#i think i should really get that diagnosis

[vroomvroomwee]

Who was gonna tell me that sitting down on a cold hard floor alone in a room barely illuminated with only a small lamp light in the dead of night, hugging your knees while putting the same song on loop to play over and over and over again as you close your eyes and start rocking side to side softly and slowly for 30 minutes FELT SO GOOOD??

#ive never felt more fresh #i honestly teared up a bit #because i felt myself relax #i dont think i remember ghe last time i did that #god the feeling hit me like a train #stimming #is this stimming? #i think i should really get that diagnosis #autism #adhd #audhd #actually audhd #audhd things #neurodivergence #neurodivergent #neurodiversity

[goldiipond]

YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS THATS RIGHT ITS ART SUMMARY TIME. OH YEEAAAH

tpn is definitely one of the longest fixations i've had in a very long time, these kids mean soo much to me and have helped me branch out with my art in really fun ways. i'm really happy with where my style is now, and heres to another year of drawing the same damn anime characters <3

2022 | 2021 | 2020

#skye's doodles #skye's ramblings #ive been using both tags for these im not quite sure why. but i do love to ramble on these #did NOT have enough space for all my favorite pieces choosing was soo hard for some months ... 2024 skye should space out his favs better #to be honest this year was. interesting !! my motivation became a little rocky towards the end #partially due to finally getting a diagnosis for something ive been struggling w forever + med trials and annoying side effects YAAY #but i am glad i have still been able to make art that i can be happy with despite all that and it honestly feels. a little more special? #idk if that really makes sense but yah. really happy with how my art has developed this year cant wait for next year <3 #also godd the way ray n don each take up half these spaces... anime boy disease is incurable i fear <3 #n yah i totally just grabbed this template from the one i made last year n changed the top doodle/year. i will probably keep doing this <3 #shoiuld i tag this as tpn? it is all tpn and ive seen other summaries in the tag today. much to think about

[iqmmir]

Hemlo girlms 👋👋

#.mimiming ❜ #they are taking me to the devil ..... #they are not they are taking me to get a diagnosis #my brother's like 'yea the anti depressants (that you are not taking. why r yoy not taking them) will help. but i think you should get #tested for adhd. yea no i will make them do an assessment okay. yea yea' #sigh #i already have the depression diagnosis now what if i get more..... #idk.. its not really a bad thing if i get medication but also hm.... hmmmm #anyways girls we ignore thatttttt

[bellincurl]

You're going to have to believe me when I say my major realizations to having a developmental condition now, despite being on the cusp of special ed classes, being bullied for moving weird or being concerningly behind on developmental milestones as a kid, was ACTUALLY seeing clips of jerma and thinking "Oh that's why I got bullied" and 2 watching happy feet as an adult LMAO. Also seeing the common jokes abt jerma be 1 to 1 with shit I've even heard abt me even as an adult. Like how do you exist, you're like an animal, or an alien, like you're something mimicking something ect ect you look weird you move weird it's scary

#anyway im trting to pick up my essay scripts again my friend said i should do #one that's like jerma happy feet and me which is so funnyyy #i ahve way more to say abt happy feet in general thougu that movie is hysterical to me #they tell that penguin to kill himself #ive brought this up before i just think it's the ffunniest way to realize its a thing for me #bc up til then i just kinda took the beating abt it right i just suck at things #and no one cared to get me any kinda diagnosis for anything #i really havent stopped thinking abt happy feet its a bit much #the one drag number i have planned in my head is a happy feet boogiewonderland one its so fucking Clear in my head

[astriiformes]

Ah. The scrupulosity.

#been doing generally better lately to the point that i had been starting to second-guess some of my suspicions #but over the past week i have been. hm. noticing things #currently it's a distressing guilt spiral over something that's not really my fault but still feels like it is #which is more than enough to make me miserable #oh andreas we're really in it now etc etc #i don't think my therapist knows much about moral ocd so i've been having trouble talking these things out or getting a diagnosis #but maybe. i should push a little harder

[july-19th-club]

me age seven being sat down in front of the school’s district child psych lady and being given strange, simple spatial puzzles to solve and then long, complicated worksheets and hammering my way through them at the speed of light while having zero comprehension what their purpose was or why i was here: this is urgent! i have to get a good grade in Weird Puzzles, Or Else, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve,

