#i think. this world is lonely for people who think like me

[c00kietin]

thank GOODNESS I could finish this- beneath the cut's a profile for them!! :D

buckle up, because it's a lot of information-

TENEBRIS!!!

Goes by they/them pronouns :D

Don't ask them for their age. Even I don't know how old they are.

The one and only leader of the Obitus Cult/Cult of Obitus!!

A very egotistic and anti-social being that has utterly devoted their loyalty to their "god" Obitus.

Can be quick to anger as well, lashes out on their members if they're really frustrated.

Of course, they're nothing like this around newcomers. Needs to somehow convince them to join, right?

Well, they can just force people if they wanted to with spells.

The magic they're capable of involves more chants and recitals, as well as making very strange substances and potions.

Their shopping list looks very strange, as you can imagine.

Kind of tying in the shopping thing, they get all of their resources delivered to their temple. Tenebris very rarely leaves the premises, and the members aren't allowed to leave at all.

They hate children. And chocolate.

And bright lighting- all the rooms in the temple are very dimly lit and all their clothes are darkly coloured.

This is their voice claim!

Their hair is quite heavy (and well taken care of) so you can guess that they're very slow.

MORE THINGS ABOUT THE CULT ITSELF!!

You can call it either the Obitus Cult or the Cult of Obitus- Tenebris calls it the latter.

This group made up of almost 100 people places their faith and loyalty to Obitus.

According to Tenebris- who claimed to have witnessed them in their sleep one night, starting up the cult the next day- Obitus plans on completely obliterating the Earth of humanity and civilization and told them to prepare for the end of the world. basically.

When this will happen?....Tenebris wasn't told that.

They also do not know what this otherworldly overlord looks like- however, they know an eye-shaped symbol (on Tenebris' hat and necklace) is very important as that appeared in their dream too.

The temple is located in a very secluded mountain range- Tenebris was simply told to go there by Obitus and it was already there. Convenient.

As pictured above, members have to have the eye symbol engraved into their wrist (or palm)- after this, they happen to be almost under a trance or brainwashed.

When praying to Obitus, they expose out the arm with the marking and their other arm behind that one, raised up to their face. Like this:

I hope that makes sense sjkksjks- while they do have lengthy prayer times and different types of prayers, a short and simple one they use is "We place our faith in Obitus."

The temple is full of many different rooms, including a dining hall, summoning room and bunkers (Tenebris gets their own room, obviously.)

They also follow a strict schedule- They must be asleep by 8 p.m. and awake and ready for the day by 4 a.m. They have two food breaks- one for breakfast and one for dinner. Once a month, they also hold a summoning ritual in order to attempt communicating with Obitus once more.

Members have their own jobs as well as worshipping Obitus though- cooking, cleaning, assisting Tenebris; that's all done by them as well.

While Tenebris mainly targets lonely people or those who don't have a social life, they are happy to accept anyone in! Well, that is if you're over 18.

I'm afraid teenagers (and children) are not allowed to join. However, Tenebris does take note of minors who do want to join and if you're REALLY nice, may let you visit the temple if you do some errands for them.

EXTRA FACT STUFF ABOUT TENEBRIS:

I based them more off of what first comes to mind when you think of cults- and, unintentionally, they also partially remind me of the cult in Spooky Month which I forgot existed ;-;

Because, after researching real life cult leaders, I felt like their stories weren't really what I was going for with Tenebris.

I guess the Peoples Temple founded by Jim Jones and the Family Cult by Anne Hamilton-Byrne were partial inspirations- oh, and religious experiences I've had, Catholic-Christian ones that is. (this is in no way meant to portray anything bad about that religion- or any at all- I just wanted to make the cult-y side of this more interesting by basing it off of what I know.)

