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#i want to be able to be seen even i dont ever decide i want that
caffeinatedopossum · 1 year
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I've always really wanted to make music (almost all of the 250 notes on my phone are lyrics I've been compiling for months and there were hundreds more on my other phones that are lost forever now) but I've been so scared and idk why. I should just do it because I think I'll regret not doing it but there's so many things I'm scared of.
I feel overwhelmed when people talk about making music and it sounds so hard and like their process is so intense and requires so much knowledge and equipment and and *insert x thing they need here* and I'm over here, recording a bit of audio on my phone and trying my best with pre-made instrument loopers on a free app. Idk, it's like somehow people convinced it can't be easy or I'm doing it wrong and I honestly still don't know if they were right or not
#im also so scared about people not liking my music#but also scared of people liking it too#its like i dont want people i know to hear it i think because their opinions matter too much to me maybe#im scared people i know will like it and actually really listen and realize im talking about myself and see me differently or smthn#its not that theyll see me differently... its that theyll see me at all#thats a terrifying thought#but sometimes i also wonder if some stranger on the internet will listen to a song- maybe just once or twice#but for a small moment theyll be there with me in a way#getting lost in what the song feels like and appreciating it#maybe it will be the shitty song someone shows their friends when they pass the aux#maybe as an artist I'll be some small treasure to a few people. something that they feel they can keep forever even tho it isnt me#idk i like those thoughts i think. i dont want to be famous or anything i just kind of want it to be recorded#i want to be able to be seen even i dont ever decide i want that#i want to make something that i love now and in 5 years listen back on and go 'wow this sucked ass lmao. good for him'#i want to know something and i dont know what it is but i feel like if i keep digging and writing and exposing myself#and thinking and trying and making things... maybe I'll be able to give form to some new concept#maybe ill put it into words- what i really want to say but dont know how to. maybe ill make something out of these abstractions and chaos#and most of all... maybe I'll actually enjoy it too
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snekdood · 11 months
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why do ppl call shark3ozero a debate bro when like. I hardly ever see him actually debate anyone..? usually he’s just talking about current events?? is talking to vaush like twice really enough for ppls black and white thinking to be triggered about ppl????
#talk to vaush once immediatly gets labeled debate bro rip#Anyone Who Has Ever Talked To Vaush Is Problematic#dawg if thats true plenty of your favorite video essayists should be labeled problematic by you lol#admit you have a bias :/#i dont even like vaush but come on.#i think hating vaush and not wanting to be like vaush is a bad starting point for what kind of politics you hold#like thats deeply stupid. like you should form your political opinions based on how you FEEL inside not based on how much you hate certain#external people. bc at some point they're gonna say something you actually agree w but you'll be so blinded by your hate of them that#you'll either choose to heavily misinterpret it or do a complete 180 and decide that belief is bad now.#'w-well i only like the people who come on who disagree with him#!!' thats not fuckin true.#1. the leftists who come on and disagree with him he's USUALLY able to find some sort of agreement with someone about whatever#unless THEY'RE specifically being stubborn and pretending they dont believe something just bc vaush said he believes it and they hate him#so much and agreeing with him would make them look weak to their chat or whatever#that yeah. so no if you've actually ever seen his discussions w ppl YOU like who he disagrees with most of the time they're agreeing about#other shit.#2. plenty of the people who come on who disagree with vaush are nazis. also. because they dont like his leftism. you sure you only#like the ppl who disagree w him?#i hate defending him so much. like theres so much i dont even like about him now but the most frustrating things is ppl making up#reasons to hate him or full on getting all their info about him from neonazis who literally have an agenda to get rid of him#and so many of yall are often useless idiots for these types of neonazsis.
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asimpforyagami · 16 days
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🇨​​ 🇴 ​​🇳 ​​🇫​​ 🇪 ​​🇸​​ 🇸 ​​🇮 ​​🇴 ​​🇳​ !
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BSD MEN REACTING TO A CONFESSION.
↷ A/N ─ yes new divider again because im indecisive as heck
★ FT. ─ dazai , chuuya , ranpo , akutagawa , atsushi , fyodor
!! TAGS ─ mentions of suicide, insecurities, overall fluff
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"i love you."
ᴅᴀᴢᴀɪ.
promptly replies with, "i love you too."
he'll lean into you with an amused smile because he lowkey thinks you're joking
when he realizes you're serious about it he'll immediately stop the stupid grin
and look at you with this sincere look you've never seen on his face before
he'll hold your hand and everything while repeating "i love you too," for a second time, only this time he's serious about it too
definitely asks for double suicide later
"You know it's my motto to unalive myself with a beautiful woman. How lucky of you to have been bestowed upon this honour."
"Mhm."
"I'll say yes if you join me in a double suicide," he asks with puppy eyes.
"Dazai, you already said yes."
"I'll say it again!"
​ᴄʜᴜᴜʏᴀ.
he stops abruptly and half chokes on his expensive ass wine
poor boy is really confused 😭 because "where did that come from??"
he tries to play it cool but he's literally SCREAMING inside
we all know he's been betrayed a lot of times in the past so he feels hesitant about it
will decide to give it a shot tho
100% calls dazai to brag about it
"You may be taller or whatever (as if that matters in the first place) but were you the one able to steal her heart? Eh? I think not!"
You chuckle hearing him update his rival of his new relationship status.
"And anyway," he raises a glass of wine for toast. "I'd like to thank my good looks, good looks and did I mention my good looks (?) for making tonight the happiest night ever."
ʀᴀɴᴘᴏ.
"i know."
he has always observed every single thing about you - how you behave around others vs how you behave around him, the little times you look at him like you want his attention etc etc
he's known about this since like soooo long
he defo also knew when where and how you were gonna confess
went to yosano for tips to react to it and bought you chocolates and stuff. he thinks it'll make you happy :D
eats all of that himself even tho he originally bought it for you but you let it slide because he's a cutie patootie
"You could at least have been a bit subtle about it," he says, munching on his chips. "I mean, anyone who saw you would've been able to guess. I didn't even need my ability for this!"
He lifts his chin up thoughtfully, fingers ripping open another packet of snacks. "You should be grateful I'm not a snitch. Eh, well," he shrugs, "You're now dating the greatest detective in the world! Congratulations!"
ᴀᴋᴜᴛᴀɢᴀᴡᴀ.
"eh???"
like chuuya, he's pretty confused too
"are you sure?"
tries to keep a straight face and hide his fluster
he'll narrow his eyes at you as if he's trying to read your emotions. he doesn't wanna get hurt if he gets too attached to you and you two end up breaking up
also how tf is he supposed to believe that someone like YOU like someone like HIM?
reassure him that he's perfect please :( poor baby deserves the world
"I am a lot of work. I don't think you can keep up with all of that," he says shortly.
"I'll try my best."
"You don't have to."
"But I want to!"
He stares at you for a few moments, looking like he's about to cry.
"Oh, alright then," he waves a hand around. "But don't you ever leave me."
ᴀᴛꜱᴜꜱʜɪ.
screams
"SAY IT AGAIN PLEASE!"
jumps around everywhere in happiness
you dont even get a verbal answer the man's just dancing around
either that or he just faints
he's, like akutagawa, insecure about himself. but he's much more open to showing his emotions to you.
you end up cuddling the whole night or he calls off work to be with you for the rest of the day <3
"I..." he repeats the same word for the fifth time in a row.
"Yes?"
"Don't mind me, I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact that I get to date you."
"Is that a bad thing?"
"No, no!" he panics, wringing both hands all over himself hastily. "I love you! Really!"
ꜰʏᴏᴅᴏʀ.
no reaction. im sorry
spares a small glance at you but otherwise doesn't get distracted from his work
you think he's gone deaf from the way he just ignored you cuz what????
will spend like 15 minutes that way before extending an arm to you and you lowkey DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO??? HELP??
he'll stare at you for a few seconds before pulling you onto his lap and continuing with his work
and that's his way of saying yes
He shuts the computers around him down and taps your outer thigh twice. You immediately stand up and help him up. He stares at you for a few seconds, contemplating something.
"You know, I never thought I'd enable others to call me a lovesick fool."
"Does that mean you are a lovesick fool?"
"A little, maybe," he turns around and walks out of the door while you follow him with a soft smile on your face.
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justaaveragereader · 6 months
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Slashtober🔪||OT8
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Pairing: OT8 x Reader
Word Count: 3.0k
Warnings: MeanDom!Ateez, Sub!Reader, Name Calling, Gang Bang, Ass Fucking, Unprotected Sex (Please Dont😀), Spanking, Spit, Tit Smacking, Breast Play, Bukkake, Dacryphilia, Oral, Cum Eating, Rough Sex, Degradation, CNC, Choking, Marking, If I Missed Anything🫣👀Lemme Know..
A/N: I can’t believe I was able to get this done before 12am😵‍💫, I tried my best to get this done before midnight, bc I wanted to make sure I posted it on Halloween. I can’t believe it’s officially over now, thank you to everyone who supported me. Rather it was with a like, reblog, a comment, an ask, anything tbh. I received so much love this October and I’m grateful and appreciate to every single one of you😭💙. Also special thanks to @seonghwasbobaeyes for betaing the first half of this fic, you are muchly appreciated babes😚! This isn’t the end of the road for Slasher!Ateez👀, we will DEFINITELY be seeing them again! I’m already thinking about what I’m going to write for November tbh..😚. My asks will be opening due to October being over, so send in your requests!
Kinktober Masterlist
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Ever since your last visit with the two masked men, you had been itching, yearning for more. They left you with an undying last in your mouth. You craved them, how sinners crave sin. They were addicting, they were like a forbidden fruit.
You hadn’t heard a peep or even seen a peep of them in weeks. You had been on the lookout constantly, trying to find any trace of them. It's like your neighbors knew you were on the fence. Making sure to greet you everyday, going out of their way to make sure you were happy. They so easily picked up your emotions. It's like you bonded with every single one of them. Wanting to get into better spirits you decided to throw a small Halloween party inviting the guys from the neighborhood as a way to say thanks for all they do, and thanks for being there for you.
You were at home prepping the food when suddenly the lights went out in your home. Letting out an annoyed huff you make your way to your circuit breaker box. Walking past your bedroom you notice a figure in your room, hiding behind the wall, you try to steady your breath clearly worked up and scared by what you saw, you quietly try to creep down the hall when your lights cut back on. Wanting to see if it was your eyes playing tricks on you, or if there was someone actually in your home you slowly make your way to the bedroom. As soon as you cut the corner to your room you see one of the masked men in your bedroom, sitting on your bed, man spreading widely. Energy as heavy as stone, he sat like he owned not only your hole, he sat like he owned you, and every move you made. Getting up slowly, he walks towards you, slow long strides.
Putting his hands up on the frame of the door. His muscular body takes up the whole door frame.
“And where are you running off to, pretty girl?”
Your eyes grow big, backing away slowly, your back bumps into a hard frame behind you. Looking up you see Mingi towering over you, staring down at your helpless frame.
“Don’t you look cute in your pajamas.” Mingi says with a large smirk on his face, running his fingers over the lace trim on the bottom of your sleep shorts. Jongho walks over to you, peeling his body off of the door frame. His large frame crushes you between him and Mingi. You can barely see his eyes through the mask, yet you can feel the intensity radiating from the person beneath it.
“Wh-what’s going on…” you whisper out through a shaky breath. Gripping your hips Mingi pulls your ass against him, grinding his hard on, onto you. Jongho moves closer, his chest completely crushing you. Gripping the front of your pajama shorts he plays with the lace on them, letting his hand slowly fall to the front of them, gradually untying the ribbon that keeps them up. Loosening the shorts, they fall dangerously low on your hips.
“What do you think is going on darling?” Seonghwa says, smooth voice floating out beneath his mask, making his way into your bedroom room. He seats himself on the bed. Man spreading his legs wide open, your eyes drift over the female plastic mask he’s wearing, down to the bricked cock beneath his skin tight pants. When Jongho squishes your body even further in between him and Mingi.
“I-I don’t kn-.” Your sentence gets cut off when the other two masked men enter, the largest one of the group takes up the whole door frame, while the shorter broader one stands in front of him. With his head cocked to the side. A shiver runs up your spine. Your brain can barely process what’s going on in front of you. All you want to do is flee but it feels like your feet are cemented to the ground.
“Look at her.” Yunho says, stepping forward into the room, clearing his large stature out of the door frame. San lets out a loud chuckle, making his way towards you.
“She looks like a deer caught in headlights.” San says through a laugh, walking on the other side of you while Yunho goes on the opposite. Caging your body in by all four men, while Seonghwa sits on the small bed watching you.
“I know you guys aren’t starting the game without us.” Wooyoung whines out, walking into the room, face paint smeared across his face yet with the lack of the red lights you can see clear as day that it’s Wooyoung. Trying to strain your neck between the men who are caging you in.
“Wooyoung, what’s going on?” You whisper shout, as if the men couldn’t hear you in the same confined room. Letting out a loud laugh, he walked over, looking at your poor helpless frame. Your body does a noticeable shiver.
