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marssmellow · 8 months

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I wanna share a bit of a life story to explain WHY I feel I am gonna crush this academic year and I'm finally gonna be the top of my class. Pay attention folks, because this is probably gonna be a once in a lifetime show. I am not usually that comfortable sharing my life story online — I also don't want to share anything because I really don't like the Internet BUT my journal is far away and I am too lazy to pick it up so I am writing here instead (I am, in fact, lying to you. My journal is in the bedside table next to my head right now. I am just too lazy at the moment). Btw I feel like this is a story worth knowing about me as a person that all of you, little people who follow this blog + my three (3) real life friends simply must know to understand me. So fasten your seatbelts, we are going down memory lane together.

(tw: mention of sexual assault)

So, when I was in elementary school I was your typical golden child. I was so good in all of the classes and I always got the best marks. Of course, you are thinking "Whaaat, elementary school is not hard??" You'd be surprised. For some reason, elementary schools in Italy are hard. We learn, of course, all the basics, like the alphabet and how to add numbers and all that shit, but we also learn stuff that your typical 6-year-old wouldn't, like rhyming schemes and syllable patterns, chemical reactions, a bit of algebra, the idea of historical process, English and all that stuff (disclaimer: I do not know if this was the case just for my school or my teachers. I just know that we didn't limit ourselves to the alphabets and the names of colours). Apart from a general difficulty in math (probably caused by an undiagnosed dyscalculia) I was very good. However, I had a competitor. My best friend ALSO wanted to be the best in my class. The only difference between us was that, while I was effortlessly talented (I am saying this with every ounce of humility in my body), she tried really hard. I learned this after a long time, but she had very strict parents that used to treat her very badly if she didn't get the highest mark in a test. She went as far as to complain to the teacher if I got a higher grade that hers in tests. And here's the kicker: she would take it out on me. She used to make me feel bad because I got the full mark while she didn't. Of course, it wasn't my fault, but my little brain did not know that and I remember feeling anxious every time the teacher would give us the result of a test because I wanted to know how HER test went. You can well imagine the effect this had on me. I started doubting myself and blaming myself for other people's results. Maybe that's why I want to be a professor now, or maybe it has nothing to do with that. We will never know. The point is that I started to seriously think that she was better than me because she put all this crazy effort into her test while I just...winged them. I seriously did not study that much. I found the tests easy. That's probably something to do with the fact that I was genuinely curious about the subjects and I absorbed the information like a sponge. Anyway, that was the first thing on my path.

In middle school I was heavily bullied and I even was abused by one of these classmates that thought it was funny to grab on my body (yes, I do have a nice set of boobs) whenever he thought convenient. If that guy is reading this, which I highly doubt, go fuck yourself. Anyway, those were the worst years of my life, let me tell you. I was even bullied by a teacher. This teacher used to be my brother's math teacher 13 years back, and he thought it was extremely funny to constantly remind me how my brother was so much better than me. Once again, nobody ever thought that my struggle with math was probably a product of an undiagnosed dyscalculia, but here I was. Bullied by my math teacher. Around this time, I still had competition in the classroom. Another of my classmates competed with me for the highest grades. But let me tell you. She was so beautiful. It was around this time that I should have started realizing that I probably liked girls because I now realize I had the biggest crush on her. I really didn't care if she was better than me, because she was beautiful, and she was cool and she was dating the boss of the bullies. The class used to hate on me every time I said in class that I loved a book, or every time I would answer a question, or that I would get a nice grade. I remember this classmate of mine that almost beat me up because I got a higher grade than him in technical art — because he wanted to be an architect but I was the top of the class. It was horrible. Those three years taught me to keep my interests to myself to not be hated. It made me hate all those things that made me happy. So I gradually convinced myself that the things I enjoyed...I was the only one enjoying them. Those things were mine and mine alone and nobody would ever understand me. I felt alone. Misunderstood. Hopeless, even. Because the things I liked I couldn't pursue.