My sister nicknames them Tenny and I (as well as others hee hee) nickname em Tennis, so you might see that often lol

I'm pretty sure they're the first oc I posted about on here! Although I think the post got like 7 notes-

When I first drew them, which was a while ago, they were more like a triangle shape and had larger eyes- my sister likes this version more but I think it just looks goofier- might post it once I find it :D

Tenebris means Darkness in Latin (according to translators) because I couldn't think of a name for them and just thought "think of something kinda edgy, then make it Latin to sound cool >:D"

Obitus means Death in Latin (according to translators once more I can't speak Latin-)

Thank you for reading this far!! I'm going to just tag @night-terrorzz @lobotomize-d n @gummy-worms-in-my-brain since you lovely people seem to like this cult leader :>

#my art #my oc #oc art #art #Tenebris #have a nice day/evening

[sunflowervoltwentyeight]

Happy 28th! Here is my April 2024 fic rec, organized by word count, from longest to shortest. You can view my other fic recs here. Enjoy!

When All Is Said And Done by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10 (76k)

“You must be thinking of another of your ex-husbands,” Louis snapped back, and Harry stilled, slowly turning to face him. There was something almost dangerous in Harry's look then but Louis stayed firm, not cowering away.

“Thankfully, I only have the misfortune of one ex-husband,” Harry said darkly, snatching up the plates and slamming them onto the table. 

*****

Louis and Harry were married, but things fell apart, ending in divorce, broken hearts and separate lives. Years later, their paths cross once more, and time together forces old feelings to resurface. But is it too little, too late?

Greenhouses AU Series by TiredTiredTz / @tiredtiredtz (63k)

Glass Closets and Greenhouses (60k) Charlton Athletic defender Louis Tomlinson and worldwide sex symbol Harry Styles are rumoured to be hooking up after a viral video filmed at Harry’s Wembley show was posted online by Tommo’s twin sisters. Sources close to the pair tell us the couple have been dating for a while, with rumours of house hunting, marriage and even kids on the cards! Styles, 29, is as well known for his whirlwind love life as his chart topping music. Most recently linked to British fashion designer Alex Millet-Sloan, Harry has stayed tight-lipped on rumours of any romantic rendezvous between himself and footballer Tomlinson, 31, yet fans online are convinced that all evidence points to #Tomlinstyles being the real deal. Not Conditional (3k) Harry is bald and this is how I’m coping. Set a few years after the events of Glass Closets and Greenhouses.

It Feels Different When You’re With Me by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings (45k)

Harry fell in love with sign language as a kid. He never imagined the first love of his life would lead him straight to his second.

Every Lonely Place by HamPalpert (38k)

Facing the fact that he’s been prioritizing his career over his relationship, Harry proposes to his longtime boyfriend Louis on a whim. But when yet another work emergency takes precedence over their plans, Louis decides he’s had enough. Harry goes to bed drunk and alone, and when he wakes, he finds himself in an entirely different world. Over and over again, Harry visits a lifetime he’s once lived, across time and dimensions. And wherever there’s a Harry Styles, there’s a Louis Tomlinson.

The Act of Making Noise by suspendrs / @suspendrs (32k)

“Oh,” Harry frowns, waving him off. “No, I could never. I respect myself too much to sing for a living.”

It feels like a slap across the face, but Louis does his best not to stiffen, blinking once and then frowning. “What?”

“Those people are always so miserable, you know?” Harry says, hopping down off his stool and straightening his sweater. “There’s so much pressure on them, and they have to work so hard to keep up appearances, I can’t even imagine how difficult that is. I can’t even stand to listen to pop music today, let alone watch TV or read the magazines. It makes me so sad, thinking that those people, you know, the ones who actually went into it with heart, they only ever just wanted to make music and instead they got turned into things on leashes being paraded around to make money for other people,” he says. “Anyway, you can have the stool.”

Or, Louis's famous, Harry has no idea who he is, and they get snowed in together at a ski lodge in Vermont.

It’s About Time by kingsofeverything / @kingsofeverything (3k)

Best friends and roommates, Louis and Harry have been through a lot together, including law school for Louis, marriage and divorce for Harry. Their imminent eviction forces them to admit their feelings.

#28th appreciation #April fic rec #monthly fic rec #Larry fic rec #fic rec #hlcreators #read

[hainfulcupid]

Obsessed with this motherfucker so im gonna drop a few random headcanons about him

ALL ARE SFW AND JUST SILLY STUFF ☝️ im not used to sharing my headcanons publicly like this hyuck hyuck

there’s very little to go off of from this media since all we really have is a pilot with bare , and i MEAN BARE lore to go off of so a lot of this is really me filling in blanks becus im Insane .

