#i think we are going to put all of our poems together in a sort of ZINE

[cambion-companion]

matey. I have this cute soft idea if you're interested in writing it ofc. basically fem reader where she's a lady of noble blood and knows aemond since they were kids. but there was always this awkwardness around them which slowly turned into disgust (lol bish why you lying, why you always lying) one day she's with helaena or lady friends and they ask her who she would marry from court if she had to choose which she replies with "I would marry aemond in a heartbeat" forgetting that she said that out loud with aemond overhearing it somewhere hiding behind a pillar or something lol. and the next day she keeps questioning herself why aemond is suddenly wearing his nice clothes, helping her with something? and then when she wants to bid him goodnight he replies with a sneaky "I would marry you too in a heartbeat" which ends with her all flustered or something lol. idk what this is honestly, It just popped into my head.

Hi dearest! I'd love to write a lil something based on this lovely prompt!

Aemond x reader | fluff | Aemond being as discreet as a car backfiring

Laughter surrounded you, the ladies you sat with in the fragrant gardens tittering to each other, blushes upon their dimpled cheeks. You set aside your book of Old Valyrian poems and leaned in conspiratorially. "Okay Rosaline, your turn. Who would you marry?"

Rosaline, a lovely curvy girl around your age with russet curls and a freckled face, laughed harder. "I cannot say, lady Y/N. Though lord Jason Lannister is rather easy on the eyes is he not?"

You shrugged. "If you go for that sort of pomposity, I suppose."

"Well, who do you fancy, Y/N?" Rosaline asked, huffing at you with slightly narrowed brown eyes.

You hesitated, all eyes now upon you, growing more curious with each second of silence.

"Well? Now you have to tell us!" A girl with straight brown hair piped up, her doe eyes mischievous. "You were so eager to hear our own secrets!"

"I...I've always. Well. Prince Aemond if you must know." Your fingers clasped together upon your lap, so tight your knuckles went white.

There was a beat of stunned silence, then the girls lapsed into another fit of giggles.

"Prince Aemond?" Rosaline choked.

"Haven't you been friends since you were children?"

"I thought they went for their siblings?"

"He doesn't have an eye, Y/N! How could you possibly think he's a suitable match?"

"Excuse me." You said rather flatly. "When any of you ride the largest dragon in Westeros, then you can talk."

"He is rather easy on the eyes." A Tyrell girl spoke in a thin voice. "Though I've heard rumors circulating he is rather callous and keeps to himself."

"He's not callous." You defended. "Though we do have our disagreements."

"Oh yes!" Rosaline tittered again. You fought the urge to smack her. "I've heard you two have been at odds the past few weeks. Lover's quarrel?"

"I-we are not-where did you hear...you know what it doesn't matter." You rose abruptly, forgetting the book beside you on the bench. "Aemond alone is worth a hundred times more than all of you put together. I would marry him in a heartbeat."

"What's under that horrid eyepatch he wears?" A sneering Lannister lady sniggered.

"Something far more interesting than what's under your garish skirts!" You shot back, a shocked silence following your impetuous outburst.

You cast one last scorching look over the gathered women, before gathering your dress and taking your leave of them, face burning.

You retired to your chambers, skipping the dinner feast, not wishing to see those girls again that day. You were still fuming. It was true, you and Aemond had not spoken since a heated argument a few weeks prior. However, this was not the first time you two had been at odds. Nor would it be the last, you reckoned.

A soft knock at your door roused you from your contemplation beside the fire. You rose from the sofa, crossing the carpeted floor and swinging the heavy oak door open to reveal Aemond standing in the doorway.

"Oh!" You said, too surprised to come up with anything witty.

"Walk with me?" Aemond held out his arm for you to take. His hair looked like it was freshly brushed, shining silver in the torchlight as he guided you down the hall into a deserted courtyard.

The evening air was alive with birdsong, the sky above a shock of orange and red as the sun made its western descent.

"I came to apologize." Aemond said as the two of you meandered out into the gardens you had spent your afternoon in.

"Apologize? You? Be still my heart!"

"Don't make me regret it, Y/N." The prince groaned, releasing your arm and turning to you, the vista of the city's red roofs and the sparkling sea framed behind him. "I behaved...rather appallingly and I regret not coming to you sooner."

"You were a bit of an ass, tis true." You smiled impishly at the way he fought down a grimace at your words.

"As if you were any better."

"I was right." You folded your arms across your chest.

Aemond clasped his hands tightly behind his straight back. "It is a matter of opinion whether Dorne is more progressive than us."

"No, Aemond. I'm afraid that's a fact."

Aemond breathed hard through his nostrils; you watched with interest as he collected himself. "I came to apologize not to argue further."

He opened his jacket and pulled out a small box from a pocket within. "And to give you this as a sign of my...remorse."

You squinted at him. "Did your mother tell you to say that?"

Aemond didn't answer, his brow raising at you as he gestured for you to take his gift. You lifted the box from his palm, undoing the string and opening it. A silver brooch lay within, bearing the insignia of your house. Small finely crafted letters spelled out your house words below the image.

"It's quite lovely, my prince." Your face softened as you took it out and fasted the piece to your bodice. "I will wear it with pride. Thank you."

Aemond graced you with a genuine smile, his eye lingering upon the pin now secured above your heart. You tracked his gaze with interest as it roved across your curves before snapping guiltily back up to your face.

"See something you like?" You teased, flashing a grin at him.

Aemond didn't answer, though he held your gaze as you stepped closer, noting how the breath caught in his throat at your sudden proximity. Your brow furrowed as you looked at the odd expression on his face, nothing you had seen there before.

"Are you well, Aemond?"

"No." Aemond shook his head. "Let us continue our walk."

The two of you walked side by side around the gardens, the deepening twilight enveloping you, stars unveiling one by one in the dusky sky. Your knuckles brushed against Aemond's, you extended your pinky, hooking it around his. Heat rose to your face as Aemond's fingers slid to tangle with your own, your hands intertwined as you strode along the path back to the Keep.

He did not break his grip on you, even as you stood again before your chamber door.

"This is where I bid you a good night, Y/N." He spoke softly.

"Yes, it is." You sounded breathless, not pulling away as he turned to face you directly, leaning down as he brushed his lips to the back of your hand.

"Y/N?"

"Yes, Aemond?"

"I would also marry you in a heartbeat."

You stopped breathing. He had overheard the whole exchange in the gardens. Blood rushed in your ears as, wide eyed, you watched as Aemond lingered long enough to take in your expression before he turned on a booted heel and strode down the hallway.

Gathering your wits once more, you shouted after him just as he reached the corner. "Aemond!" He halted, looking back at you with ill-concealed amusement. "Get back here or so help me..." You pointed to the ground in front of your door.

"We can continue this discussion tomorr-"

"No. No, you don't get to say something like that and just walk away." You hissed, leaving your chamber open as you stomped down the hallway to where he stood waiting, his lilac eye sparkling with delight.

Aemond took your forearms in his hands when you reached for him, pulling you in so quickly you stumbled, falling against his chest. "You overheard me today?" You asked, looking up at his angular face as his fingers traced your jaw.

"Mmm. I did indeed. You're quite the sight in your anger." His eye glittered. "Even more enchanting when it's on my behalf."

"They were wrong to say such things." You breathed, your voice only a whisper as the distance between your faces slowly closed.

"I rest easy knowing I have a champion in you, to defend my honor." Aemond chuckled, his breath tickling your lips.

You weren't sure who moved first, or if it was simultaneous, but you felt the press of his mouth against yours, your eyes fluttering closed as your hands buried themselves in his silken hair.

He moved against you, backing you up until you hit the wall, a gasp at the impact opening your mouth to him as he began exploring you with his slick tongue. The scent of him surrounding you, the feel of him caging you in, pressing his knee between your thighs, drew a soft whimper from your lips that he drank down with relish.

"Do that again." He murmured, tugging your hair until you exposed your throat to his touches.

"Make me." You smirked at the arched ceiling, quickly losing what little composure you had won back as he took your challenge to heart.

Aemond made you emit many more sounds of pleasure throughout the course of that night. Stifling your cries with his large hand at one point so as to not alert any nearby guard patrols. With the promises of a lifetime together to come he claimed you as his own, swearing in return to be yours until his dying day.

#aemond x you #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen fanfic #aemond fic #aemond x y/n #prince aemond x reader #aemond smut #aemond imagine #aemond drabble #aemond oneshot #hotd x reader #hotd x you #aemond fluff #aemond fanfic #aemond stannies #aemond one eye x reader #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen scenarios #hotd aemond #hotd aemond x reader #hotd smut #aemond one eye #hotd fanfic #aemond fanfiction #aemond #aemond hotd #aemond the kinslayer

[poetrysmackdown]

some informal thoughts

hello! hope the holiday season has been kind to all of you. and i hope all my jewish followers had a lovely hanukkah! anyways, since i said a few months ago that i’d pick poetry smackdown back up sometime around this time of year, i thought i should make a post. the gist of it is that i’m still quite busy, i have a break that’s about three weeks shorter than I was planning on, and i don’t currently have the mental bandwidth required to read, contemplate, and sort through poem submissions in a way that does justice to them, even if i were to recruit some friends to help out. since running a tournament format requires at least five weeks of continued engagement once it’s underway, and since i’m not at capacity to offer that right now due to the change in my schedule, i’m gonna have to bow out for now. sad bc i was looking forward to it!

my hope is that i’ll have some more time over the summer to hunker down with it, in which case you’ll be hearing from me. it’ll frankly depend on the kind of job i land in for the summer, but i find that my unemployed spirit can typically keep me doing stupid shit regardless of workload...to a point. i don’t want to make any promises because i don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up just to let them down again LOL. i do admit the amount of exposure the first tournament got has made me feel like more of a perfectionist this time around, doubly because i don’t feel that i’m very suited to being a public online presence (even a relatively quite small one)—i’m bad enough at responding to emails for my own real life responsibilities, let alone tumblr asks for the silly responsibilities i invent for myself lol. that’s not to say i no longer want to do it, or i don’t enjoy it, or even that i don’t feel capable of making a really interesting bracket—just that if i am working to put something new together, and if people are taking the time to submit poems they care about, then i don’t want to half-ass it.

my second admission is something like this. I made the original bracket as a celebration of poetry and our relationships to it. yes it was silly and competitive, and the poems were very tumblr, but still, celebration was the intention—I wanted to have conversations about poetry. I stand by the bracket format as a fun and valuable way to foster conversations about poetry, but truthfully, the poems i’m wanting to have conversations about right now—the poems that we should be talking about right now—are ones that i'm not comfortable putting in a bracket. I reblogged The Baffler’s Poems from Palestine collection on here earlier, and Najwan Darwish’s “Who Remembers The Armenians?”, which I still often find repeating through my head when I'm traveling from one place to another, walking home or riding the bus. I came across this beautiful thread recently where people have been translating Dr. Refaat Alareer’s “If I Must Die” into their own languages (this just makes my translator's heart sing!!!!!!). @havingapoemwithyou has been posting some great poems from and for Palestine as well—check out their tag here.

