#i was looking for gardening advice and got a page that said you can make morning glories with flour and water

[yardsards]

search engines should have a feature where you can like, thumbs up or down individual search results, and that moves things up or down in the results list

#eliot posts #so tired of SEO AI garbage results #i primarily use duckduckgo but google and others are just as bad #i was looking for gardening advice and got a page that said you can make morning glories with flour and water

[dreamwritesimagines]

Garden of Secrets [20] - Heliotrope

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback and support my loves, it made my whole week, you’re amazing!❤ I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think, thank you! ❤

Thanks so much to @theskytraveler​ for helping me with the chapter!

Summary: Having too many drinks can lead to honesty.

Warnings: Regency era society and social rules, some gender specific language and terms, mentions of sex, mentions of violence, slow burn.

Word Count: 4300

Series Masterlist

When you went to bed that night, right before falling asleep you decided that this whole feelings nonsense was probably like some sort of fever; you would sleep it off and it would simply go away.

Except that it didn’t.

So the next morning you just figured it would probably take a couple of days to go away, just like any flu. It surely was as annoying as the flu, but you were sure you were going to be able to think straight in a couple of days.

Any day now.

So you had thrown herself into any kind of distraction you could find, but seeing that you no longer had a garden you could work on, it wasn’t as easy. You were nearly restless, your hands itching for the garden but you managed to keep it under control, only helping Bess and your aunt with their plants instead of working on your own plants.

Desiring your husband whom you hadn’t consummated your marriage with was not something you could even get any advice on. The whole ton and everyone close to you thought you were deeply in love and thus, you liked spending time in bed together. You and Benedict were so good at pretending to be in love so it wasn’t as if you could just tell Josie without raising any questions.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you hadn’t even noticed Benedict entering the library. You were seated on the comfortable sofa by the huge window, resting the book on your legs with a warm cup of herbal tea on the coffee table by your side, the sunlight falling over you, making you feel all warm. Your head shot up when Benedict cleared his throat and your heartbeat paced up as soon as your eyes fell on his handsome figure leaning sideways to one of the bookshelves.

“I was wondering where you were,” he said and you smiled at him, then tucked your legs underneath you to make room for him on the other side of the sofa.

“Charlotte is busy with her siblings and Josie had things to do so I left there early,” you said. “You were painting when I got back, so I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“You never disturb me,” he said and motioned at the sofa. “May I?”

“Absolutely.”

He came to sit beside you, his pleasant scent tickling your nostrils and you ran your fingertip over the page of the book absentmindedly, looking at him.

“Did you finish the painting or take a break?”

“I took a break so that I could really absorb myself in self-doubt instead of trying to do that and paint at the same time,” he pointed out, making you let out a laugh.

“Ouch. One of those days?”

“Mm hm.”

“Do you want me to talk badly of your artistic idols? Because I can, very easily.”

He chuckled. “I appreciate it,” he said and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know, I guess you know, with the party tonight…”

You frowned for a moment before snapping your fingers.

“Right, the party tonight!” you said. “I forgot about that.”

“Do you still want to go?”

“Of course,” you said. “I want to see that part of the city at night but do you want to go?”

Benedict nodded. “Yeah, absolutely.”

“We can just go some other time if you want?”

“No no,” he said. “It’s not that. It’s just— you know, everyone keeps asking me why I’m applying for the academy next year instead of this year.”

You bit inside your cheek. “But you don’t want to apply this year.”

“I don’t know if I should,” he said. “I feel like I need more practice.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “You don’t owe anyone any explanation. It’s just not in your plans this year.”

“Well yes but Henry and all his friends are convinced that it makes no sense I wait for the next season when I can easily be accepted this season as well.”

You hummed. “Pin it on me.”

“Hm?”

“Tell them I’m—I’m the reason why you’re not applying this year,” you waved a hand in the air. “Marriage responsibilities, distraction, I take up all your time when you should be working on your art, your pick. Isn’t that what artists and writers do? Have bad spouses?”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

“That’s what I read,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders. “No seriously, we’re married now so we can use each other as an excuse for everything.”

He pulled his brows together. “What did you use me as an excuse for?”

“The opportunity hasn’t risen yet but I’m sure it will eventually,” you pointed out. “And when it does, I will not hesitate.”

Benedict chuckled and heaved a sigh, leaning his head back to close his eyes.

“I could say I’m too taken by newlywed bliss to pay attention to my art actually,” he murmured, and the simple term made your heart skip a beat, your dream flashing before your eyes and you cleared your throat.

“There you go.”

He opened an eye to look at you. “So I’ve been thinking.”

“About?”

“You’re free to say no if you don’t want to, but after the season is over, we could go on a trip if you’d like.”

“I thought we were going to your home in the countryside after the season was over, until the next one.”

“Our home and yes,” he pointed at you, making you repress a smile. “But this was supposed to be our honeymoon right? And we didn’t even go anywhere, so let’s do that after the season. A belated honeymoon trip.”

Your heart beat sped up. “Benedict…”

“I use the term honeymoon loosely,” he added in a haste. “I don’t expect anything of course.”

But you did.

You expected something, and you wanted it to be soon.

“Just a friendly trip,” he said and you licked your lips.

“Where?”

“Where do you want?”

You let out a laugh. “I’ve only seen two cities in my life, here and where I was born. I don’t think I can give travel suggestions.”

“There must be somewhere you want to see.”

“It was never much of a possibility for me so I didn’t really think about it,” you confessed and lifted your head. “Wait, Rome has a bunch of art right?”

“That’s one way to put it, yes.”

“Can we go to Rome?”

“Because there’s a bunch of art?” he asked with a smile and you let out a noise of agreement.

“That and other things,” you said. “It could be fun.”

Benedict’s smile widened and he nodded his head.

“As my lady wishes.”

“Good,” you said, mirroring his smile. “Rome it is.”

                                           *

As far as you could tell, tonight was going to be rather chaotic.

Apparently one of Benedict’s friends had rented a whole house just for this party -an inn, you were told- and he had also closed down the entire street for it and moved the party there. Benedict had asked you to stay close to him as soon as the carriage stopped and considering you had never been on this side of the town, you had agreed. He helped you out of the carriage, and you fixed the silky skirts of your dress before turning your head to look at the crowd, your mouth opening slightly. Everyone seemed to be having so much fun, completely drunk already, the music coming from the house reaching outside.

“Wow.”

“Mm hm.”

“What about the officers?” you asked. “I mean this is something else right? The street?”

“Well, this part of the town is barely quiet at night,” Benedict said. “And if they’re paid off well, which I’m guessing they were…”

You let out a whistle and Benedict grinned, obviously pleased with himself.

“Do you mind if I smoke?” he asked and you waved a hand in the air.

“Go ahead.”

He put a cigarette between his lips and lit it, the memory flashing through your head like a lightning, making your heart beat faster. You shifted your weight and averted your eyes, then stood on your tiptoes to see through the crowd. Some of the guests had gathered up in the middle of the cheering crowd to play a game, a tugging war if you weren’t mistaken, and a chuckle escaped from you as one group pulled the other one hard, making them fall down to the ground, all of them still laughing and yelling.

“I was never good at that game,” you muttered to Benedict and he raised his brows.

“You played it?”

“I grew up in the countryside, Benedict,” you reminded him, still grinning. “I certainly didn’t spend my time learning how to play the piano and dance.”

“I heard Daphne say you can play the piano,” he teased you, exhaling the smoke upwards so that you wouldn’t breathe it in. “And we do have a music room—”

“Do not dare,” you pointed at him, making him chuckle.

“I would be the only one to hear it.”

“Not a chance,” you said, a shiver running through you as the cold wind blew over your skin. Benedict noticed it immediately, shrugging off his jacket to drop it over your shoulders.

“Thank you,” you said, your cheeks burning and he smiled at you.

“Of course,” he said. “Want to go inside? It’s probably warmer there.”

You nodded. “Yeah. I also want that drink from the last time.”

A playful glimmer started playing in his blue eyes and he flicked at the cigarette lightly with his thumb so that the ash would fall.

“Lovesick honeymoon couple?”

“Lovesick honeymoon couple,” you said with a giggle and he put the cigarette between his lips, then threw his arm over your shoulder to pull you closer. You inhaled his pleasant scent as discreetly as you could, feeling like your whole face was on fire and you reached out to entwine your fingers with his, then you both started walking to the building, a couple of people greeting you by the door.

The music was even louder inside but it did nothing to drown out the chatter and laughter completely. A footman came to take Benedict’s jacket off of you and Benedict grabbed two glasses from the tray another footman was carrying, and handed one to you.

“There you go,” he said and you clinked it with his, then took a big sip, letting the liquid burn down your throat.

“Are you nervous about tomorrow’s dinner?” you asked and he chuckled.

“Should I be?”

“Nah, I mean…” you trailed off. “Josie does have her moments from time to time and she will certainly question you, but you should be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah because Bess likes you. Well, she likes everyone but Josie will go easy on you if Bess likes you.”

He pulled his brows together. “They’re that close?”

You tried to keep a straight face. “Uh huh. Very close.”

“I was beginning to think you two wouldn’t show up,” Sir Granville’s voice reached you and you looked over your shoulder to see him with a beautiful woman by his side.

“Sir Granville.”

He waved a hand in the air. “None of that, call me Henry,” he said. “This is Lucy, my wife. Lucy, this is Y/N, the infamous Venus Flytrap who captured our artist.”

You let out a laugh. “Quite the introduction.”

“I’m honored,” Lucy said, “I’ve heard so much about you.”

Benedict rubbed the back of his neck, shifting his weight for some reason.

“How’s the new painting going?” Henry asked Benedict who shrugged.

“There’s something missing, I can’t figure out what yet.”

Henry shook his head slightly. “Y/N, will you please tell this husband of yours that waiting for the next year to apply to Academy is nonsense?”

“Well that would be quite hypocritical of me,” you said airily before Benedict could open his mouth to argue. “Considering how hard I tried to convince him otherwise.”

Benedict’s eyes turned to you, a small smile curling his lips and Henry pulled his brows together.

“Why?”

You tipped your glass in Benedict’s direction slightly. “You didn’t tell them?”

“Tell us what?”

“Well he had mentioned the academy plan before we got engaged but when he proposed, I told him I would only marry him if he promised to spend some time with me on the first year of our marriage,” you said. “Granted I was bluffing, I was going to say yes anyway but it worked.”

Lucy let out a laugh. “Oh my goodness.”

“What, as if the academy wouldn’t take up all your time?” you asked Benedict who nodded fervently. “See? And this is my first season! I wish to enjoy it, the art world can wait until the next season.”

Henry chuckled. “Well I suppose love rules all of us.”

“Let them be,” Lucy said. “She has a point. I sometimes don’t see you for days when you are working on a piece, and they’re still on their honeymoon.”

“Well my only consolation is that artists in love give masterpieces,” Henry said dramatically and Benedict wrapped an arm around your waist to squeeze it, as if saying thank you, then nuzzled at your hair, making your heart skip a beat.

“You’re not the only one who wants to enjoy this season darling,” he said, making your eyes snap up at his and you giggled, resting a hand on his chest as you turned to Henry.

“So no, I’m not going to convince him otherwise,” you said with a smile and he held up his hands.

“I know a lost battle when I see one,” he said. “Fine. But make no mistake Ben, I will drag you out of your marriage bed next season if you don’t apply.”

“I will,” Benedict said with a chuckle as you downed your drink. “I happen to want to get into the Academy, remember?”

“Y/N, I’m just going to grab you before you become a part of this argument,” Lucy said and tugged you by the hand. “Let’s get drinks, you and I.”

Benedict looked between you. “Lucy…”

“I’m not going to steal her, don’t worry,” Lucy joked and linked her arm with yours, and you two walked away from them to the other side of the room where the drinks were being served.

“Have you ever been here before?” you asked Lucy, “This part of the town?”

“More than I could count,” she said with a wave of her hand. “I like parties, and this part of the town is quite scandalous, which means no one will bat an eye no matter what anyone does here or on the street.”

“Is that why the host shut down the whole street?”

Lucy shrugged slightly. “You’ll see once people get drunk enough,” she said and took a glass from the footman, then handed it to you. “You included.”

“Oh I’m not going to drink that much,” you said with a laugh and she tilted her head.

“This is a party,” she reminded you. “The whole point of being here is getting drunk and having fun.”

“I know, I know,” you said. “I’m just not good at letting go of control.”

“Aren’t you on your honeymoon? I’d have thought you were used to letting go of control by now.”

You choked on the drink you were sipping on and Lucy let out a laugh.

“Easy there.”

“Uh…” you cleared your throat. “Yeah but it’s—you know, that’s different.”

She shot you a mischievous look. “They expect women to be the paragon of propriety but as soon as you get married, you’re supposed to turn into an insatiable vixen behind closed doors with the snap of a finger,” she said. “Not to worry. It takes a bit of time even with the one you love, or so I’ve been told.”

“So you’ve been told?” you repeated and she winked at you.

“I was never that good at following rules, before or after marriage.”

You repressed a laugh. “You and I will get along well I think.”

“I’d hope so,” she said and her eyes stopped on someone over your shoulder, making you turn your head but as soon as you did, your heart dropped to your stomach.

Apparently Henry was pulled away by another friend of his because he was talking to another gentleman, and Benedict seemed to be in a deep conversation with a really pretty lady. The bitter taste burned your throat, making you down your drink in hopes of getting rid of it as the lady let out a laugh at something Benedict said, making him chuckle as well. She looked up at him through her lashes, admiration etched in her beautiful features and your jaw clenched as you narrowed your eyes.

Alright, you had to calm down.

There was no reason for you to feel bad. This wasn’t even a real marriage.

“He is quite popular but don’t let that make you jealous.” Lucy said and you turned to her, then let out a scoff.

“I’m not the type to get jealous,” you said, grabbing another drink from the tray before taking a big sip, shaking your head. “I’m not. I’m really not.”

“Say it one more time and I’ll believe you.”

“I’m—” you stopped yourself and took another sip, then stole a look at Benedict before forcing yourself to turn your glances to Lucy. “Uh, what’s that pretty lady’s name?”

“Lady Margery Sutton,” Lucy said. “She was widowed last year when her husband got lost in a ship accident after only three years of marriage.”

“Oh,” you said. “Sounds tragic.”

Lucy shrugged her shoulders. “I doubt she ever liked him much, certainly didn’t mourn him,” she said. “She had so many suitors but she picked Lord Sutton because he had an enormous wealth.”

“Really?”

“Mm hm,” Lucy said. “Even now she has quite a number of suitors. Breaks hearts here and there.”

“Does she now?”

“And she is a lover of art, or at least that’s what Henry claims.”

You bit down on your tongue, raising your brows. “How interesting.”

That sounded exactly like your plan before getting married, and it looked like Lady Sutton was enjoying widowhood well. If it were the start of the season, you would have actually admired her luck but now…

Now you could hardly focus on the conversation from an unreasonable anger burning through you.

“Are you alright?”

You downed your drink, then grabbed another glass again, clearing your throat.

“Yes of course,” you said. “Why would I not be alright?”

“Because you said you didn’t want to get drunk but you are drinking quite fast,” Lucy pointed out. “If this is about their conversation, I wouldn’t be worried. Benedict is completely in love with you, any idiot could see that.”

No, Benedict and you were just pretending and you had no idea why the mere presence of this Lady Sutton was enough to make you want to go over there and pull him into a kiss. You dug your fingernails into your palms and managed to give Lucy a small smile, then shrugged your shoulders.

“I’m not worried,” you said calmly, and Lucy grinned.

“Good,” she said and linked her arm with yours. “Now come with me, I have so many people to introduce you to.”

                                                 *

Alcohol had a way of relaxing you and making you all giggly even though you had been quite tense at the beginning of the night. The sunrise was merely an hour away when you decided to leave the party and unlike you, Benedict had made sure to stay sober throughout the night so that he could take you home safe and sound.

Now to think of it, he had done the same during the last party as well.

Your stomach was doing flips, no doubt the consequence of drinking too much, and you took a deep breath as the carriage stopped in front of your house, by the stone road. Benedict helped you out of the carriage and you looked around, then gasped.

“Benedict, the garden!”

He pulled his brows together. “Hm?”

“Look at the garden! Look how pretty!”

“That’s our garden dearest,” he said with a chuckle. “You see it every day.”

“No but it’s so pretty!” you said and darted to get to the garden, Benedict catching up with you quite easily to press a hand over your waist to stabilize you when you stumbled.

“Easy,” he said, smiling. “Let’s not run around while you’re drunk, hm?”

“I had like…” you tried to count in your head, narrowing your eyes. “Only a couple glasses.”

“I counted eight.”

“You counted wrong,” you said with your nose up in the air and he nodded, biting back a smile.

“Mm hm, of course.”

You looked up at him, admiring how handsome he was under the moonlight before that warmth spread through your lower stomach and you exhaled through your nose, clenching your teeth.

“Unbelievable.”

He frowned. “Hm?”

You motioned at him. “You must do something about this.”

“About what?”

“Your face!” you exclaimed. “And the—the rest of you! Do something!”

“Y/N, what—?”

“Ugh!” you stomped on your foot and wiggled out of his grip to walk away from him to get closer to one of the flower beds and sat down on the ground, your skirts fanning around you. Benedict approached you, then sat beside you.

“Why exactly are you angry at me all of a sudden?”

You pouted your lips, shrugging your shoulders.

“Why do you look so handsome all the time?” the question came out of your lips as an accusation. “What—what’s the need for that?”

He stared at you as if he wasn’t sure how to answer that.

“Uh...?”

“There’s absolutely no need for that,” you cut him off before he could say anything else and he pursed his lips together, trying to keep a straight face.

“Right. Yeah, you’re right.”

“So, you know,” you motioned at him. “Make it stop, alright?”

“I’ll try?”

“Good,” you said. “Much obliged.”

He nodded slowly, resting his fist over his mouth to hide a smile and you turned to look at the flower bed, then grabbed at his arm.

“Do you know what these are?”

“Not at all,” his voice was soft. “What are they?”

“Chrysanthemums!” you said. “They need to be given enough time and space to bloom and there are so many requirements, like you cannot keep them in too hot or too cold climates, but especially too cold. They die otherwise.”

“Really?”

“Mm hm,” you said. “And you can also eat them—well, make tea with them. It’s quite lovely, good for headaches and such.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“I did,” you said, shooting him a proud smile and reached out to touch one of the flowers. “I miss it a lot.”

“Miss what?”

“Gardening,” you murmured, “It’s quite difficult not to. I didn’t even step a foot in the greenhouse ever since I moved here.”

“Why don’t you…?” he trailed off and stole a look at the flowers before turning to you. “Why don’t you do it then?”

“Because I will start to like it.”

“Good?”

“No it’s not,” you shook your head. “Because then it would be sad when you decided to take it away from me.”

He blinked a couple of times. “What?”

You reached out to pull at a small yellow leaf, hooking your fingernail between the leaf and the stem until you nipped it and withdrew your hand to look down at it.

“Y/N I would…I would never,” he said, making you look up from the leaf.

“Hm?”

“I would never take anything away from you,” he rasped out, his eyes locked in yours and you bit inside your cheek, ripping a piece of grass off the ground.

“Maybe not at this second,” you murmured, wrapping the piece of grass around your pointer finger and he shook his head.

“Not ever. I just—” he paused for a moment. “I just want you to be happy. Is that so hard to believe?”

You shrugged your shoulders, still playing with the grass.

“Um…” you trailed off. “Sometimes.”

“Why?”

You shrugged again.

“I don’t know,” you admitted and then raised your glances to look up at him. “But if it makes you feel any better, I didn’t use to believe it at all. But it’s sometimes now.”

A gentle smile curled his lips. “Is that a good sign?”

“It’s a sign I think,” you muttered as you laid on your back to fix your gaze on the glimmering stars. “I don’t know if it’s good or bad yet.”

Benedict’s smile widened and he nodded.

“I’ll take it,” he said, still keeping his eyes on you while you pointed at the sky, closing an eye so that you could see better through the blurriness which was yet another result of you having drunk too much.

“Benedict?”

“Yes my love?”

You were way too distracted to even notice the term of endearment slipping out even if you two were alone now.

“Look, it’s Andromeda!” you said, still pointing at the sky and he looked up, then turned to you.

“You remember that?”

You pulled your brows together, following the stars with your finger.

“I always pay attention to the things you say,” you admitted, dropping your hand to hide your yawn. “Even when you don’t think I do.”

A soft light appeared in his gaze and you heaved a sigh, closing your eyes.

“I’ll just sleep for five minutes here and then we can go back inside,” you murmured, your voice already drowsy and you heard Benedict standing up, then felt yourself being lifted up into his arms.

Even if you wanted to say you could walk, you were too sleepy and his arms were way too comfortable so you buried your face into his hard chest, enjoying his pleasant scent while he carried you inside, a soft sigh leaving your lips.

Then, sleep pulled you into its cozy warmth.

Chapter 21

#benedict bridgerton #benedict bridgerton x reader #bridgerton #bridgerton x reader #regency fic

[heavyhitterheaux]

Lose You to Love Me Part 2

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

AN: continuing the roller coaster between our favorite couple

Synopsis: Jack has to deal with you calling off the wedding and finding out you're pregnant with not one, but three babies

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

Read Part 1 first

First Lady of Private Garden Masterlist

Warnings: mention of a miscarriage

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

Jack had been laying down in your shared bedroom after you had left going over different scenarios in his head.

