#i was talking about this but im. obsessed. emotional

[valarinde]

— It works like love.

#iwtv #iwtvedit #iwtv edit #interview with the vampire #loustat #louis de pointe du lac #lestat de lioncourt #myedit #i was talking about this but im. obsessed. emotional #about the. just. #the tiniest sliver of domestic bliss affectionate shushing #excited illicit come here. be quiet. get closer #soft.. sweet.. i cry #you're two feet away and thats too far get in let's cuddle

[kaltacore]

there's something really really bittersweet about how shadowheart is so obviously surprised and touched by tav remembering that she likes night orchids. it's one of the rare little things she could keep away from shar, something she wasn't robbed of, the last remembrances of a person she was, she used to be, maybe she still is — and by act 1 when she doesn't question her loyalties at all, deep down she knows shar can take that away too and she will obey as a good sharran she is. and now there's a person that will carry these last echoes of her memories for her so she can remember too, so she can be sure it was — it is real; and maybe there was someone who was doing the same once, who was preserving shadowheart they knew, shadowheart who was brought to the mirror again and again so she can be broken and rebuilt anew, but still loved night orchids and animals and stood up for the ones she cared about and couldn't help but act a little dramatic — but she can't recall who they were, their face nor name. and maybe one day shar will take tav away too, make them just another blank space in her mind — and it's sad and it's scary, because now once again there's a thought, an idea, a realisation in her half-emptied mind, that the thing is, it's not true that shar is the only one who cares for her, maybe it's never been; the thing is, every time she's brought to that mirror so there can be no one left but lady of loss

#finally finished her act 3 quest. got surprisingly emotional. as you can see #she's so important to me. viconia tried to remake her so obsessively and relentlessly and every time there was something she couldn't erase #her silly puns and passion for doing girls nights ENDURED #no im dead serious. there were only two moments in this game that got me on the edge of tears #isobel's note on ketheric's body. and shadowheart's unfinished note in her little hideaway #and the way nocturne talks about her and writes in her diary. heartbreaking #mother superiour made sure she would grow up in complete darkness but she still found some love in her heart #for a friend and for much less important and not at all grand things. you don't get it. i love her so much #bg3 #shadowheart

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

[quietwingsinthesky]

the last unicorn post from earlier has me thinking about the master. that yana is still in there, you know? is still someone he was, if even for a brief flash across the life of a time lord. there’s no way to unlive that life. there are ways to twist it later, sure, to make utopia into hell on earth. but the life was lived. in much the same way that the doctor can remember, can feel, the love he held onto as john smith even as that life is ripped out of his hands. the doctor choose denial and then grief and then to shutter it all away. and so john smith died, and so professor yana died, and the doctor and the master live on. the doctor has done this before, and he lives in orbit around humanity, trying to keep the best parts of them and hold them deep enough to take root (which he can pretend he gets to choose, as a time lord. as a human, it all floods in and can’t be dug back out.) but what about the master, right?

to borrow a turn of phrase: i think there are two time lords left in the universe, and they both learned how to regret.

#regret here meaning less feeling the emotion of actual regret obviously because time lords do not actually funxtion on unicorn rules. they #already get sad just fine on their own. no humanity needed for that. #but i dont know. i just dont think he brushed it off so easily. i think he did a hell of a job convincing himself he did. #and what better way then to twist his own great works and destroy the species he was working so hard to save at the end of the universe. #but what about the knowledge that he *could* be that person. that somewhere in him exists a version that wanted to save people. #a version that is painfully too much like the doctor. even. now is that part worse or better than the human part? #but if past regenerations are ghosts i think yana deserves a haunt. #anyway maybe ignore this one im rambling about nothing here #theres just. i dont know. what if you were the last of your kind and in surviving you made yourself Not Like Them in a way you’ll never #escape. #i mean doctor who is just so concerned with all these plots about hybrids and children of the tardis and clones and What Makes A Time Lord. #but they’re so obsessed with it in just. a very Lore way. is what it feels like. we get brushes of more like with jenny and how she’s #physically a time lord and the doctor denies her that inheritance. a shared suffering… #but me myself im just fascinated with the doctor and the master as the time lords who survived. but they survived Wrong #its. its. children of gallifrey that don’t belong to her anymore. you know? #i dont care if river’s got time lord dna!!! or the metacrisis is physically human!!! i dont care!!! talk to me about what it means beyond #their blood and bones!!! what’s it like to have your sense of self stripped from you like that!!! #what’s it like when so much of you is the shed skin of time lords past. but one of you was human. one of you was painfully *humiliatingly* #human!!! #enough about how much dna you need to count as a time lord. i want to know how much they can mutate until they can’t be recognized as one. #does that make sense?