> Nordic bunny’s planet has a robotic look to it, i think that he built it himself out of complete boredom along with its inhabitants (that he probably destroys too, out of boredom….)

> I like to think that his guitar strings function like cat whiskers, they aid him in vision and processing the world around him. They’ve definitely busted a few times during battle, causing him to be disoriented for a bit.

> Hates things that are vaguely shaped like snakes (do NOT BRING A CUCUMBER NEAR THIS MAN)

> purrs….meows…does all those silly cat sounds but they’ve got an electric guitar sound effect

> has retractable claws, they do wonders for a man needs a quick escape route !!!!

> related to the thing above, oh he so absolutely adores scratching things up . has the biggest scratching post ever .

> He’s lonely, not like he intends to be but his personality is offputting to many, one of those people who you have a hard time reading into the things they say because every word that comes out of his mouth always sounds insulting. naturally judgmental, thinks he has a keen eye for fashion despite wearing only undies.

> what is his deal with the undies anyways ? i think he has sensory issues so he wears very minimal clothing thinking he’s serving absolute cunt but no ones ever told him how dorky he looked, and if any of his minions did well…..lets just say They’re no longer with us.

> definitely has a weird way of giving gifts…you know how cats bring you things they’ve hunted? well he’s no different, he wants THAT praise he wants you to tell him how competent he is.

> his tail is an indicator of his mood, follows the same rules of a cat .

LOOK AT HIM. TELL ME THIS ISNT TRUE.

> claims he can’t fucking stand emotional music, but listens to sad 80s rock . but no one will see that, they’ll see him as the dude who’s constantly blasting oldies metal classics .

> I AM A NORDIC BUNNY FANG HAVER TRUTHER . I JUST KNOW HED HAVE A TONGUE PIERCING TOO .

> he’s so reluctant to touch, he never knows if he fully enjoys it or not, you’ll be petting down his back and feel his back quiver almost like it’s trying to avoid your touch but he’s also - purring…he’s a confusing little guy…

> If he ever does manage to form something vaguely friendship like, he’d suck ass at managing the connection, oh you invite him to a party ? he sends you an image of himself stuck in the toilet with a text underneath saying “SOZZ . CANT GO. TOILET TROUBLEZ”

> that being said , not having a lot of experiences with relationships, he’d have an avoidant attachment style, he’d also. subconsciously be as unlikable as possible, he has no clue what defines being cool and likable he’s a little clung onto “be as cool and mysterious as possible”

> says “mrr?” instead of “hm?”

> Oh. in my mind he uses he/she pronouns . finds comfort in expressing femininity .

> I can’t see this guy having a preference for dating… he will take anyone who can break through the massive thick wall he puts up.

THATS ALL FOR NOW UHHH UHHHH

#nordicbunny #nordic bunny #shredforce #shred force #headcanons #i am cringe and i am free #GUH #beetlereetles

[alexa-nowak]

One of my old texts from YouTube arguments about Astarion endings

I am not that invested in this discourse nowadays because I lost hope to change anyone's opinion and also, I am simply tired from dealing with toxic bs that I am getting as a response to some of my old comments on YT to this day. My favourites are those who will reply to my every comment to say how delulu I am and I probably just dreaming about being in a toxic relationships myself, while being unable to understand that people have their own ways to heal through art and that throwing poison on people like that is not helpful at all.

I will leave it there and funny enough, I am not even so much of AA fan, I just don't like people being ignorant and rude.

And I like writing essays, so here it is.

So, what this dark romance fantasy is about for me personally,(even though i prefer spawn romance, i absolutely understand the appeal of asc Astarion because honestly, i was all about this kind of romance during my childhood and teenage years, hardocore the Phantom of the Opera girl is here, inside your head 💀), and why it's also healing route for some players,and no, it's not about kinky vampiric banging.

1)A lot of people feel extremely worthless and insecure, lonely, like no one really cares for them at all. It's a very deep wound that hurts and it's difficult to overcome even in perfectly loving, healthy and supportive relationship with a good partner,and even with therapy. So fantasy about a vampire, being obsessed with you so much that he is ready to do absolutely anything just to be with you for forever is really comforting. Also,you don't have to think too much about your imperfections, because for him you like a center of his vampire heart.

