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katyaromanoffpetrova · 12 days

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Spicy cake

Katya finds a new way to communicate her needs.

• Natasha Romanoff x Fem!OC • Wordcount: 1.4k • Warnings: suggestive talk (this is a given at this point) Do not repost my work as your own or translate my work!! Masterlist

A/N: I owe this whole idea to @nataliasquote <3 ty girl

2028

Listen, Katya in the kitchen wasn't anything new. She cooked dinner three days of the week, and sometimes she liked to bake simple cakes or cookies, the ones from those boxes.

But she'd been in the kitchen, mixing and rummaging, for the past two hours, and Natasha was starting to get confused. No cake or cookie would take that long to make. Not even including prep and baking time.

On top of that, an unfamiliar smell filled up the house. It was cake, but a special kind of cake. Flavored? It had a hint of strawberries.

Now, it could be that Natasha's senses were still confused from the cake tasting they'd done just this morning. Four hours of trying different flavors and textures of cake to decide which one they should serve their wedding guests. Her tongue was still confused.

Initially, she simply wanted to pick a flavor from the menu and tell the bakery to go with it, but Katya had pouted like a little kid who was robbed of going to the candy store. So they went cake tasting. Whatever makes the wife happiest.

Would Clint and Tony make fun of her for agreeing to go with Katya's choice and have a white chocolate cake with raspberry cream? Probably. It screamed, "my wife picked this and I went along with it because I'm a simp for her, and I couldn't care less about the flavor of the cake, and white chocolate is way too sweet for my taste". But Katya left the bakery with the biggest smile on her face, and that's all that mattered.

Blinking the sleep from her mid-day nap from her eyes, Natasha wandered down the stairs, curiously creeping up to the kitchen. The smell was even stronger here, seducing her into following her nose towards the source. She couldn't deny it, it smelled great, her mouth watering despite the abundance of cake currently being processed in her stomach.

"What are you—"

A towel flew through the kitchen. One second, Natasha saw everything, the next, her vision was black. The smell of wet cotton filled her nose, filtering the one of freshly baked cake, much to her disappointment. Katya had thrown the towel with such precision and skill that it covered her face and stayed there, like a makeshift ghost costume.

"Don't look! It's a surprise."

Natasha felt like a complete idiot, standing there in the door opening with that thing on her head, but she didn't fight it. "What are you doing in there?"

"Making a cake for you."

Even blind, she knew what expression her wife was making based on the tone of her voice. Giddy, adorable excitement, the most endearing, bright smile on her face.

Natasha furrowed her brows, her heart swelling. "For me?" It wasn't her birthday, and she didn't accomplish anything exciting lately.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Just because." Katya beamed. There was some clattering, a few silent footsteps on the ground. Natasha sensed her body as it moved around the space.

"How can you even still think about cake after this morning?" She teased lightly.

It was meant to be a joke, one Katya would respond to with something witty or sarcastic, but Natasha's question was met with a pause that was a bit too long instead. Slowly, the smile faded from her lips.

"Should I have made something else?" Katya asked softly.

"No!" Natasha exclaimed in a hurry. She nearly tore the towel off her head to show Katya exactly how soft and grateful her eyes were. Even if she was literally puking from eating too much cake earlier, she'd still thank her wife for being so sweet. "No, baby, I love it."

"Okay." The enthusiasm returned to Katya's voice, to Natasha's great relief. "Give me ten more minutes and I'll be done. Then I'll show you what I've been working on."

"Okay."

Doing a 180-degree turn in her spot, Natasha pulled the towel from her head. Oxygen-rich air filled her lungs as she walked to the living room, plopping on the couch with her phone. She had to fight off a thoughtful frown as she scrolled away and liked some posts on her Katya fan account.

Something in her gut told her that she should be suspicious. Katya baking a cake wasn't weird, but Katya baking a cake after the cake tasting this morning was weird, and Katya hiding said cake was even weirder. Usually, she was happy to indulge her family in their curiosity.

Natasha was knee-deep into another Katya fan account, and just about to zoom in on a bikini picture of her, when Katya's voice rang out.

"You can come back!"

Cautiously, she locked her phone and returned to the kitchen. Katya shielded her masterpiece with her body, a huge grin on her face as she waited for Natasha to be ready. Ready for something mysteriously. Her enthusiasm would be more endearing if Natasha was less suspicious.

"Tada!"

The cake revealed itself when Katya stepped aside. Natasha narrowed her eyes at it, taking a few steps closer to see it better.

Heart-shaped, it was at least ten inches tall and covered in pink buttercream. No fancy decorations, no other colors. Just a pink heart. Simple, classic, sleek

Oh, and two words on top.

'BANG ME'

Natasha just managed to keep her face straight, but it caught her off guard so badly she nearly choked on her own spit. Her heart skipped a few beats as she composed herself, putting on a nonchalant demeanor.

"Okay."

Surprised, Katya perked up. "Okay?"

"Okay. I'll bang you," Natasha said casually, shrugging her shoulders.

Katya's cheeks turned a light shade of pink, her previous confidence faltering because of her wife's casual use of vulgar talk. "Nat."

"Is it not what you wanted?" Natasha asked, slowly backing the brunette up against the counter. "It's a very clear suggestion. Very on the nose."

"You want me on your nose?" Katya feigned stupidity.

"I-" Natasha closed her mouth and shook her head with disappointment, much to Katya's amusement. The woman's blue eyes sparkled with mischief, a sly smile exposing her teeth. It was hard not to roll her eyes at it. "I love your writing," she commented, looking at the cake over Katya's shoulder. It was the worst example of capital block letters ever. Any six-year-old could do it better on paper.

Katya frowned in offense. "Don't shame my writing. It was my first time using a smaller piping bag."

"I can see that."

The frown deepened. "It was between, 'Bang me', and, 'I love your tits'. I went with this one."

"Amazing choice, baby," Natasha said dryly, running her hands from Katya's hips up to her waist, sliding them under her shirt. "I'm honored that you felt a need to declare your love for my boobs on a cake."

"Maybe I can do that next time." Katya abruptly perked up. "Oh! I can make the cake in the shape of actual boobs!" She was so excited about that prospect that she looked ready to make that cake right now.

Natasha chuckled lowly, giving her waist a playful squeeze. "How about you work on some actual, actual boobs right now?"

Katya froze. Her gaze flickered to Natasha's boobs and lingered there, a shimmer of lust mixing into her enthusiasm. "Actually?"

"Actually."

The prospect made her mouth water, yet her joy faltered a bit as she looked back up at Natasha's face. "What about my cake?"

The redhead smirked, pressing Katya further into the kitchen island with her hips. "Oh, I'll eat your cake."

Bonus:

Brooklyn perked up as she followed Maya into the house, kicking her shoes off by the door. "It smells so good in here!"

"My mom must have baked something." Maya smiled, always happy to try one of Katya's masterpieces. Stress-baking has made a good baker out of her.

Without waiting for her girlfriend, Brooklyn hurried into the kitchen, following the aroma that drifted into her nose. She spotted it instantly. "A cake!"

"What ki—" The girls stopped in their tracks, side by side as they read the words once, then twice, then another time to make sure they said what they said.

Slowly, Maya's face turned red. And even Brooklyn, who usually didn't get flustered easily, started to pale. They were both familiar with the Russians' shenanigans, but they hadn't stumbled upon something so embarrassing yet.

"We're never talking about this again," Maya muttered, dragging her girlfriend out of there.