#kjalkjsdalkjasdl mrs button was a nice lady but not one adult in my childhood ever seemed to notice what to me now seems like #a pretty obvious case of the autisms #then again maybe they just didn't look as hard unless it was *really* obvious back then . it was like. what. 2000? a couple years later #everybody was talking about autism but not when i was six or seven then it was usually just when it was Very Visible #a couple years later my cousin who's more visibly on the spectrum than me got her diagnosis so young that she's pretty much always had it #which is...well i think it's just made her life difficult in a different way. people underestimate her or don't treat her like she's her age #but then she's always had the opportunity to get accommodations and people are sometimes more forgiving when she can't do something #whereas i got labeled 'kid that should be ahead of the game' from a pretty young age and then when i struggled adults either ignored it #or it was just a huge hassle to them and even i could see it exasperated them to have to work around me #but because mrs button (nice lady but what were you thinking) hadn't told them to treat me like a kid with a developmental disorder #they didn't do that in good OR bad ways . so i never got any accommodations with school stuff i struggled with which was a fair bit #i wasn't supposed to need extra testing time in a quiet room or tutoring with math or help organizing my abysmally scattered things #the only time i DID get that was in sixth grade when i was sort-of friends with this kid jonathan who was Very On The Spectrum #he wasn't really a talker unless it was about whatever he was reading which suited me fine so we just kind of existed in each other's space #and his TSS was this very smart and nice lady who had clearly clocked that Something Was Going On With Me and even though it wasn't like #her JOB she made a little bit of time for me. mostly with emotional stuff (i think i was under the impression she was a therapist?) #but if i had some problem with being unable to keep friends or being frozen out by the kids i wanted to be liked by (happened often) #she'd be able to just like. be there she'd make the time . wish i could remember her name

[pilotstreets]

i have GOT to stop wearing tøp shirts to appointments related to my mental health oh my god

#it's just my fashion is all #first appointment for adhd diagnosis. wore a tøp shirt. other diagnosis appointments. tøp shirts. firsy day of therapy. tøp shirt. now im #in the waiting room for an appointment to see about getting on antidepressants. and guess what im wearing. TØP SHIRT. #also i ordered another shirt off ebay and im very excited about it because i already have the same shirt and it's my #FAVORITE pilots shirt ever but i LOST IT last year and i think someone might have stolen it at camp #or it just went to a different dimension when i got back and unpacked because it's GONE #so i ordered another just like it AND it was $8 less than my first one 😋 and if i find the other one then i'll probs crop the new one #also. every appointment has been a different shirt because i own like 10 shirts BUT 3 of them i cannot #bring myself to wear outside of the house. im sorry i cant do it. #im rambling a lot in the tags sorry im just really nervous and im gonna be in the waiting room for my appointment for an hour. anyway #should have brought my headphones so i can listen to the mtv unplugged 😔 sad. sad #;malls;

[halinski]

.

#its been yeeears since i got my dissociation diagnosis in the clinic but i still have trouble believing it #and im always like am i really dissociating #bc im never like fully gone #but like lately ive been shutting my fingers in a lot of drawers and doors #and bumping into corners and hitting my head bc im not aware of where my body ends #and i cant remember words or colleagues names that ive worked with for years #i cant do math #i cant feel #(i keep being cold tho i think thats also extra bc of my digestive issues with the iron deficiency) #and like today i tested with my spiky ball #and... i had an indentation from thw spikes for like 5 mins and now have red spots for the past almost 20 minutes #and i never felt a thing #my skin reacted to the ball pressing into thw skin but i can barely feel the spikes at all #even tho i logically know i should feel them sharp and slightly painful #but i cant #and thats not good #and i cant get myself to focus out of the disso at all #i almost thoight i was gettingg it but thwn i started getting nauseous af and my abdomen was hurting so that might be a reaosn #but idk #eithwr wya #yeah #im pretty disso #not enough to be dizzy and like unstable when i walk and all #but ugh #i hate it #ignore me #dissociation #mental illness #borderline

[stormy-nights-are-best]

The problem with balloons, obviously, is that they are both predictable and unpredictable. You know that they will pop, it's inescapable, but you can’t ever know for sure when. An example: the moment Snork opened his mouth to explain after successfully managing to regain his breath, a balloon interrupted him, exploding above that one tiny mymble’s head, which was the so-called ‘last straw’. He knew then; he was too late to defuse the ticking time bomb. OR, How the fourth episode of the third season (Inventing Snork) could have gone if a balloon had popped before Snork got a chance to do it himself. Snufkin and Snork have a proper meeting.

I just figured a nice Snufkin & Snork would do us all some good, so here you go.

AND YES - IF YOU'VE NOTICED, WHICH MEANS YOU'RE INCREDIBLE - THE COVER ART WAS MADE BY @laecandraw! Isn't it just marvelous? They beta read and helped me through the writing of this fanfic!