[aeoris4lovers]

liam and laura experiencing the full spectrum of human emotion during the "he's my boy and i keep him safe" speech

#they're expressions are so GOOD #i too was experiencing the full spectrum of human emotion #sam is so good at creating moments that just absolutely slap you in the face with emotions you didn't know you could feel #GOD im obsessed with the idea that they're all having this deep conversation about caleb and he's down in the basement talking to a skull #like he really has the most earth shattering shit up his sleeve just. ready to go at all times huh #c2e13 #c2 rewatch #cr liveblogging #cr table #liam o’brien #laura bailey #critical role

[ourhouseishaunted]

my brain for the past like 2 weeks

#.txt #trigun #specifically #trimax #i am rotating her in my head always she is so fascinating to me i have so many thoughts i could write a novel #shes captivating to me. as a person #tbh her and tesla and the dependant plants as like. catalysts for so many emotions in the story but we dont get real insight into #their internal lives #and rem captivates me specifically bc shes so complicated wrt her actions with tesla but also the way she talks about leaving earth #and the idea of giving up on her home planet and putting her whole fresh start into seeds and then immediately making #the worst mistake of her life (tesla) and then starting over blank Again with vash and knives and how that all turned out #like!!!! the emotions going on there for her must be insane. i think about it Literally Constantly #and how it all ties into the mangas theme of the potential to be better vs the people you hurt before getting there #im literally obsessed with her #also she dresses like a lesbian electrician and i really like that vibe for her. im not immune #rem saverem #holding her in my hands i just think shes neat #also i have a whole incoherent google doc filled with random scenes from idk iguess the rem pov novel that lives in my brain?? #maybe ill clean them up and post them one day that is a threat #also i love fat baby knives in the itty bitty manga screencap i chose. i just know hes the densest baby alive #normal looking baby who you pick up and handles like a bag of wet cement

[frostedmelone]

There's so many people I've met on the internet through the years that are always so used to people being cruel or rude to them and when I'm nice they always say they love being around me but it just makes me so...... sad. Like everyone deserves someone who is genuinely kind to them and yeah joking around and being mean to your pals is fine when you respect boundaries but when it's a constant thing it just weirds me out. I love being nice to people. I love spreading kindness. What do you get from being a huge jackass to everyone, including people who you claim to be very close to? I dunno.

Everyone deserves to be loved by their friends!! It's one of my favorite things to make my friends smile and make them feel good about themselves. It feels like everyone is always so ready to put their friends down for a joke. I love lifting mine up!!! Maybe it's just me. But I am a lover at heart.