If he would have been honest with his wife from the beginning, none of this would have happened and he had no one to blame but himself.

There was a small knock on the door and Urban stuck his head in to check on his other best friend.

"I know you aren't okay, so I'm not even going to ask." He said while coming over and sitting next to him.

"What if she divorces me?" Jack quietly asks while looking down. 

"There isn't a chance in hell she would do that no matter how upset she is at you. The two of you have gone through hell and back this year."

"But you saw the way she looked at me. All I could see was disappointment and I never want her to look at me that way again. I… just…. I'm the worst husband in the world right now."

"You are."

"Thank you for that, Urb."

"I'm your best friend and I have to be honest. All this shit could have been avoided if you had been honest and told her what was going in the first place. I remember telling you when we were 17 how much she loves you and not to do anything to fuck it up, but look how that turned out. We told you from the beginning to stay the hell away from Anitta and I remember Y/N telling you how uncomfortable she made her, but once again you ignored her. You have barely put her feelings into consideration this entire time and you could have ended this shit in May. Now when she actually did fight her, I don't even remember you asking her if she was okay. You were stuck on her breaking a promise to you and not even concerned about her well-being. Keep in mind she was there for you when you didn't have any of this and she always puts you first. You need to start putting your wife first and taking her feelings into consideration. She was right to call off the wedding until you two get on the same page. Truth be told, maybe the two of you got married too early. I know you love each other, but I need my best friends to work on their marriage. She should always be your number 1 priority and you haven't really treated her that way this year."

"I didn't even realize…"

"We all tried to tell you, but at the end of the day, you're an adult that can make his own decisions. We can't tell you what to do. But in the end, you hurt the person who would do anything for you and not give it a second thought."

"I don't even know what to do to try to get back in her good graces."

"Leave her alone and let her be. You should know that better than anyone. She'll talk to you once she's ready."

"What if…."

"No. We aren't making up and speculating things that haven't even happened. Think about it, if she honestly didn't want to be with you, she would have left a long time ago. She obviously sees something in you that makes her want to stay married to you. Just try to work on being better for her."

Jack took Urban's advice and was simply giving you your space. The both of you then decided to let social media know that the wedding would not be happening and of course his phone was blowing up non stop with people wanting answers as to what was going on.

It wasn't until he got a text from his younger brother Clay when it really hit home.

Clay- What the hell did you do to my sister?

Jack- Kept something from her since May and finally told her and she wasn't happy with me

Clay- I'm going to be honest. With as much shit she has put up from you, I'm not surprised if she was the one to call off the wedding. You have no idea what you have right in front of your face and how special she is. She will do absolutely ANYTHING for you and you still manage to fuck up which I don't understand. You brought this shit on yourself. Mom and dad aren't happy with you either. All that Anitta shit could have been dealt with early this year but you didn't shut it down. I don't know if this is related to that, but I have a feeling that it is

Jack- I get it and I'm going to try to do better by her. I already feel like shit as it is.

Clay- You should and there isn't any trying here. Just do it. Otherwise, someone else will really take your girl from you.

After Clay got finished giving his older brother a piece of his mind, he attempted to call you multiple times but you didn't answer.

But you did send him this

You- Clay, I love your brother more than life itself, but for right now I need to focus on loving myself. I am far from being okay, but I'll get there

Clay- If you need me to do anything for you, just say the word

You- I appreciate you. If I need you, I'll let you know

The incoming calls and texts to Jack's phone weren't slowing down any time soon.

Neelam- Umm….. someone want to tell me what’s going on?

2fo- You fucked up, didn't you?

Nas- I was supposed to catch the bouquet, what the hell did you do?

Quiiso- I'm thinking a milkshake probably isn't about to fix this one

Shloob- I can hide you from your wife. Just say the word, but I know your ass did something for it to be called off.

Druski- Sooooo….. I'll let Y/N know her real husband is now available. But seriously, yall good? 

Ace- Y/N isn't even answering us so what the hell?

Nic- Sleep with one eye open

Dua- I feel like I want to make a joke right now, but seriously are you two okay? 

Dani- Look, I don't know what you did because she won't tell me. However, I am always in your corner and you better fix this and fix it fast. You're my little brother and I adore you, but I have no hesitations to kick your ass when it comes to Lil bit. 

Jack didn't even bother responding to anyone because he didn't have the energy. He already knew he fucked up and didn't have to get that said to him at least fifteen more times.

He was going to continue to give you your space and do whatever he needed to do in order to prove to you that he could be the husband that you deserved.

Jack saw all of your many instagram posts with you being on tour and spending time with Dani and Nic and was proud of you for sticking to your word with wanting to focus on yourself.

He admits that he had been selfish

Because he knew any time he needed you that you would be there without a second thought but he didn't give you that said treatment in return as of lately.

He still sent you flowers before every show, but would just send simple text messages wanting to check up on you.

You were responding and he didn't want to press his luck, so he left it at that.

Jack- Missing my baby and I hope you have an amazing show tonight. I love you.

You- Miss you too and I love you right back tenfold. Thank you for the flowers.

It wasn't until the next day that it got worse just when he thought it couldn't.

He had barely woken up when he saw he had a text from you and immediately opened it.

You- Jack, I’m scared shitless. I didn’t want to do this over text but I needed to tell you this as soon as possible. I’m pregnant. WITH TRIPLETS.

Jack was simply staring at the text message over and over again not believing what he was seeing.

He didn't even respond to you and immediately called his mother.

"Jack?"

All she heard were sniffles and was immediately concerned.

"Jack, what's wrong?" Her concern was now growing by the second because of Jack not answering her.

At this point in time, Urban came to ask if Jack wanted to go out to eat and saw his best friend upset and holding the phone to his ear, but not talking which left him confused.

"She… she….there's three of them…."

Urban then took the phone and tried to ask Maggie what was going on, but she didn't have an answer for him and put her on speaker.

"Jack, what? Three of what?"

"Damn, I can’t believe this."

"Can't believe what? We can't help if you don't tell us."

"We're barely even talking and then this…."

"And then WHAT?!"

"Y/N is pregnant."

"Yes! Godfather duties in full effect! I have to facetime her. I guess it's too early for her to start showing since she's still wearing her same tour outfits."

"With triplets." Jack whispered while sitting down.

"Come again?" Urban asked while looking at him dumbfounded.

"WHAT!?" Both of them heard Maggie say through the phone and her mind was going at 100 miles per hour.

"Just hold on. Let me call her." Jack simply held his head in his hands while Urban was looking like a deer caught in headlights.

Then they both heard your voice come through the phone.

Urban made a mental note to call you after because if Jack wasn't okay, he knew you weren't either.

"Y/N, sweetheart?"

"Yes, mom?" She heard through your sniffles.

Now both of her children were crying and she was now responsible to get both of you to calm down and was praying that her words of advice would help.

"Okay, first, congratulations. I am very excited to be a grandmother."

"Got damn it, Jackman! You would have to put three in me instead of one! Overachiever ass." You said through your cries. Saying it over and over again now made it feel more real.

"Baby, please don’t yell at me right now. I can't take it. I already feel like a shitty husband and now I'm scared shitless. Now I'm responsible for my wife, three babies, and twelve pets?"

"Damn." Urban said while scratching the back of his neck.

"Okay, you two. Listen. It's going to be okay, you know that you have a tribe of people behind you to support you."

"I… just.. Jack?"

"Yes, baby?" Jack answered you with his head still in his hands.

"I can't go through another miscarriage again. My heart can't take it. It was only one last time but if I end up losing three?" Jack heard your voice crack and felt some type of way about not being able to console you in person about this.

"We're not going to think like that. You're going to carry them to term this time."

"Okay, I'm going to give you two a chance to talk, okay? Call me if you need me." Maggie said before hanging up. Jack decided that he was going to face time you because he needed to put his eyes on his wife.

"I'll call her after you do." Urban said and left out the room in order to give the two of you privacy.

You saw where Jack was trying to face time you and you immediately answered.

And his heart broke all over again.

Both of your faces were red and puffy from crying and you were steadily wiping away tears from your face.

At least you weren't shaking like you were earlier and Dani had to get you to calm down which took her close to an hour.

You were the first to speak.

"Baby, I'm so scared." You quietly said while looking down and you were surprised that he actually heard you.

"I know, I am too. But we're going to get through this. But we need to stop thinking negatively. All three are healthy and they aren't going to have any issues. Um, Y/N?"

"Oh no. You called me by my first name. You hardly ever do that."

"It's nothing bad, I just. I don't want to tell you what to do. It's just a suggestion. But I need for all four of you…. holy shit… all four of you to be safe."

"You're about to ask me to cancel my tour and come home aren't you?" You said with more tears forming in your eyes and that broke Jack's heart once again. You've worked so hard for your career to take off. It finally was and now it had to be put on hold.

You admit that you wanted kids to Jack months ago, however, the two of you were on better terms than you were now. If it had happened then, you wouldn't have given it a second thought.

"It's the safest option, stink. Having multiples is always considered a high risk pregnancy and the fact that you miscarried before? I need my wife with me so I can keep an eye on her."

You were quiet for a few seconds before nodding your head and agreeing with your husband.

"Okay. I'll let Brandi know. I should be back tomorrow."

"Okay, I love you. So so very much."

"I love you too."

"It's going to be okay."

"I hope so. I don't see how my grandmother did this. Three at one time?"

"My wife is a badass and she's going to be just fine."

Once you hung up with Jack, you took a few minutes to yourself before calling Urban. You already knew that he was worried shitless about you and had been since you originally left.

He picked up without even giving the phone a chance to ring when he saw it was you.

"What do you need me to do? Say the word."

"I just.. I need a hug from my best friend right now but I have to wait until tomorrow to get it."

"You know you never have to ask. Why can't you come back now? I don't know if I can console your husband for another 24 hours because that…. that was a lot."

"I can try and be on a flight tonight."

"Please let me know. I'll come and get you. I'll bring Jack, but I don't trust him to drive right now. I… it's going to be okay Lil Bit."

"Thank you, Urby. I love you."

"Love you too. You know this shit is forever. I..  I know that big ass fight we had might have left you thinking I didn't care about you but that couldn't be further from the truth. You know you're my girl and no matter if we have disagreements, if you call me, I'm dropping everything and I'm going to make sure you're okay. Now do what you need to do in order to get back here so we have eyes on you and I'm going to check on your husband." You couldn't help but to have a few tears slip out and quickly wiped them away.

"I'll let you know when I'll be there."

Once you hung up, you went into overdrive telling Brandi that you needed to go home to Kentucky and that the tour would be postponed. 

Dani was quietly helping you pack and eyeing you at the same time. 

You had been quiet ever since you had talked to Jack and she was worried about her younger sister.

"Y/N?"

"Hmm?" You stopped your movements to look up at her and she sat down and patted the space next to her telling you to sit. 

Once you did, she simply hugged you and the waterworks started all over again.

"I love you so much, you know that right?" Dani said and you immediately nodded while trying not to soak her shirt with your tears.

"You are going to be such an amazing mother to not one, but three beautiful babies that will think the world of you and Jack. You two are going to fix this and be on the same page."

"I hope so."

"No. No hoping. The two of you are going to put in the work to make this happen. Now, I'm going to make sure you get home okay and then you need to spend quality time with you and your husband. Shut out the world. I know you said you needed to focus on yourself, but I have a feeling that this will make the two of you a lot stronger and 2023 will be a better year."

Once the plane had landed, you looked out to see Jack and Urban waiting for you on the tarmac. It was around 1 am and you couldn't get off the plane fast enough in order to hug your husband. 

Despite everything that went down, you were still mad at him but you did miss him. 

After you descended the steps, you ran full speed and he caught you as your legs wrapped around him.

And that’s when the tears started again.

Jack was rubbing your back trying to console you as best as he could. 

"I'm happy you’re back."

"Me too." 

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, danivalentine, allthingsy/n, neelamthadhani, champagnepapi, estgee, and 3,459,182 others

y/ninsta: I didn't want to do this but this is for the best. The 777 tour is now postponed until further notice. I love all of you so so much but, taking care of myself is a priority. Hopefully it won't be long until we see each other again. 💕

jackharlow: love you 💖

y/ninsta: jackharlow love you too 😘

Comments on this post have been limited

It was around 4 in the morning and you were still wide awake. You had a feeling Jack was too since his breathing pattern hadn't changed. You were simply staring off into space and he was the first to break the silence.

"Baby, I know you aren't asleep. What's wrong besides the obvious?"

"There are literally three more heartbeats in my body besides my own. And I don't know when I'm supposed to start to show, but because there are three I can already see a difference from last week. I don't want anyone to know about this because I do not need the stress. I’ve dealt with enough for the past year to last me a lifetime and I know they’ll be able to sense it."

"I agree. We need to keep you as stress free as possible. And I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it."

"I'm still mad at you."

"I know, but we have something else to focus on now. So I guess I'll take a break too because you're my priority."

"Hmm, sure hasn't felt that way as of lately."

"And I'm going to be better about that. I got my ass handed to me by you, my parents, Urban, and Clay. I know I haven't been the best husband towards you and that needs to change. I never ever want you to feel like that ever again. You are literally the most important person in my life and I need to treat you like you are."

"It's not only you, I have things to work on as well." 

"And we'll get there but for right now we have them to focus on. Did they tell you the gender when you went to your appointment?"

"It's still too early to tell. I think I can find out in a few more weeks. Maybe we’ll give the envelope to Dani so only she knows. We can do a gender reveal party, that would be cute."

"Okay."

"Oh, babe? Can you do something for me?"

"Anything, what do you need?"

"I was supposed to go to Dua's show tonight in Atlanta and I'm not feeling up to it. Can you go for me? I don't want her to think I forgot or something."

"I'm not…"

"You can leave me for one night. Urban will stay with me and I'll call Dani."

"Okay, I'll go, but I'm coming right back."

"Okay, thank you." 

"Of course but I need you to sleep, baby."

"My mind won't slow down. I just…. I want to because I'm exhausted but…"

"Come here."

Jack moved you closer to him and now your head was laying on his chest.

"This works every time. You'll be out in ten minutes."

All Jack did was rub small circles on your back and sure enough you had fallen asleep. 

Three days later, you woke up to the news of Dua and Jack apparently dating on your timeline on instagram.

"They cannot be serious. They know I'm married to you so what the hell?"

“They just want something to talk about, so let them. Obviously they’re looking for something since we called off the wedding. Let them speculate all they want. Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“What?”

“The Harlows don’t clear up rumors. If that’s what they want to believe, let them. But I mean seriously? Why did they put you instead of me? It would have made more sense.”

“Baby, not helping.”

“Did I lie?”

“They did it because they saw us backstage together at her show and of course they took it and ran with it. Oh, and she definitely was not excited to see me and that’s what made me facetime you.”

“Oh, shit. I have an idea.”

“Oh no.”

“If they want to talk so much about things that they don’t know, let’s give them something to talk about.”

“Baby…..”

“Run with it and troll in the comments and I’m about to call Bryson.”

“WHAT???!”

“We need all of the distraction that we can get to keep them from finding out that I’m pregnant for the time being and this is the perfect distraction. There’s a movie premiere coming up and he can go with me to L.A. and then I’ll come back home. I’ll do my New Year's Eve performance with Miley and then I’m going ghost.”

“Neelam and Brandi need to know before they want to kill us.”

“Already done.” You said as you finished typing the text message. 

You were currently laying down upstairs and eating fruit that was propped up on your now protruding belly. It was a very small bump, but it was there.

You then heard Curse’s voice and her talking to Jack and Urban since the door to your bedroom was wide open. 

And she had asked for you.

“I need to talk to her, I just… this has gone on for too long.”

“Yasmin, wait!”

“Wait for what? What in the world are you two hiding and being so protective of her for? I mean you’re protective of her anyway, but now it’s like the two of you are on overdrive.”

You then sent a text to Urban to let him know to send her upstairs so that the two of you could talk. Even though the two of you had been interacting on social media, you never really talked about what happened and what had gone down between the two of you. You quickly covered your stomach with one of Jack’s New Balance sweatshirts that you were wearing as you heard her footsteps.

She made her way into the bedroom, but you knew she was hesitant.

“Come sit.” You quietly said and moved your many snacks off the bed. Jack would kill you for getting so many crumbs everywhere later, but he was just happy that you were eating healthy.

She did as she was told and it was quiet for a few minutes until she broke it.

“I’m sorry and I know that doesn’t even begin to cover it. I’m sorry it also took me this long to come and talk to you about it with just the two of us. I was just so mad and so upset and I… something similar happened in my last relationship and all I got were flashbacks. So once again, I knew deep down that you would never do that to Urban and I just feel so horrible about the whole thing. You didn’t deserve that.”

“I forgive you.”

“I… wait, what? Just like that? That was too easy. Don’t you want to scream at me?”

“Yes, like that. I’m trying this new thing where I don’t want to cause myself to be under a lot of stress and your explanation made sense. Just know that I would never ever hurt you or Urban that way.”

“There’s something different about you.”

Oh shit.

“Different how? What do you mean?”

“I literally had to fight tooth and nail to get up here to see you. I know that they are both very protective of you but what I just saw was on another level.”

“Hmm.” You said while taking a drink of your sparkling water. 

“Y/N….. are you pregnant? That would be the only thing that would make sense. You canceled your tour, you’re back home, and….”

All you did was simply lift up your sweatshirt to show her.

“OH MY FUCKING SHIT I WAS RIGHT!”

“But it’s not just one.”

“Come again?”

“There’s three.”

“Holy shit. Did Jack faint when you told him?”

“I was scared shitless so he found out through a text message because I was still mad at him about something, but Urban told me he thought he was going to. Thank goodness he was there with him.”

“And that was all natural? Like no IVF?”

“No, besides my mom is a triplet. She flipped her shit too when I told her.”

“Wow, you lost one, but gained three. That’s a blessing.”

“It is, even though I didn’t see it that way before when I first found out.”

“Well, I’ll be here to help you every step of the way too.”

“And I appreciate you. I already have to deal with two grown babies downstairs and now I’m going to have three more?”

“Ehh, they’re going to have to learn how to fend for themselves from now on.”

“Yasmin, we can’t be talking about those two idiots downstairs because that will never be a reality.”

“WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL US?”

“STOP FUCKING EAVESDROPPING URBAN HENRY!”

“I HAD TO MAKE SURE MY GIRLS WERE OKAY!”

“WE’RE FINE, NOW ORDER US PIZZA.”

“BABY, NO! TOO GREASY!”

“JACKMAN! BABY NUMBER TWO WANTS IT SO GET IT!”

“FINE!”

“That man can never tell you no.”

“Mm hmm and just wait if we have girls, it’s going to be ten times worse. Especially if they look like me.”

After you had spent the day with Yasmin, she took it upon herself to make you a care package with all your favorite foods (that you could still have) with the help of Urban. She also added bath bombs, candles, a few pregnancy books, and even three matching onesies.

Not wanting to take a bath by yourself, you dragged your husband into the bathroom with you so you could put one of the bath bombs to good use. You were currently laying on his chest when he got an alert saying that someone was outside the house at the front door.

You knew it wasn’t Urban seeing as he went out with Yasmin, so you were confused as to who it could be.

And then you heard her voice through the speaker. 

"Jack open the fucking door and let me see my baby cousin since neither of you are answering your phones. If not, I will find a way inside." 

“Is that? Is that Nicole?!”

“She doesn’t know, does she?” Jack asked and you looked up at him to shake your head no.

“Baby, out of all people you should have told her because you know she constantly wants to terrorize me on a daily basis. And the fact that she hasn’t seen you? She’s going to think I kidnapped you.”

Before you could respond to him, you heard her voice once again.

“Fine. That’s it. Since nobody's answering me, I’m bringing in back up. Private Garden is now on their way too because they’re concerned about the two of you.”

“Oh, shit.”

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#jack harlow #jack harlow fic #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow angst #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow x you #first lady of pg

[anipgarden]

Ani Reviews: Hellstrip Gardening

Alrighty homies here's another Informal Book Review. This is the second time I've done a book review, but I hope this is helpful!

[Photo ID: a book, titled "Hellstrip Gardening: Create a paradise between the sidewalk and the curb" by Evelyn J. Hadden (Author of Beautiful No-Mow Yards) With photographs by Joshua McCullough, Foreword by Lauren Springer Ogden]

Out of the seven books I checked out from the library this round, I picked this one second because not only was I looking forward to the read, but so were some friends in my gardening server! Its one of, if not the longest book in the stack--the main contents are 279 pages total--but its definitely well worth the read! You can see where I live blogged it here.

The inspiration and energy in this book is potent! By the time I finished reading the foreword and the introduction, I was already dreaming up new gardening projects to work on next spring, and that energy stayed up all the way until the end! It definitely helps that the photos in this book are absolutely gorgeous! Seriously, even if you aren't wanting to make a front yard garden, I'd recommend this book for cool garden photos alone! This is another one of those books that's way more relevant if you're the home owner, or a landscaper (or just got permission from your parents to do some front yard gardening), but even still so much of the advice in this book is great for just about any kind of gardening as well! Between beautiful photos of front yard gardens others have already done, tons of encouragement and advice on how to handle anything from trees to poor soils to outdated laws and HOA boards, and a deluge of plant recommendations for different grow zones and purposes, it's definitely a valuable resource!