#katandnat #katyaromanoffpetrova #forgotten ghost series #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x fem!oc #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanov #black widow #marvel #mcu #natasha romanoff fluff

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sunsetconcert · 15 days

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In 1994, the Muppets made one of their most bizarre films to date.

An adaptation of Goncharov, a cult classic that languished in obscurity until the 2020s. While the film was referred to internally and in public reviews of the film as "The Muppets of Naples", the actual marketing of the movie instead titled it after its main lead: "Gonzorov". This was one of many enigmatic choices made by the production crew, and has never been elaborated on by the cast or crew. The film was a gigantic flop for multiple reasons, but most agree that the source of the troubles stems from the nature of Goncharov as a tragedy and a generally depressing movie to watch.

Reportedly, conflicts among the writing staff began almost immediately due to being unable to decide on which cut of Goncharov to base the film on. Eventually, however, director Brian Henson put his foot down and forced the writers to adapt the Ambrosini Cut. Generally agreed to be a less depressing movie than the Morelli Cut, it was expected that "Gonzorov" should have been a much more entertaining and narratively adept movie than it was. As the Muppets proved just two years later in "Muppet Treasure Island", they are very capable of handling otherwise dramatic material with aplomb. This leaves the question of why this movie was such a flop.

To quote Kermit the Frog during the interviews after the cinema debut, the movie was allegedly emotionally draining for the crew to adapt. "You know, we have a script. Mostly. But we do a lot of improv too. I'd wager it's about 60% script, 40% improv on a good day of filming. But, uh… We just weren't feeling it with this one, you know? We watched the original, and… Boy, it's really sad. Goncharov's just kind of a lonely guy trying to make himself a life. And it's not a good life, but it's his to own, and it ultimately kinda falls apart. Gonzo tried to make the role his own, but I think we all realised that we couldn't really make a joke out of the movie in the way that we wanted to."

The Muppets were skillful enough to change the genre to an absurdist tragicomedy, a film where the tragic and meaningless cycle of violence is paradoxically played for laughter. However, despite this, the film is well-known for its bizarrely melancholy air and almost hopeless atmosphere. Everybody seems thoroughly certain that their improv will have little to no impact on the film as a whole, creating a strange and compelling meta-narrative where not even the actors themselves can escape the almost gravitational pull of the ticking clock. Their characters will die, and any attempts to joke their way out of it comes off as desperate, almost deluded in a sense.

The original Goncharov held a deep fascination with inevitability. Clocks are the primary theme, though it appears in other forms. It is this same inevitability that strangles the Muppets, their impressive comedic skills held captive by their own belief that the narrative is inescapable.

Of particular note is the bridge scene, wherein Gonzorov and Katya (played by the dazzling Miss Piggy) discuss the slow collapse of the Italian mafia. The original Goncharov scene had Goncharov desperately trying to hold things together, even as they slipped through his fingers, but here… Gonzorov realises that it's pointless. He can't fix it, but at the same time he can't let it go. He begs Katya to shoot him. Cut to the chase. She's going to shoot him anyway, that's how the movie ends, right? Might as well go out on his own terms. But this horrifies Katya, and she throws her gun away, accidentally saving Gonzorov in the process.

This adds a new layer to the themes of inevitability that Goncharov is wrapped up in, and it's this: Inevitability goes both ways. You're going to die, but only when you're meant to. You don't get lucky. You don't have accidents. Inevitability is a ticking clock, but that countdown is a safety net. As long as you can still hear that clock ticking down, it means you've stitll got time to burn. When a bomb is counting down, just five minutes until it detonates, you do everything you can to buy yourself more time on the clock. Even if all your effort only gains you an extra second, that's what you have to do, right? A single second is worth the blood of innocent men.

But again, inevitability. That second you earned cost you minutes, cost hours days weeks months years. The clock WILL run out.

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astraltrickster · 1 year

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What I love about the Goncharov meme is how willing most of us are to break kayfabe, because - on the surface level, it's kind, it gives people the opportunity to opt out if this just isn't good for them, and tells people - the secret is that there is no secret, that's the joke, hop right in with a "yes, and"; all are welcome. It's likely to confuse future media historians regardless.

But as someone who really enjoyed House of Leaves I also love it on a meta level because, we are essentially creating a spiritual adaptation of that book, blurring the line between meme and ARG...all based on a pair of shoes. It begs the question, then, what level of this layered narrative are we on, exactly?

I'm not the first person to compare Goncharov to The Navidson Record and I know I won't be the last. It's a very easy, obvious comparison to make - this legendary piece of lost media that everyone has an opinion on, but no one can confirm it's even real? Yeah, at this point in tumblr's collective consciousness, Goncharov is very much like that - the only difference being, we're on the same page and can agree that it's not real and never was.

Except we will place ourselves into a narrative such that it is real. It's an unspoken rule that even if you break kayfabe in other posts, even if you tag your Goncharov posts as "unreality" for accessibility (as you should, especially your original posts), you don't add to a Goncharov meta post, or fanfic, or fanart, in such a way as to even insinuate that Goncharov may not be a real movie. In this layer, that makes you the fool, the uncultured swine. Everyone's seen Goncharov! What do you mean you haven't even heard of it!? What do you mean you doubt it exists!? What rock have you been living under!? If someone earnestly asks what it is, it is to be answered elsewhere - in DMs, in an ask, over Discord, maybe in the replies, but not as an addition to the post that exists "in that reality".

There are a few things we tend to agree upon about Goncharov:

It is a work of fiction. The events of the movie did not occur in the universe - the narrative layer - where we discuss it as a real film.

As stated on the shoe label that created the meme, it is a film directed by Martin Scorsese, written by someone named Matteo JWHJ 0715 (sometimes also written as Matteo JWHJ0715 or Matteo jwhj0715), and it is a mafia movie - namely, it carries the lofty claim of being "The Greatest Mafia Movie Ever Made."

It is about the relationship between Russian and Italian mafia families, set in Naples.

This movie poster is the basis of the canon; the characters listed on it exist and are portrayed by the actors listed.

There is an additional character, Sofia, whose reasons for being omitted from the poster are unknown.

Katya and Goncharov are married; this likely at least started as merely a marriage of convenience, but the full nature of their relationship is hotly debated in a way that highlights many common views of tumblr shipping culture¹.

Katya eventually betrays Goncharov, leading to his death at the end of the film.

There is significant homoerotic subtext between Andrey/Goncharov and Katya/Sofia, much of which plays into the film's themes; however, contrary to the impressions often given by tumblr's fandom culture, it is all subtextual, and while the relationships between Andrey, Goncharov, Katya, and Sofia can be read as significant drivers of the plot, they are far from being the central focus of the story.

Clocks are a major recurring visual symbol.

There is a pivotal "boat scene".

Most other details, however, are left to whoever is currently "analyzing" it. For instance, while many on Archive Of Our Own agree that the character of "Ice Pick Joe" definitely died in the end, with "no beta we die like Ice Pick Joe" being a popular tag for Goncharov fanfiction, at least one early tumblr post implies that the character's fate is undetermined.

The Goncharov meme is simultaneously a love letter to tumblr's fan culture, and a scathing critique thereof², but one of the most underappreciated fascinating things about it is that it forms a nested narrative.

On the innermost layer, we have the unreachable - the film itself. No one has seen it. No one ever will. We're all just trying to imagine it from the shadows on the cave wall. Maybe one day we'll create it, but it will still never truly be the original 1973 film we're all writing about. Making it even harder to recreate and make "real", the mythology includes alternate cuts and regional edits to reconcile the plot points written by different users that undeniably contradict each other.