“Do you want me to save you?” He says through a fake coo. Yeosang stands in the doorway, leaning his muscular form against it. Looking at you behind his mask he makes his way slowly over. Pushing through the cage the boys have you in.
“No…I think she wants all of us to help her out.” He says while he runs his gloved hand up your body. Starting from your chest, running it between your breasts, settling his covered hand around your throat. It's like deja vu, you start getting various flashbacks of each time one of these men have rearranged your guts, and practically broke your spine.
“Do you need saving darling?” Seonghwa says, standing up off the bed, making his way towards you with long slow strides, the men who caged your body slowly back away, making room for Seonghwa. His tall frame easily towers over yours. Soaking you in from head to toe.
“Of course not Seonghwa she doesn’t need saving, she needs to be fucked like the slut she is.” Hongjoong says, gripping your throat pulling your body against his invisible one. Manhandling you with ease, you swear you can see every person in the room, eyes darken instantaneously.
“Is that what it is dear? You need us to bend you over and rearrange your guts?” Seonghwa says, gripping your chin lightly while Hongjoongs hand continues to hold you tightly. Letting out a small whimper your eyes dart around to every man surrounding you in this room. Your lower belly grows hot with need. Hot with want, hot with flashbacks of every orgasm you’ve had with the individuals in this room. You open your mouth, just to close it once more, not exactly sure what words you are trying to speak. But you can tell by the way they are crowding you, and the way you are drinking them all in. You want nothing more than for them to break you.
~
Wrapping your hand around Yeosangs cock, you continue to pump his dick up and down. Fist tight to make sure he gets as much pleasure as possible. Gripping your chin in his hand, San turns your face towards him, cock deep down your throat, with his other hand on the back of your head, you gag with every powerful thrust he delivers to your throat. Eyes watering with unshed tears. San lets out a loud laugh, gripping the back of your head even tighter. Slamming his hips into your mouth..
“Look at this slut crying. Go on baby, cry on my cock.” San grits out, the pleasure that your warm mouth is giving him is becoming too much. Hongjoong lines himself up with your entrance, not even giving you time to prep, he slams his cock deep into your cunt. Body driving forward your nose bumps against Sans pelvic area. Letting out a loud sadistic laugh, he starts out at a rough pace, jack hammering your body forward. Causing a quick rhythm between him and San. Your hand starts to fall slack around Yeosangs cock. Gripping your head, Yeosang turns your face towards him.
“Do it right slut.” He grits out, squeezing your cheeks so tightly that he can feel Sans cock slide in and out of your mouth.
“Stretch her out.” Seonghwa says, the heaviest presence in the room. He stands up, hard cock in his hand, he slides under you. Your breast jiggling in his face, gripping your left breast, he runs his long cool tongue over your nipple. You squeeze your eyes shut, too immersed in the pleasure.
Mingi makes his way behind Hongjoong who is hammering away at you, collecting the drool that is hitting the floor from the way San is making you choke and gag on his cock. He wets his fingers, sliding them down to your puckered hole, you let out a moan so loud that all the boys can hear you. Sliding one finger in, your eyes grow huge, tears starting to run down your face by all the pleasure you are feeling.
Gripping your face harshly San gathers all the spit in his mouth, letting it slowly drop down to his cock, hitting your lips, it aids in the drool on the floor. Your eyes roll into the back of your head at the taste of him. You can taste him in more ways than one, and it has your head clouded with nothing but hot lust.
“Such a whore who loves to be degraded.” San grits out, watching you suck him down your throat.
“Look at her crying again.” Yeosang says while your grip tightens and untightens on his cock. Mocking you through a fake coo. Letting his hand travel down, he grips the breast Seonghwa isn’t paying attention to, squeezing your nipple, just as he’s squeezing Mingi slips his second finger in your ass trying to stretch you out as much as possible. Tears are running down your face rapidly, your pussy clenches on Hongjoong, letting out a loud groan. He slams his hips up into you once more before pulling out, chest heaving up and down. Holding his orgasm back, wanting to save it to paint your body.
Wooyoung lets out a small laugh, clearly enjoying the view of you getting rag dolled all over the place, sliding into the place of Hongjoong, he taps his cock against your wet cunt, sliding his cock in between your wet pussy lips, making sure with every thrust up he nudges your clit. Pulling back San bites his lip, gripping your head even tighter trying to fight the urge to cum all over your face, he slides back letting Yunho in. Letting out a choked cough, you intake as much air as possible. Trying to catch your breath before Yunhos large frame towers over your small body.
“Look at this slut..” he says while hooking your bottom jaw with his thumb. Jongho stands behind Yunho, getting an eye full of you, tilting his head to the side almost like he’s studying you.
“Wanting to take us all..” Jongho says, continuing Yunhos sentence.
“She wants us in every way…” Mingi finishes after Jongho speaks.
Moving on the side of your body, Mingi pulls his fingers out, feeling like you’ve been stretched enough, he lets Seonghwa know that you are prepped and ready for whatever he is ready to give you. Sliding out from under you, Wooyoung and Seonghwa trade spots. With his wet fingers Mingi slowly strokes his cock while Seonghwa slides in between your wet cunt. Making sure that he soaks his cock with your juices that are practically pouring down, he lines himself up with your puckered hole. Sliding in slowly, inch my inch. Your eyes scrunch shut, the feeling of him sliding in your ass is unlike any other feeling you’ve ever felt. You grip Yunhos thighs for stability, just as you are about to let out the loudest moan, Yunho slides his cock into your mouth, instantly stuffing it. Wooyoung lines himself up with your sopping cunt that is dripping down onto his cock, your arousal just leaking all over him. Yeosang and Jongho stand on opposite sides of you, large bodies towering over your frame. Bunching your eyes shut, Wooyoung slides easily into your pussy. Shooting your eyes open you let out a loud, muffled moan. Placing your hands out, trying your best to find your balance while Seonghwa is fucking your ass, Wooyoung is deep in your cunt, while Yunhos large cock is deep down your throat.
Gripping Yeosangs and Jonghos cock in your hand, you slowly start to pump them, making sure to pay extra attention to the head of their cocks. With each stroke the members are giving you, you are seeing heaven behind your eyes, Seonghwa continuously slaps your ass cheeks while he strokes deep in your puckered hole, watching your ass cheek welt with each deep stroke he delivers to you. Wooyoungs balls are dripping with your arousal, inner thighs shining with your juices. While Yunho grips the sides of your face, making sure you take his cock as far as your small throat will let him.
San, Mingi, and Hongjoongs degradation fill your ears. Making you on the brink of the most powerful orgasm.
“Look at this hungry cock slut.” Hongjoong says, slowly stroking his cock, watching everyone have their turn with you.
“Look at her crying over how good all of our cocks are…” Mingi grits out, grabbing his balls while he beats his cock. Making sure to collect the drool that leaves your mouth on his hands so he can stroke himself with ease.
“Nothing but a cock sleeve for all of us.” San says with his head tilted back, stroking himself, matching the rhythm at which they all are fucking you.
Mingi makes his way over to Seonghwa, watching the way his cock slides in and out of your ass. Gripping one cheek so it’s easier for Seonghwa to get a feel of your warm wet hole. He gathers the spit in his mouth letting it drop onto your puckered hole. The cool sensation differs from the warmth of Seonghwas length sliding in and out of you. Hongjoong lets out a small chuckle at the way you whine every time someone spits on you, he makes his way towards Yunho, holding the sides of your throat, giving it a slight squeeze your breathing stutters, with his hands tightening around you throat he can feel Yunho slide in and out, the feeling is delicious, the lack of oxygen heats your body up.
Wooyoung reaches up, squeezing one of your tits in his hand while he strokes his cock in and out of your warm walls. Giving your nipple a pinch, you let out a muffled whine. Reeling his hand back he slaps your tit, the sudden feeling of the impact causes your jaw to drop, eyes fluttering in immense pleasure. He lets out a high pitched laugh, slapping your other tit, you feel the skin of your breast heat up with each heavy slap. The warmth that spreads through your body, has your toes clenching, you feel your orgasm charging its way through your body. Before you can get yours, Seonghwa is going to make sure all of them get theirs.
“You know what she’s only good for..” Seonghwa spits out through clenched teeth, pulling back swiftly, Wooyoung, and Yunho pull back as well. Urging you to sit on your knees with your mouth open. The members gather around you, stroking their cocks rapidly. With a loud groan, all of them cum almost in sync. Opening your mouth last minute you have drool running down your chest, with your tongue sticking out, trying to catch as much of their cum on your tongue as you can.
“This whore is only good for catching cum.” Seonghwa pants out. As they watch their cum drip down your body, it pools right between your legs, creating a small puddle. Letting out a low growl, Seonghwa moves forward first. Gripping the back of your throat he shoves you face down into the floor.
Running his hands down your back, he hikes your hips up into the air, your sticky chest comes in contact with the floor, creating a tacky feeling on your skin.
Cock already brick hard again, he taps it against your puckered hole, slipping in with ease once again. You let out a loud cry, throat sore from all the throat fucking you still let out loud moans with each buck of Seonghwas hips. Making his way over swiftly Mingi grabs your shoulders, lifting you up so your back is flush against Seonghwas chest, he lays down cock standing straight up, maneuvering you Mingi brings you down on his cock with the aid of Seonghwa. Letting out a loud cry once more your body falls forward, becoming chest to chest with Mingi. Gripping your neck Seonghwa pulls you back up, fingers tightly wrapping around your throat, destined to leave marks.
Wooyoung and Yeosang stand on opposite sides of your body, gripping your breast, before giving your chest a firm slap. Your body jolts forward, yet with Seonghwas tight grip on your throat you go nowhere. All the other members make their way towards you with their heavy, cum dripping cocks in their hands.
“You are going to be a good girl, and take all of our cum.” Seonghwa grunts into your ear before hiking his hips forward, biting your lip, you nod your head. Chest heaving with want. Mingi lets out a deep groan..
“Fuckkkkk…she’s dripping down my cock. Are you going to make a mess on our cocks, princess?” Adjusting his hips slightly, Mingi hikes his hips up into yours. Gripping your ass cheeks so you are spread even further for Seonghwa. The members step closer to you both.
“You are going to swallow all of their cum, then you are going to take our cum in this tight ass, and wet cunt of yours.” Seonghwa says knowingly, letting out a loud whimper by the authority in Seonghwas voice you nod as much as you can with his fingers still tightly wrapped around your throat.
Giving your ass a hard slap, Mingi jiggles the cheeks of your ass.
“Alright princess, who do you want to swallow first?”
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Taglist: @araknoid @atinytinaa @k-hotchoisan @darkdayelixer @abby-grace @aurorasjoongie @tunaasan @jkookiejiminlvr @luckyblue98 @notevenheretbh1 @moonlightsora @raindropsondragons @park-simphwa @ro-written @hwajoongsang @certifiedmoa @pearltinyy @minniebinnie @solarstoy @frobin4ever @gvnwks @ethelia @jin-neck-shaft @nitarolls @jenthehobbityelf @gg-trini @tearfulsparks78 @10nantscompanion @moonm1st @oreoqueen @leehopehocarat @scuzmunkie @bangtan4everr @acetruepunk @s-unflowxr @rxnexxi @tenpesos @mixling-blog @helsnik @mrspettersen @mixtape-racha @realviviboss @mikaelless @queenoftrash97 @boomfrogg
Dividers and GIF @justaaveragereader
DO NOT REPOST.
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daddyfordaeddy · 26 days
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Pairing: mafia! Seongjoong x f! yn
Word Count: 3517
Warnings: cursing, mentions of violence, minor injuries, slight possessive/yandere joong (not super noticeable), smut warnings under cut
Genre: Fluff, smut, mafia au, exes to lovers, M for mature audiences
Summary: After leaving the mafia scene for five years, you've had to go back and beg for help from the boss of your former family...and your ex.
Smut Warnings: unprotected sex (DONT DO THIS unless you discuss safely outside of sex!), some praise, degredation, spitroasting, oral (m & f receiving), deepthroating, rough sex, creampie, fingering, felching (again), squirting, one spank, dom/sub (seongjoong dom, yn sub), undernegotiated kinks (its been a while since they fucked so things may have changed but they don't discuss. don't do this)
Written for tipsy drabbles! took me like 3 days to write the smut itself lmao
-
“So. You’ve found your way back to me, begging for me.” You keep your eyes lowered, not afraid but too ashamed to look Hongjoong in the eyes. You haven’t seen the head of the MATZ gang in a long time. Not since the last boss was alive and he was just a capo in his own right. Not since you had left him standing in the hall of his mansion, citing immaturity when it was just your fears of commitment to a mafia member. You know you broke his heart, but he stitched it back up quickly, yelling after you that if you ever came back he wouldn’t help you.
And yet, how the tables have turned.
“I had…I had nowhere else to go. Turn me away if you wish, but hear me out first. Please, Hongjoong.” You keep your gaze focused on your ratty sneakers, a far cry from the Louboutins you used to wear.