This is why I chose a high school with a scientific path. Because my brother is an engineer and all my mother could say was how you couldn't live off of books. So I chose physics, chemistry, math and science in general. Because my family said those are the only things that matter. Because literature, and art, and history and philosophy will leave me jobless. Do you remember the undiagnosed dyscalculia? Yes, it wasn't funny. I failed pretty much all of my math tests. Physics I could pull off. I could decently pass chemistry and biology because it was mainly words and not a lot of numbers. But let me tell you — I was happy. My teachers were AMAZING. My math teacher, he is the nicest man in the world (he is also a feminist and an anarchist and I lost myself in conversations about the patriarchy with him a lot of times. He was very funny too. He is so intelligent, he probably could have guessed I had an undiagnosed dyscalculia but I forgive him for that). And my classmates were cool. They didn't bully me. We soon enough recognized that we were there for the same reason — we were all nerds in something. I was, of course, the nerd in humanities. The only incident I can report happened in the third year, when some of my classmates basically ambushed me and forced me to come out as an asexual bisexual (at the time I thought I was bi. Now I know that I was a lesbian in denial). I never forgave them because I used to trust them. But for the rest, things went smoothly. But where is the problem? Well, for four years I was forced to study things I didn't really enjoy. I was terrible. My grades sucked. I was good in Italian, in history and English and art and philosophy, but the key courses? Let's not even mention them. It was a disaster. I lost all of my confidence and all of my passion.

Which is why I decided to study Languages in uni. I wanted out of the scientific world. Back to humanities I go! It was not easy. My study methods were all calibrated to study and learn and memorize scientific stuff. I remember that I passed my Philology exam because I studied the High German consonant shift using my geometry method. I LOVED these past three years of uni. I don't think I was ever this happy. I finally was able to study something I liked, free of judgment (my family, by this point, recognized that my talents lied somewhere else, and not in chemistry or maths) and free of competition. I could be myself. Freedom.

But. There's always one, right? But this was not true freedom. I was still studying things I didn't really like. Like Spanish, for example. I had to choose a second language and Spanish was the easiest course — or so I was told, because let's be honest, that course was NOT easy, even as an Italian native speaker. Everyone that tells you that Spanish and Italian are similar is LYING. Anyway, you can well imagine how a person that lived through what I experienced can feel about studying stuff you don't like. It felt constraining.

During the past two years, I got very lucky. I found myself a partner that loves me for who I am. Friends that support me and love me and make me laugh and are there for me, and that are genuinely interested in my interests. Friends that root for me, even. My family did a complete 360 and now supports me and my plans for the future. I found a professor that not only accepted to be my supervisor but that goes on and beyond to help me in my career. I feel like I'm on top of the world.

Around two years ago, I realized which Master's I wanted to take. It's in the same university, my supervisor is one of the teachers. This means at least another year with my friends and my partner in the city I love, doing the things I enjoy the most. So, these last two years have felt like...a rite of passage. Like something I had to do in order to get to my Master's. Which can be a great motivator, but it can also transform everything that you do into a chore. I lacked intrinsic motivation. All of my motivation was external. "I have to take this Spanish exam so I can graduate and get to my Master's". That's what I thought for pretty much every single one of my exams. I am not gonna lie, if this is your mindset then studying becomes boring. That's what happened to me, I lost most of my motivation to study and do good. I wasn't studying for the sake of learning, I was studying to get a decent mark on the exam and get accepted in my Master's. It was not pretty. It got me pretty anxious too.

But now? Now everything is changing. I no longer have that kind of motivation. The classes I had to take "for the sake of the grade" are no longer there. All the classes of the next two years are interesting, fun, and motivating. Every single one of them will teach me something for my future career AND are genuinely interesting. Which means that, this time around, I have both internal AND external motivation.

Which is what brings me back to my main point. I feel, I KNOW I will crush this academic year. I have the potential to be at the top of my class again. I know I shouldn't brag (but damn I amaze and astonish, as Hamilton would say) but I really feel this way. My mindset shifted during these summer months and I cannot wait to test this new life philosophy. I really can't wait for this new, big adventure, and to see where it will take me. I hope it's somewhere bright and beautiful. I had enough of the darkness.

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themurphyzone · 7 years

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Double Date

A PnF/MML crossover. Oneshot. Read this on a full stomach. I’m kind of craving seafood now....

Perry was starting to wish he’d gone with a simple Chinese buffet per Heinz’s original suggestion. But nope.

He’d wanted a special dinner at an expensive seafood restaurant as a “congratulations, you aren’t evil anymore and we can finally have a night out without OWCA calling it a fraternization”. And he’d heard this place had excellent calamari. He couldn’t help it.

