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unnervinglyferal · 4 months

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I just randomly started thinking about how school totally fucked me up

Like I only went those like 2 years because I wanted friends

Bad decision

School just gave me more anxiety, depression, self esteem issues, trust issues, and to top it all off it gave me another bad friendship

School did not do anything new but it sure as hell just compounded everything

Like for some reason I got totally obsessed with the spelling tests

Not all of my grades, although I would absolutely hate it when I got below certain numbers in my grades, but specifically the spelling tests

I would memorize them perfectly because I had to get 100% on them

Of course that was completely unsustainable for a kid with undiagnosed and untreated ADHD

After one instance in which I cheated on one word to get the perfect grade I completely stopped giving a shit about the spelling tests

Of course by then I’m pretty sure I was dealing with the spawn of satan and her bitchy lackeys so that probably had something to do with it

Also the last few weeks of school were ass

I start public school at 3rd grade and lasted till the beginning of 5th

Not enough to count as 3 years though

My fifth grade teacher was a condescending bitch who gave zero shits about the 504 plan I had, punished everyone for one persons mistake, and the offense that personally offends me the most

OUR FUCKING SCIENCE HOMEWORK WAS DRAWING FUCKING BACTERIA, NOT EVEN SCIENTIFIC ONES JUST COLORFUL BLOBS, AND THE TEST THAT CAME WITH IT ASKED WHAT A FUCKING MICROSCOPE WAS

Okay that sounds like dogshit. In Finland public school is more or less mandatory, but at least it's mostly not bullshit and decent quality. The only exception that I can name being religions classes for kids who are not christian. Whatever you had to put up with was clearly a completely different animal.

Also I'm pretty damn sure that punishing a whole group for one person's mistake is just the indirect method to make the rest of the group punish that individual any way they deem necessary. The classic law-abiding "I am legally not allowed to beat the shit out of you, but now that I've ensured that the rest of this group hates you, I'm going to look the other way for 15 minutes."

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hivefleet-hellbender · 1 year

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Pink Horrors of Tzeentch, bound to copper masks

I've been building and painting the start of my Tyranids Hive Fleet for the past three months, and towards the end of November I realized I needed a break. Plus, I'd be traveling to an artist residency program in rural Colombia and I knew I'd want something else to do while I was there. So I decided to build a squad of pink horrors but with an eerie and minimalist twist.

Now if you've seen Games Workshop's Pink Horror models, you'd know they're pretty much dogshit. Their faces are more orkish than daemonic, they have these strange long proportions that don't have much weight to them, and despite their ever-shifting chaotic nature, they look like just a stack of little dudes they look like a stack of little dudes with more arms than usual. They’d fit better in an old Betty Boop cartoon than on the battlefield of the 41st millennium. My goal for this project was the present an aesthetic for Tzeentch that fits with my own taste in monstrosity — blank-eyed every-shifting mounds of flesh that hover on the boundary between symbolism and raw horror.

My journal quickly filled up with drawings of weird masked monsters in the margins. My inspiration came from cubism, along with movies like Mirrormask and Ruban Brandt: Collector. I also was heavily inspired by the copper face on the Abominable Intelligence by John at Ex Profundis. I got really into the idea of the masks as some sort of binding vessel for the Tzeentchian cultists, who could use the daemons as attack dogs by trapping them within copper plates. I wasn't sure if I wanted the models to be 40K or Age of Sigmar, so I tried to keep the designs agnostic and avoid any technology or mechanical bits.

I knew I wanted to use the pink horror model as a base, but that the number and consistent size of arms would be insufficient for my needs. To make sure my little guys had all the arms they needed, I picked up a box of Mantic Games Zombie Horde. This box comes with forty zombies, and most of the arms are perfect and usable, meaning I’ve got about 72 human-sized arms to accompany the much larger horror arms of my gribblies. Towards the end I also picked up a box of blue horrors, so that I can expand my Tzeentch army once I’m done with my infinite ‘Nids.

I made the mask from a couple different pieces of plastic. At first I used these clear disks I had, but they gave the models a “bobble-head” look which… I didn’t hate, but did obscure the size of the horror and make it look a bit too tiny. For later masks, I took the base of the zombie, tidied it up, and carved a face into it. I intentionally kept the faces very minimalist, focusing on just the bare necessities: two eye-holes, a little slit mouth, and a single haphazard nose.

I focused on a very improvisational building approach — using a base of either green stuff blob or a pink horror body, which I then superglued the mask onto and then applied as many arms and legs as I could reasonably manage. Often I would trim an arm straight off the spruce and barely clean it before attaching it on, meaning there's a few moldlines or sprue bits that I can't help but stare at. I think if I was to repeat this process I'd trim all the parts and set them aside before I even started working, but I also had no clue how this would go and was just enjoying the process as a way to decompress after a wildly hectic week.