#THANK YOU SHIBUMI!! #i can't stop looking at Snork's fur #it's GLAMOROUS #and i like it that they're not standing too close to each other #because none of them likes physical proximity #you really did think through everything #Snork is one of the few characters that made me realize I should probably get a diagnosis #i have the privilege of living among three psychologists that certify all of my works before I post #if anybody needs 3 psychologists to certify anything just ask #yee we found another reason for snufkin to never eat in the series! #warm sifted lohikeitto would actually do great at night #balloons are awful #the snork #snorkmaiden #snufkin #moomintroll #autism #neurodivergence #meltdowns #sensory overload #moomins fanart but it's not mine #moomin fanfic #moominvalley #masterpiece

[lunarsapphism]

there really is something so devastating about having a parent that has a literal degree in psychology (specialized in child psychology) who worked as a birth to three child developmental resources coordinator for like fourteen years and knowing that because of those things, they will never believe you when you think you have something because they think they know more than you and also know you better than you know yourself. and in any scenario the only way they will EVER agree with you is if they came up with the idea of the diagnosis first. wild shit honestly

#i love my mom #i really do #however she fully does not believe i am autistic #although she does think i have depression/generalized anxiety/social anxiety/adhd/ocd tendancies/sensory issues/auditory processing issues #like girl. the umbrella diagnosis for these things is literally right fucking there. its autism #but no! she doesnt think thats right and she never says it directly to me but she makes it abundantly clear #she doesnt believe in self diagnosis even after multiple years of research. shocker #she really is holding onto that psych degree that she got 20 years ago for dear life #like bestie update your fucking research. this is literally your job. #when i go to u and am like woah this list is genuinely a record of like half of my literal personality traits but instead of being listed #as personality traits theyre characteristics of autism #u should be like wow! yeah youre right! thats crazy idk how i missed that but now we know! #not yeah. hm. we can go get you diagnosed if you want #(implying that she will take me to a psychiatrist to get diagnosed soley so that i can be proved wrong) #anyways. its just like. absolutely bonkers to me #aiilov-personal

[emeraldcreeper]

I can legitimately and without feeling like I’m faking it somehow self diagnose my autistic nature when my mom and grandma both say yeah I think you’re autistic and my mom thought for YEARS that I was possibly autistic and since I was born and grew up in the 2000s, girls aren’t diagnosed in childhood, and can’t get diagnosed in the 00s and I’d be classified as high functioning/low support needs cause I’m not nonverbal and not a boy who likes math and trains by stereotype, it’s hilariously funny that for years now I’ve been like slowly edging my way into saying/doing self diagnosis after researching like hell and taking the online assessments like I think raads and some other one like legitimate ones, figuring out I do have most of the traits from the diagnostic criteria, am shit socially and likely also have ARFID, a disorder dealing with sensory issues with food which is a autistic thing that occurs and I hate lights smells and sound most of the time even before the forever migraines I’m having now that make the existing issues 10 times worse

#I’m gonna gaslight gatekeep and girlboss my way into #a real diagnosis if I can prove it at my big age that I’m still probably autistic #because two reasons 1 to get my grandma off my back for not working/getting job #2 I want a real diagnosis for the sick benefits of getting accessibility stuff from school when I do my graduate level stuff #also with the extra haha funny but not really haha funny #sensory overload seems to be connected to migraines #I’m gonna retake some tests online today I guess #fuckin knew my grandma was taking about me the other day #she said effectively that she was looking at shit online and saw the autism spectrum stuff and effectively went huh that’s my grandkid #that’s WEIRD I should get their mom in on this when my mom thought that for decades and I’m here also going I’m probably autistic but #it’s not like my mom would corroborate it if I tried to get formally diagnosed I can mildly mask it too so like it’s not thaaat noticeable #w r o n g #she also thinks I’m autistic #and my sensory issues make sense through that lense

[justinefrischmanngf]

i feel so weird about how nice last night was not weird. but like. good ig. it was really sweet i cannot stop thinking about how sweet it was which is a very weird term to use when i sat observing most of the night and my manager clocked that i was and told me i should say something rude and call someone a cunt but it was sweet!!!!!