Some platypi just required a more sophisticated palette.

He’d saved up his salary for months (completely denying that he’d planned almost as extensively as Heinz once did for his schemes), scoured the Flynn-Fletcher and Doofenshmirtz couches for pocket change, and put in a reservation three weeks ago.

In short, they’d both been looking forward to this night.

Then they found out that the restaurant lost their reservation.

“What do you mean you can’t find it? Perry the Platypus booked it way ahead of time!” Heinz complained. “And believe me, I’ve seen him eat more than his weight in crab cakes before. Is it because he’s a platypus? Because I can tell you that he acts more like a tiny human. If humans had cute little webbed feet or tails, that is.”

Perry tugged on Heinz’s pant leg as he argued with the staff, silently pleading with him to not cause a scene. It was fine. They’d both live. Besides, it’s not like this was the only restaurant in the city. But his stomach was craving calamari, and he couldn’t help but chatter sadly.

Heinz glanced down, ruffling Perry’s fedora. “Come on, don’t give me that pouty beak look. That one. You know I can’t stand it.” Perry stifled a smile with his hand.

“Party of four, Murphy!” a waitress called. “Your table is ready!”

A family of four stood up from the waiting area, a chair collapsing as soon as the youngest pulled on his backpack. Perry wondered why anyone would need a heavy looking backpack inside a restaurant. Maybe he had a late day at school. “Whoops, sorry about that,” the father said. “There’s not gonna be an extra charge, right?”

“No, these chairs are easily replaceable. Don’t worry about it,” a staff member said. He turned his attention to Heinz and Perry. “Excuse me, sirs. It seems there was a glitch in the system for some reason. Now that it’s gone, a reservation for Perry popped up.”

“Yes, that’s us!” Heinz exclaimed, grinning at Perry. “And you were so worried there!”

Perry smiled up at him. So was he.

“I deeply apologize for the inconvenience. Nadia will show you to your seats,” he turned them over to a rather short woman. As she led them to their seats, Perry saw movement out the corner of his eye. There was a white tablecloth moving from underneath the long table. The restaurant patrons continued to talk, completely oblivious to it.

It continued to edge towards the back of the restaurant, where the Murphy family was seated. Perry spotted four stubby legs and a tail poking out from underneath. Well, a quadruped making its way across a restaurant would never top Perry’s list of strangest things he’d ever seen.

Their table was set up between two chairs and a long couch that extended against the wall. Perry and Heinz made themselves comfy on the couch, though Perry’s bill hovered slightly over the table. Nadia promised their server would be out soon and left to take care of other customers, leaving behind two menus.

“When the server comes out, I’ll ask for a booster seat,” Heinz said, twirling a coaster in his hand. “I don’t think anyone could possibly eat comfortably if they were in your position right now. But man am I glad that situation cleared up so quickly. I swear I was about to have an evil relapse back there. Can you get evil relapses? I mean, not you obviously. Unless someone hit you with something that made you evil. But otherwise, you don’t have the capabilities to be evil. Mean, maybe. Reserved, definitely. But not evil.”

Perry pointed to the calamari under the appetizer section. “Any chance you picked this restaurant because you wanted calamari?” Heinz smirked. Perry rolled his eyes and made a so-so gesture. “I knew it. And you won’t steal the entire dish? This is just the appetizer after all.” He raised an eyebrow. “That’s a maybe, isn’t it? You’re a good guy, Perry the Platypus. I thought you practically lived under sharing is caring!”

In Perry’s opinion, sharing is caring did not apply to food.

“Hello, my name is Henry and I’ll be your server this evening,” a young man said. “How may I get you gentlemen started?”

“Never pegged you for a gentlepus,” Heinz leaned down to whisper. Perry shoved his face away playfully. Heinz actually being a gentleman. That’d be the day. “Can we get two iced teas, both with lemon, a booster seat, and the calamari appetizer please?”

Henry jotted the order down on a notepad. “Two iced teas with lemons, a booster seat, and calamari. All right, I’ll have those ready for you. Please take all the time you need to find an entree.”

He brought out the booster seat in less than three minutes. Perry took out a cushion stored in his fedora and laid it on the seat, smoothing it out before plopping down. “My fedora didn’t come with secret compartments,” Heinz pouted. “I’m half-expecting you to pull medieval weaponry at some point. Wait. Medieval. Evil. Medieval. Course now that I’ve actually given up evil that I actually find a rhyme for it. Do you think OWCA would mind if I finished composing the rest of the jingle?”