There's always more to add, and I'll be posting more on here as I come across it, but that's what I feel anyone should be focusing on right now when it comes to poetry. i think poetry can be an escape but it should never be a distraction. does that make sense? i wouldn't be against doing a one-off poll here or there, but it feels weird to be making a tournament for poetry right now, or anytime soon. i feel like what free time i have right now is still best utilized helping my friends with organizing in the real world. and god, a bit off-topic but while I'm talking, fuck poetry foundation—I have so much respect for all the poets keeping up the boycott, because while i think it's a simple decision, it's not always an easy one (Aurielle Lucier discussed that here).

anyways, if you read all of this, thank you for your time!! I could go on and on, but really this was just meant to be a message telling y'all that there won't be another tournament for a while lol. even so i'll be trying to use this small silly platform as best i can until palestine is free because that's the absolute least i can do.

#not a poll #also i'm closing my ask box for now because i know i don't have the bandwidth to answer anything rn. sorry :( #but feel free to reply here with your thoughts and any resources and i'll do my best to respond #or even messages might be fine. something about the ask format just gives me anxiety sometimes lmao #cannot stress this enough i am so so so bad at responding to things #even when i want to or enjoy doing it

[maniculum]

Bestiaryposting Results: Raggfong

This week's beast was the Raggfong, much to the dismay of everyone who is sick of birds. Again, sorry, there are a bunch... and the random distribution put a clump of them in December/January, so it's going to get worse before it gets better. If it helps, imagine it's some kind of ritual to empower the birds currently eating the Gävle goat. Or maybe a "Twelve Days of Christmas" sort of thing -- we've already had the partridge.

Also again please forgive me if I fail to string sentences together properly -- still sick. Covid, actually, turns out. The brain fog is difficult; almost forgot I was supposed to do this today.

Anyway, here is the link to the entry that our artists are working from:

(Why did I redact the Greek and Latin names for the coot? I'm not making any effort to hide its identity... baffling choice on the part of Past Me.)

And if you have no idea what this is about, you should take a look at https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting for an explanation and previous entries.

As usual, art will appear in roughly chronological order under the cut.

@elodieunderglass (link to post here) responded days before anyone else with this image, which successfully conveys a lot of emotion in my opinion. Those are some very communicative facial expressions on the birds. I particularly like the coot, and how it's positioned to shield the chick from the sun. The real gem here, however, is the text of the post linked above, which I would describe as a prose poem about the bird depicted. I'm genuinely a bit blown away by it -- go click the link and read it for yourself.

@embervoices (link to post here) has got some kind of effect going on here that I don't know enough about art to describe, but I like the way it looks. Her post mentions the phoenix connection, which I think comes through pretty clearly in the design and pose. The linked post explains some design decisions, including which real-world birds were the inspiration for this one.

@silverhart-makes-art (link to post here) helpfully specifies that this Raggfong is resting on a bed of sea kale. The design of this bird is very good, I think, conveying a certain gravity one does not always associate with seabirds. I also like the effect created by the background; it kind of looks like it's the cover for something, you know? The linked post explains the various birds from which the artist borrowed features and why, and also discusses the evocative nature of the entry this is based on -- I'm glad people are enjoying that aspect.

@rautavaara (link to post here) has made the executive decision that this bird is actually a frog, and the drawing is frankly too pretty for me to have any kind of problem with that. Look at that border. And the wonderful color palette. Also there's a flying frog, which is very cool.

@cheapsweets (link to post here) notes an emerging theme in these entries that birds (except coots) are jerks. I honestly can't remember how consistent that theme is across all the birds... I know there are some the author likes, but there are also definitely going to be additional Birds That Are Jerks in future. I like the crown-like crest on the Raggfong, and I'm impressed by the dedication involved in doing all those little body feathers with a fountain pen. Also, if you look closely, you'll see that one of those chicks the adult Raggfong is carrying has been shown staring off in the same direction as its parent, while the other has its head turned and its eyes closed, meaning we can expect it to join the coots off to the right... and there's already a young Raggfong there, too. The linked post contains a detailed explanation of design decisions, which you should go check out. (Also, thanks again for providing alt text.)

@coolest-capybara (link to post here) has employed her usual medieval stylization to depict a Raggfong inspired by an albatross (on the grounds that they are a seabird with "judgy" eyes... you know, I can see it). I am absolutely delighted by the scrungliness of the chick being shown here, which does indeed have the "muppet made from dryer lint" quality of a real albatross chick. They have also included a series of pictures that show the whole life cycle, which I've decided (after substantial back-and-forth) to not copy over here as there's a certain color-of-the-sky quality there, but which I strongly encourage you to click on the link and look at for yourself. I particularly like that the coot in the "life cycle" picture appears to have a couple Ilyechams in her flock in addition to the new Raggfong.

@moustawott (link to post here) describes their Raggfong as a gannet mixed with an eagle, and it looks pretty majestic, honestly. The background really enhances that effect, and I think it makes a much more entertaining contrast with the two little chicks being carried below. There's a certain severity to the design that I think is fitting.

@pomrania (link to post here) has ditched the whole "coot" thing for a more direct interpretation of the Raggfong's "common counterpart", which they deem the "Ritchfong". I kind of like the idea of two related species of bird that the human observer has interpreted to have class divisions. The crest on the Raggfong is also a very appropriate touch, I think. The linked post contains additional detail on design decisions, and links to some process images, so go check that out.

@treesurface (link to post here) has decided that the Raggfong should actually be a sort of insect that people mistake for a bird, which I think is quite clever. They explain their reasoning for that a bit more in the linked post, along with some other notes on design and execution that I think are worth reading. I really like the concept that the "unmoving wings" are elytra, and the kind of glittering quality that they suggest here. (I also appreciate that they provide their own alt text.)

@karthara (link to post here) has drawn a Raggfong in several scenarios to express the behavior described in the entry. I really like the overall design here, with the feathery tufts on its head. Also charming is that one flying up near the sun -- it looks so happy to be on fire. The linked post explains the design decisions and the real-world birds from which karthara has taken inspiration. They also mention they included the coot chicks after looking them up and seeing how colorful they are, so I did a quick google and found this great headline:

(Tl:dr coot parents show preference for more colorful chicks, so the later the chick hatches, the more colorful it is, allowing it to compete with its larger, older siblings for food and attention.)

And finally, the Aberdeen Bestiary depiction:

The one diving into the basin just looks so goofy to me, sorry. Anyway, as I'm sure everyone has guessed, this is the eagle.

Yeah. I know. The whole "fiery rebirth" thing sounds like it should be the phoenix, but this bestiary has an entry for "Phoenix" and it's not this one.

Regular listeners to the Maniculum Podcast may recall this particular eagle behavior coming up before, in the quiz-show episode we did for the second part of "Sidrak & Bokkus". I still don't really know where this idea comes from, but there you go. Eagles.

I feel like there's some kind of comment that could be made over the lack of compassion shown by the medieval eagle here and, you know...

... but I can't quite formulate it, so you'll have to write your own.

Anyway, see y'all next week for our next beaſt.

#maniculum bestiaryposting #raggfong

[dayslynthesix]

Charles Leclerc x Button!Reader

(this one is just a little content just because i love summer break and i think i failed a little bit to show just how much lis and charlie are in love in the social!au)

Sicily, Italy.

The warming heat of the sun was everywhere. The towels were warming, the floor of the Azzura (the boat) was warming, and the breeze of the Mediterranean sea was also warming. The summer break started less the 48 hours ago and Lis and Charlie were already on board.

Lis has bought that boat last summer, it was the most terrifying thing she could ever do, at least, thats what her dad has told her, but every weekend she was driving around at 320kmh, so driving a boat was supposed to be easy. But Lis wasn't driving the boat, Charles was. Not at that moment, because tuesday middle morning he was laying down side by side with his girlfriend while she was reading one of her books - Normal People, by Sally Rooney was the chosen one for the trip.

They were together for almost two years, they keep it private and low, only his closest friends and her closest friends (Gia, Catherine and Lauren*) knew about it, and they were fine with that. Until, one day, a rumor was spread around the paddock, and everyone started to pay attention on them.

"Ferrari driver Charles Leclerc is allegedly dating RedBull driver and Jenson Button's daughter, Elise Button."

But for him, Elise Button was just Lis, or Fleur de Lis, his girl, his partner, his other half, the only person who fully understand him.

Last summer they spent hidden in some Italy village, Moscazzano was the one, Lis' mom had a summer house there, and once she was a kid she was always there with her family. That summer Charles felt so much love by her family that his heart was overwhelmed with it. He never had the chance or the opportunity to meet Jenson properly, but those 3 weeks he spent there he learned from where most part of Lis personality came from; she was charming, had that amazing sense of humor, smile pretty easily once she feels comfortable, she likes to swim, to lay on the sun, to play volleybal with her friends, to watch Grey's Anatomy and House with her mom and to go take a walk with her dad every sunset.

This summer they spent most of it swimming in the blue sea, while Lis was making them friendship bracelets for the concert they were supposed to go, or writing some poem Charles would never be allowed to read or just laying side by side, holding hands and talking about everything and anything all at once.

Charles and Lis relationship was easy, they could talk or stay at silence, they could talk for hours or just check how each other was, they could just exist into each other space, Lis was as much part to Charles life as he was to her. They knew each other so deep that no one knew how they didn't ended up together sooner.

"Every time i read that Connell wasn't religious but he thought that God made Marianne for him something clicks inside of me." Lis started to say as she closed the now finished book, Charles just hummed to let her know that he was awake, and listening to her "Because I'm not very religious too, but God, life, the universe put you in my life and I think that was genuinely made for me. I love how our life is simple, and how easy it is to be with you, even though we're weren't supposed to be together."

"I think the fact that we drive for rival teams makes things even better, what do you say? We're enemies to lovers?"

"More like rivals to lovers, but just between us, I would let you win just to see you happy." Lis had that, she was just pure empathy, it didn't look like because she was a woman into a mans sport, but she cared, and she would do anything to make Charles happy, including letting him win in Monza, including let him drive her around, including telling him how much she loves him.

"That's not very RedBull of you, honey." he joked

"It's because deep down I'm sort of a Mercedes driver because of my dad." she was laughing freely.

And summer just freeze. In that moment summer felt eternal. Just Elise and Charles, laying on the sun, listening to each other, talking nonsense around the Mediterranean, joking about how Charles wasn't familiar with the sunscreen technology. They just disappeared on those 4 weeks. They went for morning swims, early breakfast, stopping in those small Italian villages, eating pasta and holding each other. They weren't thinking about the championship, fast cars, Ferrari or RedBull. It was just them.

Charles and Elise, enjoying the sweet company of each other.