“Look at me first.” You freeze. From his tone of voice, you know he knows why you’re here. “I won’t repeat myself, YN.”
Slowly, you bring your head up, wincing at the sharp pain in your throbbing head from the sudden movement. You’re sure you look a mess, with the black eye and split lip. You keep your line of sight trained on the window next to Hongjoong instead of his face, but you can’t miss the way his eyes darken at the sight of you broken in front of him.
“What. Happened.”
His voice is cold and you flinch, hands wringing behind your back as you refuse to break down in front of your first lover (and if you stop lying to yourself, he still is in your heart). “...It was Yang Beomhun. I left you but he tracked me down and thought he could use me as leverage against you. It didn’t work, but at that point, he decided he might as well keep me around for himself and the pretence he had put up dropped. I…don’t know what else to do.”
It was a miracle you were even let back into his mansion. You thought you would have to live a life of suffering with Beomhun as your tormentor, but one of the family had somehow recognised you and let you in, citing it to be some sick joke.
And maybe it was. Who leaves the mafia out of fear for their future, only to end up being run ragged by the justice system? It’s ironic, ending right back up where you left, but once again, you have nothing left to lose.
“Why don’t you just leave him? You clearly are able to.”
You choose to ignore the jibe. “I couldn't. I’ve tried. It was a miracle I made it here, and that was with the help of someone who likely has gotten into deeper trouble.” You can feel your body shaking with the effort to keep your cool. “I don’t know what to tell you. Give me a new life, or just fucking kill me, Hongjoong. I don’t want to be caught in the middle again. I left to avoid the danger but no matter what I do, all I get is the same thing.”
Silence settles over the both of you. It’s only a moment later you realise you finally admitted the real reason you left. Your head shifts lower and you squeeze your eyes shut, both from embarrassment and trying to keep yourself on your feet.
After a long breath, you feel slender fingers on your chin that tip your face up. Blearily, you blink your eyes open to see Hongjoong staring down at you, eyes hiding any emotion. “Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice is soft, softer than you’ve heard in a long time. “I would’ve protected you, given you the safest life I could.”
“I…back then I didn’t want that, Joong. I just wanted a normal life. Not a safe one.” Your eyes are fighting to stay open.
“And now? What do you want?” You open your mouth to speak, but instead, your legs give out and Hongjoong drops to keep you from cracking your head on the wooden floor. “YN, wait–”
-
When you reawaken, you’re in an intricate bedroom you remember as the one you stayed in when you and Hongjoong were still dating. It’s changed quite a bit, his bookshelves cleared and the desk is gone, but otherwise, the drapes remain the same, and the carpet and plants as well. Your body aches but your mind is refreshed, the exhaustion from yesterday gone.
You can feel a heavy weight on the left side of the bed and your heart softens at the sight of Hongjoong sitting beside you, head in his arms as he rests his torso on the bed. As much as you hate to admit it, you missed him every moment you were gone. But you hurt him irrevocably and you know there’s not much you can do to win him back.
Your hand reaches up involuntarily, just about to brush through his platinum blond locks when his head snaps up. Your hand jerks back although his eyes are still closed. “You’re up,” he hums, eyes slowly blinking open. “The medic said you were just exhausted, but I’m glad to see you’re up.”
You stare at him, brows furrowed. “Why are you glad? I hurt you. I don’t deserve your worry.”
Hongjoong’s brow raises. “I don’t think you get to decide who I get to worry about. Yes, you hurt me. But we were young and dumb. We were hardly adults, thrust into a dangerous situation. And I would be lying to say I didn’t miss you, rosebud.”
Your face flushes at the nickname you hadn’t heard in years and Hongjoong smiles at the sight of it. He shifts over, leaning in to brush his nose against yours when the door slams open. “Boss, Seonghwa’s back.”
Your brows furrow. “Seonghwa?” The name escapes your lips before you can catch it and Hongjoong’s eyes narrow to level a sharp gaze at you.
“You met him?” His question is light but there’s danger behind it.
“Yes—He’s the one that helped me escape Beomhun. He was new on the task force, but he saw how Beomhun treated me and was the only one who cared to help me.” You speak quickly, trying to ease the tension lurking in Hongjoong’s eyes. “I swear on my life, Joong. He’s done nothing wrong except help me.”
Hongjoong stares at you for a long moment before he stands quickly, smoothing down his suit. “YN, come. Let’s see this Seonghwa for ourselves.”
Before you can even say anything, he grabs your wrist, pulling you along. You don’t know how to react, much less if you should react, and the entire way down to the basement is silent. You come to a stop behind a glass window, two-way if you remember correctly, and you stare at the slender figure sitting at the table, with sharp eyes and a split lip. “That’s him,” you breathe out.
Hongjoong hums. “Aww, he came all this way to see if you were alive? How sweet. Why don’t you go and show him how much you appreciate him? After all the work I put him to to keep you safe?” His hand pushes at your side a little and you snap your head towards him.
“Joong–” you gasp in shock and confusion.
Hongjoong turned to stare you down. “What? You think I would actually just let you go like that, five years ago? You’re mine, and you’d do well to remember that.” He chuckles low in his throat, his lips pulling into a shark’s smile. “Seonghwa here is my underboss. I trust him the most when it comes to my personal affairs, and I think he deserves a reward for the work he’s done. Come on, baby, why don’t you show him how good you can be?”
Before you can say anything else, he swings the door open and pulls you through. “Hwa, say ‘hi’ to my little rosebud. She’s here to give you a little treat for protecting her.”
He pushes you forward again and you stumble on your feet until large, warm hands land on your waist as you stop between Seonghwa’s open thighs. “Aren’t you just precious, huh,” he groans, pressing his thumbs into your hip bones. “Little missy is just too worried about me, is that right, baby?”
You cast a glance back at Hongjoong, where he’s taken a seat from across the room and is palming at the growing bulge in his pants. Without even thinking about it, your thighs squeeze together and you flush. “Joong–” Back when you were still with him, the two of you would find newcomers to fuck, some kind of sick power play Joong got off on. It’s somewhat comforting to see not much has changed in that regard…and it makes heat bloom in your core.
Seonghwa’s hand gripping your chin directs your gaze to his dark eyes. “Come on, miss, I went to all that work keeping you safe, don’t you want to show your appreciation?” He arches a perfect brow and you swear the expression on his face only serves to make your face even hotter.
“Show him how good you can be, YN,” Hongjoong commands from behind you, his voice heavy. And, well, who are you to disobey him? Immediately, you drop to your knees, your habits from years back still ingrained into your brain.
Seonghwa chuckles, his fingers combing through your hair slowly as he palms his cock straining against his leather pants. “Come on, princess. Show me how good those pretty lips are.”
You don’t need much more prompting than that, quickly reaching forward to undo his belt and slide his zipper down. With a groan, Seonghwa lifts his hips enough for you to shove his boxers down, revealing his hard cock. The tip of it is an angry red, dripping pre-come and your eyes zero in on it.
Seonghwa places his hand on the top of your head, and you don’t need much more prompting before dipping down and pressing a kiss to the tip. You can hear him sigh and it's enough to make you sink down to envelop the head of it in your mouth, letting spit pool around it. Any other day you’d be in the mood to tease, but with Hongjoong watching all you want is to be good.
“Shit, her mouth is so good,” Seonghwa groans, his thighs straining as his hands tighten in your hair. “So perfectly willing to be used.”
You feel another spike of heat in your core as you clench around nothing at his words. The way he doesn’t even direct it at you, only at Hongjoong turns you on more than you’d like to admit it would. “You can be rougher with her, she likes it,” Hongjoong’s voice cuts through the fog slowly encapsulating your mind.
Without hesitation, Seonghwa pushes your head down even further and you gag, eyes rolling back at the rough treatment. “Holy shit, she’s into it.” There’s absolute glee in Seonghwa’s voice, and his hips give an experimental thrust. You moan around his thick length, eyes squeezing shut as your spit dribbles down his length. Any shame you feel dissolves into arousal and you can’t help but wriggle your hips, trying to get any sort of friction.
“Look at you, so needy for anything.” Hongjoong’s voice is closer than you remember, and you flinch when you feel his cool hands on your shoulders. They trail down, patting your ass before reaching to cup you through your pants. “Come on, hands and knees for me, okay?”
It takes you a moment to respond, but when Hongjoong paps you on your cunt again, you scramble to present your ass to him while still keeping Seonghwa in your mouth. You can hear both of them chuckle at your eagerness. “She’s such a perfect slut, Joong,” the bite in Seonghwa’s voice makes you whine low in your throat. “So happy to just take cock and sit still, all pretty for us.”
Hongjoong hums as he pulls down your pants and underwear in one swift moment, pressing his fingers against your sopping pussy. “She’s so wet, truly the perfect whore for us,” he sighs, scissoring his fingers to stretch you out. His movements are fast, precise, and more slick gushes out of you as you keep moaning around Seonghwa’s cock.
Before you can grind against his hand, his fingers disappear just as fast as they entered you and you whine, feeling much too empty. “Eager or not, bitches should learn patience,” Hongjoong sneers and a smack resounds in the room. You register the stinging pain on your ass a second later and you moan, the sound of it muffled.
Your eyes tear up from the pain and Seonghwa coos, his long fingers brushing away the tears. You lean into the comfort subconsciously but as you do so, you can feel the blunt head of Hongjoong’s cock rubbing against your folds and the slick sounds make your brain fuzzy. The tip of it repeatedly catches on your clit and each time it sends a shock to your core.
Before you can whine any more, Hongjoong lines his cock up to your cole and pushes in without any warning. Your eyes snap open as your body is pushed forward and Seonghwa’s cock is driven deeper into your mouth. “Shit–” Seonghwa groans, his other hand coming down to grip your hair and keep your head in place.
Hongjoong giggles from behind you before drawing back and slamming back in again. The force of his thrust spears him so perfectly inside you, the girth of his cock stretching you open so well. He didn’t prep you well enough, but the sting makes you even wetter. It’s been years, and he still knows exactly what you like and it makes both your heart and your cunt throb. Seonghwa’s cock is longer, but the stretch of Hongjoong is just what you like and you clench around him.
“God, after all this time, you still are so fucking tight. Maybe I didn’t fuck you well enough before,” Hongjoong leans down to whisper in your ear, his weight pushing you impossibly further onto Seonghwa’s dick. “Maybe I’ll let Seonghwa fuck you too until your pussy is nice and sloppy for me to take any time I want. You may be mine, but Seonghwa is too and it would be cruel of me to not let my two playthings have their own fun.”
You’re a little ashamed to admit the idea of that makes you moan, and Hongjoong presses a kiss to your shoulder before biting the flesh, his hips starting to jackhammer into you, setting an unforgiving pace.
Your body goes lip, Hongjoong’s arms around your waist and Seonghwa’s hands in your hair the only thing keeping you up. You really do feel like a doll used only for their enjoyment but something about it is perfect and you keep your mouth slack as your eyes roll back in your head. Your cunt is throbbing, pulsing around Hongjoong as he hits the spongy spot inside of you with surprising accuracy. Seonghwa’s started thrusting into your mouth as well, your jaw aching but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.
You can hear them speaking to each other above you but you’re too far gone to make sense of anything they’re saying, letting your eyes flutter shut as the two men on either side pound into you. But before you can say or do anything, Seonghwa comes, ropes of his come shooting down your throat without you needing to swallow. As his orgasm washes over him, he pulls his cock out, moving one of his hands to your jaw and squeezing, keeping your mouth open and pliant. The tip of his dick rests against your lower lip as drops of come land in your mouth and dribble down your lips. When his cock softens, he tucks himself back in and leans down to spit in your mouth.
“Swallow.” His voice is rough and heavy, and you follow his command immediately. You don’t even notice Hongjoong stilled his hips until a moment later and you whine.
“So greedy,” Hongjoong scoffs, his hands gripping your waist and his nails digging into the skin. Without warning, he pulls you back down on his cock and you moan so loudly it’s bordering on a scream. “Your cunt is swallowing me so well, baby. I could do this for hours and I bet you’d just let it happen. God, I can’t believe I let you go last time, no one else could be such a perfect little cumdump for me.”
He punctuates each other with another thrust until he’s groaning as he reaches the edge of his pleasure, his come shooting deep into you and coating your walls. “God, she’s taking you so well,” Seonghwa hums, brushing your hair out of your eyes, the gentleness of his actions the complete opposite of how he was treating your mouth not a minute earlier.
Hongjoong laughs, pulling out his cock to see his come dripping out of you and making a little pool on the floor. His arms release you and you collapse onto the cool tile, your body shuddering. “She’s good, isn’t she,” he says fondly, his hands coming to pull apart your cheeks, admiring the sight of your hole fluttering around nothing. “She hadn’t even come after that. Would you like to reward this good behaviour, Hwa?” 
A chuckle leaves Seonghwa as he moves around to settle in between your legs. You’re too tired to shift to see what they’re doing and you gasp as a flat tongue presses against your dripping hole. Your back arches and Hongjoong chuckles, pressing down on your shoulders to shove you further onto the tile.