Once the models were all done, I spraypainted them all white and tossed them in a box with me to Colombia, where they got damaged during transit and had to piece a couple back together with superglue.

I painted the bodies with two layers of Volupus Pink contrast paint, followed by a drybrush of 1 part Red to 3 parts White.

I painted the masks with Gunmetal followed by a wash of 1 part Orange to 1 part Mid Brown wash. Then I did a Dark wash with some streaking, followed by a Verdigris effect paint to get that gunky green rust effect at the edges of the copper.

I painted the jewelry and various instruments / standards gold, and did the gems in red with a pink highlight. I did the nails and teeth in white, the tongues in a very light pink mix, and the feathers a light green mix followed by a dark wash. I hope to return to the feathers later to give them more detail if I ever end up doing a Lord of Change, as in my head I imagine those feathers are small gifts from it to its most loyal minions. The fire is yellow, orange, and red, and the OSL was done by mixing the contrast pink with orange.

The bases are admittedly an afterthought — I'm in rural Colombia right now and so I can't finish them the way I want to. I'm planning to pick up some resin cobblestone bases and candles, so I can make the models look like they're inside a weird cultist basement, skittering around in the darkness. There's a lot of lessons I've learned for next time I paint models like these, and this was my first time working with contrast paint, but it was still a ton of fun and I'm proud of how they turned out!

#tzeentch #pink horror #daemon #warhammer 40k #miniature painting #squad #painting #masks #mirrormask #ruben brandt #28mmwargaming #kitbash

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theroyallypurple · 1 year

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I absolutely adore the way you draw Hassel and Larry! Would love to know if you have any hcs of them cause I love hearing others thoughts about them :D

AAAA THANK U IM GLAD U DO!!! also jeez buckle up I have a lot lmao I'll put them under a readmore These are some established ones I've written about before but not an exhaustive list!!

HEADCANONS… I have sO MANY UHHH LEmmie try to articulate some thoughts

Larry I imagine to be from Sinnoh but he moved to Unova as a tween. One parent is sinnohan and one parent is unovan, he got his staraptor when it was still a starly in Sinnoh. He’s moved around the world doing different jobs until finally he wound up in Paldea. He can speak many languages including but not limited to: Japanese (first language), English, Spanish, French, German

I imagine that he’s autistic (I might be projecting a little here lol) and he suffers form depression, but he isn’t medicated

He struggles to control his volume as part of his autism, he always speaks a bit too quiet and doesn’t raise his voice even when needed.

He has perfect 20/20 vision but has visual snow syndrome which causes a layer of static to be over his whole entire field of vision. He also has tinnitus that goes hand in hand with visual snow syndrome and he enjoys spending time in the treasure eatery not just for the food but because the sound of the patrons helps to drown out the high pitched tone inside his head. It gets louder when he's stressed

He has a tie collection, also he has a lot of novelty fun patterned socks and boxers (his choice of underwear is Not sexy)

He’s owned the same pair of shoes for many years and he knows he needs to get new ones, the soles of his current ones are worn out, but he hates shopping for new clothes and new shoes feel bad on his feet.

He has great colour vision and can discern colours very well, often telling the difference between colours that other ppl can’t see a difference in. His night vision however leaves much to be desired, when he looks at things in darkness they merge into a big staticky blob and he uses his phone torch when it gets too dark outside and there’s no street lights.

He wears a suit not only because it looks good but because it feels good. He likes the weight of the blazer on his shoulder and the familiarity of it makes him comfortable

He’s only 35 but started greying early, he can be very sarcastic when ppl worry about getting greys since he’s been going grey since his early 20’s

His first language is Japanese but he doesn’t get many chances to speak it so all his personal devices are set to Japanese. This results in people hearing him speaking to his phone in Japanese. Poppy sometimes plays games on Larry’s phone and has learnt some Japanese through exposure. This makes Larry happy and he teaches her Japanese, it’s good for her developing brain he says

He can cook well but he’s often too tired to cook so when he isn’t buying something from a restaurant it’s instant noodles for him.