Besides, you sympathise with him - it's like a selfcomfort mirror, i love this monster despite everything, so in a way, i accept myself despite any flaws i see in me.

2) Safety. When the world around you feel like a wilderness, full of monsters, it feels like only the most terrifying loving monster can protect you from it. He is powerful and protective, and i am so precious to him, that he will set the world on fire just so i would be safe.

3) Responsibility. As you may see, this kind of relationship have daddy issues vibes and codependency, and in real life, you can't just fully submit safely to anyone, I don't think i have to explain why it's a dangerous idea to seek this kind of relationships in real life. You have to stay a grown up independent person and seek safety for yourself without expecting someone to come and heal all your wounds. But this is fantasy, so finally you can use this as a comfort fantasy with no fear about being taking advantage of, without shame to be called childish and etc.

4) Independence. Spawn ending is very terrifying for anyone who has issues with feeling safe and independent, because some of us prefer violent power fantasies over "we have each other and that's all that matters", second of all, this ending also has some shady co-dependency undertone to it that can be triggering for some people. I love Spawn Astarion a little bit more more than Asc and yet my heart stayed absolutely broken after running away from the sun scene, and i hate that he is so dependent on Tav. Larian owes me some emotional refund after this.

5)SA trauma: it wasn't even seen as a possibility for healing way by writer, but it is for some.Asc Astarion feels like he is the most powerful creature in the world,and he is fully controlling everything that happens between him and Tav,so finally, it's a kind of situation where there is no chance of him being abused again. It's one of the reasons why some people become Doms in BDSM dynamic relationships: finally, full control of the process and a partner, who trusts then enough to fully submit, trust issues is also big deal in Astarion story of healing. I find idea that that only Subs can enjoy Asc Astarion a little bit naive. Because,well, some news for you: Doms like it too because they understand why he is so eager to be a top :D

Unrealistic, not the healthiest way? Probably! But this man and this love is not real anyway.

Yes, i think many of us, especially folks who went through therapy and a lot of self reflecting are already aware that it's basically romanticized version of narcissistic obsession and in real life this is creepy, but it's not real, it's a fantasy. People use BDSM to heal, romance books and all other forms of art to deal with their inner demons and it's absolutely normal. Even if someone is blind to see what is wrong with Asc Astarion, I highly doubt that toxic bucket of shame and aggression are able to help see anyone problematic side of things. Do you know who is usually up to romanticize toxic dynamic in romance? Victims of abuse. In real life, if you just scream and yell at any poor girl/boy/whatever about how stupid they are for believing that their abusive partner really loves them, people will either break down and cry or tell you to f#ck off and they will have every right to do so, but they won't see what's wrong with their partner,in whom quite often victims of abuse see their only source of love and safety in life.

Hells, I am so sick and tired from this "white cloak knight saviour from cycle of abuse" toxic flood in this fandom. If you really want to educate people - do it with extreme care and compassion. Real life healing is not working like it's with Astarion in the game,few right dialogs and boom, dude is on the right path.

It takes enormous amount of patience and love, be kind to one another, and stay safe, darlings. Being toxic on Asc fans you are not helping anyone, you just hitting your superiority complex button in your ass.

#astarion #ascended astarion #astarion bg3 #bg3 astarion #bg3 discourse #also I passionately hate modern fandom culture and politics around liking the bad guy #and surface level twitter psychology that is so popular right now #Spotify #fandom discourse

[noxtivagus]

🤍

#🌙.rambles #continuation!!!!! #i think. this world is lonely for people who think like me #especially since i'm still young i think it's harder for me to find people like me #wah... moments n nights like these #my whole family's basically sick at this point but we're happy #i love how i smile as you smile. how i laugh as you laugh #i love how i imagine. there are worlds in my head that only i know #i love how i write n how i'm aware of how the memories n my life n myself #n i love the way i analyze myself n others #n how my experiences have made me to be this way #i want to do a lot better tho n keep on improving myself #so i'll read! n learn! n study harder! #one aspect in my life that i've been particularly weak tho is socially #frankly idk how i'm really supposed to fix that😭 but i try #idk it's a bit hard to get closer w ppl lately when we're all busy #n maybe it's my intuition or anxiety but #i wonder if i've ever been the first choice. or someone special. maybe in a childhood friend way or the friend you can confide in #the one you go to for advice? or the one that comforts you. i wonder what i mean to others #as usual though above all i want to focus on improving myself. holistically #i still feel so sick rn wah i'm gna rest ><

[shorthaltsjester]

the mighty nein - critical role

this is a place where i don't feel alone. this is a place where i feel at home.