Perry shrugged, his attention being on a pair of strange looking men. The one with a mustache to rival Major Monogram’s grumbled the entire way. He was dressed in an incredibly formal green outfit about two centuries too early. He stopped and stared toward the back of the restaurant, his fists clenching.The shorter one seemed to notice and pulled him into the couch a space away from Heinz and Perry.

“If that guy and Monobrow entered a mustache competition, who do you think would win?” Heinz asked. Perry raised a finger above his eyes. “Yeah, the unibrow would probably add a few bonus points.”

There was a loud crash from the back, and all chatter ceased as everyone watched a girl about Candace’s age standing protectively in front of her brother, blocking him from the remains of a light fixture. She turned and murmured a few quick words, the boy laughing and shrugging it off. The parents made sure they were all right before taking their seats and continuing on as if nothing had ever happened.

Perry was just glad the kid was all right.

“You get the impression that’s normal for them?” Heinz wondered. Before they could speculate more on the matter, Henry brought the calamari.

“Are you ready to order?” Henry asked with a smile.

Perry tapped the shrimp and crab combo on the menu with a chatter. “Sorry, he doesn’t talk. He’s a platypus,” Heinz said. Perry made a few more gestures, which Heinz interpreted for Henry. “He wants a side of green beans and mashed potatoes. And I’d like the rainbow trout with corn and rice.”

Henry nodded and gathered their menus. “Not an issue. We’re used to animals with fedoras eating here anyway, but most of the time it can be a challenge to actually interpret what they want. No matter. In the meantime, enjoy your calamari!”

Perry immediately claimed the marinara sauce, which earned him a scowl from Heinz. “I won’t double dip this time, I promise!”

“Hey, does that calamari taste as good as it looks?” the man next to them called. “Oh, sorry. Name’s Vinnie Dakota, by the way. There I go shooting my mouth off again.”

“Nah, I feel you,” Heinz grinned. “And yes, the calamari is pretty good. It would taste better if a certain somebody would quit hogging the sauce.”

He glared at Perry, who shrugged innocently and scooted the small bowl of marinara away from his companion. Vinnie laughed. “So you’re a platypus. This is really cool actually. All the other ones I’ve seen around here don’t do much.”

Heinz bit into a piece of calamari. Perry winced at his decision to do introductions with a full mouth. “This is Perry the Platypus by the way. He’s my best friend. And I’m Heinz Doofenshmirtz.”

The other man scoffed and looked away, leaning on the table with an elbow.

Vinnie shot his companion a reproachful look. “Don’t be rude. We just met them. I’m really sorry about him. That sourpuss there is Balthy-”

“Balthazar Cavendish,” he grumbled. “Pleasure.”

“You’ll have to excuse him. Stressful job,” Vinnie said. “We’re in the same field.”

“So where do you work then?” Heinz asked.

“Pistachio plant.”

“Food truck company.”

Balthazar and Vinnie glanced at each frantically, before correcting themselves. “We drive food trucks from pistachio plants. You know, high demand and all. You’d be surprised how many people like pistachios,” Vinnie said.

Perry could tell they were lying, but he wasn’t sure why. But he could understand it, since he and Heinz couldn’t exactly tell random people they were secret agents who fought evil scientists on a daily basis.

“We’re agents who-” Perry threw a piece of calamari at Heinz’s face to shut him up, quickly motioning for him to make up a lie. “Um, I mean, we’re agents for a modeling business.” To Perry, he whispered, “See? I didn’t give anything away! And I’m getting payback for that piece you threw at me, just you wait.”

Perry buried his head in his arms. A modeling business was really the best he could come up with. A modeling business.

“Hey, you wanna sit over here?” Heinz asked. “There’s plenty of room. It would be easier to hold a conversation if we didn’t have to speak over a platypus in a booster seat. You don’t mind, Perry the Platypus?”

Perry shook his head. It would be good for Heinz to hold a conversation with another adult without the glowers, sarcasm, or promises of revenge.