On the next layer outward, we have the posts about the film. The deep meta. The fanart. The fanfiction. The content "from another universe" where Goncharov is a real classic film that everyone has seen. The layer where we don't break kayfabe. This is a layer we can see the reality of, and contribute to, but never truly live in - it is an imaginary construct. Or is it? The film we're writing about may not exist, but the story we're weaving together from these roleplay writing exercises is somewhat coherent, and the thousands upon thousands of words of meta and fanfiction we write about it are real; one could make a compelling argument that even if Goncharov the film does not exist, the Goncharov fandom is a real fandom. This layer is one foot in the real world, and one foot in a fictional one.

On the next layer, we have the posts about the meme. This can be definitively stated to be real, with no caveats. Posts that discuss how the meme reflects on fan culture, about the self-referential nature of the meme, about the little aspects of online fandom culture it plays with. This is the first layer that can fully be said to be rooted exclusively in the real world.

But even on a layer beyond that, we have posts such as this one, discussing the discussion of the fandom for the fake film - and on yet another layer beyond that (or is it the same one?), we have the future speculation. We have guesses as to what future historians will think of this phenomenon. We have discussions of the precarious and transient nature of information online, questions about what parts of this meme will be archived and which ones will disappear. Will there be historians desperately searching for this alleged lost classic in 50 years? Will it be assumed that the shoes that started the meme were actually a piece of promotional merchandise for a real classic film?

You may notice, then, that the innermost layers are discrete, but once you get into the layers that exist in our reality, they become markedly less so.

This model gives us a structure that can be visualized somewhat like this:

[Image ID: a diagram of 5 concentric circles. The centermost circle is colored in dark red with a thick black outline and labeled "Goncharov (1973 film) - fictional, unreachable, unviewable". The next circle outward is colored in pink, with a thinner black outline, and is labeled "Goncharov fan discussion". The next circle is colored in light gold, with a black outline that blurs into the next circle, labeled "Discussion of the Goncharov fan discussion". The next layer is colored in light green, with a dark outline blurred so thoroughly that its only purpose is to provide some visual contrast for clarity of labeling, labeled "Discussion of all previous layers; note the blurring of the line between this layer and the previous". Finally, the outermost layer is colored in light blue, with a solid black outline, labeled "Speculation about the future's view of the Goncharov meme, including roleplay as lost media enthusiasts and media studies professors 50-100 years in the future". End ID.]

In fact, there are several rules the Goncharov meme has come to follow:

As stated above, any given post is constrained to its narrative layer, to the extent that those layers are discrete. Posts about Goncharov as a real film are not to have additions that break kayfabe. Similarly, posts about Goncharov as a meme are not to have anyone insist the film is real. This may be subject to change as the meme evolves, but it is the rule as of the time of this writing.

You may not add to a post to contradict a claim about the factual nature of what happened on screen, even if it directly contradicts a previous post of yours³. You are, however, encouraged to dispute its implications and get creative to try and reconcile the contradictions. The only exception is in the form of responding to a meme with another extant meme format (e.g., "I get what you're going for OP but x very much did y")

Posts about Goncharov the film are to be treated exactly the same way you would post about a real piece of media. Analysis is to be taken seriously, using real analytical frameworks and devices. Memes are to use real formats. Fanart and fanfiction are to have just as much effort put into their crafting as you would give any real piece of media.

Complaining about bad readings that do not exist, but you imagine someone might make, is encouraged.

You cannot break these rules. Not "you may not", but "you cannot". It is not possible. You can try. You will fail. Your posts breaking these rules will never gain traction, or if they do, they will do so only after being added to in order to make it fit them. The narrative is hungry. You cannot engage it without being absorbed into it. Your only escape is to walk away and not look back⁴.

In other words, the Goncharov meme is not just a meditation on fan culture, but a demonstration and discussion of the intricacy of the relationship between fiction and reality.

House of Leaves is beloved for its complex nested narrative, and again, the comparison is a common one. However, there is a subtle and potentially unsettling difference - House of Leaves did not include its author or its readers nearly as thoroughly as the Goncharov meme does. House of Leaves was written from outside the narrative; the legend of Goncharov is being written from within.

Every single person who blogs about Goncharov makes themself into a character in this story.

The narrative layers in House of Leaves bleed into each other to give a sense of mystery as to what is real and what is not in the universe(s) of the novel. The narrative layers in the Goncharov mythos bleed into each other because we traverse them freely - from the fictional reviews and retellings and analysis, to the semi-fictional drawing of comparisons to real media and the use of this nonexistent movie as a low-stakes vehicle to lightheartedly air one's real complaints with fan culture, to the fully-grounded discussion of Goncharov's impact as a meme, to the philosophical discussion of its multi-layered nature, to the once-again-fictional speculation of how it will be viewed in the future - the same person can visit any of these layers.

But their impact will always be bound by each layer's internal rules, because building a legend - a narrative - will not allow for anything else.

Goncharov does not exist. Goncharov is a narrative labyrinth that contains us all. YOU CANNOT ESCAPE ITS NARRATIVE.

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1. Tumblr shipping culture is as much of a microcosm of queer studies as it is of media analysis. It, like the Goncharov meme, operates on a minimum of two levels: the level of analyzing a story for potential queer readings, namely in the form of romantic relationships, and opportunities for transformative work; and the level of sociopolitical discussion of queer issues and stereotypes, and how they are reflected in media and the discussion thereof; the latter, particularly, in the form of intracommunity disputes and lateral aggression. For example, the dispute over the nature of Goncharov and Katya's marriage and its level of sincerity is implied in some posts to occasionally cross the line into bisexual erasure. While at the time of the Goncharov meme's emergence in 2022, the discourse within this subculture is much more civil than it once was, it is still very much an environment that stands as a constant reminder that there is no such thing as a truly apolitical space.

Of course, most everyone on this website knows that by now, right?

2. This meme comes at a time when a lot of us are terrified of going back to the way things used to be in tumblr fan discourse. We all joke about the Hamilton HIV fanfic catfish, or The JohnLock Conspiracy, or any number of other major scandals now that they're over; they are hilarious in hindsight, but it's all too easy to lose track of the fact that the human toll at the time was real. DashCon is a joke to most, but I've personally met more than one well-meaning volunteer who ended up with PTSD from dealing with attendees who thought even the volunteers were in on an intentional scam. We laugh at the absurdity of the incident known as Boneghazi, but it doesn't take away the fact that there are still people in Louisiana wondering if their relatives were the ones whose bones were stolen and offered up for sale online - though that one was only tangentially related to fandom, it's from the same broad sitewide culture. People have been stalked, harassed, doxxed, psychologically abused to the point of hospitalization and even suicide, there are even rumors of assaults over disagreements about which show is better, or which fictional characters have the best relationships. It's all petty, all funny in hindsight - but the human toll is real.

I got caught in an incident myself once*, before the porn ban. There was one guy, they and some real life friends of theirs got into my circle of friends in a roleplay community in the ■■■■■■■ fandom. They seemed nice enough. Normal enough. We had a few good chats. They played the same character I did, among a few others. Had a fun little concept we were throwing back and forth to start a thread with the doubled character. Accidental cloning due to a computer error, it was going to be.