#also with softer vibes. i offer They #every silly little brainheart found family deserves a to build a home edit #the mighty nein maybe most of all. thats my family #also the lyrics deliciously well suited to m9. #when jester pulls that. stupid tarot card for fjord. home or traveler. and there's a carnival wagon. and veth says Thats Us! . them #i just think about . the tower is their home the xhorhouse is their home the lavish chateau is their home the balleater. the mistake. #the nein heroez. veth and yezas apartment. the dome. fjord and jesters living room floor. #a bar with a silly name on rumblecusp #also like. the song has stone and dust imagery. gardens and trees. #the inherent temporality of life and love and how that holds no bearing on how greatly people can love. im losin it okay. #ive been making this edit for days straight with my computer screaming at me for trying to shove 143 episodes of cr into a 2min20sec video. #crying becuase. theyre a family do you get it. they were nine lonely people and most of them had given up on seeing their own lives #as something that might be good. something that might make the world a better place. and in the end they're heroes. #and it doesn't matter if no one else knows because They know they're heroes. and they wouldn't've believed that was true when they met. #rattling the bars of my enclosure. to be loved is to be changed #posted on twitter and want to get in the habit of posting here too bc. #general reasons but also bc . i have noticed some of the ppl liking/sharing it are also ppl who shit on my ops by vaguing about my posts #which is in general whatever but does leave a funny taste in my mouth. #critical role #the mighty nein #cr2 #caleb widogast #caduceus clay #jester lavorre #fjord #veth brenatto #yasha nydoorin #beauregard lionett #mollymauk tealeaf #my posts

[dayurno]

what do u like about allison? not attacking u or anything she's just always fell flat to me and im open to enlightenment

shes funny to me :) i like that she's catty and entitled and insufferable, but that there are moments where it slips (namely grieving seth, but also offering herself up to be a confidante to neil, crumpling into renee after andrew hurts her) and we get to see that she's terrified of herself And others and that money could not buy her a sense of self nor a reasonable emotional framework. there are also small things about her that i just find endearing, like the few times where her and matt act like siblings (when the foxes get rained on and matt takes a picture of her looking soaked, much to her horror, and when jeremy shows the foxes his game plan for the semi finals and allison tugs incessantly at matts sleeve to let her see it) and her horrible betting problem, the way she knew neil caused seth's death but also knew she couldn't live her whole life with that grudge, her gossip habits, the way she desperately wants to fix everything with money (taking the foxes out to the cabins after neil got kidnapped always seemed like such an obvious attempt to soothe the team to me, but allison was not raised on affection and the only way she can conceive it is through what she can offer them in monetary terms + i'm reminded of the bit in the ec that allison keeps a trustfund for the foxes' children and that she pays for renee's child's medical bills) etc!

i do mean it when i say that allison and kevin are not all that different, and they have a very similar understanding (or lack thereof) of the way relationships work, but allison can be such a steorotype sometimes it's hard to allow ourselves to see her as anything but a tall hot glass of skank, whereas we naturally give kevin more nuance and space for humanity because we are taught to believe men are more capable of complexity than women. one of my favorite allison is kevin in a wig moments is the fact that allison's goal with seth ('to make a real man out of him', to give him something to live for, to make him want to achieve it) is exactly the same as kevin's goal with andrew

#asks #allison #i think this is all? #but yeah i feel like allison can be very misunderstood because at face value she's playing the role of heiress perfectly #and its well its not unlike kevin's exy robot bit is it #i think they are both people who have developed a very specific shield to protect them from the world outside #and just because allison's is easier to be around doesn't mean that she's not just as lonely as kevin at the end of the day #thank you for letting me ramble about her! made me remember how fond i am of this horrible woman

[soldier-poet-king]

I need to be weirder. I need to hang out/talk with more intensely weird and deeply genuine people, and more frequently