#talking #might delete soon its just random thoughts #i have had so many people in my life even just randoms gush to me about how its jarring how i dont make fun of them for their interests #like it takes every fibre of my being to not immediately say drop whoever is making fun of you this much #that me being nice to you is such a monumental event #i am begging people to stop giving horrible and mean people the time of day and realize you will find something much better in due time #even if you are lonely for a while #because i would much rather be lonely than constantly crying and feeling like less of a person due to some asshole who doesnt know when #to quit #i've had people in my life who would tell me im just too sensitive #maybe i am!!!! but why is that a bad thing to be sensitive and to be emotional. why are we so obsessed with being horrible and rude #okay yapfest over see yall next year

[fagdykebassboy]

literally the only fucking advice ive been given for getting over this person is to let time pass and if anything time has made it worse i feel like im fucking dying

#its gotten worse since they moved i cant even see them anymore or know that theyre ok #or work up the stupidity to talk to them or anything #i feel like shit but ive literally always been this obsessive over people i liked and this was the first time ive ever had that strong of #emotion reciprocated and i have the tiniest bit of confirmation that it still is and i cant do anything about it #i just have to sit here and wallow in the fact that we cant get each other back #vent #and im so scared that im never going to have a reciprocation like that again or that if i do its just going to be gone just like that again #whatevr. i have literally ten billion other things to be worried about rn and somehow that isnt helping

[hauntedpearl]

obsessed with the way meddling with fate works in Mort. literally so obsessed. i cannot stop thinking about it. reality IS inevitable but not the way you expect. the butterfly effect is real but also. the change is the world is molasses slow. like the immediate new reality doesn't just happen everywhere, just like that. the real reality is fighting the anomaly like it's a slow, but ultimately rigged, arm wrestling contest?? insane. amazing. I am losing my mind.

#lowkey i think lebanon was like this but it just doesn't hit as well as mort does tbh w you #also as someone who is obsessed with the idea of fate righting itself like a chemical reaction in equilibrium. this concept is. CHEFS KISS #also death having a midlife crisis is objectively ao funny but aldo. HE WAS SO LONELY. LIKE. HE WAS SO LONELY DO YOU UNDERSTAND. #HE WAS SADNESS AND THEN HE WAS HAPPINESS AND THEN HE CHOSE YO SAVE HIS DAUGHTER IM EMOTIONAL ABOUT THAT #anyway. #i gotta reread mort. im way too stupid to understand all of it in one read through. but also. the series is 41 books and im a slowass reader #so i will reread after some time when i feel like I've made a dent in ut #doe talks books #discworld #mort

[ellsellmesoull]

Hate when I loose the feelings and emotions that come from one of my hyperfixations and im numb to it

Now I gotta relapse and take another shot

But im so scared of all the feelings that come with it again

Hate that km so obsessed with something that has an ambiguous ending man i have actual beef with the author

If I knew it was a happy ending, I would've been more comforted rereading

But if it was a 100% happy ending, this wouldn't have hurt or stuck w me so much

#of course im talking about omniscient reader's viewpoint im so obsessed w it that it made me feel so much #and i've always shut down all negative emotions so now im in a dilemma #I wanna reread orv but I cannot bring myself to #cus I know the emotional rollercoaster id go through #and im procrastinating by oh no need to reread you already know the story #but the story only ends when the reader gives up on it and im not ready to give up but im not ready to go through it again #I wanna reread but I cant bring myself to cus im scared

[fakestage]

I think (as much as I annoyingly complain and whine about not having a partner) being single this long has been good for me. I'm learning a lot about myself and I'm learning why I was a shit person, and through finding the root of the problem I can kind of... start to heal. I can be nicer to myself so I can grow and get better. Because TBH.. being mean and cruel to yourself doesn't make you become a better person. It just makes you believe that thats what you /are,/ and thats what you /always will be,/ as opposed to realizing that you are a product of your circumstances but that does not mean you can't get better and become a better person. Accepting help and trying to get better so you can eventually love yourself – even if no one else does – is the greatest and loveliest thing you can do for yourself. You deserve that love, you exist and you live and you feel and that is a truly beautiful gift.