Everything fell apart when a new ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ dropped. It gave us a nice scene of the most popular "ship" in the fandom - one that had been teased since day 1, and of course when it got attention the company wanted to milk it for all it was worth. This guy originally seemed cool with the ship, even though they didn't like it much; they preferred to pair one of the characters off with their self-insert OC. It was all a peaceful difference of opinion for a while, but after this ■■■■■■ dropped and people were excited about the scene, they went berserk. My then-boyfriend's ex started getting anonymous messages imitating him. My inbox started filling up with threats. Some of my more casual acquaintances started confronting me over threats they thought I sent. Meanwhile, this guy was melting down on main about how everyone had "betrayed" them. I found myself blocked by our mutual friends who this guy knew in real life - it turned out, because they were telling them that I was sending them hate and threats. "Someone" tried to convince my then-boyfriend to doxx someone adjacent to the circle for "abuse". I started getting hate messages that hit some of my deepest insecurities and almost ■■■ ■■ ■■ ■■■■■■ - the only reason I ended up okay was because I figured it out, because I realized this guy was the one doing all of it, and they were mining for ammo from our mutual friends.

All of this because a bunch of people, mostly strangers, were happy about the ■■■■■■. Because of a fictional relationship. Their fixation on me was just because we played the same character but liked different ships, and I was a little more known in the fandom. This wasn't even on a website where people could see follower counts, it was right here on tumblr, so they had to be pretty obsessive to figure that out in the first place.

Eventually the friends they lied about me to caught on and left them, but not before they stole a bunch of said friends' stuff. Last I checked on them, it was 2 years since the incident, and they were still melting down on main about how anyone who liked that ship was evil. By that point they had convinced themself that the entire fandom for that ship was a campaign to harass and persecute them personally; that there was no other reason to like it.

The last thing I head about them was that they had stabbed a family member over this and some other personal drama and gotten banned from Twitter and a few conventions for making violent threats toward artists and cosplayers. I don't dare look back anymore.

*Editors' note: Some details have been altered or redacted to protect the ignorant.

3. Ironically, this is one of the few tells that Goncharov is not an extant piece of media. In fandoms for real media, it is fairly common for details to be misremembered and corrections to be made.

4. "Don't look back", of course, is easier said than done. We must recall the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. Orpheus, despondent at the loss of his love, arranged to be allowed into the underworld to bring her back to life, but there was one condition; one tiny, seemingly simple condition - he must not look at her until they were both back in the light. If he did, she would be dragged back and lost forever; he would not get a second chance.

Like many myths, the details vary from telling to retelling. Some say that she was never made aware of the rule and cried out in terror as her husband refused to look at her, and almost instinctively he turned to comfort her. Some say that he fell victim to almost a form of muscle memory in mid-ascent when he turned to make sure she was okay. Some say that his desire to see her again sooner rather than later was just too strong and outweighed his resolve and common sense screaming for him to hold to the condition. Some say that he turned as soon as he was in the light, blissfully unaware until it was too late that she was still in the dark.

Whatever the reason, Orpheus looked back.

There is no version of the story where he succeeded in not looking back. The narrative will not let him not look back. The myth has no room for an Orpheus who is successful.

He cannot escape the myth.

He cannot escape the narrative.

Orpheus will always look back.

#goncharov #unreality #heavier unreality warning than your typical goncharov post #i freaked myself out with this #so if you like horror about the nature of narrative please read this and make it worth it!#house of leaves #memeology #internet culture #astral originals

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orphicdreamers-wp · 1 month

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Scared Of My Guitar — Luke Hughes

Summary; In which you and Luke both come to terms that your situation is wrong but neither of you can let go.

Content Warning; pure sadness(not really angst) , situation-ship, use of the names Jules, Parker, Katya and Bailee. Readers pov is with the pink lyrics, Luke is with the red.

Pairing; Music Major Reader & UMich Luke

Perfect, easy, so good to me. So why’s there a pit in my gut in the shape of you?

Part of you growing up believed you were unlovable. You were an only child to two busy parents. Your mother was a criminal defense attorney and your father was a renowned neurosurgeon. So a lot of your childhood was being raised by your babysitters over the years. Throughout high school you never had relationships, not because you didn’t want to but because it seemed that no one wanted to have a relationship with you.

So meeting Luke your freshman year at University of Michigan and being oddly pulled to him terrified you. By then you had ultimately decided that you had little to no interest in being someone’s girlfriend. And contrary to your sorority sisters Jules and Parker, that never changed when you started whatever you and Luke were doing. Part of you yearned for a relationship especially watching your best friend Kayta and her boyfriend JJ and Bailee and Ethan have perfect relationships.

But whenever you thought of being someone’s girlfriend it made you nauseous. You just had no interest of being anyone’s girlfriend. And everything someone called you Luke’s girlfriend a doomed feeling arose in your chest.

Barely sleep when you’re sleeping next to me.

Early into whatever you and Luke had started after hooking up in the bathroom at one of the many parties that Rutger and Luca had thrown, you guys began to frequent each other’s beds. You loved your room it was your safe place. You absolutely loved being in your bed. But oddly enough whenever Luke slept over you found it impossible to get to sleep.

You felt like you were being a horrible person, you felt like you were giving to less to Luke than he was giving to you. You were worried that your inability to desire a relationship would somehow hurt Luke so you just kept your mouth shut. Even when it caused you to lose sleep over.

But I’m so scared of my guitar cause it cuts right through to the heart.

You had been cleaning your room up before Luke was coming over for the weekend and you ran your fingers across your guitar, pulling away with dust covered fingers. You had been avoiding using your guitar because your music came from the heart and you were unsure you wanted to voice how you truly were feeling about your situation with Luke.

I can’t lie to it the same way I lie to you

You and Luke had been lying in your bed later that night watching Suits on your tv when Luke spoke, “You should come to the lake house with me this summer. My brothers can’t wait to meet you.” Your eyes darted to your guitar absentmindedly before you smiled softly as Luke looked up at you and you lied straight through your teeth, “Of course I will. That sounds so fun.” Luke hummed as you massaged his scalp lightly, “I’m glad you think so.”

I’m so scared of my guitar if I play it, then I’ll think too hard

Luke had gone to Vancouver with his parents and Jack for Quinn’s birthday so you had a little bit of free time to yourself to be in your head. You sat cross legged on your bedroom floor with your acoustic guitar resting on your lap. You had been brainstorming a song for your spring showcase and it was not going well when Luke was around. He sort of fogged up your musical thought process.

You picked up the guitar and began to strum the cords at random until you felt your cheeks dampen with tears. You set it on the floor beside you and pressed your back against your bed and let the tears stream down your face, not having the energy to fight them back. You barely lifted your head when your bedroom door creaked open. Katya popped her head in and her facial features softened when she noticed you were crying, “Oh baby, are you okay?” You shook your head and sniffled, “I don’t think so. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Katya sat on the floor beside you and pulled you into a heartfelt embrace, “Nothing is wrong with you sweet girl. Do you want me to call Luke?” You shook your head, “No he’s on his way back from his brothers. I don’t wanna bother him”

So I lay in your arms and pretend that it’s love.

Luke had come straight to your place after he left the airport. He had brought you one of your favorite snacks that you’d mentioned liking when you had met early on. You should have melted inside when he did but you didn’t. Luke had sworn up and down that all he wanted to do for the night was just hold you because he missed his girl. So you let him, you laid in his arms in your bed as Tangled played from your laptop. That had been the only time you had ever in any way convinced yourself that you could love being Luke Hughes’ girlfriend one day

If I was brave and noble like you I’d have the nerve to just stop stringing you along.

Luke wasn’t a bad person by any means, but the relationship or lack of made him feel like he was. It wasn’t that he intentionally started the situation with you with the intention of it not working. He just wanted his brothers to stop bothering him about not being over his ex. And then he met you. You were simple to know and easy to love. Luke would admit he had grown to love you over the year and half you two had been involved.