He’ll also make egg fried rice with furikake sprinkled on top

His favourite colour is blue, his favourite flavour is lemon, his favourite sweet is lemon drizzle cake

He Hates being in front of the camera (which is why his gym photo is the back of his head) so he isn’t actually in many photos. When he’s out with a group he’s almost always the one behind the camera taking the photo. A few candid photos of him do exist but whenever he finds out someone has taken a photo of him he tells them to delete them, despite this there are some photos of him smiling when he thinks no one is looking

Speaking of, his expression is mostly flat and his smile isn’t what people would often consider a smile to be. His features soften and his mouth is in a smile but he doesn’t grin big or wide, he has trouble properly showing his emotions but people who know him are used to it

He’s actually very blunt and matter of fact, which some people don’t like, but he doesn’t see the problem because he’s honest

He’s tired a lot of the time and loves sleeping. He’s a cuddler and has a body length pillow that he hugs (is also helps his back to have it between his knees and align his spine) if you shared a bed he may fall asleep facing away from you but by the time you wake up he’s hugging you tight

He suffers from adult acne, he doesn’t really care how it looks but he hates when it gets itchy and painful. It’s something he’d rather not deal with and he can get breakouts when he’s particularly stressed (I actually wrote a fic abt Rika helping him with this!!)

He does use product to style his hair, he puts it in when his hair is damp and uses a hair dryer to put it into position. He’s so practiced that he can do it in just 5 or so minutes What he uses has a strong enough hold but as the day goes on his hair can become slightly disheveled which is easily fixed by running his hand through it, but it can leave a few strands out of place

I personally use fiber gum and my hair style is similar to Larry’s so I can see him using it too, of gives the hair hold while keeping it light and soft, maybe on longer days he'll use gel instead since it has a stronger hold but it doesn't leave the hair as soft or light

Larry wears cologne. During the day he wears a fresh scent, bergamot for those with a refined nose or simply “citrus” for those who don’t. It has a hint of a floral smell to it. Fresh he thinks, good for the start of the day If he ever goes out in the evening he wears a muskier smell: sandalwood, amber, patchouli Despite what scent he uses there’s the always faint hint of tobacco, he may try to cover it up but it’s a deep set smell that’s hard to get out of things His used pyjamas smell like sweat but he always smells nice when he goes out

Larry is good at singing but he wouldn’t believe you if you told him. After a few drinks he slays on the karaoke machine

Speaking of which his drinks of choice are whisky on the rocks and a sparkling sake

--------

For Hassel I have two headcanons of where he’s from. It’s fun to imagine him from Galar, I’m Scottish so I’m familiar with Galar and the tradition with the applin and him having a flapple on his team is very fun when u imagine it’s Brassius that gave him the applin.

On the other hand I think he could be German… Hassel is a German name and Germany is close to Spain and idk it feels kinda fitting

He’s classically trained in piano but he can also play the guitar, drums, ukulele, violin, trumpet, and also he can sing

He’s a very good cook, he’s no chef but he makes great homey food, his stews and soups are very comforting

He never learned how to use chopsticks and thus doesn't use them, but I like to think that one day Larry teaches him

He enjoys painting and sketching from life, he finds it fun and relaxing and enjoys the challenge of portraying something correctly He can produce photorealistic works but I also think he’d enjoy impressionism, he’d also enjoy life drawing

He has a wide collection of knitted tanks in many different colours and patterns

His favourite colour is burgundy, he likes rich foods with a lot of flavour and struggles to eat anything bland. highly textured food with no flavour makes him gag

He snores, not a loud obnoxious snore but a deep kind of snore that rumbles in his chest. It’s oddly comforting and can be likened to a cat purring (or a dragons growl…)

Hassel smells like home, warm and familiar!! I really like the idea of him having a deep woodsy smell, pleasantly pleasant musky that is his natural scent, not a dirty musk but something that’s nice and human. He’s always well groomed The cologne he wears is faint but pleasant, with a spicy yet faintly sweet scent and it complements his natural body odour Other times he smells like art supplies- paints, sealant spray, and the likes, something noticeably chemically

His alcohols of choice are real Scottish whisky, red wine, gin, and honestly he’d enjoy a beer lol. Brassius tries all kinds of weird flavoured craft beers and makes Hassel try them

He's a little soft under his clothing, his belly and chest having a little pudge, but there are muscles underneath and he's very strong

I kind of like the headcanon ppl have that Hassels natural hair colour is brown but he dyes it blonde... I don't always stick to that hc in my art (sometimes I draw his body hair dark, sometimes I draw it blonde) but it's fun!!

He's very comfortable with aging and sees beauty in it, he doesn't strive to look young forever or to "keep his beauty" he thinks all kinds of people look beautiful He's also very secure in his masculinity and isn't afraid of being emotional or showing emotion, or showing any other traits typically seen as more feminine he wants to be a good role model and show boys that it's ok to be emotional and like certain things

Hassel has a big d-

#ask #anonymous #pokemon #gym leader larry #elite four hassel

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lovesosweeet · 7 months

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better left unsaid // cth

chapter three

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn’t know.

chapter zero, one, two

july 13, 2018

los angeles, california

orion

—

There are just over two weeks until Calum leaves for tour. It'll be the longest time we've spent apart since before we knew each other.