#uhm well anyway I hope everyone finds people and a place where they feel safe and loved #I'm feeling really emotional sorryy #basically. tldr; found the problem! trying to get better now through loving myself instead of hating myself #its been really hard. its going to be really hard. I feel like ive barely made any progress #I wish I had a therapist to talk about this stuff with. but I dont. #btw the uh root problem: finding out my mother was actually hugely abusive & I already knew my dad was #so basically ive been having to confront the fact that Ive been living a lie and my mother is actually deeply terrible as much as my dad #and my parents should have never had children & ive never had one single decent adult in my life #so basically uhm yea lol. I was born into dysfunction. I was never going to turn oit normal or okay. #so its been hard to like. figure all that out alone. learning I have ptsd and extreme ocd + dissociation because of them hasnt been easy #its made me so deeply miserable because I guess I assumed what my mom was doing to us was normal this whole time? #because I thought no. surely not. surely i cant have TWO terrible parents. I need at least 1 good one right? #but yea no actually every adult has hurt me in some way. and I was never going to turn out alright because #I am the king of obsessing and cycling over everything in my life #Im like. not okay right now but not being im in danger just because I wish I had someone to talk to about all this. #I just need to learn to drive so I can get out of here. I need to get out like #all these realizations have been really really heavy on me and ive been having trouble sleeping #Its been hard to process and I dont really know where to go from here. I guess I cant properly heal and grow until I move out? #idk this has been really long im so sorry. #vent #tw vent #tws -> #abuse ment #parents ment #<- in tags

[myulmahng]

hyunjin + love

ice.cream // sorry, i love you // ice.cream // fan meeting // fan call

#ice.cream is a masterpiece #made me so emotional #i could listen to hyunjin talk about love forever #he deserves everything #and i hope he knows he is so so loved #by so many people #especially me #sorry im obsessed with hwang hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #ice.cream #skz #stray kids #web weaving

[clownboymcchucklefuck]

Okay but you can actually learn alot about Colored Gaze and the boys just from the warnings at the beginning.

#Okay but like- #“Body disfigurement” HAD ME SHAKING IN MY DAMN BOOTS #IDK WHY BUT ITS SCARIER THAN SAYING BODY HORROR I- #“Abduction and Murder” YEAHHH BABY THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT #“Unhealthy Obsession” 😩😩😩😩😩😩 #“Emotional Manipulation” baby im already in your basement theres no need 😩💅 #coloredgazevnzachary #coloredgazeseth #coloredgazesimon #colored gaze #male yandere #yandere #clrdgaze #clrdgazevn

[silverislander]

if someone else shows more than two indications that they like a thing that's a good, normal way to tell they like that thing, which is normal, because people like things. but if I have more than two indications of liking a thing that means i am irrevocably obsessed with the thing in a way that deserves mockery actually. this is a worldview that makes sense

#i do. a lot of mental gymnastics to internally justify my anxiety. and its fucking exhausting and i hate it #levi.txt #i talked about carrie in One class Once mentioning i was writing my essay on it. i made a halloween wallpaper w a still from the movie #bc i like carrie! its an interesting story. its not smth ive ever become completely hyperfixated on but i do like it #but i couldnt use the wallpaper for more than a week bc i was like 'people are going to think im obsessed' #like. i cant show any interest in smth or else it becomes 'people will think youre a freak about it' #were going to watch tlou in class on halloween and i just know its going to be difficult #bc whenever smth i love is mentioned i have to put a lid on my emotions to the point that it barely looks like i care at all #bc me being excited is so often 'too much' (both in my mind and historically from the perspective of others) #i am IN the 'obsessed with stories' major and i wont even let myself be visibly into stories. make it make sense #just. aughhhh i dont hold literally anyone else to these standards and its tiring! and i wish my brain would stop torturing me w it #i wish i could just be excited and passionate abt my favourite things without feeling guilt or anxiety abt it #im working on it. im doing it anyway and its improving its just slow going

[dixiedingo]