But he was never in love with you. He loved you because you were funny, he loved you because you watched the same tv shows as him, he loved you because he could beat you in a video game and the next round you’d beat him, he loved you because you were a good friend. Loving you as his friend was easy, he would truthfully call you his best friend. But he never saw you and him being together romantically in a serious relationship.

I’d rather be tied to someone, even if they’re wrong.

But you and Luke fell into the groove of being slightly more than friends but way less than a relationship. You guys would hold hands, go on dates, sleep together and everything in between. But you two were never going to be in a relationship. And Luke was okay with that until his mother invited the both of you to the lake house for the entire summer. And when he asked you about it you agreed a little too quickly. So Luke was sure to make it known to you that you were not his girlfriend.

But when that summer came and you joined him at the lake house and meshed perfectly with everyone in his life, he knew he had made a mistake bringing you. You and his mother had shopped for linens and you had won her over by purchasing what she had picked out instead of letting her. You had won his father over by offering to man the grill and when the steaks turned out better than when his father made them, Jim had asked you to come back every summer. You’d win Jack and Trevor over by beating both of them in beer pong multiple times. You had won Quinn over by your infatuation with working out, none of the other inhabitants of the lake house were up at 4 am going to the gym besides you and Quinn. So two ended up going together every morning for the remainder of the summer.

But despite his entire family adoring you, Luke still wasn’t seeing you in a romantic way. But he wasn’t going to give up what he had to try and find something else.

Say that I’m fine, I tell them all the time as they watch all the light fade away.

Luke’s teammates had begun to notice something was off with Luke following that summer. He had grown irritable and easy to piss off. He had always been spending less time with you. His friends had asked him if he was okay and they always received the same answer, a grumbled out ‘I’m fine.’ They were in no way believing it but they knew better than to push any further.

Cause what if I never find anything better?

Following summer Luke had been conflicted. You were everything a guy could ever dream of. So why wasn’t Luke in love with you? You were smart, kind, funny, good with kids, parents loved you, and you were easily jaw dropping stunning. Luke felt bad keeping you to himself when he wasn’t in love but how would he find anyone better than you?

So we’ll stay together cause how could I ever trade something that’s good for what’s right

So he kept his mouth shut and kept whatever you had going on. He didn’t want to trade a perfectly good friendship with things you’d have in a relationship, for what could have been. He didn’t want to take that chance.

I let the thought in, it’s already done.

Summer had changed everything for you. You fell in love with Luke’s family and Luke himself. He had such a welcoming family who made you truly feel like you were a part of something. You and Luke were laying in his bed, you were sure Luke was asleep. It was 3:02 in the morning. He had to be, he was laying in your arms. You whispered through the darkness secretly hoping Luke heard you, “I’m in love with you Luke Hughes.” You had closed your eyes after and were met with silence like you always were. “Yeah me too.” Oh..

Yeah I lay in your arms and pretend it’s enough.

Luke closed his eyes as he could feel the vibe in his bedroom shift. He was pretending to be asleep to avoid any confrontation with you. Your soft voice filled his ears, “I’m in love with you Luke Hughes.” He should have felt something right?

#fanfic #hockey player x reader #hockey #umich hockey #umich imagine #lh44 #luke hughes x y/n #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes #luke hughes fic #angst #sad #scared of my guitar #guts deluxe

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artemis-pendragon · 1 year

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Red and White: A meta analysis of color and the subversion of morality in Martin Scorsese's Goncharov (1973)

Katya Goncharova

By now everyone knows that Katya is the Woman in White. Aside from the obvious ghost/haunting implications of this color scheme, white can be used to signal purity, something Katya should, by all accounts, have left far behind.

So is this a subversion of a cliche and outdated ideal of purity (although not at the time of the film's creation, making this possibility even more daring and subversive), or is there another meaning? Virginity and innocence are only two types of purity. There is also love, and the complex purity that often accompanies it. Katya is, at her heart, a very emotional and loving person. She may not show it as openly or loudly as Sofia, but it's undeniably there: her love for her husband, and, of course, for Sofia.

It's also an interesting departure from the red/black femme fatale/black widow color schemes of Soviet women spies and assassins in films made around the same time. Katya is a killer and a player in this deadly game, yes, but at her core she wants so desperately to be a good person, to escape the life her husband has condemned himself to. Katya hopes, against all odds, that love can redeem her. Perhaps her insistence on always wearing white is meant to hint at her longing for innocence and purity, even though her hands are already stained red.

Love and its complexities, as well as the discussion of traditional red and black color schemes used for femme fatales brings me to

Sofia

Sofia is both Katya's foil and mirror. She challenges Katya's morality by upholding her own, living off a value system that, while twisted in its own way, is ultimately one of the strongest moral compasses in the film. Her descent into the role of killer is not only Katya's doing; Sofia was destined for bloodshed long before they even met, and only comes into her own as a real player after the cocktail scene. This is demonstrated through Sofia's red and black color scheme, which, as I mentioned earlier, is typically associated with femme fatales and black widows.

However, Sofia also wears white, notably at the end of the film after the Boat Scene, after her descent into destruction and The Life. This shot is especially powerful, as it uses a red backdrop to emphasize the change that Sofia has gone through, and her merging with Katya while also retaining her own history and morality.

While she starts out as Katya's foil, over the course of the film the two women begin to merge, their twisted morality aligning until Sofia's femme fatale false persona become her truth. It is only then that she comes into her own and begins wearing white, and, interestingly, that half white/half red color pink: the mixed feelings and emotions of a changing woman.

Ultimately, color plays a critical role in Goncharov, especially in the portrayal of Sofia and Katya and their complex, emotional, and ultimately tragic joined fate. Sofia loses the vibrant reds and deep blacks of her scheme after the Cocktail Scene, which is when it seems that she's finally accepted her feelings for Katya and lost herself to that lifestyle. She has spilled blood, and the red of her clothes becomes the red on her hands.

For example, this is Sofia's outfit before and during the Boat Scene:

This is her outfit directly before the Cocktail Scene:

Tumblr won't allow me to add another image (reached my limit ranting it seems lol) but in Sofia's final scenes, she is seen in all white, just like Katya.

Winter has, truly, come to Naples, and it has swept Sofia up in its bitter white embrace--the embrace of a colder, more calculating mindset and morality, as well as the literal embrace of Katya Goncharova, her salvation and her doom.

#(i couldnt find a reference for Sofia so i picked Kathleen Turner because i think she has Sofia vibes lmao)#Goncharov #goncharov 1973 #mafia wives #katya x sofia #goncharov meta #sofya #unreality #tw unreality

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jojo-schmo · 9 months

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my stupid ship-infested brain read over the post explaining about skipperdillo and gorimonger and went "bond? love for crafting? screw it lets ship them" and here we are

That's amazing hahaha! I love that so much! :D

I'm not saying anything about whether anyone should ship them or not. I'm going to leave that up to individual preference. :3

...What I am saying is that I have a lot of fun pondering their dynamic and different interactions. Here's a few more I have:

Skipper is an agent of chaos and pure fun, and Gori likes supporting it.

Skipper made Gori his helmet and it was the nicest thing anyone ever did for him.

And I think they have a good understanding with each other. Skipperdillo likes to talk. Gorimonger likes to listen.

Featuring that one clip of Trixie and Katya that I adore haha

#forgotten land roleswap #roleswap scraps #gorimondo #sillydillo #Kirby and the forgotten land #beast pack #roleswap ask

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katyspersonal · 10 days

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Hello Katya, do you have any ideas about Simple Gratia?

....