#franposting #apropos of me being weirder and more terrible and more honest lately #and it feels. good? mentally clearer. more at peace #this isnt some oh small talk is bullshit nonsense #it has a place! we need socisl scripts to be polite and function sometimes! #i am simply saying that i personally have spent far too long being the idea of a person. the mask of one #that i want to start being a real person. my pinocchio ass out here like #people pleasing out of fear needs to stop. you can be unsettling. babe. babe its okay. you can laugh ugly and loud and be strange #and too intense and think too much and say strange things #and the world wont end. you can be a person warts and all #it is so weird. and also lowkey pathetic that i am only realizing this now aged 27 #like. my fear didnt make me more palatable or more loved. #it just made me lonely AND more depressed #i might still be isolated and lonely and offputting. but at least i can laugh at myself in joy in the meanwhile #idk if that makes any sense but it does to me so maybe thats all that matters for this post #ANYWAY everyone who ive been talking w lately #(yall know who u are) #im like. thank u. thank u

[kkujo]

something i don't see people talking about is the way hyperfixations come in like stages and cycles like it's not just "i'm obsessed with this thing" it's like. euphoria from finding something new and it brings you so much joy and then as that initial dopamine rush wears off you start to get more and more down and feel isolated as you start to realise that no one else cares about it as much as you do and you feel silly for being so into it and the thoughts become repetitive and boring so you get more and more depressed and lonely and then you inevitably lose the hyperfix which leaves you drifting feeling miserable and hopeless until you start the cycle again. idk if i explained this well or if other people will understand but it brings genuine phases of euphoria and straight up depression and this is why i get annoyed when neurotypicals use words like hyperfixation to describe like, an interest. bc it's not. just an interest it becomes who you are and when you lose it it's like losing yourself and you spend so much energy thinking about it that it interrupts your daily life and it's so fucking draining 👍

#like if i see one more nt being like hyperfixation this hyperfixation that SHUT UP!! YOU HAVE AN INTEREST #talk to me when you stay up until 6am every night bc you can't fucking sleep bc ur thinking about it. #talk to me when you can't process emotions in a normal healthy way because you can only relate it back to your hyperfix #paired w madd especially it's IMPOSSIBLE to be normal about shit i swear 2 god because the second i'm upset or lonely it's straight back to #immersing myself in another world and being someone else and not facing my emotions instead letting 'someone else' deal with them #not just negative emotions yk it's anything it's fully immersive to the point i end up not knowing exactly who i am myself bc i'm rarely #myself in my head yk #and it's so isolating #and this is why i get mad when people use these terms lightly bc they don't fucking get it #oh you're hyperfixated? oh you're delusional? you're delulu? watch this #< guy who has delusions that all of his friends secretly hate him bc he's too insane abt xyz media and who feels alone bc no one else is as #into it even though it wouldn't be reasonable to expect them to be #like i'm constantly questioning whether all my friends are secretly against me & finding me annoying anytime i talk about it but it's fine #it's so fucking isolating #i'm not losing my hyperfix yet thank god but i am in the stage of like realisation where the initial euphoria has worn off and i'm like #fuck no one else gets it. no one else is thinking about it like i am. and it's so lonely #< like not to sound like 'i'm 14 and no one gets me' or i'm not like other girls or whatever 😭 #it's not me being dramatic i genuinely. know that no one else is spending every waking moment thinking about the things i am the way i do #and it's so incredibly depressing i can't even explain it in a way that will make sense #because i want to talk about it so fucking bad and i can't. even to my friends and gf who always listen i end up feeling annoying #and then i get genuinely delusional not like tiktok girl voice delulu like i genuinely start questioning my entire reality #just if i talk about something a little too much #bc i'm convinced i'm fucking annoying and no one gets it and they're thinking bad things about me #but i know they wouldn't. but it feels like they are #idk #anyways !