After the introduction, this book is separated into four major sections referred to as Parts. There's Inspirations, Situations, Creation, and Curbside-Worthy Plants. If you're looking for ideas on what a converted yard can look like, Inspirations and Creation is the place to go. If you're unsure how to do so with any specific circumstances you may be facing, Situations is the section for you. So on and so forth. All in all, between the gorgeous photos, and the amazing content, this was a fairly quick read for me!

I will say, this is a book aimed directly for gardeners in the US. While some of the general advice might be good for people abroad, at the end of the day its a book written in an American perspective for gardeners in America. That being said, it focuses on America as a whole--so if you're hoping for a dedicated section on how to do what you want in your state specifically, you might get lucky, you might get unlucky. I know the example garden for my state wasn't anything I'd be excited about, meanwhile there's three sample gardens for Minnesota (two in Minneapolis) and there's only twelve sample gardens in the book! Also, if you're looking for a book to tell you to only ever use native plants in your garden, this isn't the one--the book will eagerly encourage you use native plants, and will implore you to remove any invasive plants that may be on your property, but is also more than welcome to recommending well behaved non-native plants. Let it be known that I don't think this is a problem at all! But if you're picky about that, I'm just letting that be known.

Oh and also one final note. The book is called Hellstrip Gardening, and it does talk about hellstrips, but it doesn't only talk about hellstrips. A good chunk of the example gardens don't even have hellstrips. This book talks plenty about full yard transformation! Which I find fantastic and enlightening! If you're looking for a book that's only about hellstrips, though, this isn't it.

All in all, this is an amazing book with amazing photos, 10/10 could probably show to someone to get them to see the light of front yard gardens.

#ani reviews #ani rambles #out of queue #hellstrip gardening #I think another cool thing about this book is that it--albeit briefly--addresses some of the fears people might have about converted yards #like it doesn't go into full detail about all of them but it at least acknowledges it #which is honestly better than what a lot of articles i've read or the other book I've read in this stack have done #and granted the info they gave about alleviating tick fears isn't anything I haven't heard off a headspace hotel post #but it is nice to see it acknowledged in a published work! #still not sure if I would be able to convince My Mom to do something like this #because outside of 'wide paths' it gives no advice about Snakes and thats probably my mom's biggest concern outside of 'yard is lawn is gra #and my previous google search attempts yielded Nothing Helpful in that front #but thats less of a flaw of the book itself and more of a 'hurdle i personally gotta figure out' #i am getting off topic lets end the tags here gbye

[solarpunkani]

Hi! I love your blog! I live in California and I was wondering if you had any advice on native plants in the warmer areas, or book recommendations on that topic. I have a bit of yard space, but not a lot of time to dedicate to the project.

Hey! Thanks so much, I appreciate the kind words!

I'm not in California (I'm actually way off in the opposite coast, I'm East Coast Floridian lol) but I can do my best with what I've found to be the case for me!

I can confidently say that a lot of native plants grow... kinda slowly, especially from seed. Hell, I've been growing Sandhill milkweed seeds since February, and those suckers still aren't an inch tall all the way into April! You're gonna need patience. Other plants I've heard grow really quickly and can spread fast, so you're gonna want to know which do what and prepare accordingly. In the very least, have a contingency plan for if things get out of control--maybe uprooting and repotting volunteer plants to give away could be a good strategy! Of course, if you're worried about a native plant spreading more than you'd like, you can grow it in a pot!

Either way, the thing about native plants is that they're most likely going to get better with time and care. If something looks really wimpy and sad in year one, in year two it may come back and be a superstar! Sometimes they'll surprise you--I thought a lot of my coreopsis flowers got decimated by snails last year, but this year they're coming back strong, and I've only been planting more of them! With that being said, do try to remember where you planted what--I think I accidentally destroyed my Aquatic Milkweed plant last year digging around to put something else in the ground (though my soil isn't very aquatic in the first place and I'm surprised it survived 2 years).

All that being said, I'm most knowledgeable about native plants in the Florida area (and honestly, the more I poke around on iNaturalist, the more I realize... I barely know anything lol), but! I hope I can provide some resources on California native plants for you to refer to!

I probably don't have to be the one to tell you that California is very big. It has a lot of different climates and growing conditions, so your mileage may vary with any of the sites I give you. But hopefully at least something helps!

Here is a link to the Ojai Valley Land Conservancy's guide to native California wildflowers! It's also downloadable as a PDF! They also have a guide for planting and watering California native plants that may be helpful!

Califlora is a nonprofit database providing information on California native plants, and they seem to also have a growing guide to help you find what plants grow in what area and with what care needs!

The California Native Plant Society will likely be a good resource! They have 36 chapters state-wide, each with their own website, so checking out the chapter that serves your area will likely be a fantastic resource for you! If they're anything like the chapter in my district here in FL, they'll likely have monthly meetings and may even host field trips and plant sales! Pro tip, if they're hosting a plant sale, show up early--I missed out on milkweed because I showed up on time and not 10 minutes early. I am still salty about that, but I regaled the tale on my gardening blog, so I won't bring that here. Here's a page that'll help you find out which chapter serves your area! Their main page also has a tool to help you pick native plants by location and water needs, providing information and tips, and finding nearby nurseries that may have the plants you're looking for! Fingers crossed there's relevant nurseries in your area, my city... doesn't have much.

Across the United States, there's land grant universities that have a mission to make agricultural research accessible to growers in their state, and they'll likely also provide information on native plants as well! To the best of my ability, I think this is the extensions office website for California--the University of California Agriculture and Natural Resources website. I did however find the University of California Cooperative Extension which... is either what I meant to find, or something else, I'm no longer sure. Or is it this site that we need? I don't know what's going on anymore.

SFinBloom is a... group? Team? Pair? That's gotten popular for guerrilla gardening in the San Francisco area (but they'll also travel to other places? I lost track). They sell native seed blends on their website, and have five for California! Which makes sense, since most of the work they do is in California. I haven't tried their Southeast mix any, but they sell seed blends and shakers that one could use for on-the-go seed scattering, but no one's stopping you from buying the seeds and using them in your yard. I'd highly suggest double checking the list to be sure they're all native, which is honestly something I'd recommend when it comes to any seed mix being sold, but feel free to give it a shot! They provide the common name and the Latin name, which in my opinion is always a good sign. They have a very popular Tiktok account you can check out if you feel like it too, and an Instagram!

The California Department of Fish and Wildlife lists resources on California native plants. I've listed some already, and some others I do not have the braincells to check out at the moment.

Regarding books, I think of all my gardening books, I only have 2 that specifically talk about native pollinator plants. One is a purchase from Barnes and Nobles, which was published by the Florida Native Plant Society, so it's extremely Florida-specific. I do also have The Xerces Society Guide to Attracting Native Pollinators: Protecting North America's Bees and Butterflies, which does have a list of Pollinator and Nectar Plants in the back few pages, including a section for California and the Southwest. The rest of the book talks about why you should pollinator garden, special considerations for gardening in different places, and different kinds of native bees so let's be real. Here you go.

Shhhhh don't tell Xerces.

Speaking of native wildflowers, it would be remiss of me not to mention milkweed specifically. It's My One Thing. Milkweed4Monarchs has lists of native milkweeds arranged by state, which is what I've been using lately to recommend species to people. It provides 18 names, but I'll tell you right now, I envy anyone who can grow Heart-leaf milkweed (A. cordifolia) naturally in their region and as such. Please. Do it for me. This site also sells seeds, which I haven't purchased personally but a friend in my gardening server has successfully grown Purple Milkweed (A. purparescens) from this shop and that's honestly a pretty high recommendation in my book.

Asides from that! All I can say is that I hope this is helpful! And if any California gardeners want to chime in with their favorite resources and plant lists/plant sources, by all means go ahead!

#gardening #california #native plants #native gardening #resources #out of queue #ani rambles #answered asks #against-all-0dds #ok im gonna go garden now peace out byeeeeee

[lukehemmiings]

Virgin Mary, Luke Hemmings Ch. 1

(Edited work and omg, I posted!!! Also, happy pride month. And I’m gonna turn 19 tomorrow! :,) )

Whenever she walked in, whenever she talked, whenever she fucking laughed — I was the one who got affected by it. It was disgusting, yet so fucking hot. I couldn't help, but try to match my schedule with her classes, just to be with one of my students the whole god fucking damn time. Y/N doesn't care about boys, nor does she care about her popularity. But what she cares about are grades and she's a fucking straight-a-student. She's a fucking good girl.

"Professor Hemmings, you're teaching English Literature?" Roxanna's confused voice echoed in my ears and I looked down at her. For a fact, I know that it's disgusting. Since she's eighteen and I'm twenty-six, but I can't fucking get her out of my head. It's like she planted a seed there and now there's a whole garden. And all she does is letting it grow, with every fucking word we spoke.

"Mr. Clarkson is sick, I just step in for him." it wasn't a lie, but it felt like it. I had to persuade the principal to let me teach this class. Of course, no one knew about my little crush on Roxanna, which I was very glad for.

I remember meeting this class for the very first time. They were great, no complaining. But the way I was staring at her, at every possible second and no one even noticed — not even Y/N herself. And of course those teenagers are very talkative for their age, so I also heard the rumor about their Virgin List. To who and when they lost it. Even most of the professors have information of this list, but I had non. All I heard was, that they called Roxanna, the Virgin Mary.

"Virgin Mary, come over!" Daniel, a boy from the baseball team yelled, earning laughter of his friends and I stiffened. Roxanna visibly stiffened as well and her face fell. I wish I could tell her something to comfort her, but all I did was standing up and waiting for everyone to be quiet. And I won't just teach English Literature today.

"Good morning, students! Today, I will give you some advice, you may need it or you may not. Then we will continue to work on the essays that Mr. Clarkson handed you all last week, does that sound like a plan?" I suggest and got a few hums as answer. Roxanna was scribbling something on her book and I smiled.

"Advice mainly for the boys. Boys, do you think you know how to treat a lady?" I looked at Daniel, when he grinned. I don't like this guy, because all jokes aside, he's such a douche and makes Roxanna feel bad about something she's very fond of to still have. Her virginity and for all I fucking care, being a virgin in this time is harder, because everyone fucks everything.

"Fuck her and leave, making her beg for more." A friend of Daniel's said. His name was Cody and he was just like Daniel, a douche.

"A girl isn't a dog, Cody." I rolled with my eyes, walking to his table. "A girl is more than that. She's smart, well-behaved. And does it matter if she wants to wait?" I asked him and he shakes his head. "If I want something, I'll get what I want." Daniel and Cody high fived and I looked at Roxanna, who was now blushing furiously and it looked so adorable.

This is for nothing. I passed out the essays and sat back on my desks, only to grab my laptop and correct some tests. I heard whispers of students and giggles. Then I hear a faint gasp and a thud. Looking up, I see Cody on Roxanna's table. He threw some kind of liquid over her sheets and let me tell you, that she wrote fucking six pages already.

I could see the poor girl tearing up, which broke my heart. "Cody, sit back down. Roxanna, come here." I demanded and clenched my jaw. I wish I could throw some kind of rock against Cody's head, but there's something called law and you can't go against it, so I'm fucked for now.

Roxanna's little body moved to my desk and all I did, was standing up and nodding towards my seat. "Take my laptop, I'll let you work it on there, so I can print it out for you, alright?" I told her quietly, as the students started working on their stuff again.

"Professor Hemmings, that's not," I cut her off and rose my eyebrows. "Just do it, I'll keep you after class."

ROXANNA

My heart was nearly slamming against my chest and I gulped. The class was done and everyone was leaving, while I managed to get half of my papers in Professor Hemmings’ laptop. It felt so fucking weird doing my stuff here and in front of everyone. Until everyone left, I continued working on the MacBook.

"I think you can stop." a warm hand made me wince and look up. Professor Hemmings looked at me, a faint smile on his face and I gulped, nodding and saving the project. Suddenly I felt burning hot under my own Professor's glare and all I wanted was to get out. Or get off of the feeling.

"T-thank you again, for your laptop." my eyes met his icy blue ones, as he only smiled. He didn't say anything, he just nodded and I fumbled with my fingers. "I'm sorry for Cody, he's a douche." he mumbles, making me smile. "That's true. He is mean and unfair." I agreed and my teacher nodded, bending down, so his lips were on my ear. A faint breath crashed against my ear, like a wave crashed against the cliffs.

"What are you doing to me, Roxy?" okay, no way in hell, that this was supposed to mean something non sexual. Also — Roxy. No one has called me that before. My heart was almost hammering against my chest and I don't dare to move, it was like he cast some kind of spell to me. Whatever it was, it felt good — forbidden, but good.

"I— I didn't do anything, Prof,"

"Call me Luke when we're alone." the sound of him begging was so submissive and good. It made my heart flutter and I felt so comforted somehow. My eyes fluttered shut and I gulped, playing nervously with the ring around my ring finger. Luke noticed it and chuckled, planting a soft kiss on my neck. He helped me get up from his desk and looked down at me.

"You do so much that affects me, sweetheart. The way you walk into this classroom and laugh, fucking talk. It doesn't matter what you're talking about, I'm turning to you and listen to you. You make me fucking crazy and I feel so fucked up for fantasizing about one of my students and it's so," I hushed him, with a peck on his lips and wide-eyed. Opening my mouth to say something, I couldn't form a sentence.

"I— Oh God, I— I have to go." with that, I gathered my stuff and literally ran out of the classroom. Of course I don't care about Luke in this moment, all I do is run through the corridors to my dorm, which is a one bed room. Thank God, I'm not sharing my room with anyone. The way I actually enjoyed that little peck on Luke's lips made me whine in frustration. There was this small sensation in my stomach, it was pulling downwards — right between my thighs.

A knock made me flinch and turn around. I had the door closed and looked at it with a horrific face expression. Another knock and I winced out of the stare, as I grabbed the doorknob and turned it, looking into a pair of icy blue eyes. Luke fucking Hemmings was right in front of me. Oh, I'm going to pass out.

"You forgot something." he tells me and I frown. What could I've possible forgot in this class and it couldn't wait for tomorrow? Luke stepped into my room closing the door and pushing me against it. "This." his lips land on mine, which made my heart nearly burst out of my chest. I whimpered, clinching onto Luke's golden mane. Dropping my bag, I wrapped my arms around him and enjoyed the feeling of his plump lips on mine.

The lips of my teacher, who's twenty-six and me, the student. Who's only stupid and eighteen. Of course I kiss him back, because I couldn't help it and like the way he was making me feel worthy of love. Or worthy of his love, which sounds stupid, but I still like to think that way.

"I can't get you out of my head, darling. Especially not after this." to be fair, I couldn't get him out of my head either. Instead, I just pulled him into my room and pushed him against the bed, to press my lips against his once again. His lips tasted like coffee and a bit of mint. His breath was shallow, almost as if he didn't wanted to breath, because I would let go or something like that.

"Luke." I mumbled against his lips, as I bit against his lower lip. He groaned and picked me up, only to turn me down on my bed. The sheets were cooling my body temperature down a bit, while my body was flaming hot. No matter what, even with Luke's sweet kisses, my body heat went crazy.

"Let me treat you the way you deserve, princess. Let me treat you like a lady." his whispers made me impatient and even though I'm still a virgin, I felt the sudden urge to give Luke my virginity, after all he's a man and knows what he's doing.

He's also my teacher, so I'll have to be careful.

I whimpered when I feel his hands on my waist, right under my shirt. Nevertheless I nodded, being ready for what Luke wanted me to give him. "Take it, Luke. Treat me like I'm yours." and the fact that I said this, made me even more dizzy. Luke smiled, taking me closer to his body. "You're so beautiful like this, darling. So, so pretty." with that, his warm fingers slid down the waistband of my pants. He undid it and throw it across the room.

The fact that Luke took his time with all this made me nearly cry under him. I know for a fact that he wouldn't just fuck me. Something was behind all of it, but I was too horny to care. His hands were soft, warm and even a bit sweaty, which meant that he was nervous as well. I smile through nervousness.

"I won't just take it yet, baby. A gentleman waits." his raspy voice made me blush. God, he could say anything and the chance would be very high, that I would be even wetter. My cheeks burned because of that stupid grin I had on my face. Luke licked his lips, looking at me, while he pulled my panties of my legs. His eyes were fucking focused on me.

Fuck, I was half naked in front of my teacher.

The teacher who's going to do stuff with me.

Unholy stuff.

"Where is that pretty mind of yours, love?" he whispered, pulling me even closer. His hands wandered to my bra, which he took off easily. His eyes traveled down my body and I swear to fucking God, I never felt so desired right now. Fingertips wandering over my skin, the goosebumps ran over me, like wildfire. Adrenaline shook through my body and all I wanted, was him to touch me like he needed to.

"Here. My mind is here." I whispered back, when Luke bites down onto his rosy lip. He looked so good while doing so. My hands traveled up to his shoulders, down to his shirt, which I started to unbutton. His tattoos suited him, they were really pretty on his pale skin. "It better stays the way. Need you to picture this into your mind, forever." with that, his lips started to work on me. Soft and light— until his kisses went south and that felt amazing.

"Luke— Oh my—" I couldn't say anything. It blew my mind, how a few kisses could leave me this speechless. My heart was jumping in my chest — no, it was hammering against my ribs and I felt it. It was almost painful. "Speechless, with just that? Sweet." I felt him smirking against my skin, as his lips wandered even more south, until he was on my inner thigh. My heart started beating faster, while his lips were so close to me. The next feeling was the most terrific feeling ever: Luke's tongue on me.

Moaning, I grabbed into his dark blonde curls, eyes rolling back and back arching to get more of this feeling. "Sweetheart, you're so fucking wet." he remarks, sliding his tongue into my slit, collecting all the wetness he caused. I bite my lip, my hips jerking slowly against his mouth. Luke pressed me against the mattress again, making me whimper in dissatisfaction.

"Please— I—I need more of it, Luke. Please!" my whimpers are pathetic. But Luke seemed to like it, which made me feel special. He's the first one, who came this close to me and he surely stay the first and last one. He dug his face deeper between my thighs, licking me like I'm some sort of ice cream, which felt absolutely amazing for the record.

"So untouched, fuck. Baby, you're a fucking treasure you know that?" he groans, right against my clit, making me moan and arch my back more, if that was possible. He slowly slid his finger into me, making me cry out on pleasure. "And all fucking mine, get it? You're mine, Roxanne." the way he spoke my name out. God, I'm so close.

"Luke—" I whimper, hearing his slow chuckle. "I know, baby. You're close. I feel it. Let it go for me. Cum, Roxy." he nearly begs, making my legs shake even fucking more. I hum in pleasure, sitting up so I can look at him. His blue eyes were darting into mine, as he finger fucked me to hell. I was all into him right now — his looks, his face, his hair. Every fucking thing.

I came. And I came pretty hard. It was my first ever orgasm, which felt fucking amazing, because I really felt like I was in heaven. "That's it. That's my good fucking girl." he softly says, watching me calm down slowly from the immense high I just got. My heart was still up to my ears and everything sounded like someone put his hands on my ears. I want this. I want Luke — in every way.

"Stay after class tomorrow, I'll show you even more, sweet girl." he grins, licking his lips, which had my taste on it, as he got up and buttoned his shirt back on. "I will, Professor Hemmings." biting my lips, I looked at him, while his blue eyes darkened and he clenched his jaw slowly. "Careful, princess. You might end up in trouble."

