didn’t have to say anything as he followed you into the bathroom, taking his shirt off as he did so.

You turned on the shower and began undressing. You realised Jeno had never seen you naked before. You suddenly felt insecure, but there wasn’t any going back now. Jeno watched as you took off your bikini top, mesmerised by how beautiful you were. Once you were fully naked you stepped into the shower, “Coming in?” You snapped Jeno out of his daze and he pulled off his shorts and got in with you. “You’re so beautiful.” He ran his hands down your sides. You smile at him and place a kiss on his cheek. Jeno helps you wash your hair and makes sure your conditioner is coating every strand of your hair. Once you’re done you step out, pulling a towel around yourself and pass one to Jeno. He wraps it around his waist and follows you back through the hallway and into your bedroom, thankful you hadn’t been caught by your brothers.

When you arrive at the village café you sit down on one of the tables outside. Having already decided on your orders on the walk there, Jeno and Kaspar go inside to order your meals. “You like Jeno a lot don’t you?” Oliver asks you. “I do Oli.” You smile at him, “I like Jeno too. He’s very nice. He’s nice to you too.” You feel bad that Oliver had probably picked up on the way your ex had treated you. It probably worried him. But you’re grateful that he likes Jeno. When Kaspar and Jeno come out they have your drinks. Jeno places your coffee in front of you and sits down next to you. He immediately grabs your hand from under the table and rests it on his thigh. You give his hand a squeeze and try your coffee, humming in pleasure at its taste.

It’s three in the morning and you can’t sleep. Jeno had decided that after your walk to see the horses in the pasture that he should probably go home and sleep in his own bed that night. He had mentioned that his father wasn’t happy that he was out almost every night and questioned his whereabouts whenever he would see him. Which wasn’t very often these days. You couldn’t sleep without Jeno now though. He’d spoiled you with his fantastically comfortable chest which you used as a pillow. You decided that you weren’t going to sleep any time soon so you got up and out of bed. You sneaked out to the kitchen and out the back door successfully without waking anyone and made your way down to the lake. This was something you did often before Jeno had arrived in the village. Your grandfather had told you off about it, saying it wasn’t safe to go down to the lake on your own at night but you needed to see the water sometimes. Even if you’d been in the lake all day, sometimes you just needed to watch the water.

The moon reflected off the middle of the lake and reflected in your eyes. It looked beautiful, you thought. You sat down on a rock and looked out into the water. It was so calm and peaceful. You thought back to your previous summers spent overlooking the lake. None of them were as happy as this summer. You felt ill at the fact that in three weeks time, you would be on a plane on your way back to Copenhagen. You hadn’t spoken to Jeno about it but both of you knew it was coming. You could feel your heart ripping apart at the thought of the conversation. You couldn’t leave him here, even if you would be back the following summer, you didn’t think you could last nine months without him, you couldn’t even last a night without him. You were pulled from your thoughts when you heard footsteps on the rocks behind you. You spun your head in fear but your heart rate returned to a slightly lower rate when you realised it was Kaspar. “Jesus Kristus, du skræmte mig.” You threw a tiny pebble at his legs. “Sorry.” He chuckled before taking a seat next to you.

“Couldn’t sleep?” He asked, his legs spreading out in front of him. “No, I can’t sleep without Jeno.” You shamefully admitted to him. “What are you gonna do when we get home?” He asked. He knew that you were in love with Jeno. His question wasn’t necessarily about your sleeping habits but just in general. What were you going to do? He wrapped an arm around you and you rested your head on his shoulder. You both stayed in silence as you watched the little ripples form in the water as the breeze skimmed across it. “We should go in. You need to sleep.” He stood up and offered you a hand. You both headed back into the house and Kaspar dropped you back off at your bedroom. You couldn’t sleep at all that night.

You must have fallen asleep eventually because when you awoke, it was already midday. You wondered into the kitchen to see if anyone was in. You could see your grandparents through the kitchen window tending to their garden and you assumed your brothers were down at the lake. There was only one thing you wanted to do today and that was to see Jeno. You quickly got ready and headed out up the road and into the village. When you got to the church you knocked on the cottage door. Donghae opened it and seemed happy to see you. He let you in and told you Jeno was in his room and he would go and get him. You waited for them and decided to glance around the kitchen. There were portraits of Jesus and Mary, several crucifixes and what you assumed was a Bible quote on the wall, but it was in Korean. When Jeno appeared he seemed surprised to see that you’d come to his home. He immediately took your hand and ushered you to his room without saying anything. “Is your dad in?” You asked when Jeno shut the door. “No thank God, but you can’t just appear here. You’re not my fathers favourite church goer believe it or not.” You smiled knowingly. Jeno’s father would often give you stern looks in church. Jeno had told you that his father believed you were corrupting him. That was true, you thought, thinking back to the ‘incident’ in the church. You didn’t care what Jeno’s father thought of you, you only really cared about Jeno. It was probably pretty selfish to think that but Jeno would probably agree with you.

Jeno guided you to his room and shut the door behind him. He had nothing on his walls other than a crucifix above his bed, which was messy and unmade. There were a few items of clothing strewn around the floor and books piled up on the desk. He noticed you looking around, “I was going to ask you if you’d paint me something I could hang on the wall. Just to make it feel more homely I guess.” You nodded and joined him on the bed. “I would be more than happy to.” You placed a kiss on his cheek. A knock on the door snapped you both out of your daze and Jeno instantly got up, scared it was his father knocking. Donghae opened the door and told Jeno something in Korean. When he shut the door behind him Jeno said, “He’s going out. We probably have a while before anyone gets back.” You then immediately pressed your lips to his and pushed him back on the bed.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer and deepened the kiss. His hands slipped under the t-shirt you were wearing, which just so happened to be his. He must have left it at your place after a swim in the lake. You pulled away from him and hooked your fingers under his shirt, beginning to pull it up over his head. He leaned forward to help you and threw the shirt in the pile of clothes on the floor. You immediately ran your hands over his chest, admiring how beautiful he was and went back in for another kiss. Jeno straight away slipped his hands under your shirt and you helped him get better access by taking it off. You also took the opportunity to remove your bra. Jeno had seen your naked body before but this time he felt different, and he swore he’d never seen something so beautiful in his life. You grabbed his hand and placed it on your breast before placing your lips back on his. You ground down on his crotch and could feel him hardening up at the friction. He moaned and ground his hips back up into yours. You continued like this for a while before you decided enough was enough and you needed him. You swung your leg over him and pulled him up by the hands so he was sitting in front of you. You unbuttoned his pants, just like you’d done in the church that day and he stood up to remove them along with his boxers. You took off your shorts and underwear and then got back into the bed. Jeno took a moment to appreciate how perfect everyone was at that moment and how beautiful you looked, waiting for him. He got on top of you, bringing you in for a kiss. “Are you sure you’re ready?” You asked him, placing a hand on his cheek, making sure he wanted to go through with it. He leaned over to his nightstand and rummaged through it, pulling out a condom.

“You were prepared for this, huh?” You smiled at him, kissing him again. He ripped open the condom and rolled it over his cock and lined himself up. “Go ahead.” You eyes rolled back into your head as he pushed into you and you grabbed his shoulders to ground you. “Holy fuck.” He groaned as he began to fuck in and out of you, “You feel so good baby.” He panted as he placed small kisses on your breasts and neck. “Jen, I love you.” It just came out of your mouth. You didn’t mean it to but God you meant it. “I love you too beautiful, I have since the moment I saw you.” You pulled him closer to you and be buried his face in your neck. He fucked in and out of you slowly and carefully. You could feel yourself getting close as could he. “Go faster.” You breathed out. He propped himself up and began to fuck you faster and harder and the feeling in the pit of your stomach grew. You whined out and grabbed on to Jeno’s back, probably leaving marks but you didn’t care at that moment, you felt so good. “I’m gonna cum.” He choked out before he released, shaking and moaning. He pulled out of you and snaked down your body, his head ending up at your pussy. He licked a stripe up you and focused on your clit, sucking on it. It wasn’t long before you came too, grabbing on to his hair as he ate you out. “Thank you baby. I love you.” You pulled him up towards you and placed a kiss on his mouth and pulling him closer to you by wrapping your arms around his neck. He collapsed on top of you, mumbling an “I love you too,” before wrapping his arms around your waist and snuggling into your neck.