Bahhh

#been feeling crummy #doesn't help my eliptical machine finally gave up #but I've been obsessing again #i hate it when I do this because I don't feel like I have any control over it #no matter how hard I distract myself I just keep thinking about the pains and stuff #this morning I couldn't stop thinking about how abandoned I feel/felt #yesterday and today i just feel ugly. unsightly. #and i wanna make friends but also i know I'm super intense with my feelings and reactions. #and i know. we just live inna day and age where people just. don't have the patience for it #it feels like if i ever complain to anyone they'll just abandon me and complain about how like #self absorbed and emotional I am #and I know this is all irrational but when it actually happens to you when the worst case scenario actually happens #you get so jumpy and frightened #my problems seem so intense and so much cause everytime I bring it up I judt get hit with #“oh.” or “wow.” or “im sorry.” #and its like you're clearly uncomfortable! and now I feel bad! and its like I can never tell anyone whats wrong. #and the few people who do listen I can never get them to talk to me in normal circumstances #so i feel like you're a therapist more than a friend and thats worse bc its like im using you #vent #i just feel like crying but I know it wont fix anything and i'll just get another nose bleed

[maschotch]

hi again!

i am naturally ever so soft for emily prentiss but oh my GOODNESS that beautiful character study?

“there was always a sickening layer of sin over her skin” — my God. How painfully true. And she knows it too, the look on her face at the end of Demonology as she gazes up at the church with that little bit of blood trickling out her nose says it all. 😭

and is there anything more heartbreakingly accurate to described Hotch than “A calculated tenderness.” 🥺💛

i loved it 💛

- 🦢

ahhh this is so nice!!

i really don’t write emily as much as i should but it’s hard to convey her energy… soo much of her character is dependent on pg’s mouth movements delivery, and it’s hard to hit that sweet spot between free-spirited and caring

akhdksh i really didnt intend that sin part to be a reference.. i was actually a little reluctant bc im rarely willing to casually slip in some religious-type word, but “she felt icky” didnt seem to cover itskdjskhx but i like the parallel! i probably have more to say on emily and religion but i couldnt think of any other way to describe just how ingrained her regret is and how everythings shes done feels like a permanent stain that she can never wash off

“calculated tenderness” WAS intentional bc i feel like it really does encapsulate his behavior. hotch being reserved yet unabashed in his kindness is such a weird contradiction (which again id like to give credit to the actor for) but it suits him so well. he’s either afraid to feel or express his love, but he can’t help it. and i think each member of the team comes to realize the depth of his affection in their own time.. emily just happens to be incredibly observant, so i think she notices it the fastest (especially bc she witnessed it before she experienced it for herself). i could really talk ab this all day skdhskd

#ok see the reason i dont write character studies that often is because i can talk for sooooo long ab them #and i love talking about it so i love that you sent this ask—i just have to stop myself from writing an essay in response #it fucking sucks bc it seems like sometimes the team just… forgets that hotch cares and they have to relearn that all over again #which is some fucking bullshit #garcia does it the most—which is kinda odd tbh bc she tends to look on the bright side #she’s so brave and open about who she is but for some reason she’s insecure when it comes to hotch #even tho he’s never reprimanded her.. she thinks she’s constsntly disappointing him #reid forgets ab how much hotch cares pretty often but tbh its somethin he unintentionally does w everyone #he can get stuck in his own little bubble sometimes and i think he just? forgets that other people experience emotion? #(when i talk ab reid being emotionally immature this is always what im talking about) #derek forgets in his own way… like… he always knows that hotch cares for the team #he just forgets that that includes HIM #akdhskhd idk how it happens but its like he doesnt realize that he’s loved as an individual #emily does something similar… she recognizes that hotch cares ab the team (including her) #but she feels guilty about it #she subconsciously distances herself from the rest but its too late: hotch cares about her too #and i dont think hotch can stop caring once he starts #asks #n e ways. skipping the update today akdhsk i’ll either post two tomorrow or three on friday #ive got two exams tmrw so obviously instead of studying or writing i had to obsess over mob psycho #priorities