And going to Taylor Swift concerts.

elisebutton

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo, cbishop11*, scuderiaferrari and 765.154 others

elisebutton there are pieces of us booth under of every city light, thank you italy, you were amazing with us, grazie 🇮🇹

charles_leclerc you are my favorite place

jensonbutton look how adorable you are, already missing you ❤

laurencaspari i picture you (my best friend) with other girls (charles leclerc) and throw up on the street (actually i went drinking)

priyacaspari looking forward to see you guys racing in monza in 2 weeks 🤗

scuderiaferrari hey @redbullracing are you seeing this?

redbullracing hey, charles, could you please bring back our driver? thank you

maxverstappen1 hey, charles, could you please give back my emotional support friend? thanks

elisebutton

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo, mickschumacher, redbullracing, maxverstappen1 and 976.642 others

elisebutton capture it, remember it. thank you so much @taylorswift, i had the time of my life last night, traded soooo many friendship bracelets and it felt amazing to be surrounded by these amazing people - to the girls who were next to us, thank you for making my night insanely beautiful, we're happy and not lonely. and thank you to my lover, my karma, the one that there's some invisible string tying you to me @charles_leclerc for singing all the songs with me, I'll save you a seat at every table

jesonbutton i just know that daniel and mick were with you, i just know

danielricciardo heidi is suffering from post taylor's concert sadness i think we should do it again, same time in a couple of months back in mexico?

schecoperez if you're going to mexico im coming too

charles_leclerc im karma and im your boyfriend

charlisewdc ELISE OMG IT WAS ME AND MY FRIENDS YOU WERE SO NICE WE LOVE YOU

ccaspari make the friendship bracelets take a moment and taste it you got no reason to be afraid I LOVE YOU LIS MISSED YOU SO MUCH THESE MONTHS

georgerussell63 carmen and i are officially tswift fans from now one, thank you for the invitation

maxverstappen1 wait, am i the only one who wasn't there?

landonorris LMAO i think you don't like solo racing after all

elisebutton i invited you, i invited everyone

authors note: after this small serie ends i fully intend to do another social media au with another driver, probably daniel ricciardo x volleyball!player

#Spotify #charles leclerc #formula one imagine #formula 1 #formula one #charles leclerc x reader #jenson button #formula one social media au #f1 social media au #f1 #the eras tour #ferrari

[dream-meister-translations]

ROUGE - VOICE COLLECTION

━

"This tavern has the most delicious sake. It tastes even better if it's someone else's treat♪"

"I like how serious and hardworking you are, but couldn't you loosen up a bit sometimes?"

"Welp. I'm totally broke again. But, you gotta take a gamble, right?"

"Um~ Do I have to go too?"

"I don't have a clue what's going on. Let's sing!"

"Ah, you really think I'm such a bad guy? I just like to drink a little bit and have a slight money problem."

"Hey there Emma. Is there someone you have a crush on? Why don't you tell me all about it?"

"Hey, will you listen to my song? I've been desperately awaiting a chance to perform it for you."

"Whenever I can't put my feelings into words, I put them into song. Do you understand that?"

"Are you falling in love with me now? Hehe~ I'm only kidding, you and I are good friends♪"

"First we were friends. Then we were family. What would you consider our relationship now?"

"When I see how hard you work, I can't help but cheer you on."

"Now, where is the tavern…"

"Don't be discouraged, smile and laugh!"

"You should sing whatever you want, with whoever you want, and live life how you want."

"You're always going all out. That's what makes you so dazzling."

"I wonder what it sounds like when you fall in love. It must be a happy melody."

"This is the time when good girls should go to bed… Fufu, if you want, we can stay up and be naughty together."

"There are so many emotions that can be portrayed through song. Joy and sorrow. And love too, you know?"

"Thanks for staying up late with me. You've inspired me to write a new song."

"Where shall we go? I recommend a tavern!"

"I had such a wonderful time today♪ You can ask me out again whenever you want. I'm always free!"

"I don't usually sing for free. You're gonna have to reward me later~"

"Okay, I'll sing for you, but don't go falling in love with me."

"You want me to sing for you? Well, if you ask me nicely~"

"I'm flustered? I think I had a little too much to drink…"

"You know why I'm a little out of sorts right now? I ordered way too many drinks last night and now I'm broke again!"

"Do I smell like alcohol? I try not to spill, but…"

"Oh, my head hurts…I feel like I'm gonna throw up…This is a really bad hangover."

"Emma, don't look at me with those judgy eyes. It makes me sad."

"Keep your posture straight and relax your shoulders, now sing♪"

"When you sing, make sure you sing from your stomach. Okay, while you practice that, Gran, lend me some money~~!"

"I'm not trying to flatter you, but every time I give you a vocal lesson you seem to get better and better. Even I'm amazed at how fast you are learning."

"What? It's because I'm good at teaching? You say the cutest things~"

"Fufu, another person drawn in by my charms~"

"It's a perfect day for a date, isn't it?"

"You've been really busy lately, haven't you? It's important to have fun once in a while."

"When I go out with you, I often get inspired to write new songs. Are you the goddess of music perchance?"

"You want to write a poem together? It's sure to be a passionate tale."

"How about we make the theme of the poem, "My love for Rouge"?"

"Don't think so hard when writing poetry. Just go with your emotions."

"Use words that associate with each other. For example, "Rouge, Handsome, Cool, Wanderer, Super Nice, Free Spirit, Drunk, Broke…" Fufu, you could write a wonderful song about that~"

"You're asking if I wear scarves to protect my throat? Yeah, something like that."

"I wear my scarves all the time. Without them, I don't feel comfortable."

"You really want to know why I wear my scarves? Can I keep it a secret for now? I promise I'll tell you when we get to know each other a little better."

"I'll show you the steps, follow along!"

"Now, follow my steps… One step, two steps, three steps. You got it♪"

"You're such a good dancer I might hire you to dance while I perform."

"Being around you makes me feel at home. It's like the sun is beating down on me."

"Getting so close to a guy like me? Aren't you careless."

"Let's hold hands, shall we?"

"～♪ ～♪♪ I'm in such a great mood because you are here with me."

"Oh, you're leaving already? How about you stay and we spend the whole night drinking, instead?"

"Fufu~ This is so much fun. I can't believe how wonderfully your body fits against mine. We're perfect for each other, aren't we?"

"You're getting used to it, huh? Okay, let's pick up the pace."

"Yes, well done! That was so beautiful I couldn't help but admire it."

"Ah~ The feeling you just gave me… I think I'm falling for you."

"Why am I smiling? Because I'm happy."

"I can't believe I'm so happy to be with someone…"

"We were both a little reserved when we first met, weren't we? I don't feel that way any longer."

"Your eyes are so beautiful. You're making me so nervous, and you don't even seem aware of it."

"Why are you staring at me like that? Is it possible that you lost a lot of money at the casino? I sure did."

"If you keep staring at me like that, I'll get a hole in my face."

"I want to squeeze you real tight, but I don't want to hurt you."

"Lately, when I'm with you, I'm at a loss for words. I feel like it's never enough."

"Your voice is music to my ears. You know I'm being serious when I say that, right?"

"You've already shown me enough love. No more gifts."

"I can't believe you're celebrating with me. This is the best birthday I've ever had♪ You know I'm serious, right?"

(gift like) "What? How could you know I wanted this? Could it be, the power of love?"

(gift like) "You know exactly what I like, it means the world to me."

(gift normal) "Is this gift to relieve my lonely heart?"

(gift normal) "It's kinda bad…But, I'll take it."

(gift dislike) "Hang on! Emma! Why would you get me something like this? Do you not like me?"

(gift dislike) "…..Okay, if you recommend it, I'll believe in you!"

"I have a gift for you today! It's a thank you for all you do for me."

"A reward for all your hard work♪ Fufu~ I just wanted to see you smile."

━

ROUGE : Okay, Shaymie repeat after me, "Please, lend me some money!" Make sure you say it with a lot of sorrow, okay? SHAYMIE : Please, lend me some money~! Hahaha, I got it! So what's the plan?

━

ROUGE : Gran~! I'm begging you man! Please lend me the money~! If you don't, I'll starve to death! GRANDFLAIR : You're always broke, Rouge. I'm not lending you any more money.

━

NOAH : Don't talk to me like we're friends. Hey, Emma, don't wash his clothes with mine. ROUGE : Fufu~ Noah, you're so salty today♪

━

ROUGE : Gran, I have a hangover… GRANDFLAIR : I'm begging you to please take this mission seriously for once.

━

ROUGE : That was such a beautiful song, Shaymie! SHAYMIE : Ehehe~ I like being praised!

━

ROUGE : Hah…Ah…I'm finally sobering up… GRANDFLAIR : If you keep dawdling I'll leave you here, you drunkard.

━

#Otome #Yumekuro #Yumekuro Translations #YMKR translations #YMKR #Dream Meister Translations #Otome Translations #Dream Meister And The Recollected Black Fairy #Dream Meister And The Recollected Black Fairy translations #rougevoice

[tiofrean]

Part 1 of Tom of Bedlam Black Sails interpretation

...(because I’m obsessive).

I need to place a disclaimer here first - I wrote my own interpretation not because I think this poem-turned-song is necessarily about a story of a man like Flint and his romance with a man like Thomas, but because the parallels make my brain happy and my heart heavy. And I like to look for deeper meanings everywhere (it’s an OCD at this point, I believe). Also, I firmly believe some of the writers/producers might have heard that song/read that poem and gotten some ideas here or there (hey producers, hit me up if you did, I would LOVE to hear all about it). 

The author of the poem/song is most often marked as anonymous, and there are many, and I mean MANY versions of it, not only in different words here and there, but with whole stanzas. I tried to collect as many different ones as I could, but I’m sure there are many more. 

So… enjoy, don’t take anything for granted, and feel free to add to it <3 

Oh! And here is the version I absolutely LOVE if you want to give it a listen - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjLtuAoAoGQ 

For to see my Tom of Bedlam,  Ten thousand miles I'd travel

The first line suggests the narrator is not Tom, but someone who would come to/for him. This is the first thing that stuck out for me - everyone says the subject here is Tom… but why would this first line be there in literally EVERY version I’ve seen? So let’s go with the idea that it’s someone coming FOR Tom, someone singing ABOUT him. 

Mad Maudlin goes on dirty toes,  to save her shoes from gravel.

In Middle English Maudlin denotes St Mary Magdalene, the embodiment of devotion. She travels without her shoes (a sign of status back then) to save them from being tarnished (like her name… sounds like a sea witch we know…*cough cough, Mrs. Barlow anyone?* She left her name, her honor, her status, and went with James to Nassau. She could have gone to one of the places mentioned by Peter, try to build her name back up, but she chose James, she changed her name and went the difficult way.)

Still I sing bonnie boys, bonnie mad boys, Bedlam boys are bonnie For they all go bare and they live by the air, And they want no drink nor money.