It was a beautiful evening as the sun set over the lake and you and Jeno were in the water, your arms around his neck and his around your waist. You’d been meaning to talk to him about your return to Denmark but the right time never came. You weren’t sure that the right time would ever come. But it had to at some point. You pressed a kiss to Jeno’s lips before starting what would probably be one of the hardest conversations of your life. You weren’t sure where to even start. Leaning your head on his shoulder, you spoke, “I leave for Denmark again in 10 days.” You felt Jeno’s body tense up under your touch. He didn’t respond he just leaned his head into your shoulder and placed a gently kiss on it. You could feel your eyes beginning to fill with tears as you moved your arms up to cradle his head, stroking his hair. “I don’t want to go.” You cried, tears cascading down your cheeks. “I don’t want this to end.” Jeno held you tightly. He didn’t know what to say. His heart felt like it had been ripped out of his chest and stamped on repeatedly. “Don’t go, please.” He managed to squeeze out, trying not to cry too. “I have to Jen. I have school and my parents.” Jeno couldn’t stop the tears from falling as he gripped into you harder, as if holding you tighter might prevent you from leaving. “You can’t leave me here.” He choked out, sobbing now. “I’m sorry Jen. I love you so much.” You pulled away from him and looked into his eyes, wiping away the tears with your thumb.

Jeno slept round again that night, holding you tighter and closer than he ever had. Making sure to take in everything about you. The way your skin felt on his fingers, the way you smelt and the way every time you touched him it felt like an electric pulse shot through his body. “I can’t be alone here.” He let out randomly in the middle of the night. “I don’t know what I’ll do.” It was the early hours of the morning at this point and neither of you had slept. Jeno shot up from the bed, his hands covering his face as he sat on the side. You sat up too and placed your head his back. The panic of not having you here was starting to set in with him and he wasn’t coping very well. “I can’t.” He choked before letting out a sob. You weren’t sure if anything you were going to say would help him. You’d racked your brains for ways your mother might let you stay in France but you kept coming up empty. She was be furious with you if you were just going to throw away your education and future for a boy you’d met on vacation. It didn’t feel like that to you though. Your relationship with Jeno was different, you felt so connected to him in a way that was so hard to explain. “I know,” was all you could say as you rubbed his back, trying to comfort him.

Over the following days you and Jeno had been stuck together like glue. He hadn’t left your side and you hadn’t left his. Your grandparents had noticed that you were so desperately trying to hang on to each other, with it coming to the end of your stay. Jeno was in the lake with your brothers one afternoon, it was probably the first time he hadn’t been right next to you since your conversation. You’d decided to stay on the lakeside and paint. Your grandfather had joined you after a while. “How are you coping?” He said as he stood next to you awkwardly, probably not knowing what to say to you. His granddaughters love life wasn’t exactly his area of expertise. “I think we’re just pretending it’s not happening.” You sighed and continued to add paint to your canvas. “You know, you can always come here whenever you’d like. It doesn’t just have to be for the summer.” He said, placing a hand on your shoulder. “I know Farfar, but you know my mother. We have to help at home.” You looked up and him and he pulled you in for a side hug.

On the evening before you left, it was tradition for you to play board games with your grandparents. Jeno had stayed for this occasion of course and you’d both played happily alongside your family. Jeno had helped you pack your bags and had sneakily placed a few of his t-shirts in your bag, knowing how much you liked to wear them. He seemed okay, you thought, but it didn’t stop you from worrying about him. You didn’t feel okay at all. You wanted to cry when you noticed that he’d put some of his shirts in your bag but you didn’t say anything, worried that it would set him off again. Jeno held your hand throughout the whole of your games night, bringing it up to his mouth every so often to place a soft kiss on it. Your grandparents and brothers felt sad for you both and looked at you with sorry eyes every time Jeno did it. They could see how much love you had for each other and it broke their hearts that you’d be split apart in the morning.

There wasn’t enough room in your grandfathers car for Jeno to come on the ride to the airport. You realised as you piled your bags into the car that the time had finally come and you’d have to say goodbye to Jeno. You grasped his hands so tightly after you’d packed your last items in your room. Tears flowed immediately as he pulled you in for a hug. You sobbed into his chest and he placed small kisses on your neck. You could feel his tears hitting your skin as you held each other tightly. “I love you so much. So fucking much, it’s killing me.” He kissed up your neck, moving his hands to cradle your head as you stroked his back. “I love you.” He said again. “I love you.” You said back, softly, and he sank into you even further, letting out a sob.

You watched Jeno’s sad eyes as your grandfather pulled away from the house. Kaspar wrapped an arm around your shoulder and placed a kiss on your temple as you cried. You felt as if you couldn’t breathe. You felt as if your heart had been ripped out and stamped on, placed through a shredder and thrown in the trash. On the way through the village you asked your grandparents to stop off at Jeno’s house. You wanted to give him his gift when he wasn’t there. You didn’t think either of your hearts could have taken the final break of you giving him a goodbye gift. You placed the painting of the lake on his doorstep with a note attached. It was the painting you’d been working on when Jeno had approached you at the lake at the beginning of the summer.

END.

#jeno #jeno au #jeno scenarios #jeno blurbs #jeno stables #jeno imagines #jeno hard hours #jeno x y/n #jeno x you #nct jeno #jeno angst #jeno x reader #jeno smut #jeno fanfic #nct #nct dream #nct dream blurbs #nct dream fanfic #nct dream scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream au

[binkszamsstuff]

camp of america

summery: when the reader vists a small summer camp in the middle of montana she is in for a twisted love from two men. when she learns the truth of what she has been brought into can she get out?

warnings: dark!steve roger x dark bucky barnes x innocent reader (dark! stucky x reader) losely based off of the moive mid sommer

Not proof read, or edited sorry but I'm lazy🤷

《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》

Summer of 1972 somewhere between June 1-3 the leaders of camp America waited for the bus of new campers to arrive. "I dont know if i can wait another summer" one of the leaders told in counterpart. "I know you cant, but me neither." The other man said back "I just hope that these fresh campers aren't like the ones last year." The man with slivers rings on his fingers spoke clearly to the other. "We need our flower, time is running out. We're the leaders yet we have no 3rd."

Just as the other man was about to reassure his partner the old rusty sc hool bus pulled into the dirt and gravel drive way. Both of the leaders put on fake smiles hoping that soon they wouldnt need them. The young, boys and girls filed off the yellow bus the two leaders scanning the faces hoping to find one worthy. Then the leaders eyes met with y/e/c, both men ran over her. Long tan legs that her shorts did a great job at showing off. Her long hair blew in the slight summer breeze. They found their flower.

"Hello everyone! We are the leaders of Camp America. I'm brother steven and this is my partner brother james some may call him bucky" steven the blonde one of the two told the new campers.

As the two shared more about the camps life and people they kept an eye on the girl. Hers eyes wide with amazement, the beauty of the people, camp, and culture held a dark sinister tone. in the camp all of the fresh eyed people felt cold on their necks. Even when the sun was wrenchingly hot it was like a beast that could not be met by the eyes was breathing down their backs.

"The men and the women sleep together in one sleeping unit. But when two get married they move to a cabin on the other side." Steven and james walked into the long unit house beds and bunck beds lined up in rows some people were out side working.