Your thighs are shaking from the effort of keeping your hips up, but Seonghwa’s grip doesn’t relent as he licks into you like a starved man, tasting both your slick and Hongjoong’s come. The way it flicks your clit and it doesn’t take long for you to come apart on the title, moans spilling out of your mouth easily as you feel a great pressure on your core and your body shakes from the effort of it. You can hear the sloppy, wet sounds of Seonghwa licking up your release and even when you try to clench around his tongue you just know with how loose you are it doesn’t change much.
“Fuck, I didn’t know she squirts,” you hear the awe in Seonghwa’s voice and Hongjoong hums, please.
“Like I said, she’s really the perfect slut.” Hongjoong pats your head, but the praise doesn’t really register, your mind is all fuzzy from the fucking you just received, and all you do is yawn. You hear soft laughter from the two of them and Hongjoong pulls you into his arms as he kisses the top of your head. “All right, I get it. You can sleep, baby. We’ll clean you up. Just relax.”
At his sweet words, you let your head drop to his shoulder as you let him manoeuvre you so he can pick you up to bring you to a bath. You’re happy to be back.
-
As Hongjoong tucks you into bed, Seonghwa leans against the doorframe, waiting for you to finally drift off. As soon as your breathing levels, Seonghwa moves to stand by Hongjoong sitting on the bed, and he speaks up. “Beomhun asked for his money.”
Hongjoong’s eyes narrowed. “He doesn’t get it. He broke the rules of the deal and laid his hands on my girl. The agreement was for him to scare her, not fucking hurt her.”
Seonghwa nods. “I know. He has been taken care of. Jongho and Yunho are happy to have been promoted, and I’m sure they’ll bring flowers to the funeral.”
Hongjoong chuckles, low in his throat to keep you from waking. “Good, good. It’ll be good to have some of our men higher in the police force too. Beomhun’s death was needed. But make sure she never finds out.” Seonghwa nods. “Can you go get a report from Yunho?”
Another nod. “I’ll see you later,” Seonghwa says, patting Hongjoong on the shoulder. “We’re still on for dinner, right?”
Hongjoong smiles. “Of course. Come here.” Seonghwa moves to stand between Hongjoong’s legs, much like how you did with him down in the basement. Without another word, Hongjoong pulls Seonghwa down to press a sweet kiss to his lips. “I’m happy to have both of you back. I’ll see you later tonight. Maybe YN will be awake for dinner as well.”
Seonghwa flushes red before kissing Hongjoong once more before slipping out the door. Hongjoong turns his attention back to you, brushing your hair out of your face.
“You’re back now, and I intend to keep it this way. No running away from me anymore,” he whispers, his fingers trailing down your face to ghost over your lips. “You’re mine, rosebud.”
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impishjesters · 6 months
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hii can you please do jax x shapeshifter reader hcs/short story (your choice)... like they dont have a "normal" form nn can turn into anything they wanted to i think thatd be cool /nf
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warning(s): Jax, mentioned using someone's fear as a prank note(s): I wasn't sure how to list the prank, it's probably considered particularly cruel given it's using Ragatha's fear of centipedes as entertainment A/N: I think having the ability to shape-shift and be friends with Jax is such a violently chaotic blend, and honestly I'm here for it. Gotta get your fun somehow.
To be honest, Jax questions whether you’re actually a human or not at first
It wouldn’t be the first time Caine decided to throw something new at them, though usually it’s a game or activity and not another…person?
Like obviously you don’t look like the wooden doll NPCs, but you can just uh, change what you wanna look like?
He’s entirely convinced you’re just some fancier NPC for a hot minute before you start to react in a very non-NPC way
Those wooden dolls don’t particularly do much, and they sure as hell can’t speak
The first thing Jax tries to do is rope you into his messing around with the others—just think of it, you can turn into whatever you want which means even more hilarious possibilities for pranking the others!
Now if you aren’t like Jax and deny helping him, he’ll still find ways to use your shape-shifting abilities to his enjoyment.
Even if it doesn’t result in a prank, it’d still be hilarious to see you shift into something that ends up scaring someone else or just overall causing chaos to whatever awful domino effect might happen (I mean look at the Kaufmo situation, shit went downhill real fast unintentionally)
He’s not going to be aggressive or forceful but he’ll still throw out that the two of you would make a great team in entertainment
And if you like causing hell then this baby is just like a kid on Christmas, as mentioned above he’ll use your ability to shape-shift into things that’ll entertain him—and well by proxy you
Like the time you guys fucked with Kinger
He had you shape-shift to look like himself and engage in a convo with Kinger, and when the convo ended he came over and started up a conversation, acting as if he hadn’t seen the old coot in a hot minute. Kinger was very very lost—Ragatha didn’t find it that funny
Nor did she find it funny the time you turned into a large centipede-like creature and scared the ever-loving shit out of her
Okay maybe you felt a tad bad, and sure it definitely had her loathing you for a bit—but she’s definitely grown more on guard with you around
Overall Jax finds it kind of interesting that unlike them, you are able to sort of pick and choose what you wanna look like. The two of you no doubt spent hours just watching you cycle through and test just what kind of stuff you could change into.
Caine still isn’t sure how that happened to be completely honest, you’re an enigma to him and he doesn’t like that
Jax won’t say it but he’s only a little weirded out when you’ve made yourself look like him, he knows what he looks like—there are reflective surfaces, but it’s just…weird
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nose-coffee · 1 year
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you know what i DO want to talk about? that scene on top of the truck where nona’s arguing w varun, and varun asks “do you love?” and nona says, “yes - no yes. i don’t know what it means. i say it, but i dont know what it means. did i ever know what it meant?” which is truly heartbreaking to hear from a character who’s spent the entire book up until now loving most everything she lays her eyes on with nearly reckless abandon.
and fifty pages later - after paul’s birth (pyrrha saying, “it’s not love, what you’re about to do. it’s a mistake.” being almost immediately replied to with, “the perfect friendship, the perfect love.”/”life is too short, and love is too long.”), and kiriona’s interrogation (”okay. different question -- do you love her?”), a near constant barrage of “what does love really mean?” and “what is love?” and “what would love make you do?” “what lengths would you go to for love?” when she’s already struggling with the idea of knowing if she’s felt love at all - she very nearly gives in to that despair, the lack of certainty that she knows what her feelings mean and that she’s allowed to feel them. she’s mourning, and she’s not able to reach pyrrha through her grief, and everyone else she’s with is more broken than she’s ever seen them before. but then paul reminds her of noodle. and nona, in a moment of lurching panic, decides to live, if only just to save noodle.
to me, that’s a devastating moment of raw, human love. it’s like that moment in alien (1979) where ripley’s about to abandon ship, and then goes back when she realises jones (the ship cat) is still on board. nona was ready to let them all die, hopless and lost and sad, every one of them-- but noodle, a sweet yet unimportant pet, is what brings her back.
and i think that’s what make’s paul’s statement of, “it’s done, it’s finished. you can’t take loved away.” hit as hard as it does. she’s just had this crisis of faith in her own personal belief system of loving-things-for-the-sake-of-loving-them, only to have it reaffirmed, and is now facing the abyss of personhood, facing returning to a self who was hurt and was deeply angry, going so far as to say, “i’ll be different...and palamedes -- i won’t love him...i won’t love anything, i won’t know how.”
paul says, “don’t worry,” (even though she just explained why she was worried), “we loved you too,” because maybe nona’s right and she won’t know how to love anymore, but she needs to know that she did. she did love, and she was loved, and there was never a doubt in anyone elses mind that she loved them fully and completely and genuinely. maybe she thought she was faking it, maybe she thought she was just making it up, but it was real, and now it’s done, and no one can take it away. no one.
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revehae · 27 days
Text
tw // noncon. yes its rape dont ask me no stupid fucking questions
yesterday (over a month ago technically) i couldn’t stop thinking about apologetic rapist haechan like ugghhhhhhhhhh
walk with me. this is a man you trust to have in your home, spending time watching movies and playing video games together in between your stressful lives… you’ve confided in each other about all of your problems, big or small, and chat about everything under the sun. you give him advice that he doesn’t listen to, then has the audacity to complain afterwards. he’s got a spare key to your place and you’ve got one to his, and all your boyfriends over the years feel like they have to compete with him, but the thought is ridiculous to you. compete with haechan romantically? it’s laughable. sure the guy has seen you half naked, but it’s not like that, you’re comfortable, you’ve never seen him ogle you or heard him make some unsolicited comment about your body that even strangers have made… why would anyone have to compete with haechan? he’s your best friend, nothing more, nothing less.
you’re not sure how you could’ve been so wrong. the way you see it, the haechan you thought you knew wouldn’t take advantage of how comfortable you feel around him, the fact that you let him share a bed with you every now and then. it’s not necessarily strange for his hands to wander around you, he’s clingy and unconsciously does it in his sleep, but it is strange for them to be so firm at your hips, nails digging into your skin, sounds that aren’t soft snores falling from his whiny lips.
confusion dwindles. betrayal stings your eyes. haechan sees it, too. he lifts his head up, tosses the hair out his face, and meets your eyes. there’s no arrogant shimmer to his eyes or smug smile to his face; the opposite. there’s shame and guilt and sadness, you want to think, and he beats you to a word, uttering, “i’m sorry…”
but he’s not sorry enough to stop. not even when you struggle against him, trying to wrestle your way out of his arms. you and haechan would play fight all the time, but you never realized just how strong he really was until you try to wrestle out of his arms and he pins your arms in place, whispering, “please. i don’t want to hurt you.”
but he would if he felt he had to. you’re in disbelief, the ugliest feeling festering inside your chest as it tightens so hard you can hardly breathe. when you beg him to stop, he says, “i can’t.” because you feel so much better than he’s ever imagined, and he’s imagined it a lot, and he just “can’t resist” himself. his eyes are misty, out of pleasure or out of shame, but either way, he needs to do this. he has to.
he can’t look you in your eyes. he can’t look at your face at all, really. he knows what he’ll see, the tears pouring from your eyes that gleam with a fierce blend of betrayal and despair and ire and disbelief. haechan doesn’t want to see you that way. having to hear your sniffles, knowing it’s all his fault, is bad enough. but in spite of the pangs of guilt that really do tear at his chest, he’s still in the middle of you, holding you in place, using your body for his own relief. so he just keeps his clasp on your hips, squeezing his eyes closed, and mutters, “i’m sorry…,” over and over and over again, hoping it’s enough. hoping that you’ll bring yourself to forgive him.
it’s not like it’s long before it’s over. haechan’s not proud of it but you’re all he’s been able to think about and it’s not like he’s ever hit a pussy raw before, if ever. you feel so filthy when he pulls out of you - his cum gushing out of your hole - and so broken. haechan says he’ll help you clean, but you’re rushing over to the bathroom and locking yourself inside before he has a chance to do anything. he hurriedly pulls on his pants and spends a long ten minutes knocking on the door, trying to get you to open it even after you scream at him to leave you alone, but he can hear the shower running from the other side. and he decides to leave you alone for now.
haechan tries to make it up to you, he really does. he doesn’t want you to hate him. you have to understand. your body was calling to him, enticing him, and he tried so hard but he couldn’t control it anymore. he’s gone when you return from a really, really long shower that you took in hopes of feeling less dirty, but to no avail. every bit of relief you feel at his absence, which isn’t much considering that pieces of him linger everywhere - on your sheets and in your aching bones and everywhere in between - fades when you hear the front door click open and he returns with your favorite takeout in hand. it’s his way of showing you that he’s still your best friend, that he still knows and loves you, that he’s sorry.
you’re not hungry. you have no appetite after that. haechan tries to get you to eat, but the second he comes near you, you flinch away from him. you never thought the day would come, but you are scared of him. he’s not the haechan you thought he was, no matter how hard he tries to convince you that he still is. you beg him to go, to leave you alone, but he doesn’t listen. he never does.
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st5rni · 4 months
Text
BACK TO YOU
matthew sturniolo fan fiction
WARNINGS : smut, angst if you squint, ex to lovers
*:・゚✧*:・゚
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*:・゚✧*:・゚
after a long night of playing board games with the triplets in their living room, everyone begins to get bored and pack it all up.
"i'll sleep on the couch," you say, not wanting to intrude on any of their rooms. it's been a while since you've seen all three of them, especially after you and matt broke up, so everything seems to be a bit hesitant.
chris puts his arm around your shoulder, "nah thats fine, sleep in the guest bedroom upstairs. we usually have madi or nate stay in there when they come over, so you can temporarily take their place." he insists, giving you his best smile despite being half asleep.
"okay, that works." you agree, standing up and yawning, "which way is it?" trying to remember which floor the guest bedroom is on.