Oh, I gladly be in trouble…

#lukehemmings smut #fanfiction #5sos #5sossmut

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Monday 26 November 1832

7 40

12

fine morning F51° at 8 - looking over coal memoranda till after 9 - Mr Jeremiah Rawson came at 9 ½ for about ½ hour - he asked if I would take £200 per acre said I had had £230 bid and had promised not to sell at that price but to have more so set £230.10.0  per acre and said I was determined not take less - he said his brother would take him mad to talk of that price - he had only given £100 per acre for the coal he had bought in Southowram - but however he would take down the terms of agreement - which I proposed as follows £230.10.0 per acre one acre to be paid for per annum by 2 half yearly payments the first of which to be made on signing the deed - 10 years to get the coal in, and if not got in that time, a further term not exceeding 5 years to be allowed - surface measure - to have his answer on Friday - went in to my father and Marian for a little while then breakfast with my aunt at 10 ½ having just had a note from Mr. Mitchell saying that Mr. Carr valued the Godley estate 20D.W. at 1/. per yard £3136. new barn 20x9 yards high 7 yards £200 Building 12x12 two stores £250 = £3586.  Mitchells’ valuation is £70 per annum at 30 years purchase ‘and that is small interest and a great rent £2100.  Carr proposes selling the land except the croft and the buildings but if he sells the whole the above princes he wishes – you see what he wants for the estimate is £1486 more than it is worth – shall recommend you to let it alone, as it appears he will not sell it at present without he can sell it you too dear – I am of opinion that he has no customer and if he has no one will give more than the sum I have mentioned – N.B. He pressed me to let him know immediately’ – I certainly shall not give Carrs’ price – said not a word of Godley to my father and Marian -

 SH:7/ML/E/15/0155

talked it over to my aunt and came to my room at 11 – wrote the above of today and the following to Mr. Mitchell ‘Shibden hall – Monday 26 November 1832. Sir – Mr. Carrs’ price is out of the question, and I shall certainly take your advice – but I shall be obliged to you to let him know that I will give your valuation £2400. and if he agrees to this, and chooses to give me £60 a year for the land, and £5 a year for the buildings, he may take all as it stands, and occupy the whole under the same sort of written agreement as that under which he now occupies the land I have already purchased I am, sir, etc. etc. etc.’ – wrote the above note to ‘Mr. Mitchell Landvaluer Cowmarket H-x’ – and went out at 12 40 having washed etc.  very little cousin Saturday and last night and yesterday but more and pretty well today – with Pickles and his son John stubbing the hedge between the 2 brook Ings and planting hazels on the old pit hill at the bottom of my walk – John Booth planted thorns under the great high Godley wall in James Smiths’ far brow – William Green carted hazels and the 2 thorns into Charles H-‘s acrefield – came in at 5 50 – changed my things – dinner at 6 ½ - afterwards read from p. 151. to 228. end of Gilpin of Landscape gardening – then wrote 3 pages to ‘Dr Belcombe, Minster Yard, York’ over which I could not help laughing - hardly to know what to say but in general terms, there was certainly amendment - really think his medicines have done good - are we to go on with the same medicines without interval - or stop a while and then begin again - or can he make any little change - ‘the mind is worse than the body and, in this respect, I confess, I found a nervous young lady much more difficult to manage than I expected - we have relapses which I can neither understand, nor guard against - there is some guiding trouble in the heart - some aching void (if voids can ache) or something or other, that neither medicine, nor I can reach - tell him to direct his next letter to me at Shibden - mention the rumbling in the bowels of Friday and Saturday at the request of the maiden gentle woman staying with Miss W- I feared it arose from something that affected her spirits - was right, and never seemed wiser in my life the more I see of nervous case   the more I shall be able to appreciate the excellence of your manner and questions and obs[ervations]  and humbug in York      my love to your wife and the rest  vale valeque [be well and strong] very truly yours AL - mention that her friends and she herself think her lung delicate and that I have said how clever Steph is in using the stethoscope - had written my letter and so far of today at 10 ¼ at which hour my aunt came to me in the drawing room to wish goodnight – came up to my room at 10 20 – fine November day – neither so hazy or so damp ever as yesterday – F50 ½° now at 10 ¾ p.m. – just before getting into bed wrote another sort of note to Mr. Mitchell

[whoismiaaa]

Writing Initiative #5

This week I presented my 3d and my experimental assignments. I got positive feedback on my 3D assignment. This was the first time that I showed the toys in the box. And I was advised that it worked well in the form of the box rather than the Toys just being left alone. It came across well to my peers that the box resembled the keepsakes on memories box. I was happy with this because I think it helps with the concept of it. Being an older box where you keep all of your old favorite toys. I also got feedback on The title that I put on The Box. And when I came into the class. I would sent her what mediums. I could use it with in a receipt. Feedback on ideas of what I can use to make the tax on the Appear old so It was advised that I could use stamps or stamps. So I'm gonna try and see what works better in. Do that for the title. I also mentioned that I was thinking of writing poems also inside of the box and I did get a bit of refuse on. I had 2 different poems in a got a bit of advice that the shorter and simpler one made more sense with the concept of childhood and toys further I also mentioned that I was thinking of writing poems also inside of the box and I did get a bit of refuse on. I had 2 different poems in a got a bit of advice that the shorter and simpler one made more sense with the concept of childhood and toys. Further it was mentioned that I should ensure that if I do beside to add the poems to my projects. I need to make sure that it is done in a way that does not feel forced. And this was mentioned because I side. That I wanted the poem to possibly continue throughout the project and sort of show that evolving Uber time and how the poem reeds and changes Uber time but since it is not the main part of each of my projects. I will be considering that later on. I think a bit more. But for now I think it does work for both my 2 dimensional and my 3 dimensional projects. So I'm gonna keep it there.

I had also showed my Experimental project in this time. I only had a couple of book of like sprays for the book. My main idea is using that Scrapbook journal sort of photobook thing. Collecting a bunch of memories. It was mentioned that the memory aspects of it is really interesting and something that is very important in essential to all of my projects and that it is very impactful in relationship to my word. With the materials that I'm using for the experimental project I Was unsure about the esthetics of it. What I showed to my peers was sort of a bunch of different esthetics such as having these very old postcards, junk suppose. Next to this like reflective material. Does gardener some really positive feedback. Even though I was a peanut. I was a bit unsure about what was said about it was that. These different esthetics, but next to each other. Feel fairy March like different impossibly. Identity is but more so like finding yourself and also. How like your esthetics and what you like can change over time, so it can also represent that growth. So I'm gonna keep trying to incorporate like a punch of different aesthetics and not really worry about them being so different from each other. I also was not sure about binding the book late. Since call these collected materials were different sizes. I wasn't sure how to bind them. So I did ask my peers about possibly having one page. Size for all the materials are combined into these collages, but it was mentioned that the way put the materials are right now. Being all different sizes and papers actually works really well again relating to these different stages of your life. And the different like esthetics and identities and likes that you can have and your life. So I am gonna keep working on the different sizes of papers and all these different materials. And hopefully that will make the bug a lot more interactive and very representative of like what these collected materials are. The journaling can be in how it can look chaotic in sort of Messy and not very uniform. So I'm gonna lean into that for the rest of my collages.

Moving forward I need to finalize the Text on the box for my 3 dimensional project. And I will also need to look through all of the materials that I have to gathered for the experimental project and create more of these strange colleges so that I can then bind them together.

I also mentioned that I was worried for my reflective piece since I didn't have any ideas for it. For my 4 dimensional piece. I know I wanna do a video sort of film using aspect of all of my projects sort of showing progression of life possibly stop motion but I didn't have anything yet for my reflective.

I also mentioned that I was worried for my reflective piece since I didn't have any ideas for it. For my 4 dimensional piece. I know I wanna do a video sort of film using aspect of all of my projects sort of showing progression of life possibly stop motion but I didn't have anything yet for my reflective.

I also mentioned that I was worried for my reflective piece since I didn't have any ideas for it. For my 4 dimensional piece. I know I wanna do a video sort of film using aspect of all of my projects sort of showing progression of life possibly stop motion but I didn't have anything yet for my reflective.

I also mentioned that I was worried for my reflective piece since I didn't have any ideas for it. For my 4 dimensional piece. I know I wanna do a video sort of film using aspect of all of my projects sort of showing progression of life possibly stop motion but I didn't have anything yet for my reflective.

This conversation was Really insightful, we were talking about like. What could? What else could represent healing like in a different state of life that I haven't yet covered something very important that I. Mentioned I wanted to do was to sort of look forward to the future and not have like send an end chapter sort of. And it was mentioned that if I make like a book or letters or something. I could keep a bunch of like empty pages at the end of it. So, for example, like a journal with a bunch of MT dates for the future. The general idea I don't think will work cause. It is very similar to my Scrapbook that I'm making cause. That also has some journal elements in it. So I won't be doing that exactly. But I did have an idea when you were talking. I was thinking about like letters to your future self. And how that is something that I remember I had to write when I was an elementary school. So I think That that might be an interesting thing to explore a bit more. But I with definitely need to think about that More as it is not Fully developed right now.

[thenovelartist]

Boys as Dads - Tears of Themis Headcanons

I've been sitting on this for days, writing it after @luke-appreciator mentioned the boys as dads and henceforth planting the idea in my mind.

Luke

LOOK! Luke is living past his three year “time limit” goshdarnit! He gets to see his kids grow up!

And he has several of them with his MC (I’m thinking four or five.)

They were all mostly planned. (They were just rolling with however many they were blessed with until they decided to stop.)

When his first child was born, he cried. He didn’t think he’d get this opportunity, but now he’s a dad and feels overwhelmed by the blessing.

He is as involved in his kids’ lives as he possibly can be.

He’s the dad that will teach his kids how to fix everything.

Totally the hands-on dad of wrestling and headlocks and ruffling their hair.

Yes, even his girls, but in a slightly different context. Uses those moments to teach them self-defense. (Yes, he’ll do that to his boys, but he’s more concerned about his girls.)

That said, he’s very protective of his kids and wants to give them all the knowledge he can to make sure they can keep themselves safe.

Will try to get his kids into Sherlock Holmes.

One of his kids is named John after John Watson. It was actually MC’s idea, much to Luke’s surprise and delight.

When he’s away on mission (which already makes him sad because he doesn’t like being away from his precious family), he hates it when he has to go full dark mode. Because he’d at least like to call them and tell them good night if he can’t be there.

The king of pictures.

There are cameras scattered throughout the house so he can easily steal a picture whenever he wants to.

Will put together scrapbooks upon scrapbooks of photographs for all kinds of events. The kids get in on these activities, and it has become a bit of a family event to arrange the pages together.

Not a day goes by he takes for granted. Does not matter if he’s cleaning up diapers or one of his kids is sick or he’s having to do damage control when something gets out of hand. He cherishes all of it.

Vyn

I see Vyn having one or two. Both were totally planned.

Mostly, he just sees children as patients, but now, he’s got two children he actually raises.

And the moment his first child is placed into his arms, he realizes with sickening clarity that his actions have a direct impact on their lives.

While he knew that beforehand, there was a moment it clicked, and Vyn felt himself change that day.

He strives to be the best father he can, minding everything he does to lead by example.

He didn’t have the greatest childhood, meaning he does everything he can to make sure his kids never have to experience the things he wished never happened to him.

He’s a bit of a helicopter parent despite knowing he needs to not be. All he wants to do is protect his kids, is that so wrong?

However, because of that, he happens to understand and sympathize with parents more now. His kids wrecked him in ways he didn’t think possible.

It’s a bit of a learning experience for him to allow his kids to learn on their own. He knows so much and wants to just tell them everything they need to know, but realizes that he can’t do that. He has to let them learn and grow in their own ways.

He wants to give his kids the best, from quality schooling to extracurricular activities. But he’s also is more than happy to teach them their way around the kitchen and garden as well as play games and do puzzles with them.

Also really enjoys reading them books at bedtime. A habit that will linger around for surprisingly long while.

He’s the dad that is glad to help with homework whenever they need it.

Always offers to listen to them and talk them through things. It would be pretty shameful if the psychiatrist couldn’t help guide his own kids through their own mental hurdles.

And he knows he did something right because his kids are comfortable talking with him about a lot of things, even in their teenage and young adult years.

Ends up the dad who has the best life advice that his kids eventually learn to always listen to even if they don’t appreciate it when they’re younger.

Artem

Ends up with a large family, both adopting and raising his own.

Probably two of their own, and two or three (or four… maybe five) adopted.

The kids they had were planned; the ones they adopted… not always. It tended to be a “this one grew on you unexpectedly” situation.

Loves all his kids equally, whether they’re his own or adopted.

Super supportive dad. Probably spoils his kids in praise and hugs.

That being said, he won’t coddle them. He’s all for supporting them, but knows when to allow his kids face the negative consequences of their actions. He’s an attorney, after all. This is his “justice” side showing.

But he’s fair. He will guide them the best he can but will let experience be the teacher if he needs to. And if experience is the cruel teacher of the day, he’ll be there, whether to pick them up, dust them off, and offer hugs or to talk them through how to best navigate the consequences and avoid the situation next time.

His schedule revolves around any and all events in his kids’ lives. Which, considering the size of his family, is a balancing act.

Days off are sacred. That is his time to spend with his family.

Nightly family dinners are a big thing in the Wing household. Game nights on weekends are even bigger. And louder.

He’s the dad that can go from tutus and tea parties to action figures and lego sets. Whatever his kids are up for, he’ll gladly participate.

Every year, for each kid’s birthday, will spend one-on-one time with them and do whatever they want to do for an entire day. With a big family, especially with the adopted ones, he knows it might be easy to feel lost in the crowd and doesn’t want any of his kids thinking that.

Once a year, they go on a week-long vacation somewhere in nature. No phones, no technology; this is family bonding time and time for kids to just run around and be kids.

All in all, grade A dad.

Marius

Ends up with two or three.

The first one was a surprise, and likely one more after that was not planned, either.

But the moment he holds his first child, a switch goes off in his mind and Marius matures, knowing he’s got not only his girl to protect and keep safe but now a helpless little one who’s wholly dependent upon him.

He’s probably the second most hover-y of the boys behind Vyn. And that’s less because he’s a helicopter parent and more because he knows he’s a target for people and is very concerned for his kids’ safety. So he’s hypervigilant of everything, including what school they go to, who they’re friends with, where they go, etc.

Their house… oh my…

He’s an artist, and he will inspire that in his kids. There’s paint, stickers, crayons, and markers freaking everywhere.

Oh, and art taped to practically every wall. And a few in his office.

Marks every major event down on a calendar. His assistant knows there will be hell to pay if there’s a scheduling mishap.

Never let him help with homework (unless it’s art). Because he’s the guy who will teach his kids the smartass answers to some questions, even if it gets his kids in trouble.

(Spoiler: his kids never mind and instead pick up his bad habits.)

(Much to MC’s chagrin. Will make Marius go sit in the corner, much to his children’s delight.)

Will put his kids into any extracurricular activities they want growing up.

Totally spoils them in that way.

But the minute they turn into little shits about their wealth? Say good bye to your technology for the next few days. Marius is all about spoiling his kids, but not rotten. Even he hates snotty rich people he has to deal with, and he’s not gonna let his kids be like that.

Loves spending time doing things with his kids. Up for anything from the midday ice creams when mom told them no to spontaneous adventures. Oh yeah, he’s that dad.

#tears of themis #tears of themis headcanons #luke pierce #vyn richter #artem wing #marius von hagen

[bucky-hues]

stucky fic recs

here are some stucky fic recs! as always, be sure to read the warnings for each fic <3

one shots

finding home | @thedamageofherdays

cap steve x modern bucky

After he is caught in a terrible rainstorm while hiking, Bucky is glad to find shelter at the cottage Steve shares with his daughter and his dog. Bucky ends up finding so much more than just a safe place to spend the night.

x | @dreadlockholiday

steve x bucky

Request: Bucky looking through a glossy magazine and saying something like "God, can you imagine being paid for just looking cute?" And without thought Steve replies, "you'd be a millionaire" and Bucky just blushes furiously while Steve's all like 😳 *oh no, I just said that out loud*

x | @dreadlockholiday (18+)

steve x bucky

Bucky finds his BFF Steve's sketchbook... and it's full of nothing but sketches of Bucky... naked.

sweethearts | @musette22

steve x bucky

Steve confesses his feelings to Bucky using sweethearts

my moon, my man | @musette22 (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

AU meet-cute. Strangers on a Train, but with less murder and more sexual tension.

make it till you fake it | AggressiveWhenStartled (AO3)

steve x bucky

“Ned,” Peter said, like a drowning man sighting land. “Ned. Captain America and the Winter Soldier are fake dating right now and it is the most painfully awkward and obvious thing I have ever seen, all of us want to die, Ned.”

things my heart used to know | Nightwing11 (AO3)

steve x bucky

In a world where soulmates can communicate telepathically with their partners, Steve Rogers has always had Bucky Barnes with him, a calming voice in a sea of turmoil. And, when Bucky falls off the train during World War II, Steve experiences deafening silence for the first time.

Now, after crashing a plane in the Arctic to save the world and being frozen for 70 years, Steve’s still trying to figure out how to live without Bucky there. His new friends are trying to help him adjust, to move on. And he thought he was doing better, he really did.

So, why is he suddenly hearing Bucky’s voice again?

catfish | @buckmebxrnes (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve Rogers is a famous movie star, known for his role as Captain America. Bucky Barnes is a bored law student who drinks too much wine. Bucky gets on match.com to boost his confidence. What he doesn't expect is a guy using Steve Rogers' pictures on a dating profile. Bucky decides to mess with the guy. After all, what idiot uses Steve Rogers' pictures on a dating site?

Not like it's really him, right? Bucky may need more wine.

let's go have fun | @sebastanbucky

steve x bucky

“Nat wanted me to-” Nat clears her throat and he rolls his eyes. “I wanted to tell you something.” He looks at Steve with a look he hopes says ‘play along’. “Okay. What did you want to tell me?” Bucky has to take a deep breath to keep from laughing again, it helps with his performance as Nat nods encouragingly at him. “I’m gay.” He says, making his voice sound shaky and weak.

the way you came around | sokaless (AO3)

steve x bucky

After a while, Bucky says, “You know, this song sounds like it was written for you.” “That's funny,” Steve remarks. “I chose it because it reminded me of you.” Steve gives Bucky an iPod full of his favourite songs from the 21st century to help him deal with his nightmares. Bucky has a new mission- to find out who Steve is in love with, because there are a few too many unrequited love songs on that iPod.

stuck on you | wearing_tearing (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

“Bucky? You don’t look so hot.”

Bucky makes a tiny little sound in the back of his throat, only to start coughing. Of course he doesn’t look hot. He’s sick and he’s dying and Steve obviously isn’t attracted to him.

you have the place next to my place | justanotherStonyfan (AO3)

cap steve x modern bucky

prompt: “We live in adjacent apartments and our bedrooms are on opposite sides of a very thin wall and one night I heard you crying and talked to you through the wall” AU

Captain America helps the Vet next door.

you’ve got (30) new matches | williamkaplans (AO3)

steve x bucky

When everyone finds out Steve's bi thanks to Bucky's recovering memories, Natasha kicks up her match-making into high gear. Steve has zero luck, but Natasha won't give up, especially when Sam (jokingly) suggests online dating. It isn't long before Steve finds someone, a someone who seems eerily familiar.

perfectly right wrong number | melonbutterfly (AO3)

cap steve x modern bucky

It all starts because Steve is too dumb to handle his smartphone.

A wrong number AU in which Bucky Barnes doesn't enter Steve's life (meaning: Bucky wasn't born until the eighties, but Steve is still Captain America) until Steve accidentally dials the wrong number. Wherein there is a lot of texting, some advice via Natasha and Darcy, a bit of pining, and a first date in an amusement park. Oh, and on top of being a disabled veteran, Bucky is a professional catwalker. Literally.

put your number in my phone | MacksDramaticShenanigans (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve tucks his phone back into his pocket and turns back to the computer. He only has to click a few times before he finds the link to the questionnaire and opens it, inputting the participant number before hitting next. The beginnings of the consent form fills the page, and all Steve has left to do now is wait for the participant— one James Barnes, according to the website— to show up.

Thankfully, Steve doesn’t end up having to wait very long. James Barnes shows up ten minutes early and knocks on the door before cracking it open and peeking in.

“Oh, hi,” he says, when he spots Steve sitting at the desk. He pushes the door open all the way and steps into the room just as Steve spins in the chair to face him.

“Um, I’m, uh, a bit early, but I’m here for the decision making study,” James continues, clear blue eyes flickering around the room before landing on Steve again. The skin between his eyebrows crinkles up a little, and god, Steve probably shouldn’t find his uncertainty as cute as he does. “Am I in the right place?”

wouldn’t it be nice | MacksDramaticShenanigans (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

"You are never going to believe what just happened," Bucky bemoans, shaking his head. He's at Steve's side in a moment and doesn't bother to give any warning before he dramatically falls into Steve's lap. Steve just barely manages to save his book from getting squashed.

"What is it?" Steve asks, matching Bucky's dramatic tone. "What am I not going to believe?"

"I just got off the phone with Natasha," he starts. "She cancelled on me!" Bucky throws his arms up, nearly smacking Steve in the face in the process.

Steve carefully places his hand on Bucky's forearm and lowers it away from his face.

"You're kidding," he says, a frown curving onto his lips at the news.

"I wish I was," he sighs. Bucky presses his lips together into a disappointed line and deflates against the back of the couch, slinking down Steve's thighs a little. "Who goes to Coney Island alone? How pathetic is that?"

Steve snorts, earning a glare from Bucky, and pats Bucky's thigh. "Aw, don't be such a sourpuss, Buck," he says. "Who said anything about going alone?"

all jokes aside | darksknight (AO3)

steve x bucky

"Before we know it Banner’s gonna be makin’ insinuations.” (Everyone "jokes" about Steve and Bucky being in a relationship until, eventually, they admit that they are.)

barnes & rogers and the goddamn truth

steve x bucky (teacher au)

There are three well-known facts at Shield High:

1. The history teacher Mr. Barnes is a stone-cold terror, and it’s not even because he only has one arm. 2. The other history teacher, Mr. Rogers, is a mysterious enigma, and it’s something to do with the body of a Greek God and contradicting stories of his past. (They’re all rumours, anyway.) 3. Mr Barnes and Mr Rogers hate each other.

Bucky wouldn’t have it any other way.

in the shadows | DragonWannabe (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

Five times they thought they were almost caught, one time someone found out, and one time they didn't have to hide.