When the group passed by they all smiled and said hello all wearing wearing white while the children wore yellow. When the group walked in the sleeping unit they were met with moans of pleasure, three woman laid having sex.

"Now we dont forbid premarital sex we think it's an art here. You can have sex with who ever you like man or woman here but once you are married you can not and if one breaks said rule there will be consequences."

All the new campers etheir looked away from the three woman or started -most men kept their eyes on them. In the group their were 4 girls and 9 boys one being toby raxx a hellish boy that y/n was not to happy seeing.

They continued to walk on with the tour and have dinner y/n talked and mingled with the people saying hello and thanking them for opening up their home. Y/n was very understanding, her own mother was from a place like this and when summer came she would go to a rainy part in Washington were her grandparents lived in the camp her mother grew up in. But that all changed when she was 12, her mother had disappeared one day, and her father closed off.

Never the same. He forbid her to ever speak to her grandparents or ever go to the camp. mumbling under his breath that the camp did something to her mother sisley. Her father never used to believe in God and never went to church but after her mother he prayed and he made her as well every sunday they went y/n didnt mind but she did miss her summer fun in her grandparents community.

As y/n talked around and laughed with the people and children, a red haired woman couldn't take her eyes off of the young girl. Natasha was well a where of the other people looking at the girl with lustful eyes especially the leaders.

Y/n was open minded, and found her heart and child like ways more happy here, it reminded her so much of her mother and grandparents. Once night fell they made their way back to the shared unit, they gave all the of them white long baggy dresses to wear from now on. Y/n remembered that her mother wore them often.

When the sun was finally down and she was changed as she made her way to her assigned bed, pulling the blanket down and getting nice and cozy sleep taking her o er quickly.

As the night went on people began to shed their clothes, james and steven walking in the sleeping unit they watch as Natasha a red haired woman that they used to have sex with make her way to their girl sleeping peacefully unaware of the filthy moans and skin slapping around.

Her soft long hair flowing on the pillowcase so innocent. Natasha gently pulled her blanket back, y/n's nightgown ridden up on her waist revealing her white little cotton panties with a pink bow on top. Both leaders now sat on the empty bed across from their girls. The Green eyed woman pulled y/n's panties down, Nat had now had the girls legs open wide showing casing a pretty naked pussy to the three on them steve and bucky naked slowly jerking eachother off at the sight of her virgin cunt.

The red haired woman kicked her lips eyes blown out with lust. She made little kitten licks to her clit a soft moan coming from y/n. Natasha then dived deep sucking and slurping at the innocent girls pussy.

James and steven moving their hands faster as y/n's eyes opened gasping at the sight of the woman between her legs. Sitting up on her elbows she said "What are you d-" she was cut of by a loud moan coming from her throat when Natasha sucked harder the womans green eyes met with her y/c/es eyes . Steven standing up from the bed cock wet and pre cum leaking from the tip he yanked the dress all the way off of y/n her breasts now out james moaning at the sight.

Steven leaning down her neck and chest leaving kisses in his wake, one hand playing on her nipple well the other nipple was being sucked on. "O-oh that feels sooo good" y/n sequeled in delight her eyes heavy. James's blue eyes locking with y/n's as he came hot white cum shooting out all over his hand and soon she followed cumming on Natasha's face, the red head moaning at the taste of her.

"Your ours now sweet girl" bucky spoke.

A/n: I'm probably not making a part 2

#bucky barnes #bucky x female reader #marvel #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes oneshots #steve rogers #steve rogers au #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fic #dark bucky x you #dark stucky x reader #dark steve x reader #dark!bucky barnes #dark steve rogers #mean steve #steve x bucky #stucky x female reader #stucky #stucky x y/n

[unluckyhoneybee]

Mini Norris pt2. (Lando Norris)

Being a step mum is difficult, but not as much as you thought. Fluff.

Mini Norris Pt1.

Note: The second and last part of this story. I won't write more sorry. REQUESTED. NOT EDITED.

Toby, Cinni, Lando and I had been living together for a few months now.

Life with the Norris was so easy it seemed strange. Toby was a real god boy, he was polite and so sweet and hardly ever caused problems. Lando and he understood each other perfectly, they were best friends so everything was always solved easily.

Lando had understood my position. He understood that I didn't want to be Toby's mum and that I didn't want my own kids. He understood that there were limits that I didn't want to cross and he respected it, which made me fall even more in love with him. He made it so easy. He understood that Toby and I needed space, that we could be the bestest of friends but we also needed to spend time alone with him. There were dates, weekends away just the two of us, we still made plans alone just as he had his moments with his son.

Apart from that, Toby and I were getting closer and closer. He had even told me a couple of secrets, giggling a don't tell dad before running to his room. He was the cutest boy.

At first, on race weekends, he went to his grandparents' like usual. But for the last two, we had stayed at home together. We had gone to visit them on Sunday to see the race together. The boy loved to sit on his grandpa's lap and comment with him on every single thing.

This one was the third we would stay alone and when Lando was getting ready, I heard a loud Toby being shouted. Seconds later, the kid ran down the stairs and crossed the living room, disappearing through the backyard's door.

"Toby! Come back"

I heard Lando's heavier steps and I got up.

"Lando, what happened?"

"Toby! Where are you? He opened my luggage and pulled everything out"

Lando was red as a tomato, fuming and probably not thinking straight.

"Toby!"

I grabbed his arm.

"Lando wait"

"YN, don't"

"Lando"

I cupped his face.

"Hey, he is a kid. He is too young to understand. Let me talk to him"

"Don't get mixed, YN, please"

I took a deep breath. I usually let him solve these problems. But I hadn't seen him so angry with Toby yet and he would leave in a couple of hours. He couldn't have a fight now and then fly away to a triple header. I knew him and he would regret it.

"Lando, you are too angry right now. You need to calm down. Take a deep breath, relax a bit and I will talk to him meanwhile"

"YN..."

"He wants you to stay for a bit longer. So do I. I understand what he is feeling. Let me talk to him, please. I'm sure he is under the tree sitting with Cinni with that frown only you two can put"

He looked into my eyes for a few seconds and then hugged me.

"You don't want to go and argue with him, I know both of you well."

"Okay..."He said pulling a part.

"Go and wash your face, okay. Deep breaths." I kissed his lips and then we walked in opposite directions.

I found Toby exactly where I thought he was, under the tree. He was crying and had hidden his head between his legs. Cinnamon, as his guardian sit next to him.

"Tob?" I walked slowly, not wanting to scare him. "Tob, honey. Can I sit with you?"

He nodded and I did so.

I sat next to the kid and sighed. The poor boy was sobbing.

"Do you want me to hug you?"

Toby nodded and curled into my side when I enveloped him with my arms.

"Dad is angry at me"

"He was just a bit angry, but I already talked to him." I caressed his hair. "I don't want him to go either. I'm going to miss him a lot"

"He always leaves"

That broke my heart. He was so young.

"I know, Tob. But he loves racing and we love watching him racing, right?"

"I want him to stay at home"

"I do too, honey" I took a deep breath. I knew Lando was looking through the window, I could see his shadow. "I miss dad a lot too and it's okay to feel sad when he leaves. But Dad loves racing, he has so much fun when he is driving his car. It makes him so happy"

"I like when Dad is happy"

I smiled. Toby finally looked at me. I helped him dry his tears.

"I like when Dad is happy too. That's why I let him go to race because it makes him so happy. Even though it makes me a bit sad I always think of how much fun he is having and how much he loves it"

"He is sad when he leaves?"

I nodded.

"He is, but he knows that we see the races from here and we cheer a lot for him"

"With grandpa"

"Mhm."

"I didn't want to make him angry. I just wanted him to stay"

"I know. But he has to take a plane pretty soon"

His lip trembled a bit and he looked at me through his tears.

"Hey, we have to be happy, okay? Dad wants to remember us smiling, not crying. We will call him every day and see the races and everything."