Sure, the first few months of our "relationship" — if you could've even called it that then — were spent apart, but I saw him almost every weekend for the first couple of months I was in Spain, and then once I was back in LA, he returned shortly thereafter and the rest is history.

All that to say, I'm devastated that he's leaving. I keep trying to tell myself it'll be the perfect chance to focus on LSAT prep and really do well in my classes this semester, but it's hard when the one person you want to talk to at the end of every shitty day and the one who I want to tell about every essay I get a 100 on will be gone for four months. Living together has put us in such close quarters that any time apart feels stiflingly lonely.

Today hasn't been that different. We both woke up around the same time, but I stayed in bed while he got up and got ready to head to rehearsal. He took Duke out so I didn't need to get up until I wanted to, made himself some semblance of a breakfast sandwich, and gave me a kiss goodbye.

I didn't really want to get out of bed this morning. For some reason, I've been feeling sick almost every other week it seems. My throat is sore, my body just aches, and I feel feverish. It's not flu season, which makes me assume it's just a cold, but I don't understand why it keeps coming back, so I made an appointment at my doctor's office to see if it's a sinus infection or something that we can make go away with antibiotics.

I got dressed in a random t-shirt from Calum's pile of "not quite dirty, but also not clean" clothes and a pair of cotton shorts, washed my face, and then left the house. I stopped at Starbucks for a coffee on my way to the doctor, just to feel a bit more awake, even though I know I'll inevitably feel like a zombie.

When I get to the doctor's office, it's a blur of blood draws, questions from nurses and techs, blood pressure cuffs and other measurements. I've never liked going to the doctor, and today is no different. Normally, I'd have asked Calum to come with me, but with the tour so close, I didn't want to take away from an important workday — even though I know he would've come with me if I asked.

Finally, after waiting in the sterile exam room for what feels like a few hours but was likely only a maximum of 15 minutes, my doctor and a nurse enter the room.

"Good morning, Orion!" He cheerily says.

"Good morning," I say, far less enthusiastically.

"Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit under the weather. Just so you know, we're not seeing anything too alarming just yet, but we're still waiting on your blood panel to get analyzed by the lab." He's rubbing a fresh blob of hand sanitizer into his skin while the nurse makes notes on her pad. It all feels very impersonal, part of a protocol, and almost like no one has thought to even talk to me.

"I wanted to ask," he continues. "Have you ever had a sinus infection?"

"I've had one, yeah."

"What did that feel like for you? Did it feel like this?"

I think back, trying to remember. I'd gotten one after weeks of country-hopping, following Calum around on tour. The plane germs and travel fatigue had gotten to me. I felt horrible, but the main thing I remember was how badly my face hurt. "It was different, I had a lot of sinus pain, this is just more generally... sick? Does that make sense?"

My doctor nods, and the nurse stays silent while she keeps writing. "I understand. Well, given your symptoms and since we haven't heard back from the lab on your blood panel, I'm going to go ahead and prescribe you some antibiotics. While we aren't sure that it's a sinus infection, I'd rather go ahead and treat you for that than wait and do nothing and find out this was our best bet all along."

I nod, my mouth feeling too dry to speak.

The nurse coughs from out of nowhere, and then she and the doctor exchange a few glances that seem to have a lot more meaning than I could ever understand. Then the doctor turns back to me.

"We also noticed that bruise along your collarbone. Is that kind of bruising normal for you?"

Involuntarily, my eyes widen. I can't believe he's just asked me that. "Uh," I start, my cheeks hot. "My uh, boyfriend... it's, it's not a bruise." I cough. I guess a hickey is a form of a bruise, but still.

The doctor's facial expression is unreadable but both he and the nurse then share more glances. "Got it, we're just trying to make sure your chart has all of your symptoms."

—

I leave the office $150 poorer and with a prescription for an antibiotic that I don't think is going to help me, and no answers in hand. The LA traffic makes my drive home take almost an entire hour, and all I want to do is take a nap.

I pull into the parking garage at the apartment building that Calum insisted was the right choice, parking in my space next to Cal's empty one. Our cars stick out in the garage, both older, beat up, and not luxury brands.

Living here wasn't my choice, at least not fully. I'd found us a building where a lot of other UCLA students live, mostly the richer ones whose parents pay for everything, closer to campus, but Cal didn't feel like he'd be able to live there with its central location and lack of security. He doesn't get followed often, but when he does, he doesn't like to cause too big of a scene.

The building we do live in, though, I can barely afford to pay a quarter of the rent for. Cal insisted it was fine, he could pay the whole rent himself without issue, but I didn't feel right letting him do that. We have it worked out so that all I do is pay utilities and occasionally a few hundred toward the actual rent, which even still I have a hard time letting happen, but Calum basically refused to let me set up my account on the autodraft payment for the rent.