Vinnie sat across from Heinz, and Perry tipped his hat to him. “If I had a hat, I’d tip it right back to you. Fedoras really aren’t my style. I’m thinking a top hat so I could match Balthy, but that would likely be a terrible combo with a track suit,” he said, wrapping an arm around Balthazar’s shoulders when he finally joined them.

He tuned out of the conversation as Vinnie and Heinz rapidly switched from discussing hats, food, and music. As they compared the Lumberzacks to the Phineas and the Ferbtones, Perry watched Balthazar sneak glances to the family in the back, clearly waiting for something to happen.

Perry wondered why he was interested in them. Apart from the occasional accidents that occurred around the boy, they seemed like a normal family. When Balthazar excused himself to the restroom, telling Vinnie to order for him, Perry noticed a small cell phone-like device sticking out of his back pocket.

But cell phones usually didn’t have a miniature satellite on an antenna.

He shook it off. Maybe Balthazar was an inventor. Perry couldn’t help but be a little suspicious.

“Perry the Platypus, hey, Perry the Platypus,” Heinz singsonged, poking him in the side with an index finger. Perry let out a throaty growl at being jabbed, snapping at the offending finger, only for his bill to close on empty air. Heinz clutched his finger protectively. “I only wanted to know your favorite Love Handel song.”

Vinnie laughed. “Balthy acts the same way sometimes, only a little more uptight. And he says biting people is uncouth, but he probably only means that literally. At least yours doesn’t threaten to strangle random things with teabag strings.”

Henry came around again, bringing out Heinz and Perry’s orders on a large serving dish. As Vinnie ordered two salmon dishes, Perry pushed an entire shrimp into his mouth, spitting out the now-meatless tail back onto his plate.

Heinz wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Table manners always go out the window when there’s shrimp involved. Ugh.” Perry smirked at him. “If you make me lose my appetite while we’re here, that’s an extra dish you’re paying for.”

“You haven’t seen me around Mexican food,” Vinnie chuckled. “There’s a reason Balthy always vetoes burritos when I bring it up.”

Heinz voiced the question Perry had also been thinking. “So why do you work with him if he’s so disagreeable? Reminds me of this guy we work with. If he was British. And wore outdated clothes.”

Before Vinnie could reply, Balthazar came back from the restroom. “Did you order already?” he asked.

“I played it safe and ordered salmon for both of us,” Vinnie replied.

“Good,” Balthazar said, not noticing the others sneak glances as they tried to find another topic. Finally, Perry offered them the rest of the calamari. There were only a few pieces left, but it would be enough to hold them over until their food arrived. Vinnie accepted, thanking Perry with a full mouth. Balthazar grimaced at Vinnie spraying crumbs all over the table, using a cloth to wipe it off. “I suppose he isn’t letting go of that marinara sauce.”

In response, Perry moved his mashed potatoes over and dumped the rest of the marinara sauce on his plate, sliding the tiny bowl over with a flick of his wrist. “Okay, even I’ll admit that was kind of rude,” Heinz said.

“It’s okay, there’s still a little left in here,” Vinnie said, dipping a half-eaten piece in the bowl. Then he offered it to Balthazar, who gingerly set it on the table.

“You double-dipped,” Balthazar said. “Forget it.”

“I didn’t double-dip,” Vinnie held up his hands defensively. “I only dipped it once. Double dipping is when you dip twice. Therefore, I did not double-dip.”

Perry and Heinz ignored their argument, eating peacefully until there the couch vibrated slightly as something repeatedly bumped it.. “Perry the Platypus, stop it,” Heinz warned.

Perry set his fork down and shrugged, holding out his arms in confusion. There were several more soft thuds.

“Well something’s bumping my leg, and don’t think I haven’t seen you practicing that weird telekinetic thing with your fingers,” Heinz retorted.

Perry rubbed his bill with one hand in exasperation, then pointed down. It wasn’t his fault he accidentally discovered that pretending to use the Force actually tricked Norm. Heinz reached underneath the table and brought out a lumpy tablecloth. Perry grabbed the edge and yanked, revealing a tan dog with brown spots.

“Do you know this dog, Perry the Platypus?” Heinz asked. Perry shook his head. “He doesn’t look like one of our little friends. No, don’t eat our food! This stuff isn’t cheap, you know!” He moved the plates to the center of the table to prevent the canine from scarfing down the food, then set him on the seat. Perry sternly gave him a stay command. The dog huffed but flopped down obediently.