…and that one, IMHO, just simply shows how abusive Bedlam was. Buying a drink, put together with giving money as an alternative tells you about sex, IMHO. And people in Bedlam didn’t exactly have a lot of choices when it came to others visiting them like their own private circus… and yes, according to tales and some records, sex with people locked up there happened on a regular basis.  

I went down to Satan's kitchen To break my fast one morning

To be in Satan’s kitchen is to be in a hella mess. Just like our fav lieutenant had put himself in back in London, then went to beg his case and was stripped of his rank and banished.

And there I got souls piping hot All on the spit a-turning.

Poor condemned people being tortured for imagined crimes. A nice parallel, if I may say so, between what people were locked up in Bedlam for, and what Flint had been shunned for. Imagined crimes - on one hand, people who needed psychiatric help not abuse, on the other a man who committed a perceived crime against society. Both cases of people who were born like this (in most cases) and definitely couldn’t help it. 

There I took a cauldron Where boiled ten thousand harlots

Since we have Mary Magdalene, we can go with the Bible again, and there are a lot of references to the number 10k - most of them involve some sort of rallying people to fight their enemies. Those poor harlots would rise again and fight their way to freedom, I’d reckon.

Though full of flame I drank the same,  to the health of all such varlets.

A varlet is not only an attendant or a servant, but also a man without principles, someone dishonest. If the subject is drinking to the unprincipled, it brings to my mind all the underdogs that Flint associated himself with in Nassau and his idea to make Nassau, the underdog town, into a prosperous… well… kingdom of sorts.  

My staff has murdered giants,  my bag a long knife carries For to cut mince pies from children's thighs,  with which to feed the fairies.

I’d go about this passage from the bottom up. Fairies may be seen as mythological creatures (as a whole) and a specific deity (when considered in a given time period). That can be also a reference to just thought-up, unrealistic tales and “magical” stories people in Bedlam were telling others while not being sound of mind (and I’m using the tem very carefully). The last idea seems to fit best, seeing as we have the subject talking about murdering giants and having a long knife to cut mince pies from children’s thighs (yuck?). So it can be just mad ramblings of a bedlamer and the subject fitting himself into the story. Or maybe it’s the retelling of the story, as in telling other people they’re monsters in the dark… ready to hurt children… sounds familiar? Then imagine the subject is Flint, he carries a big stick to whack the monsters over the head with, thus retelling the story. What was that about illuminating the darkness? Yeah…

Spirits white as lightning,  shall on my travels guide me 

I don’t doubt for a second Flint had Thomas in an almost godly regard at the point when he arrived at Nassau, and that his love, as hopeless as it had been, had been guiding him all the time. The whole “Nassau Project” that Flint had put on himself was actually one big undying and unending statue for Thomas. 

The moon would quake and the stars would shake,  whenever they espied me.

And here is the beginning of The War, but alsoFlint as the bad omen of death that he came to be.

No gypsy slut nor doxy,  shall win my Mad Tom from me

An interesting lack of interest in anything other than Mad Tom, isn’t it?

I'll weep all night, the stars I'll fight,  the fray will well become me.

…and he did, starting a war with everyone, the officials, England and God himself. By the way, the subject is weeping in the night instead of fucking some doxy in the alley… telling, isn’t it? I mean, exactly how many times have we seen Flint with any of Max’s ladies? 

It's when next I have murdered, the Man-In-The-Moon to powder His staff I'll break, his dog I'll bake,  they'll howl no demon louder.

…so he did kill Alfred (the Man) and baked his dog (Peter). You can use bake loosely here, as a synonym for burning, but it can also be literally baking him, since it’s all mad ramblings of a bedlamer, right? Also, we have the staff again, which tells me that the subject who was previously rambling about telling the stories (the mince pies up there) has found another man who wields a staff and thus tells a story. He destroys him and his story, and so, Flint is the story-teller now. 

So drink to Tom of Bedlam,  he'll fill the seas in barrels I'll drink it all, all brewed with gall,  with Mad Maudlin I will travel.

He’ll travel with Mad Maudlin (Miranda), wrecking havoc in Tom’s name, and accepting it (gladly).I will also point out that my mind unerringly comes back in a circle to that filling the seas in barrels bit. I mean, most bodily fluids are salty, aren’t they? The ocean is salty… Interpret it as you wish ;) 

From the hag and hungry goblin That into rags would rend ye, All the sprites that stand by the naked man In the book of moons, defend ye.

The book of moons got me thinking, because there was no (I think, correct me if I’m wrong) one distinct work of literature of that title, but I believe there were many occult or occult-like works pertaining to moons (and witches and stuff). Now to the naked man - it can be literally anyone and he can be naked in literal or metaphorical sense. 

So I started digging into women with witchy powers in classical literature… And thus, I uncovered Erichtho, which (according to Wikipedia) “is a legendary Thessalian witch who appears in several literary works. She is noted for her horrifying appearance and her impious ways. Her first major role was in the Roman poet Lucan's epic Pharsalia, which details Caesar's Civil War. In the work, Pompey the Great's son, Sextus Pompeius, seeks her, hoping that she will be able to reveal the future concerning the imminent Battle of Pharsalus. In a gruesome scene, she finds a dead body, fills it with potions, and raises it from the dead. The corpse describes a civil war that is plaguing the underworld and delivers a prophecy about what fate lies in store for Pompey and his kin.” 

Now, I’m thinking the “rending to rags” is actually making a, for the lack of a better word, human suit out of someone, as in “walking corpses”. The naked man would be someone who is dead, or maybe even someone living, who is metaphorically “dead”, being deprived of his status, good name and honor. Sounds like our pirate yet? Then think of that, one of the potions that she uses on the corpses is the “lunar poison” along with everything bad in the world. To me it all sounds like our favorite captain coming to terms with himself being now in the underworld, metaphorically and literally, left without his name, honor and being a sort of a walking-corpse. Remember the story about the mystical ghost Flint crawling out of the sea? Yeah, me too. 

With a thought I took for Maudlin, And a cruse of cockle pottage, With a thing thus tall, Sky bless you all, I befell into this dotage.

Cockle pottage is thin, poor man’s soup, according to the info I could find. The subject resorts to simpler means of living, along with his Magdalene (Miranda and her cottage, Flint on his ship, living the thieve’s life, no salons anymore). 

I slept not since the Conquest, Till then I never waked, Till the naked boy of love where I lay Me found and stript me naked.

This one, I think, is very self-explanatory. What is the Conquest? It could be a literal conquest, but why would I see it written with a capital C in every version I encounter? It has to be a very specific conquest, a very specific event. We could also lean towards the Bible, to the Apocalypse and the Four Horsemen, where the Conquest was the rider of the white horse, carrying a bow, with a crown on his head (prince charming anyone? Our favorite lord perhaps?), who was sent to conquer and spread the word of God. So what happened? Our favorite lieutenant didn’t really live until he was awoken by the Conquest, aka Thomas, and after he lost him, he hadn’t slept a wink. 

Oh, but then there are the two next lines! Speaking about vulnerability, love, nakedness and being found… So why not the big awakening of the gay side of Flint? Food for thought! 

I know more than Apollo, For oft when he lies sleeping I see the stars at mortal wars In the wounded welkin weeping.

I could go on a limb here with Apollo (and his 9 years of exile for murder, during which time he had to purify himself of his sins, also about the curious intellectual-threesome-thingy they had between Apollo - Thomas, Heracles - Silver and Artemis - Madi) but I’ll leave that to Wikipedia. Let’s just for now focus on the fact that Apollo was associated with poetry, music and prophecies. He was gentle, beautiful and was often depicted as a young man with a bow and a laurel wreath on his head. So Apollo-Thomas is asleep and Flint is not, thinking of the cruelty of the world, of the conflicts and of the way the society makes the heavens (welkin) weep. James was always more conscious than Thomas when it came to the society’s impact and how it would judge them (and yes, Miranda was wiser about that then the both of them combined xD)

End of part 1... part 2 is in the making, but it may take me a while to finish it, as the language used is a bit harder to decipher when it comes to 18th/19th century meanings. Feel free to add to it, I love to read such things!

#black sails meta #black sails #tom of bedlam #interpretation #meta #james mcgraw #james flint #captain james flint #miranda hamilton #miranda barlow #thomas hamilton #my ramblings

[oblong22]

The Ones We Once Loved: A Reflection on the Analogy. “Lockdown Litanies: Countless Untold Stories” an Essay by Prince Jimenez.

Intro: What are the struggles they have faced when they are in love?

To begin with, the author has shown how they struggle and how they manage to get better even when they think there is no hope and to believe that they can do better even when they're alone because the author believes that at the end of the day, they will just realize what they sacrificed and they will have a smile on their face.

Dear Diary

As I read, it hurts me because it is happening in real life. People are struggling to overcome their fears, anxiety, and trauma. Thinking that this feeling exists saddens me.The song of Russ Nobody Knows When you've been in this situation, it hits you differently.His line “Mask up my pain,hold back my tears I'm going;insane nobody knows. “All by myself, let the rain hit me I'm going insane;nobody knows”.Is that no matter how hard you fight and try to be well, you will never be well.

The Tale of Modern Sisyphus

After reading the poem "The Tale of a Modern Sisyphus," I realized that empowering women gives them more confidence. That woman cannot be addressed with a number greater than or less than ten.This reminds of the song of Alessia Cara Scars To Your Beautiful It says, “you’re beautiful just the way you are” And “beauty goes deeper than the surface” Where her tone is comforting.

O' Yayi (A Prose Poem)

Reading this poem brought a smile to my face. It was delicious. Beautiful and heartfelt. Yayi received the love that everyone desired. But then, at the end, it sounds like an Ed Sheeran song. The song Lego House It says "I'll pick you up when you're getting down" no matter how many times Yayi breaks down, he will still put her up and mend Yayi. But just like the lego house song, It's up to Yayi if she will pick the pieces for him.

Two Red Laces on the Wonderwall

Two hearts are linked together, two people are bound to be together. Reading this reminds me of the song The Shade by Rex Orange County.The line “I would love just to be stuck by your side,not with anybody else,anybody else is enough just to keep us occupied please don’t go”Oh, to be with someone who can see you and is there for you. You are who you believe you are.

Umbilical

A youngster. An unborn child Appreciating the way his mother carried him. A baby's love for his mother even while he is still in her womb. It's tragic to know that the child feels guilty for his existence in exchange for his mother's suffering. The song A song for mama in the line "You're always down for me, have been always around for me" Even if he is not ready, a child expresses his willingness to let his mother live.

RE: Paper (I'm Red, IMRaD)

This poem demonstrates our current situation. Because of the pandemic, there will be online classes and modular work. It's difficult to find a job. The best way to survive. However, it focuses on the experiences of the students and teachers. On how everyone is struggling to adjust to a new normal.This song speaks to me because it describes our current situation Hope “Don't worry, Don't stress it will be okay, “We can sort through this mess cause its never too late” “Look how far this world has come” It's all about not worrying about it. We will overcome this, as well as everyone who is afraid.