He nodded.

"You want to go and tell dad how sorry you are?"

"Yes"

"Okay, but first. Promise me something, Toby"

He nodded and took my hand, intertwining our pinkies.

"Next time you feel sad because dad is leaving, come and talk to me instead of doing that. I can help you to feel better. We don't want him to be angry when he leaves."

"Pinky promise"

We both got up and he made grabby hands, so I took him in my arms.

We went together to Lando and I's bedroom. He was redoing his luggage and turned around when he heard us coming into the room. Toby was hugging my neck tightly and his forehead was pressed against my temple. I knew that he was probably scared that Lando was still angry at him, but his dad's face was much softer now. His eyes were full of tears and his nose was a bit red.

"Lando, Toby has something to say" I said with a soft voice.

"Yeah?"

I nodded and he walked closer, enveloping both of us with his arms.

"Hey, Tob." I said moving him a bit. "What was that we talked about?"

Toby lift his head and looked at Lando. The kid was crying again and that made Lando's lip tremble.

"I'm so sorry, dad" He sobbed a bit. "I won't do it again. I will talk to YN instead and she will help me feel better"

Lando looked at me at the same time he ran his fingers through his son's locks.

"I know you are sorry, buddy. I'm sorry too." He kissed his forehead and then pulled me for a kiss. I smiled.

Toby hugged his dad's neck and Lando took him in his arms, sitting on the bed with the kid on his lap. They cuddled with each other and it was my turn to cry. A few tears escaped from my eyes.

"I'm going to miss you a lot, dad"

"I'm going to miss you too, Toby"

I wanted to go with them, but the moment felt so intimate that I felt as if I was intruding.

"YN says that racing makes you happy and if you are happy we are happy too, so even though I'm a bit sad because you have to leave, I'm happy because you are going to have so much fun driving" Toby said grabbing his dad's cheeks.

"Thank you very much, Tob" Lando looked at me then. "And thank you very much to you too, come here"

I smiled and walked to them. I sat next to Lando and he hugged my shoulders.

"I love you both a lot and I miss you so much when I'm away. But yes, driving makes me super happy and I love when you call me after the races. And it makes me happy to know that you watch the races together and cheer for me." He said looking mainly at Toby.

I kissed Lando's cheek.

"We love you a lot, too. Right, Tob?"

The kid nodded.

"Now, let's help dad packing" I said tickling him a bit.

"Yes!"

I only needed a call to Adam, Lando's dad, to get the tickets for a flight to the race next race. It was the second in the triple header and the one in the middle, so it seemed the best option for us. Toby was missing Lando, asking when he would come back and how many days were left for race day. On the other hand, Lando was missing Toby too, ending the calls with sad eyes and voice.

"Are we going to see dad now?"

The flight had been easy because Adam and Cisca were with me to take care of Toby. But the moment we put a foot outside the hotel, the kid had grabbed my hand and hadn't let me go.

"Yes. Jon is waiting for us"

Cisca was grabbing his other hand and had a huge smile.

"How happy are you to be here, Toby?"

"I'm so happy. I'm going to see dad racing"

When we reached the garage, Jon told us that Lando was in an engineering meeting, so we waited for him. And the moment he came through the door, Toby ran to him, taking Lando by surprise.

They hugged, Lando lifting the kid in the air and both of them laughing.

We had the best weekend ever. Toby was so excited and Lando exuded happiness. He spend each second of his free time with us, showing us how everything worked, the car, the paddock, the pitlane. Everything.

Toby spent the whole race sitting on my lap and talking with Adam, sitting next to me.

There were people curious about the little kid who looked exactly like Lando Norris, some people from the team who didn't know Toby yet. He would always answer with: I'm Toby Norris and Lando Norris is my dad. She is YN and she is my dad's girlfriend, we are best friends and she is super nice. Which didn't fail to make me laugh and smile each time.

When we were leaving after a very good race with a P5 for Lando, I was walking ahead with Cisca, talking about random things. Suddenly I felt a tiny hand in mine and looked down.

"YN, stop"

I frowned and stopped, looking for Lando with my eyes. He was a few meters away from us with his dad and Jon.

"My dad told me to show you this and tell you that he loves you a lot. And that you are super nice to me and he is super happy to have found you. And to ask you if you want to marry him. But I don't know what marry is"

I looked at Toby's hands, where a velvet box waited opened with a ring inside. My heart was beating fast and my hands were shaking. I looked at Lando, who was coming closer with slow steps.

"Lando..."

"I think you are the perfect person for me, you are who I want to share my life with and the person I want in Toby's life. I think I can't find anyone better than you. I... I'm so bad with speaches." We both laughed and he took my hand. I had tears in my eyes and couldn't stop smiling. "We don't have to do it know, we can wait. But... YN, will you marry me?"

"Yes. Yes Lando."

I heard Cisca laughing happily as I kissed and hugged Lando.

I couldn't be happier. I kissed Lando's cheeks a thousand times and then his lips. He looked into my eyes for a second and whispered.

"Thank you for being so good to us"

"I could not be, you both had something" I caressed his cheeks.

"Dad! The ring!"

"Oh yes" Lando gestured me to crouch down next to Toby, doing it too.

The kid took the ring with so much care and put it on the finger Lando told him. Then, he hugged me with so much force that we almost fall. Everyone laughed happily.

"I love you so much, YN"

"I love you so much too, Tob"

Lando kissed both of our heads and then it was turn for his parents and Jon to congratulate us.

As we were walking out of the paddock, Toby in Lando's arms and my hand around Lando's waist, I felt a happiness I had never felt before. I had found someone who understood me and loved me no matter what I wanted for my life. Plus, that someone came with a mini version of himself who was the most adorable thing in the world and made my days better.

"Lando"

"Tell me"

"I love you a lot. Both of you. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life."

"I couldn't ask for someone better"

#lando norris #Ln #Fluff #Fic #F1 fic #dad!driver

[chrollohearttags]

Yk I don't think anyone has ever mentioned anything about Carla's parents and they only show up for like ten seconds in the anime. They'd probably be pretty good grandparents. Can picture young Eren complaining to grandma whenever his mom doesn't let him do something fun or get him a new toy. Part of the reason he and Zeke are such units is because of her cooking.

no no I second this!! So he’s definitely a spoiled brat because of his grandma 😭 if Carla even thinks about telling him no, he on the phone with her mama, SNITCHING! “Grandma, mom said I can’t get the new power rangers toy. Will you get it for me? I mean crying, farting and snotting until he gets his way and of course, she feels bad and brings it to her baby. Meanwhile, poor Carla is in the middle of cooking dinner when she hears the phone ringing, answers it only to hear her mom getting all fussy. “Why didn’t you buy that boy what he wanted? You’re too harsh on him.” And mind you, he done failed two tests, been in time out twice this week and hasn’t cleaned his room. Just rotten 😭 and it only gets worse when he’s a teenager because of that slick ass mouth. “Granny, your daughter is so mean. She won’t even let me go out with my friends. I know you done the best you could with her but she’s something else.” And as far as she’s concerned. Zeke is her baby too. (I personally headcanon miss Carla as Italian) so I just imagine her Sicilian parents making THE best pasta and cooking like they’re trying to feed an army of five hundred. And best believe, their big asses are over at granny’s house every Sunday, putting it down. Eating like they’ve been starved for a week. Got plates stacked to the ceiling between the two of them. Granddad on the other hand? Got them boys outside working for their keep. Cutting grass, help him fix cars, cleaning windows…but he pays them hella good so they don’t mind!