Yes, my girl!! I have some observations AND ideas! I remember that back when I checked, a fan Wiki incorrectly said that she is wearing Yharnam Hunter set. I do not know whether they've fixed that since then or not, but I know it confused a few artists. Gratia, in reality, is wearing an Old Hunter set but slightly altered:

(Close images of her model are from this ( x ) page, datamined by AstralLace!) This is what an Old Hunter set looks like, for a reminder:

Gratia is an Old Hunter: the type that started under Gehrman like Maria, Vitus, Henryk, Djura, Bestial Hunter, all that. I think that she knew all these characters and more, and with Maria she was a lot like an older sister that Maria never had! But I think she would be genuinely annoyed by Djura's complex inventions and at times not be able to hide her disdain, right in the middle of Djura ranting about them! That'd spark stupid, petty arguments about what kind of weapon is "better" which their friends laugh at in the corner like hyenas until Gehrman or Maria separate them XD

In comparison with the generic set, she is missing the long flowing cape, as well as the glove on her left hand. Her weapon, a chunk of metal, also goes in the left hand. I think she is missing the glove to have a stronger grip on the metal, so it would not slip away! I wondered what her right hand weapon would be before, but I think she doesn't need one in the end! I imagine her staggering the beast with her Iron Fist and then TEARING THEIR HEAD OFF WITH HER FREE HAND DFJHFSHSD .....but, you know, a hammer or a mace would also be nice yeah sure

In Bloodborne setting, red hair is also highlighted as a trait of Cainhurst nobles, that isn't really seen in any other NPC. Edgar may be also a ginger but much brighter kind, certainly not a REDhead!

This makes me think: what if Gratia's red hair is not just a random design choice, but a hint? And even if it isn't, it can still be used for a headcanon! Cainhurst nobles descend from Pthumeru Ihyll and have some Pthumerian heritage (just in case here ( x ) is the post with evidences of it) 🤔 At the same time, Pthumerians have gigantic variants, that seem to be more slow and dim than 'regular' ones. And interestingly, Gratia is abnormally big AND stated to have some intellectual drawbacks:

So, she has 1) otherwise Cainhurst-exclusive hair color 2) a size abnormally large for a human and 3) correlation between inability to use guns and being 'dim'! This gave me a headcanon that she was born in the Cainhurst walls, but shown Pthumerian genes that were "undesired" in the eyes of snobbish nobles and thus, abandoned at birth. She never knew of her origins, but was adopted by a kind man! Yeah, in this context, Maria and Gratia feeling family-like bond almost from the start in kind of fateful!

^ I often draw her with the same body pattern that shows on the skin of Snatchers, and that is exactly what kind of descendant she is!

I also always liked the idea that Gratia, Simon and Yamamura were the 'detective friends' up to uncover the Healing Church's secrets! Later, I decided the Yahar'gul Hunter we find in the prison under Grand Cathedral should also be a part of the squad! I did not know that Simon interestingly had Fist of Gratia as a part of his equipment back then and only judged from their location, but that made me feel validated with that headcanon! xD

Gratia is, of course, more of a 'power' of the team! She might be not very smart, but she has her heart in a good place and can understand the concept of shady bad business that should be stopped. She is easy to deceive in terms of pranks and other remotely innocent things, but when someone lying to her or trying to use her is malicious she will sense it. Pair that with her being very brave and blunt, and you really don't want to mess with her! The girl could grab Laurence and slam him against the wall accusing him of being "full of shit" if he attempted to deceive her, ffs! And not even his friends would defend him because it IS his fault for playing with this tigress x)

Needless to mention that she is protective over her friends! Not a kind of a protective friend that will mindlessly jump into fighting the other guy, but someone that will walk in and give them a fair warning to get lost first. She has threatening aura and usually just that is enough to scare away a person that means no good to someone she cares about. But, when she is powerless to do anything against some prick in power or likewise, she will express her frustration by breaking a property on her way out xd

Also she gives me this vibe:

Thank you for an ask! :D She has a very vivid and fleshed out image in my mind! Funny enough, this makes describing her harder because she feels so self-explanatory for me!

#bloodborne #simple gratia #bloodborne headcanons #bloodborne observation

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lutzlig · 1 year

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Tumblrwoman Election Wrap-Up

To celebrate the end of this election, I'm gonna answer the rest of your questions!

First off:

Thanks everyone for participating! This ended up way bigger than expected. It was pretty exciting, seeing everybody chime in and participate.

Shoutout ESPECIALLY to all the people making fanarts, memes, etc... you people are incredible!!! Most of it can be found under #twe23, be sure to check it out, everybody!

Here's some highlights you people have made:

this github live number tracker made by @twilight-sparkle-irl during the vriska/katya poll. A THRILLING read!

this hollow knight miku oc by @anonymous-utility!! shes so cute...

@seasoned-cabbage made a wiki sandbox for the polls... it's so satisfying to see the stats laid out like this : D

@unidentifiedfroggy wrote fanfiction that just perfectly encapsulates the whole experience : ' )

General Q&A

"Who did you want to win?"

I myself think Vriska deserved the title most! I think vriska is just as integral to tumblr as Cecil is, if not more.

As for the other 2 involved, they didn't really care who won!

How often did you hear "Why are you pitting 2 bad bitches against each other"?

Often! One of us was going to count, but he got so annoyed that he stopped. You people need to get a new sentence.

"Why are there minors in a tumblrsexywoman contest?"

It's not a tumblr sexywoman contest, it's a tumblrwoman election! Before we made the poll, we considered whether it's better to throw out the minors or remove the "sexy" angle. We decided on the latter, mostly because this kind of competition would feel incomplete without tumblrgirls like miku and vriska.

Will you be doing this again next year?

Hm, not sure. Probably not! At least, I wasn't planning on it. We did this on a whim, and this is (SUPPOSED TO BE) my art blog.

I might make a blog for it next year, if these are still relevant and the demand is high (which i highly doubt).

Why didn't you answer my question?

I got like 130 asks this week and most of them were cries of pain and outrage. I was also incredibly busy irl until a day ago. If I didn't answer your question, Sorry!

Concerns about Corruption

According to the tags on these, every single one of the polls was rigged in some way or another. Particularly grievous examples of this were Miku's loss (I suspect Vriskavoters doing foul play (I am vriskavoters. I voted Bayonetta to sabotage Miku. Then i spent the whole day listening to Miku voicebank comparisons.)), and Marcie's win (Somebody accused the Adventure time subreddit of having swamped the poll. The post in question had 19 upvotes. The poll on tumblr had 92,123 votes).

What's more, I've been offered bribes!! Several american dollars! The political landscape of tumblr sure is a scary place...

Manners

Some of you really don't know how to act. This goes out to a small (but very, very vocal) minority - don't be a dick! Just because it's the internet does not mean you can just insult random strangers! This is a poll about fictional women, this is NOT a place to call people the r-word or imply someone is stupid for liking a character.

Some people left pretty graphic, violent messages. Most of these were jokes, but still. Take caution with the words you choose. This should go without saying, but telling strangers to "eat glass" and the like is not acceptable behaviour.

In the end, this was a competition between fictional characters, so seeing people arguing in the replies and trying to gain some sort of moral high ground was a little bit saddening.

Most of you were nice though, luckily : )

Thanks

To everyone who left kind messages, to everyone engaging and having fun, the fan art, the posts, to everyone expressing their thanks to us - thank you!!!

In the end, this was a lot of fun, and it was nice to see the website come together like that!

What's next?

For the next few days, I'm going to be promoting my friends' projects as much as I can to scare all of you people off of my blog.

I got WAY too many followers from this and frankly, that is simply not acceptable. You all need to leave NOW, because I want to get back to posting art eventually and I would rather not be on everybody's timeline.