#i do think it’s the most socialisation i’ve done since like. being here #definitely with the most people and i think except for the few nights i stayed at a friends house #for less than pleasant reasons . it’s just the most socialisation i’ve done full stop….. #so maybe it has something to do with that like. maybe actually seeing people is good…… i was gna go to a gig tonight though and . fuck me #i’m so tired so idk if i will but i Could……. #it was just rly lovely it was really nice i felt like. idk. idek what i felt like bc it’s not really a friends situation #however it’s not really just a coworkers situation once u go out fucking dancing with them i feel #idek ! it was just sweet i felt like maybe i wasn’t such a terrible human being both in the sense of like being good at being a person and #being a good person……… #it was really fucking nice is all i’m saying i’m just saying i don’t think anyone hated me #i’m just so lucky like. idek. idk! i am amazed that i got this job because the job is fantastic for me #and i’m amazed that the people are people i get along with and feel comfortable with bc how the fuck do you get both #i also really think i should maybe get an adhd diagnosis at some point bc a couple ppl were talking about their adhd and i go back and forth #on whether or not i think i have it or if i’m just exaggerating but bro. it was sounding a lot like the former….

[tardis--dreams]

Lord give me strength to call this doctor's office tomorrow morning and ask the world stupidest question

#i know it's harmless and they probably deal with Really 'stupid' questions all day long #but i feel bad already for having to ask for their opening hours because there's Very conflicting information about that online #and they don't have a website (of course not) #but my mother had to pick up the report and needs to know when they're even open #it's such an annoying situation #just because that other doctor's office didn't manage to file away the report #because I'm sure they got it but they probably lost it or just threw it away or something #anyway #i need the report for my appt. on friday and i also kinda wanna have it for my own documents #i fucking hate the fact that patients don't get told shit here #like *I* want the report and the results! and i don't want a 'report on the report' #like 'it says you should take this and that now' #No i want fucking numbers/actual results and the exact diagnosis In Written Form #it should be fucking standard that patients get that report automatically #but alas we gotta make it as complicated as possible #i think i lost my point here #but uh #oh yeah #i don't wanna make that phone call #i always feel bad for taking up their time #but what can you do #gotta adult or something #also my mother showed me where that doctor's office is where i have to go on friday (like she drove me there) #and it looked so awfully far away from the train station and i have to walk there and i got scared because i didn't #want to take a whole damn hike there at 8 am #but apparently it's only 1.8km?! #i walk 3.2 km from my drom to the train station in my uni city and it's fine (most of the time) #so I'll probably only take 20 minutes or something so that's nice #(yeah no I'm rambling because i need to get some work done but don't want to lmao) #void screams

[bloodyke]

i hate when you can tell someone has a specific undiagnosed disorder but you can't bring it up to them bc you dont know whether they'll get offended and take it wrong or not.... like i dont mean it in a "you're crazy. freak. get help (insult)" way but in a "hey ive recognized some of the symptoms you're displaying and i think you should go get screened for x bc i know you have been struggling lately" way

#zenith.txt #this happens all the time with autism specifically bc i recognize those symptoms immediately bc of all my research i did to make #my diagnosis binder i could show professionals #this post was brought on bc i have a friend who i believe may have bipolar disorder and i really care about this person and i know that #getting treatment for that will improve their life quite a bit but i dont want them to take it the wrong way if i bring it up....... #i also recognize bipolar symptoms bc that was one of the differental diagnosises i ruled out for myself lmaoo #but yeah idk how to bring it up with them bc i dont wanna seem like im armchair diagnosing and bc bipolar is a 'stigmatized' disorder #maybe one day ill muster up the courage to say something #if you think this is about you its probably not BUT you should still research bipolar anyway to help destigmatize it <3 #knowing the symptoms & how they present in people can be beneficial in helping the people around you & for ruling out your own diagnosises #just to make it clear i dont like vaguing about my friends where they can see it if that eases any anxiety that its about you

[hilsoncrater]

#its getting so bad again #like really fucking bad #my therapist thinks my diagnosis is wrong and that i should get reevaluated #and that im more in line with schizoaffective than bipolar 1 with psychotic features #i havent taken any drugs in years and now 4 months off if my antipsychotic - #which i didnt think i needed btw - #im starting to lose grip on reality again #sometimes im lucid and sometimes im just So Deep In It #Spotify

[artekai]

oof

This song came for my whole life

#personal #i've been so good i've been helpful and friendly #i've been so good; why am i feeling empty? #i've been so good but it's still getting harder #i've been so good; where the hell is the karma? #i've been so good. i've been so good this year #(<- hasn't been nearly good enough but has been trying really hard!) #give me some diagnosis of why i'm so hollow #please give me instructions i promise i'll follow #wait don't go away; can i lie here forever? #you say that i'm better; why don't i feel better? #the universe works in mysterious ways but i'm starting to think it ain't working for me #doctor should i be good? should i be good this year? #(i ended up transcribing like half of the song asdfghgfd but it's just SO HHHHH *squeezes the song*)