I know that sounds like something lots of people would love, not needing to pay any part of the rent, I just hate feeling like I'm taking advantage of Calum and our situation. He kept saying that my education was the most important thing and once I'm making money and out of debt I can contribute as much as I want.

Regardless, I feel out of place parking my shitty car and wearing a worn out, partially dirty t-shirt where I live. We've been here for almost a year and we still don't have any friends in the building. I've gotten pretty familiar with Ron, the main security officer in the lobby, but aside from that, we're only met with snobby glares and passive aggressive elevator encounters.

Ready to just go lay down, I enter the lobby, swiping my fob and dodging a neighbor wearing a suit who’s angrily talking on the phone. Ron is behind the desk in the lobby, as usual.

“Morning,” I call to him. He waves happily back and I keep walking. Normally I’d stop and chat, ask if he’d like me to bring him a coffee, but I just don’t have it in me today.

When I get up to our apartment, Duke is waiting for me at the door. I sigh, wishing I could just go lay down, but he needs to go out. I feel like a zombie as I trudge through the apartment, grabbing his leash and poop bags, hooking him into his harness and then going back to the elevator.

By the time I’ve taken Duke out and gotten back to the apartment, my whole body aches and begs to rest. I turn on the TV and just pick something random from Netflix for white noise.

“C’mere,” I tell Duke, curling into a ball under the massive fuzzy blanket Crystal got me for Christmas last year. I pat a space on the couch next to me, and he hops up, nestling next to me and quickly settling.

I sigh, finally at ease, and lean my head back against the pillows on the couch.

read next chapter

—

a/n: guys i’m so happy people are reading this 🥹 shorter chapter. just leading up to the good stuff!!

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #calum hood #ashton irwin #fanfiction #fanfic #5sosfam #5sos fanfic #calum imagine #calum x oc #boyfriend!calum

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damelceri · 5 months

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LONG Vent//rant

I wish I could've posted something special for the vtsom anniversary, it's such a special game for me but I couldn't get to finish the drawing for that day, not even for that week

I know I don't owe explanations, I'm not trying to "excuse" myself either, after all, art is something I do for fun and love, but it's exactly because of that that I want to share why I'm not able to post as much as I'd like to, I guess it's to get myself to understand what I've been doing and not feel as guilty for not being able to do everything all at once, I feel like this is a way of journaling

Last week was technically my last week of school; between exams and presentations and practices I didn't have time to even take care of myself or clean my workspace, it was a nightmare, I always try to have good grades but I hadn't realized I overworked my body to the limit until one morning my dad dropped me off school and when I was getting off the bike I collapsed to the floor from how tired I was (rmu victor style LMAO), thankfully it was only that one time but I'm still kind of sad that I got low grades on a few subjects

BUT HEY I GOT A PERFECT SCORE ON MY PRACTICES, YOU CAN TRUST ME WITH A SYRINGE BABYYY

Not everything was so bad though, that same week was my mom's birthday and i got her a cake

That same week, on Saturday I went to do social services to the beach and we got to see baby sea turtles

Just look at this lil baby!!!

But yeah, despite the good things that I'm so grateful I got to experience, my body is tired, I try to stay awake to make good use of my time but my body screams at me to lay down so I have no other option but to do so while I can

as of today I'm (finally!) on vacations although this past week I still had to go to school again to fill some papers and ask for other things and blah blah, but I'm technically free

Today I tried to practice coloring/rendering on digital because I never do that, and I think it's coming out really good

Even if I couldn't finish the anniversary art on time, I'll still like to finish it because I think it's a cute concept and I wouldn't want it to go to waste, although I'll do it after finishing this coloring practice, just so that it looks it's best

Here's how the practice coloring is coming out, I'm really proud of It because I always have trouble drawing hair that it's not just shapes and blobs

If ur still reading this, and I hope this wasn't a waste of time for you, (u even got a cute pic of a turtle!), either way, this was something I needed to share so thank you so much for sticking with me, ur the best :]

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kiisaes · 2 years

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How do you draw anatomy so well? Please tell me your secret🙏🏾

If you actually respond/pay attention to this---

Thank You!

thank u for thinking my anatomy is good! ;o;

my "secret": i've been drawing bodies since like 2nd grade, and more "seriously" since 7th grade. i've done a multitude of live drawing studies (drawing nude figures in various poses) which helps way more than you could imagine. i'm an art nut so eventually i improved through sheer work; my body saw how much i was drawing, aka repeatedly bashing my head in a wall, and was like "ok FINE u can get better at art i guess" LOL

anyway, i never know how to answer this question properly because different artists have different approaches to anatomy. the way i draw a body might not make any sense for anyone else, and vice versa.

i've seen youtube videos that are like "DON'T do this! DO this!" and because there's so many of them, they constantly contradict each other. it gets so damn overwhelming because there's no way you can follow all advice provided to you, much of which are from stuck-up artists who think their way is the only right way. there is no only right way to draw!!! please remember that!!!

that being said, here are my tips that might help you, because they happen to help me:

1—

separate the body into shapes! when sketching, i tend to draw my limbs with blob-like "cylinders"/ovals and joints with circles, like so:

these look like messy mannequin limbs, but they get the general vibe down for me. not to mention, they apply weight to body parts by implying muscle/fat. i used to draw with lines and circles, but this subconsciously made me draw arms and legs a lot skinnier and "bone thin" than i preferred. even though these are just sketchy base doodles, it makes it easier for you to build more detail on top of them!