"its the room next to mine." matt says, "you remember, right? you went in the guest bedroom once while trying to find your way to my room when we first moved here." he laughs a bit as he says this, reflecting on that time. back when you two were still together.
you stare at him for a moment before answering, "yeah, um, i remember." you say awkwardly, tucking your hair behind your hair and tying it up so your hands have something to do besides pick at your hangnails. the whole room is quiet now, the tension being very clear to all four of you.
matt fiddles with his rings, "uh, okay goodnight." he says before speed walking away to his room as quickly as he could.
"you two make things so awkward." nick says bluntly while he puts up the uno cards, "like why are you both still like this? just get back together." nick suggests with a snark, chris nodding in agreement.
you feel a blush grow on your cheeks, not sure if from embarrassment or not, "you think he'd want to? i don't know i just felt like he was over it by now. i fucked our relationship up." you admit, trying to sound casual about it, and not as desperate for him as you actually are.
"do i think?" nick laughs, "he wears the horse necklace you bought him almost everyday, even in videos. he still has photos of you two on his desk. he's more in love with you than he was before the breakup, i think." he says with a shrug, lowering his voice a bit so matt doesnt overhear
chris jumps in, "i mean.. why did you two break up, anyways? he never wanted to talk about it." his words had hesitance to them, like he was scared it'd break you if he asked.
"i broke up with him because of the distance, but now i-" you pause your words, wondering if you should tell them now, "i.. i was planning on waiting to tell you guys this but, um, im moving to LA. we have a deposit on a house and everything."
"NO WAY??" chris practically screams before running to give you a hug that even nick joins, "that's great!! why do you seem so like, upset about it?" chris questions, genuinely confused on why you didn't even smile when telling them the news.
you put your face in your hands, "it's embarrassing. i can't even tell you guys- just.. it's stupid." you try and stray away from the LA conversation, not wanting to admit you moved here primarily to try and get closer with matt again, "do you think he'd want to ever.. get back together? or, like, at least talk about it?"
"i mean, i think so?" nick says, some doubt in his words, "i dont know about getting back together, it.. hit him pretty hard." he admits, crossing his arms as he says that, knowing he shouldn't be telling you what he is.
you nod, words not able to form properly anymore, "okay.. uh, goodnight guys." you decided it was best to end the conversation here before you cried in front of them. something you'd never hear the end of. giving them a weak smile, you walk to the guest bedroom you'd be sleeping in.
while you go up there stairs, you reconsider the conversation with nick.
maybe there's just the slightest chance he would ever want you back. but honestly? it was likely the opposite. after you'd hurt him so badly, it only makes sense for him to hate you. you don't even blame him, either.
that thought hurt more than anything, and you needed an answer to whether it was true or not.
you look at the two doors in front of you, knowing one is matts room and the other is the guest bedroom. you could drop everything now, leave matt alone, and completely remove him from your life.
..but you love him too much to not have that closure. you need a final answer.
slowly, you open up his door and peak through the sliver of it, looking in his room.
there matt was.
he was on his bed, shirtless and sweating. his eyes were shut and he was practically panting as he was jerking himself into his own hand.
"fuck, fuck- fuck." you hear him muttering under his breath, and with just your luck, you lean on the door, causing it to accidentally open more than you meant to, causing him to look up and see you staring at him, "FUCK!" he yells, before covering himself with his blanket.
"SORRY— IM SORRY!" you yell back, slamming the door closed immediately after. "shit." you whisper to yourself, recollecting what just happened.
just seeing that. fuck, you had forgotten how much he turns you on.
a couple minutes pass by, matt opens the door, his face flushed and hair messy, still not entirely calmed down yet. he runs a hand through his hair and clears his throat. "um, sorry. whats up?" he tries to ignore the awkward situation lingering in both of their minds.
you clear your throat, and start fidgeting with your fingers, "can we- um, can we talk?" you ask, also still trying to recover. that was not something you'd just forget about. ever. "please?"
"what?" he stutters, "i mean, sure. yeah, come in." he clears the door so you can walk in his room, "its kind of messy, sorry."
you look around matts room, noticing how things were different, but still familiar, "you rearranged things." you state, mainly talking to yourself, still observing.
suddenly you remember what nick said, and look towards his desk and see the photos of you two framed sitting there, exactly where they had always been.
"so.." matt starts, "what'd you want to talk about?" he asks, once again fiddling with his rings.
"oh," you had almost forgot, "i just.. fuck this is gonna sound stupid. um. matt, do you— um... i should have thought about this before i came here." you blush, now embarrassing yourself.
he tries to give you a smile, but fails, "its okay. you can sit down if you want." he offers, sitting down on his bed to try and make you more comfortable towards the idea.
you look at him, and just admire him. how could someone be this sweet? "thank you." you say, accepting the offer while you sit down next to matt. probably closer than you should, "matt do you hate me?" you spit out, trying to get it out of the way.
"what?" he asks softly, almost like the question offended him. "thats a joke, y/n." he scoffs.
"im serious!" you insist, looking directly at him, "i know what i did was fucking horrible, and unfair, and selfish. and i never should have done it but—"
matt interrupts you, standing up, "Y/N what are you talking about? you broke up with me. if anyone hates anyone, its you who hates me." he thinks for a second, "i wish i hated you." he says in a quiet voice, but it had some harshness to it.
"matt, no!" you immediately refute, standing up as well, "i care about you— i promise i care. its all ive been thinking about for months. i mean, fuck, i miss you matt. im still in love with you. i never stopped."
"thats not fair and you know it, y/n." matt turns his face from you, "i have been waiting that maybe there was a chance we could ever try again and as soon as im coming to terms that it wont happen you pull this shit. im not going to do this again knowing it'll have the same result of you thriving in boston with all your friends completely forgetting about me while im here still wearing the stupid fucking necklace you got me on our first date." his voice was shaky, everything he was holding back this whole time had exploded at once.
you feel a salty tear run down your face despite your efforts to stop them, "please, just— this is different. it's different this time i promise." you beg, trying to get words out but hardly being able to, "just, hear me out and it can be your decision on what we-"
matt turns to you again, "i said no y/n." he hesitates when he sees your tears, his expression softening a bit, "you— you were right. it'll never work with you in boston."
"im moving to LA." you blurt out, and that's all you say for a second. a lot of emotions flash on matts face at those words, but you cant make out any of them. you take a deep breath, "i missed you, and boston wasnt taking me anywhere for my future. i..." you think for a moment. "i see you in my future."
matt stares at you, not reacting in any visible way at this point. you start panicking when he still doesn't say anything.
"but, if you dont want that that's okay too— ill stay away, or like— i can go back to boston, i just have a deposit on the house its no big—" your sentence gets cut off by matt walking towards you, grabbing you by the waist, and pulling you in for a kiss.
as your lips connect, he moves one hand to your face. his touch is loving, forgiving. just how you'd remembered it. you didnt kiss him back at first due to the initial shock. he pulls away, "stay." is all he and mumbles before kissing you again.
this time you immediately kiss back, wrapping your arms around his neck just like you used to. his body pressed against yours. its everything is just how it was, but somehow even better. the emotions are strong, enveloping both of you.
his lips move against yours as he moves his hands down to your hips, making your stomach tie in knots and your face warm. suddenly you're acutely aware of every action, every sensation, every thought, every feeling. its all heightened as you realize the situation you're in
the kiss comes to an end, and you stare at him, unable to suppress the smile from your face, "so.. you do still love me?"
matt cant help but laugh, causing you to join him, putting your face against his chest, "y/n, i just went on a whole rant about how i love you. then i kissed you. i think you can put two and two together."
"yeah, well... i miss hearing it." you pull your face from his chest so you can see him again, looking into his light blue eyes, then his whole face. you missed this so much.
"in that case," he kisses your head, "i love you, y/n. so much." his thumb gently caresses the areas of your cheeks that are tear-stained. "and to make it official, can i be your boyfriend again?" he asks, his voice genuine and sensitive. you know he's wanted to say that for so long, and so have you.
you bring him in for a hug this time, "i love you more, matt. and yes, you can." you say, taking in everything as you do.
you finally had matt again after all this time, and this time you weren't letting go. not again.
"matt," you softly say to get his attention, and lift your head up to kiss him again, he immediately kisses back, and picks you up as he does.
you wrap your legs around him, not removing yourself from the kiss. he sits on the bed with you in his lap.
the kiss is passionate, and slowly getting more heated as both of you are overcame with each other. you're pressing down on him, softly grinding against his crotch. it was already hard considering you interrupted him just a few minutes before. the atmosphere of the room changes, its sudden, both of you knowing where this was leading and neither wanting to change it.
he grabs your hips and pulls you down on him harder, your touch to him becoming even more intimate now. he's breath is heavy while you focus on making him feel as good as possible, missing being like this with him. missing seeing him like this.
as things were heating up, he brings the kiss a short stop, "y/n, are you sure you want to go farther with this? i was already kind of.. you know, when you came to talk to me. we just got back together, i dont want you to rush into this if you'll regret it." he checks, not wanting to ruin things because of one stupid choice.
as obvious as it was that you wanted this, it still meant a lot he had asked you. you almost forgot how caring hes always been with you, "i want you, matt. i promise. i want you in every way." as soon as you say this, as if a switch was turned on, he dips his head down and starts kissing at your exposed neck, making a small gasp escape your lips.
hes making sure he leaves marks, biting and sucking in every place, not hurting you, but instead making you more and more needy. you bring your hands up to his hair and run your fingers through it, still as soft as its always been.
"y/n, y'know what i was thinking of earlier?" he asks you as he moves his kisses up to your jaw, blissfully taking in every little noise you would make.
"n-no." you stutter out, trying to focus on his words when all your brain could linger on was the thought of him being inside of you, "tell me?"
you feel his lips curl into a smile, "i was thinking of you. of us. just being like this, your mouth on me again. me inside of you again." he mumbles, just loud enough to where you can hear it, his breath hot against you're skin.
you bite your lip softly, "i remember." your voice is soft, thinking about touching him like that again, "can i.." you trail off your words, getting off his lap to sit on your knees in front of him, and you softly touch his sweatpants waistband.
he lifts his hips up for a moment to help you pull off his pants and boxers easier as he takes off his own shirt.
you stare at his length in front of you, hard with pre cum leaking at the tip. you look up at him staring at you, waiting to see what you do next.
you move one hand to wrap around his base, he shudders at the sudden feeling despite as gentle as you were.
remembering what he likes, you rub your finger against his tip teasingly, just touching it enough to make it somewhat of a tickling, pleasurable sensation.
you look up at him, lust hazy in your eyes before looking back down and licking the tip, swirling your tongue as agonizingly slow as you could .
"fuck, y/n." he hissed, the desperation clear in his voice. he moves one hand to your hair, keeping the other still on the bed as he throws his head back.
after a bit more teasing, you finally put your whole mouth around his tip, and slowly bring your head down.
matts breaths are fast paced and rigid, keeping his hand in your hair as he tightens his grip subconsciously, his mind fuzzy from the slow pace.
you bring your head back up his length, bobbing it up and down. you use your hands to reach any place your mouth cant, swirling your tongue against his base and getting where you knew all his sensitive spots were.
he's letting out soft moans, trying to stay quiet so no one would hear him. he watches you intensely, admiring the sight, "you're so fucking pretty Y/N." he breathes out, slightly bucking his hips into your mouth, loving the feeling of you on him.
you continue like this for a little bit more, enjoying making him feel this way. not too much time passes before he gently pulls you off of him right as he's getting close, "not yet." he mutters, taking deep breaths as he comes down from a high.
you stand up and he pulls you back into his lap, but this time he grabs your waist tightly and flips your positions, pinning you down to the bed.
matt reaches for the hem of your tank top, looking at you, his eyes half lidded, wanting permission to take it off of you.
in response, you lift your back and help him pull it off you. you're about to unhook your bra as well before matt moves your hands out of the way and does it effortlessly.
"its still your favorite?" he asks, motioning towards the bra. its lacy pink one. it was really cute and surprisingly comfortable at the same time.
and you knew it always made you irresistible to matt.
"i only wear it when i see you." you admit breathlessly, before fully taking it off and throwing it off to the side, it now laying on his floor.
he lightly caresses your body, dragging his hands up from your torso to your breasts, feeling every curve you had, "just like i remember." he whispers, before leaning to shower your entire upper body in kisses. "my beautiful girl."
matt continues to kiss down until he gets to your shorts, and he softly pulls both your shorts and panties down, cherishing every bit of you being revealed.
once he takes off those last bits of your clothes, he admires you while he rubs the inside of your thigh, "i missed you, Y/N. not just like this, i missed every moment of you. so much." he says as he takes off his rings, putting them on the bedside table. "i missed being inside you, too."
your face turns red, eyes glued on his hands now, curious on his next actions, "matt-" he interrupts you by spitting on his fingers and bringing them down to rub your clit. "fuck!" you gasp, the sudden feeling shocking you.
matt continues to rub in small circles, your back arching as he does so, "have you been with anyone else?" he asks, kissing your stomach as he speaks, unable to keep himself off you.