3 A.M Awakening

As I read this, it occurred to me that, like the dear diary poem, it is one of the main problems of a person that leads to or causes anxiety. Waking up at 3 a.m. for no apparent reason and having difficulty breathing stinks.PresenceJust Hold On “Just hold on Don't lose your soul now, Just hold on Don't lose control now”You simply have to believe and hold on for what is happening because there is hope and happiness at the end.

My Frail Lady

This poem is light to read but has a heavy feeling to it. It's about a girl who wants to end her life but knows that if she was told to stop, she would. She, however, did not. She might think of having peace after taking up her own life.In blink-182 Adam Song happens to be a song of hope. exactly as the frail lady stated "whatever you asked for, i would have made." And yet no one asked her. So she disappeared.

Major Arcana

This gives me hope for the future as I read it. That no matter how difficult or difficult things get, I should never give up and always strive to do my best. Having the people I care about by my side who encourage, trust, and understand me even when I don't understand myself. In the song Never Giving Up The line “ I'm going to reach the sky way up high, I'm never giving up, It's up to me to see who I can be make dreams reality, I'm never giving up” This reminds me not to give up in any situation, to aim higher, and to always believe in myself, as well as my family, who is always there for me.

Conclusion:

After reading those nine poems, I realized you should be open to new experiences.Any kind of love is acceptable, but you should not devote your entire being to it. This is due to the fact that love is so

It's mysterious because it can hurt you, heal you, make you happy, or break you.As you may know, there are times when the people you care about the most, such as your family, are unavailable.They are more likely to harm you than help you. This is due to the fact that they are frequently there to cause you harm.Rather than assisting you I am more open to poetry as a result of reading such poems.Love, to be mindful and direct.

#Youtube

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

into the gloom you left behind

Title taken from the poem It Bruises, Too by Kwame Dawes.

Prompt: Left Behind

TMNT IDW.

(tw kidnapping, family separation, very tangent references to noncon, grief, guilt, implied mind control, mental health issues, catatonia)

You can find the whole collection on AO3 here.

Dear Leo,  

I honestly don’t know if this letter will find you. I’m going to print copies off of Don’s computer and leave them all over the city, stick them in places we used to go together—some of our good scavenging spots, that library you like, that one cool spot by the river, the access tunnel into Broadway, some of your favorite spots in Central Park or the High Line. Like messages in a bottle, cause if you leave enough one's gotta find its destination.  

I’ll even try to leave a few near the Foot stronghold if I can. That place stinks, btw—how can you stand it, dude?  

Hold on, I should probably let you know who's writing to you just in case the amnesia theory's right. In fact, maybe I should give you a rundown on who you are while I'm at it.  

Your name's Leo--full name Hamato Leonardo. You're a kickass leader, an amazing ninja, and you love to read even though you don't give yourself a lot of time for it. You've got a dad who's also a teacher and a rat, a mom who loves you a ton even if she's not around you anymore, and three awesome younger brothers: Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo. I've drawn a picture of us on the bottom, so you can get a better sense of who we are. Sorry if it's a little rough.  

We've got some cool friends, too, but I don't want to name them in case this ends up in the wrong hands. The rest of us are already way too deep in...I guess you could call it a war? And we might be on different sides. Don't worry, though! It's not your fault and you're gonna remember where you belong pretty soon.  

I'm Mikey, your youngest and coolest brother, and I'm writing to you because...because, well, I know you don't like it when we curse, but we fucked up, Leo. See, we were running from this guy named Shredder, a really bad dude who killed us in our past lives (Donnie wants me to add "might have" so fine, whatever, he might have killed us in our maybe past lives).  

Anyway, he wants us dead now, and he hurt our friend Casey real bad, so we were running away from him trying to get Casey to the hospital. Only you got hit by a tranquilizer or something and you fell, and we didn't see you. None of us even noticed we were gone until we were at the hospital, and by the time we went back to look for you it was too late.  

You were...changed. You didn't recognize us anymore. You were all weird and violent and we were so scared, but under it all I could tell you were hurting. Shredder hurt you so deep you couldn't even figure out who or where you were, not really.  

I know it's not you, though. It's not. I don't know exactly what happened to you, but I'm trying to keep believing that you didn't mean to hurt us. The Leo I know would never attack his own brothers like that.  

Although I guess it wouldn't be entirely out of left field. We did leave you behind, after all. I guess that's why this sort of feels like an apology letter as much as anything.  

I'm sorry, Leo. So very, very sorry. I'm sorry this happened to you and I sorry we messed up and I swear on my life that when you come home, we'll never leave you behind again.  

I say when and not if because you will come home. We've been working around the clock to get you back, trying to figure out how to get you away from Shredhead. There's an answer to what's been done to you, a cure.  

I don't know if the Tin Can used electricity on you like the Winter Soldier, or magic like Splinter thinks, or demons like in all those movies you don't let me watch, but we can figure it out. We're smart that way.  

Although I gotta admit, it is hard to get our shit together the way things are right now. I don't think I ever realized how much work you put into leading and coordinating us, keeping us all on task. We're all guilty and stressed out and we keep getting into fights when we're together, fights I know you would have shut down right away.  

But even when we fight, we agree about how much you love you. Because you are loved, Leo, so very much. You're one of the most loved turtles in New York, maybe in the whole world. I don't know if it feels like it right now, but you've got a whole family who loves you to bits and who's not going to stop before you're home.  

Raph misses you a ton, you know. You guys fought before everything happened, but it doesn't matter anymore, not that it ever really did. He'd do anything to get you back. And Don's working himself to the bone trying to figure out how to help you, to give you the protection you need. Master Splinter spends every day meditating, trying to figure out how everything fits together, how to help you the most.  

And me? I do what I can. I'm trying to keep your room clean, you know, without messing up your stuff too much. When I'm not doing that or out looking for you I've been trying out some new Japanese dishes, stuff I think you'd like for your welcome home feast. Cool, yeah?  

If that's not enough incentive, you'll be able to pick the show for every movie night for a month after you come back. We've decided. Raph's gonna bitch and moan about it later, but whatever, he'll live. I don't even care if your stuff is burning, because seeing how happy it makes you is enough.  

As I'm writing this I'm thinking about what you might be doing right now. I want to think you just train all day like you used to and bitch at Karai or whatever, that all Shredder makes you do is kick some Savate around, but I don't know.  

He could be making you do bad things, or doing bad things to you, things we can't see. Sometimes I hear Donnie and Raph talking about it, but they always clam up when they walk by. I think they know something I don't but I'm too scared to ask.  

And you know what? I don't care. Whatever he makes you do, whatever happens while you're with the Foot, you're still our brother. There's nothing you can do to make us stop loving you and doing everything we can to help you heal. We'll look after you, Leo, I promise, same way you look after us.  

You're going to come home, and then we're all going to kick Shredder to the moon and go out for the best pizza we can find. You know, Chicago-level pizza. That's a promise, big brother, and I always keep my promises to you, same way you keep your promises to me.  

I have to go now, dude. I've got a meeting with someone who's going to help me figure out how to get you away from Shredhead and bring you home. I'll tell you more when you get back, okay? You'll want to hear all about it, and you know how much I like to tell stories.  

Love love love love,  

Mikey  

P.S. I promise not to watch any more episodes of She-Ra until you get back. Yes, you do too watch it with me, even if you're supposed to be way too macho. I've noticed that you're in the room every time I turn it on, you know.  

Oroku Saki doesn't crumple the letter or throw it at the wall, although the paper crinkles ever so slightly as he lowers his hand. He lifts his head, gaze unreadable through the helmet as his eyes bore into the black-clad man kneeling before him.

"Where did he find this?"

The man shifts a little, eyes darting anxiously. "Lion...no, Princess and Crow, my lord."

Saki nods. "I see. Outside a pizza shop?"

"Yes. DG's Corner, I think it was called. Should we stake it out?"

"Perhaps. I will have to think on it." The Shredder turns the letter over in his handle, examining the picture carefully drawn in colored pencil. A rat and a woman hold hands over four small turtles in red, purple, orange, and blue. Each figure is carefully labeled, including the one in blue, who is designated You (Leo).

"Did you see when or why he picked it up?"

"No, my lord. I apologize," the man replies, eyes downcast. "He was leading the group when we realized he'd stopped, and we found him holding the letter in his hands."

Saki nods slowly. "What happened?"

The man shrugs. "He just looked kind of confused, my lord. A little blank. We could see him staring at the paper, but it didn't really look like he was reading; his eyes weren't moving. He looked so out of it we thought he'd been hit with--"

"And then what?"

"Well, he looked up at us--through us, almost. It was...odd." The man squirms slightly, keeping his eyes carefully fixed on the ground. "I asked him what it was, and he said he didn't know. I mean, I could tell it was English, so I wasn't sure how he couldn't figure out something, but he just told us he had to go back home. By the time we got back to the base, he was, well..."

He gestures to the turtle sitting next to him. Oroku Leonardo sits with his back straight, chewing his lip gently as he stares off into the middle distance. He clearly has not processed what his companion, his erstwhile second on his last mission, has said, or any other part of the conversation. He has clearly not been processing anything for a while.

Saki sinks to his knees before the little turtle, lifting Leonardo's chin. "Her spell's fighting back, good," he says, almost to himself. "I hope she manages to shore the cracks up properly."

"Sir?" the other Foot soldier asks.

"Take the chunin to Mistress Kitsune," Saki orders, not looking up. "She will undoubtedly be able to help him. When she's done there, bring him back to my chambers."

"Yes, sir," the Foot soldier says, rising to his feet. He's got the look of a man carefully not knowing the full meaning of back to my chambers.  

"Oh, and Lieutenant?" Saki calls, giving Leonardo a little nudge. The boy stands up obediently, if a little hesitantly, and Saki rises to join him.

"Yes, sir?"

"Have Kitsune take a look at you and the other soldiers on that mission as well. It wouldn't do to get any unseemly rumors started."

The man's eyes widen slightly behind the mask, but his respect and fear for Saki are stronger than his terror of Kitsune. "Yes, sir." He bows out of the room and heads off down the hall, Leonardo trotting at his heels.

Saki looks back at the troublesome letter. Tracking down and disposing of them all will be tricky, but luckily his soldiers are very good at destroying things without question. Leonardo will never have his doubt or mind shaken by such a pitiful silly little piece of paper again.

He turns to the nearby fire and tosses the paper in among the flames. It's gone all too soon, chewed up and devoured, with nothing but a bit more smoke to mark the way.

_____

The street names Lion, Princess and Crow, and DG's pizza shop are shoutouts to my amazing fellow writers and freaks-in-arms @leonsi, @princessgemma12, @crow-dog-blogs, and @dg-darkfantasy.