2—

if you want personality in your pose, a great way to allude to that is by using a line of motion! for me, these usually manifest with the spine:

...but they can also apply to the rest of the body by extending past the pelvis. it's up to you! but a general spine/line of motion, even if just a scribble, can imply a different emotion and pose quite simply. i like to draw the torso and line then add arms and legs, sometimes based entirely on vibe LOL

3—

and honestly the BEST piece of anatomy advice i can give you... is to KEEP DRAWING!!! study figures over and over again, go to live figure drawing sessions (or use an online site, there's a handful of free ones), draw a pose you made yourself in the mirror, study the anatomy pros from art books or tutorials, watch shows or animations or hell, comics — actually PLEASE read comics, often times you'll find a cool pose just there for you to analyze and draw — you get the idea! even though i told you these tips, they won't actually mean anything unless you put in the work.

i know "just draw" is a very basic piece of advice that's kind of a duh point, but it sincerely works. i took a figure drawing class my 3rd semester of art school and it helped me leaps and bounds — all it did was have us draw figures over and over! you can get advice from a thousand different artists, but ultimately what matters is what works for YOU. and you won't know what works for you if you don't draw! i know it can get discouraging if you keep drawing and drawing and you're not getting the results you want, but art is a gradual process. i still continuously struggle with art but i'm really glad i improved leaps and bounds in the past couple years, bottom line, i feel more comfortable with drawing bodies, and it's all thanks to my hard work! (or perhaps my relentless fear of failure, which forces me to keep drawing so i don't fall behind lol)

i hope these helped even a little bit!!!!! just remember: anatomy takes a LONG time to figure out and perfect, and any kind of progress is valuable progress! there also isn't one correct way to draw bodies; just use what works for YOU to achieve what YOU want :)

#a bunch of random paragraphs incoming!!!!! woohoo!!!!!!!!#i'm an art student of course i'm going to blurt art advice and nonsense words when given the chance #asks for becki #art help

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charley-and-the-swap-machine · 1 year

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CATSM: RE-INK'D (Chapter 4, Part 2)

bertie

The Voice Of Bertrum Piedmont

For forty years, I've built attractions that stagger the imagination! Colossal wonders such as the world has never seen!

I have earned my legacy with sweat.

But right in front of everyone—high level investors, Wall Street tycoons—the ever-tactless Joey Drew introduces me, the great Bertrum Piedmont, as Bertie!

Like I was his child.

You may be paying me, Mister Drew, But you don't own me! I'll build you a park bigger than anything YOU could ever possibly conceive!

But before you go taking any bows, Mister Drew, know that this grand achievement will belong to me...

And to me alone.

--------------------------------

Henry stood before the broken cart lift that connected to the other side of the chasm. Well, something's definitely missing here. Let's see...

He turned and walked, stopping at a corridor nearby and staring deep into it.

Looks like more exercise for me.

After a while of walking, Henry found himself standing before a large metal pipe, ascending out of the room. What the hell is this thing doing down here?

Noticing a switch in the room, he flipped it and watched as the pipe slowly rose open, revealing a vat of bubbling, gooey ink.

"Huh. Now what do I do?"

Grabbing and turning the large valve wheel that caught Henry's eye, a large, swollen searcher from the higher levels soon rose from the vat with a low groan. He thought back to the cavern from before. Hey...wait. I'm sure I saw something that needed ink...

Henry rolled up his sleeve, reached his hand out to the ink monster, and cringed as he grabbed a hold of a lump upon the searcher's swollen body. It made a low, mournful noise as Henry pulled his closed fist away from it, and the ink monster sunk back into the vat.

That was easier than I thought it'd be. He thought to himself, opening his fist and examining the sticky blob in his hand. Haha, gross. It's like a little slug. He poked it slightly with his free hand, drawing it back sharply when it began pulsing in response.

Closing his fist back up, Henry made his way back to the darkness.

Henry shook his hand around slightly in order to free the sticky blob from his hand, watching it drop into the labeled "Ink Maker". He turned the disc on the side to see the different things that it could supposedly "create". Should I really be surprised at this point?