#cherry’s asks 🍒 #nonnie #eren headcanons #zeke yeager #aot headcanons #carla jaeger #no because they would really spoil him to death

[medusapelagia]

Sorrow

I just came back from the cemetery, which is a thing that makes me very emotional so… here it is a VERY SAD and VERY UNHAPPY little Harringrove ficlet. Did I stress enough that it's sad? WT: grief, sorrow, Major Character Death, unhappy ending

Sorrow is like a stain on your Sunday dress. You try to hide it, but you are conscious that at the first wrong movement, it will show and everyone will know that you are stained, permanently. That’s how Steve feels every time he sees Max. “Are you coming?” she asks, drinking her milkshake “Everyone else will come. Even my mum.” They have this little tradition: on the fourth of July, when everyone else is celebrating, they go to the cemetery and sit in front of Billy’s tombstone. Steve has never attended this little sad get-together. The last time he visited Billy’s tomb it was on the day of his funeral, when Neil Hargrove spat at his feet telling him that he was persona non grata. He is not even sad about that because, for the first time, Steve saw a new kind of emotion on Neil’s face: under the rage, there was grief, maybe even despair. “Billy would have liked that.” Max continues. That’s another thing that Steve can’t actually do: think about Billy in the past tense. Every time he hears something like that another crack opens in his soul. Steve doesn’t even know what Max is referring to, but the sentence is enough to reopen the unhealed wound. “I’ll drive you if you need it.” That’s all he can promise. Max shakes her head, she has cut her hair short, like Robin’s “No, it’s fine. Mum will drive me.”

***

Christmas is the period of the year when Steve misses Billy the most. He still turns to make some comment about the worst decorated houses, but Billy is not here with him, mocking his rich neighbors. He is not asking him every single day what he wants as a Christmas present and he is not responding to Steve that he is the best Christmas present he could ever ask for. He is not even planning on renting a red Santa Claus suit to use during a stupid sexual role-play. Steve’s house is big and cold and he misses his California’s sun every single day.

***

People say that you have to face your fears, but they say nothing about your sorrows. Many years have passed since that awful day in which half of the citizens of Hawkins died, and still, Steve has not come to visit Billy’s tomb. He doesn’t even know if it’s still there. Neil Hargrove left town soon after the funeral and Steve is not sure if Susan took care of it in the past years. Maybe he should have asked Max, but now it’s too late. He enters the cemetery. They are so different from the ones where his grandparents lie, in Italy. There, the cemeteries look more like museums. There are statues of crying angels and little chapels with the family name. Here, every tombstone looks like the other and he doesn’t even know if he will be able to find Billy’s without guidance. It’s a stupid idea, he should go back where he came from, forgetting for another couple of years that Billy is not living his best life somewhere exotic but is lying in the cold ground, killed by a monster, cut down in his prime. Still. There is something that it’s calling him. Something he tried to ignore for years and that know feels inevitable. It all started with a little model of a blue car, the same car that burns in his pocket. A little Camaro with the very same blue shade as Billy’s. “He would have liked it.” Max told him when she had seen it, and Steve bought it, on impulse, and he has tortured himself for weeks since that moment, looking every day at the little model in his drawer until he finally decided to come. He turns to the right and there it is, Billy’s grave. There is some moss on the northern side of the tombstone, but it’s exactly as he remembered it. He sits down with his back against the cold marble. “Hi, Billy.” he says “I’m sorry if I didn’t come before to visit. I… I didn’t know how to say goodbye. I was never good at this kind of thing, you know that.” Steve has a lump in his throat “I… I brought you something.” he continues, taking the little car from his pocket “It’s just like yours. Max said… she said…” He tries and tries but words will not come out. His sorrow, his stain, is showing and he can’t hide it anymore behind a fake smile. “I miss you. I miss you every single day, and I’m so so sorry if I didn’t come before or if I tried my best not to think about you. It’s not… It’s not that I don’t care about you anymore. It’s that I care too much.” He wipes his eyes and gets up. “Happy birthday Billy,” he whispers. His shoulders are still heavy and his sorrow is still hunting him, but at least, here, where no one is looking, he can cry.

#harringrove #very sad fic #my fanfic #sorrow #grief #steve harrington #billy hargrove #wt major character death

[polikuro]

I don't post much, mostly because no one's following me here but I just need to get some things off my chest.

Seb has been a part of my life for the past 15 years. A very huge part to be honest. I still remember being all grumpy when we had to leave for my grandparents on race day. I said no to so many plans that were happening on sundays just because I didn't want to miss a race.

I remember his first win like it was yesterday. The biggest fucking smile on my face all day. I was talking about him all the time. My parents and friends couldn't have cared less but he brought me joy.

And then Abu Dhabi 2010 came and I cried like a baby. I don't think I've felt these emotions before him. Pure bliss and pride most of all. Then everything that followed during his red bull years. His pace was out of this world.

2014 which was hard and then the move yo Ferrari. His fucking dream team ! The hope I felt that he would be able to win a championship again. The hard times that followed. Hockenheim, then the downfall at Ferrari where I felt like he wasn't appreciated enough.

And then the past years with Aston which weren't what we hoped for but he kept fighting. And ever since he announced his retirement, 3 days after I saw him at le Castellet might I add, he's just been driving incredibly ! He's doing it for himself and for all of us. One last time.

I'm hopeful Abu Dhabi will be a great race for him because I'd be sad to see him go on a bad race after what he's done this year. But no matter what, he gave it his all.

I'll miss him. Damn, I'll miss him like crazy. I won't have to say no anymore. Won't have to wake up at 5 in the morning to watch practice or the race. Won't be so fucking damn stressed during the start. Won't have to get mad at the strategist or other drivers that ruin his race. But I also won't be able to enjoy the good times. I won't get that rush of adrenaline every time he passes a car brilliantly. I won't smile like a mad girl when he gets on a podium or wins a race.

But you know what I'll miss the most ? The man himself. The way he speaks, the way he stands up for what he believes in. The hard worker that stays with his mechanics till late in the evening. I'll miss his helmets and his damn oversized T-shirts stating the obvious. I'll miss his laugh and his goofiness. I'll miss his relationships, with Mick, with Lewis, with Charles. Even his relationship with Christian and Helmut. I'll miss his stupid jokes on the radio and his awful singing. I'll miss his eyes crinkling when he's being cheeky and his huge smile. I'll miss all of it.

Just like Michael was his hero, he is mine and I'll forever be grateful I got to see him win four titles, 53 (54!) race wins and everything he achieved.

I'm already way too emotional and the weekend hasn't even started yet. I'll probably cry a lot but I know we'll get to see him again. At the race of champions, maybe at Le Mans one day.

But for now, he gets to enjoy his family, his mountains, his chicken. I'll miss you dearly my darling Seb. Take care of yourself.

#Sebastian Vettel #Seb #Vettel #Thank you my hero #F1 #Saying goodbye is hard #I've know this was coming but damn

[renee-writer]

I MISS… so very many things. I miss Sunday dinners after church at my grandparents house, I miss sleeping with the windows open and a box fan humming me to sleep. I miss sunny saturdays spent lakeside watching a bobber for hours as I dreamt of catching big Bertha. I miss rough housing in the back yard with my cousins. I miss the crackle of a stereo as the needle drops on my favorite record. I miss just having to choose between three channels. I miss swinging from the rope into the river. I miss going to work with daddy when school was out. I miss school starting after Labor Day. I miss teachers actually teaching rather than implementing social agendas. I miss school bus scuffles when we both got a paddling and life went on. I miss failing report cards that meant I was gonna be grounded, whooped and have to work harder. I miss tough skin blue jeans. I miss when folks were ashamed of their sinful lifestyles. I miss common sense. I miss when people actually went to work every day of the week and were embarrassed to be lazy. I miss supper around the table every evening. I miss kids actually doing chores. I miss Wednesday night testimony services. I miss community clubhouse meetings with potluck meals. I miss clean shaven cops. I miss when we used fists to settle disputes and guns to stock our freezer. I miss building and working on my own bicycle, dirt bike etc. I miss the innocence of not knowing everything that’s going on in the world. I miss a fair justice system. I miss when it was embarrassing to be unemployed. I miss the America I grew up in.