#tw guilt #tw kidnapping #tw noncon mention #tw grief #tmnt #angstpril #angstpril2022 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt idw #tmnt comics #idw comics #michelangelo #mikey #leonardo #leo #oroku saki #shredder #the foot clan #tw family separation #foot leonardo #epistolary #foot soldier #tw mind control #tw brainwashing #tw mental health #tw catatonia #brainwashing

[anotherghoul666]

Well, you knew this was coming, right, my dear? Sage, ivy and papyrus <3

Of course darling, but that doesn't make any less special to have you in my inbox ❤️

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is? Oh music, 100%. I am a very audotiry-seeking person, I tend to need an audio component to make the deepest emotional connections to things, and I love to feel the emotions in a physical way through my body. While other mediums like writing etc. can instill emotion in me, it's a detached experience. I can rationalize and internalize the written word but I'm not gonna feel it in my actual body much. Music, I feel inside my body, with the goosebumps, the vibrations of the sound, the ways it compells me to move and stim. My body is made to move in rythm, but reading is a static, often sat, experience. Plus there's live shows which can feel like literally being pummeled, emptied out, scooped out with your innards replaced by the sonic vibrations. Music for me is an experience that involved all of my senses, so it's more easily connected with my nervous system and and brain. There's something distinct about the physical experience of music, like, lyrics do it for me, but poetry does nothing to me at all, and that's cause I couldn't hear the poem necessarily and have it paired with specific tones and chords and modes to support or contrast the words. Audio's my main priprity when it comes to having an emotional response to anything.

ivy ⇢ what are your ‘tells’ for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell you’re happy, annoyed, upset or tired? Now that's a question to ask an autistic person XD My tells are clear, direct communication. Ask and I'll tell you, type of vibe. I let people know. I'm sure I have instinctive, subconscious shifts in my tone of voice, pattern of speech, microexpressions, stance, aura and what I give off in general when my mood changes. My problem with those tells is, very often people misconstrude my "tells" and assume I feel a certain way when I don't. Reading tells implies a big amount of projection and inferring things that unfortunately people don't always seek to confirm. So to me, in my experience, my tells are missread constantly. People think I'm mad so often when I'm nowhere near that state, for instance. I dunno what I'm doing to look mad all the time but I guess I have that "tell" going on loads more often than I feel that emotion. Tells are unreliable. Someone can tell what mood I'm in by asking directly! Ain't that the most autistic answer I could have given to this question hahahahha, fuck xD

papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with? The audio rip of this chillstep mix by Chillout Deer on youtube:

Apparently the first track on this mix is called Sleeping Forest by artist Wayr. I associate this a trip me and my mom took in the summer of 2018. There's a sort of spa retreat / nature retreat place my mom's been going to for decades. She used to go with her sister before she left, with her mom before she passed away, with her best friends before they drifted apart; she'd drag my dad even if it isn't his thing too much and he'd humor her and they'd have a lovely time. I went 3 times with her so far. This place is my mom's safe haven. In 2018 we'd planned to take the trip together for her birthday. It's about a 4 hour drive from us, my mom doesn't drive much and is scared to because she has a medical condition that greatly diminished her sensitivity in her feet so she has a hard time feeling the pedals the correct way. One of the things I did to help calm her during the drive was play those chillstep mixes. She loved them and they really helped. We had our windows down and we vibed, driving deeper and deeper in nature near the water on the shoreside. Both drives went perfectly. We also listened to those mixes in our room before and after our spa treatments when we'd get back together after. We played chillstep while doing diamong painting, while talking about our values, while trying to decide which spa treatment to go to next. That was the year we had our shetland sheepdog puppy that got a neurological condition days after the trip and we had to euthanize her. The last pictures of her we have are on the balcony of our little shoreside cabin over there. That was the year me and my life partner got together, and these few days were the longest amount we'd spent apart since we began our life together. We texted and sent pictures back and forth and I was trying to live in the moment with my mom and take in every minute of this trip while also dealing with my cells yearning for my partner. That was the year we had the best food we ate at that retreat, my mom and I sharing our menues and for once I didn't have an allergic reaction to anything, so the trip was safe health-wise for me. That was the year me and my mom made up the silliest game of trying every chair / surface to sit on in the entire property, taking pictures and ranking them, finding out best chair XD That was the year we got followed by a dog? wolf? wild canine during a walk in the woods for legit an hour, getting trailed by this animal which was terrifying and awe-inspiring at the same time. That was the last time me and my mom went to the retreat, cause my life with my partner and work and personal life took over. I should organize another one of those trips soon. Lots of good and bittersweet memories in that music.

#asks

[epersonae]

17, 25!

What is something you own that is important to you? What makes it so important?

I don't know if this feels maudlin or basic, but it was the first thing I thought of

[and then it got long, so behind the cut:]

When my lesbian great-aunt died in the late 90s, she left her jewelry collection to her siblings' grandkids. I had just gotten into web development, and so I built a little web app for all of us to pick our favorites and then to randomize what was left. One of the pieces that I ended up with was a gold chain; it wasn't really my style, but it belonged to Great-Aunt Eleanor, so it's always felt weird to think about getting rid of it.

Then at some point after Ryn and I moved in together, they saw it hanging with my other necklaces, and asked if they could borrow it. Which, of course, sure. They said it felt gender, which is to say (as far as I could tell) that it worked both with something sort of feminine leaning and also with something more masculine, and felt right either way. They wore it a lot, to the point where it really was theirs.

When my grandmother died in the early 2000s, I ended up with what I'm pretty sure was her father's wedding ring. (As well as my grandfather's WWII dogtags, a pocket watch, and the good china.) When we got engaged, I asked Ryn if they'd want that ring fit to them. It is what I would describe as the "platonic ideal of a man's wedding ring", which is to say that it's a plain 14k gold band. We went to get it resized, and it turned out to be the second most expensive thing for the wedding. (Number one with a bullet was tables and chairs, fwiw.) Ryn kept asking me if I was ok with spending that much money for it, and I said of course, "it's something you'll wear the rest of your life."

Which turned out to be a few weeks.

The day of surgery, I took both of pieces of jewelry (along with Ryn's nose ring) to keep until -- yeah, well. And then at some point in the hospital, I put the ring on the necklace, and started wearing them, as a reminder. (To the medical staff? To myself? Yes.) I've worn them ever since.

I wrote what I thought was going to be a series of poems, while we were in the hospital, and that turned out to be a single very long poem, and this is one of the stanzas:

There's a routine now: After my shower I get dressed Put on my glasses  My wedding ring The lanyard labeled CAREGIVER  Bluetooth headphones  The gold chain I inherited from my snarky lesbian great-aunt, who I only met once, who wrote "to Baby Dillon" in the book of nursery rhymes she sent when I was born. I still remember the day you saw the chain and asked to wear it, the way it looked around your neck, bright against the black lines of poetry on your collarbone. I've hung your wedding ring on it, my great-grandfather's, resized perfect to your hand, until you can wear it again.  I order an iced caramel latte  And a breakfast sandwich  And begin again.

What’s a song that gives off good vibes anytime you listen to it?

An old favorite:

#the ICU poem is both A Lot and also something I actually think is good poetry #that got way more intense than I expected #ask games #unrelated true story: just before I turned 19 my glasses got broken in a mosh pit while TMBG was playing

[screenviolense]

all my ship tags as of now (romantic and otherwise) they are not alphabetized

✦ ZATANNA & JOHN        *    no grave can hold my body down; i’ll come home to her

✦ MILLIE & ROSAL        *    she lit a fire and now she’s in my every thought

✦ KINSEY & FLOYD        *    you left a note in your perfect script: stay as long as you want. and i haven't left your bed since

✦ LIZA & JASON        *    i hope you die. i hope we both die

✦ SASHA & TIM        *    as if i am alive only because i remember you

✦ ANAIS & MAHANON        *    you and i are not the polite people who live in poems

✦ JEAN & DILUC        *    is this the place we used to love? is this the place that i've been dreaming of?

✦ JEAN & KAEYA        *    meet me at our spot. they can't find us there

✦ ARRI & CULLEN        *    you put your hand in mine and pulled me back from things divine

✦ ANYA & ANDI        *    i walked with you once upon a dream

✦ CAROLINE & RICK        *    we’re gonna die and maybe it’s gonna be alone

✦ IMELDA & HECTOR        *    i remember that feeling. when my husband would play and i would sing and nothing else mattered

✦ SOPHIE & HOWL        *    i know how to help you now. find me in the future

✦ BECKETT & CASTLE        *    stop and stare: i think i'm moving but i go nowhere

✦ ELENA & NATHAN        *    we were strangers starting out on a journey

✦ ROBIN & CHROM        *    you are the wind at my back and the sword at my side

✦ ROSEMARY & JACK        *    and at least in this lifetime we're sticking together

✦ CAMILA & JOSE        *    i'd suffer hell if you'd tell me what you'd do to me tonight

✦ REBECCA & JEROME        *    for if i am not their shepherd then i must be the wolf

✦ SARAH & DEACON        *    but i’ll walk beside you love. anywhere the wind blows

✦ JULIET & SHAWN        *    since i met you i've been thinking about getting a car

✦ CAT & VINCENT        *    do you know what loneliness does to a man?

✦ ROSE & MELISSA        *    can i dream for a few months more?

✦ PENNY & ALEX        *    woke up in a safe house singing let’s get married

✦ PENNY & HALEY        *    go ahead let your hair down

✦ JULIET & LASSIE        *    i’ll be going to get my partner now

✦ CINDY & ZIGGY        *    i won’t let anything pull us apart again

✦ ALBERT & AMELIA        *    me and mrs. jones we got a thing going on

✦ RUTHERFORD FAMILY        *    to be cut off from one’s family is its own very special sort of loneliness

✦ MORTIE & KEATS        *    you don't hear me saying anything crazy about their weird little relationship!

✦ BARBARA & DICK        *    does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes?

✦ GUSTAV & JACQUELYN        *    i’m sorry i had nothing to say that night

✦ BENEDICT & SOPHIE        *    in her heart she longed for this man; dreamed of a life that could never be

✦ KATE & ANTHONY        *    you are the bane of my existence and the object of all my desires

✦ TAYLOR & LESLIE        *    i knew you were the one

✦ DANI & JAMIE        *    you said it was a ghost story. it isn’t. it’s a love story

✦ CASSIE & NATHAN        *    treasure hunting runs in the family

✦ JOYCE & HOPPER        *    watchin' in slow motion as you turn my way and say take my breath away

✦ LAURA & MAX        *    can we go home now?