Balthazar glanced at the dog, rubbing his chin in thought. “That mutt looks familiar somehow.”

“Diogee!” a voice cried. “You’re not supposed to be at a seafood restaurant. Go home!” The boy from earlier ran up to their table with his arms wide open, and Diogee took a flying leap into them, knocking them both over. His body was slightly suspended in the air due to his backpack, and he laughed at all the licks he was receiving.

Finally, he stood up and dusted a few crumbs off his sweater vest. “Sorry about Diogee. He gets out a lot.”

Heinz waved off the apology. “Don’t worry about it, kid. Your dog is pretty adorable when he’s not trying to eat our food.”

“Thanks!” Milo grinned. Perry smiled back, reaching across the table for his plate so he could start eating again. “Oh, I recognize you two! I haven’t seen you since the day with that runaway fire truck! How are you?”

“Milo Murphy, right?” Vinnie said, shaking his hand and completely ignoring Balthazar’s indignant gasp. “Small world, I guess.”

Milo laughed. “Tell me about it. And is that an actual platypus? I have pajamas that look almost like you! Minus the fedora, which by the way looks really awesome!”

Perry tipped his fedora to Milo, slightly blushing from the compliment. They made platypus pajamas? He’d have to look into that. It would certainly be a nice gift idea.

Balthazar coughed to get their attention. “So we meet again, Milo Murphy. If that is your real name-”

Milo scratched the back of his neck. “Well, I was almost named Mikey at some point, but my mom didn’t want my name to sound like candy.”

“That’s not my point,” Balthazar scoffed. “Tell me the purpose of your mission, counteragent.”

“Counteragent?” Heinz cracked up. “How can this kid be an agent? He doesn’t have a hat!” Perry made a zipping motion with his fingers so Heinz didn’t reveal vital information. Were they at a different OWCA branch? He’d never seen files on them before.

Balthazar glared at him. “You don’t need a hat to be an agent!”

“But you’re wearing a hat,” Vinnie pointed out. “Even if it does attract a lot of weird stares.”

“Agent?” Milo asked. “Um, Sara and I often pretended we were time travel agents but....”

“There, you see?” Balthazar barked to Vinnie. “So he’s involved with time travel in some way! I knew it!”

Heinz reclined against the back of the couch, listening as Vinnie tried to clarify that there was a difference between pretending to be an agent and actually being an agent. “I know I could be kind of unreasonable-” Perry gave him a sideways glance. “-very unreasonable during schemes-but geez, what does this guy have against one kid? He’s crazy.”

Perry had to admit, it was pretty tempting to give Balthazar a good kick to the shin. If it was Phineas or Ferb that Balthazar had been attempting to interrogate, he would definitely not be showing so much restraint.

All talk ceased as everyone turned to stare at the odd scene at their table. Even Heinz fell silent. He really didn’t want to get involved. The parents of the boy were too busy figuring out their check that they hadn’t noticed their daughter had joined in the argument.

Milo hugged Diogee, looking slightly apprehensive at the attention. “Sara, you don’t need to get involved. It’s fine.”

Sara placed her hands on her hips, scowling. “It’s not fine! Back off my brother, you oversized leprechaun. He hasn’t done anything!”

“Balthy, I think we’d better go,” Vinnie warned.

“Not yet. All I want to know is who you’re working for,” Balthazar growled.

Milo’s eyes flickered between Sara and Balthazar. “I’m not working for anyone.”

“So a lone wolf then,” Balthazar murmured. “Very well. Dakota, we’re leaving.”

Without another word, he turned and exited the restaurant. Perry released the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. For all of Balthazar’s blunder and rashness, even he wasn’t stupid enough to push the matter further in such a crowded public area.

“Right behind you. Hey, so change of plans. Can I get that to go?” Vinnie asked a dumbfounded waiter, who had been staring awkwardly at the salmon he brought out during the exchange. As the waiter boxed the food, Vinnie shook hands with Milo. “Sorry about my partner. I’ll have to talk to him later about this.”

“I still don’t know what that was about,” Sara sighed. “We’re packing up now. See you later.”

“It was nice to meet you!” Milo said. “Bye!”

As the family passed by the front podium, the lobster tank by the entrance burst open and left a woman screaming about the water ruining her expensive shoes.