I know I’ve left out a lot, and I also know I’m not alone. Leave a comment telling me some things you miss. Let’s see how nostalgic we are for the things of the past

Written by my son 's father-in-law, Matt Meeks.

#from facebook #nostalgia #other people's writing

[neednothavehappenedtobetrue]

I want to be a person who isn't routinely incapacitated by outsized emotions. most of the therapists I've had have said I just have a lot of empathy. I feel like i would be more useful and productive as a person if I didn't.

(under the cut I meander around about my family a lot)

when I was in high school I took an elective called Global Conflicts In The Modern World. we watched a lot of documentaries and I had to sit in the hall during 90% of them after the first one where I had a panic attack because these terrible things were happening to real humans somewhere in the world. I could read about it, but something about the videos took me out at the knees.

the thing is, my panic attack was not helpful to anybody. I was not making any of those people's lives and situations better by being unable to bear looking at them head-on.

I sometimes think being this way is a character flaw. like, we have an obligation to bear witness, right? do we? I can't do it. I can't bear witness. it incapacitates me.

I'm now going to meander from the subject of real tragedy to the whole thing with my grandfather again. sorry.

my dad's logic points weren't totally wrong. he wants to die. as a child I was closer to my grandmother than to him. he's hard to talk to. he wasn't always nice.

but, like--- I don't think the people he hurt (my mother, who is not sad at all or at least projecting the appearance of not being sad at all) are obligated to be sad about him dying. that's not my point.

but also, I think everyone should be grieved for when they're dying. he was a curmudgeon and sometimes an asshole and he loved me. that's the last thing he said to me, I said "I love you," as we were leaving and he took my hand and said "I love you too, little girl."

I call a bunch of my relatives every Sunday. my paternal grandmother used to do it but then she died and then I started doing it. I want to keep in touch with people, especially my brother and some of my aunts. and I called my grandparents every week. my grandmother used to talk to me and then she stopped being able to use a phone because of the dementia. so I would talk to him for five minutes a week.

sometimes he'd talk about wanting to die. sometimes he'd talk about something he remembered-- the cats he had when he was a child, or something he used to do for work, taking the train to work. little stories. he could never talk for very long, but we'd say "I love you" and he'd always say "keep calling, little girl, keep calling." I think he liked having someone to talk to for a few minutes.

how am I supposed to look at this weird, curmudgeonly, sometimes mean man who loved me and not be sad that he's dying? my mom doesn't have to be but she facilitated a relationship between me and then when I was little and now he's my grandpop who I love because of course I do. dad acts like there's nothing to grieve. I can't talk to mom about it, that wouldn't be fair to her.

when my other two grandparents died, everybody was sad and nobody treated me like a space alien for being sad. it was still impossible. the priest at my grandfather's wake talked about how it was a good time to assess your life and get right with God. he talked about going to hell and I lost my mind and sobbed in the lobby. I missed my grandmother's actual funeral because I threw up so bad I had to go to the hospital, story of my life, but I went to her wake and sat with my great-uncle, the cool one who shut down my parents' ableist nonsense when I was a kid*. and I was in the living room when everyone got together to look at pictures and talk about her. I did not feel like I was on the moon with my grief.

*lets end this on a positive note. one time while we were in Ireland with my cool great-uncle I was having trouble cutting up some chicken or whatever and my mom started in on the "what are you going to do on a date with a boy if you can't cut your food with a knife and fork?"

this is a thing she did that genuinely fucked me up later, actually.

anyway, my uncle said "she'll order the spaghetti!" and I carry that with me forever, both as an actual strategy and a reminder of the fact that some of my relatives are cool, actually. it's possible to love me without wanting to fix me.

[purpleyearning]

Some random positivity; Now that my grandmother lives in town, my mom and I (and sometimes my brother) visit her every Saturday after work. About two years before my grandfather died, my mom managed to gather some money to work on our house. We're not very handy, so my Grandpa would come over with my grandma every Saturday and work on it then we'd all order pizza and wings.

When I got my job, he left work at the same time I did and worked in my town so he'd pick me up and take me home. Since I was now working Saturdays, we began going over to his and my grandmas house every Sunday and getting pizza.

I've always been close to my grandparents, but I was now seeing them nearly every weekend. It's like some divine being knew he would get sick, saw how much we loved and adored him, and put together a sequence of events that would allow us so much more time with him. I miss him everyday and no time with him could ever be enough, but I am eternally grateful those two years of seeing him and it makes me value the time Saturdays I spend with my grandmother even more.

He was everything to me and my family, and those memories are everything to us now that he's gone. Since youngest my brother could talk and count, he has ranked his favorite people as grampy, grammy, and then mommy. Mine has always been mommy, grammy, and grampy. He and grandma are the top two people of every single one of their grandkids and great grandkids. My mom and her sister are not biologically his, his family has always treated them differently than they treated their brother who was his, but he never treated them any differently. He was the best most supportive grandfather and father.

And if the immense love a family can have for just one man is not wholesome enough, here is the last conversation we ever had before he died;

#wholesome posts #grandparents #plz love ur grandparents #type: textpost #storytime #tw: death #tw: loss #tw: cancer

[shadowqueen402]

Aria's (Un)Happy Childhood (A Prim And Proper Problems fic)

This is similar to the small fic 'We Meet Again' that I made back in 2022. Except, this is what Aria had experienced growing up. This is based off of the popular Prim And Proper Problems fic by @kayssweetdreams.

Every child deserves a chance to be happy, regardless of what life tends to throw at them. Some children do get the priviledge to have a happy childhood. Others, not so much.

And in Aria's case? Her once happy childhood turned into a living nightmare before she even realized it.

The four-year-old girl thought that everything in her life was perfect. After all, she had two wonderful parents, amazing aunts and uncles, awesome cousins, and the most loving grandparents that anyone could ask for.

But she was bound to learn the horrible secret that her parents were hiding from her one day.

It all started one night when the little brown-haired girl was getting ready for bed. As soon as she entered into her bedroom, that was when she heard her parents talking with each other. Her mother sounded frightened while her father sounded…angered. Aria was confused but quietly listened to their conversation.

"Another love note!?" Roy exclaimed, angered. "When will this woman take the hint that I am not interested!?"

"What if she finds us, Roy?" Esme asked, panicking. "What if she sees our daughter?"

"That woman will not touch our daughter, Mo leannan," Roy firmly assured Esme. "And in the event that she does find us, we'll have to..make a difficult choice. We'll have to move."

"I see." Esme nodded. She knew why it would be a difficult choice. Because it would mean having to separate from the rest of the family. And she knew that Aria loved spending every Sunday with them.

"It is getting rather late." Roy's tone was now calm. "I'll go tuck our daughter in." He then went upstairs to where Aria's room was and went inside. Aria was sitting on her bed, hugging her bunny plushie.

"Daddy, what's going on with you and Mummy?" Aria asked.

"Nothing's going on between us, Brèagha," Roy replied. "Your mother saw something terrifying and I reacted angrily to it. Sorry if I scared you."

"What did you see?" Aria lied in her bed as Roy pulled the covers over her.

"I promise to tell you when you're old enough, Aria." Roy planted a kiss on her forehead. "Goodnight, Brèagha." Then, he turned off the lights and left the room.

Eight years later, Roy had to be deployed to Afghanistan. This was to be expected as being a marine required him to go to a different country. So currently, it was just Aria and her mother at the time.

Aria sighed as she sat on the one of the benches of her middle school's yard. She missed her father terribly and wondered when he would be coming home. Aria recalled how, during those eight years, Roy still wouldn't tell her what he was so angry about. And this made Aria even more confused.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a strange woman standing by the school who appeared to be in her mid thirties. This woman had platinum-blonde hair that was tied into a tight bun, fair skin, and piercing violet eyes that would glare into the soul of anyone she looked at.