✦ LAURA & TRAVIS        *    you think this is over? this isn’t over

✦ KINSEY & AARON        *    everything's growing in our garden. you don't have to know that it's haunted

✦ MILLIE & JOHN        *    our whole lives have been wasted just staring across the church

✦ BILLY & TRAVIS        *    i dream most every night that i never left you

✦ VERONICA & TRAVIS        *    but i never lost this feeling or this pounding in my chest

✦ SNOW & BIGBY        *    you are the moon that breaks the night for which i have to howl

✦ LEIA & HAN        *    captain; being held by you isn’t quite enough to get me excited

✦ GARCIA & LUKE        *    maybe there was a slight chink in your fluffy armor

✦ LEIA & FLOYD        *    i read the graffiti in the bathroom stall

✦ KINSEY & LUKE        *    damn i wish i was your lover

✦ KINSEY & DC        *    i never did believe in miracles but i've a feeling it's time to try

✦ NANA & HAURCHEFANT        *    i would rather break the world than lose you

✦ AUSTIN & SPENCER        *    i never did believe in the ways of magic but i'm beginning to wonder why

✦ LOIS & CLARK        *    here i am like a kid out of school. holding hands with a god

#✦ OOC

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

obsessed with into forever, farewell and farewell. keep thinking about it. obsessed with arwen in it. pls tell us everything about how the arwen/aragorn/boromir situation works.

thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I think in terms of sheer quality and writing skill, it's one of my best. That said, it's also depressing as heck for obvious reasons.

I am also chuffed that people like Arwen in it because she isn't super warm and fuzzy and she's also not like "it's ok that you shagged this other person on your quest, I Understand and Am Conveniently Devoid of Personal Emotions that Conflict With Yours". Which a lot of fics tend to have her as. Like she's pragmatic, very "look, I gave up my immortality, we're married, we're in this together, I need to understand and move foward, but I reserve the right to be upset about it. And it's not happening again."

so yeah, there's like no happy-happy poly situation in this, just Aragorn fucking up a bit and knowing, all the time, that he's fucking up. But he also sort of thinks they're all going to die on the quest so has a bit of that fatalist mindset - to explain, not to excuse his actions.

Aragorn reached forward then regretted reaching forward because he believed, believes, in promises and vows and oaths and pledges — even those made in a fevered moment of youth when you think you’re going to die any day, and this person comes into your life and they are the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen, and the gentlest, and they listen, and they hold your hand and kiss your cheek, and everything feels like it’s in a poem, and what has your life been but an improved repetition of your ancestors? 

this is him being like "I believe in the vow I made to Arwen and the pledges we made to each other and I want to honour that" yet he's not. He's doing the opposite of honouring that. And it's hard! It's a no-win situation for everyone. It's not like he could set up a facetime to chat with her about the current state of their relationship etc. And the ultimate issue is what Arwen describes:

 ‘We were young — you were young. We hardly knew one another. I suspect you hardly knew yourself, at that time. And we have then spent sixty years not knowing one another. It is, I have been given to understand by my ladies at court, a “war” marriage. Which means we don’t, actually, know each other.’

and this bit of their exchange:

‘You [Arwen] said I was young…and I was. And I was scared, as I have said, and you know how I fear the weight of my forefathers. When we plighted our troth we were very different people to who we are now, to who we have spent the last sixty years becoming — and sixty years mostly spent apart.’  'A fact I always raised with you.'

Anyway, they have a lot of getting to know one another ahead of them because Aragorn spent those sixty years fucking around in the wilderness, in Gondor, in Rohan, out east "where the stars are strange" as he put it in the books. They didn't spend it getting to know each other. The first time he saw her he thought she was Luthien and sang some of the Lay - it's all make believe. It's all fake. But now there is reality which is their marriage and they have to make it work.

Boromir being dead means the Aragorn/Arwen/Boromir situation doesn't really exist. Except in the past where it wasn't, exactly, the dynamic implied by that "character/character/character" pairing structure, which to my reading always indicates a broadly open and honest relationship and it wasn't. It was Aragorn cheating. Aragorn cheated. That is the crux of the issue. And he was beginning to think he could love the man he cheated with, at the same time he was convinced they were all about to go die. He also still loved, and loves, Arwen. It's messy and complicated and poor life choices were made. So yeah, I suppose it's better written as aragorn/arwen and aragorn/boromir because there was no aragorn/arwen/boromir.

As for Boromir's ghost - up to the reader to decide if it's real or just Aragorn's imagination! Or both. Interpretation is left open deliberately.

-

The real Arwen/Aragorn/Boromir dynamic that exists in my writing would be much more in Cycles of Song AU than Into Forever, Farewell and Farewell. And even then, it's not front and center. Unless I write some follow ups to it, how I am for the world's messiest horse lord and his questionable taste in men.

-

All of this said, I am glad you enjoyed it and are still thinking about it! Thank you so much for the very kind ask/message :D :D

#writing #into forever farewell and farewell #ask #reply #anon #boromir #aragorn #boromir x aragorn

[lacefuneral]

Hello! List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox of the last ten people that reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers :D ❤️

yey! first ask game in a while, ty

1. I really like roses. Like, I wouldn't necessarily say that it's my Favorite Flower, but its one that I think is pretty and smells nice and tastes nice when used in foods. So any time I encounter something with rose in it I'm like !!!!! And then, ofc it's a flower that is mostly associated with love, so I think that's very sweet. Also, rather than taking up another answer slot: this is true of vanilla as well. Love the smell and taste of vanilla, and I rather obnoxiously have it in everything. Lotions, body-washes, body spray, perfume. So imagine my blog smelling like both of these things.

2. I love skirts, and I have a few of them. I don't wear them very often, but it makes me happy when I do. I miss dresses a lot. Before I transitioned I had a ton of cheap sundresses. And I'd like to get some again someday.

3. Making things makes me happy. It's hard with chronic pain, executive function issues. But the act of drawing, or making collage, or editing a video, or writing a poem - it feels very freeing. Especially if what I was working on was especially challenging. I think that's one of the reasons I miss college so much. I miss carving linoleum, swiping ink through silk screens, developing photographs in the dark room. I even miss ceramics, even though it was a medium I struggled with and wasn't the most pleasant for me sensory-wise. Like, I tried to sculpt a TV, but the form became all lopsided because I wasn't very skilled, and I ended up really liking it as it was. Like a sort of surreal, melting, Dalí sort of thing. And I leaned into that when I painted it.

4. Curating things. Probably due to an autism/OCD intersection. I love love love making playlists, running sideblogs where I collate a bunch of different art or photos together, making pinterest boards, assembling gifts for friends and family, putting outfits together (when I have the energy), customizing my blog themes, etc. - I love it so much when I have disparate objects or concepts and I connect them. Probably why collage as an art form has always been something I enjoy.

5. Supporting independent artists/small businesses. Not just because I Acquire Object, but because I feel like I'm helping someone instead of my money going to a faceless corporation run by a billionaire. It especially makes me feel emotional when I buy from other trans artists. Like "whoa, you and I are in different parts of the world and despite our physical distance we share a fundamental part of ourselves and you made this item with your own two hands and now it is in my hands. and i will treasure it forever."

#replies #anonymous #ask game

[hellishrebukesystem]

Struggle Bus hits hard—12/28/23

We are trying really hard to keep up with resolutions we have made in the new year—we want to post every day on our social media and be active and build a presence in order to help our writing career and hopefully get a way of supporting ourselves within the next couple of years; but man, it is hard to be together and keep it up and post something every single day, especially since we have multiple blogs and yesterday we switched soooo much between Graham and David—we are exhausted today—we have our tiktok account as well, which we also expect to post or interact with every day—and that is dedicated to our writing of poetry and novellas and it isn’t exactly that we hide e are a system on there, but it isn’t easy to be a system and not talk about it, however we are very scared of judgement and harassment, so we keep that sort of talk to a minimum over there. I digress, social media engagement is no joke—it’s exhausting—it’s hard and I just don’t know that I have it in me to do all the work I want to do plus go back to school—which surprise I’ll be doing come January 1st. I shouldn’t put myself under such stress—but it is hard, as a composed system we are very ambitious—we have no quit.

For example: Harley wants to write an academic book—so she’s made us promise to do 30 minutes of research five days a week every week—David and Bri are working on a sci-fi/fantasy book and want us to write 400 words on it every single day. Bri also wants to write four poems every day. Graham has a cleaning schedule we must adhere too—we are all in charge of social media engagement—and Bri and Jokesy also want to make a documentary of our life at some point—with filming supposedly being going to be in the evenings when everybody else is in bed. Idk how that is gonna work or if it is gonna work or if we are every gonna make all this stuff me true. Not to mention the collages and artwork we do with our poems; So we have to mass film/edit our TikTok’s on Fridays and post throughout the week—which I think we can do all this stuff, it is just very exhausting entertaining every persons dream within the system and it is very stressful and I’m kinda freakin out, but we can do it. I know we can.

It is already a struggle just keeping up two days in, but I know it is important and I know that for the health of me and my alters I have to keep going and keep trying and struggling along because this means something, of course it means something—even if it is just creatively struggling for the next 50 or 60 years of my life, it means something. And I don’t wanna give up on working on all our dreams—I feel a very strong responsibility to make the dreams of my alters come true—especially as primary host. I have to work on things for them—I have to make sure we succeed.

Sorry this was such a long post, but I mean all of it, and I just ask for some good vibes and encouragement as we work ourselves to death.

—Bri

#dissociative identity disorder #actuallydid #actuallytraumatized #did system #actuallymultiple #dissociativeidenitydisorder #bri core #bri's tag

[theselfdoubtdiaries]

Dear Zoe, I think my blog post is overdue? Anyway, here I am now getting my act together after feeling quite scatty for a couple of weeks. Life gets in the way doesn’t it? That’s why people go on residencies of course! This has been literally hitting me in the face these past weeks as I go back to just juggling everyday life, teaching , trying to keep on top of things around the house and garden and dealing with family emotions and issues…..Where does the studio fit into all this? That’s just it – It always seems to come last – well today finally I have /am prioritising my studio practise!! (well to be honest I have done a few other domestic things too – but I have the kiln going and I am sitting down to attend to a list of things which – whilst they are computer things – also need to happen!)

One of the things I’ve been meaning and wanting to do since getting home from Europe – is to process the lumen prints I did whilst on residency. I rediscovered this process whilst I was at CRETA and it’s so much fun – a little bit addictive! I have finally scanned a bunch of lumens and edited them- just playing around with colours mainly and saturation - here's a few. Fun!

Maybe these will become new works? Who knows? The point is to keep playing and experimenting right? Also revisiting my notes to see what other methods there are for fixing the images as I remember there are other experimental options so I'm gonna try this out too now that they've been documented - the originals can change into something else - I don't mind....

In the background I have been angsting a bit about our upcoming show at Belconnen in February…..I guess it’s precisely because we are working and making in unknown territory that it’s a little bit daunting! Still visiting your studio in Sydney last week was good and I feel that we made headway. The road ahead is still a bit foggy but I can sort of make out where we are going (how’s that for a metaphor!)

Anyway, I am so glad that you will be in Canberra over Xmas and that we can put in some quality collab time in the studio working and making and just putting this show together! It will be an intense couple of weeks but I think it will be good.

So once again: trust the process.