The different symbols showed a heart, some sort of cloud symbol, a radio, a bone, a plunger, a pipe, and finally, a gear. Henry stopped flipping the wheel it at the final symbol, and turned the lever on the other side.

The machine churned away for a small bit until the open chest-like box coughed out a large gear. He grabbed it and held it in his hands, turning it around to examine the details.

It seemed to be a perfect replica of a gear, right down to the texture as Henry ran his fingers across it. He went to the lift and placed it on the corresponding place, watching as the lift automatically began moving to the other side, slowly but surely.

He put one foot in, then the other, and then slowly eased himself into the cart. He didn't want to break it, after all. As soon as he settled himself in, the lift came to life by itself once more, sluggishly whirring across the dark abyss below.

Boy, this thing hasn't been used in a while, huh?

About halfway across the chasm, the lift soon came to a stop, leaving Henry suspended in the air. He left his stomach lurch and his heart rate quicken, but before he could think to do anything the lift came back with a rusty screech as it made its way to the other side, halting at the platform.

He gave a few dry heaves and steadily pushed himself out of the cart, stepping onto the platform and opening the door on the other side, shutting it behind him.

It was a simple, empty hallway, paint worn and peeling off of the sides. Henry took one step forward, and lurched back as another hallucination gripped his mind.

Thousands of inky hands were bursting out of the walls, reaching for and grabbing at Henry as he desperately tried opening the now-locked door. It soon came to an abrupt stop as he stood there cowering.

He stumbled his way to the other side, gripping the door handle and swinging it open.

It seemed to be a lounge of some sorts, a balcony overhead. He heaved himself onto a couch nearby, but his rest was soon interrupted by a familiar fizzle of the intercoms.

"Oh, Henry..." The angel said in a mocking, sing-song tone. "Having a bit of trouble, are we? Maybe it's the brain damage from...mmm...when I dropped you in that elevator...."

"What keeps you going, I wonder? What makes you not want to die?" The spider paused for a moment before continuing. "Ohh, I remember now...you're looking for your widdle ol' friend, aren't you? Well....better hurry up, creator. Time's running out..."

The speakers went off with a pop, and Henry gritted his teeth in response. God damned angel.

"Why can't he just go and leave me alone already?"

Henry's frustration was interrupted by an unknown voice speaking from the balcony. He turned to see an inky, skeletal figure, mouth replaced by a drool-like slime dripping downwards and eyes glowing bright yellow. It had a youthful male's voice, blubbering with sadness. "He always finds me, wherever I go! He-He's going to find me! They're going to find me, a-and...! I j-I just want to go home....WHEN DO WE GO HOME!?"

The balcony creature covered his face and gave a few sobs.

"Um....he-hello? Are you...are you okay...?" Henry called out to him.

The Lost One gave an exclaim as he noticed Henry. "Oh, I'm sorry, I-"

"Y-YOU! You can- You can take my place!"

Henry was perplexed. "...Huh?"

The Lost One looked around frantically. "They...they're gonna do something awful to me...they- they want me to go in there, and...H-Hey, can you do me a f-favor? Go and....go and take my place." He begged. "I..I-I promise I'll try and...make it up to you..!"

"What do you me-"

"I HAVE TO GO!" He shouted, running off and leaving Henry alone once more.

Well, that was weird. He thought to himself, opening the door in front of him and facing a million of the same glowing eyes from before.

...What the actual fuck?

#batim au #batim #bendy and the ink machine #batim henry #henry stein #batim edgar #the butcher gang #butcher gang #‟pen to paper‟ 📽️

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katatonicimpression · 2 years

Text

I've been thinking about how someone could probably, credibly argue that what they did with x-men green, and somewhat with the feminist themes in marauders, Duggan has presented an alternative to the vapid centricism that's frequently present in marvel comics. Like, what he writes isn't a both sides thing, it isn't respectability and civility - this is characters taking radical action.

This imaginary argument has entranced me and I'm just going to ramble about it

Fundamentally, I think this doesn't work as a defence of this writing. For a start, it's bad anyway. Like, the issues with the structureless self-indulgent blob of a story that is Marauders 2019 don't go away if you somehow manage to salvage the politics of it. Secondly, the "white feminist" vibes of Marauders are still not resolved by this defense. The fact that the series goes out of its way to retcon in victimhood of wealthy, villainous white women while ignoring the canon abuse of the queer men in the cast, while sidelining the poc and being just shamelessly "girl boss" in the least appealing way... that's all still true, yeah? Yeah. Yes, it is.

But like I've said before (I think?), if you enjoyed the feminist themes of the series, then great! Like, I'm glad you had a good time. Not everything has to be politically perfect to still have positives. Similarly with the eco-terrorist fantasy of X-Men: Green. If it works for you, go nuts.