"no." you tell him honestly through pants.
matt hums softly, and slowly brings his finger down your hole, before putting it inside you easily from how wet you were, looking at your reaction as he does so, "so tight..." he whispers. "does this hurt? when was the last time you-"
"i dont." you interrupt him, knowing what he's going to ask, "i mean i like, i do stuff.. i just— i only let you do it."
matt smiles against your chest, "ill take care of you baby." he says gently, coming up to kiss your jawline and softly biting as he does so. you feel him curl his finger inside of you, "can i add another one?"
you hesitantly nod, not able to get any words out. the first finger was just starting to feel good as he continued to move it inside of you, he brings his other hand down to rub your clit more as well, making you twitch from the overstimulation.
"use your words," he orders, his voice soft but eyes full of hunger. "i wanna hear you." he brings another finger to your entrance, teasing you by just putting the fingertip in.
you shut your eyes, "please, matt. please put another finger in." you beg, opening your legs more to urge him to do it faster.
"perfect." he says, before putting another finger in, this one more of a struggle, "is that good for you?" he asks, knowing its been a while and not wanting to rush you.
"yes. yeah, thank you. fuck." you reassure, gripping the bedsheet to steady yourself. it wasnt a lot, but it was the most you've had in a while. not to mention its matt.
he chuckles softly against your skin, and brings his head up to kiss you. he moves the hand rubbing your clitoris to grab both of your wrists and pin them above your head. there wasn't too much force, but his grip was just tight enough, "why are you thanking me? it should be the other way around."
he spreads his fingers inside of you, trying to get you ready for whats to come. after the stinging pain was gone, it felt blissful. matts always been good with his fingers, but you forgot how good.
after a while, he had added another finger, prepping and teasing you by dragging it out for as long as he could make you last.
you had begun to grind yourself down on his fingers, trying to get them to go even further inside you, "matt. please, im ready. please. i need you so badly." you plead, your legs twitching from his touch.
"alright, since you've been so patient." he complies, slowly removing his fingers from you, making you shiver from the empty feeling, and letting your wrists go. he brings himself forwards, and you subconsciously wrap your legs around his waist. "let me know when you're ready."
you exhale shakily, feeling matt rub against your entrance. whether he's just trying to get ready, or if hes purposely teasing you, it makes your stomach heat up in that familiar way.
you look at him after a moment, and see the desire as he stares back at you, "im ready." you say, bringing your hands up to wrap around his neck.
at that very same time, he slowly pushes inside you, causing you to let out a sharp gasp, "fuck..." you hiss in pain, closing your eyes.
"it's okay, im going slow. im almost fully in. just let me know when you're ready for me to move, baby." he comforts, running a hand through your hair, the other one gripping your waist.
you eventually feel him come to a stop after what feels like forever, knowing that means he's finally in, "im sorry. im almost ready, shit." you're trying to stop yourself from showing it hurts, knowing its going to feel amazing after a second. remembering how amazing he feels.
he shakes his head immediately, knowing how long it's been for you, "no, dont apologize. take your time." he inhales slowly, "y/n, you feel so fucking good already." he shuts his eyes now too, your walls tightening more around him the longer he stays still inside you.
"okay. okay." you speak up after a few silent moments, "move, please. im ready." you whimper, moving your hands to grab his shoulders, tightening your grip on him to prepare yourself.
matt nods, and slowly pulls himself back and forward again. it stings, but already hurts less than you thought it would.
"faster." you let out in a breathy sigh, looking directly at him now that you're more used comfortable towards the feeling.
"wont fight you on that one, baby." he huffs out, increasing his pace gradually so it's not too much at once for you.
now you have yourself arching your back as he thrusts into you rapidly. he's being gentle, but it's just enough so you can feel his passion. you can feel how badly he wants you.
he's letting out breathy moans, and is leaning into you while continuing at his pace, not taking even the slightest break.
your legs and hips are shaking, bucking up for as much friction as you can get during this, the pleasure building more and more.
you can hear his pants next to your ear, he leans in to kiss you despite not being properly able to. the kiss is sloppy, but heated. there's so much love behind it, and you know you can both feel it, "fuck y/n. you're so perfect, such a good girl. ive wanted this for so long baby, you have no idea." his words are broken apart as he ruts against you.
"im close." you say, his words bringing you to the brink of an orgasm, already still recovering from that high from earlier you know you wont last long, "can i cum, please?"
matt inhales sharply, bringing his hand to your neck and squeezes softly subconsciously. matt slowly nods, "yes. fuck, yes."
with matts permission, you let out a moan saying matts name, slightly hoarse from the grip he has on your neck. you feel yourself grow warmer than before as you release, biting your bottom lip, trying to keep a little bit of dignity for yourself.
"fuck." matt sighs out. "me, too. im- fuck, i have to-" he quickly pulls out and releases all over your stomach and breasts, his mouth open as whimpers fall out of it.
"fuck. sorry." he apologizes, leaning over to grab a towel.
he quickly wipes his cum off you, and throws the towel in a bin of other dirty clothes, "do you need to take a shower or anything?" he asks, clearly still out of breath.
thats an obvious no since you can hardly talk, let alone stand up for that long, "no its okay." you respond as you scoot up, patting a spot on the bed, "just stay here with me. or, i— i can leave if you want me too—" you panic, not knowing if he wanted you to leave or not. you didn't want to have the wrong idea and invade in matts privacy.
"no, y/n." he laughs softly, "stay, please. just give me one second, okay? ill be right back." matt grabs some underwear and sweatpants and throws them on before kissing your forehead and leaving the room.
a few minutes pass by, and he comes back holding a plate of some of your favorite snacks and two bottles of water. "i know its late, so you probably don't want anything to eat right now, but at least drink some water for me if you can." he hands you the water and puts the snacks down on top of the drawers next to you, "do you want some clothes to sleep in? a sweater? you're cold, arent you?"
you just stare at him admiringly for a beat, wondering how you got so lucky as to have this wonderful man back in your life, "dont stress, matt. you dont need to do all of this. can you just hand me my underwear and maybe a jacket or something?" you request, a smile on your face. you missed this feeling so much.
"yeah, totally. here," matt grabs your underwear and a random ransom hoodie he has and hands them to you. you quickly put them on, and matt crawls in bed with you, "come here." he whispers softly, wrapping his arm around you and running his fingers up and down your arm, "i missed you."
a gentle smile forms on your lips as you lean into his touch. "i missed you, too."
matts silent again, lost in thought, "why dont you just stay here? i mean, it might be too soon but— it'd save money for you and plus you'd be here most of the time anyways. plus, i could see you more."
your face is immediately covered in a blush at the implication. its a risky idea, but hes right. it'd make more sense, after all you were going to be here more than your own house anyways, "you know what? i dont think thats a bad idea. if it means i get to live like this everyday, im definitely down." you snicker while leaning more into matts chest, "but the issue is i signed to live there for at least 6 months already."
"that's okay," matt assures you. "as long as you're nearby, you know?"
you nod, leaning in to kiss him softly. his hand gives your waist a gentle squeeze before chuckling softly.
"round two?"
A/N
hope u enjoy!! part 2 is in the making
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simplydnp · 20 days
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idk why this matters to me but in the last few months they've been acknowledging so many things I never ever thought they would. pinof and the touching. the phude multiple times. dapc slime (ok they had merch to sell for that one but still)
no but actually. phil literally said 'i thought we weren't acknowledging it' about the phude and now they just bring it up all the time.
pinof reacts... i still can't believe we're in a post pinof-reacts universe. how did that happen. i was changed permanently--like something shuffled in my dna when i got the notif for pinof reacts 1. this is not a physical reaction but a chemical one that cannot be undone. for something that was so... sacred. and integral. to their existence and history. pinof wasn't generally talked about unless it was pinof time. and even then it was 'it'll be up soon' or 'we just posted it' and then Never talked about outside of that. especially not the first one! we freak out about the We Know You Know in the newsletter but it's Always been like that with pinof 1. so to see them--new (& natural 🥺) hair for them both, in a house they bought and built together, in the first few months of giving the gaming channel a second chance--reflect on how it all began? absolutely devastating. and to lean into moments and discuss them in new ways. in territory previously not breached! the 'they're toUching'?!?!? the '11 hour fuck session'!?!? the '£9000 champagne'?!?!? like hey we're not supposed to talk about that, dan and phil might see!! shhh!! but they're the ones saying it!! absolutely wild.
in a way, it had to happen. especially with where we're at now (them literally selling merch of them holding hands). in order for them to move beyond that... mindset? i guess? that a lot of fans had, they had to defang it. i really see it as one of the biggest walls they've broken down in the way they communicate with us. the 'hey. it's okay. we've seen it. it's not a big deal. we will absolutely make fun of you for it though. but we're good.'
i'm just really curious whose idea it was. (lbr it was probably phil given dans not a react kinda guy. but i'd be lying if i said i didn't want to be in the room where it happened when they talked about actually doing it or not, and what it would mean) (big ad revenue thats for sure 🤣 get it kings)
i will never be able to get phil's 'they touched' out of my head and at this point i wouldn't want to. it's absolutely earned. and i guess it makes me a masochist to enjoy the psychic damage it inflicts on me, but such is life i suppose.
the crafts mention really surprised me! i had contemplated a few different scenarios in how they'd go about it, and i'll be honest i feel like they could've committed to the bit a little more but they're forgiven. like what about glitchy interstitials! cuts to the merch website. found footage inserted between sections! i recognize they don't want to 'scare' their usual audience wirh sudden cuts to intense/graphic content but my immersionnn. absolutely shattered by 'oh we have new merch now btw'. cmon boys you love to lie to us. say theres merch up but you dont know where it came from. just that we should buy it 👀 or idk, something clever. and i recognize i may sound like a spoilt brat bc i just got a 14 minute long masterpiece of an unexpected dapc revival, but my immersion. i mean i already bought the merch before they shilled it anyways so it didn't influence me regardless 🤣
ultimately we really are in a new era. even beyond just the revival. i think they're really finding their stride--not only in their content (evidenced by a semi-regular schedule) but also creatively, in doing what they want to do, how they want to do it, and truly not giving that much of a fuck anymore. and i'm really happy for them. phil talked a bit about this in his 'rating my icons' video, where he's kind of decided he doesn't care what people on twitter think, and how it's been good for him, and i think we're seeing that reflected in not only his content, but also the gaming channel. they play what they want. they say what they want. and it's just fun. dan going on the record to say he's really enjoying it makes me so happy to hear, because literally december 2022 he believed he'd disappear after WAD. and now, instead, he gets to play games and make stupid jokes and smile and laugh multiple times a week, and he's really happy about it. he gets to be silly and goofy and crude without having to Stress about it. i keep saying it but they're so settled now. and as someone who's followed them through big changes and turbulent times, getting to see them happy after everything... it brings a lot of hope. and i know theyre millionaires. but there's something to looking at someone you fell in love with 15 years ago the same then as you do now. but instead of it being something scary, something you have to hide, something that feels like it can consume you and everything you have--it gets to be something beautiful. and regular. and embraced. you've read this far you get to listen to me wax poetic about them.
we've been thoroughly boiled and maybe, just maybe, it's warming our hearts too.
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I'm taking an evening run along the edge of a wooded area in town when I felt the hairs on the back of my neck prickle, a sludgy feeling filling my stomach when I realize I'm being watched.
When I first moved to town I was warned off them, many times newbies and visitors to town would disappear and never been seen again but I loved the smell of the trees and breeze that seemed to come from the woods themselves.
I'd never cared about the rumors until now.
A sound of a wolf howl fills the chilly night air followed by more. My heart stutters in my chest and for some dumb ass reason stop to listen. I cant hear anything. The sound of the night insects that always seemed present were gone.
Then just as I decide to nope out of my run and lock myself in my house forever I turn around and there's a thing standing in the path. I decide immediately I wouldn't move because every documentary I'd ever seen about wild animals says to stay still and not move. Maybe it couldn't see me if I didn't move? (Like it was a dinosaur or something.) Even while every cell in my body screamed at me to turn and run away, I would still stand like deer in the head lights because the thing in front of me was a monster plain and simple.
The full moon illuminates a man-- and that term is as loose as it goes. The only things that made it a man was its upright form which towered far too high stood on two thick tree truck legs (with a huge as cock jutting upright that would make any man proud) and had two arms bulging with muscles.
And that's where the differences stop.
The head more canine than manly, elongated snout snarled showing pointed saliva-dripping teeth, human-like eyes seemed to glow red in the dark as two pointed ears stood upright on its head, one seemed to twitch as if listening to the woods on our left. Its whole body is covered in tuffs of dark fur-- It could have been any shade of black, grey or brown, its to shadowy to tell for sure in the moonlight but what I can see is the shine that seems to be dripping from the wolf man's cock like a drippy faucet.
I had tried not to look at the cock once I'd noticed it but I couldn't help it as it continued to lift and drip.
A twig snapped at the edge of the woods. The wolfman turn's its head and snarls at the sound and I knew it was the only opening I would get so I turn and run.
I only get a few yards before I'm tackled from behind, falling beneath the large body at my back and face first into the loose dirt pathway. I dont scream or cry because what if it gets angry? Instead I close my eyes tight and whimper as a wet snout presses against my neck sniffing, running along my ear and throat before letting out a growl.