And her outfit? It was a long-sleeved black dress that resembled the ones that women that were in the upper class would wear back in the day. She wasn't sure why, but there was something about that woman that didn't seem right.

Fortunately, the woman didn't notice Aria was staring at her. She was rather more busy with talking onto her phone with someone. Her lips were curled into sickeningly sweet smile. "What's that? He's over in Afghanistan?" She said on the phone. "Aww, that's too bad. My offer still stands… What!? He has a daughter!? Hmm… Perhaps, she won't be as much trouble as her mother…"

Aria felt her heart pounding in her chest. She needed to tell her mother about this now. But how would her mother react?

A couple months later, Aria turned thirteen. And it was on the same day that Roy returned home. "Welcome home, a shèoid!" Esme greeted her husband.

"Father!" Aria cried, running up to Roy and hugging him. Roy smiled and hugged his family back. But the happy moment was ruined when loud knocking was heard at the door. Confused, Esme walked over and opened the door.

To Aria's shock, it was that same woman that she saw. "Primrose? What are you doing here?" Esme asked. So that was what that woman's name was…

"Out of my way, peasant," Primrose spat. "I need to speak to Roy!" Her tone was haughty and cruel. Aria frowned at this. Why was this Primrose woman mean to her mother?

"What do you want now, Primrose?" Roy asked.

"What, no "Hello" for me?" Primrose asked in a fake-hurt tone as she flashed a smile at him. "I've been doing well on my own. I'm the headmistress of my own school and I'm handing out flyers to everyone in Scotland."

"You have a school?" Roy asked, frowning. His brows furrowed in confusion.

"Yes." Primrose gave one of the flyers to Roy. "I call it PPP, short for Prim, Proper, and Perfection. A boarding school for girls that are EAGER to be perfect young ladies."

Aria made the mistake of peeking out from behind Roy. Because Primrose saw the young girl, peeking out. "Oh! And who is this young lady?" The woman nodded at Aria.

"This is my daughter, Aria," Roy asked, now sensing the red flags. "Why do you want to know?"

"I think she'll make an excellent fit in PPP," Primrose said. "If she fits my standards, she'll become the president of the student council that happens there. Don't you want your little girl to be that perfect and that successful?"

"Primrose, our daughter is already perfect to us," Esme said. "And we're already helping her choose a high school that she would enjoy going to."

"Nonsense!" Primrose barked. She then shoved a thick envelope into Roy's hands. "In this envelope is $900,000 in cash. If you accept it, I'll assure you that your daughter will be well taken care of in PPP."

"You're going to bribe us with money to send our daughter to a place that we don't know about!?" Roy was now angered at this. "We made up our minds! Aria is not going to your school! Now leave and we better not see you anywhere near her!"

Primrose huffed at this before storming out of the house, slamming the door shut. This made Aria jump in fear. "Mother? Father? Who was that woman?" She asked.

"Some woman that your father and I…don't really like," Esme said. "We don't want you talking to her, Aria. If you see her outside and we're not home, immediately get inside and lock the door. If she knocks, do not open it at all costs. You wait until we get home, okay?"

This scared Aria a lot more than what had happened earlier, but she always listened to her parents. So she nodded, making her parents sigh in relief.

Unfortunately for the Montgomerys, it wasn't over until Primrose said it was.

I don't own Madame Prim.

Roy, Esme, and Aria belong to me.

#balan wonderworld #fanfic #ocs

[shadowredfeline]

Two in One Post

For my P-Pal's On This Day Post

It's really sad to remember after someone passed on. Jason's Grandmother and Spot's Grandparents. This does happen the same thing with me with my Grandmother and my Aunt. Because my Grandmother died in 2019 due to heart failure, and my Aunt died last year due to her being Sick. And I thought Natural Causes is kinda the same as being sick. She even let me have her cold before she passed on. The last time I even saw her was when she came to bring something to my mom. And that's the last time I ever saw my Aunt. It's just really sad that I missed both my Grandmother and my Aunt, because I do a lot of fun things with them. And the same as after I go to Church, I always hangout with my Uncle and my Aunt every Sunday. But with my Grandmother, we do love going shopping together, and that's what my Aunt loved doing as well. But since now my Uncle either has the house all to himself or he has a Roommate, things are a lot different for him since he is a very busy Uncle.

Shadow R 😺🗡️: mmhmm. And since my grandmother and my Aunt passed on, I'm sure Spot and I can spend some time together with our beloved family members passed on. And also, November 1st is All Saints Day, so I'm sure Spot and I can do something we can do together.

Mmhmm, and let's move on to my P-Pal's Inktober.

Looks really cool. I bet if Chowder made some kind of Devil Cake is like what Billy did with the Brownies by using Evil Powder to Rose the zombies from their grave. Except Grim did love the Brownies made of Evil Powder, but I like the episode, Brown Evil. But if Chowder and Panini are in a Zombie Apocalypse, Panini can be the one killing the Zombies, along with Gumball, Mandark and Mojo Jojo for Shadows of Evil from Black Ops 3.

And I love episodes where it involves Zombies since it is a good idea to make a cartoon out of. I like seeing it happen in Billy and Mandy, like it there and I also like it happened in SpongeBob. That's why those kinds of episodes are really good. I would imagine having Paul, Scottie and Bonn killing Zombies and having Luna Sapphire as a running zombie.

[quinlankellyy]

ʙꜱᴄᴏ.ᴛᴀꜱᴋ002 //

Quinlan’s endless inspiration from his grandparents has trickled into his music taste. Big Bands and classic sounds that belong through a gramophone and record player is where he experiences nostalgia, joy and emotions he otherwise hides well from others seeing.

Frank Sinatra - My Way   

I planned each charted course Each careful step along the byway And more, much, much more I did it, I did it my way

My Way has many memories attached, from hearing his grandfather sing it as Quinlan was growing up to it being referenced as a motto in regards to business. It became a Kelly’s anthem of sorts, their voices singing into the dark night with drinks in hand and most of all pride.

The Pogues - Fairytale of New York

When the band finished playing They howled out for more Sinatra was swinging All the drunks they were singing We kissed on a corner Then danced through the night

Quinlan’s favourite Christmas song is blacklisted for obvious reasons but he still sings it a the top of his lungs in his own home. He has many memories of his family singing along, glasses in the air and swinging in time.

Vera Lynn - We’ll Meet Again

We'll meet again Don't know where Don't know when But I know we'll meet again some sunny day

Quinlan will never play this song purposely but when it plays you will notice his quietness, his attention to the words and a serious expression upon his face. This song has been played at many funerals of family and close friends.

Doris Day - Dream a Little Dream of Me

Birds singing in the sycamore tree Dream a little dream of me Say nighty night and kiss me Just hold me tight and tell me you miss me.

Doris Day is a musical wonder that Quinlan will always listen to when he has the chance. In many ways, his beautiful grandmother looked very similar with perfectly styled blond hair and a glamourous air to her. This song in particular fills Quinlan of memories of the brilliant woman, especially when she would sing it before he went to sleep as a child.

Dean Martin - Ain’t That a Kick in the Head

Like the fella once said, “Ain't love like a kick in the head?” Like the sailor said, quote, "Ain't that a hole in the boat?"

This song has been a big reminder for Quinlan that set backs happen and to keep going. The fact it’s a love song hasn’t ever been the reason why he likes it so much. He sees it as a song about perseverance. 

Bobby Darin - Somewhere Beyond the Sea

It's far beyond the stars It's near beyond the moon I know beyond a doubt My heart will lead me there soon

Another love song that Quinlan takes no notice of it’s literal meaning. ‘She’ in this song references Ireland, a place Quinlan feels in his bones as home just like New York. He always plays this when he’s missing rainy Dublin and always pours an Irish whiskey to toast his roots.