OR:

Bucky and Steve grew up in a time when people like them went to jail.

single and looking | Jaiden_S (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

"Bucky held his place with his index finger and turned the magazine over to check the date on the cover. It was brand new, just out this month. An unexpected cord of anxiety tightened in Bucky’s chest. Single and looking? Frantically, he flipped back to the article. What exactly was Steve looking for? According to the article, Steve’s dream girl should be intelligent, altruistic, well-versed in current events and have a wicked sense of humor. Oh, and he had a thing for high heels and red lipstick. Bucky’s stomach churned as he re-read the article. Was that really what Steve wanted? Make-up and stilettos?"

A slightly sappy tale of two utterly besotted super-soldiers who excel at miscommunication.

these american dreams (ain’t no white picket fences left for me) | kariye (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

In which Bucky has a house, a dog, an herb garden, and a serious case of insomnia. Welcome to Havensport, Indiana (population 8,294), where Tom’s Neighborhood Grocer stays open all night, little old ladies call the car shop to get their refrigerators repaired, and the heat of summer days and the length of summer nights can make you think that this perfect world will last forever.

i’ve been careless with a delicate man | paraxdisepink (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

Steve lets SHIELD think he and Bucky were boyfriends so they’ll let him see the Winter Soldier in medical.

knock on wood | 74days (AO3) 

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve Rogers lives a quiet, steady life, until his next door neighbour moves in and starts having incredibly energetic sex every night. All Steve wants is for him to move his bed away from the wall so the damn headboard doesn't knock a hole through his wall.

progressively bigger keys | spinawren (AO3)

steve x bucky

“A very little key will open a very heavy door.” ― Charles Dickens, Hunted Down

Steve and Bucky, it appears, have less need for a key and more use for a battering ram in trying to come out of the closet.

(The one where Steve tries to do one thing (one thing!) without causing a national ruckus, but the press are determined to see Bucky as Steve's best friend. And nothing more.)

stucky discover gay rights | Alicia_Borealis (AO3)

steve x bucky

“Then, why-” Steve stopped himself and looked at Bucky, who had tears rolling freely down his cheeks. “We’re- we’re not sick?”

“Wait, what?” Tony asked.

“Being a homosexual, it isn’t… wrong?”

-

The story of how Steve Roger's loved and lost Bucky, then how he got him back and then how he realised he was allowed to love him after all.

thursday nights with bucky barnes | Ellessey (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve has a comfortable, well-worn routine for his Thursday nights, until the old man who runs the laundromat breaks his hip.

Then Steve has Bucky instead.

to seek a nood-er world | jehans (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

Send noodz

Steve has been staring at his phone for the last six minutes, eyes narrowed so much they’re almost closed at this point, trying to figure out what the hell Bucky means. Noodz? What the fuck are noodz?

Listen, Steve is at least marginally aware of modern pop culture. He’s heard of nudes — not that nudes are exactly a modern invention; artists have been creating them for millennia — and he does know that people tend to misspell words to be cute or funny. They did that when he was young, too. Because time is a flat circle, apparently.

But, wait—does that mean…?

No. Not possible. Bucky isn’t asking Steve to send him…nudes.

Right?

tied ‘round your throat | sleepypercy (AO3) (18+)

police officer steve x serial killer bucky

Steve's a small-town police officer trying to track a serial killer who's been in Steve's bed the whole time.

much tattoo about nothing | Deisderium (AO3) (18+)

cap steve x modern bucky

Steve Rogers gets a lot of email requests, but never one like this: James Barnes wants to use his healing factor to practice tattoos.

Turns out tattoos give Steve boners.

the perfect man | Ellessey (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Setting up a dating profile is decidedly not in Bucky's skill-set, but against all odds he manages to connect with someone who makes the one-night stand he thought he wanted feel like not nearly enough.

kiss me and take off your clothes | steveandbucky (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve Rogers is dared to send a dick pic to a blog which critiques dick pics (run by none other than Bucky Barnes). Hilarity ensues.

i can’t dare to dream about you anymore | steveandbucky (AO3) 

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve considers himself to be a pretty open-minded guy, which is why he can't quite understand why he feels so uncomfortable whenever he sees his gay roommate kissing guys. He's not homophobic, but how else can he explain the way his stomach twists at the sight?

It takes him a while to catch on.

exam room b | steveandbucky (AO3)

modern steve x nurse bucky

“Wait, what do you mean he asked for me?”

“He asked if the cute male nurse with the ponytail was working today. I assume he meant you.”

kickstart my heart | Kalee60 (AO3) (18+)

doctor steve x modern bucky

Bucky’s Wednesday wasn’t off to a great start. Not only did he wake up in a hospital with his annoyed best friend staring down at him, his treating Doctor just happened to be way too familiar, and the reason for that was slightly mortifying.

With misunderstandings in the air, a snarky nurse who is a pain in his butt and the ugliest neck brace known to man attached to his body. There was no way his Wednesday was ever going to improve. Could it?

you make me feel.. | kalika_999 (AO3) (18+)

cap steve x modern bucky

All Steve wanted was to take a breather, decompress after a mission and go out for a jog in the rain. He wasn't expecting to hide out in a bookstore filled with new and used books or that the employee that worked there thought he was an absolute loser and didn't even realize he was insulting Captain America.

nothing in the world that could stop it | rainbow_nerds (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Bucky just wanted to send his best friend a picture of his cat being an idiot while he was taking a bath. Was it really his fault for forgetting the full length mirror right opposite the tub?

rescue me and hold me in your arms | 74days (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Bucky is on the worst date of his life, and what he really needs of for this waitress to get the message he's sending her with his mind to rescue him. She doesn't, but she does send someone to extract him from a night of torture...

odd ways | peterbparker (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

“And it would have been an amazing night with my son if he wasn’t distracted by the hot guy on the other side of the room,” Sarah sighed, shaking her head. “He’s been looking over at you for the past fifteen minutes.”

Bucky choked on the mouthful of beer he had just taken.

“What?” he croaked. Things were starting to make a little more sense now.

“Right?” Sarah said, waving her hand towards her son. “He completely ignored my garden stories because he’s been making eyes at you so I decided to come over and introduce myself.”

series

rare is this love (keep it covered) | @musette22 (18+)

cap steve x modern bucky

It’s 2014. Captain America has been out of the ice for three years and is trudging along, saving the world and trying to get used to living in the future. Steve thinks he knows how the rest of his life is going to pan out – a life of duty, which he chose when he signed up to be Erskine’s science experiment. But then, he meets Bucky Barnes: the out-of-this-world-gorgeous mechanic and war vet, who turns Steve’s life upside down and makes him question everything he thought he knew. Slowly, Steve comes to realize there is more to life than duty and punching Nazis. Just one problem though: how on earth does a 96-year-old virgin who only just realized he may not be entirely straight make the transition from crush to relationship? Cue healthy amounts of self-doubt, awkward flirting, pretty blushing, existential crises, emotional growth, and maybe, possibly, a sexual awakening.

coming up easy | @musette22 (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

“Listen, I was just thinking,” Steve says, his face open, eyebrows raised in a tentatively hopeful expression. “Why don’t you come stay at my place for a while? I’ve got an office that I barely use, and a change of scenery might do you good, right? Help you beat that writer’s block?” With a crooked smile, he adds, “I promise I’m not a serial killer.”

While Bucky would normally crack a joke about how that’s exactly what a serial killer would say, right now, all he can do is blink at Steve in surprise, heart tripping over itself in his chest. Steve wants him to come and stay at his place. In Massachusetts. Just the two of them.

"Oh," Bucky croaks. "I- Wow."

“I mean, no pressure,” Steve says hastily. “Totally fine if you don’t wanna. I just thought I’d offer, in case it might help, y’know?”

“Yeah.” Bucky ignores the little voice in his head that sounds an awful lot Nat and Becca, telling him he’s setting himself up for heartbreak. “I mean, if you’re sure, that would be amazing.”

4 minute window | @cesperanza

steve x bucky

"Look, if they catch me," Bucky muttered, "they're either going to kill me or they're going to put me in a box with a little window and—Steve, I can't."

swapped | writeonclara (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

if u wanted my number u couldve just asked

u didnt have to steal my whole phone ;)

Steve stared down at his phone, confused. He didn't recognize the number – except, oh wait, he really did. That was his number. On his phone.

He flipped the phone over, then slid one hand down his face. Not his phone.

“Fuck,” he muttered.

[stupid fucking] brooklyn hipster bros | relenaflanel (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Bucky's mother gives him an ultimatum. Bucky doesn't respond well.

All Barneses are stubborn assholes, Steve observes, as though he doesn't see the irony of calling someone else stubborn. Or an asshole.

And Bucky can't even deny he is a total asshole for lying to his mother about dating Steve just so he doesn't have to bring someone else to her wedding, but damn if he's not going to give the lie everything he has.

brought to brightness | eyres (AO3)

cap steve x modern bucky

Army veteran Bucky Barnes has fallen in love with Steve, a guy he met online a few months after he returned from Afghanistan. Only problem is, he doesn't know Steve's last name or even what he looks like.

When his sister helps him send his story into MTV's Catfish, he's hoping they can help him meet Steve or, at least, let him move on with his life if Steve isn't real. Little does he know, Steve and Captain America have more in common than just a first name.

slide to answer | relenaflanel (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

"What do I do?” Steve appealed into the phone. “I’m freaking out.”

There was silence on the other end of the line. It lasted so long that Steve pulled the receiver away from his ear and frowned at it. Pay phones were old. Maybe this one wasn’t working despite the obvious dial tone when he picked up.

“Ok,” a stranger’s voice said over the phone. “First acknowledge the fact that you dialed the wrong number, but be quick about it because my cab is a few blocks away from my own plans and I’m about to drop some truth bombs on you.”

how to woo the winter soldier | writeonclara (AO3)

steve x bucky

“I think I’m ready to date again,” Steve said.

“What,” Natasha said.

“What?” Clint said, lowering his binoculars. He blinked at the dumbstruck look on the Captain’s face, then followed his gaze to where he was staring dopily at—at the Winter fucking Soldier.

“Steve, no,” Clint groaned.

Or: Steve courts the Winter Soldier.

all these things that i’ve done | @not-withoutyou 

steve x bucky

Steve was the patron saint of waiting too long. Bucky was atoning for his sins. Maybe they’d both been forsaken, abandoned by the light. Maybe they’d find a way back to each other again.

Post civil war, if things had gone differently.

find a way (to make it back home) | belwrites (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (college au)

Fresh off a year abroad, Head Resident Assistant Steve Rogers finds his senior year of college to be full of changes, and he's not just talking about the growth spurt. He's more concerned with the fact that his best friend...isn't talking to him? Is dating his ex? May or may not be missing an arm?

In which Steve has no fucking clue what's going on, but he's trying, Bucky learns how to communicate with his best friend again, and everyone quietly panics about the future.

is it pretending if i already want you? | OhCaptainMyCaptain (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Based on prompt: Pretend Boyfriends AU where one of their families is always wondering why they're never in a relationship, so the other offers to pretend to be their boyfriend for some family event

the roommate | layersofart, Niitza (AO3)

cap steve x modern bucky

In which Steven G. Rogers, a.k.a. Captain America, gets a roommate. Who rapidly turns into his "roommate"—in the euphemistic sense of the word.

It takes SHIELD and the rest of the Avengers an absurd amount of time to notice.

dear mr. postman | odetteandodile (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve and Bucky revive an old friendship, get married (but totally just as friends, for reasons), and navigate a few of the many trials of the heart that come with falling in love with your best friend.

fate will play us out | steveandbucky (AO3) (18+)

cap steve x modern bucky

Bucky has landed himself a job with Stark Industries. He doesn't know yet that the job is actually being the PR manager for the Avengers.

Bucky has also started dating Steve Rogers. He also doesn't know yet that Steve is Captain America.

Bucky's life is about to get a whole lot more exciting.

the avengers hate club | notebooksandlaptops (AO3)

pop star steve x modern bucky

Bucky falls hopelessly for Steve and starts an Avengers hate club with the lead singer of the Avengers.

songbird | chicklette (AO3) (18+)

modern steve x musician bucky

At 43, James Barnes is a washed up old man. He’s got a dozen Grammys in the hall closet, an agent that can’t get him a deal, a decade-old case of writer’s block, a moody teen-aged daughter, and the gorgeous actress Natasha Romanova for an ex-wife. Well, one of them anyway. He’s a man who’s given up on finding joy in his life, and if it wasn’t for his kid, he’d have probably found a way to quit the world a long time ago.

Enter Steven Grant Rogers, struggling twenty-something, orphan, and someone who has no idea who Barnes is, other than some musician his mom liked a lot. The two men meet by accident, doing nothing more than passing the time in a quiet bar. But when a pap gets a shot of the two men embracing, Bucky takes it as a chance to finally come out as bisexual, and his agent makes him a proposition: Ten new songs and one very sweet boyfriend will get him a new record deal that will maybe, just maybe put him back on top.

Now all he has to do is write the songs, convince the kid, and not fall in love. Should be easy, right?

the right partner | LeeHan (AO3) (18+)

cap steve x ws bucky

Steve meets a beautiful man with a bright laugh on a sunny day in Italy. Captain America meets the elusive Winter Soldier moments later.

Date Bucky Barnes. Defeat the Winter Soldier. Bring down Hydra. How hard could it be?

#stucky fic #stucky fic recs #steve x bucky #steve rogers x bucky barnes #stucky #bucky barnes #steve rogers

[simpz-art-stash]

Late beginnings

Summary: Mac goes out for a drink, and happens upon some advice he takes into consideration about his skewered relationship with Wukong. Before finally taking some action to mend the long burnt bridge. (Author’s note: I barely did any beta reading for this so if it’s worded strangely that’s just how I write without the normal filter on. I’m country so HOWDY) Next Page ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- The night was late, but he didn’t care, he might as well have been nocturnal with the way his whole life revolved around the whole stereotype of shadows and shit. He’d walked into a bar he’d passed through a few times before, donning his human disguise of course beforehand, and walked in without sparing anyone else a glance. Before planting his rear in one of the stools seated at the front bar, ordering a drink to get the night started. “I’m really looking forward to seeing that new Monkey King movie with the trailer they just released. You saw it too right?? The whole style of the film is on par with their most recent game- OH, you think they’re gonna make a game of it?? I bet you they wiiiill!~” Ugh, great, just what he’d come here to avoid.

Mac’s eyes glanced to the blabbermouth boasting about whatever new movie was being made about his ex, to see two girls residing a ways down near the other end of the bar a few seats away from him. Both looking to have had a fair night themselves already if any of the cups and plates hanging around their spot was anything to go by. “Probably. I hope it’s better than last game that came out on the Brick 360, the bugs in that thing were gross to deal with.” Their friend commented back. Before looking down at their phone and claiming that it was getting late and that they had to go. “Yeah I’ll see ya Monday!” The chick waved their friend off a lazy farewell after they’d paid their bill before going back to their drink, now taking less tedious sips as the mood seemed to smooth out from their conversation prior. “I see someone’s a pretty big fan of that ol’ man.” Macaque piped up from where he sat, earning the attention of the stranger he’d directed his comment towards. “The Monkey King yeah?” Sparks danced in the chick’s eyes at the recognition of the name, before the stranger perked up and beamed a smile back at him, “You betcha! I’m a total nerd for that legend.” ‘A legend, hah.’ “S’the whole reason I moved to China in the first place.” She jabbed a thumb at her chest, “All the way from America!” Mac whistled, “That’s a pretty far leap to take, even for a legend. What, you hopin’ you’ll get the chance to see em’ or somethin’?” He sneered, taking his glass and lazily swirling it in his hand. “I wish!” She laughed, “Nah I mostly just moved here for work. If anything though it’s cuz a them for where I am now. I’d never even heard of him till about five years ago!” Mac blinked, lowering his drink from his lips, “You’re joking…”

“Not at all! No one hardly knows the story back home. Only reason I found out was cuz I just started gettin’ into anything monkey-related as a hobby.” She pointed at him, “Don’t laugh either, it’s a wildly popular standpoint to have these days online.” Mac quirked a brow at that, he’d hardly touched the internet these days save for whenever he needed some quick info on something he couldn’t find elsewhere. He held his hands up, “Hey I ain’t judging…” He smirked a little to betray the look that he totally was though. It was kinda funny how ironic it was him being there right then. She squinted at him, “Anyways...Yeah, I’d seen stuff of him online, but I’d never paid much attention to it up until recently.” “What made you change your mind?” Mac boredly probed, taking a sip. She simply shrugged, “I was in a dark headspace, guy made me laugh.” He paused, “Wait, seriously??” “I mean have you HEARD half the crazy shit he’s done??” ‘Babe I’ve LIVED through half the shit he’s done.’ “Like, literally, the guy is HILARIOUS. My favorite story out of them all being one where he literally tricked THREE taoist immortals into drinking his own piss!!” She burst out laughing while Mac choked on his drink a little, not having expected to hear that of all things. Sure he’d heard a few of the shenanigan’s his peaches had gotten up to throughout his journey to the west but he’d never heard that one before. Nor had he the patience to read through all that mess of context that had been published either. “Ahhh man, it still gets me…” The chick sighed with a few leftover laughs as she wiped a tear from her eye. “What about you? What’s your favorite story?” She asked. And suddenly Mac felt like he’d been put on the spot as he stared back at her. “Come ooon, surely there’s one that’s gotten your gut rolling.” She pried. ‘Plenty, but there ain’t no way in hell I’d tell a soul.’ “Bahh...there ain’t the first one that comes to mind that I’d like. Honestly I’m not even much of a fan.” He waved his hand dismissively. “Whaaat?? Aw come on! There’s tons of cool n’ funny stories!” “Heh..can’t imagine what you find so charming about a guy who’s too good for his own friends.” Mac spitefully twacked himself mentally for spewing something so personal like that out. Ugh, and he hadn’t even finished half his drink yet… The chick sitting to his left seemed to tilt her head a little before she squinted at him. Her silence being what brought his attention from his drink to her as he blinked back with a quirked brow. “What?” “Your eyes, they’re like raging storm clouds.” She pointed out. He blinked, not really sure how to feel about that. The only one who’d ever really pointed that out to him before was… “...So?” “Nothing!...” She shrugged, turning back away towards her own drink as if no conversation at all had happened between them. Whatever...he had his fill of shit to drink to either way. The night might’ve been late but he was just getting started. “He makes me laugh though.” She pointed out, earning her a glance. “All his stories n’ stuff. If there was ever a man I’d want, it’d be one who could always make me laugh.” “Hmph, not one for strength?” He took a long sip. Ignoring the bitterness of others fawning over someone he’d come to love before he’d gotten so popular. “Strength is fine n’ all, but it can only take a relationship so far..you gotta have more pieces to put in that crockpot of a relationship if you wanna make it taste good. Stuff like patience, honesty, a little bit of everything to help it all come together to make it juuuuust right.” “Hm…” “It can’t be all just you putting the stuff in there either, it’s gotta be a contribution from both gardens. Otherwise you’ll just barren your lands and be left with nothing to spare yourself or others in your life with.” She glanced at Mac, “Relationships are tricky like that, but they should always be a 50/50 split~” She winked. That...actually sounded like pretty sound advice. Something he’d heard a little here and there before but never so simply laid out. Though it made sense from his standpoint, fairness n’ all that. But he’d been that way with Wukong before and it had never worked out, all the bickering and such, so what had gone wrong? “Can I...ask you something?” Mac inquired. “Shoot.” “What’re your thoughts on..a relationship that seemed fine, but then the other changed so much that everything about it fell apart?” “Mmm...care to sprinkle in a lil more context?” The chick eyed him. Mac’s face scrunched up a little, no idea why he was asking some random mortal for relationship advice of all things. “Hey man. We’re both probably never gonna meet again after tonight, so if you’ve got skeletons in your closet, your best place to let em’ out is here. Bartenders are known for being the most well kept secret keepers in all the world after all~” She winked at the bartender in question who simply looked the other way with a look that might’ve suggested such a fact as truth. “Hm…” Ah screw it, “Alright alright…” He sighed and put his drink down, “There’s..someone. We used to be real close, we were strong together but then uh..shit got real and he had to go deal with it. But when he came back he uh, wasn’t the same as before, an I might’ve sorta assumed he was cheating on me so…so we kinda fell out.” The chick nodded, “Ahh..the classic misunderstanding of change and cheating, a tale as old as time.” She seemed to hum a moment before she turned from where she was seated, if not to hop down off her stool and plop down on the one right up next to him. “Uh-” “Shhh, lemme see those eyes.” She squinted, leaning in and staring deep into his. It’d would’ve been really unnerving if she hadn’t said anything about them before, now he was a lil put off that he might’ve been asking a witch of all things for advice… “Right. Well, at least you feel bad about it. So there’s that.” He blinked and his brows furrowed, “Wh- of course I feel bad about it, it was his fault-” He suddenly had a finger pressed to his lips. “Nope! Nooononono, you do not get to throw all the blame elsewhere like that sweetheart. There ain’t no way in hell you’re gettin’ a second chance with them if you keep that up.” She pulled her hands back. His face scrunched up and he found himself crossing his arms, if he had his tail out it would’ve been irritably swaying behind him right then at just how annoyed he was getting at this weird lady and her words. “Oh yeah? An what do you think’s best then huh?” “I dunno if you’d be up for that kinda challenge…” She idly fiddled with an imaginative piece of lint off her sleeve, which only seemed to irritate Mac further at the thought of him not being able to handle Wukong of all people. Like sure he’d gotten his ass handed to him before but he could still hold his own! “Try me.” The chick glanced back at him with a smirk, which caught him off guard for a second before he shot her a glare back. “Alright, but it’s definitely not gonna be as quick or easygoing of a recovery as you might hope it’ll be. Nor is there even a chance of you recovering it in the first place. But, you at least got that spark enough to try so who am I to deny?” ‘Hmpt, dam right I got a spark.’