"P-please... D-don't eat m-me..." I plead, not able to work up anything louder than a whisper. Maybe it can understand me and would decide I'm too pathetic to eat?
The wolfman lets out another growl, this time deeper than the last before a hard bar as rubbed against my ass, rubbing between the spandex covered crack before sinking between downward to also rub against my pussy.
I gasp and cry out in shock, trying to scramble away but its claw-tipped fingers grip my shoulders and pin me in place to the dirt as he begins to hump its gigantic cock against me.
Oh god. Oh god. It wants to fuck me. The huge wolfman with the Kong sized cock is dry humping me like a horny highschooler. And for some reason I'd never been so turned on and scared at the same time in my whole life.
As the wolfman humps for a few moments, his pants and groans in my ear far more human than they should be but its wolf-like snout was a glaring reminder he wasn't human.
The wolf man let out a growl in frustration before his weight lifted off me, his clawed hands left my shoulders a moment before my leggings were ripped off of me-- grabbed in his huge, clawed hands and ripped down the back seem until my ass and sopping wet pussy lips were exposed to the night air.
"What ar--" my immediate protest was cut off as that canine nose was pressed against my pussy from behind and I left out a squeal of surprise. "Noooo... Dont." I pleaded, hopefully somewhat convincingly because no matter how hard I wanted him to stop I also didn't.
Rough hands spread my legs wider as his snout burrows in the crevice between my thighs and a rough tongue licks me from clit to asshole several times before the wolfman lets out a satisfied groan and starts to tongue fuck me vigorously.
I cant do anything besides mewl and moan beneath the ministrations of his tongue. I'd never been eaten like this. All my past boyfriends did it as little as possible, a few tongue flicks against my clit before just shoving their cocks in. Meanwhile, this wolfman beast thing is eating my pussy like its the tastiest treat he's ever had.
And I shouldn't want more but I do... I so fucking do and I'm so glad he decided to eat me even though I had begged him not to.
My orgasm slams through me and I scream into the night air, it wasn't until wolfman used his massive hands to pull my ass higher into the air and felt the blunt probing against my pussy that I began to protest again, "No wai--" but before I could finish the words he thrust forward. "Fuck!" I screamed as he split my pussy wide over his massive cock, stretching me wider than I'd ever been before and it fucking hurt.
I hung my head in defeat and cried, tears falling from my eyes and into the dirt beneath me. It wasn't until wolfman nuzzled his face against my throat and let out a small rumbly purr that I realize he had stopped his forward invasion of my pussy and was actually trying to soothe me.
A few moments I panted beneath him on my knees and elbows with his massive cock speared however far it had managed to go into my pussy as he growl-purred and licked at my cheek and neck, his hips giving tiny thrusts like he just couldn't manage to stop some type of friction against his cock.
He seemed to know when the ripping pain turned into something else but when he did he didn't hold back anymore. His cock pulled from me slowly before slamming back in hard, over and over again rutting into me like a battering ram.
"Oh fuck yes," I cry out as he hits my g-spot just right, pushing my ass back against the wolfman trying to get him to hit it again and he does, purposefully turning his thrusts short and sharp to hit against that spot over and over again until I screaming out "Yes. Yes. Don't stop." as I cum, squirting all over his cock.
Then I feel the swelling inside me, like his cock as a lump that's getting bigger and bigger until he's locked into me, his snout no longer rubbing against my neck and is now biting down at the shirt covered fabric of my shoulder, his clawed hands grabbing my breasts as he worked that knot farther and deeper into my pussy.
"Mine," he seems to growl from where his teeth are locked on my shoulder as I feel his cock jerking inside me, filling me with the hot spurts of his cum and I'm delirious with all of it. The pleasure. The pain. The fact that this somehow can't be reality as I cum a third time on a monster cock.
I dont know how long I was pinned beneath his teeth as his hard cock rocked gently into me, my knees and elbows probably permanently imbedded with gravel but I couldn't feel any pain. It was like my body was floating on cloud and everything around me was soft and muted.
When wolfman pulled his cock from my pussy, the knot finally disappearing from me completely I couldn't help but whimper at the loss as his cum spilled from me. I figured he'd leave me a ravaged pile of bones on the ground but instead he lifted me into his large furred arms and cuddled me against his chest as he headed towards the woods. "Where are we going?" I asked sleepily not really expecting a reply as I laid my head against his shoulder, my face pressed against his furred neck and it was my turn to breath in his scent. Like musky man and woods, and he was soooo warm against the cool night air.
"It's time for you to meet the pack," he said, his voice was gravely the words seemed to come from his throat versus his mouth, no doubt his snout and tongue werent made for talking but they sure were made for eating pussy.
"Mmmm, are you going to eat me too?" // fin.
(sorry for the tense changes, i can never keep them straight)
.
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taintedcries · 2 months
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✧ ҉ㅤ| mercy can you forgive me? [dazai osamu]
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Ⳋ᧙.:*♡ destroy my mind, tear my heart anew—for you occupy all the space in my mind even the darkest place, and we know this is unhealthy. continuation of this
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It's been a couple of days since you've gotten together with Dazai, you guys would usually sleep together in the same bed.
Usually because now he's been leaving the room in the middle of the night, at first you didn't have much of a problem with it, figuring he was probably going out to get water or something.
.... But, he's been doing this often. You wonder where he goes when he leaves, does he go and embrace other people in the dark of night? Far from your comfort? Did he lose interest perhaps? Maybe you've shown him too much and he decided you weren't interesting anymore..?
You don't know, but all you know is that you hate it, hate having him far away from you, hate him for daring to leave you alone in the night with no explanation.
But, what you don't know is that Dazai has been paranoid for your safety ever since you both got together, he's been having nightmares lately, of, well—you—in danger.
He's been leaving the comfort of your room to take a walk out and maybe check if there's any enemies nearby.. Or so he says but really, he just doesn't want you to see him at his lowest of low
He's glad you've been patient with him but he doesn't know how long it'll last,
Maybe one day he'll tell you why he keeps leaving in the middle of the night. He hopes you don't think it's because of you, but, well in a sense it is. It's not your fault though, it's whoever keeps giving him these nightmares fault.
Though, maybe he won't be able to tell you anymore.
⠀⠀ 𝟅𝟈 ︶︶ ⠀🪷⠀ ︶︶ 𝟅𝟈
The next couple of days were hell as he had seemed to inherit some kind of sleep paralysis and started to see things coming for you as he lay there useless, limbs frozen. In his head you have died a hundred times in a thousand different ways. As soon as his sleep paralysis dissipated, he bolted out of the bed. He decided if he has to suffer sleep paralysis he will suffer them alone, so they can’t get to you.
He woke up several mornings in a row to a sight of you on the sofa, feet hanging off the edge, blankets in disarray. His eyes flicker to your face, eyes swollen with tear marks on your cheeks. The suffocating pressure on his chest burst, he had to control the urge to just scream his lungs out. This is too much. You won’t even get in bed with him now.
Has he turned into that big of a disappointment?
“Not enough for you anymore, aren’t I?”
“What?”
He didn’t even bother to sit down, a failure of a human being like him doesn’t get luxuries like sitting down next to you.
“You don’t even come to bed anymore.” He answers bluntly.
“You don’t even stay in bed Dazai.” His lips parted for a moment, but he quickly thought of a reason.
“I always wake up earlier than you.”
You roll your eyes. His heart dropped. You had never done that to him before, he had only seen you roll your eyes at strangers. “Yes. But you don’t stay. You don’t even make me tea anymore, Dazai.”
The rest of his already brittle heart turns to dust as he hears what you have to say.
. . .
“Why don’t we just take a break from each other?” His eyes widened for a split second before he hung his head low. He clenches his fist as he shakes, he could feel tears brimming at the corner of his eye, threatening to come out.
—no, not you too.
But only silence answers.
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dont ask me what timeline this is set at, not even i know and im the writer..
anyways @popkinpop haiii pooks i finished it.. :3c (i am about to pass out any second now)
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ahopefulbromantic · 7 days
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JONATHAN SIMS?
BRILLIANT GENIUS FREAKING JONATHAN SIMS GOD BLESSED INTELLECTUAL STORIES WRITING AWE INSPIRING WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING AWESOME WISE GUY AVATAR OF THE BEST WRITING SKILLS EVER SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED WELCOMED WHEREVER HE APPEARS COOL SPACE PIRATE FREAKING JONATHAN SIMS. STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT JONATHAN SIMS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY AWESOME IDEAS WHY DID HE DECIDE TO MESS AROUND AND CREATE A MASTERPIECE JUST SET IT LOOSE IS HE ALIVE IS HE THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME MAN HAS SUCH A PROFOUND EFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS MANS FACE AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS CUTEST SMILE GET AWAY FROM ME.
if i wanted to get into heaven and God said jonathan sims not waiting inside i would fistfight every single demon for the sole purpose of getting him sent back up. if i have to deal with jonathan sims speaking one word in person on voice in podcast not only will i reopen the tab i will save all my bookmarks out of admiration and want to watch the entire series again for the experience of being able to relish in all the times he is mentioned or alive. i dont even know why i love him so much. he writes stories but i am just grateful because i am HAPPI. he better have some awesome backstory to explain this if hes just some underdog whos a fan of good storytelling and wanted the irl version ill be smitten. BETTER have had an idea make him bring a blorbo to life cuz if he didnt Im going to make him.
paypal.com/IFreakingLoveJonathanSims
episode's not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be his reading of a statement and I'm sold. where the heck is jonathan sims if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he lived a thousand more years.
beautiful man. ill kiss jonathan sims and his beautiful strong hunky cheeks will simply blush under my humble loving meat lips and he will be appreciated until all thats left is one final award he kept on him at all times simply titled You Made It Yay! in ancient yiddish. im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point. i hope theres a date given to when jonathan sims has birthday or will have birthday so i can make it a reminder on my phone, and everyday once a year i will see it and do everything to pay respect to the man who created so many brilliant if true stories
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corrodedcoffins-blog · 2 months
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Making Up
quinn hughes x nhl player!reader
warning: suggestive, mention of food (i think, i dont ever remember what i write after its done)
word count: 1.8 k
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Usually, as in every other year, Y/n looked forward to training camp; it meant a year was starting, and with that a new start. Yet all she could think about the few months was how she so desperately hoped that training camp could be farther and farther away. But this year was different. Just like last year was different. All because she slept with Quinn once, well more than once but the first time was the inciting incident. 
But before the end of last season, with their ‘break up’ if you could even call it that, given they never dated. And since then Y/n has done a large amount of self-reflection, this came about when over the summer she had a weird feeling, one she’s only had after she leaves her family for the season. She was homesick, homesick for Quinn. 
She missed him so much, missed how he would hold her at night, and leave small kisses all over her body, she missed feeling his weight on her while they cuddled. She missed him. She wanted him. 
The woman hasn’t seen Quinn for four months, and they had barely talked after their ‘break up’, avoiding all chances during their last few games, and though she couldn’t be more happy and proud of him, the man now being the captain only made everything worse. If he was anything but captain, she could get away with avoiding him a lot easier. But life has never gone easy on her.
- Just as expected, training camp went terribly. Well, that’s an exaggeration, she did great, just not well Quinn was her partner, or next to her, or in her eye sight. And realistically, she was probably the only one to notice. Except for Quinn, he always noticed. But he was also in the same situation of not playing that great when Y/n was involved. 
So after practice, on their way out, Quinn ran to catch up with the girl just as she was getting in her car, he mutters, “Meet me at my house, we have to talk.”
His deep voice, being a small shock, having not seen him coming. And feeling his warm breath on her neck, and his voice in her ears brought up memories. Ones that her body had a physical reaction to being brought up in her brain. The rosy colour rising in her cheeks, and throat becoming dry.
-
Gaining the courage to finally knock on Quinn’s door, it opens before she can finish the third knock. Quinn no doubt waited on the other side, waiting for the woman to finally knock after standing out there for far too long.
“Hey.” “Hi.”
Standing in the awkwardness for enough time, Quinn walked out of the entrance way and towards his kitchen, Y/n assumes she’s supposed to follow so she does. Walking into the familiar room, looking around and seeing no changes in the decorations, or lack thereof. Quinn then passes the girl a beer, the cap already off. Quinn knew she hated twist off because they made the palm of her hand sore, so he always did it for her. Even now. 
“We have to have it out. We have to have everything out in the open. Or we won’t be able to play together like we used to.” “I agree.”
After standing in the awkwardness once again, Quinn decided that for once he was going to be bold and say what he truly felt, and what he truly wanted, “I love you. And that’s not gonna change.” Taking a sip of her beer, feeling she’ll need it for this, the woman listened as Quinn continued, “I love everything about you. Even the things I hate, and that annoy me, I love. I love how competitive you are, not even in sports, just in everyday things; just that you can unlock the door faster than me, so if Micheal Myers was chasing us you would survive and I wouldn’t. And I love the face you have when you’re tired, but you don’t want to admit it, just for you to fall asleep ten minutes into a movie you fought me over to watch. I love that you’re adamant on only having tomatoes once in your life, when I have seen you eat spaghetti and pizza more than once before-""It’s not the same ""-I love you, Y/n. All of you.”