That's why I have decided to become a massive sell out and reblog my friends' stuff on main for a bit. Peace!

#twe23 #tumblrwoman election asks #tumblrwoman election 2023

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strugglingatart · 3 months

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Jr Year ep 3

This is me live blogging bc I need to get thoughts out also would love fandom friends full spoilers bellow the cut just so no one accidentally reads anything they don’t want to this will be long

EX GIRLFRIEND I will legit fight Brennan why did we at least not see it....

btw me saying I will fight brennan is mostly a joke like I get why we made all these changes, I don't actually love everything but I do trust all these people enough that it will serve the story and play out great

Immediately clocking the fairy festival (Frosty whatever it is I'm so sorry Brenan says it and then it's immediately out of my head) connection we love

love love looove the aguefort projections, so many Arthur statues!

Riz's manic energy is such a vibe, not exactly healthy but a vibe I get

the astral realm where all the dead gods go

lowkey love that Gorgug and Fabian are solid like the boys lowkey play them so dumb but that's just teenage boys for ya (also thought maybe Fabian would be in less trouble but still some so this makes my anxiety relax a bit, only issues we already knew off)

Actually for the wizards I'm really chill is an A+ and also probably true sentence

ah the answer I needed about Fig's multiclass

Ah the society of shadows again, and a college for sad alone adventureres lol

their record is bad but it should be worse when talking about the one person sports team is SO FUNNY to me

the friends bit is so good, everythig about it, all the laughing, Emily failing intentionally, Ally letting it work even tho it shouldn't, perfection

Lydia still making half orc meals we love and stan

Adaine-Riz friendship is SO IMPORTANT to me

the sibbling energy our girls have are amazing

the Thisstlesprings will literally just go into sex ed and Gorgug's reaction is gold everytime

"Can I run from you?" LMAO

ok I'm getting the silly energy they were talking about now

listennnn we are gonna get into Gorgug isn't a good barbarian according to his teacher again aren't we? it's why it wasn't pre approved? I will fight this teacher he literally saved the world twice as mostly a barbarian let him be a chill barbarian

WHY DID GILLEAR NOT TALK TO FIG

yes Fabian make Fig go to class

yay new lunch lad

also I legit thought the time quangle was just an explain continuity errors away and also get rid of the agueforts who break encounters thing but it might be related to the plot now that it's come back up in the recap and in the intercom in story

Fig has Gillear's luck confirmed ok

Zac's physical comedy continues to be SO GOOD

the sillies really are here I'm laughing so much

straight away this lady is insane

four different dogs is such a good burn, love agro Kristen

do not trust this people at all

ohhh skullcleaver, Katya's aunt? cousin? I don't recall the seven mentioning that

listen Fabian's house being party house is lowkey dangerous

Kristen being a disaster gay even when trying to help friends flirt is a mood and a half

ooohh I like mazey

don't trust the attomaton tbh

also yes I just thought of this now so it's late but going back to Kipperlilly whatever her name is, like homegirl can't make big institutional changes youre class president not on staff

rules always being followed to the letter is tbh scary there has to be room for interpretation, perfect order doesn't exist

YES PLOT love how it's already too much bc mood and "yeah I cannot think about that right now" and "embodyment of writers block" oh this season is gonna continue to hit me in the face

Wanda Childa is wild

she was a turncoat, more importantly she was a mirror

why is Ally's hey girlie voice so terrifying

fully forgot porter was the barbarian teacher and I will fight porter LET GORGUG MULTICLASS...

aaaa I'm going into a worry is here, legit thought it was gonna be in battle but I love Gorgug's energy here bc I've been there where you do things kinda nontraditional way and have teachers make the achivements sound so much worse just bc i didn't get there through the path they wanted me to take

love terpsichore immediately

they get 30's fairly often now we love level 10

fabian is such an arsty kid at heart and always was like Lou wanted to make a jock maybe but never did

listen trashbag sandwich is worrying but it was indeed fine

I get that Riz is type A but he is the non annoying kind

homegirl who desn't like technicalities and ppl gettign away with stuff got out in one huh? also I have no idea what that means the teacher found her? what?

Jawbone I love you and also I worry about how much I relate to Riz

I so hate this girl I'm with Adaine, she's the worst we've had

oh no the Applebee's

ok so I have a huge like essay somewhere about both why I don't like how Kristen is dealing with Cassandra but also how I 10000% understand her as someone who abandoned religion but was then forced to still be in similar roles and religious enviornments after that somewher in my head buut also who cares but just know it exists

omg Bucky giving her a hug I cry

Kristen is not doing well but that was actually a pretty good parental confrontation tbh I'm proud

oh damn poor Adaine I'm sosorry my dear you don't deserve this

Brennan really went you know what? we are not having your wildness work for you this time Emily, your shit is catching up to you

yay fig went to class finally

we got SO many designs with all the teachers and such and they are all so great

oh nooo Kristeeen, each step I take the step behind me vanishes is such a raw ass line like this poor teenager is legit so lost like someone help her please (also that was a relatable little monologue.. am I ok?)

love the cleric teacher a lot

ok but i love cassandra alright twilight, mystery and doubt are such a cool ass domain you can sell it and embrace it Kristen I belive in youuuu

but also again: a good ass teacher

awn I love that they're back in the forest

again Siobhan promised no taers and I have cried twice now maybe three times in three eps??? rude af

the bad kids should've helped with the whole Cassandra stuff I just realised I'm so sorry

oh shit not Kalina again.... I feel like i got stabbed in the heart

oh I am sooo pumped for next ep!!!!!

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy #riz gukgak #kristen applebees #fabian aramais seacaster #adaine o'shaughnessey #gorgug thistlespring #fig faeth

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salt-apple · 9 months

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Hi all! This is going to be a more serious post than usual! So sorry. Before I start I will say I may edit this post after posting it if new info is added.

This post is not intended to be a callout, rather, a critique of Kasafraz, a member of the Eddsworld staff most popular for their fanart outside of their job.

Kasafraz is a tbatf supporter. They have a cameo within the comic and one of the creators has posted their collaboration with Kas, of which they reblogged with no apprehension. With someone so knee-deep in the Eddsworld community, I doubt they don't know what exactly wrong with TBATF. If you're curious, there are numerous posts about it on this platform that articulate it better than I could.

Another big point I have is that Kasafraz has numerously made comics about Edd going "insane" and playing with puppets due to isolation. This is a callback to 'This World of Edd' (circa 2007). This is mocking psychotic people. It is ableist. The original episode is a product of its time and should have been left alone, and the comics came out in 2022 and 2023 (I will not address the queerbaiting though because that is out of Kas's control). Also, playing with puppets is normal. Making psychotic people the butt of the joke is just harmful, especially with what Matt Hargreaves has said about people with DID/OSDD/UDD/etc.

One more thing before I get to more minor grievances is that for pride month this year, there was a series of posts that was centered around the main cast of Eddsworld at a pride parade. On paper, this sounds good, but the series was entirely focused around them. The canonically queer characters (Kim, Katya, those two unnamed sapphics, (questionably) Mark, Chester) were reduced to background cameos, and that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. These pieces were all, to my knowledge, worked on by Kasafraz.

More minor things will be listed under the cut, as well as screenshots.

Doesn't draw Eduardo because they don't want people thirsting after him. They draw Future Edd for people to thirst after.

When an introject asked to be drawn (albeit masked, so it was not clear, but one click would've been enough to see that I at least existed) they drew the source character essentially dead (ghost) and said they were going to draw a grave.