“First of all, no more blaming, if you’re gonna tackle this properly, you gotta do yourselves a favor an quit it with the blame placing. Sure it’s easy, but it ain’t gonna get you nowhere but back to square one. It’s all in the past, the now is now. So push forward to fix it and put it behind you two so you can focus on the more important things.” “Easier said than done…” “Hey man, even if they don’t follow the same ruleset at first you could always work things out to make it one later on. I’m just tellin’ ya right now so you won’t just go diggin’ yourself a deeper hole.” Honestly at this point he was pretty much six feet down under, death to him would’ve been a mercy right then. “Fine…” He rolled his eyes. “Next up, apologizing…” -----------~----------- “I thought I told you to stay off my island.” Mac didn’t really glance back from where he stood high up on one of the breathtaking ledges that which Flower Fruit Mountain bolstered. His arms crossed, eyes sternly held against the leftover warmth of the late afternoon sun as it shifted the skies hues from blue to blood red. Hopefully that would be the only tinge of red the Mountain would see after today. “I know.” “What, no witty remark? Give me one good reason-” “I just wanted to talk.” Mac stated plainly. “Why the hell should I give you the chance?” “...” Mac wasn’t sure if he could come up with a good enough reason after the shitshow he’d caused him the last few centuries, most recent being his spat with him between MK. “I’m sorry.” That seemed to catch the king off guard, as he paused in his vicious glare to stare at the other. “Excuse me??” “I’m.Sorry.” Mac turned finally to Wukong, that look of fiery malice having softened immensely upon meeting their eyes. “I was wrong for what I did and I’m sorry.” Wukong’s face looked like it had had a stroke with how frozen in place it was, almost like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Hurting everyone around you just to get back at you, I was wrong for doing that. And I just wanted to apologize.” Mac’s face twisted a little, the words coming out a little rougher than he’d liked, but he’d managed to get three steps in so far… “If you think a few sorry’s are gonna be enough to make up for all that crap then you gotta nother’ thing comin Mac.” Wukong finally shook off the surprise and crossed his arms with a steely gaze. “Nah I know they ain’t worth shit with as long as it's been...which it’s been..a really, really long time come to think of it..nearly 3000 years…” Fucking yikes. “What’s your point?...” Wukong raised a brow at him. “My point is...my point..” What was his point? To make amends and hope they’d get back together? To go back to the way things were? That couldn’t be done with the way things were now. Wukong had a successor, a moral compass, a lotta shit that Mac didn’t. A lotta shit that he wanted but never could figure out how to get his own. His face scrunched up a little and he sighed, “I..just wanted to make things right.” “Oh-hoh? After so long you finally decided to admit you were at fault? Sorry Mac, but it’s waaaay too late for that.” Wukong huffed, “Honestly, this is probably just another one of your stupid tricks if anything. The old Macaque would never throw himself down like that.” “Well maybe I’ve changed!” Mac exclaimed suddenly, his temper flaring a bit as his eyes flashed lightning. “3000 years later? As if…” Wukong rolled his eyes and turned away, “You’ve still got that same look in your eyes you always do whenever we fight. Do me a favor and just keep away from the hot springs this time yeah? The last time you were here you sent a whole dam boulder over there and smashed half the pools.” He waved his hand dismissively. “And I happen to take my once a month bath’s very seriously.” Mac’s nostrils flared a little at just how flamboyant Wukong was acting towards him and his attempt to make amends. How he just saw his attempt as a joke and nothing more, it pissed him off. Wukong had changed and everyone had accepted him, well not everyone, but still, why couldn’t the same be for him? Had he really fooled himself into believing that there was a chance he and Wukong could be together again? His shoulders slumped a little. Of course, who was he kidding. A 3000 year old pit of grudges wasn’t about to just up and disappear at the wave of a white flag. This was Wukong, the same guy who still playfully pestered the gods and demons around him for past conflicts that had happened between them. -----------~----------- “But you can’t just go, ‘ooo I’m so sorry for what I did.’ Nah, you gotta follow the five steps.” The chick claimed. “Yeesh, this a learning course now?” Mac tilted his head to the side. “It is if you wanna make things right.” She claimed matter a factly. “The five steps have never failed me before and have worked wonders for any an all my relationships. Might not quite have the same range of effect you’re going for but it’ll at least be a good start.” “Heh, you got the guts to back up that case?” Mac sneered. “I will if you don’t manage to screw it up.” The chick pointed out. “The five steps go as follows.” - express sorrow (I’m sorry) - own guilt (I was wrong) - name specific wrongs (I did X) - name impact (I hurt you) “And finally...” -----------~----------- “What can I do to prove myself to you?” Macaque asked finally. “What can I do to at least make it to where we can..not fight anymore..and just talk?...” Wukong stood there for a long moment, his features unreadable as their silence was muffled by the wind bellowing between them both from being so high up. “You really are serious about this aren’t you?...” Wukong’s head shifted ever so slightly, but not enough to where Mac could get a reading on his emotions. “I’m tired of fighting and waiting and thinking that if enough time passes things’ll go back to the way they were...when they never will. Trying to hurt you isn’t gonna make the old you come back, no matter how many times you beat me down...It’ll never be the same.” Mac admitted finally. A quiet gust settled down between them, before Wukong seemed to let out a dry chuckle and shook his head. “Can’t believe it took me 3000 years to beat the sense into you.” He turned and looked back at the other, where he no longer held a look of seething hate, but more akin to that of the same tired look just as the one Mac wore. Mac felt a sliver of guilt wriggle its way into one of the cracks of his heart and he glanced away, pulling a hand back and scratching his head. “Yeah well...your kid hit me pretty hard last time, enough to knock it in place.” A small smile crept a little onto his face. “Hm~ He’s gettin’ pretty good at hittin’ stuff with that old stick.” Wukong’s eyes glinted a little at the appeal of how proud he was for MK having taken Mac out the way he did. A little over the top and flashy, just like him.” “He’s got a pretty strong master to thank for that…” Mac found himself yearning a little for that same glint to be reflected on his memory the same way as MK’s. Not that he couldn’t see himself holding the same appeal for MK the way Wukong did, kid was strong, just a lil desperate in some of the cracks that shaped his outline. Something Macaque found that was easy enough to take advantage of, and something Wukong held a blind eye to. “Hm.” Wukong’s reply pushed him out of those thoughts for the moment as they shared a brief look between one another. A glimmer of reconsideration flashing between the two before Wukong finally turned his head away to drink in the sunset before them. “One chance.” Mac felt his heart nearly stop at that answer. “I’ll give you one chance, but if you screw this up, don’t even think about showing your face to me again.” Wukong replied, “I mean it this time…” Mac swallowed a little and nodded. Anything, he’d be willing to do anything to gain back what little trust he could from Wukong. “Good...you can start making up for it by apologizing to MK.” Mac blinked and sputtered a little as Wukong turned away and began to make his way back down the mountain. A smile playing on his lips while Macaque groaned to the heavens about his next trial.

#shadowpeaches #LMK #lego monkie kid #my fics #Sun Wukong #Macaque #AND MEEEEE #BECAUSE I SAID SO #>:3c

[messrmoonyy]

same anon here that asked for the remus returning thing, sorry for the confusion i meant like after he gets back but they aren’t back together yet and there are those few days we’re dora is kinda cold and distant just to protect herself and remus is doing whatever he can :)

My girl Dora ain’t no doormat, no way was she letting him get away with treating her like that and just forgive him immediately. Remus did some grovelling for sure.

Pairing: Remus lupin x Nymphadora Tonks

Warnings: none

You can find all my other writing on my masterlist and remember my ask box is always open, I love any and all requests so please do send them my way!

Tonks woke up to the sound of quiet clattering, a scent of sausages and bacon and eggs. Fresh pastries and pumpkin juice. She opened one eye but the bedroom door was closed still, the other side of the bed as cold as it had been for the last month and a half. Ever since Remus had returned to her he’d been sleeping on the sofa, still trying to even come to terms with being able to look at him in the eye. Never mind sleep beside him. She had said she’d sleep on the sofa at first. It was his home after all, who was she to make him sleep on the sofa in his own home? But he’d insisted she take the bed.

She had deliberated moving to her parents. She knew that would be the eventual outcome anyway, they weren’t exactly in the position for her to just waltz into st Mungos to give birth. But the thought of staying with her mother fussing for longer than necessary wasnt all that appealing. So she had stayed put and waited for Remus. And now he was on the sofa until she finally shifted the last of her hurt.

She still loved him, of course she did. But she couldn’t shake the purely painful feeling of betrayal. He had come back so she guessed she should have been relieved. But it was the fact that he had ran in the first place. The fight had been bitter, his words stinging her like acid, biting at her, beating her down until she felt completely worthless. She’d never heard him say such things. She didn’t know he had it in him. He’d always been such a gentle soul, she’d only heard him raise his voice once or twice. But everyone has a breaking point, everyone snaps. And he had. At her.

She’d never known he could muster words so cruel. Didn’t know his usually gentle face could twist into such hatred. Didn’t know he could look at as if he could barely stand to be within ten feet of her, when he so often only looked at her with adoration.

He’d come back quite literally begging for her forgiveness, down on his knees and finding every and any word he could to try and prove how sorry he was. She had let him back because she loved him. Because she was carrying their child. But she hadn’t forgiven him. And she wasn’t about to anytime soon she guessed. No matter how hard he was trying to win her back around.

He kept leaving her gifts, there was a constant supply of fresh flowers for her every morning. She had ignored them at first, leaving them on the kitchen counter to wilt and die. He’d started placing them in a vase now. Sometimes it was breakfast- like it seemed to be that morning from the smell. Fresh pastries on the pillow when she went to bed, chocolate frogs in her sock drawer, copies of the quibbler because she liked the comic pages, the list was never ending. She couldn’t lie that she liked his grovelling, it was really the least he could do after all he’d said to her. And she felt she deserved to have him pay for what he’d done.

She sat up in bed and sighed to herself, glancing over at the small box beside the bed that held her wedding ring. She’d thrown it in his face the night he’d left her, it landing somewhere at their feet in the front garden. She’d not even been sure on where it had landed. It had appeared on her pillow a few days after Remus had come back and she wondered if he’d actually taken it with him when he ran. Or if he’d just searched for it when he returned. She’d shoved it in the box and not touched it since. She wished she could’ve gone back to the wedding day. He’d been so happy. She’d been so happy. Her mother would’ve hated the wedding, but that had made almost a little more enjoyable. It wasn’t even the slightest part traditional.

A tiny church in what felt like the coldest part of Scotland going. Some strangers they’d met a few hours before in a local pub as witnesses, no big crowds of guests. No fancy white dress. She’d worn her boots and the nicest dress she could find in her wardrobe back home. Her bouquet had been some flowers nicked from someone’s front garden, one of which she’d pinned to Remus. It wasn’t perfect in anyone else’s eyes, but it was to her. To him. They’d shared their own vows, been bound together by magic and love and hope. They’d danced all night, stayed up until the sun rose sat up on a cliff over looking the sea. And of course the stumbled walk back to their B&B over the pub, the event that had inevitably created the tiny person residing inside her now. And that was that.

But the Remus that had shouted at her, told her that they had no choice but to her rid of the abomination they had created… that didn’t feel like the Remus she had married. She didn’t recognise that man. That wasn’t her Remus. That wasn’t the man she loved, had married, had given up everything for. He was a stranger to her.

She got dressed then, not wanting to fall into the hole of longing for Remus again and put herself in a bad mood, before leaving the bedroom. Remus was stood in the kitchen and smiling at her as she opened the bedroom door. The bedroom was the only place in the house that offered her privacy, the rest being tiny and open plan. She spent most of her time in there just lately and thankfully for her, he often left her to it. The bedroom being almost out of bounds to him. He hadn’t stepped foot in there since coming back.

“ good morning Dora “ he greeted quietly and she shook her head at him, raising a hand and pointing at his face.

“ no. I told you already. You don’t get to call me that now “ he looked down at the floor for a moment and nodded. He looked like a kicked puppy but she told herself she didn’t care. He deserved to hurt like she had. He did.

“ right. I’m sorry. Tonks “ he cleared his throat awkwardly and gestured to the table “ I. I have breakfast for you. I have to nip out to the Weasleys for a while but there’s more food in the fridge for you if that isn’t to your liking “ she sniffed and turned her head away from the table. She didn’t know why but his kindness just made her mad. Like a switch flicked inside of her.

“ and you’ll return this time? Or planning another week away? “ he sighed and ran a hand through his hair “ need another chat with Harry so you? Listen to a child’s advice but not your own wife right? “

“ Dora ple- “

“ no! “ she hadn’t completely intended to shout but she had. She closed her eyes, balling her hair into fists and tried to get rid of her sudden lack of calm. She could feel angry tears burning behind her eyelids and she blamed her messed up hormones. She refused to cry in front of him again. Refused to show the hurt he was still causing her weeks after her left “ just. Just go the Weasleys. Go on “ he hesitated for a moment and gave a small nod.

He knew better than to argue with her now. Knew it would get him no where.

“ just. Please make sure you eat something. It’s not good for the b- “

“ don’t stand there and pretend you care “ she snapped “ don’t “

“ Tonks I do. I do care I have apologised I don’t know what else I- “

“ if you cared you wouldn’t have left “ there was silence then. So quiet it was almost painful. But she felt like twisting the knife, plunging it deeper and drawing out as much agony as she could. She wanted him to hurt like she had, to feel the pieces of his heart shatter inside his chest, splinter his lungs so it felt as though no air could reach him. Make him feel how she had “ I am only here because unfortunately for me. You are the father of my baby. I don’t care how much you apologise. I will never forgive you Remus Lupin. Never “

The words burnt her own throat as she spoke them, and regret seeped into her chest. But she stayed firm. Refused to cry. Refused to feel guilty. He deserved it.

She had clearly struck a nerve. His eyes swam with pain, his hands hanging limply at his side. Defeated. Hurt. She’d won that round.

“ I don’t know how many time I can apologise “ he said weakly “ I know it’ll never come close to repairing what I did but- “

“ please. Just go to the Weasleys “ she said with a sigh and turned away from him as her tears finally fell. She didn’t want him to see. She closed her eyes. gripping onto the kitchen counter so her knuckles turned white. She heard movement behind her and the front door opening.

“ please make sure you eat “ he said softly before the front door closed and she dropped down to her knees, letting her tears run freely. Her body wracked with sobs

————————-

When Remus had been on the sofa for 2 months, and Tonks was finally starting to pass the phase of just looking a little fat, to actually looking pregnant, nearing her 4th month. She had started to become a little more forgiving. She had started to sit with him at breakfast again, didn’t shut down every single conversation he tried to start with her, sat beside him when he read by the fire in the evenings. Though she always left a fair space between them.

She found she’d started to miss him greatly. Trying to deal with how much her body was changing on her own wasn’t exactly the most fun thing. Remus was still piling her with as much affection as he could, even though she still wasn’t particularly receptive to it. But she had to admire his determination.

“ Nymphadora. I was wondering if I could have a word “ she turned to face him as she toed off her boots, having only just gotten home from a trip to see her parents “ please. If you would “ she hung up her jacket and nodded, walking over to him as he gestured towards the table where a small yellow gift bag was sat.

She sat down at the small table, it had an old copy of the prophet folded up under one leg to stop it from wobbling, but it still moved slightly when she picked up the gift bag.

“ you can’t buy my forgiveness “ she stated, not looking inside the bag “ I told you that already Remus. I can’t be bought “ he gave a small nod, clasping his hands tighter.

“ yes. I know. I do. Just- please “ he nodded towards the bag and she hesitated but sighed before pulling at the ribbon and pulling out the tissue paper. She froze when her figures fell upon a soft cotton and she realised what was in the bag. She pulled it out, dropping the bag to the floor “ I wasn’t- I wasn’t sure on the size or- it’s like Hufflepuff, you see? Of course I couldn’t get an official one. It was a muggle shop and I had to be quite quick I didn’t want to risk anything. I mean I had options of course but- “

“ Remus “ she cut him off. It was a babygrow. It was a pastel green with a badger embroidered on the chest. It was the first piece of clothing their child had. She hadn’t exactly had the best of opportunities to go shopping down Diagon alley for some herself.

“ Dora “ he tried her nickname again for the first time in weeks and this time she didn’t chastise him for it “ I know I’ll never be able to take back what I said. But as I told you when I returned. I had time to think. And these past months I’ve been thinking too “ he reached out gingerly for her hand and when she didn’t pull away he gently took it in both of his “ all I ever wanted was a normal life. A normal family. And now… now I have that chance. With the woman I love and. And our child “

“ and what if he’s not… ‘ Normal ‘. If he’s different. I’d hes half werewolf. Or full. Or. In between “ she was getting a little tense with her words again and she tried her best to remain calm. She was finally getting a truthful and meaningful opinion from Remus on the matter. She should be thankful for that. Even with the betrayal still poking the back of her mind occasionally.

“ then I’ll love him all the same. He’ll be could be born with four legs and 5 arms, two heads. No magic at all. I’d still love him. Because we made him Nymphadora. You and I. And I…. I never thought I’d get that. I never believed I’d be a father. A husband. Now I have that opportunity and I see how much of a fool I was to try and throw that away “ he squeezed her hand gently, his thumb rubbing circles over her knuckles in a soothing way. She knew him well enough to know when he was lying to her. And he wasn’t now.

“ let’s deal with the possible moon situation before we worry about any extra limbs shall we? “ she said with a small smile and watched as he seemed to relax every muscle in his body, his worries that she wouldn’t accept his apologies slipping away “ I won’t forgot what you said to me. And to him “ she placed her free hand on her stomach as she spoke “ but you’re his dad. Nothing is going to change that. And the world really fucked up right now. Like. Really. And so we have to protect him. Love him more than we can even think about “ Remus nodded.

She refused to let the world ruin her baby, refused to let him be warped into a life of terror and fear. Of feeling outcast and alone like his father had. Remus stood up then and knelt down in front of her.

“ I love you Nymphadora. And I love him… or her “ she smiled slightly as he placed a gentle hand over hers that was still cradling her bump. Remus’ acceptance suddenly made it feel all the more real. In just 4 months they’d have a baby. A real one. Screaming and crying and laughing. A most innocent thing born into a world on the brink of disaster. And somehow her and Remus had to keep him safe. And kind. And loved. They weren’t exactly the most functional of couples so it was no doubt that their family wouldn’t be either. But they’d make it work. They would.

Werewolf or not.

—————————————-

It was another week after that that she finally caved. The talk had most definitely been the turning point. And she’d kissed him again that evening for the first time in months. Was actually letting him touch her again without recoiling. Though he was still on the sofa.

Though December had well and truly arrived. The cold weather setting her into an almost constant chill, the old cottage not offering much in terms insulation. And she missed having him wrapped around her. He was always warm. And didn’t complain when her cold hands found there way under his shirt in the night to warm up. She also just missed him. Just him. Her Remus. The man she’d fallen in love with. She wanted him back beside her, his slow breaths on her neck in the night, his legs tangled with hers. Even the way his facial hair scratched at her when they kissed. She just missed him.

So it was almost no surprise to her when she found herself slipping out of bed, the coldness of the stone floor seeping through her socks and chilling her already numb feet some more. She opened the bedroom door slowly to see if he was awake or not.

He was in the armchair, a book on his lap. Clearly having not planned to sleep there, he’d have a sore neck in the morning that was for certain. She grabbed the blanket from the back of the sofa and silently walked over to him. The fire was crackling in the hearth, immediately warming her up. She moved the book careful not to lose his page, before climbing into his lap in its place. She wrapped the blanket around them, bring her legs up and resting her head on his chest. One more month gone and she didn’t think she’d be able to manage that. She wasn’t the tallest or biggest of people. So her bump was still pretty small. But she loved it all the same.

Remus stirred slightly and made a small noise of confusion to wake up and find Dora on his lap. He opened his eyes fully, his eyelids heavy with sleep.

" Dora? "

" go back to sleep " she whispered and felt him give a small nod as his hand tentatively wrapped around her, like he was still unsure if he was allowed to touch her or not. She snuggled in a little closer to him as if to say it was okay and he fully wrapped around her, pulling the blanket up to her chin. It felt right to be in his arms like that again. They’d snuggled on the sofa the day before. But not as… intimate as this. It felt normal again. Like she belonged there.

" why did you- "

" I was just cold " she cut him off, ignoring the way his raspy sleep filled voice made her melt. She was trying to show that she was still just that little bit mad at him. But she couldn’t deny that she missed him. That yes she was still hurt, that she might always been. But nothing could compare to the amount that of love she had for him. Still. Even after all he’d done. No one would ever come close to the way she felt for Remus Lupin.