Vinnie shook hands with Heinz and Perry. “I never did give you an answer to your question, did I? I just don’t think anyone should be alone. We don’t exactly have the best living conditions, but sometimes a good thing can wander by our pistachio stand. Well, see you later!”

He politely thanked the waiter for boxing the food, then hurriedly took off after Balthazar.

Heinz signaled the waiter for a check. “He’s way too nice for his own good.”

Perry chattered in agreement. If only all partners could be as good a communicator as Heinz.

#milo murphy's law #phineas and ferb #perry the platypus #heinz doofenshmirtz #balthazar cavendish #vinnie dakota #fanfiction

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alicejean · 7 years

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DECADES OF TEENAGE LOVE

1965 - I've Just Seen a Face, The Beatles This track off of the Beatles' 1965 album "Help" is the perfect start to this playlist. Lyrically the song is everything I want to achieve with this anthology - it is about what I can't call anything other than big love - about a love which consumes, takes over and moves someone. I originally titled the playlist "I WANT ALL THE WORLD TO SEE," after the lyric in the first verse, "She's just the girl for me, and I want all the world to see we've met!" It encompasses the feeling of teenage love feeling so massive, it's the biggest thing in your life, the biggest thing you've ever experienced, and something you want to share with everyone in the world.

The title shouts this urgency from the rooftops, "I've just seen a face," the song excitedly starts, capturing the unique moment of having recently met a girl and feeling total and certain infatuation.

This track is widely known for its immensely wonderful rhyming schemes, (they don't come across particularly well in text and must be listened to). "Had it been another day I might have looked the other way and I'd have never been aware, but as it is I'll dream of her tonight." The rhymes in this song effortlessly cascade into one another. Compositionally the rhymes fit together so perfectly and leaving the listener with what I can only describe as a feeling that this is a song that was meant to be written.

Like any immense, all-consuming crush, this song has quite a wonderful power of luring you back in again and again. "and she keeps calling me back again," sighs McCartney in the main choral motif, bringing the listening back in again for another verse, another chorus. The song is a short, passionate burst of infatuation and adoration. Nothing could be more better fitting to kick off this playlist.

1978 - Teenage Kicks, The Undertones Nearly forty years on from it's release, The Undertones' single Teenage Kicks is a staple of British punk culture and an iconic anthem of adolescent love. On my quest to compile the ultimate playlist of teenage love songs, this electric, desperate, raspy track was at the top of my list.

In writing this song, John O'Neill didn't tell a story that was particularly new - the essence of punk music lies in telling the mundane tales of everyday life in a way that resonates with a subculture, which moves, mobilises and touches a generation. "Are teenage dreams, so hard to beat? Every time she walks down the street," O'Neill's opening lyrics laid over the band's ripping punk rock riffs radiate lust, desperation, energy and melancholy - the typical and vital ingredients of any teenage crush.

This song owes a lot of its fame to eighties BBC1 Radio DJ John Peel, who declared it as his favourite single ever released and gave it twenty eight stars out of five. Peel famously played it twice, back to back, on Radio 1, with no explanation but "It doesn't get better than this." Teenage Kicks is infectious and this is totally self-fulfilling. The song is about infectious love, about craving and passion, and Peel's comment on the track strikes me as so central to what The Undertones were going out to achieve.

What I find to be such an impactful aspect of Teenage Kicks is its treatment of the erotic. It's a song about sex but isn't for a second vulgar or demeaning; it is fundamentally about desire - "I wanna hold her wanna hold her tight, want teenage kicks right through the night,". O'Neill's references are almost virginal - the desire of the song isn't so much the girl in question but the feeling, he desires fulfilment, he desires sex and love but beneath that, the lyrics emit a raw and powerful desire to be wanted. "I need excitement and I need it fast," he pines, desperate for the excitement - the kicks - which make being an adolescent so infuriatingly and maddeningly wonderful.

1981 - Jessie's Girl, Rick Springfield American pop in the 80s was immense and iconic - Michael Jackson, Madonna, Prince and their contemporaries dominated the scene. With the rise of MTV, international acts such as Duran Duran and Ozzy Osbourne were bursting onto the American charts, including Australian pop star Rick Springfield. His single Jessie's Girl is a simple, eminent track packed with all the essential components I've been looking for for this playlist. It's desperate, in love, sexually frustrated and adoring. Springfield tells the age old story of falling in love with your friend's girl, yet the raw emotion is easily understood by anyone in love with a girl they can't get for any reason.