Dion - The Wanderer 

Oh well I roam from town to town I go through life without a care 'Til I'm as happy as a clown With my two fists of iron and I'm going nowhere

While the lyrics do not speak to Quinlan, it has been sung at many birthdays and private family events. He remembers a particular chaotic evening that this song was playing while they were raided. 

Perry Como - As Time Goes By

It's still the same old story, a fight for love an' glory, A case of do or die, the world will always welcome lovers, As time goes by...

One of Quinlan’s personal favorites that take him right back to being a boy with his grandparents. He has fond memories of seeing them slowdance with one another. Although, there is a darker memory attached which has left Quinlan avoiding this song for most of his adulthood. His grandmother sung it at his grandfather’s funeral.

Etta James - Sunday Kind of Love

I do my Sunday dreaming, oh, yeah And all my Sunday scheming Every minute, every hour, every day

Quinlan is very vocal about his love for Etta James but Sunday Kind of Love is his personal favourite. The song is about a lasting relationship which is something Quinlan prefers over fleeting or casual affairs. He comes from a long line of men and women who have never been divorced or had marital problems, and that has been something he wishes for himself.

The Penguins - Earth Angel

Earth angel, Earth angel, the one I adore Love you for ever, and ever more. I'm just a fool, a fool in love with you.

Despite being a love song, this song was actually dedicated to the German Sherpard that Quinlan had growing up named Angel. In fact, most of the Kelly’s would sing this song to the pooch as a puppy and a fully grown canine that was trained to kill.

#bsco.task002 #// Whew I did a lot of muse searching here. I hope people enjoy

[heartshapedcaskett]

My beautiful, beautiful Carolina finally. My great grandparents were from South Carolina. Grandma grew up on a cotton and tobacco farm in lower North Carolina. Great grandma had a record published in Tennessee. Memories of Wasted Love.

I just adore my grandma in her plaid pants and her sailor collar. Grandma and Great Aunt Ronnie were always little rebels. Granddaughters of the reverend who just wanted to have fun. Grandma never got to go to prom, she never saw Elvis with Aunt Ronnie. They were suppose to in 77’. I think of all the missed opportunities my grandma had growing up in rural poverty, educational hurdles, and generational trauma. I miss Sunday morning. She use to squeeze my hand when we prayed in the pews. Her favorite gospel song was Amazing Grace. I finally listened to that song for the first time in months since she passed. She was God-fearing, packed a pistol, and wore pink lipstick with every outfit.

Patricia (my grandma) and beautiful Ronnie

My handsome grandpa <3

#diary #seeing great aunt Ronnie this Sunday for the first time since October #I miss my grandma a lot #next month is a year #October 20th #I went ahead and took the day off because I don’t think I can handle it

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

Sunday

So before my writer’s block cracked open in August, someone I believed was my friend sent me this writing prompt that actually did produce some quality writing in about 20 minutes. She sent it to me right before Mother’s Day, which is historically a hard day for me to deal with because of my relationship with my mom. I posted it on Mother’s Day, and I maybe reblogged it once. And today is Sunday, and the prompt is for Sundays, and I wanted a trusted friend or two who I don’t think saw this before to see it here, and I wanted to add onto it. I know I’m posting a lot here and I’m not sure who if anyone is looking at it, but the words are helping me. So I’m going to keep doing it. Anyway, this was the prompt:

Here’s what I wrote:

Sunday

My mother always prioritized convenience over connection. When I was a little girl, Mom never minded the twenty minute drive to the river to drop me off with my grandparents daily, because they provided free childcare for me when she worked. It was convenient. I set up camp at Gramma and Granda’s; that’s really where home was, even though the address listed on my school and medical records said Not Their House. Once Gramma died, and I was closer to twelve than eleven, and Mom felt confident I could handle myself alone without getting her outwardly accused of being a negligent mother, all of my connections became her inconvenience. Pull her out of the school district she’s grown up in and move her into the closer, more convenient one. Who cares if she doesn’t have any friends? Who cares about her missed connections? Who needs connections when you have convenience? Geographic closeness will always conquer emotional closeness on Mom’s list of what’s important. I started living for Sunday. The same twenty minute drive once a week to visit Granda, one of exactly two people I felt lovingly connected to, and the only one still living, became a chore. My connection didn’t matter, only her perceived inconvenience did, but I still got to have it on Sunday. I still got to go to the little river town church where my favorite aunt and uncle and cousins all went; I still got to watch baseball on cable with Granda in his little retirement home apartment. He sold the house and split the money four ways; twenty-five percent to Mom and Dad. He didn’t want the money and he didn’t want to live there anymore without her; there were too many stacked years of memories; too much connection from which he couldn’t escape the heavy loss. He didn’t want to live anywhere without her, really; he didn’t want to live without her. Period. Granda started regularly asking God to take him so he could be with His Doe and not in this little apartment where he lived only for Sunday and the scraps of connection he used to feast on every day. Mom called him a drag. She echoed his wish that God would just take him as often as he made it, but she didn’t want him to regain his treasured connection, she just wanted to pile up more of her own convenience. She hoarded convenience like a dragon hoards gold, and regardless of how much she felt was stolen from her or who she felt took it away, that was the loss she felt. Mom despised Sunday. Sunday took more than just a stray coin or two from her abundance of convenience; and my connection to Granda; to the river town; to the rest of my family; never adequately compensated her for her deficit. It grew every week; my debt for insisting on the connection grew with interest each Sunday, but I let it grow until Granda died too. He finally got to reconnect. At least I hope that’s what happened with him and Gramma; they’re together now, somewhere, everyday, connected. I’m not sure about it though. I don’t go to any church on Sunday anymore. I don’t even make a twenty minute drive. But I’m home and always connected.

I should have subtitled this post Connection and Convenience.

I’m posting this again here because I’m feeling the same dismissal and disregarding of my connections from the person who sent me this prompt originally that I have always felt from my mom. She’s like oddly echoed my mom on so many levels for me in the past two weeks of sitting in fairly extreme social anxiety. Like an echo, it’s not exactly the same as the original sound, but it’s close enough to be recognizable. I thought we were connected. Because of my past with my mom, I’ve been unfortunately set up to believe that anyone who willingly spends time with me and/or talks to me where I get to say things too must love me. But almost always, they’re using me. And this person definitely was. I was convenient company, not a real connection. As soon as I became inconvenient, I wasn’t connected anymore. I try my best to not ever operate like that. I certainly never intend to treat other people like they are just a convenience to me, and I try to convey that I am willing to deal with a fair amount of inconvenience for a real connection. What I give is always real. It comes from a genuine, sincere place. But sometimes things in my own life come to the surface, like serious anxiety and trauma triggers...like practical impediments like sickness and travel and family emergency...like whatever. And I know those things happen in other people’s lives too, so I try to never be inconvenient whenever I possibly can. I know people have families and other friendships and careers and health conditions and their own trauma that makes it difficult sometimes to connect with me in convenient ways, and I try my best to be alright with that. So when someone else treats me cavalierly...makes it very clear that although I am willing to wade through some inconvenience for them, they aren’t willing to feel a drop of it from me...ever...regardless of what the inconvenience is...it hurts a lot. It hurts because it always takes me back to my mom. It triggers most of my anxiety and trauma and self-esteem damage triggers. So that’s where I’m at this Sunday. There, and I’ve been watching Derry Girls kind of staggered with amazing friends, and Granda Joe really makes me miss my own Granda.

TV show actors ^^^^

Real Life Me with my Gramma and Granda ^^^^^ Whoever reads this? You’re not convenient company for me. I feel like you’re an important connection. I hope you feel that way about me too. <3

#missing my grandparents pretty bad the past month #especially the last two weeks #connection you can be secure inside and certain of is very rare; they were my first real ones #and only real ones for a long time