" right " She lifted her head for a moment to find he was already looking at her. And she couldn't help herself. Because time was precious now. And she was wasting it being angry all these months later. She slipped a hand up to cup his face before pulling him in to kiss her. He seemed a little surprised at first, his lips frozen for a moment before they opened to capture her own. But she didn't blame him because she was too. She hadn’t planned for that night to be that night she let go of the final part holding her back.

" this isn't me forgiving you " she said against his lips once they pulled apart. Half joking. Half not.

" I know " he seemed quite truthful with that. Like he understood her thinking. Maybe he did.

" good "

" good " she kissed him again and found herself shifting in his lap, slipping a leg either side of him. Because she was mad at him, she was really. But she loved him more. Missed him more. Needed him more. And soon she was unbuttoning his trousers and bunching up her sweatshirt- that was actually his- around her waist, rolling her hips against him until she was panting out his name, gripping the back of the armchair so hard she was surprised she didn’t splinter the wooden frame.

They stayed on the armchair even after Remus had cleaned them up, trying to keep the warmth of the fire in her body, trying to share Remus’ own body heat.

" Remus " she said when she was certain he was just dropping off, her head against his chest. Heading his heart beating felt like home. The familiar sound she had so often fallen asleep to. Comforting.

" I know. This isn't you forgiving me " he mumbled, hurt tinging his words.

" actually I was going to say that I love you "

" oh. Oh right... I love you too. You know I do " his arms tightened slightly around her and she let herself calm to the sound of his heart. She waited again until she felt him slackening with sleep to speak again, a slight mischief in her tone.

" oh and Remus? This isn't me forgiving you "

#messrmoonyy writes #bit longer than normal! but I loved this prompt so much! #remus lupin #nymphadora tonks #remadora #harry potter #remus x tonks #ronks #the marauders #lupin #tonks x lupin #tonks #remus x nymphadora #Dora lupin #remadora one shot #deathly hallows #one shot

[my-soul-sings]

kiss the girl: ch 2

Fandom: Tears of Themis Characters: Artem x Reader

Summary: Armed with a trusty book, Artem Wing attempts to win the woman of his dreams.

ch 1 | ch 2

*** 

“Surprise her with flowers.”

Artem has skipped to the second half of the book where the practical suggestions are, because he doesn’t have the patience to carefully read the lengthy explanations of the “psychology of love”. The practical tips are simple enough, but the explanations following each of them are unnecessarily long and repetitive.

Ignoring those, he highlights the ones that stand out—those that sound more doable for him, at least.

The first one he notices is a classic: flowers. Of course. He’s done it before actually—he’d given her a bouquet of garden cosmos because she told him that she liked them. She didn’t really show much of a reaction back then, but he recalls the warm smile it had put on her face for the rest of that day. He doesn’t mind seeing it again. 

But, would it be boring to do the exact same thing? Maybe he can change it up slightly… If he recalls correctly, the book said something about how to send a bouquet of flowers in a way that will “keep her on her toes”. 

It doesn’t take long for him to scan the book and find the relevant page. However, as he goes over the detailed suggestion, his brows gradually turn downwards into a frown. 

“Will this really work...” he mumbles to himself, pressing a finger to his temple. Frankly, it sounds unnecessarily cliched and cumbersome… not to mention embarrassing. No doubt, if Celestine catches wind of this, she won’t let him live it down.

But, he supposes, if he’s going to take relationship advice from a book, then he might as well go through with it fully. 

Having made up his mind, Artem picks up his phone and begins typing up a draft message. 

***

You’ve barely stepped into the office when you hear Kiki calling your name in an unusually high-pitched voice. Your first thought is that she’s managed to get tickets for the upcoming concert for her favourite idol group.

But then you arrive at your desk and realise a marked change from how you had left it the night before: your usually clean and neat desk now has a large bouquet of garden cosmos placed right in the middle of it.

Artem’s is the first name that comes to mind, but you dismiss the thought quickly. With his shy and reserved personality, it’d be strange to expect him to send you flowers out of the blue. 

Your sharp eyes don’t miss the little pink rectangular card sticking out from the side of the bouquet. Kiki spots it at the same time as you do, and her eyes widen with a playful gleam, not even trying to be subtle with the way she’s leaning over to you, to take a peek at the message.

With a cheeky smile, you lean away from her too, deliberately hiding the card from her view, which only makes Kiki kick up a fuss about wanting to see too. Thankfully, Celestine isn’t in the office yet. You don’t think you can deal with two overly-enthused friends this early in the morning.  

Ignoring Kiki’s protests, you open the folded card to read it. As it turns out, there’s not much to hide from her. The message is a simple and curt one:

I hope this makes you smile. Have a good day.

“There’s no signature,” you remark, handing the card to Kiki who practically lunges for it. Her disappointment at the short message is obvious. “Why would someone give you flowers without signing off on it?”

“Maybe they forgot?” you venture, although you carefully search the bouquet in case you missed something else.

“Don’t tell me… Did you send this to yourself?”

You’re unable to hold in your laughter at the absurd idea, and the both of you simultaneously burst into giggles. Just then, your finger feels the edge of another piece of paper hidden between the wrapping paper. You pull it out, and it’s just a small, square card with the letter ‘M’ written on it in fancy, embellished lettering.

“Maybe it’s the first letter of his name?” Kiki suggests. “Who do you think it’s from?”

The letter ‘M’... You don’t know that many people whose name starts with that letter, and a familiar face is already coming to mind—he’s the only one who would pull a stunt like this, especially after you told him specifically a few days ago that you did not want him to send flowers to you, and especially not to your workplace. You don’t want to be teased by your colleagues and worse, Artem might get the wrong idea if he sees it.

“I think I might know who the culprit is…”

With a clenched fist, you pull out your phone and search up the contact before hitting the ‘call’ button. Kiki is left behind, cleanly forgotten, as you storm out of the office to give the culprit a piece of your mind.

***

When Artem enters the office that morning, the first thing he notices is Celestine and Kiki whispering to each other at the pantry while stealing glances at a certain attorney’s way. He follows their gazes to her desk where she’s seated and doing work as always, although today there seems to be a frown etched onto her face, and the bouquet of flowers are nowhere to be seen.

He panics for a moment, wondering if something had gone wrong with the delivery, but then he notices the wrapping peeking out from underneath the table when he walks past her desk and heads towards the pantry, where her two friends are obviously talking about her behind her back—literally.

“What’s going on?” he asks in a low whisper after exchanging morning greetings with them. “Did something happen?”

Celestine discreetly points in the direction of their sulking friend with a grimace. “She’s been like this ever since she got the flowers this morning.”

Artem’s brows knit together, and his mouth opens and closes a few times before he finally manages to piece together his thoughts into a coherent sentence. “I thought... she’d be happy to receive flowers.”

“I thought so too,” Kiki nods, “but when I asked if she knew who the sender was, she suddenly got angry. Said she knew who the culprit was and stormed off. Then she came back and she’s been doing work like this ever since.” She finishes her explanation with a drawn-out sigh, and her eyes return to the back figure of the junior lawyer who’s furiously typing away at her computer.

Artem follows her gaze, and nervously swallows a lump that had formed in his throat without him realising. As always, Celestine is annoyingly quick to catch on to what he’s thinking, and she startles him slightly with an elbow nudge to his arm. “Shouldn’t you put your things down in your office? Or are you here for coffee again?”

He’s not even in the mood to humour her right now. With an absent hum, he nods and quietly trudges towards his office.

Once he’s inside and the door is shut, his bag falls to the ground by his desk and his jacket is flung unceremoniously onto the back of his chair before he sinks into it, fingers entangling in his hair.

He’s screwed. Did he send her the wrong flowers? But she said she liked garden cosmos and he had sent her the same flowers before, so that can’t be it.

Then, was it the message? But he took pains to make sure that it was short, simple and pleasant. Or was it because it was too short? Had she been expecting more?

No, no, but Kiki said she got angry after she figured out who the sender was… which meant that she was angry at him. Had he overstepped the boundaries by sending flowers to the office?

That’s probably it. He messed up horribly. Of course she would be upset that her boss sent her flowers to the office—that was inappropriate. Entirely inappropriate. Why didn’t he think this through properly? Stupid, stupid stupid…

He’s so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t even register the sound of knocking on his door. It’s only when he hears his name being called that he looks up, only to meet the gaze of his colleague whom he can’t bear to face right now.

Hastily, he fixes his hair from the crazed pulling and tugging just seconds ago, and sits upright in his chair while eyeing her cautiously. He’d better pick his words wisely here. “Yes?” The word comes out strained, as if he’s choking.

“I’ve completed the draft statement of claim for the Macrosoft employee issue—the one about the breach of restraint of trade clause and the conspiracy claim,” she says, placing a set of papers on his table. “I’ve also completed the legal opinion you requested for the resulting trust analysis on the Williams’ matrimonial property issue, and I will send you the draft affidavit for Mrs Jones’ case by the end of today.”

“Ah. Thank you…” Artem waits for her to say something else, all while scrutinising her face. She doesn’t seem as angry as before—although she does look a little confused when she meets his gaze.

“Did I miss anything?” she asks, already visibly starting to panic.

“N-No, it’s not that...” Should he just apologise right now and avoid letting the issue fester? He’s not sure if he should be happy or unnerved by how perfectly normal she’s acting. Is she not angry anymore? Or is she just doing an exceptional job of holding her anger in? All those reminders he used to give her about maintaining composure in front of clients and in court must have paid off.

“Okay. Then, if there’s nothing else, I’ll go—”

“Wait, just— just a second.” She peers at him curiously as he stands to his feet and walks over to her, all the while refusing to make eye contact with her.

“T-The morning... flowers… you...” For goodness’ sake, he makes a living off speaking before the court, and yet here he is, reduced to the equivalent of a blabbering toddler in front of his colleague.

“Ah... you saw those?” she looks away, and he sees the frustration from earlier returning to her face.

“You… don’t like them?”

“It’s not that,” she replies, twisting her lips. “It’s just a stupid prank to play on someone.”

“A… stupid… prank?” Each word is like a stab to his chest. Did he do something to give her the impression that he was making fun of her, or playing a joke? Most people think he’s too serious to crack jokes in the first place...

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve settled it with the culprit.”

For the first time in the conversation so far, Artem doesn’t sink further into his internal pool of self-pity. Instead, he’s now genuinely puzzled. “What do you mean?”

“I just called him to tell him to not send me flowers to the office anymore. I’ve told him before, but he really doesn’t listen to people.”

“Who?”

“Marius. You know how he is.”

“You think… Marius… gave you the flowers?”

“Yeah. He kept denying it over the phone, but I know better than to believe him. Who else would send me flowers for no reason?”

She’s staring at him expectantly, as if waiting for him to laugh at her rhetorical question or respond to it in some way.

Artem doesn’t answer. He doesn’t know how, because his mind has drawn a complete blank at this point, save for the one question ringing in his mind:

Where the heck did she get the idea that the flowers were from Marius?

In his stupor, Artem doesn’t realise that the silence in his office has been stretching on for far too long for it to be comfortable. And he doesn’t notice the realisation that clicks in her eyes after a while, until he hears a quiet, “ Oh .”

She sheepishly meets his eyes. “By any chance, was that letter on the card meant to be a ‘W’? As in, ‘Wing’?”

Should he admit it? If he does, will her anger shift to him? Should he just let Marius be the scapegoat and live the rest of his days in quiet atonement and regret?

Artem doesn’t get the chance to admit it, because she easily reads the answer off his very perplexed and obviously guilty expression. Obviously, he’s far better suited to defending criminals than acting like one.

“Are you mad?” he asks her, when she too, falls silent.

“Huh? No, no, of course not. Why would I be?”

“You were angry when you thought Marius sent you flowers.”

“That’s because it’s Marius. But I’m glad the flowers were from you .” Her lips spread into a warm smile, and in that instant, all of Artem’s worries dissolve into thin air. “I love the bouquet, it’s beautiful. Thank you.”

A smile of relief makes its way onto his face, and he nods. “I’m glad you like it.”

So there is some truth to the book that Celestine gave him after all.

In that case… maybe next time, he can send her roses. He hopes he’ll have the occasion to, anyway. For now, he’ll take it one step at a time.

#artem wing #tears of themis #artem fanfiction #artem fanfic #tears of themis fanfiction #tears of themis fanfic #my writing #this is up on AO3 as well if u wanna read it there! #my handle is morninwarri0r #kiss the girl

[surlybobbies]

(here’s a late holiday offering for all of you)

deancas, 2.5k, AU, friends to lovers, baby jack

-----

They stopped at a park on the way back to Dean’s apartment. Baby’s trunk was full of gifts, evidence of a successful Christmas shopping trip, and so it was with satisfaction that Dean leaned against the hood of the car and pulled out his burger from the takeout bag.

Cas was similarly content, and they enjoyed each other’s company in silence for a few minutes as they began their meal. At a nearby jungle gym, children threw snowballs at each other from the little flakes of ice they’d been able to scrape together. Dean tried not to watch them too closely - you could never be too careful - but Cas observed them with a furrowed brow.

Apropos of nothing, he said, “How do parents handle the Santa situation?”

Dean wiped his mouth with a napkin. “What do you mean?”

“When would one begin telling a child about Santa? And how does one deal with the inevitable fallout when they realize he isn’t real?”

Dean’s stomach turned a little bit. “You thinkin’ about kids all of a sudden?”

“Not sure,” Cas said, examining his burger and plucking out a piece of onion with his fingers.

Another silence descended. Dean frowned at his meal, his appetite lost.

Meanwhile, Cas plucked out another onion slice. “I don’t think I believed in Santa,” he said eventually. “But I knew about him. I wish I could remember who first told me the tale.”

“I learned about him when I was in middle school,” Dean admitted. “The first time I stayed at one school for more than a few months. Pretty sure by then I was too old to believe.”

Cas lifted his eyes to the playground again. “No doubt at least a few of these children believe in Santa.” He sucked some stray ketchup off his thumb, and Dean had to look away.

“Good for them,” he said. “They should enjoy being kids.”

“In a few years, maybe even this year, their parents are going to have to admit to their lies.”

“It’s harmless,” Dean replied, waving away Cas’s curious stare. “It’s good for ‘em. Teaches ‘em to question things, question motives. Gets ‘em ready for the adult world of backstabbing and lies.”

Cas smiled at him. It was wide and affectionate. “I thought you said they should enjoy being kids?”

Dean bit down on a reflexive smile. “It’s one little thing, alright? Santa’s like - 1% of the kid experience. They’ve got the other 99% to think about - cooler, more important shit.”

“Like what?”

“Like the shit they do on the daily, y’know? If they can con their parents into letting them have candy for breakfast. Or sneaking down at midnight to have some ice cream. Or building a pillow fort. Or stickers. Or farts.”

“Farts?”

“Kids like farts.”

“No one likes farts.”

“You don’t know kids then.”

Cas conceded with a tilt of his head. “You’re right. Maybe they do enjoy farts.”

They finished their burgers and sipped at their sodas. It was when Dean was returning from the trash can that he saw the wistful look on Cas’s face as he listened to the yells and laughter of the kids. He smacked Cas on the arm. “You good?”

Up close, Dean could see the downturn of Cas’s lips. “Just thinking about the future,” Cas said eventually. When he turned to Dean, he was smiling woodenly.

Dean’s gut turned sour again, and he knew himself better than to blame it on the burger. “So you are thinkin’ about kids.”

Cas looked down at his shoes. “I think I might be.”

Dean ran a hand over his chin, then cleared his throat. “Good for you, man. I think you’d be a good dad.”

Cas looked at him. “And you too. You’d be an amazing father.”

The expression on Cas’s face - sincere, soft, affectionate - made Dean’s throat tight. He laughed too loudly. “Hey, listen, when you do have kids, you can tag me in any time, alright?”

The wistfulness had vanished from Cas’s face. He was smiling. “Agreed. I’ll let you handle the Santa situation.”

-----

Cas started fostering Jack a year later, and it was apparent very early on to Dean that fatherhood was Cas’s calling. Yes, he was always tired, and yes, he didn’t have nearly as much time for Dean as he did before, but Jack was thriving and Cas was happy - and because of that, Dean was happy, even if it meant losing Cas’s attention to fatherhood.

Dean’s disappointment was lessened by the fact that Jack quickly became just as attached to Dean as he was to his foster dad, so if Dean spent a few days a week at Cas’s place to “help out with the baby,” no one questioned his motives.

“You ever going to tell him?” Sam asked one day as he and Dean watched Cas carry Jack around Sam’s garden. Jack was a grabby kid, and Cas was constantly having to stop him from putting flowers in his mouth.

Dean didn’t bother asking what Sam was talking about. “He doesn’t need that on his plate right now.”

Sam raised his eyebrows at Dean, unconvinced. “So when? When he gives Jack up? You and I both know that’s never happening.”

“Then never,” Dean snapped, even though just the thought of holding it all in for one more day made Dean’s chest feel tight.

Sam ran a hand over his mouth like he was trying to stop himself from saying anything else, but Sam was nothing if not nosy. “We both know never’s not an option. It’s gotta be now, Dean. Or if not now, then soon. You’re already playing house with Cas. Plus there’s a kid involved now - a kid who absolutely adores you - so I hate to say it, but if things have to go south, it has to happen before Jack’s any older.”

Dean stared at Sam. “That’s fucked up, Sammy.”

“Don’t act like you didn’t know this already,” Sam said, though his tone was gentle. “I’m just saying out loud what you don’t want to admit.”

Cas was approaching with Jack, so Dean didn’t respond.

“I apologize,” Cas said to Sam. “Jack might have destroyed a few blooms.” He opened his palm and offered the crushed red blooms up for inspection. It could have been Dean’s bloody heart for how much he was hurting.

It was obvious that Sam was still watching Dean out of the corner of his eye, but he spared a smile and a tummy tickle for Jack. “No harm done, little guy.”

-----

Dean knew Sam was right, knew that for Jack’s sake, his two de facto parents needed to be on the same page about what they were to each other - but there was never a good time to bring it up. Was Dean supposed to just spill his heart out onto the dining room table with Jack’s sliced fruit? He contemplated asking Sam for advice, but 1) Dean did not want nor would he accept any pity from his little brother and 2) Sam was busy getting ready for his wedding.

So Dean, Cas, and Jack went on with their lives - separate but hopelessly intertwined, and all Dean could do was lie awake at night hoping that when the time came, he’d be able to make sense of the mess of tangled knots they’d created.

-----

Jack made the cutest ring bearer. Cas was a groomsman, but he’d asked to escort Jack up the aisle, and Sam and Eileen had loved the idea. Dean had loved the idea too, mostly because he knew he wouldn’t have been able to stomach the sight of Cas walking down the aisle in his smartly-tailored suit, arm-in-arm with Eileen’s cousin Sara. In the moment, however, Dean loved the idea simply because Cas was incandescent, smiling widely down at Jack, holding Jack’s hand as the toddler took his too-big, unsteady steps down the garden path.

At the end of the walk, when Cas had deposited Jack safely with Gabriel in the front row, he took his place by Dean’s side.

Dean couldn’t help but smile at him, helpless with affection. “I’m happy for you, Cas,” he said, just as the guests stood up to welcome the bride.

Cas ducked his head bashfully, but he put a hand on Dean’s back in acknowledgment. “Thank you.”

-----

Cas cornered him at the reception, where Dean was lurking at the edges of the dance floor. “Can we talk?” he said, leaning in to be heard over the music.

Dean had two servings of whiskey in him. “Always, Cas.”

Cas looked him oddly, but he said nothing. He led Dean away from the reception tent (where Gabriel and Garth were taking turns to dance with Jack in their arms) and stopped when they were far enough away to hear each other without yelling.

Cas was pink-cheeked from champagne, his hair was a mess, and Dean was so in love with him it hurt. “What do you need?” he asked, because concentrating on what Cas needed kept Dean from focusing on what Dean wanted.

“I thought I should tell you before it gets any farther in the proceedings - I’ve started the formal process of adopting Jack.”

Dean’s heart was full to bursting. He swallowed down a sudden urge to cry. “That’s great news, man,” he said, pulling Cas into a rough hug. “Congratulations!”

Cas’s arms wrapped tight around Dean, his chin hooked over Dean’s shoulder. There was a telltale sniff at his ear, so Dean just held on tighter to his best friend.

When Cas drew away a minute later, his nose was red. He kept his hands at Dean’s elbows. “I’ve asked so much of you already - “

“Stop right there,” Dean said, shaking his head, “because that’s not true. Whatever I did, I did because I wanted to. Because I’d do anything for that kid.”

Cas looked at Dean so tenderly it made Dean’s throat tight. “And I’m so grateful for that, Dean. You’ve been the best support I could have asked for.” Cas looked down, his eyebrows furrowing. The hands at Dean’s elbows tightened. “But I have to ask of you one more thing.”

There was no universe out there where Dean would have refused Cas anything. “Spit it out, Cas.”

“If something were to happen to me,” Cas said, eyes brimming, “would you take him in?”

Dean took hold of Cas’s elbows too, a reassurance that Cas was still there in front of him, still alive, still breathing. “Cas, you’re going to be kicking for a long time. Jack will have grandbabies before you check out.”