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

the dichotomy in TXF s8/9 of Scully being more lonely than ever without Mulder but at the same time being more surrounded by people who care about her than we have EVER seen in the series before

#skinner the gunmen doggett monica her mom #even layla harrison who thinks the world of her and would bumblingly do anything for her #s8/9 takes away mulder the most important person but it also gives scully community in a way we've never seen before #she has her parents and one(1) friend in s1 she has maggie and melissa in s2 she has maggie and bill in s4/5 #but in the later seasons we're shown JUST HOW MANY PEOPLE love her (and mulder) and care about her #it makes me want to cry a little bit. she is so lonely but she's not alone. #Lu rambles #txf #the x files #dana scully #txf s8 #txf s9 #meta finding tag #i feel like krycek deserves an honorable mention bc he actually protects her for a hot second and then says ''drive safely'' #which has always felt somehow wildly in character yet also inexplicable to me. weird amounts of respect in his last minutes

[kenmakaashi]

also I’m so glad that moonlight chicken talked about touch being important to deaf people especially. As the episodes were rolling past, I was thinking about how little touch heart’s probably received in the two (I think) years since he’s been officially deaf with the way he stays home all day and the way his parents communicate with him via notes. he’s had little human interaction for a few years, is probably afraid and overwhelmed with how much his life has changed and his parents aren’t being there to comfort him, instead they’re actively shutting him inside and cutting him of all connection. i can’t even imagine what he’s feeling rn. having someone who wants to be around him and understand him without knowing the him before. with li ming understanding him, he doesn’t have to worry about any thoughts like “did he like me the way I was before?” sure, other thoughts might come like, “am I too much of a bother because I’m deaf?” but how relieving that there’s no seeking to return to the previous self with li ming

#like let me preface this with saying that I’m not deaf and don’t have anything related to it #but I think about my grandfather who said he feels left out when we all talk too quiet for him to hear #I think of real stories I’ve read of disabled queer people who have talked about being lonely and yearning for touch #and being torn apart from the world not even under your own choice but your mothers… #anyways. I’ve been thinking about this #moonlight chicken

[gayvampyr]

y’all piss me off im going to bed

#stfg calling me a lesbophobe for relating to lesbian experiences #that’s not enforcing gender roles that’s just relating to queerness #‘ur a lesbophobe for thinking being a tomboy or not wanting to get married is a lesbian experience’ log tf off bro #and then to just rant on about high femmes and shit like i don’t fucking know anything about my own community and culture 🙃 #like yeah i know that lesbianism isn’t just being butch. im literally a fucking chapstick /femme leaning lesbian #but for a lot of lesbians gender nonconformity is a big part of their identity #can straight women be ‘butch’ or a tomboy? certainly. but it is still a staple of queerness and it’d just be ignorant to ignore it or preten #d it isn’t #so who gives a shit if i think merida is a lesbian #stop worrying and shitting your pants about where queer people find comfort and kinship in this lonely world that doesn’t want us to exist #if i think merida is a lesbian because i a lesbian relate to her experiences then you can mind your own damn business and stop fussing over #whether i relate to her for ‘the right reasons’ #headass #i just realized it’s the same person who was being fatphobic on my post about EDs too #seems like they just like starting arguments for the sake of feeling superior

[dancing-with-stars]

guys. guys !!!!

#vanu is rambling #ok idk this is gonna b a happy post but i think there are lots of people who love me in this world. or at least enjoy my presence. #like i always always always ALWAYS doubt if my friends or family like me and in my head they all secretly hate me #but like for these past couple months things have been different. #i don’t feel so left out (like i usually do in groups) or alone. #like my friends genuinely want me there like they always ask me to go places with them. and i almost always say no because im so busy or #i just cant but they still ask me everytime. yesterday the whole group was calling and playing a game and i got a bunch of texts like hey #where are you u shud join the call it’s rly fun ! but i just couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone at that moment. #today they were rly happy when i joined the call and idk it made me feel like. oh. maybe my friends do like me #and also i have two moods: i’m either super talkative or i go into my little shell and don’t say anything/add to a convo. and like during #those moments they’ll be like hey u ok? or they’ll just listen to me talk about ceramics and how fun it is or how much i hate eating pears #and like. we laugh so much together. like i have so much fun with all of them i love every single one of them omg #and scary thing is we might not even be friends after we start college. but yk what? that’s okay i don’t wanna think about that. #because like who cares? i’m not gonna let my fears ab the future ruin my friendships. i’ll always love them anyways. and we’ll always call. #i’m glad i met them. they’re all such beautiful and funny and amazing strong willed-people. they are my friends. #it’s just so crazy to me that they willingly want to spend time w me and are sad when i can’t. and they’re so understanding at the same time #they don’t get mad about it. and like they have mad eng last year in high school so much more enjoyable. #someone told me that this is ur last year do things so when you look back you don’t regret anything- so you can be proud of what you did #and my friends helped me with that. and like i still feel lonely the majority of the class because despite this there’s like a permanent #stain of sadness right there at the bottom of my heart. but they make the hard days more manageable. #like i’ve been on call with these people until ungodly hours at night just laughing and i go to sleep feeling a bit lighter. #they introduced me to the tech side of theater which i never thought i’d get into but here i am. they teach me silly facts and words in asl. #they taught me dances- knowing full well i SUCK at it- because we all had fun with it. theyve taught me it’s OKAY to be vulnerable in #friendships and that sometimes being open/yourself is quite literally the best thing you can do for your own soul and others. they’re cool #people really. really cool people