Tears trickled down the woman’s face, tickling as they went down her neck. Because, fuck she thinks she really loves him too. And that was still really scary to say, but she would get over it for him. Because he wouldn’t hurt her like the other guys, he cared for her, and paid attention to the little things, and god, he was perfect. She couldn’t imagine a future without him. She was always on the fence about kids, but he wanted them, she would give him them.Wiping the tears away, looking into Quinn’s eyes, ones she’s missed so dearly.
“I think I love you too.I’ve only said that to someone once before and my love was taken for granted, so it’s been hard for me to give it out. But Quinny, you’ve never given me a reason to not completely trust you, and I think that’s what I was scared of. But I love you, and I don’t think it will ever change either.”
Swiftly, Quinn brings the girl into a deep, and passionate kiss, one they put all of their love for each other into. Y/n bring her hands to the nape of Quinn’s neck, grabbing the hair in her fist, pulling slightly; eliciting a groan from the boy, while he brings his hands from her waist to her hips to her thighs, lifting her and taking her to the couch. His hands now at the hem of the woman’s shirt, beginning to lift it over her head, before Y/n interrupts and he stops instantly.
“Wait- I don’t want this to be like last time. I don’t want the miscommunication, and the friends-with-benefits thing. I want you. I want to be with you.” “Glad we’re on the same page then.” He says, leaning his head down to kiss the woman’s jaw, and down to the spot she loves on her neck. 
“Quinny. So, what does that mean for us?” Quinn, now seeing this wasn’t going fast sits next to the girl, “Y/n. Will you be my girlfriend?” “How would that affect the team, and us playing together, what will people think? I mean- they’ll blame me, ‘first girl in the league, and she goes and dates her captain’ it will look bad. And-” “Y/n, stop thinking. Do you want to be my girlfriend, ‘cause I want to be your boyfriend. A lot.” “Of course! Of course I want to. But-” “Then why are we thinking about what other people will think?”
Quinn would never truly understand. No matter how hard he tries, no man will understand. What people will say. How they’ll think of every reason to hate her and add this to the list. But never will they hate Quinn for it, no. And she knows that Quinn is trying to help, saying not to care what other people think, but it’s hard when if she looks up her own name, everything that comes up is how ‘she doesn’t deserve to be in the league’ or that ‘she doesn’t work hard enough’ even though she is the first in the gym and the last to leave, she gets to the games first, always pushing herself but it was never good enough.
“People will hate me.”
“Y/n, you are the strongest person I know, if any of the guys got the amount of hate you do, they would have quit by now. You don’t let their words make you quit, you push yourself harder. I love you. And I don’t care what those people say, they’re just sexist bastards. You deserve to be happy, and I want to make you happy. Don’t let them take that away.”
That was what she needed to hear. She still had concerns of course, but her happiness will come first and they’ll cross the bridges as they come. Because Quinn was right. Letting those people stop her from living her life, only gave them what they wanted and her nothing. At that a large grin, from ear to ear, spreads on Y/n’s face. 
“I love you.” “I love you too. How ‘bout I show you how much I love you?” “Please, Quinny.”
-
Their naked bodies were now tangled in the bed sheets, Y/n turned her head and gently placed her chin on Quinn’s bare and muscular chest. Just looking at him, his eyes staring into the ceiling gave the woman a chance to observe the changes in him, his new stubble length, and his hair styled differently. Still as handsome as ever.
“It’s rude to stare.” “You don’t know I’m staring, you can’t see me.” “There’s mirrors over there.”
Looking at where Quinn pointed with his chin, there were in fact the mirrors of his closet door that gave him a great few of her face, and their bodies intertwined. 
“Fine. You caught me.” Y/n said, bringing a mischievous smirk to Quinn’s face, his hands now moving from the woman’s back to her sides, Quinn knowing that’s where she is ticklish. The woman squirming on top of him (for the second time today) now screaming out (for the second time today)
“Ahhh! Quinny! Ah stop! Wait, I have to talk- ah! Talk to you!”
His hands stopping, and coming to rub up and down on her sides, “‘Bout what?” Y/n can hear the mild concern in his voice and not wanting to worry him says a quick ‘nothing bad’ before sitting up and continuing her sentence, “I just want to talk so we’re on the same page about.. How this will affect the team and if we’ll tell them, and you’re the captain now so you have to put the team first and I never want to put you in that situation.”
“We’re not gonna affect the team.” “You don’t know that.” “Did it before?” “...That was different. And when we ended things it did.” “Well I don’t plan on ending things. Do you?” Y/n’s hands move to the sides of Quinn’s neck, tilting his head up to look at her, “I don’t plan on ending things.” “Good.” Quinn says, a smile on his face while leaning up to press a soft kiss on Y/n’s lips, then on her jaw before falling back against his pillows.
“Do you want to tell the guys?” “Not yet.” “Then let’s not worry about it. Just see how it goes before we tell them.” “Okay.” Leaning down, Y/n rests her head on Quinn’s bare chest once again, hearing his steady heartbeat and the warmness of his chest, warming her ear.
“And don’t give me special treatment in practice.” “I would never. If anything I would push you harder ‘cause I know that’s what works for you.” “Good.”
~taglist~
@books-hlmc
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chronicbeans · 1 year
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re-sending this as it may have been buried under other asks youve gotten. if youre still doing wally x reader requests, i have an idea;
how about wally x a reader who cant stand eye contact?
wally just loves to look at you, especially your eyes. but they never seem to look back at him. poor wally must think you dont like him!
you dont like direct eye contact with anyone, but wally keeps staring directly at your eyes. youre a bit creeped out, especially after finding out just what he can do with those peepers.
OMG I LOVE THIS IDEA! Honestly same I can't stand eye contact... idk why all the characters I am simping for at the moment love it so much help.
Wally with a Reader who CANNOT STAND Eyes Contact:
TW: Forced Eye Contact, Scopophobia/Eye Imagery
👀 Wally LOVES eye contact! He sees it as a way of knowing that you are talking to him and, in turn, a way for you to know that he is talking to you! He also just thinks your eyes are really beautiful.
👀 So when you look away or seem uncomfortable, he is horribly confused! At first, he might try to force you to look him in the eyes, unaware of the fact that you hate eye contact. He thinks that something else might be the problem! Maybe you are getting distracted or something? If so, he'll make sure you stay on task, which is talking with him.
👀 After a while of you not looking into his eyes and avoiding eye contact, he decides to investigate. He has asked before, but you never answer him. So, he decides to ask his fellow neighbors about it. He is shocked when he hears that none of them have ever been able to make eye contact with you and that you have told them why! You just... cannot stand eye contact?
👀 He feels so rude! He must've been too pushy with the whole eye contact thing! Is that why you didn't want to tell him? Did you feel like you would be seen as rude? He never thought that you were rude! Oh no, he really messed up!
👀 The next day, he will be sure to make it up to you! What do you want? He can have Poppy help him bake cookies for you, if you want? He can even make a painting for you! One thing is for sure, though, he will try his best NOT to make eye contact with you! He might mess up a few times, just because he is so used to making intense eye contact with his neighbors, but believe him, he is trying!
👀 It isn't so bad once he gets used to not making eye contact with you. You are just a beautiful/handsome/adorable person in general! Every feature is wonderful! Your eyes are just one part of the bigger portrait of you! That isn't even taking into account your lovely personality! Your appearance is just the icing on top of that cake!
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seullovesme · 3 months
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» FMEO 22. - dinner date (mostly written)
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you took a deep breath to calm your nerves, shutting your phone off and laying it in your lap. you felt a hand rest on your shoulder and you turned to see your older sister smiling at you. her smile gave you a sense of comfort, she was always able to calm you down and that's what you loved about her.
"don't be nervous, you'll have a great time. come on, you know you've got this." yeji cheered you on, boosting your level of confidence. it was always nice to hear any encouragement from her and just knowing that she was there to support you made you feel better.
"thank you, unnie. i'll let you know how it goes, you'll be the first." you respond with a soft smile. "dont tell ryujin unnie, she'll throw a fit" your sister lets out a snigger because she knew that was something her girlfriend would do, despite her being the older sibling.
"alright now, stop stalling. don't make your girl wait for you." she shooed you out of her car and waved goodbye as she drove off.
you admired the exterior of the restaurant and felt suddenly intimidated by the fanciness of the place. you walked toward the restaurant, eyeing the pairs and couples that were exiting together, wondering if you and yunjin would look that happy by the time your date came to an end.
a kind gentleman held the door for you and you thanked him before walking in. you thought the outside looked fancy, but this inside was a whole other story. the glass chandelier lit the main entrance and gave a very soft and subtly vibe to the place. it was a very different experience compared to what you're used to as your not really the fancy type (but anything for yunjin).
your attention was called by a hostess. "excuse me miss, welcome in! do you have a reservation for tonight?" she asked with her hands clasped together.
"ah, yes. w-well actually i'm meeting someone here." you internally facepalmed at your embarrassing stutter even though the hostess probably didn't even notice.
"oh sure, what was the name for the reservation?"
"huh yunjin." the worker searched through the names of all the people would had made reservations.
"here, looks like they've checked in. i'll take you right to the table, right this way miss!" you followed the hostess who made her way through the tables, soon reaching a table by the window.
"alright, take a seat and we'll come back shortly." she left you standing there, and the table was occupied by a brunette girl in a blue dress. just like how it looked in her post, except she was even more beautiful in person.
for a moment it felt like the world paused as she turned at the sound of the hostess' footsteps and gave the prettiest grin you had ever seen when she saw you awkwardly standing there. yunjin cleared her throat and scratched her neck while you kept admiring her beauty.
"uh... are you planning on taking a seat?," yunjin chuckled, "i want to start our date as soon as possible!" she exclaimed, her eyes closing because of her widening smile and she was starting to resemble a cute happy puppy.
you felt your hands shaking in nervousness as you took your spot across from her. you sat quietly, just avoiding her eyes by looking at everything other than her which she noticed, but it only made her happier knowing she could take the lead now.
"don't be shy, look at me." the tone in yunjin's voice alone was enough to make you blush profusely. she was being so confident which was something you weren't, especially on dates with pretty girls. you decided to listen to her anyways, figuring that it was a date after all and you couldn't just waste your time together fangirling silently.
though she didn't show it at all, holding eye contact with you may have been the hardest thing ever because she was usually the awkward one and she was freaking out just as much as you. yunjin wanted to say something as the silence was loud, but she felt like there was no need to say anything as it was also a comforting kind of silence
"you're really pretty." the words leave your mouth before you can even process that you said it. "ah... i don't know why i said that out loud. i guess because i'm so nervous, my mind isn't working right." you explain, turning to the side to gently hit your head, hoping it would wake up and start functioning. your actions made yunjin laugh.
"thank you. you also look very pretty, if not more than me."
"impossible. you're much prettier, yunjin." her heart skipped a beat hearing you say her name. she was falling hard already and she could imagine how deep she'll be when she gets to know every detail about you.
"why are you nervous? do i make you nervous?" she asked teasingly just to see your face turn pink again.
"no! well, you do but that's beside the point. i'm actually nervous because i've been really been to such a fancy restaurant before." you admit.
yunjin's eyebrows shot up. "really?" you hum in response, studying the expressions of the girl. "so i get to be your first?" she lowers her head to hide how her face beamed after you nodded to her question.
"yep, you get to be my first fancy date!" you smile and reach for her hand that was resting on top of the table, holding in yours. "and i'm really glad that you are."
-
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SYNOPSIS ⥬ you weren't necessarily famous or anything to begin with. it was only until after the post revealing your amazing visuals that your socials seemed to grow. it certainly attracted people, maybe even a certain someone and their fanclub.
masterlist | next
(a/n - this took forever to write so thank you for those who waited so patiently <33)
(if your username is crossed out, i was unable to tag </3)
(open) TAGLIST ⥬ @idunnofr @soobhyo @kimminjswife @yerevies @awkwardtoafault @mina1vr @sewiouslyz @luvjanexx @dream-chasers-things @mightymyo @vivzyo @juhyunsthirdwife @aloneinacity @osakis-gf @lcv3lies @sam-andher-tales @kyaitosz @edamboon @noascats @baebeefyburrito @keiji-jin @justme-idle @captivq @pandafuriosa60 @koeuh @nasyu-kookies @yunalvrrr @ky-yk @dexthzone @jeindall777 @ehcyps @masuowo @bexisbomb @lyninabin @tocupid @haerinfangs @itsactuallylina @pandamiswifey @sighsam @kaypanaq @slayc9 @phantomvael @demtions @lilacura @dliaeh @honestlysana @multiliker @aeriniee @mah4u @twicesserafim @jisooftme @hwabyul4wheesun
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