Cas smiled softly. He indulged Dean. “Still, if I should go before you - “

Helpless, absolutely wrecked, Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Sammy had just gotten married to the best woman on Earth a few hours prior. A few yards away, the people Dean loved were dancing to “The Cha-Cha Slide.” And now Cas was asking Dean to take on the biggest honor of his life in the same sentence that Cas was talking about his inevitable death. Dean’s eyes welled up.

Cas touched Dean’s face for a brief moment. “I’m sorry to do this to you.”

Dean swiped at his eyes stubbornly. “Cas, I meant it when I said I’d do anything for that kid. If he ever loses you, he’s going to have me. Don’t even think about apologizing for that.”

“Thank you,” Cas said. There were tears on his cheeks too. “That makes me feel less scared of the future.”

Dean sniffed. He straightened Cas’s tie. “But hey, no takebacks, alright? Even if you go and get yourself hitched, I’m not giving Jack up.”

Cas’s mouth lifted at the corner, but Dean knew it was just for show. “I don’t think marriage is in the cards for me, Dean,” Cas admitted.

It was the way Cas looked at him that made Dean remember what Sam had said a few months before. If Dean was ever going to say something, it had to be right at this moment.

“Listen, Cas,” Dean said, clearing his throat, “now that we know Jack’s gonna be sticking around, you should know something.”

The hands at Dean’s elbows tightened again. “Tell me,” Cas said, his eyes growing worried. He stepped closer, studying Dean’s face.

Dean was crying again, and he despised it. “I’m in love with you,” he said. He was terrified, anxious, and angry with himself at the same time. “So if that changes things - if you want me to fuck off and never talk to you or Jack again - now’s the time to tell me.”

Cas took a shaky breath. He cradled Dean’s face. “My love,” he murmured, eyes warm though they were still brimming with tears. “Love of my life.”

Dean almost laughed. Incredulous, he asked, “What? Who, me?”

Cas kissed him. It tasted like salt, and Dean was still crying, and honestly he had no idea what was happening, but Cas was patient with him, kissing his cheek when Dean did nothing but stare.

He drew back after the first few seconds, smiling despite Dean’s shock. “Yes, you,” he confirmed. His hands went to Dean’s tie. His voice was thick when he spoke again. “So no, in case it isn’t obvious, I do not want you to ‘fuck off.’”

This had not been what Dean was expecting. Tentatively, he touched Cas’s face, just a brush of fingers against Cas’s cheek, not bothering to hide his amazement when Cas smiled at him.

“Kind of slow on the uptake,” Cas said. His nose was still pink. “Maybe I should be in charge of Jack’s studies.”

It hit Dean all at once. Cas was his. Jack was his. Everything he’d ever wanted in this world was his. He kissed Cas properly this time.

-----

They returned to the reception a few minutes later. Eileen, upon seeing Cas’s glossy eyes and pink nose, instinctively grabbed a butter knife to throw at Dean’s throat, but Sam tugged her arm down and pointed at Dean and Cas’s joined hands.

The pair mingled with the guests hand-in-hand for most of the night, only letting go to pick up Jack and swing him between them.

Later on, in the parking lot, with Jack asleep in his car seat and buckled safely in the back seat of the Impala, Cas turned to Dean, who had his arm around Cas’s waist.

Cas smiled at him. He said two words: “Marry me.”

Dean didn’t know how he had any tears left in him. “Jesus. Give a guy a break,” he said, his voice cracking.

“Earlier I said marriage wasn’t in the cards for me,” Cas explained, smiling widely, apparently pleased that he was making Dean cry so much. “I don’t want you to misunderstand - it’s in the cards if it’s you.”

Dean touched his forehead to Cas’s, so happy he could barely get any words out. “Cas, you know it’s a yes.”

-----

Jack was five years old and came home from kindergarten with a coloring sheet of Santa. Cas looked at Dean, mouth thin. “I’m tagging you in,” he said, then left the room.

“Can we see Santa at the mall, dad?” Jack asked, tongue between his teeth as he scribbled with his crayon.

Dean put a hand on Jack’s back. “Sure, bud,” he said. “You can tell him what you want for Christmas.”

He pulled out his phone. You’re dealing with the tooth fairy, he texted Cas.

Fine. You talk to him about the Easter Bunny then.

-----

Hope you liked it! I only ask that you do me one favor if you did - go and read my most recent fic on ao3 - I posted it at a dumb time and wish more people could see it. 

#destiel #deancas #destiel fic #deancas fic #holiday fic #friends to lovers #kc fic

[dustedmagazine]

Listening Pest: The Worst of 2021

None of us got into music writing to hate the music.  No, we’re appreciators mostly. We choose our own records, and so, rarely come into contact with albums that truly irritate us. When it happens, it’s easy enough to set them aside. Why focus on the negative?

That said, however, when list season comes around, we often find ourselves confronted with highly-regarded records that—well, let’s just put it bluntly: they piss us off. And because of that and because nothing is more satisfying than a good slam, we present the worst of 2021. We even provide audio clips, but take our advice. Don’t use them.

Contributors include Ray Garraty, Jennifer Kelly, Bill Meyer, Jonathan Shaw, Ian Mathers, Patrick Masterson and Andrew Forell.

Babyface Ray — Unfuckwitable (Deluxe Edition) (Wavy Gang)

The deluxe version is an expansion of the Unfuckwitable EP which means a double amount of mediocre music. Yet Babyface Ray remains among the artists people name first when asked about Detroit rap scene. It’s a curious paradox: the more he recycles his own music, the more he’s liked. And there is nothing much to recycle to begin with. Babyface Ray never released a stone cold Michigan classic. His only solid release, Ghetto Wave with Peezy, was recorded almost five years ago, and since then it’s all been downhill.

Babyface Ray on Unfuckwitable tries to stay on the chill side and be as casual as possible but can’t hide his inability to freestyle. If there was a rhyming exam, he’d never pass. Usually he is good with the flow and keeps things short (one verse is more than enough) which saves a lot of his tracks (“Like Daisy Lane” is a good example).

The bitter irony of this tape is that on his song “Real Niggas Don’t Rap” he says: “I know some real killers don't rap \ Ayy, I'm a real nigga, no rap.” Yet he continues rapping. Either he’s not a real one or what he makes is not rap. It’s a wonder how it even passes for music.

Ray Garraty

 Courtney Barnett — Things Take Time, Take Time (Mom + Pop)

Things Take Time, Take Time by courtney barnett

No question that the pandemic brought the bougie out in people, as otherwise hip, interesting types took to baking sourdough bread and starting kitchen gardens. How else can you explain Courtney Barnett, once the sharpest tool in the Aussie rock-pop box, now singing earnestly, affectionately, a la Mr. Rogers, about the people in her neighborhood. It’s not just that Barnett has developed a disconcerting interest in real estate. She’s also slowed down, pulled the claws in and settled into a drawling stasis, as if the only thing she picked up from working with Kurt Vile was his slacking, drifting pace. And the writer who surgically eviscerated cubicle life in “Elevator Operator,” has turned her pen into a blunted instrument, inexact and uninteresting, using the word “thing” and its variant repeatedly, in nearly every song, to stand in for a blah, featureless non-specificity. (I had an English teacher who would make you rewrite the whole paper if you used the word “thing.” Paging Mrs. Langdon.) “Write a List of Things You Look Forward To,” the songwriter suggests. How about a sharper, better, less soporific Courtney Barnett album?

Jennifer Kelly

 Floating Points, Pharoah Sanders & The London Symphony Orchestra — Promises (Luaka Bop)

Promises by Floating Points, Pharoah Sanders & The London Symphony Orchestra

Maybe it’s a tad harsh to discuss this album in a worst of 2021 retrospective; in a year when the outgoing president of the USA tried to drown democracy in the bathtub and over three million people around the world died from a pandemic, nothing musical, not even a Bush Cabinet reunion doing a dance party on a palette of the most wretched LPs on earth, moves the needle on the scale of cosmic badness. Most undeservedly praised? That’s another matter. Promises was relentlessly feted in record reviews, best of the year polls and social media show and tell pages, and why? The billing sequence tells you what you’re getting; a contemporary ambient artist bulking up his mildly sparkly electronics with the sounds of an orchestra supplying the same thing here as it did on the Moody Blues’ Days of Future Passed (deep upholstery) and some solos by an aging free/spiritual jazz saxophonist. Pharoah Sanders does play with dignity and gentle soul, but that does not make this one of the best records of the year. There are many better places to hear what made him matter in the first place. One suspects that the praise heaped on this record is like a late-career, victory-lap Oscar given to some film figure whose best work never got an award. Put it on if you need some nice background sounds, it’ll do the trick, but best of the year? Don’t put me on.

Bill Meyer

  200 Stab Wounds — Slave to the Scalpel (Maggot Stomp)

Slave to the Scalpel by 200 STAB WOUNDS

Perhaps it’s a bit unfair to pick on 200 Stab Wounds. Slave to the Scalpel is just another record emerging from the sophomoric and tumid space of overlap between brutal death metal and knuckle-dragger goregrind. Song titles will reveal what’s likely already obvious: “Drilling Your Head,” “Phallic Filth,” “Itty Bitty Pieces.” And it’s equally obvious that I am feeding the trolls here: the reactionary types that make records like Slave to the Scalpel likely thump their meaty chests in triumph whenever someone is provoked, or grossed out, or takes issue with the music on moral or aesthetic grounds. Enjoy yourselves, dudes. Job done, I guess.

The more expedient response would be no response at all, simply to ignore the record and let it seep back into a moist slough of obscurity. But 200 Stab Wounds generated a bit of buzz late in 2021, scoring a positive Pitchfork review and an appreciative shout-out from horror culture website Bloody Disgusting, which doesn’t often venture into music criticism. The buzz irritated me, mostly because the record is insufferable. But it’s also the case that I really like horror movies, and I listen to a fair amount of death metal. So, what’s the deal? Why do I find Slave to the Scalpel so irretrievably noxious, but Wharflurch’s Psychedelic Realms ov Hell so much fun, or Cryptae’s Nightmare Traversal so compelling? Probably for the same reasons that I find Angst (1983) a significant film, Dead Snow (2009) enormously entertaining and Terrifier (2016) a cynical piece of crap. I can connect with the cinema of cruelty if it’s coupled to thoughtful rigor, and I can have a good time with bloody gross-outs if they aren’t operating unfairly at someone’s real, material expense. Even nihilism can be interesting and invigorating — see much of Michael Haneke’s stuff. But small-minded representations of gratuitous violence that take an obtuse sort of pride in their putative transgressions are a different matter. The problem with a movie like Terrifier or a record like Slave to the Scalpel is that they are so glibly diligent in their efforts to offend; it’s their whole reason for existing.

Things used to be different. When Carcass recorded Symphonies of Sickness (1989), the Video Nasties list commanded force of law in Britain, and the PMRC still wielded considerable power in the States. Carcass wasn’t seeking aesthetic apotheosis, and they likely weren’t operating all that ideologically. But there was a degree of interest and a sort of danger in what the band was doing. Official Culture sought forcefully to police bloody violence in music and film. Carcass presented that Official Culture with “Ruptured in Purulence.” Whole genres of heavy music emerged from the confrontation. That was then. Now you can pony up five bucks or so and stream Bloodsucking Freaks (1976) or Martyrs (2008) on Amazon Prime Video, whenever. Alternatively, you can navigate from the aforementioned Pitchfork review to Maggot Stomp’s Bandcamp and exchange 10 USD for Slave to the Scalpel, if you must. To refashion the Dead Kennedys’ trenchant irony: Give us convenience, and give us death. Whatever used to be transgressive about this sort of music, and thus resistant to the dominant logic of the commodity, has now been fully embraced by Official Culture and the market’s endless desire to expand. Those gagging sounds in “Phallic Filth”? That’s just capital doing what it does best: swallowing subcultures whole.

Jonathan Shaw

 Van Morrison — Latest Record Project Volume 1 (BMG)

Look, we don’t have to litigate all the unhinged COVID stuff here; yes, the crap Van Morrison has been spewing both in and out of his recent songs is a dangerous, irresponsible contribution to current miseries, but even if you agreed with Morrison on all of that, it is exceedingly hard to imagine you’d then sit down with all 28 songs and over two hours here, the collection titled and with cover art like it’s some fly-by-night collection of public domain works, and actually enjoy it. It would also be easy to say it’s not worth engaging with at all, but Morrison is still enough of a draw that combined with the ‘controversy’ this farrago went top ten in something like seven countries (and it’s not just him being in the news for anti-lockdown stuff and other ranting, given that 2019’s Three Chords and the Truth (sigh) managed some similar placements), and this one got at least some good reviews out there. Even some noticeably negative ones note that his voice and the music are decent, which is only kind of technically true in the sense that you’d rather have a tidal wave of pablum swamp your house than the same amount of lava. If anything, the extremely toothless “tasteful” “chops” here just make songs like “Thank God for the Blues” and “Where Have All the Rebels Gone” with its evocations of rock and roll somehow even more annoying than more obviously poisonous likes of “Western Man” and “They Own the Media” (sequenced directly together near the end of the second disc, followed directly by “Why Are You on Facebook?” like Morrison is trying to parody himself). Somehow the bland professionalism of the music makes everything worse, as if you’d gone to see a movie that promised to be absolutely batshit awful and it’s just kind of limp, competently executed on technical grounds but devoid of any kind of spark in either positive or negative senses. The absolute best-case scenario for listening to this is that someone wants two hours of vaguely Van Morrison-flavored pap playing in the background and they don’t care that every time you do start paying attention to the lyrics it just sounds like you’re listening to someone extremely bitter about support payments or something. Van Morrison is beset on these songs, constantly talking about what a brave champion of the world he is for not giving into “them” and their “system,” constantly being spied on and stolen from and disrespected. Most songs linger close to or go over the five-minute mark (they all feel more like ten) and get there mainly through aimless repetition. And then of course the whole thing ends with “Jealousy,” where he dismisses any possible criticisms of himself and his work with, well, you know exactly what. One hopes for a long and healthy life for all our fellow human beings, even ones pumping out records this rancid, but it’s worth considering Latest Record Project Volume 1 as the dark corollary to all the times an artist dies young and we lament the work they still might have made. It’s not better to be dead than to be making art like this, but it would be better to shut the hell up. 

Ian Mathers

 The War on Drugs — I Don’t Live Here Anymore (Atlantic)

The War on Drugs have always been inadvertently divisive, riding the finest of lines between ascendent classic rock (“Comin’ Through,” Lost in the Dream) and a musical touch of gray too anonymous to address (A Deeper Understanding). To say I hate I Don’t Live Here Anymore, then, is a bit dramatic — I knew the possibility of losing 52 minutes of my life was always on the table. But like Lucy Dacus’ Home Video, the novelty of more synths smacks of a cheap trick masking lackluster songwriting. Calling it a fangless Grateful Dead rip-off or dead-eyed Dylan impression is doing Jerry and Bob respective disservices; this doesn’t even pass muster as a convincing War on Drugs record. Worse, it seems to have emboldened older fans and critics who thought this was the best 2021 had to offer — a youthless, nostalgic desperation reminiscent of McSweeney’s “humor” (no guesses which band leads the list off!) or Wilco dads during that band’s heyday. Intolerable. Falling back on the attention economy as an excuse to not like something is lazy, but you’ll have to forgive me if my mortal awareness has been heightened in the last three years and my patience for an hour of listlessly strummed schlock is lower than ever. It’s a tainted orb we live on too briefly to hear I Don’t Live Here Anymore once, let alone twice.

Patrick Masterson

 Wolf Alice — Blue Weekend (Dirty Hit)

Porridge eh? Even with the warm milk, honey, almonds, raisins and other tidbits we add to make it palatable, it’s still porridge; a bowl of sludge that sticks to the roof of your mouth and dries hard and crusty. Blue Weekend is well made, attractively packaged, artisanal but porridge nonetheless. Yes, there are tasty morsels but they are trapped within an insipid slurry that seems calculated to offend few as much as appeal to many. It’s a pity because Wolf Alice have done good work, and there was a thrum of anticipation about this next step, but they sound unconvinced and in Markus Dravs they have a producer responsible for the some of the most underwhelmingly Jim Steinman moments inflicted upon the innocent by Arcade Fire, Coldplay, Mumford & Sons and other purveyors of the grand gesture. Too often their swings for Manic Street Preachers like catharsis are blunted by vocal multi-tracking, compression and a studio sheen that makes many of the songs performative rather than performed. This doesn’t make Blue Weekend a bad album so much as an algorithm of affect. If that is the point then well done but I’m still scrubbing my bowl.

Andrew Forell

#dusted magazine #2021 worsts #babyface ray #ray garraty #courtney barnett #jennifer kelly #floating points #pharoah sanders #bill meyer #200 stab wounds #jonathan shaw #van morrison #ian mathers #the war on drugs #patrick masterson #wolf alice #andrew forell

[natromanxoff]

14 - Ramblings...

Hi everybody Here's a quick few notes from a wintery Bondi. Did we all remember Live Aid? It's hard to believe it was 13 years ago, I can still remember the day like it was last week. I know I've babbled on about the show before so I won't go on again, but after the concert there was an official Live Aid party at a club in London called Legends, so of course we all rocked up to it. As we walked through the doors the first thing you heard and saw was Cliff Richard, playing an acoustic guitar and singing Bachelor Boy, or some other piece of rubbish. I suppose we can all be thankful he wasn't dancing. Anyway, the bash was a bit laid back so after about half hour we piled back into the limo's and headed back to Garden Lodge to celebrate properly, and proceeded to get legless.

Around 6am I decided it was time to go home, so I strolled out and jumped into a cab. As soon as we were moving the cabbie said, "Did you watch any of Live Aid today? I saw some of it and my two daughters are Queen fans and got me to sit down and watch them, they were amazing." He then just kept on and on about how good the band was, and this wasn't for my benefit 'cause I didn't get in outside Fred's place, and I didn't tell him I was there and what I did, so it was a genuine rave. We stopped the cab for a bit so I could get all the papers, and I couldn't help sniggering at the fact that I was on the front page of everyone of them sitting behind Charles and Di. When I finally got home I came clean with the cab driver about what I did for a living, and handed him a souvenir for his daughters, and I gave him Freddies Live Aid backstage pass, and do you know what, the bastard still made me pay and accepted a tip.

A few day's ago a Sydney radio station, Triple J, had a three hour Queen special on, complete with live stuff and interviews, and it was really quite good, although I didn't listen to all of it. I don't know if it was the red wine, but it suddenly seemed weird hearing Freddie's voice again so I sent a fax of to Phoebe, and whilst writing it, It's A Hard Life came on, and once again I had a flashback to the making of the video, which I did remind Phoebe of. We made the vid in Munich, in what was the newest studio in Europe, very hi-tech. Tim Pope was the director on this one, recommended by Roger because we used him on the Man On Fire video, and he was very good. But on his one, maybe because he had a bigger budget, I dunno, he became so slow and useless it was beyond belief. At one point he was doing a lighting change and was taking so long we just upped and went to the beer gardens and returned in much better moods. The night before the shoot we all went out to dinner, had a couple of bottles of plonk, and advised the band that in their best interest they should go to bed very early, and they took my advice.

That was too easy. So we took them back to the Hilton and Phoebe and me continued with our master plan of going out for a few drinks without them, starting at the Sugar Shack and then onto where ever. We were very naughty little boys, and as we fell back to the hotel at 7am we agreed that the first one up call the other. No problem. Phoebe went off to the PPP, and I off to the HH. Back in our respective rooms we booked wake up calls for 9am, confident at the fact we could wake. At least Mr Freestone answered his phone, but when Freddie went into his room to see where he was, he was wrapped in telephone cable, because he had picked the phone up and gone back to sleep and rolled over. Later in the day we were informed it was a rather amusing sight.

As for your's truly, I had a very rude awakening, with a certain drummer standing at the end of my bed yelling something like, "Oi, wake up, you're supposed to get me up you...(fill in what you like here). When Felix, Rogers eldest boy saw the finished video he said, "Why does Freddie look like a prawn?" From that day on, that red getup was known as 'The Prawn Outfit'. And to top it all, in mine, and quite a few other peoples opinion as well, the video is a pile of crap.

Finally, and this is only for people in Australia, a few years ago a friend of ours introduced us to her new boyfriend, and he had to be a roadie/tech, or whatever they call themselves these days. Anyway, we had a few little drinkies and told a few war stories, and it turned out he had been on tour in Europe with Tori Amos and he collects gig posters from the venues, and he said he had something for me but I couldn't have it until it was mounted. A couple of days later he turned up at my place with a wonderfully mounted poster from Bonn, Germany. It's dated 22.5.90 and it's The Cross live at the Biskuithalle, and it has The Mad, Bad and Dangerous To Know logo and a great photo of the guys. No disrespect to Roger or the band, but I have no use whatsoever for it, and it's been tucked away behind the washing machine for the last four years, so if anybody wants it send your name and address to Jacky at the fan club and she will send them onto me (please) I will then pick a person and send it on to whoever, that's if anyone replies, if I don't get a response in a week it goes in the bin. If there is more than one reply I'll give it to the person who comes up with the best reason to have it. For those who understand code. Farewell DMF, it was fun. Maybe that prat will disappear as well. Loadsa Luv

Crystal

#queen #queen band #roger taylor #freddie mercury #peter freestone #felix taylor #crystal taylor #crystal's tales