But obviously, it didn't work for me.

I think the problem stems with the portraying of violence and specifically how it is framed in the story. So, the duggan-written x-men: green story centers around Nature Girl and Curse killing random men who are employed in industries that harm the environment. These killings are presented as triumphant moments, albeit dark ones. And at the end of the run, Krakoa itself (and Doug) is like "dw babes you did nothing wrong." But no. They're just killing random dudes and failing to help anybody.

It's not radical leftwing action, it's the vapid centrist idea of what radical leftwing activism is, right? They are literally being the "villain who has a good point but kills people so I guess he's bad", but being framed as the hero. The actual problem (i.e. presenting those who would try to bring about urgent change as inherently dangerous) is still there. So, yeah. I really don't think this would hold up as a defence of (duggan's run of) x-men green, because ultimately it buys into the same bullshit dichotomy.

Marauders has a similar problem, although it's less central to the story. Emma and Kate's "epic" takedown of Shaw is really brutally violent and entirely one-sided (for reasons that make no sense but whatever. It's not how his powers work. Plot hole. Ding.) and leaves him one-eyed and requiring a wheelchair to move. This is drawn out over several issues. And yes it does read as staggeringly ableist. The use of a wheelchair as punishment? It's just... I...

Duggan in general has an issue with the framing of violence in his stories. Elsewhere in Marauders, he has Bobby freeze a room full of guys, seriously hurting them, out of revenge/protectiveness over Kate. Which is fine as a dramatic moment, it's in character. But then later, one of those guys confronts him about how he literally froze his arm off and Bobby is like "wevs". That's weird, that's a weird way for a person to feel about that. Later, he has Bobby picking fights with random ice giants and presents it as fun and triumphant but no...? Starting fights on purpose? That's just a dick move. Or in X-Men, the controversial "Lorna puppeteers Laura's body" thing. It's clearly supposed to be comedic, but he draws it out over an entire comic and it just feels gross and nasty. Duggan is bad at framing violence in his stories. It's partly just forgetting that in-universe, the violence is real and has real consequences (so people should actually care more), and partly a problem imparting tone (things that are supposed to be fun don't feel fun).

So, the problem isn't really that our heroes (Kate and Emma) are being violent, but specifically the portrayal of it. It's presented as wholly triumphant and fun, when what we're being shown is really kind of rough. It's the tone problem. But if you were to interpret this as a radical feminist (like, "radical and feminist" not, like, "radfem") statement, then it's just nuts. Is this how we solve misogyny? No, obviously not. Like, this isn't a solution to anything and it just makes stuff worse.

So, the obvious thing to say here is that, well, the imaginary person I'm arguing against and I are both making the same mistake here. Neither of these stories are manifestos. They're exploitation stories. It's revenge fantasy. It's not a recommendation for action but rather an expression of anger at the system. This is true and tbh it's a very good point.

I think that exploitation (especially sexploitation) revenge narratives are really hard to get right. It's a delicate thing in general, and very subjective. Something might work amazingly for one person and be just offensive and awful to someone else. I, personally, don't find comfort in violent fantasies very often. It's not that I don't have those thoughts so much as they usually make me feel worse. But there are plenty of these types of stories that I do like, so idk maybe this is one of those times where it isn't working for me, but could be working well for someone else.

However, I do think the points about how violence is presented and framed are still relevant. What makes a revenge fantasy satisfying is really feeling the heroine's pain, feeling that her actions are justified, and being able to watch and enjoy without thinking "no, that's actually pretty nasty."

And, just circling back to what this was originally about, if you're not showing radical leftist action as actually doing anything good, then you're not doing a good job at endorsing it.

#even tfatws managed that one #omg this is so long #why #why did i write this #salt

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arlenianchronicles · 3 years

Photo

Throwback with a redraw! We’re returning to one of my favourite kidnap fam pieces, Fire and Smoke / Wrath and Grief, and giving it a revamp! (Sept 19, 2020 vs June 4, 2021)

With this one, I decided to show the Fëanorians’ eyes as a way to show their emotion, but hopefully also portray how the twins could potentially see them. I also went with an hourglass shape because ... Well, the Fëanorians must feel like they’re on borrowed time now, especially with the small period of respite that they have with the twins.

And I also think it looks cool! You can cover the top or bottom half and interpret the story differently, if you’re not already familiar with the Silmarillion loll (like Maedros holding a sword and looking murderous, as opposed to him carrying a child in the safety of his cloak -- and when you put them together, you get the Third Kinslaying lmaoo).

I also added closeups of the twins, especially for Elrond XDDD Gotta remove the cloak to show off his blob roumdness! :DDD

These will be up as prints in my Inprnt shop if anyone’s interested!

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