"She's watching him with those eyes, and she's loving him with that body, I just know it," Springfield bitterly admits in the bridge to the chorus, before belting forth his desire - "You know I wish that I had Jessie's girl". Like Teenage Kicks, this story isn't unique and the lyrics aren't particularly poetic - for it's the simplicity that gives the punch in this song. - "I wanna tell her that I love her but the point is probably moot," sighs Springfield, this lyric is so painfully relatable - that moment when you know you're absolutely in love with someone, mixed with the knowledge of how pitifully futile your feelings are.

My favourite lyric in this track comes at the end of the bridge, "Ain't that the way love's supposed to be?". This lyric sums up what I'm trying to achieve with this playlist. It encapsulates the timeless and endless teenage pursuit of what love's supposed to be like, what it's meant to feel like, and never really finding out.

2013 - Closer, Tegan and Sara

Tegan and Sara's Closer is a track written specifically about the madness of teenage love, and is absolutely fitting for this list. It is beautifully nuanced and to me is one of the standout singles on this playlist in terms of describing desire. "It wasn't necessarily even about hooking up or admitting your feelings," songwriter Tegan Quinn said about the track, "It was the anticipation of something maybe happening that was truly exciting and satisfying." The concept of the song is so wonderful to me - the simple excitement from just getting a little bit physically closer to the person you're mad about. "All I want to get is a little bit closer," the song starts.

I love the lyric "Here comes the rush before we touch," - celebrating not sex or even kissing but the simple, physical rush of emotion you feel before you might hold hands or even brush shoulders with the person you fancy. This song to me really exemplifies one of my favourite things about this playlist which is actually celebrating desperation. Going on a small tangent here - but I've always hated how the word needy is generally used negatively. We're all needy, being in love makes you needy and it's good! And I love that this track celebrates the joy of neediness, of knowing what you want and belting out a pop song about it.

My favourite lyric in this song - and probably my favourite Tegan and Sara lyric - comes at the end of the chorus, "I won't treat you like you're typical." I love this line for totally epitomising the moment when you know you're in love with someone but you're not together - it's the feeling of knowing how good you'd be together, and knowing that you'd never treat them as anything less than extraordinary.

2016 - Cut To The Feeling, Carly Rae Jepsen Remember way back when I was talking about I've Just Seen a Face by the Beatles, and how it's about love feeling so big? It's good to know that sixty years on, song-writers are still feeling that, and still writing about that. Cut To The Feeling is my favourite Carly Rae Jepsen song, it's so immense and shameless and happy. Musically, the beat at the start of the song is rousing and immersive, leading to a gorgeous vocal run just before chorus, and then dropping into the chrous's infectious bass line which lifts the song onto another level.

Like the song I started this playlist with, this track is about love feeling so big when you're young. "I wanna cut through the clouds, break the ceiling," Carly belts out in the chorus. To me this describes how powered up a crush can make you feel, and that classic teenage feeling that the way you feel about someone could light up whole cities. The recurring lyric, "I wanna cut to the feeling," is simple and powerful. A sort of - cut the bullshit, cut the messing around, let's fall in love.

I love how many of the lyrics in this song start with "I want," - especially every line in the chorus. I've always maintained that Rufus Wainwright's 2005 album "Want" has one of the best album titles in pop. It's exactly what the genre is about, and I love how the lyrics of Cut To The Feeling celebrate that. I really like the disjointed, abstract lyrics in the chorus, "I wanna play where you play with the angels, I wanna wake up with you all in tangles." This reminds me of the first drafts of lyrics when you write them, but in a wholly positive way. I like these lyrics feel imperfect and like they were written in a few hours, emitting a brilliant urgency and desperation.

Sonically this song probably has one of my favourite choruses of recent pop music. It's exactly the chorus you want to belt out on a dancefloor with your best friends or your crush and feel like your love is filling the whole room.

It's quite incredible how teenage love has been so powerfully and immensely documented through the power of pop. There's probably a hundred more songs I could add to this playlist, but for now I'm really happy with these five songs demonstrating how timeless, infinite and universal our feelings are, and how pop has always been the perfect vehicle with which to tell the world about them.

(link to the playlist here)

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