PS that quote from Louise Bourgeois that you mentioned about architecture and memories – I knew I’d read it before – I came across a photo from an exhibition I visited the Gallery of NSW earlier this year - it was all about the idea of home – and I really liked it. There were quotes and poems displayed with the works – one of them was that exact same quote. It resonated with me too….and I just love the idea of memories building up in layers like bricks….creating architecture….reminds me of another book called “The Memory Palace” which I need to revisit.

It’s amazing how in-sync we are with our practices…...

#selfdoubt #creative process #art practice #artlife #newwork #studiolife

[dailyaudiobiblechronological]

5/12/2023 DAB Chronological Transcription

Psalm 65-67, Psalm 69-70

Welcome to Daily Audio Bible Chronological. I'm Jill. Today's the 12th day of May and we are winding this week. Not quite. We're just we're coming around the bend in this week together. I hope it's been a good week for you, a week of growth and awareness. And I hope you have found pockets of joy if you are in the struggle of life right now, I think we can think of joy as just this exuberant. laughter nonstop I really like Joyce Meyer's explanation of joy, which is a calm delight. I hope you have experienced moments of calm delight in your week this past week. We're going to continue today in the book of Psalm- Psalm 65, 66 and 67. And then we're going to skip 68 and jump over and finish with Psalm 69 and 70. This week we're reading the New English translation for just another day or two. Psalm 65. 

Commentary:

It's hard to read the Psalms sometimes when you know that these are songs, because you're just saying words and there's certain emotions and inflictions that feels like they should go there. But when you think about David actually singing these, they're going to sound much differently. And I don't know what they would sound like, to be honest. But here's what I can tell you, for whatever it's worth. Maybe some of you don't know. Before Brian and I started reading the Bible, before he founded the Daily Audio Bible 18 years ago, I was a touring artist in contemporary Christian music and toured, made records for well over a decade. But I sang most of my life. And on one of my trips home, I went into the basement and found the cassette library. And these are cassettes of my life, of when I sang just about everything that came out of my mouth. I put it to music or I did a commercial or whatever was inside of me for the day. It came out on cassette tape and ended up in my mom's basement. Lots and lots of songs, things that I made up that were just, I don't know, stream of conscience, maybe. But that's sort of the heart of an artist. Whatever we're feeling, whatever is inside, it has to come out through some sort of creativity. And those emotions that run so wild, so strong, we need a place to put them all. This is sort of what I think about when I read the Psalms and when I read these poems and these laments from David. It's almost this inside journal, like a sneak peek at a very private, very vulnerable diary or a journal that is now available to the world. Sometimes artists, musicians, singers, creatives, we're full of emotion, a lot of creative types, and we can be told we're extra, we can be told we're too much and we can be too much for people. I think sometimes David says a lot of things that are relatable to us. If we're just being honest, but maybe you're more subdued and you're like these thoughts stay tucked inside the four corners of my mind, and I'm just not the sort of person that puts it out to the world what I'm feeling or thinking or experiencing. Totally fine, totally good. Our friend David is not that person. And that's totally okay. That's the beauty of it, is no matter who you are, no matter if you experience emotion heavily or if you don't experience it at all, that it has to be okay. I think if this were modern day, present day David sort of exposing his journal of songs from emotions and feelings and thoughts and despair, there could be the potential of a lot of shame written around this. You don't say those things out of your mouth. You don't say those things to God. These are the things that we've spoke about this week, just being able to be safe, coming safely with our thoughts, our feelings, our questions, our anger, our lament in the presence of God and not being shamed, not being shunned away, not being rejected or labeled too much. So as you hear these songs being read today and trying to imagine what in the world the music would have sounded like in a day and age where King David was the latest and greatest in worship, before hosanna and integrity music, there was King David. But as we listen to these songs today, as they're being read, we can even just find comfort and solace in the validation of the human heart. Lamenting to God, crying out to God, and know once again that it's a very human part of who we are to do so. And hopefully when we hear these words again being sung or read, we can find comfort and validation and know that we are not alone in sharing some of these same cries of our heart that David shares in Scripture. I mean, there's a lot of words about his enemies today. And even just knowing one person is against you can feel as if the whole world is against you. And we find comfort that God prepares a table for us in the presence of our enemies. And I don't know about you, but man being invited to the table with almighty God, my creator of my existence, that's enough. That's good news today.

Prayer:

Father, we thank you for your word. We thank you for your presence. Thank you for this time meeting us, meeting with us here today. I thank you that you never leave us. You never forsake us. And as much as we recognize that we are unable to know everything about you, and we must rest in the mystery of what we cannot know, we still try to know you more. And we have a tendency to not remember that you understand our human emotion and you care about that emotion that we feel. And I thank you that you do not shame us. You do not berate us. You do not reject us. No matter who we are, no matter what our story is, no matter what past we bring into you, there is nothing that you cannot handle. I thank you for who you are and I bless your name. I pray this now in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. 

Announcements:

Daily audio Bible. That's homebase. Check it out. If you have not take a look around. That's also the website. So if you're new here and you've never checked out the website, we invite you to be directed there. Download the app as well if you have not. That's a free app and it's been created and is constantly being maintained and updated for convenience. So we want you to be able to have a very convenient access to the Daily Audio Bible so that it's as easy as anything for everyone to listen to the Bible. If you would like to partner with us here at the Daily Audio Bible, thank you so much for your partnership. Could not do it without you. If you're giving by mail DAB PO Box 1996, Spring Hill, Tennessee 37174 if you're utilizing the app, hit the Give icon up at the top right hand corner. And lastly, look for the Give icon on the website if you need prayer. If you'd like to pray for someone that's previously called in several different ways for you to do so 800-583-2164 or once again utilizing the app, hit the red circle, button it's up at the top right hand corner of your mobile device. You have two minutes on the prayer line. Very important step speak clearly and concisely into your mobile device. Hit Submit at the end and then turn the wheel over to chronological and it will get to the right place. That's going to do it for me today as we wind down this week together tomorrow and I look forward to it every single day. I'm Jill. Until then, love one another.

Community Prayer Line:

Good morning, Dapsie. This is Tonya calling from Suffolk. Today is Friday, May the fifth. Dear Lord, I want to lift up the young ladies called in stating her uncle has cancer and it's met to the brain. And also the three year old that was killed in the explosion at the gas station and the mama's in intensive care. Heavenly Father, I want to thank you right now in the mighty name of Jesus. Dear Lord, I'm asking Lord God, you show yourself mighty for that young lady that's in the intensive care right now. Heavenly Father, I'm asking Lord God, you just touch her right now in the mighty name of Jesus from the top of her head to the sole of her feet. I speak divine heal and I speak life over her right now in the mighty name of Jesus. Dear Lord, ask you to be with their family. Lord God, wrap your loving arms around them. Heavenly Father, give them peace, Heavenly Father, give them comfort, Lord God, as you continue to heal her from this tragic accident. Dear Lord, allow her, Lord God, to be able to come back stronger than ever, Lord God, that she will be able to share the testimony and you will get the glory out of this situation. Heavenly Father, I'm asking Lord God, you to be with the uncle that's in hospital as well in comatoses due to cancer, dear Lord. Dear Lord I'm asking Lord God you just to have your way Dear Lord, you know what he's saying in the need of heavenly Father, I'm asking Lord God, you just have peace, give peace to the family and just wrap your loving arms around them as well, heavenly Father. And I'm just trusting, believing Lord God that the uncle, he has accepted you as his Lord and Savior and if this is his time, Lord God, Lord God, just allow him to be at peace, Lord God. And I continue to speak life, Lord God over each and every situation, Lord God and just have your way in the mighty name of Jesus. As always, DABC. I love you guys and continue to be encouraged.

Good morning. Daily Audio Bible Chronological. This is Jennifer from Tulsa. I am a first time caller, been listening for three years. I'm calling today about a young man named Cade here in our community that is fighting cancer. This is his fourth time around in his young 20 years of life. His mother has also been diagnosed over the years a couple of times, but is in recovery and he's fighting an infection and going back and forth from Tulsa to MD Anderson in Houston. It is heartbreaking to watch them and see all that they continue to endure. And this week his sister is graduating high school with one of my daughters. His sister is the valedictorian of their class and it's supposed to be a great week and she is in Houston because that is where her heart is with her brother. So if you would lift them up in prayer for complete healing. I have another friend, her name is Melissa. She is also battling leukemia here in Tulsa. Yesterday she woke up after six days in a coma. So we praise the Lord for that. If you would keep these families in your prayer, I would appreciate it. I am encouraged daily by the prayers of God's people and appreciate you all so much. Have a great day.

Hey DABC family, today is Saturday, May 6, and the prayer request my name is Samara by the way. The prayer request for Jesus girl for her son Brandon just played and it just shattered me. So I want to go ahead and pray for you and for your son. I know it must be hard, so if you guys are praying, agrees with me. Dear Heavenly Father, right now we lift up Brandon to you Lord and we ask you to have mercy on Him. Soften his heart towards you. Please replace his heart of stone to a heart of bless. Heavenly Father, please do the work that only you can do. Lord, I ask you to reveal to Him how you care for Him throughout his life and reveal yourself to Him so that he may see Your loving kindness and Your mercy, your grace and Your love. Lord, I pray that he would realize, as he's in this low point of his life, that you are the only thing that will be able to truly give him fulfillment and purpose, his God ordained purpose. So, Lord, I just ask that you have mercy on him. And I also want to pray for his mom, who lovingly called in and continues to follow you so faithfully. Lord, I pray that her walk would be an example to him for someone to shine Jesus light on Him in a very physical manner. Lord, I pray that you would give her the strength she needs to endure for her son. And Lord, I ask you to do all these traumas for it to not only draw their own relationship closer, but draw each of them closer to you. Lord Jesus, I just lift up her whole family and I pray that she wouldn't be the only one that came to you, that they would all come to know you. In Jesus mighty name I pray. Amen.

Hey, it's Heather in Nashville. Want to say thank you to China and Jill and Brian. I have not heard Zeke's, but I really just want to say a personal thank you. This has just been I was referred to you guys when I was in California, spending the last of my days well, the last of hers, excuse me, with my best friend, and they took me in and showed me their little morning routine of sitting with you guys and doing that together as a couple. And I just want to honor and thank the people that stay and pray and read the Bible together. It is life giving and to commit to that create safety for your community and your whole family. So you're clearly doing some really good daily habits. I know none of us are perfect, but you are now parling that into the world. I hear people all over the world listening to this. It has really given me something to look forward to every day when I'm having a hard day. And as soon as I get my company up and running, I definitely will be supporting you. Just thank you again for your tireless efforts. Poor China, you can hear in her breathlessness just pouring out from very little lung capacity. And Jill coming from Israel and tired. And Brian, I don't know your story because I listen to the Proverbs, but you're just a great daily family for me and the community of prayer. Love listening to everybody's prayers. And I pray with you guys. So it really keeps me on track. Keeps me accountable. Love you all. Bye.