[liminalweirdo]

.

#actually looking back through my ao3 my real dissatisfaction with my writing really only started in 2021 #after a couple of years of almost exclusively co-writing #i always attributed the decline in quality to 2018 when i was so burnt out i lost significant ability to perform IADLs #but it was definitely c. late 2021 and early 2022 #when i could sense the decline in my writing skill and enjoyment and so took multiple breaks from co-writing to write solo again #it's weird i co-wrote (and did written roleplays) SO MUCH as a teenager and in my early 20s #and never developed this massive block when i wrote solo back then #maybe it was partially the pandemic #i know my inability to go out in the world has significantly impacted my connection to like... reality and The Real World and Society #i don't talk to people anymore -- everyone's schedules got so messed up that even my friends who i spoke to regularly #when Work Hours were a thing for me all faded a lot #like we're still friends but i don't speak to anyone but my partner regularly #it's so lonely? #anyway i think i made the right choice when i started exclusively writing solo again but i sure miss the excitement and drive of co-writing #idk maybe i just need a boost #mutuals who want to co-write a SDT fic with me hit me up #seriously #disability #liminal scrawlings

[aroaceofthesea]

People hate on bianca but if i was given the chance of being immortal AND not having to be with my sister 24/7 i would absolutely take it some of you don't have any siblings and it shows

#i rlly related to bianca in that moment and then ppl were hating on her for it and it broke my heart #i love bianca even tho we barely got to see her #also like she is her own person not only nicos brother and she may have hurt nico but that shouldnt have to be her way of making decisions #people usually complain that ''she didnt think of what was best for nico'' or that ''she abandoned him the first chance she got'' #1) nico shouldnt have to be the center of her world even if it sometimes hurts him #2) shes a literal 12 year old #3) good for her i would totally want to join the hunters #also like. she was being offered a life free of all the responsabilities she'd had till then with girls who wanted to be her friends #look at me in the eyes and tell me you wouldnt take it #even if your little brother may feel a bit lonely before making friends in this camp that also sounds pretty cool #even if its not quite as cool as what youre getting #bianca di angelo #pjo #mine

[tariah23]

I hope that white gay couple who adopted that adorable little black child goes to hell so fast ohhhhh

#they’re already propping the baby up on their SM and using her for content… #transracial adoption is a curse #I wish every child adopted by wp the utmost support and safety for the coming years #most of the time they end up so screwed up #they’re isolated from their own people and history and are raised white because most wp don’t care if the child loses their sense of self #and awareness in these situations that they’re thrusted in just because wp wanna look like they aren’t racist for the gram or whatever tf #hiding behind their children to shield them from accusations of racism is crazy #the white gay dude posted a video of himself combing the babies hair too hard talking about some ‘um can I get some help here black people’ #basically like man you could’ve looked it up online yourself you clown #wp be adopting minority children for selfish reasons #the children don’t know any better when their peers use microagressions towards them and they think it’s normal behavior they don’t know #anyone who looks like them #it makes me so sad thinking about the stuff that they have to go though and it’s sad that most of them are only able to be free once they #leave home and I know the the culture shock must be insane…. #finally being around people who look just like you but you don’t feel like you’re part of their world… that must feel so lonely bro #at a certain point you’ll have to teach yourself these things #rambling