Says fanmade merchandise is bad, because it's taking their money. Artists have to live too? Additionally, if people are buying merch secondhand/fanmade, they weren't going to buy from Eddsworld anyway. They also alluded to people not buying merch for "disliking a person on the team" as if there's not NUMEROUS posts about Matt H. and Christopher B.'s misconduct (they are the heads of Eddsworld. It is not just some guy on the team.)

screenshots:

#tbatf mention #ableism mention #jon posting #eddsworld discourse #not main tagging this.#will edit if needed

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zalrb · 1 year

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Halllo Zal!

I don't know if you finished Derry Girls (if you haven't seen 3×04 stop reading) or if you already answered this question (in which case could link it to me, I couldn't find it). If the answe to the first thing is yes and to the second is no:

What do you think of James and Erin?

For me it came out of nowhere (and I'm someone that ships easily, all it takes is a look), nothing could have made me guess that it was gonna happen between them. I think they have NO romantic chemistry whatsoever. And it kinda of ruined the vibe of the whole group for me.

What do you think on the matter?

Oh, I liked Jerin since the season 2 finale.

It’s also funny that the season 2 finale is what got you to ship Orla and James because it was the season 2 finale that got me to ship him with Erin, it wasn’t prom, it was Erin’s reaction to James’ news

I was like, oh I think I ship it.

And there are quite a few posts in the fandom that talk about how them getting together is symbolic of something much larger, i.e. they're two teens from two countries that have a tumultuous relationship with each other and they come together and it's a symbol of hope and a new beginning etc.

I also think their coming together is rooted a lot in character and the relationship dynamic is secondary. What I mean is, Erin is a character who has grand ideas of how her ordinary life will transform, whether it's fantasizing about being on a talk show/radio show

or having the goal of being the first person in their family to go to university or wanting/believing that the young English teacher sees her creativity and they have a special bond, or finally, finally getting with the cool musician and every time the reality is different and James is the much better reality, perhaps not what she fantasized about,

but the extraordinary in the ordinary.

For James' part, he came to Derry an outcast, not understanding how things worked, painfully uncomfortable and his arc in the first two seasons is realizing he belongs with his family (Michelle) and found family with Orla, Clare and Erin but then there's added layer of him falling for someone from the place he once looked at with utter confusion and bewilderment

so rather than hyper-focusing on James and Erin together, I think it's led by their characters' journeys. That being said, I think they had their moments, I think 1x04 (one of my favourite episodes) is really telling

she's been into David since the first episode but instead of trying to get closer to him at the party, she's obsessed with Katya and James

in fact she actually has her in with him, he approaches her, he offers to sneak her a beer, it's the moment she; been waiting for, but what matters more is James and it's significant that she's the only one who cares about this, Orla, Claire and Michelle think he should probably have sex

I just don't think they had as many moments as I would've liked that were coded as specifically romantic before the confession and the kiss but I went along with it anyway.

And I don't think it did anything to disturb the friendship dynamics.

#jerin #derry girls #james x erin #erin x james #erin quinn #james maguire

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talenlee · 10 months

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Goncharov Card Game Concepting

I am tired and my brain hurts and I am exhausted as I try try try to make graphic work for Bloodwork happen. The website is down and up and down again and that’s maddening as hell, and the dog is weird and the dishwasher’s replaced and aaaaaa so what I decided to was exorcise a brain worm about a Goncharov card game.

At the moment the prototype starts with an ordinary deck of playing cards, face cards removed. Face cards are your character, which get played face down in front of you, and we’ll get into what that means. At the start of the game, you deal everyone a face down character card from the available options, and your character determines what you value, and the kind of scenes you want to have.

Then you shuffle the numbers, every player draws one card, and you start the drafting.

The gameplay loop goes:

You draw two cards.

From two of the three cards in your hand, you shuffle, then pick one to present to another player face down, one face up.

You’re going to get to do this to every single player once each round – so you get to make choices that way.

That player picks one of the cards, face down or face up, and adds them to the set in front of them, in columns to represent each player who’s given them a choice.

You get the other card, in a corresponding column.

Once you have a card in your column, you can look at it!

During this period, you can talk about what you shared and why, and you can even lie about what you were handed.

You’re trying to collect different kind of scenes with different people – Icepick Joe wants to have a violent scene with everyone, Andrei wants to try and share romance and violence with Goncharov and gets no points for scenes with Katya, but can make mileage out of scenes with Sofia.

That’s the basic engine. Next question:

How big is this game?

If there are fifteen cards in the deck, then you get to give every player a round of sending drafts, but they don’t get a round of receiving each. At the minimum play experience, for five players, one round of drafting fully means that each player should have 2x the number of players cards, meaning that the minimum card pool gets bigger quick. In five players, each player gets 8 cards, plus one extra, per round, so that’s 45 cards to start with.

That means a normal deck of cards is just barely big enough to have everyone have a scene with everyone else, but also, everyone gets two scenes with everyone.

There’s also a matter of information leakage. There’s a reason players are goin to want to hoover up cards of a particular type. Also, this could be made Fantasy Realms style, or Tussie Mussie style where every card has a simple mechanic on it that makes other cards better, with your character card represents a single big advantage – Goncharov may get a bonus point for each suit he can collect, Katya may get bonuses for every heart she has, Mario may want diamonds, that kind of thing.

Similarly, cards can be character specific, and therefore, you might have a reason to want to keep something in hand. Like hey, this card says Katya and Sofia get 2 points? Well, maybe that stays in your hand because you’re playing Icepick Joe. But maybe you could offer it to someone else when you see the players you think are Katya and Sofia are in last place, and therefore bum them with a dead draft.

That’s the basic idea.

Now here’s the funniest thing here:

With 45 cards at base, and 7 cards for characters, the game gets to look like a 52 card deck of cards, and a maximum of 5 players. So the mechanical limits for a very simple draft game are right there in a standard deck size.

The problem is:How do I get art for this.

There’s a ton of cool as fuck fanart for Goncharov. There’s definitely an aesthetic for it too! It’s so mangled and weird and ostensibly uncreated, there’s a case to be made for using stock art for it, maybe. Or a particular film aesthetic, maybe, and instead abstracting everything. But there are some symbols that are seen as very important to Goncharov, like the clocks.

One of the things I love about Goncharov as a memeplex is that the artistic representation of these intense scenes deserve to be platformed. I want people to see them and enjoy them and I think it’d be amazing to make a card game that looked like them.

But also: I can’t print cards for free! I can’t make this game and distribute physical copies of it for free (like, literally, I can’t afford it). And the overlap of Goncharov fans and card game fans? Probably not necessarily huge! And you can’t go to a fanartist ‘hey can I pay you for the rights to your fanart’ when it’s not really fanart, it’s original art that just happens to somehow all have a shared corpus of inspiration. What’s more the most iconic piece of Goncharov art is something the artist has more or less said ‘go nuts’ about, but it’s transformative art of a bunch of other posters so I’m not sure how far it gets me from the actual generative art discussion!

At the same time, man, man, it seems so close to attainable. The Goncharov poster style, the entirely arbitary name of the game, the lore and fiction, it’s already meant to be an homage to the greatest mafia movie ever made, rather than anything that anyone could actually account for.

Am I going to get sued by a bootleg shoe company?And if I ignore the inspiration, what’s left? An interesting emotionally complex mafia movie kind of game generator, but it somehow feels so much more artificial to imagine I’m a fan of any of those that I’m not actually that into. Mafia movies aren’t my thing, I don’t think.

But I do love Goncharov.

Weird.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#goncharov #unreality #Games #Making

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